Hey Riddle Riddle - #30: Love Arrow Arrow! (AKA Hey Kissy Kissy!)

Episode Date: February 13, 2019

In this Valentines Day episode we fall head over heels for some love and relationship based puzzies and riddies! We also try and remember all the RomComs EVER, figure out how many times we've been broken up with, dish first kisses and plan out our ideal marriage proposals! Also JPC invents a new sandwich and you should brace yourself!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Oh, Riddle me kiss. Happy Valentine's Day, or close to. Drop his gross. Young. It's, hey, kissy kissy. Hey, kissy kissy. Hey, kissy kissy. When Ritty met Pussy.

Oh. These are all so bad. What are we gonna do with the year? You have to do all of these old. You have to do all of these old. All over again. I'm just a Pussy standing in front of a Ritty. Trying to solve it.

I like that one. That's pretty good. I'm your host, Adelrufie. And I'm also Ad pussy standing in front of a ready trying to solve it. I like that one. That's pretty good I'm your host Adel Riffie and I'm also Adel Riffie and I'm a dream come to life made of gold You're listening to hey riddle riddle, but it's our special Valentine's Day up So I guess you're listening to all of the shit that we just said Aaron you're going to be let let's see here, Whittle, Cupid, Pezzles? It's absolutely not. Start from scratch. Old baby. That's what we did for New Year's. Cupid, old, I don't know.

Well, let's just go what I said then. I like, both of you are like, absolutely not. I don't have any in my own offering. Okay, no. Your're so Valentine's Day. Cupid shoots arrows. Cupid is a god. The god of lighting is Zeus. What's the what's the god I love? Herries? No. Erries?

Aphrodite. Aphrodite. Aphrodite. Old old man Aphrodite. Give me out of here. I was levered. Give me out of here. My name is Aphrodite and I keep it Aphrodite, give me out of here. I was levered, give me out of here. My name is Aphrodite, you might keep it afro-tity. Ooh! Okay, so you're gonna be afro-tity. Okay, what's up everybody?

No, no. Wow, I was not expecting that. I didn't wanna be put on the spot. How in love are you with this podcast? Okay, Skill 1-10, I would say 1, 1 big love. I'm just like a responsible. I know, I love, are you with this podcast? Okay, Skill one to ten, I would say one, one big love. You're like a free half. I know, I love this podcast, I love everyone here. I love KJ sipping their tea, I love Aaron sipping their,

what is that? Diet Coke. Diet Coke in a Starbucks cup? Yeah, I buy. You're truly trash. But you're trash like trash. Aaron legit looks like CV next right now. Yeah, because of her ensemble.

I am, I'm Boston trash. You just you are truly Nothing says Boston trash like drinking I go got a Starbucks cup. Yep Anybody have any big Valentine's Day plans? Sit on the loan cry. Cool Valentine's Day plans. Yes. I can't remember I do know that I agreed to do something. No, there's some so Valentine's Day is a Thursday I agree to do sex. I'm really excited to try it. No, Valentine's Day is on Thursday and I had a conversation with my girlfriend because I was like What okay?

Level with me here like is that day? Is it the Thursday of Valentine's Day? Is that the important thing? Or can we do this like on a Friday? No, I'm not a romantic person. Because really, the premise here is that I have a show on Thursday and I was like, oh, I want to do a fun Valentine's Day episode of that show. And I'm assuming that Eddie and James would do that show with me, which is a TPK, our board game stream, are gonna have Valentine's Day plans, or probably should have Valentine's Day plans,

but there's also some movie that's coming out the Friday after Valentine's Day, and I don't remember what it was, but we made plans to see that. It's like Death Day two or something? It's not, I can't be Death Day two. It might be Miss Bala, the bullet with what's her name in it. I don't know.

You just making up movies? I don't know. We went and saw a movie the other week. We saw if Bill Street could talk. And then we saw a preview for a movie that was going to come out the day after Valentine's day. And I was like, oh, that's a fun thing we could do. Great story.

So you're going to stay home, cry. It's great. That's a great activity. I love it. Do you have any plans? No, I have, cry. That's great. That's a great activity. I love it. Do you have any plans? I had to buy my Valentine's Day gift for my boyfriend in early January because it's a commissioned bit of art.

Oh, I love art. Someone's gonna draw him in the style of, oh my god. I love style. My name is Ray. Picasso, go get it. I think it's so that falls, like in the animation. Oh, okay, cool. So, I got him that.

Is it already done? Yeah. Does he listen to the show? He's so far behind. I made fun of him in an episode and he came into Room 1 and just played that. Nice. It was like, what's the deal?

Nice. You make fun of me too much. As a little baby cupid, puzzies. Do you have a- I'm ready to go. Are these all love themed? They are. So, or relationship themed.

Um, so people get mad at our holiday episodes, that there's not a lot of riddles in them. But here's the thing, the internet considers puns riddles, like pun based jokes. So I have a lot of those, and then I have to act for it. And I've never been wrong. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, and then have four billion friends that make some enemies.

And isn't that the tagline for a movie? It is. Well, then we're going to do that, the game we played for Halloween and Christmas, again, with taglines and lines from romcoms. Hell, yeah. We many. I do love romcoms

um what what does it stand for rambo rambo companies i love rambo companies ramcom uh what did the lightbulbs say to his valentine you really turn me on uh sissy as beach you busted by filibut. Nope, but that's amazing.

One of the light bolts in. I have an idea how to please you. That's cool. I like that. Scroo-me. Oh, Scroo-me. Scroo-me and me. These are all better than the actual answer.

You're not the brightest tool of the shit. We're breaking up, we're kind of dumb. We're breaking up, We're kind of dumb. We're breaking up. You're kind of dumb. I would love if someone broke up with me with just that sentence. No further explanation. We're breaking up. You're kind of dumb. Bye. But would you get it? Uh, nope. Uh, I love you Watts and Watts. Oh, um, what's it? It's a California joke. Yeah. What did the octopus say to his Valentine? Kill me. I chose the correct soccer team that's gonna win.

What do the octopus say to his Valentine? Don't, don't, Seth Flapp podcast. No, nope. I have a razor sharp beak. Oh, I escaped from anywhere. Nope. I ink work at a fuck tonight. That's so much funnier than the one I am.

What do the octopus say to his Valentine? Do you want to know? I rate in terms of looks, I rate you a tan at a tentacles. That's great. It's on it, but it's great. Aaron's patty me on the i want to hold your hand and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand always funny because octopus don't have any fucking hands

do not have a lot of the octopus lately ripped off the fucking beetles he is a i want to hold your hand and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and Hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand say to his Valentine. Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? This? You up? Who up? I will be yours. Oh boy. Pretty good, huh? Yeah, Adel, you just say that too. You're like, Adel, be yours. And I say JPC be yours. I want to see a scene where JPC, you're going to be Darius Rucker from Who Do You in the Blowfish. Great. Can I tellPC you're gonna be Darius Rucker from Hoody in the Blowfish. Great. Can I tell you a brief story about Darius Rucker from Hoody in the Blowfish?

Did you meet him? So I was at school and my dad was coming to pick me up from school and a kid who is, this is like in grade school. A kid is sitting next to me and goes, is that your dad? And he was like, yeah, I was like, yeah. He was like sitting in his truck, we had to wait until the parents could come and your dad? And he was like, yeah, I was like, yeah. He was like sitting in his truck, we had to wait until the parents could come and get us.

And I was like, yeah, that's my dad. And he goes, he looks like Hoody. I was like, what? And he goes, hoody from Hoody in the blowfish. I go, Hoody's black. I was like, who do you mean? For a new shirt. For a lesson, I have a white dad.

Hashtag white dad. Did you want to see a scene? I did. Yeah, it was what's up. I wanted to be a Darius record from hooting in the bookish. White dad and Aaron, you're going to be in a relationship with Darius and I want to see what Darius, what you brought for your valentine.

Okay. The swine is amazing. The swine is amazing. This swine is amazing. This wine? Oh, what about the pig? It's been all day cooking. Oh, this swine is pretty good. Okay.

This wine is amazing. What about the twine that I use to type all these streamers? This twine? Yeah. Twine's good. It's not as good as the swine or the wine. Well, the swine, the wine, the twine, they're all for you. What sweet, what else is for me?

Well, I thought that maybe later we could... Are you gonna be, sorry, you're gonna be using this pickle juice? Oh yeah, that bride is for a specific purpose thing, yeah. Would you like some of the pickle juice? The bride? Yeah. No, I'm working on my wine right now. Well, the bride actually goes with the swine.

Oh, the swine, are the wine? The swine and the wine right now. Well, the bride actually goes with the swine. Oh, the swine. Are the wine? The swine and the wine and the bride. I'll combine to make something divine. I'm sorry, I think I lost my air freshener. It's like a woody scent. Have you seen it? Oh, this pine?

Oh, there it is. I hung it from the twine. I'm trying to create a evening to the nines. What comes after eight? No, I was really setting that whole thing up to 69. Oh no, I'm glad we didn't get that. Darius Rucker, I wanna, 69. All right, here's another one.

What did the train say to his Valentine? I'll let you run you on me. it was Valentine. Um, I'll let you run you on me. Oh, it's there. KJ's eyes got so big. Oh no. Let's get this relationship back on track. That's amazing.

You should write these. What are your local motives? Let me put it in your caboose. Oh my God. Oh my God. These are so much better than the one. That's the actual answer. God. It's not the Simpsons thing. Is it? What? The Ralph Wiggum. I chew, chew, chew, chew. It is. Yeah. That's one of the most famous Simpsons in this moment. Ever, right? Yeah. Are you ready for another one of course yeah what fastens to people yet touches only one. Oh fastens to people but touches only

one sex color wedding ring yeah because one person is not into it. Is that your saying? No I'm just saying that it touches it's only touching one person. Oh fastens to like a orange marriage. And here's your it should be touching opportunity to propose to add to spaghetti, but you may be the happy thing. Spaghetti said no. JPC got down on both knees. Here's your next riddle.

I have a heart that never beats. I have a home that I never sleep. I can take a man's house and build another's. And I love to play games with my many brothers. I am a king among fools who am I? Honestly, JPC fits for all of those things. I have a heart whenever it's JPC. I have a heart that never beats. I have a home but I never sleep. I can take a man's house and build another and I love to play games with my many brothers. I am a King among fools who am I? Wait, wait, wait. What was it? I

can take a man's house. What is it? I can build a man's house. I can take a man's house and build another And build in others build on others a no and build another's a tree I have a heart that never beats. I have a home, but I never sleep I can take a man's house and build another and I love to play games with my many brothers Parker brothers, you're the important parts of this riddle. I have a heart that never beats, and I love to play games with my many brothers. I am a King among fools.

A dead brother. Oh, well, that's not hard. A deck of cards. Oh, but more specifically. King of Hearts. Yeah. Playing with a king of hearts by that, that, that. And with a king of hearts.

I've got a beautiful, you know. I don't even know one song, and I just fit everything into that one song. I want to see you soon where Aaron, you are the Queen of Hearts, JPC, you are the Jack of Hearts. Okay. And I'm your son, the Three of Hearts. Gotcha.

Do you know what today is, son? Do I know what today is? It's your fourth birthday. What? Today is your fourth birthday. Oh, today is your fourth birthday. Today you are the four of hearts. I turn into a four. Well, well my letter change. What do you mean your letter? Or what's it called the number? Well my number change. Uh-oh. Yeah. Honey, can I do a sidebar over here? There's a quick sidebar over here. It's our heart. It's stupid. He's stupid. He's a quick sidebar over here. He's so stupid, he's a idiot. I'd have taken me so long to realize, but he's dumb as a box of fuck.

Is this your fault? Is it my fault? I don't know. It's a box of fuck. Certainly came from my fault. Hold on, let me kill this parrot squash. It was all I mean. That more, Ben?

Uh, I'm worse more than you. Okay, you're worth more than me? Yes. Depends on the game. Well, what game are you worth more than me? Yooker. Oh fuck you. You're the fuck plays you. People from the Midwest. Oh, my fuck. My point is proven. All right. You old queen, you old so and so. What are we going to do about a dumb son make a two again? Son we've we've talked and we're sending you back a year You're gonna be spitting another year as a two then you could be a three and then you'll be a four and two years. Can I be an ace? No, because of some games that's worth a lot. Yeah, it's way better and something so

But you know, can I ask you something sure you're both hearts. I'm a club Well our mailman was a club Why don't you shut up shut up? What did you have the queen of hearts? What about that? Okay, cuz I do not want to do that. I walk it with you and the Joker first of all that we what we were doing was Look what, it's Greco-Roman wrestling talk. Stop shuffle, stop shuffle, we're doing it. Alright, alright, alright, alright, let's all calm down here, okay? At least we're not like those fucking diamond people. In two seconds about to slap Jack. In two seconds. If you two have seen, slap Jack had a big button.

I've got a beautiful, beautiful hall, all walled in red velvet with all white arm tears made of bone, and in the middle a woman dances. A cuter. A cuter. A cuter, a cuter, Mattana. What a wonderful phrase. Our chairs made a good time i know

pass a phrase that means mom a jane that's the pelvic bone or the rest of your day uh... it's a problem uh... yeah it's not a cooter so i've got beautiful i've got a beautiful beautiful hall all bald and red velvet with all white arm tears made, bone, and in the middle, a woman dances.

All white tears, bone. In the middle of a woman dances. Is it a mouth? Yeah. It is a mouth. Teeth in a tongue, yeah. Teeth in a tongue, and the woman is the, what's it called?

You viola. You viola. I used to think that was a tonsil, but that's a tonsil something very different. That's true. Yes. I used to be stupid now I'm smart. I got my tonsils out when I was seven. I got my uvula out, and now I can't say uvula.

Yeah, somebody took my uvula. We're going to come back to longer riddles a little bit later. Hey girl, youvula. I'm sorry. I'm trying to make a u a little bit later. Hey girl, you've Vila. I'm sorry. I'm trying to make a you up joke, didn't work. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Are we ready? Oh, I understood what you meant. What's that? Are we ready? We are ready. We are ready. So I'm going to give you the name of a movie.

Okay. A romantic movie. Or no, no, no, I'm lying. Yeah, I'm gonna give you the tag lies. And you're gonna give me the name of a romantic movie. Okay. A romantic movie. Uh-huh. Or no, no, no, I'm lying. Yeah, I'm gonna say this to the Z-book again. I'm gonna give you the tagline. Yes. Yes. And you're gonna give me the name of a romantic movie. How funny would it have been if she just said movies and then like waited for us? Yeah. And it was like, what the fuck is happening? She gave us all the whole list of movies and then she was like, and now you go. We're like, what is the game?

Aaron, I hate to do this to you on the podcast. What's up? You're dumb. We're breaking up. and I hate to do this to you on the podcast. What's up? You're dumb, we're breaking up. What? See you tomorrow! I remember I broke up with this girl in college and then she said see you tomorrow. And she just showed up, we lost a reverse 51st date thing. How many times have you been broken up with? One, two, three, four, four, four, five, I will say.

I'm probably forgetting at least one. I've only been broken up with ones. It's with the person I'm currently dating. What? Yeah, you broke up with me. No, not today. Can you imagine? I'm fine.

That question is how you start the conversation. No, we broke up once and talked for like a year. But they worked out. All right, here we go. Yikes. Let's not dig into that. I broke up with a person once who gave my number to all of their friends, my cell phone number,

and they were calling me at all hours of the night and leaving long messages. What? And I went to my, I was on, I got my phone number changed by telling my parents I needed to change my phone number without getting any context. Damn. Whoa.

Were they mad at you? Were they like trying to get you to take her back? They were mad. Uh-oh. How? Yeah, well, you know, that's what happens. That's Indiana and the summertime. Adilisers are so big.

Like, wow. We got to have this person on the show. Are we ready? My dad. They had a date with fate. We asked you to change his phone number. What did you do? Wait, you're white.

First one, they had a date with fate. Who did? They had a date with fate. Final destination. No. They had a date with fate. They had a date with fate. A date with Nope. I'm gonna move through these quick. A date with fate.

Oh, meet your black. Nope. Oh, but that's a good one. Kasa Blanca. Are you ready? Wait, the tagline for another movie is Kasa Blanca. Right, here's another tagline. Gotcha.

What does it take to find a lost love? A, money, B, luck, C, smart, D, destiny. This is a tagline? That's a question. Yeah, so that's a multiple choice question. Think of what what movie has questions like that in it. Oh question heart. That Jeff Bridges. What does it take to find a long lost love? A. Money. B. Lock. C. Smart. D. Destiny. Four Christmas. Who is for questions for questions some dog milling Air this spring clear your mind oh

Tunnel sunshine. Yeah, you got it eternal sunshine a nervous romance Anything starring Hugh Grant no There is a granger management with Annie all Nothing on earth could come between them Nothing on earth. Oh deep impact. No, this is This is about space, but it's not Damn gravity. I was gonna say it's earth could come between them

Twilight Titanic fuck That's the that's the tackling for Titanic. All right, let's stay hold on stop. We got a stop shop We're gonna. We're gonna workshop a better tagline for Titanic I don't know I don't Titanic. I don't, I don't, oh no! Okay, that's okay. I don't synced, so. My UV love, the triv- I don't sync, so.

I think the tagline should be, I have some follow up questions about the magicians, musicians who are playing. I'm the king of the love. Inzane in the membrane. That's good. I need to pour this. It's so loud. It's so uh, it's in crash. I think wouldn't it have been ridiculous if magicians were doing magic as it went down? One of the most tragic parts about the titanic going down was how many magicians were lost

All right, here's the next one before Sam was murdered. He told Molly. He loved her love and protect her forever the unsingable Oh, oh, this is ghost. Mm-hmm. She walked up the street into his life and don't his heart. Yeah Everybody loved him everybody disappeared. TPC. Yep. Everybody loved him. Everybody just appeared. It's got to be a magic movie. It's got to be a magic movie about a serial killer. Jerry McGuire. Oh. Yeah. It's about a serial killer.

Now you see everybody loves it. Everybody loves it. When you're 16, anything can happen. Suixix. 16 candles. You got it. First dance. First love.

The time of your life. Save the first dance. Turn your dancing. There you go. Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the mornings? I'm sorry, my life. No, I found out this one is no. When Harry met Sally.

JPC and I both found that one. Yeah, we both found that out the hard way. Did you ever, were you ever friends? Well, you were. We were one of this, I say. What's that? Were you ever best friends or friends with someone before you started dating?

Was I ever best friends or friends with someone before we started dating? No. I've never dated a friend. No. Oh, it's strange. It's strange. It's nice, but it's strange.

Let's keep going. Oh, nice, but strange. Oh, is that a tagline? Yeah, it's nice but strange. A doctor's strange. She's got everything going for her. He's going for her with everything he's got. Jesus.

It's her. It's her. I'm the town of Locking he's got. Jesus, jaws. He's a terrible, terrible, terrible fucking terror by. X-Men. Wait, she's got everything going for her. He's going for her with everything he's got. Oh, King Rosh. In your eyes, the light. Aaron, shut up, we're trying to guess.

Aaron, Aaron, please say anything. Yeah. Close the window. Some, we're trying to guess here. Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the only person you can't be without. Dracula dead loving it. You can do anything. You can do anything.

Pride and prejudice. Can the most famous film star in the world fall for just an ordinary guy? Not in hell. You got it. That's one of my favorites. Never seen it. Coming soon actually.

GPC tonight. Coming soon? No. That's good. Coming favorites never seen it coming soon actually GPC tonight coming soon. No, that's coming soon comment actually. I love actually. Yeah, you got it Love is a force of nature Star Wars It's a pro-pickman What if someone you never met stop on that one? There's got to be love is a force of nature There's got to be a better one. What about cowboys? Can't we say something about cowboys?

Cowboys. Like, Cowboys would be boys. Cowboys would be cowboys. Get on your horse, but don't wear a saddle. Right, I like that. That's not great. I think it is.

Where was I? Where did some? Saddle up and die. Because doesn't shake you on a whole diet. Uh huh. I don't know how to quit you, right? That's the big, that's the iconic line for the movie. there's a Jake's you all dying. Uh-huh. Uh, I don't know how to quit you right that's the big That's the I kind of glide for the movie. That's a good line. Are you ready? Yeah What if someone you never met someone you never saw someone you never knew was the only someone for you and

Memento no No, no, Memento and this is not Glass or unbreakable. Nope. Interesting. Read it one more time. What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you.

Catfish. Sleep is in Seattle. Fuck. Oh, that's true. That's the, that's the, wait, how does sleep is in Seattle go? It's Tom Hanks in Meg Ryan. It's Kelsey Grammer. She hears him on the radio and then goes and like, I think the only way to get that is to get that. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that. I think it's a really good idea to get that idea.

I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea.

So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. So, I think it's a really good idea to get that idea. Scaling the clips of insanity, battling, rotors, and you know. At odds in life and love online. You've got me. There you go. Damn it. Can one. Just said that one. Can one set a lifetime happen twice?

Princess Diaries 2. Oh my God, that isn't funny. Can one set a lifetime happen twice? A glove? Filled the dreams. Nope. Serendidity. Hahaha. Behind Ever Great Love Story is a great story.

Behind Ever Great Love Story is a great story. Oh, a great story to Ever Great Love Story. This one's so vague. Maybe. It's a little bit stupid. A notebook. The notebook. No laws, no limits.

One rule never fall in love. Oh, that. That is how the music I did this. Yeah, it's a bike love. Rule number one of in love. Oh, that is how Liza Guy did this. Yeah, it's bike love. Rule number one of bike club. Don't fall in love. Don't fall in love. Rule number two of bike club.

Never fall in love. How Liza Guy did this? No, it's Mulan Rouge. Five. What was the tagline? No laws, no limits. One rule never fall in love. There's got, let's workshop another tagline.

The greatest thing we all ever know is just to love and be loved and return. There's not a line for that. Yeah, it all caps. It all caps. It's what he, like I, falls from the ceiling at the end. When he's about to leave and he goes, thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession

with love and he throws money at her. Oh, yeah. The guy falls from the ceiling and says that. Has no one seen my own Rouge? To lose a trick? Yeah. I've not seen it. I've not seen it like 20 times.

It is a fever dream. It used to be Sadea's favorite movie. So I would have to watch it if I wanted to sit in the living room. That's the worst thing about growing up with siblings is like, if you wanted to be in the living room with an older sibling, you have to watch what they would watch. So for me, it was like Ann and Green Gables,

who won Rouge, all that junk. Oh my God, wait, junk? Ann and Green Gables is not junk. For us, it was like if you were playing video games that everyone could play together, it was fun because then you were all playing video games, but if someone else wanted to play a one player video game, they had like a time limit,

but then you had to like watch them play it so then you would know all the things that happened in the video game. So you could either not watch the video game and go sit in your fucking room, like, study your books, like an asshole, or you could get all the spoilers. That's why I hate spoilers. Oh. And why I hate books. My sister.

Why I hate my room? Wow, so lovely in life. I hate my life. Why? My sister Molly watched so much Will and Grace for like four years, Hey, my room. Wow, so lovely in life. Hey, so, wow. My sister Molly watched so much Will and Grace for like four years now. I feel like sometimes I think in Debra Messing's voice. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Like the cadence of her voice and how I speak, I think, because I watched Billion out. What's the cadence of her voice? I feel like, well, now I'm on the spot and I can't do it. Give me 10 minutes and then I'll do my Debra Mess Okay. Okay. And GPC, you think in Daniel Stern's voice? I think in Niles for Frazier's voice for a completely different reasons. Oh, well, that's because he vets I do. Oh, damn. He took your virginity. And Niles to go before I did. Didn't take it was freely granted.

David Hyde Pierce, if you ever want to fuck me again, you know exactly where I am. The character. Yes, yes. Oh, that delighted me. All right, I'm gonna give you a line from a movie and you're gonna tell me the movie. Okay. And then we're gonna go back to Riddle's angry listeners.

You ready? Yes. Nice boys don't kiss like that. Oh, yes, they fucking do. I'm trash movie. That's a really chaser. Nice way. Brocks it to you. Oh, yes, they fucking do on trash movie. That's a video chase a nice Well, I still kiss you. Oh, yes, they fucking do aliens nice boys don't kiss like that. Oh, yes, they fucking do something with care nightly No

I suppose don't kiss like that is one of my favorite moments in any rom Nice boys don't kiss like that Okay, can you tell us who the boy is in question? Colin Firth is this love actually? No. Uh, Bridget Jones Diabria. Diabria.

Welcome to Bridget Jones Diabria. Are you ready for the next one? My name is Kano. This is Bridget Jones Diabria. Yes. Um, when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Oh, fuck, I feel like I know this one. Just Kate. I don't know. I'd say this for sure. When you realize you

want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Jeremy Cwaggy. No. Oh man. I don't know. And then this is hit as is playing this song is playing. I hate you blank. I hate you so much or something like that Katie Langzane How do those guys did this no it's I'd say one of the most iconic We already made yet you got it. What is it when Harry met smelly when Harry met smell me All have the conversation which That's my favorite line of that movie. Don't you famously have a sandwich that makes people come? With the lady of the die. Wait, brother. I'll have this sandwich that makes people come.

Let's please get a hairie, when Harry and Sally move me. Let's get a hairy, Met Sally movie poster that just says, I'll have the come sandwich. Oh, man. Oh, brother, OK. Why would you want to marry me for any, what, sorry. Oh, brother. Okay. Why would you want to marry me for any, but, sorry. Remember the Titans. This is a mouse. Favil goes west. Why would you want to marry me for anyhow?

So I can kiss you anytime I want. Is there something that Nichol's cage says? So I can kiss you anytime I want. Matthew McCodd. Somebody who doesn't understand how kissing works. Is it McCottie, he's saying it? No. It's the characters went there kids and then they grow up. Force come.

No. I would do what I'm gonna marry me anyway. Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far, far away from here. I don't think either of you have seen this movie. I have to have seen this movie. Captain Ron. Sweet home Alabama.

Mm-hmm. What's the one where she seen this movie. Captain Ron. Sweet home Alabama. What's the one where she lives on a Walmart? What? Sweet home Walmart. Sweet home Walmart. Sweet Walmart, Alabama. That's what's Reese Witherspoon and who's the other guy either? I don't, I don't remember the guy. So Shane Black or something.

That's what it's Patrick Demsie. Director Shane Black. Director of Leigh the Web in Shane Black took a turn in the acting. Speaking of taking turn, we should probably take a little breaky poo. Gross. Wait, you gonna take a breaky poo? Yeah, a little breaky poo. Okay, let's break poo.

It's not funny. Okay, bye. Okay, bye. Rock, cheek, paper, hate, break, or break, or break, no. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle.

And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gages with your audience. And so anything for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch.

You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. I love you. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace.

Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, Rincens. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.PC, hey JPC. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly is a middle of the woods.

No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends

to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E.

R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of the D. We say, help you get home. Bye, baby. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh?

Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, uh, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Uh, Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you.

And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over 3 million, oh, clink, clink, clink, over 3 million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to 720 dollars a year. We love rock Clank, clank, clank, no, clank, clank, stop throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today

and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. I like that. I like that., click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, going to ask this at the beginning, but I was,

that couldn't be fucking bothered, I guess. What was everyone's first kiss experience like? Ooh, that's a good question. I was dating this guy named Aaron, A-A-R-O-N. Whoa. I know. And I was in eighth grade, grade eighth grade seventh grade and I think we even AIMing and he was like Amen And I was like we like had been talking about kissing for a while and we had a like a dance We are going to what was the discut what were the talks about kissing like hey like do you do you want to do kissing? You want to kiss me? And then I hold on wait, but was there more than Do you want to kiss me? And then I... Hold on, wait, but was there more than do you want to kiss me?

I think we just like discussed it. We were like, we'll probably kiss soon, but then we were at this dance and I went, I don't believe you like me. So you're gonna have to find a way to prove it. So I got them all stressed out for two hours at this dance and then the lights turned on to go and he panicked and he like kissed me and missed

and kissed me on the cheek and on the steps in front of everyone, I went, you missed! No! That was a bully! And then the next day he met up with me and we went for a walk and he kissed me. For like a feral kiss. Like a feral kiss? A feral kiss? So you wore like a big dot hat.

Big hat. And my sister saw her recently and was like, how do I know you? No, I know you from something. You're sister bullied me? You don't know me from anything. My first, like, I mean, I've like pecked like a bird. When I was a peck of bird. Peck the bird.

Peck the dog. Peck the bird. Peck a peck of peppers. My first like make out kiss was Debra DeVries and we were watching the movie Anna Connor. And Kate, youG will be there. We'll be Panna Conda, right? We can't wear a more as we move in to Kanna.

And it was the similar thing. It was the similar thing of like as the movie ended and like credits came up and the lights came up, that's when I was like, the hour we're gonna kiss. And so we were like making out in the movie theaters as people were filing out of Anna Fondle. It was not a great look. in the movie theaters as people are filing out of it. It was not a great look.

First guest for me was the summer after eighth grade. After the movie? So it's like, so this past summer, yeah. And it was a doll that looking bobert of. I did so well. I had to give him a little thank you. It was in my dining room when the lights were,

my dining room. Lights were off it was with Rachel Peacock and. If you didn't, if you haven't kissed them, they don't make up names. A very brief kiss and then people were like, hey, where are those two? And then I was like, oh, they're coming. And that was the end of that.

But I do also want to share that when I was in high school, I got cast in this play with this girl named Amanda who had a huge... It was this like rookie show. It was called Varnie the Vampire. So I don't know if you know the role. We'll play Varnie the Vampire. Oh.

But it was the rookie show. Can we get one of Varnie's lines? This play sucks. Like it was just like me in a vampire voice, like being a vampire is a comedy. But I was a sophomore and the rookie play was for people who hadn't been cast anything yet. You were eligible, so I got the lead in it.

And then Amanda was in this. She was like, I super cute and I had to crush on her. And she was the romantic opposite to me. And there was a scene where I was supposed to bite her on the neck, but instead I was like, you're dipping her down a bite on the neck, but instead I was like, you're dipping her down to bite her on the neck, but instead it was a kiss. And we like, they were like, all right, let's run that scene.

And I was like, that was very nervous and awkward. And they were like, yeah, like obviously, it's like, there's like a kiss. So like, YouTube just go practice. The guy who was directing it was Ben, he was like a friend of mine. And I think he was like trying to set me up. But he was like, just go practice this kiss.

And so me and Amanda went into the dark theater to practice this kiss. And I was like a friend of mine and I think he was like trying to set me up but he was like, just go practice this kiss. And so me and Amanda went into the dark theater to practice this kiss and I was like, we were talking and she's like, yeah, let's just do like a kiss. I was like, okay. And so I dipped her down, but the theater is completely dark. So I lost her face in the darkness. And now I'm like, she's dipped and I'm like panicking

because I'm like, I don't know where she is. I'm gonna take my best guess. So I go down to kiss and then I just hear her laughing because I have, I've gotten nowhere near her mouth. I'm like on like her like net chin or neck. And she just starts laughing. So I drop her. No.

No. Oh, this is not a good one. Oh boy. No, it was it was it was terribly embarrassing. But for whatever reason, like she turned to that kiss and just like a straight-up make-out kiss Which was very inappropriate Principal saw that show and he was like this is this is terrible terrible and like her boyfriend was like front row center

For the two nights that we did the show of course she had a boyfriend. She was gorgeous And he never said anything to me about it, so because Because he wasn't threatened by you? See the quarterback? Yeah, I could only assume. I was threatened by you. My favorite part of that story was the line I lost her face in the darkness. I lost it. That sounds like a text.

I used boomers off. A diabetes poem? So I heard diabetes poem. I know that's how it you said. We'll go. You know those famous diabetes bones? Please. Please.

We'll open Bradley's diabetes. There's a 10-year point in history in the group poetry. Diabetes. When your blood sugar gets low, you gotta go a little slow. Your diabetes. Diabetes. How would you either propose to someone? How would you like to propose to someone?

Or how would you like to be proposed to? That's a great question. Stage A murder. Actually commit a murder. A ring perched on top of a shark. Did anyone have to do it? Did it have like a some sort of fantasy proposal thing? I don't think I'd think I would have I think a meltdown if it was public. Like, if it was a lot of people. Like an unabrights obstacle? Yeah, I would freak out. Although, that would be kind of cool. Freak out because you're embarrassed or freak out?

Yeah, I think I'd be embarrassed and like, I just, that kind of attitude would make me anxious. I have friends that are now married. Alex Nichols and Emily Williams, but they met in level one class at IO. And when the build, the old IO was closing down, he thought up and excused to like, well, we have to go to the classroom,

and I have to pick up something I left my bag there, and they went to the classroom where they first met and then he proposed in that classroom. I thought that was pretty cool. I like the idea of proposing to someone in a special place, but not the idea of proposing in public. Yeah. But there was a class in there at the time,

they were doing zips-ups-op and stuff. I mean. That's amazing. I may have said this told the story before but I once was when I first mentioned Chicago was in like a flat top grill. If you remember those, I think they might have all closed. But I zerothed my mom and my sister. But not because of the story, right? No, because of the story. So it's like me and my mom, my sister, maybe somebody else, but we were in a flat top grill. It was very busy. And at some point, this guy, it's one, it's like, all your protein and veggies and bowls are sticks, and then they cook it for you and bring it out to you.

So it's almost like, it's like kind of pan Asian cuisine, almost, but it's very Korean barbecue adjacent. Exactly, yep, or Mongolian barbecue. Yeah, so it's like 100 people in this place, it's packed. And at some point, this guy just gets up and goes to the middle of the restaurant and just shouts over everyone, can I have your attention please?

And all of our bodies are starting to, our heckles are being raised because we thought he was gonna pull out a gun. But he goes, may I have your attention please? Five years ago, I met a woman here on our first date and Everyone like immediately like in one motion all the heads in the room turned to where he's pointing And it's this poor woman in a booth who's like covering her face and like Slightly shaking her head and with her eyes being like don't please do not

Propose to me in a flat-top grill. So I feel like a special place is good, but also like, make sure. Make sure it's not something you'd like to do. Here's a thing about a proposal. It's for your partner as well, and you should probably have some sort of discussion about like, hey, do you like crowds? Do you not like crowds?

Like if I were to purchase something atop a shark, would that be something you would be terrified with? You know our friend, Willeed. Yes. Maybe two or three years ago? Do you know our friend, Willeed. Yes. Maybe two or three years ago. Do you know our friend, Willeed? Yeah, you know, Willeed. Wait, which one?

By the way, you're saying our friends. You know. I also know so many Willeed. So, Willeed, the guy we know and love, he, the week before he proposed to his now wife, he called me. Now wife? Oh, God.

He called me and was like, hey, I know that you would love something like this You want to help like set up my proposal for me. So I went down to the lake in Chicago And like I they had like this pick. It's a spot. They love to go and I put down a picnic blanket for them Picking a basket. Yeah, pick a picnic basket But they want me to like candles, but it was by the lake So I've never been more anxious in my life Just frantically Re-lighting these candles and being like

I can't do it this fire wakes that like Know if I these candles aren't on that sounds like a punishment of the gods like a sycophine like light these candles in the wind Exactly and he had his like speaker there and he's gonna play their song on his phone He was so cute. I don't remember It's really really cute. I don't remember. But it's really, really cute. I freaking out these to dip. I've never been more anxious than my life. I'm both on hand.

I'm both on your hip. Well, I dip you dip we dip. But that was my favorite proposal. When I dip you dip, we marry me. I helped someone propose in a bar in Indianapolis during comedy sports world championships. And then four years later, when they singing the song,

Hayes Soul Sister by train. It was a thing where my friend was like, hey, this guy's gonna propose he wants to get everyone in the sparrows saying, Hayes Soul Sister, I don't know that song, but we still wouldn't have done it. And then like four years later when I moved to Chicago, I was on a team with that woman,

a good improv team. And I was like, I helped your husband propose to you. That's a relief. Oh, can people tweet us their proposal stories? Yes, oh, wait helped your husband propose to you. That's amazing. Yeah. Oh, can people tweet us their proposal stories? Yes. Oh, wait, no. They can't.

Twitter has rules because it's love. Oh, no. I would love to be a little bit slow. Twitter's only for hate. Twitter's only for hate. So if you, okay, so we can't have people tweet us their proposal stories, but we can't. We can't have people tweet us. Divorce stories.

So just remove the word. Star Wars proposal. Ignore them. I mean us divorce stories, so just remove the word proposal. In order to ignore them, tweet me your proposals. What should be the hashtag? Proposal brag. Hashtag, so yes to the riddle. Yes to the riddle. Are you ready?

Yes. This is another tag we're almost done. Or another line from a movie, and you're gonna tell me the movie, are you another tagline. We're almost done or no another line from a movie Um, and you're gonna tell me the movie. Are you okay? Yes. You're late. You're stunning. You're forgiven You're late. You're stunning. You're forgiven And see no man. See no man. Yeah, he's late because he's a caveman pretty woman. Fuck. Hmm. If you're a bird, I'm a bird Force come. Oh wait, same a bird notebook. Yep. Yes, I'm a bird. That's what she said And then you shot up we saw we saw the notebook and creative writing class in high school and use like same a bird And we were like all bunch of like douchebag kids in that class

So we just started saying like same a bird same a bird no teacher was like if you're not gonna take this seriously We'll stop watching the baby. you're not gonna take this seriously, we'll stop watching the baby. Even I could take the notebook seriously. She also ran out of the room crying because a creed song played once and we're like, what the fuck? But it turns out I had plans for her dance funeral. Creed song? Yes. As you wish. Oh, uh, Princess Bread.

Yep. With arms, what a... You had me at hello. Oh, hello, Dolly. Mm-hmm. Jerry McQueen. Do you have a car? Um, I hate the way you talk to me the way you cut your hair I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare ten things ahead of it you yeah Never mind. I'm to finish that. I've seen that movie one million times. I love at the end of that movie

I think it's this movie they They go play quote unquote paintball But it's just them and overalls throwing sponges full of paint. Yeah, throwing like my balls I'm like, hey, fun as hell Mike. What do you think paintball? It's not that. It's certainly not that that's Spongebob I love the end of ten things I'm ahead about you the very very end what Batman's got him hanging upside down and he's like kill me And he's like I'm not gonna kill you like, I'm not going to kill you. You know what I'm telling him things I hate about you when he goes, you want to know how I got these scars.

You know what I'm telling him things I hate about you when he's jousting in that tournament and Alan Tudick's like, it's called a line. I love that movie. You can hit me all night because you're punks like a one. I know. Where are two miss to the stars? Where are two myths to the stars? Driving Miss Daisy to the Space.

Gallows to the West. Titanic. Fuck. I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly. You've got me. Yep. I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about.

My girlfriend. She said that to me a lot. I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about. I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about. I love you. Look who's talking. Oh my God. Look who's talking to moon rice kingdom. Oh, what's Anderson? I knew I'd never be able to remember what Nina wore that day, but I also know I'd never forget the way she looked. Finding Nina. Finding Nina. What does that mean? I knew I'd never be able to remember what she wore that day. Because it, but I also knew I never forget the way she looked. Like you don't remember the dress, but you know that she looked beautiful. God, Sublonco 23 dresses. No, 23 dresses. Which is the prequel to 27 dresses 26 dresses 24 It's the father of the bride

Ah, you have bewitched me body and soul be which and I love I love I love you I wish I never wish to be parted from you from this day on twilight new braking saga No, this will be the movie I masturbate to pride and prejudice. Oh boy. I don't Your little Darcy I don't I masturbate to sense of sensibility. Yeah, no snows Cool good Cool and good Regular red all and then well, yes, we have we have we can do what regular just

and then we'll do. Yes, we have, we can do what we're gonna do. Yes. This, I am reading you this riddle because I laughed out loud at the answer. Okay. Okay. Keep your expectations way lower than normal, everybody. The rich landlord wants to marry the beautiful farmer's daughter.

He tells the daughter that if she doesn't marry him, he will evict her father from the farm and they will be homeless. She begs for mercy. Slyly the landlord agrees to allow her one chance to stay. He pulls a bag from his pocket and reaches down and picks up two stones from the rocky path, then places them in the bag. Reach into the bag and pull out one stone. If you pull out the black stone, you will agree to marry me. If you pull out the white stone, you and your father can live here rent-free. The problem is that she knows that he picked up two blackstones, and no matter which one she select, she will be forced to marry him.

What can she do to avoid marrying the greedy landlord? She can... She can get stoned. She can get stoned. She can get stoned. She can use the hand that has paint in it. Grab the black rock, painted white. I see a black rock and I want it painted white. So the thing is, he says grab a stone,

but there are only black stones in there. Yeah. She could pull out his stones, his balls. Nice. Yeah. Good one. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls.

Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls.

Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick is Rick at balls. Rick at balls. Rick at balls. So what is this like it has to be a joky answer because she was made her. No, the follow the I like trying to prove he's cheating. Talk to his wife. Well, no. Okay. Can you read the. Can you read the.

Can you read the. Come sandwich. That was so funny. What was that? It was just a I'll have to Cump's hand, which, you read, I'll have what she's coming. I love that so much. Can you read the part, the, from the inputting

the stones in the bag, not the, not the, all the preamble about the fucking dad is so sad as far as, if you plug the white stone, you and your father can live here rent-free. He pulls a bag from his pocket and reaches down and picks up two stones from the rocky path, then places them in the bag. Reach into the bag and pull out one stone. If you pull out the black stone, you will agree to marry me. If you pull out the white stone, you and your father can live here rent free.

The problem is she knows that he picked up two black stones and no matter which one she selects, she will be forced to marry him. What can she do to avoid marrying the greedy landlord? Cut the bottom of the bag. Look the stones fall out Be like What's this shit bitch? These fucking sounds is all black. What's the shit bitch? God So it's a proof he's a cheater is the is the yeah, so what you do to avoid marrying. Oh, Mary her father. Oh, she marries her father

She's already married. Yep. That's the answer double jumper. You should get in that way you laugh Give us a hint give us a head give us a head They are standing on a rocky path. Oh, she's just go grab a white stone from the path. No. Damn it. Damn it, Erin. Damn it.

Throw herself down the path. No. Rocky. I think that we know. Oh, if she picks up a white stone in her hand, reaches inside the bag, then pulls that white stone out. No. But that would work.

That would work. Are we ready for an answer? Yes. They are standing on a rocky path. She reaches into the bag, pulls out one of the black stones, and then pretending to be clumsy drops it on the rocky path. Oh my, she exclaims. I dropped it.

But whichever color stone is still in the bag will tell us which color stone I dropped. Clevver girl. Clevver girl. Oh, and she's a velociractor. But whichever color stone is still in the bag will tell us which color stone I dropped. Clever girl. Clever girl. Oh, and she's a velociraptor. Yeah. So I want to see a scene. Okay. Two of you. Um, Adel, you are. That was a great riddle. This landlord who thinks that you are really about to trick someone. And JBC, you are this woman. Um, and she is taking classes at the community center in acting. So she's really taking this moment. She's really taking what? Pretending to drop the stone. Like really like she's really taking advantage of it.

I've devised a way to tell the fate should see it that we be together or be a part. Now I've put two different types of candy in this bag. If you part or were there's original, why you're my gal, we get married and live all the long day. If you pull out a Reese's, then I'll never show up at your doorstep again. Okay, I will accept your offer, but the only place that I will select a piece of candy from this bag is in the candy store with the candy floor. Otherwise, this doesn't actually fucking work. Sorry? I'm sorry? Would you mind if we had go to the candy store? The candy store is about 37 minutes from here. Why would I...walking?

Welcome to my candy store. Oh, you're confused! This is the front porch of the woman I love! Oh, sorry I hit my head real bad! This is my father, an elderly man who loves me very much, and you are his landlord, but my father also has a little candy store inside. Won't you come in? Fine, let's go to the candy store in the back room here. So the worthers that I marry you with the Reese's you married me

Wait, hold on, Ben's the rules. Okay, okay There we go. And could I just say before you make your selection? Yes, life with me would be Pretty good. I've been known to cook up a cum sandwich now and again if you catch my drift That's choking on the candy. Huh! Huh! Huh! Oh, yeah. Welcome to my candy show. Oh, Father. Oh, God, I'm old.

All right, take a hand and put it in there and pull out a piece of candy. Little does she know that I've put two worthers in here. We can hear you. Oh, huh? Okay. No pears in the bag, search to go round. No way to differentiate between the two shapes. So what are those that are Reese's?

Little that you know I've cut a hole in the bottom of the bag into my penis. Okay, see. Don't really feel anything in here. See. Don't really feel anything in here. Little that you know, my penis is very tiny. So instead of a sort of listener email

that we would normally read, what I like to do is read something that I received. This is, I went to podcon recently in Seattle, which was incredible. And during one of the panels, I met someone who was a big Heyritte Rittle fan and she gave me a sip of paper. How big? Have big speed of paper?

It's about eight and a half, I love it. Wow, that's not bad. It's a big fan. And it has her number on it. And I wanted to brag. And it has her daughter on this piece of paper, her daughter wrote down some jokes and some riddles, so I'm going to read one riddle. What's your daughter's name?

Her daughter is Avie, I believe. Avie, is that Avie? Avie. Avie. Avie. Avie, Maria. Cool. Her name is Avie, I guess, and the mother is Kathy.

And she was just so delightful. And I thought, oh, like the cartoon. Yeah, we got it. So here, first I'll read one of the riddles here. These are called Grimmer riddles, and this is written in child's handwriting. Okay. Which is nothing bad, just hard to read. What begins but has no end and is the ending of beginnings?

What begins? But has no end and is the end of beginnings. S. S. Nope. It's not a time. It's not a letter. You're getting closer.

What begins but has no end and is the end? The moon. The moon waxing in the moon. Shut up. What begins but has no end? And is the ending of all beginnings. A story. Yeah, it actually says here,

a story said in a British accent. A story. A story. Let us a book them. An adventure is a foot. Here we go. Also, she at the bottom of the page drew Riddy Kitty. I mean, taking a shit and it says a rainbow poop.

Oh! But it's drawn in just pencil so there's no color. This is outstanding. Uh, what begins with Hasnot End? And is the ending of all beginnings. Think about... Death. Yep, that's what it is is Oh my god, very good one

And then I'll be your a bee also has on the other side of the sheet of paper Wow little kid do it a little about death. Oh, it said Grimmer. I mean she she prepared us on the other side It says these are kittles or maybe not no, that's no, I'm reading that wrong. These are jokes So who's I I have to assume these are originals. So here's my favorite of the three jokes she wrote down. Two people were going to Disneyland. There was a sign and it said Disneyland left. So they went home and cried into their pillows. Oh, say that again. This is my new favorite joke. Two people were going to Disneyland. There was a sign and it said Disneyland left.

So they went home and cried into their pillows. That's such a specific way. This is going to be my first set to cry. My first set to you is going to be a billboard that says Disneyland left. I'm going to say that. Oh, man, that's wonderful. Thank you, Kathy and Avi or

Avi Avi she told me how to say her name and I forgot Well, I can't you do Also at pod con I met so many hey riddle little fans. There was a lot of people What are the nips? Did anyone mention me specifically? Kathy Avi several people mentioned you specifically like what? Somebody gave me a pen and they said, here's a pen for Aaron to drink. I wish you would drink a pen.

And can I just say that people around me were wildly confused. Of course. Yeah, I met a lot of fans. I met a lot of people who were wearing our merch. And on Magic Tavern, we had Demi Lovato on as our guest. Demi at a J on as our guest. Demi at a Juybe from Punch Up the Jam, which is an awesome show.

And he saw my shirt and was like, what is that? I keep seeing that shirt everywhere. And I'm like, it's a cool thing. It's a cool thing. It's a cool thing. So I think we should do a con sometime. Okay.

Not a convention. I think we should probably be. We should do a con job. I will ruin. We will ruin a fire festival. I will blow it completely. I will not help. I'll panic. Who do we want to give our love to? You just want to give your love to listeners the general listeners. I would love to give my love to two of my favorite new Patreon subscribers you can subscribe to the Patreon at patreon.com slash Hey Rital Rital. The two that I wanna give my loves to you, I kind of have to pull them up because.

Let me pull this up, mom and dad. Let's see. I wanna give love to Patreon subscriber by the name of Justin McElroy. Justin. It was very kind to subscribe to our Patreon. So if you're listening Justin, thank you so much. I would love to give my love to two of my favorite Patreon subscribers, Mary Beth Keefe

and Vicki Stewart. Those are both of our moms. My mom signed up and then went, I can't figure out how to listen to the episode. And I called my sister and I was like, can you help her? And she's like, I can't figure out how to listen to the episode. And I called my sister and I was like, can you help her? And she's like, I don't know. So, Mom hasn't heard anything. I sent my mom the RSS link to listen to the episodes

and I gave her specific instructions. I was like, all right, so this is like an RSS link. You have to put it in your podcast app and then you'll be able to download the things. And she's like, the link won't work. And I'm like, the link is not the type of link that you think, but she got it working. And she is a big fan of our episodes.

If you love someone for Valentine's Day, what better gift than to subscribe to our Patreon? Then to get your mom a subscription to our Patreon. I'll get the subscription. I'll get the subscription. I'll get the subscription. I'll get the subscription. I'll get the subscription.

Pay a little bit of marriage. I'll put jokes. Anything to plug out of? I would like to plug love. Get out there. Yeah, fine love. Plug your finger in it. Fine, you don't need it.

You don't need it. You're all good. Anything real to plug out all? Like fucking money or like your job or like jokes that you tell. Disneyland left. Please, whoever, look to your left, look to your right. Somebody out of the three of you doesn't know the Disneyland left joke.

So please tell it to both those people immediately. Yes. And we have to do something with Disneyland left. That has to be, I don't know if we'll get sued by having a Disneyland just the name. No, no, no, no, no, we probably won't. We're off there right now. They're great.

But we need to do something with that. You can follow me Twitter at GP SoFly. You can follow me Twitter. You can follow me Twitter. Twitter, if you're listening, but we need to do something with that. You can follow me Twitter at GP so fly. You can follow me Twitter. You can follow me Twitter. Twitter if you're listening, follow me. And everything goes, all right, I'll be the one to take you tonight. You can follow me on Instagram at Shark Barkman.

And what's up with you? What is up with me? You can follow me Aaron Keith 10 on Instagram. I will talk about my shows there. And you can see pictures of my niece who's getting cuter every day. Yes, of my knees who's getting cuter every day My knees they're getting cuter cuter every day I love your knee photos

Oh, and then ernie I don't know the specific type of love I have for you I laughed at that everything's okay What if you what would the expectation be if you just started posting about your pictures of only your knees? Like you know that's for free. I need the in pants. That's for freaks.

For Valentine's Day, would you, can we, for Valentine's Day on Instagram, the Hey Ritter Roll official account? Can we post it for you? Yeah, you're welcome, you're perched. You're welcome, fucking perverts. Yeah, do yourself a favor? Go Google JPC feet. JPC feet age earlier we talked about JPC helping somebody propose in a bar set to a train song. Your favorite

train song, of course, is drops of Jupiter. Wow. Wow. Bye forever. Creates by Apple. Sorry. And John Patrick Collins. P.A.S. N.E.D. headed in. How are you, Eric, in the middle of the day? Vocal created by M.O.B. Cargamus and M.O.N. De Moritz.

Don't fight too big or hate risk or break your mind. Hit the like button before, hit the like button.