Hey Riddle Riddle - #304: The Completely Normal Episode

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. We've all been there. Rummaging through pipes, dodging man-eating Venus fly traps, grabbing coins, fighting hammer-slinging turtles and stumbling upon polka-dotted mushrooms, eating them, turning into giants, and going on full-blown rampages. Relatable. Huh? Wait, wait, what?

Starting point is 00:00:22 Huh? Super Mario! He eats the mushroom, he gets big and strong. He eats the mushroom, he gets big and strong. He eats the mushroom, he gets big and strong. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Schedule 35 is kind of like the Super Mario mushroom, but for your mind. OK. Schedule 35 will send you precisely measured microdoses of psilocybin that you can take daily to enhance your day without seeing, well, man-eating Venus fly traps.

Starting point is 00:00:44 Oh, okay. There is an emerging movement around psilocybin, and it's proven to help with mental health, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. And studies have shown that psilocybin works by creating new neural networks in the brain, which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement, and help fight addiction. I've had friends with PTSD who have used psilocybin and said it completely changed their life. Pretty cool. And Schedule 35 ships all across Canada and the US and is the most notable brand currently

Starting point is 00:01:10 operating in the space. All products come with guides that make microdosing easy to understand. All customers will need to be age verified. 19 plus in Canada and 21 plus in the US. They will receive an invite code. Oh, so I probably have to prove my age. Let me get out my- Adel, you're 60.

Starting point is 00:01:29 Driver's license, okay, fair enough. For all of our products and to get an invite code, visit www.schedule35.co. Our goal is to de-stigmatize and re-educate on the science and real world benefits of psilocybin, as well as making it accessible for everyone. Because mentally, sometimes I'm like, you know, the princess is in another castle and I can't deal with that.

Starting point is 00:01:52 I need something. Amen, Mario. Erin, how do you say it? Is it Mario or Mario? Marry me. Oh, Erin, no. Something's on the right. So get 15% off with code RIDDLE at schedule35.co.

Starting point is 00:02:04 That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use code RIDDLE. And when you use schedule35, you're gonna win, right? Yeah, that's right for that thing. You're gonna win, yeah. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Hey! Felt the femur goldfish,

Starting point is 00:02:25 It was the cabin of an airplane, He stabbed him with an ice cream, And the horse was a prey. One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle, One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle, One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle, One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle,

Starting point is 00:02:43 One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle, One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle, One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle, RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP Let's start the episode. Okay, and so the episode has started. Okay. Okay, and everyone's here for the start of the episode? Everyone's here. Okay, so Erin, so I'm looking at my watch right now and the episode has started, of course. Come on, man, I would never do that to you. I'm sorry. Teacher. You would never have the opportunity to do it to me.

Starting point is 00:03:23 Now Erin, what was so important about today that you had to go put on a lobster sweatshirt while the episode was about to start? Right before the episode started, I realized that I had a bad attitude. I realized that I was not the best version of myself and I thought these two guys, they deserve better. They deserve a warm Erin.

Starting point is 00:03:44 All of my sweatshirts are right to my right. All of them, I'm in a closet. And I decided, you know what? Why be cold when I can be warm? And this was the first sweatshirt. Erin, here's what I think. I think you need to move all those sweatshirts out of the closet, because I think the closet

Starting point is 00:03:59 is where you record. I don't bring my like steam deck down here to record, because I know that if I saw it, I'd say, I'm gonna play a little steam deck while we do the episode and I could and it would still be the best fucking episode You've ever listened to I don't know Case you'd be editing out a lot of me playing with An adult playing with his abacus because it's right there It's right there where he records his records. It's Adalbicus. My people invented this.

Starting point is 00:04:26 This and arithmetic, I believe. Or at least numbers. Do you like my lobster sweatshirt? What'd you say, Aaron? Do you like my lobster sweatshirt? Unrelated. I don't. I love it. Aaron's people invented lobster sweatshirts. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:44 Here's the thing, Aaron. White women. I think. That's my culture. I think in order to balance out the universe, if that makes sense. Sure. JPC.

Starting point is 00:04:58 I think for the next. Please, are you about to tell me I can go get my steam deck? I think for the next 57 fucking minutes, I think we do a positive sweater roast episode. Look at this great sweater, Erin. Wow, look at it. Thank you. Now, was that so hard?

Starting point is 00:05:17 Erin, I really do like the sweater. And it gave us something fun to talk about. And isn't that always something fun? It's just a breath of fresh air. 300 episodes in and we're still finding something to do. Little morsels to chew on. I actually have something fun to talk about. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:05:33 Which is three days ago, I get a text in that says, are you home? I said, I can't remember what I said. Oh, I forgot that Erin knows about this because I told Erin about this. I think I said I'm home, but I haven't slept since the day before or something. So I was like, yeah, I'm not doing well.

Starting point is 00:05:50 And JPC was like, oh, and JPC sent the text, I should say. He says- And I'm JPC and that's Aaron. This is Adil, this is Hayward and Riddle. This is Hayward and Riddle. This is a podcast about stories. Shut up, just back to the story. We have to get that out of the way so we get back to the story. So JPC says, well, if you're real sleepy and tired and cranky, then this isn't the back to the story. We have to get that out of the way so we get back to the story.

Starting point is 00:06:05 So JBZ says, well, if you're real sleepy and tired and cranky, then this isn't the day to do this, but I have an early birthday present for you to drop off. And I'm thinking, huh, my birthday is June 1st. It's a bit a ways away. A month even. A month is not, a month is fine. A month is fine for an early birthday present.

Starting point is 00:06:25 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said early, so his bases were covered. And I'm thinking- And Al, can I make a huge guess? Did he bring you something so normal and small? That's what, Aaron, that's what I thought. I thought this is gonna be some sort of like a box of chocolate covered cherries, candy bracelets, something like that.

Starting point is 00:06:43 Writing some stuff down for next year. Box of chocolate bracelets. Wait. That was it, right? A couple days later, I say, I'm home. JPC says, all right, I'm gonna swing by. JPC pulls up front, knocks on my door. I open the door, I say, hey buddy,

Starting point is 00:06:58 we're both wearing Hey Riddle Riddle merch. We are. Which actually kind of rules. JPC says, get your shoes. I said, my shoes? Is my early birthday gift a hike somewhere? Go to my shoes, go out to the car. JPZ pushes a button to lift up a great,

Starting point is 00:07:15 this guy's got a great car, great SUV. It's great for the reveal of a large gift. Get to the part where he shows you the dead body in his car. Get to the part. He presses you the dead body in his car. Get to the part. He presses a button, the trunk opens slowly. As it opens, I see what I can only describe as a pile of 100 foot bones.

Starting point is 00:07:35 This motherfucker got me the Home Depot, limited edition, sold out everywhere, 100 foot Halloween skeleton and I'm I'm years in the making I take a knee I'm I it feels like a punch in the gut I'm so happy I'm I'm double the it's violent this thing is as pleasurable as a knife cutting across my back. I mean, I am in ecstasy. Nothing wrong with a little pain, a little pleasure. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:13 Well, call me a little compy. Now the proud owner, proud honor, of a 100-foot skeleton. I've got to give it up to my man CK, representing Ohio. I was about to say the city of Ohio, but I was like, I actually don't remember. I gotta give it up to my man CK, representing Ohio? I was about to say the city of Ohio, but I was like, I actually don't remember. I think it's Ohio. But CK messaged me on Discord,

Starting point is 00:08:32 which is something that you are not supposed to do. So let this be a lesson to everyone. CK messaged me on Discord and said, hey, I was shopping on the Home Depot website for something else. I saw that they had them in stock. It was like 6 a.m., probably 7 a.m. Ohio time. And I immediately went and got it.

Starting point is 00:08:49 And when he checked, there were like 4,000 left nationwide. And then like 15 minutes later, there was 2,000 left. So I feel like we really got it under the wire. And I've been looking for this, I've given up, but I've been looking for this 100 foot tall Halloween skeleton for three? Two and a half years? Three years?

Starting point is 00:09:06 I think three years. I brought it up maybe three years ago that I was obsessed with them and I wanted one. And here's the thing, I had given up Aaron this past Halloween. I gave up Pope. I said it's not going to happen for me and that's fine and I need to make amends and I need to... Amends? I gave...

Starting point is 00:09:21 I actually gave Aaron power of attorney. Which I abused immediately. I need that back. No, finders keepers. Because the skeleton's gonna get power of attorney. And even just taking these bones out of the car and putting them in my house, the rest of the night I was just picking up bones.

Starting point is 00:09:37 I was picking up the big skeleton hands and I was pressing Gemma's body with them and petting the cats, scratching. Uh-oh. Yeah, I told Jim about this. I got a present for Adel. I think he's really going to like it. I think you're not going to enjoy it at all. Yeah, Jim is real stressed.

Starting point is 00:09:54 I will say, Adel, this is really good news. Our JPC is evolving. He's getting older. He's maturing. Because originally, both of our impulses were for him to just set it up in your yard. Yeah. And have you come home to it, and then

Starting point is 00:10:09 you have to take it down. To deal with it. I really wanted to wait for you to go out of town and set it up in your yard. I also was going to do a thing where I tricked you with a different thing, and I was like, oh, we're going to go somewhere, you and I. And then I have to make a stop, and we have to stop by Home Depot

Starting point is 00:10:23 real quick. And then I was going gonna force you to like- It's like a Sopranos episode. Yeah, put the skeleton bones in the car. But then I realized that you got a lot going on right now, and I was like, I just wanna- And I rode around in my car for three days with a car full of skeleton bones,

Starting point is 00:10:38 and it's hard to see- Are you scared of getting pulled over? It's also just like, it's a safety issue, they're all over the place There was a time where I Mariah had to take the car and I was like, okay Let me take all the bones out put them in my garage and then I'll put them all back in the car I was ready to get rid of these fucking boats I'm very needless to say Incredibly excited one of the best gifts I've ever received and I cannot wait to

Starting point is 00:11:02 Scour Etsy to see what sort of special holiday Akutra ma is on sale for different for Memorial Day Arbor Day. Maybe when it's not Halloween season, maybe I take The skeleton apart I leave like half of his I take him apart at the waist Okay a phrase I've said several times and I put on like a straw hat or something I put it in the Tiki bar and it's yeah It's Tiki bar kuchima. I think this is perfect home decor I think a lot of people say you can only have a hundred foot skeleton outside your house wrong you can that that Lay it down long ways through your living room. I

Starting point is 00:11:39 Think if I had my druthers I would have it like peeking out of the top of my house Like wearing the roof of my house as a hat and it's kind of crawling out of it. A la one of my favorite movies, Kubo and the Two Strings. They fight a big, big ol' skeleton. Yeah, yeah, they do. I've seen it and they do. Now JPC, I have to alert you to something.

Starting point is 00:11:59 Okay. Which is, maybe the same night you brought that over, maybe the next day, I can't recall. I saw online, Home Depot now has a 10 foot Darth Vader for sale. You know, it's almost as if Home Depot realized that they could give you whatever the fuck and people would pay $500 for it and then they're just like, let's just make anything. It's almost as if that is the case. I think the future is 10 foot tall items everywhere. And I think the future is bright.

Starting point is 00:12:30 I have a thing I would like to say about the skeletons. Yeah. Okay. And I don't know if we've already talked about this with the skeletons, but don't you wish you could see the look on the faces of the guys who dig up our society in like 1,500 years, and they start finding those bones and they get so scared.

Starting point is 00:12:52 And they go, wait, what, there were giants? All over the United States? Aaron, I appreciate that you know for a fact that in the future, 150 years in the future, scientists, archeologists, are gonna be so flippin' dumb, they're gonna see plastic bones and think they're real. Well, I'm saying they're gonna figure it out,

Starting point is 00:13:11 they're plastic very quickly, but I'm saying for a split second, they're gonna go, whoa! Whoa! They'll probably also be like, why did they do this? Because at that point, the bombs will have dropped, right? Like society will have collapsed because of the wars. And they'll be like, what were they doing?

Starting point is 00:13:26 They weren't making this? Like, shouldn't they have been like, uh-oh, we're growing food or something? Helping in any way. I think more likely is they're gonna dig up PT Cruisers and be like, oh, this is different than the rest. What went on here? They'll dig up a PT Cruiser and be like, OK, somebody

Starting point is 00:13:47 went off on this. You didn't have to go so hard, PT Cruiser. I guess some of them were fun. And then everybody turns to that scientist, and they shake their head. And they're like, wow, yikes. He don't get it. Speaking of guys that don't get it,

Starting point is 00:14:03 and I've already introduced myself, but I'm JPC and I have some riddles for you guys. Huh? Do you guys like to do riddles? Oh, I in my bones, I thought that Adil is about to be old man puzzles. And this feels like a huge shift. Yeah, he did have old man puzzles energy. What do we think? We think we just potted off on him. We think he does the riddles. So here's the first riddle.

Starting point is 00:14:25 I'm 100 foot tall at night, 100 foot tall in the morning. A penis. Wow, Aaron, that's such a good answer. It's a homo-dipo inflatable penis. Aaron, I feel like lately you've been a little bluer, and not just depressed because you've been that too, but I feel like you've been a little bluer.

Starting point is 00:14:44 Because I'm losing oxygen? been a little bluer, and not just depressed because you've been that too, but I feel like you've been a little bluer. Because I'm losing oxygen. So maybe there's three senses of the word that you've been bluer. I feel like you are not getting enough air. You've got the sands. I've got the sands. I just think you've been a little bit bluer.

Starting point is 00:15:00 I don't think that you would have been the first person to say penis on an episode, maybe ever. I think you're right. What's happened to me? Do you think that you would have been the first person to say penis on an episode, maybe ever. I think you're right. What's happened to me? Do you think that you're getting cooler? That doesn't feel right. Because a lot of times I feel like people have described like, like describing Aaron and I like, I know so many Aaron's, I'm like, I need the last name. And they're like, I don't know the last name. I'm like personality to describe. And then they start to describe like, I don't know, like, like a cloth or like a bedspread that's like soaked,

Starting point is 00:15:27 like drenched, you know, just holding a ton of water. Are you trying to call me a wet blanket? I would never say that! Am I an Aaron wet blanket in the community? I know, JPZ, she's doing it. Which Aaron? We took bets. I'm going out for lunch. What Aaron? Oh, like wet blanket Aaron? I know, JPZ, she's doing it. We took bets. Which Erin? I'm going out for lunch. It's what Erin.

Starting point is 00:15:45 Oh, like, wet blanket Erin? The one that's super boring and lame? You know what made me thinking, maybe it's wet bus Erin. Maybe that's it. No, that's Erin Udick. Yeah, that's- She's got top filling. When I think of wet bus, I think of Erin Udick,

Starting point is 00:16:02 who is a member of wet bus's girlfriend. Yeah. Okay, but no, enough of this. Prove them all wrong, Erin. Prove the haters wrong by doing really good at your rental podcast. The haters. Maybe you're sweating well, the best revenge. I think the sweater's making her blue.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Erin, aren't like, you would know this better than the other two of us. I'm so excited for this question. Isn't like one in 3,000 lobsters blue? Yeah, like it's like one in a million. JPC, Google it for us. JPC's our butler. I'm using my mint abilities to Google in my mind. It is one in every million lobsters.

Starting point is 00:16:37 That's what the new X-Men comics should be. It should just be Professor X Googling through his brain. God, aren't we all Googling through our brains in a certain way. That's a bit of a superpower. I'm a bit of a mutant when I get online. And JBC, I actually have a power where I can sense when someone's about to do a riddle.

Starting point is 00:16:58 Okay. That's so nice of you to say. It's so nice of you to say you have that power because I was actually about to do a riddle. Oh, and I guess I only have that power when I'm doing a riddle podcast and I'm not hosting. So I guess. Oh yeah, that makes sense.

Starting point is 00:17:12 I also have a lot of powers that only come into play when I'm doing a thing where the power would be useful. That was, honestly, that's best case scenario. I love the idea of like, hey, I'm basically Wolverine, but I have to be on the fourth rung of a ladder. If I'm on the fourth rung of a ladder, adamantium skeleton, regeneration abilities to the max.

Starting point is 00:17:35 If I'm anywhere else, dead immediately. I'm Cyclops, but only Monday through Friday, nine to five. Otherwise the laser eyes do not work. It's actually awesome because I can like spend the weekend with my kid but and it's genetic and being a mutant genetic so it's like genetically I'm genetically I'm like weakened brains they say I'm like weakened coded in my genetics. And the rest of the time I'm I'm Jubilee. Oh yeah me too we're all Jubilee on our downtime. Yeah. I recently that that X-Men, X-Men 97 show came out.

Starting point is 00:18:10 Holy shit. Okay, say what you want to say. But I also have something to say. Are you familiar with the show? I'm familiar with the old and the new. Okay. Yeah. Well, I guess X-Men 97 is the new one. But there was a yeah, I used to watch the old X-Men show. The old X-Men show, I only ever watched when it was on. I don't think I ever watched complete seasons or whatever.

Starting point is 00:18:30 I just would watch random episodes of it. But the new show, I started watching it. And then three episodes in, there's a lot of shit going on with I'm like, is this, was I meant to watch all of the other show before this show? And I don't think so. I think you can just kind of pick into it. But it does kind of pick up where the other show left off. So then I was like, well, maybe I'll go back and start watching these things.

Starting point is 00:18:54 But then I was like, even though there's not a ton of it, there's like five seasons of it. I'm like, there's no way. I just, I don't have the time to watch like one show anymore. Like, there's no way I'm gonna ever burn through all of these X-Men shows. So then I stopped watching X-Men 97, even though I was like, I like this show, this is fun. I will say it's the first four episodes, you're like, I like this, this is fun.

Starting point is 00:19:14 Exactly what you said. You're like, huh, this is bringing back memories. Episode five, un-fucking-believable. Episode eight, one of the best episodes of TV. Wow. I would say, I think I'm gonna go ahead and say one of the best episodes of TV animated or not. I would say. I don't really know much about the X-Men

Starting point is 00:19:33 and I feel like with superheroes in general, I have the same thing that keeps popping up where the rogue on the show was like flying. Rouge, but that's fine, go ahead. Whatever, she's flying, she's throwing buildings, she's like doing all this crazy stuff. And I like, what are her powers? I thought her powers were like to drain people's energy

Starting point is 00:19:58 from touching them or whatever. And then Mariah was like, no, she touched Captain Marvel and got all of Captain Marvel's powers, but then also Captain Marvel and got her powers back. And I was like, okay, it's too, I don't, I can't, the thing about comic books and comics in general is I can't know all this shit. I can't be aware of the history of how all these care.

Starting point is 00:20:18 There's like 80 years of history, and then it just- They retcon a lot. And then they retcon it all, there's like different plot lines. It's like, I can't be bothered with this shit. It's a lot. Yeah, it's just con a lot and then they retcon it all there's like different plot lines It's like I can't be bothered with it's a lot. Yeah, it's too much I would say sticker keep watching episode 5 is incredible and then episode 8 and also I should preface that I'm a huge fan of Nightcrawler night crawlers play my favorite X-Men and episode 8 is it does does nightcrawler good? like nightcrawler he's the one that

Starting point is 00:20:44 like takes pictures of like crime scenes But then he starts to like actually influence the crime scenes and like he's one of his best performances Kurt Wagner They say V's s W's we have to get some riddles in Yes, it's a riddle sir And if you listen to this episode and you're thinking Wow Aaron's Aaron's pretty quiet There's been pretty quiet for the last five minutes. Erin's not here, okay? She had to go.

Starting point is 00:21:08 She had to put on a different sweatshirt. All we saw, we saw a blue cloud of smoke. We saw the words bamf appear and then Erin was gone, so. Uh-huh, Badass Monday Friday. That is what's going on. But it doesn't matter, okay? Look, because we have riddles to do. And really now that there's only the two of us at it,

Starting point is 00:21:28 now it's me just kind of challenging you with riddles. I'm just like, I'm doing riddles directly to you. But it also means I can repeat these riddles that we do today on a future episode because they'll be new to Aaron. And if they're new to one, they're new to all. That's our slogan here on The Riddle Riddle. I don't know if you heard yourself.

Starting point is 00:21:44 You said, I'm going to do these riddles to you. And I think that is the mindset this podcast puts forward. I'm gonna do these riddles to you. When there's another person here, it feels, I mean, just way less personal, but right now it feels like a job interview. The job that you can get from this is not a job you never would.

Starting point is 00:22:02 I like the idea of job interview where it's like, what are your biggest strengths and weaknesses? Where do you see yourself in six years? And also two women go out for drinks on a Sunday afternoon. One of them dies, the other one does not. One glass had ice, the other did not. And you're like, what is this job? What am I applying for?

Starting point is 00:22:23 And I'm like, oh, it's four more years of high school. And you're like, no, wait, hold on. I don't want to do that. Teach riddles in high school, cowards. Yeah, they won't. They won't put riddles on the curriculum because they know it would make people too powerful. Just like the X-Men.

Starting point is 00:22:38 Just like the X-Men. OK, Addle. Yes. Here and listeners. Addle and listeners. Listeners, you're the surrogate. You're the surrogate this episode. You're the errands now, dog. Usually people have the curtain. You're not important, but today we need you more than ever. Here's your first riddle. I'm cute as a button. Aaron. Filled.

Starting point is 00:22:59 Okay, we can't keep talking about her. She's gone. You're right. She's gone, man. We can't keep talking about her. She's gone. Yeah, you're right. She's gone, man. We can't keep talking about her. Yeah. But yeah, the answer is Aaron. Okay. And I'm now looking, these riddles were sent in as a PDF. And sometimes when people send in riddles as a PDF, I don't prefer it, but I download the PDF.

Starting point is 00:23:21 But then I forget who sent the riddle in, because I've long since this months ago, I pulled this PDF. So I've long since forget. We'll just say Clark, it was probably a Clark. This is a rental from Clark. It's a series of rentals from Clark. Clark, thank you for putting them into this PDF.

Starting point is 00:23:35 That's too kind of you. That is more work than most people do. And you've got your just reward. Me not remembering who you are. And this was from 2018, so you probably don't listen anyway. So who fucking cares? This is for no one. It all worked out.

Starting point is 00:23:47 I'm cute as a button, filled with rings, music sings, visitor brings. Is this a doorbell? It is a doorbell. Wow. Elevator also maybe would have worked, I think. There's probably a workable solution in there for elevator, but a cute as a button, doorbell as a button, filled with rings there for elevator but a cues is a button doorbells a button filled with rings you

Starting point is 00:24:07 know obviously we all know doorbells ring yes music sings and a visitor camera brings a ring camera let's see what a ring camera work I'm cute as a button no sorry I do they're not cute this riddle has made me think the next time you're on an elevator and it stops on a floor that is not the floor you're getting off on, but it's opening for someone else, I think when the door opens and they're standing there, you should stand there, lean up against the side as if you live inside the elevator

Starting point is 00:24:35 and be like, can I help you? And when they're like, can I come in? You'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what did you want? Did you sign a petition? We all know the casual gesture that implies that you live there. It's your hand. And I live in my house.

Starting point is 00:24:49 I've always got my hand to get to the wall of my house. You kind of close the top of your bathrobe over your chest a little bit. You should always be- And clutch it there. If you're not wearing a bathrobe in an elevator, you're doing something wrong. You're doing it wrong.

Starting point is 00:25:01 Can I help you? And they're like, I just want to get on the... Here's the bit. If you're in an elevator and there's like full of people but you know, you can't be like there's not like 100 people in elevator. Let's say that there's like four people in this elevator. And the door opens on a floor that's not your floor. And it's not someone getting off it's like

Starting point is 00:25:16 someone getting on the elevator to the very specific situation. Someone gets on and as soon as the door opens you go hello. And then you turn around to the people behind you go, guys, what the fuck? We practiced this. I thought like. Hello. I also like doing the lean up against the door thing

Starting point is 00:25:35 and being like, yeah. And they're like, I wanna, I wanna. And then you just turn and scream, Sarah, he's here. Ma, somebody here for ya. I think this is a good bit. You describe whatever they're wearing, you're like, ma, it looks like some sort of doctor's here. I'm assuming you're in an elevator because you're in a hospital. That's the only thing that makes any sense to me. Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:25:58 Okay, Adol, are you ready for your next riddle? Yes, please. Okay, here we go. If a lumberjack yells timber when a tree is cut down, what does the tree yell? This one I think is just tailor-made for you. This is like one where it's like perfect that we don't have Aaron because like, this is an adult one for sure.

Starting point is 00:26:18 Wow. I assume that it has something to do with platter flannel. Oh, interesting. No, no, that would be a good assumption for me being like this is an at all one, but it's it's I think it's more because of your... Puntery? ...your brain than your trappings. So, my good sir, my brain is my trappings. Mine look like steel trappings.

Starting point is 00:26:44 The lumberjack yells timber. What does the tree yell? So, my good sir, my brain is my trappings. So the- Mine look like a steel trappings. The lumberjack yells timber, what does the tree yell? Yeah, if a lumberjack yells timber when a tree is cut down, what does the tree yell when it's cut down? Ah, my fucking legs, ah. Oh, interesting. My waist. You would think that that's the legs of the tree,

Starting point is 00:27:02 because I think like the roots of the tree are the legs, so that part's still there, you know? It's the waist, you're right, it's the waist. that's the legs of the tree? Cause I think like the roots of the tree are the legs. That part's still there. You're right, it's the waste. It's the waste. Yeah. But then in that case, trees are like big torso tall, right? Oh yeah. Although have you seen like photographs of like

Starting point is 00:27:19 the imaging of trees underground, like what their root structures look like? Yeah, they're all tangled together. They're whispering secrets underground. They're holding hands with the trees in the neighborhood? Oh no, that's so lovely. What a lovely thought. All the trees on the street holding hands together

Starting point is 00:27:35 underground. Oh wait, there's a, we just image searched and there's a pentagram in the middle of the dirt. Nope, they're in a summoning circle. Uh oh, uh oh, and the devil, and the devil's here. The trees have run upon the Elzimoth. Yeah, the dirt. Nope, they're in a summoning circle. Uh oh, uh oh, and the devil, and the devil's here. The trees have run upon the Elzimoth. It's the trevel. Yeah, the trevel.

Starting point is 00:27:50 Every creature has its own, the devil. And here's where Erin would say, we got trevel right here in the city. She'd do the whole song. And maybe we'll see if we can get, Casey, just send Erin an email asking if she'll just record that part solo so we can put that in a post. Just say trees equal devil, equal music band. We'll just see what she does with that. She'll know what to do.

Starting point is 00:28:09 She'll know what to do. What do trees yell? Yeah, when they're cut down. So this is gonna be a pun. Yes. Oh boy. I, fell, I fell, I don't,

Starting point is 00:28:23 I didn't change, I didn't change... see that coming. Yeah. Uh... timber... timber... This is also Adol. Yes. What you might yell when you're through with this riddle. What you yell... Thank God.

Starting point is 00:28:41 A tree getting chopped out of being like, finally! I've been... I've been growing here for years. And miles to go before I sleep. Looking at his own rings being like, holy, that took some time. If you were alive for 329 years and you couldn't go anywhere, I'd be like, just cut me down. Yeah, I think so. I think that's... You know what also really sucks for a tree?

Starting point is 00:29:06 Trees live, I don't know, 100 years, 80 years, 90 years. I have no idea how long a tree lives. Trees live a long time. Sure. Depending. Depending. And then to one day get struck by lightning? You're like, I gotta be the unluckiest motherfucker in the world! But also, a lot of my people are getting struck by like someone might want to look into this is there any way the trees to get a house so that we're not like constantly getting struck by lightning oh my gosh

Starting point is 00:29:33 DPC what are what are trees houses made out of oh humans gotta be human bones gotta be human it's gotta be if I ever walk out my door and I see the tree in my front yard has just a human bone house surrounding it, I'm gonna say, travel. That's the tree devil. The tree devil is here. Travel. He walks among us.

Starting point is 00:29:51 They use Home Depot skeletons to build their houses. It only makes sense. It only makes sense. This is what you would say when you're done with this riddle. It's also the thing that a tree would yell when it's cut down. I got it. We're done with that. I was rooting for you.

Starting point is 00:30:09 Uh, I need to... Oh, wow. With the puns, with rooting for you, you're close, but like, what's another thing that is the remnant of a tree? I'm stumped. I'm stumped! Wow.

Starting point is 00:30:20 The tree says, I'm stumped. And do you get it now? Do you see? Do you finally see? And literally in this exact moment, JBC, I think I just realized why I think it's Portland has Stumptown coffee. And I think I think I just realized logging industry, Oregon and Washington state have a lot of timber

Starting point is 00:30:45 and logging industries. That's probably why they call it Stumptown. It's because they cut down all the forests to pave the way for Portland to be residential. I did not know that it was called Stumptown, but that's like a nickname for, I've never been to Portland, so I was not aware that it was called Stumptown.

Starting point is 00:31:04 It's called Stumptown, huh? I don't know if that's a a nickname for, I've never been to Portland. So I was not aware that that was called Stumptown. It's called Stumptown, huh? I don't know if that's a city's nickname, but there's a coffee place called Stumptown Coffee and I believe it's in Portland. I could be wrong. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. Recently, we did on the Patreon, we did a Penguin Baseball and my team was the Naptown Road Warriors.

Starting point is 00:31:22 And a lot of people were, thought that Naptown was a place thatown Road Warriors. And a lot of people thought that Naptown was a place that I made up. But I was like, that is just, that is like an established nickname for Indianapolis. Because it's Nap. Nap-o-less. The nasty nap, Naptown. The nasty nap.

Starting point is 00:31:36 So it's, I think people were confused because everyone else had a real city and I had like a, I think they thought that my team. It's like a little Nemo land. Oh, Nap Town. Yeah, well, my team was also slightly, and I don't want to say how, but they were slightly different from the rest of the teams. But so I do think,

Starting point is 00:31:53 I do think that people thought that mine just existed in some sort of like fantasy world, which I think is very funny. I like that. If anything though, the Boston Waddlers little guy, that was the one that looks like you would have been from Nap Town because he looks so sleepy.

Starting point is 00:32:05 He looks so sleepy. And that hat was too big for his head. It looks like it'd go over his eyes and he'd forget what he was doing and just fall asleep on his feet. I do hate, I will say I do hate. Me? Not hate, hate's a strong word.

Starting point is 00:32:17 I loathe, that's better. Wow. I loathe when people say shy town. I don't, unless you're from here. I think if you're from here and that's, if, because I didn't grow up here. I spent a lot of time here. I didn't grow up here.

Starting point is 00:32:31 But if you're from here, you call Chi town great. But I feel like it's mostly tourists who are like, I'm in Chi town. And I was like, we don't say that. I don't think we say that. I don't know that a lot of, I don't hear Chi town. It's like Chi rack. I don't hear these like, you know,

Starting point is 00:32:44 other nicknames for Chicago very often. We call it bean town. It's like Chi-rac. I don't hear these like, you know, other nicknames for Chicago very often. We call it Bean Town. I would just say Chicago. I would say Bean Town because we have the bean. We got the bean. And no other city I think has that claim. Let me Google it with my Professor X telepathic ability. Yeah, no, we're in the clear. It's in Cerebro. I also think that when people call it the Windy City too, I'm like, that to me is so funny because it's like what are we the only city with wind we're not It's for politicians. It's for politicians. Whatever. But what are we the only city with politicians?

Starting point is 00:33:14 Like come on, are we the only city with the lake effect? I went saw I went saw Eurovision winning Icelandic band Doughty Friday, I hire you They were, one, they were fantastic. But the lead singer kept saying, and he's like seven foot tall, so you have to listen when he talks. He kept saying, I saw this as called the city of big shoulders. Why?

Starting point is 00:33:36 I guess everyone's shoulders look big. Is it because everyone here has big shoulders? And he just made a meal out of that. And I did stop and I was like, I think it's because we're blue you know we're a blue collar hard work hard working people. I hope you fucking booed that guy. You're not from here you don't understand Chicago. Forget about it. I'm walking here Chicago. No unfortunately the Chicago voice is not like it feel like the New York voice is like

Starting point is 00:34:05 tough but like the Chicago accent is it's actually a lot like higher pitched like it's like Chicago Chicago Chicago get some bags. Okay, well hey, at all. You're stumped. And I hope that the listeners were stumped as well. But now it's time for us all to take a little stunt break and go refill our stumps. I lost it. I lost it. I had something and I absolutely lost it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Starting point is 00:34:37 Adol, JPC, I am a mind reader now. I can read your mind and predict things about you. Hmm, prove it. What am I thinking about right now? French fries. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's right. Great. Now I'm thinking about French fries. It seems like I bet that you two have subscriptions

Starting point is 00:34:57 you've forgotten about. I bet you've signed up for free trials of things and forgotten to go back and cancel or just forget that you have subscriptions to streaming services that you're no longer using. Is that correct? Oof, we did just on the way over here, sign up for frenchfries.com.

Starting point is 00:35:15 Yeah, it's like a monthly, they send you french fries in the mail from all over the France. All over the France. Well, don't fear, you can now use Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. And I'll tell you a little secret about me. I've been using Rocket Money way before they became a sponsor of the show. Wait, now I'm reading Aaron's mind. Aaron, are you thinking that Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million

Starting point is 00:35:46 And cancelled subscriptions saving members up to seven hundred forty dollars a year when using all of the apps features How did you do that? I'm the mind reader. Okay, I'm gonna put it myself in rocket money I'm just gonna go over some of the okay So it can show me all my subscriptions in one place and if I see something I don't want it can help me cancel it in A few taps. Let's see. What do I have here? place and if I see something I don't want it can help me cancel in a few taps. Let's see what do I have here? FreshFries.com, FrenchFries.com, OnlineFriesNow.com, OrderMyFries.com, WaffleTaters.org? Rate My Salt?

Starting point is 00:36:16 What could that be? Oh, it's a French Fry website. Okay, cool. Well, JPC is reading these. I will tell you that Rocket Money can even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll deal with customer service for you. It's like having a personal assistant. It's amazing.

Starting point is 00:36:34 And I don't want to deal with customer service because all of these services I'm using are French. And that's all I'll say. That's all I'll say about that. But if we've ever dealt with French customer service before, I I'll say. That's all I'll say about that. But if we've ever dealt with fridge customer service before, that's all I'll say. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

Starting point is 00:36:59 Well Erin, you saved me some money. Should we all go get some fries? You read my mind. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi, welcome to my yard sale. Feel free to look around. Let me know if you have any questions. I have some BetterHelp in a cooler here if anybody needs any. Oh, you have BetterHelp, the online therapy BetterHelp in a cooler? Yeah, that's right. Better help the online therapy, better help in a cooler? Yeah, that's right.

Starting point is 00:37:24 Oh cool, it's like entirely online and designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to my schedule. So I can sort of like message my therapist anytime and get a timely response from them? Yep, you just fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with licensed therapists, you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge, all that is right in my icebox here, my little cooler. Oh my gosh! Huh, my little cooler. Oh my gosh. It's terrible. And it's BetterHelp.

Starting point is 00:37:48 It's the service BetterHelp, right? The one I'm thinking of, it uses online therapy as a safe space to get things off your chest and kind of figure out whatever's going on with you, kind of giving you an opportunity to talk through that. And that's the service BetterHelp. Yeah, it's located inside the cooler here. But yeah, look around.

Starting point is 00:38:04 Look around, we have some books, we have clothes. I mean, I use BetterHelp? Yeah, it's located inside the cooler here. But yeah, look around, look around. We have some books, we have clothes. I mean, I use BetterHelp and it's the best therapy I've ever had because it works totally. I don't have to drive anywhere. I don't have to stress about it. Huh, okay. That's great. And I guess if, you know, for anyone who's listening, because there's some people here

Starting point is 00:38:22 at the yard sale, I guess I would say to everyone who's kind of here at the yard sale You could give better help a try if you're trying to get into therapy Get it off your chest with better help visit better help comm slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month That's better help H-e-l-p dot-com slash riddle actually open the core. I have I have bottled water dot com slash rebel. Actually, I open the core. I have I have bottled water. Oh, OK, that's where the confusion was.

Starting point is 00:38:47 I see. I see. I guess we'll take some of these pants with the butt blown out. Better help. I'm so much better. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'll do busy. Come over here quick. I created a hilarious new website. Oh, Squarespace.

Starting point is 00:39:04 Yeah, you Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online? Is that what you used, Erin? Oh, big time. I used Squarespace and it was super intuitive and easy. Okay, super intuitive and easy. Sounds like my Friday night.

Starting point is 00:39:19 Well, I got JPCisold.com and it's a website totally dedicated to how old JPC is. Finally! Okay. The albatross is off my neck and onto another's. I'm looking at JPCisold.com and I'm noticing that it also has flexible payments, which it also says in parentheses things that JPC can't do. I guess it's a crack at me being old and not flexible.

Starting point is 00:39:43 But it looks like it makes checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools, except in credit cards, PayPal and Apple Pay, and in eligible countries offers customers the option to buy now and pay later with after pay and clear pay. And I can sell exclusive content on my site by adding a paywall to sell memberships or courses. I teach a class on how to best call you old. It's awesome.

Starting point is 00:40:06 It's already sold out. Yeah, and it looks like they also offer video collections. JPC Video, it's sort of like drawings, when you flip through drawings really fast with your thumb. Yeah. You can upload video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages. Aaron, I gotta say, this is a beautiful website and I wish it was happening to anybody else.

Starting point is 00:40:28 But it's happening to you. And if you want it to happen to you, wait, hold on, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. JPC's old. So old. riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. JPC's old. So old. Hit me to break the wall.

Starting point is 00:40:56 And we're back. OK. Back we're back. More riddles, please, steady. More riddles, please. And hey, maybe even some scenes. I don't know if we did. I think it would've been fun if we had done a scene in the I don't think we did a scene in the first half

Starting point is 00:41:07 Janet, did we do any scenes in the first half? I don't think we did. I don't think we did. No, Janet played. No. No Were you that squirrel that had uh, tons of scenes in this one? Tons of scenes in this half. Great. Okay. Okay. Okay I'm not far behind you. I'm inside your eye. Oh if you knew my name You'd have to say why. You saw me the last, fourth of July. Rumpelshitskin? What's his name? Wait a minute. Now, obviously this is, you know, we're deep into the episode,

Starting point is 00:41:37 so we don't really need a warmup. We can kind of just get thrown right into some like real riddle-ass riddles here, so. I'm in your eye. I'm inside, so. I'm in your eye. I'm inside your eye. I'm inside your eye. You know this is gonna be a, what are the letters in these words, right?

Starting point is 00:41:52 Oh. Got to be, got to be. And Janet. I know that July has a Y in it, and so does your eye. Okay. And Janet. You know that, Janet. Get that on. You know that for sure. No, wait, now I'm questioning it. Now I'm questioning it. No, you have have to lock in am I speaking English right now

Starting point is 00:42:08 help me am I speaking English right now I can't I can't I'm disassociating the the next part after your eyes said something about like you'd have to say why so if you knew my name you'd have to say why yeah as a jar you is that is this one of those gross like oh oh, it was right in the, Kaiser Soze is just on the fricking, oh. Yes, this one is absolutely Kaiser Soze. The answer is built into the riddle itself and it's just the letter Y.

Starting point is 00:42:37 The call is coming from inside the riddle. The letter is Y, correct. Is it a stigmatizzi? Not this time, Riddle. It's a stigmatizzi. Okay, I do wanna see a quick scene. So Adel, not this time, Riddle. It's a stigmatizzi. OK, I do want to see a quick scene. So Addle, you're going to be playing an eye doctor. And Janet, you're going to be, we'll say,

Starting point is 00:42:51 like a teen, like a young person going to the eye doctor. And you're trying to dress up all of your eye doctor things to be cool for the youth, Addle. OK. OK, great. I love that there's just now like an ongoing like, Adol is associated with things that aren't cool. Like outtakes.

Starting point is 00:43:11 I think that fits. I think that happens. He said stigmatizzi. He said stigmatizzi. Yeah, I did it to myself. You did do it to yourself. I knew what I was walking into. The call was coming from inside the Adol.

Starting point is 00:43:19 Okay. All right, great. Hey, hey, come on in and why don't you stand over here where I've written business on the floor? Stand on business. Alyssa at the front desk said that I was start, I needed to call you Dr. Specs, like with an X. Oh, that's what Atrane said?

Starting point is 00:43:38 Yeah, I mean, it's whatever. Alyssa, but yeah, I'm okay, cool. Okay, Dr. Specs. Okay. And what's your name? Okay, so I'm standing. What's your, dr. Specks. Okay. Um, okay, so I'm standing You what's your handle seeing you for five years? Darlene, I know but I said could you come in with like a fun new nickname? Oh

Starting point is 00:43:56 dar dar Lizzie Perfect. Yeah, Darla's Oh Darla Darla Liz. Oh, hey, thank you so much for Quick dab. Oh smack myself at the face real hard. Oh, I got to swap out my glasses here. Oh, whoops. Whoops, whoops, whoops. And let's get your... Oh, sorry. Just got... Okay, let's get your Vizzy Wizzied and... My what?

Starting point is 00:44:18 You can get your vision... Well, Wizzia, I don't know what I was going for with that, but your vision, Wizzified. Okay, Wizzy, I don't know what I was going for with that, but your vision, uh, was verified. Um, so let's, okay. Oh my God. Do I have to sit on this chair backwards? It's like facing the wrong direction now.

Starting point is 00:44:33 I have to like sit on it and like lean on the back of the chair. We I don't know if you saw, there's a photographer in the corner. We're doing, oh, I saw we're doing photos for a new pamphlet. So if you could just make this look really cool. oh cool cool pamphlet photos really really really excited Um, and I got these if you just look into this Bose speaker at some point The bass is gonna hit so hard that it's gonna puff some air in your eye the base of the Okay, are you eyes is that are you gonna get the information you need? That's not like medical equipment. Um, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:45:09 I think I'm the doctor here. I'm the MD, MCMD. If I could just quickly voice my concern, and Dr. Speck, I'm not saying, I mean, I'm not a doctor, but my concern is either the medical equipment that you should have is not here, and that concerns me because I have a genuine interest in eye health, or the stuff that you were using was bullshit, and it doesn't matter that you're using a Bose speaker now, and that's also troubling. Ah. Well, I don't know if you noticed, I got a big bowl of freeze-dried airheads. That's what all the kids are doing these days So I understand your concerns. I do hear them out loud and you're keeping it toy I shouldn't say that to women

Starting point is 00:45:54 So if you just want to grab an airhead to have a seat backwards, that would be great Alright, so I also have some we'll skip the speaker test for now, but I have some words Dr. Specks. Oh, I didn't see. I might be a little early for my appointment. Yikes. I'm actually late for something, so I don't mind. I can, I'll leave.

Starting point is 00:46:16 Please don't follow me. Knocks airheads onto the ground so that they're, like, you can't follow because there's marbles on the floor, essentially. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You'll never get me, weirdo! Oh, I don't know what that was all about, but I guess it's time for my eye exam. OK, why don't you go over here and stand on business?

Starting point is 00:46:36 Whatever's clever, homeboy. Wait a minute. Are we getting this? See, are we getting this? You looking to the photographer at the corner of the room. Hey Chuck, it's me, Specs, your cousin. You know that cool youth language we were looking for? Oh God, I think maybe five years ago,

Starting point is 00:47:00 I could have been like, okay, I could do my impression of youth language, and now, no, not even a chip. Not even a fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no. Stand on business. Yeah. What else?

Starting point is 00:47:12 The only thing I- Stand on business, that's new? Stand on business is big, and on-site, I think those are pretty big. On-site is back? Oh, on-site's back. Last year, the word of the year, by some stuffy, I don't know if it was like the New York Times or something, named the word of the year by some stuffy, I don't know, it was like the New York Times or something named the word of the year Riz,

Starting point is 00:47:29 which instantly made it probably something no child or young person will ever use again. Yeah. Right. I mean, you can't assign something word of the year that grownups are going to be like, oh, I'll have to start using it. I feel like like, yeah, Riz is in a category where it was as soon as most people found out about what Riz was, it stopped being it stopped being able to be used. Yeah, correct. Yes. A lot of these words can only hear about it. Yeah, they can only exist in like, the, you know, a strict subset of the youth culture. And then once they've expanded past that they're gone. They're, they gone. They're sour, they're spoiled.

Starting point is 00:48:06 But do we have stuff like that that didn't last at all? Like that isn't, you know what I mean? Like, do we have stuff that just had a really short shelf life? Cause I'm trying to think of, I mean, I feel like most stuff is like, I could still get away with using it, you know? I think that, at least in my experience, because I was on,

Starting point is 00:48:26 like, I, you know, was born before social media. And like social media hit in a kind of a bigger way, like late high school, early college was like when, like, back then, like Facebook was still like invite only when I was still in high school. So, you know, so I kind of grew up without it. But before that, I felt like a lot of culture was transmitted to us through media. So it would come through on high. I remember, you know the Budweiser frog, the waza.

Starting point is 00:48:53 That was so big, but we had to get it from Budweiser. You couldn't just have your dumb friend say waza and then it would go to a different high school. That just wasn't possible. And there's also things that were just sort of in the ether where it's like the, when you're- We love doing ether. When you're even younger, where it's like jingle bells,

Starting point is 00:49:13 Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. I never heard that anywhere, except from someone at the playground from a neighboring town or something. And you're like, oh, this is our little secret. And then you go somewhere else and you're like, you also have this? How is this spreading?

Starting point is 00:49:27 And nowadays that's how everything spreads is just in this little youth vacuum. Yeah, and the social media thing can just make it spread so much faster. So I do think that we don't have the same generation. And I think that the words and the res of it all is being generated at a speed that we we our brains can't even fucking comprehend. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:48 By the time it by the time it no pun intended drips down to us. I guess that's not even puns just saying one of the words they used to use by the time it drips down to us. It is already out of fashion with the youth I believe by the time adults say ironically to be like hee hee hee, I think the youth is like we no longer, nobody says that. And I do like saying drips, because I believe it's drip is what they say, but to say drips is also to like misunderstand the term in a way that I'm like, whoa, look at his drips. We got an STD.

Starting point is 00:50:18 Raw drips, am I right? No, you're wrong. Yeah, this new song just dripped. It is awesome. What a Riz beat. Gets in the coffin, somehow nails it shut from the inside. That should be a new phrase, get in a coffin. Yeah, God, I don't want anyone to use

Starting point is 00:50:44 get in the coffin on me because I feel like I'm about at the age where a 17 year old can tell me to get in the coffin and it will ruin my week. What about get busy living or get busy coffin? I guess then you would just start coughing. That's different, that's different. It's so hard to tell in this drip down culture of ours. Yeah, this culture truly is dripping with riz.

Starting point is 00:51:05 We have another riddle here. This riddle is 14 and 22. Yellow fading into blue. What should be mine belongs to you. Wow. Hmm, what to do with this? Now I'm already, now I'm like, is this gonna be another letter, a specific letter?

Starting point is 00:51:26 And we know it is, but this one's at least harder. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N is 14. 14 is N. 14, 22, work backwards, quick, can you do it? Yeah, go backwards. 22, yeah. From the end of the alphabet. How many letters can there possibly be?

Starting point is 00:51:44 35? Okay, Z. Yeah. From the end of the alphabet. How many letters can there possibly be? 35? Okay. Z. Yeah. Yeah, go slower. R. No. I always thought, I don't know if, and this is never something that I personally experienced, but I had heard like the field sobriety tests that they would give where they would tell you to go through the alphabet backwards. And I always heard that, like driver's ed and stuff, I would hear that. And I'm like, I couldn't fucking do that.

Starting point is 00:52:09 Oh, absolutely not. I've had the exact same thought. There's no way I could get through that. I couldn't get through the last. I couldn't even get to 22. How's it going? You got any updates for us? But also, that's like a bullshit test,

Starting point is 00:52:22 and it would be thrown out of court because that's not a sobriety. You can't use that to test someone's sobriety. It's like an insane metric. But I think that they would more often use that test as a pretense to be like okay now we're gonna take your blood or whatever. Yeah. That you would be like that if they said that you should do that and you're like oh I can't I'm too drunk. Hold that just a second. Yeah like gotcha. It should be something more in this like I swear it should be like you have to get out of the car, please stand over there, and I need you to do either two to three bars from the song Bye Bye Bye

Starting point is 00:52:51 or the dance from the music video. And that's how we know. And it's something where it's in the zeitgeist, it's in everyone's DNA somehow. We all know that somehow. You have to just do the melody to any weekend song. You don't need to know the words. And then it's, and then it's, and then it's, and then it's.

Starting point is 00:53:07 That's fine. If I can Shazam it, and it's gonna come up as the weekend. Oh no, wait, you can't Shazam. There's no way you can Shazam someone singing a song. There's no way. No, you're right. But they should have that. That should exist.

Starting point is 00:53:20 That's what we should invent. That's what the kids want. Shazam 2. Wait, that came out last year. So Janet, sorry, JBC, butt up for a minute. Some table talk here. Janet, the 22nd, I think he said 14 and 22. Yeah, he did.

Starting point is 00:53:37 The 22nd is V. So envy is Nevada's. There's something about gold, right? Oh, it could just be envy. Wait a minute, that's envy. You did, you solved it. You went too far. But it could be Reno. Come back, I'm back. That's envy. Oh, we're yellow meets blue. You solved it. You went too far. Come back, Adel.

Starting point is 00:53:46 Come back, I'm back here. Adel. The biggest little city in the world. Adel, grab this rope. Adel, take this rope. I see something. Do you think it's the word envy or do you think it's Reno?

Starting point is 00:53:54 I mean, I need your answer. I think it's where blue meets yellow. I think it's Reno, because that's where like Mead hits the desert. How many times have you inadvertently solved a riddle where you fully said the solution as you are quickly pushing past it to get to something more obscure?

Starting point is 00:54:12 I love the idea. Without Janet here, it's like I'm first place for the marathon and I break through the tape and then I run to the next town over and Janet's like, no, you won. You got the... Yeah, the marathon ended here. There's a, no, you won, you got the... Yeah, the merit that I did here,

Starting point is 00:54:26 there's a clear finish line, it's delineated and everything. You crossed it, people took your photos, there's the confetti cannons going in the air, and then you just kept running. I do wanna see a scene. JPC, you are a blackjack dealer in Reno, Nevada. Janet, you're playing the table, you're at this blackjack table. It's only you, and. Janet, you're playing the table. You're at this blackjack table.

Starting point is 00:54:45 It's only you. And GBC, you're a dealer who's getting pretty envious of Janet's winning streak. Is the seat taken? Hit me. Well it's not taken. Someone did just leave their cards to go get a drink. I won't stay here long. I'm in the middle of a big marathon. No, it's okay. I have to hit because that's... Okay, 21.

Starting point is 00:55:08 Blackjack. So you just won this gentleman, Blackjack. And of course I have to hit and so I bust. Yeah, I bust. So congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. You could probably take like half, I guess, is fair or...

Starting point is 00:55:21 Do you want to keep playing? You know what? I'll just hold on to the chips and you know when the guy comes back we'll just they'll follow what they may. Okay yeah I love it here. Well um. God you're holding on to your deck of cards really tightly like your your knuckles are a little white.

Starting point is 00:55:41 Yeah. Why are you okay? No it's just like there's a lot of cheaters here and scammers, not only that, like, you know that the trick where like, you go into a gas station with like a 50 and you like make them break it. And then by the end of the, you exchanging the money,

Starting point is 00:55:56 like they've got, you know, $70. Yeah. That happens with my cards all the time. And then they'll come by and count my decks and they'll be like, there's 46 cards to this deck. Like what happened, Jerome? Like where did these other six cards go? And I was like six.

Starting point is 00:56:08 So you're saying the house is the victim. No. At this casino. I'm saying Jerome is the victim at this casino. Oh, sorry, Jerome. Yeah, I mean the house is against me, if anything. Like I know I'm supposed to be representing them, but I get docked $6 for every card that's missing

Starting point is 00:56:23 from my deck at the end of a shift and it's always a lot Wow, yeah Are you playing with are you as the cards are disappearing? Are you playing with the same deck like and when does your shift let and because I feel like I'm gonna be in much better Shape if I come towards the end of your shift. Yeah, I do eight hours I do eight hour shift so I get 15 minute to 15 minute breaks and 130 minute lunch and then it's eight hours on from there. And I take the cards with me on break

Starting point is 00:56:49 because I realized I was leaving them behind a lot and I come back and they would be completely gone. And then if I have to go to the shop, Ricky charges me $80 for a new pack of cards. Because he says, Jerome, you're always losing cards. These are, you know, they're flying off the shelf. We have to leave some for the guests to buy Yeah, I love that whole store though that card that card holster is pretty tough looking. That's cool a little bit of an outlaw

Starting point is 00:57:12 Thank you so much. This is a gun holster. It's a gun holster. I just put cards in it and Hit me Hey, I have your consent to know we're playing we're playing the game. Okay 21 Wow one card You didn't just put it you didn't just put an ace on the table right that was there on the table before I have your consent to... No, we're playing, we're playing the game. Okay, 21, wow, one card. You didn't just put an ace on the table, right? That was there on the table before. Do you mind if I count my cards really quick? The ace was on the table.

Starting point is 00:57:32 I do mind, you're gonna have to go ahead and give me... I won. You won, so okay, so I'll pay you out, there you go. And I only have two cards left in my deck. Do you wanna play again? Hit me. Okay, blackjack. Oh boy, and I have no cards left for myself, Do you want to play again? Hit me. Okay, blackjack.

Starting point is 00:57:45 Oh boy, and I have no cards left for myself so I guess I don't get to even try to play? Oh, Jerome, what is it? I feel like, you are lucky. You are one lucky goose, I'll tell you that much. Thank you. This has been the most fortuitous accidental I ended up in a city instead of being out along the side of Lake Tahoe for my marathon of all time. I guess I'll just cash out.

Starting point is 00:58:12 You've by now forgotten that someone else started the game, right? Oh, fully, yeah. Great. Fully, fully, fully. Great. Poor Jerome. Poor Jerome.

Starting point is 00:58:22 He can't win, the house is not behind him. I think Ricky's taking advantage of him because $80 is way too much to pay for a deck of cards. Yeah, he'd go somewhere else. I do like the idea that the dealers have to play with their own money, where it's like, I am getting rocked today. Yeah, it's like, the odds are still good.

Starting point is 00:58:42 Like, I still have the odds here, but I'm playing with my own money, so it just the odds are still good. Like it's still, I still have the odds here. Yeah. But I'm playing with my own money. So it just makes it so much harder. Every once in a while. The players are gonna heat up. I almost said audience is gonna heat up. Honestly. Everything's a show to you.

Starting point is 00:58:56 Everything's a show. Hey, Janet in Reno, everything is a show. That's a good point. Tell me you've never been to Reno. That tell me you've never been to Reno. Ever been to Reno, Janet? you've never been to Reno, without telling me you've never been to Reno. Ever been to Reno, Janet? I've never been to Reno.

Starting point is 00:59:09 Wait, what was I supposed to do? I'll tell you without telling you. I have everything I need. I've never been to Reno. Have you ever been to Laughlin, Nevada? Mm-hmm. You have? I've not, no.

Starting point is 00:59:24 It's like on, is it, what is it, it's on a river. Is it on the Colorado River? What river is it on? I can't, I went, I used to live in Las Vegas and we would go to Laughlin, but I can't recall what body of water is there. I don't know, do you remember what you would go for? My memory of Laughlin is that it,

Starting point is 00:59:39 yeah, wait, what would you go for? Yeah, like what is in Laughlin? Just more gambling? Is that near Hoover Dam maybe? That's awesome. I think it gambling? Near Hoover Dam maybe? That's awesome. I think it might be near Hoover Dam, but my memory of it is that it is definitely like sort of like take all the glitz and glamour out of Vegas and just leave the sad gambling

Starting point is 00:59:56 and then put a river next to it. And that's what I remember of Laughlin. And I remember like the last time I was there was so long ago. I feel like I might have been in college, I'm not sure, but I went and like walked into a casino and immediately got a nosebleed. Like I had no idea. From the stress of odds or what?

Starting point is 01:00:17 This can't be good, yeah. Just immediate, like walked in, the air was dry, I don't know, but I was like, I don't think this is a good, and I'm sure everyone around me was like, that's a really bad omen. It's funny because when people think like gambling or they think casino, they think Las Vegas,

Starting point is 01:00:33 you think like one of these huge buildings, all these slot machines, dealers, poker tournaments, roulette, like all of this stuff. But like most gambling, well, most gambling nowadays is like done on your phone for like sports games and shit. But I remember in Illinois, like I think it's like outside of Chicago in like suburban Illinois at all.

Starting point is 01:00:52 Maybe you can help me if you've experienced this as well. But like slot machines are like in restaurants and shit. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because I remember driving around and getting lunch at a place and I walked into this place and they were just like it was I Was it was I was working a job where I was doing a lot of driving when I first moved here to Chicago And there was just like a bunch of sad people sitting in front of slot machines in Illinois

Starting point is 01:01:14 Just like a gambling during their lunch breaks and I was like, yeah what the fuck like this is awful Like what is this it? unromanticizes gambling where Vegas romanticizes it when you go to small town USA and there's even in Alaska. I had never seen this before. They have a bunch of like halls designated for poll tabs, which I don't even know really what a poll tab is. I think it's like a lottery ticket, but instead of scratching, you ink on a little tab or something. I don't know. But it's gambling.

Starting point is 01:01:44 But it is really sad to see people just keep, they're like 10 more. Do their thing 10 more, do their thing 10 more. Like it's really sad. It's the thing where it's like, you think like smoking is so romantic. If you think about like a Parisianer, like at nighttime at a cafe,

Starting point is 01:02:01 or you think of like a cowboy, like rolling a cigarette on the open plains. And giving you a little smile with his yellow teeth. Most smoking is just like eight people crowding around a heat lamp in the dead of cold winter, all just like chain smoking. And you're like, oh no, this is actually not, this isn't like sexy and fun.

Starting point is 01:02:22 Yeah, there's thought machines, if you change planes in Vegas, even in like just tiny terminals, there's like a rows of slot machines where you just quickly go and spend a bunch of money before you go on a plane with. I do, I do love that because you're in Vegas. It's like putting the McDonald's

Starting point is 01:02:41 in like the coat room of a really nice restaurant. Like you're like, you're here to eat, right? How about a quick double cheeseburger? Like, your table is gonna be 30 minutes before you wait then there's like, they could do the whole bread or water thing. You could suck down a cheeseburger right now. How about that?

Starting point is 01:02:58 Suck down. Look, I've sucked down many a cheeseburger in my day. I know, it's fun. Okay, here we go. Again, could not tell you how many, what's the one was last time I ate down many a cheeseburger in my day. I know, it's fun. Okay, here we go. Again, could not tell you how many, when was the last time I ate a McDonald's cheeseburger? Wait, really? Well, no, you said eight,

Starting point is 01:03:12 but when was the last time you sucked one down? When did I suck one down? Yesterday. Yeah, I sucked one down yesterday. I blunted. Sucking on chili dogs? I can tell you the last time I ate a McDonald's cheeseburger because I was probably 14, because that was the last time that I ate a piece of meat.

Starting point is 01:03:25 And I used to love McDonald's cheeseburgers. I associate McDonald's cheeseburgers with looking like they've already been sat on before. Oh yeah. That's part of it, I guess. Yeah. I smelled someone else's McDonald's the other day and I kind of got a little queasy and I thought, huh.

Starting point is 01:03:41 Huh. How far we've come. Used to love sucking these things down. People say sucking down, right? No, you can't say that anymore. Just this episode. I don't think it's gonna be, yeah, you won't be able to get through this episode

Starting point is 01:03:55 without sucking down some food. In a lot of rural America, you know, the matriarch or patriarch of the family will make dinner and then they'll ring a little dinner bell and they're like, all right, everyone, suck it down. Suck it down, suck it down, suck it down. Do shoot on the line, suck it down, suck it down, suck it down. Suck it down.

Starting point is 01:04:12 All right, I think we have a couple more of these riddles left, so we'll go with this one. This is, I enter hand in hand, yet seen with no one. And by the time you know I'm there, I'm passed. Okay, I have a problem with most of the grammar that was in this riddle. Yes, and the grammar is important for the answer to the riddle, I will say. It's not a mistake. When I first read this, I was like, huh, but then I was like, oh, I get it. I enter hand in hand, yet seen with no one. And by the time you know I'm there, am passed.

Starting point is 01:04:49 Hmm. Okay. I enter hand in hand. I'm trying to think of like, who holds their hand in their hand, and all I can picture is like little kids in choirs. And of course, trees under the ground, and then Janet, big laugh because that's a callback.

Starting point is 01:05:04 Callback to the summing circle from the, remember in the first half, Janet? In the first half of the episode? Janet, nod your head. You guys, of course trees under the ground and then Janet big laugh because that's a callback. Callback to the summing circle from the, remember in the first half Janet? In the first half of the episode. Janet nod your hand. You guys, of course I do. Yeah, of course you do. I enter hand in hand yet seen with no one and by the time you know I'm there, I'm passed. Don't, am I crazy? Don't little kids who sing choir, don't they put their hands in their hands?

Starting point is 01:05:21 You have to cup your hand. Yeah. In your hand. Like they can't sing without doing that. Adle, you're not crazy. That breaks the chain. Thank you. If you take your hands apart, that breaks the chain. And you aren't able to sing anymore.

Starting point is 01:05:32 Don't let Stevie Nicks hear you say that. Never break the chain. Never break the chain. She's huge. I never break the chain. Never break the chain. I'm seen with Am's Am scene with no one? Am, seen, am seen with no one? Am, wait, yet seen with no one,

Starting point is 01:05:48 and by the time you know I'm there, am passed. Am passed. I actually think this would be a big boon to Janet and I solving this. Could you read the riddle again in a foghorn, leghorn type voice? I would love that also. I enter hand in hand, yet seen with no one,

Starting point is 01:06:03 and by the time you know, I'm there Yeah, it just sounds like a court statement. Yeah Your honor, I I'm stuck on am past and past is good and yeah But I don't know why I am Other than like I when when you said it am past I I was like oh a.m. Is morning morning past I'm so close Choking on something he tried to suck down. I tried to suck down a cheeseburger. I tried. Oh god. This is how JPC does the vowels

Starting point is 01:06:56 I don't even have a cheeseburger. I was sucking down the thought of a cheeseburger. I got caught up by a lyric. Sounds like a lyric from uh, uh, who would sing that? That could be a cake lyric, couldn't it? Cake lyric sucking down the idea of um, Ampassed, AMpassed. Yeah, so morning morning passed. Yes, so when morning passes and I'll read it again. I enter hand in hand, yet seen with no one, and by the time you know I'm there, a.m. passed. The moon. Hand in hand. Moonless sun. Reno, is it Reno? In hand. Not Reno, and it's almost not the moon.

Starting point is 01:07:18 It's almost not the moon. A.m. p.m. A.m. passes. Dawn, dawn. And there's a hand in hand, what would this be? Oh, a hand in hand, noon. It is noon. Wow, it's a clock hands.

Starting point is 01:07:29 Yes, it is a clock hands. It is noon, it is a clock hands. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I did not care for that. Get it, your nose is bleeding. Get it? Oh, well that's a sure sign. Sure sign, hit me, hit me.

Starting point is 01:07:44 Hit me. Okay, there's one more sign. Sure sign. Hit me, hit me. Hit me. Okay, there's one more. You have Stranger Things disease, right? There's one more, and then we'll get to it. You said you have Sugar Thins disease? Yeah, the boxers sugar thin. You have the same disease that got sugar thin. I said you have Stranger Things disease.

Starting point is 01:08:00 Sugar thin joining us for the weigh-in. Sugar thin weighing in it. Oh, sugar. 64 pounds sugar. You shouldn't be boxing. Sugar thin, no. Sugar thin, joining us for the weigh-in. Sugar thin, weighing in at, oh sugar, 64 pounds, sugar. Sugar thin, no. Sugar. You're gonna get clobbered. The guy's four times your size. It does make sense if they name a category after him, like below lightweight is sugar thin. That's like waver thin, but even thinner. Listen, I am a diabetic with high metabolism and I love the box.

Starting point is 01:08:25 All right, one more riddle. Yes. Let's play Tetris at 16, dressed out and unclean, bouncing balls in between two pawns, a bishop and a queen. 69. That's too many items. It's too many items. 69ing.

Starting point is 01:08:43 69ing, interesting. You have to fit together like Tetris pieces and there's balls bouncing. Yeah, making Tetris pieces 69 won't win you the game, but it will get you some. Let's play Tetris. There are so many things were named in that. I felt like these are a few of my favorite things.

Starting point is 01:09:00 Tetris and bouncing and busting the sugar. Can you read it one more time, G if you see? Let's play Tetris and bouncing and buzzin' the sugar. Can you read it one more time, JPC? Let's play Tetris at 16, dressed out and unclean, bouncing balls in between two pawns, a bishop and a queen. Are these Taylor Swift lyrics? It feels like it, huh? Touch me while your friends play Call of Duty. Sex, baby.

Starting point is 01:09:19 Everything. Everything is lyrics, okay? Everything is lyrics. Everything is lyrics. Everything is lyrics. Every kiss Everything is lyrics. Everything is lyrics. Everything is lyrics. Every kiss begins with lyrics. Totally. Erin, you haven't guessed this whole second half.

Starting point is 01:09:31 You have a guess for this one? Lamp post? It's not lamp post. That's a decent guess. What if it was? What if it was? But what if it was? But think about it, because when you say lamp postost, that would explain the whole, like the chest

Starting point is 01:09:47 pieces that get mentioned. Yeah, yeah. Because a knight, I mean a bishop looks like a lamppost. I don't think you're going to give this one, so I'm going to explain it. Can you give us a hint? Okay, sorry, go ahead. How about, give me a shot at it. Okay, Erin, so let's play Tetris at 16,

Starting point is 01:10:05 dressed out in unclean bouncing balls in between two pawns, a bishop and a queen. Ooh. Yeah, that's what we all thought. Is it a lamppost? Bouncing balls. Bouncing balls in between seems really important. I don't know why I'm zeroing in this whole show

Starting point is 01:10:23 from the very beginning, when we first started recording this whole full show, I felt like there was, there's like, if I can just sniff out the key piece, there's gonna be a key piece in each of today's riddles. And for some reason, bouncing balls in between feels like my life line. Oh, wait.

Starting point is 01:10:39 Yeah, at all? Oh, hold on. Bouncing balls in between would be pong? No, not pong. What's another thing that bounces balls in between? Table tennis? Ping pong. Ping pong.

Starting point is 01:10:47 Similar to pong in that it contains one of the words. Pinball. It's not pinball. So Tetris is obviously... It's not tennis? Mind sweeper? These all sound like old timey computer games or something. It's not old timey computer games.

Starting point is 01:11:01 Two pawns, a bishop and a queen. I guess you could play chess on a computer. You could play chess on a computer. I used to play chess on a computer and Yeah, you could play chess on a computer. I used to play chess on a computer and mine sleeper. So I'll walk you through it. Let's play Tetris. Each shape in Tetris is similar in the way

Starting point is 01:11:15 that they are all a combination of four squares. 16 is four squared. Dressed out in unclean bouncing balls in between, you might be playing the game of... 4 square. 4 square. Two pawns, a bishop and a queen is... Lamp post. On a chessboard is a lamp post.

Starting point is 01:11:35 And the answer is lamp post! Yay! We're here in... Casey, hit them with a voicemail theme! It's the end? Leave a voicemail At 805 Little One Leave a voicemail

Starting point is 01:12:09 And you might have a little fun. Dear Blue Crew, I'll call you in spite of years of silence. Oh. Ooh, the hit us with the fade out. I love the... Expert move. Expert move to hit the fade out. A lot of people send themes that are over 30 seconds, no fade out.

Starting point is 01:12:26 Guys, 30 seconds with a fade out, perfect. Of course that is a Weezer cover submitted by someone whose name is River. So River on Rivers, I guess. River and Rivers in conversation. That could be a riddle. I think this also inspired me. Next time I'm Old Man Puzzles,

Starting point is 01:12:44 I'm gonna do some Hinkerton pinkertons. And those are gonna be, those are gonna be Weezer related hinkpinks. Those are gonna be very hard to write and there's gonna be one of them. And I won't be doing them and I'll be forgetting about that probably. I hope my internet doesn't work that day either.

Starting point is 01:12:58 What do you mean? What do you mean, Erin? Kate. I was here the whole time. If you wanna submit a voicemail theme, 30 seconds or less, send it to HRRpodcast at gmail.com. Hopefully, it'll wave file. Casey, do we have a voicemail?

Starting point is 01:13:10 Hi, Erin, Adel, and JPC. And Janet. My name's James. I have a question about my improv team. We've been together for about five years, and it's a great team. But the thing is, they want to do musical improv. And we have been doing it for the last couple of years. And it's a great team. But the thing is, they wanna do musical improv, and we have been doing it for the last couple years,

Starting point is 01:13:28 and it's fun, but I just prefer straight improv. So how do I get them to go back? What should I say to convince them? Thanks, proud of you. Aw, I knew that. I worked really hard this episode, it's nice to get some validation. Out of the blue, just the beautiful little sentiment

Starting point is 01:13:48 that we all needed. Yeah, that went, oh, to my chest. That made me feel really good. I've got good news and bad news for you, James. The bad news is your improv team is over, but the good news is your improv team is over. So you can continue on with the rest of your life, but they're a musical improv team now.

Starting point is 01:14:05 It's time for you to leave and go start a new team if you don't wanna be doing musical improv because they will never come back. They have joined the dark side. The powers of the Sith are too strong. The laughs are too easy to get. They will never come back to building scene work ever, ever, ever again.

Starting point is 01:14:21 Yeah. My advice would be, every time you're doing a show and your teammates are singing a song and you're in the scene and they're like, they sing a beautiful little verse and then they kind of pass the baton to you for you to sing your part. I think you don't sing, you look at them

Starting point is 01:14:39 and then you kind of turn to the audience in a conspiratorial way and you go, that was weird. Yes. And then you go, anyway, the rent is due. That's a fun hook, you know what I mean? There are plenty of improvising, just musical improv groups, but very few of them have someone on the inside

Starting point is 01:14:57 as the audience proxy constantly checking in to say, this is absurd, right? We can agree this is dumb. Okay, that was weird. I'm just gonna do that regardless of whether or not my teammates are singing or not. That was weird. You're pretending to be a cowboy for a second there.

Starting point is 01:15:14 I'm gonna do improv where there is no music in the improv, but when it's time for me to do something, I'll do a conspiratorial side to the audience. It's like, isn't they weird? Isn't they strange? What's going on today? Isn't they weird? Isn't they strange?

Starting point is 01:15:35 We had too many, which of course you remember, Aaron, we had too many poorly-grammared lyric riddles today, so that it really felt like it broke my ability, as you've just heard, it broke my ability to just speak regular English. And I remember that from being here the whole time. We don't need to recap the show on each other, we're all here for the whole show.

Starting point is 01:15:56 I would say sort of a similar bit of advice that Adil is giving, become a liability, right? Yeah, drag your feet. Make them nervous to have you there. Because you can't collect unemployment insurance if you quit. They have to fire you. That's the only way you're gonna get rich.

Starting point is 01:16:11 Another improviser on the dole, huh? You improvisers. My big advice would be listen to me rap on this show right before you walk in. You will by proxy forget how to rhyme and become a liability to your musical improv team and they'll go, we have to go back to regular improv. Yeah, because we have to keep this person

Starting point is 01:16:31 who's a liability, that's for sure. Here's my- We can't let them go. That's a good point. Yeah, no, that's not gonna work how you want it to. But maybe you could, I mean, James, have you had the conversation where you're like, hey guys, like, I think one thing we should really consider is staying like you might stay sharp in a different way if you don't just stop doing non musical improv altogether. What if like,

Starting point is 01:16:54 you guys compromise? Are you willing to work out a compromise where, you know, every other show is musical or? Yeah. I mean, James, you would know better than I would. musical or yeah I mean James you would know better than I would start dating someone on the team let's call them Dave now you are dating have a messy breakup okay so much that it breaks Dave like Dave is completely broken and then when you go back to improvise and be like musical improv was kind of Dave's thing so like to serve Dave let's let Dave who's had enough that. And let's all just go back to doing it. Or even you get rid of Dave. You get rid of musical improv.

Starting point is 01:17:30 You get to do a little bit of fucking witch ain't bad. Wagging a cigar, JBC. Like a Parisian cowboy. JBC's Sarah Vice. And Aaron, you like that? You can call back. I did. I love it because I remember that,

Starting point is 01:17:46 bonjour, I have to get on my own. Don't get specific, Aaron, don't get specific. Yeehaw, wee wee haw. Wee wee haw, and wa. JPC, exact advice you gave, but I also recommend any time somebody in the scene makes up a song, start to cry and say, that was our song. That was Dave and I's song. That was Dave and I's song.

Starting point is 01:18:05 That's Dave and I's song. Also Janet, you said something that made me think of something else that might work, which is working for Broadway right now, which is anytime Broadway is like, ooh, we don't have, we have some original musicals, but we have all these other theaters to fill, what shall we ever do?

Starting point is 01:18:22 And then someone's like, how about we shoehorn in a plot to some, like make a jukebox musical and just shoehorn a plot into, you know, a ton of Patsy Cline songs or something. So anytime it's your turn to sing in the musical improv show, you just sing any sort of top 40 hit word for word. And I think that'll work out pretty well.

Starting point is 01:18:43 There was a pianist used to to play for I.O. and I saw him do a show once. And you're playing piano, it's like improvised piano. And someone was doing like a monologue and he started playing Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror. And it fit really well, but I was like, that's like a really interesting choice. And then I saw a show like a month later

Starting point is 01:19:01 and it was a very different context. And he started playing that same Michael Jackson David Ramirez, and I was like, oh, I hate this guy now. I was like, you're gonna not play like popular songs in the middle of your musical improv set. Pretty great. That's so funny.

Starting point is 01:19:16 Let's get to some plugs. Let's start with you, Adel. Adel, what are you plugging? Ooh, I am going to go ahead and plug. This might be controversial. Ooh. I'm gonna go ahead and plug. This might be controversial. Ooh. I'm gonna go ahead and plug 100 foot tall skeletons from Home Depot. Wow, nice.

Starting point is 01:19:28 Yay. I remember that part. I was there for that part. I love that part too. You guys? You were there for all of it. Janet. What? You were there.

Starting point is 01:19:35 Huh? You were there. Also hi Janet. It's so good to see you. I feel like the hey, Roodle, Roodle, Cannon is that I am always in every episode. I just am not speaking or I'm muted. Just like Erin, sometimes you're just silent for 15 minutes.

Starting point is 01:19:47 Didn't we establish that? Yeah, we established that. Many episodes ago. I was trying to prove a point about my value. Anyway, skeleton. I wanted you to miss me. Erin, what do you have to plug? Huh?

Starting point is 01:20:01 I have to plug... Out of all episodes, I have to plug, um. Out of all episodes I think about this. Um, you know what, I'm gonna plug sitcom D&D. Wow. Feels right. Yeah. Feels good. Give that one a plug. And I'd also like to plug our Patreon.

Starting point is 01:20:16 I'm loving, I'm loving the content we're doing over there. Give it a shot. It's fun over there. Especially our review crew for this month where we ate 60 grapes. Janet, what do you have, what do you have to plug? I have to plug, I will plug the JV club, my podcast where I talk about people's teen years,

Starting point is 01:20:34 awkward teen years, everyone except for Casey Toney, coming for you Casey, has been on that podcast, everyone in this room at this moment, and I'm also gonna plug the Penguin baseball shirts. I know that technically it's not April anymore, but I'm wearing mine, I'm really loving it, and I definitely am getting puzzled looks and questions from people out on the street who wanna know

Starting point is 01:21:03 what is wrong with me. I mean, Janet, it's called April of the Penguin. So really you're on theme for being late. That's true. As long as you're late, you're going to be. Then you're honoring the penguin. Then you're on time. I'll tell you who wasn't late. And that is a person who wrote this five star review. If you want to get a five star review featured on the show, just go ahead and submit a five star review. I might pick yours and read it today. I picked Jimmy Jam, the meme man, who says, I'm a Puzz Hound.

Starting point is 01:21:26 My name's Jim, big fan of the show. These three, as well as guests and Casey, wow, cover on all bases, are the absolute best. I work overnights and listen to podcasts for my whole shift so I burn through them. In fact, I found the show in September of this year, and when Spotify Wrap told me in late November that HRR was my top podcast, I couldn't even be surprised.

Starting point is 01:21:43 I listened to over 200 episodes in about a month and a half. Hard not to when these guys bring their A game in like most episodes. This episode included. I'm sorry. Keep it up, Jupiter Forever. Wow, Jupiter Forever, Jimmy Jam, the meme man. Ending our episode for us.

Starting point is 01:21:58 Oh, I didn't even have to say it. We didn't even need you here, Aaron. That's sufficient. The point I tried to prove. Hey there, ooh lalas and oh baby babies, if you liked that, you were going to love this week's Patreon. We return to the name that tune game, but this time we're going back to the 90s. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyrudelrudel by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review

Starting point is 01:22:51 crew for $8 a month and you get those ad-free episodes. See you there!

Hey Riddle Riddle - #304: The Completely Normal Episode

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