Hey Riddle Riddle - #289: Time, The Great Killer of Paint

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

What's up, little snugglers? We are back for another helping of riddles, hold the ketchup. Or do we mean mustard? You know what, why don't you listen to the episode first and then get back to us. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Gum Podcast. The horse is making riding! One, two, three, four, eight, Red, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue back though. Oh, there's a green room. There's a prop table I'm freaking out a red room. Oh god. Wow disgusting in there I feel like I want to hold a clipboard and yell at people Do you guys think you think we're gonna be able to like fricking meet the band today? I'm too nervous. I'm yeah, I'm too too nervous. I mean, I'm too nervous. I'm, yeah, I'm too, too nervous. I mean, I'm too nervous. I don't want to meet the band. I mean, this band is some of my heroes. Oh boy, it looks like they're, oh, they're finishing up the finale.

They're heading, they're heading it this way. Oh, nervous. What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say?

What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? What do we say? Hey guys, good show! Very nice music. Drums and the guitar. We've been a fan of you two for a very, very long time. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's very good to hear. It brightens my day when a new fan tells me they like the music that we make

JPC don't do an impression of them. JPC that's rude to do an impression of someone's face. No, it's actually okay I love the impression that you just did. Oh He liked it Sorry for wasting your time. We're sorry. We'll go. We're sorry. But could we just, if we might just ask one thing, if you guys please, we're huge fans.

I think I know what they want to ask. Addle. They want to, huh? Addle. No, I thought they liked that. I thought they liked that. I don't know. They're stonewalling us. They're giving us nothing.

Could we please, please, please beat the shit out of Larry Mullen's Jr.? We love that kind of idea. Why don't you go ahead and... I'm sorry, I'm panicking. What are you doing? Alright, let's drop the ass. Okay, you two hasn't said a word to us. We should leave. Yeah, you two is just stonewalling us. A bunch of assholes.

I guess they really are too big for their britches. You know who isn't too big for their britches? The cast of Betty Boop, the Boop-Doop-Doosical. Adel-Sod. Did you meet them? After the show, they were waiting by the stage door, pleading that someone would swing by and say hi or good show or get an autograph or picture.

Are they? Are they? Okay, so this is Hey Hey Riddle, Riddle. It's a podcast. There's Iprov, there's Riddles, there's JPCs, there's Addles, there's Aaron's, there's listeners, you're one of those. You're one of the things that I mentioned. For now. Riddle's Aussies.

But I gotta ask you, Addle, is it contractually obligated? Are they, do they go out there because they have to or do they go out there because they genuinely want to like, in a COVID world interact with like street people who are like, I like the musical. Here's what I'll say. The cast was all smiles by the stage door.

There was a red dot on all of their foreheads, but I have to assume that was refracting light from a laser from a sign or something. Could be, could be. Could not have been nicer. What do you think of the show? I'd go there and I'd give it a boop boop to B plus. Maybe a boop boop to C plus. Sorry, B minus C plus, boop boop to B minus. And this is a thing where it was like public domain, right?

Like it became, it entered the public domain and then suddenly it was there. I believe so. And I think Great Gatsby did the same because now there's two competing Great Gatsby musicals heading to Broadway. So I think everyone's just salivating, just champing at the bit to jump to dog pile on these IPs.

When does Hey Riddle Riddle go to the public domain? Honestly, now, if someone can make a better version of this, you're more than welcome to. February 1st, 2025. Okay, interesting. Now, now I have a year from now. We have a year to turn it around. Let's do it. Let's write the ship.

I have some new business for the two of you. Business? To discuss. Now, I don't know if you guys have been checking your text messages. You never. But I had a baby a couple of months ago. And the damnedest thing, this thing can't talk at all, does not know human language, not words or anything like that.

And I've been really beating my head against the wall because I am trying my damnedest to come up with what I want my like name to be what I want the baby to call me. Right? So you had a baby. Is that why I kept getting these collect calls saying collect call from JP we had a baby it's a baby. It's if if collect calls were a thing anymore I would have absolutely done that I would have loved nothing more than to Bob we had a baby and some boy on your ass. Is this your first time mentioning that you had a baby on the main feed?

Yeah, you're getting away from the thing I'm asking you. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. You haven't been working on your enlisting skills. So you're saying you need a name for the baby? No, not God damn it. For what the baby is going to eventually... Larry Mullins Jr. Call him once the baby can speak.

The baby can't speak yet. So I can't play test any of these names. So I was hoping that YouTube, my friends, would help me out and start giving me, like talking to me in those names so that I can just give them a test to see if I like them. I'd love to.

I'd love to. Adel, please call me daddy. Foo, let's, let's, Casey, beep that. Just, nope, just any, any phrase, anything you want to say to me, just address me as daddy. Dada. I said daddy. I'm not testing dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadad This baby is into sort of philosophy and art. So, da-da, da-da. Okay, you're out. Aaron, I want you to try calling me Mr. Daddy Sir.

Mr. Daddy Sir, can I, no, I hate it. Okay, I guess I don't have helpful friends. I guess that's what I'm learning. Okay, hold on, give me another chance. Give me another chance. J-J-Papasi, J-J-Papasi. J-Papasi is on my list. OK.

So can we try it with some gusto? OK. J. Poppasee. You have twins. Hey, J. Poppasee. Can you stop ordering Taco Bell so late at night? Your shit's keeping me up. Oh, yeah, that's rich. My shits are keeping me up. Oh yeah, that's rich.

My shits are keeping you up. Fuck that. The pipes are clogged with Baja Blast. Is that O'Daddy Boy? Yes. Is your baby going to call you father, like Formoli, and are they going to go, father, can I go? Well, Erin, I guess I won't know,

because I can't get my friends to call me different daddy names. And so I guess I just I like dad dad's fun. The classic dad. I think dad's fun I mean you being anyone's dad is insane to me And I know I had many many many months to mentally prepare for you being a father and still I'm like You're a dad with the cut off sleeves. The guy with the cut off sleeves. They're not cut off. I mean, I don't cut them off myself.

I just order them sleepless. Thanks. Okay, well, here's my other question then. So I think I could be dad, but maybe I'm just gonna have this baby call me JPC, right? Why should I change? Why should I change? I'm me, you know?

I'm the classic JPC. Why should I change? Introdu should I change? I'm me, you know, I'm the classic JPC. Why should I introduce it? Introduce it early and often because your baby, your child is eventually going to grow up. And when they're 13, 14, they're going to start calling you and Mariah by your first names. Yeah. Out of out of an angsty sort of when they get fresh.

Yes. So start it now so that when they rebel, they'll start, they'll call you dad to change it up. Your kid's gonna knock on your door, your like office door and go, hey JPC, I've been listening to old, hey riddle riddle episodes and I think you're insane. Yeah, that's gonna be a problem.

Now the other thing that I'm gonna try, this is too early, it's too early, it's only been a couple of months and I can't really implement this yet. And Ryan's not on board with this. I think I wanna teach the baby that ketchup is mustard and mustard is ketchup. I think I just want to switch the names for things because I think that's gonna be a fun experience

when they're in school and someone's gonna be like, do you want ketchup on that? And then they get mustard and they're like, oh, wait, what is this? And then they'll be like, oh, I guess my insane dad taught me that these two things had different names. I will have to remove all the labels on all the ketchup and the mustard. I was just gonna ask, what different names. I will have to remove all the labels on all the ketchup and the mustard.

I was just gonna ask, what about labels? I will have to remove the labels and I'll have to make sure that I protect the labels at restaurants as well. And I think I can do that by like turning the bottle, putting my hand in front of it, strategically placing coffee cups. Yes.

Yeah, I think I can do it. I think that this is a really good choice to like, for a mix up to confuse your child because I think like Teaching the blue is yellow and yellow is blue. They're gonna get corrected so early in that So early this ketchup mustard thing could go on for a while. Yeah, I'd say 15 years This is this is akin to a nice shamans the village Oh my god If I could have a baby with half the staying power of in the channel on the village. Oh my God, if I could have a baby with half the staying power of

M. Nick Shyamalan's the village, or the cultural impact of my baby. A group of college professors start an experiment where they live like old-timey 1800s people, but this is the exact same where you're raising your child the exact way as anybody would, but catch up as Master Dimensho does, you catch up. Look, I dare you, if you think that this is wrong, then you don't deserve to have that little sign in front of your house that says like, science matters and, you know, all the other shit that's on the thing, because this is basically what

I'm doing would be science, actually. And this is experiment. We should tell our own science that say science matters or whatever. And then it says ketchup is mustard much as ketchup. tell our own signs that say science matters or whatever. And then it says ketchup is mustard much as a ketchup. So, in GPC, I have yet to meet your baby, but I have seen plenty of pictures of them. And I can already tell that they are so sweet and cute

and very charismatic. And so you need to sort of add adversity to their lives. You have to add adversity to their lives. You have to add adversity to their lives to sort of mess them up a little. Cause I feel like the path to your kid is gonna be pretty easy. No one's ever gonna say no to them. Yeah, I gotta at least bump it up to normal difficulty.

I have been the diaper, diapers have like wild names, but Huggies newborn diapers, which is what they had. I think that's possible. This is his new aving custular routine. Truly, Huggies newborn diapers are called little snugglers. And so every time the baby is like fussy or something or they're like, you know, they don't want to sleep. I'm like, you know what?

You're not acting like you want to be one of Huggies little snugglers. Now, this is not the way one of Huggies little Snugglers would act, that if you ever wanna be on the box and be one of Huggies little Snugglers, you better change the way your attitude is. And it works every time. Carat and stick baby, carrot and stick.

I'm glad you brought this up. I, maybe because of my proximity to Hollywood, you have a baby that's a star, JPC. Yeah, it's a very fun kind of baby. How quick can we get them some Gerber baby commercials? I mean, I would kill for my baby to be one of the huckiest little snugglers. I'm not saying this to be passe, but I don't know.

If you're in the, look, I will say this, nobody reach out to me unless you are in the, making a baby a star industry and you can make my baby a celebrity because then let's get it going. I'm gonna be like Seth Rogen's parents. I'll never work another day in my life. Maybe you'll. I'll be like, that's the dream.

I was in a commercial once and the set was basically all men on the commercial and I was playing a mother, a young mother with a baby in the commercial. And- Did you hold an actual baby? There was a real baby actor and he was so cute. He was outrageous. But he was like maybe six months old, five months old. That's a really little baby.

And it was on set with his mom. And it was so, I his mom and it was so, I felt so uncomfortable inside for the baby because they had to write all over the baby with like marker. And he was so tired. Was this for like about a party pill? What was this commercial for? And he was so, so tired.

Yeah, they get tired. And the men on the set were getting so impatient with this baby crying. And it was so confused because we had to do a bunch of takes and I had to pick up the baby off of like a chair. But the baby was just so exhausted and I had to keep putting the baby down on the chair. And then he would start to cry every time I put him down.

Because he's like, what is happening? Why are people picking me up and putting me down? Yeah, I want to be held. And I just, my heart was broken. And I. Cause he's like, what is happening? Why are people picking me up and putting me down? I want to be held. And I just, my heart was broken. And I think the mom was like, I thought it would be, I wanted to add this money to his college fund. And I thought he wouldn't remember it.

The mom's like, I don't know if this is worth $800. College fund, that shit's being spent immediately. Now, Aaron, here's the thing. I do what it seems to you. I want to see a scene. Oh please. So Aaron and I are going to be on set. Aaron, we're going to be actors playing

like a husband and wife on set. Adel, you are, you're not the baby's like a father or anything, you're just the baby wrangler. Yes, yes. You're a baby wrangler. And you're the one who's trying to get the baby to do the things that we needed to do in the commercial. I've never worked with a baby before.

Yes, they always say don't work with babies or animals, but here we are. Totally fine, totally fine. They say that, huh? Yeah, God, you were kneeling down behind me. Yes, I'm the CEO of Wrangler Clothing, and this of course is a commercial for baby Wranglers. I am the baby Wrangler, not to be confused with our brand, Baby Wranglers. Spell the same, pronounce same different entities sure okay so for this scene have you two seen Jerry Maguire oh yeah okay so you know this

sorry Tom Cruise no the movie Jerry Maguire oh great yes yeah Tom Cruise is in it I forgot to read it. Yeah, I watched that recently. I was like, yeah. Is there nipple? Why? Too many upwards? I think that there's like subsex scenes in there too, right? No, absolutely not. So there's a scene where they pick up Jonathan Lipnicki or something

or he jumps or something and they the parents are holding him by the hands and they left him. Well, not the parents. The parent and the stepdad I think, played by Tom Cruise. So- Let's just watch it. Okay, let me- Should we just watch Jeremy and Marcus?

Here we go, VHS copy of my pants here. And what- VHS, I'm sorry but I can't, I can't watch something. Okay. Who's coming with me? Huh? Who's coming with me? Huh? Who's coming with me you come on Who's coming with me? I feel no dogs Seen I can't tell

Aaron here's here's where I take some umbrage about whether or not people get upset I said did you hold a real baby and You said yes, I held a baby actor. Now I want to delineate between a baby and a baby actor. If a baby is crying on set, take all, holy shit, let's get this baby everything it needs. Let's be patient and realize there's a little baby on set. If the baby actor, if there's a baby actor on set and it's crying, it's being unprofessional. Yeah, it's being a diva. Or it's making a choice.

Or it's making a choice. If the director says cut and the baby starts crying and says, can anyone bloody hit their mocks? What is this? I'm British's director. It has, no, no, that's the baby. The baby has to be British because as we all know, the Brits are taking our acting jobs.

They're taking our acting jobs and they're taking our podcast. Wait, sorry guys, we're getting a fax. We're getting a fax. Hold on, let me look, see. I love these. Love getting these. What the hell is happening? This is a riddle podcast.

Oh, should we do some riddles? Let's do some riddles. Yeah, why not? Just for... I said this. Who's old daddy? Daddy Puzzles? I'm Daddy Puzzles.

I think I signed this up for auto facts, which is a fact service that just sends you a facts automatically when you're acted up, not acted right. Oh, I love that. I thought it was auto fox. Oh, that's car fox. Oh, God. No, it's Star Fox. I was going to say Star Fox.

All right. Well, yeah, we have some more riddles. These are riddles submissions. These riddles are from David. David sent in some, a bunch of riddles actually. I think we've done some of these before, so I maybe cut around some of the ones I think we've done before, but they're, what to say, some of these could be a little frustrating, I would say.

So that's fun. It's fun for us. Okay, here's your first one. Again, these are riddles from David. I would say. So that's fun. It's fun for us. Okay, here's your first one. Again, these are riddles from David. A sundial has the fewest moving parts of any timepiece, which has the most. I'm going to say a, I think we've had this one possibly. I'm going to say a, boy, I'm going to say hourglass.

Because thousands of grains of sand. It is. It is an hourglass and the hourglass has thousands of grains of sand. It is. It is an hourglass and the hourglass has thousands of grains of sand. That's a good riddle. I like that. I like that riddle. And that's your warmup. We've had it before. So that makes it a warmup riddle. Honestly, it's worth seven years. And it's just backwash at this point. We're all just drinking the last 10% of the riddles. I mean, I feel nauseous.

And paying out the answers. Oh, God. Paying out the answers. All right, here's your next one. What is unusual about the following words? Revive, banana, grammar, voodoo, assess, potato, dresser,

and uneven. They're all Kelsey's. They're all different Kelsey's. They're all different. Okay, I have to read this list. Kelsey's banana. Kelsey's banana. He's the comedy version of Kelsey's grandma. Have you not seen Frejana? Kelsey's grandma is supposed to actually be the comedy version of Kelsey's grandma.

He just doesn't seem very funny to me. Has anyone seen the new Frazier? Has anyone watched the new Frazier? It's not a reboot. Wait, what is it? Yeah, it's a reboot. It just doesn't seem very funny to me. Has anyone seen the new Frasier? Has anyone watched the new Frasier? Like the re, it's not a reboot. I guess it is, wait, what is it? Yeah, it's a reboot.

Yeah, like the new Will and Grace. I think Kelsey Grammer's the only one that came back. I never watched the original Frasier, haven't watched this Frasier. Let's do Frasier for a review crew. I have friends that swear by Frasier. I never watched it either. I missed a lot of sitcoms of that ilk,

but I know people that think that that show is just hilarious. My buddy Damon loves the show, but my first dating profile ever under a description of me, it said hates Frasier. That's just a nice combination of words, hates Frasier. Why did you say that, Erin? Well, sort of an inside joke with my, one of my best friends, Mackie, from the time.

You'd be fun to date. Oh, brother. Which I was like, how would you describe me and she would say hates Frazier? And then I went, okay. Damn, if someone told me, if someone would describe me as hates Frazier, I would be like, what do you think I'm like an asshole?

Like you think I'm stupid. What do you mean hates Frasier? You think I'm an asshole? You think I'm stupid? Can we go around? Wait, has any but Aaron, you said you hate Frasier? Yeah. Okay.

JPC, you've never seen Frasier? I never. No, I've seen Frasier, but I've just, I've seen episodes or what. Let's just do five, let's, we'll each do five seconds of what we think Frasier is. Got you. Love it. OK, I'll go first since I sure this out there. Oh, dear, another tangerine behind the armoire. How are we going to beat that?

That's that OK. OK. All right. Oh, dear me, Niles. I can't believe the dog is wearing my blazer again. I'm going to have to get that dry cleaned ten times over. I was ten seconds, but fantastic job, Aaron. JPC. Okay, now I'm going to be the dad. I can't believe my sons are gay-coded.

Yay. Yay. Chicago's own John Mahoney. All right. What are these words have in common was the question? Yeah, I guess it's something that they all have in common, but it's also something unusual about them. That's the way that it's phrased.

But it did something in the words again are revive banana, grammar voodoo, assess, potato, dresser, and uneven. If you put the first letter at the end, then it's reversed. Yes. If you take the first letter of all of these words and put it at the end of the word, it is the word backwards. That's crazy. Yeah, this is a fun one. It just, I mean, you have to kind of look at them. I put them in the chat because I was like, you're definitely never going to get this if I just conceptually list them. I would never have gotten it if I hadn't seen them written.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay. This next one is also, I would say, in the same vein, kind of frustrating in that way. What makes this number unique? And the number is 8,549,176,320. You put the first number at the end and it's the same. Yeah, you turn it upside down on a calculator and it spells vagina. Wow. Texas Instruments calculators are

all the way smart. Casey, go ahead and throw that over Texas Instruments. That other way. You don't overcalculate. I don't let don't let people hear me say a calculator. This is either the current population of

earth or it's the first. It's the only number in the what do we call it the number? The number is alphabet number in the, what do we call it? The number, we have alphabet for letters. What do we have for numbers? The number fit? Oh, alphabet for letters at all. I love where your head's at.

This is the first number or only number that contains one of each, zero through nine. Well, so it does, it does contain zero through nine. You are correct, but you are incorrect and that it does, it does contain zero through nine. You are correct. Um, but you were incorrect and that it's the only number that does that. I could think of, well, only once it contains it only once. Well, no, that's their mind. Hey, I got there.

I'm glad we all got there. Um, no, you, you were, you were, when you said alphabet for numbers though, you were getting dangerously close to a solution. And you were also correcting that there is only each one of those numbers, each number appears only once in this. Aaron, I loosened the lid for you. Go ahead and, go ahead.

Ah, that jar. No, I was gonna say, can I sit this one out? My ankles, my ankle kind of hurts. What the fuck? Yeah, can I go sit on the bench and eat some orange slices? I did watch Erin really lay it hard on that ankle. Yeah, I did.

She's chasing a butterfly. I'm going to really limp off the field here. Erin tried to do a layup, but she's more physically suited for a laydown. You don't say it? I'm going to crack open a Gatorade, eat my orange slices, and watch Adam. Crack open a Gatorade? What my orange slices, and watch Addle. Crack open a Gatorade? What kind of Gatorades are you drinking? Well, to be fair, I did lose at the top for her.

Yeah, I see. That's the only reason she was able to give it so quickly. Good luck, Addle, solving the riddle. Okay. Eight, five, four, nine, one, seven, six, three, two, zero. Oh, I got it. Eight, five, four, nine, one, seven, six, three, two, oh. Jenny, Jenny, now that I've found you. Okay. Again, I think I was really, I think it was really helping you out when I was, when I was saying alphabet for numbers,

when I was giving you that. And I think I got, and I think I got the answer. So, that's basically it. Go ahead. So this is, this is an alphabet for numbers. Yes. Think, look at is an alphabet for numbers. Yes. Think, look at this number and think alphabet. Okay. So, so A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H. Okay. H is the first letter. Okay.

A, B, D, E is the second letter. H. Stop that. Go ahead and stop that. The spells hurt you. It's not that. Um, okay. Maybe even just look at the first, the eight

and the zero and think alphabet. Oh, a b c. There's no letter for zero. Okay, 80. The alphabet just turned 80 this. I wish I could help. I really like my ankle though. No. All right. One more. One more try. Maybe think of just zero and think about the zero. How would you spell zero? Z. Okay. Z. R.

R. O. Yes. Z. Yes. Is that the end of the alphabet? And where is, and where is zero in this number? At the end, but nine is in the middle.

So I don't understand. Okay. Nine begins with a. Oh, it's all those numbers listed alphabetically. Yes, this is the numbers. And Aaron, you get an assist on this one. Yay, 15-1. Aaron, you're covered in grass stains.

You haven't done anything. I fell off the bench. It hurt really bad. I want to see a scene. The two of you are well-regarded, louded math professors, some of the best mathematicians in the biz. Why would you do this? You're working on a seemingly unsolvable problem that you think you've made a little headway in.

Okay. Not enough coffee in the world to help solve this one. No, no, no, no, no, we're making good progress. Wipe some chalk off, wipe some chalk off. Okay. Let's just, you know what? Why don't we switch sides of the chalkboard? I've been, I've been really focusing on this quadrant. Why don't we switch sides? You've been doing snow angels in that quadrant on the chalkboard. That's why you're so covered in chalk. Okay, yes, but if you see lower here, I have snow angels equals X. So snow angels is a placeholder for X. Carl, can I ask you a question?

Um, absolutely. A few hours ago, you were really high, strong, really stressed about this math problem. Yep. I saw you have an idea. Go to the bathroom. Now your eyes are bloodshot and you seem high as a kite. Did you think smoking some weed would maybe loosen up your brain a little bit to help solve this problem? Um, yeah. Okay. I'm sorry, am I being shamed for this weed's legal? Okay, you came out here, you immediately ordered KFC and Long John Silver's. First of all, they're in the same building. It's a KFC Long John Silver's.

It's not like I ordered KFC and Long John Silver's from two different restaurants all the way across town. I watched you eat it slow and silently, and then you went and now something sweet. I'm sorry. And then you ordered the pint of ice cream. I'm sorry are we math professors or are we are we the grub hub police? Which one which one are we? Okay I can see you just opened grub hub again on your phone what are you ordering now? Let me just order a couple of pizzas mashed potatoes. It's a Pizza Hut KFC okay? It's not weird that I'm ordering mashed potatoes and pizza. It's from the same restaurant. Okay, I'm upset.

I feel like we have a deadline on this. You're one of the best math brains in the business. I don't see you making any headway. You've erased half of our work with your body. Okay, fine. We're math professors. What's the worst thing that's gonna happen? Oh, the rocket's gonna fall out of the sky

because we got the math a little wrong. Yeah, the rocket's gonna fall out of the sky if we get the math a little wrong. Okay, fine. Let's turn on the TV. Let's turn on the TV right now and see if... We take you here live from Cape Canaveral where a rocket has just fallen out of the sky. What are the odds that it fell at Cape Canaveral,

but, famously, the launching point for rockets. Usually rockets land somewhere in the ocean, but not this time. Seems some mathematicians. Is this newscaster high? What is happening? Math-math-mathematician. Say that word. Math-pathagorean serum.

Serum? What is that? Okay, fine. This is my cousin. This is my cousin Carl. This is pre-recorded. This is on a VHS tape. Oh, brother. Mash potatoes on a pizza. See.

I think I would like to get high and go to work. I think that that sounds lovely. The JPC, you can. Yeah, I guess I can. Check out our next week's episode where Don't tempt me with a good time. I'm not gonna wash away the sobriety although it could be worth it for content for an episode Why not? Hmm? What about an episode where I get super fucked up and throw it all away? We'll watch my life just spiral down, huh?

How much do we all pay for that? How much do we pay to watch the monkey burn? $14? $15? Hey, you know what? We're not mathematicians, but while we figure out how much it's worth for me to throw my whole fucking life away, why don't we listen to some ads? I'm mostly concerned that you think the phrase, see the monkey burn is something. Okay, fellas, sit down. Slam store, turns chair around, turns hat backwards.

Real talk, okay? Whoa, okay, things are serious. Wow, this is cool. 52% of men over 40 experienced some form of turns chair around, turns hat backwards, real talk, okay? Whoa, okay, things are serious. Wow, this is cool. 52% of men over 40 experienced some form of ED between the ages of 40 and 70. Nope, I'm leaving.

I'm leaving, oh, the door's locked, the door's locked. But it's always been a taboo topic, not anymore. Thankfully, HIMS is changing that by providing affordable access to ED treatment all online. All online. All online. And Erin, of course, by ED you mean erectile dysfunction. I do. And I'm someone who's confident in the office at the dinner table and even on the dance floor, but can you keep it going when you get back into the bedroom with hymns? You can get access to

medications to ensure your erectile dysfunction or ED is there and looks's just call it gets treated so you can keep the confidence going all day and all night. Also the process is simple and 100% online no uncomfortable doctors visits and this is not you know just a common example of how this thing might go you might go to the doctor you might say hey I have ED the doctor might say let's see your penis you show them the penis they say no no no your real penis not the joke penis that you bought at the joke penis store. And you have to assure the doctor that the joke penis store closed down and you have to even show them the website that says permanently closed so he knows that you didn't get it at a joke store. And then

you have to get a big screaming match and the receptionist starts crying. Huh, joke penis closed down, JPC. Anyway, all you do is answer a series of questions on their site and a medical provider will determine the right treatment option. If prescribed, your medication ships directly to you for free in discrete packaging. No insurance is needed. You pay one low price for your treatments, online visits, ongoing shipments, and provider messaging.

Hymns has hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers, so if ED is getting you down, it's time to change that. You know what, Aaron? I think we should do it and we should give all our listeners an option as well. Start your free trial online today at Hems.com slash riddle. That's HMS.com slash riddle for your personalized ED treatment options. Hems.com slash riddle. Prescriptions require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply. See website for details and important safety information, subscription required, price varies based

on product and subscription plan. Adler JPC, open up. I want to talk about my favorite app on my phone. Okay, but we're about to, we're about to head into space, Aaron. It's better be important. Let me unseal this. I want to talk about rocket money. We're about to head into space, Erin. It's better be important. Let me unseal this. Ah! I don't wanna talk about Rocket Money. Would it please kill you, Erin? I mean, what happened to civility?

This country used to stand for civility. That's why we're leaving. That's what we're gonna find. We love it. We love it. So much. It's how I keep track of my finances. I've been doing it way before they were a sponsor

of the show. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills. And it is your best friend come tax season. Well, bills was the primary reason, Addo, and I had built this rocket to leave this world that in civility, which is out the window. Wait, is this Rocket Money that has over 5 million users and has helped save its members

an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. That's the one. JPC and I spent $500 million on this rocket. Oh, brother. Wait, you knew about this and we still built this rocket? Yeah. I mean, I'm the only one who did not know about rocket money for the purposes of this scenario.

They'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. So maybe you can negotiate whatever this plea for attention was. Yeah, we actually did do this. This rocket that we built is a subscription service. So we also are getting $24.99 a month on top of the $500 million, which is like, I know, bake breaking. Ooh, but we have been featured in several small town news programs.

But we should stop wasting money on things we don't use. You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle rocketmoney.com slash riddle. What's this red button do? That will dismantle the rocket, okay, and the rocket's been dismantled. Great, should not have built that button.

Great. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I'm sad today. Oh, little Charlie Brown, what's going on, buddy? I don't know about your baby. No, no, it's just that I was thinking about my favorite dish from my favorite local restaurant, Papa Marconi's. They're big, spicy, stinky meatballs. And I just don't think I'm ever going to have

Papa Marconi's big, spicy, stinky meatballs because it's too far away. Oh, buddy, I think Papa Marconi got arrested for being one of Batman's villains, I want to say. No, it was tax evasion. It wasn't for that. You actually can't be arrested for being a Batman villain. Does it sound right? Well, DPC, you can get that level of culinary genius right in your home. Cook Unity is the first chef-to-you service delivering locally sourced meals from award-winning chefs right to your door every week. And it's cheaper than other delivery options.

Papa Marconi's won an award, most health violations failed. No, no, no, no. Get Cook Unity, JPC. I've tried over 15 of their dishes, and they are phenomenal. Some of my favorites are the award-winning chicken briani with pomegranate and cucumber, mint, rieta. I don't know how to say it, rieta. Also, they're crispy, talapia tacos, yum, yum,

yum, yum. They have a spicy slaw and guacamole. Everything is so simple. It's so quick. It's so easy. If you're a new parent, if you have a lot of work going on, this is the perfect meal subscription for you. And no cooking is required for chef quality dining experience right at home. And unlike other meal services, Cook Unity is a chef collective bringing exciting culinary talent straight to your table. Food arrives fresh, never frozen, and packaging that keeps meals fresh in the fridge for up to seven days. Wow, and Cook Unity is packaging is compostable, recyclable, and reusable.

You can pick as few as four, or as many as 16 meals a week. That's good if you have questions about sustainability because I happen to know that Papa Mercone's, it would be just nonstop trucks rolling through that place, taking, unloading a bunch of stuff, loading a bunch of stuff, all hours of the night. Man, I missed that restaurant.

And you got hundreds of dishes to choose from, vegan, paleo, pescetarian, gluten-free, and more. Filter for soy, not in dairy-free options. Menus are posted two weeks in advance, so you have plenty of time to choose. So why don't you experience chef quality meals every week delivered right to your door by going to cookunity.com slash riddle, or enter code riddle before checkout for 50% off your first week. That's 50% off your first week by using code riddle or checkout for 50% off your first week. That's 50% off your first week by using code riddle or going to cookunity.com

slash riddle and tell them Popper Merconey, home of the big stinky sticky meatballs sent ya. They're accurately pushing people towards cooking. I mean, that's how good it is. That speaks volumes. They may have like a, they may wet their beak a little bit. I'm not sure. All right. We're back.

We're still doing riddles. We love them. They're from David. David's got great riddles. And a great little pose. Is he holding an apple? Is that an apple? Pantless, shirtless.

Gorgeous. Gorgeous guy. You know the original like David, everyone sees it as like white marble because time is past. It was like a white marble. It was like a white marble. It was like a white marble. It was like a white marble. It was like a shirtless. Gorgeous, gorgeous guy. You know, the original like David, everyone sees it as like white marble because time has passed.

It was like fluorescently colored. Yes, all most a lot of Roman artifacts were painted, but time and weather have taken away all their color. And then people just thought that's how they look. So they started to create statues and buildings in in a weather have taken away all their color. And then people just thought that's how they looked. So they started to create statues and buildings in gleaming white, assuming that's how they were always done. But no, no, no, no, no.

Used to be gilded. Time, the great killer of paint. Is that Sherman Williams tagline? Yeah. That's their new tagline. What do you like it? I love it. Very depressing. Very depressing.

Very nice. Yeah, Sherman Williams will remain as Empire's Crumble. Sherman Williams. All around the world, statues crumble for me. Sherman Williams wrote that. Sherman Williams. Sherman Williams. Sherman Ray. Sherman Ray, sugar raimel lemons. Sherman Williams also, Sherman Williams feels like it could be taken down and people be like, we got to rip down these Confederate monuments. We can't have these Sherman Williams stores in our city. I guess it does sound like a Confederate soldier. Yeah, Sherman Williams is great, March to the Sea. Okay, here we go, here we go.

This is, yeah, your next riddle. Put a coin into an empty bottle and insert a cork into the neck. How can you remove the coin without removing the cork or breaking the bottle? Critical in the guilty path. Can you read it again? You put a coin into an empty bottle

and then you insert a cork into the neck of the bottle. How can you remove the coin without removing the cork or breaking the bottle? This is basically like a magician riddle. Yes. Okay. Um, it's all sleight of hand. The coin never was even in the bottle.

It was like a mirror and a string. Yeah, they say they say something like if you throw a baseball at a wall enough times, the baseball will like you'll be asked to leave the RBS. All the spaces between the RBS. RBS should be welcoming my performance art. Thank you so much. We have the, we have the meats. Yeah, you're like the baseball Banksy.

Oh boy. Is this like submerge the bottle and hammer a nail into it making a hole and then I don't know. No, I don't. It does not involve you making any additional holes. And no, I don't think you need to use water at all. This is like a wordplay. No, it's not wordplay and it's not like a Bill Nye experiment. It's not like you don't have to you basically just

do something. Want to know a little thing about me? One action. Yes. I when I was young, I had a little bit of a crash on Bill Nye. The science. Wow. I had a little bit of a crash on Beekman from Beekman's world. Oh, okay. Aaron, I I didn't meet Bill Nye, but I did see Bill Nye in person, and it was the one time that I ever went backstage to Saturday Night Live to hang out.

Bill Nye was not involved in the show at all that night, but he was just there hanging out. And I was like, this is just so, it's such a weird, like it's such a weird, this is a person who was hanging out. The other person that was hanging out that night was, who was also not involved in the show, was Paul Rudd. And I was like, this makes a little more sense because I feel like Paul Rudd is like comedy adjacent.

And Will Ferrell was hosting and I'm like, they've done, they've worked together. So, you know, maybe this is a, but the Bill Nye thing was just, I just walking through the hallway and being like, huh. Nobody, if he is wearing his lab coat, nobody stops Bill Nye. He can get in, it's like they say, if you're carrying pizzas and you're confident,

you can get through any door. Yeah. If you're Bill Nye and you wear a lab coat, you can get anywhere. That's so funny. Anywhere. That's really funny. Hey, buddy, Bill and I brought pizza.

Whoa. I mentioned that when I was like maybe 18 or 19 at a sleepover, we were talking about like celebrity crushes. And it like wasn't seen endearingly at all. People were like, Aaron, what? No, why? And I never brought it up again until just now. And Aaron Howells were you? When I was like in up again until just now. And how old were you?

When I was in elementary school and they'd show videos, I was like, he's so smart. And he wears a bow tie. But at the sleepover, you were how old? I was 19 when I admitted it, when people were like, what are some celebrity crashes you had growing up? What's a sleepover at 19? I'm so confused.

Like when you were in college? You were in college? Yeah, I was in college. You had roommates in college. Okay. No, no, Like when you were in college? You were just in college? Yeah, like I was in college, yeah. You had roommates in college. Okay, no, no, but when you like, did you not do that in college where like a bunch of people would come over to one person's place and have like a sleepover? Well, I know.

I got drunk on couches. Yeah, I got too drunk to go home, like I did that. Okay, then this was just what was happening at my place. And then I woke up people right all over face, and I wish I had those pills. 19 struck me as old to call it a sleepover, because that's a me issue, that's not a you issue, because I do think that people do call them sleepovers, it just struck me in my mind.

If I buy that 19, if you said sleepover, I'm like, so everyone's parents know that we're here. Is that what you mean? At the good point. But no, that's a me thing. Adel, please. I want to see a scene. JPC, you and I are ourselves.

Aaron, you're yourself and you're coming over to JPCs and you thought this was a sleepover and you're trying to make, as Patrick Stewart would say, you're trying to make as Patrick would say you're trying to make it so So yeah, I thought we might all enjoy some of that ice cream so there you go and oh This is all this is the jenny's flavor. Yes. Yeah, Brumbleberry crisp. Oh, man Get in dark about that time. I'll be right back. Oh Oh You raced upstairs locking the door. Oh, she raced upstairs. Locking the door? What's she doing upstairs? Oh, Aaron.

Well, thanks for having us over. This was, oh, what? You grabbed all my bedspread, off my bed, and dragged it downstairs. What's happening? Sleepover. Huh? Oh, JPC's baby might wake up any minute.

Aaron, we should probably head out. To get a movie to watch later tonight, maybe like a horror movie we can all watch. Cuddle up, get scared. Stream movies from home, we don't have to go out for them, Erin. Maybe we go get some candy in a movie, cuddle up, get scared.

Straight, you know my baby's like two months old, right? I can't have you. Yeah, you can stay at my house. We're not excluding the baby, the baby can can hang out lives like a few blocks from me Aaron Did you come to town and not book a hotel? Did I come to town and forget to book a hotel assuming that one of you would help me out? No Having a sleepover with my best friends. Let's see. I take the couch you take the floor what?

This is a you know how whenever I go anywhere. I bring an extra pair of underwear just in case Somebody took my extra pair of underwear and put it in the freezer. I Was I found my what who put my underwear in the freezer sleepover prank And I found my what who put my underwear in the freezer sleep over prank Puts JPC's hand in bowl of warm water Ah, come on. Oh, I just ruined my bowl of warm water. I was about to eat that Wait, you're awake wash my hands you're awake. I forgot you gotta be asleep

Aaron look we I I love I love that you still have this child Don't yawn don't do a big yawn. I'm gonna be like, she's on Wolfy and a big line of coke. Geez. Aaron, there's a baby around here. Yeah, I'm gonna be like, oh, I am hitting the hay. You can find my face if you want.

All right, I'm sorry, I'm putting my foot down. On the sleepover button, it's happening. We're all doing a sleepover. What the fuck? Aaron, you go happening. We're all doing a sleepover. Aaron, you go to the car and get the extra blankets. I'm on it. Okay, and I'm locking the door and I don't know if you can go out the back. Hey, take your hat.

It's cold out here. It's cold out here. Yes, January scene. Aaron never change. I hurt my feelings. Aaron never change, no. Your feelings can still get hurt in a scene, guys. Yeah, especially with the seed is we're all ourselves and Aaron's chosen to do something crazy.

I'd like to see a scene. No, no, no, no. We're in a scene and we're all of ourselves, okay? We're all of ourselves. Mutually is her destruction. Hi, Adel, hey, GPC, you're not invited to my birthday party and you. Hi, Adel. Hey, GPC, you're not invited to my birthday party and you're dumb, dumb idiots.

Seen. All right. OK, fair is fair. I want to see a quick scene. We're all ourselves. I'm me, Aaron's her. Adel, you're you. Adel, we're all sitting around watching TV.

A dog food commercial comes on and you get an erection. Whoa. What's going on, Adel, we're all sitting around watching TV. A dog food commercial comes on and you get an erection. Whoa. What's going on, Adel? I told you that in confidence. And see. See? I said when the little dog brings its hungry little mouth to the ball, the sound of the crunching.

Okay. Now, Casey, it's not the dog. It's the sound of the crunching. Let's all. It's the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the boner in my pants. Oh, God. From the dog in the fight.

Guy who has to think of like the one reason this could make sense. I got an erection watch good dog food commercial. The dog's name was Jane, and that's my ex girlfriend's name, but that's how do you know the dog's name? Don't worry about it. I'm gonna head to the bathroom. Is anyone using this purina catalog? Can I take that with me? All right, you guys still have not gotten the answer to this riddle. It's What was the riddle? Sleepover? Why do people have sleepovers? Why do people have sleepovers? That's the riddle What is the riddle? Oh, wait.

You're pushing a clean and empty bottle. I just solved... Holy shit. I know this wasn't the goal, but I just solved a different riddle. A bigger, meta riddle. Okay. Which is... Casey Tony, you little scamp. Sleepo is short for sleepover.

Oh, yes it is. So when Casey sent Sleepo, he meant to for sleepover. Oh, yes it is. So when Casey sent Sleepo, he meant to say sleepover, sleepover Casey Tony. Yes, sleepover, Casey sleepover Tony, yeah. Casey sleepover Tony. Wow, Casey would be awesome at a sleepover. Yeah, you would be really fun at a sleepover. He's fucking awesome at a sleepover. Casey sleepover finally figured me out.

Say up all night playing video games. Yeah. Casey died in a sleepover. I bet Casey spins a bottle like a fucking games. Yeah. Casey died in his sleepover. I bet Casey spins a bottle like a fucking champ. Yeah. I bet he knows exactly how long to put the pop board in the microwave. If Casey died, we're at the same sleepover.

It would just be two people hanging out during the day until eight. Yeah. That's a sleepover. It's not a sleepover. It's not even a sleepover. It's just staying awake for brunch. Yeah. It's just just toover. It's not even a sleepover. It's just like you're staying awake for brunch. Yeah, just to stay awake over.

No, you have to get this. You have to fucking get this. I don't. I don't. I'm too bogged. I'll get the coin out of the bottle. Is this... But you can't remove the cork from the bottle and you can't break the bottle.

JPC, answer me this. Is this one of those situations, because maybe my least favorite riddle of all time is the, you're trapped in a room with no windows. No, let's see what you saw. They have a mirror. Okay. This is an actual practical. This is actually very practical. You could do this with a cork and a bottle if you if you had this as well. Okay. Well, let me rephrase it and this might help you. Okay. Put a coin into an empty bottle and insert a cork into the neck. How can you remove the coin without taking the cork out or breaking the bottle? The neck.

And you changed something there? Yeah, I did. Do you want to tell us what you changed? I changed removing the cork to taking the cork out. Oh, you just, it's, what a lot of thing being my ankle. Do you burn the cork?

Oh, no, Aaron. Do you like burn the cork? Yeah, I was going to say. Since you can't, you can't remove it. Interesting. Yes. I guess one thing you could do would be to burn the cork out. Yeah.

I think that's super focused heat source to just burn only the cork. I didn't uncork it. I just burned it. Um, yeah, but you're on the right track with the cork and you're not taking it out. You're pushing it in. Addle, you're pushing it in. You ruin the wine?

Wow. It's an empty bottle. No. No, that's very expensive invisible wine that you just ruined. You owe me $800 and I'm not leaving your house until we get this settled. And I am wearing clothes, they're just invisible.

I need to start doing like keeping track of like circumstances leading up to episodes because some episodes riddles make sense to me. Like my brain can handle the lateral thinking of it and sometimes like today I can't make sense of any of this. So like, what did I eat different? What did my sleep interrupted? Like what? Erin, let's start there. What'd you have for breakfast today?

I didn't eat breakfast today. Okay. Ding-ding-ding. Ding-ding-ding. Ding-ding-ding. I have a doctor but I wanna say that's it. Yeah, I do feel a little faint and I am starving. I'm glad that I'm not doing riddles today

because I woke up at six and I've had like three hours of sleep, so I would be useless. I would be absolutely useless at riddles. And I woke up 50 minutes ago and for breakfast I had a big bowl of Kekyo Pepe. He's the 2024, he's still making it happen, Kekyo Pepe. More riddles still from David. These are great.

Two boxers are in a match scheduled for 12 rounds. Two pairs of underwear, boxing, hold on, hold on. I'd like to see. You're on the right track, you're on the right track. You are two pairs of underwear, and you are boxing each other, go. All right, this is pretty brief. That was pretty brief.

Yes, yes, well, brief for you. What is it for you? Are they having sex? Huh? Hugsie. Did the ref just say are we having sex? Are refs allowed to ask that? I want a clean match, no having sex.

Only boxing. Come on. Touch gloves, don't fall in loves. Touch gloves, don't fall in loves. I like that. That's why they call it the sweet signs. Oh. Your two boxers, you're in a match. No, you're not two boxers.

Two boxers are scheduled to match for 12 rounds. Yes. Pure boxing only, no kicking, UFC takedowns or anything else, pure boxing. One of the boxers gets knocked out after only six rounds, yet no man throws a punch. How is this possible? Underwear.

I'm just gonna get snogged. Not down the sixth. Tempted to just give you underwear as the answer there, Aaron, but it's not. It's not underwear. Is this like, um, because sometimes they'll like kind of headbutt each other. No. Well, remember, match scheduled for 12 rounds, knocked out after six rounds, yet no man throws a punch. Oh, is a woman a woman by a woman?

The doctor was the boxer. The boxer was a woman. Yes. Wow. It was a couple of women boxers doing women boxing. You got it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you not?

Yikes. Do you not think women can box? Wow. Well, that's the episode. That's my secret. I don't think. I don't think at all. Okay.

If you don't think, I got a riddle that you're going to be really bad at. You're going to have to think a little bit on this riddle. Here's the next one. Aaron, I just emailed you a copy of Million Dollar Baby. Go ahead and watch that. And what do these... What? Finish it, oh my God.

You watch that. JPC, thanks for hanging tight while Aaron watched that. Yeah, she hits her head real hard on the stool. She watched it with the sound like, oh, and so I just heard the whole movie but I didn't get to see any. What a weird visual or non-visual way to watch a movie. But I feel like I really got something out of it.

Sure. What is it called? I have V, like the American, like the Institute of Film, something. You know what I'm talking about? I have C or whatever. I was in a hotel recently and I was watching, I have seen, it was like a special

and it showed a bunch of speeches from the like all the people who had won Lifetime Achievement Awards from them. People like presenting the awards and then people accepting the awards. And there was a lot of really funny speeches you get to hear like Steve Martin make a speech. And there are a lot of them are really charming.

Clint Eastwood got honored and then had to honor someone else. He is like the least charismatic. I know everyone hates Clint Eastwood. This is not like news, but he is the least charismatic movie star ever, I think. Like I know him and that monkey movie, like he's like, oh, he looks cool in a truck,

but like what are we even talking about? Him and that orangutan. Oh, orangutan. Wow, Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. But am I crazy? Loose, I want to say. No, he made his whole career off of being silent and grunting and squinting. So yeah, gritty.

That's that's his whole thing. Yeah, he's a man of few words. If you watch, here's what I'll say. Unforgiven is an outstanding movie, but if you were to count the number of words he says in that movie, and he's the lead, and I think he won an Oscar for it, I'd say he probably says 58 words. There was a certain class of men who were made for the Western. Like, that was their genre, because that's like what movies were for like the beginning of movies. It was like, hey, the only stories are Western stories.

The searchers. And yeah, and it's like Clint Eastwood and, fuck, Ronald Reagan and the rest of them. Those guys are nothing. Well, it's noon. Well, I found a whale with water. Pretty good. It's a pretty good record. But yeah, I agree. I've never seen anything that Clint Eastwood directs because he's like a director as well, but nothing he's ever directed has interested me in any way.

JBC, remedy that by, I just emailed you, Gran Torino. Enjoy. Not Gran Torino. Orlando Bloom. I actually emailed you Gran Torino. You enjoy. Not Gran Torino. Oh, actually. You called you Gran Torismo. Oh, actually. You called you Gran Torismo. Gran Torismo fucked up. Okay, here we go. What do these words have in common?

Polish, job, and herb. We've had this before and it's, they're all, I forget the, not homonyms, but they're all pronounced two ways to So you can say Polish or Polish you can say Herb or herb and I was well third one job Job and job or job. Job. Yeah. Yeah, but why why would you pronounce them differently? Name to get proper names But why? Why would you pronounce them differently? Names?

To get proper names? To get mis- So what's different about the word when it becomes a proper name? Capitalized. Yes, yes. If the first letter is capitalized, they become pronounced differently. If the first letter is capitalized, you must acquittalize. This is why you'll never be a lawyer.

This is why you'll never be a high-gown defense lawyer. I got in. I into making so much money. The system is broken. I think we definitely had this last one, but it tickled me as well, and I always like to hear it. So a panda walks into a restaurant and orders dinner. Upon finishing his meal, he takes out a gun and shoots up the entire restaurant.

Whoa! Why did the panda do that? Is this animal parade? He saw panda on the menu. He saw panda on the menu. A panda with a gun. Hey, Aaron, real quick. What does a panda ghost say?

Bamboo. Oh, that's amazing. No, I was just gonna be like, ah. Wow, Aaron, that's really good. You should've. Why is the ghost surprise? That's so funny. It's a panda. It doesn't know. Pandas don't have the concept of ghosts.

They're not prepared. Are you sure? For being a ghost? Yes. You don't know that. Who's, come on. I recently watched Kung Fu Panda and I think that these guys actually have a lot going on mentally. So why did the panda shoot up the place?

Yeah, why did he do that? A panda walks into a restaurant orders dinner upon finishing his meal. He takes a gun and shoots up the restaurant. Why did he do that? It's where it's like this, Aaron, this one is word play. And this one, I would say this is more akin to Adel's panda ghost anecdote in that it is a joke, I would say. I would say this one qualifies as a joke.

So what do we know about pandas? They're black and white. They love to roll around in the snow. If YouTube is to be believed. I'll go ahead and say YouTube, not to me, believe. Let's go ahead and not believe YouTube. They bamboo, I think. Bamboo shoot.

You had to be able to shoot. Bamboo shoot. Okay, we're so close. Wow. Then you do it. You finish it. Let us sit down. Yeah, zeeb zeeb.

You solve it. Okay, let's think about this. Bamboo shoot is correct. What did the panda do? Give me the order of the way the panda did things. First the bamboo shoot. Okay bamboo then he shoot. Eight. Yes. So the first thing he did was he eats. Eats bamboo. Bamboo shoots. Bamboo shoots. Eat blamb blamboo. Bamboo shoots. Eat blam- blamboo.

Shoots. Shoots. It's bamboo shoots. Yes, but take out bamboo. Eat shoots. Eat shoots leaves. And then what's another thing that pandas eat? Yes!

Eat shoots and leaves. Wow. Oh, whatever. I do wanna see a scene. Yeah, because I pay to eat shoots and leaves. I do wanna see a scene. Yes, please. Erin Aaron and JPC you are two pandas in a zoo because for us Americans That's the only context we really have for pandas. Mm-hmm your tube to pandas in a zoo and you both Are pretty on edge and you do know how to use weapons

So the koala said they're out What do you mean they're out? They don't want to help. They're not... what? Come on, we need the numbers, okay? We were pandas, there's only two of us. We don't have the numbers to overplay the zoo. The giraffes are silent because they don't have vocal cords because of their necks.

Fucking typical. Fucking typical of the giraffes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The penguins get to go on walks twice a week around the zoo. No, they don't. Yes, they do. No, they don't. So they're happy here.

The penguins get to go on walks? Yeah, they're happy here. Have you seen their enclosure too? They have fucking slides in there. I know, it's fun. I'm chilled out of a slide. Uh, I might... You know what?

I'm liable, I'm liable to eat a bunch of fucking bamboo and just fall asleep for a hundred years I'm almost mad enough to do it. I'm almost mad enough. Oh, there they are. There's these two Hi, Gracie. Hi, Georgie. Um, I know you can't understand me, but it's so fun taking the penguins for a walk I feel like all the animals get a special treat and Here is your dose of Kelsey Grammer singing Sugar Ray. Let me just press play here. Oh my God. God. Okay.

This is the one good thing in my life. So shut up. See, I just want to fly. This is the one good thing in my life. It wasn't even, it wasn't even Frasier. It was just Kelsey Grammer. Uh, hey, well, I just want to give a quick shout out to our good friend, David, who submitted those riddles, probably back in 2018.

I didn't check, but it seems likely that that's where I got them from. And if you want to be famous for a week like David, you can always send some riddles over to HRRpodcast at gmail.com. Make sure you put like riddles submission or something like that in the subject line. And hey, in 11 years, we might just get to them and you might read, we might read them on the podcast. How about that? Hell yeah.

Hopefully at that point, we're not free domain. Oh yeah. No, free domain. Hopefully we're do we know domain? Sorry, free domain is my rap name. It's I eat Fritos and I rap on stage and free domain. Oh, we do love our friend, free domain. Check out my new album. Speaking of my new album.

Yeah, Addle, do you have a new album that you took to plug? I have a new album and it is titled Happy Birthday to My Sister, Sadea. I just want to wish her a happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Sadea. Happy birthday to you. Of course, she's my older sister and I'm pretty old myself, so she doesn't.

This might be, you know, we're. We're going to call it. The son is. This is Sadeeha's last birthday. Yeah. Wow, Sadeeha. Yikes. Happy last birthday.

Aaron, do you have anyone you want to wish a happy birthday to? Holy shit, every birthday is your last birthday. Wow. Shit. Oh my God. Is that a riddle? Holy shit, every birthday is your last birthday. Holy shit. Wow, what? Oh my God. Is that a riddle? Slow march of time coming for all of us.

I would like to plug our Patreon, patreon.com. A lot of fun stuff happening over there. Really proud of it. You're going to get a bajillion hours of content if you head over there. And maybe check out the one week free trial if you want. JPC, do you have a review to read? Aaron, I'll also say, because this is relatively recent, I think it was this month, maybe a couple of weeks ago,

when we hit our last stretch goal, we released our Colombo bonus episode. So if you've been hearing this talk about that for a while, you can now listen to it. You can go over to the Patreon, patreon.com, so take a read over it, and listen to that, and listen to a bunch, just a bunch of other good, good quality, good quality programs.

Like the extra content that's coming next month, which is the Columbus, it's, I watched an episode of Columbus with a dog in it, eating food. And we captured that, so look for that. And we captured that. Do I have anything that I want to plug? Well, you know, I will actually throw out a request. And I'll throw out a request and I'll throw out a review. My request is, give us more five-star reviews. If you want to get a review read on the show, we're scraping the bottom.

We don't have a ton left. So go ahead to Apple or Spotify, wherever you leave five star reviews, leave us a five star review. I might find it, I might read it on the show, Adel. If you're looking for something to put into the review versus just reviewing the show, you could also describe the perfect

sleepover situation for Casey Tony. Let Casey Tony know why he, Sleepo himself, should come sleepover at your place. Yeah, these reviews are not for other people who want to like learn about the show to see if they would like it. That's not what they're for. I want to be clear about that because that'll make something great point. Right, whatever you want in that little fucking text box, okay? That you can put your fucking deranged thoughts into that text box, the shit that you should be telling like a fucking professional. I might read that as well. In fact, I'm probably more likely to read just like your journal entry for the

day. An earnest review of the show, although we do appreciate everybody who leaves earnest reviews of the show. Hey, this one is called, uh, this one is from the Buffy Bot. The Buffy Bot writes, this podcast is the bar to pass. I recommend this podcast to everyone, including people I've tried to date. Most either never listened or most have hated it. But my partner now listened to the whole back catalog and that's how I know we're a good fit. Thanks for the litmus test. Bye

forever. Oh, congratulations on finding love the Buffy Bot. That's just congratulations. Also wonderful. GBC. I don't know if this is I've never done this before. Hopefully I don't fuck it up. I saw, we do have an Ernest review here. It says, hey Vern, huh? Hm. That's the review? Yeah, it just says hey Vern. Yeah, hey Vern.

And the review title is Ernest Goes to Podcast. We gotta write that. Hold on, we gotta write that. Oh, Jupiter. Bye forever. We got to write that hold on we got to Hey there, what the hell's been was that? If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our public access TV. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.

Hey, Rital Rital, by joining the crew crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. public access TV. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. By joining the crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Any of those ad free episodes. See you there.