Hey Riddle Riddle - #313: Pervert Horseshy

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Will we remember to pay off what we set up in the beginning of the episode? Certainly not! But we do have a fun couple of montages for you all. All that plus we have a warm moment between a parent and child, two travelers coming to the new world, a salesman who can't take no for an answer, and an old friend visiting someone he's been waiting for. Also, we do a completely new type of scene we've never done before! Unless we have and we just forgot about it.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Alright, JPC, your word is riddle. Can you use it in a podcast? Yes. Hey, Riddle Riddle really fell off after the first 14 episodes. Hey Riddle Riddle really fell off after the first 14 episodes. Okay, Riddle. 14, huh? Yep.

Fell off? Yeah. Got worse? Oh, that's, I'm sorry. I off? Yeah. Got worse? Oh, that's, I'm sorry. I'm not used to that colloquialism. It got worse. Got worse. Okay.

Riddle, riddle. Um, God, can I, I know I asked to use it in a sentence and then I asked to use it in a podcast. Could I, can I hear, can I hear it in like, I don't know, like a, like a 60 minute fully produced podcast? Would that be possible? Um, like a 60 minute fully produced podcast? Would that be possible? Like a full episode of a podcast? Let me ask the referee, Adolf.

Referee? I thought that guy was working at a footlocker. Well I can be both. He's on the clock for both jobs currently. No, that's the dream. Getting paid twice to do one job? And sir, we have these in a 12 as well if you would like them. Sorry, Erin. What were you asking? I was asking if we can

One of our spellers wants to hear a full riddle podcast to understand the word riddle before he spells it Mmm, I think that I think they're only supposed to get like a minute, right? They can ask language of origin they can ask you to use it in a sentence. They can ask for if it's a good answer or bullshit. Yeah, but here's my thing is I'm a little hungry. We give him the hour, he listens, we come back. Okay, yeah, that makes, yeah, okay, let's do that. And you can ask for more wishes too.

That's another thing that you can do. There's nothing in the rules that says you can't ask for more wishes. Well, there's nothing in the rule that says a dog can't play basketball. Oh shit, there goes my customer asking for a size 12 shoe. Bad boy, bad boy.

What you gonna do? What you gonna do? I almost made a sale for four sneakers. I would have, the commission's on that. It cannot be my fault. You know, here's, listen to the podcast. Let me know what you think. This is way past episode 14.

I think we're at 313. That's 99 more episodes plus a couple hundred or something. Yeah, there's 300, about 300 more episodes. So good luck and we'll be back at the end of the episode to have you spell Riddle. If we remember. And we won't. People nervously skipping ahead to see if we pay it off and we forgot it's pig coming sound.

The end of the episode. Erin, you did that. Erin, you are a new addition. I know, I know, I know. And welcome to Hey Riddle, Riddle, a podcast about riddles and all the stuff. I'm the guy, that's the woman, there's the other man here. We all know what's up. One wears a backwards hat, one wears a forward hat, one is me. One's a pig going. Let us know in the comments below, there are no comments below,

if you agree that we fell off after episode 14. Now, of course, I don't remember that time in our podcast history at all, but certainly I feel like we got better somewhere after episode four. We didn't really hit our groove until the first 10 episodes. I'm not saying that we didn't get a lot worse later because we all know that this isn't very good, but there certainly was a time when it was fine right no I don't think so I looked it up no our 14th episode was called a riddle a day saves nine in this episode JPC is old

man puzzles and he wrote some warm-up riddles oh you're right the clue true the crew tries to remember that I don't do that anymore Addle plays God flickering lights cause problems and a full stop gets a full stop. Oh, and then Sandy was there. Oh, okay, well maybe it was good back then. That early on, 14? I think that was the episode

we talked about a twinkle in our dad's penis. So, the last time you wrote riddles and then the last time you said anything funny. Episode 14, I guess. I've written riddles since then, but they were like Paul Riddles, which I got in big trouble for because no one liked. And then I wrote Riddles where I was deceiving you guys and people didn't like that either.

So I quickly learned to stop doing original content because it's stuff that people do not like. I agree. Erin, though, it is funny that you mentioned that, because we are 313 episodes into this podcast. And I believe next week, next week we will be, that's kind of arbitrary time, but next week we will be celebrating a pretty big milestone in the podcast.

But we've been doing this for five years. And I thought, before we get to next week's milestone, maybe it would be pretty fun. And again, I claim that I don't really do a lot of work for this podcast, but I put together, I'm pretty proud of this. Addle quick run, he's gonna trap us in something. Aaron, he's using the voice that we've learned means

he's going to inject chaos. This has to be my normal voice. Paul rattles all over him. This is the voice, this is the voice I use. I put together a little video montage for you guys of the last five years of just some stuff that I found, a little video that I found of us interacting on the podcast.

And Casey, I think we're ready for this right? And I would like to play it for you guys now and just you know just as a little gift. It's been a great five years and I've really enjoyed all of it. What is this? The last five years and it's fine it's fine. Oh oh. Oh Aaron look at you oh my god you look so young. Ah this is when Addle wore the crazy hat.

Addle, where did you get that hat? I'm at hot tub. Do you guys remember this? This is a video of an alligator eating a baseball coach. Addle, what do we want you to do? Parasailing. Oh my God, we went parasailing. Look at us.

We're so high up. It's still a picture of an alligator eating a baseball coach. It's just inverted. Oh no, this is, what do they call this? A garbage plate. Addle ate the whole garbage plate. No, that's an alligator eating a whole baseball coach. Oh my god, I was on the beach! Oh Aaron, you burned so bad that day.

You should have worn your big hat. That alligator's eating the baseball coach's hat. Just in sepia tones. Oh my god. Look at all the times I get, and these are, it's moving really quickly now. But God, five years. Look at all, look at this. Wow.

Yeah, he's dead for sure. It's hard to believe that we've gone through so much, but look at us. Here we are. Oh, he superimposed us riding the alligator like a horse? Anyway, that's just a little gift from me to you guys. I wanted to put that little video montage together to kind of show you what we've meant to each other over the years and kind of all the things

that we've accomplished. That photo will haunt me until the day I die. I will only see that when I blink or sleep. Thank you, JPC. Thanks, JPC. That was really moving. What a sweet little tribute. Yeah.

Wow. And I guess we'll try to upload the video as well to like socials or whatever for the people. Cause oh yeah, it's a podcast. Yeah, and I'll do my best to block that. So don't worry. Cause it's a podcast so people couldn't see the video. But yeah, we'll try it.

We'll upload it. But if you, if this comes out, just search all around the internet, try to find that video. It'll be there. And it's, it's just, you know, it's fun that we did this. Just Google alligator eating baseball coach. Gotta give a shout out to Casey. Casey hooked this up for me too,

because obviously I'm not like a tech whiz. I wouldn't be able to play that on the show. If it weren't for my man Casey, give it up Casey. Perfect. I actually put together a video montage of our last five, six weeks. Oh my God, parallel thinking. Do you wanna play it, Casey?

Do you want Casey to play yours as well? Uh-huh, play it as well. Hey, let's see what this is. I can't wait, you guys, I've literally been working on it for months. I feel so nervous and excited. Yeah, I'd love to see what Casey put together now. Yeah, let's see what the final thing is.

I think he probably used the same song. No, okay, so Casey says, pretend there's music playing. Why should we have to pretend there's music playing? Can't you just play that same fucking song? Yeah, Casey, just use the same montage song that you definitely played and it wasn't just me playing. JPC, can you play it, please? I could, but it's funnier that you made Casey out to me.

No, I'm doing the same shout out as you did to Casey doing it. This is a great bit, just give me two to three minutes to find a song, okay? I have to do it, hold on. I don't think, I think it should be all live, it should be live time though, Casey. If you're not prepared for work, then you don't think I think it should be all live. I should be live time though Casey you if you're not prepared for work Play the music well pretend Casey played it oh Okay, so this is a peep behind the curtain you just want me to play the same music from the video But I may but now the bits gonna feel so tired. No

sucks I may. But now the bit's gonna feel so tired. No, Aaron, it won't. God, this sucks. Now, okay, so. I agree, Aaron. So that might be something different. Okay, I think it went something like baaan, din, din, da, din, da, din, din, din. All right, cool, yeah, I got it. No, I got it now. Okay.

Please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only, Dez Dazeem. And you think the show's gotten worse? Significantly worse. Drip by drip worse. Oh, here it is, my video's playing. There's us, first day of recording. Oh wow.

This is a baseball coach eating an alligator. Oh my gosh, this is Addle bringing us coffee for a late-night recording. I called it Caffefe at the time. JPC saying Maria's CBS and we're all laughing and laughing. I'm wearing high-waisted jeans. Oh, here's where Erin tried to do the splits and She she ripped open her shoulders and... Am I everything?

Yeah. Yeah, everything ripped open. Oh. Ziphoid process ripped open. Oh look, there's Casey! He's just a little baby. Wow, actually that is just a baby photo of Casey. That's crazy.

Why is that in here? And we're all folding him. I don't remember Casey being that young when he started. And why do we all look way older? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don? And we're all folding him. I don't remember Casey being that young when he started and why do we all look way older? Oh, man, we all look like we're in our 60s. We're holding a baby Casey. What where did you get that? Look, we're getting older. Oh God, yeah, we're getting way older. This shows getting worse. Oh, no, the two of you are at my funeral When did that happen? Oh my god Wait guys, this is skipping forward in time. This is going way past Aaron goes broke Wait, why are they repossessing your car Aaron? Oh my god

GPC You're still alive. You're at my funeral now. I Don't know. Oh, no. No, look at the next picture. It's me asleep. This is a dream This is all happening inside my dream? And Casey's there! Wait, it's a hospital room! Wait, he's injecting something into my machine! No! No, he's killing me! Casey's killing me! Oh, did you give him power of attorney? I guess! Oh, JPC. But look, he's a baby still. He's so sweet. Oh, and it's zooming out. And it's like the end of Men in Black 2,

where inside Casey's little baby eye is like a bunch of universes. Oh, wow. That was Men in Black 2? Are we sure? It's sort of an ending. Oh, beautiful, wow. Wow, that an ending. Beautiful. Wow. Wow. That was beautiful, Casey.

We've been through so much together. We've been through so much together. And we will go through so much in the future. I don't know how to say this. I actually planned a little montage to celebrate. You didn't. I did. I'll cue that up here. Casey, you didn't. I did.

I wanna cue that up here. Casey, whenever you're ready, just play. Give me two to three minutes to find another fucking song. It should be a different. Two to three minutes. So 22 to three minutes. Two to three minutes. Should be a different song, Casey, cause one of the odds that we all built a montage video using the same song. That's true.

We're going for realism here. Do we all google royalty free montage music and rip a piece of it to our computer? Maybe, but. Alright, here we go, here we go. Okay. This is very atal for a montage. Oh, there's us. We're doing those old patreon promo videos we used to do in person. Oh wow look at us Here comes the alligator And that's the end Wow, it was just a Still clip of us doing a patreon promo

Then an alligator eating a carriage from the inside out Yeah, okay the inside out. Yeah. Okay. The highlights. Honestly, yeah, I guess Adels was a lot more concise. Guys, I'm feeling nostalgic today. I'm feeling a little sentimental today, boys.

I'm in my feelings. I certainly agree with the second part. Feeling mental. Yeah. I feel semi-mental. What time is it? I agree with the second part. Feeling mental. I feel semi-mental. What time is it? Oh, Erin, it's riddle time.

That's what time it is. Game time, whoop. It's riddle time. And if you recall the last time that I was old, in puzzles almost five years ago today, we were doing some riddles from 2018. And we're going to finish off our riddles from 2018. Now, the last time we played, you guys really liked these riddles from Samira.

And so we are gonna jump back into some more riddles that Samira submitted. So these are going to be... Can we call this Samora Samira? Samora Samira, Samira Samora, Samira Samira. Samora Samira? Yeah. Yeah, we'll call this segment Samora Samira. Caseyira Samora, Samira Samira. Samora Samira? Yeah. Yeah, we'll call this segment Samora Samira.

Casey, go ahead and play that theme. Okay, okay, okay. No, it's the alligator eating the food. Wow, wow. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's crazy that our producer can't just have a thousand themes ready to go for all of our

stupid bullshit. I mean, it just makes you look bad, Casey. And of course he could edit this and make us look however he wants. You make GPC's voice sound real stupid right now. Impossible. Impossible. I already did. I did my job. I bet it sounds so stupid. Alright, so more of some your... We're actually in real life sometimes we're actually nice to Casey and it feels weird every time we do it. I've never seen you be nice to Casey in real life, frankly. You know what? I gave Casey a birthday present and he gave me a hug. Can you believe that? Did everyone burst into flame?

I said you required my law to give me this hug. Can you believe that? Did everyone burst into flame? I said you required my law to give me this hug. Okay, so these are some more Samira's. It says disguised names of celebrities. So I'm going to give you like, this will, it'll all lead to a celebrity's name. You just have to do like a little work with the way that this phrase sounds translating it so reaching someone on a telephone and making a joke of something rudely dial no call yes call prank so reaching someone on a telephone and making a joke of something rudely.

Insult. Another word for insult. Call. Mean. When you insult me, if I were Aaron, if I were to be like, here's my impression of Aaron. My name is Aaron Keefe. I'm doing Aaron Keefe impression. What would that be?

I burst into tears. Accurate. Mock. Yes. Calling mockery. Calling mockery. It's calling mockery. Wow. Yes, calling mockery, calling mockery.

So that's, I helped you out. When are we getting him on the pod? Someone actually put us in touch with him. Someone actually put us in touch and then we've never heard back. Some of his people or something like that. All right, everybody, let's start an online harassment campaign to call him mockery. Bother him until he gets to the show.

No, no, no, someone already did a very nice thing by being like, hey, I can put you in touch with his people. Okay, here's the next one. Rude and quick moving. Okay, sorry. I read that too fast and I didn't separate it correctly. Rude and quick moving papers around. Chuffle. So the first word-

Colum- Colum- Colum- The first word- Colum- Colum- Colum- Colum-

Colum- Colum- Colum- Colum- Colum- Colum- the second phrase quick moving papers are up. Shuffle. Kurt Organize. Wow, you're so close to it. Kurt Russell. Yes, it's Kurt Russell. When are we gonna get Kurt Russell on the pod, huh? We reached out to his people and they said no fucking way. They offered us Katie, Katie Holmes, I wanna say. Kate Hudson, Kate.

Kate Hudson. Kate Hudson. We can get Kurt Russell's kid on the pod though, right? Yeah. That's Kate Hudson, right? Yeah. Do we remember what that guy's name is? Wyatt Russell. Oh, the guy who plays in Captain America?

Yeah, Wyatt Russell. Yeah, I would like Kurt Russell from Tombstone to come on the show. I think he would be a great guest. Interesting. Addle, what's your favorite Kurt Russell to come on the show? Don't say Sky High.

Gotta be Captain Ron. Ooh. And I, of course, would love to have Snake Plissken on the show. Don't say sky high. Gotta be Captain Ron. Oh, and I of course would love to have Snake Plissken on the show. Escape from New York or LA. Or LA, hey, either was good, baby. I mean, let's have a escape from Oklahoma City. Spread it around, Snake. Escape from Oklahoma City is easy.

It's just like drive in any direction. You get out of there pretty quickly. Have you guys seen Captain Ron? Yeah. No. I saw it once when I was like 15. I don't know if it holds up. Hey, you know what? I was at least recently talking about this because by the time this comes out,

I'm not sure if it will be something that it's actually voted upon, but I wanted to do the thing for our July review crew. I don't wanna do that. My number one favorite horror film you don't want to do the thing. No, I don't want to do that I don't like scary stuff, but it's not even that scary. No, I'm like it's from like the 70s Erin what if we did a mashup that thing you do so it's the thing but you two watch the thing and I That's so funny. I actually love that I okay So if you're not a member of the review crew tier on the patreon first of all, it's a great time

You get every episodes. This is that within a show but grapes There and make us watch big Adel and I watch the thing and Aaron watch that thing you do And we never we just talk we never, we just talk. We don't, we'd never sort of differentiate or parcel off any part of it. I know I said that I wanted to watch the thing, but it is Adolphe's one of his favorite horror movies.

Is there another thing based movie that I could watch so we can all do three different things and that we review them together? Adam's Family. Yeah, right. Or Adam's Family Value. You have, you have. Because the family. Yeah, right. Or Adam's family value. You have, you have. Because the star.

Cousin it. Well, no, the star is thing. You can write 10 Things I Hate About You, Wild Things. All right, 10 Things I Hate About You is legitimately one of my favorite movies. So maybe, if we do it with- Do the right thing where the wild things are. Do the right that thing you do.

Do the right, yeah, do the right the thing. Do the right that the thing you do. Ten the things that you do that I hate about you. This fuck ass rules. Yeah, I actually am back on board. Here we go. I actually think this is great. We all got re-energized at the same time. We all feel better. Fuck yeah. I'm good. I'm back in, baby. Let's fucking do this.

All right, hey, why don't we do this? Why don't we do another one of Samora Samira? We have Toilet Samaritan Mail. John Goodman. John Goodman. Hey, Roseanne. Where's DJ? When are we going to get John Goodman on the podcast, huh?

Look, there's no way John Goodman would ever come on this podcast, but I would love to have John Goodman on this podcast. I want Big Dan. If we're doing it like we did with Kurt Russell, I want Big Dan from Oh Brother, Where Out Thou to come on the show. Oh, sorry.

All right, here we go. Oh, you know what? I just watched in the hotel room. I just drove to LA like a few days ago. That's probably why I'm so slap-happy. Oh, I'm sorry, drove to LA and then flew back. Driving, helping drive my friend Tim Lyons. Listen to a bonus episode of Improv is Dead that we recorded in a hotel room in Oklahoma. That's fun. But we watched- Oh, you escaped Oklahoma City?

Yeah, we escaped Oklahoma City. Or maybe it was Nebraska. It doesn't matter. We watched the end of the Denzel Washington movie, Flight, on TV. Oh yeah. Is that when he's a drunk pilot? He's a drunk pilot. And John Goodman comes in at the end of that movie to sell him cocaine. It seems like John Goodman was on set for like 20 minutes,

he wore his own clothes, and he just got to have the time of his life. It's such a fun scene. I've never seen it. That sounds a lot like John Goodman in one of my favorite TV shows, David Simon's Treme, where John Goodman plays a guy in New Orleans who just goes to lius' by the track

and orders buttered shrimp po' boys and eats them. And it's like, this isn't acting, this is... But yeah, John Goodman's old enough that enjoy your retirement. Only take roles where you get to do cocaine and the Po Boys. Oh, cocaine and Po Boys. New new song we write.

Erin. I'm brainstorming it right now and I come coming up on the phone. I'm not on my phone. My phone is on the other end of my house. I really thought Erin was going to say I'm busy that weekend.

I'm so busy that weekend. The whole weekend is crazy for me. Here we go. Ooh, penis, off white, boy, kin. Dick Cremson. Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson. Gray is not off white.

Yeah, that's right. I'm annoyed. You know, I think so. I think so. Well, yeah, I guess. How would you describe gray? Bleak. Yeah, I guess so.

Casey says off black. Stormy sky. That actually is better. Okay, here's your next one then. Hold and move an ugly, dangerous cat. Keep. Hmm. Hold.

Rib Wilson. So the first one is hold and move. So it describes holding and moving something. Shuffle. Carrie. Erin. Carrie Underwood. An ugly, dangerous cat.

Ugly, dangerous cat. This is a type of cat. Tabby. Ugh. This is, uh, this might be hard. I... This is not the way that I want to go with this. Carrie Mulligan?

No, I love Carrie Mulligan. I guess if, honestly, I think if you keep naming famous Carries, there's not too many of them. I think if I had an ugly cat, I would want a Mulligan. I mean, like, can I get a little do over here? Uh... Carrie... A scary... There's not too many. I think if I had an ugly cat I would want a mulligan. I mean like can I get a little do over here? scary What was that scary ugly cat? Let's let's let's say this. Let's say hold and move a Seafaring

Food producer Carry a lobster fisherman? One of those words is correct, kind of. Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher. Wow. Yes, it is Carrie Fisher.

Wait, is a fisher a ugly cat? Fisher. I think so. I think a fisher is a type of, let's see, a fisher cat. Oh, it is a member of the Mustelid family, but it is sometimes referred to as a Fisher Cat. It looks like a little tiny, like, bear looking thing. Um, yeah.

I do want to see a scene. Oh, God, these things look cool as hell. Toss it in the chat, my dude. I do want to see a scene. Um, Aaron, you are a cat JPC is your kitten and you're teaching him to fish gotta be honest with you this is mostly about getting out of the house um shouldn't we have like poles or likeures? It seems like you just have like a six pack of Amstel Light. Yeah.

And some peace and quiet. That's sort of all you need for this. So I used to bring the fishing rods out and stuff, but that's mostly just for show. Occasionally I'll reach down and use my claws to pull out like a koi fish, expensive fish, but um, mostly I just drink my beer and I think about um, some of my exes. Should, should I, should you be, should I, should I be privy to this? I mean this seems like, kinda like too much for like me, like a kitten, like should- You're talking a lot.

I- For what this is. Um- We don't, we don't talk, we don't talk. Do you want this is we don't talk you want your iPad you bring your iPad no you said we're going out to the lake I didn't bring it up my iPad because it's the lake I thought we're gonna imagine you're watching your little YouTube videos on your iPad and I'll just sit here drink some beer and think of my exes I Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess I can just kind of imagine it, like, repress this later. I guess I can just repress this later.

No, you don't have to repress it. I like you. I'm definitely gonna want to do that. I'm definitely gonna want to repress this. No, no, no, you'll be fine. It's fine. Could you tell me about something? Your ex me? Maybe I get to know you better. We really don't have much time to ever you know. I don't really know anything about you I I blew it with all of them It was me. I was the problem Probably still the problem with your mom, you know, and then in a couple years

I'll be sitting out here thinking about her on the boat, you know Yeah, I mean for me for my I mean I don't really appreciate things until they're gone that's sort of my curse on this planet You know, well, maybe you could Try to appreciate me while I'm here and we could fish together. Ah. See. Another deep sigh.

Amstel Light. Maybe your cats will drink it. That's an ad. Oh, we just got a sponsor request from Amstel Light and they denied it before I could clean the estus. No. Oh. They can't afford us, honestly. Yeah, they can't afford us.

And also they absolutely can, and for cheaper than you'd think. That backfired, that bit backfired. Imagine Amstel Light not being able to afford us. Okay, here we go. One pickle with peepers. Dylan. Oh, sorry. Or, oh, there's an or on this one.

So I'll let you go. One pickle with peepers. Dylan eyes. Dylan. Your Dylan eyes are close. In fact, Dylan eyes I think are good. In fact Dill and I's I think are good. Dillbert. Dill. One pickle with peepers. Dill. Is Dill right? Dill is right.

Dill and I's is right. But there's more to it. Dill and Iris. Dill and Iris. One pickle. One pickle. Bob Dylan. No. Bob for a pickle in the jar. Aaron, yes. You got it Dylan. Uh dill Dill disease a dill. I deal a dill disease. It's not No, what did it works? It works, but it's not a deltas even the same

Is it a dill? It's a dill Adele It's not Adele. Ah Hello from the one pickle. Okay. Do you want it? Here's your other one or one pickle improvised verbal comments Adele riff eyes Yes, I got it. I deal with a dill riff eyes a I deal with eye or I deal with eye. But you got it, it's Addle Refai. Oh my gosh, he was right here. What a glowing tribute to my name.

When are we gonna get Addle on the podcast? What a profitable way. We reached out to his people and his people is us and he's here. Oh perfect, his people is us. We reached out to his people and it turned out his people is us. Wait, my phone's ringing.

Why is my phone ringing? I called Adle's agent. That's always, have you guys ever, have you guys ever sent an email to yourself? Yeah, all the time. I send emails to myself a lot too. I usually send articles to myself. Like I have like a news aggregator

and I'll be like, ooh, I want to read this, but not now because I'm enjoying scrolling. So I'll send myself a little email. To be honest with you, it's always nice to hear from me. Occasionally I'll get a text message that I need to like open on my email, like a link to join something,

but it'll come in as a text message for whatever reason. And so I'll email that to myself. So that, and then I get a nice little email from myself and I go oh it's me delete he's thinking of me he's thinking of me all right here's your next one praying position upper limb swole Neil Neil Young Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. When are we going to get Neil Armstrong on the pod, huh? Oh, Aaron. Oh, Aaron Sweeney, sit down. I have terrible news.

What? He's a Republican. The moon isn't real. Oh, no. It was staged. He's a Republican? No, no. Okay, oxygen enters weed powder.

Air in. Keef. Pock. Aaron, thank you for finishing. powder air in Keef Thank you for finishing I didn't want to throw your name Okay, here we go um prostitute solicitor gently touch a stack of hay avoidance geometry. Pervert horse shy?

That could be the name of the episode if you need it, JBC, but only if you need it. If I need it. Is this famous pilgrim? Pervert horse shy? What if they need it? People open it up as a hay renoverto called pervert horse shy. They know exactly what they're getting.

Three montage bits. Yes, please do. You are on, you're both on the're getting. Three montage bits. Yes, Blizzard. You are on, you're both on the Mayflower, you're both pilgrims coming over, and one of you is a pervert. One of you is, you can decide who in the scene. Well, couldn't get out of England fast enough. Bad vibes in the entire place.

Same, ever since Smart Luther nailed... nailed those things to the door. I was like, yikes, bikes, I'm outta here. Now to get over to the new land and start our new lives where no one can tell us how to worship. No one? If I wanna put a buckle on my hat, fuck you, I put buckle on my hat. And if I want to go over to the New World and take a buckle off my hat and stick it sideways into my ass, pull it out, stick it back in a little bit, then pull it out, no one's gonna tell me that I can't do that. I see you're reading my t-shirt. Hi, I'm Pervert Horseshoe. Yeah, I guess I just started reading the t-shirt without really comprehending what it...

What's with the buckle for... These are just to buckle the hat on, you know, to keep the hat on. What's your question? Keep the hat a hat. What was your question? You're doing some sort of... What are you doing with the buckle? Put it around my hat. Well, I wanted to put a...

Here's the thing. You know about scarlet letters? Oh, yeah. And I can't wait to get over there and start scarletting, lettering up some women. Everything that's embroidered on my shirt, that's what I did to get kicked out of England. So, if we're being honest, which I am... Oh, I was reading it like a sentence, but every individual letter stands for something? Oh, yeah. Well, if I'm being forthcoming.

Don't let me stop you. And that was one of my crimes, I was forthcoming. Ha ha. Scene. What I was specifically told for the last. Ha ha ha ha ha. Pfft. Um, you guys, great scene, but you didn't get this one yet.

Prostitute solicitor. I hate when that happens. A stack of hay avoidance geometry. This is John. Is there any worse feeling on planet Earth than doing a scene, having fun in the scene, and then realizing that you hadn't finished or solved the riddle that the scene was inspired by?

That's like picking up your plate after dinner and seeing that there's a second plate full of vegetables underneath your first plate, and you're like, oh my god. You just described every visit to old country buffet for me because I stack my plates and I'm like, ooh my God. You just described every visit to Old Country Buffet for me because I stack my plates and I'm like, ooh, get as much as possible. And then I'm like, this is just one plate, right?

So this is John. What a disgusting way to eat, but I would love to see someone do it. Just picking a plate off and all the smushed food on the bottom of the other plate. Ooh, baby. At some point, we must review a buffet because I believe one of you has never been to a buffet.

Is that right? Did I make that up? Erin. I've been now, I think, but I hadn't for most of my life. Been now? Well, Erin's been on a cruise ship, so certainly you must have eaten at a buffet, right? Yes. Yes, but I just didn't grow up going to buffets.

That sounds like the saddest... Toity-toity Northeast princess who didn't grow up going to buffets. Oh, the coastal elite. I would love to step up day in your life of shoes, Erin. Must be nice to have Snake Pilsen in your neighborhood. I'm just a different kind of trash than you guys are. We're both trash, but we're just different kinds. You're Midwest trash. That ain't that true.

I'm Boston trash. And the one thing we can know about trash is it ruins the world, but no matter where we're from, no matter what we do, we're poisoning the world in our own individual ways. Beautiful. I think it's taken out every Tuesday.

Adel, you're correct. It's John. And can you read the second? So that would be the Solicitor, but what's the second word? A Prostitute Solicitor. Gently touch a stack of hay, avoidance geometry. Tap, gently touch, tap, brush.

No. Oh boy, there's so many Johns. To gently touch, what could that be? Gently touch. Tap, nudge. Avoidant, is the avoidance geometry two separate sounds? Or? No, no. Avoidant geometry. To touch, this is, no. Voident geometry. To touch, this is, I would say I would,

this is the type of touch like if it was like a baby's head, I would. Pat. Mm-hmm. John Patrick Stewart. Yes, it's John Patrick Stewart. John Patrick Cohen. Yes, it is John Patrick Cohen,

which is a Rick, apparently, is a stack of hay. I had no idea that a Rick was a stack of hay. Oh, and a Morty is, I wanna say. Canceled. I wanna say. Right. Well, we will be back with more of Samira's Riddles,

and just kind of scrolling down here, there's absolutely no way we get through 2018, so. Are you kidding? Stop promising. Just don't even say it anymore at the beginning of episodes. I love the promise because the promise makes everyone feel good. The not delivering part obviously sucks,

but I'm never going to stop promising. The moon. Hey, Aaron, when we get back, a big moon for you, and Adol, a couple of Jupiters for you. Everybody gets a planet. I just found out today that the moon is a Republican, so I don't even care. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24,

24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 42, 43, 44, 45, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 50, 51, 52, 53, 52, 53, 54, 55, 54, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, 55, I have to sleep under my Helix mattress, you know, because like the monster under the bed. OK, so now you're the monster under the bed. But the monster under the bed is something that applies to all mattresses, not just Helix sleep. You're not like a Helix sleep mattress monster. I don't think so, but I want to sleep on my Helix sleep mattress,

not under it. Does that make sense? I love you, but it's just like I just want to make it very clear that like, well, yeah, I mean, not as you are now. I mean, I love the version of you in my head. I just want to make it clear that like, Helix Sleep doesn't create the monsters, right?

Like the monsters exist in mattress, you know, regardless. They're bed monsters. You just happen to have a Helix Sleep mattress, which is a great mattress. Yeah. Well, I think I love my Helix Sleep so much, I think it turned into this like monstrous love, or maybe it was the witch.

Yeah, I mean, we do wanna avoid saying stuff like that, you know, obviously. I mean, I get it though, because I have a Midnight Lux, Helix mattress, and boy howdy, do I sleep well at night. I took the Helix Sleep quiz, and they offer a lineup of over 20 unique mattresses including their award-winning Lux and Ultra Premium Elite Collections. Good mattress.

The Helix Plus, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers and the Helix Kids mattresses designed for growing bodies and endorsed by children sleep experts. And you know what's insane is even when I sleep under it, the monster under the bed, it's still so comfortable. Even sleeping under a Helix Sleep Masters. Well, I mean, Helix knows that their mattresses are comfortable, but they still offer a 100-night trial and a 10- to 15-year warranty to try out your new Helix Sleep mattress.

And also, Helix knows that everyone's unique. Some people are monsters, some people are people, okay? Everyone sleeps differently. That's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. And right now Helix is offering monster savings. Okay, where's he going with this? Helix is offering up to 30% all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners.

Go to helixsleep.com slash Riddle. That's helixsleep.com slash Riddle. That's helixsleep.com slash Riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. And the mattress obviously won't turn you into a monster. Like it's something that is broken inside of Adol that made him into the monster because of his love of the mattress,

but it's like, get the mattress, you're fine, nobody becomes a monster. Can you just do a slow fade on this? Yeah, fade on this it's gonna go on for a long time I look exactly the same but just my voice and just my voice is different now I can stop it was just a character oh I'm gonna take a nap it's just a character hello and welcome to space I am Jinoris the head space angel no offense Jinoris but you don't really look like the head space angel. Because of the sweatpants?

Yeah, yeah, it's the sweatpants. They're comfortable. They look comfortable. That's not exactly front-facing. I mean, that's not... Look, GENORUS, you look like you've been through it. Can I offer a suggestion? Please. It looks like your finances are a mess. Have you ever used Rocket Money, Janoris?

No, but that would be helpful. Janoris, you're going to love Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings and maybe afford clothes that aren't elastic. Yes, I still get issues of Highlights Magazine up here and I subscribed hundreds of years ago. Oh, Janoris, how old are you? I hate to ask, but I've never met a space angel before so I just... 400,252 or as Erin likes to say, one year older than Adal.

Oh that's funny. Oh god she still has her humor. I love to see that. Well, Janoris, you're going to need Rocket Money. With Rocket Money you have full control over your subscriptions and a clear view of your expenses. For instance, I use Rocket Money, I can see all my subscriptions in one place and if I see something I don't want, Rocket Money can help me cancel it with just a few taps. The dashboard shows me this month's spending compared to last month so I can see all my subscriptions in one place and if I see something I don't want, Rocket Money can help me cancel it with just a few taps.

The dashboard shows me this month's spending compared to last month so I can clearly see spending habits plus they help me create a custom budget and keep my spending on track. Ah, I'm tapping into the Hive brain and I'm learning that Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in cancelled subscriptions saving members up to seven hundred forty dollars a year when using all of the apps features okay you said tapped into the high brain but then you stuck your finger in my ear and pulled out the thing that i was just about to say so maybe no more tapping i don't maybe no more tapping into people's high brains you know fine well for guests because i am a guest i am a guest here right i'm I'm not... Trapped or...

You can leave if we want you to. Listen! All of space, stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Finger in JPC's ear. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle. And tell him Janoris the space angel from space who kidnapped Aaron and JPC sent ya! This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Oh JPC, I have a special surprise for you.

He didn't. He didn't. Okay, unwrap unwrap unwrap. Yes, that's right. Because Aaron is no longer with us for now. We're gonna do unwraps which is the opposite of a wrap. Mm-hmm and that's also the way that the space angels who I was almost took her but I guess it's not really took her that's how they pray. She flooded to them. She went to them. Yes. Well you know what

at all one of the ways that we might be able to stay in touch with Aaron while she's visiting the space angels is by building a Squarespace website. It's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether we're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with our audience, our target audience, Erin and the Space Angels, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on our terms. That's right.

And while Erin's in space, you can watch, you know, something like our video collections. You can upload video content to Squarespace, organize your video library and showcase your content on beautiful video pages. You can even sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to your content. So even space angels can subscribe and Aaron can show them all the stuff we've been on. I'd love to content while some space angels because those guys are flush. I know that they would pay.

And speaking of paying, Squarespace makes checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools, except credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and in eligible countries, offer customers the option to buy now and pay later with after pay and clear pay. And I think, no, not yet,

but one day Angel Pay will be on this list. We but one day AngelPay will be on this list. We can only assume that AngelPay will be on this list. And also something very, very helpful is their analytics. You can measure your end-to-end online performance with powerful website and seller analytics, get insights on top traffic sources, hopefully space, understand your reach is growing in space, track sales metrics,

and learn where to focus new engagement. So if you want to meet those space angels or just come and start a website, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Erin, it's been great chatting with you.

I just got to say you're really animated today. Thank you, Adel! It's a little much. I... Um, I know what's happening. Oh. I mean, Aaron, have you been watching Anna Mayhem on Hulu? Hulu Anna Mayhem is your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favorite animated shows. Have I? Zorp falls through a trap door, lands right back in the same spot I was standing. I guess she has. It's a little weird when Erin does it, but I love when Hulu does it. JPC,

I don't know if you've been watching like Bob's Burgers, which is incredible. Love Bob's Burgers. Futurama, which is a classic. Hit Monkey, The Monkey Assassin, played by Jason Sudeikis. American Dad, I mean tons of animated shows are on Hulu, Animaham. And it seems like Erin from, I mean, your eclectic bunch of animated features that you're kind of inhabiting all of them? Arugula, my eyes pop out of my head. Whoa, I think you could be right.

Arugula, that doesn't make sense. Is that Brian? Is that Family Guy? What is she doing? Is that Brian? I don't know, but eyes popping out of her head isn't necessarily the freshest bit, but Aaron, there are some of the freshest animated series

on Hulu right now, like The Great North, Grimsburg, Krapopolis, sort of a fun Greek mythological world, the guy from what we do in the shadows Matthew Berry plays in some- Oh I love Matthew Berry. Oh he's so good. Oh I bonked my head and there's a bunch of birds flying around it. Whoa! Well, I know Ered probably isn't but if you're looking for your favorite animated shows, there's only one destination you need to remember. That's Hulu Animaham, your animation destination now streaming on Hulu.

Run through the wall. Perfect shape of me in the wall. I'm actually really hurt. Is the bone sticking out? Yeah guys help. Let's watch some Hulu. All right we're launching right back into it. Here we go. Erin, Adel. What? Are you ready? No.

I figured not. All right, we got to launch back into these. So this one is going to be a six-letter word. Okay, I'm a six-letter word. So I'm going to go one, two, three, four, five, six denotes the six slots of that six-letter word. Cool? Cool. So letters 6, 5, and 2 spell out a drink.

6, 5, and 2 spell out a drink. 4, 5, 2, 3 spell out a fruit. Great. Say that again. 4, 5, 2, 3. 4, 5, 2, 3 spell out a fruit. two three spell out a fruit one two and six spell out a pet and real quick one two and six in order spell a pet or you have to mix it around no it's all in order it's all in order and three two six spells out a pest which often gets eaten by one two six And what was 369? Damn so fine. Do it to me, suck it to me one more time. Thank you. Let me slow down a bit.

Yeah, I can slow down a bit. Yeah. What was the food one? The food one, the fruit. Sorry, the food one that gets eaten by the other one. Oh, 326 spells out a pest, which gets eaten by 126. What am I? 3-2-6 spells out a pest, which gets eaten by 1-2-6. Hmm. What am I?

So you gotta come up with a six letter word that is all of those things. Six, five, two, suppose. Can I ask you a question? Are there any repeat letters? Inside the six letter word. Oh, in this word? Yeah.

No, there are not. Everyone is individual. And I can also tell you, two vowels, four consonants. You're looking for two vowels and four consonants. Wow. And a consonant is like North America, Asia. And all the people of North America in the consonant of South America and for the Republic by which it stands and one under nations God of people.

I realized just now the three of us are obsessed with people screaming something at an inopportune moment. We have France, we have the wickedly talented, we have... We love a scream. We love a good fuck up, a mental breakdown. Yeah, we love a sound bite too. I think that that's, and you know, look at the medium that we're operating in.

This is a sound bite heavy medium. Surf's up my guy, 100%. Erin, you couldn't have said it better and you couldn't have said it more yourself. I love these sound bites, cause I don't even, you guys don't even need me anymore You can just use past me Six five and two spells out a drink

Four five two and three spell out a fruit one two six spells out a pet and three two six spells out a fruit. 1-2-6 spells out a pet and 3-2-6 spells out a pest. The I'll say the pet one is a pretty common one and there's only one letter that's changed out to get you to a pest. I think if you can get that everything else pretty much unlocks. Do you have any guesses for the 1-2-6 that spells out a pet? Cat. Cat and rat. Cat and rat, yep. Right, don't say anything else then. Don't say anything else.

I want to figure this out. I actually, I think I need this for my mental health. So if someone else knows it, don't say it until I've also got it. You have four of the letters already, Erin, because you have cat and rat and that is four of the six. Is it spelt, is it carrot spelled C-e I'm gonna have to take off my no there's it's not carrot there's no repeat letters and it's only six letters and six five two spells out a drink and you have 6 and 2 right?

TA. And then 4, 5, 2, and 3 spells out a fruit. B-A-R-E-T. 4, 5, 2, and 3. Erin, what'd you say? B-A-R-E-T. That's 5. A pear.

It's carpet. Carpet. Yep. Yep. You guys got it. Is it carpet? It's carpet, it's carpet, yes. T is the first one, then pear, then cat, then rat.

It's like doing a Sudoku puzzle. Except with words. I actually like this quite a bit. It's nothing like a Sudoku puzzle. I do wanna see a quick scene. Aaron and I are gonna be- Am I Count Sudoku? Oh, sorry, go ahead. Aaron and I are gonna be- Am I Count Sudoku? Oh, sorry, go ahead.

Aaron and I are gonna be a couple living at home, and you are going to be a door-to-door car pet salesman. So you are, you're not selling carpet, you're selling car pets. Got it. Oh, is it the door? Oh. Really late. Yeah. It's like really late.

Would you get it? I'm gonna dry my hands. Hi, hello, how, how? I thought I heard you say come in. Did you say come in? Whoa, whoa, no. We certainly did not. Sorry, we'll meet you at the door.

Yeah. I'm sorry. Jim, Jim Tucker, can we help you? Yes, my name is Funtz Sales and I am here to, you know what? Now you wouldn't like it, pretends to walk away. What an interesting, weird guy. Huh, what know what? Nah, you wouldn't like it. Pretends to walk away. What an interesting, weird guy.

Huh, what's happening? Put the door, don't shut the door just yet. Okay, door's wide open. Something just got loose in your house, Swink Wink, I'm not gonna tell you what, but. The hell is? Is that something loose in our house? That's right.

It is something that you do not want in your house. Oh boy, how do you do not want this thing in your house? That's right. It is something that you do not want in your house. Oh boy, how do you do not want this thing in your house? What you do want is you want it in your car, in your van, in your truck, in your sedan. Anything with four wheels, two wheels, three wheels. What is it? Get it out. Are you wearing a bathing suit and a blazer together? What is this? Are you wearing a bathing suit? Yes, I am. It's called a blazing suit. That I invented it. Would you like one?

Opens up suitcase. What did you put in our house, you bastard? Sorry, speak up. Say that again. Speak up. Bam. Bam-bams? Bam-bams?

You think I put Flintstones superstar big club bam-bam loose in your house? I put bed bugs in your house. I see there's Flintstone gummies that have just recently gone into our carpet. Are those yours? Yeah, I was gonna smash them up and then show you how this Zumba works.

What do you mean you put bed bugs? What do you mean you put bed bugs in here? I let bed bugs loose in your house because they make the perfect pet for your car. Jane, don't touch him. Look at him. I can see his skin. It's literally crawling with bed bugs.

Okay, it's really late at night. It's a Sunday night. This is really invasive. Thank you so much for coming. We... You gotta go though. You gotta go. You gotta go.

You gotta go. You gotta go. You gotta go. You gotta're gonna you gotta go little devils don't mind if I do don't touch a thing don't touch a thing of this house zebra cakes what the fuck smash glass oh my god you know what I think this is this I think I just saw the first Men in Black movie I think that this is kind of like a wearing like an Egger suit Sugar in water Vincent D'Onofrio's Best performance. I can I tell you something? I was watching this movie men in black this and we were watching in a hotel room of course, I mean Tim and this movie's been out what 20 years and I

Turned to Tim and I was like Vincent D'Onofrio kills it in to Tim and I was like, Vincent D'Onafrio kills it in this movie. And he goes, that's Vincent D'Onafrio? I was like, yeah, that's like Vincent D'Onafrio's most iconic role. You didn't know that was Vincent D'Onafrio? But to be fair, he kind of does disappear into that role. Full metal jacket, gained, I want to say, 120 pounds. That's crazy. We got to get the nephrio on. We got to get the kingpin on the podcast. You ever see him in the cell? Terrifying.

Okay, here we go. Here's another riddle. There was a dad and three kids. When the kids were adults, the dad was old and death came to take the father. The first son who became a lawyer begged death to let the dad live a few more years. Death agreed. But when death came back, the second son, who had became a doctor, begged death to let his father live a few more days. Death agreed. When death came back, the third son, who became a priest,

begged death to let the dad live till the candle wick burned out. And he pointed to a candle. Death agreed. The third son knew death wouldn't come back and he didn't. Why not? Never lit the candle? Yeah, never lit the candle.

The candle was lit. The candle was lit. It was a lit candle. Do their professions matter at all or is this just a redheaded hearing? I don't know, Erin. You don't think it matters if someone's a doctor? Well, I guess then people just wasted all that time in medical school

because they can just go chop up people for nothing. That's my stance. The doctor was a daughter? Do the professions matter? No, not so much. Not so much. Oh, is this like when you go to a restaurant and you're like, this candle is really, really having a ball. And then you lift up a little glass ball and it's one of those electronic candles. If OK, so if this was an electronic candle, that would be that would be a good

solution to this, but that's not the solution to this because it is death verifies trust, but verify death goes up and sniffs it and it's like, like okay it's a legit candle it's a candle it's a burning candle okay it's lit when death is there and then once death leaves they put it out absolutely you got it at all that smart priest goes and just puts the candle out as soon as death leaves therefore the wick can never burn down. Now, the thing that sucks is this dad is already old. So now this dad has to live, what, forever? You didn't ask for this.

Yeah. I'd be like, he's like 98 years old and the kids leave. He's like going through the drawers trying to find a lighter to burn the candle down. They come back and they're like, what are you doing? What are you doing? No, you live forever. I like to see a seed

JPC you are death And you're coming to collect at all and but you're JPC You're feeling a little paranoid because people have been tricking you a lot lately and so you're just a little on edge. You got you Old friend Don't say a fucking word. Oh. Today, you die today, you come with me, you die today, you come with me. Yes, perfect. Okay, good. I greet you as an old friend.

Yes, I quote me as an old friend. Good, as most people should do. I get it if somebody's young and it's fucked up, but you're old, so, and you're dead, you're dead, you're dead. You come with me. No, I get it Do I? Do you like touch me on the forehead or do I do I do something? No, don't try to trick me don't try to trick me touch myself on the forehead I die takes a whole week for me body to be sewn back together by the angels

And I have to come back here. It's not gonna work. Okay, I understand I am more than ready. I have my time on earth has been magnificent and I have given all I can give. I'm ready to go. Do I take your hand? It's not- hey buddy, save the breath. It's not gonna work on me, okay? I am immune to this kind of thing, okay? You don't need to talk a bit. I'm a- you're gonna die today. I'm gonna do my thing. I'm gonna hit you at the scythe quick. Severs your soul from your spine. I take you off to hell or whatever.

Or whatever they do with you. I don't know your life. your spine, I take you off to hell or whatever. Or whatever they do with you. I don't know your life, I don't know what you did. Hey, let me lie prone here. No. So that's my bet. No. Hold on.

Stay right where you are. Gotta check for trap doors. A lot of people do trap doors in the floor. I'm gonna lie on the floor. Boof. Trap door. Then I accidentally what? Kill a magician instead.

I've killed so many fuckers. If I bring the devil one more musician or magician either one oh? Musicians are magicians to some degree the way they raise me man. Don't try to confuse me, okay? I'm trying to support you old you're not I've had four red bulls today. Okay. I bought edge Okay, no trapdoor Okay, cool. So you said you want to lie on the floor. That's fine. You want to lie on the floor There's no trapdoor. That's fine. If you want to do that, how did you die? Oh man? How long you got?

so Originally when? The death so easily tricked yeah Yeah, what a fool. No, I'm just kidding. I'm saying that on the podcast. I don't mean that death. We respect you big time. Yeah.

Casey obviously cut out any part where we kind of made fun of death. Beep out. Actually beep out death's name. Oh, yeah. And I think we did death's address in there as well. So go ahead. And social. Yeah.

And Doc's death. Oh, that's not great. Yeah, we, OK, so officially we don't know where death is from. And we want to apologize to all of the people of F*** because we don't know if death lives there or where or whatever. It doesn't matter. We're pretty sure he does. I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, we're pretty sure. Yeah. It's 519 F***, 610 Anderson Street. OK, three men each had a cup of coffee. Each man put an odd number of lumps of sugar in his coffee. 12 in total. Three men, 12 lumps. How many lumps of sugar did each man take?

Take? I mean, I think that that's like a, how many lumps do you take? How many sugars do you take? I see. Maybe that's a Britishism. I'm not sure. No, I guess, how do you take your coffee? I've heard that.

It just, yeah. Yeah. OK, this I really want to get. I think I can get it. So nobody say the answer out loud. I mean, Erin, that just can't be how the podcast works. That has to be how the podcast works. I mean, it has to be 12, right?

But each man put an odd number of lumps. So odd number is key. Of sugar in his coffee coffee 12 in total. How many lumps of sugar did each man take? And here's here's here's the next. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. That's that's the that's the I almost read the answer. But that's the full riddle. Do they all have to take the same amount? No, no, it just it just each one takes an odd number of lumps that adds up to 12. Um.

Mm-hmm. Okay. It's a real brain teaser. This is hard. Yeah, this one's hard. I think this one's hard. But that's also what makes it so good. Seven.

Okay, seven. One. Seven is an odd number. And like a, and like a fucked up four Well like a four that like touches at the top and like connects at the bottom It's like a loving one one no, sorry is 12 total not 12 total 911 911

Half one is a joke yes public it is hard why can't I get this I think the answer to this is gonna make you bad when you hear it 7 5 0 7 5 0 0 no it doesn't work no hmm well things was gonna make us mad I'm gonna stop trying to guess it yeah I mean yeah that's smart. Never mind. That's smart yeah to stop trying is I think the right move on this one. I'm dead tired. I will say one of the numbers is the same number. Okay. So they each put an odd number of lumps in their coffee, 12 in total, and one of the numbers is the same number twice. It's gotta be... It's impossible.

...either five or three, right? Alright, I can give it to you. You want to hear it? Yeah. The first man took one, the second man also took one, and the third man took ten. That's an even number. I don't know, Aaron. Ten lumps of sugar in your coffee?

No, fuck you. No, don't, don't, don't, of sugar in your coffee. No No No, Aaron no No, I told you no I tried I want to see a scene no No, hold on we're in I'm full to the brim with rage. Aaron's got a knife and she's holding it against like a teddy bear

That's not our bear. We don't care about that bear. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Oh my god. That's my bear Oh, Barry Barry, no How do you wanted to see a scene? I want to see a scene JPC. I want you to give the answer again And Aaron I want you to be really happy with it. And start. Adel, you wouldn't do this to a woman like me, right? Somebody who's loved you for as long as I've loved you. The concept of a scene just getting stretched to its infinite ends.

OK, here we go. Do you, you would, I just, I'm going to do the scene. I just want to make sure. Adel, you want to do this to your sweet dear friend Aaron, who's just really enjoyed you these last eight years or so. I mean, yeah, I want to, but it seems like the way you're saying it, just making sure you wanted to do this. That's great. I'm ready. Ready for the scene.

Curtain up. The first man took one. The second man took one. And the third man took 10 lumps. Wait, that's an even number. Oh, I don't know, Aaron. 10 lumps of sugar and coffee sounds pretty odd to me. Aw, I love it.

I love it. I love this. Yes, because that is too much sugar for a cup of coffee. That's odd. I'm so close to calling scene. I just need a little more positivity. Aaron, do you love it? Hip hip.

Hooray. Aaron, what's your favorite part about the riddle? I guess my favorite part is that it doesn't make any sense. And it's sort of a joke. And I was sitting here fucking writing numbers down, doing the math on a sheet of paper. He's starting to sing. Erin, it sounds like maybe from what you're describing,

it sounds like you might be a little bit bad. You do love it. I love that I spent all this ink on this. Yeah, we're gonna continue the scene. Erin, if you don't mind, I'm gonna have you marry this riddle. Do you riddle? The answer is-

Just quickly tee out. You want, you just make, I'm just making sure you guys wanna do this to me? I think so. Okay, great. I'm wanting it more and more. Time back in. Yeah.

Curtain up. Time back out, just quick check. Does Aaron have to be happy about anything that happens while we're in the scene? Wow, that's a good, I almost, this is like genie rules, Casey. Thank you for catching that. Yeah, if you love this riddle so much,

why don't you marry it? And you are marrying it and you're thrilled about it. Great, and I'm thrilled about it. Thank you, Casey. Casey, why don't you stay on and you're gonna be, when we ask if there's anybody who objects, you're gonna say yes, but you're just gonna be like, I object because I just want Aaron to love it even more.

Okay, okay. Okay, thank you, Casey. Classic objection at a wedding, I want you to love it even more. Be so mad at that guy at my wedding. Riddle, do you, and JPZ, you're the Riddle. Riddle, one, one, and 10, do you take Aaron to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do, I do. I do. I do times ten. Oh, that is... Oh, he worked it into the vows. And there's not a dry ice... There's not a dry ice in the house. Yeah, it's a magician. Because it sticks to your skin.

If you swallow it, it could kill you. Don't touch it. It's too cold. Aaron, do you take this riddle to have and to hold to love forever and to be happy about? I do! Your eyes are a little dead, but big smile. I do. I love it.

Do you typically ask for objections after the ideas or is it before and anyway? I now pronounce you wife and woman and riddle unless, and you two go ahead and kiss and while you're kissing is there anyone who objects actually I object oh my gosh thank you Casey my dear friend here to save me I don't think she loves this riddle enough in fact the only way to truly prove she does is to rap about it oh my god this is God. And you have to be happy about it. I thought these guys were my friends. I thought, hey, like me a lot. Turns out they're just putting me on the spot.

I hate this riddle show. But JPC hasn't spelled riddle though. Here we go, spelling it now. R-I-D-D-L-E. Riddle, riddle, riddle, rid riddler, riddler, riddler, riddler. Everybody just sit in silence. We just have a silent meal. Super awkward, it's tense.

No one's making eye contact with each other. And scene. Wow, what a great scene, Adel. I loved you calling for that scene. I think honestly, calling for more like AU scenes within the podcast, let's do it, baby. I actually think this is in my jurisdiction to do this. And then everything else that we have to do

can happen after the theme song plays. I'm gonna say Jupiter right now. Because I'm in pain. And so technically the episode, yes, ends right now. Bye forever, bye forever, sure. I guess, yeah, bye forever. Starting Eric Sheehan and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Toney to the editing. And Marty Perridge is the music. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. The logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nipourus.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. The logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nipourus. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Okay, so the episode's over. Perfect. I guess we could still do plugs if we wanted to, right? Like if we wanted to plug stuff even though the episode's over? Yeah, Kurt Russell impressions are...

Plugs are fine too. Yeah, and I'll add anything to plug? Uh, yeah. Uh, bad news... Not bad news, Paris. What's the... Don't say it. I want you to check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle. I'm a lot happier over there

It's a lighter version of me. People are gonna get upset if you promise them something that doesn't exist That's a good point. There's something there's something happen over there. There's something happening probably Well, I think what happens in the episode happens in real life So I think your honeymoon with that riddle is over there. We did a 50 minute Riddle is over there. We did a 50 minute honeymoon with the riddle. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, and stay tuned for a Patreon in the near future for the review crew tier where we review

three separate movies all at once with none of us having context for the other movie. Adil, anything to plug? I can't think of a single Goldie Hawn movie. Nine to five? JPC, any review to read or anything like that? No, no, maybe that's not. Maybe she's not in that. Uh, J. Wiley Holmes writes,

Bait, I'd read an honest, heartfelt review, but those don't get read, baby. And I'm in this for the clout. Get bit! PS Wonderful Podcast listened way too many hours hoping to see a live show at some point. Well, wishes. Well, I hope that you live in Los Angeles and I hope that you came to the live show last week. I hope that that's something that happened for you.

And if you, maybe you could still watch the VOD. I'm actually not sure how that works because there was a live stream for that one. Great, well, the episode is over and I already said the word. So let's just get up silently. Nobody follow me. Okay. Now I'm definitely following you. Don't follow me. No, I want to know where she's going.

I'm following you. Technically I'm following JPC. Don't follow me. No, don't make that be the sound when I walk. Yeah, Aaron's walking sound. There's Aaron and the coffee riddle. They're on a swing set. Oh. Oh, man.

Another perfect episode. That's really funny. You know what I think about this show? I don't think that a show physically exhausts people. Like a one hour podcast doesn't physically exhaust people more than our podcast. I feel like unwell after that one.