Hey Riddle Riddle - #303: Lucky Wolf!

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Breaker Breaker we got a Rubber Ducky Billy Big Rig on 303. Over.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Aaron, this is a suggestion. You might want to take that necklace off. It is the jangliest necklace in the history of necklaces. I can hear it, which means the episode has it in it. You look very nice. I will say you look very nice. People are going to think that it's Santa in it. You look very nice. I will say you look very nice. People are going to think that it's Santa though.

On the roof. And that's kind of fun. The captain of an airplane! He stabbed him with an ice cream! And the horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday! The horse is naked Friday!

The horse is naked Friday! Breaker, Breaker, Breaker 9, this is Mastacholi. Come in for Mastacholi, Breaker breaker breaker nine this is Masta Choli come in for Masta Choli Breaker nine. Is this Breaker nine Masta Choli you are go over. I'm heading off ramp over to the BP if you want to meet up for some- This is Lil Nuts is anyone calling for me? Lil Nuts over. Lil Nuts!! Oh, Little Nuts, this is Breaker Nine. Oh my God, you're back. How was the hospital? Hi, Breaker Nine.

They sent me away again. They said false alarm again. They called me the boy that cried wolf. No, Little Nuts. Breaker Nine. Little Nuts, this is Master Jolly. I know you're just the boy truck driver and that would make for a good movie someday, but just know that

We will call for your call signal if we are talking to you. You cannot keep interrupting every 10 minutes to say Hey, did anybody call for me? This is breaker 9 master truly. Don't you keep it down? Okay little nuts is on we want to know what's going on with their life Breaker 9. This is master. Choli. Hey, man What's going on with their life. Breaker 9, this is Master Choli. Hey, man. What's going on? Master Choli? Are we okay? Oh, you went to a BP gas station.

Big fucking who cares? Master Choli, this is Lil Nuts calling in to say... Master Choli? What are you guys saying? What are you guys saying? See, Master Choli, see what happens when you talk down to Lil Nuts? Breaker 9. My tummy hurts. Oh to Lil Nuts? Breaker 9. My tummy hurts.

Oh, Lil Nuts. Master Chole, get him some tummy medicine. You're at the BP. Breaker 9, I'm not going to encourage this 9-year-old driving a semi. He's jackknifed 10 to 12 trucks. I mean, we can't keep taking this kid under our wing. I'm about to jackknife you, Master Chacholi. If you don't leave Lil' Nuts alone. Jackknife coming in. You guys calling for me?

Uh, Mastacholi to Jackknife. This is Mastacholi... Or Mastacholi. I don't know what people are calling me. Act like you asleep. Guys... Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Weeeee. Speaking of being asleep, welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm sure you're dozing off to this late at night. And we're gonna-

No, you've made it two minutes in, so you're not quite asleep yet. So I go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, nightmares, nightmares, nightmares. Now I'll go to sleep. Yeah, you're sure when they're in between. What month is it? Aaron, it's- Today?

Riddle month. May, okay. Well then I'm late. I gotta go. Oh. Uh, wait for what month. May, okay. Well then I'm late. I gotta go. Wait for what? I don't know. Guys, what's going on? What's new?

What's happening? How are you? I'm doing pretty good. Aaron, how are you? I don't want to answer any of these questions, so it's the polite thing to do. I'm good. And Aaron, are you wearing a wire? You seem really concerned with how we're doing today. Yeah, trying to get info on how I'm good. And Aaron, are you wearing a wire? You seem really concerned with how we're doing today.

Yeah, trying to get info on how I'm doing? What the fuck? They're onto me. They're onto me. Get me out of here safely. Aaron, you're speaking into a piece of cake as if it's... Oh, yes, I must be. Anyways, what's going on with you guys?

I recently... I'm gonna start doing that in improv scenes. Like, oh, Adelie, you fell on the stairs. Oh, I must be. I must be. I must be. I must be. I must be.

You've said it, so I must be. I recently went to Disney World for the first time. Yes, how was it? It was fine. I am... Happiest place in the world. Come on, how was it? It was fine. I am, I'm- Happiest place in the world. Come on.

Well, here's the thing. Happiest place in the world is by the way great branding for them to just be like, oh, this is the happiest place in the world. Because it puts pressure on you to be happy. Something's wrong with you. But I did get to see, I am a fan of people watching and I do this to see some of my favorite things to see in public, which is kids having meltdowns and then parents not being able to understand or deal with the kids' meltdowns. And then I also saw some things that I would qualify as like parents being kind

of little bitches about their kids having meltdowns too. But either way, it was very, very fun to see. There was one ride that we were on, and it was like a, Disney doesn't really have a lot of exhilarating rides. They have some that are a little faster or whatever, but it's not like a roller coaster park. It's not like a Cedar Point.

Is that a roller coaster park? I don't, yeah. It's Kings Island Cedar Point. Yeah, exactly. But there was a Sl that a roller coaster? Yes, King's Island Cedar Point. Yeah, exactly. But there was a slinky dog roller coaster that was going on. And there was a family. It was a man and a woman and then there were two daughters.

And it looked like the older of the two daughters, she may have been a pre-teen or early teen, was visibly crying. She didn't want to get on the ride. And parents were like trying to like pull her onto the ride. And I was like guys just let her not go on there and the ride ends and begins in the same spot and there's like the employee was like you can just wait on the other side for them. It takes the ride also takes 30 seconds. So it's like they'll just be here on the other side. And I was like

Jesus, parents like take the cue. And they're like, you'll like it, you'll like it. And the girl was crying, and I was like, I don't think she will. I think that what you're doing right now is you're giving her a core memory that is very bad. I know how to assuage my daughter's fear, brute force. Pull, pull her, pull her arm.

That's insane. Oh, that's so stressful. I know, and so you got to see a lot of people having very stressful situations. But also, I have this theory. And I think that, and I could get some flack for this. Disney is not for children. I used to think, oh, Disney adults,

it's weird that adults go to Disney. It is not a place for children. It is not a place I think that you should bring children. Because to go to Disney. This is such a hot take. You have to commit. You have to commit to being there kind of all day. And kids do not have the like sensory capacity. You know, most people in their normal life don't get like the sensory overload that you get at Disney. They cannot make it. They cannot be expected to like sustain

themselves throughout the day like an adult can. So when like when kids have meltdowns at Disney, it is because I feel like that is on the parrot. The parrot is like you put them in a situation where they are for sure going to have a meltdown. They're waiting in a line in the sun for four hours and then you wonder why they Yeah. Or like every store they go into because it's Disney. It's also it was very hot there and you go inside to get air conditioning. But everywhere that you go inside is like a store with a million toys in it. So it's like, uh, not you can't really like take a kid into a store with a million toys and they're not like able to understand, especially like young kids, like, oh no, we can't just have

all these toys. Like these are all for sale. Yeah sale yeah what what do you think would be the youngest age of kid that you would? Mariah and I talked about this yeah ten years old I think whoa that's so much older than I thought ten years old is the is the youngest that I would ever consider bringing a child to to Disney I do have friends who have taken like eight and young like between like maybe five and eight year olds to the park. And they all say the same thing when they come back,

which is like, it's like, how was Disney world or Disneyland? And they're like, spend a lot of time in the hotel. We get into the park and after two hours, the kid wants to go back to the hotel and watch Bluey or whatever. And it's like, they would get exhausted. They would get tired.

They would start to scream. They would start to melt down. So it, JBC, I think you're right. I think this is a story. I saw so many kids dead ass asleep, like in strollers at Disney, which to that point, it's like, well, you know, why have them be here? They're just dead ass asleep.

And then I saw some like truly young little babies. I saw like a newborn, like five days out of the hospital, looking fucking baby at Disney. And I was like, this is, this is at this point, is a sickness. It's like you, I don't know what, how you scheduled this like vacation or something, but it's like, take a week.

You have a baby, take a week. You do it for you. You know, you don't need to be at Disney. Honestly impressive. Giving birth and then being like, I know where I want to be. The hot, hot sun. Space Mountain.

Gotta get to Space Mountain. JPC. Yes. Did you go to Galaxy's Edge? Is that what it's called? Yeah, the Star Wars zone. What did you think? What are your thoughts? What's going on?

I liked it, it was fine. Did you buy a lightsaber? Did you try the blue milk? I did not try the blue milk because it was a hundred degrees and I thought the idea, even though it's not actually milk, the idea of drinking blue milk and novelty doesn't really appeal to me in that way. So I'm like, I don't need to try the blue milk. But I did go with my friend who has purchased the lightsaber before and he did say it's like very cool.

Like they they have like a very it's like $300, but they have like a process for like you going through and like picking your saber. And I think picking your crystal or something like that. So that, if you're into that kind of thing, it seems like a, you know, a cool thing for you to do. We did go to the Star Wars Cantina. So we got to go to like the Cantina bar. Which was-

Did anybody tap you on their shoulder and say, my friend doesn't like you. Yeah. No, but I did see a guy get his arm cut off, which was, it seemed like unrelenting. Oh boy. And that was at the canteen, that was in the parking lot.

Wow. Oh, okay. I mean, all part of the experience. It was pretty late though. Yeah, the sun had gone down, so it was pretty late. You can drive into Disney now. Erin.

Yes. You just got back from the second happiest place on earth, a little green aisle, we like to call Ireland. Yes. Or Isle-land. Mm-hmm, Isle-land. How was Isle-land?

I loved it. I had never been before. And I had the best time. Got to go with some friends from Chicago. And we started in Dublin and then we drove west. And I liked Dublin a lot, but I would recommend. To the sea? Yes, to the sea. We went to Dingle and we did in Dublin and then we drove west and I liked Dublin a lot but I would recommend. To the sea? Yes, to the sea.

We went to Dingle and we did the Ring of Kerry and it was so beautiful. And I know my heritage is all Irish and so I thought I would feel at home but the air and the water and I immediately got to the cliffs and I was like, I'm the queen of this place. I should be commanding a fleet of ships from these cliffs.

I feel like I have come home to something. I should be a farmer here. Something has gone horribly wrong. I'm supposed to be in Ireland. Queen and farmer. Interesting. Queen, queen farmer. Erin is an osteomoron.

You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. It's the same. Erin, Erin, I gotta ask. You went to Ireland, I gotta ask. What? Catholic or Protestant? No, don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. It's the same. Erin, Erin, I gotta ask. You went to Ireland. I gotta ask. What?

Catholic or Protestant? No, don't. No? And think about it for a second. And think about it. I'm from a very Catholic family. Nice. Lots of Catholic church.

The Smoots. No, well, that's not an Irish last name, if you can believe it. I thought it was the past tense. Yeah, I believe it. The past tense of smite. It is. But yeah, I got... Smoot sounds pretty Protestant to me as well. My aunt, yeah. My aunt has done a bunch of research on our heritage and stuff. Great, we'll have her on the podcast. We're talking to you, Aaron. Damn. She would be such a good get. If I'm ever sick, you should try to get my Aunt Barbara.

She would be hilarious. She's great. I wanna ask your Aunt Barbara what it was like to fuck that Irish guy. I literally was just gonna say that. I literally was gonna say, can we ask her and interview her about that guy? You know what?

She would probably come on and talk about that. And talk about how he had charm. He had charm. Like what, attracts a shark in the ocean? Yeah, exactly. And honestly, it's very similar for that guy. I think you're gonna love Ireland. I love traditional Irish music.

I think you're gonna love the pubs. You're gonna love the vibe. I'm really excited. Very excited. I've been once before when Magic Tavern did like the London podcast festival or something. I went and I, maybe I told this story, but I'll very quickly say I only was in Dublin,

so I'm excited to explore outside of Dublin. And we're gonna stay with some friends in Donegal. But I went to Dublin and I went to the Guinness Brewery or whatever it is, the factory, the huge unit there. And I remember being on the fourth floor and hearing somebody laugh. And I was like, that guy laughs exactly like Travis McElroy. And then I turned around and it was Travis McElroy.

And then we hung out for- Well, like Irish Travis McElroy. Yeah, so I'm so sorry. Yeah. Travis McElroy. Which is completely different. And you heard his laugh and did he say, is that a Travis cackle Roy?

You did Okay, yeah Okay, I don't know. I don't you could have done anything anymore. I'm fighting your lip so hard your mouth started bleeding Okay, why are my teeth so so sharp? When did they teeth so sharp? When did they get so sharp? Then you went to KB Toys and found a Travis Mackle toy. What are we doing? What are we doing?

I don't know. Let's start the podcast over. Breaker breaker. Breaker died. Did we say what the podcast is? It's Aaron Riddle. It's Aaron, JPC and the guy. Banana peel. Yep. A banana peelPC and the guy. Banana Peel?

Yep. A Banana Peel? A Banana Peel. Banana Peel, mm-hmm. And I wanna start things off, well, we're balls deep into this episode. We wanna start things off, though. Pardon?

We're gonna start things off with something a little new. This is just gonna be like our warmup. And these are called Mad Gabs. No, Adels don't even joke. Hold on. And these are called mad gab's No Easel Easel eight ease man easel eighties man. He's an 80 man. Are you doing a charge our banks? I would never airy very close never He's a ladies man. He's a ladies man. He's a ladies man. I'll leave out to never do these again

I pillow fuzz sigh I He's a ladies man. Adel, we vowed to never do these again. Shh, shh, shh, shh. Eye pillow fuzz-eye. Eye pillow fuzz-eye. I prophesize. I'm Adel Raffae. Wow, actually, it kind of works. Eye pillow fuzz-eye. Eye pillow fuzz-eye. Eye pillow, eye pillow, my pillow, my pillow. Election recount.

Jeebus, you got it? Wait. Yes. Yes. Eye pillow fuzz- Yes. I pillow fizz eye. I pull his eye pillow fizz eye. Okay now now you see why I said not to do them. You feel insane don't you? I would say that that person over there is the eye pillow fizz eye. Oh apple of his eye. Yes Mouabdib JP's the dude Lisa not guy. Oh from friends, right? Yeah play break

We sigh fire up Smelly cat GPC you haven't gotten any of these so what I'm asking you to do is You sure noodle? You should door Oodle you use it or the blue doll is Usher Noodle. Usador Udol. Usador the blue doll. Usador the blue doll. Ushor Noodle. JPC.

Use your Noodle. Aaron already said it. Yeah. I guess Aaron already got it. Are you making these up or are you reading these from somewhere? Making them up. So JPC, it sounds like what you are is

Secant hired to have fit. Okay, Casey also just cut the slurs. Can you be? Can we do all beeps on that because that was just a series of no you're sick and tired of it JBC That's right. Yeah, I'm expecting the slurs. Okay. Here's what I'm finding out is One I guess you can't say slurs on this podcast anymore, which sucks for me. Yeah. It sucks for all of us, honestly. And two, Aaron, what's going on? You got all of these so fast. Well, my brain is uniquely broken. Yeah. Aaron's got a **** for a brain.

Where's the line? I don't know, tell me where the line is, I'll walk it. That's insane. Aaron's got an East Londoner for a brain? That's disgusting. Protestant, a Protestant for a brain. Well, I guess we're done with Mad Gabs for whatever reason, but should we get into-

Maybe forever, right? That's the last one that we'll do on the show forever. Except for when we're looking with Mad Gabs for whatever reason, but should we get into- For maybe forever, right? Yes, I think so. That's the last one we'll do on the show forever. Except for when we're looking for something a little new. Why don't we do some riddles? Those are tried and true. I love it. Let's see what we have here. Okay, I'm three letters.

Do you guys remember when we did Paul Ruddles on the show? Oh yeah, where it was like an image of Paul Rudd movie and then we had to. I was showing you an image of a Paul Rudd movie and then you had to guess. I was cleaning up my Google drive the other day and I saw that file and I was like, I can delete this. And I thought, well, I guess I can't delete that

because it's now connected to an episode where if people listen to the episode for the first time, basically I realized I will have a document called Paul Ruddell's forever. I have to keep that down forever. And did it break your heart? Well, you know, it was one of those things where it's like, we've done so many episodes of the show

that sometimes we'll like forget about a type of thing that we used to do all the time, you know? Like what? Or that we liked doing. But this is the opposite of that. I forgot about it, but I don't want to revisit it. So it's like, I will now always be reminded of a thing I don't want to revisit. JPC, the people are demanding more Paul Ruddles. They've been knocking down our door. Am I describing trauma? I think I have trauma over Paul Ruddles.

Here's what's going to happen. 20 years from now, your kid is going to be all grown up. And they're going to say, this is so weird. I barely knew my dad because when I was one years old, he turned into a coyote and ran away. Let me go through, oh, my mom is finally giving me his old laptop. Let me look through his computer. And they're going to find a folder that says Paul Rudd.

They're going to open it up and it's going to be a bunch of images of Paul Rudd and a very prominent image of Ryan Reynolds shirtless with a belt buckle. And they're going to go, they're going to slam the laptop, the laptop shut and be like, huh, I do love describing that photo of as Ryan Reynolds, shortlist with a belt buckle and nothing else. And nothing else. I'm three letters remove one.

And I become stronger remove two two and I become ten. What am I? Say it again. Say it again. Yeah. Drama. I'm three letters, remove one and I become stronger, remove two and I become ten. What am I?

And I think you might want to start at the end and work backwards with this one. It's probably easiest. Alright, so remove 2 and I become 10. So that's X. So there's an X in here. And remove 1 and I become what? Stronger. Okay. Uh, remove 1 and I become stronger. And I'll give you a hint. With three letters and with two letters, we're talking animals. We're talking animal kingdom.

Okay. So, ox and fox. You got it. Oh! Nice one. Wow! All right. Aaron, he's like you, but with mad gabs, but with riddles.

That's way more useful for this show. Aaron, I'm just like you. No, no, you're nothing like me. We're the same. Aaron's the same. We're nothing. No, we're nothing alike. I push my cheek next to Aaron's cheek and I say, someone take a picture of the twins. Oh, it burns. It burns. Why does it burn? Ow, ow. Your skin. I have a lava rock in my mouth. That'll help.

Nope. Contrary to my name, I am no queen. Hold things against me and my measure is seen. What am I? Contrary to my name, I am no queen. Hold things against me and my measure is seen. That's right. Okay, hold things against me.

So if you like a measuring tape you would hold. You are very hot. A ruler. You're a ruler. And I do want to see a scene. You are a ruler, so to speak. You are a queen. You are a queen farmer.

JPC, you're one of the peasants that lives in this village with this queen farmer. And you are having a conversation with her in the morning. I'm just here to deliver your potato ration. Kurtzie please. Are you talking to me or your horse? Both. Oh, okay.

Good Kurtzie. Here's your potato as well, curtsy. And my liege, my queen, here's your potato ration. Even though you farmed the potato and I'm just a potato delivery. Seems like I just picked it up from one pile at your house and brought it back to you. Do I have to explain to you how the economy works? No I do. It's cyclical. I wouldn't be able to I can't grasp it it's too big for me. Anything else cuz it's time to milk the sheep. Nope. Can you milk sheep? That's goats. I don't think goats can milk sheep either I don't think anyone can milk sheep. The I don't think anyone can milk sheep.

The Queen has been jagging off the sheep! No, no, no, hold on, hold on! Hold on! I heard from the town crier that you've been jerking off the sheep. No, no, no. How do I get ahead of this? You're gonna give head?

The Queen is trying to call scene! No, no, get me out of here! Oh my god! You're gonna give head? The Queen is trying to call scene hey No, no get me out of here. Oh My god the scene is getting smaller. I can't get out the world trying to punch through the ceiling of 22 minutes in That was some real grant Morrison the animal man moves going on here. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Anyways, that was scary, that scene, huh? That's true. That's true. That's true. Hard to- Sometimes the show is very scary. Yes, agreed. Most times, I'd say. Yeah, I agree.

Which is why, leave it to the professionals. Don't try to answer riddles on your own, okay? It can get pretty scary. Yeah, be careful out there, everybody. Yeah, be careful out there. Kids, don't answer riddles on your own, okay? It can get pretty scary. Yeah, be careful out there, everybody. Yeah, be careful out there. Kids, don't answer riddles at home. No. And kids, stop listening to this.

This is for 18-year-olds only. Well, hold on. How long does it take to give an impression? Like, three minutes? Listen for the first three minutes and then turn it off. Yes, and then turn it off. So if you're listening now, ah, ah, ah. Yeah, if we've gotten to some of the swears, turn it off because Yes. So if you're listening now, ah ah ah. Yeah, if we've

gotten to some of the swears, turn it off because now it's not the part for you. Yeah. Contrary to my name, I am no queen. We answered that one. Ruler. Okay, the person who makes me says nothing. The person who takes me knows nothing. The person who knows me wants to get rid of me. What am I? Wait, say it again. A toxic friendship. The person who makes me says nothing. The person who takes me knows nothing.

The person who knows me wants to get rid of me. What am I? Knowledge. Interesting, Aaron. So you just... Aaron, explain. The person who knows me wants to get rid of me? Well, it gave me books because that adult is the contra-positive to that. This guy has millions of books.

Oh, I am so contra-positive. Two little guys shooting their way through an alien. There's an ointment for that. Contra-positive. Yes, you can get some ointment for being contra-positive. The person who- Do we say contra-positive can still get you pregnant? No,intment for being contrapositive. The person who- Do we say contrapositive can still get you pregnant? No, that doesn't make any sense.

We don't say it. We don't say it in that situation. We don't say it. No, good. And JBC, write that down. Good. And we've decided. Very good, very good. We don't in another situation where I don't say that thing.

The person who makes me says nothing, the person who takes me knows nothing, the person who knows me wants to get rid of me. What am I? Can I have a hint? Erin, your hint, let's see. This involves something that we all have many, many, many thousands of times over touched and had on our person and in our homes. STD test. But. Phone.

Buddy, are you okay? We're all okay. We said we all do it. I want another one. I don't believe it. I don't believe you. Load it up again. Stop drinking the test. It's not a little bottle.

This is something we've all have on our person, have in our home. It's such a big part of life. But I don't think any of us would ever know if we had this specific version of it. A spoon. This is something more coveted. Aaron, I don't know if you will believe me. This is more coveted than spoons.

Okay, whenever one wants to eat yogurt and all the spoons are in the dishwasher, you tell me what people are clamoring for. Aaron, can you grab a spoon? And can you go to settings? And can you go to firmware? And dishwasher, you tell me what people are clamoring for. Aaron, can you grab a spoon, and can you go to settings, and can you go to firmware, and can you just tell me what version spoon you're running right now?

Oh. I think you might need to update your drivers on your spoon. Oh, hmm, maybe. Is your spoon not like performing in the way that it used to? Even so. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll say this is, this is to my knowledge, not checked for often. Maybe every once in a while I'll see somebody check for it. Carbon monoxide. Carbon monoxide. I check once a year. I check once a year. And you keep a carbon monoxide detector on your person?

Yeah, my nose, dumbass. My carbon monoxide detector. That actually is very good. Touche. Yeah, my nose, dumbass. My carbon monoxide tester. That actually is very good, Touche. The way people test for this, that I've seen, there might be new technology. The way I've seen people test for it is to use a marker. Height. Is one way.

Wow, height is interesting. The other way I've seen is to hold it up to the light. Oh, dollar bills, monies. Okay, but this is a specific type of money. The person who makes me says nothing, the person who takes me knows nothing, the person who knows me wants to get rid of me. Fake money. Fake money.

This is counterfeit money. Ding ding ding, you're both correct. I'd like to see a scene. JBC, you're a banker, and Adil, you're trying to get some cash out of the bank, and you hand him what is clearly not real currency, and you're trying to get away with it. Hey, how can I help you?

Excuse me, bank man? I? Bank man, it's just bank man. Thank you. Jacob Bankman. Jacob Bankman. They make us at PNC, they make us do our full name on the tag, yeah. Of course. I am reaching into my vest to produce what is a

everyday normal piece of money. Sure. And I trust that you will give me back some equally normal money in exchange. Uh, yeah, do you have an account at PNC Bank? Can I see your ID? I would prefer you don't see it. My name is Buster... Lee Buster. I can look it up.

So that is, is it Buster, first name, middle name Lee, last name Buster? Yes. Okay. Okay, yeah, I found you right here. Yeah, so absolutely you right here. Yeah, so absolutely, we can exchange. What denomination are you looking for? Catholic. That's usually a joke that I do, and I've been told to stop doing that joke.

Oh. Here's what I'll say. What currency are you looking to exchange? Mm, money to money. And go ahead and just slide it through the little slot down here, and I can make change for you. Don't turn it over. I squashed a spider with it. The other side is real gross.

OK, well, this is one-sided. Hm. So it's like a newspaper on the other. I'm sorry? I'm trying to get to know you. No, I think excited. Um, so is it like a newspaper on the other? I'm sorry? I'm trying to get to know you. No, I think so. I think mispronouncing someone's name is a great way to start getting to know them. So this is not, this is not tender.

No, stop trying to kiss me through the glass. That's not what I mean. That's not what I mean. It's not legal tender. No, this is not, this is not, this is not money that is backed by the Stop trying to kiss me through the glass. That's not what I mean. That's not what I mean. It's not legal tender. Love me, tender. Love me, do. This is not money that is backed by the United States federal government.

That's OK. I'll sign. I'll back it. Yeah. OK. So no, at PNC Bank, we are not able to exchange money that you personally back for legal tender. I can give you money

that other people have back than exchanged. Because we get a lot of people, not like you, but of your ilk in the bank who are exchanging their own type of money. Is that something that you're interested in? Mmm, pulls out gun from vest. Can I sell you this gun? That's gun. Ha ha, scene. Nope, that is gum. Ugh, I hate when I go to the bank and then you go and the little glass thing

has kiss marks all over it. You're like, whoa, everyone else is trying to kiss the bank teller, I'm not the first one today. It's humiliating. Yeah. Disgusting. Stronger than steel. You're sitting there and they say next, oh you're you're you're sitting in they say next you're like I'm actually waiting for him I'm in line for

him this is like the kissing booth from high school stronger than steel though not man-made hidden in darkness I prefer the shade sticky with glue catching those I find yet no one wants me I'm much maligned what um what huh much man man all these sheep are you guys around you realize we cannot talk about any more barnyard animals coming we've reached our limit hold on hold on entry you did this no I. No, I didn't. Much maligned, what is this, my line at the kissing booth? I meant to say milking goats, and then I realized they said sheep, and then I tried to course correct,

and now I'm thinking about pigs coming again, and it's your fault. No! No! No! Ah! How does clear delusion do? Casey, you have it so, you have have it so quickly You have it ready so quickly

Is it a hotkey? Why is it still a hotkey? Well that's Casey's secret is he's always playing it And then he just un-mutes himself Casey's always playing it Erin's just Erin's holding her heart Erin your heart is broken

I've never thrown my headphones off so fast Okay let's uh Okay JPC, JPC and your heart is broken. I've never thrown my headphones off so fast. Okay, let's, uh, okay, JBC, JBC, we have to help our friend. Quick, what is the opposite of a pig coming? A pig going? Oh, God. Going where? A horse going. Afternoon!

He walks out. No time to talk, late to work. What is the riddle of something about a kissing booth? Wait, what? That can't be right. Stronger than steel, though I'm not manmade, hidden in darkness, I prefer the shade. Sticky with glue, catching those I find,

yet no one wants me, I'm much maligned. What am I? Is this like a, mm, an ant trap? You are very close. A fly trap? You are even closer. A Venus fly trap. A JPC trap.

This is a JPC as a fly trap. All right, I got a question for you guys. What would be your like version of an Aaron trap or an Addle trap? Like if someone were trying to trap you, nobody trap us, nobody trap us. Like if someone were trying to trap you, nobody trap us, nobody trap us. But if someone were trying to trap you, what would do it?

You know what I think would do you Addle? Is I think- A pile of flannel shirts. Absolutely. It's making snow angels in it. Doesn't have to be a pile, could just be one. He's making snow, he jumps into it like it's like a dog going into a leaf pile.

I try and catch one on my tongue. I think that, I think it would be like, if the situation is you have a free day, like you're like walking around and you walked past like a storefront, that was like some sort of like lumberjack themed escape room. I think that you would probably just,

you would probably walk in. You mean the forest? James, you mean the forest? You would explode. That's the forest. That's the forest. I think if you got near the forest at all mean the forest? You would explode. The forest. It's the forest. I think if you got near the forest at all, that would get your ass. Do you think if you had a free day and you were walking around and you saw some sort of like lumberjack escape room

on the street, you would go in there? I would bolt. I would race over there to be like, hopefully there's still room, hopefully there's still time. Yeah. That sounds incredible. And actually I do want to do an outdoor

Lumberjack themed escape room now and I don't know. I demand be pretty fun GPC What about for you like a little cup of raccoon piss? Cup with if it's a big cup with a like a heavy discount if it's like a $2 JPC doesn't swish with mouthwash in the morning. It's raccoon piss. I drink raccoon piss, sure, but I'm frugal. Yeah, I'm not going to buy the raccoon piss at the grocery store where they'll charge you an arm and a leg.

What are we talking about? Oh, an errand trap. What would be a good errand trap? Okay, so... A charcuterie board, honestly. A good errand trap would be... A good errand trap would be... Aaron reaches for a charcuterie board and the handcuffs go on.

We got her. Gotcha. That was a good one. Our charcuterie board, honestly. A good errand trap would be... Aaron reaches for a charcuterie board and like the handcuffs go on. We got her. Gotcha. That was very easy. Yeah, I think that would be great. I think that an easy JPC trap would be if you just had any store that sold coffee. I would probably walk in there.

Guys, I think this is way too easy. Any store that sells coffee? Yeah, you just think if you have if you have a sign on the front of the building that says coffee doesn't even need to be spelled right it could take more fa. I just don't walk in. There are hundreds of thousands of JPC traps around the world. Yeah, yeah there's a lot of them. There's just a lot of them. Aaron, I think for you it would be like a big box with like a piece of wood underneath it, kind of holding up the box. Yeah.

And underneath that box would be Joni Mitchell with a plate of oysters. Is she gonna hold me while she sings? Well, Aaron, there's a plate of oysters, so I can tell you she might not be holding you, but she'll be rocking you if you know what I'm saying. And she's sitting on top of Kishi Bashi. Oh my God.

I almost drove to go see him this weekend. He was in Anaheim, but I was like... Wow. So if you wanted to go to Arendtrap, it can't be in Anaheim. It's got to be like a 15 minute drive. Also good Arendtrap would be have her mom and dad divorce while being very wealthy. No! Send her to camp.

Wait. Have her meet a British version of Aaron. Hold on. Yeah. They fall in love. Pierce my ears. I think, okay, a good Aaron trap would be, oh, if you, like a store, a store, oh God, a store that sold the jangliest necklace of all time.

If you could go into. What do you mean? What do you mean? A store that sold the jangliest necklace of all time. If you could go in. What do you mean? What do you mean? Earlier today. It's Santa's sleigh. It's Uncle Santa. Oh, Uncle Santa, you're here.

Uncle Santa's corpse just fell down the chimney. Ho, ho, ho, ho. It's me, Uncle Santa. Wait, you sounded like a horse there for a second. Yeah. Sorry, I haven't had my coffee today. I'm a little horse. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

You also have the body of a horse. Get out. Get out. It's May. You're way too early or too late and I can't with you today, Uncle Santa. I don't think I come when you think I come. And no, Adel, we're not doing a riddle.

We're not. Oh, brother're not brother said no more pigs Doing their business. Are you calling me a pig? Necklace god damn it Pays to have that necklace, huh? I guess it's on him, but it also got rid of him. It's true It's a multi-purpose necklace. And as we all know, that necklace, great for podcasting. And I'm so sorry I wore a jangly necklace today. I wanted to look cute.

I actually got up and I actually took off my makeup from last night, which is so embarrassing. Actually? And you know what? I'm gonna try it. I put on a necklace and JBC in the gentlest way possible What hey, honey, buddy? Hey sweet Aaron honestly this is really loud you look cute though listeners

I do think you look very good today are you know listeners the names of JBC calls Aaron It just it's it's a lot of pet names. It gets really uncomfortable for me. Addle You would never do that. Wait wait Wait, I spread it around though. I call out on my little fuck stick boy The Lord of beeps is dead Sorry JPC I think a JPC trap would be Yeah, the Lord of Beak goes up and lands in water and chaos and all the land and the grinding lake. Sorry, JPC, I think a JPC trap would be

just a bunch of communist pamphlets spread out in the street. I think that's a little too obvious. I would look in that door and then look behind me and there's a van that's house painting and there's a big satellite dish on the top of it and I'm like, do I go in the door? There's like a house painting and there's a big satellite dish on the top of it We got it Well speaking of we got him we gotta take a break and we'll be right back with taking a fucking break yet Hopefully the answer to this riddle. Holy shit

Wow, JPC, your aura is kind of, it's kind of like a gray. Oh, thank you. Like a dark gray. Do you mind if I take a picture of your aura? Oh, absolutely no. And honestly, I get stopped all the time asking if people could, did you say take a picture of my aura? Speeding or, yeah, take a picture of your aura because I want to put it in my aura digital frame,

which is my new favorite thing. Oh yeah, I mean, I'm on so many people's aura digital frames that I would be honored to have my aura on your aura. Oh, my aura on your aura, yeah, that sounds great. I got these aura frames. I gave one to my mom for Mother's Day. She absolutely freaking loves it. You just upload any pictures you have, pops up into the frame immediately. If you,

like I bought my mom a frame, I can upload pictures to her frame at any time. It's one of the best things I've ever purchased for my mom. Yeah, of course. I mean, they're Wi-Fi connected digital picture frames and they allow you to share and display unlimited photos. And like I said, my aura photo, my gray, it's kind of like a storm cloud energy that I have. Yeah, I can see that. Sometimes I, like the top of my head is actually wet because of how powerful my aura is.

And people stop me all the time, ask me for my picture. They say, I want to put this on my frame. It's perfect for Mother's Day. I want to give this to my mom for Mother's Day. I want her to see this stormy man that I met. It happens to me all the time. Yeah. Oh, and we should say that Erin got sucked into a book. Um, you know, they also have great privacy.

You have complete control over who has access to your frame, and the Aura app lets you share photos more securely than with email, which many other digital frames require. So people can't steal your sort of gray, your grayish sort of energy. Yeah, and the book is over 100 years old. Aura was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and selected as one of Oprah's favorite things. Aura Frames are guaranteed to bring joy to moms of all ages.

And right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. That's A-U-R-A- aura frames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping other best selling frame. That's a URA frames.com use code riddle the checkout to save terms and conditions apply. I would open the book to help Aaron but I don't want to get sucked in myself if you know of course no one does. Yeah. Okay, and then I'll just go and I'll start with the jingle. Is

that is that okay? Whenever you're ready. Okay, and then I'll just go and I'll start with the jingle. Is that okay? Whenever you're ready. Henson shaving, you better shave your hair. How was that? It was pretty good. It was a little bit more yacht rock than before, which is actually what we're going for.

Oh, great. Because the call, my call said yacht rock. I mean, that's why they, that's why you brought JPC in. I mean, I'm Mr. Yacht Rock. Yeah, exactly. And we here at Henson Shaving are a family owned aerospace parts manufacturer that has made parts for the ISS, International Space Station, and Mars Rover.

And now we're bringing precision engineering to your shaving experience. Okay, now I didn't know that about aerospace manufacturing and the International Space Station. I'll give you a, I'll give you a jingle with more of like a space feel if that's okay. Perfect. Bleep, blorp, beep, bort, beeple, boppa, beeple, boppa, beeple, boppa, beeple, boppa, it's in shaving. You gotta shave in space.

Yeah, well that sounds like the aliens are singing it and our aliens don't buy our product. So that's our razor blades. Huh, dang. Okay. No, no, good. No, good. No. JBC razor blades are like diving boards. The longer the board, the more wobble, the more wobble, the more nicks cuts and scrapes. A bad shave isn't a blade problem. It's an extension problem. And we hear hands and solve that. Diving board makes me think beach.

And so let's do like more of a beachy vibe for the jingle. think beach and so let's do like more of a beachy vibe for the jingle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I want to say, Henson Razors works with standard dual edge blades to give you the old school shave with the benefits of new school tech. Once you own a Henson razor, it's only about three to $5 per year to replace the blades. Just like in the 1950s when razors were like three to $5 a year and now it's thousands. And Henson shaving, what's the best razor?

Not the best razor business. That means no plastic, no subscriptions, no proprietary blades and no planned obsolescence Erin go ahead and tell us how to get those Henson razors Oh, she got sucked into an ancient book of evil to an ancient book of evil. Yes, so she's not she's in a world We can't begin to imagine already It's time to say no to subscriptions and yes to a razor that'll last you a lifetime visit henson shaving that'll last you a lifetime. Visit hensonshaving.com slash riddle to pick the razor for you and use code RIDDLE and you'll get two years worth of blades free with your razor. Just make

sure to add them to your cart. That's 100 free blades when you head to h-e-n-s-o-n-s-h-a-v-i-n-g dot com slash riddle and use code RIDDLE. Okay, 100 free blades. Let me just do another... whenever you're ready. Another jingle? Okay, 100 free blades. He's the black hunter of vampires and there's a hundred of him. Hinson shaving. 100 free blades! So is it like blade siblings or he got cloned or I don't quite know how yeah it works This show is brought to you by helix sleep You know what all of this all of this Trying to get Aaron out of this

Ancient evil book that she's been sucked into has really drained me at all And I think it's time for us to just take a little nap, and what better way to do it than on our Helix sleep mattresses. Oh, Helix sleep is the saving grace in my life right now. I'm so stressed. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep, but because of my Helix sleep mattress,

I sleep like a baby, even though Erin's, you know, somewhere in the dark abyss of the book. And we don't know, we don't know what's in the book. We just know that it's a book. We don't know that she doesn't have a Helix sleep mattress in there. We don't know that inside of the book we bought her. And we don't know what's in the book. We just know that it's a book. We don't know that she doesn't have a Helix Sleep mattress in there. We don't know that inside of the book, you can't take the Helix Sleep quiz, which I did.

And I got matched with a Midnight Luxe mattress, which is one of the best nights sleep I've ever had on this mattress. It's such a relaxing sleep. And we don't know that that's not what Erin's experiencing in the book that she got sucked into. Yes. And we realize everybody is unique. And everyone sleeps differently's experiencing in the book that she got sucked into. Yes, and we realize everybody is unique and everyone sleeps differently.

You know, Erin sleeps inside of a book. That's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. I know me, Gemma, our cats, we all lay on this bed and we all just zonk. We're all just so comfortable. Yeah, plus it's shipped straight to your door free of charge and you get a 100 night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. Plus, models with memory film layers to provide optimal pressure relief if you sleep on your side, models with a more responsive

foam to cradle your body for essential support in stomach and back sleeping positions, plus enhanced cooling features to keep you from overheating at night. And if there were to be a mattress that helps you sleep in the abyss of the book that you're trapped into, I think Helix would be a strong contender for making that mattress, which they don't currently, I do have to say. Yeah, and we should say their sort of booklet that comes with the mattress, if you open that,

you're totally fine. You're not going to, it's not gonna put you in a new sort of... The book that Aaron got sucked into was over 100 hundred years old So he looks hasn't been around as a company for that long not to knock them But I mean like a lot of companies haven't been around for over a hundred years They're going to be and that's a surely will that's because they're doing such things as offering 20% off all mattress orders and

Two free pillows for our listeners go to helix sleepcom slash riddle and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. And don't touch 100 year old books! And we're back. We're back here on the Great Green Emerald Isle. Wow, Adil, really good. Thank you so much. Yes, Adil, really good.

Thank you. I've been practicing for the last five seconds. Wow. Erin, do you think from your recent excursion to Ireland, do you think you got any better with doing an Irish accent? Certainly not, no. Did you at all slip into it by accident, by osmosis, by symbiosis?

I think that I started talking, ooh, I just did it right now. I think I started talking. I think I got a little more sing-songy in the way I was talking, but it's like the most charming, glorious accent. I felt in love every four seconds while I was there. Everyone was so charming and had a glorious accent. I was, I thought I fell in love every four seconds while I was there. Everyone was so charming and had a great accent.

Did you, when you went to Galloway, is that how you say it? Uh-huh. Did you see Ed Sheeran? No, but I did make Harrison lot, listen to Galloway Girl, and unreasonable amount of times. We were the only two that drove there.

And I think we, maybe we only listened to it once on that trip. That's unreasonable. and unreasonable amount of times. Cause we were the only two that drove there. Maybe we only listened to it once on that trip. That's unreasonable. But I made them listen to it several more times. And it was in our head the rest of the trip, which I'm sure people in Ireland don't love that. But she does. Is Galway worth going to? Say you're a little Irish man and you fell in love with an English man. You know, Galway was really cute.

You know what it reminded me of was Cape Cod. Never been. Of course. The potato chip? Yeah, the potato chip. Kettle cooked. There's a beautiful church there. It's really fun. It's very like, feels like young people are there

and artists. I went to their little clatter museum and I got a clatter ring. I was like- You're supposed to put it outward if you're, the point of the heart outward, right? If you're married or if you're not. If you're not in love. If not in love. put it outward if you're, the point of the heart outward, right? If you're married it or if you're not. If you're not in love. And then inward if you are in love.

And the, I felt like I got there and I was planning on buying a clad ring in Dublin and didn't really find anything I liked, but I did buy a cladder charm for my charm necklace. Oh, here, oh, I heard another thud. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, get out, get out. Sorry about when I was just in the shower.

No, gross, gross. That's hot water, that's clearly not water. That's way too big. I didn't say it was. Oh, God. Is that, that's motor oil. Oh, God. Aaron, we were talking about Cape Cod

and my brother's actually in Ireland right now, and he just sent me a picture of these. Did you have any of these while you were in Ireland? I've never, oh, in Ireland? Yeah. We had weird potato chips. I don't know if we had those. Were they tato bread?

Um, but I- Cheese and onion tatoes! Went to Galway, and I felt- Oh, Mr. Tatoes. They know about 11sies. Have some tatoes, Mr. Frodo. Um, what was I even saying? Who cares? to Galway and I thought they know about 11 Z's. What was I even saying? Who cares?

You're talking about Golly. Yeah, it's a boring story, but I felt very moved to get a clattering. I was like, I want to get one, but it's stupid. My mom has had one on her right hand her whole life, and I used to like play it with it in church when I was bored and And I bought one and then I took a picture and sent it to my mom and I went, I got it in Galway. And she went, that's where I got my clattering when I was in my twenties is in Galway.

And then I sent it to my sister and she went, that's where I bought my clattering was in Galway. So we all were separately. From a mile away. Separately moved to buy clatterings in Galway And that's sort of a boring story. No, that would be a fantastic story if your mom was not in her 20s because you went and you're And I'm 32. Yeah, and I'm pretty old now. You're a million adult. I'm pretty sure you're in your late 60s

Thank you. I don't think we should be throwing stones if we live in very old bones. My brother also went to Ireland and or is there now and he sent me this photo and he said this is I found the Irish version of JP Riddles. Would you like to read what this says? JJ Riddles. JJ Riddles. Yeah, that's definitely. It's a restaurant.

So I think it's maybe in Dublin called JJ Riddles. Yeah, that's definitely. It's a restaurant, I think it's maybe in Dublin, called JJ Ruttles. That's honestly incredible. I think that restaurant has a strong case to sue me. So maybe I will not be going to Ireland because I do not want to get to a contentious, I'm not really sure what their legal system is over there with Mr. JJ Ruttles. They better safe than sorry. Well, you'd be judged by the farmer queen.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she's usually too tired to. Erin, you'd be judged by the Farmer Queen. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he jacks up. Who's usually too tired to... Erin. What? You're doing it. I'm not doing anything. No one's doing anything except riddles, which we're all doing, and Addle, I believe.

I'm not doing anything. Erin, you're not the boy who cried wolf. You're the boy who let the wolf out and then cried wolf. And then jacked it off. You guys, this is not funny. This is not funny. This is not funny. I don't think I've ever heard Erin say jacked. No, it's very funny.

I just don't think I've ever heard you say jacked off so much. I've never said it before. This is my first time saying it, I think. Stronger than steel, though not manmade, hidden in darkness, I prefer the shade. the shade sticky with glue catching those I find yet. No one wants me. I'm much maligned We were blazing hot when we were talking about flytrap mouse trap No, we're getting colder Interesting. It's a it's a I will say it is canonically a type of flytrap spiderweb

Erin it is canonically a type of flight trap. Spiderweb. Aaron, bingo bingo, bingo banjo. Wait a second. Hi, Titari. Now, look, I feel like I might be on an island here, but did it say something about no one wants me? Yeah. No. Why not?

You want the spiders to eat other bugs? Yeah, I love spiders. Spiders are some of my favorite things to have in the house. This is my... Okay, you are definitely a spider. We got of my favorite things to have in the house. This is my... Okay, you are definitely a spider. We got him, we got him. We got him, we got him. He's a spider.

Where's the rest of his legs? Good luck coughing me. No! Spider legs, all these spider legs, you can't put handcuffs on. This is my number one qualm with, like, I think they're called silver fish or like house centipedes. House centipedes.

A lot of stuff like that, where people are like, I'll see a house centipede, I'medes a lot of stuff like that where people are like I'll see a house centipede. I'm like, I'll kill it smash my smash and people will be like Oh, you're not supposed to kill those cuz they kill other bugs and then I see what other I look up type type type type What do house centipedes eat and I see the other bugs and I go no I'd much rather have these guys this freak like what the trade-off is not worth it Like what is the- The house in the piece, they look really disgusting because they have all the legs, but it is

true that they don't, they can't bite humans. They're like, they basically do nothing to people. So you know, it's like, look, you cannot have no bugs. Your house right now is full of bugs. Like bugs are just part of this ecosystem. No, don't say that. I have to eat all day. Aaron, is he true?

But my whole thing is like- No, at all. GBC is always lying. If I see flies or something in the house, those are annoying. And I'll try my best to get the fly either out of the house or kill the fly. But if I see a spider-

Just swallow the fly? If I see a spider, well, I saw a big ass spider in my house the other day. And I was it was right next to like where I was working out. And I was like, I don't mind that the spider is here, but I do not want the spider to crawl on me while I'm working out. So I did get a little piece of paper and I put him in a corner and I said, OK, now, now time to be over here because it's away from me enough that you Blair Witch the spider. Yeah. I confused the Blair Witched a spider? Yeah.

I confused the fuck out of a spider. I spider thought, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm moved. I live in spider Seattle now. Hello, what's this? Two malls meeting? Perfect place to... I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm moved. A corner office?

Did I just get spider promoted? Oh, wait, my house. Oh wait a minute, no it comes out of my butt. Here we go, spin, spin, spin, spin city. Put on some spin city. Yeah. So yeah, that spider had a great life and then I lost it.

I don't know where it is now. So back on the walls for you, spider. Here's something I wanna ask and I feel stupid for asking this but. I cannot wait. But I feel like this is. Front to back. This isn feel like this is. Yeah, front to back. This isn't a safe space, but it's.

Oh. Wait, I've been wiping side to side. Wiping side to side is so not intuitive. It is so funny. No, no. To be. Wait, am I really not supposed to wipe side to side? No, you guys.

What? Oh, oh. Because. Am I too young to retire? Because if I don't wipe, if I wipe any other way, it's still like a big lump, but if I go side to side, I thin it out. Oh, oh. Because. Am I too young to retire? Cause if I don't wipe, if I wipe any other way, it's still like a big lump. But if I go side to side, I thin it out. I'm gonna take my headphones off again.

Headphones off again. Aaron, he's talking about his windshield wipers. And snow. Some of my windshield wipers go side to side. I'm not falling for this again. Aaron, what are you talking about? Falling for this again. I mean, have I ever gaslit anybody in my entire life?

I mean, what's going on? What happened to your voice? It turned into Cheddar Goblin. Was my voice any different than how it normally is? James, he turned into Cheddar Goblin. Gaslighting people. From the 2018 movie we saw together called Mandy at the Music Box Theater right on Southport.

I sat next to Brett Lyons the whole time and he was so fucking hot. I sat next to, I think you and John Forsythe and he was also very happy. My question is, what is, and I have an inkling, what is the difference between a spiderweb and a cobweb? And my inkling is that a cobweb is like an abandoned, it's like a dilapidated home, like shuttered.

It's like the spider was like, and this sucks. A vacant spider web. Yeah, the spider gets a family and he's like, I need a bigger web kind of thing. I've always thought maybe it was like the difference between soda and pop. Like it was like a regional difference. Cobweb is seemingly abandoned.

Spider web is still in use. Okay, so they remove. We take out the word spider so that it's not and it's because it's not an imminent threat Yeah, but are we calling it a cobweb when the spider like goes to the store? When does it become a cobweb does he have squatters rights? Yeah, what this spider goes to this door comes back He's like, where's my fucking house? It's like I am so sorry Also, why are you going to the store? I thought you caught your food. No. It's not going so well this month. I had to go supplement some of the supplies, okay?

It's not going so well because you won't kill house centipedes. I do think it's funny too because they couldn't be upset about the cobweb thing because it's, as soon as they go back into it, it's a spider web. They can't be like, someone renamed this? Well, I was going, oh, yeah, you're right. I'm back in, so it's fine. I do wanna see a scene. Erin, you are a spider real estate agent. JBC, you're a spider new to a certain city. Right this way, right this way. There's a lot of cobwebs in this neighborhood.

Is it not, is there not, is there residency issues? Don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure they're all at like a party. Okay. Okay. This is a boot that has seemingly been here for a while. Interesting. And then an old box of Diet Coke. I think a great web could be built between these two. You know, I just see all the cobwebs and it's like, and I'm planning on starting a family. I kind of want to settle down and have a million babies.

Well, great schools in this area. Okay. Great schools. But how is the safety? Because that's something that is of great concern to me, you know, especially if I want to have a million babies. Right, right, of course. And you know, you're going to hear rumors that there's a cat around here.

Sure, yeah. That's been swimming, killing spiders. Oh my god, I hope not. That is just that. A Hruma. A Hruma. It's a Hruma. And that old woman with a broom.

Now, she's just, is she sweeping? She's going to be using that to sweep mostly the floor, I'm assuming, right? Ceiling. And the ceiling. No the floor, I'm assuming, right? Ceiling. And the ceiling. No, no, no, neither, actually, probably neither. It's more of a prop for her. She's probably a witch.

Anyway, do you wanna check out? I mean, you've got great views. Great views from this bot. Oh yeah, I think I can almost see the trash can. Yeah, and I, come on. Okay. I really need to make this Um, oh, I wish you hadn't told me that what I'm gonna destroy you on this deal Oh, no negotiating you never tell someone how desperate you are and I still am

Well, you know, I'm gonna get 10k under asking All right, well I'm gonna send the cat after it alone. Do you accept spider money by the way? Um, no. I have drawn a little picture. Oh, whoa. JPC, I just realized what your trap is, what the JPC trap is.

And it's a computer open to a budgeting spreadsheet. I'm like, I could get porn on this thing. Okay, www. Close the spreadsheet. Let's see here. Be cruel to me and I'll probably crack. Smile at me and I'll always smile back. What am I? A mirror.

Oh, a mirror. It's a mirror. Yeah, it's a mirror. Classic riddle answer, a mirror. When I sing, sorry, when you sing, I come alive. But shortly afterwards, I die. When I die, you clap and cheer. That's pretty fucked up.

But I'll be back again next year. An echo, a phone, a birthday, a camp birthday candle. Erin, a birthday candle. Is it a birthday candle? Yep. When you sing, I come alive. But shortly afterwards, I die. When I die, you clap and cheer. But I'll be back again next year. I'd like birthday candle? Yep. When you sing I come alive, but shortly afterwards I die. When I die you clap and cheer,

but I'll be back again next year. I'd like to see you sing. Maybe. Adolphe your birthday, and JBC you're singing him happy birthday, and you forget the lyrics about halfway through. Happy birthday to you. You don't have to do this.

Happy birthday to you son. Time of day is 430. Uh. Michigan looks like hand. Hey, happy birthday Greg. Thank you. Hey, buddy. Well, hey, just wanted to stop by.

I need you to drive me to the hospital right now. Yeah, one of your eyes is all red. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think what happened is I got bit by a werewolf last night. And I'm just now. Oh, in the eye? You know when you have a dream and you don't remember it till like middle of the day?

Yeah. I, it's that but from the beginning, bit by a werewolf and I feel like I am turning and all of my thoughts are going like very, very haywire. Okay, everyone calm down. I know it's my birthday, but I know what to do. Show me where the werewolf bit you. Right here.

Okay, and I just have to suck out the werewolf. Okay, suck it out of my, okay. Yeah, and I'm almost done. And I'm almost done. What? Still a little bit of werewolf in there. How do you know? Uh, just, I can feel it, not quite,

I haven't quite gotten it off yet. And pause. All right, just, I know you guys are all new, hey, Riddle Riddle students, And this is sort of an advanced question. But how does a scene that start? Excuse me. How does a scene? what it turned into. Someone sucking the werewolf out of someone else. How does a scene melt so much like a candle? That one, did anyone see a moment where it started to turn? Yes, JP C.

So, thank you. Maybe, I think it was maybe earlier in the episode, I believe Erin introduced the concept of jacking off animals and then I think that- History will say that she didn't. Well, okay. Continue your point. Contributed to the sucking out the werewolf thing.

I think that there's an easy jump from jerking off a ghost or whatever Erin had said to get into sucking. I disagree, I disagree. Yes, Addle? Okay, fair. Yes, I think I know where they went wrong. JPC should have peed out the werewolf, just like poison, right?

Ah, yes. If you've ever been by werewolf,ed out the werewolf just like poison right ah Yes, if you're a bit of my real pee out the werewolf you are an advanced Hey, we're the little student you know more than I mean oh, but Adam was the one in the scene that brought up Sucking out the werewolf, so how would it be JPC's responsibility? I don't remember. I don't remember if that's true or not anyways Let's call class early, huh? Maybe we've got outside. Can we have class outside? Can we have class outside? Can we have class at home? Can we have McDonald's for class?

There's a hailstorm out there. Aw. Pigeons. Scene. Oh, we were still in the scene. Yeah, I think we were. A scene within a scene. So, Aaron. A scene within a scene.

Aaron, I think, here's what I'll say. One, I absolutely fucking love that move. Two, that might have been the saddest scene we've ever done because clearly the three of us opened up a school for riddles and the only students were us. Are us? Yeah, that's not great. Yeah, and that school for riddles is called

J.J. Riddles Restaurant in Tafford. We have been sued into oblivion. And we have been sued into oblivion. And we've been sued into oblivion. There's got to be some way to not get sued, right? Can't we do some sort of, can we cast some sort of spell? We could try to run real fast. Yeah, we've got to run away from it. Can't sue me if you can't catch me.

What's something you can outrun? A lawsuit. It's my favorite thing you do, Adol. I've stolen it. I do it all the time. What about... Oh, I've stolen it. I do it all the time. What about, quack, quack, quack. Oh, I love that too. Quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack, quack.

How about we do- Lockie your chicken car. How about we do one more riddle. Okay. Fine. And then hopefully by then the hail is done and we can all go home. Yeah.

All over the world, people come to see me. Each person spends several years with me. If you are too young, you cannot visit me. If you are too old, you can't come either. Unless it is required as part of your job. I can make you smarter and wealthier. What am I? I thought that was going to rhyme and it didn't really rhyme.

Uh, middle age is a pretty good diff. Is this like college or something? Ooh, JBC. You got it, it is school. All over the world, people come to see me. Each person spends several years with me. If you're too young, you cannot visit me. If you're too old, you can't come either.

Unless it is part of your job. You can't go to a school if you're too young. You can't even visit. If you're too young, no, you can't. Yeah, if you're a baby, you can't even visit. Yeah. If you're too young, no you can't. Yeah if you're a baby, you can't go to school. Your skull isn't fully formed. And you have, you can be, you can go to school when you're pretty old like you can do Billy Madison and you can go to school when you're in like your 20s but as soon as you hit your 30s you can't go back to sixth grade or whatever. Yeah if

you're pretty and old you can go back to school. Like what's her name from Red or whatever that series is. Taylor Swift. Who's that dame? Who's that old dame? Taylor Swift. Yeah. Well that went quicker than I thought,

so let's do one more. Okay. What sweet five-letter word has only one left when two letters are removed? Come, and then you take off the two extra hips. Hmm. I agree with JPC. The council votes for come on. Come on.

That's our vote. It's a sweet word. Hmm. Wait, that's five letters. Okay. And then what happens? What is it? Nothing.

What sweet five letter word has only one left when two letters are removed? Donut. And you take off the do and then it's just a nut. Yeah. Oh, and come is when you do nut. And Casey, did we get that clean? Can we isolate that?

I will be going back into this episode and I will be recording come is when you nut and I will be putting it into this episode and I will be recording, come as when you nut, and I will be putting it into a drop in a future episode. Is it weird that in 25 years, someone's gonna find this audio and play it and be like, what the fuck is this? I don't think, 25 years, I don't think so, buddy, I don't think so.

Future generations of our children, our grandchildren's grandchildren will find this and go, oh God, this is awful. How do you scrub this from the internet? If someone ever finds a recording of me saying, come is when you nut, they're gonna be like, yeah, him. The guy who says that in regular life all the time as well. Do you know the, there's an old seg,

and by old, I mean, it's probably from the 1940s. I can't remember who said it. Or maybe I do and I just don't wanna say their name because I don't think they're. I guess 1940s. Hold up well. Radolf Rittler. There's someone who's once said,

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. This is how I feel about podcasting. Once we as a society restart the world, I don't know with what equipment they will be recording podcasts, but all podcasts will be movie reviews. And I think once we restart the entire universe and mankind in our societies, when we're back to, we start as basically you know, basically cavemen all over again,

I think we're gonna have to start back at movie review podcasts. Look, I think we're a long way from movie review podcasts. And I welcome it. Check out the most recent review crew where we eat 60 grapes in a minute, or 60 grapes in an hour. While watching What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

That's the end of society, I think. Maybe, or at least I did. What did we do for the answer to this riddle? Did we get it? Nope. What sweet sticky five-letter word has only one left when two letters are removed? Addle, anything to plug.

Sticky five-letter word, okay. Stick. Glue. No, but where a stick calls home, this might be found. A tree. Maple syrup. This very, very close. The ground. Erin, very close. Maple syrup. It's maple syrup's second cousin. It's honey. Erin, it's honey.

Honey? They're second cousins? You didn't know? Is that silence? Erin, when you look at the family tree. Of course. If you take off two letters of honey and you get... When you take off the H and Y, you have one left. I would never take off the H and Y. In a million years I would never take those off.

Well those are the best letters for sure. That's what makes honey honey. Yeah. Oh honey no. Oh yeah. You take off the H and the Y and basically honey. Yeah. Oh honey, no. Oh yeah. You take off the H on the Y and basically you're just using like agave syrup at that point.

Which is good if you're diabetic, but none of us are to our knowledge. My team has been spilling like popcorn. Get tested for diabetes, however that goes. If you enjoy agave syrup, you are diabetic. Sorry to break the news to you, but that is... And if you're not sure if you're diabetic,

what you're going to want to do is go outside, pee on the sidewalk, and if ants come racing towards your piss, you have diabetes. Ants come racing towards your piss. You have diabetes. Hey Matthews man. Hey Wim Shaw friendly ant piss. Addle, do you have anything to plug? No, Matthews man. Hey, Wraith family.

Ant piss. Addle, do you have anything to plug? No, please, help me. I'm trying to get us out of here. I got nothing to plug. JBC, you do a review. Real quick, real quick, real quick. Well, hold on.

I got to direct people to our live shows. Hey, runoverdoll.com slash live. And if you want to request us to come to your city, hey, runoverdoll.com slash request. And of course, I'll read a review. I love doing the shit for you guys. This one is from othehumanity. And that's just a fun way to phrase a little joke

in your review. If you want to leave a five star review, just leave it. Wherever you leave a five star review. Love. I really love these beautiful people, but not necessarily how they have changed my brain Yes, love the people and not the poison pee out the poison of the humanities suck out the werewolf And this is a mercy kill Jupiter if you see something suck something I've got the werewolf. Oh god. 1, 2, 3, 4free episodes. See you there!