Hey Riddle Riddle - #301: I Drink Your Milksnake

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

We are allowed to talk about nothing for the first 15 minutes of the podcast. It's actually a legally protected right. Don't believe us? Look up the ninth amendment. Oh, that doesn't apply? prove it! We will see you at the Supreme Court! Oh, and we've got a scavenger punching above their weight, a romantic getaway that's anything but, a small business owner who makes quite the boner, two warriors fighting a battle of wits, a moooooovie audition, and little nip of something nasty. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. It's a little more to take Friday. One, two, three, four, eight, we're doing it. One, two, three, four, eight, we're doing it. One, two, three, four, eight, we're doing it. One, two, three, four, eight, we're doing it. One, two, three, four, eight, we're doing it. All right, all right, everybody. We're doing it, we're doing it. Phone's in the middle of the table. Phone's in the middle of the table.

Okay. Okay. Erin, put your phone, no. No last minute checking your socials. Phone's in the middle of the table. Okay. Okay. Erin, put your phone, no, no last minute checking your socials. Phone's in the middle everybody. I wanna check the weather, what if it rains? Phone's in the middle. Okay, so we all know how this works. The first person who touches their phone

has to pay for the whole dinner for everybody at dinner. Oh, with cell phone roulette. Yeah, it's cell phone roulette. Now I do have to say there was a hurricane on the East Coast what it It's rough. Oh, yeah, and there was a tornado And I want to say and I always get this wrong. What is it Gurney, Illinois? Oh

Kissimmee St. Yeah, it's Kissimmee St. Yeah, Gurney. Where Six Flags is. It's where Six Flags was. Was? Well, we just don't know. We just don't know. Wait.

Oh, waiter? Are you making this up? I'll have the 40 steaks, please. Oh, it's just individual steaks at this restaurant? Well, I guess just give me 40 orders of the individual steak. JPC's back eating meat? Just to screw one of us financially? And waiter can you check on my car full of hungry dogs? Oh they're still very hungry? And the winners are down so it's okay before we get a bunch of emails?

Patil I'm starting to think he planned this dinner just to feed his hungry dogs for free. Yeah, this is really weird. So the rules were whoever touches their phone first. Yeah, that's the rule. And it's actually not a plan. It's just a nice normal dinner. Unlike when you guys threw me that intervention for being addicted to pornography, which was-

That was an intervention, not a dinner. It was, yeah, well why was I eating? I don't know. You ordered your Door Dash Burger King to your intervention for porn like 40 minutes in. Oh, did I, Erin? Did I? Show me the Door Dash.

Show me the Door Dash receipts. Don't do it, Erin, don't do it, don't do it. Don't touch your phone, touch your phone, touch your phone, touch your phone. Well, JPC, I just heard that there's an avalanche in Indianapolis. My precious Indianapolis? No, wait, JPC, be strong, you fool.

And wait, Erin, did you say atalanche? I better take a look. Oh, no, Adel. Close call, close call. Wow, close call. Wow, who's it gonna be? We all have our own motivations for wanting to touch our phones.

I just heard that Mariah sent you a cute picture of your baby, GPC. Bet your baby looks really cute. I do forget what my baby looks like. This is the least tempted GPC's been so far. Oh no, try to remember, try to remember. Adel, I heard that there's a sale on plaid shirts at the Chicago Improv Plaid store.

Joke's on you, Aaron, I have a bot set up to buy any plaid that's on the internet. And Aaron, I heard the jerk store call that they're running out of you. What are we doing? Also, Addle, if you can afford to do that, you can afford to pay for dinner. No, no, I already gave the waiter my credit card. I just wanted to play the game. I just wanted to play the game. Wait, JPC's on his iPad.

We didn't say anything about iPads. He's an iPad kid. He can't sit at a dinner without his iPad. It's where all my porn is. Wait, you're watching Coco melon Well, well JPC I That's a fun fact about the show. Can we tell people the whole time? We record JPC's on his iPad watching YouTube videos about Minecraft The whole time we record because he's bored. Otherwise, I don't know how these kids can get so good at building the Minecraft I'm always recording a podcast in my mind sir shit These kids they spend 10 12 hours a day or at building the Minecraft. I'm always recording a podcast and my minds are shit. These kids, they spend 10, 12 hours a day

are doing all of their Minecrafts. I heard that in Minecraft, you can find a library with every book ever written. Is that true? That's the Library of Alexandria or whatever. What's the name of that library that we burned down? Roblox. Roblox. Roblox.

Roblox is that library we burned down. Anyways, welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, that's JPC. He's Chaos, that's Addle, he's nice. And I'm Erin. What's Erin? The one who's trying her best. Is that why you're wearing a scarf today and dark sunglasses?

Yes, it's not because I'm hungover. Let's describe for the audience. Erin is wearing a scarf today and dark sunglasses? Yes, it's not because I'm hungover. Let's describe for the audience. Erin is wearing a head scarf, dark sunglasses. She's sitting in a, I wanna say a 57 drop top convertible, cherry red with the white inlay, white wall tires. Oh no, the wind took my scarf away. She's got one of those long cigarette holders, but it doesn't appear that she's got a cigarette for it

It's a hot Cheeto that I put in there. That's my secret. She's speeding down PNH1. All Cheetos are hot when you light the end of it. She's sitting next to, uh, forget this guy's name, Joe Montaigne, the hot guy from Magic Mike. That's Joe Montaigne, right? Joe Montaigne is... He's the big boi from True Mike, that's Joe Montaigne, right? Joe Montaigne is, he's the big one from True Blood, right? Right?

Joe Maglianello, Joe? Joe Magne- Joe Magliet- Maglietinglio. Aaron, you're sitting next to him. Aaron, ask him his name. No. Aaron, just tap, just- Aaron, just ask his name.

Aaron, work it organically into the conversation. Hi. I heard just ask his name. Erin, work it organically into the conversation. I heard you're recently divorced. Yes, me and Sophia are just divorced last year. Anyways. Joe, Joe, ask her her name. Heard you like D&D. Joe, just ask her her name. Do you?

Work it into the conversation, Joe. Figure out what her name is. Your name is what? My name is your your name is what my name is Aaron um you play D&D with the guys who did Game of Thrones right that's right can you ask them what the fuck happened there at the end yes I will let me turn to the table of guys this is a week later hey hey Joe if it isn't the guys from Game of Thrones so Hey... um... Hey, Joe! Hey! Joey M. If it isn't...

The guys from Game of Thrones. So what were we thinking? The guys stopped writing books. Wow. What did we have to do it ourselves? It was so hard! Two weeks later, sitting in Erin's bed, laying next to her. Sitting and laying. Hey, hey babe.

Yeah? I talked to the Game of Thrones guys. It's because George R. R. Martin stopped writing the books. Sitting and laying. Hey, hey babe. Yeah? I talked to the Game of Thrones guys. It's because George R. R. Martin stopped writing the books. Are you sure it's not just because they wanted to go work on Star Wars? Listen, it could be. The last two weeks is the best two weeks of my life.

Please, I have a ring. I have a ring, Arad, please. I liked the bam, I liked Alexander Sk scars guard on true blood better than you. What about my gas station dance and magic Mike XL? I'll be right back. I'm just gonna grab us some snacks. Okay, this is actually a riddle podcast if you can believe it. Idiots. If you can believe it, idiots.

You know what I got nostalgic for yesterday? Neckowafers? Oh my God, neckowafers! No, well now that. The Ford Taurus? No. Oh my God, yes, that as well. Most ubiquitous cars. Well, I was looking at the Hey Riddle Riddle Instagram because I was posting some Penguin

baseball stuff and I decided to scroll through and look through our Instagram. And it made me so nostalgic for the days where we used to record in person. And then at the end of the night, do those Patreon promo videos that were always so punchy and insane. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I forgot all about this. I know, wasn't that so fun? Wasn't that so nice? That was very fun. I was doing something very similar where I was going through our press photos to send out for something else. And I was like, I don't think we have a photo

of the three of us together since 2021. It's been like three years. There's a lot of photos. I was like, oh, I can use these as press photos. And I'm like, wow, I have long hair Well, this is a great opportunity we can ask our listeners Next time we're all together in person. Maybe we will get our photos professionally taken. What theming should we go with? Should we all wear suits and top hats with monocles?

Should it be an under the sea theme? What Mike XXL yes, tell us what sort of vibe or theming we should do for the photo. We'll pick our favorites and then we'll have you vote. Speaking of nostalgia, you know what I really, really wish still existed? Do you remember how you could go to like a Sears or a Walmart and they would just have a photo studio there? They still have those. Sears Family Photo. They still, let's go there. JCPenney has one, I think.

Okay. Yeah, but you'd have to find a JC Penny or a Sears. I mean, come on, where are we gonna find one of these? Underground. In this modern age. They've all gone underground. They've all gone underground. We go to a Sears family photo, we dress up as like 1960s kitschy cowboys. Bolo ties.

I just want the person to pull down one of those like big background things that they had on those big, because that has to be digital now, right? There's no way that they're, there's no way that they have the big pull down backgrounds anymore. You'd be surprised what JCPenney and Sears still does.

Yeah, it's just a fucking tumbleweeds pushing their way through the store and like one old man being like, welcome to JCPenney you can never leave. It's like Hotel California. Yeah exactly just like Hotel California there's an old guy there. I don't think I've been into a brick and mortar JCPenney in a long time. A long time.

I was just there. Wow Erin why? Erin why? I can tell you. Great. I was just there. Wow, Erin, why? Erin, why? I can tell you. And it's fun. It has something to do with our show. Oh. Arnie Parrott, when he was staying with me, needed a belt.

And we had just eaten at Din Tai Fung. And then we walked into the mall in Glendale. And we bought him a belt at JCPenney. Did he need a belt? Because at dinner at Din Tai Fung, his belt comically stretched out and blew up because the meal was so good. And then the waiter shook his head knowingly and said,

points to a sign that says no belt refunds or something like that. I'm not trying to blow up his spot, but. I bet he was wearing Renfair pantaloons and he's like, oh no Yeah, get a metal He's fun he's fun we picked a fun person to have be around Did you get a fun belt? I bet a juicy pennyenney, it was just like a boring ass like, oh, business Monday through Friday belt. He got a business belt.

Yeah. He's changed. I went to a... He's a business boy now. I went to a boot barn the last time I was in New Mexico. And they had, they had cool ass big buck belt buckle, you know, flamboyant, very atrocious looking belts. And I was like, man, I both wanted to get one and knew that like the pain that that would cause me as it digs into my stomach would be like not worth,

not worth ever wearing a belt like that. There's so many stores in like, especially Fort Worth and Dallas that are like, unless you're a college basketball coach, you don't wear any of these shirts or shoes or belt buckles. Like it's insane. Some of this stuff. And it's all wildly expensive.

Dallas is very college basketball coach-coded. Right? Yeah. It's such a whole city of college basketball coaches. And this is The Riddle Podcast. Oh, yes. Our Riddle Podcast. We must make.

Tally-ho! Funky with! Hey, okay. Well, look. that's the show. We all know about what the show is. We introduce ourselves, we say that it's a riddle podcast, 15 minutes goes by, and we start the show. You know this!

You know the drill. You've been here for 300 plus episodes, you know what fucking happens on the show. I'm up a puzzle. I'm up a puzzle. Stroke, he's having a stroke, Erin. Do you have any tiny Advil? Um, let's see The computer I got neck away first You know yesterday I

Was getting my hair cut and died by my hairdresser sort of why I go to her you died I died getting your head. I died. I met I You died, Erin? I died for 10 minutes. Just getting your haircut and I died? I met God, she's pissed. That's why she's so pale. We were talking about podcasts, and she clearly hasn't checked out any of my podcasts. Clearly. And she went, you know what drives me insane about podcasts is when they just meander in chat for like 15 to 20 minutes up top,

as if anyone cares. And I was like, yeah, that sucks. And she's like, I can't keep putting your hair, the tears are ruining your hair. This sounds like someone, a hairdresser, who has a profession where she's regularly around a lot of people. 90% of the people that listen to podcasts,

I'm the first voice they've heard today, okay? I have, or the last voice they hear at night. I have to tell someone good morning and good night every day and it makes their day. So people love hearing about the time that I went to a boob bar and said it. I love hearing about it. Okay, fine.

Okay, for Erin's hairdresser who doesn't even fucking listen anyway, here's some goddamn riddles. These are from Joshua from the year 2018 how are we still in 2018 in your timeline I I honestly thought about being like guys we are so close to being done with 2018 because we are in November of 2018 but we're not even that close there's still there's still a ton more and I only do my old men puzzles once every three episodes so... Oh fuck it, fuck it, we got a lot more, what do you want?

That's good news. Yeah, it's great news. And to the people that comment, JPC, you've had all these on the show before. I don't care, I don't even like the show. I'm like Aaron's hairdresser, I don't listen to this shit. Alright, here they go. These are from Joshua. These are some word play riddles, okay?

These are kind of like, I don't know pun. Jokes? Yeah, not word play. It's not even a pun, but yeah. Adel, I feel like you're gonna be good at these. Thank you so much. Which snake is a mathematician? Oh boy, which snake is a mathematician?

This isn't really a joke as much as it is like a thing. Like if you know about this snake, then you'll get the answer. It's like a type of snake. Boa. Mensa snake, mens snake? Boa constrictor. No, but- Calculator snake.

Calculator snake, that would be such a funny, if there was such a thing as a calculator snake, but that wasn't the answer That would be so awesome. GBC is a Viprothagrium No, I think it's literally just the name of the snake But I do think the I've also heard it with like an adjective before it like a color adjective before it my Anaconda don't want one and lets it be there. Aaron, we are at the point of the episode

where Aaron has Googled types of snakes. I did, I Googled types of snake. Garter snake, snake, copperhead, racer, brown snake, rat snakes, what's a rat snake? I hate that. King Cobra. I do want to see a scene, I do want to see a scene. Adel and I are going to be snakes. We are snakes that exist in a garden.

Aaron, you're going to be trying to pass yourself off as a snake called a rat snake and you're just a rat. Hey, we're looking for food, buddy. Do you know which way we should go? Uh, yeah. I mean, he didn't do that. He didn't do the long S thing. go? Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss kind of old school. And we keep doing the long S's in our family. Hey, quick question for the group, for the other snakes. We still eating mice and rats? Oh, exclusively. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen these rats today,

but they're eating a lot more human food, pizzas, burgers, hot dogs, and when you, oh, just when you start to digest them whole. I mean, we were on our way to try to find an apple to give to a woman but if you know what to snakes can find some delicious mice or rats please let us know my fine got a big of the torso friend with what appears to be a long snake tail in the back but it's and... And front. Looks like a... you look like a... no offense. You look like a rat with a piece of hose at the end and a piece of hose at the front.

Ha ha ha! That's hilarious. It's just because I ate a rat. But it was not in this yard. It was way down the block. Whoa! Was it far away from where we currently are, the rat that I ate? That's no problem, just take us there. You probably have no problem moving like a snake would move, huh? Of course not, but... Gentlemen, I'm full as can be and it's time for a snake nap. And then I gotta...shed my skin? A snake nap? Hey George, we call them snaps, right?

Yeah, we always have called them snaps. Where's the snake? Oh, is it? Hey, the rat ran away. Oh shit. State, can I read you some names of snakes that are disturbing to me? I'd love for you two and eventually to read the right one. Blood python.

Wow, cool. Blood python. Wow, cool. Cool name. That's upsetting. Milk snake, which sounds like a milkshake. Careful, don't order that at a diner, everybody. Milkshakes are delicious, but milksnakes are venomous. I have a lisp and my life is ruined.

10 most deadliest snakes. Do you know what they are? Brown snakes, number one with a fang, right? No, they are do you want snakes number one with the with a fang right no it's King Cobra's number one really then black mama boom slang hmm saw scaled by oh black mamba from kill Bill ooh these are scary I don't think I like snakes why don't they have arms Aaron they would be a thousand times worse if they had arms you imagine a snake holding you in a headlock while biting

you yeah a snake with arms Aaron Google 1T from D&D those are snakes with arms and they're terrifying it's a y uan-ti that's that's a that's a sit oh That's essentially snakes with arms. Oh, JBC, you idiot. You just gave us the answer. It's a 1T1000 calculator. It's a 1TI86. T1000 I think is a Terminator. I take it all back. I don't like it. If you're made of metal, you're a calculator. I'm sorry. That's so funny to use a Terminator as a calculator.

Hold still. I will find John Connor. What's 7 times 10? I got a place of bulk order at Bagels. I just need to know what seven times 10 is. Taxes are due tomorrow. Could you just sit down for a second? JPC. Oh, your deductions are absolutely fucked.

You think Arnold Schwarzenegger was a T-1000? Well, he was a TI86, right? TI86, he was outdated, right? Outdated model. I think all Terminators should have that voice, no matter, it's just like a manufacturing kink. Have you seen this boy? That would get so confusing on the phone

if they only use phones. So confusing. Okay, what snake is good at math? Oh, it was calculator snake. Did someone say that? Come on. JBC, I Googled types of snakes and I don't have the answer and so I feel like I've done the work.

Okay, so it is an adder. Oh, yes. And that's how I say Addle's name with a lisp and my life is absolutely fucked. All I want is to order a milk snake. A milk snake with Adder. OK, that makes sense. You've heard of an Adder, right?

I'm assuming an Adder is a type of snake, right? Yeah, there's like puff adders in all countries. OK, here's your next one. This is again from Joshua. Why is sex in the woods so great? Because you know you're not getting out of there alive. Cause the trees are watching. This is a pun.

This is a pun of sorts. Cause I guess not a pun, it's word play. You're feeling extra timber, you're That's good. What's in the woods so great. So yeah, you're having sex in the woods, but you're not having sex outdoors, if that makes sense. You're in something.

What would you- A cabin? Not a cabin. A tent. A tent. Oh, because it's so intense. Yes, sex in the woods is so great because it's fucking intense. Oh. That's like how is a light beer like sex in a canoe?

They're both fucking close to water. Huh. Yeah. Ah. I do want to see a scene. Okay. Of what? Yeah, what could it be? Whoa, what? Erin and JPC, you two are camping and this is supposed to be like a romantic getaway but you're both so exhausted from setting up

your entire campsite and it's just really gross and there's bugs and you're trying to be romantic, but it's not working. Okay, well that was in order. Maybe I pour you a little bit of wine. Yeah, we don't have cups though. Remember I forgot to pack them. Okay. Yeah, we don't have cups though, remember I forgot to pack them. Okay, um, and the wine is corked and we do not corkscrew.

So why don't we throw a bottle of wine at a tree? No, that's nothing, that's not romantic. Ah, Matt, babe, you are sweaty from setting up that tent. I know, it's a, well, well you know we had never done it before so I didn't know there's a lot of little it's intricate parts. Does the tent look small for two people? I was told that this is a two-person tent. Yeah and the air mattress clearly has a hole in it I can hear it I can hear it leaking that's fine we can. I have good news and bad news

Oh is not the air mattress leaking. That is a snake that isn't there. Oh That is bad news. That's bad news. Yeah, we'll be sleeping in the car. I think for sure What's that on your face? No, seriously, what is that on your face? It's a spider I think oh face? No, seriously, what is that on your face? It's a spider, I think. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, it bit you. Oh, it bit you. I saw it bite you. And then it looked at me. Maybe you can suck out the poison. No, that's actually just necessary. I think it's swelling up. Yeah, I think we've got to suck that out. Okay. You know what? Let's get in the car. Let's get in the car. Okay. We can still redeem this. Your face is swelling up. Yeah, that's not the. Your face is swelling up.

Yeah, that's not the only thing that's swelling up. Actually, it is the only thing that's swelling up, but I do really wanna at least try to, because this was supposed to be, you know, our anniversary was supposed to be romantic. Let's call it. No, let's, can we, let's have sex. No, we have to go to the hospital.

You'll have sex at the hospital, like when we were in college! Same. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Cornfields in five states No, Aaron. I wish this was fake at all. No, it's awful Indian devil can fuck up a cornfield. I bet that guy's gonna have a heyday Hey hey, yeah, they found Daffy Duck through a tree. Oh god It's a living that's not something he would say He was dead with a saw he was dead through the tree and he was holding a wooden board that said, you realize this means war.

Oh god. Blief. Um, when is a boat like a heap of snow? When is a boat like a heap of snow? When they're both... These are just warm-ups. In a river bank? When they're both... When is a boat like a heap of snow. I don't know. This is kind of akin to when is a door not a door? When it's a jar. Yeah, so when is a boat like a

heap of snow? It's water. When it's on the high seas, when it's... What would you say if a boat was kind of just like aimlessly... Drifting? When it's drifting. When it's... Dr would you say if a boat was kind of just like aimlessly Drifting? When it's drifting. When it's... Drifting in a bank. No, like a jar. A drift.

A drift. A boat is like a heap of snow when it's a drift. Okay. Yeah, just fine. I mean, these are warmups, okay? It's fine. And this last one, Joshua included, I don't know how anyone would get this,

but I'm intrigued to hear you guys try to solve it. Why is a beehive like a rotten potato? And keep in mind, this is impossible. This takes three levels of abstraction. They were both popular for women to wear on their head in the 50s and 60s. Okay, Addle got it. These next riddles are from Paul.

You can imagine. their head in the 50s and 60s. Okay, I don't got it. These next riddles are from Paul. Imagine a beehive like a rotten potato. There there's three levels to this one. What does that mean? I'll let you go for as long as you can. And then I'll give you the first level. baked potato. Mm hmm.

Coming with the Queen. The Queen honey. No, not big. Something with a queen. What about the queen? Beehive, honey. Honey. No. Baked potato. Okay. Here's your first level. Illumina-foil. Here's your first level.

Okay. A beehive is a bee-holder. It's all in the eye, and potatoes have eyes. Okay. Eyes of the bee-holder. It's all in the eye of the beholder. We're getting closer. What's another word for a beholder? Someone all in the eye of the beholder we're getting we're getting closer what's another word for a beholder someone who behold someone

something I'm really walking you into it so what this is this is more likely you would call yourself this if you're beholding like a big event like a spectator Oh tater tots spectator tots okay so when does a beehing like a big event, like a spectator. Oh, tater tots, spectator tots. Okay, so when does a beehive like a rotten potato, a beehive is a beholder, a beholder is a spectator, a spectator is a rotten potato. Amazing. Nobody move.

Nobody breathe, nobody move. Nobody move. Oh boy, okay, yeah, so that one, sorry. Look, hey, look, sorry. Joshua's just, Joshua's just, just joshing us. He does not listen anymore. I bet you a million dollars he doesn't listen anymore. There's, yeah, it's, there's some, there's, when I read some of these emails I'm like, were you just like a person who heard a couple of episodes and said I'll send them an email because

there's probably some not listeners anymore but hey I'll say that there's and this is early this is November of 2018 we had some people sending in some games that are like kind of hurdles but more are like games and I really enjoyed that and these come from Paul and DC. So Paul and DC included two games. I liked the second one better. So I'm going to save, I mean, I like the first one better. So I'm going to save that for second and we're going to do the

second game that Paul sent. So this one, I think is warmup territory. I think some of these are pretty easy to get, but I'm going to give you a list of things and you have to tell me what two categories both of these things fit into. Okay? Okay. So here's your first one. Yep. Mustang, Bronco, Cars and Horses. Mustang and Bronco, yes. The next one was going to be Beetle, but I think you pretty much got it. Cars and Animals. That's the example one. Okay. So here's the next one.

Weiner, Hamburger, You got it, cars and animals, that's the example one. Okay, so here's the next one. Wiener, hamburger, frankfurter. These are all things you can either eat or call somebody that you're bullying. Dogs. Wiener dog, hamburger dog. Yeah, German. It's a very expensive breed. Hamburger dog.

God. Wiener, hamburger, frankfurter, Manhattan, and Java. Manhattan and Java are drinks. Mm-hmm. But what else? Rude. They're also places, I mean. Aaron, food, you got one of them. And Adel, you got the other one, places.

Food and places, these are all food and places. Oh, hamburger, yes, yes, yes, I see, I see. Okay, here we go, here's your next one. Well, did you say hamburger? I did say hamburger, and I do think- Hamburg is a place. Yeah, but if we're being honest, there's probably a city- Still fun, still fun, still fun.

There's probably a city in the United States called Hamburger, Pennsylvania, or whatever. That's fair. This one is, I almost just gave you the two categories. That's the wrong way to play this game. All right, bodyguard, aviator. These are all movies. These are all movies starring Whitney Houston

and types of glasses. No, okay. Jobs and movies. It's jobs and movies. It's jobs and movies. We got two and it was jobs and movies. I'm gonna try to go faster. What were the other two?

There's more. There's producer, taxi driver, wrestler, clerk, fighter, and critic. Got it. Okay. Here's your last one of these types. McDonald's, Wendy's, Papa John's, Jimmy John's. Names and restaurants. Names and restaurants, yes.

Like I said, I think that's a very fun game, but I think it's maybe a hard game to make challenging because I think all of those are pretty on the nose. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are opening a restaurant and it's named after you. And Adil, you are his friend who thinks it's maybe not the best idea for him to use his name.

Whoa. Wow. Thanks for being here, buddy. I mean, whoa, this is a huge, this is a huge day for me. Just a huge day for me. Yeah, it's really coming along. I mean, this all looks great. Coming along?

I mean, this is kind of the soft opening tonight. This is happening. This is real, man. And you're set on the name or this is like an opening day feature or like it's changing the name is changing No, it's it's it's my restaurant You know I want I want everybody who comes into HR blocks to know that like you're getting fine food You're getting you're getting you know Henry Rollins blocks best cuisine. This is this is who I am you know yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

I Don't know it's all stainless steel in the kitchen I that's the one thing I said it has to be all stainless steel in the kitchen I mean I think a lot of kitchens are stainless steel right yeah am I crazy no yeah but you don't see a lot of courts counters you know go into a lot of kitchens though right a lot of restaurant kitchens I mean either why until I opened you know my own place. Oh and the menu. Oh my god the menu Yeah, it says tax return double tax return

Yeah, because you basically flag burger the idea Thank you for both parts of my name the idea behind it is kind of like Food is supposed to like take a toll You know it takes a toll on you. We need a lot of crap and my taxes you but we're like taking taking it back on Tax, so it's like the tax burger is actually giving energy back to you Yeah, it also I'm a little word just cuz on the menu here up on the marquee here It does say the tax burger. it says your body only retains 68% and then the other 22% leaves out of your asshole.

So it just gets very graphic, huh? Too wordy up there, is that too wordy? Yeah, a little too wordy, a little too graphic. Also, I don't know if you know this, H&R Block, it's already a big business. Oh my God, no, there's another restaurant? There's another restaurant it's already a big oh my god no there's another restaurant there's another restaurant that's stealing my branding it's not another Henry it's not another restaurant motherfuckers I can't believe

this on my big night hey thank you so much for telling me the truth all of these glad handers these yes men they've only been telling me what I want to hear, but you're actually looking out for me. You know what? Yeah? It's late in the game, but you're such a good friend. I want to name my restaurant after you. Would that be okay? I mean, if you can think of a fun way to name a restaurant after Billy Corgan...

Same. Billy Corgan's Silly Cor... Billy Corgan's silly cor-dor. Billy Corgan's silly corgis would be my dog rescue. But he's not interested in rescuing dogs, just making money from his one album 10, 100 years ago. There's more than one album. No, there's more than one album. Siamese Dream, Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness.

Billy Corian has a very young wife. Uh-oh. All right, so these next Reynolds... Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Those were the first half of Paul's Reynolds, but I remembered something very special that I wanted to do, which is take a break after we do the first half of Paul's Reynolds and come back for the next half. Smart, yes, smart.

Yes, yes, yes. So we will be right back with more of Paul's Reynolds and come back for the next half. Yes, yes, yes. So we will be right back with more of Paul's Reynolds. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Shout out to Claritin for supporting this episode and providing us with samples. Oh, no, you're sick. Yes, it rhymes with, oh, no, I'm sick. You know what? You guys are never going to get it. I was trying to show you, I need Claritin. Claritin.

Oh, JBC, why don't you just hold up a box of Claritin? Oh, I have this box of Claritin right here. Camera goes, ping, and I smile and I kind of waddle. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. Oh, JBC, why don't you just hold up a box of Claritin? Oh, I have this box of Claritin right here. Camera goes ping, and I smile and I kind of wink

when I hold up my box of Claritin D. JBC, I know that you famously live with allergies. You're an allergy sufferer. Famously. But you don't have to live like that. You can live Claritin Clear with Claritin D. Yeah, luckily for those of us who live with the symptoms of allergies, we can live Claritin Clear with Claritin D.

Guys, I know that you've been saying this live clear with Claritin D thing. It seems supernatural, but you've been saying it a ton just to me, like in casual conversation. Live Claritin Clear with Claritin D. We all know it. I picked up my own Claritin D and I think that everybody should use this product. I have allergies. I have the scratchy throat, the itchy throat. There's nothing worse, there's a lot of things worse, but there's nothing worse from a personal day to day level than that scratchy throat.

Claritin D takes it all away. It's designed for serious allergy sufferers. Claritin D has two powerful ingredients and just one pill that will relieve your allergy symptoms and decongest your nose so you can breathe better and podcast funnier. That's not part of their ad copy. I just want clarity to know I added the podcast funnier. The double action combination of prescription strength allergy medicine and the best decongestant available relieves sneezing, a runny nose, itchy and watery eyes, an itchy nose and throat,

and sinus congestion and pressure with ease. It makes you pretty funny on a podcast. That, they put, I don't know why they put that in there. But don't take it from the three of us. Take it from Claire Teen, the teenage Claire who loves Claretin. I'm a teenage Claire that loves Claretin. Ready to live your life like you don't have allergies?

It's time to live Claretin clear. Fast and powerful relief is just a quick trip away. Find Claritin D at the pharmacy counter, ask for Claritin D at your local pharmacy counter, you don't even need a prescription. So go to Claritin.com right now for a discount so you can live Claritin Clear. That's C-L-A-R-I-T-I-N dot com right now. Use as directed. Yep.

Live Claritin Clear. JPZ, live Claritin Clear. Live Claritin Clear with Claritin D. Yes, that's right. in dot com right now use as directed. Yep. Live Clarity and clear. JPC live Clarity and clear. Live Clarity and clear. Yes. Live Clarity and clear with Clarity and D. Yes. And thrusters go engine three go. All right.

We have liftoff. Oh, Aaron and JPC. I just sent a bunch of our money into space. Oh yeah. Wait, what? Well, it's kind of the same thing as how we're wasting it right now, right? There's all those unused subscriptions that we have that are just sort of... Oh, boy. Oh, Adel. Aaron, you want to drop some knowledge on this fool, or should I?

I would love to, JPC. Adel, you sort of had the right idea, but we use the Rocket Money app. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. And it's also my most used app on my phone by far. Most used app, Adel, okay? And it doesn't just... Look, I know what you,

you had good intentions, you put a bunch of money in a rocket and send it up to space, great intentions. But that's not what rocket money does. With rocket money, you have full control over your subscriptions and a clear view of your expenses. You can see all of your subscriptions in one place. And if you see something you don't want, rocket money can help cancel it with just a few taps. And you can clearly see your spending habits.

Plus, they help create a custom budget and keep your spending on track. Wow, Izawe, I just looked it up. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's features. Uh-huh. Can you believe it and rocket money will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you by up to 20% All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest They'll deal with customer service for you at all. Oh

Well, can I tell you a little secret I was lying I didn't love to didn't send money into space that would be stupid I sent a bunch of my books into space to help aliens get smarter. That's where we keep our money Yeah, I knew you're never gonna read all those books. So I hollowed them out and filled them with money Oh, no, we'll stop wasting money on things You don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket money comm slash riddle. That's rocket money comm slash riddle Rocket money comm slash riddle. We don't need money. We have friendship friendshipdle. Rocketmoney.com slash Riddle. We don't need money. We have friendship.

Friendship. Friendship. We have friendship. We have friendship. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Okay, Adel, Erin, I am putting the finishing touches on our Penguin Baseball League website powered by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs

to stand out and succeed online. Whether we're just starting out with Penguin Baseball League, which we are, or managing a growing brand with Penguin Baseball League, which we are, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with our audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on our terms. Oh, thank goodness we use Squarespace, because now we can upload video content, organize our video library, and showcase our content on beautiful video pages. You can even sell access to your video library

by adding a paywall to that content. So people might need to pay a couple extra dollars to see these cute little penguins sliding into third. Plus with Squarespace, we can start a completely personalized website with the new guided design system, Squarespace Blueprint. Choose from professionally curated layout and styling options to build a unique online

presence from the ground up tailored to your brand or business and optimized for every device. And that's the hardest part about doing Penguin content is because their sizing is wildly out of whack. You never know if you're going to get a big Penguin or a small Penguin. But with Squarespace, you can easily launch your website and get discovered fast with integrated optimized SEO tools so you show up more often to more people and grow the way you want. And I hope these penguins grow the way I want

because I'm gonna need them to grow really big to play penguin baseball. Oh yeah, all of our teams need to grow really big right? We all agree? Oh yeah, huge. Yeah. And of course you can also add courses to your Squarespace site. Squarespace has the tools you need to add courses to your Squarespace site. Squarespace has the tools you need to create and sell your own online course. So we can teach other people how to play penguin baseball. You can start with a layout that fits your brand, upload videos, and customize everything

with next generation editing technology. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Domains are where penguins live. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Oh, oh we did some sort of call. The penguins are flying towards us. They're coming here. They're coming here. They're running. All right, I did want to include also that Paul said in their message, sorry, I won't be in Chicago soon. Would love to check out your local shows. So it's been six years, Paul.

Let us know. Did you ever come from Chicago? Did we meet you? There was a big chunk of it that was a pandemic where we weren't really doing local shows. So timing, huh? What a world. What a wild ride. Look where we are, Paul doing local shows. So timing, huh? What a world. What a wild ride.

Look where we are, Paul. Did you ever think we'd be here? Does it say where Paul's from? Paul, DC. Yeah. Oh, DC, DC. Well, Paul, we came to DC once. We came to DC.

2022? Yeah, maybe Paul saw us in DC. Wow. Never came to check out a local show, but maybe they, maybe Paul did check out a local show because it was local to Paul I do feel like life shows we get X amount of fans who are like, hey, I sent you an email several years ago It could have been one of those anyone who really knows the show knows we're gonna get to it

We will get to it. We have made it a commitment now. Could we read a bunch of these on each episode? Yes, but then how would everyone know that? I went to a boot barn once a couple of years ago People need to know that stuff before they get to the email that they took time to send to us Okay, so these are these this is a game where it's like a Paul calls this before and afters so you're gonna fill in the the blank. So I'm gonna give you a word, a blank, a word, and then you have to fill in the commonality, the word that goes in the blank that links,

makes a compound word from both of those words. Got it. So it's like a word sandwich. So the example is grizzly blank hug, and the answer would be? Adams. Grizzly bear bear hug. Grizzly bear bear hug. Grizzly bear bear hug, exactly.

So another example would be flag blank vault. Bank. Flag bank, bank vault. Flag blank vault. Flag ship flag. Flag blank. Ship vault. Mm-mm, mm-mm. Flag, blank, vault. Ship vault. No.

I have no idea. Okay, so in order to fly a flag, you need one of these. Pole. Pole vault. Pole vault, okay. There you go. Flag pole, pole vault. Boom. Boom goes the dynamite. Now, I truly think that you guys know how to play this game

so we can get into these, okay? Kind of. Erin, you got one right already, and Adel, you both got the second one right. You never know with me though. I can be tricky. You can think I'm understanding what's going on and I'm over here knowing nothing.

Erin's playing the trick on herself. The squirreliest of hosts. Sign blank card. Sign. Blank. Card. Sign. Blank. Card. Sign. Blank. Card. It's in the game. Sign language. Sign. Oh, a language card.

All cards are language cards if you think about it. If you think about it. Sealed. Sign. Sealed. Signed, sealed card. Here I am. Signed, sealed? Birthday. What's a signed, sealed? Signed, blank, card. Sign. Index, sign, index, sign.

Sign up. Sign up card. Sign up card. Sign. JPC, it's so easy to be smug when you have the answer right in front of you. Yeah. Wait, you think I'm having a hard time doing this? No.

You smug even without the answer. Sign blank card, credit sign. Erin, you work on sign, I'll work on card. Credit cards. Oh, that's such a divided conquer. Sign ups. Sign. This is a type of card that you would probably enjoy receiving.

Thank you. Credit card. Erin, you're in the right direction. Birthday card. Sympathy. Birthday. Birthday card. Anniversary.

No. Greeting card. Hallmark. Maybe this is the type of card that you would consider giving a friend while you were traveling. Gift card. AMX. Uhhhh. Adel's like in a crowded marketplace and he's like, you know what my friend would really love? One of these AMX gift cards.

Um, calling? Somebody who's traveling. Yeah, somebody who's traveling. I've sent these out while I'm traveling as well. Oh, postcard. Signpost, postcard.. Oh, postcard. Sign post, postcard. Sign post, postcard. Sign post, postcard. Whatever. Sign post is just not,

if you gave me a, if you're like, what's a million words that go with sign, sign post is probably a million and one. I completely agree. I feel like people don't say sign post anymore. We take the post for granted, right? We just say, hey, it's a sign. Yes. And as a sign post anymore. We take the post for granted, right? We just say, hey, it's a sign. Yes.

And as a sign post, does that imply that there's gonna be multiple signs on the post or is it, is every sign on a post? Hmm, this is a real cheap way. You know what I'm saying, like one of those posts that says like, you know, the kingdom of Burgundy this way and Mary old England this way like that's a signpost right sure like to see a seed please you two are two nights going down a path and you're coming up upon one of those signposts and there's a clear good

direction to go in and bad direction and one of you is convinced you need to go in the wrong direction Whoa! Ah! Ah! Ah, Sir Xavier, it seems... ah, seems there is direction up ahead. Let me get out my water here. Would you like some... oh, ooh. Oh, that's... oh, that hits the spot. Water? Ugh! Sir my lord! Sir my lord, I never would dame to drink water what the peasants drank. No! I drank only the finest wine, which is why I'm so bad at riding my horse and so dehydrated all right okay now we are to meet the king's army for the battle yes so which direction shall we go okay let's take a look at the signs here looks like one squinting hard though our glasses haven't been invented yet.

Very drunk as well. Okay. Okay, so it looks like one sign says... Milwaukee. Hmm, yes, yes. It seems innocuous enough. Yes, I cannot remember. Did the king say we're invading Milwaukee?

And recall, what does this other sign in the opposite direction say, squinting, squinting? Lake Michigan. So… God. Wait, let's think back. Let's think back to the briefing. Let's think back to the… 2024, the King is like, we're invading America, we're like, cool, we're into it, man. Where's our horses?

Let's get on our horses. It's time for England to take back their power. We airdrop into here, which was really difficult on the horse. A couple of parachutes on each side. Did I say glasses hadn't been invented yet? I am drunk. That wasn't water in my canteen. That was not even a canteen.

It's a Stanley. Oh, I got one of those 80 ounce tumbler Stanleys. Oh my god, I love the straw. The straw is a game changer for my wine. I've heard tell from the peasants in the village that there's a material inside the Stanley cup that when you put it through the dishwasher it could crack and like poison you? Yes, heavy metals you're not supposed to drink. Heavy Earth metals. Oh, have you heard the new Metallica? No! No spoilers! I haven't heard it. It's called Saint Anger. There's a song that says,

I'm totally in anger with you. It's very playful but bad. That cannot be the new... 2024! That cannot be the new, what, 2024? That cannot be the new Metallica. If I haven't heard it, it's new to me. That's so true. Oh, remember friends? Remember, remember friends? So, my lord, I'm beginning to think,

first the glasses thing, now Metallica, now friends, I'm beginning to think that you are from a different age. You found me out. The great wizard Merlin has brought me from 1997 all the way to, what year did you say this was? 3042 or something? Wow. See? What did you say this was? 3042 or something? Wow.

See? I love somebody time traveling just a few years in the future. From 97 to 2024, it'd still be quite a shock. I guess really anytime you're traveling like 30 years, it's gonna be quite a shock. I'd just be like, where's all the Digimons? Nobody's playing with Digimons.

Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, what happened to the rest of the people from Destiny's Child? Why are we only talking about Beyonce? Are they thriving? Why are there no more final destinations? Guys, why are there no more final destinations? Did that premise get played out?

Guys, tell me the truth. Please be honest. But there's 10 saws, but we stopped doing final destination? Guys, tell me the truth. Please be honest. But there's 10 saws, but we stopped doing Final Destination? No, don't touch me, don't touch me. I'm inconsolable. Okay, rocking play, rocking blank play. Chair, rocking chair play.

Chair play. And if things are getting tiresome in the bedroom, bring in a little chair play. Chair play is what they did to James Bond in Casino Royale, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Horse. Horse play is great.

Air and it's horse. It's horse play. Yeah, baby. Horse play. Cattle blank back. Call. It is call. I do want to see a scene.

I was really hoping you would say got. So based off cattle call and call back. I do want to see a scene JPC you are a cow Director you're casting a new Film Erin you are a cow actor and you have a call back. This is your callback Thank you so much. We'll be in touch next me my my Wink yeah Thank you so much, we'll be in touch next. Me, my, my, I do it for all of the people in the callback. Cinnamon, it's a pretty simple scene.

We're going to have you reading with Larry. Larry is a horse, but of course, he's just a PA. So it's going to be a cow in the final script. And this is kind of just the big culmination scene where you finally are ready to express your feelings to Larry And I don't i'm not gonna say action I've already kind of done their setup and there's no cameras here. So I think i'm ready to move In together no improvising. Oh, um, shoot.

Well, I won't say no improvising, but let's try to hit at least the first line. I have to tell you, I'm in love with you. Okay. Okay, but, yeah, no, he's, that was involuntary, I believe, Larry, just trying to skip. Larry doesn't really have any lines in this scene. It's more like, you've seen what's the movie with the guy with the signs, it's Christmas and he's doing the signs to the woman. It's pretty inappropriate because like- Godfather? Is it Godfather? Now I think it might be. Yeah, the husband's home and he's doing the signs

and it's like Christmas and it's like, this is why I love you. And it's like, he shouldn't be saying it to the woman. It's completely inappropriate. It's Godfather, I think is the movie. Yeah, okay, we'll try it. I'll try again. Yeah, try again.

I think I'm in love with you. And I think we should move in together. And I know it's Christmas, and Christmas is a time where you should tell people how you feel. So in case I only get to say it once, I love you. Cut, cut. What? I'm sorry.

Your sentiment, you're perfect. Jean, did we get drunk, watch Godfather, and just write Godfather? Is that what happened? Gene, is that what happened? You're the script supervisor. Uh, uh, I think so. Never have a pig as your script supervisor.

I'm sick of all these yes pigs. And then the horse gets into a car, and the horse says, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. And then the horse starts the car car and the horse says Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday And then the horse starts the car and the car blows up Potty blank wind potty blank wind potty blank wind train Great one potty train wind Zephyr train Okay, um

Great word Zephyr. I will say yeah potty blank train potty mouth mouth wind would be like an echo it's not potty mouth two tickets for the mouth train please potty blank. Okay, I guess I'm pooping wrong. Potty blanks. He did the smash. He did the potty smash. Potty. Um. This is hard.

One of these would be a way to say someone farted. Uh. Break? It is potty break and break wind, Aaron, correct. Oh, I was thinking train, whoops. Potty train. Shooting blank light. Blanks. Star.

Star, it is star. I feel like shooting star really does lead you right there. Shooting leads us to star. First blank perfect. Kiss? Place. Verse. Love.

No. Picture first. Erin, I'm gonna change this. What? Oh yes, I'm gonna change this. Here we go. Fever blank perfect. Dream.

Pitch. It's pitch. Wow. It's two movies. It's fever pitch perfect. I'm in heaven. Fast blank game. Curious. Fast video. Fast board. Fast. No, think about what month it is. April. Fast showers. Uh huh. What happens in April in the Patreon? Penguin baseball. Fast penguin baseball game. Fast ball. It's ball. Fast penguin game. Fast penguin game. Fast penguin game. Penguins can't throw balls fast. That's not how. Alec, is my buzzer not working? I'm saying fast penguin game. Aaron, disgusting. And we're taking points away.

Did you just hear what Aaron said? I did. I'm trying not to hear what Aaron said because I'm trying to like, my therapist told me I just need to like, block the hate from my heart. Is that why you're not returning my calls? Pick up the phone, JPC. Goes right to my hate mail. Okay, flat blank out. Peace. Flat blank out. White. Flat white. White out. Erin, that works. You get it. Erin gets it. It wasn't the answer, but it works. A flat white and a white out. The answer was tire, but Erin got it. Some of these, some of these I was like,

there are probably multiple answers and I was really looking forward to you guys finding an answer that wasn't the one that was written down. Erin, a hundred bonus points to you. Oh my God, what does that do? What does it get me? What does it activate? Ugh.

Why are you backing up? Yeah, no, I just have to, I have a door. JPC. I just have to look through. Where are you going? Oh my God. You just gave me points. Yeah, the guy on the have to I have a door. I just have to look through Yeah, the guy on the other end of the door needs my help so I gotta go to the door What are you doing? It's just a mirror. There's a mirror What's happening? You're trying to climb through a mirror you're gonna get hurt Okay, so I was trying to climb through a mirror because I didn't want to have to say what it was to give the points

To Eric because it's nothing. There's nothing for the points, so I tried to climb through a mirror. Oh, just say that. Just say I tried to climb through a mirror because I wanted to give Eric points and there was nothing for the points? Do you know how- do you know how much time Lewis Carroll could have saved if he just said that? If he just said the points do nothing instead of writing an entire children's literary world? Oh my god, it could have been an email. Lewis Carroll, you idiot mathematician.

Idiot, fucking moron, just an email next time, Lewis Carroll. Okay, here we go. Out blank one, out blank one. This one's hard. Out blank one. With, out shine, out last. Last. Last one.

Last of us. Out last, last one, I mean. Out back, snake house. That of us. Out last, last one. Out back. That kind of works because this, yeah. Out back steakhouse. Out back steakhouse. Out back steakhouse. Bloomin' onion.

JPC. This one's, I don't love this one. This one, the answer is number. Do we think Lewis Carroll was a Terminator? Lewis Carroll is a perfect anagram for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wait, what did you say the answer was? Number, outnumber and number one, but number one, I'm like, that doesn't feel like, that doesn't feel like super, like a phrase that just-

It does, we're number one. Number one dad, number one boss. Yeah, I guess so. It's, it's, it's marginal. It's marginal. Out blank. What was it? Out blank. Out blank one one.

OK, yeah. Air Force Air Force one. OK, I'm skipping this next one because I think that this one. OK, I'll give it to you and then but I'm going to give you the answer real quick. OK, wrong blank line. Wrong blank line. Long blank line.

Whose? The answer is number. What's a number line? I don't know. Wrong number, number line. Number line? Number line. Number line, that's number line. Number line.

I don't know what a number line is. Okay, fuck that one. I tried to start one at a wedding recently and everyone stared at me and I said, come on, and then somebody else started a conga line and that was way more popular. That's it. That was way more popular. Seven, 14, 46, and 31, 19.

Oh, everyone's in the conga line instead. Everyone wants to play with me. Next wedding that we are invited to, we will be starting a number line. And that's a threat. And that's a threat. We'll ruin your wedding. Ground blank steak.

Keeper. Ground beef. It's beef. It's beef. It's ground beef steak. It's ground beef steak. Oh, I actually like this one. Hip blank scotch. This one's fun. Hooray. Hooray scotch. Hooray scotch. Hop. Hip hop hop scotch.

Hip hop hop scotch. I said every fucking night. Hip hop hop scotch? I said a hip hop the hop scotch? It's a hip hop scotch. It's a hip hop scotch. If you, ooh a hoppy scotch, that sounds awful. Pfft. Ugh. Ugh.

Ugh. Skunky scotch. Uh, yeah, I do want to see a scene then. Um, uh, we're gonna see a scene. I have invited you guys into my new distillery for some of my tastings and you guys into my new distillery for some of some of my tastings and you guys are my friends and you're trying to be nice with with what your opinions of my new distillery. Just treat us like we're regular customers I

want the full experience. Yeah give us a tour give us a rundown. Well so I mean this is we are in the aging room that's kind of where we kind of start off Everything is barrel aged and oak barrels for 10 to 15 minutes before you know, we bottle it and then we we pour it so you guys ready to Taste take a little flavor train. Absolutely Did you notice in the aging room there's a there's a portrait of Mark that's super old? Yeah, I saw that. What is that?

I don't know, I don't wanna ask about it. Like an AI picture, like what would I look like when I'm 90, what is that? He always accuses us of dashing his dreams, so I'm just trying to avoid that. Okay, here we go. Okay, hey. This is the first kind of flight,

and here's my thought presses here. This is the first kind of flight. And here's my thought process here. What if there was a type of scotch, which we all love scotch, right? That hydrated you like water. Give it a taste. Interesting. Give it a taste. Oh, is this Gatorade with Tabasco in it?

If it is, is that bad or that'd be good? Because it's like, for scotch I feel like the flavor is Tabasco and Gatorade hydrates you better than water according to their marketing. So. It's yum yum good, I will say that much. Yum yum good. Zero proof. Zero proof.

So no alcohol. Wait. Yeah, so basically anybody, kids can drink this. Huh. Okay. Yeah, you see a lot of, uh, a lot of under 18s in the place here. Yeah, a lot of stuff in here is stuff that kids can drink. But this is, this is an adult drink, okay?

This is whiskey. I know we all love a whiskey. Oh great. And what's the portrait of Dorian Gray about? What's the one where someone's soul goes into a painting? I'm just asking a random question and this has nothing to do with anything I saw today. I- I'm- you guys, if you- if you're gonna ask me about movies, I'm so unfamiliar with most movies, but I know the porn versions really well, uh, but I don't know that one.

Oh, what was the- porn version was a picture of Dorian Splayed? Come on, that'll you pay. Yeah, there you go. You've been training your whole life for this. Oh, yes. Picture of Dorian Splayed. Yeah, that's the one where the... Well, we all can use our brains and our imaginations to know what happens in that movie. I don't need to say it. I've been training my whole...

I've been waiting for this moment for all my life. Poor names. Okay, so Paul and DC also included some harder ones. There's only two. And so I wanted to get to these before we end with these riddles. So these, the last ones were word blank word. These are gonna be word blank, word blank word. These are going to be word blank word blank word.

Wow, before and after and after. It's a before and after, but the two blanks that you're looking for are also a compound word. Whoa. Yes. So, yeah, so it's this, this one would probably be tricky, but we'll do it. Is there an example one or no? There's not an example.

I guess we don't need it. Yeah. You know how the game is played. Yeah dog blank party blank maker Fight dog whistle dog Pound dog blank party blank maker Hat blank party surprise dog surprise Dog surprise pounds that something dog pound party anybody party Why not?

Dog blank blank party doghouse house party doghouse house house house house house What was the word dog house party blank maker? home It's not home house home party city city blank maker party hat party maker and remember the compound word starts with house to that the the the two blanks also make a another word household house so party blank maker mm-hmm And that blank also goes with house Arrest house. No House. No, it's strangely not that

Hmm fit dog house broken Not broken a broken maker Hmm, okay, so Okay, so... I think without a pen and paper this is a bit tricky. Erin. Yeah? One of these is something that you've certainly owned. And one of these is something that I've certainly owned.

Some sort of dog thing? No. Oh. Dog? An air fryer. A party air fryer. A party air fryer. You put donuts in there. Okay. Erin, I'm also going to give you this hint. Think clothing. Hat. Dress. Per sweater. Erin, it is dress. Oh. dressy. It is dog house party dress maker. And the two words that go together are house dress. A house dress. What's a house dress?

Just a lot of terms that I'm not, don't think about in a yearly or decade basis. I think like a house dress is kind of like a, like a muumuu. Like it's like a, like a one piece, comfortable wear around the house dress. Okay. I'll allow it. I bought one. I boughter on the house dress. Okay. I'll allow it.

I bought one at some point during the pandemic. So I was like, why not? Why wear sweatpants when you can just wear a fucking dress around your house? Hell yeah. That's the move. But the material was too, it was not for the summer. It was too thick. That's the hard part about buying dresses online

is you just never know what kind of ... Is this going to be like a really thick material? Come on. Come on. The roll of the dice every time. It's a real roll of the dice. Okay, one more. Here we go.

Down blank, C blank, ski. Down blank, C blank, ski. Down periscope, down, under. Oh, Edel? Down under? You have the first one. And then under ski? Under C. Down blank, C blank, ski. Under C. Down blank, C blank, ski. Down periscope down ski under Atal down under first one and then under ski under see see blank ski ski is the last okay? Apres

And then sorry the sea and ski yes see see blank ski see what goes before ski Yes, sea blank ski. What goes before ski? What goes before ski? I before ski. We drank brother. Uh oh, no don't do that. Yeah we crash. Crash our skis.

What goes before ski? I can't think of any word that would go before ski. Jet. Sea jet. Jet ski. Mitz ski. It's, it's, it's mitz ski, yes. Sea mitt.

All right, jet ski, you're on the right path with jet ski, but you didn't get jet. Water ski. Sea water, sea water ski. Addle, addle? Oh, sea water, water skis. Yes, and the operative word in the middle is underwater. Underwater, down under, sea, water, ski.

These are, these are, down under, sea, water, ski. These are great. The ones with two blanks in them are a real mind fuck, which I enjoy. There's so many listeners who are just like, you idiots, it's this. And they're right. But when you're in it, when you're on Jeopardy, the words aren't coming.

And there's not that many listeners. At most, what? Couple, like dozen thousand people think you're a fucking loser? Yeah, I'd say. Yeah, that's not the worst thing in the world. Oh, 20,000 people think I'm dumb. Yeah? What else you got?

Hey, speaking of what else do we have? We actually have some show news to announce. We have a live show. It's in Chicago, Thursday, July 25th. We're going back to Lincoln Hall. It's an 8 p.m. show. You can get tickets right now, heyredolredol.com. And if you don't live in Chicago and you still want to see us live, you can go to heyredoverdell.com slash request and request that we do a live show in your city. This has been open for a couple of weeks and we have hundreds, hundreds of requests and we're actually using this to look at some live shows in the future. So if you want Hey Red Revertell to come to your town, your city or hell, your country, please go on that heyredeverddle.com slash request and request that we come out to you. Addle, is there anything that you got for the people out there? I got a lot to say about something going on on our patreon called Penguin Baseball.

We've taught these birds to play baseball, some of them. Some of them can't learn. But if you go to our Patreon all month long, there is Penguin Baseball content. We have a Penguin Baseball League draft. We have, what else? I don't know what's come out and what hasn't, but check it out. You're gonna wanna listen. The last one is coming out this week,

is our very last episode of April of the Penguins. And you should listen to these quick before they unionize and ruin it. That's true. We also have merch for all of the teams and also an overall league logo. So you can go to Tpublic, I wanna say slash hey riddle riddle,

and find. You can always just tell people to click the link of the episode description. Click the link in the episode description. You don't have to remember links ever. Do that, do that, just easy. Click the link. Click the link. Click the link, find some merch, grab some merch.

So check out our Patreon, and specifically Penguin Baseball over there. Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote? Oh yeah, check out the sitcom D&D if you want. The 100th episode is coming up, and that's a special episode. So it'd be a nice time to check it out or give it a second chance.

BBC, do you have a, thank you, a review or yeah no no no no no no no no first of all I'll review a show Shogun pretty good next I will review a five star review leave us a five star review I I might pick it. Hey, today I picked one from, oh boy, Eliyahu Yakov. Hey, JPC. Do you mind reading the review in the voice of, I wanna say John Blackthorn from Shogun? You mean Mr. what the guy's name? Cosmo Jarvis.

Please. The guy's name is Cosmo Jarvis. Okay, yeah, I'll give it my best Cosmo Jarvis. Oh boy, to do this on the fly. Please read this now. No, I can't. Give me, Adel, you give it to me. I know you got a Cosmo Jarvis. I sailed all over the world only to come here and find that the people in these islands, the Japans, do not have a taste for me. I'm John Blackthorn. I'm John Blackthorn. The islands, the Japans do not have a taste for me. They're ruined.

I'm John Blackthorne. I'm John Blackthorne. I need my ship, my men to sail back to England for the crown. That man's name is Cosmo Jarvis. Cosmo, come on the show. You sound like- Tell us why that name is yours. You sound like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood. He kind of has a Daniel Day-Lewis voice to him.

It's like Daniel Day-Lewis and Tom Hardy had a baby. Yeah. Please read this now. Wow! What a podcast! I can't understand anything that's going on here! I'm honestly baffled! Okay thank you, Zofia. You want us to be the five stars? I drink your milk, Snake. Erinn say it. Erinn say it. Do I have to? Jupiter. Goodbye. Bye forever. Say it do I have to do better? Bye? Logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nemouras 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, RIDDLE RIDDLE Ball League April of the Penguins continues, and this time we are answering all of your questions on a PBL-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chatterbox!

You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com, such as HeyRiddleRiddle, by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month, or start your 7-day free trial, or the Review crew for $8 a month, plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there! That was a HateGum Podcast.