Hey Riddle Riddle - #31: Take a Riddle Bit Off the Top!

Episode Date: February 20, 2019

Adal introduces a new segment that's sure to become a staple of the show, Erin gets an unexpected call from a famous game show host who's still in love with her, and JPC attempts to join the Spice Girls! All this and we talk shop (barber shop), words with no vowels, month long parties and the Clue Crew recalls the best way to kill a Sim!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm Aaron Keith. Aaron, do you know what song that references from? Why not ask JPC to? Put me on the spot? I assume JPC's country fry is a good thing. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron.

I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron.

I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron. I'm Aaron Keith Aaron. Do you know what song that references from why not ask JPC to put me on the spot? I assume JPC's country fried. Oh, yeah, I'm country fried What's the song? Devil one down the Georgia It's something like that. I was gonna say my intro was gonna be welcome to the Ritty No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, another episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. This is another episode. It is just another episode. What number is this? 40?

Yeah, this, this one we're recording out of order, this is 40. Well, this is 32, but it's produced by Judd Apatow. Yeah, this is 40. Yeah, that makes sense. Does that make sense? Uh-huh. We should say that Judd Apatow is guest-directed

this episode. Yeah, it's mostly improv. Mm-hmm. Um, how's everybody doing? Okay, we can talk about this. Oh, GPC, I had a thought today. Oh, really? That must have been the first time ever.

Even if you're not getting the insult out quick and I mean. Damn nice thing. I had a thought today. What is your mother's last name? Stuart. Oh, really? Wait, why don't I think you're I don't know I thought you're how would I know what your fucking thoughts are name started with a B

Pitman pitman it's a P it's a B. I guess I'm a very good friend. Yes But that's not my mom's name. It's my dad's name. Okay. Yeah You have a good bird today was that Because we all know that JPC changes name to KFC. We all know that JPC changes name to JPC and my thought was that your real name is Steve Bartman. That's a very Chicago specific. I was getting ready to come to this recording and I was like, isn't JPC's last name?

I thought it was like Bitmin or something, but it was Bitmin. But I started with a B and then I was like, maybe he's Steve Bartman and I, because I know that guy, who wished a way to somewhere. Is it because my Instagram is Shark Barkman? Maybe that's what it is. It combines, yeah.

Okay, that could be it. And Barkman. And to Steve Bartman. That's a combo. What do you catch that ball? I wanted to ruin my life forever. I wanted everybody in Chicago to hate me for decades. I also had and we'll let we're going to get into some reviews and parties pretty soon, but I also thought to create a segment for today's episode, which I didn't create, because I'm like, I think people are going to get really upset with me if I make this segment.

So I thought to like maybe just give one example. And then if people want this segment, if people are thirsty for this segment, then I'll do it next time. Okay. Okay. But my guttural instinct was that people were going to be like, I'm out with this. What is it? What's a gutter oil instinct?

Do you mean gut instinct? Gutter oil instinct. It's a 90s arcade game, especially a ripoff mortal combat. Why you wanna kill me, Joker? Why you wanna kill me, Joker? What is the segment? So the segment is called your spouse.

Uh huh. And what it is is I give you clues that are going to lead you to an answer, but in the answer is very convoluted, but in the answer you have to replace one word with the phrase, my wife. Okay. So this sounds like what you try to do is a sandbox segment. It a very specific. Yeah, so basically, so an example would be, and you have to put the mustard on the ball.

Like you have to, when you say my wife, you have to say it in a way that we all want it to be said. So for example, your balls, correct? Aaron, for example, I might say to you, this Frank Capra movie starring Jimmy Stewart. It's a wonderful my wife. Exactly, so that would be the game. I'm pretty thirsty for this. I'm like another one. It's a wonderful my life. Exactly. So that would be the game.

I'm pretty thirsty for this. I'm like another one. Aaron, okay. This is a classic Bond Jovey song. It's my life. And now I want another one. I want them all to be addressed to me. So Mike Myers would kill somebody, he

would stab somebody in the face with this. It's my knife. I was going to say, if I, if I pulled a blade on crocodile Doug D, he would say, that's not up my way. This is a my way. So listeners, let us know if you are still listening. Yeah, definitely not. And if you want This is a my wife So Listeners let us know if you are still listening. Yeah, definitely not and if you want more of this Why would 80 wood what more of this and you have to use the hashtag your spouse And if you if we get what do we say a hundred of those hashtags if we could even one of those hashtags I'll eat my own ass That famous part of Simpson catchphrase.

We weren't going to and now we're going to. When the Simpsons were on the Traci Olmuncho, Bart Simpson used to say I'll eat my own ass. Yeah, the Bartbad. The Bartbad. Are we ready for some warm up pleasanties and reduced? Always. So this is just to give credit where credit is due. This is for- And Addle took a big swing of about and do it.

He said that. I did it all the other skateboards. And through the rastic at the wall. That'll be a nice plug for Mountain Dew on our Instagram. This is from a book given to me. This book was handed to me at PodCon 2 in Seattle. I met many a wonderful Heyruda Rital fan at podcon. And somebody, we got all kinds of gifts.

Somebody gave me a pen to give to Aaron so that she could drink that pen. I lost that pen. Like she predicted you would. And we got some other stuff, but yeah, somebody handed me a book of Riddies and Puzzies. Just for full context, also, it'll be Gan. It it'll be GAN this episode

by telling Aaron and I the things that he would have got us or he was thinking about getting us as gifts when he was in Seattle. So. I thought that was a nice sentiment. To be like, I thought of you, and almost bought this, I did, but I was thinking of you. So this is from Susie Michelle Poito.

I believe that's how I'm supposed to pronounce that. Susie Michelle Poito. Posta. Her husband gave me this book. And so, what's her husband's name? Mm-hmm. So she gets credit? So my fucking name doctor?

Well she gets credit because she sent him on the show. I'm gonna say that whenever I don't know anyone's name. What am I? Name doctor, fuck you. I just like the president of like, if you give us a gift in the show, we will give your significant other credit. We will read your significant others' full name

and not yours. He's like, oh, why are you listening to this garbage? Why would I ever get a husband's name and not the, my wife's. David, David Poveto is her Significant nice, so thank you Michelle. Thank you David and all the Riddies and Puzzies will be from this book Here we go. Here's number one Can you think and this is more of just a question? Okay, can you think of any words in the English language that do not contain vowels?

No, next question. I cannot, I would use two. Sorry, these are more truth or dares. Uh, these are words in the English language that do not contain any vowels. Yeah, it's like something. I've heard this. Uh, what was that? It's like, it's like an answer.

You just turned into the daughter from Shits Creek? Yeah, it's like an answer. I don't know. I don't know. Oh my god, Dave and? The English language too, not like Polish or Hawaiian or all of those. English language that contain no vowels. I don't know. And give yourself some, it's pretty generous in terms of calling these words. I mean, I guess they're words, but there you go. Yeah.

Wait, these pass? Like, shh, that's a word? Shh, is one of them. Oh my God. Shh, sh's Creek. Shhh. Shhh. Who you just cleaved? Hehehe. Some of the words are shhh. Hmm. And tisk, tisk.

Or if you want to do it like a durable shirt, you can make that sound. None of those are words. None of those are words. Those are all sounds. Shhh. Hehehe. Hehehe.

Hehehe. Hehehe. Yeah, like I got. Here. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. I got got. Here we go. Here's another warm up, Ritty. Okay. If bananas come under the heading of fruit and radishes come under vegetables, what do eggs come under? Oh boy.

Ew. Ew. Ew. I want to be dirty with this, right? Yeah, you definitely do. I do think I want to be good at it. You know JPC, which I do. If bananas come under one fruit. Hey I know this is a first date but what an eggs come under my fucking dick. I like the baby at

the end of it like it's a deer egg. If bananas come under fruit and radishes come under vegetables. Yeah under the heading of fruit. Okay. Radishes come under vegetables. What do eggs come under? It's like a lettering thing. I mean, everything's a lettering thing. They're not true. They're food. They're protein.

They're eggs come under. Well, the lack of... So I wouldn't see you seeing. The two of you are, you're a married couple and you're like at a farmer's market. Sure. Okay. And you usually sell fruits and vegetables. You got recently eggs on your farm that you're selling

and you're deciding how to best sell them to the crowd at the farm which market okay Christopher see how yeah yeah what should we do how should we sell these oh I was thinking we would put them and I'm just gonna keep eating just nine did someone someone say my name? Fuck you. What? Did someone say rude Barb? Okay, rude Barb, go back to your stand. We have no one wants lemonade.

Okay, well fuck you both. No one wants lemonade, Barb. Okay, we want life. It'd be lemon. It's talking. Well life handed us eggs and now it's time for us to, Christopher. Yes.

Christopher, how shall we sell these? I was thinking of laying them out in a wicker basket and putting some strewn about Stribories and Strewed about strawberries and blueberries and these are in season sweetheart. Um, oh Yes, you're right. Maybe we could use some uppercuts or some the games from the game what the games Some the games and the green beans see mercy. Mercy. See mercy done suffer I don, some green beans. See, mercy, mercy, same, same, mercy done, suffer over it. I don't wanna stop.

Okay, keep going. No. Eggs come under. I just couldn't take that mouth smack. Even though that is a word. Technically, that's a word with no vowels. Mouth smack. What's your favorite mouth smack, son?

Well, that's when, you remember when smash mouth and got smack formed a band together? Yeah. Smash God. Um, eggs come under. The blankets. Under, yeah. I'm going to say the blankets final answer.

Reaches. Do you want a phone with a friend? Uh, don't call me. We're going to call Aaron Keith. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, hello. Hi, Aaron Keith. This is, this is Regent Filment. What? They said, hi, they're going to keep this a da da da. Hello. Hi Aaron Casey. This is free to film. What

As I never keep this a read your film. Okay, I told you I'm not in love with you anymore. Please stop calling here Aaron. It's JPC. I'm on who met to me a millionaire who met to be a billionaire It's who met to be a billionaire. JPC. I'm not in love with you anymore. I told you to stop calling me Love with you anymore. I told you to stop calling me back Hey sweetie. Hey sweetie. You're on the phone JPC every Disponent honey Every call that comes into the house you scream. I'm not love with you. Yeah, it's a bogey troid

Your dad snuggle put it. Yeah When do eggs come under we don't know the boy. I don't think we know, the blanket. Eggs usually come under hands. Fuck. You will take a little bit of time to digest. Eggs come. How satisfying that was. Under, eggs come under biscuits. You know, that's the same much.

Ah, I'm ready for another. Yeah, I want one to clear the eggs of my mouth. I want that. How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard? Shave your legs. Shave a second off your record time. I mean, those are both correct and awesome. But not the one you're looking for.

But not the one I'm looking for. Shave three times a day. How is it possible to shave three times a day? You're shaving a different part of your body. Damn dude, three times a day is way too often to shave. That, whoever, my face, three times a day. Oh, Aaron gets a five o'clock shadow, she gets a five or five shadow, she gets a five, ten shadow,

she gets a five, fifteen shadow. Shave three times a day and still grow a beard. Beard is the other type of beard, which is when you are a homosexual and you marry a straight person to give yourself some cover from society, I guess, maybe your parents. So you're still maintaining this beard

that you've married. Wow, you got clean shaving face and you're hitting the clubs every weekend. It's not shaving hair. It is. All right, so it's shaving a different part of your body. Name those parts. Arm pit, legs,

but hold. Cudder. But hold, put a hole in between tank. Cudder. You guys shave your cudder. Yeah, shave your teeth, shave your eyes, shave all this stuff. Which is my favorite Billy Madison,

my favorite happy Gilmore villain was Cudder McGavin. Jesus. Did we get it right? No, you did not. What are you looking for? What are you looking for? I'm looking for the answer. Mustache.

How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow beard? The answer, if you were a barber, then you could shave other men three times a day and still grow you own beard. I mean, that is correct because that's the only time you'd want to shave that much. I'd like to see a scene. Okay. Um, JPC, you're a barber and, Adel, you come in every day to get your hair cut and JPC, you're like, you've had enough.

Okay. Just a little off the top, please. I'm sorry. Just a little bit off the top. Carl, can I talk to you for a second? Oh, we're talking right now. Great, just jump up in the chair. You could, you could,

This is not. Such a high chair. I thought it'd raise the chair to maybe prevent you from getting into it, but I could see now that that did not work. Carl, you come in here every day. Oh, my nose is bleeding. That's what I get for going to a barber in Denver.

Carl, nobody's of abused, but you. You come in here every day. Yes, goes to take a little bit off the top of your head. Every day we give you a haircut, we charge you $39 and we send you on your way. Why? Why in God's name do you come in here for a haircut every day, Carl? Yeah, just you know when you get your haircut and you see someone that you know and they say, hey, did you get your haircut? Mm-hmm. This feels good. It feels good? Because I just want that feeling every day. It's a little off the top every day. Your sides are out of control. You look like Boso the cloud, Carl. I'm going for a look. I want to set myself apart from the other riff raff.

I want to distinguish the look. Would you let me do this? Would you let me give you a real haircut? One that'll last you a couple of weeks. And then you can see how that distinguishes you? Well, because you're like a... Broom, broom, broom. Your phones are getting...

Sorry, that's my pager. Hold on. That's a nine-way one-text for the wife. I better call this one in. Hey, honey, it's me. I'm on who wants to be a millionaire. Oh, okay. The question.

Are you with Rebys Filman? This is Regid Filman. Regid's like, oh, I'm such a big fan. Is it Aaron Keef? You know what I mean? This is Aaron, A-A-R-O-M-Keefe. I love you so much. And Z.

I love that a barber would be like, I just, I can't make all this money. Barbers have, they took an oath. They have to do no harm. And they can't give you a bad haircut every day. Okay, can I tell you something that's weird? Always. You tell me if this is weird, because I find it very weird. At the place that I go to get my hair cut, I will see all this.

Plug that place. It's a, oh God. Snippy clippies. Snippy clippies. It's Snippy clippies. The place on Irving Park. It's the place on Irving Park. What's that place called?

Floids. It's like, Floyd something. Floyd's 99 or something like that. It's like Irving Park and like that. Floyd 6, yes. Yes, Floyd 69. I would have forgotten that. It's like Herb and Park and like that. Floyd 69. Yes, Floyd 69. I would have forgotten that. It's 4.29 haircuts.

But I see all the time, like couples go in there and like the female, a part of a female male couple. Like the man will be getting his hair cut. Where is this going? The man will be getting his hair cut and she'll be sitting there waiting and then the barber will be like, ask her if the haircut's good and then she'll look up

and be like, yeah, that's great. And then they'll get up and leave. And I've seen this multiple times. Should I defer to the guy? Where it's like the guy does not either does not know how to get his haircut or does not have permission to get his haircut or. That's strange.

And also I've gone in there with a boyfriend and that's happened. You've done that? Yeah, where they've gone. And I did not meet prompting them, but the barber's like, oh, you're here with your significant other. Like, make sure they, the old lady likes it.

Oh, I don't give a shit on my phone. I have so many questions. Why were you there together? Why were you just waiting for them to get a haircut? Because you just run errands. You were just out running errands and hair cut was. Yeah, and I think also when I went, I was like, oh, maybe I'll get my bangs cut.

But you didn't, you didn't end up getting your... I think I maybe ended up getting, but I was like sitting there on my phone and then the person was like, what do you think? Because every time I see it, the woman never gets her haircut. And it's not like she just has already had her haircuts. Like they came in together.

Have you never run errands with a significant other? I don't consider a haircut to be an errand, I don't think. Cause it takes like- And haircuts an errand? Ah, okay. What do you, what's like, what constitutes an errand? For me, for it to be an errand, I have to be able to like, I don't have to be a, like, I should be able to go in and out

and I shouldn't have to wait for any period of, like, returning- This is the most serious I've ever seen. Returning some groceries or returning some groceries. Now I gotta say a second. Aaron, you work at Mariano's. Absolutely. JPC, you're a sociopath.

Okay. Who's returning groceries? I'll say, I have no people that return groceries to grocery stores. Most grocery stores will just let you do it without a receipt. Yes, okay, ready? And you see me, I need to return some of these peppers.

What? I need to return some of these peppers. I was here the other day, but- I know, I'm the one who checked it. These were uncooked when you bought them. Yes, I cooked them. I checked them, how many cooked them is you can see? Are the moisture is left in them?

And I would like to- Your science is full refund for any- Yeah, but you cooked that. and I would like to, your science is full refund for any purpose. Yeah, but you cooked them. I'd also like to return these bananas. Okay. As Christimep. Yeah, you speak of Christmas bananas.

And I see you're rolling a tire. Are you planning on returning that as well? Because we don't even sell tires. You know, the tire is also full of all of these baby squish. I do returning these baby squish. I'm also returning some a mentindicated red that I bought for four months ago. So I'm having a bad day. I used to be the piano player here. You could open it and you still hear the sound because it then

opened. I'd like to return on the mentindic. How do you know? Try to make the sound. You just made it with your mouth. I didn't, you made it with your mouth. Your sentence is affirmative for all the items. I just would like to return to the jar. You didn't even try to hide it, so you would be in full man. That sounds a good point. This jar is skipping the peanut butter.

Okay, this is filled with piss. This is how I bought it. Same. Well, there goes Jeffy as a sponsor. Not just keep talking about this. Cheesy moms, chews piss. Again, I don't want to do a generalization. It just feels like a lot of people I know who have shorter

haircuts mostly get haircuts a little bit more impulsively than someone with long hair. Because it's like more like, the length is driving me nuts just today. The difference between it being comfortable and not comfortable is like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's more like, oh, they're out and about and I should go get my hair cut.

I'll feel better. I guess so. I mean, every time I don't make appointments there, so every time I go there, I end up like waiting for like 30 minutes, just like wait for them to cut my, I don't know, man, it just, it, my mom is a bar,

my mom runs a barbershop and that happens happens to her with, like, parent child. Yeah, it feels parent child. If it's like a kid under 16, she'll turn to the parent and say, is this good and not ask the kid. But with a couple, that's insane. I remember my grandma took me to get a haircut when I was a kid and we went to a great clip.

And I had long hair and I liked having long hair. And I was like, young and I sat in the chair and I was like, I just want a little bit off of just a little bit off. And she went and checked with my grandma and she was like, we'll just give him the back to school cut. And I was like, I don't know what that means. And she cut off all of my fucking hair.

And I- She cut your hair to look like Rodney Dinger, Phil. Look at their respect. They're respectin' for the old back of the school haircut. But I was livin'. I was like, how dare you not respect my wishes. Me, a child. A child with an agency.

But no one knew what that meant. No one knew what back to school cut then. Okay, that is so funny because it feels like the school bullies pay every barber shop down. Do you feel like, all right, ruin their confidence right before they go back to school. But I do want to have the haver to roll a fans way in on this. So if you think that it is fucked up that.

You don't answer fans. Why are you so mad? Did Scott call them on- No, if you think it's fucked up to have to like get someone else's approval when you get a haircut, hashtag, haircut, hair nuts. No, I do my cut, not your cut. My cut, not your cut. And if you think that it's perfectly acceptable

to get someone's permission to do a haircut. I'm a possessive partner. I'm a possessive partner. Wow. Kits a nice simple, memorable hashtag. Really sticking your crawl. I'll remember, also remember saying. I don't remember anything.

So it was people that I grew up in a town. I mean, I moved, I grew up in a town. I moved, shut, I'll certainly remember saying. I don't remember anything. So it was terrible. There was a, I grew up in a town. I mean, I moved, I grew up in a town. I moved, we moved like 10 times in eight years when I was a kid. But I lived in a town called an Opposite, which is a town of like 300 people. And there was a barber there called Two Minute Mikes. And so he would, as advertised,

he would cut your hair in two minutes or less. I don't think that's why he got that nickname. He did. And you didn't get it in two minute mics, right? Hey, Mike. Mike, this haircut took 22 minutes. Yeah, no, it's just a minute time I come. Not even I'm fat, That's a long cup.

Ew. Yeah, that's too long. I last remember when I come, I come for two minutes. But it's not all fast. It's slow. It's like, it cups and waves. Yeah, it's a cup of rigs. Me and Hans come over.

The rigs. The gruy. Aaron has fully left the microphone. But it was so funny as a kid I'd be like, oh, this is fun. But the haircuts were always terrible. And then I'm like, that's not a selling point. Like to do a haircut in under two minutes is not.

Aaron has left the heart, she's hurt herself. She's pulled her my cord up. She's clutching her, her mabel shirt. Oh, sorry, I ignored me. Ignore me, that really made me laugh. What's her last name in that show? She's clutching her her mabel her mabel shirt What's her last name in that show? I don't know mabel and Dipper something Oh my god, sorry, I completely distracted from your story. Yeah Aaron. No, yeah I don't know something a fun story about two minute mics and now we'll never hear the end of it. Well, let's see a quick scene minute mics and now we'll never hear the end of it. Well, let's see a quick scene.

Jesus. JPC, you are two minute mics. Okay. And you are laughing. And we take you to Mid-Cortus. Wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. No, this is part of the scene. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You wait a minute. You wait a minute. You wait a minute. Wait a minute. No, this is part of the scene. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You wait a minute. You wait a minute. You wait a minute. Two minute, my...

Yeah? Does it hurt your feelings that we all call you that? No, I mean, you know. Can we stop having sex for a second? Sure. Okay, can we talk? Okay. Let's see, cross the line of my bed.

No, okay. No, I mean, it doesn't hurt my feelings. I mean, you know, it's a nickname, and it's a nickname with a purpose. I know why I got it, and I know why I keep deserving it, so it doesn't hurt my feelings. The haircut you gave me. Uh huh.

It is, it's nice, it's nice. Okay. Thank you. I just, I feel like you don't have to do everything in two minutes, you know? No, I mean, in my guarantee, is that in two minutes, we will have sex and I will cut your hair. And if I can't be a barber who cuts people's hairs during sex, I don't want to be a barber. You just like, you cut, you gave me a bob with a sword.

You just sort of like sliced. When all of a sudden my hair was short. Yeah, I mean, I'm not good. You gave me a bob with a sword. You just sort of like sliced. All of a sudden my hair was short. Yeah, I mean, does someone call me? Does someone say a bar with a sword? Oh, okay. Fuck you, fuck you both. Go back to your lemonade.

Go back to your lemonade bar. I was watching you for a cup of chicken. It is. Oh, man. Two more mics. I sometimes don't get far enough back from the microphone in time. So if you're ever in the Ponce de Illinois, look for two minute mics.

Oh, that guy's jail. He was, he's in jail. He's in jail. If you come for two minutes, you're probably gotta go out in public. It's a boy. Two minute mic. For giving two fast haircuts,

I sit in two to 100 years in jail. But when I was, I mean, I was probably 10 at the time. And he was probably his mid 70s. Oh, okay. He's way, he's alive, for sure. But also my great grandma lived to like 98. So, oh my God. Till 1998.

Yeah. Yeah, she was 65. I'm dead 98. Here we go. Let's do maybe one or two more warm up pretty. Yeah, three or four. Three or four more. What is the richest person in the world

make for dinner every night? What does the richest person in the world make for dinner every night? Doesn't make dinner because they're at work. They just spread some butter on Bay Zost. Goals. They eat gold. Riches mainly in the world doesn't make dinner every night.

They have freaking pace. I'm going to do it. Yeah, they make their staff make dinner. I mean, you're on the right track. Unlivable wages. You're on the right track. Being a billionaire is a moral. Eat the rich. But you have to're on the right track. Being a billionaire's immoral, eat the rich.

But you have to really follow the make thread. What do they make for dinner every night? Money, baby. Cash. Make. Cash is queen. Cash is queen. Cash is queen.

Make. What is the richest person in the world? Make for dinner every night? Stake. And here's the sizzle. I give up. Reservations. Oh.

They would also not make reservations that have a assistant do that. Well, hold on, let me call this book real quick. I want to see a very quick scene. Where Adel calls a book. Adel, you are a, you work at a restaurant. And JPC, you're a millionaire or you're just a rich person but you can't quite afford an assistant so you're pretending to be your

own assistant or secretary calling and so you make reservations. Hello. Yeah, I need a table for two for tonight, seven o'clock. My name is the name of the restaurants. This is, I said restaurants. It's just a single. I'm so sorry This is my first name. This is your first name. Yeah, my that whole sentence was your first name correct Oh boy. What's your what's your last name kid? I'm gonna call you my last name restaurant. How about a call you dickhead? Listen dickhead. Yeah, I want my reservation table for two eight o'clock. You know who my boss is You said I want my reservation. So I eight o'clock. You know who my boss is You said I want my reservation, so I assume it's you you're your own boss No, I'm a different man. I'm sorry. I was an English major. I pick up on things you're an English major

You sound like a major pain in my ass Is this how you always talk is this are you always duck? Yeah? No, it's not who's your boss is my boss is me. I'm pretending to be my boss. What are you pretending to be? Waiter, I guess that doesn't make sense up on the phone you're pretending to be a waiter my is it okay? Major D. I don't even know what major D stands for what's that? I don't even know what major D stands for it First I thought when I got this job that they were saying major league and I love that movie. No, no, it's major D It's like ever seen major movie. No, no, it's Major League. It's like a... I've ever seen Major League?

Yeah, I have. What? It's like Scuba. Oh, it all stands for something. What is it stand for? Maybe after... Scene. There we go.

Oh, good. But Midi Boy letters. Let's do one more. Can you... And this is another just a simple question. Okay. Can you name at least two things that have to be broken before they are used?

Promise. Silence. You said silence? Okay, no. Oh, glow stick. Motherfucker, a bucket glow stick needs to be broken. Do you have to break an egg before you use it? You can't tell this, but Aaron is on Molly.

What? Egg is one. All count glow stick, but there's one more out there. You don't have to break an egg though, before you use it, you can hard boil it. Interesting, Rital. We still have to get that shell off. Yeah, I guess so. You take the shell off.

Another thing that you have to break before you can use it, the brakes on a car. No. That's pretty good. Another thing that you have to break before you can use it, the brakes on a car. No. That's pretty good. Another thing that you have to break before you can use it, a brake dance. A heart. Mm, that's pretty good.

Have we had this question before? Break wind. But probably. No, no. It's a horse. Oh yeah, you have to break it's spirit. You suck horse, you're a shit horse. Okay, I'm ready.

Okay. Okay. Speaking of one more thing, we have to break before you can use it. You suck horse. You're a shit horse. Okay, I'm ready. Spiggy of one more thing. We have to break before we can use it. Let's take a break and we'll be right back with more ribblees and pubblees. And glow sticks. Riddies believe it or not. Hey, GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help.

I'm, um, pranking Attle. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Attle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy

to create a beautiful website. It gays with your audience. It's not anything for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store

that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new, and use an included. And I'm going to use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace.

Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. No, the website was for. I can't remember what the website was for. Frank. Square space. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back.

Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, Therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately

picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month.

That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L--e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L.A.B.C. hoping at home by m-home who are we what is this

uh i uh clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite My favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh Yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well money. Oh yeah Aaron that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Monitor your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much especially around tax season. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Uh, sorry. I also want to give a toast. Rocket money,

well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clink clink. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses. So you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off.

Over three million, clink clink clink. over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle

that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them jpc's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love you. Welcome back everyone. Aaron is what are you drinking there? I am drinking seltzer water and it's caffeine free and an addle gave it to me. And I am drinking one gallon of a dog's piss. But he's holding up water. He's holding up a

can of jiffy peanut butter. Is there a peanut butter called jiffy? It's just jiffy, it's just jiffy. It's jiffy and jiffy. It's peanut bread. Yeah, and peanut bread. I am drinking, um, it was a 64 ounces of peanut butter. I'm ready for some real-time riddles and puzzles. Did you know that the name Wendy did not exist before Peter Pan? What? Is that true?

Mm-hmm. Wow. The name Wendy was made up for that book. That's crazy. By what's his name? J.J. Barry or something? Yeah. The name Wendy was made up for that book. That's crazy. By what's his name? J.Berry or something? Yeah. Wendy's very famous. J.Berry. The name Lil'Apution was only ever used in the book.

The Oliver's Traveling Fan, yeah. Yeah. Before there was never a name of a person. Did you know that painting offense was created by Mark Twain? As whitewashing offense. Before whitewashing offense. But whitewashing offense. They would paint offense, but whitewashing offense, that was original. Well, it's a fence, but it's got like condos

in a starboard. Yeah. They manage to just play. It's really whitewater. Let's get into our main. Hey, every time I take a shower, it's whitewashing. I'm sad. Aaron, you get that?

I'm going to look at the wall sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. In a small town in the United States, a teenage boy asked his parents if he could go to a friend's party. His parents agreed provided that he was back before sunrise. He left the house that evening, clean shaven, and when he returned just before the following sunrise, his parents were amazed as he had a fully grown beard.

What happened? He's a barber, and he would shave other people's beards and gloom to his face. That's what it was. Damn. So... He's a barber and he would shave other people's beards and gloom to his face. That's what it was damn So Small town just just melt down boy. I got a beard and grow on his face He said he's He's going to a concert Over he has to be back before sunrise party. No, he's going to party John P. Cougar

Miller JP Cougar. All right, so he's going to party has to be back before sunrise. Go party got to be back by sunrise. He left the house that evening clean shaven and when he returns just before the following sunrise his parents were amazed to see he had a fully grown beyond. And where's the town? What does it say about it? It's a small town in the United States Okay, so it's in Alaska It's 30 days of night. It's that it's that vampire book and he comes back 30 days later with a beard They didn't see that he had a beard when he left the house clean chave and he's clean chave and they saw he's clean chave Is it 24 is it no that's 24 would be too many?

Is it like over eight hours That he stays away from the house? You, I got it. Your first guest, you practically got it. I got it. What is that? The small town was Barrow in Alaska, the northernmost town in the United States.

When the sun sets there in the middle of November, it is not rising in for 65 days. That a lot of plenty of time for the boy to grow a beard before the next son arrives. Well, yeah, the beard's gonna be the least of his problem because the biggest problem is gonna be all the frickin' vampires and Josh Hartnett, they get up there and they start kinda going at it.

He's caught in the present cell, it's based off Comf Book. I wanna see a scene. JPC, your local teen in Alaska, go with a teen, and you're throwing a party. And Aaron is at your party, and she's playing a guest who hasn't left your party in 65 days. Obviously the party ended 64 days ago, and you're trying to get her to leave. It's a minute, probably turn in pretty soon. Surnish.

Oh yeah, totally, but like another drink though. Oh yeah, no, I mean, I'm- Here's beer. Okay, cool, I will save this for later. I actually have to go to work. You know what? I would love to just get into it with you right now. For sure. For sure.

Yeah. Your Brett's ex-girlfriend, right? That's why you're here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's ex girlfriend right that's why you're here yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what's your name again Jen Jen that's right Jen yeah hey um oh my god do any snacks left I feel like your snack spread is no yeah it's a little bit bit buns because of the party in the 64 days ago hey here's a thing Jen what's up why can I call you a lift? Oh my God, yeah. Like at the end of the party, definitely. For sure. Yeah. So what if we just do one now,

and then you get in and go, oh my God, but we like haven't even like gotten and know each other yet. So like, what's your deal? Hey, Jin, I need you to get the fuck out of my house. You've been here for fucking two months. Okay. What? I've been polite for two months. I've been dancing around this, but I feel like I'm going insane. I'm like, What? I've been polite for two months, I've been dancing around this, but I feel like I'm going insane. I'm like, well, I've been polite about your terrible haircut for two months and I haven't said anything. I get my haircut every day.

I know, it's awful. What do you mean? It's flat at the top. And big on the side, do you look like a clown? Okay, well, I've been treated like a clown by you and everybody who can abuse my party and my trust. I'm gonna stay. Oh yeah? Well if you're gonna stay, then you better drop to one knee.

Stay here for the rest of your life. Oh my god. No. Jim, for the pet, well, hold on. Yeah. Can someone please leave this party? Us vampires are getting hungry. There are people outside on your front lawn.

Those are people, obviously. Oh, they're vampires. Yeah, those are vampires. And yeah, umario. I'm serious. So, is this? This, I think I've maybe told this on the podcast before, but the first scene I've ever did with JPC,

was in a show at CIC. That makes sense. And yep. That's appropriate. And I started to see him, he came out and we like looked kind of like awkward at each other and I love you. And he went, who are you? In response.

Because I was a woman who was staying at a party to the world. We are not good improvising. No, but that is a classic right out of the gate. I was like, I feel like I get what this is going to be like forever now. I love you. Who are you? I remember just about watching one of the first shows I ever saw JPC and was that CIC as well?

And he was doing a show where every time somebody tried to edit, he'd just be like, look at that person running across the lawn. And it's just like, I remember just like, running and be like, this is the fucking... Speaking of taking these out. I'm like, this guy is very funny, but like, if we can't honor edits. I thought a devil's dotter show,

or you're like, nobody knows, I shit my pants. You're at like a board meeting and you're like, no one knows but me. Oh, that's right. There's a video on that on the internet. Where is it? We used to use that one for festival submissions. Oh, interesting.

Did you get into those festivals? No. That's a big no. Hey, Adel, what memories do you have of me being funny? Mm. Boo. Or me performing? God, I remember every show I've ever done with Adel,

he's played a horny dog that smokes cigarettes every show. That's right. I honestly can't remember the first time we played together. I feel like there's a lot of world news scenes. I remember it's like a product like me being like, we're gonna play some movies and we want your feedback on it. You know, we're gonna have to test audience kind of thing. I remember I did a scene with Aaron where I was a guy uh... place some movies and we want your feedback on it your you know we're gonna test out anything

i remember i did a scene with aron um... where i was a guy who had invented this new way for three people to use the bathroom at the same time that's the hardest i've i laughed in the last year and uh... yeah we have a the scene was it was nothing because everyone on stage was just laughing no it was four people it was me you and chain and yeah yeah j JPC was like there is a way for three people to Pena toilet at the same time and he walked And I was just

Completely dying I was I was laughing so hard. I couldn't say Because I had a mental picture of what it looks like and I was trying to get there physically Couldn't couldn't happen couldn't have this has been hey remember remember physically couldn't couldn't happen couldn't this has been hey remember remember All right, let's get back to some pleasant ready. Here we go What divides by uniting and unites by dividing I'm a big fan of this one what divides by uniting and unites by divide Trummarriage Wow Trump Wow Wow Wow Trump Wow worth it. Wow worth it. I, wow, worth it, wow, worth it.

I'm gonna take a moment to speak to social media. Okay. We've had a person or persons get very upset with how political we are in the show. Doom, doom, doom. Because over 30 episodes, we've mentioned Trump three times. Three times six times. Trump, what divides by uniting and unites by dividing?

Boy, oh boy. This is the division symbol. This is a little line. Is it a thing or an idea? Riddles. Riddles, right? It's a tangible thing. It's an item.

And something you probably use, I won't say you use it every day, but you use it probably a few times a week. GAM. GLUE. TOOTH PAST. I don't know. It divides by uniting uniting. You use toothpaste a few times a week.

Uh, once a month. Tops. Let's see. Fork. It's fork. Let's see. Fork. It's fork. It's fork. What divides by uniting and unites by dividing? You use it a couple times a week? Probably. I mean, I feel like the average person uses it a few times a week.

And it's absolutely in every household. Flutter. It's flutter. I use it when I go to my basketball games, make me jump high. Make me dunk when I'm not supposed to be able to. Is it like food? Like what is it? It's not food.

What divides by uniting and unites by dividing? Do you know what I'm here? So tears things apart when it comes together. Scissors. Scissors. Scissors. It's scissors. And unites by dividing.

Wow. Yeah. and you nights, quite defying. Wow, yeah, Skysers. I've not used Sizzlers and maybe a year. Sizzlers? Yeah. I use Sizzlers constantly. I use my teeth. I use my teeth are a combination of two knives.

And I've taped together. So look like you put a handle on them. I'm so fast that I don't need to use Sizzlers because I have the way that I work my blades. That's how you cut people's hair. Yeah. One nice swipe. Like move on.

Imagine a ship in the middle of the ocean. Done. Got it. Next, right off. Next, next, next, little bitch. I have also certain that J.P.C. and I didn't imagine it. Oh, God no.

I don't even remember what we were supposed to be doing. I don't remember the assignment. This is the John Lennon portion of the show. Imagine a ship. Imagine a ship. Imagine all that. The ship has a rope ladder that hangs over the side so that it's bottom-rung just touches the top of the water.

Okay. Each rung of the ladder is five inches away from the rung above it and from the rung below it. Gotcha. How many rungs will be underwater when a tide has risen five feet? So there's a rope ladder that hangs over the side, the bottom rung of the rope ladder

just touches at the top of the water. Each rung on the ladder is five inches away from the top, five inches away from the rung above it and from the rung below it. How many wrong above it and from the wrong below it. How many rungs will be underwater when the tide is risen five feet? Dude, zero. Zero. Fuck.

Aaron, we're so fucking smart. We're so fucking smart. So smart. Actually zero. We don't know. We don't, we got no idea, but it is zero. It's because the boat rises with the tide my dear boy Rising tide lifts all boats rising tide raises all ships That's all eat tight pockets get rid of that ladder. So all the fish can't climb up into the boat

Oh, okay, are the mermaids are the secret that brings us to a day fish Or like in the sims, you know when you would kill your sims. Oh yeah, you put them in a pool and get rid of the ladder. Yeah, we're psychopaths. Make a tiny little room with just a stove, take away the door. You never let go of that. You never let go of that. And they all just fucking burned the death of the little grave still in the popper.

A burrow atty. I had never heard, I had played Sims in college, but I had never heard that called Simlish what's it called? Simlish I'd never heard that before up until podcon and then somebody said like oh like they speak simlish and I was like What like it took me where I'm like are they talking about like? Like no you can go on YouTube and find like songs and similish too like shakis who let the dogs out or any other song I want to see a scene where JPC and I are we are at a high school Aaron you're a new student who sat down in our lunch table and you only speak in similar hey welcome hey hey come over here. Yeah, come on sit. I got oh

Okay, oh Shed I did that in a saa I got a bird out. Oh, yeah, dude. Hey, yeah Mike I've heard about I've heard about this girl. It's now. Okay. I think this girl is now What context for my you see that movie now? No, she's now Next for my you see that movie now. No, she's now Oh, she's like a day. Oh, hey, yeah Oh the bathroom it's right over there That's okay that she's like a mix of the teacher from peanuts and the lady Raina corn from adventure time? Use some references I know. Here's the movie now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, know that Just have it is a friend. Here's a disani I don't want I don't you know what I'll catch up in it that would ruin it

What's your party already has a great natural crisp flavor? What's your favorite 311 song? Seed It's amber amber is the color of energy You have a glass filled to the top. You hold it straight out in front of you and you let it fall to the floor. Is it possible for the glass to fall without spilling any water? You have a glass. It's full to the top and you let it drop to the floor. You hold it out straight in front of you. You let it fall to the floor.

Is it possible for the glass to fall without spilling any water? Yes. How so? Because that's what you want us to say. You want us to say that it is. You want us to defy the basic logic our brain so that- I would say no, unless there's a trick to this glass. Oh, this is the movie glass and he's unbreakable. There's a lid on the glass. It's unbreakable. Is there a lid on the glass? Is that okay? I mean, but that's on the glass. It's unbreakable. Is there a lid on the glass? Is that okay? I mean, but that's probably the answer. That's probably an answer, but why would you ever put a lid on the glass unless it's a cup?

I don't know. I would say no, it's not possible. That's my answer to this yes or no. Would it be a horrible riddle? Yeah. No. No, it's not. What is salt? Yeah, it doesn't spill any water because there's something on top.

Because you catch it, because it doesn't fall, because you, it's a vase. Because what is spilling, you know, the water is just water. The water's ice. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's also, that's water. Can you dog? Can you dog, good answer.

The water's ice can you dog? Imagine glass of water. Imagine you go to a restaurant restaurant ask for glass of water Imagine no water waiter brings a glass of water in the glass of water Tiny little dog in a canoe. What do you drink it immediately drink it? Drink it eat it anything a waiter gives me drink immediately Imagine Aaron imagine you're out of restaurant waiter brings you a full glass of Dr. Pepper. What do you do? Throw it at the wall.

Like, add all through his mountain dew at the wall earlier. You have a glass filled to the top. You hold it straight out in front of you. You let it fall to the floor. Is it possible for the glass to spill without spilling any water? Is it possible? Yes.

Filled to the top, but we never say what it was filled to the top with. It wasn't water. That's the answer. Of course, it's possible if the glass is filled to the top with milk. With milk and twizz. the glass is filled to the top with milk. With milk and twizz. And by melting the John Penn movie.

Yeah, yeah. Milk. Ah, the milk in the glass. What is that for you? Let's do another riddy. Love it. Cannot wait. At a posh restaurant.

Before we do, does everyone want to take a big drink of their glass of milk? Yeah. Mm. I don't love milk. Don't love milk. God, I remember being a kid, and we never drank milk in my house. Like, I think we maybe had like 2% milk with like cereal,

but no one ever really like drank milk. And then you'd go over to a friend's house, and everyone would have like a full glass of whole milk for dinner. And it was like, what do you, like, you have to drink this, you psychopaths? Oh, a whole glass of whole milk for dinner. And it was like, what do you, like you have to drink this, you psychopaths? Oh, a whole glass of milk for dinner? Yeah, like with your dinner.

That seems weird. With your dinner glass of milk. Sean drinks an entire gallon of milk every like 36 hours. He's gonna die. I don't know what, I write, that's disgusting. Why? He just drinks so much milk. That's like his beverage.

Do you wanna say who Sean is? Is he a professional gamer? Yeah, he just I have no idea But he's very like strong and fit. He must have something figured out that we don't well He like drinks the amount of milk that someone going through puberty would drink when they're bone search I don't want to do any myth busting but drinking a gallon of milk every 36 hours does not make you strong and I don't know I got all this muscle all I do is lay around all day, but I drink a gallon of milk. I'm so buff. That's gross though.

I would not drink that much. I guess, yeah, I guess milk has calcium and protein in it. I remember when I first started staying over at friends places, like sleepovers and stuff. When you were heartless. When I was homeless. I remember being outraged and disgusted at breakfast when my friends would eat their cereal,

finish their cereal, and then drink the bowl of milk. I'll drink the cereal water, because cereal water. But no, it's cereal water. That's all great. That's what it is. Did I just call it milk cereal water? Yeah, it did.

It's a drink market. Soil it. But it was, like at my residence, we would eat the cereal and then it would be left over milk and you just put that on down the drain But they would like lift it up and chug it and it's fruitlose It is it's like just sugary it's sugary milk. It's pretty gross But as a kid I was horrified, but now it's an adult like if I go to New York. I got a milk

Milk bar that yeah, they have like cereal milk ice cream and it's delicious, so I've come around We're really proud of you. I remember when I was a kid I mean that at friend's house and they would eat spaghetti and they would like take forks and spoons and like Troll the spaghetti on the spoon and eat it and I was like what the fuck cuz at my house It was like you make this spaghetti you put it down to dogs In an alley you take one in in their mouth and they're in the other mouth And then they kiss. They're going to kiss.

And to me to eat the spaghetti as a human is gross because that's for dogs to kiss. And then my childhood. I want to see a scene, JPC, you are young JPC. Yes. Aaron and I are two dogs that you found and you're trying desperately to recreate the lady in the tramp scene But we just won't let you have it. Okay. Okay, man. Here. Yeah. Come here. Oh, you want to treat you treat? Dog is ever full Are you full diet?

What the fuck oh, come on, okay? Okay, no treat. You don't want treats. What what do you want? Do you full? Diet. Diet. What the fuck? Oh, come on. Okay, okay. Treat, you don't want treats. What do you want? Do you have money? I have money. Alone time.

You want a long time? Alone time. Alone time. You want a load. There's some breathing room. Okay. So you want space. You just do.

Sure. What about you? Paperpick. Paperpick. Paperpick. You want PTO. I want PTO. Okay, and you're fine taking your alone time unpaid. Uh, well now I want PTO. Great, so you don't want to eat.

You and your guys. Well, hold on, hold on. No, it's talking about that, okay? First of all, there's no need. We're talking about that. There's no need for collective bargaining because I, uh, uh, uh, I, I treat you right, you know, I'm an employer, I have your best interest. Why is there a little table?

I'm sorry. Why a little table? We just, we just made you, oh, you know what what you want some time some a long time to go ahead sit down Just take a load off relax and look hey look at this big plate of spaghetti. What's that? Food for dogs anything's food for dogs dogs fuck you that stupid. Why is there's nut radius isn't here that'll kill us Not Rageus isn't here, that'll kill us. Also. Don't ask. Don't ask.

Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. This is my history So we're gonna kiss and we'll see you later. We'll flip I want the kisses Talks kiss me a confused boy Why you really go to town of the nut radius? Man nut radius that's a candy Yeah, it's Duh That's a candy. At a posh restaurant I was having dinner with a noted historian. We were discussing the relative merits of the life of Woodrow Wilson. When my friend turned to me and said, I'll tell you all you need to know about the character

of Woodrow Wilson, why he ran for president, and his own mother didn't even vote for him. Is that true? Of course it's true, he said. I know where else I speak. Nobody talks like that. That ended the discussion. I didn't realize until I arrived home that although my friend spoke the truth, I had been tricked. How had I been misled? The mom was dead. That's a good guess. The doctor was the mother. It's not correct, but that is a good guess. So this was supposed to be a

posh restaurant, but it was actually David Beckham. I was going to school. Yeah. Yeah. Did the food. Yeah, he is a story from H.C. You want to get with me? I'm at a lesson.

I'm a link. His mother couldn't vote. She was a fellow. You're half right. Thank you very much. I need somebody when I use a spice girl song. uh... uh... felon uh... you're half right uh... is that a spice girl song? hey you

always on the right uh... i don't know what to say we would draw Wilson was would draw Wilson in the spice girls yes which one was he uh... babies definitely the funniest one we was was no would draw Wilson wasn't the one who was non-native born, right?

Was Woodrow Wilson, his mother was not American, so she couldn't vote for him. Yeah. Um, no. Dammit. His mother was dead. No. His mother.

No. His mother. She could not. She wasn't dead. She wasn't a non-U.S. citizen. She was in prison. She wasn't a fellow. She was not a voting age. His mom was 15 years old. She had Benjamin's buttons. Benjamin's buttons disease. I don't know. You were I mean, you're right that she couldn't vote, but I just need the why. She didn't have any hands or eyes. That's what it was. Yeah.

She couldn't vote because because women did not have the right to vote. Yeah. That's what it was. Yep. She couldn't vote because women did not have the right to vote. Yeah. That's what it is. Wow, fuck that. Of course, Woodrow Wilson's mother did not vote for her son. She couldn't. Women didn't have the right to vote before in 1920. Their first woman, in fact, to cast a vote for her son, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, is

presidential election. In a presidential election was Sarah Delano Roosevelt. Wow. SDR. Can I see a scene? And Adel, you're one of the spice girls. You can pick which one and I'll be another one. And JPC, you were gonna be like the sixth spice girl,

but we couldn't agree on who you were gonna be. Okay. So this is all that's happening in the discussion. Right, so have you given any more thought to what your name's going to be? Yeah, like for instance, I'm five spies, yeah. But I'd like to cook. Yeah, but we might change that.

Well, no, I'm pretty set on it. Right, I think you're a little scary, so maybe that's the best way to do it. Is it my red hair? That scares you. Right, yeah. I'll just be ginger, because I like to cook. Alright, cool. Still, because I like to cook. What like to cook. I like to cook. Cool. Still because I like to cook.

What do you like to do? I was thinking I could be returning these peppers space. Because I didn't need these peppers. You can't return groceries, right? Yeah, especially cook them. If you go to the grocery store. I think I can. I think I'm well worth it my reds to go and return these.

I did cook them in, but they last all their moisture. I'm really only interested in the baby for the moisture. How about you be jarpissed spice? I'm zary. You be jarpissed spice? Right, so I'll have sporty, ginger, scary, baby, posh, and... Jarpiss?

I don't know. I mean, do we really need passion, passion, zary? Good job. Right, well then fine. I'm pos Push and then you'll be Piss. No, I know who they are, but I think we don't need both of them. So maybe Push takes her as to get to get to the curb. Right, no. Piss, you get out of here. No.

Hold on. Let's have the T- let's have the rest of the squad vote. All those in favor of having piss-based members makes girls think I am a little baby. It's not that we do have an audition that you haven't passed yet. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? You have to tell us a story from A to Z. Meaning, you tell us a story, starts with the letter A, each word. There's a cavity board game. Is he sure of room game? Yeah, this is based on the game from Carton's books. Sure.

Whenever you have a, a woman gave birth to me, a little baby child. You've already failed. No, it's over with A. A woman. I mean, every word, it's over. You said every word it is, it was every sentence. No, it's over with A. A woman. I mean, everywhere, it starts with... You said every word it's in, it was every sentence. No, every word. A baby caused...

Duh. Same. A baby caused the elephant. Forget. Oh, that would be very difficult Let's do one more riddle Ooh a little riddle that's a fun change of pace for the show Here we go No, no man curing three croquet balls comes to a swinging bridge

Tails all this time. Yes, swinging bridge Imagine a bridge. No, it's swinging. Got it. You put your keys in the bull, baby. Is that bridge you go to keep already? No, I'm very monogamous with my bridge. Take so much.

A man carrying three croquet balls comes to a swinging bridge. The bridge is not very sturdy. Assigned by the bridge states that it cannot hold more than 175 pounds. The man weighs 171 pounds and each of the croquet balls weighs 2 pounds. The man merely shrugs and carries the 3 croquet balls across the bridge. Why doesn't the bridge collapse? It says it can't hold more. Can't hold more than 175 pounds. He's 171 pounds. Each ball and he has three is two pounds.

I know. It costs two pounds. It costs two bands. It's of sparse scales. I actually know the answer this so I don't know. Will I will revoke my right to give any answers. Aaron, I don't know if this will be fun. Fucking try. Aaron, I don't know if this will be fun. Fucking try. There I have a note for you. I'm fucking give it your best, did that make sense?

I get that a lot. You can call it a lump a lot. So really? Like a lazy lump. By who? A lot of people. Is it this fucking gallon, drinking, swinging, or something?

Yeah. Adel, let me ask you this. No. Would the man's profession, or even hobby, help ascertain the right answer to this question? Absolutely not. Okay, never mind. Dugling. Yeah, it is.

He's juggling. The man is juggling croquet balls. The man carrying the three croquetke cables is a jug la. That man looks like an idiot. He keeps at least one croquet ball in the air at all time. And also, as we all know, weight limits are good plus or minus zero pounds. So a weight limit on a bridge that says 175 pounds,

that's a hard limit. We're meaning all of it. We're in limit. We specifically engineered, it's like an iPhone, it's planned up a lesson, they specifically engineered the bridge to break. At 176. I like to see a scene.

And JPC and I, we are too very fancy, Croquet, rich people. Yes. And Adel, you're here too, and you want to start juggling them. And we want to play Croquet as it's meant to be played. Oh, yes. Well, how the fuck do you play this game? Well there's little white little things that you put into the grass.

And then you have these little mallets that you definitely don't kill your husband with. And then you rip them through. Hey what are you all I have an aunt? Oh we're playing Cookeid. No, what? You're playing what? Cookeid. Oh, those little bread things in salads?

No. No, there's a coutons. They're playing rich-game cookeid. Oh, those like alien subspecies that Warf is? No. Those would be what is Wolf. Hmm, is... How did you get into the country club?

We don't look like a framerown here. Hold on Denise, what's the name of the fence? Click on, yes. I'm done with that game. You couldn't keep up, so I left it behind. That's barely a game. Yeah, we're playing Cockept. I have been to, we have a third little stick that we hit with.

So we might have joined us. No, I think I'll just, do you mind if I take these balls or these balls up for guys? Well, you can take these. That's my good man. No, I'm saying it. Oh, planters. Hell yeah, I'll take them. Yeah, isn't he? And they still got the seal on it. Yeah, open it up. I'm sure it's not jobpiss. Okay. Oh, it's a jar of piss.

Yes, it is. We're really drinking to stay out. We're insane. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, why why why why you drink your own Piss not your own piss why would we drink not read anything like when is Yes, I'm gonna drink others piss. Oh, yes This is a real thing you drink often piss my dear boy. Yes a couple lights ago I got a real dip on to deep onto a piss drinking Twitter

Really sauce and things I wish I hadn't have seen. You went on Pitter? Yes. Anywho, the balls in the stink matchup would probably... Wait, no, you don't get to say anywho after you just say you drink orca piss. Orca piss. That's too expensive. That's way too hard to find. I wish I could drink orca piss.

Oh yes. What caviar is is what are here. Caviar? Well, that's actually wrong. Stupid Yeah, what is caviar? Why do you want these balls? I thought I? Have a little party trick. I do you want to see it? Do you put them inside you so? No, no, I love to see you put these balls inside I do what you're going to do I love to see you put these balls inside you do what you're going to do you're two-pound gag ball okay

and heard has it quite gotten a single one of them down Isn't that kind of fun oh that was fun hey you all sound like the spas girls who us who us mm-hmm are you British, sort of a British Connecticut mix? Yeah, what can I just do? Well-feel, I believe is the answer. This is a rich accent. Can you understand? Inbready has a drinking piece of the pipe.

It's taken a lot of D2s. Or since I called it out, it's taken all kinds of D2s. I don't think it was quite defined, is it, Pula? I would say you'd find and we're Bradley and my hair is blunt. What? All I heard was Milton Bradley. I didn't hear the rest. She said, we like to make vines.

We do Milton Bradley. Hey, y'all know, Varn is done. What? You're all done. It's all the TikTok. Is it? Kesha. Mm-hmm.

Oh, man. Does anybody have anything to promote? Oh, wow. Does anybody have anything to promote? Oh, wow. Yeah. I was going to promote the death of all wealthy people. So the mass death of all billionaires, that would be something that I would promote. I would promote eating their corpses. And if you want you want to know you just killed Oprah, right?

No, I think that yeah, if it's all billionaires could go. Yeah, we're gonna catch we're gonna catch some good apples But we're gonna and you know you also just killed the show billions on showtime. No Not billions what will Paul Giamatti do? And the guy from home land, you know Red Hat, Red Hat Homeland. What's he gonna do? Even. You can follow me on Twitter at JPsoFly or follow me on Instagram at SharkBarkman, Aaron.

Follow me, Aaron Keith 10 on Instagram. Also come to World News tonight at IO in Chicago at 8 and 10 30 on Saturdays. A lot of Hey Riddle Reddle fans have been coming and it's really nice when you stay after and say hi and we can talk to you. Yeah, and sometimes we're on stage doing scenes and out in the audience we see people wearing our merch and it's very exciting. I will say we've met a dozen or so fans afterwards. It's been phenomenal.

If you come to the show and you stay after, please come up and say hi to us. I know recently I was there for like 20 minutes after a show and then went home and then Aaron was like, are you still here? There's fans, they want to meet us. And I'm like, I headed home. So please.

Yeah, we recently had that family from DC. I think Sam was the dad's name. We'll never remember the dad's name. I remember. I'm not. I'm a name doctor. Um, but they flew from DC to see us and they were so, so nice. They were so mad. They're like, we flew from DC and you all were. We were all there. So yeah, if you're in the Chicago area come to the show hang out afterwards bring 18 bucks We'll let you touch Aaron's hair You can follow me on social media at Adderify You can email the show if you have a ready or pussy you would like us to read on the air you can email us at HRR podcast us at HRR podcast at gmail.com. You can become a member of the Clue Crew by joining our Patreon for only $5 you unlock.

Jo-joo! Aaron, shut up. I have brilliant post control. You can run train on the Clue Crew. Oh no. Patreon.com. Yeah, we're on Patreon. So just come check it out.

For $5 you get every single Friday we release a new bonus episode. It's about an hour long. It's like this, but a little bit different. And a lot funnier because you have to pay for it. Yeah, and you can't complain about us not doing many riddles. We're protecting ourselves, but still having fun. So check that out. I think that's about it. Aaron, in the Sims, I know that sometimes you would like build a house and make a family, and then a family would go out into the backyard, look up in the night sky, and they'd see a certain planet and say, come on, Jupiter! Aaron David And John Patrick Collins P.A.K.S. Nighter to D.H.E. And P.A.R.D. P.A.R.D.

And P.A.R.D. And P.A.R.D. Vocal created by M.O.B. Cargamus And M.O.A.D. Moris R.I.T.O.R.D. R.I.T.O.R. R.I.T.O.R.D.

Yom That was a hitgun podcast. That was a headgun podcast.