Hey Riddle Riddle - #291: Kevin Nealon in Female Pitch

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Happy Valentines Day!1 Minion, fresh4 teaspoons kosher salt2 tablespoon olive oil1/2 stick unsalted butter, softened4 teaspoons fresh ground pepper2 cloves garlic minced1 tablespoon parsley minced1 tablespoon thymeLet us know what you think! Enjoy!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Gum Podcast. All right. It's time to hand out your Valentine's to the class. Everyone has made their beautiful little box with cardboard and glitter and just go around and put the Valentine's you made in everyone's box. Adel JPC, you seem hesitant. Yeah, no, we have, do we have, Aaron, we didn't know, we didn't know you were serious. We thought you were joking. That's something that kids do.

I never joke, I'm not a comedian. According to men on the internet, I'm not a comedian. Well, that's number one trusted. Number one, after Snopes, men on the internet, number two most trusted source. Aaron, how will we do verbal Valentine's? But I made these locks. I made these Valentine's.

And I misread your voice, Bemo. And I made a bunch of locks. So, and it's pink. So I feel like it's on theme, but I can't- Yeah, salmon is pink. Is that what you meant? Locks, L-O-X? Yeah.

Okay. Well, you can see it, obviously. I made a big batch of it. We can all see it. We stand silently for 30 seconds to look at it. We can all see it. Mm-hmm. We both know it's either Locke's, like you lock a door,

or it's Locke's, like you put on a bagel. Yeah, either one, improbable for me to have made a bunch of. I've just asked it because there's a lot of metal keys in there, which I've never, I just don't, when I go to Deli's, I don't see that. So I was not allowed to do it in the kitchen, so I had to do it in my key making workshop. It's a real improv standup.

What is it called? Now I don't know, your twirlinging your hair like a circle. This is a disaster Tumbleweed goes by and then you two are staring at each other about which kind of locks it's gonna be oh Oh, you you did the old West thing, but you did like that Like cell phone I didn't mean to do that I meant to do 82 okay now all three of us are in a standoff. What are we talking about? What is this?

Wow, wow, wow. That's like the, that's a stint, right? I'm a partner. Oh, there it is. See, I don't know anything. I'm not a comedian. All those old timey, rough and pumble Western guys were always fighting over whether it was locks or locks or locks for

love. Yeah. Yeah. Or it could be the hair locks. I showed up to locks for love with 42 pounds of Atlantic wild salmon and was laughed out of the warehouse. Said no little girl wants to wear that on our head. Is that all right? No little girl wants to wear 42 pounds of wild caught Alaska salmon. Okay, check out this my fourth grade photo and say that again. Yeah, hold on.

All 42 pounds is not for one kid. What? Then two kids are gonna show up to school with the same salmon haircut. Humiliator. Yeah, actually you're right, actually you're right. I think this is officially, Two kids are gonna show up to school with the same salmon haircut. You mill your hair. Actually, you're right, actually you're right. I think this is officially, and we are not even done yet,

the most unhinged hay riddle riddle opening we've done. Officially. Officially. Like a snakes jaw. I'm always saying we're like a snakes jaw. My favorite Valentine when I was a kid, and this is pre-Aaron and JPC, and pre-Aaron and JPC can still get pregnant,

was there were Michael Jordan Valentine's when I was a youngin', and oh, what a thrill. When you open up a Valentine, it might've been like Doug Funney being like, or Skeeter being like, Skeet-her, I hardly know her with a heart. No, no, Addle, would that be, that wouldn't be on there. Well, I went to know her with a heart. No, no, that wouldn't be on there. Well, I went to a pretty raunchy grade school,

but then every once in a while you'd open up a Valentine and it's Michael Jordan dunking and it'd be like your love is a slam dunk or something, which as a, I don't know, a seven, eight year old, I didn't need to be getting all these loves and hearts and everything, but it was such a thrill to have a Michael Jordan Valentine. I-

You don't think everyone in your class actually loved you, right? You don't think everyone in your class- Do I get one pass? Hey, it sucks if they do, because how many of those people do you still talk to? Because that's a lot of people who just let love slip through their fingers. A very specific kind of childhood stress is you're sitting at your dining room table,

you had just gotten to CVS with your mom and you picked out the Valentine's cards you're bringing to your class. You're on a roll, you're just going down the list of everyone in your class and then you get to your crush and then you go, what do I do? What do I do? Do I give him a heavy-handed one? Do I really show up for him in a way that is lovely? Do I give him like a buddy one? Do I try to make sure He's a super masculine so I don't insult his masculinity like how do I approach this How far in do I go? What do I do? What do I do? I just remember being deeply stressed in a flop sweat

at a dining room table as a ten year old. Well, Erin, here's the thing. 20 some years later, JPC, your older brothers, JPC and I are here to help you. What's the kid's name? Who's 10 year old Erin crushing on? Describe this kid. Oh, it would've been Andrew.

Chain wallet, baggy Zinco jeans chain. No, he was like a little shorter than me and funny and a nerd. He ended up being my prom date senior year. He was very funny, very cool. Oh, Aaron, it all worked out. Oh, uh, did you close? No, we never were magically interested in each other. Aaron ABC.

Aaron ABC. I'm sorry, Always be closing. Not to jump too far ahead into the future, but obviously this is, hey, we're riddles, a podcast when we do riddles. I'm J.B.C. That's Adelaide Saren. This is your first episode. Whoa. Yeah, what are you doing?

It's Valentine's Day. It's your first episode of a riddle podcast. You got to do a life check. This is a life check for you. A life part. But did you guys do in, when you went to like, I don't know, junior high, maybe even high school, I think it was high school for us,

where one of the things you could do on Valentine's Day was buy people like singing telegrams that like went, the choir, like, I think it was a choir or something. Not choir, did we have a choir? Music, something, band, I don't know if it was band. Some singing thing would go to classes and you could like pay money for people to do like singing valentines to people.

I would have loved to have been one of those singing valentines, but my school did not have that. I don't think any school should. It seemed to be like horribly embarrassing, but people did it. Yeah, here's where everything goes wrong wrong is that in my high school, I think it was high school, the band would do it or whatever it was. And you write down a slip of paper like, Hey, this is Adel, I'm going to pay $5.

You hand a rose to someone and sing them a little song. And it's like from your secret admirer. Yeah. But here's the thing is the kids who are running that have the knowledge. Yes. They know I wrote that. It's all anonymous except those band kids have that knowledge, and you better believe they're holding on to it. I wonder if I should give like secret dramatic information to all of the gayest kids in school. I wonder if that's going to spread like fucking wildfire.

Yeah, it will. We didn't have roses, but we had these candy heart suckers that you could buy people as well. But they were also really fucking good. And I remember- You call them suckers. I just had this conversation. The Midwest people call them suckers. Lollipops. Yeah, they're suckers.

No, they're suckers. Suckers is awful. Suckers sounds. Lollipops? Lollipops is what a little kid in a sailor outfit licks in 1932. Yeah, that's what someone put on their lap. It's still the same kind of candy. It's hard candy on a stick. It's a lollipop. You fools, you Midwest goons, I will beat you up with my fists. You can't say lollipop without saying,

hey mister, and then saying, you know. Sucker is awful. It describes what you do. If you put heart game in your mouth, you're not going to lollipop it, you're going to suck it. No, it's awful. I went to it. I went to the school. We actually were allowed to lollipop. That was against the code of conduct.

No lollipop. No spaghetti straps, no lollipops. And you know what, Mr. Ohio in the chat, mute yourself. Suckers are spherical, lollipops are circular. I'm not listening to anyone from the Midwest anymore. Haven't you heard? Suckers get sucked. Blowpops were big in my high school.

Was that a second one? Oh, I went to a private Catholic school. People were just doing regular blow at my school. So you're Chris's dad. All right. Bullpup. Okay, so I'm Old Man Puzzles for this episode, for Valentine's Day week or day.

I'm not sure which, when this comes out. On Valentine's Day. You forgot to look, on Valentine's Day? Yes. Oh, wow, okay, cool. And Erin, I don't wanna be like them on an internet, I don't wanna try and explain to you, but it is called V-Day.

Isn't that when they were on the beach? No, that's D-Day. You can go to the beach. That's not this. You go to a nice restaurant, go to the beach, go to park. I always go to the beach on V-Day and have myself an absolute time. The doctor gives you the news?

Yeah. And you have to make all those calls? Yeah, I guess you could say I saw some crabs. Okay, we're having a lot of fun today. I feel it. So I have two games prepared before we get into riddles. Okay? Okay.

Okay. One is based, in this is just for anyone who hasn't written out. Oh shit. Based. Awesome. Based on the famous poem, roses are red, violets are blue, the honey is sweet and so are you. Okay. You've heard about it, right? I'm familiar. I've never heard that version of it. Okay. Is that Keats? Yeats. Yeats. Yeats.

I heard Adidas canceled their Yeats collab. Is that Lord Byron? Yeats by Dre. Yeah, that's Lord Byron. So these are for, again, people if you haven't written your Valentine's Day to your spouse, card or... Too late, you're too late. Too late. But here are some rhyming poems for you. I'm going to give the first part, and then you guys need to give me the second half,

the rhyme. Okay. So I'll give you essentially like the roses or red violets or blue part, and then you have to fill in it after. Ready? Isn't the first half always the same? Isn't it the first half always roses or red violets or blue? Oh, but then you give...

I got different ones. Got it. Got it. Got it. Sunsets are pink. Oceans are blue. I fucked a minion and so did grew. We don't know that he did. And we and we're just practicing right now. Right, Aaron? This will make it this will make it in the episode. Did you fuck the same minion that grew fucked? Cause there's a lot of them. Looking at my counsel, he's shaking his head. How could you tell?

I watched the first 15 minutes of Despicable Me the other day. So I, cause I had never seen it and we would, I don't know, Mariah loves the minions. So, and I've never seen a single minion's property. So we put it on, but we can't watch like a full movie anymore. And so I only got about 15 minutes. And I was also watching it with the sound off and the sub pedals on.

I would say enjoy it with a red wine and a filet minion. These things are so tender. I don't know what group what's in them. These things are so tender. You're grilling minions. Wait, you're not What are you doing? Have your steam in America? You're losing flavor The table I'm losing nutrients when I grill them

Honestly If you cook them at all you got a raw menu, that's the only way to do it You know you're not supposed to microwave them, right? You know, everyone knows. You can microwave it, you just have to take the clothes off. Don't want to go right through the clothes. Well, hold on. Do you leave the goggles on? Do you leave the goggles on?

Are you eating the eyes? The goggles are the best part. I am. I do have a cookbook coming out. It's called Filet Minion. Please hit me up. Oh my God. The recipes are coming out. It's called Filet Minion. Please hit me up. That is, the recipes are coming out. I've been putting them in smoothies

because I'm on the go. Yeah. You lose all the fiber though. I know that. Why am I eating a minion if I'm not getting fiber? Honestly, you can blitz your minions. This is an all-timer for me, you guys. Also, do metamucil. Like do something that will give you some light, or can bled. This is an all-timer for me, you guys. Also, do metamucil.

Do something that will give you some light or mirror-lax. Because you're going to be constipated. Day three of Eat Moot, Big U'd Smoothies. You're going to be constipated like all get up. Oh, yeah. All those overalls. Working their way through your system. Dude. There's only ways to cook a mignon. And I can play because I... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're getting it. And Erin very quickly I do what it say, open my fridge, look around. It's a bunch of minions.

Thank you. I had to sanctanify it. Ooh, what episode is this? 300, 400? We've arrived at eating minions. It's a thing with the minions where they always serve, right, they always serve like the most evil person. Is that how the minions work?

Yeah, they like flock to the most evil. So which one of us do you think that work? They flock to the most evil. So which one of us do you think that the minions would flock to? JPC. Come on, thank you. Wasn't fishing for it like what? You were fully fishing for it. That was the most fishing I've ever seen.

JPC was doing the little Shirley Temple smile. He was like, I don't know. What kind of evil in here do you think maybe they would want to be around? Uh-oh, Erin, making me hungry for a lollipop. Yep. What were we doing? We were big. We did a poem.

Oh my god, okay, I completely forgot. How did we only get through one, and then we talked about eating minions for seven minutes? Oh, my head, okay. laughter echoes, joy cascades. Now it's time for Animal Parade. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo A minion in potato dressing. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

A minion with a grottin sauce. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo A minion in a chopped salad. A minion twice baked. A minion salad with a minion net. A minion in a spit with a napple in its mouth. Animal parade! Alright, we did not have an animal parade ready at the go,

but since Erin queued us up for it, let's see if I'm going to just go through. Did I? Yes, absolutely. I'm going to do minions, and then I'm going to go to news and see. Okay, every despicable Me and Minions movie ranked from most, or from least to most popular. And just 100% this page is just full of fucking pop-up ads, of course.

Okay, fourth, whoa, a fourth Despicable Me is on the way, AT&T Fiber, not really interested. Aaron, do you ever try a blue bin minion? Oh, so good, but so many calories. Okay, despicable me four is of course not out yet. A blue bin minion, draw it, somebody draw it. Actually, not all of it, everybody. Stop what you're doing at work. Put down your work.

Everyone draw a minion being cooked and served in a creative way and we will post our favorites on Hey Riddle Riddle's Instagram. 5 Minions. Coming in at number 4. How does anyone use the internet without just being like, this is too many ads, I just have to put this down. Coming in at number four, Despicable Me 3. Okay, number three, Despicable Me. That's the original, I believe. Yeah.

Okay. Oh man, can't wait to continue here so I can get to the best Minion. I number two, Despicable Me 2. And of course, the number one Minionsion. I number two despicable me too. And of course, the number one Minions movie. You know it, you love it. The Minions, the rise of Gru. Wow.

Erin saw that I believe. I saw all of them. I don't know how and I don't know when. I don't know how. We should do the Furry Gru crew. We should do thinks Minion. Or Minions give Minion. Where we do Thanksgiving. Oh, Thanksgiving. Where we each bring a different,

we bring a different minion dish. Yeah. And I think that's fun. The only unproblematic way to celebrate Thanksgiving is if you change it to Thanksgiving, you remove it from its colonialist context and you just eat minion-shaped food with friends. And that's, and friends and family love ones

and you just share a minion-based meal, that's the America that I wanna live and you share a minion based meal that's. And that's the America that I want to live in. Amen. Amen sister. Okay. Candles flicker in the divine. Candles flicker in the divine. I can eat grapes but I can drink wine big wink.

Love that one. I would say Candles Flicker and the Divine, more than eight seconds, can't post it on Vine. I love it, I think it's six seconds though. Well yeah, but if it's more than eight, then it's also true. It's not like I said more than five, you know? Yeah, that's true. This one also has the same rhyme,

so you can also maybe make it about Vine again. More than five, you know? Yeah, that's true. This one also has the same rhyme, so you can also maybe make it about Vine again. Maybe. Okay, great. Music plays, hearts align. Music plays, hearts align. I'm having some pain in my neck. Can you readjust my spine? Beautiful.

A Valentine's card. Music plays, hearts align. Oh, you don't like me? I guess that's card. Music plays, hearts align. Oh, you don't like me? I guess that's fine. An aggressive Valentine's Day. Yeah, it's the aggressive Valentine's Day rejection. I love it. Dreams take flight, stories unfold.

I'm pretty young. You're getting old. All right, all right, all right. That's for teacher. That's for teacher. You're getting old. All right, all right. That's for teacher. That's for teacher. That's for teacher. That's for teacher. That's for teacher.

Yeah. Coffee is hot, mornings are cold. Did I already do that one? No, but we have a similar rhyme, but coffee is hot, mornings are cold. You remind me of this bread all covered in mold. That's also for teacher. You remind me of this bread all covered in mold. Oh. That's also for teacher.

We did two back to back ones for teacher. All right, let's see what this one is for teacher. Birds in flight through the storm. I think I have frostbite. My body's so warm. Cause when you go into hypothermia, you actually feel warm and you take your clothes off. It's true to take a night has taught us anything.

Give it to me one more time, Erin. Birds in flight through the storm. Another Valentine's Day spent with internet porn. Porm. Porm. Chicken porn. Chicken porn. When porn doesn't quite do it for you anymore.

Porm, porn for men. That's really funny. Moonlight beams, shadows, dance. When we get older, let's get in these pants. That's for teacher. That's for teacher. Yeah, that's for teacher. It's important when you're younger to make sex plans for when you're older too. Sex plans are very...

Yikes! Or you could do a... Erin, give me the first two lines one more time. Yes. Moonlight beam, shadows dance. Parle vous, aspez-franç' I love it. Fire is warm, stories are told.

You can't celebrate your only one day old. I'll go ahead and say it. I don't think Valentine's Day is a holiday appropriate for newborns. Yeah, newborns I think. You can love a newborn. If I'm checking, if I'm checking at baby.com, I think they're only supposed to celebrate Arbor Day. Arbor Day.

And then Honda Days. And Honda Days. And thanks Midian, of course. Oh, and thanks Midian, that's right. And we'll end on this one. Okay. Mountains are high, valleys are low. Hey Erin. Does anyone know where I can score some blow? Okay. Mountains are high, valleys are low. Hey, Aaron.

Does anyone know where I can score some blow? And Aaron, can you give that reading one more time? Mountains are high, valleys are low. I'm ready for riddles. Let's get into the show. Oh! Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Old man in the suit. The doctor was a mother. Wow. The six flags. He did, I'm a fucker. Oh, no! Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum to copy paste this really quick to make it easier for me. This game is called set me up.

Okay, okay. And you two, we're gonna do a little bracket and you're gonna set me up with real or fictional men. The list has both. I like the emphasis on real, dot, dot, dot or fictional. Can I ask a quick question before we start. Which one is Charlie Hunnam? None of them. He's OK.

He sings the song. But actually, all three of you, I trust your I trust you with knowing my taste and man and who I should be set up with. All three of us. You can Charlie Hunnam. No, you three can add to the chat. Oh, I brought some names. It's me, Charlie, hon.

So who would you like me to add to the list before we begin? Okay. Um, Aaron immediately, and I'll let you choose either Brad Garrett or whoever he plays in everybody loves Raymond, either his character or the actor. Thank you. Okay. And I get to add one and it can be fictional that I think would be a good suited match for Aaron.

Or a real person. Or a real person that I think would be a good suited match for Aaron. Casey, you're awfully quiet. Are you mad about me yelling at you and calling you a Midwest goon? Okay, Aaron, I'm going to pick the cartoon Fox version of Robin Hood. Thank you. A classic. Yeah.

Incredible. But to be clear, I think that Cartoon Fox Robin Hood, that's not just good for Aaron. That's like a universal donor. Good for the goose, good for the gander, yeah. Casey? Casey, you have to pick something. Casey has nothing to add.

It wasn't Charlie Hudson that she was talking to Casey, she was talking to you. You have to pick. That's fine. You don't think I'm worthy of love? Casey's ready for make a wish. I'll be alone forever. If it's someone from, he said, sorry my cat was knocking shit over for real,

so I guess Casey's cat is who he picked. All right. Casey. It was either gonna be Casey's cat or someone from Neoscombe, so you pretty much lucked out with that. Sweet. Casey selects Ronin Cumjumper.

Okay. Okay. Your first match up and we can go through these quick and we might need to take a break in between. All right, ready? Okay, yes. Aragorn from Lord of the Rings or Batman. I'm gonna say Aragorn.

I mean, from everything I know about these two, Aragorn is a better partner. That man's only partner is the knight or fight crime. Not even Robin. I don't even think he treats Robin really like a partner. That's more like a sidekick relationship. I gotta go Aragorn. Robin's a garnish.

Yeah. Lando Curr-Rizian, Carl Rizian, or Marlon Brando and Geisendahls. Gotta go with Lando. Lando versus Brando. Aaron Lando v. Brando? I know I did that on purpose. It's gotta be Lando.

Can you believe they went five to four on Lando v. Brando? Overturning centuries of precedent. Oh, I gotta go Lando as well. I don't think Lando's a good match for you, Aaron, but I'm gonna go Lando as well. Oh, okay, thanks. Um, Little Monkey Bones or Denzel Washington in Much Ado About Nothing? Little Monkey Bones. Little Monkey Bones by Denzel. What?

No. What? Erin, I would be so good for you. I'm taken. Um, and Little Monkey Bones is the perfect clone of me, so, visa, visa, I gotta, I gotta put my buddy on myself. Oh, no. Little Monkey B bones is gonna try to fix me. Um, Finneco Dare from the Hunger Games or Indiana Jones, but only when he's teaching. Aaron, can you tell me who plays Finneco Dare?

Sam Claflin or something? I'm not sure of the actress. Wow. Dresses up. No, no, that helps me with zero makeup kit. He, I don't know what else he's been in. I can't think of anything else he's been in. Oh, he was in the six. Daisy Jones, Indiana Jones, Aaron, I see what you're doing here. I'm gonna go with the Professor Jones. Thank you. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go wow. My problem here is that both of

these people kill people. And I don't necessarily know that that level of hyper violence is going to be appropriate for you, Erin. Go ahead, Adel. I just realized something. This is Duffie. I was going to wait till you're done. Erin, is the Aqua Song Dr. Jones about Indiana Jones? Dr. Jones? Jones? Yeah, my Dr. Jones. I have to go with, I guess I have to go with Indiana Jones because the other person I don't know the actor, I don't know the character and I don't think about any of it. So we have to go with the one I know.

I have no I googled it and I can't find it. I fucking love that song. Baby, I'm missing you. I want you by my side. By far the best song. By far. That was the best. So by far want you by my side. By far the best song, by far. That was the best. By far the best song?

Yes. By far? By far. By far. By far. JPCC just like, just like by far, by far. Darwin is the best minion. There's Bob Carle, Darwin Dave, Frank, Jerry, John and Kevin.

Huh? And you do not want to hear their descriptors. I didn't know that there, I thought there were only three. I thought it was like Bob, Kevin and another one. Bob, Carl, Darwin, Dave, Frank, Jerry, John and Kevin. And I'll just say Frank is a one-eyed minion who is tall and skinny and likes to play golf. Okay, you said minion and now I'm hungry.

So let's go on a little break. Snack on some minions, handful of minions for some protein. And we'll be right back. We were on a Minion! Check the show description for our favorite Minion recipes. You could check, they're not there, but you can check. I should have lemon minigrette, Minion grit, lemon Minion grit.

Oh no, Adel, this is gonna be the rest of your day. Oh no. One, two, three, four, eight, ready to break the door. One, two, three, four, eight, ready to break the door. Adal and JPC. Uh-huh, yeah. I need some advice. I'm trying to be better in 2024, but I also don't want to work that hard.

I want to spend about 10 minutes a day and have it be really fun and intuitive to better myself. Oh, babble, babble, babble, Babble, Babble, Babble. Yeah, Babble. So any ideas of what I could do to sort of like expand my mind? Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Babble, Babble. I'm recommending to you, Babble.

Oh. The best way to learn a language, immersion, Aaron living where the language is spoken and using it every day. But if that's not in the cards this year, which it sounds like it's not for you, you can still learn a language the second best way. And that's with Babbel. Yeah, Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations, Aaron.

It's quick 10 minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. I gotta be honest with you, I gotta get my baby on Babbel because I can't understand a thing the baby says. It's all blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's like, what are you, I'm getting Babbel for the baby,

I'm getting Babbel for the baby. Don't you mean you're Habibi? That's the second language, Habibi, Genese Qua. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, and delivered with conversation-based teaching, so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. So if you're going to France, they're gonna teach you how to be like, wee wee wee,

croissant, and all the other fun stuff. I can't be right. All right, plus Babel has this really cool speech recognition technology that I really enjoy when I'm trying out learning a language because it helps you improve your pronunciation while you're doing it. So not only are you learning the language but you're learning like conversationally how to speak the language. And studies from Yale, Michigan State University and others continue to prove babble is better. One study found that using babble for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. And Aaron, I've been taking babbles Aaron Keefe course. Let me see if, hey, hi, it's me, Aaron Keefe.

Oh, that's amazing. Indistinguishable. That was great. Babel has over 16 million subscriptions sold, plus all of Babel's 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money back guarantee. Ooh, la la, French. Oh, French.

That's French. We all knew that was French because we've taken Babel's French. That's French. We all knew that was French because we've taken Babel's French. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now get 50% off a one-time payment for a lifetime Babel subscription, but only for our listeners at babel.com slash riddle.

Get 50% off at babel.com slash riddle spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash riddle R-I-D-D-L-E, rules and restrictions may apply. Thank you, JPC. It's me, Aaron. English. Oh my gosh. That was it. That was Aaron.

That was Aaron. I recognized it. I finally understood you, Adel. I haven't understood a word you've said in so many years. We're both crying. Ha ha ha. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Hey, Adel. Hey, Aaron, you know how I was telling you guys

that I was in big trouble because I was falling into like an eternal sleep and I don't think that I would be able to wake up until I got true love's kiss. Yeah. Yeah. So I found a, I mean, I'm up. This is a dream. Obviously, I found a workaround. Yeah. Who I found a, I mean, I'm up. This is a dream. Obviously I found a workaround. Yeah. Who was it?

No, no, no, no. So I got a Helix mattress. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. It turns out I was not in a situation where I was in eternal sleep and I couldn't wake up until true love. I was just sleeping really, really bad. Like it was like, yeah, my elbows are everywhere. I was like, not actually sleeping very good at all. I was like, I woke up and, really bad. Like it was like, yeah, my elbows are everywhere. I was like not actually sleeping very good at all.

I was like, I woke up and my back hurt. Helix mattress fixed all of that. JPC, this is crazy because I have a Helix mattress and it's the best thing ever. And when I have friends come and stay with me, they say it's the best night sleep they've ever had. I have the Midnight Lux and I'm in love with it. I love it so much.

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So you both are familiar with Helix mattress and I kind of just wish you had told me about this earlier because I did try kissing a lot of stuff first to try to see if that was oopsies. Helix knows there's no better way to test out your mattress than sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a hundred night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. Wait, you can sleep on this in your home? Where have you been sleeping? Forest. Forest. Forest.

Like a sleeping beauty situation? I guess. Well, just like you, everybody is unique and everyone sleeps differently. And that's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. Also, JPC, I'm a little upset. I paid for Kelsey Grammer to come kiss you and I never got to thank you or anything. Okay, that's who that was. That makes so much sense. I can't believe I kissed the guy from Money Plane. That's your reference point?

That's the only thing he's ever done, right? When talking about Helix, don't just take our word for it or Kelsey Gramer's kisses. Helix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It is even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine as a go-to solution for improving your sleep.

You, JP specifically. Okay, well right now Helix is offering 20% off all master's orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Oh no, they have pillows too. I've been sleeping on bark in the forest. Anyway, go to helixsleep.com slash rental and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Oh, JPC, you put out your finger and all the birds of the forest flock to your finger. Incredible.

They're about to start pooping though. It's gonna be a real mess. Oh, no. Your finger, oh, I see. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Thank you for coming into my shelter here. Let me shut this bank vault door. Listen, as you can tell from all the red string

and the cork board, I have decided. Please shut this bank vault door. Listen, as you can tell from all the red string and the corkboard, I have decided silent bank vault door. I've never seen one that silent. It's huge. Thank you so much. I've decided that space as we know it is actually square. We're regretting coming into this bank vault. Adel, are you sure you're not just thinking of Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand? You know Squarespace, the one that makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage

with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms? Oh, maybe I am thinking of that. Wait, which one has an online store where you can like sell your products online Whether you sell physical digital or service products. Is that square space? They have the tools you need to start selling online Yeah, definitely Definitely square space, but it also it's like that's we have to keep digging because it could be also both could be space That's squared and you can upload organize and access all your content in one place with the new asset library

You're able to manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the square space platform But don't take it from us take it from someone we know has lived in the space that is square Welcome alien spokesman low monkey bones Everybody thank you so much for having me on your commercial. Cut the mic, cut the mic. We cut the mic. Okay, I'm gonna get my big scissors out and eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Oh, this is expensive. This looks very expensive. Little monkey bones, you wanna tell us about the custom merch?

I'd love to. First of all, you can easily sell custom merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. Design your products, air production, inventory, and shipping are handed for you. and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. Design your products, air protection, inventory, and shipping are handed for you. Save you time and monkey. Hold on.

Casey, can we, Casey, can we, I said monkey, can we say money instead? Is there, do you need me to say monkey clean? Nah. You're being so professional, little monkey bones are so proud of you. It's me, little money bones. What am I doing?

What is going on? Oh boy, I fed him after midnight, Erid. Anyway, you all should head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace.com, I'm little money bones. Hey, Riddler, Riddler. Riddler, Riddler.

We are back from the break and I just realized that these two nerds are both wearing hey riddle riddle merch. JPC has a women be hummus T-shirt on. A T-shirt that I could only wear in my home. And Adela has a baby baby crab ragoon sweatshirt on that looks rather cozy. I am not wearing Haverton Riddle merch and I feel full. Oh, tell Aaron who you're wearing.

I'm wearing something I got from Buffalo Exchange a week ago. Why are we talking about Buffalo Exchange Aaron? You should be looking in the comments, go to the episode description where we have all of our favorite minion recipes. And also, there's a link to our merch as you can get some of these cool t-shirts that you can't see. We've obviously purchased them. They'll be riddles this episode, but we got to get through this first. They're setting me up with my husband. I wonder, this is actually something that I would love people to let us know about.

Now, if you let us know about it on social media, I'll never see it, but you could let us know about it, like the Discord, I guess. I wonder if there is a person who has more Hey Riddle Riddle merch than the three of us. Because I think I probably have like at least seven, maybe seven items of Hey, Riddle, Riddle merch. I have six or seven. That, I wonder, and I don't want you to go try to beat it, but I do wonder if there's just a person who organically has it. So Vi for our number one fan,

by letting us know how many pieces of merch you have, we will send that person, I guess a new piece of merch. Yeah, sure. Yeah, we'll send you a piece of merch. Why not? If you have the most, we'll send you more. The next matchup is Edward Cullen and Mr. Darcy. Do the right thing, you guys. Who's Edward Cullen again? That's from Twilight? Yeah. Twilight.

Or Mr. Darcy. Is there anything that says they aren't the same person? Just 150 years has passed? That's a good point. No, they're different, they're different. Erin, I wanna say Mr. Darcy. Thank you. But if you're being honest, if we're thinking about which one of the little women

you are, and I know those are different properties, you gotta be the one that's sick all the time, right? I get that a lot. Aaron, you're anemic and you play the piano forte. So I can't give you Mr. Tarsi, right? Because, and I know again, they're for different properties. They're different, this is the weirdest girl math

I've ever seen ever. Different worlds. Louisa May Alcott wrote Sense and Sensibility. And the other one is Edward Cullen. I've never seen the Twilight and I've never read a book of Twilight, but I don't think he's a good guy, right? I'm gonna go Mr. Darcy. Thank you. JBC. Okay, I'll give you Mr. Darcy. I'll give you Mr. Darcy. I mean, I just, again, I don't know anything about Edward Cullen.

I have at least read Little Women. Good for you. He's an ally. John Wick versus Theo James, the actor, not his characters. Theo James is the incredibly hot actor on. He's from White Lotus, is that right? Season two? Okay. And from Divergent. I don't know what Theo James looks like.

I can't keep John Wick. Look him up. John Wick, again, is a murderer and he doesn't really talk. And so, I will give you, oh yeah, Theo James. Oh yeah, wow, look at this guy. What a cutie. Yeah, Theo James, you can take him. I'm gonna say John Wick.

Okay, Casey, you have to be the tiebreaker. This is great because I'm looking at Theo. Don't think about it, Casey. I'm looking at Theo James' IMDB right now, and I'm like, this guy is so handsome, but it does not look like he's ever been in anything good. Yeah. That's such a bummer.

Well, that happens. Casey said John Wick. So. Wow. If John is, if John Wick four is to be believed, and I think it is, there's a moment where they put out like an APB, they're like, all assassins, John, the John Wick bounty is up to like $2 million. He's walking through like the streets of Paris or something as that APB goes out, AP APP APB goes out

I want to say 95% of the people on the street and cafes and in stores and in cars Get up and go to kill John Wick. So Aaron 95% of the world is secret assassins The probably two of the three of us are a secret assassin, which means Aaron you need protection. So John Wick percent It would be you. I know you were fishing for that. You would be the secret assassin. That's all I want. Um, Flynn Rider from Tangled or Dev Patel? Uh, I'm gonna say Dev Patel. I'll say Dev Patel.

And that's selfishly. Yeah, I'd love to meet Dev Patel. I want to see the cross from him on a double date. I don't remember Flynn Rider. I don't remember, Tangled is the one with the really curly hair. Yeah, he's like brown and curly. Yeah, no, Tangled is the long blonde for punzle hair. No, maybe didn't see it.

Maybe didn't see it. So I'll go with Dev Patel. You will soon. All these kids movies are coming at you, JP. You can't avoid them long. Paul Newman or Pacey from Dawson's Creek? Newman. Aaron, unlimited salad dressing?

Hmm. Nothing to play. Aaron, can you tell me the actor that plays Pacey from Dawson's Creek? Joshua Jackson. That, don't know why I asked, did nothing for me. We'll go Dr. Salads. Okay, but for the record, Pacey from Dawson's Creek

is exactly my type. So if you look like that, you know where to find me. Do they? Do they know where to find you? Yeah. What the fuck? Oh, honey, that's so weird, how are you getting here? Dunzo Washington and much ado about nothing.

Whoa, sorry guys, the security on this list is not good. I guess anyone can just re-walk back in here and a glass of orange juice. Glass of orange juice? No. Yeah, glass of orange juice, hands down cold glass of orange juice, hot even, would be good. I did it, so it would have to, ah.

Hey, Aaron, you should never have put glass of orange juice in this because glass of orange juice is going all the way, baby. Jimmy Fallon and Fever Pitch or Kevin Costner and Bull Durham, I've never seen it. I don't know anything about it. Aaron, you made this bracket. Yeah, but I didn't give myself all good ones.

I did random men, fictional men. I'll do Kevin Nealon and female pitch or whatever you said. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon. Kevin Nealon and Pitch Perfect. No, it's not Kevin Nealon and Pitch Perfect. I want to hear. I'll do Kevin Nealon and Pitch Perfect, final answer.

That might be the name of the episode though. I don't want you to have to wake up listening to Jimmy Fallon crooning, I'm an idiot and I'm your boyfriend. So I'm gonna go with whatever the other choice was. Kevin Costner and Boulderm. Boulderm, yeah. That's the baseball movie.

Yeah. If it's a sports movie or a kids movie, it's chances are I've never seen it. Okay, I hope that's good. I hope that seems not problematic because none of us know. Li Shang from Mulan or 90s Dermot Mulroney. I'm a big 90s Dermot Mulroney fan. So I'm gonna have to go with a, but honestly, Aaron,

I'll give you any age Dermot Mulroney because Okay. That man has aged like a fine minion wine. Yeah, I'll go with German Maroney. Great. Great. Plus it would be kind of hard to have sex with a cartoon, so I appreciate that.

Not if you're doing it right. I think it'd be soft. 2D, Matthew McConaughey's character dazed and confused or Mr. Tumnus. I wish I hadn't let 2D slide by so fast. Well, that's the sexist on the table. I'm gonna take Tumnus for sure. Looks like sexist.

Good luck. Back on the table, boys. I'm gonna go Mr. Tumnus. Okay, TPC? I think he's a good listener, Tumnus. Great. Henry Cavill in that scene from Mission Impossible, you know the one, the bathroom boss, when he does this.

My favorite thing a man has ever done. That is- He cocks his arms. That is the crown jewel of masculinity, is that moment. Arms is guns. Or Tom Hanks in you've got mail. Tom Hanks. Hanks, cause you want Cavill too bad. Yeah.

No I don't. It'd be a lopsided relationship, lopsided. Whoa, wait, what? This is crazy. Orange shoes, glass of orange, Denzel Washington is Denzel Washington back here. Denzel Washington and much ado about nothing, the 90s one with Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson

and Keanu Reeves in that one too. And Denzel Washington's in it and he's so sexy. That's back on here. Whoa, I didn't, did you guys see that happen? I don't see it. Oh, that's a heck. Or Brad Garrett, everybody loves Raven. Garrett.

No! Oh, everybody loves Aaron. Aaron, he's tall, he's got money. He! Garret. Everybody loves Aaron. Aaron, he's tall, he's got money. He has the popcorn, I believe he makes popcorn. He has a standup club in Vegas. At the MGM Grand. He's a catch, Aaron. He's a catch.

Bad Garret's comedy round. Garret for life. He does Jimmy John's ads at some point as like a mafioso. I will continue on, but I need everybody, and that includes you listening to Google Image. Denzel Washington and much- Brad Garrett, young. No, no, no, override JPC.

Denzel Washington and much ado about nothing, or watch a short clip of him walking around. Just what for the love of God? We're not saying he's not a smokestack and a total catch. We're saying this is someone we're picking for you. And I, I, you don't think you like me? No, I don't think so, Aaron. I think you're a little too much woman for him.

And I'm, oh, I'm a little too much woman for orange juice, I think. Motherfuckers. All right, Brad Garrett moves on. And Erin, I'm looking it up here to, okay, let me just type this here. And my records show that, I want to say 13 episodes ago, you were panicking that you weren't doing enough riddles

in your episodes. Was that me? No, I like the new Erin. I think this new Erin's great. I was brunette then, I was different. I'm long now. I fully support any single one of us, just hijacking an episode to do whatever the fuck you want. It's Valentine's Day special. I'm going to do a little, we will definitely have time to do like four to six Valentine's Day themed riddles at the end.

Everyone, it's okay. Aaron, I'm on your side. I don't care how many riddles we get to. There's no bigger riddle in life than figuring out who your heart fits with. Thank you, Radle. That's right. And it's a big glass of orange juice. And if you're listening to this and you're in a relationship,

you're married, you're married to your job, for most of our listeners, that would be like being married to grad school, I guess, big mistake. Got him. You know what? Calm down. You're married, you're married to your job. For most of our listeners, that would be like being married to grad school, I guess. Big mistake. Got him. You know what, calm down. This one's not for you, okay?

You just enjoy your like shit that you got going on. You got bliss happening over there. We're working, we're working here. I listen to Hey Riddle Riddle today and they're not doing riddles anymore. They're just giving out delicious recipes for minions. Oh, my favorite riddle podcast doesn't have any more brain teasers.

They just have appetizers of how to eat minions. Oh. That's what you sound like, you fucking fools. Do you see, are you okay? You said appetizers. I honestly didn't know where I was going with it until I hit apeteizers. Okay, Cartoon Fox Robin Hood or Casey's Cat? Do the right thing, you guys.

Cartoon Fox Robin Hood, I gotta say, Casey's Cat is too wild for you, Erin. I think that cat's too much woman for you. Do the right you, Erin. I think that cat's too much woman for you. Do the right thing, Casey. Do the right thing, Robin Hood, thank you. Robin Hood, Casey secretly hates his cat, eating the phone, eating the mic, eating all the cords. All right, Aragorn Orlando Carl Rizian. Aragorn.

Aragorn, Aragorn, a better match. Because Aaron, then you would be queen. That's true. Oh, Jesus, little monkey bones are Indiana Jones, but only when he's teaching. Little Aaron, Aaron, here's what I'm going to say. Don't little monkey bones and Indiana Jones were standing in a fountain, lightning hit. They became little monkey Jones. Adel, I'm fragile right now.

In a don't do this, Adel, I'm fragile right now. Don't do this Adel. I'm fragile. I'm at my lowest, Adel. Look at what I'm doing on a riddle podcast right now. I'm already down. Don't keep me further. I'm in the Dibble-Dooom. I'm in the Dibble-Dooom. Aaron, it seems like we have little monkey jones here, which again is a combination of Little Monkey Bones and Indiana Jones. Little Monkey Jones, do you mind saying your famous phrase, but in Latin, Jehovah starts with a I? I hate snakes. Okay, I don't know what your answer to that was.

It's Little Monkey Jones. Aaron, here's the thing. I thought about it. I think that this is like super weirdly breaking the rules, but you did specifically say it's Indiana Jones only when he's a professor. And I guess if we're just stripping every other context out of his life, the only thing I know about Indiana Jones as a professor is he's like super hot, super smart,

and kind of frazzled. And I think that that's probably good for you. So yeah, I'm gonna go Indiana Jones. But you know, if he does all the other stuff where he's like a murderer and a womanizer, I don't know about that for you. That's why I added only when he's teaching. Yes, but then it's like,

oh, he only exists as like a half a person. I don't get it. Like little monkey bones is a fully realized person. Got a lot of depth to him. I'll go Indiana Jones. Aaron, I'm trying to think of like who you would talk to on the phone for hours. And I think Little Monkey Bones ticks that box.

I'm sorry. I'm a good visionary. Yeah, because it's just me going, what? Huh? What? What? I listen. Who?

All right, Mr. Darcy or John Wick? Darcy. What if there's or John Wick? Darcy. What if there's a John Wick but set in the Austin verse? Oh. That's fun. We gotta see that. Like in Texas? Mr. Darcy moves forward.

Dev Patel or Paul Newman? Dev. Dev Patel. Great. Sorry, I was saying everyone should check out Devs on Hulu. It's Nick Hofferman, like you've never seen it. One season? One season on Devs, right?

One season, one and done. It was like a one and done thing, yeah. A glass of orange juice or Kevin Costner in Bull Durham, we've never seen it. OJ. Okay. Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to go with the juice on this one.

You and OJ. 90s Dermot Mulroney or Mr. Tumnus, Jesus Christ. Okay. Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to go with the juice on this one. You and OJ. 90s Dermot Mulroney or Mr. Tumnus, Jesus Christ. Tumnus. Oh, interesting. Kayce is gonna have to tie break this one because I'm Mulroney for life. Casey. Dermot Mulroney, Aaron,

that was the one who was on New Girl, right? Mm-hmm. Okay, good. Yes, and Dylan McDermot was the one who was in like that Boston show about being a lawyer. Graf cheese and Dermott. Yeah, I'm doing Dermott Mulroney. Love that. Love that name. Handsome guy. He was in my best friend's wedding, right? Okay. Casey says I'm with JPC. Very interesting how he didn't want to try to spell Dermott Mulroney.

Tom Hanks and you've got mail or Brad Garrett on Everybody Loves Raymond. Garrett. By the way, I perfectly got Casey. He said, you got me. Tom Hanks, you got mail. Casey. Oh, it's, it's, it's, I'm the captain now. Tom Hanks moves along.

Thank you. Cartoon Fox of Robin Hood and holy crap, he's done it again. Denzel Washington in Much Ado About Nothing. I don't know how he keeps showing up in like the second and third round of the, Cartoon Fox I would say. Cartoon Fox. Oh my god. Erick Warren or Indiana Jones but only when he's teaching.

Jones, Dr. Jones. Jones, yeah, the only one he's teaching thing has got me. Okay, I think that's all right. It's like garbage, I'm only happy when it rains. Yeah, yeah. The one to one, perfect. Mr. Darcy or Dev Patel? Dev. Ooh, I wanna say Darcy. Casey?

Patel me something good. One's a real person. Oh, okay. Wow. Yeah. Patel moves along. Mr. Darcy's out. I'm shocked.

Damn. I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining. Let's see. Does Dev Patel have a partner? Dev Patel. Don't tell me. Mary? Don't Google to see if the glass of orange juice has a partner? Dove Patel? Don't tell me. Mary?

Don't Google to see if the Glass of Orange Juice has a partner, I can't take it. JBC, don't Google Dove Patel shirtless. Oh, who is Dove Patel's wife? Yeah, I'm sorry, oh, he does have a wife. Oh! Yeah, they've been married since 2017. Oh!

Oh, no. Okay, a glass of orange juice or 90s Dermot Mulroney. OJ. Mulroney, Mulroney! Wow. Casey. Oh my God, the OJ. How did this happen?

Erin, I gotta say, Def Patel's wife looks just like you. Shut up. No, she doesn't. It's pretty unfortunate. She doesn't. Spitting image. She's spitting? In every picture she's spitting, I don't really understand it. Tom Hanks, you've got mail or cartoon Fox Robinhood.

This is a camel. I'm looking at a picture of that. A little camel. I'm gonna do Tom Hanks because I just don't know about you is a camel. I'm looking at a picture. Oh, yes. A camel. I'm going to do Tom Hanks because I just don't know about you in a cartoon. I think the height disparity is going to be a little too much to handle. Okay. I'm going to go cartoon fox. Oh my gosh.

He disagreeing. Okay. Casey, I have to settle this. I just think Tom Hanks is a bad fit for Aaron. Too tall? We'll just chat because Aaron would have to be, that's a good question. That mother to Chet Hanks,

which I think is the title. There are better Tom Hanks's, I disagree, but okay. Wow, wow, okay, Robin Hood moves along. Surprising. All right, one second. I do Aaron with Tom Hanks from the terminal. No thank you. Always tried to return cards to get Burger King for you.

I would say Aaron with Alan Rickman, Sheriff of Nottingham from the Kevin Costner, Robbitton. I think Aaron and Alan Rickman as Robin Hood are a perfect match. In the end, Aaron is only teaching or Dev Patel. I got to go. Indiana Jones. Oh, my gosh. Jones. Jones. Jones moves along. Um, a glass of orange juice, Jesus Christ, I made it to the top four. And cartoon Fox Robin Hood.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I gotta go OJ. I got, Aaron, believe me when I tell you, I do think that juice is worth the squeeze. I think OJ needs to advance here. How did this? juice is worth the squeeze. I think O.J. needs to advance here. A glass of orange juice or Indiana Jones, but only when he's teaching. Is this the final? Is this the final?

Kinda. Kinda. Seems like you heard it, baby. Whatever, whatever happens. Erin's gonna say, you won't believe this, but Denton Washington from Washington. I'm an unpredictable mystery and no one knows what's going to happen next.

Erin, here's what I think happens. I think Indiana Jones downs that entire glass of cold orange juice and then gives you a little smile and says, everyone, please take your seats, we're about to begin. I think Indiana Jones moves on. Hell yeah. And then he tosses you the Rosetta Stone

and goes, found this. I found this on my pants. All right, Indiana Jones moves on. Hell yeah. And then he tosses you the Rosetta Stone and goes, found this, I found this on my pants. All right, Indiana Jones, but only when he's teaching and Denzel Washington and Machadoo about nothing. Aaron, fuck it, I'll give it to you. Denzel Washington and Machadoo about nothing. Aaron, fuck it, I'll give it to you. I think you would be absolutely perfect for Denzel Washington and much ado about nothing.

So I will vote for Indiana Jones. Yep, Indiana Jones takes it. Oh, the minions are flocking to JPC. Interesting. They're feeding off his energy. That's how you don't feed the biggest shister in the episode. No, I don't mind.

I don't know what I'm saying. Google image Indiana Jones when he's a professor and holy crap. All right, let's do some. And minions as food. Oh, yeah, please. Yeah, we'll do a couple of riddles. I don't mind doing a rental or two. I'm at work. And then we're great.

A couple of riddles. I don't mind doing a riddle or two. I'm at work. Yeah, great, a couple of riddles. Here they come. One second. Aaron's Googling image Google search riddles? Why would you put candy under your pillow? Okay, so this is gonna be a tooth fairy pun. For the sweet tooth fairy? Oh yeah, sweet tooth fairy, sweet tooth fairy.

No, Addle, sweet tooth fairy, final answer. What? My man Addle. He, Aaron, my man hit you with sweet tooth fairy, sweet tooth fairy. No, no, sweet tooth fairy, final answer. What? My man, Addle. He, Aaron, my man hit you with sweet tooth fairy. I'm gonna go to bed, guys. This sucks. Aaron, is it because you're camping? I see him going to bed.

I see him putting a big sucker under his pillow. He's trying to get that sweet tooth fairy. Aaron, is it because you're camping and if you put candy under your pillow, the bears will go for that first? No. Is it because you're camping and if you put candy under your pillow, the bears will go for that first? No. Is it because you're trick-or-treating, Erin, and you're trying to make it look like you got more candy than you did?

So you put a pillow in the pillowcase that you're using to collect candy as well, and so you put it in the candy. You put it in the Valentine's Day episode. Okay. Okay. So yes or no is all I needed. Why would you put candy? Why would you put candy under your pillow? Oh, Erin? Is it cuz you want to have sweet dreams?

Goddany dreams I'm in a grave. What can be touched but can't be seen Hmm Nathan fielder's penis in the a 24 TV production the curse No Spoiler for the curse, baby. I don't know could be I don't know the A24 TV production, The Curse? No. A spoiler for The Curse, maybe? I don't know. Could be. I don't know. What can be touched but can't be seen?

I don't know. Like your heart? Like your heart? Yeah, someone's heart. Oh, yeah. Tell those to doctors. What did the piece of gum say to their Valentine? You lost your flavor.

I choose you. I choose you. Ooh, I choose you, wow. Yeah, yeah. Why did the banana go out with the fig? The fig, cause he wanted a date. Cause he couldn't get a date. I do love that people who waited for like almost an hour would be like, they're gonna do some riddles.

And what we're doing is Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day cards. That's all some riddles. And what we're doing is Valentine's Day cards. That's all what riddles are. Half of riddles are these. These are riddles. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I'm stuck on you. I see you're trying to write a form letter.

Maybe I could. I'm pulled towards you. You hold me together. I'm stuck on you.. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it.

I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it.

I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of it. I cheese you. What did the pepperoni say to its Valentine? Okay, what do we know about pepperoni?

Pepperoni, that's like a sausage, right? It's like a type of... I cured him. Okay, oh, charcuterie. You're looking char cute to me. You're looking char cute to me. That would be cute. This, I like this one.

This is what the pepperoni said to their Valentine? Mm-hmm. Okay, topping, you topping me tonight? Nope, it's, you've got a pizza my heart, piece of my heart. I think they probably could have said you topping me tonight. All right, I'm not, no, let's do a voicemail. Why wouldn't it be you topping me me tonight? You top and me.

You top and to me. Yeah, we should probably just go ahead and do a voicemail. The dream of the podcast Or a voice mail You can leave down your screen anytime Add 805 Riddle 1 Tell them all your dreams Tell you what Remember the show It's the time

Of the podcast for voice mails. I'm fucking believable. That was from Matthew Matthews at Longtown listener first time emailer. Here's a voice mail theme that's been haunting me. I'm not the best at singing or audio engineering. So it might be a little rough around the edges. Thank you. And I'm sorry Matthew.

I said normally I told Matthew normally I'm a stickler for that 30 seconds or audio engineering. So it might be a little rough around the edges. Thank you. And I'm sorry, Matthew. I said, normally I'm a stickler for that 30 seconds or less rule, but I really like this one. So thank you, Matthew. You did a great job. Unbelievable. Um, that's going to be my new ringtone, even though I don't use ringtones. What if we did screamsgiving? Thanks screaming.

Let's hear that voicemail. Hey, clue crew. This is Matt Romeo from Ohio. You know, the guys who made the weird puppets of you guys. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea.

I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. I think that's a good idea. you guys had had some good ideas. We'll accept anything you guys come up with. Love the show. Bye. I think thank you, Matt. And thank you for the puppets. I think you're a little confused because Matt said we're having our first child come St. Patrick's Day.

If that's when you came, I think it's I think you're hopeful that I hasn't come to Frosch. OK, OK. game I think it's I think you're hopeful but it hasn't come to a frocia okay okay what what also did did did Matt just say we'll accept anything that you guys pick do we have like we have final cut on this puppet full authority puppet also no this is the last name is Romeo so can we do something can we do something with that? What about Otis? Otis Romeo. Otis Romeo, what's the pun there?

Oh, are we trying to do a pun or name a human? It's Romeo, so I was like, can we name this maybe Mercutio? Could it be like Mercutio, Juliet, Romeo? What about, of course, Romeo, a Shakespeare character. Aaron, Denzel Washington in Much Ado About Nothing, what if we call this kid a do Romeo? Well, who did Denzel Washington play

in Much Ado About Nothing? You don't even know? You don't even know? That's your husband. Ah! Ah! Ah! Who did he play?

Oh, what if we make Matt Romeo name his son Denzel? Ah! Denzel Romeo? What about Theodore, and you can Denzel. Denzel Romeo? What about Theodore and you can call him Teddy? Teddy Romeo? Teddy Romeo? Teddy Romeo? That's a fun, that's not like a news anchor.

Teddy Romeo sounds like he owns like three Manhattan restaurants. Oh, this is a Teddy Romeo place. How we enjoying the meal we dined here before? Nobody steals from a teddy Romeo casino well famously in the play we say Romeo Romeo were far out thou Romeo so what if what if the kid's name is Romeo Romeo I like Romeo Romeo but then you have to have a cool middle name yeah like I'm just spitball here Romeo triple R our one of the best movies

of the last five years. One of the best movies of the last five years. So, your name of your baby is the movie R, R, R. What about Reed? Reed Romeo. You wanna go with some alliteration with Reed Romeo? Wouldn't people be like Reed Romeo? Do you mean Reed Romeo in Juliet, the play?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. Ooh, what Juliet? The play? Oh yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Mm. Ooh, what about this? Ricky, Ricky Romeo. Ricky Romeo. No. Ricky Romeo sounds like a wide receiver.

I literally was about to say it sounds like a point guard for the sons. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, cool, then I like it. Ricky Romeo. I feel like I want like a cute little short name. A-do? Mm-hmm. A-do. A-do. A-do, Erin. A-do. It's both French for A-do. I want like a cute little short name. Adieu? Aaron, adieu?

Adieu, Aaron, adieu. It's both French for goodbye and adio. Wait, so you think adieu is spelled adio? It can be. Well, if you just say it, I didn't say it. It's fun because someone's like, what's your name?

And you might be like adieu. And they're like, oh, goodbye. What an asshole. Or they might be like, oh, that's your date. I took Italian in college and a ciao is like, a ciao is like goodbye in Italian, but I would always say, sie, sie,

ciabella, ciabella. You spell it, that's how you say it, you spell it. Roa, Romeo, Bo and Romeo. Erin is actually trying to figure out the name. Well that's just, is it Romeo Beckham, a kid? Oh is it? David Beckham's son is Romeo maybe? Honestly Jack is a cute name.

Here's what we have to do. We all have to do our final answers. We're going to give you three options and then you get to pick whichever one of these three options. I'm locked in at Ricky Romeo. I think Ricky Romeo is my locked in. Adel? I'm gonna go with a do much Romeo. I do much Romeo. I love it.

I'm gonna go with Baz Romeo. Baz Lerman and always wear your sunscreen. So I'm gonna say- No message me on Instagram and I'll send you a better list of names. Don't pick any of this shit. Don't do any of this shit. No, no. He said that we would have to abide by our decision. So No, no, he said that we did have to abide by our decision you have you can pick one of those three that has to be the name of your child And that's final Raul Like Raul Julia Raul Romeo you can't keep giving Matt all of these outs and also Matt. I hope your partner school with this because

You just let three strangers who you made puppets for pick the name of your child. Don't worry, they'll change it when they emancipate themselves from you. Add a letting thing to plug. Boy, oh boy, this came on so fast. I wanna plug letting us name your kids. I wanna plug the first ever thanks minion,

which will be coming up this November, but not when you think in November. Not when you think. Not when you think. Um, and I wanna plug, uh- It's the last Thursday. I wanna plug shoe hoarding in, Denzel Washington, whatever and wherever you can, Shakira. Erin, is there anything you wanna plug or promote?

Mm-hmm. I would like to plug our Patreon. Lots of good stuff happening over there, patreon.com. Hey, Riddle Riddle. I've been laughing very hard recently on that side of the fence. Oh, good. I was going to say.

Good. Good. I was going to ask. Having a lot of fun over there. And, GPC, do you have any reviews to read? I actually have a couple of plugs. These are two things that I'm not really affiliated with, but I really enjoyed. Recently I was listening to, and by recently, I mean probably a few weeks ago, I was listening to the podcast

Tech Won't Save Us by Paris Marks. And friend of our pod, Eric Silver popped up on that show and did a interview about the podcasting industry that I found fascinating. So it's a, first of all, that's a very good pod. The Tech Won't Save Us pod. It's like a leftist technology podcast. And that's a very good pod. The Tech Won't Save Us pod. It's like a leftist technology podcast. And that's a very good interview. So I think that if you want to check that out, go ahead and do that. And then I also just finished a book called Blood and the Machine, The Origins of the Rebellion Against Big Tech by Brian Merchant, who I also heard, given an interview, on Tech

Won't Save Us, which was an excellent book about the Luddites that I highly recommend. And if I got it from my library, and so if you Chicago and you want a library copy, mine is on the shelves again so I think you could probably get it from your library. Tech Romeo? Oh, Tech Romeo. Oh my, Mecca, Mecca, Mecca, Mecca Romeo, Mecca God Romeo, Mecca God Romeo, please name your baby Mecca God Romeo. Neptune, sorry, I can get out of here. I forgot that I had the kill switch.

I do forever. The kill switch. Sorry, Aaron Cheath and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony to the editing. I'm in hell. I'm in hell. I'm in literal hell. I'm in Christian hell. Hey there hearts and flirts, if you liked that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. Christian Hill.