Hey Riddle Riddle - #318: Hat Pack w/ Sean Clements & Hayes Davenport

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

Our 4th LA recording is here with Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport from the podcasts Hollywood Handbook and Flagrant Ones! Also we all got one right after the recording but if you want your own sweet sweet Hat Pack hat then grab one here. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Sean Clements and Hayes DavenportEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey, Rudy, it's JPC here, and we are conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash riddle, and we want to hear from you so we can keep making content you love. Look, if you're listening to this, you know, we know, we all know, we do ads on the podcast. And I actually wanted to make the ads as miserable of an experience for you guys as possible, but it's a democracy, Adel and Aaron outvoted me. So our official stance is the podcast

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Please fill out the survey to make the ads better. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty,

twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, Yeah, and this is the first of many recordings that we're doing today. We gotta do riddles for all of them for the whole day. Are we sure? Let me check.

Unravel, scroll. Here's our little contract with Satan. Okay. And it says, the three of us are bound to riddles for five years. Okay. To have a- Oh, five years, that's good news

because we've been doing it for six, so we should be able- To crack the, hold on. Oh, okay, sorry. If we wanna crack the top 1,000 Patreons, we have to do rididdles for five years. And then after that, we're good to leave. And we've been doing our Patreon for how long? It's been like about five years.

Five years. Yeah. Five years. Yeah, so I think this might be the last step. So we're good. Oh, great, okay. Okay, cool. Yeah, this might be the last step. Okay, so this is the last step.

But this is the main feed app. Okay. I can't get into how this fucking works, but this is the last episode of the show. I'm of course, is Hey, we're at the show. I'm JPC, that's Addle. Erin's over there raising her hand sometimes. Hello.

And we have some special guests today on the show. We have a returning guest and a, I guess just a regular special guest. So one returning special guest and one regular special guest. That's still pretty good. Can we get into how this happened in terms of the returning? Through what mechanism did Hayes do the show with me?

It is interesting, right? I don't remember how that happened. I don't think I was ever invited before. So I remember this because when Hayes came to do the show, he did say that Sean can't do the show because Sean, I believe, just had a child. Oh, is that what it was? And I think that you were kind of-

That locates it pretty specifically. This was a while ago. This was 2019. I think that's probably right. I have the charge, I have a child. Yeah. Are they five? It was a 2019 child as well.

This was the 2019 child that you had, yeah. Okay, all right, okay. That, I hope that's true. And I will be checking the database of his experience. But I didn't even pass along the ass, it sounds like. I don't think I knew about it at all because when I walked in and you were like, hey, you did the show before, I was like,

what the fuck did I just first step into? For five years too, I thought like, whatever, that's like such a bullshit excuse. And then I had a child and I didn't wanna do podcasts out all for like a whole month. And so I was like, oh, you know what? This does track now, but he was probably telling the truth about that.

And we have an outright set it, but our guests today are Jake Johnson and Damon Waynes Jr. Yeah, so please do check out Let's Be Cops and Theaters. I wanna say starring Jeff Garland. Yeah. We're also doing.

Cue rating for police officers never been hired. We're doing our own New Girl Recap podcast where they're trying it with every two person like combination of the New Girl cast. So it's too factorial, like not too factorial. It's a lot. I think you guys are the winning combo though every two person combination of the new girl cast. So it's too factorial, not too factorial. It's a lot. I think you guys are the winning combo though, for sure.

That would be bad. With everyone, each combination is kind of trying not to be, you want to get in that number two or three best zone, but definitely not number one. Where it's like they did a good job, but they don't have to do all of it. Oh gosh. Yes.

And I'd be insane not to ask, how was it growing up with your dad being the last Boy Scout? My dad, okay, so that's really interesting. My dad- And now we figured out who's who. So- It's also very nice. Yeah, which I had totally had a flip.

My dad, Damon Williams. I mean, I just assumed, but fine. They're both good. It doesn't matter, you can't lose. No, so I'm sorry, my dad is Don Johnson. Oh, right. I'm seeing the sleeves on your jacket now, and I feel very stupid, I'm so sorry.

No, it is confusing, but yeah. Well, we're happy to have you both on the show, and obviously you're the people that you are, and not the people that we said that you are, but we've already asked you this question in we believe 2019. Half a decade ago. Yeah, sure. My relationship with riddles.

Well, I'll tell ya, you can kind of just go back and listen to that one, cause it definitely has not changed since 2019. I think this is the first time the, the first time since then that I'm really encountering. So no escape room since then. No, you're off the sauce. I mean, that was kind of my, like, we all had our little COVID vice, you

know, and mine was sneaking into abandoned facilities and seeing if I could solve it without any context at all. And no one telling me when I was done. Well, and you had to solve it. Like, because otherwise you'd still be in the room. Yes, that's right. There's no employee there to let you out and go here's what you miss.

Hey, so you misinterpreted lockdown, is what I'm hearing. Yeah, but you can add all kinds of new rules when you're in the escape room by yourself. And that applied to COVID as well. There's rules that they give you and then you can just kind of, they're just your own.

Sean, what about you? What is your relationship with riddles or puzzles or lateral thinking problems? Jeez, man, they really, those things get my gears turning. I'll tell you what, they're tricky. Obviously, as we mentioned, like I, in 2019, had a child that was my firstborn child and I still have them, so I must be good at riddles.

Because as you know, in general, you are forced to answer some sort of riddle to maintain ownership of your baby. Why is the sky blue? Yeah, something has to happen. Oh, these riddles. I'm thinking more of like a Rumpelstiltskin scenario. Okay, gotcha, yeah. These are not riddles the child is supposed to,

this is a certain arrangement that you made to have it. No, my kids, they can't stump me. Yeah. But the kid, you throw it back. They go, try it, why is the sky blue? Go ahead, ask me. Go ahead, give them why the sky blue. I'll wait.

Why is the sky blue? Why do you think it's blue? Oh, I'm being parented. I'll be in my room. Yeah, I'll be in my room. Yes, I'll be in my room. When are you gonna ask? Oh no.

Get the fuck out of here. So, but I, I enjoy that kind of stuff. I don't know that I'm particularly gonna lie here. So, but I, I enjoy that kind of stuff. I don't know that I'm particularly good at them. I recently did send Hayes a TikTok of a gentleman who does cryptic crossword clues. Sure. I did have fun with those for a couple hours. Has like filled up my algorithm.

Yeah, and I was really loving them. And then a couple of them, I was like, what? No, cause he walks you through the answer and why and I pause it and I try to solve it. And then sometimes when I can't, he's like, well and of course donut, so the word donut means it's the letter O and it's just like, I wasn't gonna get that.

Like I guess there's so much that you have to learn through the process of doing them that I feel like I just have a lot of growing up to do on the rental front. Do you also take umbrage with the fact that somebody says, and of course, because I take umbrage with when people- So much and of course with-

Yes, he does do a lot of and of course where he's like, and of course, you know, you see this, like, obviously the word play part of the puzzle is this, and it's like, well, it wasn't that obvious. I get upset. Because you already have the answer, so it's obvious to you. You know this. Even in everyday conversation, I get upset

if someone's like, obviously I grew up in Baltimore, and I'm like, I didn't know. Like, when they overuse that, and it just becomes something I'm supposed to know. I overuse famously. Famously. Famously. Famously is great. I love famously.

Oh, you don't know them? They're a famous point. Famously is great. I love famously. Oh, you don't know them? They're a famous point. Famously. Yeah. I don't really follow famous stuff like that. Yeah. I'm not huge into culture like you are. Mm-hmm.

What I'm just noticing, I was like, oh, I like this hat. And then I was like, I like this hat. And it's the same hat, but different colors. What is the hat pack? Oh, boy. The hat pack, thank you so much for asking. Why, at a what?

Is this? We've come to the dawning of the fourth turning. What is the hat pack? Oh boy. The hat pack, thank you so much for asking. Why, at a what? Why? We've come to the dawning of the fourth turning. And everyone's been waiting, you know, obviously this is it and then we'll start over again. It heralds the arrival of a new pack, each turning does. And we've passed through the rat pack, the brat pack, which we're celebrating now in our culture, the documentary on Hulu FXX.

And the frat pack, of course. And then this turning arrived and no one. No one stepped up to fill the void. Exactly. And we were sitting here saying, you know, some of these packs before, sort of walled gardens, weren't they? Yes, it was very exclusive.

There wasn't really a pack that ever said like, hey, get on in here. Yeah. And we decided- When I asked about a hat, I didn't think I'd hear the phrase walled garden. And I'm loving it. But the fourth turning was to be expected. Yeah, fourth turning we knew would come up.

Well, we've all been waiting for the fourth turning. So that tracks. So you're saying anyone can be in the hat pack. Well, anyone would. You don't have to be able to sing. And guess how much the hat costs. I mean, a hat that nice. It's 30 dollars.

A hat that nice has to be 30 dollars. It's less. It's less. Wow. 29.99. It's 29. I mean, a hat that nice has to be $30. It's less. Wow. 29.99? It's 29. The hat is 29 flat. 29 flat.

And then, of course, there's shipping. So you guys are selling these hats? Trying to. Yeah. That was certainly the concept behind making them. We're offering them for sale. Well, your elevator pitch was so succinct and made so much sense, so I love it.

Hopefully the building is very tall. It's more of a stair space. Yeah. And I have to ask, what's next? Is it like Dillinger, et cetera, the Gat Pack? I'm trying to think of some more. Yeah, you guys seem to start selling guns. I do think bank robbers are going to come back.

Once we come to the 2040s, doesn't it feel like. It's due, right? Yes, yes. You don't see a lot of bank robbers. No. Well, you see a lot of it the other way with these banks robbing us blind with these fees and these charges.

Yes, yes, yes. And do you know what I think it is, is the Biograph Theater has this whole campaign so people forget the whole Dillinger thing. Mowed down in the back alley like a dog. Yeah, they don't want, you know, the Biograph Theater's PR campaign around this is suppressing the whole bank robber culture.

But they do advertise that the place is haunted, but they won't say who's ghost, which I think is disgusting. It's crazy. So disrespectful. I think it probably stems from Dillinger famously. Had a Aaron cover your eyes. Had a 10 inch penis. Cover my eyes.

No thanks. Everyone should want to see that. Yeah, of course. It's in a jar somewhere. Him and Rasputin, I think, were kings of penis. Rasputin was, yeah, he was pushing tin. That's why the feds had to take care of him. Famously, famously Rasputin.

You gotta hawk to a spute on that. We're all having fun with that still. We're a week and a half out of it, we're all still having fun. I'll never stop. Try to make me stop. And by the way, when I do it three years from now, that will be the best version.

Yeah. That'll get the biggest laugh. Please. It will have laughs. It's like when I challenge you to the ice bucket challenge. All this stuff, we keep this stuff. This is culture. Yeah, Coney2012, of course.

We have a guest on our show from a couple weeks ago that recorded an episode and did a Hawk 2 a joke, but we haven't released the episode yet. He texted Sean just being like, hey, please hurry. This is not gonna last forever. The fuse is shorter than it is. Yeah, and I could feel the window closing,

and now I think we are just gonna kind of time release it. I went on Doughboyz the week it came out, and we talked about it for like 20 minutes, and the episode comes out mid-November. Wait, wait, wait. Like post-election, we'll know who the president is and we're talking about him. Congratulations on doing Doughboyz, I mean.

Oh, thank you so much. Good work if you can get it. I think this episode comes out in August, so feel free to do your best to date as much as we can in this episode as well. Now this surprises me, you guys have never been on Dill Boys? We have. It just doesn't feel like it though, right?

It certainly doesn't feel like it. You never know it from their fan base. I think enough time goes by, then that episode probably gets like paywalled anyway. So it's like it didn't even really exist. Pie in the sky. Become a virgin.

Doughboys. It's true. Pie in the sky, Doughboys. It's true, it's actually true. Approach you guys, they say what place do you wanna review? I forget where you're both from originally. What restaurant were you two in? We're both from New England.

Okay. Oh, me too. Whereabouts? South, like Boston, Massachusetts. South Boston, Massachusetts. Yeah, like Hingham. Southy. Hingham, oh, the South Shore. South Shore, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm all about it. I know Hingham. You know Hingham? Oh, yeah. Yeah, was there not so long ago. What? Where are you guys from? I'm from Wellesley.

Oh, nice. That's okay. Yes, and Sean is from Connecticut. I'm from Connecticut,ley. Oh, nice. That's in Massachusetts. That's okay. Yes. And Sean is from Connecticut. I'm from Connecticut. From New Haven County, yeah. And so look, I mean like, you know, Mitch from Doughboys is kinda like,

that's his territory a little bit, is Massachusetts stuff. So not much edge for us there. We did, last time we were on, we did Subway four, like the fourth episode they've done Subway. I think it was the fourth time they'd done Subway, yeah. And so I guess it'd be like Subway four, like the fourth episode they've done Subway. And so I guess it'd be like Subway nine by the time we come back again. And hopefully we'll be like the Subway guys.

That'd be amazing. I think they just released like a foot long. Pretzel and cookie. Yeah, cookies, thank you, yes. There's no way the Doughboys haven't already covered that though. They didn't call the Subway boys and that kind of hurts, huh? I Can't feel anything

Well before you say that before you complete that sentence, let's do some riddles and we'll see if this awakens something deep inside you Usually it's frustration, but we'll see what happens. All right, let's do our first riddle here Did we oh we didn't ask Sean. Did we ask your's do our first riddle here. Mm-hmm. Did we, oh, we didn't ask, Sean, did we ask your relationship with riddles? We did. We did, I'm so sorry. We just didn't love the answer that we got. We're in a situation-ship.

I think mentally I was like, we'll cut that, and then I was gonna give you a butt. Yeah, we'll hit situation-shaping. Situation-shaping, I think, yeah. Okay, here we go, here's our first riddle. We travel much, yet prisoners are, and close confines to boot. We with the swiftest horse keep pace,

yet always go on foot. Foot is foot. On foot. I had to really force that rhyme. We travel much, yet prisoners are, and close confines to boot. We with the swiftest horse keep pace, yet always go on foot. FOOT.

FOOT. FOOT. I'm so sorry. Thank you, FOOT. I'm picking, my role in our joint riddle solving activities is in volleyball and like the setup. Yes, bump set. So the bump set for me is I'm hearing car elements. All riddles come from sort of a British origin. Boot, trunk, horsepower. Yeah, horsepower. This is phenomenal bump setting

And that's my you're not allowed to hit it twice and follow That's my touch and over to my friend here. Mm-hmm Okay, and I guess like Erin I don't really have to do anything at this point. No As I understand volleyball, it's a set, then you hit it, and then we have a chance to respond. And it's based on how you're dressed. It's usually bump sets. Bump set.

And typically one person will jump as if they're going to do something as like a decoy, right? Yeah. I'll go ahead and do that. That'll be me then. I'll just, a jump. Then this is indoor volleyball. Every time.

Aaron, we assumed. I don't know. You don't call, right? It Then this is indoor volleyball. Every time. Erin, we assumed. I don't know. You don't call, right? It's volleyball and beach volleyball. Beach volleyball is two on two, right? And then there's- It's shirts and skins. Beach volleyball is shirts and skins.

Always? Maybe it's just skins. Yeah. I was going in a different direction with this one. I feel like the answer to this is like sled dogs. Oh yeah. They're prisoners. They're definitely prisoners.

But they do like it, cause they're like work dogs and like dogs like working. They wanna run. Yeah, they wanna run. We went dog sledding in Alaska and- You and I? No. Yeah, okay.

I was like, I don't know if it's at all. My wife is in the room. Yeah, okay, gotcha. Metaphorically. And was like, I don't know if it's at all. My wife is in the room. Yeah, okay, gotcha. Metaphorically. And the guy, as we were going to the sled, he was tying up all these dogs, and there's 40 dogs in kennels looking at us screaming, and we're like, whoa, that's a lot of noise.

And he's like, they're screaming because they want to come with. And I'm like, okay. I had to trust him. Because I didn't have one of those button machines, the button mats that dogs can press. So am I right about it being sled dogs? You're not.

Well, and I'm sorry to say that's pretty cool. Well, I would like to see a scene. The three of you who are on the couch right now, you are three sled dogs. JPC, it's your first day, and you're sort of giving him the lay of the land. Okay. So, yeah, so he's coming now.

He thinks that we want to go... Okay. On a sled dog trip. It's, it's, it's so he does and it's easier actually to let him keep thinking that. If that makes sense. Sure, yeah. Like... Is it not good to go on the sled dog trip? Not really.

You can't... so as a dog, like when I'm going, I kind of want to do my own thing a little bit. Oh, yeah. No, that makes sense. Yeah, because if you get like a good smell or something. This is... thank you. Yes. This is exactly what I mean. Okay. a good smell So like you would think oh, we'll just tell him you don't want to go which we've tried But for some reason when I tell him I don't want to go he thinks he's saying I really want to go

Yeah, yeah Yeah, so what you just didn't you would just go more. Yeah It's always gone like the answer is always going. You're going. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Okay, is there a way to not go?

We haven't found it yet. That's actually, we were sort of hoping that you were gonna be bringing that to us. We were like, oh great, fresh set of eyes. I'm not a problem. Sure, no, no, no, yeah. This is ideal. Okay.

So, yeah, just lay it on me if you've got a way to not go that would be Could we make ourselves sick? Like if we eat like grass or something to one of like cuz I've done that a bunch to eat grass to like want to throw Up that's mostly snow here. That's why That's why they do it when it's snowy outside Yeah, can't eat the grass cuz I can eat snow forever and feel fine It's snow and grass are sort of natural enemies. Yeah eating snow Yeah, it's really just drinking water. Yeah, which is good like a big dog thing. Yeah, boy

Yeah, oh have you tried like being like I don't want to go. No, that's the thing Yeah, and he does interpret that Wanna go all right dogs. Are we ready to go? Oh? Hey actually today. It would be amazing if we could just not go just today. I love it. Let's go, okay Is it like a train is it wheels is it a, is it the foot thing that is messing me up? Oh, what about this? It's a lot of buildup. Is it skis?

Okay. Boot, ski boot, ski boot. Yeah. Yeah. It's not skis. It's not going food. Yeah. Prisoners, they're stuck. Skis. Food, I was going food. Yeah. Prisoners, they're stuck.

Ski is actually, in terms of like the word, is pretty close. You said wheels. I'm not overly familiar with the answer here, but I feel like there's a wheel component to it. Like I feel like it spins, I think. You have not heard of what the answer is. I just, know I have

Struggle coming up with not just real perspective, but not having heard Because you've heard of a decent number You've experienced but I've heard of the word word, and I know in concept what it is. I've never touched this item, I've never worn this item, I've never interacted with this item. Now this I can rock with. It sounds like skis, it's kinda similar to skis. You said it sounds like it, or like the word is structured?

The word is very similar to skis. And I'll give you two. Consonant consonant vowel. The paddle's never touched it. The word is very similar to skis. And that it's like, you two. Consonant, consonant vowel. Adels never touched it. You two, and don't say it. A woman. Don't say a woman. Yeah. I knew.

Could the answer be a woman? My spider sense. Well Adel's wife is, yeah. But you notice how they're so far apart. Yeah, I know. They couldn't touch if they tried. I think you two, I think this will help you two. Uh-huh. Okay.

Avery Johnson. Sp-huh. Okay. Avery Johnson. Spurs? Spurs. Yeah, it's spurs. Spurs. Oh, okay, yeah, that's great. That would carry.

How is that word like skis? Okay. It starts with an S and ends with a S. They keep up with the horse. It's plural. It's plural. It's plural. Spurs and skis, they're kissing cousins.

If you shut a dictionary, they're kissing. What even are spurs? They are both foot accessories, right? Spurs are little, they're on a boot and they spin maybe, and you kick your horse with them. Don't they dig into a horse? They dig into a horse? I think so.

No, but they like it, Aaron, like the snow dog. Oh yes, of course. They really like getting stuck with the little spur thing. Most horses are like S&M freaks. Skis is a decent guess. Yes. That's really all I wanted. And we should say, Sean, you win the bonus points.

Closest guess. Has anybody worn spurs before? No. Never worn spurs. Not on my feet. I've never ridden a horse. I'd like to see a scene. Sean and Adol, you are two cowboys and you're about to have,

what are those fucking called? Guns? Like a what? A duel? A duel, like a gun duel. Like a showdown? Yeah, in the middle of town. And you're both like.

This podcast is cowboy specific. It's a growth area for sure. We're working on it. We have a tutor that comes in. He's a cowboy. A live show in Kansas City coming up. And you're both trying to be like cooler than the other one

All right, you asked for this Because I want it. All right, it which is why I asked good. I want it too I was gonna ask if you didn't ask I'm the main want her of it. I am I because I'm not scared at all All right, whatever you say a clean duel no spitting no cussing ten paces turn and shoot Only ten make it 20 make it 30 Triplet Make it triple 30. Oh boy 90 paces each

You'd be clear in different parts of the town Shut up we're vying for your love. Shut up. Come on now. Hey, um, hey crocodile Doug. I'm just such a dang good shot crocodile Doug. Boy, I haven't been called that in a while. I damn near forgot that was my nickname.

Go ahead. Go ahead kangaroo Jack. I get called that every second of every day. People can't wait to say that. I wanna do this for sure. I wanna do this, but. And as established, I'm one of the main wanters. Good, we wanna talk too.

Do our guns, how far do our guns go? Because I've shot bottles off of fences, I've shot people who cheated cards at the table. Um, 30 paces. I've never shot. You're better on me. I haven't actually been able to hit any of them. I'm working on y'all's two coffins and I just have an issue with some of

the specifications that y'all ordered. You each asked for bigger rims than the other ones coffin and not only am I having trouble figuring out exactly where to put the rims I don't understand how both of each of yous can be bigger than the other ones. Well one you're throwing away money because one of us will probably live. Two, I asked for white walls, he asked for rims. Now white walls, I think he'd know what to do with them. Specifically spinners. Okay, he wants spinners, I want white walls. What's taking so long? I want to see a murder.

Shut the fuck up, sorry. I can't keep the town closed down all day. All the businesses have to stop when a duel goes on. I mean, we got people that need to go to the bank. I just hope I don't get a you know Forfeit from the duel if I spit which I just really have to do right about now I feel the spit coming you know then I get disqualified. Yeah, that would be Now you cussed and you spit and you know I gotta disqualify you both. No, come on.

Blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam. Oh God. Did I hit you, did I hit you? Yeah, and I was cheating cards, I deserved it. See. Oh man. Hock-to-a. I can't wait to hear you make that joke in 2028.

It's gonna kill. I thought it was Hock-to, and then she was on stage with some country artist and she screamed Hawk Too-a, and I was like, is it Hawk Too-a? I thought it was Hawk Too. Some country artist. Likely Zac Brock. I do not know.

I know Toby Keith. That's so fucking funny. And then I've been on stage with Kenny Chesney, and I'll never forget that. And you didn't touch spurs while you were on stage? How did you avoid them? It was Kenny Chesney and Kid Rock, and I think they're both pretending to be what they are. Was it Kid Rock who hit his head at the Tonys?

Who hit his head? Kid Rock would not be the Tonys. Is it Bret Michaels? Remember, I always forget which one is which. When did they hit their head on? Was Kid Rock presenting? A set came down and hit, might've been Bret Michaels. Okay. If it's the Tonys,

I think it was probably Kid Rock. Let's look. Kid Rock would make a little more sense at the Tonys, I think. No. It was like eight years ago. I'll find it. We'll have to figure this out. And then we'll have to do it on the podcast.

All that's gonna come up is him saying, hey, authority. Even that seems wrong for Bret Michaels or Kid Rock at the Tonys. Well, which one of them would- I guess Switchin Music would be nominated. I guess that's right. Yeah. But Kid Rock's music could not be turned into anything.

Let's do another riddle here. Yeah, please. Ball went to Broadway? Yeah, Brett Michaels injured during Tony's opening. A set came down and knocked him out. Wow. It's great, it's a great YouTube video for you to smile. No, it was Bret Michaels.

I've done this before, I've made that mistake. Not of love. All right, let's find the one I was looking at here. Behind the Barn at early morning. What was the name of the show? It was a Shot at Love. No, it's Tequila. That's Tequila, right?

Yeah. She's taking shots, she's tequila. Something Love. I'll look that up too. Sorry, I do. Rock of Love. Rock of's taking shots, she's tequila. Something love. I'll look that up too. Rock of love. Rock of love. Rock of love, yes, that was his show. But this is Brett Michaels.

Brett Michaels is the singer, not the wrestler. That's Shawn Michaels. You're thinking of Shawn Mendes, that's the singer. I've confused myself, yeah. Behind the barn at early morn, I heard a herald blow his horn. His beard was flesh, his mouth was horn. The like of him was never born a

Rooster yes, oh, okay a rooster has a beard of flesh. Oh, yeah Yeah, the waddle. Oh god those things are I don't like to look at that like of him was what? Says the like of him was never born and then in the answer it says says in parentheses, roosters are hatched, not born. Yeah. Which I guess is a. It's a stretch. That's a semantic argument there. I do wanna see a scene.

Erin, you are a barnyard rooster. Great. It is that time of the morning. Great. Morning, I said. Don't give me those eyes. And we'll say, Hayes, you are a farmer who's just kind of, it's not, this isn't working out.

Hey, good morning. Hey. Wake up. Hey, good morning. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. Good morning. So I wanna just have the conversation again about being in the barn, about staying in the barn when we're doing our little morning routine. But you sleep in here and I gotta come wake you up.

I do sleep in here, that's true. Traditionally, the way it works is you stay in the barn, you do the little rooster crow, I get up. The way things are, you might notice, I sleep flat on my back in the nude. And so just having you in here. These are nice pillows. Observing my activities.

Yeah, well I have to sort of place them under my buttocks area to just like get my, I have reverse gird. And so like normally- I'm not asking these questions by the way. This is information you're offering. Well, I mean, it's like, you know, ideally we wouldn't be having this conversation at all, which is what I'm saying. But since you're here,

since you're commenting on the pillows, I don't want you going back out there and saying, oh, he has five pillows stacked up under his like buttocks area to lift his genitals into the air for some kind of like sex reason. And we do cut to the we cut to Aaron the rooster talking to two pigs on the farm. Oh my god guys it's gotten way weirder. More pillows. Spill. Yeah. Okay so weird. First of all I think he's covering himself with oil or lotion before he goes to bed, it's disgusting. And then he-

Well, I mean, that was glisten. Yeah. Also, look who you're talking to. I mean, that don't sound half bad. Right. Yeah. Five pillows stacked up. What do you mean it doesn't sound half bad?

Well, I'm a pig, I can say it. Don't tell me about- Five pillows stacked up under his butt, sobs himself to sleep every night, saying his ex-wife's name over and over and over again. And we cut to a few days later, the farmer is addressing all of the livestock and farm because the rumors have gotten back to him.

Hey guys, so glad that we could get everyone here together on such a short notice. Really thank you for making time in your schedules. So thank you for raising this issue again. So the way it works is my digestive juices go down too quickly instead of up. So that's what I've been calling out at night trying to figure out. So you and I are pretty much on the same, don't look at me, on the same page. And the hope is if I can get the juices to like level out in a way by reversing their gravitational flow, then-

Is Linda coming back? So once again, that's, I'm asking those questions. You can either have answers to the questions when I yell them at night and come into my room for that reason and that reason only. We can come in to answer that question. If you have an answer to either my specific gastrointestinal issue or whether my ex-wife, Linda,

if she is coming back and if I feel like if I could just say it loud enough, if I could just say it loud, if if I could just say it loud enough, someone will hear me and answer that question. I've got the answer. Oh, Frank, go ahead. Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank's name. Frank, Frank, Frank.

Okay, yeah, I'm sorry I named a pig Frank. You're not supposed to name him, and so I was like, no, it's okay I'll name him, but I went too far in the other direction. Wait, you're not supposed to name the pigs that you eat. Well, and so- I'm Frank. Okay, what am I learning right now? This is a comfortable-

And again, this is part of how I got this reverse Gert as eating. Frank's the only one with a name. He's eating the only one with a name. Anyway, you had an answer. I've got the answer. Linda's coming back to be with me. Well, Linda. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.

Just works. Peas and carrots, peas and carrots, Frank and Linda. Okay, I mean, honestly, it really was just about trying to get a handle on her location. See. See. See. Why don't we take a quick break?

Okay. Are we in the middle of a riddle right now? No, it was a rooster. It was a rooster. It was a rooster. Why don't we take a quick break? Okay. Are we in the middle of a riddle right now? No. It was a rooster. It was a rooster. Yeah, we all got that one pretty easy. Spurs, a rooster?

I feel like these- We all knew the answer. These are all basketball teams. Where do you think the roosters play? You know. Three seconds. One, two- The minor leagues?

We'll go to break. Break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, feeling happy, not really making time for myself, and I just wanted to get some advice. Yeah, you're just taking really big rocks, walking out into the lake, dropping them in. Yeah, I call it plopping them in. Um. Yeah. Hate that. I just hate plopping them in. I hate that.

Any advice? Yeah. Erin, I mean, if you really are having a tough time, why don't you use BetterHelp? Oh, right use BetterHelp? Oh right, BetterHelp. Yeah, BetterHelp is entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, maybe give BetterHelp a try. Yeah Erin, all you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist

and switch therapists at any time for no additional charging and no skipping of rocks Yeah I love this kind of therapy because you don't have to let stuff build up over time and then drive all the way to therapy Once a week you can just message your counselor anytime and they'll get back to you with a thoughtful response And Erin you're going way too far out with way too heavy of rocks I feel like you're not really you're gonna pl to plop one that's going to be a plop too far. Okay. So maybe just come back to the shore. Let's try skipping some. That could be fun. Yeah. Okay. But something you should never skip is therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to, showman cutting my name. Oh boy.

Oh, plomp. I get it. Got it. Love me. Um, at all. GPC. This is my first time listening to Hey, riddle, riddle, and it is exciting. This is fun. I'm having fun. Oh, it feels like you should have listened to it for the edits and whatnot. But Aaron, if you're listening to this show, there's a pretty decent chance you like riddles, escape rooms, crosswords, word puzzles. Hmm?

Yeah. For Aaron, I don't think necessarily. But yeah, but for other people, sure. Yeah. Well, if that even describes you just a little bit, you should check out this podcast. We Love the Puzzler with AJ Jacobs. And actually, I do love AJ Jacobs. Know It All is one of my favorite books

of the last 30 years, check it out. The Puzzler is hosted by bestselling author, AJ Jacobs. He gives fun audio friendly puzzles to celebrity guests and the listeners get to play along. Sort of like Wordle for your ears. Wordle's already for my ears, the way that I play it. I yikes, Use my ears. This might interest you.

Guests on the puzzler have included Dax Shepard, Jeopardy host Ken Jennings, and Neil Patrick Harris. And Neil Patrick Harris calls the puzzler delightful. Ooh. The show combines comedy and puzzles, so it's sort of a cousin to our show, and they've got dozens of original types of puzzles. They've got this one type of puzzle called Earbusses

that is like an audio rebus, rebus being one of my favorite types of puzzles and monkeys. And one of my favorite McIntyres. So the host AJ will say a word in a certain style or accent and it's a clue to a two word phrase. So if he said, for example, Erin, are you listening? I am. If he said, for example, Erin, are you listening? I am. If he said,

Tide, then the answer is rising tide. Or if he says, banana, no, he's not a minion, that's banana split. Banana. Oh, oh my God, I'd love that. Get it? It's a ton of fun.

I did just Google him and it does appear that he is a minion. So I don't know that it's, I don't know that that is also him being a minion, but it does look like, hold on, no, you know what I Googled? I Googled minions. So maybe I'm just.

Well, AJ is a minion to one. It's a ton of fun. That's great. Thank you. The podcast is a ton of fun. It'll tickle your brain. So check out the Webby nominated podcast from iHeart, the puzzler with AJ Jacobs.

Can't recommend this enough. Yeah, and also while you're at it, just image search minions. Look at these guys, they're so freaking cute. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Attention farm animals, it's iCharlotte. You've all seen that I've written some pig or something on my web. Well now I'm looking to make a website. Does anyone have suggestions?

Uh, yeah, you could use Squarespace, Charlotte. Okay, the rat has the floor. Yeah, I mean, if you would permit a horse to speak, Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. Sell anything from products to content at time, all in one place, all on your terms. Thanks, Zach the horse. I don't know why people say you're annoying.

And Charlotte, you can upload video content, organize your video library, and showcase your content on beautiful video pages. You can even sell access to your video library by adding a paywall to your content. Oh, thanks, Stephanie. Your fur doesn't look dumb at all. Huh? Sorry, it's going to be like a gossip website. Oh no, a gossip website plus Charlotte. You can make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools, except credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and ineligible countries offer customers the option to buy

now and pay later with afterpay and clearpay. Never pay with a ducks bill ever again. Sorry, that was forced. Thanks, Farmer Tom. I'm a farmer, not even a duck. Well, Charlotte, you can easily manage your clients and invoices from vetting leads to receiving payment via invoices in one streamlined customizable workflow. I'm inspired. Let me go back up to my web and start to spin. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey Charlotte, I read the website, what it said about horses and uh, I'm gonna eat you. Snort. Snort. about horses and I'm gonna eat you. Hey Aaron Adel, thanks for joining me. Unfortunately I have to give you guys back your $250. I just don't think, I thought I would be able to teach you JPC but it's just like language

wise it's just like too difficult to learn how to speak it Well that that makes sense yeah, I did Yeah, actually keep the 250 because I've been learning through babble. Have you heard of babble? Oh Wait babble isn't that the science-backed language learning app that gets you talking? But they don't even teach you JPC on that app. That's not even one of the official languages you could learn. Well, it's just I've been holding back on travel plans because I'm afraid of the language gap.

But with Babbel, there's no need to mind the gap because they teach you whatever language you want to learn. And I don't have to waste hundreds of dollars on private tutors like yourself. That's the old school way of learning a new language. All I have to do is go to Babbel's 10 minute lessons that are so quick and handcrafted by over 200 language experts, ready to get you talking your new language in three weeks. Because talking is the key to really knowing any language.

Yeah, but Babbel is designed by real people for having real conversations. Babel, you know, gets you talking, but you know JPC is designed by one crazy man that's to talk in a language that only one person in the world understands. Isn't that better? We agree. I mean I'm going to Japan soon and I've been using Babel to learn some Japanese. Yeah, but with JPC you can learn to say thank you like a thousand different ways. You can go, and hey, no, oh. Those are both thank you in JPC.

Oh boy. Yeah, a lot of JPC is just going, hey, get out of here. Oh, okay, thank you, I have lost a little weight. Don't just take my word for it. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and beyond continue to prove Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours little wait. Don't just take my word for it. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and beyond continue to prove Babbel works. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours

is equivalent to a full semester at college. That's amazing. With over 16 million subscribers sold, Babbel's 14 award-winning language courses are backed by a 20-day money-back guarantee, so no pressure at all. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60%

off your Babbel subscription but only for our listeners at Babbel.com slash Riddle. Get up to 60% off at Babbel.com slash Riddle spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash Riddle. Rules and restrictions may apply. Do you want to say that in JPC? Oh absolutely. And if you want me to translate that for you, then mow me. Don't, don't, don't, don't. We were just congratulating Seanan Hayes on the Boston Celtics winning. Um, congratulations. Congratulations also on Jalen Brown being left off team USA. That's huge for us.

Yeah. Big hop tour on Jalen Brown. Yes. Um, that's interesting. He did do, uh, a Monocle guy emoji. Uh, like the inquisitive sort of, yeah, I saw that. Yes, which I interpreted as he's just keeping a dignified stiff upper lip through the whole thing. You know, keep calm and carry on and all that.

Famously the smartest man in the NBA, I believe. I believe that's right. He's the all time, in the history of humankind, not just basketball. I think he's the youngest person to ever give a speech at Harvard or something. Something incredible. Yeah. Um, something incredible like that. And his Twitter handle is F C H W P O, which is a riddle that no one else has

been able to crack exactly what it. This show might be the place to go at that. F-W-P- F-C-H-W-P-O. Pachupo. That's from Oklahoma, right, Erin? Yeah. Pachupo, pachupo.

That's Music Man, that's so funny. I'm so sorry. No, how dare you? And Addle, really great job on bringing Erin into that conversation. Thank you so much. I, too, am from Boston. I'm like, oh, we'll talk basketball. Then I'm like, I'm so sorry, guys.

Um, Aaron, if you had to root for a team, you've been to a Celtics game. Yeah, like maybe 10 times in my life. Back in the Reggie Miller days? Yeah. Not Reggie Miller, Reggie Lewis. Reggie Lewis. No, but he also, he passed.

Oh, thank God, an entrance for me. Reggie Miller was on the Pacers, my good man. So sorry, I was gonna get to you with Reggie Miller. Thank you, he passed. Oh, thank God, an entrance for me. Reggie Miller was on the paces, my good man. I was gonna get to you with Reggie Miller. Thank you, thank you. Let's get to some riddles, something we all agree that we hate. Yeah, well, yeah, yes. Okay, here's our next rule.

Since we brought up Reggie, we were just talking about him on a Flavor It Ones episode, our basketball show that we do. And he was a player I really liked when I was six. And I was just talking about seeing him so much that my parents eventually had to be like, hey, he died. It's just not a conversation you're expected to have to have to have your favorite basketball

player. He had a heart issue on the court and then he died after that. At least you weren't there when that happened. That would be scarring. You were like six then he died after that. Oof. Yeah. At least you weren't there when that happened. That would be scarring. You were like six when he died? I was six or seven when he died. Oh, wow. He was my favorite player, and so eventually they just had to be like,

hey, you have to stop asking about him. You're like, mom, I can't find my Reggie Lewis or my Drozden Petrovic jersey. Where did you put them? Here's the next riddle. A person is and this is we're getting past the 19th century with this. Okay. A person is on an airplane when a fire breaks out. Oh thank God for that warning otherwise it'd be like what the fuck? They panic and they decide to open the emergency door and throw themselves out of the plane. Although they are not wearing a

parachute they are uninjured and survive their exit from the plane. How is this possible? It hasn't taken off yet. It hasn't taken off yet. Jim, is it possible to open the door? Well, you said an airplane, right? Jim is here and I just checked with her and she said it's not possible to open those doors, so. The plane was on the ground at the time of the fire,

it hadn't taken off yet, so. Sean and Aaron go. But still you need a special tool to open the door. I've seen them use the tool. Not if you're hopped up on adrenaline. Hell yeah. I think someone, I think this week someone fell 30,000 feet from a flight and lived or something.

What? I saw this. Did you see this? I think if you go limp, you don't die cause it's the tensing up that kills you. Yeah, that makes sense. That can't be real. From 30,000 feet, it's gonna kill you no matter what.

Depends what you land on to. Yeah. Like if you land on top of a tall car, it'll actually collapse. It'll take the weight of the fall. You guys make fun of me, and I'm gonna look this up. Okay, great. Talking about, let me look this up.

Sounds like someone was trying to get Adol to jump out of a plane. Yeah. It also, it was a text. It kind of sounds like a parent's conversation with a six-year-old when they're like, no, he lived. Like he fell 30,000 feet out of a plane and now he's upstate on a farm.

He's okay, he's having fun. Not an ouchie, but he's actually doing good. Mommy and daddy kissed it and it's all better. Okay, what I found from 2019, so this wasn't recent, but I thought there was a recent one. Woman survived a plunge of more than 5,000 feet after her parachute failed. So that's in the middle. We meet in the middle.

We're both half right. We're both in the middle of the 5,000 in 2019 pre-COVID. Mm-hmm. Have either of you guys skydove before? Never, never. No. Any interest? I bungee jumped once.

How was that, scary? Yeah. Yeah. But interest? I bungee jumped once. How was that? Scary? Yeah. Yeah. But I liked it. But it was, yeah, it was scary. I got scared and I think I would be really scared of skydiving too. I do want to see a scene.

Sean, you are a skydiving instructor with, I think it's like tandem. Aaron, you're skydiving for the first time. Are they on the back of the person, right? Because they're the one who controls the ship. The instructor's on the back. So you're on the back of Aaron, Aaron, you're jumping for the first time. Your old hat, you're the instructor

and you're just about to jump out of the plane. Okay, so we're about to get on out of here and before we go, look, obviously the plan is always for it to go well but if something does go wrong I'm on top of you I'll be fine oh okay right so just is there any buddy you want me to reach out to or contact I mean I have like two kids. I survived the fall in sort of your mush. Um wait sorry sorry I just went out a bunch of paperwork on the ground and didn't say anything about this. Well you're jumping out of a plane obviously one person's out the back one person's on the front person in the front's in a

lot more danger person on the back basically has a big mush cushion underneath them so I'm just saying look I'm gonna pull the chute. I've done it a bunch of times, never had anything go wrong. But also- But hypothetically, if it doesn't come out, we could just, you could like turn it in the air and then I could fall on you and you could be the mush. Just the way the pack works and everything,

it's just not, that's not gonna happen. And so I just wanna say say look fingers crossed obviously the shoot usually works great how many times have you done this oh god you're gonna make me put a damn number on it I'm the instructor yeah like 2,000 3,000, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just first thing I thought we're about to jump out of an airplane. So I'm just going yeah How but yeah, I just got you can see in my search history I'm just making sure does it work up this high and it doesn't work great. It's slow But it's how you know, how does a parachute work? Where's the ripcord? Can I look in your backpack? Oh god, you're sneaky. He's right in my face get strapped to somebody and there's nowhere to sneeze.

Okay, an opportunity has presented itself. You guys have hat pack hats. I will be buying one, those are incredible. What do we have to do in order to sell in the Hey Riddle Riddle merch store, some sweatpants that on the butt say mush cushion? I'd do it. You would? Yeah, we can sell that. Yeah, we do have to hold three of us side off on it? Yeah, we can sell that.

Yeah, we do have to have all three of us side off on it. I guess we can sell that. That's gross and I don't want to sell it, but if anyone buys it, I guess I'll sell it. I guess I'll sell anything that anybody wants. I'll do anything, really. You grab me by the ear and press your lips to me. Up and down I move like a boat on a choppy sea.

Hot and dark to look at, I'm known throughout the earth. Grasp me by your hand, sorry, grasp me in your hand. My scent and taste gives me worth. What am I? Like a trombone instrument. Wow. It's a great guess, it's not that. You grab me by the ear and press me to your lips.

Up and down I move like a boat on a choppy sea. Wow. It's a great guess, it's not that. You grab me by the ear and press me to your lips. Up and down I move like a boat on a choppy sea. Hot and dark to look at, I'm known throughout the earth. Grasp me in your hand, my scent and taste give me worth. A coffee cup. A cup of tea. It is a mug of coffee. Wow.

And did you say mug of tea? I said cup of tea, yeah. Both pretty much got it at the same time. And then I'll just say that I was thinking corn, so I was wrong on that one. Grabbing by the ear, that makes sense. You said grab by the ear and I stopped listening and I said corn.

Yeah. You go up and down like a C when you're eating corn, right? That's like a C works. It's more of a typewriter, right? Yeah, like a C. Side to side? Yeah, typewriter C, it's the same shit, side to side.

Yeah. Corn works, just say it's good. JBC, you're in such a vulnerable position sitting in the middle of that conversation. Yeah, typewriter C, it's the same shit, side to side. Corn works, just say it's good. JPC, you're in such a vulnerable position sitting in the middle of that couch. The middle is the worst. And the scent of corn is, of course, it's true appeal. We do wanna see, we'll say our couch boys, the three of you, we'll do a, do you remember,

you might, I don't know, I don't know anybody's age here, except for JPC I guess. Do you guys remember the Folgers commercial where it's like, somebody comes home from- Oh, the brother and the sister. Brother and the ancestor. The ancestor commercial. Or like the Jean-Luc, there's like, what was that guy's name in Paris? Jean, like, coffee commercials used to be a big, big thing.

So I want to harken back to the 90s and the three of you will do, put your own spin on a coffee commercial. big thing so I want to harken back to the 90s and the three of you will do put your own spit on a coffee commercial. She's dole huh? What a big sleep. I know what I need to get started. I got bad news for you. Don't really ate it last night

He did I I thought he was gonna pull it out. He didn't even really get close Can hardly even hear you I'm feeling so day He said you all need it last night. I could I could use something to pick me up as well Absolutely turfed out. I thought we were gonna be done with this fool. But then Dol did not come through for us last night. It's had to be the worst debate performance I've ever seen or will ever be seen. Yup, and so sleepy though. ever be seen. Yup and uh...

So sleepy though. You know. And we gave him five hundred dollars. That money's gone. So now we don't even have money for coffee. I wasn't even thinking about that. No money for coffee. And it's Derek's last day before war.

A war that Bob Dole could have put it into. And it's Derek's last day before war. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha on the plane to Bosnia. Well, there's no coffee. I really wish there's no coffee. There's no coffee. There's nothing to be done. Well, great. So since there's no coffee, I guess I'll fucking die. Vultures. See? The best part of waking up, Bob Dolly in your cup. Vultures does not support the Bosnian War.

Yeah. Okay. Outstanding. But that use, I don't think I've seen a coffee commercial. Do they run out of money? Since college, maybe. Or maybe it's a thing of like, it's so ubiquitous people are like.

But are people drinking like Folgers anymore? It's all Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, I feel like that was prior to like the chain coffee places opening up, you know. I feel like that's where all the marketing money is now. But even that is just Dunkin' Donuts, right? Is there other coffee chains that you see commercials for? That's fair.

No, I don't see them either. There are podcasts, and there's one podcast in particular that I'm thinking of that advertise for things like Kit Kat, and I'm always like, who's hearing about Kit Kat for the first time on a podcast? Like that seems like a, especially, hey, if Kit Kat wants to buy some ads, we'll sell it. We'll do, I'll do a KitKat ad.

They're not gonna now. Well, they're not, because they got it for free. They just said, we don't need it. This is a Magic Tavern Burger King tie it all over again. That's the dream. Burger King blew us off. Yeah, because you already gave them the fucking advertising.

They go, why would we pay for this? You're already, and we're like a, Some ads purpose are just to like trigger a craving though. So it's like you've heard of Sprite, but you're supposed to see a commercial for Sprite and be like, actually sounds really refreshing right now. That's why they do the- Ah.

Yeah. Cause you're like, oh no, I'm thirsty. It'd be me doing that. I can do that. Ah. Fuck that noise. I've never made that noise in my life and I'd love to have a Sprite to make it.

Is Snapple still around? No. Snapple is the drink exists. It's kinda hanging on. Fructopia, I don't think we have that. That's it anymore. Cook, that's been gone for a long time. I think you can get it in Canada, I believe.

I believe you can still get Fructopia in Canada. You're thinking of Clearly Canadian? I'm thinking Clearly Canadian. That's like a ginger ale. Or Orbitz? And you know what, I'm thinking of Orbitz. Orbitz, the little bubbles's like a ginger ale. And you know what, I think of orbits. Orbits, the little bubbles. Little floaties. Little boba tea before there was boba tea in America.

Let's do another riddle here. In his own home, a person watches whilst a robbery takes place. Yet they do not respond and they do absolutely nothing. I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. A TV turned on behind you. Oh, there is breaking news. Oh, a TV was on.

Is that maybe the answer to the riddle as well? Betty White is clutching the casket. Oh, good, and now it's playing. Oh, it's a Hallmark movie, never mind. That might be the answer to the riddle. Are we getting a clue here that it was all happening on a TV? Yes, he was watching a robbery take place on the screen.

Well, this sucks. We just watched a two-hour long movie in silence. Sam is over there. This actually sucks because Sean just got it. The robbery is silent. I got it first. Hayes got it. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Hayes got it. Minutes ago. Hayes got it. The robbery is happening on television, on a television drama they are watching. Hayes. Doesn't sound that dramatic. You didn't respond at all.

Mm-hmm. Didn't say a word. I'm watching a really good robbery on TV. I'm like, oh no. At the very least we'll say, eesh. And that's your Cathy Ack, right? That's my version of Cathy's Ack. Yeesh.

I can't all do Ack. Yeah, and Ack wouldn't be appropriate in a robbery either. Yeah. That's more of a yeesh situation. Ack sounds too much like a gun firing. Kind of dangerous in a robbery either. Yeah. That's more of a yeesh situation. Act sounds too much like a gun firing. Kind of dangerous in a robbery situation. They say that. They say in a robbery situation,

you're never supposed to say stuff like act. No Ziggy, no Cathy, no Dilbert. Erin, what noise would you make if you woke up to a robbery? Men. Of course. Again? Again. Did you say Again? Again. Did you say men?

Yep. Oh, yeah. I said again, but men is way funny. I heard men. Men. Men. I think I give a sort of a- Men will literally rob me of my therapy.

I think under my breath, I'd give a little, what have we here? Just to seem, I think if someone's curious, they're not going to do anything. Yeah, that's right. Hello, what's this? What's all this then? Oh, and this is a new riddle. Oh, good. Oh, to receive such a thing.

It gives your soul a little zing. To get one can bring you maximum joy, whether you're a girl or a boy. Dumb. This is head, motherfucker. Yeah. Everybody likes getting sucked off and sucked out. Oh. Sucked down is awful.

You're gonna feel stupid when you hear this next line. No, I won't. Its message can be so sincere. Wow. Its message can be so sincere. Wow. Its message can be so sincere. And sometimes cause a little tear. Yeah. What is this?

Yeah, I guess getting sucked down. Yeah. I think it might be getting sucked down, right? Yeah. That was. Gotta be dope. Could it possibly? Can you check if it's getting sucked down?

Have you read the answer? Yeah, scroll down for the answer and see if it's dope. Sound like an epic case of dope. Look on your phone if it's getting sucked down? Scroll down for the answer and see if it's dope. Sound like an epic case of dope. Look on your phone if it's getting sucked down. Erin with just a straight blank face saying, yeah, I guess it's getting sucked down is the title of this episode. I think so.

That whole sentence, Erin with a blank face. Guys, think more. Go from the top. Pull back. Can you give us from the top? We're too tight of zoom. Pull back. Go from the top, because I could only picture one thing.

I'm going to put that from my mind. Is it a compliment? Wow. It's somewhere in between a compliment and getting sucked down. And dome. OK. Oh, to receive such a.

Getting sucked down is a little bit of a compliment, ultimately. Like a love letter? Like a letter? In the form of getting sucked down? Hey, baby, it's a compliment. There's no greater compliment than don't. A coupon book, one free mow the lawn, one free do the dishes, one free suck down.

Oh, to receive such a thing, it gives your soul a little zing. To get one can bring maximum joy, whether you're a girl or a boy. It's a message, its message can be so sincere and sometimes cause a little tear. What is this? I do love a love note, that's a great answer. Like a card, its message can be so sincere and sometimes cause a little tear. What is this? I do love a love note.

That's a great answer. Like a card, a love letter. Yeah. That is, that's a fantastic, this thing might A phone call. Is it a gift? A smooch. Just a little smooch. It's a kiss. Yes.

Wow. That's all pretty similar to I always see it right the whole time. Yeah, I can't believe you didn't at least say that that was close. It's close. Getting sucked down on a kiss. What does the actual answer say?

Yes, what does the actual answer, does it say dome? Two words, a kiss. Well, they don't say where it goes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good point. What is dome if not a kiss? A little kiss. A little kiss.

Every kiss begins with dome holders. No, it'd be every dome begins with kiss. Yeah, it'd be every dome begins with kiss. A little kiss. Every kiss begins with No, it'd be every don't begins with kiss. Yeah, it'd be every don't begins with kiss. No one's listening at this point. We're 52 minutes in. We're safe, we're safe everybody. No one can hear this. All right, we're gonna do one more riddle.

One more riddle. Okay. All right. No, we did that one. A person has just left a hospital appointment and is making their way home. On the way, they hear a phone ringing. They are very excited and race home to give their family the great news.

What was the news? They're not deaf. That's right. That's a great answer. Sean, that's the answer. The hospital has cured the person of deafness. Oh, interesting. And knew that this was the case

when he heard the phone ringing. On the way home. On the way home. Okay, so they wanted to test this for everybody. So the doctor was like, everyone just be, just shut up. Everyone just be quiet. I gotta plan. They're walking ahead of the person, just like, hey, stop. Everyone stop talking.

They've shut off all traffic on the roads. It's like a shootout, like there's a shootout happening. Close down the main street. Because the doctor's like, we want it to be a wow moment, and it won't be a wow moment if as soon as they wake up, we're like, hey, welcome to the hot, you know. Can someone call local air traffic control and make sure no planes fly overhead?

Let's just, while they're in the waiting room, let's go shoot all the birds. And don't not talk to them, because they'll think something's up. Talk to them, but just don't make any sound when you do it. Just lip flap. Yeah. It's a surprise that the surgery worked.

It's cruel fucking doctors. I got this great riddle idea. Okay, hold on. We're gonna do one more. I on. We're gonna do one more. I'm gonna lie, we're gonna do one more. This is also, we had a burglary one that was the TV. This is another burglary. Those are the best ones.

A person is burglary. They're kind of scary. Burglary riddles. It's thrilling. They are, they get like fucking juices pumping. Once it's revealed that it wasn't like anyone was really in trouble. It was on the TV.

And there's like five of us here and the lights are really bright. Yeah. I'm not getting super scared. Yeah. But that won't be the case when I'm trying to go to sleep. It's scary in life. In a fun way.

Yeah, when I have a loaded up thing. There will only be four of us here. There will only be four of us here. A person is standing in the living room of a house. OK. There is no one else in the house. Suddenly, the person puts their hands in the air. Next they laugh and let their hands drop.

They exit the building. Can you explain this? They're doing, oh, they're recording like a TikTok dance video, uh, into their phone and this is like a new TikTok dance where it's like your hands go in the air and then they come down and you'll laugh. That is a great guess and topical, but it is not correct. Is that topical? I think so.

Can you say, do you read the beginning again? Yes, a person is standing in the living room of a house. There is no one else in the house. Suddenly the person puts their hands in the air. Next, they laugh and let their hands drop. They exit the building. Why did they leave? There's a parrot in there and it says-

Fucking Christ, yes. Wow, nice. How are you two doing this? The person in the house is a burglar. There is a parrot in the house who has spoken the phrase, stick him up. And the burglar thinks this is someone with a gun. However, they swiftly realize it's the parrot,

which makes them laugh and leave the house. I'd like to see a scene. Sean, you're a parrot. You're his owner and you're his owner, and you're trying to talk him out of saying weird stuff when other people are around. Okay, so as a family, we put together a list of fun stuff that you could say, hi daddy, where's my breakfast,

Hi, Daddy. Where's my breakfast? Happy birthday would be so nice. I'm not holding out to get happy birthday, but that would be amazing. It is today, though. So if you did, I don't want to speak, but it's today. So it'd be a perfect time to say happy birthday. If we could get to happy birthday today, but again, even if it's as little as hi daddy, like that would be really nice.

So can we try, can we start with one of those and see if we can move forward from some of the stuff that we've been saying? The earth is flat. Okay. So. That's an improvement. That is flat. Okay. So... That's an improvement. That is a huge improvement.

That's the first one that wasn't slurs. I gotta say, I've almost declined. You know who made it that way, don't you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I mean that's fine. I think the earth is flat is fine and that in good and so we give him a cracker now

I I think To reinforce the second idea we missed our we missed the cracker window Sure knock knock knock hi just your boss from work here to drop off a birthday cake Wow What a nice workplace Yeah, you that you work in Michael Jordan was forced out of the league because of his gambling Wait, so did your parent what you didn't want to play baseball? Okay, okay cracker quick cracker cracker cracker cracker

That's fine. That's true. David Stern says, Sean and Hayes, thank you so much for being on today. Thank you so much for- Yes, thanks for having us. Always a hoot. Solving so quickly. It was impressive.

You're great at riddles. I think I had, and I think probably Sean did too, I think I had this book. I think. One of them. Not the kissing one, obviously, but the. That's a little too adult. Yeah.

Besides the, what I assume is in our store right now, the mush cushion. Mush cushions. To be less gross, we'll say that they're like Lance Armstrong rubber bands or whatever those are. What else is going on? Anything you'd like to plug or promote? We'll start with Hayes. We have the Hollywood Handbook podcast

Sean's not gonna have much to promote when I'm done We We have our Patreon as well where we're just kind of duking it out with you all on that Patriot list And where we're just kind of duking it out with you all on that, the Patreon list. And the flagrant ones, our basketball show is on there too. And we recently changed the name of our Patreon to Hollywood Handbook in France. So more people will be searching for it any day now.

You can trick more people into listening to basketball. That's right. Took a play from Garfield's book. Sean, I dare ask anything you'd like to provide. Yeah, it's gonna be so close to what Hayes said. I guess we also did change our Instagram handle. People wanna follow us on social media and we're dangerously close to actually getting

at Hollywood Handbook. Who has it? We have a friend. A fan. Oh no. More than a fan, a friend who has now agreed to give it up, but there's some like two week lag where, and this I guess will warn people to try and steal it before we can actually get it ourselves.

Do you guys have to give them like a signed bat and on tickets or something? We didn't offer anything. Not even a hat? And they didn't have the guts to ask. Wow. Well, now they will. Now that they've heard this, they might.

Well, send them a hat. Yeah, I'm so sure they're gonna listen to this. And hatpackhat.biz. It sounds like this guy's getting a hat and Adil, you still have to buy a hat. Yeah, like a rube. Sounds like we could maybe ask for it. You know, but I do, I do.

It's like the time to ask for a hat. Kevin has a hat. I would buy one. Kevin usually gives a hat away. He carries a hat and gives it away. I don't have that. Talk about a prisoner with stuff in his boot. That's Kevin in all these hats.

Like a mixed CD. I'm a long time listener of Hollywood Handbook. I have a friend got me into it shortly after the reality show show days. But my question for you two, which I've always wanted to ask you. What do you think is the perfect episode of Hollywood Handbooked who recommends

really get someone into the show? Perfect entry points. This really should be in the holster, shouldn't it? Yeah, we should have an agreed upon go-to answer of what is even a good episode. JBC, as a fan, do you have an episode? Well, this is a trick question really because I believe that there probably is no episode.

There's no single episode. That is a tough one, huh? That anyone could listen to. How about this? We had America's sweetheart, Iowa Debrion recently. We've had her a few times. You like her. And you're all the Chicago people listening to this show.

Come on, support I.O. and listen to Hollywood Handbook. Yeah. Yeah, I would say, I second that. That's a great app for people to get familiar with the show. Which is you reading a profile that was in- A few times we've read interviews back to her that she's done. Make her sit through her own answers.

That's so fucking funny. It's fun that the interviews have gotten more and more prestigious. Like every time we got more,'re like for stars, right? Yeah, you get an actual like legit profile. Yeah. Okay, well, Addle, do you have anything that you'd like to plug?

I'll plug our Patreon. We're gonna be doing maybe just a few more episodes. You can go to patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle. For now, yeah. Check that out. Erin, anything you'd like to plug and promote? I got nothing. JPC?

No, just like I've said, the live shows that we're doing in the Northeast this fall and New York and DC and Boston and not in that order you'll have to find out the order by going to hey riddle riddle comm slash live Oh, and what was the show? I think this is off air What was the show you're talking about right before the podcast the show that I was talking the that these two wrote up? Oh Okay, I do have one more plug is to go watch the grinder. I don talking about. That these two wrote on. Oh, okay, yeah, I do have one more plug is to go watch The Grinder. I don't know where it is. I don't know either.

iTunes could probably help you out there. You could probably rent it or something. I think it was on one of the fast platforms at one point. It was on like Tubi or Pluto or something. It wasn't on the, but I don't think it's on any stream right now. Over the many years, I've searched for it only to find that it wasn't on, and you I don't think it's on any stream right now. Over the many years I've searched for it only to find that it wasn't on, and you probably could buy it for like $20,

but season one of The Grinder from 2015, you're gonna love the two guys that are the leads on it, nothing problematic about them nowadays, but yeah, just go ahead and check out The Grinder. And you guys get a little piece of that, right? Good show, funny show. Now it's not on Pluto or any of those services, but it might be found on

Oh, Jupiter. Bye forever. Good setup, Adil. Wow, nice. Pluto TV. Created by Apple Refine. Hey. Starting Aaron Keefe.

And John Patrick Collins. Casey Toney did the editing. And Ari Parrish in the music. One, two,IDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE RIDDLE Hey there, oh no's and they didn'ts. If you liked that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We bring you the Real Housewives of Riddles City. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or start your 7-day free trial or the Review Crew for $8 a month and get those ad-free episodes. See you there!

That was a HateGum Podcast.