Hey Riddle Riddle - #312: Answer Hogs w/ Katie Rich!

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Oink Oink BitchStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Katie RichEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm on a horse and I'm riding! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Hey, JPC. Hey, JPC.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. It's the library, man, so we're... Oh, that's why I'm with... that's why I'm... um, Soto Voce. Yeah, that's why I'm Soto Voce. Yeah, that's why I'm not Soto Maior, or whatever you said. I did say Soto Maior. I think Erin's- Well, why not? You don't think you should say the name of the first woman Supreme Court Justice?

No, I think we should, but I don't think I should claim to be her. That feels counter- Gotcha. She was probably the third. Listen, Erin's really nervous about our guest today. Oh yeah. She's kind of folded herself onto one of the racks and she's pretending to be a book.

And when you walk by her, she says, I'm a book, I'm a book. So I don't know if she's gonna be on the episode today. Are my ears burning? I'm a book. Books don't have ears, Erin. Try like cover, my cover is burning or? No, don't say cover's burning. That sounds like you have like a STI

or something like that, you know? Well, don't I? Okay, you know what guys, I'm actually a little too nervous. I'm gonna sit this episode out. No, Aaron, no. Aaron, no. The guest is so nice today.

Like couldn't be nicer. It's gonna be such a warm, cozy blanket for us and for you and for the show. Aaron, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. She's here? I hope so. She came. She finally came.

She knows who I am. Wow, nobody said that. Oh. Well, okay, well then maybe I can dust myself off. Aaron. Jump off the shelf. Oh, God. Jesus, cool. I was on the show for like 20 years.

No one wanted to read me. Your jacket is so dusty. Um, Aaron, our guest today is one of the funniest people to ever come through the Chicago improv scene. Mm-hmm. She's making a face. A wild thing to say to somebody. To put them on the spot?

She's a writer for Harley Quinn, the animated show, which is so frickin' hilarious, and the upcoming spinoff Kite Man, hell yeah, it's Katie Rich. Woo! Woo! Hello, Katie. Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody.

Hey, everybody. Hey, Katie. Uh, hey, I'm sorry I'm not sowing you soda mayor, and, uh, but I do have diabetes, so it's kind of like I am. That was a very good apology, Katie. Was that good? No, it was fantastic.

I actually don't have diabetes, but I do have pre-diabetes, so that's probably, I'm well on my way. Congratulations. I wanted to say pre-diabetes can still get you pregnant, but I don't necessarily know if that's true of pre-diabetes. I don't wanna make- I can, but the baby is not quite right. Yeah, the baby has pre- pre-diabetes. I don't want to make... I can, but the baby is not quite right.

The baby has pre-pre-diabetes. Yeah. It's like a frosted little cookie. Katie, thank you so much for being here. Oh, thank you so much for having me. All jokes aside about me being nervous for this, I am so nervous for this because I think I mentioned this when Holly was on the show. So when I moved to Chicago, you and Holly came back and you did a two person improv show and it ignited an obsession in me. And when I made a Harold team and we had to go around and say our favorite improvisers, I said, you and Holly, and I've seen you several times

since seen you open for Cook County. I loved all the stuff you guys did for second city. So this is a very, very big deal to me. My brain is kind of exploding. So a couple things, Erin, that is honestly the nicest thing ever. And I am going to put that in my breast pocket because every day I Google if I'm too old to take the LSAT and the response is usually like, you're on the line there. You got 20 more minutes. I know, like seriously bitch, get going.

If you hurry, yeah, if you hurry. You're about to have diabetes. But thank you, that means the world and yeah, that's the greatest thing someone can tell you is that you inspired them to bring more joy into the world. Yeah, I'm the house that you and Holly built. And so the comedy I do is your fault. Wow. Quite the carcass to lay at somebody's feet

as a cat, I guess. Well, that's a gift. And I thank you. I should just say thank you and accept it and move on and not try to talk about how I'm actually bad at things. Oh, we lost the JPC. That's okay. He's already like, she's the worst, I'm leaving.

He got really upset because it's not about him. I think he thought he was my favorite improviser. He's sobbing behind that black curtain. Really reframed. That's a real white guy thing to do. Now, Katie, we do have to ask all of our guests legally. Yes, I know. What is your relationship with riddles, puzzles,

lateral thinking problems, even something like crosswords or escape rooms? What are your feelings? How many have you done? Okay, love a crossword, big fan. Still do them every day. My father saves them from the Tribune and I do them analog. I think a crossword on your computer is like watching fireworks on television. It's just, it's not the same. Wow. I like that analogy.

And thank you so much. And JPC, sorry, I offended you. I know you're sensitive. Whatever you did to make my dog so fucking pissed off, I don't get it. I don't like it. Can I tell you what I did? Can I tell you what I genuinely did? I had this high a voice. My physical therapist has a dog who is 20

and has never heard. And when I come in, the dog like looks up like, I hear something and that's not a joke. So I am a dog whistle, but not in the way that you think it is. Yeah, JPC texted me, man, our guest is really shrill today. And I said, no, JPC, not the turn of the clock. Well, I say that for every woman who comes on the show.

So. Thank you. Fuck. No, you're doing better. I did, yeah, I'm doing better. I had good news for you, Katie. What is it? Because I did Google it when you said it.

And it looks like one in five law school students are 30 or older. Wow. So I'm one in five. That's not great. You can be part of the 20%. No, that's not great. One in five. And listen to this. There's a, I don't know, according to this website, Alice Thomas graduated from the University of Pacific with George School of Law at 79 years old. So age is just a number when it comes to law school. Why did she do that though? Also, there's too many names in your school.

Yeah, I've never heard of that one either. So that sounds like a, yeah, it sounds like maybe. That bitch had dementia and they told her that you got a law degree from something. Honey, you got a law degree. I did. Yeah, you got one. From where?

The longest name a university has ever had. Oh, I'm so happy. My husband would be so proud if he didn't die in the Iraq war. Old husband. Yeah, makes sense. So yeah, so that's that. So you do crosswords. I do.

I love a crossword. I'll do a wordle. You know, I'll do a situation like that. I have to tell you when it comes to riddles, I pour to middling. I'm not great at them. I'm not like the most like logical of people, I'll be honest. Yeah, you're gonna fit in perfectly here.

I feel like it. But I'm very nervous because I feel, I was talking to your sister who I love and she met- My sister? You found her? No, your sister still wants nothing to do with you. Adel's sister. And she was like, I was like,

I'm very nervous to be on the show cause I'm kind of stupid. And she was like, don't worry. Drew Tarver was just on the show and he said he was stupid. And I was like, if Drew Tarver thinks he's stupid, then I'm in gonna worry. Drew Tarver was just on the show and he said he was stupid. I was like, if Drew Tarver thinks he's stupid, then I'm in great company. Yeah. Yeah.

People will come on and they'll be worried. They'll be like, oh, I'm gonna feel put on the spot and I'm not gonna know the answer to these. Then we are so much dumber. I can speak for us guys, right? I'm not insulting you. We are so much dumber than every guest we've ever had on the show. You'll immediately feel okay.

Challenge accepted. The only person who stepped to the plate and knocked out of the park was Mark McConville. Who's like, I've never done a single riddle in my life or escape room or anything. And then he got everyone within seconds. So we're all striving to top that. He is not invited back.

I've never done an escape room. That sounds like awful to me, actually. Oh, doing an escape room sounds awful to me. I thought you were commenting on the thing that you had just said and you were like, I've never done an escape room. And you're like, I need to back off of that because that sounds awful. Like I'm like an escape room elitist. But you, the situation of going into an escape room sounds like anathema to you. And again, I don't want to make you feel unwelcome. I just learned about the word anathema. I don't ever.

I was gonna say, I think anathema is my healthcare plan. It's that Steve Coogan movie where he's a puppet, right? Yeah, it's actually the song that Francis Scott Key wrote. Hey, Aaron, you got one? Let's see. It's like a... And we see time slow down as Erin goes to her mind palace. Anathema, anathema.

Anathema, anathema. Can you use it in sentence please? Yes, Erin. Can I have the language of origin? Erin, what do you think anathema is? It's technically a sentence. Erin, by the way, peek behind the, like a bad cop a kid gets. Yes, that's wonderful. It's a disease. It's coming back due to lack of vaccination.

Exactly. Oh, that's good. I just blacked out for four seconds after. I'm sorry to say, Mr. Davenport, that young Terry has anathema. Oh no, he's coughing up blood? We're gonna have to put leeches on his balls and a little hammer on his neck. Just let him die, I have 14 other kids. A little hammer, a little hammer. A hammer?

A little hammer. A little hammer. Well, let's get into some, Katie, if you approve, we will get into some warm up riddles. I don't dare say that these are easy. These are just some shorter riddles to get everyone acclimated. Sometimes they're harder.

Before you do that, can you do me a favor that you can happily edit this out? Anything. What do you define as a riddle? A riddle is something that when said, makes you curious, and then when answered makes you furious. Did you just make that up? I did.

But I think- That was pretty fucking great. I feel like we should, that's it. That's the episode. What are you gonna do that's better than that? I agree. I feel like I shouldn't be impressed by that because we've done 300 of these episodes,

but I really am. I know, me too. That's really good. Is this our last episode? Katie, I think you're on our last episode. We solved it. You truly, like that was wonderful, especially in the stabbing cabin that you're recording from. This is where I take all of my mistresses,

my stabbing cabin. All right, let's get into a riddle. So there's riddles which are gonna be, you know, like something, something, the doctor was the mother. There's like, I guess that's more lateral thinking. It's all- Sometimes it's just puns. They're all over the map.

Okay, all right, I like this. All right, so let's get into one we can see. Katie, we can check in and see how you're doing. Okay. Here's the first one. I have horses, a cat, and even a trunk. What am I? I have horses, a cat, and even a trunk.

A zoo. Now Katie, that is a logical response. Logical. And a very good guess, but riddles are silly little demons. So that is incorrect for this specific riddle. I'm gonna say something dumb. Okay. Yes. A car.

Erin, it's a car. It's a car. It is? Yes. Yes. The horses are horsepower. The cat is a catalytic converter. And a trunk is for your luggage. Now here's where I got issues with that, man. Cause you're using slang.

Like the cat. Wait, wait, wait. The cat. Who the fuck says that? Also, a trunk is for your luggage. What? Are they saying like a, that's not what a trunk of a car is for, right? For luggage? I guess so. Where do you put your luggage?

Well, I put my luggage in the back seat because I have a hatchback and I don't like opening the hatchback when I go to the airport, but still. Why? You think, why? Do you feel like you're judged? No, I feel like, well, maybe a little bit, but I feel like people linger too fucking long at the airport when they're dropping off. I like to be as quick as fucking possible when I get to the airport. I like that.

It's like in and out and then you're going. I was waiting to be picked up the other week from Disney. We were waiting to be picked up by her dad who was in town. There was a young man who was dropping, it looked like his parents off at the airport. They each did three hugs. I was like, I got to be honest with you. If you love hugging this much as a family, you gotta do some hugging at home. Like, do a pre-dinner hug, you know? Do some, spread your hugging out. Don't put it all at the airport. Three hugs is too much.

Well, they were gonna, they passed away that night. Wow. Yeah. Did you see, how do you feel now? I told you now, don't you feel bad? I still feel like you're gonna get up to heaven, Saint Peter's gonna get out his clipboard, and he's gonna be like, okay, okay, three hugs.

Okay. What's going on with three hugs? Saint Peter famously hates PDA. He hates it. Now I do wanna see a scene. Oh, can I just say really quick before you do that? I do love that the first riddle made you curious and then furious, right on cue.

That's what I'm saying. He's like, Adel, I don't know, man. You're, that's great. You could just go in and pitch that something. I don't know. That's something, write that down. That's something. I have a meeting with YouTube Red in a week.

We'll see how that goes. I think they're still around. Probably not. Sure, why not? I do wanna see a scene. JPC and Katie, you are a couple looking to buy a car. Aaron, you are a car salesperson and you're kind of panicking

because you don't know what you're supposed to be. You're not knowledgeable enough about the lot and you're kind of using slangs or terms that maybe aren't common knowledge. Okay, I need your help here, honestly, because I mean, like I know that these guys are slick. I know that they're gonna sell me, you know, and I will just say yes to anything.

So you really have to like rein me in because I'm just so scared that they're gonna take me for everything here. No, honey, let's go up to, look at how sweet she is. Let's go up to her. Oh, she works here. There's nothing slick about her. about her. She works. Well, she just looks like so yeah Come on. Hello We are looking for we're looking to upgrade our car cuz um, we're I'm actually pregnant. Oh

Your family is expanding how exciting? Yeah, we're trying to get like a you know Maybe something like SUV territory because we'll need a little more, and I'm sorry, you can finish your pudding. Are you on like a pudding? That's what this is. I've been testing it and tasting it the last seven minutes and I couldn't make heads or tail of what this is, pudding?

There is a film on that that can only be developed through time. Yes, what? Well, that mystery is solved. You said SUV what? SUV, like a larger vehicle. A safe, larger vehicle. More seats, yeah.

Yeah. Are you two college professors? You know all sorts of crazy words. This is wild. OK, well, he actually is, which is wild. I am a college professor, yeah. I teach philosophy. The philosophy of funk music, I should say.

Well, that's garbage nothing. Walk with me over here. Okay, I like her. Okay, I hope life's work. This is a boat or a hat or a house or, this is a car, I think. This is your desk. Going through the top. This is your desk. I think this is a desk. Well why is there a wheel on it? Well that's a computer. Oh so I do have one. I

screamed at my grandsons the other week for not giving me a computer. Oh well you know what we were actually interested in the Highlander. We saw the Highlander out on the floor. I'm not I'm not sure. Is that a movie? Well there can be only one. Yes, the Highlander was a movie, yes. So you so you get that Highlander is a movie but you didn't realize what you were consuming. You contain multitudes, ma'am. You two are still here? I thought you left like a year ago. What the heck? So tell me how to download Minecraft on this wheel.

Okay, actually it's pretty easy. You go to minecraft.org and My wife is a computer programmer. So this is kind of her bread and butter. That's bullshit nonsense. Well, I mostly program funk music on computers. There are three jobs. Ask us how we met. Lawyer, doctor, and teacher. Ask us how we met.

How did you meet? So, my computer crashed. Online. Online. Online. YouTube comments. We met in the YouTube comments. I love that if we zoomed into Aaron's character's brain, it's just like, oh, I'm going to be

a computer guy. I'm going to be a computer guy. I'm going to be a computer guy. I'm going to be a computer guy. I'm going to be a computer guy. I'm on that scene. YouTube comments, we met the YouTube comments. I love that if we zoomed into Aaron's character's brain, it's just two mice fencing. Yeah, which is so cute. So cute, adorable. Give us another riddle, we'll definitely get this one. If I don't get a riddle today, it's gonna be a bad day.

Katie, I've never said this before to a guest, we're gonna keep this episode going until you get a riddle today, it's gonna be a bad day. Katie, I've never said this before to a guest. We're gonna keep this episode going until you get a riddle. Honestly, yeah, strap in, audience. Strap in, audience. I don't know. Okay, here's one. What goes from Z to A? And Katie, I'll give you a hint.

Your guess for the last question has something to do with the answer. That was 100 years ago. What goes from Z to A? Pizza. Now, Katie, you said zoo last time. This is correlated to a zoo. What goes from Z to A?

Zebra! It's a zebra. We can end the episode, everybody. We're going home. See you later. How is it that pizza? That's sweet, because pizza doesn't start with a Z. What?

What have I been eating? Oh no, you've been eating that pudding that's been out for too long. Unless it's Zostinos. Oh yeah, Zostinos is pretty good. When you're in college and you're on a budget, there's nothing like some Zostinos. Oh, I love Zostinos. Zostinos is pretty good. When you're in college and you're on a budget, there's nothing like some Zostinos pizza rolls. That's what I'm saying.

I have many sisters, yet I am an only child. Can you explain this? You're a nun. Katie, bullshit, two for two. Is that real? Well, here's what they say in the answer. Wait, am I allowed to answer? I'm being a hog.

No, not at all. Answer hog, and I'm sorry about that. You gotta answer when you know it and you knew it. Erin, when you're presented with slop, you have to be a hog. That's what I'm saying. Riddles are junk. Tapping the answer hog welcome side here.

We love an answer hog. And I think that's a new term for our listeners is answer hogs. Answer hogs? Oh, I love that. To all you answer hogs out there, oink oink. Hope you got it right. Here's what I'll say, whenever people want to be like,

I can't believe they missed this or you have the correction for this, you have to first call yourself an answer hog. You have to say, I'm an answer hog and I can't believe they didn't get this riddle that I got. You can do that as much as you want as long as you cop to the fact that you're an answer hog And you cop to the fact that you're at home and there's no pressure Yeah, well, I don't know about your home life, but

I'd like to see a scene The three of you are nuns Katie. You're a new kind of younger nun that has some unconventional ideas, and Adol and JPC are a little bit prickled by her presence. So this is my room! Oh, very, very loud. Climps the Kiss, that's uh, that's pornography, RIPStone poster. Oh, oh, oh. Um, okay, I just thought, you know, it might be nice to have a little bit of a brightness in here as well

Well we prefer Sister Teresa and I we prefer dour as our sort of aesthetic. Oh Where are you from dear Nashville? from, dear? Nashville. Oh, yes. Oh, that must be it. Sister Euclid and I couldn't help but notice the habit that you're wearing looks a little different from the habits that we're wearing.

They're supposed to be, how to put this in delicately, frumpy. Yes. But mine is actually spanks. So it makes your head a little bit... It really accentuates the natural curves. Yes, very shapely. Is it a bootcut habit? Yes, that's back.

Skinny habits are kind of out. You know, you don't want to get branded as a millennial nun. Speaking of skinny habits, by the mirror on your table here, it seems like you have a cocaine habit as well. I wouldn't call it a habit so much as a lifestyle. Yes, well, you know, here at the convent, well, go ahead and finish, yeah. We prefer downers, so it's important that you,

once you're done with the cocaine that you brought, that you transition to the monk wine that the monks make. Because, you're really finding that very funny. I'm just saying, if you want to see God, you got to shove this up your nose. No, no, no, no, no, we should not. We haven't done that since, well, Sister Teresa, what do we call Rum Springer for nuns?

What's that called again? Nun Springer? It's called Nun Springer, we both got there. Not since Nun Springer. Seen, seen, seen. Wait, Nun Springer, why are we not writing that musical? Yeah. It's like Sister Act meets Jumbo Wumba?

Katie, I want it on my desk by Monday morning. You got it! I just need some of that sweet, sweet nun cocaine. I guess I always have kind of been fascinated by the musicals that open up. And everyone's like, that's a terrible idea for a musical. And then it stays open for 36 hours. Like men.

Then it closes. Oh, I thought you were going to say the ones where you're like, this is a terrible idea. And then it runs for 20 years, like Men hours. It closes. Oh, I thought you were gonna say the ones where you're like, this is a terrible idea and then it runs for 20 years, like Menopause the musical. Like, why didn't I write that? Like that's that. Defending the caveman. Cats. Cats. I got it.

That was there for 12 years. Both of those are equally wild, but the situation in which it gets shut down after 36 hours, it's only wild in the fact that there are musicals that run for 20 years and you're like, why? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I hate musicals. I do really enjoy it, oh please. I hate musicals. Katie, no. I know, and that makes people sad. And I lived in New York for many years, full brag. Oh, I miss it.

The culture. And I only saw two musicals the entire time I was there. What were they? We gotta hear what they are. I saw three Broadway shows. Two were musicals. Would you like to guess? Hamilton, one of them?

Hamilton, I guess. Never have seen Hamilton in my life. Would rather die. Almost got in a fist fight with someone because I said I would rather have a beer with Trump than Lin-Manuel Miranda. Almost got in a fist fight. Oh my God.

Incredible. You know what? I will say, I agree with you. But also because Trump doesn't drink, so I would love to see Trump drink a beer. I think that that would be an excellent thing. He would also hate it. He would be so catty about it.

I'd love to see him drink a Miller light and just be like, like hating the entire thing. Katie, can we get what years you lived in New York? So that that might help. Oh, okay. Wow. You're a real music head. Date ahead. No, no, I don't know any musicals.

2013 to 2019. Okay. What if I was like 1975 to... All right, 2013 to 2019. Okay. What if I was like 1975 to... All right, 2013 to 2019. Okay, so let's see, musicals from that era. I don't know any musicals. So I will say Robert and Hammerstein and I will say... Robert and Hammerstein?

Robert and Hammerstein? Not real. And I will say The Prince Musical. Those are the two that I will say. Oh, I wish I, The Prince Musical. Those are the two that I will say. Oh, I wish I saw The Prince Musical. The Prince Musical is, you're not in the wrong direction. Okay, so it's a jukebox musical. Yes, which I learned the title of,

which I learned the genre at the musical. Okay. I don't know one of those. No. Okay. Mamma Mia. No. Damn it.

Motown. No. Give us,ma Mia. No. Damn it. Motown. No. Give us, can we get a hint? Did Springsteen have a musical? He had a solo show that was fantastic. I wouldn't go. Yeah. Hmm.

Not even for New Jersey's own? The gentlemen. Jersey Boys? No. The gentleman who this is based on recently passed away. This is Sondheim? Neil Diamond. No. No. No, he's alive.

Oh my God, you're a witch. Well, it all goes as planned. Wait, I just got a breaking news text. No, no, no, no, no. Was this Rumsfeld the musical? Yes. No, it was Escape to Margaritaville, the Jimmy Buffett musical

that I saw in Chicago and on Broadway. And then twice? That's why you hate musicals. No, and then the second one I saw was SpongeBob the musical, and I loved it. I heard that one was good. Loved it. So wait, you hated one and you loved the other,

but you hate musicals? No, I loved the Jimmy Buffett musical. Wait a minute, Katie, you see three musicals. Why would she go see Jimmy Buffett twice if she didn't like the music of Jimmy? Because those aren't musicals. To me, I don't like it when like you and I are talking and then someone's like, here's what I feel. Like I just, and if, if I have to be honest,

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that in high school I couldn't sing. And so when it came time for the spring musical, I was always fucking Yenta, or you know what I mean? Like I was the one that didn't sing. Yenta? Every year I was Yenta, we never did Fiddler on the Roots. Could I be, could I be... And Erin, how does it make you feel that your precious hero,

your precious God, worships at the altar of JPC? How does it make you feel to have another musical hater on the podcast? I guess I do have to rethink everything. I think I sort of have to re-talibrate the last ticket of my life. No, you don't. No, no, no. I know that I'm wrong. I wish I could enjoy them. All of my favorite people were people who couldn't sing in high school and had to have parts written for them. One of my best friends, Elizabeth, when she was in high school, they did Susical, and they cast her as Thing One,

which is not a part in the musical, and she just moved the set funny in between scenes. Yeah, great. And she's hilarious. And Thing Two got a solo, correct? Yes, Thing Two, they made a star. Thing Two is a huge part of that musical. So she was Kurt Russell from The Thing,

the sequel, where he's invested. You said Kurt Russell, and when Katie said escape, I was like, did she see Escape from LA? Oh, that'd be dope. Well, let's take a break to write Escape from. Basketball, I play one-on-one basketball, snake-plisskin style. Never mind, we don't need a break, we wrote it. We wrote it, yeah, I mean.

But let's take a break to, I don't know, get an actuary or a notary or whoever to a lawyer to say, hey, don't, copyright. That's what I'm thinking, you can have a copyright person. And we'll be right back with more riddles with Katie Rich. One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle. Yeah. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! RETRO BREAKDOWN

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They just want you to hit it one more time exactly like you did it the first time. Ooh, triangles, circles, rectangles, I lost it. And it's the theme. Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee Okay, okay, that's enough, we can't do any more of that. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. case, you know, the angels speak a different language.

Yeah, and we don't know what space angel, like you know how like in Star Wars, it's just called basic, that's like, it's like, you know, it's English basically, that's what we hear. I don't know what the space angel basic is, right? So it's like, you gotta be prepared with Babel to learn as many, because of course,

Babel doesn't offer space angel, no one's ever learned it. No one's ever spoken. Yet. They just found that Rosetta Snow. They just uncovered part of it. I think we're getting close, but. The best way to learn a language, immersion, which is why I'm going to space, living where a language is spoken and using it every day. But if that's not in the cards this year, you can still learn a language the second best way. And that's with Babbel. Yeah. You got to be a better you in 2024. The science-backed language learning app Babbel actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. Babbel's quick 10-minute lessons are handcrafted by over

200 language experts to help you start speaking the language in as little as three weeks. And Babbel's designed by real people for real conversations. And that will definitely come in handy when you get in your real rocket, go up to real space and talk to those real space angels who are holding Aaron. I don't think captive, but like the nice captive, like guests, they're holding Aaron guest. I love Babbel because their courses are so convenient and they actually help you with real-life conversation skills.

I have used Babbel and I've used it many times while traveling to communicate to people even if I'm not fluent in any language. It does actually just feel way nicer to be able to like say and understand basic phrases in a foreign language so that people don't think that you're just like a I don't know a person who gave no effort before exploring their country. Locals appreciate it. Yes.

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slash Riddle. Rules and restrictions may apply. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Oh yeah oh man the time is at 3 p.m. You know what? You know what really hit the spot right about now? Oh, yeah. What do you want? I would love to tell someone about kind of my problems and my feelings. Oh, you too? Yeah. I get that as well. Like every once in a while, I just start feeling like, oh, I could really just, you know, just really kind of a spigot. Yeah. My, my experience is kind of like unpack the things that have gone in my mouth. Yeah, tap the maple. Talking about tap the maple, that's gonna bring up some of my trauma.

Ooh, I'm gonna start getting, I wanna say trauma hungry, but I don't think that that's... Ooh, how about we crack open a big can of BetterHelp? Oh, OK. So better help. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, why don't you give BetterHelp a try? It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited your schedule.

All you got to do is fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist, switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. And if you've never done online therapy, it works for old JPC. I like it because there's no waiting rooms. My therapist is pretty cool. They're pretty flexible with the schedule. I don't know about you guys, but some people

have babies at home. And sometimes the whole online therapy thing can be hard to schedule. But that's why I love using BetterHelp. Also, we should say Aaron floated away to the moon. Oh, yeah. Oh, my. That's one of the things that I was going

to bring up with my BetterHelp therapist about how Aaron floated away to the moon. But I don't want to like make all of our conversations about Erin, you know, floating away to the moon. Yeah. Yeah. Like two weeks ago, my Better Help therapist goes, Erin's real? And I was like, ah, boy, I got to restart. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, stop comparing and start focusing with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month.

That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle. JPC, does that mean she's a space angel now? Oh, buddy, yeah, it does. Hey, Adol, JPC, great party. Love the vibe, love the decorations, so cool. I'm gonna head out, I'm gonna go home. So nice seeing you, but great, great party. Wait, are you going home to your Helix sleep mattress?

Yes. I knew it, because the party started six minutes ago, Erin. Yeah, I just, I'm so tired and doesn't that sound so good? I have a midnight luxe and it's perfectly suited to my sleep needs. Why would I stay here another minute? Well, this is your birthday party

that you begged us to throw for you. But I guess if you wanna leave after six minutes to go sleep on your Helix Sleep mattress, it does make sense. I mean, they do personalize your mattress and ship it straight to your door free of charge, which is a pretty good deal. And Aaron, I don't know if you've noticed,

but we swapped out the floorboards for Helix Sleep mattresses. You're standing on one right now. Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by standing on it in a house, replacing the floorboards with a mattress, or by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100-night trial

and a 10 to 15-year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. And everybody is unique, and everybody sleeps differently, and that's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. I have the best mattress in the world. People compliment every time they sleep over

and sleep in my bed, everyone thinks it's the best mattress ever. Oh yeah, Casey was saying it was amazing. He said he accidentally kicked you out of bed. He was so comfortable. Yes, but that's a story for another time. Happy birthday to me. I'd rather hear it now.

And listen, don't take our word for it. Helix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It is even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine, and doctors of sleep-o medicine, thank you, Casey, as a go-to solution for improving your sleep. Plus, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress

orders and two free pillows. For our listeners, just go to helixsleep.com slash riddle. That's helixsleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Bye, all. Bye, AJBC. Happy birthday, our Zoom. Wow. She can really run. She can really run. She can really Zoom. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. All right, we have to come back and explore this. No, I don't want to.

I don't, I want, I don't, I want to be a consistent person who's easy to deal with. And we're back, and during the break, I put the screws to Katie and said, hey, you listened to two musicals, you said you loved them both. And she goes, I've actually seen three, I also saw screws to Katie and said, hey, you listed two musicals, you said you loved them both. And she goes, I've actually seen three, I also saw Hattiestown.

And I said, you hate it? She goes, no, I actually loved it a lot. So Katie Rich loved three out of three musicals and yet she hates musicals somehow. We don't have the time to unpack this. We have to- Now that's a riddle. Yeah. That's a true riddle.

Katie, you are on a roll, two for two out of the last three. Answer hog. Answer hog. Answer hog over here. So let's do another roll. Oink oink bitch. If you're an answer hog and you see us at a live show, please come up to us and say oink oink bitch. I guess I don't necessarily want someone to come up to me and say oink oink bitch.

Especially if I'm like with my wife or my child or something like that. But I, yeah, I guess if you want to do it, I won't stop you from doing it. But please just think about this. How about this? Oink, oink, baby. I like that. I like that a lot.

Yeah, I guess so. That's fine. But say it respectfully. Yeah, you're not like honk, honk. Yeah, it's like a, and it's almost like you're in church and you say, and also with you, whatever they say. Oink, oink, baby. Oink, oink, baby. And it's almost like you're in church and you say and also with you whatever they say I think also I will I will also respond to honk honk bitch

It's nice to meet you As well. All right. Here's another riddle kitty. We'll see if you can keep the streak alive Name something so easy to make that even children can make it yet yet it is invisible and no one can see it. Now I'll give you a hint. This word is in the title of the Neil Diamond musical. This is one of the two words that's in the Neil Diamond musical title. Can you read it again? Name something so easy to make

that even children can make it, yet it is invisible and no one can see it. A lie. Wow. Of course, JPC would guess that. I can't wait till my child is old enough to lie. The Neel... Alright. So you don't care about their first word, you care about their first lie. I care about their first fib, their first tall truth.

I don't really think I know that much about Neil Diamond. He's coming to America. So children can make it. And I would say even babies could make it. I would say animals can make it. Maybe all animals except for a giraffe were, I guess foxes do. What? All animals except for a giraffe or a... I guess foxes do. What?

All animals except for a giraffe make it? You admit it. Okay. A giraffe could make it. It's so much harder to say a giraffe or maybe a fox. Now I'm like so confused as to what this could be. A giraffe could make it, but it would probably make it by like

bumping into something. Not from its, not, it's not a... Noise? Yes, it's noise. Oh. As in the old diamonds musical it's not noise. Yes, it's noise As in the old diamonds beautiful noise Wait, wait make noise. What?

Giraffes can't make noise Katie. What sound is a draft make? Yeah classic, you know when the giraffes like We make they gotta make a noise. Chiming in as somebody who used to work at the zoo. Uh, and we would talk about drafts, drafts actually do make noise, but it's too low for the human ear to hear. That's real. But it travels like all across the savanna. But what, what is the noise? It's just like, you know, guttural kind of like, roll. Can you download it and play it? Is it like a Tibetan throat singing? I don't know about a throat singing necessarily more just like a hungry dinosaur.

The vibe that I'm getting is that giraffes have the opposite tonal quality of my voice. Which is that it bothers no one. You claim, Adol, that there is no one. You claim, Adol, that there is no god, but how can there be no god when the tallest animal makes the lowest noise? Okay, that, my friend, is what we like to call symmetry. I would like to hear a monologue from Adol of a giraffe upset with Adol for his words upon this program. Mm-hmm.

Yes. Okay, let me open my note here. This is an intervention for Adol, who wrongly assumes. Ahem. Does the dog bark? Does the cat meow? Do all of nature's little creatures, big and small, pronounce thus their eagerness vocalized through throat and mouth, through teeth and tongue. Have we not come so far?

Are we not caught and killed? Do we not provide and eat ourselves? And yet, the most gentle of giants, the longest of throats, You think we do not speak? For shame, Adol. For shame, you are forbidden from entering the giraffe kingdom. You are... What do the Amish call it? Um... You know like when you kick an Amish person out of the Amish?

What is that called? You are... Un-springer. What was it? Un-springer. You are- Unspringa. What was it? Unspringa. You are unspringed. You are unspringed from the giraffes. Go forth and make no noise from this day forward.

Snaps on neck. Snaps on neck. Wait, why did it end in Harakari? Yeah, I do think it's because the giraffes are an honor-bound species. Oh my God. Wow, that was beautiful. Also, Un-Springa, I mean, fantastic. It's like the Un-Kola.

A lot of people don't know, but the Amish language, Springa is their root word of their language, and don't email me. Jerry, Jerry Springa. But there is something where it's like when they're kicked out, what, there is a term for that. What is that? Is it like, uh, it's not like the John Wick ex communicato thing. Is it that's super Italian. I don't think there's any Italian. Hey, no electricity. I'm contacting our musical guy to see if he can secure Italian Amish. Katie, what percentage Italian are you?

I'm about 80%. I have like a little Irish, which is the paleness, but mostly Italian. Do you have a special, do you make any sort of like family recipe dish or anything? Do you have a special, do you make any sort of like family recipe dish or anything? I'm a terrible cook. I wish I would have learned and I just never listened. And now I try to listen to my dad, but I'm bad at it. It's not too late, like the LSAT, it's not too late. Well, I Googled, can you learn old family recipes too old?

And it was like, I see. And then it was like one in five people over 30 could learn. And I was like, those aren't great odds. Katie, when the recipe says dicey, it just means cutting it into kind of small. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Yeah. That's just a part of recipes. I don't. OK. You'll get out of a cook.

I am. OK, let's see how let's cook up some more reddles here and see how you do. Okay. When I'm alive, you bury me in the soil. When I'm dead, you dig me up. What am I? And don't overthink this.

When I'm alive, you bury me in the soil. When I'm dead, you dig me up. Is this like one of those like cooking like a luau pig? Don't they like do that with? Oh yeah, they do. No, they don't bury it alive, but they bury it for like three days before they cook it in the sand. You think a luau pig don't they like do that with oh yeah they don't bury it alive but they bury it for like three days before they you think a luau pig is alive holy shit excuse me i'm staying at the resort is there a scream coming from six feet under that pit over there hey guys thanks for the invite to the barbecue what is this hole well

we put a live pig in there and he is uncomfortable, but don't worry, he will smother to death and then we will excavate him and have a delicious meal. You'll have to make eye contact with the pig. Welcome to Maui Howies. If you've never been to the restaurant before, you're just gonna pick a pig that's wronged you and then we're going to torture him for three days

and serve him up to you. That's not a luau, that's a luau. Ah! Ah! When I'm alive, you bury me in the soil. for three days and serve them up to you. That's not a luau, that's a luah. When I'm alive, you bury me in the soil. When I'm dead, you dig me up. I mean, I do want to say like, this is like every plant that you would plant. Like, it's a... Nailed it. It is simply a plant. That's so stupid. No, no, I don't like that at all. I'm furious.

I was furious and now I'm furious. I'm absolutely furious. So you mean to tell me I plant something and then I let it die and then I dig it up? You're saying when you dig it up, you kill it. So is that what it is? If you get like a plant that's like an annual, so like it's supposed to like bloom every year,

usually what they just can't survive the cold snap that hits. In November or whatever, you're supposed to dig the root out of the ground, store it, and then replant it next year so that it can grow again. If you leave it in the ground, it dies and then it won't grow. Do you know what makes a really good riddle? Needing a horticultural degree to fucking understand it. Well, I don't have a horticultural degree, but I do know that I believe perennials can only grow

between your taint and your asshole. Awesome. Is that right? Is that perennial? That is correct. There was a restaurant, remember across the street, like where the Hotel Lincoln is now, and it was called perennial.

And I always used to say perianal and no one laughed. My favorite detective. Yeah. Perianal and no one laughed. My favorite detective. Yeah. It's perianal. And one more thing. Columbut. Columbut. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm chopping it up. That's what I like. Yeah, button springer does sound like it's a mix a lot, the sequel or something. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's fantastic.

Here we go, let's go, this is another riddle. Again, Katie, this is par for the course. You absolutely should be very frustrated at these answers. That makes it a riddle. Yes! If one person has me, then I am a burden. If two people have me, I am priceless. Yet I cannot be bought.

What am I? One person has me I am priceless yet. I cannot be bought. What am I? One person has a name If one person has me then I'm a burden if two people have me I am priceless yet. I cannot be bought. What am I? If two people have me I am priceless Oh, is this like a child? Katie, say that again. Love. It is love. If one person has it, it's unrequited, so it's a burden.

If two people have it, it's priceless. Wow, Katie. That's kind of nice. But can one person have love? Of course. I mean, I think love exists to be shared. If one person has it, then it's not really a love, is it, right?

Like isn't it something like- No, so everyone you've loved has loved you back? What a life you've led. Must be nice. I mean, yes, because have the people that I've loved who didn't love me back, was that really love? That's what I'm saying. Yes.

But Katie, what if I was just really horny? That's a good point. Did you ever even think about that? First of all, you're a thousand percent on some kind of watch list right now. Oh, he's been on of watch list right now. Yeah. Oh, he's been on a watch list from the jump. He got on the internet and he was immediately on a watch list 10 seconds after he joined the internet.

My webcam is also live streaming to watchmebehorney.com and so I'm on a lot of lists. Watch me be horny. I can't believe that website was available. Casey, go ahead and buy that website for me if you can. If it's available right now, go ahead and purchase that for me. We're going to start redirecting Hey Riddle Riddle episodes to watch me be horny. That's so fucking funny.

That's where your Patreon goes. I guarantee you, any way you spell horny, it's taken. Taken, taken, taken, taken. Forty Y's is still taken. Let's do another Riddle here. Katie, that's three you've gotten. This is still taken. Let's do another riddle here. Katie, that's three you've gotten. This is very impressive. You're probably cracking our top guest scoreboard.

I think everyone's being kind, which I like. No. So we'll just say we're being kind. We have two ruthless co-hosts over here. Yeah, I'll destroy a guest, I don't care. I've always thought that I'm not nice, but I'm kind at all Here's a riddle that's sure to infuriate Here's a riddle that's sure to infuriate John wrong

Here's a riddle that's sure to infuriate. John Wrong went on trial eight times last week. Each time he was accused of the murder of Susan Smith. And each time he was found guilty of the murder. How is this possible? A bunch of different ladies named Susan Smith because he went to the phone book. Oh, this guy's a Susan Smith serial killer. And... I mean, that's a better answer than what this is. If it was his calling card that he only killed Susan Smiths, that's actually like a fun thing.

And I hate to use that term when we're talking about killing. That's my whole thing. I only kill people named JPC. My list is getting shorter and shorter. Wait, is that why my power keeps growing? Are you killing my other clones out there? Yes. Yeah, okay.

I don't hate it. I'm gonna let it go. John Wrong went on trial eight times last week. Each time he was accused of the murder of Susan Smith. Each time he was found guilty of the murder. How is this possible? And a little clue. This is...

Oh, is this... Oh, go ahead. Is it mistrials because like the judge keeps sleeping with the four person and they have to like get it like moved to like another jurisdiction? No, but I do now want to see a scene. Um, Katie, you are a judge. It's almost like a judge Judy or any of those type of like, uh, sensationalized shows.

And your name is Miss Trial. Uh, you wear a sash that says in Trial and you have a bouquet and you hear just outrageous sort of cases and make snap judgments. Erin and JPC, you'll be playing a revolving door, depending on how long we go, a revolving door of people bringing cases in front of Miss Trial. Order in the court. Get ready to object to anybody not being fashionable. It's time for Miss Trial!

All rise! Hi, my name is Pepsi and I'm here to sue my dog. You wanna sue your dog? Is Pepsi okay? I don't think so. Distained. They throw me out the window. Sorry, Your Honor, did you say disdained? I did, cause I don't like her. Next.

Hi, my name is Joseph Keller. I'm suing this woman who took all of the hair off of my horse and then tried to sell me a wig made of my own horse's hair. I'm listening. Well, I mean I really liked the wig, but then when I got home and I got into the bathroom and I saw my horse, you know, completely hairless, I thought, oh my god, she sold me my own horse's hair as a wig. Hand me exhibit hay.

I don't really want to give you the wig. Okay, she's wearing the wig now, so I'm not gonna get that back. I look fucking fantastic Yes, rock and I just say hey Thank you bailiff and may I say hey girl right back Oh bailiff ha ha ha Hi, my name is Sonia Sotomayor and I'm here for a divorce. Okay, first of all, good for you, honey. Let's go to a paint and sip sometime and celebrate. Divorce granted. Nice.

Oh man. So, Sonia Sotomayor's husband, I guess I'm going to get a job now. Oh, I hope Miss Trial gets picked up get a job now. See. Oh my God. Oh, I hope Miss Trial gets picked up by real TV. Yeah, it'll be picked up by HBO Max. Sorry, Max. Just Max. Wow.

And Adel, will you try to get a Bay Lift spinoff in the middle of Miss Trial? How dare you try to get a spinoff? How dare you try to get a spinoff? Sort of a portmanteau of Bail of Hay, Bay, Bailin'. Adel. It'll work. It'll work. We'll shoot, we'll shoot from that end.

As long as there's a multicam, which is cheaper, well, it'll sell. Thank you. So what's going on with John? He's convicted eight times a week of a murder, each time he's found guilty. Now this is something we- Yeah, we're still in the middle of it.

It's the worst feeling when you do a scene and you feel like you're in the clear. I forgot, I was having fun, I was like, what a nice day, and now I'm like, god damn it, fucking John Wrong's still here. That's sort of our show as we rest people away from fun and get back to work.

So this is. Eight times. Does the number eight have something to do with it or is it just saying that it's happening a lot? Well, think about something else we talked about in this episode that maybe we even talked about on break and it happens eight times a week and then we can we can sort of maybe Katie he's in a pairing as an actor in a play at the theater Everyone got it. Can I be honest? That's pretty good

But how would you know? Do most people know that you do a show eight times a week? I don't know, whatever. I don't think the common person knows that, but I feel like, yeah. Cause what's the eight times? It's, it's, it's. Matinee.

Is it a Sunday matinee? It's usually Tuesday through Sunday. One day off and then a matinee. One day off and then a matinee. Or two matinees. Yeah. Yeah, yes, yes. Oh God, it has to be two matinees.

Erin, yes. Yes. Oh god. It has to be two matinees. Aaron please. I'd like to see a scene. You three are in a high school production of Death of a Salesman and I just want you to do it to the best of your ability. The play? Okay. Yeah, the play. Okay. Willie, you forgot your briefcase.

Haha. Oh no, I'm drunk again, Biff. I think. Yeah, well that's- Biff Lohman, you're my son and one day you'll take over my automotive and airplane parts business. So you better start hitting the bottle. Oh, shut up, Dad. You shut up. Hey, where's your little brother? He died, remember?

Oh no. He died when you were so drunk that you smothered him. Like, like, like the dog in The Sopranos. Oh, no. I fell asleep. He must have crawled under me for warmth. I think my son crawled under me for warmth. Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm just passing through the town. I'm actually looking for a daughter to marry.

I'm not sure if you have a daughter that you might want to marry to someone. I have a daughter named Tiff Lohman. Okay, Tiff Lohman. We also have another daughter named Attention, but if you want to marry her, Attention must be paid. Oh, that's a super transactional. I know. Well, my name is Laser Wolf.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, no. No, what? Are you some sort of music man? The parents in the audience are all flipping through their program being like, is this fucking Fiddler on the Roof? What is this? Where's Katie Rich as Yenta?

I hope she doesn't sing. Scene. Barbara Streisand is Yenta. We did Fiddler on the Roof at my high school, and I don't think a single Jewish kid was in that show. It was just a bunch of Irish Catholics. The guy who played Tevye in our show was 5'8", 110 pounds soaking wet. Yeah. Perfect. A freshman boy. Yeah. Tevye is supposed to be this, you know,

jolly figure and it was like, oh God, I'm worried about that guy. That guy can't even get up on a roof. I will say, there's certain, like one reason to not have children is to not have to see high school plays. Like I think about all that my parents endured. Watching Our Town has to be the worst of all. I feel like every high school, why are we doing that? It's because there's like 40 parts.

Yeah, that's true. I'll say that I went to a theater high school where we weren't good at sports, we weren't good at anything else, but we were very good at theater and we were routinely blowing people away with our high school plays. Really? I will say a big part of it was that our school had a lot of money, and they put a lot of money into the set design. Because I feel like if you go to like a Broadway musical or something,

part of what you're seeing is the spectacle of the set design. Sure. I remember we built a, what's it called? the revolving stage. We built a revolving stage for Les Mis. It's called a revolving stage. Yeah, revolving stage, right? Well, we built one for Les Mis, our presentation of Les Mis, and there were people openly weeping at that. I was like, this is just high schoolers doing Les Mis. But one of the final death scenes,

like the stage spins around and you see all the people like splayed out on the barricade, which goes up like 11 feet in the air. And it was like very cool looking. Nobody tells JPC that people cry for two different reasons. Let them have this. Let them have this. Let them have this.

I will also say it is way more than two, Let him have this. Let him have this. Oh my God. I will also say it is way more than two, but I do like that there are two. It's binary. Katie, you didn't get Yenta. Did you ever have a larger part in a musical? Or a play? Or a play. It would have to be a play, right?

Oh, yeah. Because you didn't sing. I was always the lead in plays. What's wrong? Ooh, what are we talking? Well, I was actually the stage manager in our town, which sounds like a different thing. But it's actually the, you know.

The role of stage manager. And this was in like the 80s. That's how old I am. No, but this was a while ago. I mean, to do it under Switch, that was a big deal. You went to Chicago, you were in school in Chicago? No, yes, no. I went to Carl Sandberg High School.

Wait, in Galesburg? No, but I did go to Knox College for a year because they gave me money and then I dropped out and went to Northwestern because I didn't want to be not in Chicago. That's where my parents met was Knox College in Galesburg. What are you talking about? My dad moved from Palestine to the U S specifically to attend Knox

College on a full soccer scholarship. Wow. So the thing about Knox College, which was crazy is it was a ton of people from overseas that were caught. Like it was this really cool, like there are only a thousand kids there, but there were 3,500 in my high school. So it was like very jarring, but. Where was your high school at?

Where's Carl Sandberg High School? I said Galesburg because Galesburg famously has the Carl Sandberg Mall. Yes, well Carl Sandberg is a big Galesburg guy. And then yeah, it's in Orland Park, Illinois. Oh, okay. I lived in Chicago and then for high school we moved so we didn't have to pay for high school.

That's amazing. Katie, let's do one more riddle. Oh God. And then we'll pull the curtain down and we'll let the audience applause for this play. Round and round a circle, a uniform pie chart, filled with decoration, a unique work of art. Your thoughtless interference tears me apart, a filling for the whole that was there at the start. What is being described?

Jesus Christ, all right. Is it Jesus Christ? Oh yeah, the whole stigmata. A cloth of stigmata. No wait, go again. Round and round a circle, a uniform pie chart, emphasis on pie, filled with decoration, a unique work of art.

Your thoughtless interference tears me apart, a filling for the hole that was there at the start. What is being described? I think circle and pie is pretty big. Clock, carousel. Donut. Well, donuts, donuts, we're very much on the right track with donut.

Pizza. It would be cool if it was carousel because carousel's a musical, right? It is a musical. Donut don't it's donuts. We're very much on the right track with donut pizza It would be cool. I hear yourself as carousel said musical right it is a musical very sort of Fucked up sad sad musical Aaron. We love it. So I do love carousel Aaron. I think you said the answer um pizza It's JPC. I'm surprised from P to Z It's JPC, I'm surprised, from P to Z. Oh, wait, you got your answer. You got your answer. Oh, I was just early.

I was 30 minutes early on pizza. You're a time traveler. 30 minutes early, I guess I shouldn't have to pay. Wait, I don't get why it's pizza. That was fantastic, Aaron. Thank you so much. That means a lot coming from you. What's the hole?

What's the hole? Your stomach? I think like your stomach or hunger, like you're filling the hole that was there to exist. So your mouth, I guess, your mouth, your hunger. I'm sorry. You put pizza in your mouth. It's best not to interrogate the questions. The rhyming ones I find distracting.

Yes. And Katie, what I found is that the rhyming ones are particularly long because they're nonsensical because they're only trying to rhyme and the simplistic words don't rhyme. So they're like, I really have to, if I want to make this flowery, it has to be 10 paragraphs. And you're using words you would never use simply because you have to rhyme. Well it is that time. Katie, thank you so much for being on. Thank you for answering.

Thank you for introducing us to the term, answer hog. Oh, I cannot tell you how much fun I had. I love this. I wish you would. Congratulations. Nope, now I'm not. It's like what your mom says, we'll say thank you. And you're like, I was going to. And now if I say it,

I look like I'm only saying cause you said. Mm-hmm. Congratulations on this, the podcast that you do for bringing just people, for doing something that just makes people happy and have a moment. So I think that that's really, really lovely. Thank you for letting me be a part of it. What's happening here?

Our listeners are not happy from what we do. I feel genuinely moved. I mean it though. I know, it's so nice. Thank you so much, it be a part of it. What's happening here? Our listeners are not happy from what we do. I feel genuinely moved. I mean it though. I know it's so nice. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for saying that. Katie, is there anything that we can, anywhere where listeners can find you online,

anything upcoming you'd like to plug or promote? I would love, I'm not online a lot, but I should be online more. No, no, you're okay. Is that healthy? No, it is not. If you're not online, that's good, yeah. If you're offline, you're doing it right.

Stick with that. No, so there's a show called Kite Man Hell Yeah. It's a spin-off of Harley Quinn. It'll be out in July. We're very excited about it. And then the fifth season of Harley Quinn will premiere at the end of this year. We're not quite sure, but we're in the middle of post for it and it's a great, it's very exciting.

It's sort of a Harley and Ivy decide to switch it up. Oh no. Oh no. I just got fired. Oh, that, I just got fired. Oh, no. Oh, that was bad. I hope they start doing the trailers and it's your voice. It's that exact clip. It's that exact clip from this. People are like, who is that talking? Ha ha ha!

And why is my dog running in the room? No, we got a giraffe to record it, so it didn't work pretty good. Famously don't make sounds. If they do, they sound like Ron Perlman. I like the, which one? The billionaire or the, or Hellboy? Hellboy. Okay.

I do like though that the two animals that you decided don't make sounds were giraffes and foxes. I'm going purely off of the, what does the fox say song? And then also. Oh, of course. Maybe South Park or something. There's some show that was like giraffes that make a sound or something.

It's when they do, they're the, it's when they're the resistance. What do I, it's from the music. It's from the movie, the movie musical, which you, Katie. The movie musical, I really liked. Fuck. Your honor. What is going on here, I respect you. I respect you. I don't know.

Thank you so much. I've watched every season of Friday Quinn. It's a tremendous show. It's so funny. The voice cast is tremendous. Check it out. Erin, do you have anything to, and obviously, Kite Mann, hell yeah, very excited for you.

Erin, do you have anything to plug your promo? I would just check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash heyredolredol. It's gonna turn into, what is it? Watch me be horny. Watch me be horny dot com. Yeah, that's going to turn into that soon. So if you want to listen to our episodes before that disappears, check it out now.

But horny is spelled with a five. So we can get it. Yeah. Okay, we found a loophole. And the five, not where you think it would be. It's not replacing what you think it would replace. Adol, anything to plug? Okay, I'm looking on Quora.com

for what is it called when the Amish kick you out? This is when it's plugging. It is called shunning. Shunning. Or also, maydung. Maydung is a practice within some Amish communities where a member is excommunicated, excommunicadoado if you will.

Or shunned for violating the ordnung, quote unquote, the set of rules that govern Amish life. These all sound like spells. How many of the rules governing Amish life adult, do you think you've broken today? Used to phone one. Recorded a podcast two. Asked riddles three.

Three, yeah. Webcam of me being horny four. Four, dared to guess what a draft would sound like five. Yeah. Blasphemy, blasphemy to dare. Any review to revie, to revied? No, that's nothing. A review to read.

Or something you want to say? I will plug this. If you're listening to this episode on the day that it comes out, this Sunday, we are going to be live in LA at the Dynasty Typewriter. So I don't know, due to the nature of when we're recording this, if those tickets are sold out. They might be sold out. You can still try to find them.

Hey, riddle, riddle.com slash live or live. It's spelled the same way. And you can get live show tickets. But if it's sold out in person, you can still get the live stream. So there's a live stream for that show because we are streaming it. So please do find your tickets there.

Heyriddlevirtual.com slash live. And sort of a secret speakeasy after show. Don't tell anybody else. After the live show, we will be in Koreatown at a bar to be named where Katie Rich will be putting on her one woman Yenta musical. Katie, is that right, Natsen?

Yes, it is a musical, there is no singing. And it's $700 to get in and there's no refunds, no matter how nervous she gets. And it's really just me talking about Jimmy Buffett songs without singing though. Yeah. And Erin, Katie did the book, but you composed. Would you like to sing a little bit of the number one hit

single from that musical? And that's your dog. And that's my dog screaming, so I'll go ahead and say Jupiter, so we don't have to keep listening to that. Bye forever. Saved by the dog. I would have had to sing. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Toney did the editing. Hey there ostriches and otters, if you liked that you are going to love this week's Patreon. BOOM!