Hey Riddle Riddle - #285: We've Alienated An Entire Continent...

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

We ring in the new year with a party, some predictions for 2024, a visit from Uncle Santa and a fond farewell to a certain accent! "Champagne for my real friends and real riddles for my sham friends" - Francis BaconStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifSpecial opening theme remix:Josh FudgeEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. And the horse is named Friday. Hey, can I talk to you guys for a second? Yeah. This is an awesome party. I love it. Dennis is a super close friend. Great location. I love his house. The food is awesome.

Parking ample. It's a cool place. You pulled us into the tiniest bathroom I've ever seen. What do you need, JBC? Yeah, he's got multiple bathrooms. They're all they all smell delicious like I'm actually getting hungry being in this bathroom. Is that insane? Like I don't know what the smell that's like this Pope reads so fucking good. Huh? I guess my big problem. Okay is that he Takes the dressing up as baby new year

like a little too far. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like a diaper should be worn or? No, yeah, I mean, just the diaper would be fine. Like, you know, as a baby new year, I get it with the diaper, but like he. The Abilk Court to the grandfather of clock? Well, yeah, I mean, like that's a touch too far.

Like the stinky dirty diaper being built, court to the clock. GPC, you're saying our mutual close friend Dennis takes dressing up as baby new year a little too far. If I'm, if I'm out of line, just let me know because it seems like you guys aren't on my side. No, I think, GBC, if Erin and I are understanding correctly, the three of our close friend, star of FX's Rescue Me, Dennis Leary, is going too far with his baby new year party costume. And GBC, we just are trying to clarify because I will say you've had sort of a jealousy issue with Dennis Leary in the past.

No. And the rap, in the past. No. And the rap. You sure? The rap. You remember the rap? I asked what Andrew Garfield was like and he said he's fine. That's not an answer, Dennis. Oh, I think Chris Pratt is voicing Andrew Garfield now.

I think that's how I just heard the news. But he's not going to do it, Italian. JPC. I thought this party's going great, but the costume's funny, not too graphic, but a little graphic, I sort of feel like it strikes the balance. I think he's doing great.

I'm having fun. Addle, you're having fun. Yeah, I'm drunk. He's drunk. So I think you need to maybe take a second, smash some cold water on your face. You know what? So affirmations, and we're gonna get back to the party, splash some cold water on your face. You know what? You know what?

Affirmations, and we're gonna get back to the party, okay? I'm overreacting. You guys just leave this tiny little bathroom. Leave me in here for a couple of minutes. Not gonna do another upper ducker. Okay, I'm gonna take the popery out with me. You're not gonna eat that. I'm not gonna eat the popery.

It doesn't help me do the upper ducker. Hold on. See, you're the asshole who put a duck in the top of my toilet? You're doing the upper duckers. But it's a digested duck. That duck came out of me. Okay, this is ruined. I'm gonna call us to Newburn.

We're gonna go record an episode, okay? I don't trust us at this party. Okay, let's all just, but let's all, we have to say goodbye to this lady. Hey, hey. Hey, you guys in the bathroom? Yep. You guys enjoy yourselves?

Yep. You have a notice? I grew up in Boston. Smoke the cigarette, smoke the cigarette. I grew up in Boston. And you have a notice? Hey. You have a notice? I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- You just circulate at his party? You're jealous. Get out. Aaron, look at this. JPC and I are outside the window. You're still inside, you're about to jump. I'm dressed like Fessick from Princess Bride. JPC is dressed like Indigo, Ventoya. And you're the Princess Bride. This is just like that moment in Princess Bride

where Fessick looks up and he goes, joke pretty lady. I'm never ready. Remember? I've never read it. You've never read it. Anybody got a peanut? Nobody's read it.

Nobody's read it. That's not your Colum got a peanut. Nobody's read it. Nobody's read it That's a juke a lumber. I'm out of the window. Okay. Oh In the bushes it hurts so bad and I'm really scared. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm really scared Some did his lyrics hard bushes pull up the car pull up the car pull up the car pull up the car pull up the car pull up the car And get into the episode welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle and happy fricking new year Pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car, pull up the car I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, wow, that that opening was spot on. That was really good But what you should be thinking is was the theme song different? Was that a different theme song? Who was that? What was that? Who could be something new? Something borrowed something blue. That was beeper to boo. That was Josh Fudge

You remember Josh Fudge heard of him That was the Josh Fudge remix to the Hey Riddle Rittle theme. Thanks to old friend of the show Josh Fudge, a person that we found their name live while we were recording and they couldn't have been nicer about it. And now we have this awesome theme. So thank you. Josh Fudge, check out Josh Fudge's music on Spotify,

follow Josh Fudge and all the socials. And tune in next week to Hey Riddle Riddle where we will be debuting a completely different theme which will be our old theme and then we'll just use that one forever. Unless. Hmm? Something happens in routine guidelines.

Yeah, I guess it less. Yeah, everything is caveat with that. There's always an unless. Absolutely, unless. We're starting year, a fresh, a new. If you're listening to this right now, it probably means that you're currently doing the bare minimum at work. We're so proud of you.

This is a great start. So proud of you. But we are a riddle podcast. And we solve riddles and puzzles and may not say here lateral thinking problems Three Chicago comedians. That's not super updated. We should update what they show Two Chicago comedians one L.A. comedian Am I I saw a different a light pole today at all and it said it said Chicago comedy college

And then it said in like fine print. I had like a phone number and it was like million served and it had like a fine print at the bottom And it said as heard on Joe Rogan experience Wow did Joe Rogan plug the Chicago comedy college a scam that seems to be like perpetuated on this light pole. Anyway, I took down the number and I am going to, that's my New Year's resolution is finally send Adults a Chicago comedy college. He'll learn so much. Yeah.

Will you guys come visit me in my dorm? No. Okay. There's going to be dirty in there. Super dirty, yeah. Gross. Well, that's a comedy college. So it wouldn't be a dorm.

It would be, what would it be? A dormant, a dormant volcano? It's okay that you don't know how to do this yet. You haven't gone. Yeah, a dormant from cheers. A dormant from cheers. Here's what I'll say. So it is happy new year.

It's 2024. Gross. We need to, gross. We need to, we need to tack on, so 2024 we have to have some resolutions as a unit, a whole as an entity as a group as a podcast. I was thinking 2024 is hey riddle riddles 2020 NAR which means Okay, Mar more Australian accents for the whole year, we can't do any more Australian accents.

I feel like, especially me, it's a go-to, I don't do it well, famously. I don't care that I don't do it well, it's fun to do, but we're growing, we're changing, we're evolving, we're challenging ourselves, we're stepping outside our comfort accents, 2020, NAR. Okay, and I love it.

I will say the last two years have been about Nicole Kidman in her AMC. So we'll have to move on from that. Are we ready? I know, but who was? No, but we've been leaning on that for some, well, I haven't got any comedy colleges. Yeah, you haven't got a comedy college.

That's a good point. That's a good point. I've got my degree, which, Adel, is it okay if I just get a couple things out, just to get them out of my system? Cause I'm fully on my Australian accent, absolutely sucks, I lose confidence in it halfway through. But just to, just to, you know,

push it out so I can get a clean start. Yeah, okay. Hiver, okay, and rise up, ride. Rise up, ride. Am I good? Am I good? No, I'm done, I'm done now. All right. Let me get it out. Why is a disc? Mm-hmm special eyes. I think I got it.

This wash. This wash. People. Papil. Papil. Papil. Am I a papil? Are you done? Are you done, Adel? We had no request. We had no request. We had to do a live show. Do you guys? Do we done, Adel? We had no request. I said the last time. I said the last time. He had to do a live show.

Do you guys, do we feel like we know why? Yes, I'm connected. Do you think there's a correlation? I think it's just because it's a country full of hoons. And hoons are... Oh, hooning is one of the, my favorite Australian pastimes that I've learned about. Basically, hooning it or hoons are people that like,

I guess like, soup up cars and then destroy them by like, driving them too hard. Yeah, it's a very uniquely Australian thing to do. Found very australian. And it's very illegal. All through. Wait, we said that, okay. I know.

We're not gonna be the podcast episode. After this episode. After this episode? Yeah, 20, 20, 20. For me, it's now. I'm done. I just have to talk about hooning one more time. And now I'm done.

I won't talk about hooning for another year. I ain't on R and R. I'm not trying now. I'm not trying to be negative here. I think we can't do it. So effortless for it. Well, here's the thing. Aaron, Australia, let's see, there are different times on.

So this is for Australia, this episode is in December. No, that can't be right. We'll figure it out. But anyway, this is sort of the final of the food. It's only the third, so it might be. It might be still December. Yeah, I think they're ahead of us. Here's what I'll say.

We do have some quick, quick, quick workup top that we have to get through. It's not fun, it's an obligation. Famously last New Year's, we talked about celebrities. We think we'll pass away this year. I hate when we do that. I hate when we do that. Aaron, you famously said, Bluey's dad, bandit would...

Did I? Yes. You did. JBC said that Rahm manual would be eaten by a helicopter. So, is there any... Is this real? I don't know. Is there any? So we do have to get't know. Yeah, that's not real.

Is there any, so we do have to get, just a few chunks out of the way and then we can start with the riddles. Is there any celebrities we want to say, or are gonna pass away this? I'm gonna say Rob Emanuel is gonna get eaten by a helicopter. I'm gonna double down on that.

I wanna say that I think the helicopter that ate Rob Emanuel last year is gonna pass away in 2024. Okay, and I think goofy is gonna hit a canyon bottom and not bounce, not bounce back. Uh, okay. Wow. Not Riley Coyote. I think goofy. I think it's, I think his time is due. You, now, but you think goofy's going to dot parish, trying to be respectful in a very wily coyote way. So do you think is it? Okay. Here's what, here's what I don't know. And this is something I just thought about this morning.

Wook up in a screen, in a fit. I had a night tarot about it. Wiley Coyote and Goofy both plunge a lot to Canyon Bottoms. Wiley Coyote famously holds up a little sign that says like, help or help or whatever it is. Goofy does more of like a, yeah, hoo hoo hoo. Okay. Okay. So I think where the coyote is fit for this life,

I think he's all about, he's all about that life, that canyon bottom life. I think Goofy was not made for this. I think he's a dog. Yeah. He's staying his lane and he's not. And I think it catches up to him.

Adela, if you had a little sign that you'd hold up when you were about to fall into a canyon, what would it say? This seems right. Oh no. It's just a, of course. He has a sign. Of course.

He has a sign. Of course. He has a sign. Of course. I guess if you bring around a sign that says, of course, with you anywhere you go, no matter how you die, it's gonna make make, it's going to make someone smile. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And RIP already to the roadrunner,

Wiley Coyote movie that just got shelved and they said, we'll never be released because it's going to be tax write off. So that's a bummer. For the other things we have to get to public don't, public domain announcements for 2024. And actually, this seems apropos about what we're just talking about. Did Uncle Santa finally hit the public domain? Not yet. That'll be. So public domain for 24 people all of a sudden some mad dash to write a musical about Uncle Santa. You don't understand listeners. You don't understand how much money we pay every time we do an Uncle's in the episode.

It's an investment for us. Yeah, like $80,000. I don't know if this is correct, but one website said public domain for 2024, Batman, Superman, Mickey Mouse, and even Bugs Bunny. So that can't be right. That is insane and it cannot be correct.

That's what it said. And I'm gonna trust the very first search results versus doing any diligent research. We also have to get to some 2024 predictions. Anybody have some predictions for the year, perhaps something with the Paris Summer Olympics? Way more Batman porn. I guess.

Yeah. Way more superman porn, way more Mickey Mouse porn. I feel like this is a nice one. More about Bugs Bunny porn. It's Bugs Bunny and he's 2023 was peak Bugs Bunny porn. I don't this is an easy one. It's Bugs Bunny and he's 20, 20, 20, he was peak Bugs Bunny porn. I don't think you can get anymore, but he's shopping on a penis like retro money.

Don't say something that funny. I'm not in the right mindset for something that funny at all. What's up, Dick? He has anal sex and then says, You know, you stinker. I think that's pretty fun. Of course, I'll put him in Elmer, but have sex. Okay, I love it.

Okay, that's it. And these are predictions that you do in predictions. No, these are things that projects I'm working on. Any 2024 predictions besides that? I predict that we all get closer in our friendship. I predict that we do at least three scenes that require Australian accents every episode. Can I do a prediction?

Can I do a prediction? And I'm sorry for everyone. I'm sorry for all of you, free listeners, free loaders out there. We love you. You don't have to pay anything for the show. But if you do go to the Patreon every month for the past three or four years, we do a review crew episode where we review something.

I predict that, so we do what, 12 a year, I predict that for next for 2024 for this year, 75%. So nine out of the 12 review crews, Aaron will be unable to complete for some reason. the 12 for a few crews, Aaron will be unable to complete for some reason. And there will be a valid reason, she'll have a reason, but she will not be able to finish whatever the assignment is for some reason. And please be honest with me, is this, are you saying this based on me throwing up maple syrup into the sink? Aaron, there's nothing to do with you throwing up maple syrup into the sink. This has nothing to do with you taking your dog to the emergency room.

This has nothing to do with the video game giving you motion sickness so you can't finish. This has nothing to do with the fact that Netflix personally logged you out and said you can never log back in before you watch the movie. This is just this is just a blanket statement that I think will be a prediction that will come true. Hold on. I am mostly okay in our main feed episodes. I think I thrive on our clue crew episodes. That's where you're best. I'm where, everything's great. I'm golden over there.

I'm the queen over there. There is something about review crew episodes. I have, I'm cursed over there. Yeah. It is unnatural to my body to be on review crew episodes. You to probably feel so uncomfortable in some corner of Hey Riddle Riddle, right? Addle, Addle. Addle, you have to feel uncomfortable. I'm always uncomfortable. That's my secret cap. No, Aaron, I'm just, this is where the smart money is. I'm just putting my

money on a bet that I think I can win and i'm i'm being conservative for the same nine out of twelve uh... what about to have to get completely determined to not have anything go wrong that's just make it that happened more more or less that's fine i'm going to do a side-backed based off with jpc just said and i think airin for your november review crew in this year of our lord of our lord l-o-r-d-E, Australian Lord, 2020. I think that for your birthday month, you're gonna have a poll that's like,

Aaron goes to Hawaii, and then the other options are gonna be like, hold your breath for four minutes, catnap, and something else. Catnap's gonna win or whatever it is, and Aaron's gonna be like, fuck, oh no. Is this because I put DIY Christmas decorations,

the one I really wanted to in on the poll, and then Maple Syrup won, and I threw up into the sink. I feel like there's a better, huge social consequence for me throwing up into my own sink in my own home, with my own Maple Syrup, okay? In the privacy of my own podcast. Yeah, okay, I'm not safe in my podcast anymore.

Fuck that. Okay, we have one more thing to get to before we get to riddles. And that is something we started last year. It's now a Heyer Rural Nier tradition, which is, JPC, you have to call Jason Statham and tell him to not jerk off. This is, this is, this is, this is, this it. I don't know if you remember this. Famously last year, 2023, our first episode of the year,

you called Jason Statham and warned him because you predicted that the cast of the expendables would perish. Oh, okay, Aaron, do you have any memory of this? Absolutely not. And guess what? I did the best of episodes this year. And so I listened to that episode within the last three weeks.

So wait, but what do you think odds are that this didn't happen in that at all? It's just making me do this. That would be very funny. I have to do it. I have to do it. There's still time to do something like that in this episode. Say we did something last year and make us do it again.

I will say JBC. This sounds a lot like you. And I think you should do it. Sounds right. But he's new. He can nail voice here. I think he knows exactly. Okay, you know what? We'll just do it. We'll just, okay, give it a quick dial here. Don't know why I'm dialing. I should just hit Jason Statham, a little auto dial, but I select it from my contacts. Oi, you've reached Jason Stathham and his partner and his partner Hobbs

That's right. We're married Please leave a message to the character Hobb Was that his beep or is that beep? Okay Hey Jason you got a buddy. You got a change of answering machine Every time I call I feel like I spend the first 30 seconds of the call saying it's so fucking confusing. Who's doing Hobbes? Beep!

What the fuck? Oh, that's my microwave. Oh God. And the milk got too hot. No way to cool it down. Sort of reverse microwave. I guess I could try by best to invent that See if I put negative 30 seconds on the boy love. I just picked up the phone. I'll stride it Jason go to the machine, but Jason. Yeah, it's JPC wait. You weren't jerking off

Where you want you weren't jerking off where you want? maybe Jason you're only here by the grace of God because you didn't do it last year. I gotta tell you, buddy, you can't do it this year. God is great, isn't it? God is good at it, isn't it? If you jerk off at all this whole year, your sister Vanessa Kirby. Oh, from the Game of Thrones movies.

You mean jerk off again? Hi, it's me Hobbs. You jerked off already. Hobbs, what are you even doing there? Um, I am. You're his partner. Yes. Stop him from jerking off.

No. What? Would never. All right. You're on your own, Jay. Good luck to you, Jason. Good luck, God bless Hobbs. I'll see you at Christmas.

All right, love you. I Good luck to you, Jason. Good luck, God bless, Hobbs. I'll see you at Christmas. All right, love you. Bye, I love you too, bye. Oh, wow. What a sweet little phone call that was. Yeah, what a nice tradition that is. Well, they're down to earth folk. Another tradition we have. Most episodes is that we have to do some fucking riddles.

So let's do that tradition. Everybody ready for the riddles? The first of the year? Yay! Okay. Yes. Trotten by Sparrows. Huh? Yeah. That's echo. Yeah, that's echo. Trotten by Sparrows resting their wings. Adorns peasant's houses stands above kings.

Reath, chimney, icicles, roof. It's a roof. Wow. Aaron starting starting off the new year blazing hot. Let's see if we can keep that strict. Uh, well, let's go. Let's go. I did hear roof, which means, uh, I do want to see an uncle Santa scene. No, no, why? No. We don't have to at all. At all. At all. The new year, please. That's kind of an important taste because he's passed away. He passed away for, I think we did have like second cousin

Saint Nick, we had, we had a few. Casey is typing. There were, there were other, you know, there were other uncle Sanctus, but he's, I mean, he's gone. We can do it. I don't mind doing like my impression. Yeah.

But I just wanted to you know listeners are gonna It's in port taste. It's not the public domain. It's gonna cost us $80,000 that it's in port taste. I do want to see it So JPC do your best impression so your uncle Santa on the roof And it's January Aaron you're you're the homeowner of this roof and you have a feeling that He's been stuck up there and you're coming up to check on him about a month later. Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I know you're not stuck. I sleep Yep, you're dreaming. I'm dreaming well leave leave the dream bagel. Yep. I'm gonna leave the dream bagel and the dream coffee dream change of underwear and

What's supposed to be needing that? Hey, here's an idea. I can smell you, Uncle Santa. I can smell you from down here. Oh, oh, oh. You want a pizza for lunch? Is frozen pizza? OK, I mean, I'm going to cook it, but can I just, doesn't have to be delivery? Eh, come on.

OK, OK, but Uncle Santa, if you can, we took all the Christmas decorations down last week. I can't! Okay. I'm scared! Okay, are you stuck up there or are you like emotionally stuck up there? Yes! Hey, Jeannie, Jeannie.

Yeah, what's up? Um, can I try talking to him? Yeah, but honey, I think we're gonna have to move. I'm not even kidding. I think I have hey, hey champ. Hey big guy Oh, sorry about that. Why don't you? Sorry about that. The wind just really took it. I was wondering I see you have a ski do up here Are you able to Maybe slide. I don't know how you got up here on a ski do

Okay, you want to take a foot test drive everybody wants you got up here on a ski do okay you want to take a foot test drive everybody wants to spin on all go set to ski do well no I I'm not magical so I think I just crash but well you with that they're gonna keys or you threw them at me you you threw them at me about 150 miles an hour I've done by the fastball you're bleeding you're bleeding oh my god uncle Santa Huh, why? Come on. How much longer you just injured my husband. Okay, this is serious. You scared the kid. No, no, Uncle Santa. Stay till the snow. Oh, oh,? I'm using my sack that I keep all the presents in, tricking the dogs into the sack, pulling it up

onto the roof and eating the dogs. Wouldn't there be dog bones on the roof? I can see dog bones on the roof. I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing.

I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing. I can see dogs missing. I can see of this act, pulling it up onto the roof and eating the dogs. Wouldn't there be dog bones on the roof? I can see dog bones on the roof. There's a pile of dog bones right there. You got a dirty roof, ho ho ho. That's not on me.

See? Wow. I'm glad we saw it. That was worth the $80,000 I think. Yeah, some new lore, some new backstory. Yeah. I'll go say it to a little less likeable. Well, no, I don't think so either.

That was less likeable. He's a pressure. That's the duty of pushing. A favorite episode of any podcast ever is the Uncle Santa podcast episode. He writes his KD on to Roo. He gets ducks for a month. He eats dogs.

He's dead. He's he died for his time in service of something. It's her. He had a reason. He had his reasons. Here's another riddle. What is black is night and floats on a sea of white. It tells a story, but makes no sound. It helps the news to get around. Writing words on a piece of paper. Yeah. Yeah. Air and you basically got it. It's just a little more specific than that.

A book of newspaper. You say font. I said font. Font. Um, that's close. Um, what is black is night and floats on a sea of white? A word. Uh, yes. Letters.

Yes, but specifically, this is a specific word. Well, yeah. I are we looking for a specific word? Well, yeah, I mean, all answers are specific. News, that's right. But this, oh, let me read this first part one more time. It might be helpful. What is black is night and floats on a sea of white? So a newspaper, uh, with somebody guessed, that's a lot of black and white. But this specific thing is black on top of the white. It floats in the sea of white. Oh, cookies and cream. It's used to make head newspaper. And yeah, Aaron, it's ink. Okay. Pretty good. I thought, I mean, it wasn't

pretty good because we got just ever so close to it pretty quickly. That's true. Okay, we're starting off the year blazing hot. What seat is above all others? The princete. Huh? The hot seat. Okay. And the hot seat is above all others? Oh, I didn't find seat.

Jump seat. Yeah, like those. What seat is above all others? The prince of which is richly served, yet when he gained stature, he'll be lowered as he deserves. Oh, hi, C. Oh, hi, C. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. A good. I do apologize that I used another australianism. GPC year man at a restaurant and you're complaining to the server at all that you don't fit

in the high chair. Yeah, so I sorry, yes, I was talking and you started walking away. Oh, yeah, sorry, I thought you. No, trust me, don't have to apologize, it happens so often though. I'm just used to it and The high chair that you brought to the table. I think this is a medium. Do you happen to have a large? I'm so sorry. We only have the one The one comes in size. Yeah, I mean, we don't custom make them these we order these yeah, I have to order Yeah, we never see a size. size I was just bringing out to humor you

I didn't know you're gonna try and sit in it. I would recommend you just use our normal chairs Okay, if I could I would so first of all I thought good I would second of all no, I'll be using a high chair and And if you don't have the one that fits me then I guess you Who do work here correct? I? Yes, I'll have to come with me to my car to get the one that fits me, then I guess you, who do work here, correct? I, yes. We'll have to come with me to my car to get the one that I have and bring it into the restaurant. Hmm.

Because it's too big for me to lift by myself. I'm fine to allow you to bring that in. I don't have to join you. I must demand that you do. Okay. I have to, hmm. I'm just, no, I just, this job doesn't pay me well enough to kind of... Put up with that.

It's not a matter of pay! And it's not a matter of pay! I'm requisitioning you to do this task for me. Huh, okay. Um... Our specials today, we do have a... It's a job of shim. It's only one special today.

And he's a special boy. And it's his birthday. And he's me. And I demand that you go get your coat walk with me to my car which is parked at my house. We did bring the high chair back for me to sit. Of course sir we did receive your email from open table when you made the reservation it would say in special notes it is my birthday and then it said free appetizer, free dinner, free dessert. That's not something we do here. I'm happy to bring out some something.

I don't send those emails. I Don't send those emails. Okay. Was there someone else in your party that couldn't make it that sent? No. I'm dining alone. My daughter Sends the emails on my behalf. Of course. She wants nothing to do with me, but on my birthday, she books me a restaurant experience so that I can feel like a special boy. And is your daughter, the woman who's sitting back to back at the other table, from you with the fake mustache on? I wouldn't know. I have never seen my daughter face to face. I was in prison for many years.

Oh, can I ask what you work? I was the warden. Oh, yeah. And don't you feel like a fool? Thank you, thank you for doing that, I guess. I've never met a warden, I don't know what to say to anyone. I mean, he was a warden and then he went to jail for tax fraud, okay? Yes, I was a prison warden who went to jail for tax fraud, so.

I met prison, okay. No, fight, fight. No. How do you know so much about my life? You're not my enemy, Stephen, from across the way, are you? I'm your daughter. Ugh. And I'm your friend.

I'm your enemy Steven from across the way. Ah, the mustache! You are Steven from across the way. All these years? All these years. Now let's get this waiter to go back and get your high chair from the house. Waiter, obviously this is a very special occasion, not something that we planned out ahead of time. I think you should have come with me back to my

house in South Dakota, get the high chair from my car, which I do not own, and bring it back to this restaurant so I can have my special pancake breakfast. And since we have this big big reunion happening, we should get all of it for free. Let's seal it all with a triple kiss. Seen. That's what it's like to be a waiter in 2024. Yeah, pretty much anywhere. Let's do one more. Oh, can I see that?

Yeah, of course. Can I ask you a question? This, have you, I don't really eat out in restaurants a lot, but I do go to a breakfast place about once a week. It's like our special time. We go get some breakfast on a Saturday and I do get to see like little kind of insane things. For the most part, most people are great.

They just go to restaurants, they act normal, there's a lot of like normal at restaurants. But about a couple weeks ago, but a couple weeks ago, is that this restaurant having breakfast? And as soon as we walked in, there was an alarm going off, like one of those cell phone alarms,

it's like, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, like very loud and very abrupt. And I'm like walking into the restaurant, like, what's going on? Like, does no one here this like cell phone alarm going off? It goes off for 10 minutes. Wow.

Finally, I'm like, I'm like trying to figure out where it's coming from, but I'm not like asking anyone or stopping or hassling anyone, because it's obviously a customer. And there's one table, and there are some older people. And my suspicion is on them. Sure. Yeah.

This is a judgment, I'm making a judgment, but my suspicion is on them, because they're also one of the only people that are not looking around for the sorts of this out, which is a big red flag. Because finally, a waiter comes up to them and says, Hey, it's the two people. They say the cell phone is one of your cell phones going on.

And the guy, it's a guy and a woman. And the guy turns to the woman and goes, she doesn't even have a cell phone. And the waiter goes, could it be your cell phone? And he goes, I don't think so. I don't think so. And he reaches that he was back and he pulls out a loud cell phone, it's just like, has been going off for 10 minutes.

But I did love the insanity of the waiter who knows it's him. And it's asking him the most polite way. Could it be yours? And his first response was, she doesn't even have a cell phone. It's like, hey, man. We're talking about you. That's exhausting. Um, yeah, I also feel like a lot of older people have the not haptics. What's it? Where's like, when you text or something, it's like, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Oh, yeah, the sound's on. Where it's like, what are you doing?

People who still have the sound on your phone, I got to tell you, enough with it. She got it. His phones need to be completely silent. I do know people in the service industry saying that post COVID people are significantly crazier to staff at restaurants. Yeah, I believe it be. And I've noticed, and it's the few times I've been at like a fancy restaurant for like a birthday or a special occasion for like a friend or something over the last few years, where I've had the thought like, oh my God, I think being rich gives you brain damage.

Because it's only at the fanciest restaurant that you see people trying to make waiters and waitresses cry for sport. Do it just. It's outrageous. It's outrageous, outrageous. It's big game hunting for the wealthy. Yes, so it's so upsetting in such a clear divine,

a divide between people who have absolutely worked a job like that before and the people who haven't. They stuff in Mount the receipts where they had two items taken off and they put out the fireplaces. Stuff in Mount the receipts. Yeah, I agree with all that. People, Adal, your cell phone's been going off for like 10 minutes. Yeah, I agree with all that. People. Addle, your cell phone's been going off for like 10 minutes.

Gemma doesn't have a cell phone. Let's see one more riddle before the break here. It can keep you alive. It can make you dead. It can be blue. It can be red. Enough is a word it never has said. Poison.

Blue poison, red poison. Could you read it again? Is that from Dr. Susses, the poisons you'll go? Uh-huh. It can keep you alive, it can make you dead. It can be blue, it can be red. Enough is a word it has never said. I'm gonna go with blood here.

Yeah, blue and red. Blue blood, red blood. Yeah, Tom Sallic. Uh, uh, Tom Sallic. That's very, very good. I would say blood probably has said enough. I don't think enough is a word blood. I'd like to see a scene. Yeah. Um, uh, Adel, you are a blue blood. You're sort of the shy blood when it's inside the body. And JBC, you are red blood, um, and you you too, you're much bolder and brighter and louder and you too are hanging out.

Whew, that was fun. And you gotta go right, because you gotta get more oxygen, or? Yeah, well, I'm just gonna stay inside. I don't really wanna, when I go out, I feel like I'm just different. I change it's some. Buddy, buddy, buddy.

I gotta stop you right there. That's all wrong, okay? How dare you talking about my best friend like that? First of all, oh, I'm so sorry who who's your? Blue it's you buddy. You're my best me my bestie. Oh, thank you. Thank you I'm trying to pump you up. I'm not used to anyone looking after I I'm just gonna you you're I mean Your life at the party you you go. I'm just gonna clot. I'm just gonna you you're I mean you're life of the party you go I'm just gonna clot I'm just gonna clot. No don't hey don't you dare clot okay don't you dare clot. I will I will force feed you blood thinners if you clot okay okay and look you know you want to eat a dirty little

secret. Are you think I'm the life of the party? Yeah. Inside? I am the party. Not only do I give the party life, the party lives within me. I'm both sides of that coin, okay? The party never stops. When people lower their voice and say, let me tell you something. They usually say something braggadocious, correct? I guess so.

I wouldn't know, that's the only way I know how to be. Ha ha ha. Oh, here comes White Blood Cells. I wouldn't know that's all that's the only way I know how to be Oh here comes white blood cells. Hey, hey WBC. Hey, what's up? I'm just hanging out with period blood. We're having the best time White blood cell what is going on? Hi I I gotta tell you I am hemo globin over here. Whatever red blood you and I don't work together. My sort of my jobs with blue blood.

Once in a while. I'm not really doing much, you know. You talking about my man blue blood here. I gotta tell ya. Oh, hi blue blood. I didn't even see there, whoa. No, that's fine. I'm inches from you, but that's fine.

Let me wing me. Let me wing me in for you. Please don't. This is my coworker. Please. Let me do this. Please don't. Please. Anyway, Blue Blood was just telling me one first place in a dick measuring god does. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I measured. I measured the best.

It wasn't my. It wasn't my. I was. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, it was a little cut just that me and him were running together. He was measuring me anyway. I, I. Good job measuring those penises. Something I hope every certificate I receive said. It can keep you alive, it can make you dead, it can make you, it can keep you alive,

it can make you dead, it can be blue, it can be red, enough is a word it has never said. Fire. Oh, JBC, it's fire. Yeah. If it's not blood, it's fire. that's what i've always learned from this podcast mm-hmm fire brought to you by permeteus blood

and this episode is brought to you by some other folks who aren't permeteous or blood and we'll hear from them right now Hey, man, oh, hey, man, oh, hey, man, oh, Adolfi, you are today's winner of super subscription market sweep. And you know what that means. No, you get to go down the super subscription store and grab some subscriptions off off the shelf, one minute on the clock. And then and that's what and that's what script script is that you cancel. So the one. We're good one and announcer panics.

No, so the ones you grab, this is super subscription market sweep. So this is, yes, if you don't understand, going out the aisle, right? Yes, we built the grocery store, not grocery store, subscription store. Okay. You know what? Forget it. We're not going to do this. Just use rocket money. It's so much. Yeah, no duh. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know what I was thinking. Of course. Well, announcer rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted

subscriptions. Monitor's you're spending and helps lower your bills. That way you can get more sleep to prepare for the announcer job you have the next day. I'm in the hole. It's not just an announcer that I am. I also find it this whole project. I rented a grocery store. You know, what I'm thinking. Are you ruined? No, I mean, I'm a trust fund kid, so I have a... I could kind of do this stuff all my life and I'm still fine. Well, I can see all my subscriptions in one place and if I see something I don't

want, like winning whatever the my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, like winning whatever the sweepstakes this was, I can't flip with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service, which JPC, you know I hate JPC if you're listening to this at home. He's not that hard to see. Yeah, you're talking to your friend or whatever.

I don't know, man. I mean, this was a terrible idea. It's not really gonna affect me at all though, because like I mentioned, I got more money than I know what to do with. Well, I wonder if you have over $500 million because RocketMoney has over five million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year

with over 500 million in canceled subscriptions total. Yeah, I got way more than that. Way more than that. I mean, there's all things in the buckle. I heard a whole staff. Your parents are. Are you familiar with the Smuckers family? Oh, yeah.

Your Smuckers. My family owns them. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, they're in a real jam. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

And if I had canceled my subscription to whatever sweepsticks it was, I never would have let me just undo that right now on rocket money. And goodbye to you. Hey Adults, Chapies, I heard the ad that you recorded without me. Keep my name much about. that you recorded without me. Uh, keep my name at your mouth. Ow! You pushed me. Welcome back.

Wow, it's, it feels like it's been, Aaron has it been so long since we've done an Australian accent. I feel like we should do. I want to see you see. I'm in 100 years. Oh, okay, yeah. And we're all just, it's not really seen, it's more of like a shindig. Let's all just do some Australian accents, because this is the last episode.

What do you, man? What are you doing? I don't, we're trying to help you get clean. We already got it all out of our system. No, no, I don't. I found all of the place you were hiding Australian accents around your house, okay? I told you to stand up every crevice We're helping try to help you man

Can I just it's not that I need to it's I want to I want to it's not I don't need to I can stop whenever I like I just want to feel like a Oh There's a Christmas Oh, I think they're gonna say Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, patting down your body to see if you have Australian accents in your pockets, Australian, or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or Australians have a hard time saying. I feel like there's a phrase that I love you. I love you. Well, that sounds right. They have a hard time saying,

what do they have a hard time saying? I feel like there's like anything emotionally honest, right? Like that's hard to be vulnerable no matter where you're from. I don't know, I think they have more figured out than we do. I think we leave the Australian's. I know, and I know, and I know that.

They have hooning. Okay, here's, this is from CNN Travel. Australian slang, 33 phrases to help you talk like an Aussie. Okay. Number 33, oh, interesting, reverse order. Fair go mate, fair suck of the sauce bottle, fair crack of the whip. Huh?

Number 32. No worries. Maybe you blame it. She'll be alright. No worries. Might. She'll be alright. Number 28.

Tell him he's dreaming. Tell him he's dreaming. Number 27 dogs breakfast. Okay. Number 25. Ripsnorder. I don't know if we want to do we keep going. Can we keep going?

Number 19. Toads, banana benders, Number 19, Toad's, Banana Benders, Cokies, Sandgropers, Croweaders, that can't be one phrase. That must be several terms. Number 18. Give me home amongst the gum trays. We're lots of fun trays.

I'll shape for two and I can grow. Number 18, Acher Yobo. Is that what they call October? I have no idea. Far out, Mike. Number 17, put a sock in it. That's ours no idea far out by number 17 put a sock in it. That's ours Wait a minute. I've put a sock in it. That's ours put a sock in it Hmm

So what are you trying to do here? You're trying to get these Australians all riled up and it coming after you huh? No, I'm saying you're negging them. I'm neg I'm negging them It's I'm Australian culture. Australia is so fun and cool, and they have the best, most fun accents. Oh, didn't you also see the Japanese culture's really cool and you wanted to do some Japanese accents as well? Let's do some more riddles.

Soft in the ground and hard on the table, make it into any shape that you're able. Water? Play-doh. It's similar to play-doy, it's clay. Clay-do. Wow, play is kind of the original play-doh, huh? Hmm.

Huh? Does it look like a fuck? Does it look like a fuck? Silly buddy, I think was like invented for, it was supposed to be something they're using or creating for World War II, and it was like an accidental byproduct, and they're like, I don't know,

I'm fucking kids will play with this. Make a million of them, ship them out, put them in an egg. We used to use a lot of scolpe. What? Here's my scolpe. Scolpe is like, it's like clay, but like you bake it at home,

like you can bake it in like a conventional oven, so you don't? No, you can't eat it, but it's like, it's like, yeah, it's like Play-doh, but you it's play-doh that you make it What's that? What's the recipe? You make it? What's the recipe? So you can't eat it. I'm really concerned You make it at home. It has to have a How do you yeah, it's like it's like it's like a it's like how you would like set something in a kiln Like you could make like a little bowl like you know if you were in like a spinning class or a pottery class where I you know

spinning on a wheel. Scopee! I remember Scopee! Yeah, Scopee! Scopee sounds like a kid show like a little creature like an art vark named Scopee or something. Oh my god this is unlocking so many memories used to make like little lettuce and flowers and stuff. How do you spell it? SCULPY. And it's not, you don't make the clay at home, you buy the clay and then you bake your creations in the oven to make them hard.

Wait, did I say that you make the clay? It's a product. That's what I, that's what I thought. It's scopi. I thought you meant that you but bake something and it turns into clay that you've been using. Oh, you thought you made sculpy at home Yeah, sculpy is not a product

That's why ask for the recipe That sounds like a monster in this hole together man That sounds like one of CNN's 33 Aussie phrases making sculpy at home, which means of course to you Um, I will say the The The image I'm seeing of sculpy there is a The image I'm seeing of sculpy there is a point zero zero zero one percent difference between this and Taffy this looks like Taffy

Oh, I want to play with sculpy so bad What was the sculpy? I'll get you some sculpy for next Christmas. Thank you. What was like this shapely stuff You could like it's like play though, but it was made of like little balls like it was like kind of foam dip in dots The play-doh of the future. No, I know what you're talking about. It was like a softer Play-Doh, but it was made of like little balls, like it was like kind of foamy. Dip and dots. The Play-Doh of the future. No, I know what you're talking about. It was like a softer Play-Doh. Yeah, but it's made of like little foamy balls. There's also a one-hour-sake kit. It's a foamy, softer Play-Doh.

Wow. There was a fun product where I'm gonna sound insane. Don't make fun of me. I think this was real and I didn't dream it. It was sand that I think you could sculpt or play with underwater, but then when you took it out of water, it was dry. Like it didn't, I don't know if I'm saying this right. It never got wet. It never was wet. You put it in water. Is it in your riddle right now? I might,

what do you remember this? It never gets wet. No, it's like fun foam. Maybe the little bead. Yes, yes, it's fun. But I would prefer. But what about what about the sea? It's wet. I don't know what the fuck he's talking about with that. It was like magic sand and you could like lay right. Okay, she said he put it in water. Where would you put it? Like in the sink? You play like a bowl like a bowl of water. You put it in a bowl of water. Yeah. And then you and you're playing with it and you're like, this is so cool. And then you take it out of the water and it's dry immediately. Like it never, it never got wet.

Here, and it, did you look it up? Magic sand. Magic sand. Magic sand. Okay. What's like a horse? So what about it is magic? Is it just like full of like a radio or some shit?

Like is it just the magic sand that it's like a chemical? I guess we have different childhoods, but I think a sand that ever gets wet is pretty magical to me. I know, I guess I'm a little more hopeful. I have less cynicism in my that's not true. We're both pretty cynical. Yeah. Aaron, are you? This is our first, first, this is our first Aaron's big sigh of the year. Aaron, how we do it? Plenty more where that came from, y'all.

I'm just getting warmed up. I wonder if I did, if I Googled like magic sand class action lawsuit, how many people who have like pink, creative kids. I'm like, yeah, that's a good job. Oh yeah, I definitely ate some stuff like that. Yeah, I definitely have a lot of plastics in my lungs Here's another riddle his goddess slender. He has three feet on his wide flat head

He wears a sheet. He's there when I play a melody suite I can fold him up so nice and neat an easel a music stand music stand To music stand. Whoa Aaron you got it seconds after I got it I do in a fucking amazing I'm gonna kill him I'm gonna kill a matter no that's why I do when I see a scene um uh jbc you and I are town folk of a small town uh when in setting any any town USA Aaron you are a salesman coming through time you're a music stand uh... and you're here to sell us something and maybe see us a song wow who is who is that coming up on that is a fast horse who is that riding up it's not a first time

I know anyone in town that owns a horse that fast like a slim metal guy what is this excuse me can someone please put me at the center of town It talks. Where's the mouth? We should kill it No, no, no, I'm here to change your town and make your frown turn upside down I'm gonna teach your kids music and fuck all your wives I'm gonna make it so music in your town and your wives are gonna fuck me in they're gonna like it so I'm gonna teach your kids to say

Don't worry me So lucky no Jim grab it Jim grab it. Yeah, it's been you demon was the sound just coming into your ears I from It felt like it was singing into my own brain radio station inside my head Stop me Oh, I'm bending itself holy shit D'lores trouble D'lores get away from that get away from that. I don't know. It looks like it needs help

D'lores don't come on. I'm just gonna bring it back to the my bedroom and try to fix it up Okay, this beautiful antique music standard Be a shame if it went on fuck. I mean broken Awesome Nick, I mean come on man Dolores She's obviously she's obviously having affairs What do you I don't know what you're talking about she comes home every morning at 10 a.m I don't know what you're talking about. She comes home every morning at 10 a.m. We're in the same clothes.

She was wearing the night before because she knows, you know, I'll compliment her on her dress. So she likes it. You know, she knows I like it so much. Daddy, daddy pulls on coat. Huh. A music stand just came into our house and taught me how to play music.

And now he's with mom in the bedroom. Teaching her music or... Sounds like it. I mean, the kid looks nothing like you. In fact, the kid kinda looks like a music stand. No, my son's head folds out to hold any sheets of paper and that's something that runs in my family. I just think you're into Nile, man.

I mean, look, look at me, I'm living a a happy life I know my wife fucks the music stand. I know she does. Hey, it's we talk about it We're open. We're honest. It's better for our marriage. Ladies and gentlemen. He's back in the center of town Do you want to have your kids have no musical ability? I mean, I guess my kids have music stance So I'm sure he's got a lot of this. It would be a shame if he went unfucked. I mean, as an errand gave a big, what am I doing? Sometimes, um, sometimes I hate where the riddle scene feels like tap dancing on a tightrope without a net under it. We're like, whoa, all of a sudden you have like horrible vertigo inside the scene. Does this happen to you guys? We are like, what was this?

Watch someone, I mean, we forget what we did. Watching someone tap dance on a tightrope without a net would be like, just an awful way to watch someone die. That's how all the Grayson family know they're going to go. Maybe that's how goofy goes this year. Wow. Using on a tightrope. That's what. I was raised to Chris Pratt voice by Chris Pratt Italian goofy would be fun. I was watching Italian goofy

All right, okay, it goes I Would love it if Chris Pratt got caught cast in the goofy movie like goofy was played by Chris Pratt And he came out and all the interviews I go don't worry everybody. I'm gonna do the voice normal Here we go three black whiskers on a white face Regardless of the weather they wouldn't stay together but each went about at its own pace. Clock. It's a clock. It's a man with the fuck dot mose dot. It's a man with a fucked up mose dot on his face.

Who me? Man with a fucked up mose dot on his face. Unnecessary. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue.

You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue.

You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue.

You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a morgue. You're a mor animal. I do wanna see a scene. Okay, no problem. Aaron and JPC, that's totally okay. Aaron and JPC, you're going to be narrators for a documentary on people with sort of fucked up facial hair

and it's almost in the style of David Attenborough or Planet Earth. Let's focus now on a coffee shop in Brooklyn. Yes, so my new band, it's sort of worth like jazz fusion, but like... This man is a barista. And he has a handlebar moustache. So Stephen Malcolmists meets like Miles Davis by way of Tom Waitz. As he does with every customer he comes across, he invariably turns the conversation back

to his mustache. How much work he puts into it, the effort that it takes to wax it, the maintenance, he even gives people advice on solicited of course how they could have a similar mustache. So I thought to just start waxing it in the shower and I think that's really given it some volume. You know, you should maybe do some trimming in the shower, you know, just make it keep it tight. He spent $45 on pomade for his mustache and he spent $30 on his girlfriend's birthday gift. When life gives you pom, we see his apartment, his bed, disheveled, his sheets, not existed, his mattress firmly on the floor,

but in the middle of the room. I mean, who puts the mattress in the middle of the room? But look, I have those togo couches. the middle of the room. But look, I have those togo couches. His books, unread, his records pretentiously bought in his mustache, a high maintenance problem he can hide behind. We now take you to suburban America, Ohio to be exact right outside of Sandusky. To a middle school, where 12-year-old Marcus has just started the ability to grow a must- No, no, Philmy! Don't, Philmy! Please don't, Philmy, please leave. Your dad signed the permissions to the Marcus. He said you could shave that thing on your lip, or you could be in the movie. And you chose not to shave. It's really coming in though. Not shaving makes it become in thicker next time I do shave, you know.

Nope, that's wrong, it's a myth and it's not coming in thicker. Let's ask some of Marcus' classmates how they feel specifically the tall girl classmate, how they feel about his little mustache. Dom looks sad, bad. Okay, so that's just a teacher. That was a teacher. I'm a tall girl. I'm a tall girl.

Teacher what? I'm a tall girl. Teachers can be tall girls. Boy, boy, boy, very good. I'm solicited a teacher and paid you as you pass in the hallway. Stupid shirt, bad attitude. That should be a podcast. As is teachers just talking shit on students.

That's fun, right? That couldn't be. Couldn't dip into problematic. Right. Teachers lunch. Shut it down. We made teachers logic. And shut it all down. Shut it all down. Um, well, why don't we for the first time this year, for the first time, wow, entire year, we're going to first time, this year, for the first time, this entire year, we're gonna hear a voicemail from a listener.

Of course, I do wanna stress for 2024, get us your voicemails, get them in early and often, you can call set 1-805-Rittles-1, that's really one. Rittle-1, no one. Sorry, sorry, 1-805-Rittle-1, 1-805-Rittleital 1, try and keep it under, what do we say, 60 seconds? 30 seconds. 30 seconds. 30 seconds. Fine. Keep it under 30 seconds. We're dying. This year, we're dying to do more voicemail. So send them on over. Uh, Casey, why don't we hear a voicemail theme?

In the Rital podcast system, episodes are proposed to two separate but equally important components. Riddies and Puzzies. If you say, did you make this? No. And scenes. And plugs. And voice mails. I guess that's five components.

This part of the show is mainly about the voice mails. These are their stories. Ten out of 10, fantastic. I love it. That was another submission by Ferdinand Schoen, Chris Finkie. Christopher Finkie. Thank you again for that voicemail submission.

The Law and Order voicemail theme. I don't want to be hyperbolic, but that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I think, Casey, whenever you're ready, let's hear that voice mail. Hi, Adel, JPC and Aaron Ips Aaron Keith. I'm calling mostly as an experiment and I want to see how long it takes for the voice mail and leaving currently right now to make it on to the show. Jesus Christ. I don't know. Is it going to be in 2027 or it's going to be like January, February, 2024 is my current guess. All right, I love you.

Aaron, you're doing really great. I'm so proud of you. Addle, also proud. JPC. I'm also proud of you. Okay. Hi. Hi. All right. What am I doing?

What am I doing? Okay. Enough. Goodbye. I like the enough at the end. Enough. Okay. We are recording this episode.

It didn't. It wasn't even six hours, JPC. KC cut that. Too much. So that's too much. Is the time limit. I'm going to be honest, it took me a little bit to realize that was you.

It didn't sound like me, right? It didn't sound like you. I think when they said this is Aaron Key, I was like, oh, he he, and then as they kept talking, I'm like, oh, that is really Aaron, but it didn't sound like you. I thought it was weird. Once it gets to the laugh, you know it's Aaron,

because it's really, it's, I don't know. Oh, you. Wow. I'm just kidding. it's hard to fake a laugh. It's hard for someone to like perfectly mimic someone's laugh because a laugh has to be kind of casual or else it's like a little bit forced. So hey, unless you, if you can fool me, if you could call it with your best Aaron, Keith and Brezhda, I would love if we got a bunch of voicemails, 30 second voicemails of your best Aaron, Keith and Bre Keith impression, not too mean.

Couple questions for you, Aaron. First of all, question number one, is everything going kind of all right? Or what's happening? Nope. Great question number two. The voicemail, uh, 30 seconds way off. I mean, you were like almost amended on that one. Sorry. That's for a host of the show.

Even gets a penal. And you also, you also neglected to ask a question What are we what are we supposed to do with the boys? I didn't I asked how long it would take for my voicemail to make it on to the show And a bad question bad question and Aaron's defense. I think there was a question couched within that voicemail Which was JPC? You're doing great It seemed like there's a question mark at the end of that. I wasn't sure if I was proud of him. Yeah, there was a little bit of a pause there,

which again, it's only adding to the length. I don't think we could cut the comedic pauses at all these voicemails going forward. It's adding to the length. I know someone who measures it. Yeah, the guy from the scene. Oh, man. Well, I'm glad that my voicemail made it.

And you know what? Maybe I'll leave another one one day. You know, I'll have it be 30 seconds, I'm glad that my voicemail made it and you know what? Maybe I'll leave another one one day. You know, I'll have it be 30 seconds, I promise. And you can leave that to 1, 8, 0, 5, RITL, 1, or you can, hey, if you want to mail us anything, Aaron, you can mail us something for yourself. That can be mail to hey, RITL, RITL, 6351, West Montrose Avenue, number 267, Chicago, Illinois, 60634. If you want to mail us anything at all,

and that could be a voicemail, you could mail us a voicemail. It'd be very funny for Aaron to mail us something for her because then I would have to fucking mail it back to her California, which would be just a hassle. How unwell do I feel right now? I think that's a fun activity. Aaron, you put the back of your hand up to your neck. Uh-huh. Adolf, do you have anything to plug? Uh, since it is the new year, let's just kick it off right by plugging the Patreon.

Hey, Riddle, Riddle, Patreon. Uh, we're so proud of what we do over there. We have so much fun. We've had a lot of fun guests recently. We've had a lot of, uh, episodes. I'm very proud of, um, to be part of and to, to help construct, uh, check it out. patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. There's one dollar tier, there's a five dollar tier, there's a night dollar

tier, whatever suits your 2020 NAR budget hop on over there. Aaron, anything you'd like to plug her from out. Yes, my favorite podcast is the material girls podcast. I'm on like my third relic in of all the episodes. I think a good one, a good episode to go into it is the goblin mode episode, but I love it a lot. And I think that if you listen to our show, it's a good balance for the chaos we put out into the world. I think it's nice. Us two shows together will balance out your brain. We're the poison there, the antidote. Exactly. I truly, so check that out if you haven't already. GBC, do you have a review of the show you want to read? Yes. out if you haven't already. DBC, do you have a review of the show you want to read?

Yes, and if you would like to get a review featured in a future episode of Hey Riddle Redola 2024 episode even go and give us a five star review anywhere you leave reviews. Hey, this one's from Ultra Queer. I love saying that name. Great replacement for five ants. Do not consult your doctor. If you have unmedicated ADHD, this is the podcast for you. I don't know, I can't endorse any of that, but I love it.

So thank you for writing it, ultra queer. I will say we get that a lot. I would say 99.9% of our listeners have ADHD and that point. 1% is the partners of people. I just, I'm so sorry, guys guys I just saw CNN travel just posted a new article just popped up when my browser refreshed it says here that the dad from Bluey band it it looks like he don't even pass past away. They don't know they don't know the cause of death there it looks like Chile is being held No! No! No!

Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, scroll down, did they say anything about the helicopter, the eight Rama manual? Um, it's, okay, Rama manual was eaten by, uh, uh, wasn't a helicopter, is... Look for update, look for update. Uh, update, okay, it says, uh, Rama manual was crushed when he was shot into space and landed on, what is it? Noooor, Jupiter! Noooor! Noooor!

I can't believe it. Pots forever! They'd probably say that right. Pots? I like to talk. Pots forever. We've alienated an entire cot. You're out of here.

And an entire country. Yeah, he's standing with a bicycle. And the horse is named Friday. Hey, there are dogs and noodles. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon! We do an improv, fantasy draft! You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.com. So, hey, Ronald Reynolds, by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your 7-day free trial, or the Rev. You crew for $8 a month. Any of those out of free episodes. See you there! That was a Hitdown Podcast.

See you there!