Hey Riddle Riddle - #288: Beep-o's Gotta See It To Believe It!

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

American Girl Dolls. Blink-182. Kentucky Sharks. What do they all have in common? They're all apart of some big big news. MORE importantly we're handing out some handy dandy Sandy candy with a brand new Sandbox!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifSpecial Guest: Sandy WeiszEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Gum Podcast. Of course, Friday. One, two, three, four, hey, we're the Brits. Aaron, hey, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, hey, Aaron. What? Sit down. You need to sit down. Okay. Big news. Big, big, big, big, big, big news. I don't know if you heard Aaron sit down.

Who? Jamesy, put something heavy on Aaron's lap. Okay. So, dead ass. And then I should get, and then that's my shit. And then a boop, boop, boop, boop. Perfect. Just want to make sure you don't shoot to the ceiling. I'm having a lot of fun, but what is happening? Aaron, big news.

I don't know if you've heard this. Customary to tip, just to tip a little bit. Throw a couple of dollars in the old string. I have like two pounds of pennies. I guess right up the chute, then. Aaron, I'm going to read you a news article and I need you not to scream. OK. After Barbie success, Mattel to make American Doll live action movie. Aaron? Uh oh. Uh oh. This is not the first time one

of my dancers has made someone go Kobe toast. Aaron? Her soul, I see it, it's sort of like a ghost like Aaron rising out of her out of her body, screaming, cheering. Oh, and as her soul rises, there's a... The spirit of it looks like an old, you know, farmhouse on the prairie. What's that show called? Farmhouse on the prairie. That's offensive. Little farmhouse on the prairie.

I have to tell you something, couple things. Yes. First of all, over 200 people sent me that article. Our sweet listeners go like, that's you or who I associate with American Girl Dolls, which first of all, an honor. Second of all, they need me on that set, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. We have to get me on that set.

I'm supposed to be on that set, right? And not as like a dramaturg or anything like the script supervisor, but as someone who just like hugs the dolls daily. General vibes. Dolls need hugs. I'm there for general vibes. Henry Kipson, a dolls hug. And Aaron, did you see that it's Michael Bay directing?

Don't joke about that. Don't joke about such dark things. Brian Grazer producing? Yeah, yeah. I will see it. I will see it opening weekend. You know what? We can start a campaign now. I want you guys, once the social medias come out for this episode, try to get me to the premiere of that movie. Erin, say less. Social medias of that movie come out. That's what I meant to say. This is like, you know know that kid who was like, I'm gonna start with a paper clip

and I'll trade this until I have a house. We're gonna do that, but with Erin getting on the set of American Girl Dolls, or Premier, I'm sorry. If you know anyone who knows someone, I would like to be at the premiere of this movie, please. I think let's get Erin to the premiere of the American Girl Doll movie. I think this is let it let's get Aaron to the premiere of the American Girl doll movie I think this is gonna be a huge movie not only because

It is kind of the return of Disgrace director Brett Ratner He's who are the worst he's attached to this when it's his big comeback. You're the big comeback. Nobody deserves it more Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Aaron, let's do a little bit of dream casting up top. Okay. Who are some of your for live action American Girl dolls? Right. Who's playing what doll?

Just maybe two or three. I want them to sort of get the technology where the dolls can really come to life. That's sort of what I'm hoping for. But if that can't happen- What does this mean? I think that they should cast age-appropriate people to play the dolls. The dolls are like kids. Okay, so you want to ruin the movie? No, it's not like Barbie where Barbie's an adult woman. The American girl, they're girls. Dolls.

Can't we just get Margot Robbie to do a little baby voice? Yeah, I'd be ashamed not to have her on the screen Aaron, please. That's a good point. Um, No, I think they should cast kids. Who are the kid actors nowadays? Jenny Slate. Adam Scott. I don't know how they would do this, though. They can't probably have more than one of the American girls

all in the movie because they live at different times in history. But Erin, what about, I mean, we're living in the Doctor Strange multiverse of madness at this point. So couldn't it possibly, I mean, we're living in the Doctor Strange multiverse of madness at this point. So couldn't it possibly just be that they're doing it into the sputters first, but with American Girl dolls? That would be cool. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Very possible. Uh-oh. Erin, I just, there's an update here. It looks like, and it looks like Chris Pratt is going to do them all. Oh, Jesus. And Erin, and Erin, Ratner's out, Brian Singer is out to do them all. Oh, and Aaron and Aaron Ratner's out.

Brian Singer is. Oh, no, no, no. Cut it all down. Aaron Polanski is producing. Can we save it? Can we save it? Faints in a bad way. But not the one you think.

JPC not to leave you out. JPC, why don't you switch chairs with Aaron? I need you sitting down just so you don't lie to the ceiling when you hear this hot. The chair I would describe it as hot. This news. Sorry. This might be slightly old news, but it's new to me. During a revelatory Twitter exchange the other day, Tom DeLong. Yeah, it's Twitter. It's definitely old news. Tom DeLong said that his former bland his former bland his former

182's name is actually pronounced. Are you ready for this? Mm-hmm blink 18 to What does he need attention? So we've been saying the whole time it's blink 18 to which is So we've been saying the whole time it's blink 18 to which is severely less fun to say. Is it is it it can't be a money issue. I think he's got enough of that. So it's got to be a it's got to be a no one's saying me. No one's saying my name. No one's paying attention to me.

Does he think that if we don't look at him, he'll disappear. Is that what's going on with Mr. Topp Dogg? He has reverse object permanence. Where are you? Where are you? Where am I roses Where are you? Where am I? Roses by the stairs. Is it the one with his eyes?

Is he the one with his eyes closed? Is he the one with his eyes closed? Is he the one with his eyes closed? I think so. I think that's time to launch. I think so. I think that's time to launch. I think that's time to launch.

Casey said this is like the guy who made gifts saying that they're pronounced GIFs. Like fuck off, dude. Casey? Yeah. You're gonna agree more. The world has turned and left you here It took quote my favorite man blink 18 to And just so we're not starting off with just news why don't we do you want to sit down? I want to sit down Did you have news for you? I have news for me which is for 2024

We haven't yet done this and I think it's time we do an animal parade But I feel like I want to class it up a bit. Would you guys mind doing an animal swaray? What I mind no sir T2 tattoo to to tot an owl with a Mono girl T2 tattoo to Tta A snake with a champagne flute! T-toot-ta-toot-toot-ta-ta A shark eating a vati! T-toot-ta-toot-toot-ta-ta A monkey slapping a butler! T-toot-ta-toot-toot-ta-ta

A vulture paying off the family of somebody hit with a car! T-toot-ta-toot-ta-ta-ta A horse in a corset! Animal soiree! paying off the family of somebody hit with a car. A horse in a corset. Animal Suare. Suare. Suare. Yes, okay. And all those things, Suare's aren't just fancy. There's some dirty deeds.

Butlers get slapped, families get paid off. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like an episode of secession. Yeah, exactly. Well, let me read. Here's, of course, with Animal Sue, we have to read some animal news. Here's an article for me that's upsetting me more than anything else, which is,

New ancient shark species discovered hidden in world's largest cave system. What is this? This is the plot to the Meg, right? Isn't this the whole fucking thing with the Meg? That can't be right. Yeah. This is breaking news. This is from October 13th, 2023. So was the Meg written before then?

Couldn't be. I couldn't say. The Meg was not written. A previously unknown species of ancient shark has been discovered in Kentucky's Mammoth Cave National Park, home to the world's longest cave system. The system which is located, I don't want to hear about the system, I want to hear about the shark.

Here's my thing. Famously, I'm afraid of sharks. We'll never touch them. World's oldest shark discovered in Kentucky? What's going on? I will never go in the ocean again. I'm terrified of sharks now. The last couple of years have made me absolutely just shaking in awe of their power.

Let's get what's this? Let's hear about the shark, not the cave system. Research research. Let me, well, before we go into this, Kentucky, right? You said Kentucky. Yes. It was a shark find in Kentucky. He was wearing a bowler hat.

He had a wire. Drinking a mint julep. Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee. Which one of those are oceans? I can't remember. Is North Carolina the ocean? No, North Carolina does not touch Kentucky, by the way. Researchers identified the ancient shark species

after finding several small spoon-like teeth in a cave wall. So this is a shark with spoon teeth, which hurts more than than sharp teeth. It's a soup shark. It's a soup shark. Kentucky touches seven states. Is there another state that touches more states than Kentucky? That's insane. Seven states. Well, I think I agree that New York touches us all.

Well, I think I agree that New York touches us all. Start spreading the news. BAM BAM BAM. I heard. Are you two not afraid of sharks? Well, I'm not really trying to go where they are or bother them. I think I'm more afraid of other things than I am of sharks. Okay. Yeah, to me sharks would be a silly thing to fear

because I feel like I interact with the domain of the shark on a day-to-day basis, so very little. But this is my thought, because I'm in Illinois, there are no sharks, but if there are sharks in Kentucky, then maybe I gotta start being a little more scared of these ancient sharks that live in the pipes or whatever. I do like that there's like a, it's almost like genie rules or something, where it's like you can be in Kentucky, but your teeth have to be spoons.

The sharks like, you know. Done. Do you think it was a genie rule or do you think it was a monkey paw where the shark was like, I just want to get away. And they're like, what about Kentucky? And they're like, yeah, no sharks in Kentucky. Let's go. That he goes, he shows up at his teeth or spoons and he's like, come on, man. I think it was a genie's paw.

I think let's look at the difference. I do want to see a scene. Let's see here. JPC, you're going to be a genie. Erin, you just bought this beautiful little lamp at an antique store. You just got home and you're going to be a genie. Aaron, you just bought this beautiful little lamp at an antique store. You just got home and you're polishing it, and JPC is going to try and trick you. This lamp is so dirty. Why is it so dirty?

Because I'm in it. What? Honestly, usually takes me way longer for a setup like that for me to pop out, but... Get the hell out of my house. I would love to, but points to a little ankle monitor on my ankle. Cannot go within 50 meters of the lamp. So at all times, court or door, unfortunately, genie court. Ew.

Oh my gosh, you're a genie. Yeah, I'm sorry. I get three wishes. Oh my gosh. Okay, cool. So you know the thing, I don't really have to go through it, but yes, I am a genie. Yeah, I'm sorry. I get three wishes, oh my gosh. Okay, cool, so you know the thing, I don't really have to go through it, but yes, I am a genie. I'm actually kind of hungry.

I'm just gonna scrounge. Girl dinner, do you mind if I go through the old cabinet tree here? I do, I do mind. I actually have a party later tonight, and so all this is sort of party prep. Is it a popcorn party? Kind of, I mean, yeah.

Are you here to judge my party or give me three wishes? I'm here. I can do whatever I want when I'm here as long as I have permission. And it sounds like I don't have permission to have a snack, which sucks, because I've just been in a layup for like 100 years. What year is it?

2023, 2024. I got 100 on the dot. How did I do that? Wow. Just kidding, it's because I'm a genie. I have a clock in there. But okay, whatever, let's get to brass tacks. I'll give you a snack if you grant my three wishes.

I'm gonna grant the wishes, okay? I don't bargain. But you are familiar with genies, right? Yes, genies. What do I want? What do I want? Yeah, and genies give you a wish, but also sometimes they give you the thing

that you didn't actually wish for that was part of the wish, like kind of like tricking, just so you know, I'm not the kind of genie that does that. I'm all above board. I'm all on the level. I don't do that So I can't wish for more wishes. I Mean do you want me to go through the whole thing because of course? No, you can't wish go through the whole shit That's like genie 101. Okay I'm a genie. Okay. I've been trapped in this lamp. You have rubbed the lamp and freed me from my prison

You're gonna put me back It drops all his next cards Man, oh boy. Okay. No, no, this is fine. Just picks them all up okay If you try to start up a romantic relationship with me I get to decide if I want to reciprocate but thank you Do you said you want to know all the rules. Yeah, but no, thank you on that one.

Okay. Fine. We don't, I don't need your opinion on each one of the rules, but you get the, the whole thing. No wishing for more wishes. Uh, you can't wish me to kill or hurt anyone. Um, no wishing to go, uh, back in time to, um, fix your, you know, relationship with your,

I'm looking at you, I wanna say dad, but I don't know. Jesus. Yeah, exactly, none of that either. I can't go back and save him. We can't mess with the timeline stuff, but just wishes. Can I wish for another genie to come after you? So technically I could get five wishes. How would that be five?

Well, I would get one is to wish for another genie. Oh, because you're boring one on me. Yeah. No, yeah. I could ask him for another genie too. So I guess it's sort of infinite wishes, but... No, because that's a genie chain that's also against the rules. No.

You can do two. You can do two to get five, but if you try to do another genie on top of that, that's a genie chain. I want two to get five, please. Two to get five? Okay, great. Can you get your brother here or whoever? Yes, I do. There's another genie that will come,

but I did kind of lie about the genie tricking you thing. What? The next genie that comes is gonna be hard of hearing. So he's gonna, he is not really gonna be able to hear a lot of your wishes. He's gonna have to do his best to interpret. So I would be very careful with those last three. Two more from me though.

Sure, I can't have a bite. Smart choice. You don't want to see Jeannie poop. Smart choice. A Jeannie on house arrest. Dootie, dootie, dootie. That just kind of all are. I know, Aaron, one of your wishes that you told us in secret was you wish to do more riddles Here's your first shrugs hard of hearing Gina goes, huh?

You want to play more fiddles? Holds the earth counts in rings has arms, but no face stays in one place Holds the earth, counts in rings, has arms but no face, stays in one place. Holds the earth, counts in rings, has arms but no face, stays in one place. And it's not Elizabeth Taylor. Sun, the sun? Uh, no. Yeah, the sun's arms. Gravity.

No. Holds the earth, counts in rings, big, big hint, has arms but no face, stays in one place. I give up. Counts in rings? This makes me think of the Olympics logo? Is it the... Oh, oh, oh, Atlas. No. Oh, a globe. No. A globe stand. A globe stand. A globe stand. Holds the Earth, counts and rings, has our, no face, stays in one place.

So really, really buckle down on counts and rings. And it's not starting with the hedgehog. I was going to say it's starting with the hedgehog. Is this like, okay, so it holds the Earth, is this like a map, like a rubber band that would hold the map in? No, not quite. These things really sort of hold things down on the terrestrial plane on this sort of earth surface. Oh, paperweight. Count in rings.

Well, one of those... Trees? Trees! Trees. Whatever. Oh yes, trees. Whatever. They count in rings.

They count in rings. And I do want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, you're both two trees talking about your recent divorces Thinking about like moving where my roots are What do you mean like in the ground? Yeah, oh Don't do that. Don't do that. I'm thinking about like just starting over somewhere else. I Think first of all that is a wonderful idea starting over somewhere else. I think first of all that is a wonderful idea starting over somewhere else but you gotta you gotta keep reaching towards the light you

can't just bury yourself down in your roots you know you got it you got to make the best of a bad situation. I mean you and I are recently divorced to each other from each other. I thought it was amicable though am I gonna go wrong am I gonna get a different read off of it? Amicable. I thought we were both trying to, like, you know, branch out. I thought we were both trying to- This is part of why it happened. It's puns like this. Look, you don't date- you don't marry a riverboat comedian tree if you don't want- if you don't

want jokes like this. But again, that's why we're divorced. this but again that's why we're divorced that's that's why we're divorced mm-hmm thank you all for sailing down the Mississippi with us we have a special guest you might have noticed we aren't moving that's because we have a tree growing through us please welcome tonight's entertainment the comedian tree hey look at look at everybody in the audience tonight's what a good, why did I say this? Why did I say this? This is what I was. What a good looking group of people out there.

Hey, you're barking up the wrong tree with us. Is that my ex-wife? Oh my God. Oh my God, she's in the audience. Who is that? Leave us alone. Who's she with? Is that a dentist?

Look at the teeth of that guy. Oh my God, what did I do? There's phones! Seen. Spruce Vellanche? Try to think of it right. Spruce. mile upon mile with darkness and dismay. And don't say Adel. Sleeps for a thousand years, yet in a single day,

covers mile upon mile with darkness and dismay. Is this like sand or like the sand in the desert? Maybe? It's not. It's not eclipse, it's not sand. The moon. It sleeps for a thousand years. Sounds like hyperbole to me.

It's, here's what I'll say. There's some of these that definitely have suffered thousands of years. It's not hyperbole, but most I think not most of them. I really know. Yes, Aaron, it's volcano. Wow. I'd like to see a scene. OK.

JPC, you are a volcano. Adel, you are nearby mountain that he's venting to about how he's like really angry and he's probably about to blow. Venting to? Mm-hmm. I swear to God, if one more hiker throws one of those Cliff Bar Rappers anywhere on me, I think I'm gonna blow my fucking top. I think I'm gonna lose it.

Carl, I think I'm gonna lose it. I just, from the last time you got pissed. I just got all the suit off. I was filthy I put a towel to my face and pulled it away. It looked like the shroud of turn You familiar with the shot of turn I'm a volcano. None idiot. Yes. I'm familiar with the shroud of turn Okay, the cloth that Christ wiped his brow with yeah, and it printed his face up on the cloth I'm familiar with the shadow turret okay the cloth that Christ wiped his brow with yeah and it printed his face upon the cloth I'm familiar how dirty was his face you know it's different for you mountains it's different for you mountains because you there's literally nothing that you can

I mean sure a rock slide you can kill a couple dozen of these hikers sure but you just don't you just don't have the pent up anger that I have and I wish I could be cool like you I wish I could I just can't I am a volcano. I am who I am, you know That's yeah, no, but I still get mad like I don't be reductive to my feelings, right? You're not the only person in the world with the emotions, right? Oh You I am way yesterday Oh, yeah. I don't, you, you did that. I avalanched yesterday.

You avalanched yesterday. I killed a ski, I was, there was somebody, there was a guy skiing down my armpit and it tickled and I was like, this sucks. And I just opened up some of, I just opened up my mouth and snow covered him whole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the same. What you, you are describing is the same. 135 million years ago I killed almost all the dinosaurs. But yeah, what you're talking about is the same as what I do. You think you killed, same 135 million years ago. I killed almost all the dinosaurs, but yeah What you're talking about is this is what I do. You killed so here's the thing. I'm not

You have delusions of grandeur you think you killed all the dinosaurs I sell almost all the dinosaurs. How what do you think your reaches? Huh, what do you think your reaches? million a Huh? If you pull your top right now, what do you think your reach is? A million? A million? Okay, interesting. Okay. I don't know. As far as I can see, how big you think the world is, Carl? Can't be much bigger than what we can see, right? I mean, I guess past that river over there is probably where it cuts off. I definitely got past that river. I know.

I know I killed the pterodactyl past that river. I know I did. You saw it fall? Was it it just landing it could have been landing No, it wasn't just landing it was it went down fast. I definitely hit it with ash Fuck you I held a piece of ice that wasn't cold, found a lovely crystal that wasn't old. I beheld a rainbow that wasn't in the sky, tell me what it is and do not lie. Is it a diamond? Ah, close.

That was my guess. Like a gemstone. Like a kaleidoscope? Oh, now we're talking. Okay. But it's like nature's gladioscope. I held a piece of ice that wasn't cold. A geodude.

Found a lovely crystal that wasn't old. I beheld a rainbow that wasn't in the sky. Big, big hint. Tell me what it is and do not lie. Yeah, I was going to say like an oil spill. This is like a diamond that would produce a gasoline type rainbow effect. Coal. This is a diamond that would produce a gasoline type of rainbow effect? Well, you said diamond, I said the very, very close.

You said the clavoscope, you said close. Crystal. Okay. It's like a type of crystal. A type of crystal. Sure. That produces rainbows? Produces rainbows?

Yeah. Well, like anything, any present that you shine a light through is going to produce a rainbow. Oh, sure. That produces rainbows? Produces rainbows? Yeah. Well, like, anything, any prison that you shine a light through is gonna, like, produce a prison. Wait, what was that word? What was that word? Prism? It's a prism. Oh, God. Oh, man, I'm in a prison of my own making. Is a prison of a type of crystal? Or is it like the family that crystals reside inside of?

Hey, I'll be 100% straight up honest with you. I don't mind looking like an asshole on this podcast. I thought a prison was a shape. I thought it was a type of shape. Gave up Googling this month, so I can't help. Aaron, congrats. And is it lent already? What?

Oh, sorry, you gave up Google for land of bands? What's lent? I can't. Look it up. The 90s band. Aaron, I'm so proud of you for giving your fingers a rest. Thank you, they hurt so bad. They needed it.

And they needed one. They needed it. Mm-hmm. Self-carry is finger care. Oh, make a note. What do you have to say to me? What do you have to say to me? Soundless billows, formless dances, wingless rises,

footless prances. What was that? Fart. It's a fart. Uh, you're in the, you're warm. Warm fart. Soundless billows, formless dances, wingless rises foot. What was that? A shart?

That's a warm fart. I have to listen to this riddle, JPC. Please stop interrupting. I can't make heads or tails of it if you keep interrupting with your silly answers. Okay. Okay. Soundless billows. What was that? Huh?

Huh? Soundless billows, formless dances, wingless rises, footless prances, spreading around till it can't be found. Smoke. Uh, Aaron, you're dead on it, Smoke. Wow. Good job. Good.

Good. Good job. Smoke is basically like nature's fart. Can I smoke in this podcast? This is a no smoking podcast. Why? No. Will it explode? Why? Because sometimes Sandy's kids come on this podcast.

Aaron, I have a room in my house for just the dads to go in and smoke cigars. And you're more than welcome to come in and smoke cigars with the rest of the dads in my dad's cigar room. Thank you, JPC, but I can't smoke on this podcast. No. No, this is a Norton Smoking podcast. Unfortunately. All right.

I'll just eat these cigarettes, I guess. Well, those are candy cigarettes the whole time. Yes. It is funny. Candy cigarettes, big league chew. It is funny that at some point people were like, what do kids want most in the world? Smoke a cigarette, do tobacco. Drugs for kids, drugs for kids.

Well, it's also funny too because the whole, I mean, you're not allowed to advertise smoking to children anymore, even though there's ways around that and obviously it still happens. But for so long, all this stuff that is advertising to kids, this is just adults whose job it is to get kids hooked on things like this. I remember all the commercials that I saw when I was a kid for board games and toys and shit like that. I'm like, this was a 45-year-old person

in a marketing board room being like, how do we get this 11-year-old to really want this Nerf gun? And they did a great job. But like, it's not like kids, you know, in the same way we're like marketing to kids, it's like you were going to the playground and like hearing the scuttle butt from all the kids. A lot of it is, yeah, so like easy bake oven, it's like how do

we get kids cooking or like all the baby dolls are like, let's get kids parenting early, ring pops, let's get them addicted to marriage. I remember also like Nickelodeon magazine, like the commercial for Nickelodeon magazine was basically about how to ask your parents for it. It was like, go to your parents and ask them for this thing. Say it.

Call them at work right now. I know you know the number for emergencies, call them. If they say they're busy, they're lying. Call back. If they love you, they'll get to this. You need the magazine. You need the magazine. You're a child who needs a magazine.

Shape like a shoe, moved by hand, carries four feet, but not on land. This is like a canoe. What shape like a canoe? You got it in one. This is a canoe. No. What? This is a canoe. Hey, Adel, I learned something. Swir to give.

Wow, it's canoe. Adel, the neighborhood that we live in in Chicago, I don't mind saying, Portage Park. I learned that Portage, I had no idea what Portage was as a concept. It's a breakfast sort of oatmeal. Pfft. Little mishmuff, it's a little tougher eating her porridge.

You have to eat your Portage, Mr Frodo, you won't have strength to take the ring. No, but portage, it means, I guess, the area where we live. There used to be like land between rivers, which is wild, because there's no rivers around here now. And portage was when you took your like boat out of one river and then walked it across like a part of land to the other river. That was the portage.

Yeah. Yeah. Your ported portaging. I don't know if portaging is the right way, but it's like portage a boat. Also, you knew this factoid and yet you questioned whether sharks could be in Kentucky. Oh, God, if sharks can be. Oh my God, that's how they got there.

Somebody lifted them out of the ocean and walked there as is the Kentucky. That would be fucking, honestly, that would be fucking fantastic. If you just saw, like you're driving down the highway and you saw like an 18 wheeler, but it was just like a clear glass fish tank, huge shark in there.

They're like, yeah, we're putting the shark in Kentucky. We run out of ideas about what life should be or whatever. So that's what we're doing. We're just trying things out. I don't know if this is real or not. I did see something where it was like they found a whale, like in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, not like a whale skeleton, like a recent whale. Like not yet.

A little living whale. Not living. The definitely dead, but, but not yet decomposed. And it was just like laying. I don't, again, I don't know if this is real or not. I didn't do any research. But I remember being, I was, I had taken an edible. I was looking at news and I saw that.

There it is. Yeah. Okay. All right. But how did that whale get there? What's going on? Well, I'll tell you how the well got there. It didn't, man.

You were a tip-top. You were a tip well got there. It didn't mean you had a tip. I remember I was looking at my hand. I was scrolling through my hand and I saw the wildest news article. Also, I should say listeners, if you're ever in Chicago, stopped by the actual park in Portage Park and I'd say 50% of the time you'll run into me in JPC. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially between the months of, uh, what, uh, November to March. Yeah. That's our big part. For little pieces of bread at the part of all to find them. I'm just surviving the pigeons choose to fight. Yeah. They don't need all that bread. They don't need all that bread. Aaron, what are they going to do?

They're going to explode. They eat all that bread. Let's do, we're going to do one more before we take a break here. In weather fair, my ribs I cup. In weather foul, I put them up. In weather fair, my ribs I cup. In weather foul, I put them up. In weather fair, my ribs Illa? It's an umbrella. I'm a genius. You are a genius, Erin. I'm the smartest person I have ever met.

Erin, I want to see a quick scene. It's a rainy day. You're like in a building. You're about to go outside. Everyone's just watching the rain outside of the building. But you have devised a brand new type of umbrella that you're like so excited to show off to all of these people in the building. Great day at work everybody.

What a fun day at work. I'll be going. Hope you don't look at me while I walk outside. Oh, uh... Oh, Jen, watch out. It's cats and dogs out there. Yeah, it's really coming down. We're all just trying to like, yeah, wait out the rain a little bit. I know that people around the office call my little invention silly or dangerous.

But not this one. What if you use a flamethrower as an umbrella? So hear me out. You evaporate the rain before it lands on you. Evaporate the rain before it lands on you. You might have noticed that my eyebrows are singed off. And that my bangs are singed off at my hair. You'll burn a hat real deep on your temples there. eyelashes also gone.

Jen, you didn't bring a flame thorn to work with you all day, did you? That would be a weapon. I brought a new kind of umbrella to work with you all day, did you? That would be a weapon. I brought a new kind of umbrella to work with me. And Jan, I can't express enough. The top of your head looks like Joe Pesci in Home Alone. Thank you. Don't hit on me at work, though. Go through HR.

You have to. Yeah, if you want to hit on her, go through HR, Chuck. Go through HR. Anyways, I hope you guys don't watch this work. HR will leave a love letter on Jan's desk. If you now Jan You you you say it's not a weapon. You say it's an umbrella, right? But we had three fire alarms today And the whole the whole you guys heard those all of 18 spelled like burning testing those out. Were you testing it out in the office?

Yeah Well, I'm off to my apartment the office. Yeah. Um, well, I'm off to my apartment. Here I go. Yep. Well, actually, speaking of HR, Doug did want to say he mentioned that today you swung by his desk, put your finger in his coffee and said, Oh, that's a little chilly. Use your flamethrower to reheat it and actually melted his cup melted. Yep. Yeah. Really some fumes and he has been in the ER ever since. Uh-huh. And his computer melted and his desk and his arm. Yeah, I guess we should go ahead and say he died.

Oh! I got a call that he did die, yeah. Yeah, he looked like Daniel Stern in Home Alone. I'll hear it from HR. Okay, you're supposed to go through HR. The doctors are waiting on the autopsy, but they think it could have been a heart attack, but they think it was probably induced by... Probably a heart attack a heart attack you probably are being flamethrowered well Off I go. You know what look at it. It's cleared up. It's it's wow that was quick the rain

The fastest clearing of skies I ever saw no um Well, Jen have a good weekend Well, no, oh my god.. No! Have a good one. Well... No! Oh my God, she's pointing the flamethrower at us! Jen! You know...

Calm down. Calm down. You guys are gonna watch me go outside. I'm gonna go in that fountain that's right outside our office building. You guys are gonna watch me use my new invention and everyone's gonna take me serious. Ready? Okay. One, two, three.

Skate park. Oh, there's a lot of birds. There's a lot of birds about to land on our head. Oh! Oh, God! Oh! Oh! The birds are taking the fl the flame door. Wow. They are flying away with that flame door Call 911, I'm on fire scene That's your new catchphrase call 911. I'm on fire. Yeah, I'm on fire

Speaking of catchphrases I accidentally you know how I'm sick right now. Mm-hmm I accidentally, you know how I'm sick right now? Yeah, I mean not to brag, but I'm sick all the time. Oh, that's different. That's a different kind of sickness. Well, I went to go see a show and on the way back we passed Ripley's Believe It or Not. And John said, and I was so confused and sick when he was talking, but he meant,

he was actually asking is like, how would you bring up Ripley's Believe It or Not as like a sitcom joke? Like how would you word it of like, call me Ripley because I'll believe it or I won't or whatever. So he asked that question, but I completely misunderstood the question.

And so I just thought, he was like, what's a different way of saying, like if you had to rename Ripley's Believe It or Not. And I said, Beepo's got to see it to believe it. And he went to excuse me. And I went, that's the kind of misunderstanding that is only reserved. That level of Aaron's stupidity only happens on a Hey Riddle Riddle episode. And it's the first time in a real life situation where I have been Hey Riddle Riddle stupid in real life. So which is a very specific type of stupid. Yeah, like a sickness is giving you

Hey Riddle Riddle brain in normal life. That's unfortunate. I know, and isn't that scary? And it's people out there y'all. You gotta see it to believe it. People's gotta see it to believe it. Yeah, cause I was like, I guess this is what he's asking. And he was like, excuse me. So what you're saying Erin. Who the fuck. Beepo's gonna see it to believe it. Yeah. Cause I was like, I guess this is what he's asking. And he was like, excuse me.

So what you're saying, Aaron, you're saying in 2024, if you're, if you're stupid on hero, you're stupid in real life. Yeah. So now there's stakes. This is like, uh, Freddie, this is like, uh, Nightmare on Elm Street. Yeah. The call is coming from inside the house type of thing. The idiocy is coming from inside the podcast.

And now I'll say the podcast. People can't see it to believe it. So Ripley's believe it or not. One, I think it's funny that it's said like a school kid would like, I don't know, believe it or not. Like it seems like someone's being defensive. Like I don't care, man. Like telling a tall tale.

Aaron, is Ripley's believe It or Not a wax museum? What is Ripley's Believe It or Not? It's in Hollywood, which is not a great area. To me, to me, it occupies the same space in my head as from childhood as like the Guinness Book of World Records, which is it just like curiosities? Is it just like these are like? I can't Google. So someone else has to. I think so. I think Guinness Book of World Records is like curiosities? Is it just like these are like, I can't Google. So someone else has to know.

So I think Guinness Book of World Records is like, um, well, one, it's it's I don't know. I feel like a lot of people don't know this, but at the same time, I feel like when I don't know, again, the World Records is was created by Guinness, the brewery, much like the Michelin guide was created by Michelin tires. Michelin, I think Michelin guide was created by Michelin tires to I think Michelin guide was created by Michelin tires to get people to travel around more to use more tires to wear out their tires. I don't know if Geddes made this for like better pub

conversations so people would drink longer debating whether the sailing was real. I would love it if better pub conversation was important to get. Like they were like, our beer is fine, but the quality of the conversation and the pubs is falling off I don't know who Ripley's is so I don't know who started this now this I can help you with Ripley is the dinosaur bad guy from Metroid. Oh But I think we're I think Dennis is like legit

Records where it's like someone actually did this someone grew their nails out this long and we have Yeah, some they sent one of their scouts down to like measure and actually document it I think Ripley's believe or not is more like hearsay and more like Yeah, more like this could be a lie. Yes tall tales and big fish and yeah feels more like PT Barnum Like it's more like this is like a Yeah, it feels more like PT Barnum. Like it's more like this is like a, like a mermaid. We have a mermaid skeleton or something like that. It's basically, I think it's modern day side show

paired with like cabinet of curiosities. Yeah. God, I love when we figure out what something is by not looking into what it is. That to me is the perfect way to get information. That's just being a man. Yeah. Spin your wheels until something sounds right.

Talking until you feel confident and then just move on. The wheels are the penis. That's what every boy's father tells him. Okay, we just got an email from Michelin. They're terrified that wheels are their penises. Would the Michelin man be any more terrifying if he was made out of beacons? No, that's a lateral move.

A man made a penis? Adel, do you have another riddle? I do. Oh, good. Tis the work of one's hands hangs as high as one's head, tells of a place at a time, though never a word, be said. Clock. Not a clock, but you're not too far off.

What was that? Clock. Hands though. Tis the work of one, tis the work of one's hands hangs as high as one's head, tells of a place at a time, though never a word, be said. JPC, did you say clock? I said clock, I said clock was clock. Is it like a photo? Aaron Blazinghot.

A mirror, a picture, a painting. It's a painting. It is the work of one's hands. Hangs as high as one's head. I'd like to see a scene. Wow. Ss. JPC, you are a security guard at a museum.

And Adel, you are convinced that a painting just winked at you. Excuse me, Excuse me. Excuse me. Yeah, I'm just going to tell everybody 10 minutes left in the museum visiting ours today. Okay. Is that your is your name tag?

Correct. Is Frank? Yeah. Uh, yes. Is that right? Okay. Yeah. Um, I don't know.

I don't know how to say this. I just, um, I was in the modern wing and Okay the The four Marilyn Monroe's the four Marilyn Monroe's by the soup guy the soup guy the four The Pittsburgh soup guy by the soup guy The guy! Warhol! Warhol! The four Marilyn Monroe's all just wake at me And I don't know if that's part of it. I don't know if this is Like immersive or it's not it that shouldn't happen. I do have to ask just because of the way that you're dressed.

Have you have you taken some drugs today and it's OK. I'm I'm you know I'm not the way that I'm dressed. I'm sorry. Our Trader Joe's tote bags not pants anymore. It's not the content of your clothing. It's just that they're all on backwards. It's the way that you're dressed. Remember Luther King? Listen, I...

It looks like you had a dream of what you wanted to wear today and you put this on instead. I'm a fashionista or a maxinista to be... TJ Maxinista. Is Marshall just the same as TJ Max? Anyway, we don't have time. I just ask because a lot of people who have experiences in the Warhol exhibit, it's because they may be on some drugs, a pot, some ketamine, some more stricolize, or something like that, and I just wanted to make sure that that's not the case.

And if it is the case, that's fine. That's probably what happened to you. All of those are in my system, yes, but I stabbed the painting and it started bleeding, so... the painting and it started bleeding so... Okay so yeah now we did get a call of someone who wandered into the second floor bathroom and said I've never seen so many war holes and then started stabbing little holes inside of the stalled doors. Was that... I'm putting two and two together they're matching the description of man wearing traded droves bags as pants that's... No two and two together they're matching the description of man wearing traded rose bags as pants that's that was you as for

Okay, man, I saw the documentary Ghostbusters 2 I know what paintings can do when they come to life Okay, I'm gonna level with you You're one of the coolest guys have ever ha ha ha thank you finally the coolest fucking guys have ever thank you The museum closes at this point in like eight minutes Why don't we do this? I'll close it down. I'll let everybody else out. I'll let you spend Night museum and the museum, okay? And if if the drugs that you have told me you are on you are actually rolling on you're gonna have the time of your life Oh my god, so you're saying we could Run through Sunday in the park. We could eat at the night hawks. We could

I'm going home. I have a wife and a family I just want to give you this experience because I thought that this would be fun and cool for you I'm a lock the doors from the up what you do had You had oh, they're inside a painting now whistler's mother. That's my wife Yeah, yeah, this is right for you. Blue boy. That's my son. Munk's cream is my other son. I'm gonna do this right for you.

He's being chased. He's being chased. And why don't you actually, why don't you do this? Go ahead and just look off into the distance. Look at that painting way, way at the end. You see it? Way down there. Turn your head. Way down there.

Yeah, you see it. You see it? Oh, it's a beautiful, it's lilies. It's a bunch of water lilies. Wow. Beautiful water lilies. Way down there. Yeah, you see it? You see it? Oh, it's a beautiful, it's lilies. It's a bunch of water lilies. Yes, lilies. Beautiful water lilies. Think about that. Wink.

Focus on that. They just winked at me. The lilies, like, they'll... Oh, no. Go talk to a man. Go talk to him. I've seen. It's gotta be a pretty boring job to be a security guard at a museum.

You might as well have your own fun. How many do you see I think you nailed it how many? people who are High go to museums because I feel like it's a it's a higher percentage than you think Yeah, I feel like people take edibles and then go to stare at paintings feel to high people Yeah, old people some grandchildren and high people What's when you go to a museum? Do, are you arms folded in front of you? Are you hands behind your back and the small your back to show that you're

like being thoughtful? Are you fist on the chin? I think I'm a hands behind my back. I think I'm a hand behind my back so I can feel thoughtful. Yeah. Cause if you, if you have your hands crossed, it feels like you're, you don't get it. You're signaling to other people around're, you don't get it. You're signaling to other people around you,

you don't get it. If your hands are behind your back clasped, then people are like, this guy knows. This guy knows exactly. He's really contemplating what the artist is saying. Aaron, what are you doing? And I'm like, when I'm walking around, I'm like, monne, monne, monne.

I'm like saying, artist. Take such a big deep breath in when I see a picture and then burst into tears and then just stare, like, nodding at it, like, oh my gosh, this has changed my life. Yeah. That's a good move. That's a good move.

And I don't give a shit about paintings. Boring. Boring. Art is nothing to me. Well, art is nothing but ads are everything, so let's take a quick break. We'll hear from some ads and we'll be back with more art. Right before eight. Right before eight.

Hey, Adel. Hey, Adel, I got a bone to pick with the one of you. Wait a second. What's going on? EIJPC? EIJPC? Oh, good. For a second, I thought that the guy who knocked me on the head

real hard before he started recording, I thought maybe there was going to be some effects from that, but it seems like everything is fine. I'm just here with my two Addles. Yep, I clone myself. I ate this sheep on the menu. It said, sheep a la dolly? It was so good. And when I ate it, I split in two. Well, anyway, Addle and Addle, I got a bone to pick with the two of you, because I told you that I wanted to kind of kick off 2024 by picking up a new skill.

And I thought, why not learn a new language? And you told me, go down to the seashore, look for one of those guys with the big pinchy claws, pick them up, put them to my ear and let him whisper a new language to me. Well, I got my ears pinched to high heaven. Oh, no, I said call a cab or sign up for Babel. Okay, and what I did was... I think he was going for Krabble. Oh, I missed that part.

Yeah, no, it's fine, it's fine. Oh, okay, so what I should have done to be a better me in 2024 is use Babel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works and not have it crab Oh, okay. So what I should have done to be a better me in 2024 is use Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works and not have it crab was a secret to me at the sea shore. Yeah, one in five Americans or two out of two adults have learned a new language on their bucket list, JPC. If that's you or another JPC that might appear later, make 2024 the year you finally check it off the list with

Babel. Yeah, don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or thousands of dollars through a crab who promises to teach you spells or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. Babel's quick, 10-minute lessons are designed by over 150 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little... I'll get this... as three weeks. Trace weeks, olah, komotayamo, miyamo, adal, miyamo, adal. And as you can see, Babbel's designed by real people for real conversations like the one

that we all just witnessed. And Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real-life situations and delivered with conversation-based teachings so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Salaamu alaykum. Alaykum wa salaam. And Babel's convenient courses have actually helped Adel and I, it doesn't seem like it, learn real life conversation skills.

I love it because it is, it's like you can do it every day, it's quick, it's, you know, 10 minute lessons, it's not overwhelming. I'm currently trying to pick up Spanish and it's okay. It says that you can do it in three weeks. It's okay if you don't do it in three weeks, just so everybody knows. It's totally fine. It's not like there's two of you.

Hey, JPC, Adelai have a little secret for you. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now get 55% off your Babble subscription, but only for our listeners at babble.com slash riddle. Adel, do you mind if I, yeah, go ahead. Get 55% off at babble.com slash riddle. Adel, do you mind if I, yeah, go ahead. Get 55% off at babble.com slash riddle spelled B-A-B-B-E-L. Dot com slash riddle. Rules and restrictions may apply.

Now come to think of it, that guy that hit me in the head right before we started recording did look an awful lot like that crab from the beach. You paid this guy a thousand dollars? Was he a king crab? At least? Ha ha ha ha ha. Aha, it's me.

The villain from the tick chair face. Sound like Dr. Chameleon. No, it's chair face and I'm here to tell you about square space. It's chair face talking about square space. Oh, okay, okay. Is that fun? I'm having a good time. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. It's chairface talking about Squarespace. Oh, okay. Okay. Is that fun?

I'm having a good time. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I thought it was going to be Dr. Chameleon. And then so I'm relieved. It's me, Dr. Chameleon. No. No.

But I still use Squarespace even though I've unzipped to a different, I'm still using Squarespace. Dr. Chameleon? Dr. Chameleon. That's me. No, you're right. It is me, Dr. Comedian. Dr. Comedian. That's me. No, you're right. It is me, Dr. Comedian. You use Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand.

Squarespace, the one that makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with the audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all in your terms. Dr. Comedian, a new canonical character. That's something something you use? That's right, I mostly use their online store. When I sell my t-shirts, 10 cc's of chuckles. You can sell your products at an online store whether you sell physical, digital, or service

products. Squarespace has the tools you need to start selling online. Where's everybody from? Where are you from, sir? Around here, local. Can't do much with that. Well, hey, speaking of something you can do much with, Squarespace has an Asset Library where you can upload,

organize, and access all your content from one place. With the new Asset Library, you're able to manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace platform. For instance, I have compiled all of the known recordings of Dr. Comedian here in our Asset Library. I'm going over this now. the known recordings of Dr. Comedian here in our asset library. I'm going over this now. Wait a second, Dr. Comedian, are you Brad Garrett? That's right. Everybody loves Raymond and everybody hates Dr. Comedian. I like them.

I'll be playing at Chuckleberry Finns in Philadelphia, PA. Wow, Chuckleberry Finns. You know what? We could go in our Squarespace store and make custom merch for Chuckleberry Fins. We could sell it, create a passive income stream that engages the audience and scales our brand. Brad, I don't know if that's something you're interested in scaling your brand. It seems like your brand has been

kind of falling off as of late. I am definitely interested. Plus, when you design your products, production, inventory, and shipping are all handled for you saving you time and money. So head to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code RIDDLE. But don't just take it from me, Brad Garrett playing Dr. Comedian, playing Dr. Chameleon,

playing chairface. Take it from JPC I can't endorse anything that Brad Garrett dr. comedian dr. chameleon squared oh god I so close I was so close I don't know this man this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Oh, hey JBC, it's me, American Folklore Hero Paul Bunyan. I just wanted to tell you about BetterHelp. I don't know if you know, but Babe, my Blue Ox. Oh yeah, Big Blue Ox. Big Blue Ox, he quit.

So I was kind of bummed out, but BetterHelp has been helping me through moving on from Babe the Blue Ox. Oh, Paul, it was an employment thing. I thought you were friends or something. Oh, it's very complicated. Great. And I don't, and that's cool. And I don't need to know anymore, but oh man, that's, that's a bummer, but I'm glad that you're using BetterHelp and using online therapy to kind of process your feelings, because honestly, friendship breakups, or I guess this is an employee break up, can be

just as devastating as like a relationship breakup. And you know, JPC, around New Year's, we get obsessed with how to change ourselves instead of just expanding on what we're already doing, right? Like, you know, moving boulders and demolishing mountains or whatever it is I do in my stories. Maybe you finally get organized, organize one part of your house or your life and you wanna tackle another or maybe you're taking supplements every morning

like Babe was eating full artichokes every day. And now you wanna actually eat breakfast too, you know? You know, Paul, I just think it is so great for you to be embracing online therapy. I know that I, JPC, have used online therapy in my life. I find it so convenient. I love talking, having that instant connection with my therapist. I don't feel like I drive to a place, sit in a waiting room.

And so often in our society, people like you from hundreds of years ago are resistant to this type of technology. So I'm really glad that you are embracing online therapy. Yeah, absolutely. It's hard to hold my phone because how big I am, but I'm not a Luddite, I do enjoy technology. Well, there's nothing wrong with a Luddite. So actually their political message was pretty impressive.

So if we all take a minute to take the word Luddite out of our vocabulary as a dirty word, I think we'll find. That's not really the point of this, because the point of this is if you think of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists in time for no additional charge. Celebrate the progress you've already made, visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your

first month that's better help H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle oh hey look who's back oh babe I love you sorry it's not babe the blocks it's jellygreen giant my uh my partner you're gonna want to make yourself scarce little human yep I'm out of here I'm getting outta here, see ya! Hey, brr, brr, brr! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr windmills what's that guys jbc you know this book is it zordon that's like the point inside the body zordon no wait it's sandy sandy who is this guy

writing up to us can you see oh no the guy is the sandy oh the horse is writing sandy the horsey they give zoltar from from movie big? Yeah. Okay. I was thinking of Zordon from the Power Rangers. So I said the right thing. But Zoltar wasn't big. So we got to give Sandy one to win one. We got to give him his win. You know somebody had to feed that Zordon.

So anyways, it's good to see you. Good to see you. It's great to see you guys. How you been since I saw you last? Any news in the world of outside the sandbox? Good, bad, and sick, and you have to catch with what? Good, bad, and sick. Guess. We're all good.

One of us is good at coughing, one of us is bad at coughing, and one of us is sick. Sandy, let's get this saddle off you and why don't a saunter or trot on over to some riddles. Yeah. Well, I don't have to trot it over. You're the one who's doing the trotting. I got all my riddles ready to go fired up in this sand cannon of puzzles. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. Blasted in a sand cannon. You're going to get sand blasted. I also like either one is going to do the trotting. That's a cool thing to say to a person. I don't love that to be honest, but we're just going to let it fly. I'm gonna get sound blasted. I also like you the one who's gonna do the trotting. That's a cool thing to say to a person. I don't love that to be honest,

but we're just gonna let it fly. I don't know why a horse is riding me. Yeah, keep telling people that. His name is Friday, get out of here. Let's go back to this cannon. This is the one where I'm gonna give you a sentence and leave two blanks in the sentence. The blanks need to be filled out by the name of a musical artist and then

a song made famous by that artist. The order you have to is up to you to figure out. So for example, I'll give you an example that we can work out together. Whenever Betty White's Golden Girls character writes a letter, she blanks it with a blank. She's a kiss, she kisses it. She seals it from a kiss from a rose. Yes, yes. Nice, kiss from a rose. Oh man, I'm gonna be so bad at this, I can't wait.

I remember I was gonna be in the movie. I think you were pretty good at this last time, Erin. You were really good at it. I don't know. And I don't think I ever got one last time, but I remember I loved't wait. I remember. I think you were pretty good at this last time, Aaron. You were really good at it. I don't know. And I don't think I ever got one last time, but I remember I loved doing these. These are very fun to do. They used to be a blanche in Florida, lives with me.

I've been to that for his song. You got the first blast. You're doing great. Let's go on to the next one. As the story goes, Blank was in a blank to whitewash that fence, so he enlisted his friends to help. Tom Sawyer, rush, Tom Sawyer. Rush, wow!

Neen, neen, neen, neen, neen, neen, neen. Oh my gosh, I hadn't even started thinking yet, Adel. That was so bad. New Tom Sawyer, white, white fence! Oh, Aaron, you don't wanna think about these riddles. It's too much fun. Just stay over there. I'll think about the riddles.

It's way too much fun. You wouldn't like it. That's how he got us. That's how you got your ass on the riddle podcast and begin with. Yeah. This whole thing's a big Tom Sawyer bit. Great job. Addles and Raptors above the church. Just looking at that on us. Now, just to remind you guys, both of those were pretty literal on the nose.

Some of these are going to be more like homophones. I won't tell you which it's up to you to figure it out. The woman walks. The next one's going to be a homophone. Easy. Easy. Excuse me. Am I that predictable?

No, maybe we'll see. Yes, I am. He's changing it. He's changing it. Now these are written down. I can't change it. I I have committed the woman walked on her boyfriend cheating and said, blank timing bastard. I'm moving to a place you'll never find me blank.

To. Two boys, two men timing me. The woman, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, have no names. Well, that's what I was going for, where the streets have no names. I'm moving to a place where streets have no names, so you'll never be able to find me. That's how you'll never be able to find me, you two timing bastard. OK, got it.

And it'll be a beautiful day. Disco Tech. Uh huh. OK. Octung, baby. Oh, I should have included Octung, baby. That would have been better. Yeah, Octung, baby would Oh, I should have included Octung, baby. Maybe. That would have been better. Yeah, Octung, baby would have made that better.

All right. If you can't get your hair to lay blank in LA, it's probably because of those blank winds. If you can't get your hair to lay blank. Black, blue, black. It's probably because of the blank wins. What are the wins called in LA? You guys, Erin, you would know Santa Anna, Santa Anna, Santa Anna, Santa Anna, Santa Anna, Carlos.

I can't get my hair. You can't get your hair to lay. Car. Smooth. Smooth. Santa Anna, Santa Anna. Oh, man. That one's really good.

Which by the way, thank you. Thank you. Those wins are now legally need to be referred to as Santa Anna featuring Rob. Rob. Rob. Give me a trim. Give me a trim, make it flat or else. Now I don't know because it's Rob something

and now I don't. It's Rob Thomas. Rob Santana. Rob Thomas. Right, it's the honor of Wendy's. Mm-hmm. That was so good. That one was's. That was so good. That one was.

Fantastic. What magazines did what magazines do I subscribe to? Blank. Blank face Newsweek, Rolling Stone and all the rest. This one's hard. I can't even figure it out. Okay. News face is a blank face.

Well, no, we don't need to guess face, but face is, is there a magazine in the ins and face? Let me rephrase this. Okay. Okay. Because I read it. I wrote this a while ago and now I realize what I was doing. Starting over.

If you can't, sorry. What magazines do I subscribe to blank, blank face face Newsweek Rolling Stone and all the rest. Blank face. In your. It's gotta be in your. In your. Say it's faster. In your. In your. In your. In your. In your. In your face. In your face. In your face.

Is it sail away? Sail away. No. That's not sail away. I can't think of any any song in your face. Well, one of them. Pure moves. No, did you journey to something? Is that that's it's got it's got it's got a magazine title in it. Highlights. So it would be like. I wonder with the ocean and then it goes.

National Geographic, that's sung by India. National 17 Cosmo. Bunger with the ocean and then it goes That's song by India national 17 What's that magazine so I subscribe to only time will tell that's that's her song only time the song is called only time And the band is in you in your face this week rolling stone That one's great as well. All right, I know you I know you're doubtful about why we went on this treacherous All right. I know you, I know you're doubtful about why we went on this treacherous blank, but blank that will get to our destination. Journey, don't stop believing. Oh, you got that.

Wow, Adel's so good. It seems like you're vegan sarcastic. Aaron, he's vegan sarcastic. No, he's not. Is this helping? It's helping me. Kind of. Yeah, we're all thinking of it.

On October 3rd, 2003, Roy Horn looked into the blank and misread it. But for 17 years after he was a blank. Crystal Ball, this is dark. Okay, this is dark. You know who Roy Horn is? Roy Horn. In October 3rd, on October 3rd, 2003, Roy Horne looked into the blank and misread it, but for 17 years after that, he was a blank. Sandy's like a dark tower character.

Is Roy Horne the guy that sat in the corner and ate a bunch of pie? Yeah, he put his thumb in it. Put his thumb in it, right? Roy put his thumb in porn. Roy had a very famous partner whose name is much more distinguishable. Cher. Very famous partner whose name is much more just extinguishable. Share.

Roy and Roy. Roy, why does this name sound so? Sigmund. Sigfried. Sigfried. And what happened on October 3rd? Two thousand three days that shall live in infamy. Mald.

Correct. We got Mald. Correct. So he looked into the what? Pearl Harbor. I have the tiger. Oh. Yes he did, but for 17 years, he was a.

Asia. Magician. No one remembers who was saying I have the tiger. Do you? Oh, hold on. Survivor. Survivor. That's right. Survivor.

He survived for 17 years. Do you know that he survived after that attack? He died in April 2020. Oh, geez. Yeah, I remember he got mauled, but he did not, he did not die. He did not die. He was a survivor. Yeah.

Look, I gotta be honest with you, people shouldn't know tigers. Even if you're a magician. They should not sleep with tigers, which is what they did. I mean, yeah, they, they, they, yeah. Oh, I was riding a great white shark right now. Okay. It's, first of all, it's riding me. It's not a tiger shark.

Yeah. No tigers. It's a great white. Sorry, sorry. Totally fine. Um, Green Bay can also not Green Day. Green Bay can often be found out on the, sorry. Green Bay can often be found out in the blanking their green and blank uniforms.

Packers, packing. I should just say the packers. The packers can often be found out in the blanking their green and blank uniforms. Lambo field, Lambo, semi- The skin. Green and what? What's the other color?

Gold, yellow. Yellow? Cold play. Oh, yellow, cold play. It was a yellow. Out in the cold. Play. the green and what's the other color gold yellow yellow yellow oh yellow cold play they're out in the cold playing their green and their green and yellow uniforms I put diamonds hold on a city hold on we have more cold place on to say I'm sorry can I just say when football players get hit nowadays they get a rush of blood to the head. You can't. Yeah. No, that's probably true. Right. Yeah. I put diamonds on my shoes like Paul Simon said,

but then the cobbler asked me, what's with all these blanks embedded in your shoe? Blank me Ruby diamonds. Is it another? Ask them Neil Diamond. I'll reread it. Yeah. Nine inch nails.

I'll I put diamonds on my shoes just like Paul Simon said, but then the cobbler, you know, the guy who fixes my shoes, he asked me, what's with all these blanks embedded in your shoe bottom. Blank. Me? Gems. Gem and holograms, fuck me. You're close. Gem and holograms. Gems with all these blanks.

Jewels, foolish games. Jewel. What did he say? Jewel, don't. Blank me? Is it? He says blank? It's a long thing he says.

Who will save your soul? Who will save your soul? He's a cop. He's a cop. He's a long thing he says. Five will save your soul. Who will save your soul? He's a cop. He's a cop. He's a cop. Oh my God. This is honestly, let's just take a moment. This is the best role that's ever happened.

Oh, that one was really good. Yeah, that one was good. That one was good. I should have waited, but wait till you hear my last one for this segment. It's gonna be even better than that one. I am calling that shot right now. He's looking around the room panicking.

All right. Here we go. This is not it. There's a few more. If you want to achieve blank, ignore all worldly possessions and desires and blank. Nirvana. Never mind. Nirvana. Is they have a song in Udero?

Those are album names, I think. Oh. If you want to, wait, can you say that one? Where are my clicks? If you want to achieve Nirvana. Weezer. Ignore all worldly possessions and desires and blank. Let go.

And what's the Nirvana song that's not, smells like Teenspirit? Yeah. Hey Wayne, the black hole part. It's about being yourself while the song's not, but this concept is about being yourself and nothing else. Oh, oh. Just... Creek. Just arrive with no other preconceived notions.

Bare naked ladies. Be here now. Oasis. Just be here now. Oasis, Bear naked ladies. Be here now. Just be here now. Oasis be here now. Be here now. Come as you are. Come as you are. How did I miss that?

Come as you are, real call me by your name. Hey, I just met you. This is crazy. Come as you are. I got three more. We think we can do it? Yeah. You I got three more we think yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll go so quick if you're The blank you may be tempted to say blank to anyone who matches you on hinge I'll repeat it if you're the blank You may be tempted to say blanked anyone who matches you on him if you're

the prince you may be tempted to say I don't fuck you Lisa or something he's got a bunch of songs like that right I will say the first blank is five words if you're the song title you may be tempted to say band name if you're the I'll get over you because I'm the king of wishful thinking. Can you get forward? Who's six? I don't know. It's a great fucking song. Truly fucking awesome song.

Is it toad the wet's bracket? Probably. Uh, if you're the go, go west. Man, I would not have made a go west reference. That's a that's a hard one. Yeah. But now you got to make it make it work. Uh, no, it's not King of Wishful Thinking.

Um, if you're the. Uh, boy, oh boy, it's a five words. OK, let's get the let's get the let's get the band first. Get the band. How many what's my like on the band? It's one word and it's a very, very short band name with a very very generic name. Yes You got it. You got a match box 20 on hinge You would say what if you were very desperate you would say what to any please?

Yes, yes You think you think the three of us know a 70s Prog Rock song? You're gonna love the rest of this list. Oh, no. All right, fine. So you guys did not grow up on class of rock radio in the 90s like I did? Okay, fine. The answer is you are the owner of a lonely heart.

Oh, that's yes. Oh, wow. I know that song. I mean, I know the song, but I never would have guessed that. Yeah. Yeah. My brother once did a, like, a Who's on First sequel sketch. He wrote a sketch that was sort of like a sequel to Who's on First. It was like a concert festival lineup of band names that are also just generic words,

like yes and the who and when. Oh, yes. And them. That was really great. I said when, like, that's a band name. That's like the the... I'm asking. Oh yeah. And them, that's really great. I said when, like that's a band name, that's not me. I'm asking you. The Bush. Yeah.

All right, two more. If Blank Bluth takes over the family business, he'll have done it with the influence of a successful and thoughtful blank. Joe Buster. George. George Michael. George Michael.

George Michael. Faith. He'll have done it with the influence of a successful and thoughtful. Wham wake me up. Let's talk about sex. Successful. What are some George Michael songs? George Michael song. What the fuck freedom. Freedom.

Freedom. So the freedom album. Freedom 99. 90. He'll have done it with. We are So in the 1998. Freedom. Ninety nine. Ninety. He'll have done it with. We are really, we are really. I will be your father figure. Father figure.

Father figure. Father figure. I'm horrible. Father figure. Oh, I'm sorry. No, you. That really brought us down. That's a terrible song.

I had a hard time with a, trying to fit in, let's talk about sex with that one. Yeah. Because there was a lot of that on the show, but I should have tried harder. Okay, last one, speaking of, I get such a hard on for Greek mythology and every time I read those blank, I blank my pants. Every time I read those.

Stories. Iliads. That's another long title that is a forward title. Come and feel the noise. I get such a hard on for Greek mythology, and every time I read those song title, I band name my pants. Those books, a plenty.

Cream. Those tablets, cream is the band. Oh no, so it is 70s. It's another 70s, guys, it's another 70s, Progracum. Oh God. Layla. Yeah, what's a, truly what's another 70s prograc. Oh, God. Layla. Yeah.

What's a white room? Truly what's another fucking creams are. Oh, can I mix white? You know, mix. I was walking Egyptian. I thought about playing the answer cities, especially this one, but I wasn't sure you guys had the rights for all that. So I gave it up.

We only we have the rights for most of Clapton's stuff. But everything he did with cream, we just don't have. We're working on it though. Yeah, he's an absolute dick when it comes to getting the rights to that stuff. I think he's like the only person who's in the Hall of Fame for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame four times. Really? He's also in the football hall of fame.

The Yardbirds, Bluesbreakers, Eric Clapton solo and Cream, I think. Bluesbreakers, maybe. He's yet another then Cream, I think. Bluesbreakers? Maybe. He's yet another band. He had like L. Wood, Jake. Derek and Dominic. Do. Do. Do.

Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do.

Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do.

Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do.

Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. tail of brave Lucis. We're sorry. I said the alien, the, the alien, tales of the brave Iliad. All right. Well, but you do yourself a favor and cue that up and Spotify when you're done. I took a history of rock, bang or a never heard of that fucking song. So.

Well, famous Greek author, James Joyce, of course, wrote Ulysses. Uh, Sandy, what have you written lately? This set of puzzles. Okay. Fair enough. I appreciate it. You're rolling. Well, what else have you read and where can people find you? Well, I'm sorry to bring us down on such a forgettable piece of music, but I truly think you guys should look it up. All right, signals.fun, that is my newsletter and community where you can join and throw me a few bucks every month, get a few extra perks like joining my Discord.

That's at signals.fun. Also, mysteryleague.com is my business. That's where you go to find me for corporate team building or any other kind of puzzle stuff that you want me. That's my job. That's what I do every day. And I would love to do more of it. And for more stuff, you can go to Instagram

where I post prompt mantos. Those are at Mystery League on Instagram. Those are little games I play where I put together two phrases and make an image out of them using mid journey and then have you guess what it is. So for example recently I did one with Chris Rock and Rocky Horror Picture Show. So we got a picture of Chris Rock as Frank M. Ferner. Oh sorry. Poo-dee Tim? Poo-dee Tim Curry. I was thinking something else. Poo-tee and Tim Curry. That absolutely works something else. Hey, and it. Poutine win Tim Curry.

That absolutely works. And just just for another little plug to hiring Sandy for doing your team building, we are an example of a team that has never hired Sandy. So if, yeah. So if you want to, if your team, you want to operate like this, maybe give Sandy a call. Yeah, right. When I do team building stuff,

it is way more thoughtful than the shit I put on. I'm just gonna say. Well, Sandy, you're the absolute best. Thank you so much for everything, but we do have to let you go, so we're just gonna melt you back down into sand. I believe we're going to cream him back down into sand. Gross. Yep. Thank you for coming. Please come back down in this hand. Gross. Yep.

Thank you for coming. Please come back. We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. You're forgiven. Goodbye. Well, now that Sandy's gone, let's do plugs.

And we'll start with me. And I'm going to plug the Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon. Wow. Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. You can get a one week free trial. Hang out for a little bit. Just pay for one month maybe. Hang out. Listen to all the episodes. Binge them. All my favorites are over there. So I'd recommend checking that out. Adel, anything to plug?

Yeah, I want to plug some recent appearances, either end of 2023 or beginning of 2024. I was on a podcast called That's What I'm Talking About, delving into the rings formation, how apropos from this episode. Wow. Delving into the formation of the rings. I was learning all about that. Very good time. I also was a guest on the video game podcast, Sights Unseen.

Talking about some of my favorite video games. And I did a recent episode of the podcast, Tell Me About It, which I host with Josh Gondelman, about slam dunks. So if you want to learn more about slam dunks, through the lens of Josh Gondelman, please check out tell me about it. JPC, do you have anything to plug or a review to read? I got nothing to plug, but I do have a review to read. And if you want to get a review feature on the show, just go leave us a

five star review, wherever you leave reviews, I might pick yours. Hey, this week I picked the Buffy Bot, the Buffy Bot writes this podcast is the bar to pass. I recommend this podcast to everyone, including people I've tried to date. Most either never listened or must have hated it, but my partner now listened to the whole bat catalog. And that's how I know we're a good fit. Thanks for the litmus test. Bye forever. Wow. I cannot recommend that, uh, or the negative recommendation of that enough. I think recommend that, a negative recommendation of that enough. I think if you, I think this is a podcast that's fine to share with friends,

family, people in your life, but if you've got a significant other who's never heard of this podcast, you hide this. Oh, hide it, hide it. This is shame. This is a shameful listen. In between the mattress and the box spring, maybe in a shoebox in your closet,

out in the woods somewhere, dig a hole out in the woods. You're gonna say you're listening to this American life. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Repeat after me. Then you're gonna say, honey, what are you listening to? And you're going to say sports scores. That's it, sports scores. And fresh air with Terry Gross.

Fresh air with Terry Gross. I did wanna make an amendment to something that Aaron plugged Aaron. I hate to do this, but Patreon has discontinued the one week free trial. Now we offer a one week freak trial. So it only applies to people who are weak freaks. But if you're a listener, that's you. Bye forever. Created by Emily Cardemas and Emily Nebouras. The Ringo Minds in 348, Ringo, Ringo. tired back catalog at patreon.com. Hey, riddle riddle by joining the crew crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. And you get those ad free episodes. See you there.