Hey Riddle Riddle - #331: There Goes My Isaac Streak w/ Colin Mochrie

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

One of our all time favorites, Colin Mochrie, joins us to talk improv and absolutely crush some riddles. What can't this guy do? If you answered a improv hypnosis show: wrong! Check him out touring with Hyprov! Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifSpecial Guest:Colin MochrieEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse ate Friday. One, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little Everyone gather around the table, gather around the table. I have prepared a meal. It is in kind of the trappings of my culture. And this is Indiana culture or? This is Indiana culture. Yes, this is, we still have some.

We have a little. We have, we have some, we have some there. So, yes. JTC, I'm saying this lovingly, there is a live turkey on this table. Yes, I- What's the plan? That, well that one I couldn't get off. I think the rest of my cooking has kind of attracted it.

So we'll be, we'll be sharing dinner tonight with that. But we are eating all of the trappings and the bounties of my people. Oh, thank God we're not. No, we're not going to eat the live turkey. If it gets any bigger, it could be a problem. No, we are going to be eating race car and soybean. Yes, race car, big in Indiana. Indiana grows a lot of soy. Yes

We go to race David Letterman David Letterman went to Ball State. Yes, of course Reggie Miller John Cougar Mellon camp as well on it was born there Has a museum there and in the museum there's a letter from his daddy never read or I didn't I didn't make anything I didn't make any dinner. I'm sorry. I forgot. I didn't make anything. I didn't make any dinner. I'm sorry, I forgot. I forgot I invited you guys over and I didn't make any dinner. I brought- I brought Colin Mockery, but what else do we have here?

Oh, what? You say what? Oh, sorry, I just brought the improv legend, Colin Mockery. I don't know if that's, is that okay if he's here or like, should I tell him to go away or? Oh, I didn't dress for the occasion. We should ask, Improv Legend, is that something, is that a term, a title that you like endorse?

You're like, yeah, Improv Legend, that should be my title. Normally no, but I'd say there's two or three people who deserve that title and I'd say he's on that Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore has two or three faces, right? Colin, please say hi. This is JPC and Aaron.

Hi. I don't like to use too much of my improv legend voice. I tend to just be. Of course, of course. Enjoy, enjoy. Thank you for having me. Thanks for doing this. Colin, this is absolutely surreal.

I think a lot of the people on the Zoom are kind of here because of you. So this is an extraordinary honor that you are joining us. Oh, thank you. On our little improv podcast. I'm sure all of you in the womb, as your parents were watching Who's Line, the first incarnation. Grandparents, yes. Yeah. Oh, geez, Erin.

Well, I mean, yeah, I yeah, not too far off because, like I said, I grew up in Indiana and believe it or not, Indiana does not have access to a lot of improv. So I cut my teeth watching Whose Line Is It Anyway episodes and that's really what was my gateway drug to get into improv when I got into high school. So what's cool, Colin, we've all now been performing improv for decades on our own, but I did a show this weekend and someone came up to me from the show and they were very nice and they listened to our show and they said that they started taking improv classes based on hearing our show and hearing people have fun doing improv and I thought that was very cool. And then I thought about it when you were coming

on as a guest and I was like, wow, this is like that's the circle paying itself forward because I wouldn't have gotten into it without you doing Who's Line? It's it anyway. It's pretty cool. I mean, one of the things I loved most about Who's Line was it did sort of bring improv into the mainstream and at least gave people an introduction of what it was.

So yeah, it's nice. It's lovely when people come up and say, oh yeah, I watched you since I was born and thank you for inspiring me. And there's some people, it's like, there's no way I'm older than you. You're lying. But it is nice. And I'm glad that the who's lying kind of has that, kind of had that push. And thank you for keeping it going. Yeah.

What was your exposure to improv when you were young? I was born in the last century. So there really was no improv. There truly was no improv. Jonathan Winters was the only sort of practitioner and then Robin Williams came along. But up to then there really was nothing and it wasn't till I saw a demonstration

of theater sports in Vancouver when I was in theater school, where I first saw improv and thought, oh, this looks like something it'd be fun to do in the weekends. Which is Viola Spolin's son, I forget his name. Is that right? There's a Canadian guy who started the comedy.

Yeah, what is? The guy who started theater sports was actually a British guy in Calgary named Keith Johnstone. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, that's right. So he, yeah, so it was improv and sort of a sporting venue. And I thought, yeah, this is something, never thinking, well, this will be my career. It wasn't a career at that point.

Nobody ever said, I'm going to be an improviser when I grow up. Yeah. It was something to do on the couch next to Carson. Exactly. Exactly. Did you ever do second city Toronto or anything like that? I was, it was at second city Toronto. Ryan Stiles and I grew up in Vancouver and he had been hired for second city for the, when expo 86 was in Vancouver. And so because they liked him, they brought him back to do main stage on, in Toronto.

And I moved out a little while later and he called up and said, Hey, there's someone, they need someone for the touring company. You should come audition. So I did. So I got that. And then the, the person who directed me became my wife. It was just a full-round life thing, Second City. Yeah, that's incredible.

Tough audition. Tough audition. For your wife or? Oh yeah, it was. There was a whole dishwashing thing that I thought, I can't. Well, you know, we've all three of us feel very grateful for the work that you have done exposing people to improv and now we feel what's the opposite of grateful because we have to expose you to a bunch of riddles. But that is kind of what we have to do. We don't really feel shame.

Shame. We're so sorry. Yeah. You know what? Just be grateful. Just be committed to that, because nobody knows. Nobody has to know what you're really feeling. Well, OK, I guess that's true. And it leads me into my next question.

What is your relationship with riddles? Riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, do you like them? He's like, I hate them. No, no. Okay, I'm pretty sure this is not a thing from your time on Earth. There was this series of books called Encyclopedia Brown. Oh yeah, Teenage Detective.

So that was kind of, there was that kind of riddle where he had to figure out, oh, no, penguins don't live in the Antarctic. That's why he stole lunch money or whatever the crime was. But yeah, every once in a while someone would come up with, well, if he saw the sawdust, he'd still be alive. And you go, what? And then, so they kind of obsessed me for maybe two months of my life. And then I forgot about it and lived. Had sex, drank and then it all worked out. Once you have sex, riddles really come in last. One day Colin, one day. This podcast will bring along our wives. Yeah Here's hoping you never know. That's the beauty Improv nerds man

They go for it Have you ever uh, Colin have you ever done an escape room before No, okay again. I've had sex It is one of those things I do. There's a show called Taskmaster, do you know it? Yes. It's one of my faves. Yeah, exactly.

And so for me, that's my kind of wriggle thing where I hear what the task is and my mind goes, how would I get out of doing this the way they think I would? And still fulfill what the challenge is, of course. Oh man, I would love to see you on that show. I feel like your level of mischief would fit very well in the total of the taskmaster. I would feel a little intimidated because both Canadians that have been on it, one went all the way.

Oh! May Martin and the other one. Yeah. Catherine. We remember the first. We always remember the first. Yeah. And then the second. Yeah. So yeah, I would love to. Yeah. So I do love riddles. I do like cryptic crosswords. The guy I tour with, Brad Sherwood, he is a major dick,

I guess, if you just constantly throwing riddles. Yeah. OK, well, we have some riddles today. I think some of them, I think it's impossible to say what the difficulty of these are. And I actually won't say what the difficulty of these are because that sets Everybody up to fail, but we're just gonna start with this one And this one is a riddle submitted from Neil and Neil says this is an Irish riddle and by that

I think Neil says that he It doesn't specifically have anything to do with Ireland But he got it from a book of Irish stories folklore and riddles that he had as a kid And this is the only one that he remembers. So here's the riddle. It's got a little bit of a story element to it. And again. I'm just saying that was probably one of the worst Christmas presents he ever got.

Yeah. Ha ha ha. It's a book of Irish riddles and I have to take it back to the library? What? Why? So there was this old couple sitting on a train, a man smoking a pipe and reading a newspaper and his wife with a small dog in her lap. Petting it and talking to it and feeding it little treats. As the journey went on, the train carriage started filling up with smoke from the man's

pipe. Eventually the wife got up, grabbed the pipe from her husband's mouth and yelled, I'm sick of you and your damn pipe and threw the pipe out the train window. The husband angrily turned to his wife, yelled, I'm sick of you and your damn dog! Grabbed the dog from his wife's hands and threw it out of the window. Eventually the train reached its destination and the couple got out and walked to the end of the train

and what did they see coming after the train but the wife's dog? And what did the dog have sticking out of its mouth? And that's the riddle. A tumor from smoking the pipe. It's not the pipe. It's not the pipe. No, that seems too obvious.

Yeah. Is it like a chunk of the wood that he clung to when he was thrown out or something? Like, was it? I don't know the heights from which he was thrown. I'm just having an image of a dog clinging to something. Yeah. Ah, just all teeth grabbing the back of the train.

Dead rabbit? Adeline, I love that. I think it's a little more visceral. This is more just like a silly children's story. Where we don't even know how the dog. Oh, JBC. Irish humor thing. I'm so sorry.

When the man takes a woman's dog and violently whips it out of a train window. You're right. I'm being I'm being I don't think we want to we don't want to emphasize the part about the dog You're thrown out of the trade window because that would be dog still alive Cuz the dogs running up to the train so the dog is still that would make sense Okay, if he ran up to yeah It is the the treat is still in its mouth from when she was feeding him treats earlier Aaron That is a really great guess and I love that you paid attention to

The first line of the riddle when you said that the dog was eating treats It's not a treat that was a good dog's man Is it a ticket for the train like it thought it would encounter an issue boarding the train again? Yes chewing gum that's when he was thrown out of the train. He blew a bubble That gently lifted him to the ground. And that's science. Look it up.

That's science. That's for sure some physics in there. I will say. So the treat is a treat important? The treat is not important. The treat is one of those like red herrings that gets thrown in. I will say that the answer to this is like. Dogs love red herrings.

Oh yeah. Any herring. Any sort of canned fish a dog will go crazy for any oily fish I'll say that the answer to this is first of all I feel you're really pumping up Aaron to make the rest of us feel bad And that turns out the treat had nothing to do with this. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's like him. It's a yeah, it's kind of, I'm just trying to get. Is it a smaller dog that's in his mouth? Oh, interesting. Another dog that another husband threw out of the train. I'd say the answer here is very like.

Divorce papers. You don't have to think too hard about it, and it doesn't have anything to do with the details of what we've heard in the story before. The dog is running up to the train. I'll read this one again. Okay, can I ask, what's the point? What's the point of this riddle?

This is what we've been saying, fuck riddles. So what would be the thing, is there something we learn from this riddle at the end where you go, well, he had a life insurance and it was always with him. I think what you'll get. Is it simply teeth? What's that, Adol? Is it simply teeth?

Yes, I mean, kind of, you're so close. A tongue.ue yes the tongue I do want to see a scene to sort of wash to serve wash the taste of our mouth Colin you're exactly right. He had the tongue his tongue Part of the show is watching guests get filled with a rage of a thousand times. The Irish have a lot to answer to. Neil said the Irish riddles are less riddles and more just kind of like a joke

that you get to the end and the dog's tongue is hanging out of your mouth. And I think the correct response is like, oh, oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. I do wanna see a scene.

Adil, what scene would you like to see? Aaron and Colin, you are Yeah, okay. I do want to see a scene at all. What scene would you like to see? Erin and Colin you are a married couple You're on vacation wherever you'd like to be and you're having sort of escalate an escalating fight in public where you're you're sort of one-upping each other with acts of anger Did you bring the camera I Would rather not commit any of this to memory, if that's okay with you. That's not really answering my question, did you bring the camera? I'm just a simple question, all I need is a yes I got the camera and then we can take some pictures, I don't need some sort of existential thing about oh I may have to go and remember

everything we're seeing. Sorry, the cute waiterers coming over. Hi. Oh I Was just coming over to take your drink order and then I heard kind of the conversation I thought I'd give you a couple of minutes. So let's get this over with I Love a watermelon margarita and my friend here friend. Hey Can I just say she's my wife? So don't get... Well, on paper.

Stick your tongue back in your mouth there, mister. Yeah, no, sorry about that. Tongue kind of... No, no, no. I'm his wife on paper and also by law. In the bedroom. Because that's where we've consummated this many a time. And I respect that.

Many a time. Watermelon margarita. I have one of the two drinks. I'm hoping there's a second drink soon. Just a bottle of something. Oh my God. Oh, your God. Your God never existed.

Sorry, this is, this is embarrassing. I know, I'm married to a leprechaun. And he's great. Just get him a bottle of whatever and he'll be drunk and he'll make a scene. I stopped growing when I was 12. It happens. We had a big potato.

That's all the nutrients I got. Darling, darling woman who I love, give me a pencil. I just want to make a list of all the things I despise about you. Oh, okay, perfect. You know, when I married him... Waiter, where are you going? Stay here. Everybody's grabbing my arm and I have to go a list of all the things I despise about you. Oh, okay, perfect. You know, when I married him... Waiter, where are you going? Stay here. Everybody's grabbing my arm and I have to go get the drink.

Okay. When I married him... Is there an acute waitress that maybe I can get to talk to? Yes, I would love to go find that for you. I would love to go find that for you. When I married him, he had a huge pot of gold, but guess what? He gambled it away. And now we have nothing.

We have my income. And now we have nothing. We have my income. She's a stripper. I am. I am. But not the thing you're thinking of. She goes into houses as she strips the paint from the walls. No, I can tell by the smell.

I can tell by the smell that was her job. That's him. That's his terrible leprechaun cologne. Hi, I'm Claire. This isn't my table, but I was told you need a waitress. Is there another one? I have a twin. No, it's all right.

You're good. Listen, my wife and I, you seem like a lovely woman. You wouldn't marry someone just because of money, would you? I'd like to think not, but I guess I'd have to be... I'd have to face the moment, you know. Nobody looks at my husband like that. You walk away from us. You get away from us.

Me? Yes, you. Oh, okay. And don't send your twin over here either. Oh, she died. Oh. Okay. I'll go with her if that's okay.

No, no, no, no. You stay. Come on. All right, while you were talking, I took pictures of everyone around the tables here looking at me, some of them with lust in your eyes I've never seen. I haven't seen lust in your eyes since when was it?

The last World Cup. Seen. Seen. I haven't seen lust in your eyes since the last World Cup. Scene. I haven't seen less in your eyes since the last World Cup would be an amazing bumper sticker, sweater. You can basically end any scene with that. Yeah, tattoo. I mean, that's fantastic.

That's good improv advice. Every scene you can end with that. There's a little improv tip for you kids out there. That could be an Ed Sheeran song. Yeah, of course. Okay, good. Okay, I'm reading the room and saying that we did not like that last riddle because of that it wasn't really a riddle. It was just an Irish joke.

So this one, well, I don't think you're going to feel much differently about it, but this is from Christine. Wow, I love the way you set it up. Christine says, do you know how when geese fly in a V formation, one side of the V is usually longer than the other side of the V? Why is that? Is this an actual fact or this is like a riddle bit or something? It's kind of akin to the previous riddle that we listened to, which is it's not really a fact but it's more there's a simple answer to it that will leave everyone going, I don't I don't know.

No, no, no, no, no. There's one less on one side. Yeah, that's why there are more geese on the side. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, Colin got it. I got the gist of this now. I got it. I had this whole thing that it was sort of like testicles where one is lower

than the other always, but I couldn't think of what the logic was. I would like to see a scene. The three of you are geese flying south for the winter and you're all pretty sure that you should be the one to be in front of the triangle well it's about time to hit the road everybody has everybody used a bathroom or I'm gonna go in the air you guys use bathrooms oh oh Charles yes we all use the bathroom so that we're not you know we're not dirtying the air no I just went by the Paul Revere statue. That's me done. What? You hate Paul Revere.

Why do you always go on him? It's a sign of respect. It's a sign of respect. Well, I know some people think it's good luck. Before we get to deep into it, yeah, why don't we, I think, is it my turn this year to lead us south? I think it's my turn. year to lead us south I think it's my turn turn to go south for geese. This isn't a democracy. No, no, I've always been the leader Okay, I'm pretty sure I've always been the leader first I was in front Yeah, I guess let's let Charles let's let Charles lead the V I guess if we want to end up in fucking Reykjavik Yeah, I guess let's let Charles, let's let Charles lead the V, I guess if we want to end up in fucking Reykjavik.

Ah, good point. Not going south far enough. You've got no sense of direction. Already I'm talking to you, you're back to me. Well, that's on purpose, that was on purpose. Yeah, right. I think that we can all agree, Alan does not get to pick. Alan does not get to fly in the front. What the fuck? Why? Alan, cause you think that South is just down. Every time we go South you try to burrow into the ground. That is not South.

Fastest way. Fastest way. No, that's not South. That's down. I think outside the box. Alan, you're an idiot. You're an idiot. We all know this. Everyone has talked about this since you've joined the flock. You're a flocking idiot. Ha ha ha.

And Alan, I have led this how many years? How many years have I led this? Six, seven, six, seven years. Yes. All right. Okay. Fine. You get us started. Hey, let's all get up in the air. And you get us started. Okay. Okay, great. Go from there. All right. Here we go I mean look at these majestic flaps. I'm doing Like with the minimum of effort and look how I'm speeding mightily towards the south. Are you guys having trouble keeping up?

I'm a little bit of a you. Yeah, really a V. This is more of a you It's kind of guys. I hate to complain back here, but are we going to Paul Revere's childhood home right now? I feel like we're going in that direction. Wait a sec, Charles, you're obsessed with Paul Revere. What is with you? Paul Revere was a very important part of American history. Here we go. True, I'm a Canadian goose, but I've always been fascinated by what Americans have done. And Janine, didn't we go to Meryl Streep's place when you asked? Uh, well yeah, but she's an American treasure and she's still alive. Paul Revere's been

dead for hundreds of years, you nerd. Yeah, who's gotten more? How much longer has she got? Really, I mean, really. Wow. Don't say that! Wow. Can I just say, between her and us, who's gonna live longer? Wow. This conversation went south, I'll tell you that much. Hoping Meryl Streep dies? Unbelievable. I'll just say... I'm not hoping she...

I'll just say, I know that Meryl Streep has a vacation home in Naples, Florida that's pretty far south. I could get us there if anyone wanted me to lead I would love that. I'm not going to Florida. I am NOT going to Florida that is off the table. Yeah, I'm with Charles I'm with Charles. Oh doesn't suit your politics. We don't even vote You guys don't vote geese. Well, I That's on us. Maybe if we Registered we could make a difference of the people we shit on.

Scene. Oh, brother. I'm checking when this comes out, and that message was a little late, but I'm sure it'll come out at the end of the launch. I'm sure. I'm sure all the geese will vote. I'm sure all the geese voted.

I'm sure the geese were found out. It was found out the geese voted, and that's been a whole sticking point. And everybody was pretty chill about that, about some extra geese votes. Everybody was OK with that. Absolutely. Everyone's fine with anything.

Here's another one. This is a riddle from Isaac. OK, now we're deeper into more of a, I would say this is more of a traditional riddle. Here we go Okay, I've always had good luck with Isaac's so I'm feeling a little more confident here. Okay, fantastic Azimov the rest of them You know, I take Asimov. He wrote the sense what the centuries dirty old man. Oh, really? Anyway

There are these sex books in the you know, 70s the Centurist Woman, and he wrote like a parody called The Centurist Old Man. Anyway, there's a useless sack for you. I have to check this out. I know Shel Silverstein wrote a lot for Playboy, like wrote a lot of like dirty limericks and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, I just read for the, I truly read for the articles. There were really good interviews. No one ever believes you, but it's true. I swear to God, there's a show silver scene in here. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, is that what you call titties?

Move along. I'd be upset if that's what I call titties. Where the sidewalk fucks, what is this? Okay, so this is a riddle from Isaac, a dirty, lecherous old man. Hands she has but does not hold. Teeth she has but does not bite. Feet she has but they are cold. Eyes she has but without sight. Who is she? My grandmother.

Is it Colin's grandma? You said wistfully out the window. So she has teeth, she has feet, she has hands but can't hold. Yes. The clock has hands, hands, teeth, feet, and eyes. Is this like Venus freaking DeMilo? Is this like Venus freaking DeMilo?

She doesn't have arms though. Yeah, no arms. Did you say arms? She has arms. I didn't say arms. Let's just assume that she does have arms. She has hands. She has hands.

It'd be weird to have hands without the arms. I don't know. You're the surgeon, alright. You said her feet were cold too? She has feet with their cold. That's my grandmother for sure. Yeah, I don't necessarily... That one is not my favorite of the descriptors because I feel like it kind of puts you in...

What's your favorite? Oh, that's a great question. Eyes without sight. Eyes without sight is probably my favorite. Eyes without sight. Potato. Potato. Potato is definitely there with eyes without sight. It's not potato. Yeah, I wouldn, potato, potato. Potato, potato is definitely there with eyes to that side. It's not potato.

Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily even say that these feet are cold. I guess if you... This is potato. It's not potato. It's not potato. Honestly, Mr. Potato is the perfect answer for this. It's perfect. He has hands, but he can't really hold anything.

You could attach the hands. You could take his legs off, put them in the freezer. They're cold. Yeah. Does Mr. Potato have teeth or does he have lips? Depends on which mouth you put on. Yeah, that's the whole point. That's great, that is the whole point. Hands.

It would work, but the answer's not Mr. Potato, but I guess you're kind of circling the right area with Mr. Potato. Is this something that you can find in nature? No. Okay, that's cool. So it's not organic, it's- It's not organic, it's inorganic.

Inorganic. Is it like a building of some kind? No, it's not a building of some kind. Statue of Liberty? No. I was never sure of the rules of figuring out the riddle. Yes. Like can you say this? Is it this? Is it this? Or can you tell me the answer? You can always say, can you tell me the answer? Anyone's allowed to quit and then we'll just, we'll just do the answer. It's not, nothing here is sacred. Yeah, we quit all the time.

Yeah, we do. Okay, so hand, see the hands, it does seem towards a clock. Oh, yeah is good. It's not a clock, but this is something that is, I would say, manmade. JPC, would you mind reading it one more time? Hands she has, but does not hold. And those all hold her chins. Yeah.

Yes. And the stroke your chin is like three Sherlock's. Hands she has, but does not hold. Teeth she has, but does not bite.. Hands she has, but does not hold. Teeth she has, but does not bite. Feet she has, but they are cold. Eye she has, but without sight. Who is she? I think cold is in there.

And the pronoun is she. Yeah, is she important or is that just a placeholder? I don't think she is necessarily important. I think that this thing is most commonly. Justice. A she. It is not important. I think that this thing is most common justice It is not just I will say it's a she's blind she has eyes, but doesn't see it is a physical And it holds a scale JPC lady justice has the blind she has the ninja turtle thing over her eyes I was outside your feet must be cold

But doesn't justice bite Peace back to the teeth Is Lady Justice a Ninja Turtle? But doesn't Justice bite? Um. Peace. Comes back to the teeth. Uh, this is a physical thing. A man-made thing, it's a physical thing. It's not like a concept. It's not something you find in nature. Someone has to make this.

And I think it's most common. Are eyes like holes? Like what are like the eyes of this? Um, I guess it could be a lot of different things. They could be holes, I guess. They could be. What? Yeah, it depends on, it of different things. They could be holes, I guess. They could be. What? Yeah, it depends on, it's like Mr. Potato Head.

It just depends on what kind of eyes this thing has. Well, I do wanna see, I'm gonna say let's see a scene just to give us a little break from this. A buffer, that's so smart. A little buffer. That's so smart, yeah. Yeah, we're gonna say, JPC, you are a science fiction writer, well regarded. Okay.

And we'll say, Colin, you are an editor for Playboy. You're trying to encourage the science fiction writer to write something a little more salacious. Okay. Read the new article. Yes, it's... Pretty good. Yeah, it's one of my... I don't know if it could become something, if it's just a short story. I want to live in the space, live in the world for a little while. Yeah, yeah. Did you get,

did you get that the, you know, we're from the perspective of the main character and we think he's on an alien world, but really, he's the alien on our world. Yeah, that's what's great. Yeah, that's the that's the I thought there'd be Because he because of that I thought it'd be more fucking oh Because if you you know because if he you know he thinks if he's on an alien planet Yeah, I think that's the first thing people would do you would think I'm going to reach out and have sex with I think first thing people would do, you would think, I'm going to reach out and have sex with the natives so I can...

I think I said... Yeah, I know, I get what you're saying, Larry. I think I set the whole story in a zoo so that it would be... Yeah. I think it would be kind of... Animals can be very sexy. Sure. Like, if it's an alien animal, you're not quite sure until the end.

You find, oh no, it's a penguin. Oh no so you know yeah I guess I could have two penguins having sex if that's what's the point of the story what's your point of the story no I guess yeah it's it's I think really the point is like you know maybe things that we don't know are closer to us than we think and maybe you know there's a different perspective of seeing someone else as an alien you're doodling you're doodling a things that we don't know are closer to us than we think. And maybe there's a different perspective of seeing someone else as an alien. You're doodling a little pornographic drawing right now. Are you listening to?

I was just thinking, when you're close to something, what are you doing when you're close to something? You're usually fucking them. Yeah, no, yeah. Knock, knock, sorry to interrupt your meeting. My name's Jeff, I'm from the Cincinnati Zoo. I just am here to ask you a few questions. Oh, we're in a kind of a meeting right now. The Cincinnati Zoo had an investigative unit. Yeah, we have enough cases that my

job is necessary. Playboy and the Zoo work very closely together in a lot of the fiction that comes across our desk. Yeah. Go ahead. No, I'm actually here to ask you questions. Okay. You've and please stop backing up. I feel like you're grabbing your hat and your coat. But you're going very close towards me and you're using threatening hands. Well, I just am saying that we have teeth. I hope you do not bite. Well, I feel like we both know why I'm here. We have security cameras down at the zoo, unfortunately for you. Oh, okay.

Okay, so you sort of have a bindle packed. It seems like you thought this day was coming and you're backing out of the room slowly. I'm just saying. People don't understand. Are those security cameras, are they standard for all zoos as well or? Oh, I'm going to get to you, sir. Okay, great. Yeah, so I should stick around?

Oh, geez. Oh, okay. Well, you should write about that. Write about what you know. I've told you this. And we cut to the zoo security footage. I've told you before I can't run away with you, I'm a Kodiak bear, I'm stuck here. Hey you know what? You know how dangerous this is for me? I know but it's-

You're a bear! I don't know if you're going to put out the way I want, if you're going to be tender the way I want, if you're going to be tender, or you're just going to savage me. I hope you, it's kinky, huh? You never know it. Can I run my claws up and down your back, sweetie? All right, softly though. I have a writers meeting tomorrow. Yeah, and let's treat that dick like a picnic.

Okay, wait a minute. See, those are the kind of sentences that I don't- See. Oh no. Okay, wait a minute. See those are the kind of sentences that I don't Some of the sound bites from this episode are absolutely out of control Aaron they really are Aaron could Could that dick that dick is a picnic be an Ed Sheeran song or uh? Yes, because I believe in him good. Okay good few few would that then be a dicknick? Yes. Woo! I think so. Yeah.

Dicknick basket. Dicknick. Woo! Well, I don't feel that scene really helped us solve the riddle. No. Oh, the riddle. I forgot we were doing a riddle.

Oh, can you, JPC, can we get a tiny hint? Where would you find this thing? Yeah, where'd you find this thing? Okay, so like, I would say like in the same kind of place you would find a Mr. Potato Head, you would also find this as well. So it's a toy. A toy toy. Or in a store. It is a toy. It is a toy.

A Barbie. Erin. It is a Barbie or doll a doll more generally, but a Barbie works. Yes. Hands but the stuff. Come on. All these riddles are like Occam's Razor was just like- Uh... Hands but does not. Pfft. Hands but does not. Oh, these are so... Come on. All these riddles are like Occam's Razor, where it's just like... Was that from Isaac? There goes my Isaac streak.

That's the name of this episode, is There Goes My Isaac Streak. Let's take a quick break, and we'll be right back with more infuriating Colin Mochrie. That's insane. There's been zero days since my last Isaac incident. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Okay. That'll do it. Aaron, don't yawn, you're going to make me yawn.

Hiya. Ooh. Ooh. I told you you wouldn't like it the way't yawn. That'll do it. Aaron, don't yawn, you're gonna make me yawn. Hi-ya! Ooh. Ooh. I told you you wouldn't like it the way I yawned. I'm exhausted. I think I gotta go home to my Helix mattress. Oh, I gotta go home to my Helix mattress. I love my Helix mattress.

And I am home and I'm on my Helix mattress. It's a midnight luxe, it's the best mattress I've ever had in my entire life and I'm sleeping on it right now, and this is a dream. I would say, you're my puppets. Yes, and. Oh, yeah. Yes, and.

Yes, and. Gemma and I also have a Midnight Lux. It's the most comfortable bed we've ever owned. It's the best sleep I've ever got in my life. Sometimes when our cats are being rambunctious, we'll pick one of them up, say brisket, we'll put them on the Helix Sleep. Immediately, he spins around three times, lays down, goes to bed.

It soothes all creatures. I've had my mattress for about three years. It still is as good as it was the first night I slept on it. And anytime I have a guest come and they stay in my room, they always go, what is this mattress? I'm obsessed. Oh, a guest. Erin, didn't you say that your mattress still sleeps? Like it's brand spanking new.

And didn't you wink when you said spanking? You were here for that? This could have been a different conversation. Could have been a conversation with a completely different guy back then. You're in my dream and you're a puppet and I'm insane and you're insane. Whoa.

Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. And do we all have Helix Midnight Lux? Is that the mattress that we all have? I think so. We are all the same sleeper. Whoa. I love it. Whoa, we just sleep at different times. We just sleep at different times.

But only one of us could be asleep at any given time. Isn't that true? It isn't that true. It isn't that true. Isn't that true and you must remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, it is November, which means there's a November offer. Right now, 25% off site-wide,

you get two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase there's also a free bedding bundle you get two dream pillows sheet set and mattress protector with any Lux or elite mattress order and you can find all that and more by going to helixsleep.com slash riddle again that's helixsleep.com slash riddle you're going to bed. Okay. You're getting comfy. He looks sleep. Sleep like a podcaster. Oh my gosh. Did you see how this was one more yawn?

Oh boy. The cowboy just came running over. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Hey, I am the town square crier and I have big news for the whole square. I have a new video coming out every week. I'm going to be making a new video every week. I'm going to be making a new video every week. I'm going to be making a new video every week.

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and plates with cash on them. Whoa. Yeah, because Rocket Money helped me save around $700 this year by helping me cancel my subscription. Can you believe? Still an insane move to put this out at a party. Cause I'm awesome. This party rocks.

Have fun. I can't eat cash. And you said come hungry. So, well, I mean, hey, look, I do love how Rocket Money lets you see all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. And for any you don't want anymore,

Rocket Money can help you cancel them with just a few taps. That to me is very cool. What's not cool is that most Americans think they spend about $62 per month on subscriptions, but the real number is closer to $300. No. Wild. Yeah. Wild. No. I am subscribed to something called

Yum Yum Yum Online Magazine. That makes sense for you though. Come on though, come on. to something called Yum Yum Yum online magazine. That makes sense for you though. Come on though. Oh wait, I'll keep that one. Sorry, I'll keep that one. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Okay, hold on. Rocket Money has five million users and saved 500 million cancelled subscriptions. So that means it'll save every user $1 million. No, no, bad math. That's why you need rocket money. I need rocket money for my math.

Everything is color coded. JPC is so satisfying to use and helps me stay so organized. I am so grateful to have it. slaps the money out of Adel's mouth as he tries to eat it. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Well, it finally happened.

JPC came down to where I work and slapped the cash out of my mouth. Pfft. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Hit us with that yawn sound. Ha ha ha. Oh, kato! Oh, a wild bird. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, Addle, hey, Erin, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Of course you do. Okay, let's go ahead. You two, sometimes you two do- Oh, Erin, he does not have a bone. I do, I do have Aaron, he does not have a bone. I do! I do have a... You don't have a bone! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing, JPC.

I have a bone to pick with myself. I, um... I just haven't really been my best lately and I... I guess I just don't know what to do. BetterHelp? Have you heard of BetterHelp, JPC? BetterHelp? BetterHelp! It's online therapy designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to my schedule. BetterHelp? I know, and it's sometimes hard to remind ourselves

that we're trying to make our best to make sense of everything in this crazy world, but it's not easy, JPC. Sometimes you wake up and you don't have a bone to pick when you want to, you know? Yeah. All you have to do, JPC, with BetterHelp is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists

at any time for no additional charge. I've been using BetterHelp and guess what, JPC? What? It helps a lot. It could help you. I mean, I do like online therapy. I do like being able to email my therapist when I have a conflict or be able to stay at home while I'm doing online therapy. I do like being able to email my therapist when I have a conflict or be able to stay at home

while I'm doing my therapy. So I don't have to drive all the way to an office and get into a big confrontation with a guy in the parking lot, which is why I don't go to that parking lot anymore. Oh yeah, you've had 10 to 12 bone depicts in the parking lot, right? You can't go back to that parking lot?

Maybe that's why I have to go back, to get my bone depicts back. I don't know, we're doing an ad for something and we keep saying it's gonna help you get your bone depicts back and I don't want you to that parking lot. Maybe that's why I have to go back, to get my bone depicts back. And I know we're doing an ad for something and we keep saying it's gonna help you get your bone depicts back and I don't want you to read it too much. But you get it in the context of JPC. You understand who JPC is as a person

that that is connected to his mojo and his sense of self. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H- p.com slash riddle. My dad just texted me the music video for yellow by Coldplay and said, Have you seen this? How old is your dad?

That sounds like 20 years old. My dad is in his late 70s. Yeah, that sounds like 20 years old. I think my dad just discovered. You know, sometimes it takes a little longer for things to show up on certain playlists. That's so fun! For things to trickle down or trickle up. I love that. Oh, brother.

Okay, we are back. Our Isaac streak is busted, but we are back. We have some riddles. Hopefully these are riddles that will redeem us all. These are from Milti. We did Aaron and Adol. I mean, are they riddles? Some of them are just like, you know, the suspect looked like this. We did. We did. We did a couple of Milti. I think we actually did one of Milttiest riddles on a previous episode, and they are, I would say, pretty good riddles. These are these are. OK. OK.

They're definitely riddles. This is like what colors of flamingo at midnight. And it's like pink. It's like, yeah, it's pink. It's still it's still pink. It's still pink. It's a flamingo. It's been. I'm ready. OK, here we go. I'm ready It's been there. I'm ready. Okay, here we go. I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm hard to see through when you're in my midst. There's quite a bit you might have missed. I set in quickly. I'm never loud. I hide all things within my shroud. Ah, here we go. Oh, here we go. Iceberg. Iceberg.

Darkness. Next. Colin said Iceberg and then threw his napkin down on the table and did the little two fingers for the check. Next. Darkness, silence. Iceberg is good. It's not silence and it's not darkness and it's not Iceberg.

Those are all good guesses though. So that hide all things with my veil? It's, I'm hard to see when you're in my midst. There's quite a bit you might have missed. I set in quickly, I'm never loud. I hide all things within my shroud. Shroud, fog. Yes, Colin, you got it, it is fog.

Also would have accepted mist or a cloud. Amazing. But fog is perfectly acceptable. Good job, though. Are there prizes that go with this? No. Yes, we send you a Christmas ham if you answer 10 riddles correctly. A Christmas ham. Perfect. Nothing better going from the mail than a Christmas ham. Yeah, we sent it in a manila envelope. It's pretty disgusting by the time it's here.

Nice. We get as much ham as we can fit into one of those flat rate boxes because we're only paying the $3.99, but it'll be full of ham. Okay, great job, Colin. You have one point. Adil and Aaron, still nothing. Nope, I feel good. Also, Aaron's father just sent me a cold play song. That's weird. Viva La Vida! Wow, I'll check it out.

My skull is thick. I'm not tall, but when I fall you'll bust your gut. If we butt heads, I'll have you beat. I have no brain, but I have meat. I like this one as well. My skull is thick, but I'm not tall. When I fall you'll bust your gut. How do those two things go together? My skull is thick, but I'm not tall. I'm sorry. I don't associate thick skulls with tall people.

Oh you absolutely should. My skull is thick, I'm not tall, but when I fall you'll bust your gut. If we butt heads, I'll have you beat. I have no brain but I have meat. Everyone's looking at a different direction. A donkey clown. Is it a donkey clown? It's a donkey clown. That would be so great. Yes, it's a donkey clown. Yeah, it's a donkey clown. Damn,

I really didn't think you guys were going to get to donkey clown on that one. Kids gather around. I hired a donkey clown for the birthday. Yeah, I would like to see a scene. Colin, you are a clown, a Donkey Clown specifically, that's been hired for a children's birthday party. And Adel, you're the birthday boy. You're just trying to figure out like, why this is happening. Excuse me, sir.

Oh, thank you for the lick. Are you a piñata or? No, I'm a donkey clown. The only one in existence. Squirt. Sorry, usually most clowns do it with their noses. But you saw, I do things a little differently because I'm a donkey clown.

Oh, boy, I guess this is what eight-year-olds have. How old are you, little boy? Just turning eight today, sir. Let me give you a kick oh I'd rather just like a balloon animal or like a pie in the face or well I don't know if you notice again. I'll mention it. I'm a donkey clown I can't manipulate balloons to make animals of course But if you stick this one in my ass watch this

in my ass watch this mommy honey be nice to the clown he's my friend Jeff from work he's just going through a divorce he needs this you work with a donkey Olympia just want to thank you for the work I really want to expand I can't work in HR anymore and I get that you know that. And I get that. Happy to have you here. So nice to be, you know, I've always felt... Don't do this here. I'm just saying, I know it's in front of your child, I know, but... My husband is right over there, Jeff. I could kick him in the head, just take his head right off. You'd never know.

Lippy, is there something going on over here? Did you need me? No, honey, just keep going and putting the candles on the cake. Oh, Jeff, didn't see you there. Nice to see you. Still doing the old clowning thing, huh? Yes, I'm just waiting for your son

to remove the balloon from my ass, and then I'll move on to my next trick. Wait, which one's my dad? Which one's my dad? Which one do I shoot? Mom, which one do I shoot? Neither! You smile, it's your birthday.

Be nice. Oh, son, I can explain this. This is a donkey clown. I am a clown donkey. We're completely different things. Oh, you're fooling yourself, Jeff. We've always been the same. Oh yeah? If we're the same, then that means that you're not the only donkey clown in the world. Mom, they're circling each other.

Don't get in the way. Son, put a balloon in my ass. It's been a long time coming. Put a balloon in my ass. It's a clown-off.. Put a balloon in my ass, it's a clown-off. Whoever stays alive will be my husband. Mom, David Attenborough's here. Oh. Mom?

Let him talk. Sorry. I have a cold. It's David Attenborough, but I have a cold. Seed. Seed. Seed. Are we in the middle of a riddle still?

It's the very middle of a riddle. And I will say, I don't think you guys are even close because no one's guessed yet. I forget what the riddle is. Skull thick. I'm still on fog, still living that. And you've earned that, Colin, you've earned that. Yeah. Yeah. Bright and high on fog.

I have a skull, but I'm not tall. I'm not tall, but when I fall, you'll bust your gut. If we butt heads, I'll have you beat. I have no brain, but I have a skull but I'm not tall. I'm not tall. But when I call you, you'll bust your gut. If we butt heads, I'll have you beat. I have no brain but I have meat. So bust your gut makes me think, is that like crack up, like bust a gut, like you're laughing? Cantaloupe.

Erin? Erin. Watermelon. Cantaloupe or watermelon or honeydew, it's some kind of melon. Can I just say, I love the commitment you shouted that out. Aaron, you are so close. It is not, it is not cantaloupe or honeydew

or watermelon or any of that. Coconut. It is coconut. Colin got it. Shit. He sniped you. I could not have done it without Aaron's crazy guess. Colin is crushing us. I think the operative thing there is I have no brain,

but I have meat because coconuts have that sweet sweet. Coconut meat. Yeah, the old coconut meat. They got milk, they got meat. Yeah, they're the perfect food. Yeah. Dang it. Yeah, so close, but still Colin is on the board

and you two are not. Here we go. Your next one. I'm never gonna win the Christmas ham. Erin. I hate it. I want you to be a little more confident. I'll try, Colin. Maybe if there was a Coldplay song

you could listen to that inspired you. Yo ski, oh yeah, yo ski, dimbo. I can't wait to rewatch this music video. I miss seeing it for the first time. The whole thing is that it's in reverse, maybe? Is that that? Is it? I think so, I think that's the yellow video. Yeah, yes seeing it for the first time. The whole thing is that it's in reverse, maybe? Is that that? I think so, I think that's the yellow video. Yeah, yes, is that the one on the beach?

Yeah, yeah. I think he's walking on the beach backwards the whole time. Cool, excited to watch. The trick to that video, Aaron, is it looks like they just shot it and then reversed it, but no, he honestly did that whole thing backwards. Ah! Yeah, I know.

And that's how he got Gwyneth Paltrow. She was so impressed. So this podcast is not only fun, but you. Huh. Yeah. And that's how I know. He got Gwyneth Paltrow, she was so impressed. So this podcast, it's not only fun, but you learn things. Yeah. Usually no, usually no, I'd say. I'd say usually it's only fun. Usually it's some of the most fun you could ever have in an afternoon,

but today we're learning. Here's your next riddle. All right, now, Aaron and Adel, I think that you guys are going to get this one because I think that we've done this or something similar before. So maybe hold your piece if you know it right away. Oh, that makes it, that makes it a little easier for some people. For them, specifically, it makes it very easy for the two of them. I'm just saying. I have a mouth, but cannot speak.

Yeah. I never groan. But-hmm, but sometimes Creek When you leave I'll make you shiver. I'm not a serpent but I slither a river, yes Wow, Adela, dear you both knew that Damn I actually did not remember I Did not know it told us not to say the answer. What the fuck?

I don't know. That doesn't sound like me. I'm usually pretty nice. Yes, it is a river. Congratulations. I do want to see a quick scene. Aaron, you are a snake who thinks that you are a river, and the three of us are other snakes who are trying to get you to come back to kind of reality. Hey guys, Deborah's having a moment, so just like, let's indulge her,

like let's try and be kind. Is that the right way to go though? Will this help her in any way? Oh, she's coming, she's coming, she's coming. Ooh, scary snakes. Hey Deborah's coming. Ooh, scary snakes! Hey Deborah! I hate snakes, scary, hi! Hey, what are you up to this morning?

How's it going girl? Nice to see you on the path. Yeah, some mushrooms. I'm thinking about letting people canoe down me later. What are you guys up to? Classic Deborah. What? What? What are you talking about?

Steve just canoe down there. Yeah I'm a river you guys are snakes we're sort of all in nature we're all sort of why are you guys looking at me like that? Well what makes you think you're a river? Oh look at me. Steve! I'm looking at, it's like I'm looking at myself. I see the river there at all. You know what, Deborah, I would love to canoe down you later if that's on offer. Don't encourage this. Why? She's fragile.

How is this going to help her? Look how I'm shaped. Look how I'm shaped. Look how we're all shaped, Deborah. Oh, for God's sake. Maybe if you were a mushrooms like me, you would understand and see the world clearly. I woke up today and I was like,

I actually know exactly who I am and I'm a river. What's your problem? Yeah, Deborah, I just- And you're saying look behind you, you just shed your skin. Do rivers have skin? Is that mine? Oh my God, am I a snake?

Oh my God. No, look, a frog just jumped inside you. You must be a river. Oh my god. No, yeah, you're full, you're, look at all the pond scum on you. Do snakes have pond scum? First of all, I've had many a suicidal frog leap into me. Doesn't make me a river.

You know what, no, Deborah, you know what? I think Steve's a river too. In fact, none of us are snakes and we're all rivers. Steve, she needs this. Am I on a bad drug trip? You guys would tell me, right? No. Yeah, of course we would tell you. I'm trying to tell you, but these guys want you to believe you're a river. I'm the one you can believe. For God's sake, Deborah, you know me.

You're shaking her by the sh- well, not shoulders. You're shaking her by the- we don't have shoulders. Riverbend? The riverbends! Thank you, Deborah! Yeah! Yeah, I'm a river. Hey, sweetie, tabby, look into my eyes. Okay. Look into my eyes.

Yeah. Who- who are you? I'm a snake. That's right. Do you want to be a river? Yeah. Why? Because snakes are spooky. I'm scared of snakes.

Some people are afraid of water. Rivers are scary to some people. Okay. I find you very attractive. You're a very attractive snake. No, no, no one thinks that, right guys? Everybody thinks that. Everyone talks about how beautiful you are not really my type okay well you know you can still say oh god I'm not dating a river I mean come on I

can't date a river you guys were supposed to break up with her on the fact she was a river you guys were supposed to help me break up with her cuz I can't date a river what good are you guys I've been gaslighting her to was a river. You guys were supposed to help me break up with her because I can't date a river. What good are you guys? I've been gaslighting her to be a river all week. Frog jumps in your mouth. Oh come on! These frogs, something's wrong with these frogs. Can we all talk about the frogs? Hey look at that bear over there, it's pretty hot. Are we in the middle of another riddle? I keep forgetting. No, you are... No, because Colin came on and then solving them on. Yeah, sorry.

We do have a couple of riddles left though. So, if in the sea you want to sink to the darkest depths as black as ink, say hi and wave, unless I've hid, we'll both be happy that you did. Squid. Yes, this is Squid, Adel. More specifically, someone asked a long time ago, you asked if someone could make a riddle that the answer is a portmanteau of the word riddle. And so the answer to this is technically squiddle, because this is a squid. Oh. I'd like to see a scene.

Paul and Adel, you are like deep sea scientists, and you're in a submarine. And JPC, you can choose whatever you are, but you're an unusual creature that they run into down there. OK, Doctor, we're at 14,000 knots. Okay, I don't think that's a depth of any kind, but that's a speed and you're wrong. Okay.

Didn't you read the manual? For God's sake, we got this grant for deep sea scientists and I feel you're letting us down. I was on my honeymoon right when we got notification that we got the grant and I just, I feel so bad, but I feel like I got it. I feel like I got it. Okay, just don't say nautical stuff.

Just let's concentrate on your strength, which is the biological animals that we're about to see. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Go ahead, won't they? Oh, seahorse. Yes, I see horse. Don't treat me like a child, doctor. No, no, I'm just talking-

Look, this is- this is the most unusual type of seahorse I've ever seen. It's like an actual horse. This is so odd, a horse with gills. Doctor, I'm going to go ahead and attempt to grab him with the mechanical arms attached to the submersive All right sort of a I don't know why the submersive did this but it sort of set up like a claw machine so do you have like a quarter or Hold on. Let me just yeah, here's a quarter. Okay. All right, all right I know to the left. No, okay up to the left. Am I above him? Am I above him? And hit the button maybe a little. Oh, it's got him by the leg.

It's got him by the leg. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Okay, you're turning on the horse. It's... Okay, you go. Okay, you go. Whoa, come on, somebody go. Somebody go.

Oh, wait a minute. It seems to be talking. It's underwater. I can hear him talk underwater. The microphones are on, sir, the ocean mics are on. No, did you just see the seahorse? He just went, I mean, and that is the definitive when you're trying to hide something from someone, you say, I mean.

So we are turning him on. We're turning him on? You're missing, you're missing the important part is there's a talking seahorse that we've just grabbed. No, I'm not talking seahorse. Talking? No. No, the horse, doctor, the horse just said, uh-uh. See? Who would you believe, a scientist such as me or a seahorse who's telling you he's not talking? Well, how did you get to be a scientist?

I won a raffle at the Ohio State Fair. Really? Yeah, I bought an arm's length of tickets for $15. They pulled my number and I was declared Ohio's finest scientist. Ohio's finest underwater scientist There's so many things to unpack their horse. Can you hear me? Grab the mic is gonna do a type five That horse is a pervert no Okay, we have time for one more let Let's do one more of these riddles.

Okay, all right. I like this one. If you take me to a picnic lunch, you'll have to take me out a bunch. Leave me alone and I'll be fine, but take me to dinner. This is the bear from the scene. Oh, sorry. This is the bear from the previous scene. But take me to dinner. This is the dick-nick.

This is our dick-nick. But take me to dinner and I'll wh dick-nick. This is our dick-nick. But take me to dinner and I'll wine. Sorry, and I'll wine? Wine, yeah. Is that what you said? I said wine, yes. This is a grape! Is it grape?

It is a grape, yes. Holy shit! You'll have to take me out a bunch. Wow, Colin, four points? Take me to dinner and I will wine. Bunch of grapes. Colin, four points. Wine and grape.

You did excellent. Well, I guess we have bunch of heads. Four points. Colin, you did excellent. Well, I guess we have to end. I think I'm giving up this improv thing and just going into Riddle. I don't know what a Riddle job would be. Exactly. Riddle master. I think we're doing pretty good.

You should keep your job because, yeah. The public will never forgive us if you quit improv No, I'm telling you riddles. I just found my calling Before the break furious at riddles and Isaac's after the break for riddles solved Colin turn what a turn I think it was my anger at Isaac that just made me... wasn't there a God thing with Isaac? God committed that Isaac killed his son or his son was named Abraham's son? Or Abraham killed Isaac. Isaac, yes. And Isaac told, yeah, Isaac told a lame riddle and Abraham went, oh, forget it. And Abraham said, you know what, God, maybe not.

Maybe not my worst, the worst idea you ever had. Kill it, Isaac, on the altar. So, Colin, do you think that you're gonna be incorporating riddles into your life more? Do you think you're gonna try more escape rooms, less sex? What's the plan moving forward? Well, I think you could probably, if you actually listen to your question,

you can figure it out. Yeah, I'm hearing it back and I actually listen to your question you can figure it out Once this shows over I'm done You know, I was just being kind because this is your your job and your your life But yeah, I'll never have another riddle anywhere near me. I just got a restraining order in an email. Okay. That's new. That was fast.

Never seen that before. Oh yeah. I, I just sent it with a Ricky Martin video too. Um, Colin, it is late November. I will say, uh, is there, that's around the time that this is. Is there anything that you have upcoming that you want to point folks towards or anything that you'd like to plug?

My birthday. Are you a Scorpio? No, I'm a Sagittarius. Oh, even better. November 30th. Do you know that the Pope's a Sagittarius? You know, we were having coffee the other day and I said, he loves hoedowns.

It makes sense. We all love hoedowns. I don't, what am I doing? I'm doing a, I do a show with a hypnotist where he hypnotizes audience members and I improvise with him. Oh wow. So we're in the middle of a tour, uh, right now.

So I think I'll be in Canada at that point during that, but, uh, check hip prov.com, see if we're coming to a town near you. Wow. That's very cool. Um, what's been your favorite, um, what has a person been hypnotized to do or to believe they are, uh, that's been your favorite so far. They, um, like we hypnotize, they, we just hypnotize them to improvise. They become part of our improv troupe. So, but they make the, they truly are just living in the

moment. There's no, oh, we'll work towards this ending. This is all they have. There was one I was looking for, I'm a superhero looking for a sidekick. So the hypnotized woman said, I said, what's your power? She said, delayed gratification. So there's a moment also where you think, okay, these people are in a vulnerable state. Yes. I don't want to take advantage. So I just said, so say there was a bank robbery happening, what would you do? And she said, I run up to the bank, but I don't go in right away. And I found it brilliant. That's fantastic. That's very, yeah. Oh, it's a miracle. So, HipProv, I assume, HYP? HYPROV.com.

Oh man, that sounds outstanding. It's a lot of fun. It's amazing how to see people improvise when they get out of their way. Yeah. It's that part of the brain that deals with self-criticism is gone, so they just react to everything, the hypnotist and I say.

But if you're listening to this podcast, continue paying thousands of dollars for classes. Don't, don't. Oh yeah, yeah. Hypnotism seems fine, but the thousands of dollars of classes, that's where it's at. What I love about both, we have hypnotists, people don't believe in hypnotism, we have improv, they don't really believe in that either. So we put these two art forms people don't believe in and put them in one place to save a little time for them All the same having to write one Yelp review. Yeah

Erin do you have anything to plug her from up? I got nothing. I would say in Celebration for this happening. I was watching some Who's Line best ofs on YouTube and I was laughing my ass off. It holds up in a major way. So check those out. Okay. It was your favorite. I'm a big Ryan fan.

No, not for too long. No, not for too long. Erin said Ryan. Erin said Ryan. You and Ryan together is my favorite. Your chemistry. Sorry. Sure.

Okay. Said the liar who loves Wayne Brady. Wow, son of a bitch. Okay. Said the liar who loves Wayne Brady. Wow, son of a, okay. Said the liar. All I'm saying is, next time you watch the show, watch carefully. Brady's wearing an earpiece

because I'm telling him what to say. Oh yeah. Don't know. Conspiracy theory confirmed. You're the first. Adel, anything to plug? A few things. First and foremost,

God, I wish my man Colin Mockery a happy early birthday. I'm actually- And the Pope. I'm a little surprised Aaron did not, but yeah. That did hurt, I gotta say. And then I gotta say, been a huge fan of whose line it is anyway, Colin's my favorite, unless I'm watching the British version, and then the guy who played Friar Tuck

in the Kevin Costner Robin Hood. Mike McShane. That guy is my favorite. The British version. I mean, everybody's fine. Oh yeah. They all have their fan clubs. They're all lovely.

Eh. Most, yeah, they're mostly, okay. But yeah, they're all fun to work with. Oh, and the last thing I was gonna say was thing I was going to say was if there's still time, it's not the end of November yet. If you haven't watched over the garden wall, uh, it's one of my favorite fall things to do is to watch that. So I would say check that out.

I believe it's on Hulu perhaps. Uh, JPC, anything to plug or promote or a review to read? I would like to just, uh, wish my child also a happy birthday. Uh, my child's birthday is on the 29th of November, so it's so close. And I will say that we were, when my child was, who's a year old, when they were being born, I was looking at like celebrity birthdays for the days around when they could be born, and I saw that Colin's birthday was on the 30th and I thought, oh, that'd be cool. That's a fun, I'm an improviser, you know,

that's a cool like legacy, but 29th. Hang on, hang on kid. If I'm being honest, the 28th and the 30th had way better options, but 29th we'll take. We'll just, we'll take that. There must be someone on the 29th. No, it's really bad. It's a bunch of TikTokers.

Linda Hamilton. It's a lot of TikTokers. Bill Cosby Erin One one last riddle. Yeah, bring us home. You haven't won any points today. I'm in the sky way up high What name? Does have I?

Jupiter Jupiter. I was going to let you keep going. Bye forever. Now our appearance in the music. Logo created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Napores. One, two, three, four, Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey there, King ofs and Six Flags. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's Scenes from a Hotel Hot Tub. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for eight dollars a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.