Hey Riddle Riddle - #298: 2 Hams in a Clam w/ Josh Gondelman

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

We have comedian Josh Gondelman on the show to ask him about his experience with escape rooms and identify the horniest beverage. Plus we've got an irresponsible transit emergency, a friendly dinner with a couple of drinks, and then we forget to do more scenes because we were having too much fun. Tim & Lizzy, we hope you're both doing great.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanGmailGuest Starring:Josh GondelmanEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And of course, it's Friday! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, nine, ten, eight, nine, ten, nine, ten, nine, ten, nine, two, three, four, hey, we're the Bridge Jumps! Hey, guys, thanks for coming over. Just, you know, make yourselves at home. The one rule, though, everybody just has to wash their hands before they come in, because, you know, from outside. So just wash your hands. Sure, she's off, she's on.

That I don't care about at all. The only thing I care about is wash your hands. And I am a stickler for this. I am going to have to watch you because I know a lot of people just turn the water on. They wave their hands in front of the water. They don't get them wet. Then they wipe their dirty hands all over the towel. I have to change the towel. So I'm just going to watch you wash your hands. And I'm just, if we're putting our cards on the table I'm a bit of a stiffler for this is your mom home. No, I'm an adult man. Don't live with my mom Interesting. Well, I have to head out actually

It's a washing the hands thing. I knew it. I knew it's a washing the hands thing with you You don't want to wash your hands You see we just think you're a hand pervert, and that's why you have people over, is you want to watch. A Herbert, a Herbert, if you will. A Herbert, you want to watch us wash our hands, you hand pervert. I don't want to do it, okay? I'm going to do it, but you'll never see me.

I have a mirror in the bathroom. It's a two-sided mirror. The sink is big enough for two, three, maybe four people to wash their hands together. So I don't know what the issue is. This is oddly comforting. I don't know why. Did your sink a yearnil at a baseball game? What's going on with the sink?

This is huge. This is like a pig trough. Hold on, first of all, first of all, I didn't buy my sink when they were clearing out an old high school baseball stadium, okay? That's insane. Ice in the sink? I'm just gonna use hand sanitizer before this episode.

Yeah, that works for me. So JPC can't watch it. Feels the same for me. Feels the same for me. And who's this guest? Who's your guest? You brought someone else over to my house? They're refusing to wash their hands.

Is that okay if we bring them in? Guests don't have to wash their heads. Come on, man. Well, fine, our guest is standup comedian extraordinaire, New York resident, former Bostonian, I believe, Josh Gondelman. Come on in to JPC's house. Oh, thank you.

I'm gonna put my shoes on my hands. And, uh, kick back. This guy gets it. Yeah, hands up, kick back. Wait a minute, you're from Boston? Mm-hmm. What part of Massachusetts are Boston? Uh-oh.

I have the test. I grew up in Stoneham, which is just south of the North Shore, where I-95 and I-93 meet north of the city. And then I lived in Alston and Brighton and Summerville for a while. Oh, nice. Okay, very cool. I'm from South Shore. Oh, we're both.

We're rivals, I guess. I'm from Hangham. Oh, I know Hangham, yeah. Yeah. My family's full of Boston trash from Dorchester, Quincy.ingham, yeah. Yeah, my family's full of Boston trash from like Dorchester, Quincy. Nice. But Hingham is one of the, we both come from cities, one of the Massachusetts unpronounceables,

where I bet people who aren't from there say Hingham. And I get Stoneham. And then Stoneham. Mm-hmm. Oh, well, two peas in a pod. Very relatable Massachusetts problem. Two hams and a clam. Two hams and a clam?

Oh my gosh, okay, that's our tour. We're doing a cabaret act, two hams and a clam, nobody take it, it's ours. Yeah, nobody take it. I know how tempted people will be to take it, but don't. You two have some of the thickest boxed in accents between the two of you that I have ever heard. I mean, it's almost unlistenable.

I can't really make heads or tails out of it. Yeah, JPC and I are trying to decipher what was just said. You both sort of slipped into this deep, rogue. Ha ha ha. I said hierarchy with a Boston accent the first week of college. And I got teased so bad that the class had to end early. So since then, I have corrected the ship

and I've gotten rid of the accent. My first week in college, I called a water fountain a bubbla. A bubbla, yeah, of course. And people were like, what the fuck is that? Did you crawl out of the Charles River? That's so funny. Friend of the show, TJ Jagodowski has said,

JPC, he said that's one of our D&D games. He said the only way to tell a true Bostonian is to have them pronounce the word S-C-A-L-L-O-P. Now Josh, would you do us the honor of pronouncing S-C-A-L-L-O-P? Scallop. Okay. Well, I think.

It's supposed to pronounced to fuck you. It's supposed to be scallop. I think it's scallop. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you would know better than I do. I also there's a couple like there's some words that it doesn't even occur to me that I say with an accent that I like don't because there's some that I consciously course correct mid syllable.

And then there's some, like I say Florida and people are like, nope, it's Florida. And I'm like, that's ridiculous. Who would say it like that? It's either Florida or flow right out. Those are the two pronunciations I'll accept. The way that you said scallop feels more like a Maine accent to me.

So you can tell TJ to burn in hell, I guess. What do I mean? Tell him that I think that he's wrong. I'm gonna say that to TJ. The sweetest man in the world. Look this guy in the eyes. Josh, how do you feel about riddles, puzzles, escape rooms, lateral thinking problems, crosswords? What's your feeling about those?

Oh, I love them. I've never done an escape room, which feels too intimate. I don't like people seeing me under duress in that way. Intimate and under duress. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Behind Josh's curtain here. It really lets you people like I love a crossword puzzle, and I'll even do a crossword puzzle with other people.

But I don't like I'll ask my wife for help. It's not a problem asking for help. It is. That's a separate problem I have. It's like in an escape room. I can just imagine the stress coming out. And it's like someone watching you watch the NBA finals where I'm like, I'm not this guy. This is like a voluntary thing.

I'm a person who lives in society. I can't I can't be like, yeah, I know, I know the newspaper dates are the same date every year, 10-year intervals. I don't know how that helps us get out of this goddamn room. Josh, your shirt is off and all the nachos are gone. What's going on, buddy? Yeah, I smeared the nachos on my back. I thought it was a clue.

Rally nachos. Rally nachos. Yes, it is interesting having done, I think I've done 80 plus escape rooms at this point. It's very interesting to go almost exclusively with people I know. It's very interesting to see what elements come out in people's personalities when they're put in,

when they're put in a stressful situation in terms of like, do they not communicate? Do they like try and take charge and start yelling at people? It's like the Stanford prison experiment every time. It's very interesting. I would truly rather if someone was like, do you want to do an escape room? I'd be like, do you want to just see what I look like naked? Because that feels less appealing to me. Do you want to see me give birth? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause that feels less intimate. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, birth is the original escape room, I believe.

Yeah, that's so true. And it's an escape room. Yeah. If I had someone do an escape room with me and their first response was, would you like to just see me naked? I'd be like, huh, I feel like you just want me to see you naked.

No, I don't want that at all. It's how, that's how much I'm anxious about an escape route. I just think, do you want to know my credit score? Anything but watching me with time pressure to solve a problem that doesn't matter. That's the thing. It's a problem that doesn't matter. When there's real pressure, if someone's like, my car broke down, how do we fix that? I'm not like, okay, I'm going to behave in an embarrassing way. But when faced with arbitrary obstacles,

I'm like, I don't know what's gonna come out of me and I don't want people to see it when it does. This is the opposite problem of vanilla ice. Check out a problem, you won't solve it. We have a lot of escape room creators, Sandy Weiss, the Luckmans. That's so cool. Anyone out there who's listening to this episode,

please build and escape the womb. Maybe there's clues, maybe there's audio clues, but they're like muffled. Don't do that. Yeah, I'm gonna think on mine with JCC, I'd say probably don't. I'm hearing a lot of classical music. There's a placenta pool, yes.

Yeah, just sucking nutrients through a placenta. That's sick. Um, this isn't, and I'm not anti escape room. Like I love it sounds so I, cause I love puzzles and I love thinking about things. Like I just got into, um, I, I just did the connections game over the first time. And I was like, Ooh, this is like, I like the way that this makes my brain. It feels like I'm kind of like reorganizing it. And I love like, God, I feel like.

If if instead of a toll booth, there were just like a troll that you could answer a riddle instead of paying six dollars or whatever. A troll booth. Yes, exactly. I think I think that would be sick. I would like that. But the idea of like people around me watching, collaborating to solve a problem, and it's like, I just know, because I try to be very even-killed,

but I know I would be like, I would just be like, Alex, your boyfriend is not helping right now. And then I would have to send them an apology edible arrangement. Yeah. Have a silent dinner after the escape room where everyone's just cutting their meat.

Decompressing. This makes me think, I do want to see a quick scene. So we're going to see a scene where, Josh, you are driving a car, you are on the highway on a tollway. And there is a, it's one of those tollways with like six or seven open spots. All of the traffic's moving very fast. But then there is another, it's one of those tollways with like six or seven open spots. All of the traffic is moving very fast, but then there is another side that says troll,

and you're in that line, and that line is very long, and Adeline, Erin, you are very mad that Josh chose this line. OK. I think once we get past this, we should stop at the next rest stop and get coffee. Todd, my arm is broken. This is sort of an emergency, man. We gotta get Denise to an ER. Why did you go to the troll booth? This...

I just, like, it's like $11 to go over the bridge or you could solve a riddle. This just feels like a slam dunk to me. Last time we did this, we were in the car for four and a half hours. Yeah, and we saved $11 and we still got to Nana's house. Welcome. How many axles have ye? Two. Is that the riddle? That's an easy riddle. That's just a question.

No, I think the difficulty is based on how many axles you have. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. Yeah. so two, but you could give us like a four axle problem. Ah, yes, a challenge accepted. What sleeps in the morning, drinks at night. I'm losing a lot of blood. Never. Is she okay? From your broken arm? The bone is sticking out.

Oh, I didn't know it was one of those. I thought it was like one of the other ones. I'm so sorry This is it's fine. I don't know. This is bad troll Can we I I didn't realize how bad her arm was broken I thought it was one of the other ones would it be okay if we backed up is it all right if we back just Like I'm gonna back up and we'll go through the people are gonna yell people are gonna. Yeah, is the riddle it? Yes, no wait No People are gonna yell. Is that the riddle? Is the riddle? Yes. No. Wait. Uh. No, this isn't part of it. I'm doing a different thing.

Of course you can back up, but 20 years off your life I will sup. Wait. Will sup? He's gonna eat 20. What is going on? That's. I don't. I don't think he has that authority. Like the transit authority can't take 20 years off your life. I think I might be dying, but I'm glad that you saved $11, Todd. But 20 years, I think we can get this. Okay, wait, so it's drinks in the morning, no, sleeps in the morning, drinks in the afternoon.

Since I didn't finish the riddle, I will have to produce a new one. Okay, fine, give us a new one. What sleeps in the morning and drinks at night? Wait. Are these all about sleeping and drinking? This poor guy's just describing his life. It's a sad troll.

You don't think the transit authority can take 20 years off your life? Talk to this troll, Josh. Yeah, I guess you're right. I just don't, I feel like he's doing some extra judicial stuff. Yeah. I love the idea of instead of a,

well in Illinois we have like the I-Pass or whatever. I love instead of like the automated thing, it's like a little beeper that says like cloud, egg, like just says the riddle for you as you go underneath. It says the answer, yeah. The answer, yeah. The life cycle of man. It's a pre-loaded answer.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's just an authenticator app where the riddle, the riddle answer changes every minute. Oh God. Yeah. If only they'd let me organize society, I'd have a better way of doing things. It would be so whimsical. I would move to the moon. I would move to the moon immediately.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Day one, I'm out of here. No air up there, no riddles. That's smart. Okay, well, hey, those troll riddles were really great, but what if I told you that instead of hearing Adol kind of improvise a troll riddle, we could answer some riddles that real people sent us in the year 2018? Huh? That's pretty cool.

Oh man, these are all riddles that are very like, hashtag resist. Some pre-COVID riddles. Orange and ruining democracy. I don't know if some of these riddles have aged well. I've also noticed a disturbing trend when I'm looking through riddles from 2018, because people will sign off the riddles with their name. But also, if it's Gmail and you change your name on Gmail, it will update since then.

So there's a lot of discongruity between the names people sign off on and the name that is displaying on their Gmail. So I have just kind of a mild level of stress that I'm just like dead naming all of the people that sent us rentals because six years is a long time and they've probably changed. So I'm blanking apology. I'm just going off. I'm using bad information. Someone gave me some really bad information. If I get, if I get your name wrong, I was thinking about it because if it's a first name that changed, right, that feels like maybe a transition. Last name is as as marriage or divorce.

And I don't wanna say which is best case scenario for a given person, which is worst case scenario. Or it's also possible that, and I'm not gonna name names as who this applies to, but some people have insisted that their name in Gmail has to be Gmail. They don't know how to change it. They in fact can't change it. He's talking about me.

I don't know how to change it. I have tried for years. Now this is the greatest riddle of all. Should we just do a hard pivot in this episode and the three of you help me figure this out? Let's do it. I, Aaron, I swear to God, I have written down for a live show in the future,

I'm gonna get your phone and I'm going to change your name in Gmail to your name so that I know that you can't handle what's on my phone you can't handle the truth but email to you for the last six years it says hi Adel hi Gmail is I'm trying my best that's's what the worst part is all about. Erin, sweetie, no. See, this is what I think an escape room would feel like to me. And it would.

Having been in an escape room with them, this is exactly what it feels like. I'm doing my best. It is a bad impulse, but my impulse in an escape room isn't to solve riddles. It is to create chaos and confusion and any sort of interpersonal discord that I could throw into the mix.

That's what really gets me off of the escape room. I would lose my goddamn mind. And I would make you believe that that was your problem and not mine. It would absolutely be my problem. It would take a while for me to say anything, but I would be slowly going crazy. My brain would feel like it had turned into spiders

that were trying to escape my head. Okay, well, I will say of these riddles, we're gonna do some riddles from listeners. Some of them are kind of frustrating, but they're also like kind of warn-uppy, but there will be a payoff. So if you don't like these, hang out, because in the after the break and the second half of the show,

someone else had submitted a very fun game that I think everyone will have a lot of fun with. So if we're not having a good time, the good times are on the way. So these should be work and the rest should be play. Exactly, exactly. Understood, yes, yes, yes. We're all gonna have a nice little salad

before we tuck into our dessert. That's how meals work, right? Salad and dessert. Is there anyone? Yeah, yeah, the two of the two courses. Is anyone else a, when you get like a plate of food, right? If you get a, it's like an omelet or a burger with a little salad and some fries, I house that salad right off the jump.

Salad's gone before I take another bite of the food because I know once I finish that burger, I don't even wanna see the salad. Yeah. So I gotta get it out of the way first. I am the exact same way. If there is at any point a salad in the mix, I have to eat every shred of that lettuce

before I touch the food that I actually want to eat because yeah, if I even have one french fry, I'll never touch the salad. Yeah, I'll never go back. I do that with almost everything I eat. So if I get like a pack of Starburst, I'm like, let me get these yellow out of the way. Let me like choke down these orange

and then the last five bites are gonna be sweet, sweet reds or pinks. Like, yes, absolutely. Choke down orange Starburst. What a chore that is. Yeah, as an adult, I guess you could just like give them away to someone. I'm not sweating the whatever the the pro rated cost of like 72 cents is going to be, but it does feel wasteful,

even though there is no nutritive value to them. I see a post on Nextdoor that says, is someone in the area feeding all the geese orange starburst? Because they are dying rapidly. I was cleaning my house yesterday, and I found from Halloween a five-pound bag of assorted candy. And I just had to throw it away. I was like, I can't.

There's not a way. First of all, this is not, I can't just give this to children or something. Like it's bad for them. It's like- There's one day a year you're allowed to give candy to strange children. I can't just leave it on the street.

From a house. I can't just leave it. I had to get rid of it. I was like, I can't keep it here. If I keep it here, I eat it. And that's- JBC, what about your unmarked van? Can't you drive around in your unmarked van

and sort of pull up the schools and try to give it away that way? I was like, can I show up to a food bank and be like, hey, can I donate? It's going to expire in 30 days, but can I donate five pounds of candy? And they'd be like, no, no one needs this. This isn't my story to tell, but my friend Ashton, who is one of the founders and editor in chief of Flavorant Mag, which is great. I'm wearing the t-shirt right now, actually.

But she told me she saw someone buy a Kit Kat the other day that said it expires in March of 2024, which is this month. And then they were like, do you have any fresh ones back there? And they were like, a month window isn't good enough for you. Hot off the press Kit Kat. Well, in their defense, like a Kit Kat, I have to imagine that it's going to last like three years. So to buy it on its expiration month, I'm like, this is an old KitKat. You're not moving a lot of product.

I like somebody buying a KitKat and sitting on it to be like, is this going to appreciate? Like, that's the same day. That's the same day to eat. What are we doing? A KitKat's like wine. This is a 98 Kit Kat. Just like smelling one of the bars of the Kit Kat like a cigar. The waiter breaks it just to aerate it and be like, is this, yes, this will do, yes.

That sounds so gross. Can I swallow a breath? Come over to my house, I got a carafe of Kit Kats just breathing, just so everyone knows. You've got to break them up before company comes, and that just lets the flavors ripen. Oh, this has been rapper. This has been rapper.

Toss it out. All right, we have to do some riddles. This is a riddle from Nicholas. Nicholas writes, throw me out the window, leave a grieving wife, but leave me in the doorway, and you might just save a life. What am I? Wow.

Is this like hinge? Like you meet a wife on hinge, but a hinge on a door keeps it from falling on you? Adel, that is so close to something. It's not the answer to this riddle, but you're onto something there. Yes. Can you read it again?

Erin, I'd love to read it again. Thank you. Also, when I copy and past? Aaron, I'd love to read it again. Thank you. Also, when I copy and pasted this, I didn't write the answer, so I'm glad that we gave me time to remember what the answer is, which I have remembered. Okay. Throw me out the window, leave a grieving wife,

but leave me in the doorway, and you might just save a life. What am I? Now, a grieving wife would be a widow. Yes. So throw something out a window and it becomes a widow. Oh, so this would be the letter N? This is the letter N, yes.

Wow. But what's the second part? The second part is, but leave me in the doorway. This one's a little more obscure and you might just save a life. Is it donor way? Is that that? Yes, yes. It would be to add an inch to your way.

I was thinking French hold. Oh, Adel. Oh, Adel. That was a good riddle. That is a good riddle. Yeah, surprisingly good. Adel, you really got on it quick too. You knew that this was like a language thing.

Cause I was picturing just like, oh, what are some things I would throw out the window that my wife would be mad at? Orange Starburst. I was thinking like vampire stuff, like vampires coming through the door. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, Aaron has triplet on the mind.

Always. That is interesting. I was thinking about vampire stuff. So here's what I wanted. So vampires famously, just like Jesus, you have to invite them in for them to be able to cross the French line. And just like Jesus, tough to get them to leave.

I would like to see a scene. JBC, you are throwing a dinner party and Adel and Josh are your guests, but Josh, you are Jesus and you're sort of overstaying your welcome and not taking the hint to leave. Well, slaps my upper thighs. It it's getting to be getting to be that time. OK, this has been so fun. What do we all say to one more round?

Who's got the water? I'll switch it up. You know, yeah, yes, I can't say we're out of water. So yeah, yeah, I'll get another pitcher of water. Hold on, I'll come with you to the kitchen. I'll just hold my fingers under the faucet, wineify it as it drips. No, no, don't do that because it works backwards

and it fucks up my hot water tank when all the water in that turns to wine. I took a really surprising shower the other day. I'll bring it, I'll bring it. You guys just hang out for a second. I'll bring it. Okay, okay. Hey, can I, Jesus, can I ask you, are you,

are you mad at me? Am I mad at you? I feel like the whole dinner, you were talking about this and that and I feel like you kinda were glancing over at me and I'm mad at you? I feel like the whole dinner, you were talking about this and that, and I feel like you kind of were glancing over at me and I just wanted... Are we cool? I just... Well... At the last supper, things got a little weird.

Yeah, yeah. So at this dinner party, I've just... I'm sorry, this isn't about you, I'm just in my head. Little drunk, I'm in my head. Gotcha, gotcha. Alright, I got the water, and you know what else I got? Is, I'm just in my head. Little trunk, I'm in my head. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. All right, I got the water, and you know what else I got? Is to-go cups.

I forgot that we even had these, cups with lids. So if everyone kind of wants to take theirs to, maybe we do a little toast, take a sip, and then we take them to-go, if that's... I just, that's... Brother, that's against the law. Yeah, you're right, you're right you're right I just yeah you're right no okay let me just line them up yeah

big bang bang the j man did his thing can I get a new one Jesus put his finger in my dad's how you do it he didn't wash his hand I don't and also and also Jesus I love the whole water to wine thing thank and I love that you asked this time but sometimes people do just want to drink water I don't understand I don't speak for anyone else I'm so drunk right now my urine is

bright red that blood that's not on that's not on Jesus okay you that's maybe you ate beets maybe you got a UTI but I'm not taking the fall for that. You could you could lay your hands on it to cure him if it was a UTI or beets right? I do have to lay my hands on his penis if it's a UTI. This this guy Jesus you I see you. Which I'm, not that there's anything wrong with that. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I've seen you cure so many lepers by touching them. I've seen you wash so many feet, and then you put your finger in my drink,

and it just sucks, it just sucks. Oh, you get something against lepers now? No, no, no, no, no. Some of my best friends are lepers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you brought him over. And if you could cure them as well, that would be awesome, because I am not a clothes-minded person at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, but... You're a clothes-minded person, new toga. Yes, thank you so much for noticing, Jesus. You could have noticed as well. I noticed too, I just didn't wanna say anything because I like your old toga so much too. I didn't want you to just think I like the new one. Okay, you know what?

I feel like everyone, we're getting a little heated here. I think we can kind of just settle down. I enjoy everyone's company. I'm glad that you all came over. I'm glad that I'm so glad we're hanging out. It's been too long since we've hung out. This is too long. Yeah. Hey, John. Hey, John. Yeah. Um, I there's people I, I betrayed Jesus. There's people coming to me. We can stay here just 20 coming. A lot of people betrayed Jesus. Alright, here we go.

We have another riddle. I don't know if this is for the video game fans out here. This is in the video game Skyrim. There are some riddles and Carly or Carlay, I don't know how to pronounce it. It doesn't matter. Sent us one of the better ones from Skyrim. So I don't know if oftentimes there will be like flavor text stuff in video games that I'm like, okay, this is,

this is, I think the last time I played the God of War game that came out a few years ago had a ton of riddles in it. And they were like to flush out the universe riddles. And honestly, some of those were pretty good, but I've opened some books in like Morrowind before and been like, huh, this is nothing. But this is a fine one. A metal neither black nor red, as heavy as man's golden greed.

What you do to stay ahead with friend or arrow or steed? Hmm. Can you read it again? What? Aaron, I can absolutely read it again. Second time's the charm. A metal neither black nor red, as heavy as man's golden greed. What you do to stay ahead with friend or arrow or steed. Is it lead and lead as homophones?

It is lead and lead! Wow. It is lead and lead! Nice. These are good riddles. Yeah, that's lead. Nice. These are good riddles. Yeah, that's nice. I do like that one. Okay.

Congratulations, Josh. You have one point. And this is a good time to remind everyone that we do keep points from the rest of the show. When we remember once every three years. The endorphins flooding my body at being on the board with these riddles. Yeah. It feels like the way people describe, like when, like when you're dying, like I think answering that riddle right release DMT into my body. Are you replaying your childhood to like right before your eyes?

All the riddles of my childhood coming back to me. All the Laffy Taffy rappers. It's so funny. Popsicle sticks. The the Laffy Tappy wrappers. That's so funny. Popsicle sticks. The flesh in the fantasy, I can barely recall. Yeah. All right, this next riddle is from Tim and Lizzie. Tim and Lizzie write,

which of the following words doesn't fit the pattern? Stop, crop, drop, or flop? Okay, and this is, speaking of DMZ, this is from DMX. Stop, drop, shut them down, wear your crop top. Stop, crop, drop, or flop. Stop, drop, crop, flop. I don't think the order matters, but it's stop, crop, drop, or flop. Now flop, of course, we have flip-flop. Drop, we have drip-drop. Crop, what was the other one? Where is he going with this? I want to know. We don't have stip-stop, so it's got to be stop.

What if he gets the right answer? Is it like those shitty math classes you take growing up where you have to have your work be right too, not just the answer? Yeah, that sucks. I'm with Aaron, that sucks. Yeah. Fuck that. Yeah, my work is wrong, I cheated.

I cheated on the test. So yeah, there's not gonna be work. Texas Instruments now makes a calculator for riddles. So I know the answer's right, I just don't know how I did it. Absolutely ridiculous that Texas Instruments makes calculators not guns. That's a good point. JPC, can you, can I just guess?

Yeah, that's how this works. Wait, read them again. That's how it's always worked. Read them again and I'm gonna go off vibes. Stop, crop, drop, or flop? I'm gonna go crop. Incorrect, Erin, that is a great guess, but it is not the correct one of those five words.

Drop. That it is not drop. Flop. Erin, it is not flop. Wow. Almost more impressive that you went over three. Yeah, that is unlikely. I can't show my work mathematically

of how unlikely it is, but I know it's unlikely. Aaron, would you like to take any more guesses? No. Aaron's all done with guesses. So stop is the answer, and we just have to pick no. No, stop is not the answer. How did we get four guesses wrong when there were only four options?

Well, Tim and Lizzie said that this is maybe a frustrating rental, but I will read it one more time. One more time. Okay. Which of the following words doesn't fit the pattern? Stop, crop, drop, or flop? Or. It's or.

Gosh darn Yeah. Gosh darn it. There were five words in there. Okay. Okay. Okay. But this riddle submission comes to a little bit of a story

because this riddle submission came in. Yeah, calm us down quickly, JPC, because the three of us are about to fly off the handle from that riddle. That's from Tim and Lizzie. A few minutes later, we get another riddle submitted from just Tim. So I think what happened here is that riddle, whatever Tim and Lizzie had, a partnership,

a marriage, a friendship, is gone, is over. That drove a wedge between them, and now it's Just Tim from here on out. Well, famously, Tim, Lizzie, the boys are back in town. BOTH LAUGH Tonight there's gonna be a riddle somewhere in this town. BOTH LAUGH So this is a riddle somewhere in this town. So this is a riddle from just Tim, single Tim living their best life out in the town.

Alright, don't even read that other bullshit riddle. That was just to get Lizzie off my friggin' back. Sorry about that. Okay, so Lizzie and I just had a huge fight. Lizzie doesn't sign off on this rental. I'm sending it anyway because I'm Tim and I have an email address. I can do what I want. What do you call it when you're

free for the first time in your life? When you can just be you? When it's Tim time? And then the next email he's like wine drunk and he accidentally sends the please come back Lizzie email to us. A band of gold that weighs you down Five years of marriage a big frown

Tim hey, I know this is a couple years ago But uh, do you guys still have Lizzie's email because she blocked me and I know I just know that if you emailed Lizzie on my behalf Just hey, here's the riddle. How do you get her to come back? I would love if there was more performance art like that in our email. If anyone really wants to sort of do like a cool mystery short story. And they have to be.

In 2030, you'll get around to reading it. Yes, we'll read it in 2030. But it has to be, here's the thing, it has to be three emails or less, okay? Yeah, yeah. And it has to be good. So brainstorm before you just start sending the email. I want good, good emails.

And I think also like feel free to space it. Feel free to space it. Do some return bits where you reply back to an email from like three years ago and be like, hey man, I changed my mind. Please don't read this riddle. This is actually gonna ruin me. I'm a lawyer now and I just can't have this

getting out there. Like do some of that. I've actually, I've been clean from riddles for three years. And if you read this, I'm worried I'm gonna relapse. I'm gonna start questioning everything. My sponsor's gonna hear it. Okay, so we'll move into this one. Was this you writing into the podcast?

Like, whoa, that sounds like a riddle to me, boss. Yeah. This should be like the person on Twitter who for like a year started each of their tweets with somebody once told me the word. Like that was impressive. That was a feat. Yes.

Okay, yeah, so can you? Some people painted chapels and beautiful portraits 500 years ago, and some people did that on Twitter. And honestly, I prefer the Twitter one. That is a good legacy to me. Hey, we're all going to end up in the same place. Heaven. Now let us pray.

Well, it's interesting. Okay, so this is just from Tim. This is just from Tim. Given to you dry, once made wet, I can wet you in return. Towel? Erin, I thought towel. I thought towel as well.

It is not towel. Tim did say in this email that they made this one up. This is a Tim original. Yeah. Okay. This is, so maybe this is Lizzie had a point. Or maybe Tim's a star. Maybe Tim's, maybe he's, Tim is short for Timberlake and he's going to have a great solo rhythm career.

Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Given to you dry, once made wet, I can wet you in return. Was dry shampoo around in 2018? No, they just did that. That was a 20... Was it a 20-18?

It was a recent invention, recent, okay, okay. Yeah, it was probably a custom. This is November, so yeah, I bet it was. I bet it was. Right around the corner, right around the corner. Yeah. Given to you dry. Given to you dry, once made wet, I can wet you in return.

I think that there probably is a lot of answers to this. Is this like tea? Adol, it is tea. It is absolutely tea. I don't get it. So tea is- Go ahead. Please, no.

You have the tea bag or the tea leaves, they're dry. You make them wet and then you drink it and that makes you wet? What's your whistle? Hey, no, no, no. Yeah, no. Cause y'all horned up. Why don't you need tea before bed?

Right? Twinnings, please take the slogan. We make you wet. Please. What before bed? He's supposed to be doing. I like, I love this. I love this effort.

I think he, I think if I had one critique, Tim, let his the allure of riddle speak overwhelm the logic of the riddle itself. Right. Yeah. Like, yeah, it felt very riddle ish. But when you're like, is that what you like? The part of me that I put the tea on is already wet. Yeah. Tim, let Tim, like the part of me that I put the tea on is already wet. Yeah. Tim let the riddle speak overwhelm and now Tim and Lizzie don't speak anymore.

If Tim and Lizzie and their separate houses with their two separate small dogs are still listening to this, maybe give it another shot. Okay. Maybe we all did some riddles that we didn't agree with, and it might be time to bury that. I'm also so sorry if you did break up and we're just parading the corpse of your relationship all over town with not even a care in the world. Can I ask the three of you a question?

Yes, please. And I really want you to think hard about this. Is there any drink or beverage less horny than tea? Because I think tea is the least horny the Queen's juice You're so right, I'm so glad I asked this is and we're saying this is the least horny beverage. Yeah. Yeah Okay, I'm gonna say what about those got milk ads though. Those are pretty horny. Oh the mustache I'm gonna say Mountain Dew Baja Blast

I was thinking about Mountain Dew because it's tied into Taco Bell like you cannot have one without the other They are a pair. Yeah, and having Taco Bell is the least sexy thing you can ever do in terms of the feeling you have after You eat it. I recently accidentally saw a Mountain Dew commercial and there were like people like BMX biking onto a train and they were like grabbing Mountain Dew and I was like, wow, we still are doing this, huh? This is still the market that Mountain Dew is going for. It seems insane because all of the people that grew up on that in like the 90s when that was their ad campaign have grown up to be, I've got to say, probably not a lot of

BMX bikers. So I feel like now they should be like retooling, like how everything is just existing IP. Mountain Dew should just be like, hey man, like why don't you just sit down in a chair and drink a Mountain Dew? Life is fucking hard. Like you're allowed to be who you are. I don't have to pretend like I'm getting

on a fucking long board tomorrow. I'm not. Right, I can drink it at work. I have a job. 39 years old. Can I still drink it? I have a son. Can we drink Mountain Dew together?

Is it only for him to do well? He's like smoking cigarettes in a parking lot. Yeah. With his shirt off so I don't smell it later. I can drink a Mountain Dew, it's fine. All right, all right. We do have to take a quick break. When we get back, we will do some riddles on the other side, plus a fun game. Look at this tease.

We will be right back. Woohoo! Woo! PGPC, do you have a minute? Oh yeah, yeah, what's up? Wow, you were sound asleep. That's crazy. You were fully sleeping at your desk.

Sorry to wake you. So- Oh, both of my arms are asleep. I fell asleep leaning on both of my arms. I need arms. Will I need arms for this? No, I don't think so. I was looking at my Rocket Money app, my absolute favorite app on my phone.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Mm-hmm. I was going over all of my expenses from 2023. Sure. And I realized that I spent about $4,000 trying to get Adil out of the cat costume last year. Yeah. Yes. That's a lot of money. And I know currently he's stuck again, right? about $4,000 trying to get Adil out of the cat costume last year. Yeah. Yes. That's a lot of money. And I know currently he's stuck again, right?

Yeah. I mean, I was just telling you about the app that I downloaded about trying to track if my friends are stuck in a cat costume. And I have not used this app in a long time. And it is a monthly subscription app. I'm paying upwards of $900 a month. And yeah. Whoa. I'm getting a lot of cosmetics, okay? They got me in the micro economy. I can't upwards of $900 a month and yeah I'm getting a lot of cosmetics okay they got me in the micro economy I can't I can't I can't get out of it it's just too fun to get cat costume you know versions of what Adol might be stuck in I gotta I gotta quit it I have to quit it and I think it

sounds like I'm struggling with my finances and rocket money might be exactly the thing that helps me through it. Yeah, they will find all of the subscriptions you're not using or you don't want anymore and they'll cancel them for you. Also, they will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you by up to 20%.

All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll deal with customer service for you. It's like having an assistant. It's incredible. And Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features.

And Erin, I think that we're driving that average up because of how much money we're spending on this cat custom. Shenanigans, really. He's our friend. He's our friend. We gotta keep that in mind. He's our friend. He's our friend. We gotta keep that in mind. He is our friend. It is not a waste of time to hang out with him. But it is a waste of money to buy things you don't need. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel

your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle rocketmoney.com slash r i d d l e. I love you Rocket Money. All right. Let's get the scissors. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. GBC you are just in time. I am making my new website using Squarespace. Okay, and can I, I'm sorry to, I just want to get ahead of it. We're just in time. I am making my new website using Squarespace.

Okay. And can I, I'm sorry, I just want to get ahead of it. The website that you're making on Squarespace, which is, we all know, they're all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. We all know this. The website that you're making has nothing

to do with Addle being stuck in a cat costume again right? Yeah. Erin, we have to we have to think of something else we there has to be we have to think of something else. What do you mean think of something else this is a real thing that he keeps doing if he wants us to talk about something else he should stop getting in these too small of cat costumes. You know it's a real thing I know it's a real thing, I know it's a real thing.

Everybody listening knows it's a real thing. I'm just saying, respective of that, you and I, we have to think of something else. Help Addle get out of acatcostume.com is gonna be thriving. I can sell exclusive content on the site by adding a paywall to sell memberships or courses, or sell files so that my customers can download like PDFs, music or ebooks. Because there's going to

be a lot of content to download of us trying to get Adil out of this costume. Yeah. Plus with Squarespace websites, you have flexible payments. You can make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and ineligible countries that offer customers the option to buy now and pay later with after pay and clear pay. And I know we have been flooded with donations to try to get Adol the equipment that he needs to get out of this cat costume, but I have to tell people the stuff that you're suggesting doesn't exist yet. It's the it's dangerous. We want to use it. They just can't manufacture it yet. And I mean, we're trying everything and we're filming it and we can upload our video content,

organize our video library and showcase our content on beautiful video pages. So you can sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to your content. So if you want to see these videos of us trying to get out of these costumes while he's just screaming, he doesn't know what he wants. He's like he's acting like a cat who's stuck.'s just screaming. He doesn't know what he wants. He's acting like a cat who's stuck. He's scared because he doesn't know where he is. So he's scared and it's natural to be scared in this situation and we have to think of

something new. Listen, all you got to do- Never, never. Addle, if you want us to think of something new, you ought to show up, buddy. Yeah, you solved this problem, Addle. All you have to do is head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch,

go to www.squarespace.com slash Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And look, we bought Addle is stuck in a cat costume.com so you don't have to. So don't bother looking for it because we own that. We own it, don't worry about it. Addle is stuck in a cat costume. If he's not here, it means he's stuck in a cat costume

and there's no other concept we'll ever come up with. Stop emailing us. He's stuck in a cat costume, bye. Are we lazy? Yeah, we're lazy people. We just, you know, we're not smart. We're not good people. No, of course not.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, Erin, I don't know. What do we do in this situation? Should we try texting him? Should we try calling him? He's not here. Oh, you know what I can do? Yeah.

This is so, I downloaded this app forever ago. I'll just check it. Is your friend trapped in a cat costume after redownload it? There's an update from the store. There's an update for it Yeah, they're updating this thing all the time Okay. So yes, so this is why I got the app. It looks like he is stuck in a cat costume again The app says again. Yeah, are you telling me we couldn't think of a different concept? Doubling down on at all being stuck in a cat costume? Hey, sometimes thinking of concepts is hard.

And if your brain is too full of concepts that you're thinking of, maybe it's time that you try out online therapy. Uh-huh. You know what I'm saying? Well, JPC, yes, I use BetterHelp. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, I would give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, I use BetterHelp. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, I would give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with your licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge if the fit isn't right. I love being able to message my counselor at any time being like,

oh my gosh, I have so many funny, cool ideas of where Adel could be and why he's not here today. I don't even know where to begin. And then she can get back to me with a timely response of like, Erin, make a list, three. It's okay, you're a genius. All sorts of stuff like that. I'm glad you brought up the fit not being right

because why would you try to get in a cat costume if you know it's not gonna fit? Like, look, hey, I'll be the first to admit, we're not in our 20s anymore, okay? We can't fit into the cat costumes of yesteryear. We have to accept and embrace our own bodies and how beautiful they are and maybe just buy a cat costume that fits us.

Right, and you don't wanna be making the same mistakes over and over again in life like Addle, where you continually get stuck in a cat costume. So you know what? Give BetterHelp a try. Visit betterhelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. So the app has an option for me to just delete him as a contact. That could solve the problem.

Yeah. Let's try it. OK, I promised everybody that we would do a little palate cleanser, even though I didn't even really get to the atrociously frustrating riddles. But we're going to do the palate cleanser nonetheless. So this is a little game that someone named Jeff sent into the show.

And Jeff, we'll give you an example, and you'll probably get it pretty quick. And if you didn't, that's bad game design, Jeff, so that's on you. Jeff says, I give you two musical artists, and you have to come up with the before and after using a song title from each artist. Wow.

If, you know, if it gets to the point, some of these are pretty famous. If it gets to the point where you just don't know the song title or something, we can do a gimme. But for example, if I say red hot chili peppers, Simon and Garfunkel. Under the bridge over troubled water. Wow. Damn.

Absolutely, it's under the bridge over troubled water. Wow. Damn. Absolutely. It's under the bridge over troubled water. So there's the before, the unifying word and the after. And let's all agree, flea is the Paul Simon, ketis is the Art Garfunkel. Chad Smith. Old Gmail over here does not have a fast enough brain to do this game. I am so sorry, everybody. I will be sitting out and eating orange slices on the bench over here.

I do have to hear Josh who Chad Smith is. I'm so sorry, everybody. I will be sitting out and eating orange slices on the bench over here. Oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I do have to hear Josh, who Chad Smith is. Oh, I was just gonna say, he's outta there. You ever hear about Simon and Garfunkel's drummer? Nope, they're just tapping on the guitar. Brrr. I was recently, I have a different show, which is a show called Bill Buds, which is like a pop music review show, but I was recently looking I have a different show, which is a show called Bill Buds, which is like

a pop music review show, but I was recently looking up the band Phoenix, and the band Phoenix is four people, they're a French band, they're four people, and they've been around since like 95. So they've been around a long time. They do not have a drummer in the band. They have four people and they don't have a drummer. And then I saw, but they've been using the same session drummer since like 2005. So they've had this guy for 20 years and he's like, yeah, you're just like our drummer when we go into studio or we do like live shows, but you're not in the band Phoenix. And I was like, that sucks!

You have two guitarists and no drummer in a band? Leave it to the French. Uh, the French. Maybe he doesn't want to come in. Maybe he's like, I don't want to be tied down by Phoenix. It's been 30 years. You think I want to be in fucking Phoenix? No, thank you. That's had one good album.

Okay, so here's your next one. Okay. Foreigner and Vanilla Ice. Um, I'm blanking on Foreigner's big hit. Cold as Ice Ice Baby? It's Cold as Ice Ice Baby! Nice, nice, Joshy. I'm blanking on cold as I say baby I'm too exposed. I'm too vulnerable. I'm having fun Watching you run into a burning building

All the people are out it's empty it's empty's empty. Nice, Nice Joshy is far too intimate for a first time guest on the show. Overly familiar, overly familiar. You guys just wanted to do an escape room. And absolutely the title of the episode, yeah. Uh, Nice, Nice Joshy is the name of the episode, sorry, Addle. As it was in my mouth, I hated it.

We are sorry, Josh. Addle will take the mandatory HR course that we take every time we do something like this on the show, and he will not get better, I'm sorry, Josh. I'm sorry, Josh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And The Killers. Rich girl. Okay, rich girl. If it's a killer song, you could probably find a girl in there somewhere.

So Killers have, what's Mr. Brightside? Mr. Brightside. And what was the first band? Hall and Oates. Hall and Oates. You're on the Right Killers album, but you got the wrong song. Somebody told me. That's an previous album, I think.

We're talking Samstown? No, no, no, we're talking Hot Fuss I think we're like we're talking Sam's town What no no no no hot bus. Sorry. I'm sorry. I screwed up Yeah, okay, I have to deduct a point Really nice nice Joshy Did they have a song with smile holla notes yes, they do smile like they do Sarah's Smile? That's pillars. Is that what it is?

Sarah, Smile Like You Mean It. Wow. Can I get half a point? Everybody gets half a point there. I think everybody got their hands on the answer. I think it's mostly Aaron and Josh who solve that. Or as we know them on the road, Something in a Clam? Two hams in a clam?

Two hams in a clam. A clam, two hams in a clam. Our branding is not good if you've already forgotten. It's only been 30 minutes. Well, when he sees the logo, he'll be disgusted and he'll remember. OK. Pigsy muscles, those aren't even clams.

A half point for nice Joshy and a half point for Gmail. Nice Joshy's worse than nice, nice Joshy. Wow, JPC, interesting. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. God, my nickname being Gmail was something that was inevitably coming for me and it finally caught up to me.

I accept my fate. Okay, here's your next one. I think it's good manners to make the guest feel as uncomfortable as we feel just everyday walking around. I love it. Led Zeppelin and Belinda Carlisle. Oh, fuck. I knowelin and Belinda Carlisle. Oh, fuck. I know the name Belinda Carlisle. I could not tell you what she sings. Okay. But what about Led Zeppelin?

And Zeppelin has a hearty catalog. Yeah, yeah. The only Belinda Carlisle song I know is, Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Stairway to Heaven on Earth. Air Earth? That's not the point. Heaven is a place on Earth. Heaven is a place on Earth. Oh. Nice, nice. Yes, it is. Stairway to Heaven is a place on Earth. That's a half point for Adele as well,

because we didn't get the correct title. I wouldn't have been able to pull Belinda Carlisle. No. But Erin knew the song. That was incredible. Thank you. Thank you. Dave Matthews Band. And Hall & Oates. So back to Hall & Oates already. Crash Rich Girl?

Under the Table and Dr- No, that's an album. The Ants Go Marching. I'm looking at this one now and I'm thinking, hey, what? I don't know about this. The space between Hall & Oates song. No, this is a Matthews band song that I am familiar with, but it's not, it's not. Where are you going? Erin, yes, it's that one.

I think it is that one. Where are you going? Wait, do you know what that song is called? I think Erin, we're thinking of the same song. Is it called Where Are You Going? Probably not. It's probably not called that called Where Are You Going? Probably not. It's probably not called that. Where Are You Going, Maneater?

Uh... Is that something? Okay, here. I don't even know this Hall of the Nodes song. I think that this might not even be... This could be a Hall of the Nodes song. I'm gonna change it to Dave Matthews Band and Weezer. I think that that's easier because I think that...

I'm looking at this song and I'm like, this is a Weezer song I know, but it's not a Hall of Fame song I know. Um, sweater song. And Aaron, I think you got the right Dave Matthews Band song, but I actually don't know from just you singing what second of it. What do you say it ain't so?

It's what would you say it ain't so. What would you say? Wow, Josh. Yes. Dude, okay, so Josh, you are actually really fucking good at this. It's a big team effort. Is that, Erin, is that the Dave Matthews band song

that you were singing? I do not think so. That one's like, Oh, what would you say? Would you do a doggy on a team? It's my birthday, what would you say? I'm gonna bite you. And Josh, I just wanna say, don't fucking patronize us. And my birthday was a... A little bench.

And Josh, I just want to say, don't fucking patronize us. It's only the biggest stars in sports who say it's a team effort. No, that's not true. The shitty guys do that too. They're never like, wow, you had a career high seven points tonight on the block that sealed the game. And he's like, yeah, I'm kind of a boss out here. Yeah, I just got out there and I was the best one at sports.

So what are you gonna do? Anybody have LeBron James's phone number? I wanna call him and make fun of him, but he won't give me his number. It's a real Tim Lissy situation. I think this one, the difficulty on this one is dialed way back down. This is U2 and Maroon 5.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday morning.. Sunday Bloody Sunday Morning. Josh is on the board. Okay, Queen and Kansas. Um, I close my... Something... Another one bites the dust in the wind. Yeah! Another one bites the dust in the wind! I would have never gotten that. I don't know. How does Dust in the Wind go?

I close my eyes only for moments and the moment's gone. Let's all sing different parts of it. I am less sure about what that song is after the last 15 seconds. Do they sing it in old school when Will Ferrell dies? Old school. Spoiler alert. Yes. Oh, it's when Will Ferrell dies, yeah. I thought it was when Blue dies.

No, you're right, it is Blue. Blue dies, Will Ferrell. You're my boy, Blue? Yeah, it is when Blue dies. Does Will Ferrell die in old school? No matter what we can say, Will Ferrell dies in old school. No, I'm looking up. I'm getting things the wrong left and right.

You're getting all the riddles right, though, so that's important. Yeah, I'm kind of a riddle savant. I don't know any facts, I only know riddles. I couldn't tell you my birthday unless you make it rhyme when you ask the question. The day ye were born. All right, we got Lynyrd Skynyrd and R.E.M.

I feel like I said that weird. R.E.M. It's not Shiny Happy People. That's the only R.E.M. It's not Shining Happy People. That's the only R.E.M. song that matters. Give me two steps. This Lynyrd Skynyrd song, I don't even know if I know this. I feel like I may have heard this. So it's not Free Bird.

It's not Free Bird. Tuesday's Gone with the Wind, Me in the Corner, Sweet Home Alabama, My Religion. Sweet Home Alabama, my religion. Sweet Home Alabama-mer? I can give you kind of as a hint, I can give you the center word if you would prefer that. Yes, please. That word, the one that connects them is man. Southern man?

Man. Southern man. In the moon, southern man on the moon. Wow. The song is called Simple Man on the Moon if our friend Jeff is to be. Oh, could be a simple kind of man. I don't know if I know that one.

Is Southern Man also Leonard Skinnerd or am I getting it wrong again? I don't know. Simple Man is definitely one of their big ones. And it's a great song. I would bet dollars to donuts that Leonard Skinnerd has a song called Southern Man. If they're not, they're leaving money on the fucking table.

I think Simple Man would be a simple kind of man. Oh, Crazy Versus Neil Young. Okay. Oh, nice. I think Simple Man is in Happy Gilmore. No, that's Tuesday's Gone with the Wind, nevermind. No, it's in Happy Gilmore and it's when Shooter Rick Gavin dies. Yeah. Spoiler alert.

Okay, Nirvana and Joe Cocker. Smells like teen spirit in the Sky? Wow, I don't know if those are, I know, if Spirit in the Sky is a Joe Cocker song, I thought that was a different guy. Yeah, Spirit in the Sky is a different, the wheel in the sky. That is not the answer.

Okay. What's the Black Box Heart one? The only Joe Cocker song I know is the, what would the black box heart one? The only Joe Cocker song I know is the Heart Shaped Box. What would you do if a home you were home? But it's not that one. Which is a cover, yeah.

Yeah. Right, a little help from my friends. And I think this might also, this could be a cover too, I actually have no idea. It feels like it's a cover. It feels like Teen Spirit in the Sky is really good. I think we should make it that. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah, okay, should we all agree that that's what it is and that Jeff got it wrong? And that Jeff's the idiot? He looks like a fool. What's the, uh. Jeff got it that. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Should we all agree that that's what it is and that Jeff got it wrong? That Jeff's the idiot? He looks like a fool. Jeff, you got it wrong. Jeff, you're like, you're practically Tim. Uh, Jeff going full Tim mode on us? That's all right.

I hate to say it. I didn't expect this to be a two Tims episode. Uh, the center word on this one is you are. This is gonna be a Two Tims episode. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's two more words. You are. You are. Not a lot. I don't know Elijah Cocker. You are so beautiful. Oh, you are so beautiful. Of course. I didn't know that was Cocker.

Hey, it could be a cover. Who knows? Look, we all can agree that Jeff really tamed us on this one, okay? So if some of these are wrong. I know nothing about Joe Cocker. All his songs, I feel like they're covers at this point. He could just be Bob Seeger's Chris Gaines and I would believe it.

Yeah, remember when he hosted SNL and was a musical guest? And Jim Belushi came out, or not, Jim Belushi, oh no. Yeah, there's Jim Belushi. After Jim Belushi died, spoiler alert. Yes. Okay, your next one, Beastie Boys and Foo Fighters. I think I could get this one. I think I could have gotten this one.

Brass Monkey Wrench? It's Brass Monkey Wrench. Big songs for both bands. One of the formative music videos of my life, the Monkey Wrench video on the airplane. With David Grohl as the flight attendant. Did you say David Grohl? Yeah, that's very formal of you.

After Nice Nice Joshy, I wanna play it safe. It's all formal names. Mr. David Grohl. Mr. Patrick Schmier. Okay, Blank 182 and The Offspring. Um... Oh, fuck. All the small things?

This is not one of the biggest Blink 182 songs. I think you might need to be like a Blink fan to get this one. Okay. And it's also maybe not one of the biggest Off's dogs either. Okay, is it I miss you So offspring what's the one that's like give it to me baby, no, no, I for a white guy pretty Spring songs that I know self-esteem Come out and play Yep.

These are not the ring of the ring. These are not them? These are our offspring songs. These are our offspring songs. What's my age again? First date. What's a- Google Blink went into two songs. What's going on over here?

I just happened to see them in concert last year. Rock shows. Nothing's ring of the ring. Yeah, that's fun. Okay, I will say, I'll say, the center word that you're looking for is the kids. The kids. Oh yes. The kids are not all right.

The kids are not all right is the offspring song. The kids aren't all right is the offspring song. Okay. And then who's the other band? Quinquenity 2. Quinquenity 2. Uh, all day. Is it stay together for the kids or something? It's stay together for the kids the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song?

What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song?

What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song?

What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? What's the song? Hotel California Dreamin'. Hotel California Dreamin'. Adol, his eyes rolled into his fucking head like a mintat and he pulled up. He just solved a crime that hasn't taken place yet.

Wait, what were those things called? Precog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Precogs can still get you pregnant. Can still get you pregnant. Precog. This one. You don't have to cog.

But it feels great. Uh, this is Guns N' Roses and Cool N' The Gang. Welcome to the Jungle Boogie. Welcome to the Jungle Boogie. Nice. Nice, Rufus. Alright, we got four more. We have...

Jimi Hendrix and Tom Petty. Um... Ugh. This one... Ugh. This one, the Jimi Hendrix one, I'm like, oh, I don't know about this. So Hendrix has Hey Joe all along the watch tower.

Don't start with Hendrix. Purple hate. Don't start with Hendrix. American Girl? No, it's not American Girl. What's the, she grew up in Indiana town. Last Dance with Mary Jane? The actual title is Mary Jane's Last Dance, but you got that right.

Oh, so it would be, oh. A Jimi Hendrix song that ends with Mary. Did he do a version of Proud Mary? Now, I would say Proud Mary is the bigger song and you could do whoever's saying Proud Mary. Tina Turner, I think you'd do too. Yeah, Tina Turner, Tom Petty, I think would be the right way to go with this.

It feels like maybe Jeff knows a little more about Jimi Hendrix than me. The song that Jeff picked here is The Wind Cries Merry. Oh, sure. Okay. The Wind Cries Merry, yeah, that's a big one. Yeah. Okay.

I'll give it to Jeff. The next one, I haven't thought about this band in probably, I almost said 10 years, but it's been more than that since high school at JPC. It's been quite a few years. Fuel, Oleander, Slipknot, The Toadies. This is O.A.R. and Lady Gaga. Oh, O.A.R.

Sorry, who was the first one? Crazy Game of Poker Face. Nice. That was a Crazy Game of Poker Face. Wow. That was so fast. It helps that there's one O.A.R. song crazy game of poker face. Wow. That was so fast. It helps that there's one OAR song that I've ever heard. That would help, yes. That would be very helpful if it wasn't that,

I would have no chance. Ha ha ha. Uh, I don't think I've ever heard an OAR song so much as hated a OAR vibe. I think that that's, yeah. What, Jeff wrote these? These are Jeff, yeah. Jeff, let me just carve out a 10 seconds here

to say these absolutely fucking rule. Wow. Thank you, Jeff. Now, are we saying that Jeff has a little bit of Tim redemption because we've been calling Jeff a Tim for a long time in this episode. Why don't we see how, let's see how Jeff ends it. Let's see if Jeff can really stick the landing. You're on the line, Jeff.

You could be a Tim. We'll see if you're a Jeff. Or you could be a Lizzie. Yeah. Or you could be a nice, nice Joshie. We'll see. Is there going to be a third ham in our clam? We're looking for a third ham if anyone wants to apply. Or a thirdum.

Thirdum is so fucking funny. The walk to get to thirdum is unbelievable. I love it though. It took an hour. It's a beautiful stroll though. It's gorgeous that walk. A thirdum. Scenic though. It took an hour. It's a beautiful stroll though. It's gorgeous that walk. The third one. Scenic indeed.

Uh, third one. Third one's gorgeous this time of the year. The leaves. The foliage in third one. Oh, the foliage in third one. You gotta go to the park near the good Duncan. Elton John and Celine Dion. Uh, um, shit.

I'm blanking out a lot a sling my heart will go on Aaron correct half a point to Aaron. I'm going to gmail and then who's what's the first artist? Elton John my song no your song. Yeah my song my heart Wow selfish Aaron selfish What's the one he wrote? Candle in the wind Now I'm in the world. Jesus. And you can tell everybody, Oh, this is my song.

That is so fucking funny. That absolutely rules. Egotistical Elton John. Which is probably redundant. Yeah, it seems to me That I live my life like a candle in the wind. Play this when I'm dead. This isn't about Princess Ty.

This isn't about that. JPC and I in the car a few days ago came up with a new Elton John song, which is, B-B-B-Bennie Gesserit. We were on our way to see Dune II, and we came up with B-B-Bennie Gesserit. We're on our way to see Dune II, and we came up with B-B-B-Bennie Jezaret. That's very good.

My gift is my song and this one's for me, and he's gonna keep me going for the rest of the week. Oh, fuck, that's so fucking funny. So we need an Elton John song that ends with my heart. What are we talking about? And it has my heart or my? Yeah, it ends with my heart. Don't go breaking my heart will go on.

Don't go breaking my heart will go on. Oh yeah. Okay. That's a duet, right? Yeah, right? It is. Yeah. I'm gonna listen.

It's Elton John and Elton John. Because both of our sets. I'm gonna and fucking restless! Where is it? I'm looking for it. The last one... I'd say this is medium difficulty. The wall flowers and the eagles. One head light...

It's not that wall flower song. Then I'm out. It's the other one! What's the other one? Hold on. The eagles on... We're back to the eagles. We're back to the other one. It's the other one. What's the other one? Hold on. The Eagles. We're back to the Eagles. We're back to the Eagles. Tickety.

Oh, oh. It's, it's, oh. Fifth Avenue Hardake tonight. Sixth Avenue Hardake tonight. It's Sixth Avenue Hardake tonight. Wow. Yes. Woo. Wow.

Holy crap. That was impressive. That's incredible. Josh, you are the big winner of the Jeff game. Jeff, you are not a Tim. You're, it turns out. That's the prize, the prize is you're not a Tim. He's not a Tim.

You're a ham and a clam. He's a ham. I'm waving him over to the clam. There you go, take his seat. The Carson move? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carson, let's get this guy over to the glam. That's a good job.

His hairs flow out as he stands in the open glam show. The Tonight Show set in 1986. Thank you, Josh, so much for playing that game and to a lesser degree, Adel and Aaron, but you two are at work. You had to be here. You had to do it. This is our Josh. You chose to be here.

Josh, this brings us to a segment of our show where we kind of plug some stuff that we have going on. Is there anything that you would like to point people towards? Oh, sure. I have a newsletter that I read every Monday. It's called That's Marvelous. It's full of pep talks. I am currently on tour doing stand up leading up to a comedy special recording in Brooklyn on June 21st at the Bell House, which I'm very excited for.

Wow. And in between I will be in between now and then I'll be in Bloomington, Indiana, New Orleans, Louisiana, all the annas, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Dayton, Kentucky, Burlington, Vermont, and maybe a couple others. So come come see a show joshcondleman.com for all the droids. But it's also in my newsletter. That's marvelous. joshcondleman.subsec.com. Sorry for the long plugs.

Really know the space. You know, you you did it. You did the space. No, you did it. You did it up. What about you, Edel? Do you got anything that you want to point people towards? Yes. Forgive me for not knowing the exact timeline, but I want to say 2020 or 2021,

I bought a little book called Nice Try by Josh Gondelman, and it was one of my favorite reads of the year. Was that 2020 or 2021? That came out at the end of 2019, so probably 2020. Oh, wow. Okay, so I remember, yeah, I thought I had read it during the pandemic. I guess that could have been either year.

Thank you, that's so kind. I really appreciate that. But truly a delightful read and some beautiful stories. And I learned that you're a sneaker head and all that jazz. So I would highly recommend picking up Nice Try by Josh Gondelman wherever you get your books. Thank you. Of course, Erin, anything you would like to plug?

Anything from my career that you would like. And it has to be Josh or Tim-oriented. I would like to plug our Patreon. Lots of fun episodes over there. Wow, real Elton John mood. I know. And this one's for me. Elton John.

We did a zoo episode over on the Patreon that I laughed about for the rest of the day after we recorded it. So just check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Hayrita Riddle. JBC, any reviews to read or anything to plug? Well, I should also plug that if you're going to our Patreon this month, this is the first episode of April, which means we are firmly in Penguin Baseball League Month over on the Patreon. April of the Penguins is the official slogan because we couldn't do March, but it is April of the Penguins.

April of the Penguins. Because we can march. Because we can flow. April of the Penguins. And we got Morgan Spurlock to do it. Yes, yes. You know if you eat a penguin at every meal And we got Morgan Spurlock today. Yes. You know if you eat a penguin at every meal for a whole month, you feel terrible? I'm going to try it anyway.

Yeah, no shit, Morgan Spurlock. Get on the penguin baseball craze. Starting in a couple days, you can also pick up all of our sweet sweet penguin baseball drip by clicking the merch link in the show Description that will be very fun. You can you can sport your favorite team And then also you can also go to the patreon digital store and get the Guided meditation project that Casey and I worked on they are a lot of fun. Thank you for the feedback A lot of people saying some very nice things about this so far. I assume we're recording this before I told you it's fantastic.

Erin and I both said it's fantastic. Yeah, I liked it. I liked it. Now, it's up to Jonny. And I think that is it for me. Erin. Yes. Of all of the fun places to say in Massachusetts, there's one that really just takes the cake.

Would you like to say it? Jupiter. Bye. Nice, Joshi. See ya. Bye. Bye. Starting Eric Javon and John Patrick Cohen.

Casey Toney to be editing. And our grandparents in the music. Two, three, four, eight, nine, ten. The logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Napores. One, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten. Ritual Ritual. When I did an escape room with Adol and two other improvisers as a warm up before an improv show we did, which was such a huge mistake. It was like a submarine one. And I was like, gentlemen, mind the sub.

And they were like, Aaron, figure out the Morse code right now. And I was like, oh God, okay, I thought this was a group of comedians. I'm so embarrassed. Of course, right away, sir. Yes, ma'am. You're taking off your captain's hat,

putting it back in your bag. Aw, man. Casey's typing something. Didn't she famously get mad at Adel for laying in the ball pit? Yes, that happened. We actually have a recording of that. The one time we got to record ourselves in a escape room,

Adel crawled into a ball pit. It was a horror escape room, which strike one for me. I fucking hated it. He crawled into the ball pit and got stuck for the last 15 minutes of it. And I was in a ball pit, all of black balls, trying to get Adol out of the ball pit. And it was truly something I have reoccurring nightmares about.

But it was fine, Adol. You've redeemed yourself since and many an escape room. I've forgiven you. Thank you. Hard to get stuck in a ball pit, but it happened. Hey there, penguins and baseballs. It is April of the Penguins over on the Hey Riddleriddle Patreon. That means we're celebrating penguin baseball all month long, ticking off with this week

in our penguin baseball draft. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month and you get those ad-free episodes. See you there and let's Penguin Ball!