Hey Riddle Riddle - #292: Bleeding On Purpose

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Sometimes a puzzle podcast turns into a real blood sport and you just have to kind of roll with it. Cryptic? Why, yes. Yes it is. Plus we've also got a working man in high spirits, a woman with a brand new look, a hair-cuttery with a real cut-up, and a the poetry of petrol. No Erin's were harmed in the making of this podcast.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Head Gum Podcast. the horse, the naked ride. Hey, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, five, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, five, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, eight, one, two, three, four, Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay. So someone's in a silly mood.

Addle? Yeah, I guess I felt a little wild, but yeah. Can I ask you guys a question and do you promise to respond with complete and total honesty? Yes, always. Sure. I only ever give you that. Are you guys living in my attic? So, okay, hold on. You just looked at each other. You made eye contact. We don't need to answer illegally.

What makes you think that we're living in your attic? Well, also, this is kind of like a trick question because LA, it's like they can't have attics because of all of the smog. Is that correct? It's like how Florida can't have basements because of all of the smog. No, that was the desolation of smug and that was a hobbit movie.

Because OK. OK. Agree to disagree. We're all going on in separate ways. No, no, no. Oh, come back. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I can hear you guys. I can hear. It sounds a lot like you. OK, well, we have. Video games are arguing about what time they should go to bed.

Aaron, we've played a little bit of video games. We've absolutely argued we've held a seance in your attic. So you're admitting it. Well, here the thing is, when you say living, like- Is anyone truly living? Yeah, what does it mean to be alive? That's really, I mean, the soul. I think we're all pretty bummed out right now.

I don't think anybody's really living. Did your wives kick you out and then you thought, you know where we should go? Aaron's attic. Okay, what even is a wife? As Aaron says, wife, wife, wife, wife. I mean, saying it multiple times. Mary lives of Windsor.

Interesting to ask us questions that you seemingly don't know and yet you're six for six so far with accusations. Honestly, I don't even care if you say, but you're a little loud and I would love if you could contribute to rent just a little bit. I'm covering it completely on my own and I would love.

Oh, okay. We can contribute to rent. We can contribute to rent. Here we go. Can you let that candle? Oh no, six, seven, eight. Oh, okay. We can contribute to rent. We can contribute to rent. Here we go. Oh no. Five, six, seven, eight. Can you let that candle? Five, five, six, seven, eight.

$28,000, that's how much rent is in a leg. Open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. Okay, you're getting evicted. You guys, you gotta get out. You have to be out by afternoon. Drugs, drugs, drugs. I got drugs, drugs, drugs. Hey.

Love you, boy. You guys are out. We know four RIT songs. I want to downgrade to Riddle Host again. You're not my roommates anymore. Okay. You're just my Riddle podcast hosts. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Well, Erin, nobody's roommates here because we're all squatting. That's part of the plot, right? Is it? We're not gonna pay. Erin, of course we can just be a rental host. And I'll start by saying, I'm JPC. That's Adlerify, you're Aaron Keith. This is Hey, Rental Rental, this is a podcast

where something happens or something. Something happens or something. I don't remember exactly. We all went through a rent phase when we were 15 and now we're here and something happens and then it happens. Yeah, some of us, like me, were forced to go through a rent phase because we were subjected to musical theater in high school

and now we have rent. By the musical theater kids, Aaron, by whom? The teachers, the principal, the administration. By whom? By whom? The football team team are in the football team they dragged me out of the field and they said you're gonna be Nick is Nick a person from rent. God Mimi Mimi. Roger Roger Roger Roger Federer Andre Agassi. Lorie. Did you ever really live if you didn't go through a rent phase when you were way too young? That's what living is.

Adal and I went to Sketchfest this past weekend. JPC, you could not attend because you have a baby. And also, I did a live show last night and I met the nicest listener I think we've ever had on the show. I finally met them. Wow. Okay, so the old racist listener, Alan, can fuck right off. Alan, you've been displaced. Toss Alan into a garbage can.

Alan, be tossed. Bye-bye, Alan bitch. His name was Ben and he came to one of my improv shows. He's from Iowa, but he was in LA for work and he stopped and said hi and he was so kind and I went, I'm recording in exactly 12 hours. I'm gonna give you a little shout out, Ben, because that's how kind you are.

And this brings me to my next point about Hey Riddle Riddle Live shows. There's something I wanna say about them. Okay. I wanted to run to say about them. Okay. I wanted to run it by you guys. Okay. That what happens at live shows is I get out there on the stage. You do.

And I'm so, I do. And I'm so happy to see everyone in the audience. Like in San Francisco, I was like, look at all you, look at all of you, look how sweet you are. And I get annoyed that I have to do riddles instead of talking to people. Can. You feel. Yes.

I shouldn't try and anticipate you're lying, King. No, you can. You oftentimes get it right. So what I want to do is I actually would rather we just turn the lights on immediately and we all just sort of talk us in the audience Aaron I think what you want to do is you want to do a twitch stream or Maybe if you really want to make some real money and only fans Because you can just do the stuff where you just talk to people except you're of course putting your feet in your no one wants to see my feet No just talk to people except you're of course putting your feet in yoga. No one wants to see my feet. No one wants to see me. And yogurt?

No. Well, I don't know. I'm trying. Absolutely no one cares about my feet in yogurt. You've been kicked out of so many vans. I'm trying to. Here's what I'll say. I think, Aaron, I'm mulling it over my brain,

just like I do with the wine I put in my brain, which has really given me wine brain. I don't think I can't figure out any angle where it's bad to invite the audience to immediately start talking in our live shows. I think this, I think this is going to turn out really good. I do want to see a quick scene, Adal, you are at work. You are complaining to one of your coworkers that you are suffering from wine brain, but you're claiming that it's you're not drunk You just have wine brain Aaron. You're the co-worker Hey, Todd, do you have the quarterly numbers? I just need to present them at the meeting leader. I couldn't possibly have those right

Did you see do you watch that new show on the new show on TV? That's just it's just a red square for four hours Pardon me me under the desk at 10 me under the desk at 10 oh it's 1045 yeah we have to go back in time get in this get in this cup of coffee hey Todd I you were supposed to have the numbers up to me like 3 30 p.m. yesterday I feel like I'm being pretty flexible on this I know I I'm your boss, but we sort of feel more like peers. What's you what's the play? What's the play? Something's rotten in Denmark is that I went I went to go see a production of I went to go see a production of Hamlet and I I thought it would be funny to get on stage, but then I fell asleep

and you know, there's a scene where they poisoned the king by pouring poison in his ear. Sure. Somebody poured wine in my ear and I, it feels bad. Things are bad. I'm trying to get ahold of what you're talking about. Something wrong. So you went on stage during a production of Hamlet and they confused you for one of the actors and poured real wine in your ear.

Yes, so it's to teach me a lesson and something's wrong. Did you go to the hospital? I went to the hospital and when I got there they said, could I take your order? And I said, could I take your order? And they said, you want to take my order? And I said, this is an hospital. Okay, so you went to like a Wenby's. It was a Wenby's. Okay, Todd. And they like a Wendys. It was a Wendys. Okay, Todd.

And they poured frosty in my ear. I really am trying to meet you with empathy here. I know that I have gotten some criticism that, no, I know that I've gotten some criticism that I can sort of be a little harsh. But this is sort of kind of what happens with you every day is sort of something like this. And it's sort of getting in the way of what we're trying to

accomplish here at the workplace, which is like numbers and stuff so You know what I'm gonna have you say everything you just said our boss and Then he okay fine. Okay, fine. I got drunk last night. I didn't want to come in all right Yeah, I can tell you hungover shit time. I was halfway between like, let me call in sick and then I was like, I don't really have any more flex days. So I came in anyway and I. Can you just do me there's throw up down your shirt and you're drinking a mojito. I can smell it.

You want some? Yes. See. If you like being your colladas and crunching numbers all day. At live shows is everyone is so much more interesting than me. And I just would rather listen to them talk. Like, cause we've, we talked to people briefly after shows they just walk up to you and so casually mentioned

that they have like the coolest, most interesting job ever. Turns out a lot of our listeners work in alcohol production. They're making wine, Molly, Richard. They're making wine and whiskey. JPC, I should tell you something. Aaron said a lot of the people, our fans, have really interesting lives.

A lot of them are in alcohol production here. Yeah, listeners, please. We legally can't call them fans. They have interesting lives during the alcohol production biz., JPC at the live show, Aaron made out with the Dozeki's guy. The Dozeki's guy, we have to do this with him. I was dying for you to bring it up.

Wait, JPC, I think you're thinking of the Colonel Sanders. I think, you know how 20 people play Colonel Sanders? I think there's just one Dozeki's guy, right? Well, there has to be two. I mean, there's Dozeki's. There can't just be one. Yeah, Dozeki's twins. So it's, okay.

So it's like two of the Daniel Radcliffe plays where he blinds the horse? It's like the way the Olsen twins played one character on that sitcom of... Full House. Full House. Yeah, there's just two people playing one guy, the most interesting man in the world.

OK, fine. I'll keep doing riddles at live shows, but it will be under protest. No, never not been. When is it ever not been under protest? The JPC, I will say I'm excited for you to listen to the San Francisco sketchfest audio because Aaron kills a fly for 20 minutes. I'm off Mike trying to catch a fly with my bare hands. Are you are you mad? No, I think it sounds great. I think it sounds it sounds like

the true live show experience. It sounds like people got exactly what they wanted. I'm sorry. The whole time she's doing it, I go, JPC is gonna be so pissed. I am honored that you think that I would listen to that episode. That makes me feel, that makes me feel blessed. No, that's fair, and that's correct.

I feel truly blessed. Speaking of doing protests, speaking of protesting under duress, because I don't want to do riddles. A JPC, do you have any riddles that you can read? Not only do I have riddles, Erin, but I have something that's not riddles really, but is a fun little game. So we'll play that instead. And that'll get us into the riddles, right? I think that that'll get us into, we'll have fun with it. We got an email from a person

who said I could use their full name and the name that they gave me was Eric the puzzler. That's fun. So it sounds like a super villain. Yeah, right. And they even have a website, ericthepuzzler.com. So I didn't go there. I assume it's porn, so I don't click on links. But you could go there if you want to.

I just popped my mouth. Can you guys see? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Aaron's mouth is bleeding. It's bleeding so much. What? Now, Aaron, how is bleeding. What's bleeding so much? What? Now, Aaron, how did that happen?

I cut it with my nail. Now, when you say nail, you mean the thing on your finger? Yeah. Why was that you're about? Because you're holding a hammer. That's what I'm saying. I didn't mean to. It feels bad, right?

It feels really bad. It feels pretty bad. It's got, Aaron, I think you should go take care of that. You can, I don't know what you can do. Okay, but I'll only do it if you keep recording. Okay, yeah. For the listeners, Aaron's whole front row of teeth is just covered. Looks like she has a wide mouth.

I was like, she has a wide mouth. It looks like she just ate a big lollipop. Truly wild. I saw it and I go, I wonder what that is, I don't understand how it happened. This feels like something that I would like address with my baby where I'm like, well, no, but why was the hand in the mouth?

I feel like JPC with me just mentioning that Erin spent 20 minutes on stage trying to kill a fly at a live show. With her just absolutely tearing open her mouth and having blood everywhere. I feel like Erin is entering her, I wanna say Maria Abramovich, is that the woman? Her Maria? Oh yeah.

Maria Abramovich stage of life. Where she's done with the spoken word. Everything is about performance art and the power of that. The last episode that Aaron did too, I believe was Aaron just doing a draft for us on a main feed episode. So I do think maybe Aaron is so done with riddles that she's looking for any other thing that she could possibly do. She's going to start wearing fun sweaters again. Like she's going to do stuff. Baiting you guys.

We've decided that you've entered your Maria Abramovich stage of life. Or everything. We both don't know if that's the right person. We both agree. We both agree with the ethos. I've only seen it written. I've only seen it written. OK, Maria Abramovich.

Well, great. Now this episode is covered in blood. Ooh, that's a title. This episode is covered in blood. He might as well face it. Episode code, blood. Am I such a sad sack that I've sort of leaned into that branding and I'm bleeding on purpose?

You'll never know. You'll never know how much of this is real and how much of this is my perspective. I think the episode title is bleeding on purpose. I think that pretty much sums up Aaron's ethos here. But no, we have to get into this because these are from Eric, Eric the puzzler. Eric the puzzler said,

if you're ever in Philly, you have a standing invitation to play the South Philly mural escape for free Eric the puzzler is an experienced designer who creates escape rooms. So Wow, I guess you were wrong about the people that listen to the show having interesting jobs Come on, it was a cheap shot. You give me the shot, I gotta take the cheap shot every time. Can I be an Eric the Puzzler? Cool, I'm reading a shit. So here's... So Eric the Puzzler sent a little game.

Addle, they think that you are going to love these, so they asked if either Aaron or I would be Old Man Puzzle. So here's the game. They're gonna give a description of a person and what they sell. Then you have to come up with the name for their store, which will be a homophone or homonym of their first name. And this, there's a correct answer or this is like just a sandbox.

Uh, in terms of an open world. Okay. Yeah, it's not a sandbox. We can't, we have patent, but we have to, we can't, we can't be using that. So for example, if, um, they said a woman who sells felines, you would say cat. A woman who sells felines. I don't. Yes. You cat. So this is a woman who sells felines and it's a person's name. Cat woman can do.

No, it's homonyms or homophones. So it's just one word twice basically. Cat cat. Yeah, yes. Cats cat. Cats cats. Cats cats. I see. Yes.

So a woman who sells felines would be cats cats. Okay. You understand. Okay. I think that there's also they say a few of them are darn close, but not quite there. So for example, a lady who runs a dollar store, but everything is only five cents would be.

Nichols, Nichols. Nichols? Yeah, you said Nichols, Nichols. Nichols made. Nichols, Nichols. Okay, Nichols, Nichols. So it's like not quite, okay? So here we go.

We're starting with some warm up ones. Okay. We have this woman sells pants. Jean jeans. Denise's denim jeans, jeans. Erin, you have one point at all. You have a tangential grasp of the game. Not only do I have one point.

Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, if Jean Smart started selling jeans, I would buy anything she sells. I love Jean Smart. And we need smart jeans. We need jeans that can talk to you, that can figure out like GPS location in the crotch. I don't want that at all.

I don't want my jeans talking back at me. I do wanna see a scene. I would love that. Why is there a hole in the same spot of the freaking thigh in every pair, Erin? What are you doing? I'm so sorry I said I wanna, smart jeans. Why is there a hole in the same spot of the freaking thigh in every pair, Aaron? What are you doing? I'm so sorry I said I wanna see a scene. I do wanna see a jeans.

Aaron, you are the test person for the very first pair of Jean Smart Smart Jeans. JPC, you are the AI assistant inside the jeans. And Aaron, you're taking them for a test walk Okay, here we go expensive Christmas present and it looks like you're trying to poop Do you want me to look up where a bathroom might be? Oh? No, just walking down the street just left my apartment. Um, oh, I don't care. I'm just walking by you. Excuse me

Oh, sorry. No, I'm talking to my Okay Um, oh, I don't care. I'm just walking by you. Excuse me. Oh, sorry. No, I'm talking to my. Okay. Adjusting gate setting. Adjusting gate setting. Adjusting. Please don't walk for me. Whoa. Uh-oh.

I'm moving way too fast. This lady strut. She's like the keep on trucking guy. I hate this. Um, hey, hey, looks like you really have to pee. Should I look up where a bathroom might be? Nope. Uh, jeans.

Let's just stop moving. Stop. It looks like you really have to pee. Should I look up where a bathroom might be? Nope. Jeans. Let's just stop moving. Stop moving. She looks like John Lomfoto. Okay. Hold on. Jeans. Jeans. I'm just, I don't have to pee. I don't have to poop. I don't have to walk like the Ministry of Silly Walks for Monty Python. I just need to make it to this date on time and I need you maybe to like chill out about being chatting or saying anything. I'm you maybe to like chill out about being chatting or saying anything I'm just trying to look very normal on this

accepting settings for chill date jeans do Toby McGuire walk from spider-man 3 no oh oh stop stop stop jeans jeans stop! Jeans. Jeans. Oh, gosh. Jeans do bad? Jeans do bad? Um, Jeans, you're doing great. Um, I... Jeans self-destruct in five. No, please, God, no. Do I explode too? Jeans do a good job? No, Jeans just unravel. Oh, no, please, Jeans, please. I don't... I'm too far from home.

Jeans won't. Jeans won't. Okay. Jeans can be good. Okay, Jeans. Jeans won't. Okay. Jeans can be good. Okay, jeans. Jeans just have to learn user settings. Every user different. Yeah, and I, you know, I'm a normal lady. I'm just a normal lady who's trying to go on a third date with a guy who's, I don't know, he's like, just fine. I don't know.

Lady. Re-adjusting settings. Oh, okay, great. Oh, lady doesn't have to poop. Lady doesn't have to pee. Lady shouldn't be doing Toby McGuire walk from Spider-Man 3. I mean, ladies can do all those things.

What do you mean, Jeans? They can? I do, okay. Now, JPC, you've given me... I want to get back to this game, absolutely. Very quickly, I must get this out of my brain says the guy who's losing the game one to zip right now Damn it. I have to say this or else it will fester in my brain We need a spider-man you talked about spider-man three of course venom the the symbiote

Attaches himself and makes the new suit. We need denim Venom. Now what this is, this is a Venom. This is like Venom's cousin or something. You know there's Carnage who's red and kind of more psychotic. Venom Venom is Canadian. He lands in Canada and he makes an all Venom sort of Spider-Man Venom Carnage-esque suit for someone. No extra powers, but I mean.

You don't need extra powers. This is going to have a Canadian tuxedo. Yeah, denim, denim, Marvel. If you're listening and I know you are, you gotta let us write this. When was the last time you wore all denim? Well, last time I was in New York and friend of the show, Stuart from the FOP house called me out and a friend of the show Stuart from the FOP house called me out and said, what's going on with the Canadian

tuxedo? And I said, I'm never doing this again. No, it's if you go and did them on the bottom, you gotta go chambre on the top. That's that's the trick. Then people love chambre right outside Chicago. Historic village. It's only chambre if it's grown in the Chambre region of France. Oh yes. Sparkling shirt. Sparkling shirt.

All right. Here we go. I like that a lot, JVC. Here we go. I rarely give you your flowers, but I would like to slow down for a minute and tell you that I did love that. Wait, we shouldn't give me flowers for that. I set up my own joke and I just did it.

Isn't that what this is? Yeah, I guess that's right. All right, here's your next one. This dude sells toilets. John's Johns. John's Johns. I was moving too slow. I was back on the board.

You did move too slow, that is correct. John's brother is launching a line of rugs to pair with John's products. Matt's Matt's. Matt's Matt's. I hope we get a pizza, Aaron, I hope we get a pizza pizza. In my defense, my mouth is full of blood.

What was that bite? Cause it's filled with blood. This puzzle master bakes pecan cookies. Sandy, Sandy's. I haven't had that. That is Sandy's. It's happening, why am I moving so slow? Aaron, maybe you just lost too much blood.

You started out with all your blood in your mouth, and now it's slowly leaked out, and now you don't have enough to do the riddles very good. Wanna guess my blood type? A knee Mick Jagger? I have had this pickup line at a bar so many times where a woman will saunter over to me and say you wanna guess my blood type.

Is it B positive? Cause I need a kidney. You look like you could be a match. Aaron, I would say you are blood positive. A, B positive. Okay, Adal, what's your guess? I think you are the universal donor. Is that O? Yes, I'm O negative.

O, negative. I don't know why I guess positive with you. The person owns a strip club. Sorry, can you say that again? This person owns a strip club. Naked naked. No, no. Dancer's dancers.

Pulse, pulse, pulse, pulse. Pulse, pulse, no. This one is right on the money with, it's not a slant, it's the same word twice. Okay. Is it like money related or dancing? Bills, bills. It's not money related or dancing. And you know what, here's what I'll say,

it might help you out. This is an all male strip club. Oh. Dix Dix. Yeah, I think I can. That's not the answer. That's not the answer, but I do think Dix Dix works for that. This person owns a strip club, yeah.

Chips, Chippendales? The answer that was given was guys guys. But I like Dix Dix better. But also if I was gonna go to a strip club called Dix Dix, I would want it to be called Dix Dicks Dicks because the Beal juice theory Anything you say three times in a row you will summon rule rule of threes, you know rule of threes And and listeners No, I'm not gonna call for it dickled you seen where somebody says dick three times

Well, actually this sounds actually JBR actually Adel did call for that scene and we did cut it out We have to the scene happened. We all sort of looked at each other This is also JPC cutting in from a little further into the episode Adel kept calling for that scene We have to keep cutting it out He cut he called for an after break he called for it right before we had the plugs He called us on the phone to try to do it over the phone It's dick time. Hey, it's me, Digglejuice.

And that has legs. And that has legs. Can we cut that? Can we get that out of the episode? Or just, Casey, maybe just have him say it once. We've won in there. It's dick time. No. All right, here's the next set.

These are the intermediate pussies. These are a little harder. Ooh. This guy is a ladies barber. It's a guy who's a ladies barber. Harry's, Harry's, Harry's, Harry's, Harry's. Oh, Bill Fonts, Bufonts. Bob's Bob's.

Aaron, it's Bob's Bob's. Ooh, she back on the board. Bob's, Bob's, Bob's, Bob's and Ron. This man sells fake vomit. I would like to see a scene, actually. Okay. Jay, you're a woman's hairdresser and your name is Bob and you only cut Bob's and Adel, you are a woman who just went in there asking for a very different haircut that isn't a

Bob and you're trying to politely express your disappointment in your new haircut. Alright, what do we think? Okay, this seems... yeah, this isn't what I expected, nor what I asked for, I guess. Oh! I wanted the Rachel. Oh my god, I'm so... I'm sorry? I wanted the Rachel. Oh my god, I'm so I'm sorry. I wanted the Rachel. Oh You're your name is Rachel. I'm so sorry. I'm so caught off guard. This never happens I don't even know what to do in a situation like this week. I'm sorry Rachel. What look I'm my name's not Rachel. Oh Well, then you're a liar

No, my name is Beverly. I said I want the Rachel, the Rachel. How old are you? Were you around for were you around for must-see TV? I'm 29 so Maybe somebody forgot Listen, I'm so sorry. I gave you the wrong haircut. Yeah Well, the Bob's guarantee is that I will always give you the right haircut provided it's the one I know. Is there, is there something, can I give you a like a free haircut next time or oh my I'm so- I don't want a Bob. You know what, this is partially

my fault for not reading the sign or interpreting it correctly. It's, I'm tapping the sign up here. It is I guess I could be more clear with the way that the sign Yeah, I mean it just because it just says I'm crazy. So oh and I figure That is what that says right? I don't read French E sure Yeah, I'm or a So that is French? I think so. It popped into my head one day, and I just, you know,

I wrote it up freehand, and I put it up there. So. Oh, you know what? Let me actually, let me just stand up here, and I'm going to turn and face the sign. Well, you are taller than I thought. Smart pants? Oh.

Use translation? Sorry, my pants have wine brain I spilled some wine on them it's yeah no I'm not drunk I got this no three two one oh never move like this before wait you gotta pay you have to pay. I'm under ceiling. I needed that haircut money to afford my next haircut. I am really running it against the wire here. Sorry guys, can I run to the bathroom and I just want to... Sure. It's bleeding again. I'm so sorry. This side. Yeah, sure. Let's take a few minutes. I'll pee while Aaron's bleeding.

Casey Clipette. That's awesome. Alright, enough good times. We have to take a break. I'll pee while Erin's bleeding. Casey Cliffette. That's seven awesome. Alright, enough good times. We have to take a break. Erin's mouth and whole front of her face down to her chin is covered in blood, so we have to go vacuum that up.

She's beauty and she's grace. She's covered in blood. We'll be back with more of Eric the Puzzler's puzzles right after this break. One, two, three, four, hey, ready to break! Hey, Addle, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Okay. So, remember how I told you guys that I was having erectile dysfunction issues and that I basically couldn't get my dick to work and you guys were just like, go to church,

sing some songs. All you gotta do is sing some songs in church and everything will be fixed. Well, guess what? I went to church, I sang all the songs and it didn't work, it didn't do anything. You were thinking of him. You were thinking of Sister Act

and we said, try hymns, H-I-M-S. H-I-M-S. Like hymns of ghosts. I was thinking about Sister X. That always gets me there. JBC, can you come sit on my bench first and then you go to Aaron's? Real talk.

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and have not been improved by the FDA. The FDA does not verify the safety or effectiveness of compound drugs. Also, ED Bone Home. Can we use it? Can we use that? Can you sing some more JPC? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

It's the most wonderful time of the place. It's tax season, baby. And I get to use rock with money. My favorite app. Hey guys. Wow, Aaron, you're sitting by a fireplace real close. Your clothes are on fire. Yep, ow.

Anyways, guys, I was just looking at Rocket Money. It's my personal finance app that finds and cancels my unwanted subscriptions, monitors my spending, and helps lower my bills all in one place. It keeps me so organized that tax season is incredibly easy for me. Aaron, I don't believe you. Tell me one thing that you've done with Rocket Money

that will make me believe that you use it. Okay, well, it finds all of my subscriptions in one place. I often times forget I've signed up for something and I end up paying for it for a couple months. And if I can see if there's something I don't want, I can cancel it with one tap. I never have to get on the phone or use customer service. They'll do it for me.

And they'll even try to get me a refund on the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower my bills by up to 20%. All you do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. Man, you shouldn't call people out like this. It always backfires when they have specifics that they use the product.

Yeah. Yeah, you challenge way too many people. Also, Erin, correct me if I'm wrong. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over 500 million and canceled subscriptions or something? Mm-hmm, JPC.

JPC. So stop wasting your money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash R-I-D-D-L-E riddle. Aaron, I bet you don't want to cancel your subscription to new clothes and burn south

because you're naked and you're covered in burns. Ha ha ha, comedy boy. Ha ha ha, comedy boy made a joke. Ha ha ha ha. No, Aaron, you're burned up pretty bad. I know, I know, and I know. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Adel, Aaron, I have amazing news for the two of you.

I always got that look in his eye. You know how for a while now I've been trying to develop superpowers by whatever means I can. I'm spilling ooze on myself. You're finding spiders. I'm finding trauma. Well, myself. You're finding spiders. I'm finding trauma. Well, finding that you should mention spiders, I got bit by a spider the other day,

maybe a little genetically modified spider, and it gave me website. Oh. Oh, sweetie, you just discovered the internet. Huh? No, no, I have a keyboard and I can go on to, anyone that I choose I just have to type in the. Yeah, you can go on any website and you can actually even make your own website with Squarespace.

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Yeah, that's actually making a lot of sense. I'm looking at Squarespace now. You can kind of set up an asset library where you can upload, organize, and access all your content from one place. And with the asset library, you're able to manage all your files from one central hub and use them across the Squarespace platform

and these spider bites. Ah, these just look effective. Real bad, that looks real bad. They're big, huh? That can't be, it's not eggs, right? You think that's eggs? If you end up doing tricks or whatever, you can host video content, organize your video library,

and showcase your content on beautiful video pages, and sell access to your videos with member areas. Can you, what's- Spider man. Aaron, what is that? You turn into the green gob. Sorry, I don't know what happened. GPC, try train climb that wall.

Oh God, I'm so tired. I think maybe the spider bites have maybe made me. It laid eggs. Yeah, low on blood, maybe low on fluids. Speaking of fluids, Squarespace has a fluid engine, a next generation website design system, and it's never been easier for anyone to unlock unbreakable creativity.

Start with the best in class website template and customize every design detail with reimagined drag and drop technology for desktop or mobile. Stretch your imagination online with fluid engine built in and ready to go on any new Squarespace site. Also, I think I have drag and drop mental powers where I can drag icons from my desktop. No, I'm using a mouse. Yeah, the boy, but take it for me captain voice head to Squarespace comm slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code riddle but but if you want to get website go to a spider cave and get bit by every one of those suckers That's not part of the ad? No, no, no, no. That's not the copy? That's not the copy?

Bell bell bell bell bell bell. We gotta get you to the hospital. All right, here we go. This man sells fake vomit. This man sells fake vomit. Pucky's puke. Snarfs barfs. Snarfs barfs.

It's not Marfs Marf or whatever anyone said. Marfs, Ralph's, Ralph's. It's Ralph's, Ralph's. Gross. Yeah, it is gross. And I feel like Ralph is like a very like a, I don't know, a home alone thing to say. Like it belonged in a certain time period and no one uses it anymore. No.

I'm gonna Ralph's. In the 90s. Yeah, it's very 90s. Maybe in the 90s, it was either Ralph or like I'm gonna Ralph in the 90s. Yeah, it's very 90s. Maybe in the 90s, it was either Ralph or like, I'm gonna go call dinosaurs. Do you remember that saying? No. I'm gonna go call dinosaurs.

No, man, we don't know what you're talking about. Look at that. No, and once again, you're old. You're old. Play that sound bite of that we play every time Adels old. It's Dick time. Welcome to wickedly talented one and only. But the other does. It doesn't.

Yeah, I assume that's the one that we play with Adels old. Yes. Um, I have a question. Mm hmm. We've been calling Adel old on the podcast for a while, but for any listener, because we have listeners who have listened to this whole podcast through like 12 times. That can't be true. I need you to figure out if someone can find the very first instance of us calling the earliest, the earliest instance of us calling Adel Olt because I have a sneaking suspicion.

I am now older than that first time that we've come out. Oh my God, you're right. Wow. I think honestly it was probably within the first 12 episodes and how old was everyone when the show started? I was still in my 20s and I'm long out of my 20s with the show. Because the show started what, 2018? 2018.

It's 2024 now, so it's like. Six years ago. I would have been 35. And I'm 35 now. Wow, you have come what you used to be dread. What fuck? 35? And I'm 35 now. So if- Wow, you have come what you used to dread. Oh no, I was 26 when the show started. If in the first year of the show, basically,

I ever called Adel old, then I am now fucking busted. And by the way, I feel it, I feel it. And JPC, I'm older than you were when I would call you old as well. And I'm older than you were when I would call you old as well. And I'm older than you were when we started. What do you mean you're calling me old? You're like two years younger than me. I'm like a hundred years younger than you, you idiot.

This is what happens when you get old. You start to get contentious. You start to get contentious. We're changing the title of this. Contankerous. Thank you. This show is now called two and a half olds. Please let me be. Definitely old Aaron you are half old.

Also I just want to say three feet deep in the grave. Is that Jared Leto's band? Yeah. I realized the other day that clip of a Delta Zim can you play that clip one more time of John Travolta? A Delta Zim. A Delta Zim. He's really struggling.

He's so he struggles so hard when he says it. Something I realized recently, maybe within the last month is that in the movie, Greece, you know, the nerd Eugene, hey, Eugene, and then they knocked the books out of his hands. That guy's name, the actor's name who plays Eugene is Eddie Dizim. So I think, I think John Travolta was like, I can't read what these letters are. He's like, this kind of looks like 40 years ago,

this looks like the actor's name on the call sheet. And he kind of, he half said Eddie Nazib. I don't believe John Travolta remembers a single name of a person he's ever worked with. I think he looks at a picture of Olivia Newt John he's like it's sort of familiar Listen to this listen to this yeah, her name is a Dina menzel now now You kind of get close with Adele Adele D, you're like, okay, but Menzel and Dazeem. What would be more different?

So a lot of people who have seen my name only on paper have called me Adele. Uh-huh. So Adelrafi, how do you think John Travolta would say my name? Okay, so Adele, Adelele Refres, Adele Refres I think you'd say Adele Dazeem quite a bit. Yeah, you'd say Adele Dazeem!

That's his catch-all. He's like, anytime he doesn't know somebody's name and says something like Big Guy or something or Champ, he's like, hey, thanks for the pizza, Adele Dazeem over here. If you don't remember someone's name, you've met them before, you don't, they look familiar, you don't remember their name, don't just try to say like friend or pal them before. You don't, they look familiar. You don't remember their name. Don't just try to say like friend or pal. Go full on a Delta Z. Oh, look who's on team Dazeem over here. Yeah.

Punch it in. He's a regular old, a Delta Z. How are you doing, buddy? If anyone ever says to me, and I hate when people say this, do you remember me or do you remember my name? That's an awful thing to say to someone. But if you have the next time someone says, I'll say, of course I do, Adele Dizzi.

You're the wickedly talented. The wickedly talented. How could I forget you? Don't weep. If John Travolta called me that, I would legally change my name to Adele Dizzi. I had this thing. I might. I still might.

This idea. Because Adina Mazzal is like a Broadway singer, right? I don't know, does Adina Mazzella is like a Broadway singer, right? I don't know. Does Adina Mazzella have like an album or like albums of music that she puts out? Yeah, it's called the Rent Original Soundtrack. OK, that's not what I'm talking about. She puts out original music as well. I think 10 years ago, what she should have done right after this event came out is she should have put out a solo album of all of her music and called it The wickedly talented a Delta Zim and it should have been like a Chris Gaines

Garth Brooks thing where she becomes a Delta Zim and she just does songs as a Delta Zim whatever that would be. I turned it for someone. She hosts SNL and it's the musical guest. And Erin missed opportunity. You have an idea to combine a Delta Zim with with maybe another Hayredd or Riddle standard. What would that be? Yeah!

Oh, Howard, Adele Dazeem and the Howard Dean Scream. Before we started recording, I said that will be the name of the children's book we will release in 2031. Adele Dazeem and the Howard Dean Scream. So look out for that. Is that Jared Lut Leto's band? Yes. Okay, here we go.

30 seconds to a Del Dezim. This woman, we're still doing the Eric the Puzzle Puzzle. This woman rents property. Okay. This is a slant. Okay, a slant, Rhyme. This is going to be a woman who rents. A woman who rents.

Tina's tenant. Tina's tenant. Apartment rents. B. A woman? A tenant? A tenant? A tenant? A tenant. Apartment rents? Apartment rents? Apartment rents? Of course I remember your name, your apartment rents. Bland lords? Landlords?

What's another word for a rental? Like a short term rental. A sublet. You're close with let, but there's another word. You might be more familiar with this for like a car. Lease, Denise's leases. Denise's leases? Yeah.

Leases, leases. It's Leases, leases. It's Leases, leases. Erin's back on the board of 100 points. Okay, this lady helps you mark trails. I love this one. It's just Sacajawea, right? You're just describing Sacajawea. This is this is a woman who helps you mark trails.

This is posts. Signs. I will say the first name. The first name of this woman nowadays has a kind of negative connotation to it. Oh. Hmm. Bitches, birch, bitches. Yeah, nowadays. What the?

Five years ago, everybody wanted to be that bitch. And then the second word of it, this is also like a slant, and this is a very specific type of trail marking that you're probably familiar with, but it's a slant and this is a very specific type of trail marking that you're probably familiar with. But it's, I would say this is a hard puzzle. I don't know about intermediate miles. No. Can you read it again? This lady helps you mark trails.

Okay. Helps you. Yeah. Well, don't worry about helps you. It's just, it's a woman's first name and then something that marks trails. Have you ever seen these? Have you ever seen when there's like- Stand up. And if I'm gonna try to get you to have the word where there's like a large rock

within a series of progressively smaller rocks balanced on top of it. And it doesn't look like it should stay up. Do you know what one of those is called? No idea, but I've seen them before. Okay, okay. I've seen them like three times in my idea, but I've seen them before. Okay, okay. I've seen them like three times in my life, but I didn't stop to ask the rocks what they were.

Wow, that's like something from a children's book. Stopping to ask the rocks what they are. That is called a Karen. Oh, Karen's Karens. It's Karen's Karens. I didn't know that that's what that was called. Yeah, I didn't know that they marked trails. I can't remember what the significance of one of them is.

But also I think that you have to build them in one of the Assassin's Creed games because I definitely remember that as being a puzzle. I've only seen them in, we saw them a few times in Iceland. And I guess the local lore is that the fairies do it where they're like, the fairies are building their condos. And it's like, I think someone just put those there. I see them a lot of like- I see them a lot of like parks and stuff,

which is they're also, it's like, oh cool. But then also you're like, hey, but you're also not supposed to do this at a park. You're just a leave it lay. Like you're not supposed to be like moving stuff around. Leave it better than you found it. Yeah, I always leave a hundred dollar bill, crisp hundred dollar bill at every park that I go through

because it's leaving it better than you've found it, baby. This person runs an agency. This person runs an agency that provides seat fillers to the Catholic Church. Pews, pews. Pew, pew. Pewdiepie. Pew, pew, pew. Pew. Hews, pews. An agency that provides seat fillers to the Catholic Church. These are people that would sit in a Catholic mass. Yes, very good. Would you like to come to my church?

Sorry, bumbling. Today's sermon, yeah, very good. That's Hughes-Pews. Cronigrations congregation. Wow. I would say it doesn't even have to be a Catholic Church. It could be a Presbyterian church. It could be a Methodist church Chris's Christians Christians Christians Christians Aaron it is Christians Christians you're back on the board with another hundred points Okay, this guy's this this is the last of the intermediate ones this guy's pickles

I'm still stills still still. Dills Dills would be good. This guy pickles anything and everything. Gary Skirbers. This guy pickles. Jars Jars. He's Jars Jars. Okay, nobody do it. Nobody do it. Nobody do the voice. Everybody cool. My mouth is bleeding again from biting my tongue. Me sir, I'll say me sir, I won't shorten it. I'll do, you just do it with the voice you say.

Me sir, Jar Jar Binks. Me sir, Jar Jar Binks. Pickles everything. This guy pickles anything and everything. This is another one that's not quite the same word. It's a little bit of a slant rhyme here, not really a rhyme, but a slant hummophone. What do you call it when you've pickled something?

You, uh... Brian, Brian's, Brian's. It's Brian's, Brian, another 150,000 points for Aaron. Whoa! Wow! Okay, then there's also some hard Aaron. Whoa! Okay. I'm rich. Then there's also some hard ones. And I think, I also thought

what the hell are you talking about? Karen's was pretty difficult, but let's go to the hard ones. Okay. This lass sells trucks. Lori's lorries. It's Lori's lorries. Last the operative word there.

This dude opened a shoe store, but was immediately sued by Nike for copyright infringement. Michael Jordan. Um, but help. Yeah. Michael B. Jordan. What's that? Michael B. Jordan.

Sneaker sneakers. Swoosh swoosh. Addle, you're so close, but it's remember the game. Remember how you play the game. Yes, yes, yes. So this, this person, this guy, this dude opened up a sneaker store but was promptly sued by Nike. For copyright infringement, you're half right with what you're guessed. Oh, Jordans Jordans. It's Jordans Jordans, yes.

Wow. This umbrae helps you make sure your garden is watered. Where's it going? Hose's hoses. Aguas, aguas. It's Hose's Hoses. I also would have accepted it. Adel, you weren't wrong.

Thank you. This SNL fan started selling latex masks of her hero's face. Hmm. This is a stretch, but I like it. It's a fan of SNL started selling latex masks of her hero's face. Kristen Wigs Wigs. Wow, I do like Wigs Wigs,

but Wig is not really a person's name. What's the name of a latex mask? Don't think about a latex mask, think about the hero's face. Who's the hero of SNL? Oh, the target lady. Target lady's target lady. Yeah, Shariot Terries, Terrio Sherry.

Colin Jost. It's funny to think about this person as the hero of SNL because in many ways I'd say that this person is kind of like the villain of SNL. Okay, villain of SNL. Oh, this is Jim Brewer's brewery. I believe this is the only person, the only person who has been involved with Saturday Night

Live from the very beginning. Lauren's Lauren's. It's Lauren's Lauren's. What's a Lauren? It's a late test masks of Lauren Michael's face. Did he leave for a little while in the 80s? Yeah, right. There was like one year.

That was the Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, that was Julie Wheatstrey. That was the Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, right. That was Julie Stryfus and Don Jr. and Anthony Michael Hall. Did you know, this is a little known fact, did you know that it's a Halloween mask of Lauren Michael's spray painted white that is Mike Myers? And did you know that Mike Myers is spray painted himself bald to become Dr. Evil?

Oh. And you think you can't learn anything listening to this show, huh? I tell the scene. You can't. And you can't. It sounds like he's at gun, like somebody's holding him at gunpoint.

I tell the scene. What's your ATM password? I tell the scene. All right. This is my favorite one. This is the last of these hard ones. This man sells gas. This is my favorite one. This is the last of these hard ones.

This man sells gas. Moils oils. This man sells gas. Yeah. No. So I like that. Shells oversteem. Shells oversteem, shell gasoline.

No, it's not shells oversteem. Shell gasoline. I do want to see a scene. I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you are pulling in your your your cars almost on empty You haven't seen another service station around and you've just pulled into Adels gas station, which is shell Silversteins Shell gasoline Hey, can I get a $50 on pump three please a greetings a huzzah a welcome adieu your cars in trouble

gasoline one gallon two Sorry, I I think I just blacked out for a second. Um, I thought you were rhyming. Um, yeah Concussions no fushion no fussing concussion the bonk on the head can end up you dead You dig a big grave. It can get real grave. Hmm Are you out of gas or you have it you're good can I just need $50 on pump I'm good Samaritan and Sarah tin was made of tin a little tin girl Augusta of wind took her around the world when she was so thin she ate not not a berry, she flew towards the sky, and hit the moon dead in the eye.

Lumière, Lumière, a filmmaker too, a candlestick brother. Can you think of glue? Elmer's and Felmer's and Rudds and Dudds. Sit in the theater, Milk Dudds, Paul Rudds, Ant-Man Quantum Leap. They're all in the screen. You and me, baby. Let's pump gasoline. This is Adelssohn and Emman Prussian. That'll be $500? That was such a ride, that was such a wild ride of people who are listening to this being like, does he know who Shell Servicing is?

And then he'd be like, he knows. He obviously does know. And then it goes a little deeper. He's like, does he know? Does he know? Hey, they had to be original. I can't do my favorite. I can't do the crocodile one or I was eaten by a lion or anything.

Aaron, speaking of Shell Servicing, do you mind putting a light in the attic? Because when JPC and I go to bed, there's nothing to turn off. Okay. Just a fun call back to your idea. To my opener. I was just trying to think of if I know any shelf silver scene poems.

Did he do a genuine anteater? The pet store told my dad, it turns out he was an anteater. Now my uncle's mad. Oh yeah. Oh, nice. And lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy an aunt eater. Now my uncle's mad. Oh yeah. Oh, nice. That lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy Jane. She wants a drink of water, so she waits and waits

and waits and waits and waits for it to rain. Yep. Erin, you know. I know too. You know two complete shell silver scene poems. You should have been the fucking shell silver scene guy and the alo should have been the fucking alo guest. Can I try you something?

Oh, go ahead. I was gonna say my favorite just very quickly is It's Giving Tree. They updated it for the new generation. It's Giving Tree. It's Giving Tree. My mother works at a library and they had a poetry night where people around the town could get up

and read their favorite poems. And I would like to submit, please. And she was like, okay. And I submitted the shell Silverstein aunt eater poem and they let me go in. And it was everyone reading beautiful poetry of all ages across the town. And then I got up and did that.

And one old man in the back laughed. And I went, I'm going to be a comedian. I'm going to chase that feeling for the rest of my life. So how old were you at this time, Erin? Like 30. No, I was like, eight or nine, second grade, third grade. Two years into the podcast or four years into the podcast, Erin decided to go to read a poem at a library. Yep. I would think letting anyone read anything out loud in Boston is a recipe for disaster.

For many reasons. I would never allow that. And Miles to go before you sleep, and Miles to go before you sleep. Fucking Yankees piece of shit. Aaron, here's what I'll say, Schild's Silverstein, far more clever than Dr. Seuss, and way less problematic than Roald Dahl. He's right in that sweet spot. This man sells gas.

You still haven't gotten this. It was a hard one. I forgot we were doing it. It was a hard one. It's not even, you're not looking for a word for gas. You're looking for a- Petrol. It's not a word for gas, you're looking for a- Petrol, Petrol. It's not a word for gas, it's a compound word

for like buying gas basically. This is like a colloquial- Phillips, Phillip. Aaron! Wow, Aaron. Aaron Key. I can't believe I got it. Fill her up.

Wow, you nailed it Aaron, it's Phillips. Wow, that was hard. That was hard. Oh, she nailed it in terms of her mouth. That's what I was going to say. So you can still see the blood, yeah? It seems like you hit your mouth one more time. Is that the casual Dracula?

Yeah. And they say podcasters don't have it hard. We put in our blood, sweat, and tears into this thing, okay? We're bleeding for you people. Right now, just blood. Eric also included some dessert puzzles. Would you like some of the dessert puzzles? Well, this is a calm down for you because you did such a great job.

I save a riddle shelf. You know how you think you're full, but you have a riddle shelf. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. A podcaster who will melt your brain with puns. Mmm. Addle, Addle. Addles, Addle. It is Addles, Addles. Addles, Addles. Yes, Addles, Addle. Addle, Addle. It is Addle's Addles.

Addle's Addles. Yes, Addle's Addles. An improviser who will do your chores for you. Keefs sweeps. Keefs sweeps. This is kind of a slant. It's not exactly... JPCs.

No. Aaron. Aaron's. Aaron's. Aaron's. Aaron's. Aaron's. Aaron's. Aaron's Aaron's Aaron's Aaron's Aaron's Aaron's Aaron's Aaron's a psychopath who makes custom computers for medium sized birds

JPC's J pair of JPC's JPC's JPC's It's JPC's JPC's and then finally. Would you watch a TV show called Aaron's errands and it's me running comedians errands with them? I'm going to the post office and stuff, I go. So it's like comedians and cars getting coffee but it's comedians with errands,

comedians with Aaron running errands? Aaron's errands, yes. And I just go and we just do little, I go to the DMV with like Mark Maron. I think that's awful. You take Mark Maron who's arguably the most sort of like pent up frustrated person in the world and you put him at the DMV which is. But you put them at the DMV with Aaron Keefe and she has nowhere else she needs to be that day. So it's just me apologizing for a man.

I do think that Canadian cars getting coffee, the tough part about that is that they're doing a leisure activity and I do think it's way more interesting to put someone in a more stress inducing activity, right? Like running an errand that you don't really want to do. Cause everybody wants to like take a break and get some coffee and like ride around in a classic car.

It's like me and Vanessa Bayer while she tries to sell her clothes at Buffalo Exchange. Do you know what I mean? I think that this- So it's almost like hot ones, but it's stressful ones. Yes. Aaron, I think you lead with the Vanessa Bayer pitch because it's infinitely more interesting

than you saying Mark Bayer at the DMB. Mark Bayer at the DMB, everyone at Hollywood's like, well, the money's kind of dried up. No, that's my pilot and I will not budge. I would also say if someone ever asked me what are the bookends of like celebrity politeness, I'd say Mark Baron on one end and Vanessa Bay on the other.

Aaron, it could almost be like a, is it old enough? Is that the Japanese Netflix series where it's like they send three year olds on little errands? It should be like old enough where a celebrity gives you an errand and you're just stressed out running around the city. I keep like dropping apples on the sidewalk. I do like the idea of like, of like pitching this show and then pitching all

of the worst possible things that could, the show could be like, it's errands, errands. So it's like an example. It's like me and Kevin Spacey arguing a parking ticket. I've been like, no. Oh God, no. So I can see an example. It's like me and Kevin Spacey arguing a parking ticket. I've been like, no. Oh, God. So I can see that. What the hell? Yeah.

Okay, what were we doing? What were we doing? We were doing the circle. It's me and Kevin Sorbo at a school board meeting. It's like, ugh. Delete, delete. Sorbo sorbet? No, it's got to be like Kasey's Macy's, Kasey's Kase's. An audio engineer who helps criminal defendants make criminal charges disappear

Casey's case. Casey's cases. I'm Casey's. All right Casey. Do you want to take a guess here? It's not Casey's cases You mix the mix of all my mom's charges Tony's alimony's that's dangerously close to a Paul of Toppkins podcast character. No, this is Casey's case ease. Casey's case ease. And what's a case E? It's what they make the cases disappear. So it's like easily I guess it could have been like that makes the cases like it's in it. It's Casey's case ease. There's there's one final one. There's one final one.

I'm sorry, I didn't scroll down far enough. I didn't see this final one. Okay. This Chica franchised a Walgreens competitor. Jules Jules. Maria CVS is Maria CVS. That's so funny. It's Eric the puzzler having a good time. Thank you so much Eric the puzzler for sending those in. Casey, do we have a voicemail?

Theme. Is it a man who made a mess? No, that's a boy's fail. Is it a place for children's gifts? No, that's a toy's sale. Is it the back end of a fish? No, that's a coy's tail. Well, so then what the hell is this?

It's just the hey riddle riddle of voicemail. I loved that, 10 out of 10. If you feel that there's a similarity between the voicemail theme and the game that we played this episode, that is because they're both from the same person. Thank you, Eric the puzzler, for submitting a voicemail theme in an accompanying game to go along with it.

Very, very nice. Honorary co-host today, honorary old man puzzles. Eric the, I will keep on saying Eric the Red. Eric the Puzzler. Eric the Red, and once again, one of history's greatest monsters. What's up? What's up?

Let's see for that, KC's KCs. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Eric Let's see for that. Casey's Casey's. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Eric. And Casey, do we have a voice mail that we can listen to? Hey, you little riddle, riddle. My name is Alex, and I have a question for you. I'm a trivia night host, and I never know what to say when I catch people obviously

cheating on their phone. Do you have any suggestions on what I could actually do or say to make sure that they feel equally embarrassed and humiliated? Thanks! Hmm. Hmm. That's a really, really great one. Wow, we had a escape room designer and a trivia host both calling or submitting to the show today. That's kind of blows Aaron's theory about interesting jobs right out of the fucking. No, it confirms it. I know it's a cheap shot. I'm not gonna take the shot. I'm a fun guy. I'm a mushroom. Fun guys, fun guys. I guess everyone knows now, GPC is a talking mushroom. He's a fun guy. He

Who knows now, GPC is a talking mushroom. He's a fun guy. He, a little red mushroom with- No cap, no cap. They got popped off. Eyes, googly eyes, and that's what GPC has been the whole time. He was popping off, no cap. Okay, here's, first one that jumps into my mind.

This is an easy one, especially because you're catching people cheating on their phones. You go back to your, you know, your host stand, you grab your microphone, maybe it's even in the middle of the round your, you know, your, your host stand, you grab your microphone, maybe it's even in the middle of the round. Can you say, hey, everybody has a reminder, we're not supposed to be looking at porn hub

on our phones, okay? You can actually get a lot of viruses on your phone by looking at porn hub, looking at you, table three. Mm-hmm, I think that's great. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Go, hey, guys, just full disclosure, I'm texting that table with all the right answers. That's why they're on their phones,

just in case anyone was curious. And I'd say just be like, that's a cheater, like that's, can you share that with the rest of the class, that kind of thing? Hey, everyone, look at this motherfucker. And make sure everyone sees it so that there's a, what you want is mob mentality.

Yeah. I would remind people that rock bottom is cheating at something that's supposed to be fun. Why are you there? Yeah, yeah. So just say to everybody before we even begin, if you look up stuff on your phone, I think it's time you call a therapist

because you're cheating at pub trivia and it's supposed to just be fun and good for your brain. Yeah, same, same. It's supposed to be a third space. I'm on my third marriage and I'm not the biggest loser here tonight. It's a little bit of, you gotta do a little self deprecating, right?

Yeah, but you just gotta say, yeah, these people are cheating. You could also yell what I yelled at medieval times that upset JPC. No, do not, I don't think so. I don't, it doesn't upset JPC as much as it shocked the entire audience who thankfully did not hear you. Yeah, I think fuck those people. I think take their picture of beer poured on their heads,

kick them out, tell them, I'm assuming you have a big burly bouncer at this place, say get these fucking people out of here, they're fucking trash, they're the scum of the earth. You could say you're my freaks of the week, you know, take their picture, put it up on the big board. Shame. You have to publicly shame these people. Yeah, some sort of shame. Hey, speaking of things that we may or may not be ashamed of, do anyone have anything to plug? Erin, we got to go to you first. You got anything to plug?

I got to plug my mouth because it is bleeding. Yes. Also, you can check out... If you're not a patron from Hello from the Magic Tavern, now's a good time to join. I've been on a lot of their bonus content recently and it's been really, really fun. And also-

You should say, oh, go ahead. I was gonna say specifically offices and bosses season four. It's been a blast and I've gotten to go on with my friend Olivia Nielsen who I'm a big fan of. Adel, do you have anything to plug? I wanna plug, and this will mean nothing to a lot of people, but this is-

It never comes here. It never comes here. I mean, I don't like wine brain. I don't like wine brain. But the dolphins in space will understand me. This is directed purely at JPC. Oh, shit. JPC, there is a place, not terribly near our place,

but maybe like a 15 minute Uber Eats drive, 20 minute Uber Eats drive. It's called Bad Ass Breakfast Burritos. And I was on Uber Eats the other day. I was like- So glad you brought this up. I want breakfast. I want breakfast. I'm not sure what to get.

I'm tired of our standbys. We ordered Uber Eats Bad Ass Breakfast Burritos. Gemma got the impossible burrito. I got the whatever their main one is. I bit into this motherfucker and my eyes rolled in the back of my head and I said, this is one of the best things I've ever had in terms of breakfast.

Gemma absolutely adored hers, we were over the moon. Is JPC, have you tried this? So I've been to this place many times. I, since the baby is born, I've calmed down on the like getting delivery because for necessity's sake, but most of the time I don't get delivery, I just pick things up. And I saw this place a long time ago, I love a breakfast burrito, I love a breakfast taco, but I love a breakfast burrito as well.

It's in Avondale and I don't get delivery, so I drove there to pick it up. It is a ghost kitchen. So it is one of these factory kitchens where it's just like lockers in the front and a one person kind of out of reception desk And then a million Uber eats people so I pulled up and they were like what app and I was like nope Just a just a man just a man How do I how do I do this? They're like well you got your your app should say the locker. I go again I don't know. I just I'm just looking for my order. I'm a civilian I'm not off duty. I'm just I'm just looking for my order. I'm a civilian. I'm not off duty.

I'm just me. I'm just a guy who came from a burrito. First time I had it, absolutely loved it. It was delicious. But I had to stop going to that place because it's like I said, about a 20 minute drive. And it's a burrito. So it's like completely wrapped, you know,

like sealed and wrapped. And it needs to be to keep it hot for like the transit to home. And every time I ordered there, I would get a impossible meat burrito and like two times in a row when I brought it back to my house, it was a regular meat burrito. And I said, well, I just can't go here anymore

because it's either I just toss it and then I waste or I go back, I like drive back another 40 minutes to the cart. So I was like, eventually I just have to stop. That's a bum. So maybe that was, you know, years ago, maybe their quality has gotten better. But also don't love the idea of a ghost kitchen, especially because like ghost kitchens,

I feel like have really fun things at them. But you're like, whoa, what's this place? And then you realize what it is. You're like, oh, what's this place? And then you realize what it is. You're like, oh, it's this. This isn't a fun quirky restaurant and say, you know, it's a those ghost kitchen things are so weird. They're just if you ever have a chance to go into a ghost kitchen, I highly recommend you do it because it is like walking into a spaceship.

Spooky spooky stuff. Very spoo. JPC, do you have a recommendation or a review to read? I do have a review to read. I wanna read this review. This is for, I don't know, I'm gonna say I bass for him. It could also be I bass for him. Wow, bass and bass spelled the exact same way.

Isn't that fun? And Eric the Puzzler, can you do something with that? I bass for him. Maybe I bass for him. I'll never get this right. The review says a must read Jupiter by forever quick Casey in the recording. Oh my God, they got us. Oh no. I didn't wait. Oh, it slipped through my hands. You thank your honor. Oh God.

Jerry, Aaron, Keith and John Patrick Collins. Casey told me the editing. Emory Parrish to the music. Bogo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nebourg. 9, 2, 3, 4, 8, RIP THE BRICK DONG. Whee! Nice. Whee! It's the funniest thing to say after recording a video. Whee! Whee! Wee! Nice. Wee! That's the funniest thing to say after recording a picture.

Wee! Wee! This is a fun ride, y'all. I love this ride. Hey there, George's and Harrison's! If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of This Day in Improv History. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.

Hey, riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and you get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gun podcast.