Hey Riddle Riddle - #295: Can You See My Muscles Through the Phone? w/ Casey Toney

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

We have Audio Daddy Casey 'Sleepo' Toney on the podcast to promote JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest:Casey ToneyEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Can I tell you something? What? Is that 321.go? But I forgot that I had to press record too. It's totally fine. We're going to start it just a second later, but amateur. Wow.

Kind of a hypocrite, huh? Making us do stuff on time? Hey, sir, are you nervous to be a guest? Adel, what you said earlier really fucking shook me, dude. Total ravage around. When I didn't put the title on the chat for Aaron and you said, do your job, I was like, oh my god, man. Double duty of this booty.

So Casey, we'll get you in here pretty quick. We just do a little intro. We always ask people what the relationship with Riddles and Pussies. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this, don't do this! Hey, uh, Adel Aaron. Um, we take a look at this. What's going on?

The fuck. Um... Is there a problem? I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to say problem because I don't want to... I don't want to alarm anybody, but um, look at the spot. Don't look at the spot, but like look past the spot.

Like look at me like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be say problem because I don't want to I don't want to I don't know alarm anybody But um look at the spot don't look at the spot, but like look past the spot like look at me like like we're talking Okay, I'm like out of the corner your eye. Yeah, look at the spot where the editor of the podcast usually sits Okay, yeah, look at the spot now look at the spot. But don't look at the spot. I think I said something.

Like I said something fun. You're 11 or my 11. I don't know what that means. I keep emailing you. I don't know what that means. And when you drive, you put your hands at 10 or two. Oh, I can't drive. Oh, OK, great. Yeah. They say my blood sugar is too low. I could just go to sleep. And I said, OK, never wake up. Wait, what are we, I'm looking for where the editor is. Do we look at the spot where the editor usually says, now look at the spot where the guest of the podcast usually says.

Wait, Casey is running between the two. He's running between the two spots. Hey, Casey. Hey, Casey. I'm gonna confront him. Hey, Casey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, just off right on mic, Casey. Hey, Casey. I'm gonna confront him. Hey, Casey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. Yeah. Oh, yeah, just off right on mic, dude.

Smoked a hole. Sorry. Pack of cigarettes. Oh. Yeah, sorry, what's up? Casey, are you trying to edit and be a guest today? Yeah, I just wanted to try it out. I figured maybe, you know, like if it was like not a difference for you guys, it wasn't like a distracting thing in your peripheral vision, then like,

uh, just a second, we're gonna, we're gonna huddle. Hey guys, huddle. Yeah, what you know, huddle up. Yeah. Okay. He's trying to have it all. Look, he's throwing his hat up in the air and it's freezing.

How was he doing that? That's actually incredible. My city. Do we want to let this happen? Do we want to let this happen? That's all pros and cons. Okay, pros and cons. Pro. Pro. He'll probably he'll probably edit this the best he's ever edited anything to make himself sound good. So,

con. We literally can't stop it from happening. Yes. That's a con for us. Pro. He's he's funny. He's kind of funny so far. Right. Con. He's kind of funny so far. I know. He's gonna distract from us. Okay our bullshits. Okay. Funnyer than us. Why don't we do this? Why don't we do this?

He's a fan favorite. Everyone loves him and always wants to hear more from him. Con, everybody loves him and they're always freaking talking about it all the time. Why don't we do this? Why don't we do this? Yes. Why don't we try just kind of introducing him? See how it goes.

We'll do five minutes. We'll see how it goes. Hey, Casey. Hey, Casey. We're going to put you on a trial goes. Hey, Casey. Hey, Casey. We're gonna put you on a trial period. Yeah, running. Okay, running. Say the guest chair.

We're gonna put you on a trial period. So, thank you for being a guest. Yeah. JPC, what's the... Yeah, I got this. Okay. Jerks and germs from all across the worms, please. Welcome to the show.

You know them. You love them. The number one audio daddy, Casey. Tony. Welcome to the show, you know him, you love him, the number one audio daddy, Casey Tony! Hahaha, yeah! Sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet boat, sweet, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, talking back even with the mic off. So this is no different. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you leave the mic on during our sound checks and you laugh and we say, what the fuck? We're not even funny yet. Casey? Casey Tony.

Welcome to Hey Runaway Rural. It's your first time on the official main feed podcast. What do you have to say for yourself? Yeah, God, what episode is this? 295? 295? How many episodes did it take your first editor to get on the show? I think it was like 20, 30. Shut your fucking mouth. Shut your fucking mouth. Casey, cut his mic. Casey, cut his mic. Casey, here's something we ask all of our guests. What is your relationship with riddle podcasts?

What is your relationship with Riddle Podcasts? Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Well, I guess I edit one so poor. We'll plug at the end, actually. I would say, yeah. We'll plug at the end. I've had a literal working relationship with Riddle Podcasts. My relationship with Riddles, I truly can't tell if I'm fonder of them now

than I was before. We have that effect on people. But I'm right there along with you guys. Like I'm just like riding the waves of the occasional really good riddles and the lots of really bad ones. I'm glad that you guys don't do as many bad riddles anymore. Okay, deleting my notes for the episode. Okay, we're just gonna start fresh.

I think it's fair to say that listener riddles, whatever riddles we have will be better than blue buck shit. In case you probably experienced more riddles than even our listeners, because not only do you hear all of the riddles from each episode, but you hear the riddles that we kind of just do with each other when we're hanging out at our free time.

The before the episode riddles, the after the episode riddles, the text thread riddles. We're always like, new riddle for you guys. Can't get enough. On our live stream the other day, I was like, should I read some riddles? And J.P.C. went, no. Well, Casey, I hope that you were having fun

in the first five minutes of this podcast because there's not gonna be much fun going forward because we have some riddles for you. We have some riddles that we're going to force upon you today, but like you said, I think they're listener submitted, so I think they're gonna be some good ones. Let's start with a warmup, shall we? Shall we all start with a warmup?

Let's start with a warmup. La la la la. I'm ready. Now, Erin, what did that warmup for you? My soul. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la No, I could cut that, but I won't. No, he won't. I am dark and light. I am bitter and sweet. I am hot and cold. What am I? Just the way I like my coffee.

Wow, Casey got his first riddle correct. Aaron, you got it late. Casey got it first. Coffee. Was that really right? Was that true? It is coffee. Yeah, it's coffee.

Oh, fuck, man. I was joshing. The new Casey is getting all the riddles right. You're getting all the attention. And I hate the new KC. I'm going to my room. Erin, Erin, you're going to learn to love. JBC, I told you it was too soon to have another host.

You're right. Here, you know what? We're going to do a scene. Erin, let's do a scene. Why don't we do a scene? KC, you are going to be, oh, this is a't we do a scene? Casey, you are going to be... Ooh, this is a throwback for you. Casey, you are gonna be working as a barista.

Oh, God, Jesus. You are the next customer in line. And Casey, you just sold your last coffee. You don't have any more coffee. Hi. Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get for you? Hi. Could I have a grande coffee, hot coffee with some maybe cinnamon syrup and a little bit of oat milk, please? Yeah, okay. And as a special promotion, we're doing the exact same drink but without the coffee for the exact same price. You want to try that?

It's decaf. It's decaf... It's decaf, it's decaf coffee. It's decaffeinated inherently. And what else you said you wanted? Oat milk and what was the? Cinnamon syrup. In syrup without the coffee. I would like full calf coffee please.

Thank you. Okay, okay, gotcha. I have a business meeting in like 20 minutes. I'd love to get it back in time. All right. So, full cup of milk and syrup and... Coffee! And what was that? You said coffee?

Yeah, I would like a coffee with not a full cup of... a full cup of oat milk with cinnamon syrup sounds kind of disgusting. Um, I need coffee. Okay, were you thinking of a latte? Nope. Okay. Not a latte of a latte? Nope. Okay. Not a latte, because I don't want espresso. I want, and I don't want decaf coffee, and I don't want just a cup of milk.

I want hot. I can't be real with you here. Yeah? We're out of coffee. We're out of coffee. My boss said to cover for him. You're Starbucks. Yeah, I know.

I know it's bad. Um, I'd still like a coffee though. Can you run across the street to Pete's Coffee and sort of maybe get me something? Hey, welcome to Pete's Coffee. How can I help you? Yeah, um, can I get a... Uh, I think it was a tall cup of oat milk with syrup. And I think that was it.

Uh, yeah, do you... So that's just one black coffee. Hot black coffee? Coffee! Coffee, right. Yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah, the coffee, hot black coffee? Coffee, coffee, right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the coffee please. Okay, so just one cup piping hot black coffee.

Oh no, but with the milk and the syrup, you have that? Oh yeah, we're actually running a special right now where we're doing all that goes into a normal, you know, coffee, milk, syrup. But what we're doing is we're replacing the milk and the syrup with just coffee. Hi, welcome to Dunkin' Donuts. What can I get for you? Hey, so I'm being held at gunpoint right now across the street and I need $100.

Seeing. Yeah, I would never cover for my boss like that. Wow, Casey, you really put all of your customer service skills on display, fully on display there. Yeah, man, it's been a long time. I have not only lost my customer service skills, I've lost my social skills entirely. Same. Just going to Starbucks and be like,

hey, I'll have a cup of coffee. I have my hands in the air just so you can see my hands the whole time. Not the red. No funny business. I don't wanna any trouble. Just want a coffee. Okay, so we have another riddle.

This is, again, I think kind of a warm up riddle. And by that, I mean probably what we've done before. But these are all from 2018. So get off my back from Max and Ellie. And believe it's Ellie, they write, my nose is long, my back is broad and round. In cold weather of great use I'm found. No load I carry, yet I puff and blow,

as much as heavy loaded porters do. What am I? Cigarette. Snowblower. Cigarette, snowblower. Cigarettes and snowblowers and something. Oh, I didn't know we had Rufus Wayne right on the podcast. Cigarette, snowblower, snowblower, snowblower, Cigarettes and chocolate milk, that's a kid. I didn't know we had Rufus Wayne right on the podcast. I never knew I was a little boy.

Cigarettes and chocolate milk, that's a kid. A kid is smoking. If it's not cigarettes or snow blowers or whatever that was, is this an elephant? Huh, no. Are we testing my elephant knowledge right now? All right, now, okay, Mr. Tito, give us some elephant knowledge, please.

Are elephants good in cold weather? Oh, they do okay. I mean, at the zoo, they stay mostly inside. Look, that's the thing is. I do okay. It's like polar bears, like the polar bears will be out in the summer at the zoo. You know what I mean? These are animals built for cold.

They just lose a lot of weight and shed a lot of fur and then stay in the cold water a lot. Yeah, sun's out, gun's out. Same thing for the elephants, they'll spend a lot of time like back in their private area indoors but they can come out in the cold. I mean, didn't Hannibal bring an army of elephants over the snow covered mountains to fight a battle a battle. Thank you Adam always saying that

Animal burris You know how you know how you had that backlash about being a landlord he brought all those elephants Is this Cyrano de Bourgiat? What is it give us a hint read it again? My nose is long my back is broad and round and in cold weather of great use I'm found no load I carry yet I puff and blow as much as heavy loaded loaded porters do I think long nose in puff and blow Yours you're you're you're getting closer with fireplace. We're in the neighborhood No, we're out of the neighborhood the fireplace fireplace neighborhood, it does, the flamethrower's not even allowed to block.

Do you guys ever see the Mr. Rogers where he pulls out a flamethrower? Yeah, that was the last episode, right? He puts on his sweater, takes off his shoes, and he takes off his sweater, he just war paint the green his eyes. A radiator? Just takes a flamethr throw to all the puppets.

This would be something that would be you would need with like a fireplace. Maybe need. Oh, that thing that's like a flute. Aaron, Aaron, do you know what that thing is called? No. Oh, oh, God, what is it? What is it? It's so funny. It's like a cute little like it is so funny. It's like a little accordion that farts air. Yeah, what is it? It's so funny. It's like a cute little like It is so funny. It's like a little accordion that farts air. Yeah, what is it? It's so cute.

What is it called? It's a... A snoo-di. Okay, okay. I'm going to the top of the tower and I'm ringing the bell. Bell. Okay. And then I'm having some cheery... Bellos. Bellos. It's a bellow.

Oh, duh. I'd like to see a scene. You are all in sort of a Victorian house, and Adel, you are their housekeeper, our butler, who's sort of bellowing the fireplace to keep the Lord and Lady warm, Played by KCNJPC. Okay. Okay.

Ah! Madame, Miser, the fire is ready. Please if I may escort you to the, uh, couch near the fireplace. Oh hurry up, Chancy, it's so dreadfully cold enough of your long speeches. Warn this place up. I've nearly died of consumption. Yes, of course. Master, I always forget you from the south.

Let's... Okay, you should feel the flames if you sit right here. Let's get you some... Pendleton blankets to wrap those around your... ...wastes and neck and some hot... Enough of your handziness, Chancy. Please, warm the room! No, I... I did. I did.

And here's some hot cocoa. Now I shall... Now I'd like to match and hold it under your feet, so you both... Finally! Now dip our fingers in the hot cocoa, please, Johncy. Yes, of course. Okay, let's... And here we go. Thumb first, sir.

Thumb first? What are we? What are we, paws? Of course, of course. Pinky first, old man. Pinky first! Yes, of course, Pinky first. Here we go. Pinky for Madame. Miss, and watch all of my jewellery. Yes, of course. I wouldn't want to dip my... Y-Y-Y-Y-Y in the co-co-co. Then be sure to dip my living hand, not my dead one, Chauncey. Oh, sir, please tell me the story of how you lost it. He didn't lose it.

He still has it. It's a hand. Still attached? No, not lost it in terms of we don't see it. Lost it like you lose a loved one. They pass away. How did your hand pass away, so tell the story. Oh well, I believe it was.

Ah yes, the piano. Play the piano, Tom. The piano forte. The piano forte. The story's become a song. Got my finger stuck at the keys. Oh, it's such a dreadful tale he was trying to play piano. Never practiced at all, got his hands stuck at the keys, smashed out on it hard.

I didn't know you weren't supposed to put your hand in there and smash it. Intentionally. Very good, sir. We blamed you for that, Chancy. You didn't tell us. Of course, and I self-flagellated, erm, for many... Oh, is that what that horrible smell is? I have any time I stoke a fire I have unbelievable flagellants You shouldn't be eating your Lord's cheese chonsy. Oh, yes You get one ration of butter one ration of bread and that is enough for you and whatever family you may or may not have yes, of course

Uh, can I answer to you sir? Well, of course he was addressing me my dear as you know for sure how dare you address the lady of the house John C My apologies. Can I go? My apologies, my apologies. Can I go? Yes, you can go fetch us some hotter cocoa in bigger matches. We're practically freezing in here. Yes, of course. I'll be right back. Chauncey?

Yes? Do you like your job? At times. We're going to have to try harder, like that, not the case. Yes, I'll do my best. What could we do to make you more comfortable here, Chauncey? Hmm. Well, I've been thinking about it and if you're honestly asking I think I feel lonely at times Would it be that the town magician might come in here and

Alive some of the furniture or Chaun chance he wants to fuck the down magician insane it can rearrange yay I loved that I could I could do a full Patreon of that those three every butler gets their two rations of butter and grain or whatever and then they get to fuck the magician once a

year there's two sayings I know in's two sayings I know in life. Two sayings I know in life. Every dog has its day and every butler gets its two rations and fucked by the local magician. And we all know those phrases. Those are known. Yes.

It's kind of like how like a barber was a doctor back then. A magician was also somebody who would come and fuck a butler. The Tom Fuck. Yeah. Every job was kind of two things. And they used to, there used to be the and fuck a butler. The time fuck. Yeah. Every job was kind of two things. And they used to, there used to be the phrase fuck a butler. Of course, that meant, that was literal at the time. But now it means something else, of course.

Adol is so smart. I love all the cool stuff you know. Thank you. It's incredible. For somebody who doesn't know how to use Google, this is really like. Oh, got him. Got him. Got him.

Well, I just graduated from wizard school, so I'm excited to get to town and start doing some magic. Great. Here's your castle. Here's where you'll be sleeping. Here's all the butlers. They're very horny. It's been a while since I've been out of a audition in town. Work your magic. Okay, we got some riddles. These are riddles from Frida. Frida wrote these riddles. Frida wrote these riddles. Okay. Them own damn self. Where fingers walk and numbers talk upon a field of gold, hard to tear, I aim to share the way to those who called.

What am I? A quilt? Erin, it is not a quilt. It's like a 24 karat gold macbook? I would, Erin, it's, Erin, you used to participate in those strongman contests. You would get up on stage all oiled up and you would try to tear a quilt in half, right? And I never could. And I'd get booed off the stage and I'd go, fuck you!

Fuck you! You come up, you'd try to tear it and the next guy would come up and tear the quilt easily. And you'd say, I loosened it up. We all saw I loosened up the fibers. Always run a quilt underwater. I've never been more aware of my ADHD than in this moment because you started talking and like my eyes roll back in my head like a mentat and dune.

And but the calculations I were doing were just like, you know, it's like little monkey with the symbols kind of thing like truly what can you say that riddle again? Casey, you are truly one of us. Yeah. I can say with authority that that is the exact same experience that all three of us have when one of the other ones is reading a riddle. I literally am like, whoop, oh, you can only see the whites of my eyes.

And it's like do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Casey, that's our secret. We're always checked out. Yeah. And we all have ADHD. Hey, I think my Mintat is just doing Yackety Sacks, whatever I ask it, math problems. Can I get a different mint hat please?

Okay, yes, we can read it again because it wasn't quilled. We're fingers walk in numbers talk. Wow, Adel remembers it. What if you just did the whole thing? Sorry, I'm just practicing my monologue for an audition, bro. If Adel, if you repeated that whole rental back to me, I would be so shocked to my fucking core.

Well, bucklin' bitch. They're fingers talkin' numbers walk. A golden face that has great lace. Who am I? Three, six, nine. Another day, another destiny. This never-ending road to Calgary. We zoom out and it's a mentat.

Their eyes are rolled back. It's a mentat. Fresh goes mentat. fresh ghost mentat. Where fingers walk in numbers talk upon a field of gold. Hard to tear, I aim to share the way to those who called. The way to those you called, what am I? This is tough. Upon a field of gold.

Hard to tear, I aim share to the way to those you called it's like the golden ratio or something is this no it is not the golden ratio that's not really close but there's a word in there that's close to another word that's the answer I don't know if that's a good hand in gold and ratio and golden ratio is it a rake is it no um the I Will say I don't think I think these are like of a bygone era But we all grew up in a time where these I think were things that we were familiar with and and probably used But no more you would not I don't think you would even find one of these anymore VHS rotary telephone telephone telephone. Telephone.

No, but you're on the right track. You're thinking rotary telephone. Reaper. Stay in that general area of the house. Baby, can I tell you something? This riddle has just changed to old things people don't use anymore. The words that you said mean nothing to me.

I'm just like, let's name some old things. Yakback, tape player. I think just like, let's name some old things. Yackback, uh, tape player. I think upon a field of gold is a good, is a good, because part of this, if you can get. It's not gold, but it's close to gold. Yellow. Yellow. Yellow. No, you got it.

It's yellow. So you said it's in the same room as the telephone, the same area. Where fingers walk, where fingers walk in numbers talk upon a field of gold hard to tear that I share When you're talking about the quilt tearing I even imagined someone tearing a phone book because that's like a prototypical example But like never yeah, never made that connection at all. Anyway, well, I'm going to start typing down your riddles as you say them. That's what I'm going to do.

We're going to see a scene, Adel, you and Casey are going to be, in case you're going to be like the announcers at one of these strongman competitions. Sure. Aaron, you're a person who's trying to prove something to yourself and you're trying to tear a phone book in half. Incredible. Coming up next to the stage, all the way from Dallas, Texas, we have Mrs. Buff Orvington. Tommy, what do you know about Mrs. Buff Orvington?

Well, Dick, I got a good feeling about Mrs. Buff, but unfortunately I left my car running outside. So we really got to just push through. That's right. And is it true that anytime you have a sense that someone's going to do really well, your knee starts as well? It's sort of like a weather situation, is that right? Yes. And then also my teeth start to bleed and my eyes hurt and my ears ring and dear God, I need to go to the doctor

Yeah, I don't think you're prescient. I think you are incredibly malnourished. Please welcome to the stage Mrs. Buff Orvington Speaking of swollen knees hers are rattling like the dickens And I had to say it's incredibly strong of someone to... be vulnerable and show fear. She was clearly pumping herself up. That's gonna be... Oh, 10 points from the judges for that. Ow! Ow!

Okay, she broke her own fingers. Incredible. She's breaking her own fingers, which shows a lot of strength. Okay, and now it... Oh, God, it hurts so bad to do this. If you have a good reason not to be to not be able to lift it, you do get to go on to the next round at a technicality. This is an advanced maneuver, Dick. Oh, Tommy, this is incredible. I'm such a loser. Oh, my God. Tommy, this is incredible. She's calling an ex. This is we've never seen such a feat of strength. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Okay, no, hold on. And it looks like they

have her phone tapped so we can hear the other end. All right. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Okay, now hold on. And it looks like they have her phone tapped so we can hear the other end. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Hi, hi, it's me. Hi. What? Yeah, hi, I'm on stage. It's two in the morning. Oh my god, that means you're on London time then, huh? Yeah, with my wife. Yeah, my wife. Oh god, your wife. Wow! Truly the strongest woman I've ever seen. The judges are in rapture. Ow!

It hurts. Look, you can't keep calling me, OK? I'm with the queen now. Please don't. Take it back. OK, and Tommy, it looks like she's about to flex. She's about to flex on her ex. Hey, let's see.

Let's see what her flex is. Can you see my muscles through the phone? Oh, it's a to flex on her ex. Let's see what her flex is. Ah! Can you see my muscles through the phone? Oh, it's a literal flex. See? I think we got an episode title. Can you see my muscles through the phone? Can you see my muscles through the phone? Can you see my muscles through the phone?

OK, you guys did an absolute dog shit job with that riddle, but we have one more from freedom before we take a break So maybe maybe their second riddle will be something that you guys are capable of please Riddle number two. I'm typing up against the sky. A metal bed is raised up high Planted as a buttercup Above which is a rose last in line is a nettle green, not one of which grows. Their heads are round and bloom and turn spectators hate the rose. Yet strangely for the nettle yearn.

Oh my God, this is so hard. This is like gardening porn. What is this shit? That's not a real. Is it berries? It's cherries? I do think Frida said that they when they said the evil that they wrote their own riddles and they were like none of my friends like them Okay, here's what I typed. This is You're dictating this now. I forgot up against Up against sky metal bed raised high planted buttercup rose last in line nettle green not grow heads round spectators hate rows Something something did I get the like do I have the core? Do I have everything? I need to solve this

I think you almost have everything that you need Okay, I'll be against the sky metal bed is raised up high planted is a buttercup Above which is a rose last in line is nettle green none of which grows their heads around and bloom in turn spectators hate the rose yet strangely for the nettle urn hmm I honestly I like this little I think that you guys are gonna love this rental once you get the rental so spectators hate the rose makes me think of Pete Rose who cheated in Honestly, I like this rental. I think that you guys are going to love this rental once you get the rental. So spectators hate the rose makes me think of Pete Rose, who cheated in baseball and then everyone hated him.

Are we getting close? Are we getting close? Adel is getting close to a defamation lawsuit. He played for the Cincinnati Reds. Cincinnati Reds. Uh, okay. You're closer with red than you are with Pete Rose. Okay.

So, so I'm just thinking of like, uh, I'm trying to think of analogies for the metal green and stuff because everybody is like enjoying hurting themselves because metal green or a metal like it that you touch it and it stings really bad, right? And is not the deal with metal? Yes. But that's not important for this. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right

I'm gonna just dump my brain But you are you said like you said analogy and I think analogy is a metaphor. This is metaphor metaphor metaphor Yeah, yes, this is a bed built outside. It's a little better raised up high Metal raised up high. I will say it's not a bed of flowers. Is it okay? Metal dead raised up high. I will say it's not a bed of flowers. Is it, okay, boo-ee-boo-ee. The flowers are a metaphor. This is organic or man-made?

Man-made, for sure man-made. I guess it's metal, yeah. This is something outside, or a man-made object outside. Not a build. A bridge, green and rose. It's not a bridge. Satellite? So, nettle, buttercup, and rose. That would be green, yellow, red.

Oh, yeah. Oh, a soft light. Yes, this is a traffic light. Oh, this is a good riddle. Spectators hate the rose, yet strangely for the nettle yarn? I like this riddle. This is fun. You know what? I like the rose because I like a nettle urn? I like this, Ronald. This is fun. You know what? I like the rose because I like a quiet moment

of contemplation at a red light. Maybe I'm just built different, but. What the fuck are you talking about? I'd like to see a scene. Yeah, please. You guys are a stoplight. JPC, you are red. KC, you are green and Adel, you are yellow.

Okay. Hey, what if after me, we just do yellow? What if we go from red to yellow? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, we had? I'm just saying, well, we just changed up the order. Let's just change up the order just once. We go from red to yellow. Slow down. You-

Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. You want to change the order. We've been doing this for so long. Um, Green, what do you think? Look, I'm Lucy Goosey, baby. Whatever you guys say goes, you notice it? Okay, okay. I mean, I'm always the one putting an absolute stop

to everyone's ideas. Okay, I'm always the one saying, no, we can't do that, we can't do that, we can't do that. Just once, I wanna be the one who says yes, and we just, maybe the order's random. Maybe we go from yellow back to red. Maybe we just do yellow, red, yellow, yellow, red, yellow, yellow, red for a while, huh?

Okay, I think, am I taking too long? I should go, I should go. Somebody else talk. How about this? Uh, okay, um, I think, um, uh, am I taking too long? I should go, I should go. Uh, somebody else talk. How about this, how about I just turn, I'll talk to the guy across perpendicular to us, across the way. We all go green for a while. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, red, red, red. And then you can have as much yellow and red as you want after that.

Hey, red, hey, red, hey, red. Hey, red. What? What? Did you hear, Did you hear what he said perpendicular? Yeah, I- What did he learn that word? He's been going to school? None of us have been going anywhere, okay? Yellow, you're overreacting. We're all here, we're all here, and we're all doing our best, okay? Okay. Why don't you just calm down? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. okay? Hey, I couldn't help but mention,

here in my name mentioned, I'm green from the other side of the light. I wouldn't mind if we just did all green, if that's something everybody's interested in doing. I wouldn't mind at all. Why not mingle a bit, you know, get it going. Next on the 6 p.m. news, there has been absolute mayhem in the city today the

traffic lights seem to have a mind of their own and they're all green several hundred of accidents have happened let's go to Derrick Waters with the traffic Derrick what's going on out there thank you so much Diane I am here my name is Derrick Waters my handle on Instagram is at Derek Waters. What do you mean? Oh, shit. That's insane. Yay.

Yay. I love the field reporter giving you all of its socials first. You guys did an absolutely great job with that for you to second riddle. And so, you know what you get? You get a little break. Oh, thank you. You get a little break A little relief And when we come back not only will we have more riddles, but we will have the real reason why Casey Tony has graced us on

The podcast today. This is a mid episode tease Oh, the plugs that come at the end of the episode. This is insane. Why did you beat your head, Brick to Brick? Hey, Aaron and JPC, it's me, DonnieDNA, here to tell you about Helix. Helix mattresses? DonnieDNA, God, you're so familiar. Have we seen you in an ad before Donnie DNA? Well, no. Well, I used to work at the museum. I'm a double helix.

And then I got fired. But I am now supporting Helix mattresses. OK, I'm very happy for you. I absolutely love my Helix mattress. I have them in Nightlux and it is the best sleep of my life. And I heard about their Second Chance mascot program and I'm really glad that they gave you another shot, Donnie. Thank you so much.

And I recommend getting two Helix sleep mattresses and stacking them on top of each other, a double Helix. Oh, that's funny. Is that really something that, is that a you recommend or is that something that they want you to stress in the ad? It's a me, It's a me recommend. That's what you think. Okay, great.

The Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses including the award-winning Luxe collection, which I love, and the newly released Helix Elite Collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers and even a mattress made just for kids. And just like DNA, everybody is unique and everyone sleeps differently. That's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. And also just like DNA, it ships to your door free of charge. Hold on.

Wait, that might not. Helix does that. For sure Helix does that. All you need to do is take the Helix sleep quiz and find your perfect mattress in just under two minutes. And your personalized mattress is shipped straight to your door free of charge like JPC said. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I stole T-Rex bones. Oh, that's why. Oh, we didn't ask. We didn't ask though. That's why, is that why you got, is that why you got it? Okay, yeah, sure, yeah. Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than sleeping on it in your own home. And that's why they offer a hundred night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress.

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Wait a second, wait a second. I'm seeing that Donnie DNA's got these two mattresses stacked together lifting up a mattress and Donnie, there's dinosaur bones in between these. Donnie. Adal and JBC, thank you for hopping on this zoom. I just feel like we haven't had any like real talk where we're cutting to the chase in a long time. And I just really wanted to like have a real talk with you guys.

Oh, cut it. Chase it. If we're talking real, um, little tidbit I picked up, 52% of men over 40 experienced some form of ED between the ages of 40 and 70. So I know that's what I'm talking about. Yes. Yeah. Thankfully, I found a solution found on my own. Hems, have you heard of Hems? Hems is changing that, changing the ED issue by providing affordable access to ED treatments like sex choose all online.

I saw that actually by watching Mr. ED if you've seen that program from the 60s. Aaron, as long as we're being friggin' real, I mean, why don't I get real? Who doesn't wanna have better sex? But if you have ED, you may be struggling and dragging your feet on solving the problem. Don't put off having a better sex life any longer. Check out HIMS Sex Choose and bring a new level of excitement and confidence to your

sex life if we're being real. HIMS provides access to clinically proven generic alternatives to Viagra and Cialis up to 95% cheaper with options as low as $2 per dose, plus a range of other options, including the new sex chews. And the process is as simple, 100% online, no uncomfortable doctor's visits. Aaron, I know we're just talking here, okay? We're just gonna spitball and nobody's reading off a script. But what I'm talking about is that there's no insurance needed, baby.

You pay one low price for your treatments, online visits, ongoing shipments, and provider messaging. One low price. Oh, and they ship to you for free and discreet packaging. Hymns has hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers, so if ED is getting you down, it's time to change that. Erin, thank you so much for putting this together so that Adelaide could talk to you about ED. Oh my God, of course! This is like so nice of you. Yeah, so nice.

I'm happy that we're all going to that EDM festival for erectile dysfunctional men. Actually, we should sell our tickets because now we have HIMS. Start your free online visit today at HIMS.com slash Riddle. That's H-I-M-S dotcom slash riddle for your personalized ED treatment options. HIMS.com slash riddle. Prescriptions require an online consultation with healthcare provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply. See website for details on important safety information, subscription required, price

varies based on the product and subscription plan. Sex-user component products and have not been approved by the FDA. The FDA did not verify the safety or effectiveness of compound drugs. And I am using the same type of voice to talk, but this is not required stuff to talk about. I'm just using the same type of voice. And I am jealous and I am also using the same type of voice because I like to talk about it. Aaron and JBCR, are you making fun of me?

You might be making fun of me and I hate this. So let me get this straight. You're Adel and you're Aaron, is that correct? Close enough, I'm Adel and that's Aaron. Ah, I'm sorry. The Hinchman Union just sends one email when I get some new Hinchmen. Thanks for filling in on short notice. This is my spaceship.

Welcome. How was the flight up? Bumpy. So basically what we're going to be doing here is we're going to be shooting a rocket full of money at America. And that is part of my evil plan. Oh my gosh, you know what that makes me think of? My favorite app.

Oh, Rocket Money. Oh my god, I don't stop talking about it. I love Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. I was doing my taxes the other day. First things first, I opened my Rocket Money app, and it helped me keep track of all of the spending

I did in the last year. Wait, what's this now? It's Rocket Money. I mean, truly the evilest thing on Earth is paying for subscriptions you don't know about or don't need or want. That's true evil. Yes!

Rocket Money helps eliminate that. That's why I'm doing this whole thing. I built the rocket full of money because I haven't been paying my subscriptions and I was like, you want some money? How about I shoot it at you via a rocket from space? But there's an app, you say? Uh-huh. And they will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you.

By up to 20%, all you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll deal with the customer service for you, isn't that amazing? Okay, this sounds exclusive. This isn't just, this isn't for me, right? Is it, it's only a select few, can obviously use a service this powerful? No, this is for everybody. Actually, Rocket Money has over five million users and is saved a total of five hundred million in canceled subscriptions Saving members up to seven hundred forty dollars a year when using all of the apps features I mean, I didn't realize I was paying for the Tom Arnold Arnold of the month club

Yes, that's one of mine Actually still want that one. It's very good. What is an Arnold of the Month? Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Can I tell you the worst part? What's that? What?

I built this whole spaceship, I built the rocket filled with money. I don't even have a name. Awwww. Dr. Chameleon, is that taken? That could work. Heh heh heh. Hey, Brick to Brick. Brick to Brick.

Okay, and we have turned all the lights green for this episode. Oh, thank you, Casey. We have some riddles here from Diego Rivera. Okay, It looks like these are mostly murals. Okay, we also have some plugs coming in the other direction. Uh-oh, uh-oh. I'm wrestling control of the podcast back from you freaks because I have I'm tearing the phone books off of your arms. I have some riddles here from Samira. Samira has two riddles. The first one is thus.

Once upon a time in the West Lake Village, a servant lived with his master. After service of about 30 years, his master became ill and was going to die. One day, the master called his servant and asked him for a wish. It could be any wish, but just one. Fuck the local magician.

Oh, sorry. Oh. Pfft. As the local magician. Is it that? He asked him to a wish. It could be any wish but just one. Fuck the local magician. Oh, sorry. Oh. Is it that? He asked him to fuck the butler. He begrudgingly agreed, because they have to. I wondered if the master called the servant and asked him for a wish. It could be any wish but just one.

The master gave him one day to think about it. The servant became very happy and went to his mother for discussion about the wish. His mother was blind and asked her son for making a wish of her eyesight to come back. When the servant went to his wife, she became very excited and asked for a son as they were childless for many years. After that, the servant went to his father who wanted to be rich and so he asked his son to wish for a lot of money.

The next day, he went to his master and made one wish through which all three, mother, father, wife, got what they wanted. What did the servant- Easy. More wishes. Easy, more wishes. He said, I need a couple of wishes, baby! Is it he wished for his mother to see his golden son? So his son was- God, this boy is made of gold. Hey, weirder things have happened in stories. I do what is the zazine.

You're so close, Adel, but I do what is zazine. Adel, you are a doctor. Casey and Aaron, you have just given birth and Adel, you as the doctor, it has to break the news that the baby is made entirely of gold. Oh, sorry I was back in that room for a while. No problem, I'm just enjoying sushi for the first time in nine months.

Oh. We have sushi at the hospital? No, my husband went out and got it for me. Oh wow, is that sugar? You're sort of reaching for it. Sorry, what are you doing? Sugarfish, called? You're sort of reaching for it. Sorry, what are you doing? Sugarfish, huh?

I'm just gonna grab, I'm just grabbing some. No, sorry, I just, I'm so hungry. I just came here, please. Legally I can do this. I'm a doctor. So, mmm, ooh, wow. That is delicious. You grabbed it with your hands and like kind of crushed it.

He's still wearing bloody gloves. Amberjack, amberjack. Mmm, mmm, mmm. So I have some, I have some good news and some bad news. I'll let you to... Oh my gosh. Classically, I'll let you, the two of you decide which goes first. Honey, what do you think?

I feel like we should leave that to the professional. I mean, like, what are, what degree of good and bad news are we talking, doctors? Are baby okay? That's a good point. Usually, usually just somebody shouts out whatever. Here's the good news. The two of you are incredibly wealthy. Oh, no, not really.

Um, yeah. No, this is like not high class sushi. Yeah. I got this at the. Mariana's got laid off like two months ago or sort of, and you're eating sushi for dinner. I think you need a financial planner. My wife just gave birth, man. I don't know what to tell you.

It's my favorite food and I just gave birth. Haven't had it for nine months. I don't know what to tell you. It's my favorite food And I just gave birth haven't had it for nine months I mean yeah Here and there a little treat and it all adds up and suddenly you're back living with your parents the bad news is your child is Made entirely How do I say this? What made entirely of why there's no other way to say it? Your baby's made of gold. You know when you pushed, you know how you came in

and you were crawling on the floor? You know, ma'am, you know how you came in crawling on the floor? You said I have heavy belly. Typically, pregnant women don't have to crawl on the floor like that. So what it was is you had 112 pounds of baby inside of you. Oh, my God. It was all, it's entirely made of gold.

We did. My husband is a descendant of King Midas. We thought that it's entirely made of gold. We did. My husband is a descendant of King Midas. We thought that there's a possibility of this happening, but our OBGYN said there's only like one in 10,000. I mean, it's supposed to skip a generation. All the nurses are fighting over the umbilical cord. Someone's going home with a lot of money. So we're going to we thought I don't know if we if we can display this in the hospital is like a fun thing of like, here's a little- Like a trophy?

Your words not mine? Sir? Doctor. My father is a golden statue, okay? Oh, he's not something to display. Oh. Yeah, we have the resources to have them live a normal life. Yes. I see. Part of me, part of me doctor, part of me doctor.

I usually wait a few days. I'm another doctor, another surgeon here at the hospital. Are you too interested in circumcision? Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. You work here? Please say, I do work here. I just wanna know if you're interested in.

Oh, you got a bandage. Why are you doing air quotes? Well, when your job is circumcising babies, you really never work a day in your life, you know what I'm saying? Get out! Get out! That's a janitor's outfit. I'm just glad that guy didn't say his typical intro line, which is 20% off. I find that tasteless.

I find it tasteless. I find it, anyway, can we display your baby? 25% off. Addle, you're so close, but it's not a good middle of a riddle I'm not even kidding. Oh what we're in the fucking what was our riddle about like a golden baby? What wish for his mom I I have a sense of like if he says I wish my mom could see my blank baby Then that knocks out both the mom having eyesight and then the baby

But I don't know how to make what was was the third one was like to make something rich? Can you read it again? I think I'm close. Yeah, the dad, okay, so the servant is talking to three different people, they're all what different things. His mother wants to see again because she's blind, his wife wants a son, and his father wants to be rich. Is he, does he go by Richard or what's the, I mean, he can just. He just wants a name change. He wants a $400, you sign the thing,

your name change goes to the court, takes about three months. I mean, is it as simple as like- Mother wants to see her grandson. Yeah. And then what, what's the other part? What does the grandson do? Playing in his mansion? I don't know.

It's gotta be, I mean, there's so many, there's so many possibilities to display wealth. There's so many possibilities. It doesn't matter which one it is, but the only thing that does matter is it's not, she wants to see her golden child. That's one of the, that's one of the,

that doesn't work. My golden baby boy. You just have to give me a guess that does work. Let me throw him in the air. Hernia. I will say that the answer that Samira gave to this one doesn't necessarily make a lot of sense to me, but I get the yeah, you you have it. You basically get the riddle. The way that it is worded here is yeah, he says my mother wants to see her grandson swinging on a swing of gold.

So it was very close. Yeah, very close. Very close. He got it. Well, no, you could have said literally anything except he wants to turn the baby into gold. He got it. I want to see my mom gets to see my baby shitting out diamonds.

Yeah. I like how it's like the baby needs to go through something very uncomfortable because we're making a lot of money. Swing of gold though. Come on. How much? I mean, honestly, is that going to make you rich? One gold swing. And you walk through things of gold.

Earlier, I kind of dodged the relationship with riddles question. Just yeah, but I'll be honest. Answers like this to a riddle. No disrespect to the riddle writer. But these are the ones that frustrate me the most because it's so fucking specific that there's like no, there are a million different like the answer should be a swing of gold or, you know, something like that. Because truly getting that specific thing, I guess we're supposed to ask

questions or whatever and suss that out. But that's that's yeah, whatever. My mother wants to see her grandson getting a bunch of Bitcoin keys from like 2010. Early crypto. Early crypto. Okay. This is here's another riddle here from Samira. A Japanese ship captain was in route and the open sea. The captain went in for a shower, removing his expensive jewelry on the table.

When he returned, his valuables were missing. The captain immediately called for the four suspected crew members and asked each one where and what he was doing for the last 15 minutes. A 15-minute shower, that's a fourth of the time it takes Casey Tony. Uh, check out our Patreon episodes where Casey is on. Okay, the cook in a heavy overcoat said, I was getting meat from the freezer! Everyone from a different place.

The engineer with a choice to say that said, I was working on the generator engine. The first mate said, I was on the mast correcting the flag, which was upside down by accident. The radio officer said, I was messaging the company that we were reaching the next port in 72 hours.

The captain immediately caught the liar. Who was the thief? Radio messenger, most annoying voice. Yeah, you can just tell that guy steals with the voice he has get about the ship I know that logic I would get in trouble for all of our stuff because I got the most Yeah, the captain the captain is Min on reddit so Which is my favorite Durandurand song can you read them again? I know the answer Should I say it or should I know no, let me try to get it because I, okay.

All right, Cook was getting meat from the freezer. Engineer was working with a generator. First mate was on the mast correcting the flag, which was upside down by accident. And the radio officer was messaging the company that they were reaching the port in 72 hours. And what are we trying to catch? What lie are we trying to catch?

It's who lied who the captain immediately knows who stole the valuables. But how do they know? Because one person is lying and it's pretty obvious. And Adel even knows it. I know. And Adel even knows it. I'll even. And here's I'll give you guys this is him.

Well, it's kind of a hint. I'll tell you who did it and then you guys can figure out why they did it. So who was the third person? What was their title? The first mate. The first mate is the guy who did it. JBC, am I right? Absolutely nailed it, 100% first mate did it.

He's told the jewelry. And tell them again what he was doing, that's an obvious lie. He was on the mast, correcting the flag, which was upside down by accident. And this is the Japanese captain. The Japanese captain. Oh, I miss that detail.

Oh, I miss that detail, yes, it's the same. It don't always go the way where you miss a detail. The Japanese flag is upside down. It's a bad excuse from that guy. I think I'm turning Japanese flags. I think I'm turning Japanese flags. I think I'm turning Japanese flags. This guy's working on, he's a first maid on a Japanese ship and he's like,

the flag does it go the same way? What a dumbass, what an absolute dumbass. I'm overboard. Yeah, they're Japanese, the flag cannot be flown upside down because of their customs. And we respect their customs. I do wanna see a scene. Yes.

Um, we're going to say, uh, Aaron, you are the captain of a ship. Thank you. That's it. Uh, and JBC and Casey, you are, um, you two are, uh, hired hands and you're both vying for first mate. This is, um, Aaron's captain kind of holding auditions for First Mate. Oh, whoa, what's this? Two breakfasts in bed.

What is this? Well, we just thought, Captain, you know, you're up late doing shape of duties, and we quite... Quite work at home. Why not give you some waffles in bed, you know? Good. Also eggs in bed.

One plate is sweet. From you, Higgins. One plate is savory from you, Wiggins. I guess I'll take a little bit from each. Sort of start with the savory, go to the sweet. Yeah! Dang, didn't think they'd do that. Ooh, uh, first. First plate. Over here. Yes, that was a nice ring to it when you say Wiggins, doesn't it? First plate Wiggins.

I don't know about that. But you know, best plate, that really would be the first plate on the pile of whoever did it best. Captain, by the way, you look like you would love a coffee. How about this? A nice hot cup of coffee. For the captain. Both shoved a cup of coffee in my face at the same time.

For the mind. Captain, mine isn't coffee. Mine is oat milk with syrup in it. They were out of coffee. You know what? I'll combine the two. I'll combine the two. Why did we think of that? What's on the docket for today, gentlemen? Where are we at and see? Tell me all the updates. Well, we're about as far away from the dock as we can get, Captain, because we're out on sea.

But if you want to see a dock, I can navigate the ship. I know all about ship navigation. Oh my, Captain, I could also navigate the ship. I know a great dock to go to. Ah, I see what's happening here. You both are vying to be first mate. Well... Well, there's only one real way to do this push-up contest oh I have to do push-ups with this dead arm and I have to do push-ups with these dead legs wait a second Wiggins are you thinking what I'm thinking Higgins are you thinking what I'm thinking? Higgins, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. Please. Yay. Yay. Yay. They killed the captain. Nice.

Yeah, they killed the captain. Yeah, sure. Or each other. I think everybody ended up pretty much dead on that ship, right? Yeah, for sure. The captain can't do anything without someone bringing him breakfast. Okay. The captain can't do anything without someone bringing him breakfast. Okay, it would be an absolute goddamn motherfucking absolute shame to have Casey on this podcast without doing some horny riddles.

So Heather has to do some horny riddles. Thank you Heather. Are you ready? We're going to run this baby out with some horny ones. Finally some good fucking food. So here we go. What can you find in a man's pants that you likely won't in a woman's dress?

Wallet. Pockets. Erin, it's pockets. Wow. Okay, okay. Yeah, it's fucked up. A penis. It's fucked up that they don't make dresses with pockets.

Erin, have you ever sewed a pocket into a piece of clothes that you have? No, I did have When I got a like not myself I had a tailor sew pockets into a dress that I bought And it was really nice, but the packets were super shallow so they didn't really have the effect that I wanted but I'm glad I gave it a shot. The tailor so shallow pockets to a dress. Yeah, there was a dress that I was like, I feel like the proportions of it because it was kind of like a fit and flare.

I was like, this would be really, really cute with pockets. And I was like, is this possible? And then she like took some fabric at the bottom, from the bottom, made some slits, made some pockets, but she made them kind of shallow so I couldn't fully put my hands in them. You'd like fold your fingers in and pretend that your hands are in.

Dude, dude, that is an absolute fucking nightmare. A shallow pockets nightmare. I remember, I didn't have, I never took this to a tailor, but I had a, I think it was in like grade school or high school, but I had a pair of like my uniform pants. We had to wear uniform pants. And they were, I hated them, they were so annoying.

And one of mine ripped a hole in the pocket. And it wasn't like a little hole. It was like the whole bottom of the pocket had just, there was no pocket bottom. So you just put your hand in it, suddenly you're touching your leg. And I asked my grandma who sews if she could sew up that pocket, like just sew it up.

And I thought, this is an easy fix, right? The whole bottom line is there, just sew the line. I don't know how she did it, but whenever she did it, she did it so that I could get like four or like two knuckles into the pocket but nothing else. My front pocket was this tiny little mini pocket but I would always forget so I'd always like try to put stuff in it. It was awful. I ended up having to just like get rid of those pants because I was like I can't have a little mini pocket.

I can't live like this. I can't live like this. And I fucking berated my grandma for that. You have no idea. Good, good. You've never seen a child yell as loud. No, okay, here's the next one. Next, horny riddle from Heather. What starts with B and ends with anal? Birthday.

Now. Banal. Well, banal works, but it's not Bono. I do love Bono. I don't know how to pronounce it, bano. That is really funny. That thing, that the riddle is literally, it just is like, what starts with C and ends in Christmas. It's just the word.

Christmas. Adal, what do you mean birthday? It's your birthday. Yeah,, what do you mean birthday? It's your birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your birthday, yeah. Yeah Adel, sorry, come to the front of the class and speak up. It's been a hard year you're serving until the wizard is.

I'd like to call him dead. I'd like to call him dead. I'd like to call him dead. What search would be an indian anal and it's not banal? It's not banal. Banal, I think, would be the obvious choice there. The but anal would be the obvious choice there. Yeah, but anal.

This is, I think, more conceptual. I mean, ending an anal is like, you know, kind of. Oh, I see what it is. You have sex in the butt, but I was born in it. But it's. All right, I will allow a little bit of time on the podcast for everyone to do Bane with but stuff. If you want to do it, you can. But stuff, Bane.

Mm hmm. But stuff, Bane. Use protection. it you can't but stuff bane but stuff bane you protection okay and now and I'll do beinel okay let's just say I didn't only break Batman's back I was blown out. Hold on. Casey, I'm doing banal right now. That was exactly what I was gonna do. Yeah, and I'm here too. Captain, we came up with good ones too, Captain. Yeah. I've blown out a lot of bugs. Whatever you do, don't fall in love with me. If you're a bird, then I'm a bird. We're both birds.

I hate to do this. I have to give points. Aaron wins that one with no fault. Oh, no, but I didn't even come up with it. It's Adels. Give it to Aaron. Is it Bakanol? Bakanol. Oh, a Bakanol.

Bakanol. The word that you're looking for doesn't actually end in anal, but conceptually this ends Adelie, I would say Not really this one this one's got of a stretch who poor choice of words Okay, and it's not just but because the answer is never is always deceptively You want to give it to you? I'll give it to you It's breakfast

Breakfast You want to give it to you? I'll give it to you. It's breakfast. Breakfast. Because it starts with a B and then you poop at the end. No, it's not. Now, I would argue, you don't absolutely poop at the very end of breakfast. That's not like my first thing that I think of, like, breakfast is over. Time to get to pooping. Also, can I just say? Can I just say? Yes, please.

Listeners, I beg of you, I implore you please, if you need to go poop, don't call it anal. Don't say I gotta run to the bathroom for some anal cause I just had breakfast. Please, let's not do that. This also insinuates or implies that breakfast doesn't end until you shit it out. And you're not shitting out your breakfast.

I mean, you will shit, but you won'titting out your breakfast. I mean, like you will shit, but you won't shit out that breakfast for like what? A day, you know, by the time it makes it through your digestive system. And we will be posting the link to Casey's blog where he talks all about how long it takes to process breakfast. Well, we have to move on.

Remember, these are very horny riddles. You tie me down to get me up. You stick your pole inside me. I always get wet before you do. What am I? Tent, umbrella, tent. Yeah, it's a tent. It is a tent, it is a tent.

I like that. Okay, remember, these are very horny. Pitching intent still horny. Horny riddles. Still, yeah, yeah. What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? What starts with P? Popcorn.

Parmesan. It's popcorn. Parmesan. Parmesan. Good. Good. Parmesan. Welcome to Banffery, here's some Parmesan.

Here, you get to be here. It's P, banal, more Parmesan on your salad. Welcome to Banffery. Welcome to Banffery, this is Banff, good to be here. Welcome to Banfffully. Welcome to Bainfully. This is Bain of Good Mythicality. Welcome to Bainfully. Stay when, stay when on the Bainfully. That's Bain as a waiter. That's Bain working at a mage on us.

Oh my God. Have you tried the tilapia? And you know, sometimes people give up on our episode at like the 40 minute mark. And they always miss out because this is the type of shit that happens Yeah, yeah, the episode Did everyone leave room for Tara Beesoo? I love it. I love it. I love it. I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates and I come with a quiver What am I? A quill. An arrow. An arrow. Casey got it. It's an arrow. Come with a quill. I got to come with a quiver. What am I? Pen. A quill. Arrow. An arrow! Casey got it! It's an arrow!

Come with a quill. I got to come with a quill. 311. What do you think, more garlic bread? Whoa! Somebody's hungry! This is your birthday song! It's a very long... BAME! Everyone knows that honeybees produce honey, but which type of bees produce milk? This one is very horny.

Boo bees. It's boo bees. Oh. Oh. How do you feel? I was born for this moment. This moment alone. Yeah.

That was kind of a misdirect on the boobies, but I do, a pun, a joke, a riddle, all in one. Thank you so much, Heather, for submitting those horny riddles. That's great, Heather. I think we're all sufficiently all horned up at this point, which means we can get to some plugs and- Oh, yes. We always have to be horny for plugs. which means we can get to some plugs and... Oh yeah, we always have to be horny for plugs.

Oh, JPC, do they have to be like butt plugs? Is that what we're doing? Oh man, now they have to be butt plugs. Casey and I can go last. So, Aaron, is there anything that you have to plug? Sure. Sickcome D&D Season 5 is out now. We've been laughing a lot in these recordings.

I think it's worth checking out. If you haven't given the show a shot, you can jump in right at season five. It's a pretty good reset, or you can start from the beginning. Addle, do you have anything to plug? I don't, but Bane, did you have something to plug? Yes, the Marzianos on 42nd and 3rd

is having a holiday special. So bring your family to Marzianos on 42nd and 3rd is having a holiday special, so bring your family to Marzianos! Marzianos! Like Olive Garden, but better! What if they sent us a check for $40 after hearing this? And by the way- Casey, did you see if you have anything to propose? Your Bain oppression is very good, and I do think, I do love Bain at Magyana's. I would love Bain as just a waiter.

But he has to do something afterwards. Some crans for the kids. Yay! Yay! That's the line. That's the line. That's the line, yeah, man. Yes, so, Casey and I have something to plug in. This comes as a little bit of a story

because about, and this is embarrassing, about four years ago. Is it really four now? It's almost four. It's something three and a half years ago. Hey, Riddle Riddle was in an unenviable position. It was like the beginning of the pandemic where we normally record, we have a Patreon episode that releases on Friday.

And for whatever reason that week, we just were not able to meet and we did not have a Patreon episode ready for Friday. It was the only time I think it's ever happened where we just didn't have something that could go out So I had an idea for something that I pitched to Casey as kind of like a placeholder It ended up being like 45 minutes. So it's not in the edit ended up being way way longer than any helping way, way longer than any fucking Hey, Riddle, Riddle. I mean, other than like one of the special episodes, like any clue crew would have been such an easy edit, but we're like, yeah, we got it.

We just got to get this out. Let's get this out. We're like, let's get this out in case you stay up for 20 hours. But we recorded and it's on the picture in there somewhere, a guided meditation. And ever since then, we've had it kind of in our back pocket that we would like to do some more of these. And so we are excited that we have completed our second round of guided meditations.

This time we have three brand new meditations that I think that you guys will really love. Maybe it's about 45-ish minutes, I think, all together. Maybe around there. They're a little tighter than the last one, which was, you know, one meditation that was like 40 minutes. Casey, do you have anything that you would like to say about these? Listener, let me tell you, these may be tighter, but they are mightier. They are mighty edits, mighty journeys packed with crazy sound design. They're also fightier because they've got like several different fight scenes of various forms. I think I've spent probably three times as long on this same length of audio roughly as the one

that we originally did. If that gives you any idea, they are just their journeys to behold. Each one, I think that the ideas that JPC has gotten out here are incredible. And I had so much fun just going buck wild, letting it all hang out and creating truly unforgettable sonic experiences for these. They all sound excellent. They're all, KC did an absolutely amazing job making these very, very immersive.

So if you are a fan of what KC does, especially on some of our Patreon episodes and making the audio world very immersive, I think you're gonna like these guided meditations. And they may even bring you inner peace and enlightenment. How about that? These are, I would say, not meant to relax you, but if you choose to use them in that way, then they're guided meditations that I made. So do that information what you will. There are some sickos out there who will fall asleep to this.

I think you could fall asleep to these. We are releasing these all on our Patreon digital store. So starting today, you can either go to the link in the episode description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com. So hey riddle riddle, click the store tab and then buy the digital download. It is 5.99 and you get all four of the guided meditations. Oh, and if you're buying the meditations

or doing anything on Patreon, do not do it through iOS. It adds a 30% upcharge if you do it through iOS. So go on the browser, go to the Patreon website, do not buy it through iOS or the app. I can't wait to listen to them. I'm a huge fan of the first one and made me laugh out loud. So I'm I'm in. Fuck. Yeah. Oh, and stay tuned for after the episode, because we have a little teaser trailer for the guided meditations That Casey and I put together. We hope you enjoy and JPC are any of the meditations done in the bane voice So if people like these and people enjoy them we will be doing a volume too maybe I can talk to my friend, uh, Marciano's Bane. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten. Bogo created by Emily Cardemas and Emily Nebora.

One, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten. RIT THE BRITISHLESS! Hello there. I'm JPC, a certified relaxation expert, and I, with my colleague and doccator of sleep-on-medicine, Casey Tony, want to introduce you to our series of guided meditations. So if you've ever felt stress, anxiety, or general sense of being overwhelmed, we invite you to listen to our meditations and ease your way. Casey, what's going on? Yeah, sorry JPC, looks like the backing audio crashed. And it looks like... huh, that's weird. It's gone.

Gone? Do we have another track that we can use? Pfft. I got this wacky cartoon sound effects pack. Yeah, I mean that could work. on a journey of discovery, deep reflection, inner peace, solitude, tranquility, calmification, and harmony. If that sounds like something you need, go to patreon.com. Hey there, Powers and Rubs. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We take you to a literary conference. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com slash heywarderwarderl by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or starting a

7-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. And you get those ad-free episodes. See you there! That was a hate gun podcast.