Hey Riddle Riddle - #296: Skip this one!(w/ Janet Varney)

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

This week we start out with business as usual while we tackle some listener submitted riddles for the first half of the episode. Then we go off the rails! Sorry! Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Janet VarneyEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And of course, it's Friday! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, Robert Frost plus one I guess okay okay nobody else is with me how do I choose I'm gonna go what would Erin do Erin would probably go door number two you dumb dumb okay let's open door number two who's back here what's going on back here I'm hiding in here oh shit I'm sorry playing hide and seek don't draw attention to me oh that sucks I wasn't invited to play. Can I play? Yeah? You can't hide here though. I'm here. Okay, all right, let me shut the door here.

Ready or not, here I come. Okay, ooh. Where is that, Aaron? Three doors in front of me. Two, door number two. I'm sorry? Two. Set the lamp.

And I pull on the string. Walking in door number two. I'm sorry? Two. Said the lamp. Okay. And I pull on the string. Okay, walking in door number two and, okay, Aaron and Edel in here. Aw, man. Wee! GBC, this was such a good spot. Edel, you were not invited to play. You were not invited to play

because I knew you would say door number two and you would help me find Aaron. This is why- I can't keep secrets. This is why we don't invite you to our Games of Hide and Seek. Oh. Well, JPC, there's still one more person to find. Janice the guest. Janet Varney's the guest.

Adel! I told you I can't keep secrets. Are you even serious? I'm freaking out. She's in door number one, I assume. Okay. Let's all go check. Let's all go check.

What, Janet? Let's all go check. Surprise! No, Adel ruined it. He ruined it. They ruined it. I delayed it. They ruined it. I delayed it. But the cake, this giant cake, you guys don't want to-

Smash, smash, smash, smash. An expense for nothing, Danit. An expensive bit for nothing. I spent $2,000 on this giant cake. Are you kidding me? We don't deserve the cake and we don't deserve you and it's all ruined. Close the door. Just close the door.

Just close the door again. Close it back up. No, Janet. Come out. Be in the episode. You're closing the door. Oh, door just close the door again close it back up. No Janet Okay closing the door she's pulling on it behind door number three let's open this a different Janet Varney Hey everyone How are you? It's me sultry Janet Varneyney. Wow. Fun! Velvet red dress, cigarette, and one of those pencil holder things. Yeah, that's what it's called. Pencil holder.

Has anyone seen my other pencil holder? I like to, I'm tired of using this one. I think Janet number one has it. We'll go talk to her. Hey Janet, other Janet is wondering if you have a pencil holder. Hey Janet, we don't need you on the show anymore. We don't need you on the show anymore. Thank you so much for your long history, long service, your valued asset. Other Janet was wondering if you have a pen holder. Hey Janet, we don't need you on the show anymore. We don't need you on the show anymore. Thank you so much for your long history and long service and your valued asset. Sure.

Yeah, goodbye sultry Janet. That's the one we're leaving behind. No, wait, no! Not me. All right, everybody come out, come out. Sit at your chairs, turn on your microphones. We're doing an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, which is a riddles and puzzle and lateral thinking podcast,

kind of. It's mostly a fever dream competition between three or four friends. So that's what this is. That's Addle, that's JBC, and that's Jim. What are you doing right now, Erie? What do you mean? I've never seen you try.

What are you doing? What's going on? This looks like trying. Yeah, you're like introducing the show. You're like saying our names. What the fuck are you doing? Can I ask you something really quick? When, because I don't know why I'm hearing this for the first time now,

even though I absolutely have heard you say it a billion times. Do you think that the, like, I understand that, you know, when people get grumpy about like, they thought there were gonna be more riddles and puzzles. Do you feel like the lateral thinking portion is what is the most professional sounding? That's the thing that makes it sound the most like,

hey, this offers a lot of promise about like clever solutions to life's problems. Puzzles and riddles are really just a way to fine tune your brain to handle the real problems of life. Is that, to me, that's what I think is making people feel so deeply betrayed by this podcast. 99% of the listeners are so deeply betrayed. I don't know, Janet, there's a lot of betrayal here. Okay, and we put Janet back in door number one betrayed by this podcast. 99% of the listeners are so deeply betrayed.

Okay, and we put Janet back in door number one and let's open door number three. That's actually funny. This is really funny. Sultry Janet, did you want to come on out? Yeah, don't have a complaint about this podcast. I also don't have a sense of humor, but I do think this is a great podcast. Slam, Janet number one, come on out. Yeah, you know, I do remember Adil saying lateral thinking problems in the first episode. And I would say we've done that like six times

in five years. They are a type of a riddle. Yeah. Yeah. But they just sound, that just sounds like the smartest. Like a puzzle, a riddle, you can sort of like, you can give a lot of room to that and be like, ah, it's playful, I don't need my life's problems to be solved. I don't

need tools. But I think when you say that you're up, when you say there's gonna be lateral thinking problems, that's, that's giving the false promise of giving someone a real life tool that they'll be able to use. And they're not gonna get that here. If the type of thinking that I'm doing isn't lateral thinking, I don't know what it is because it ain't thinking. I couldn't just walk down the street and be like, I'm having thoughts. No, something bad is happening at an angle to my brain. I have descending thinking. I'm delivering the promise. I absolutely am not going to jump over to something of equal value. That's what lateral Fiki seems to me

I only get like more and more stupid every time I think so it's just Amen sisters. Yeah Do you think that anyone has gotten anything of value from this podcast or do you think it's mostly just betrayals and nightmares? I think those have their own value. Yes, I think a community has risen from the hatred of the riddles we do. I think people have found sort of like-minded individuals and started to support one another. So I think that's something beautiful that's grown

from the seeds of our terrible fruit. And Adel and I at least bought houses. Yeah, we got houses. I know you guys also bought houses. Yeah, we got houses. Oh yeah, houses. You guys also bought houses. That's so stupid. You guys are idiots. And, Aaron, we will give you some money once you can do the splits. We have, Aaron, I'm not joking, we have a savings account with six figures waiting to

pay you. You haven't been paid for a single episode. The minute you do the splits, it all goes flooding into your bank account. Stop emailing us. Erin, Erin has never been paid for the podcast. Why doesn't Erin get a share of the money for the podcast? She will get it when her trust matures. You cannot give a child this kind of money.

Oh, I thought it was a splits thing. The idea that you're finally mature when you do the splits. You're emotionally and mentally mature enough to take on your trust fund when you can do the splits. It's an amazing rule. Oh man, and you know, if I go to the hospital because I'm desperate for money, that's on you guys.

Yeah. Because I ripped myself in half trying to do the splits preemptively. And that's on you. I will say that when you're, especially when you have a child and you have to establish like a will and like what happens to your assets when you die, there is a lot of, we went through this process,

there's a lot of questions that they ask of like, hey, so like when you're dead, like when you're dust, when you're gone, when you're like a ghost, should we give your child like your money or should they jump through a bunch of fucking hoops? Like most people say a bunch of fucking hoops. I was like, most people say that? Why?

Like I'm dead. Like who gives an absolute shit what happens to me? Or do you think it's very funny when it's like, yeah, most parents actually do want to control their children from beyond the grave. That's what you would it's like, yeah, most parents actually do want to control their children from beyond the grave. That's what you would like to sign up for, correct? Yeah.

I'm so sorry to make this about me, but I have to. Please leave me something funny in your will. I'm begging you. It can be, have no monetary value. I want it to make me laugh out loud though. I have one of the funniest things that I could leave for any person in my will and it is being left to you and that is medical debt.

All my medical debt goes directly to you, Erin. I can't explain how, but I got a good lawyer. I got a good lawyer. I mean, that made me laugh. Okay. What about? Works for me. Maybe he could leave you his ability to do the splits, but then it's up to you.

It's like a Green Lantern ring or something. Yeah. Yeah. I was 33 when I found out about the concept of my own hips. So I don't know that I'm going to be able to lid air in any splits doing abilities. It's also so funny that you mentioned that because I've been stretching more and my hips are the hardest part of my body to stretch. And, um, I, it's, I've, I do yoga and I do Pilates, and it's pretty well known that there's a lot of trauma and emotion stored in your hips.

And that's why I can't do the splits, because I'm so sad. Because every time I try to start doing it, it just unlocks too much sadness from the past. So that's what's holding me back. Pretty well known. You store a lot of your emotions in your hips. Google it.

Google. Yeah, that's going to be my friend here, getting the most reliable information. OK, the first four things are sponsored ads from medical scams. OK, so these first warm up riddles come from Colin. And we can use his name. In each puzzle, I'm going to give you a situation

and you're going to give a real Arnold Schwarzenegger one-liner that you could say during the situation. Colin, I love you. Okay, good, good, good. For example, if someone has a lot of uncut wood, they would say, get to the choppa. Oh, Colin. Be aware that there's going to be some homophone and slant rhyming nonsense.

But these will all be well-known Schwarzenegger one-liners. Uh, yeah. I think the word they used was real, not well-known. I keep my trauma in my hips. Commando, commando, right? You are leaving a party, but plan on returning. I'll be back, I'll be back, I'll be back. And I resign.

Can I resign? Can I resign now? I think you're going to regret that in about 30 seconds. Okay, next one. Okay. You are choosing which half of a two-person horse costume to wear, and your friend has already chosen the front. I'll be the front.

I'll be the back. Someone named Albie gets too close to you and you want him to move away. I'll be back. Get to the back of the horse. I'll be back, oh my God. This is so good. By the way, I thought the second one was,

I'm the Danny DeVito one. Yeah. I was like, oh, my brain might be ruined. You are choosing which role to play in an action movie full of famous musical composers. I'll be back. There you go. You are naming an island that looks like an abdomen

of a certain honey-making insect. I'll be back. Yep. I'll be back. It's all about the emphasis. Oh, yeah, and the admin is the back. Okay Yeah, now it is in the second aisle of an unusual grocery store a chicken clucks Okay, hint usually named second aisle chicken sound I'll be buck. I'll be buck. Yep

Nice Aldi Aldi buck. I'll be spook. I can Know well, nope This one is the one that is the most Layered a sick supermodel is auditioning for the starring role in the Cathy movie. I'll be ack ack I'll be back ack Yeah, and I'll be ack ack I'll be back ack ack yeah and bonus question name one Arnold Schwarzenegger one-liner that's not I'll be back or get to the chopper it's not a tumor yes I'm the Danny DeVito oh man well thank you so much for those, Colin. That would be a fun little thing to start with. That was beautiful.

What an amuse-bouche. And I do wanna see a scene. Let's say that JPC and Janet, you two are on the set of an action movie. You're both the stars of this action movie. And there's some wiggle room for improv. So you're both in sort of this intense action scene and you're both trying to kind of find your footing and

what your character might say during certain scenes. And the director said we could do a little a little improv right? I think I think that's I think that's what they I think that's what he said. And action! Uh, Miss Isle? What isle did you think I was aiming at yeah yeah this whoa this thing is the bomb and we got it and we got we have a full capture there let's go ahead and move over to the food fight scene in the cafeteria and... Wait, really? Just moving? Okay, yeah, no, yeah.

Yeah, just real quick, it's me, Danny on sound. Your wincing in pain is getting picked up on the mic, just so you know. Was my character... Yeah, you sort of seemed embarrassed by the line that you said, and then you winced. Oh, us? Yeah, you two.

Okay. Yeah, we're jumping around so much. My character is, have I been shot yet, or I'm not been shot? And action. I guess Danny the Sound Guy's taking action now. Kind of fun, huh? And Foodfighting Cafeteria, go. Take that, you.

Let's squash this beef. Looking around for squash, looking around for beef. What can I throw? It's only pizza. I'll give you a pizza, my mind. Woo. Takes three bows, looks directly into camera lens, bows, bows, bows again, bows again.

That's sausage advice. And we got it, we got it. Can we cut out me saying there's only pizza? Is that, or no, it's give me the camera. We can't. Danny the sound guy's not a god. I can only do so much I can't believe Danny DeVito's in the sound department on this film. This is cool. We're in a zoo action

Hey I can't it'd be terrible to be on a raft and there's a giant long neck and head in front of you Zoo action fuck giant long neck and head in front of you. Awful white water rafting. Zoo action, oh fuck. Okay. These next riddles are some only connect riddles from Ross. Yes please. Surprise.

Who has sent riddles before, which is amazing. Okay, round one. Okay. We all, we remember how these only connect ones work. No. We have to solve. They're sort of four little questions, and then you sort of solve

why all those answers are connected. That's right, okay. Great, complete the phrase. I'm a lover, not a. Fighter. Fighter. These are all Christian Bale movies. I wish. Wow. I'm a lover, not a Batman. I'm a lover not a Batman.

I'm a lover not a Batman begins. It turns. I'm a lover not a little woman. I'm a lover not a fire in the sun. I'm a lover not a the mechanic. I'm a lover not a the mechanic. That was the title. I'm a lover not a vice.

I'm a lover not a the mechanic. 2016 Star Wars film starring Felicity Jones. Rebel One. Is that right? You're kinda. Different word for rebel. Rebel Without a One. Rogue One.

Wait, what? Oops, it's Rogue. Whoops. Rogue. A high ranking priest in an ancient Celtic society. Would this be a cleric? No, kind of. High-ranking... Is this the pope? Would this be a necromancer?

No. Is this of the pope? No, this is not of the pope. In the Celtic society, a druid. A shaman. A druid, yes. Nice one, Janne. Word for a magic user which takes its origin from the Latin phrase, one who influences

fate or fortune. Aw. Wizard. No. Magic user. Sorcerer. Mage. Sorcerer.

Sorcerer. Sorcerer. These are all base classes in the game Baldur's Gate 3. Yeah. Loosely based upon the concept of Dungeons and Dragons. I would like to see a scene. Janet, you see a scene. Janet, you're a fighter.

Adol, you are a druid, and JBC, you are a sorcerer, and you guys are sort of having a drink and catching up after a long day. Yes, everyone, bring me your cup and I will fill it to the top. And I just wanna apologize and get ahead of it. I'm so sorry during the battle, I just kept saying apologize and get ahead of it. I'm so sorry during the battle I just kept saying let us pray. Um, it just felt like, I don't know, might as well try

it out, right? Can't help to, can't hurt to pray. I'm less concerned about that than I am why you put pizza in this cup. I don't, I want something to drink. What are you telling me, there's only pizza? Look again. I've been fighting all day. I need booze. Dust magic, look again. Liquid pizza. It sure is. Heated up the pizza. And I gotta say guys, I just want to apologize as well while we're talking about the battle earlier today.

I honestly thought I knew more spells. Uh, truly my bad, I kinda got into the heat of the moment and said, oh boy, what spells do I know? And it wasn't much. There was a point at which you spelled the word sword, but like, you were just spelling the word sword. That wasn't a spell for a sword to magically appear, as I noticed when I was immediately stabbed

as an empty handed fighter. Cause I swear to God I was like a spell sword. That's something, right? Yeah. That's something, right? It was a little embarrassing. I pretended not to be fighting with you when you yelled, 100 foot wall of flame.

And all that happened was a grasshopper turned into a cricket. I kind of did, you know, I started to punch one of you two. I can't remember which one. It was me, you punched me. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Here, have some more liquid pizza. Yeah, the grasshopper cricket thing too may have been incidental to the me casting that spell.

I honestly thought I knew more spells. I don't know what to say. Honestly, I didn't even pay that much attention to what was going on with you guys because the whole time I was fighting, I was just feeling, and I gotta get this out somewhere. I'm a lover. You guys, I'm a lover. I'm not a fighter. What am I doing? There's nobody said, I thought I could sign up for being a lover. You know what I mean? Instead, all they gave me was fighter. But I'm a lover. Jill, I just want to say, we- you know, I know that I don't know a lot of spells and I know that, you know,

our cleric here really only knows hot pizza, but when you came to the group and you said that you were a fighter, I thought that that meant you would have some sort of like martial prowess. Not that you were just going through like a really tough divorce. Yeah. Because you've been a big part of the battle on the phone with Jerry just kind of having like just kind of screaming I'm a lover I'm a lover. He took everything from me Michael. He took everything from me. Why do you think I smoke so heavily? And Jill we support you don't we Roger? Don't we Roger? Fighting can be internal conflict. Oh yeah, oh are you talking to me or my familiar?

By the way I was so wrong about my familiar. That is just, I think that is a old dog that is following me because he thinks I'm a meal. I don't think that that's actually, we don't have a mystical kinship. Yeah. What's up dinner, I mean friend? Well it does talk.

Can I hear the dog or can everybody hear the dog? It's easy. We can. We can. Round two. Animal played by George Clooney in the 2009 Wes Anderson hit. Fantastic. Fox. Fox.

Fox, yes. Band who wants to know if you come from the land down under. Men at work. Men at work, sorry. Did not realize I was not over. These are all Michael J's. No, heavy duty vehicle whose name is based on the Greek word trokos.

Jeep, Hummer. Tank, heavy duty vehicle. Trokos? Trokos? I don't know, I don't know. A truck? No, no, no, no, no. Tractor. A truck,. Trocos? Trocos? I don't know, I don't know how to. A truck? No, no, no, no. A tractor?

A truck, yes. Okay. Fox? The worst thing that a ro- A truck. The worst thing that a cockroach could possibly start doing. Making me dims. Dating your sister?

What did everyone say? I've, everyone said something weird and it was all at the same time. Go one by one, please. JPC, we're starting with you. What did you say? I said dating your sister. I don't know what.

Janet? I said making me dinner. And JPC, what did you actually say? Making your sister dinner. I think I said methamphetamines. Yeah, I think you did too. What an open-ended question. You think a cockroach doing meth

is worse than a cockroach doing fentanyl? Come on. I'd like to see a scene. Use your brain. Yeah, I guess so. Use your brain. No, we promised on the show we would never have to do that. My apologies.

Adol, you are meeting up to have dinner with your sister Janet and she's introducing you to her new boyfriend, JPC, played by a cockroach. Or a cockroach. JPC played by a cockroach? I didn't mean to say that. No, I did not mean to say that. JPC is a cockroach in it. Wow. Okay.

So what did you say about the stuff we mean? It was a slip. It was a slip. It was a slip. It was a slip. I think overall, just in general, if we were to zoom out, I think JPC's sort of like Vincent D'Onofrio in the first men in black Yeah, yeah, I think sugar. Yeah, he is Really stuffed inside is definitely a bug alien stuffed uncomfortably into JPC skin and JPC is not wearing his headphones. He can't hear this You're meeting her new boyfriend who is a cockroach. Alan, I am so excited that you are finally going to meet my sweetie.

Oh, Melissa, I'm so... One happy birthday. Thank you for inviting me. And happy birthday to you, twin. Thank you so much. We finish each other's sentences basements we We just I just wanted to talk just very briefly before he gets there Sure, just the last I feel like the last couple guys you've introduced to me

I just have not been wildly impressed with and I think the world of you and you deserve the world So I just want to get that out there. I just want to clear the air Is this a bad time to tell you that he's already sitting here? He's just ducked under the table for a moment. Oh is he rich you can come Stomp ha ha Scurry scurry scurry Like this guy. Oh what the fuck oh is he talking Alan? This is rich rich. This is my twin brother Alan Oh, is he talking Alan? This is rich rich. This is my twin brother Alan

Put her there I can't the head buddy. It really doesn't matter which shake any shake any of them honestly They're all wonderful. I don't I don't want to oh no how how how did you meet what soft hands out? You gotta tell me your moisturizing routine. CeraVe. I'm sorry? What? CeraVe. Oh, you're doing the lotion? I guess I've only seen it written CeraVe?

I actually, you know what? I've never thought about it. You're saying it and I realize I've never heard it said out loud. Sorry, you keep saying my name over and over again. I'm CeraVe. You're known as CeraVe? Yeah, sorry, I'm just at the next table.

Oh, I thought he was just pronouncing the word server. Sarah V. What? Sarah V. we're ready to order. Well I did just come back from the South of France. Yes I'm the server what do you need? Can we get my sister and I- Sarah V. what are you doing up from the table? I'm sorry this guy just kept saying my name over and over again. We'll go back to your seat Sarah V-Ve. Sarah-Ve? Are you following me? I'm so sorry, this is my ex. Oh my god. Are you fucking serious?

You're dating already? You know each other? This is, we agreed when we broke up, I get the restaurant, okay? Yeah, this guy gives me the best sex of my life and then he ghosts me. I can't believe, you, Rich, you suggested this restaurant. You didn't realize that there was a chance that we were going to run into either the

server or her twin sister who's eating SarahVeigh? You're eating SarahVeigh? Yeah, well look, SarahVeigh and BeverlyVeigh, you know, I'm not going to stop coming to my favorite restaurant just because I broke up with you to briefly date your sister BeverlyVeigh and then broke up with her so I could start my relationship with Alan's sister. I mean you told me I had a thing for twins but I didn't realize like that extended to just a girl who has a fraternal twin brother. Well that is close minded of you. We'll be right back with your food. We won't. Spit in it I bet. We'll be back. Yeah they're gonna spit in it.

Luckily that's also how I eat my food I think. How did we meet is that did I hear you ask that just to get the conversation back on track? Twenty minutes ago I'm leaving I'm putting on my coat and my hat and I want that one. Mean. Fun. Somehow just describing putting on your coat and your hat in that context, even though I have fully seen you with a coat and a hat, I've seen you with a hat many times, just the way you said that made it suddenly be like a Jimmy Stewart movie.

It was like the 1950s, you were putting on like a Derby. Do you ever see Harvey, the movie Harvey, where his twin sister's getting a cockroach? I could never watch it because it upset me too much. Really? My dad tried to show me Harvey when I was little and I was like, nobody believes him. I was crying so hard he had to stop it

and I've never gone back. Is it great? You maybe have the purest heart of any mortal. That is incredible. Go fuck yourself, I love you buddy. Wait a minute. Oh, I know that you guys will not believe this when I tell you, but we were in the middle

of something. We have Fox, work, and truck. Fox, work, truck, and? Oh, the cockroach thing. Yes. What's the worst thing a cockroach could do? Lay eggs? No.

No. Survive? Start eating your food. I'm not necessarily sure that this is the worst thing it could do, but it definitely would be a fly. It sucks when they start flying. Cousins think after they eat taco, they don't fly. Yeah, you don't want, they shouldn't deserve to fly on top of everything else.

Did I tell you about my honeymoon? Where, okay, nevermind. In the hotel was a cockroach and I got a cup and I was about to put the cup over the cockroach and it flew 50 miles an hour upward directly into my face and I screamed like a horse. Oh, God. Like a horse.

Yes, it was awful. Of course, of course. Jemma has video of it somewhere. I'll post it with this episode. And I would love that. I did watch three lizards eat a cockroach as the cockroach tried to fly away and the lizards jumped on it, like grabbed it out of the air,

pulled it down, and then proceeded to eat it. Grabbed it out of the air? I'm ready for another biblical flood. I think we should start over. jumped on it, like grabbed it out of the air, pulled it down and then proceeded to eat it. Grabbed it out of the air, that's exciting. I'm ready for another biblical flood. I think we should start over. I'm sort of done with a lot of the stuff that's here. What is the connection between those four? Work, fly, truck, and fox.

Oh, this is all lyrics from Harder, Faster, Better, Stronger. Of course. Work, truck, fly. Work, fly, stronger. Of course. Let's work, truck, fly. Work, fly, box, and truck. These are fly, truck, hand, fly, hand, work, work hand. So far, the Michael J. Fox thing is kind of fun because it's like Marty McFly drives a truck.

Oh yeah. He works hard in the movie Back to the Future and his name is Michael J Fox. Thank you, James. These are all types of school. Is that it? These are all types of school that you could have. No, no.

Oh, truck school. Adding another word to it was on the right track. Yeah. Fox hole, work hole. Fox trot, truck trot. Fox hole, work hole. Truck hole, fly hole. Fly truck. Fly, fly, fly hole. Once you get it, you're gonna be like, oh. Fish, fish, fox fish. Fly truck, fly hole. Once you get it, you're gonna be like, oh.

Fish, fish, fox fish. Fly fishing, work fishing. Fly fishing. Truck nuts, fox nuts. Fox, fish fox. Fox nuts, truck nuts. It's not an animal that you add to this. Is it, does it go before, after each word?

It goes, fox glove. Before each word. Before each word. Mini goes. Probably after. Fox glove. Before each word. Before each word. Before. Mini truck. Is it a mini, mini fox? Oh, mini fox.

I want one. I want a mini fox. Oh, where do they sell them? I would say the work and truck are maybe gonna be the most helpful. I don't know. It's hard when you know the answer to know what would be helpful.

But a word that could go before work and truck Pickup Fox pick up work. Yeah handy truck handy work handy specific kind of truck dump truck dump Fox It's not really a specific kind of work Jenna I just want to say I'm so sorry that you had to dump that Fox. Oh good for you pick up work He was no good for you. Pickup work. Pickup fox. No.

You said that too. Okay, hold on. We hold on. I do want to see a scene. I got to see a scene. So, Adle, you are, your name is the pickup fox and you're teaching us a class of like very, very new to dating people how to be a pickup fox. Hey, everyone.

Thanks for coming to my workshop. It flips a coin in the air, catches it with my hand. I am the pickup fox and I'm gonna teach you all about the fox game. Now, here's what you do. Pencils out, notepads ready. When you see someone you went to date or take home or kiss, what you do is you Fox-neg them what this means is you raise your heckles okay you make your fur kind of stand on the end and become coarse and you start to growl now let me hear some

growls that's how I hear someone howling and here's someone howling what did he Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr You two I just called up here. Let's say, a person who wasn't howling, what's your name? Who wasn't howling? Oh, I was growling. Yeah, I was growling. Vicki. My name's Vicki. Vicki, so nice to meet you. Beautiful. And what was your name, Howl? My name's Ronnie Pienos.

Beautiful. Kisses your hand. Ronnie Pienos and Vicki, you're going to do a scene. Vicki, you notice Ronnie playing piano and you just have to talk to him. Here we go, action. Hey, I noticed you're playing piano and I just had to talk to you. Writes down phone number, puts it in Mal if eats it.

Oh wait, Vicky, you got it down pat. Wait, what? Refund check. I was doing everything that I've written down so far. Is this class mostly just writing down your phone number and then eating it Who told you that have you taken this class before who told you that no no I just sort of connecting the dots together It's why everyone's ending why is this information out there? I'm ruined. I'm ruined I don't know. You had to sign our own NDAs and then we ate them. I'm saying.

Okay. This is a specific kind of truck, but I would not say this is a specific kind of work in the way that you're thinking about work. The word that gets added to the front of work makes it not work. It makes it a totally different thing. No.

Did you take out the car? This is a home truck. Is it? We never drive a Toyota. home work is sort of a kind of work. And this is a sort of, this is not. When you add the word to the front of work, it's not any sort of labor. That's its own single individual riddle. That's one more riddle tucked inside a riddle.

When you say a certain kind of truck, Erin, is this gonna be like a certain brand of truck? Is this like Dodge? Hand truck, hand work, hand fog. Toe work. Toe fogs. Okay. Toe fogs.

I'm grateful that these trucks exist. During Thanksgiving with you, Aaron, I had a slice of Toe Workie. Moving truck. No. Moving fogs. Come on, trucks that you're like, thank God. Box trucks.

Silly trucks. Because a lot of. We're like, thank God. Yeah trucks, semi trucks. Because a lot of- Trucks that we're like, thank God. Yeah, they have a purpose for our society. They serve us well. Snow truck. Food truck. Food truck.

Amazon truck. Where else would we get food? Semi truck, semi work, semi work. No. Water truck, porn truck. In a way, it's sort of a water truck. It's sort of, there's a water component to this truck. Hey, Colgan Fox.

Okay. There's a water component to this truck. Oh, fire truck. Yes, fire. Wow, fire truck. What is a fire truck? Fire fly. Fire truck, fire work, fire fly.

Well, I forgot, hand is not part of it. Like the browser. What is a fire hand, Aaron? Answer for your crimes. Can we take a break and weep? Yes, we're taking a break so I don't have to answer for my crimes. Addle, go, go, go, go, go. Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, Addle, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Uh... What's up? You know how I told you guys that I wanted to learn a new language? And you two absolute jokers, shamokers, sent me to a farm to talk to a pig who could speak

English. I think was what that was going on with Aaron. Babel? He's going for Babel. No, we told you to go to Babel. The best way to learn a language, immersion, JPC, not living on a farm. You have to live where the language is spoken and use it every day. But if that's not in the cards this year, because you have a baby,

you have to speak baby language, you can still learn a language the second best way, and that's with Babel. It's a science-backed language learning app that actually works. So you don't have to pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. It's just quick 10-minute lessons that are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Okay, so that's really much better.

It says that Babbel's designed by real people for real conversations. And I got to be honest, I talked to that pig for a lot longer than that and he had some pretty generous way to say this, outdated ideas. Uh oh. Yeah. Well, unlike that pig, Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations and delivered with conversation based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world.

I'm going to France this year and I'm downloading Babbel so I can order at restaurants and say hello to people and thank people after I buy all of their antiques from their stores. And I'm finally going to talk to my dad. Salam alaikum, Father Habibi Mubsut Handalah. Babbel has over 16 million subscriptions sold, plus all of Babbel's 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee.

Oh, and I gave the pig my email and he is sending me a lot of emails. Is he sending that some email? Is that what he's sending? Yep. Yep. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash Riddle. time Get it. That was there before. Oh. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Okay, I'm hacking the computer. Let me just slam on the keyboard here. We're

almost in. Oh, there I found it. Squarespace.com. Cracks knuckles. Yeah, you just logging into your Squarespace? Yeah, I'm logging in. You're a hacker. I'm logging in like a 90s TV hacker. Let me slam on my keyboard a bunch. I'm in. Okay, it's not your keyboard, it's my keyboard and you're really damaging it with your slams. Takes big swing of energy drink. I'm in. Oh, Adel, I feel like anyone can use Squarespace. It's a tool that makes it easy to create beautiful website, engage your audience and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on your terms. Yeah.

Adel, you don't really have to hack into it. Yeah, sure. It's for everyone. Let me just set up some custom merch here, easily sell some custom merch and create a passive income that engages your audience and scales your brand. I'm in. Okay, yeah. So that's the custom merch that we already have set up.

You just, you hit backspace a bunch of times. It looks like you maybe deleted some of the merch. Slammed Backspace. Adel, Squarespace has an online store where you can sell your products, whether you sell physical, digital, or service products. Squarespace has the tools you need to start selling online. You don't need to hack into anything for that. Oh, yeah? Rolls eyes, picks up a copy of...

Oh, that looks painful. Yeah, they're stuck, they're stuck. I'm in. Jeez! I'm in. I'm in pain. He's in trouble, that's what he's in. Addle, I mean, I can see you trying to hack into this, but you can just host video content

and organize your video library to showcase your content on beautiful video pages, and sell access to your videos with member areas. You don't have to hack anything, you just... Addle, you don't have to... Addle, give me the keyboard. Points to a copy of Isaac Asimov's complete works. I'm in.

No, no, and Addle, these energy drinks you're drinking, looks like they all expired in 1994. Oh, look. These, you can't be, you've been drinking these? They're dust. Oh no, look, we gotta get Addle to the hospital, but what you should do is go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to www.squarespace.com slash Riddle

to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I'm in. I'm in. Oh he crossed over. Alright. And we're back and Aaron is still on trial. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This NDA is airtight and by that I mean it's been eaten by a fox so we can't get to it. Oh, it's been eaten by a fox. Mm-hmm. Case dismissed. And Diana? Ew. Take another break.

Is it too soon to take another break? Let's take another break and here we go. One, two, three, four. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge.

Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey, little bridge. Hey,, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, I did. Should we try to do it again? And we're gonna go on a break. Break. Break. Break.

And we're back from the break. Thanks, NC. No, you're bad with power. You're bad with power. I am not. We're taking a break. No. Break.

Break. Break. And we're back from the break. I love being old man puzzles again. Why am I out of breath? What are you guys doing on your breaks? I am exhausted. man puzzles again. Why am I out of breath? What are you guys doing on your breaks? I am exhausted. Too many breaks.

I'm playing a little fire hand for myself. No, Erin, do riddles. No more breaks. You have to do riddles. Erin, please, we'll do riddles. Not guilty. Your honor, not guilty. Thank you.

Let's take a quick break. God. And we're back from the break. Okay. Round three. This one's going to be pretty hard. I'll be surprised. I think through deductive reasoning you could probably do it. Oh, god. And we're back from the break. OK.

Round three. This one's going to be pretty hard. I'll be surprised. I think through deductive reasoning, you can probably get it. But I don't think that this is necessarily easy. I don't remember deductive reasoning being part of the puzzles, riddles,

and lateral thinking list. We'll go back and add that. OK, cool. We'll do it every episode. Also, product idea, deductive seasoning. Huh, what do we think? Oh, that's, oh, and it's for seasoning duck for you vegans out there.

Ooh! Yeah. Deductive. Deductive seasoning, eat like a ducktective. Huh, okay. That's that Jason Alexander cartoon, right? Yeah. And we're going in. I'm just kidding.

No, Erin. I love it. I love having this much power. Ross and Mitchell are under. This episode's already 10 minutes longer because of all the five-second interstitials we've added into it. I'm starting to worry that JPC's just going to leave abruptly. I hope not.

Yeah. At some point, I might just walk out. This is the easiest paycheck Casey's ever made. If that happens, that's the only reason why. Okay round four, three. Round three deductive, could we skip to four? We said we did round three during the break. Yes. We aced it during one of those breaks. A nickname for the bathroom that originates from the creator of Flushing, of the Flushing Toilet. I didn't know this. John?

A nickname for the, yes. Yeah, John Flushing. These are Beatles. Mm, just wait. 2011 film starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost featuring Seth Rogen as an alien who escaped Area 51. This is the end. What's his name again?

Doug. It was something. Ed, Roger. Roger, that must be, no that's the alien from Family Matters. Remember Family Matters? Paul, it is, they are beetles. No, no they're not beetles, they're tracts.

Don't fall for the trap. Yes, Paul was a beetle. Don't fall for the trap. Don't fall for the trap. Don't fall for the trap. A word referring to something that is of a town or city opposite of rural. Ringo. Urban.

No, urban, yes. Keith Urban. Keith Paul and Keith John. These are all Keiths. These are all outfitters. What you would call someone who's devoutly religious, almost to a snobby level. Annoying. Sucker.

Annoying sucker. Indoctrinated. No. Okay. Pious. Pious. Pious. Now what? The pope. The pope, the pious, John. They're all ponchos. They're all popes. Pope, the Ringo.

I would like to see a scene. See the little ponchos. The three. The little ponchos. Poncho Urban. Poncho Urban is, holy shit, that's the best name ever, Poncho Urban. The three of you are all popes and you are all meeting together to sort of discuss. How there were three popes. Yes, how they're...

Yeah, maybe it... JPC, you're the current pope and then Janet and Al, you were previous popes and you're you're looking for their counsel Previous pope do they don't they just die and then that's one Retired they can choose to retire. Okay. Well, I died. I'm a ghost. Hey guys. How are you? Hey popes, don't they just die? Hey guys, what's going on in the land of the living? Here I am in ghost form. Want to hear how everybody's doing being a pope and not being a pope.

I am. Oh, go ahead, please. No, I wanted to summon the former popes, even the spirits of the former popes, because I have such a hard decision to make. Must be nice to be the Italian pope. You can do the accent and everything. I was the Argentinian pope, and of course, I can't do the voice. Well, I also was Italian, but everyone knows when you turn into a ghost,

you just have an American accent. So that's one of the first things that goes when your body dies is your accent. I'm really looking forward to that. I'm really looking forward to that. I am too. I'm looking forward to that too for you. So my question for the two of you who are the most recently deceased the Pope's, is it cool if I just stop being the Pope?

I don't actually know that too many people are like even aware of the Pope anymore. So it feels like kind of like the perfect, like this is like a Bitcoin in like 2010. Like this is like the perfect time to kind of like get out of being a book friend I gotta tell you something This is gonna be really bad news for you because you're not real plugged into the to the world of the the the internet But right now you've never been more popular people are making AI art about you That makes you look like a gangster like a a cool, heroic gangster. Am I right, Leo?

Yep. A Stussy, if you know the cloth brand, Stussy has a lot of Pope hoodies. It's like Pope doing sort of like the cross, like the 1990s hip sort of crossing the arms with fingers kind of move. People say that when you make like a bold, when you make a bold, brave mood,

that like cuts away from like, you know, status quo, they're like, Oh man, you just poked. So you're like, in, guy. Yeah, you're a verb now. Pope is a verb. Also, did you think 2010 was the best time to sell Bitcoin? No, to get in! To get into the Bitcoin. I see. I'm sorry, I misheard. I misheard. Not the sale!

That's why I retired, is because my hearing is going. You died. I mean, let's be honest. Oh no, you didn't know. We gotta tell you something. You've been walking around telling people you're retired. You are not, you are no longer living, my friend. You think you couldn't do the Argentinian accent, it's been taken from you. It's been taken, that's why, that's why none of us could hear it in your voice.

That's why none of us could hear it in your voice. That's why none of us could hear it. You've been talking just kind of regular the whole time. And we, oh my God, I know what this means. Did I just die? Oh buddy. Come on. Unbelieveable. Fun.

Incredible neck muscles. There really is a lot of AI about the Pope right now. It's extraordinary. Extraordinary. It's extraordinary. It's simply extraordinary. Ha ha ha. Here we go. This is a whole new round.

Okay, okay. All right, ready. Yes, round five. They can be great white or hammerheads, but can suffocate if they stop moving. Sharks. Sharks. Oh, sharks.

Yeah, sharks. An animal, and we learned this already, so nobody freaked out. We already gave you this terrible news, maybe 100 to 200 episodes ago. An animal that can orgasm for up to 90 minutes. Pig, pig, pig, pig. I still don't wanna think about it.

I don't think it's fair to bring that back up. I don't think it's kosher to bring it back up. I know it's not kosher to bring it back up. Let's take a quick break in case you plug in that pig orgasm sound for the next hour. No, no, no, no. I have old man puzzles. She's in charge.

No, just play the pig orgasm sound without going to break. Can we at least talk over it? Or is it? Are we talking over it right now? Please tell me we're talking over it. Please tell me we're doing something. Something to cut through the noise. Teacher could be fun. Let's all try and match its tone. I love the idea that the pig orgasm is like a vote It's like a vocal orgasm for the full 90 minutes the full 90 minutes I like to think that the pigs orgasming is like Okay, I hate I hate that I actually hate that so much so far we have sharks and pigs

So we know it's probably gonna be professional sports teams The species of famous Italian children's character Geronimo Stilton Stilton what the famous Italian? I don't ever heard of this. I've never heard of this Is this like Dominic the donkey is this like Ratatouille but not? What am I trying to solve for here? It's the type of? What kind of animal? Monkey.

Rat. How are we supposed to know this? Close with rat. See, I told you it was Ratatouille. Badger, raccoon. Ferret. Sugar glider. Ferret.

Close to rat. Hamster. Capybara. Ring-tailed lemur. Squirrel. No, close to rat. What's the animal that's close to rat. Hamster. Capybara. Ring-tailed lemur. Squirrel. No, close to rat. What's the animal that's close to rat? Mouse. Guinea pig.

Mouse. Yes, a mouse. Didn't we say mouse a long time ago? I don't think so. Or was the pig orgasm so loud no one could hear it? Yeah. Pig orgasm is... Casey, can you audio EQ the pig orgasm?

Can you bring the pig orgasm down and me up? I didn't hear myself. I'm hearing the pig orgasm. Can you bring the pig orgasm down and me up? I need to hear myself. I'm hearing the pig orgasm in my hands. I'm getting a lot of like bleed through other people's headphones into their microphones of the pig orgasm. Do you have the capability to put pig orgasm in my headphones?

Cause why am I hearing it all of the sudden in my headphones? Wait, I took off my headphones and I'm still hearing it. Casey, how are you doing this? Still hearing it. Creature used as a symbol for Hufflepuff and Hogwarts. That's a badger. Badger, shark. No one of these all have in common.

Oh, I know. Mouse. I know. These are all games from West Side Story. Adel, do you wanna see if anyone else can get it? I'm gonna give a hint. Janet, okay, wait, no. JPC, I'm gonna give you the first one.. JPC, I'm gonna give you the first one. Yes.

Janet, I'm gonna give you the second one. I'm gonna give Aaron the third and I'll take the fourth. These are all, I got it too. So do I have to give Janet a hint now? I don't know if it's gonna get them. Is this how this fucking works? These are all characters that have appeared, animal characters that have appeared on Magic Tavern.

That are played by. Again, I have to stop you there because I never played a shark. I played a person who was. Yes you did. No, I played a person who was married to a shark. My name was Louis A. Shark and her name was Lois A. Shark. But you did play half a fish, you played half a fish man, fish horse, a Fintar.

That's not the same. I played a Fintar. If Fintar was one of the answers to this riddle, then it would be people we played on Magic Tavern. Somebody better clean the fucking gunk out of their goddamn ears and go back and listen to that episode from very early on in the podcast. And I don't want to put too fine a point on it,

but Ross, I think you're the person with a gunk in your ears in the thing that what JPC you're the person with gunk in your ears in the thing that what JPC was suggesting. You have gunk in your ears. Yeah. I was positing that maybe perhaps you had gunk in your ears, and you can choose to see that as a negative or you can choose to see that as a guy you never even fucking met you saving your life. Because you're going to go to the Minute Clinic, you're going to say, do I have gunk in my ears? They're going to go, oh my God, yes, you actually had a dangerous level of gunk in your ears. You actually haven't been hearing shit, right?

Since like 2018 when that fucking podcast episode came out. And I just saved your life Ross. And Casey, turn up the pig orgasm in Ross's headphones. So if you're named Ross right now, you are hearing an unbearable squeal. Ross is gonna need that really loud because of all the gunk in his ears. Aaron, why are you fanning yourself? Your cheeks are flushed. Let's not even joke about me being horny about it. If a pig can hear it for 90 minutes, y'all can hear it for the last 15 minutes of this episode, okay?

That's not up for debate. I'm dying. I hate it. Casey, listen to me. Listen to me. I'm your boss. Make this episode two and a half hours long. At the hour mark, our episode ends,

and then I want you to put a 90 minute chunk of big orgasm into the end. No! So many people are gonna be like, ooh, a two and a half hour episode of Hey, Riddler Riddle. This must be something special. What a treat. No, no, no.

Oh, and Janet's there? A really special episode. I can't wait. Here's my issue with that. Normally, maybe 100 episodes ago, I'd go, Casey, of course, a 90 minute of a big workout to the end of the episode, of course. You've really matured.

Thank you, I thank you. But I also think my level of self-awareness, I have this overwhelming feeling that people are about to hit their wall with us. I think a lot of patience and Goodwill are about to run out and I think we're on the thinnest of ice. And I think that us in 2019, 2020, maybe could have gotten away with 90 minute pig orgasm.

I don't think we have the Goodwill for that. And I wanna respect our listeners enough to know that we don't, we can't do that. What a beautiful speech. I hope there was a pig orgasm playing underneath that speech. Erin, look around you. This is the snow here's your train.

This has been auto-tuned so that it's playing the national anthem, but it's an auto-tuned pig orgasm. We never stop. You just added two hours of work to Casey. I hope you're happy, Janet. I think the biggest problem that Casey's probably going to bring up in the end of this episode is that there is no open source pig orgasm. Like sure, there's plenty of YouTube videos of pig orgasms.

So Casey's going to need to make a pig orgasm. Like, sure, there's plenty of YouTube videos of pig orgasms. So Casey's gonna need to make a pig orgasm. Yeah, Casey, we do a lot of work with talking on the podcast. Why don't you just make a 30 second pig orgasm sound and loop it, Casey? Will milk its lupes. This podcast is about altruism.

It's about altruism for humanity. And if there isn't an open source pig orgasm out there, then Casey, that's what your responsibility is. It's making me nervous that we don't see Casey typing. Did Casey free Casey? Casey's typing into a different browser, pig orgasm, open source, not royalty free pig orgasm, 90 minute minimum.

Royalty free pig orgasm. I'm not reading what he said. I'm not reading what he said. I'm not reading what he said. Here's what I'll say. I'll read it because it is very funny. Casey wrote, fingers busy jacking this pig off. And let's go on a break. That's me clapping.

And we're back from that break. I hope anyone came back. I doubt it. I can tell you who came back from that break. I hope I hope anyone came back. I doubt it. I doubt it I can tell you who came back is the pig. No All right, hey everybody we're back and I want to give a big shout out to our new audio editor Please welcome Doreen Doreen say hi All right Doreen's dead Say hi

All right Doreen's dead take a break take a break And we're back from the final break we're so sorry, okay, yes here we go Oh, the audio editor is back. Please welcome to the show our editor for the longest time piggy jerky How I hate this I hate this I It was the Barber Streisand effect. I was trying to glaze over the pig orgasm. Oh yeah, no. Don't say glaze. Don't say glaze.

Glaze ham, come on. And then I drew more attention to it. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate thinking about how we eat pigs and also like can orgasm. And also for how long.

Well, you don't have to eat pigs. That's the good news. Oh, but I do. You would deny a pig pleasure, Erin? Disgusting. Oh, guys, I actually, I am gonna start gagging. All right, wait, stop. I felt that.

I felt my gag reflex sort of turn on. Oh no. You guys, did I tell you I'm having a thing? Turn on! Wait, what? This is maybe a little too personal. I'm having a psychosomatic thing where I'm throwing up all of the time

out of nowhere without even being nauseous. Isn't that crazy? I've gone to like three different doctors about it and they think it's psychosomatic because there's no lead up to it and there's no warning for it. So I just tone up down my shirt. I am so excited to have you over to my home

on Thursday night. I'm hanging out with Janet on Thursday. I hope you have hardwood floors. We got a lot to talk about. It's worse during the day. It's worse in the mornings, not usually at night. But isn't that crazywood floors. We got a lot to talk about. It's worse during the day. It's worse in the mornings, not usually at night. But isn't that crazy?

I've just been talking to people and then I've had to run over to a trash can. Erin, a trash can? We have a lot to talk about. Erin, what the fuck? In person. Maybe four years ago, I bought you a portable throw up bucket.

Oh no, no, but see, here's the thing. I have that out on my counter, which is a really gift that I've gotten. It's full of apples. And so now I run over to it. I'm like, oh, no, I put my apples in this. But I know I still I use that when I have enough warning. But I often don't have enough warning time.

So I've thrown up into the sink. I've thrown up into a cup. What's up? One, I just want to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. Two, right now, right now, can you tell us for the rest of this episode, can you tell us which words we can't say that will sort of stop? Pig, orgasm, pigs deserve to orgasm.

Pleasure, glaze. Erin, I don't know what kind of doctor you can go into as well. We can still think pigs deserve to orgasm, even though we can't say pigs deserve to orgasm. We can't vocalize them. Silent opinions from now on everybody. And I can still eat some pleasure glaze, right? No, stop, stop.

I don't know what doctor you have been to recently, and I'm glad that you're getting these other opinions. Is it possible that you body swapped with my dog? Like, is it possible? Oh, yeah, maybe. Because the problem that you're describing is a very, it feels like spaghetti-centric problem. I have been screaming at my mailman. This is actually really helping me

because I had an orgasm for like 90 minutes the other day and now I'm starting to think I body swapped with a baby. Ha ha ha! Ah! What are we doing? What is this? Okay, puzzles, riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking. Also, Erin of course went to Dr. Prodigy, that's the only band I could think of that sings.

This isn't a Patreon episode? What the fuck? Uh oh. But isn't it so crazy, I went to like doctor doctors and then I did that thing where they put a tube down your throat, and they're like, maybe it's acid reflux, maybe it's all these other things.

It was none of those things. And then I went to my therapist, and I was like, they're telling me that it's psychosomatic, and she was like, I actually have no idea what this could be. And so I had to go to a different therapist. And then he was like- I'm not sure about the psychosomatic thing.

I'm worried that that's like the vestigial, like tale of women and the history on it. And like, we're gonna send you to the, like would they say that to a guy? I guess they probably would. But listen. I said the same thing. I said this is very like she's hysterical.

Right. Type behavior. But they did because it start, when it started, it was after an incident. They have connected the dots of those two things. Oh, I don't, I mean, I mean, I cannot wait for you to come over. I cannot wait. I hope we get to the Pirates of Penzance.

I hope we get to it. Well, I don't hope, I don't care. We don't have to, we don't have to. The doctor that hears about the concept of something being psychosomatic is like, well, I just bought my vacation house. I mean, like, oh, yeah, I ran the three tests I know, and so it's gotta be psychosomatic. I don't know, doctor, my bone is protruding out of my arm. They're like, that's just in your head, lady.

It's all in your head. So you think, so you think. Yeah. Okay, this is the last one. I don't, I, I, Episode of your period? Episode? They were in the middle, yeah. This is the last one.

Sorry, everybody. Well, if that is the last episode, I feel like we should go on one more break. All right. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Break. Go. And we're back from break.

Last one, though. Hey, Erin. Erin, do you think that people are looking at their podcast players when this episode drops? See that it's 2 and 1 half hours and think, I'm going to skip ahead just to see what happens in the last one or two minutes. What kind of craziness are they getting up to in the last 20 minutes?

Do you think that there's a person out there that skips forward to the last 90 minutes of the podcast, here's the pig orgasm, and then says, well, I guess I'll go back and figure out what all this is about. Or do you think that they just say, no, I'm done with this podcast? GBC, I'm sort of firmly on the side of us

not adding an extra hour and a half. I just don't want to offend any animal, animals or animal communities or people who care about animals. Well, here's the thing. Now we definitely have to make this a two and a half hour episode. We don't necessarily have to put pig orgasm in it, right?

We could just put an hour and a half of silence into the episode and have people like search for the pig orgasm. Aaron, if it asoices your fears, that you will run tonight. Oh, asoices. Asoices, sorry, I'm thinking of what I'm gonna eat for the Italian dinner I have later. Aaron, what if we put the pig orgasm

over top of Claire de Lune? I'm listening. What if it just Claire de Lune for an hour and a half and like JBC says we hide the pig orgasm in there. And if somebody, the first person, yeah. If the first person to find the pig orgasm and send it to our, a screenshot of it to our Instagram, let's say, Hey Riddle Riddle,

we'll get sent a free piece of merch. And I do want to say the free piece of merch is going to be my new children's book where is pig orgasm now every page there's a pig orgasm hidden oh is that a caveman and that's a punishment and then we'll also send you real much I'm looking at the list of words that we can't, was pig orgasm on there? Yes, yeah. It was, it was. Did you hear that? I literally had a little gag. No, no, no. If I throw up on the show, it'll be game over for me.

It's not gonna happen. We're on the final round. If you throw up on the show and I don't see the bucket that I bought you, I'm gonna fucking flip my lid. We're on the final round. I do love that bucket. It's really emotional every time I throw up into it because it's a really boppin' gift.

There you go, there you go, final round. There you go. Final round, final round. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. A word to describe a surface coated in grease and gunk. Pig orgasm. I was gonna say that's activating my gag reflex.

Grease and gunk turns out is like not good for me. Stop, stop. No, no, she's fine. Mercy. You're fine. A word to describe a surface coated in grease and gunk. Dirty. Dirty. Grimy. Grimy, yes.

Blank money, blank problems. A song by the FBI. Mo money, mo problems. Mo grime. These are all exes of you on this. Name of Rick's son in The Walking Dead. Huh? Shane.

I never watched it. Who's name? Who's what? Name of Rick's son in The Walking Dead. He screamed it. I remember season one, he like screamed it in a way. Oh, Walt. No, that's lost. Maybe you'll be able to get this from just getting

the last one. Singer whose third album was titled, Are You Gonna Go My Way? Lenny Cravett's. Yes, blank, Cravett's. Lenny? These little stooges, Grimey, Mo, Lenny, and Curly? Grimey?

No. You're telling me in Walking Dead, the guy's name, his son Curly? Squiggy? Was the last one that we got Cravett's or Lenny? Yep, Lenny. Okay, Lenny. Lenny? And you're telling me in Walking Dead the guy's name, his son Curly? Squiggy. Was the last one that we got Kravitz or Lenny? Yep, Lenny. Okay, Lenny. Lenny, Squiggy.

Squiggy was not one of them. Lenny, Grimey. Lenny, Moe. Grimey and then the Walking Dead one is Carl. Oh, these are all Simpsons characters. Yes, played by? Whoa. Hank Azaria? Hank Azaria. Yes. Wow. Yes, played by? Whoa. Hank Azaria? Hank Azaria. Yes. Wow.

Yes, yes. Good work. Thank you so much Ross, who lives in Ireland. Please come to Ireland, thank you. I am Ross, I'm going to Ireland later this year. Erin, I'm going to Ireland later this year. When? End of May.

Maybe I'll go, maybe I'll go. Maybe I'm gonna go in May. I'm going May. JPC? May, April. Maybe I'll go in April. Oinkazaria, oinkazaria. I'm going in May, April. Maybe I'll go in April. Oinkazeria, oinkazeria, is that anything? Oinkazeria.

Oh, can we skip plugs and just end the episode? I'm dying. Yeah, well let's take a break. Break, break, break, break. And we're back from break. Janet, anything to plug, anything you want us to check out? You know what, I honestly, I don't care about anything in the world right now

except getting you well. So I'm gonna go ahead and plug Erin's health and wellness. Nothing else matters to me. And I'll go ahead and plug the guided meditations that Casey and I did that are still available. You can still buy them in our Patreon store, our digital store. And thank you for everyone who has already purchased them.

Hell yeah. And I wanna plug, of course Erin getting plug, of course, Erin getting well, of course, what JPC said, and also the celebration that Erin, if you look in your mobile app or whatever you look at, we've released all your money into your account. Godspeed. It's $17.

Yep, that's all the money. Erin, what do you have to plug? I got to plug, I don't know I got nothing. JBC listeners keep listening keep listening to the end of the episode you'll realize what we spent all of Aaron's money on it was not cheap. Let's title this kid episode let's say that this is the kids. No Jupiter I'm actually done we're getting the hell out of here. and MOE in the morning. Riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, riddle, something. The end of the episode that you just heard was was false. It was constructed afterwards in post at the behest of my employers and I can't bear

the weight of guilt that I've held for the past 25 seconds that the theme has been playing. So I needed to come clean and I am going to play for you the unedited audio of how this recording really ended. I think it's important that you hear it. I think it's important to the very concept of truth important to the very concept of truth that this be part of the public record, this true ending. So here it is. Casey Suellentrop No, no, no, Jupiter. I'm actually done. We're getting the hell out of here. Oh, Casey, no! Casey, please! He had that ready so fast. Oh my god, Casey. The best app, the best app. We'll see you at the potties, everyone. I hate this.

Dang, I hate this. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Can we go on another break? That might be my favorite episode of the week. I know, can we? I'm not kidding. I'm crying, that was so funny. I'm crying.

I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying.

I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. it and stop it and stop it. Can we go on another break? That might be my favorite episode of the week. I know, can't wait. I'm not kidding. I'm crying. That was so funny. I think this is some of the hardest I've ever laughed. Oh my gosh.

All right, and there you have it. I also just want to say one last thing that any restraint throughout this episode that I seemingly showed in terms of, you know, additions of other pig orgasm sounds throughout and whatnot, was restraint at, again, the behest of my employers. I would never withhold those choices from you. Willingly. So, you know, Take that as you will. dollars a month or start your 7-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Any of those ad-free episodes. See you there!............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Hello there, I'm JPC, a certified relaxation expert, and I, with my colleague and doktor

of sleep own medicine, Casey Toney, want to introduce you to our series of guided meditations. So if you've ever felt stress, anxiety, or a general sense of being overwhelmed, we invite you to listen to our meditations and ease your way... Casey, what's going on? Yeah, sorry JPC, looks like the backing audio crashed. It looks like... Huh, that's weird. It's gone. Gone?

Do we have another track that we can use? I got this wacky cartoon sound effects pack. Yeah, I mean that could work. So come with us on a journey of discovery, deep reflection, inner peace, solitude, tranquility, calmification, quietude, Harmony. If that sounds like something you need, go to Patreon.com slash Hay Riddle Riddle and purchase Volume 1 of our guided meditations.