Hey Riddle Riddle - #332: Sleep. Trip. Scream.

Episode Date: November 27, 2024

We hope everyone is traveling safe for the holidays! We are so happy to keep you company on your journey! We packed some chickens, a fighting dog, and a very cool teacher! Let’s hit the road!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary for a limited time only. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Hey!

Boiled the Denver Goldfish. It was the eight. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse ate Friday. One, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten, twelve, one, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten, twelve, one, two, three, four, eight, nine, ten, twelve, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, little, one, two, three, four, eight, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little Okay, Simon says put your hand on your nose. Wait, there's something about this game that I forget. There's like a rule for this game where it's like you don't do it because like Simon's like, I don't wanna say pedophile, but he's like something bad so it's like you shouldn't wanna do.

You're being awfully chatty in this game of Simon Says. Simon Says, put your hand on your head. It's like a secret rule for Simon Says. Put your hand on your butt. Ah, no one fell for it. That one is okay to do because... No, it's not okay. There's a rule to this game that if you git, you break the whole game apart. Simon Says Record a Riddle podcast.

Okay, it's alliteration. If it's Simon Says, you do it because it's... No, that's not... GPC, are you on the phone while we're playing Simon Says? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm ordering a personality. And where does one order something like that? Teemu?

I'm getting mine on Teemu. I don't want to pay big box store prices for my personality. If you are wondering who to look up to as an improviser, as a yes ander, just so you know, Adol, and he didn't have to, was actually doing all the things that Simon said, even though there would have been,

there'd be no proof of it in the episode. And JPC was, what was JPC doing? Have you guys ever ordered anything off of Teamoo? No, because I've heard they steal your information. Well, everybody's stealing your information. Why wouldn't they? They have your credit card information if you type it in. The number of letters that I've gotten in my life being like, hey, you know this place that you trusted to keep your information private?

Oh boy. We had a little bit of a hiccup, and now your Social Security number, the one that you can only have one of... Beamed onto the moon, everyone can see it. Yeah. I feel like Ticketmaster just had like a 500 million person data breach or something. What, not my sweet ethical Ticketmaster. No, not them, they're the last to fall.

Yeah, Aaron, so now a $50 ticket is going to have an additional $93 data breach fee. So yeah. The one that happens to me, and it's happened to me, I think twice, is like, hey, remember that doctor's office you went to six years ago? Oh, yeah. They took them to the cleaners. They got it all.

They got all your info. They got all your medical records. That stuff's gone. And you're like, it's a fucking doctor's office. Shouldn't you? Come on. OK, speaking of doctor's office. Shouldn't you? Come on. OK, speaking of doctor's office that you don't trust with any of your data, you two know.

I recently just had a knee surgery, a small thing. I wasn't getting my knee replaced or whatever. But the first week, I'll be two weeks. I'm almost two weeks now. But the first week was kind of miserable. You're just like, can't move your knee and you're like laying around and it kind of sucks. But when, I don't know how many surgeries you guys have had, but when they, this was my first, my first like they put me- Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. Whoa, I didn't know it was your first. And you got flamingo knees? They said that they put something special inside for my first. They said that they'll find it on my fifth surgery. Time capsule. Yeah, like a time capsule.

To show people how you're being lived. Just like a poem of fifth grader road. Box of life cereal, today's newspaper. It was an elective surgery, I was getting a poem put into my knee. But you go to the hospital. You do the whole thing. If you're getting anesthesia, they like,

you're not supposed to eat until the night before, and you're not supposed to drink anything, you know, after like whatever time you're supposed to go to the hospital, like four hours before your surgery or whatever. Anesthesia, the lost Russian princess. Right, Aaron? Aaron, is that right? Your antiponies is angry. But it's wild because.

I can't remember anything from that movie, I bet. The, when you go, like, you know, I met with like the doctors and everything before the surgery, but then they put you out and then you like wake up in a room with, you know, the nurses and then for me, like, I could put full weight on it. And I was fine.

So they called my wife and I went home. But you don't get to talk to the doctor after that. You make an appointment for two weeks later for when they take the stitches out in my knee. So I haven't had that appointment yet. But they give you a packet that is like, here's some information. But it's like, if you have questions, I don't know. Good luck. Good luck if you have questions. if you have questions, like, I don't know, good luck.

Like, good luck if you have questions. Like, if you have questions, maybe you should have thought of that before you did the surgery, huh? But one of the things that they have on the packet, and it's, like I said, it's my first, like, surgery, is they're like, if you have, like, if you have these things happen to you,

call the hospital or call the doctor's office. And one of the things was, like, numbness. If you have like tingling or numbness that won't go away with a position change, like that might be a cause for concern, call the doctor. And so I was getting like tingling and numbness, but it was all in my right hand, which is where the IV was, but not my like left knee. And I was like, I don't go to the fucking emergency room. Like it doesn't feel like it's whatever, but I couldn't, I couldn me. I was like, I don't go to the fucking emergency room. Like, it doesn't feel like it's whatever but I couldn't I couldn't. I was like this is I don't know what to do. So like I called the doctor's office and they're like, well, the doctors like in surgery today

but you can leave a message for his secretary and the secretary will, you know, get the message to the doctor and blah, blah, blah. So I spent like a whole day like being like, fuck, do I just go to the emergency room? Because like, I'm obviously waiting for this call. And then finally, it was like 3 o'clock. And again, my hand was a little numb, like fingers tingling. And the doctor called me. And they're like, OK, what's going on? And I was like, tingling, like it says on the sheet,

like numbness, it won't go away. And he's like, is it in the leg? And I was like, no, not in the leg. It's in my right hand. And he's like, where in the right hand? And I was like, in my fingers, like fingertips and stuff. And he goes, it sounds kind of like carpal tunnel. Like it might just be some carpal tunnel.

And I was like, oh, okay. And he was like, do you, have you been like, do you do a lot of stuff like on the computer? And I was like, not really, not in the last week. Like I've just been laying in bed. And then in my head, I was like, you've been laying in bed for one calendar week playing Steam Deck, just playing Steam Deck. And I was like, oh, I was like,

I was like, yeah, okay, cool, sounds normal, like thank you, okay, goodbye. And in my head I'm like, I wonder if you can get Carpal Tunnel from playing 81 hours of Rotato. Yeah, I think you could. I was like, maybe you can get that from that. JPC. You called your doctor and you're like,

hey, I'm addicted to games. But also it's fun because I have played my Steam Deck more than I've played my Steam Deck since I bought it. And so I'm really getting my money's worth of my carpal tunnel. Oh yeah? Well, the other sort of reality is that during your knee operation,

they could have put carpal tunnel in your hand so that you could come back and they would make more money off you. That's how they get you. Oh, classic. That's like going to Midas or like a Minikey or something. What's the, Midas is that one? The Midas Touch?

Just the Midas Touch. Yeah, Minikey, Midas, yeah I think so. What is that? What is Midas? I think it's a car change. Is it a car change, yeah. Car change place? Yeah, car change. What is that? Yeah, I think so. What is Midas? Is it a car? Car change? Car change place? Yeah, car change.

I know that theme and I know that company. I have no idea what they do. It's an oil change place and if they touch your car, it turns to gold, I think? The, yeah, that's it. The other thing about the surgery is I thought it would be, when I got my wisdom teeth taken out, I got put under for the wisdom teeth,

and they give you the gas and they tell you to count backwards from 10 and then you get to like seven and you're done, like you're just asleep. These motherfuckers never gave me the count backwards. They were like, hey, here's some oxygen, breathe into this oxygen. And then I was asleep. I was like, at least, at least do the count backwards. Like everybody wants the count backwards. Yeah, I'm sorry that happened. I gave them, I slipped them $20 to do that. So I'm happy to hear that they sort of made good. I'm paying a fucking premium for this experience

and I don't even get the count backwards. But you know what? I think that the lesson learned there is if you want something, ask for it. Because I'm sure if I had been in there and be like, hey, can you guys do the thing where you told me to count backwards from 10 I'm sure they would have jumped on that and been like yeah no one ever asked us to play fucking free bird everybody thinks that

yelling free bird makes you an asshole but like no one actually asked for it it's fun to play yeah it's like when kids go to a truck like to a set line do the honk honk thing yeah Yeah. That trucker's sitting there wishing somebody gives him the honk honk arm. Please, please, please, please, please, please, I love my corn, please. I remember when I got my tonsils out in the first grade and they put me under and they did that countdown thing and then my vision started to like move

and it felt like I was on the conveyor belt like leaving consciousness. And I remember thinking as a first grader, I bet this is what dying feels like. Oh, wow. And it's such a strong visceral memory for me. Anyways, anyone else an anxious kid? I was in the hospital once with my wife

and she was going in for a surgery and she was asking her doctor, she was like, I know that you like doctors play like music during surgery. She was like, what music do you like to play during surgery? And I was like, that is an awesome question because of the, for the three minutes that you get to know your doctor before they just start cutting into you, I think it's, that's a good question to like gauge like,

if this doctor is like cool. I know, but at that point it's too late. So what if your doctor's like black eyed peas and then you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think you could say cancel surgery. I think you could say cancel surgery. But her doctor was like, she was like, I always play Beyonce.

She was like, I love playing Beyonce. And then Mariah was like, okay, I have a good hand. And I asked my doctor, I was like, do you listen to, will you listen to like music during, in the surgery? And the doctor was like, you're gonna be in there for 30 minutes. I was like, he's And the doctor was like, you're gonna be in there for 30 minutes. I was like, you're right.

You couldn't even listen to a full Weezer album. Here's what I wanna know. That's a great question because now I wanna know, do we think that doctors add in their own lyrics where it's like, let's get a scalpel, let's get a scalpel in here. That one would be maybe tricky

because the nurse is like, and the pulse go run in, run in, and run in, run in, and run in, run in. Crash cart, nurse, crash cart. I hope so. Yeah, I hope so, I hope so. Frankly, I hope so. I am old man puzzles. I am, I am so. I hope so. Frankly, I hope so. I am Old Man Puzzles.

I am. I am. She owns it. Erin, step into your riddle-ness. Thank you. Thank you for the permission. Thank you for hyping me up. Really quick before we get into riddles,

I did go LARPing this weekend, and it was insane. It was the most overwhelming and incredible experience. I actually do think the three of us should all go at one point because I think it would be the most fun ever to talk about. Is this your first time LARPing, Erin? First time ever LARPing.

The stuff at night was really scary to me. But the daytime stuff, I had a blast doing. The stuff at night. Well, I got there and I was immediately very overwhelmed because people were fighting with swords and there was vampires out and I was like, this is terrifying. But I really liked sort of like

warding off vampires with candles and making little soup and going to meetings where people were talking about the politics of what castle we should guard. That part of it I loved. The fighting stuff was a little spooky to me, but it seemed like everyone else was having a really good time.

Did you live, did you get turned? Did you? My character lived, but you have to do an NPC shift, and I got killed so much during my NPC shift. I played a townsperson that was mind controlled by a vampire, and I got murdered, I wanna say eight times, and then I was another townsperson, didn't get murdered, and then I was an orphan

that people were trying to assassinate, and I had scary black makeup dripping down my face. It was actually pretty incredible. But. I love that it's called like a shift, where it's like, clocking in as a villager mind controlled by a vampire. How you doing, Greg?

Yeah. How's the wife and kids? Not bad, mind controlled by a vampire. How are the wife and kids? Not great, also mind controlled by a vampire. It was so funny, like during the day on Saturday, I went to like a bard singing competition and I was like, this is so nice.

This I love, I'm just sitting here in my little like Renaissance outfit, listening to people sing songs. And then a guy went up on stage and killed himself because the vampire made him. And I was like, can we not know peace? Can we not even enjoy music? I was so upset.

But it was so fun. And Zach Reno, friend of the show, friend of the pod, was there being a bard and was so charming and funny and welcoming and that was awesome. But not his first radio or? Oh, no. He's been going for years. OK. And was.

Yeah, it was just so fun. It was so cool and so fun. And I think we should all go together. I really do think it would be an important part of this show's history if we experienced something like that together. OK, I'm old man puzzles. Everybody, everybody stop screaming.

Erin, yes, we do what we did for the escape room. We put on laugh mics, laugh, laugh, laugh, and we record ourselves laughing. I love that idea. There was a moment on Friday where they were like, I was doing my like training and I was doing military training and in front of like 40 people,

this guy tossed me a sword and I missed it in such a major way. And then I was like, well, that would have been really cool. And the people around me laughed when I mumbled that. But there were so many moments of true humiliation that I experienced that I immediately thought of you guys. I was like, they would have loved this. They would have loved this.

Aaron, say you go to the grocery store. Normal thing to do, people have to do it every week. How many moments of true humiliation do you experience doing something like that? Because I wanna know, was this above average for true humiliation moments? Yeah. Okay, got it. Yeah, definitely.

But you know what? I said to a couple people when we were outside the context of the LARPing, where I was like, I'm kind of Ypres-loving this year. I'm trying to make myself feel uncomfortable and put myself in situations. And this is like, it's so funny because I know I'm an improviser

and I know I play D&D and all these things, but LARPing is so deeply outside of my comfort zone. And I'm such an introvert and I get so self-conscious that I'm like, I don't know. So I was expecting to be so humiliated that I felt a little like a calloused to it. Like I sort of surrendered to it. Sure.

Erin, I was gonna say your Eat, Pray, Love would be more like Sleep, Trip, Scream. Fall, fall, fall. Yeah. Sleep, Trip, Scream. Okay, hold on. I'm writing that down. or like sleep trip scream. Yeah. Ah! Sleep trip scream! Okay, hold on. I'm writing that down. I got a question for the two of you.

Yes. Have you guys ever been on Tmoo's website? What? You have been fully checked out for the last seven minutes. Are you on Tmoo's website? Are we sponsored by Tmoo? Everything on Tmoo's website is almost sold out. I'm like, look, I understand the marketing gimmick,

but when you do it for everything, that can't be right. I don't see a single thing on Tmoo's website that's cost over $20 either. God, we gotta be going on Tmoo. Oh, what is this? Erin, can I get you this? Can I get you a sweatshirt that says my blood type is Dr. Pepper?

Would that work for you? I would actually really, that would actually mean a lot to me. What about a sminket that says, yes, I'm still freezing, and the quote is attributed to me 24 seven. JPC, I'm actually telling you, if you don't send me the link to that,

I will be really, really sad. I'm about to send these two moon links to everybody I know. I'm about to send, Addle, how would you like three multicolored silent basketballs? Yes. Silent basketballs? What does that mean?

I know that Addle, I know my man Addle, wants a five-piece camo 3D ghillie suit for only $25.49. Now that would be cool. Is that the one where it looks like you're in a swamp, like you're part of the marsh? It just looks like you're, yeah, it looks like you're a swamp thing. You're just covered in moss.

Like your cousin, it, but with moss. Yes, please. I could wear that to the LARPing. Also, Erin, during LARPing, am I able to like, mow these motherfuckers down with my car or something? Like... Um, that would be murder. If I, well, if I put like,

if I paint my car with like, horses, like if I paint it like it's a horse, is that okay? Oh yeah. Yeah, you can kill all those people. I'm sure you could like, put together a cardboard car, like Flintstone style, and then like run that into people and be like, it's a LARP, you can kill all those people. I'm sure you could put together a cardboard car, like Flintstone style, and then run that into people and be like, it's a LARP, you gotta hit my car. It's a LARPing.

You gotta die. It was so funny that a few times I got there and I was like, I feel like I've come here to cosplay being scared to walk alone at night. And I was like, I feel like I gotta sorta get enough of this in the real world. There was a moment where literally I had to walk down Murder Alley,

because yeah, there's a place called Murder Alley in this game, and I literally walked up to like two six foot something guys who were dressed as knights, and I was like, hey, can you walk me down Murder Alley? I'll draw some spells on your hands to keep you safe, and they're like, yeah, okay. Who that rules?

A woman like you should have mace on hand. I know, truly, I was like. They hand you a medieval mace here. Why am I here? This is just life. Okay, okay, okay. Okay everybody. Okay, okay.

I do have to, we have to do riddles. Sure, hey, sure. Looking at the T.Mu website, I'm like this is, you know in Wally where there was just like buildings made out of garbage. Yeah, yeah. This is the garbage that buildings will be made out of in 20 years.

I had to close the teaming website because I felt like if I stayed on it for five more minutes, I would get ADHD. I would finally understand ADHD in a real way where I was like, I gotta be off of this thing. Do you guys, real quick, do you guys hear that? That's me dribbling a silent. Oh, that rocks, actually.

I already got one, I already got one. That's like a, what, like a Zin Cohen, like the tree falls in the forest and no one hears it. That was the sound of Addle dribbling three silent basketballs. These are from Helen, and these are some warmup riddles. Hi Addle, Erin, and JPC.

I'm a huge fan of the pod and have been an avid listener since 2018. Recently, I found a book of riddles in my parents' attic that I used to read all the time with my siblings as kids. A lot of them are pretty awful and arguably not riddles in the first place, so I thought you'd love them. They'd make pretty good warm-up riddles.

Here are a few. And these are all, these are like riddles for kids vibes. Just going into this, just to give you a heads up. What did the flag say to Thomas Jefferson? What the flag say now is this important that it's Thomas Jefferson specifically? Um, I would say no. Okay. Okay.

What a flag. Okay, GPC. What do flags do or what they have stars and stripes. So but it doesn't matter that it's to Thomas Jefferson or it could just be to anyone who was like president. I think it could be to anyone, frankly. Anyone, frankly. Oh, Benjamin Franklin.

Benjamin Franklin, yeah. Not a president, but a father and father. So this is more just what did the flag say to a man or what did the flag say to just any person? The flag said this thing to a person. Yeah. Come on, guys. Stars and Stripes to meet you.

Oh, say can you see? I'm at half mass twinkle-wink. What if this is sort of like a little cheeky joke? Ooh. Something about a poll? What else about flags? Salutes, and stripes. Uh, fold it.

I never let it touch the ground. It's really tripping me up that it doesn't matter that it's Thomas Jefferson. Yeah. Because now I'm like, why is it top? It waves in the wind. It waves. It waved at him. Yes, nothing.

It just waved. Wow. Got it. It really truly did not matter that it was time. Yeah, I'd like to see a scene Well, Aaron hold on now before we see a scene because you said something interesting there This is where I think we're the this is the day before Thanksgiving when this comes out Sometimes we try to do a kid-friendly episode If we talked about anything so murder, murder, Ally, nevermind. Oh yeah, you called Simon a pedophile. Yeah, maybe within the first one minute, I said.

Pedophile. And where do you think our listeners are right now? Are they sort of prepping? Greyhound Bus. Giving food? Greyhound Bus? Which is the same as jail. Jail for the night.

If you're in a greyhound bus, can I hear you say, way-o? And if you just heard someone else say way-o on your greyhound bus, go over to them and take their phone away and say, you deserve better than hay-rattle-rattle. I recently got a manicure and I found out that the thing that they use to scrub the bottom

of your foot is called a pedophile No, it's not. Okay. Well, that's a pedicure which alleviates people from being pedophiles It's a pedicure Okay, okay As dirty as I want in this no no Okay, what's the scene here? Now that I know I can be as dirty as I want in this scene. No, no. Hattel. No, no.

You are president of the United States of America. Finally. And JPC, you are the flag that's in the Oval Office and you have sort of some ideas about what the president can be doing better. Gotcha. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Ah, what a nice crisp morning.

Take a big gulp of my Red Bull here. Morning, Mr. President. Ah, good morning, flag. Good morning. I'm assuming you were briefed on me. Yes, I was let in on all the secrets of the White House that this flag does talk, but only to the president. I know about the tunnels that JFK took to sneak Marilyn Monroe because I am the souls.

Oh, you're the souls of all the presidents who have come before. Come before. Yes. So the ones that have died. Oh, yeah. That's OK. Yeah. Oh, I trust me. I am ready for Jimmy Carter. Oh, I've chosen for Jimmy Carter. Oh, I'm chosen for Jimmy Carter That bastard, uh, I just want to real quick say that this is being recorded on Monday, November 4th. So I don't know it

Yeah, it is Monday November 4th at 847 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. We don't know what happens and... Senan! For sure Jimmy Carter lives though. I mean, come on, let's... Scene pause, scene pause. We don't think Jimmy Carter's going in the next 20 days, right? Well, it depends on who wins. Do we think Aaron Carter's still dead?

Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Senan! Do we think Aaron Carter's still dead? See it on see it on see it on see it on Um any um Any advice on how to like yeah I want to make time. Okay. Oh, yeah I want to make sure like the staff respects me like any oh, yeah No, fuck that. No, that does not matter. The staff does not you you're their boss You can hire him and you can fire him In fact, I would do a couple rounds of that like cool within the first 90 days. Oh perfect Yeah, I have some people fire some people really shake things up make them fear you hell

Yeah, we gotta get down to Bryce tax, okay? I think you probably have recognized if you're looking at me, you know full on as a flag I Got a few extra stars in there. Yes. Yeah, I saw I noticed noticed that. I thought it was a mistake or maybe Betsy Ross went nuts. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. You're in charge of getting this done. Three more states. Mm.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And do I get to choose or this is sort of like you all have your eye on something? Yeah, I mean, you don't know which one of these stars is like California, right? You don't know which one is Alaska.

It don't matter to the flag. Yes. You know what the states are. It's just three more states like a don't know which one is Alaska. It don't matter to the flag. Yes, you know what the states are It's just three more states like I'll tell you there's probably some like I don't know some like easy ones Like you're like Prince Edward Island Yeah, never more the bullet Prince Edward Island. You could make that a state You could throw like I mean you could do Puerto Rico You can grab that one up like quick if you wanted to be kind of like basic

I thought don't I mean, it's already sort of a US territory. Exactly. I'm saying you Puerto Rico you can grab that one up like quick if you wanted to be kind of like basic I Mean it's already sort of a US territory exactly I'm saying you could have Guam. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, right, but like yeah, that's like that you're thinking too small, you know, okay Yeah, whoo, maybe like Belarus that would be I think awesome is if you just annexed Belarus Made a mistake. And again, it's Monday, November 4th. We don't know what's happened. We don't know if they're still Belarus. Mr. President, Mr. President.

Ah. Oh, um, I was just talking to these birds. You're crazy. See? See? Ah! Yeah, yeah. That is what it feels like talking to a man. You're right.

Good point about talking to a man. Okay. If you walk into a room and a man says, I was just talking to these birds, you're crazy. He was masturbating. Nothing else he could have been doing. Okay, let's, we're actually gonna get through all of these before we go on break.

That's how quick, because everyone always comments, Aaron's, we're actually gonna get through all of these before we go on break, that's how quick. Cause everyone always comments, Erin said we're so good bros. Okay Erin, you got two minutes. Did we get the, oh we got the first one, yeah. Yep. Who wrote, I love school? Barg Simpson. Who wrote,

I love school? This is like impossible to get. Is this a pun? No, it's just like a weird, this is I think an impossible riddle to get. Is it the ruler? Kind of unfair for Erin to say. We're gonna get through these really fast.

And the first one she gives us is what it's impossible. I'll just tell you what it is. This one is, I am kidding. Like it's a funny joke. Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest animal in the world? Is this where we are? Whatever happened in the election, we in the world? Is this where we are? Whatever happened in the election, we deserve it. Because this is where we are. Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest animal in the world?

You know, this one's kind of morbid, ultimately. Hmm. Because he gets to find his own eggs. No. Because, okay, why is the Easter Bunny? Easter Bunny the luckiest? Oh, because he's the only one that gets to know God's love? No.

Oh, biggest penis out of all the rabbits? No, hold on, no, no, no, no, no, no. But we're going in the right direction. But I'm right, right? No, no, no. Erin, I'm right, right? I don't, you think I know? Erin was screaming no,

and both Adel and I's response was, but yes, though, right? But I'm right, right? You know what, Adel, you're right. I've been sleep trip screaming this year, so I do know the size of the Easter Bunny's penis. You're right, that's the kind of year I'm having. You're right, actually, when I slept with the Easter Bunny

this summer when I was in a manic episode, I did find out the size of his penis. Wow. I'm better now. Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest animal in the world? I'm better now, it's perfect. I'm better now. I'm better, I'm fine now.

Why is the Easter Bunny the luckiest man in the world? Wait, does it say luckiest man? Luckiest animal, animal, animal. I was thinking about sleeping with him and that's why he's the luckiest man. Does it have something to do with Sundays? Does it have something to do with eggs? Does it have something to do with eggs? No, what's something that's lucky?

Like famously lucky. Four-leaf clover. What else? A shamrock. Oh, rabbit's foot. He's got rabbit's foot. He's got two rabbit's feet. He's got four rabbit's feet. Wow. Really, they don't want hands? I've never seen the Easter Bunny on all fours, to be honest. I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was rushing for it. Aaron Pegg, the Easter Bunny. Aaron Pegg, the Easter Bunny. Erin pegged the Easter bunny. Not necessarily. Dribble silent basketball. Shoops it at who? Swish. I mean, Erin.

What? What about me? Honestly, any other episode, I would call for a scene where you're pegging the Easter bunny, but I know you said you wanna get through all these, so I will. Thank you so much. And you know what?

If you're one of my friends who listens to this, Cody, Charlie, my mom, can you just send your condolences over so much And you know what if you're one of my friends who listens to this Cody Charlie my mom Can you just send your condolences over a text to me right now while you're listening to this episode? She's better now. I'm sorry about what you have to sort of go through. Okay Next one why do chickens enjoy thunderstorms? Ooh, why do chickens enjoy thunderstorms? I do know that if you leave them out in the rain They'll like open their mouths, look up, and drown themselves. Oh.

Ha. Huh. So don't do that with chicken. That's a good turn. What are you talking about? Chickens are so dumb that if you leave them outside in a rainstorm, they'll drown themselves by just looking up and gaping at the sky.

It's either true or not true. I mean, does it matter anymore in a post-election world? Like in the Black Hole Sun music video? It doesn't seem likely that chickens will drown in the rain, but they can get into trouble if they're wet for too long. Same with me in the submarine. I mean, that's everyone. What?

Hey-o! Yeah, you get like a yeast infection, right? Aaron, can you read it one more time? Why do chickens love the storms? Thunderstorms? Why do chickens enjoy thunderstorms? And it's sort of a play on words. Does that have something to do with lightning? No.

Does it have something to do with like the sound that chickens make and the sound that like thunder, like, blockings? No, thunderstorm is like not good weather, right? Like bad weather. Yeah, oh, cause they like, thunderstorm is like not good weather, right? Like bad weather. Yeah, oh, cause they like it when the weather's foul. Yes. Nice.

I feel like we're blowing past things that have great scene options, but I made a promise. That's on you. That's on you, Erin. Well then let's go on a break, and then we don't have to, I don't have to be blowing this as much. And then I'll do a ton of riddles when we,

uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Um, I throw up a ton of riddles when we... Uh, yeah, uh, uh! Uh, what? Um, I throw up Dunkin' Donuts coffee down my chest. Um... Um... Uh, I haven't had it in months. No, I'm drinking it right now.

I'm actually... I am... Something is happening in my brain, and we do need to go on a break. This is the first time I've ever, like, really needed a second to compose. We're not on the break yet? We're still... I do need a second to compose myself alright. We will be right back Aaron don't yawn you're gonna make me on yeah, oh

Aaron, don't yawn, you're gonna make me yawn. Hiya! Ooh. Ooh. I told you you wouldn't like it the way I yawn. I'm exhausted. I think I gotta go home to my Helix mattress. Oh, I gotta go home to my Helix mattress. I love my Helix mattress.

And I am home and I'm on my Helix mattress. It's a midnight lux, it's the best mattress I've ever had in my entire life and I'm sleeping on it right now and this is a dream. I would say, you're my puppets Yes, and Gemma and I also have a midnight luxe. It's the most comfortable bed. We've ever owned It's the best sleep I've ever got in my life. Sometimes when our cats are being rambunctious We'll pick one of them up say brisket. We'll put them on the heel of sleep immediately

He spins around three times lays down goes to goes to bed. It soothes all creatures. I've had my mattress for about three years. It still is as good as it was the first night I slept on it. And anytime I have a guest come and they stay in my room, they always go, what is this mattress? I'm obsessed.

Oh, a guest. Erin, didn't you say that your mattress still sleeps? Like it's brand spanking new. And didn't you wink when you said spanking? You were here for that? This could have been a different conversation. Could have been a conversation with a completely different guy back completely. You're in my dream

and you're a puppet and I'm insane and you're insane. Whoa. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. And do we all have Helix Midnight Lux? Is that the mattress that we all have? I think so. Yeah. We are all the same sleeper. Whoa. I love it. Whoa, we just sleep at different times.

We just sleep at different times. We just sleep at different times. But only one of us could be asleep at any given time. Isn't that true? It isn't that true. It isn't that true. Isn't that true and you must remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, it is November, which means there's a November offer.

Right now, 25% off site-wide, you get two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase. There's also a free bedding bundle You get two dream pillows sheet set and mattress protector with any Lux or elite mattress order And you can find all that more by going to helix sleep comm slash riddle again. That's helix sleep comm slash riddle You're going to bed Getting comfy Helix sleep sleep like a podcaster. Oh my god Alright. You're going to bed. Okay. You're getting comfy. He looks sleep.

Sleep like a podcaster. Oh my gosh, JPC hit us with one more yawn. Eeeewww, I- Oh boy. The cowboy just came running over. Hi, uh, Aaron. Uh, ho ho ho, this is Boston Santa. Hi Boston Santa. Hi, Boston Santa.

I brought JPC here with me, and I thought to give you a gift, or a... What is it, what is it, what is it? Or a gift, I got you a gift, or a... It's an Aura frame, I love Aura frames. He didn't bring me here, and I was sleeping, I was sleeping in my bed, and Boston Santa came and he took me.

I'm not the most tech savvy, but this is actually great because the Aura Digital Frame is actually perfect. That's because, yes, it's tech, but it's also so easy to use. It's so easy to use. I got Aura Frames for my grandparents, my parents, my in-laws. They love Aura Frames, and I can upload pictures of my family directly to them so that even when we're apart, they can still be connected to us. That's right, it's sort of the perfect gift.

And I know your third host, Adil Rafai, got it for his mom and his mom said it's the best gift she ever got. Yeah, that's right, Boston Sinton. I'm sure if Adil was here, he'd want everybody to know that for a limited time, you can visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off of Aura's best-selling Carver MatFrames by using promo code RIDDLE at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com. Promo code RIDDLE. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year.

So don't miss out! Terms and conditions apply. And, uh, Erin, check your stocking and I think you'll find seven to eight lobster rolls. Oh, thank you, Boston Santa. Are you...? That's like $800 of lobster roll! Are you single? I, uh, I'm single tonight. Tries to get ring off finger. I love it. I'm in. All right, we are back from break. These riddles are still from Helen.

Thank you, Helen. I would actually like to see a scene from the riddle we did before the break. You guys are two chickens in the rain Man really coming down torrential Yeah coming down That's what I thought last summer when I hooked up with a goose Todd you don't You know what you hook up with a goose and then it just happens and it blows by.

Coming down. Yeah, and then I never get to talk about it again? We said we were going to educate ourselves, right? That's why I bought that word of the day calendar. Today's the first day. The word today is torrential. I tried to use it in a sentence. I just think we're all moving past my awesome exp- my once in a lifetime for a

chicken experience last summer. Yeah. And it's just like back to being like regular Todd. Like you have smarts. Thank you. Like Steve, everyone knows you're the smartest chicken. Thank you. Ah! Ah! Ah! Is my body gone? Be honest, is my body gone? Ah! Am I just ahead? Ah! Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Am I just ahead? Tell me. No. Todd, am I just a head? Ah! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. Am I just a head? Tell me, Todd, am I just a head? Uh, I can't run, I can't run, I can't run. You're over- you're overreacting. Uh...

Ah, ah... You're- no, you're still full- Full body running around. Who's that? Who's that? Separate from the head. Who is that just running- That's Neil. Who?

That's Neil, he's one of the new chickens. Where's his head? Where's Neil's head? He is... Oh, he's one of those chickens with that one. Oh. Phew. But I have my body. Give me another six minutes before he's dead.

You've got your body. Seed. Who was that when it's your own body running by you? Who's that? What was that thing? Yeah. I should have been turned on. Who was that?

Who can jump higher than a house? Superman. No? What was that thing? Yeah, I should have been turned on. Who is that? Who can jump higher than a house? Superman. No? Easy. Who can jump higher? I'm so tired of you guys putting Superman on a pedestal. Erin.

What? My dear, the answer is everyone because houses can't jump. Nice. You got it. I thought it was Wilson because house's leg is kind of fucked up and that's why he does Vicodin and he's so good at solving the medical Oh, you're talking about the show house. No The neighbor on home improvement. Yeah, no

When does a man act like a dog every goddamn Don't want to say this but is it when there's pussy around? Ooh. You are a father. You are a homeowner. You are a functioning member of society. And yeah, it's when pussies are out. High five, motherfucker, you idiot.

We did not high five. I do want to check real quick. I know in the past we've talked about doing a kids episode. Is there anything in this episode that would? Oh, god. This could be a kids episode. Why don't we just call this one a kids friendly episode and have parents be like, uh-oh, well?

Gotta learn something. Yeah, you shouldn't have trusted us, dumbass. This is actually something I will pledge. Since I normally make this episode a kid friendly episode and it's not happening this time around, this is something we will do next year. Next year I will pick a month, maybe like April or something, and we will do four friendly kid episodes in a row.

Impossible. Yes we will. I'm pledging it now, I'm making that promise. Erin, I'm happy to try, we will have to record an extra half hour to cut out. I know, and I know that about you. And I know that we're gonna have to give you a cushioning on the sides of each episode

for you to be like, fuck tits, fuck bitch, eat your buddy, Aaron's taking the eat your buddy. I wonder, I wonder if a parent sees kid-friendly episode in their feed, they gotta listen to that first before showing it to their kids, right? No, no way. No, I think that we have enough, I think,

no, I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. I think I have built up enough goodwill with our listeners that if I promise they trust me, if you, if JPC was like kid-friendly episodes, they would assume that they were X-rated. Yeah, if it's titled Aaron's Kid-Friendly Episode, parents are like press play, hand it over, done. They walk into the other room, do whatever they want.

If this is JPC's family friendly episode or Adle's family friendly episode, they're breaking their phone in half. I guess it would be like how I treat my family because I don't give a fuck what I say in front of them. So it's like, to me, it would be family friendly because they could listen to anything. I don't give a shit.

Yeah, you know, sometimes I remember my mom listen to this and it makes me feel insecure. Anyways. Anyways. The other day I had a dance party with JBC's child. No. I did and it was to the music of Blink-182. Stop.

Do I have to move back to Chicago? I really don't want to guys guys. I would be exhausting. We had a play date the other day and I was talking to another dad and he was like, do you play kids music? And I was like, no. And he was like, oh, yeah, we found this kids music channel

that they really enjoy. And I was like, my kid likes Dua Lipa. I was like, I don't know. So funny. My kid's into like Sabrina Carpenter, is that like, that feels kind of like kid's music. Yeah. Yeah.

When does a man act like a dog? Ooh, Joan Baez. Think of kinds of dogs, that will be helpful to you. Oh, when he's retrieving, when he's... Terrier, when he's Pitbull. When he's Pitbull! No, well that's... Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Worldwide!

Yeah, see, I'll take that answer because the answer is so similar to that, but come up with a dog. It's a profession. A Saint Bernard. A profession. Now I'm mute. A laborer. A profession that's often in cinema.

Boxer. I feel like there's, yes. Boxer. I'd like to see a scene. Labor labor profession that's often in cinema boxers. Yes boxer I'd like to see a scene Adel you're a boxer an actual boxer and JBC you're his coach and you're trying to pump him up and he's about to fight a Boxer dog in the ring got it All right, just stick and move stick and move I think I got this I think I got this boss Okay, now when you get out there when you get out there, you're not gonna want to throw that first punch Okay, cuz because people hate me. Yeah. No, it's honestly it's because of who your opponent is

There's gonna be a piece of you a sliver of humanity. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna want to not do this fight, but I have to warn you This is your last chance chip. This is last chance I got it I got it I got it if you don't win this fight okay it could be it could be bad things for you yeah we went down a lot of money yeah yeah pretty much every Paul brother has beat the shit out of you, Chip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm 62 and famously he fights people in their prime, so I was of course his last match. Yeah, his last match.

Yeah, what a cool guy. What a cool guy. Uh, okay, um, uh, boss, I gotta ask. Yeah? Where do I punch a dog at? Like, where is a dog? Anywhere. Anywhere?

Anywhere. It's truly anywhere okay okay I don't want to get too much into the specifics of it yeah but this is kind of like a can't lose fight as long as you have the willpower to continue the fight yeah I just got it he's so low to the ground it's gonna be really hard and I don't know I didn't hear anything about whether or not he's allowed to bite me sure he is he doesn't really intend intend to. This is not a mean dog as well. Yeah. He's not really gonna understand what's happening either.

Oh, the round's starting. Here we go. Round one. Oh, ow! It's dead. I killed it. It's dead. Oh. Uh. My dog! You killed my dog! Oh my god! Oh That dog saved the man's life because the mob was gonna the mob was gonna kill chip This is a trolley problem. No stop booing. This is a trolley problem

It's an even a thing. No, it's an even drain. Jake Paul would never. He would. I've seen him do it. I saw him do this to a Chihuahua. Yeah, probably at a party or something behind closed doors like a real man. You think Jake Paul would invite me to a party? Boo. Make the coach fight. Make the coach fight.

Oh my god. The dog's getting up. Holy shit, the dog's getting up. Oh, holy shit the dogs getting up Even less convincing. Ooh. See? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. I'm having fun. I really love it here. It is so crazy. You know what is so crazy? Just another riddle? What is so crazy? No.

Carrie Elway's performance in The Princess Bride? Yes. Yes. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, underrated. Underrated. Wait a second. What?

The Princess Bride is underrated? I think so. No, wait a second. What the princess bride is underrated I know his performance performance. Well, I don't know It feels like one of the most beloved movies of its generation, but I feel like most people are like, oh Mandy Mandy Patinkin is oh that you killed my father or like Andre the giant or Wallace Shawn Inconceivable, but always, what a fucking dreamboat. Just look at his face. He has my favorite moment in that movie when he can't move his arm

and he does the one try and then the second try. That's like my favorite bit of physical comedy in a movie. Yeah, the physical comedy in that movie is, it does go pretty hard. I like the, when he goes, so I'm gonna call the brute squad. And Andre the Giant goes, I am the brute squad. He goes, you are the brute squad. Cause what the Giant goes, I am the brute squad. He goes, you are the brute squad.

Because what my thought is, is that at first in the script, there was no repetition of you are the brute squad. But I think Rob Reiner was like, can you just repeat what he said? Yeah. Anything Andre the Giant says, let's just go ahead and say it back to him one more time.

Okay. Why did the math teacher cry on his last day of school? Kids hated him, bullied. Yes, yes. Was he bullied because the kids hated him? Oh, because he incited division. Yeah, you got it.

He hates being divided from his class. Wow. I would like to see a scene. That sucks too because it's like, math teachers are also people, guys. They're not people who are in love with math. That's not why they do it. I'd like to see a scene.

GPC, you are a math teacher on the last day of school and Adel and I are in your class and we've just been bullying the shit out of you all year and you've sort of had enough Seniors Take take your seats seniors. Take your seats. Come on guys. Oh, we are allowed to take our seats home with us. Awesome Thanks, sweet sweet. It's the last day of class. Let's just try to get let's just try to get through it You're all graduating and everyone in the class is graduating

Congratulations guys, you call all got D pluses, but oh nice Hey everybody raise your hand if your Toyota Corolla was not keyed Not so fast. Mr.. Johnson. I wasn't gonna raise my hand. I know it's obviously been keyed I know that you guys know that I drive a Toyota Corolla Raise you raise your hand no don't listen to this if you're gonna Spend the summer going through a messy drawn out divorce. Why isn't your hand raised? I'm not married.

Okay, everyone. Oh yeah. No, because of the divorce. Because of the divorce. No, I've never been married, okay? Yeah, we know that. Just wanted to hear you say it out loud. We.

You know, life is actually pretty messy. Okay, For know that just wanted to hear you say it out loud. We You know life is actually pretty okay for scum what? eat Actually pretty my side You may not believe it here I can run Lila Wayne blows That's not the way I sound your tie is so dumb. It's so clean loser Just it's just a it's just a tie, it's just a clean tie. Oh it's just a clean tie. It's just a clean tie. I meal prep at the beginning of the week and I bring my lunch into school. That's just smart and it saves money. I don't understand why I'm getting

heat for that. There's vegetables, protein, and a grain. And sometimes I add a little something sweet. It's like if I far far far away from here have I talked about it? is this just something that you kids have picked up on? shut the fuck up throws chair at the chalkboard Brett Brett what about Brett?

you guys are 18 okay? I'm a math teacher I'm a math teacher I bring my coffee from home 4 days out of the week but then I bring a takeout coffee in on Fridays as a little treat to sort of make life seem easier. If I have a 10 inch penis and then I subtract nine inches, that's the actual size of my penis. So there's another chair at the chalkboard.

Yes, Brett! Yes, Brett! That fucking rocks, Brett! I love that! You know what? You guys are gonna find out that the world is actually a lot scarier and a lot different than you think. No, it's not.

Oh, really? Is that why tomorrow I leave for tour with Shane Gillis? I leave to tour the nation with Shane Gillis? He's touring. He's a groupie. He's not invited. He's going anyway. Brett fucking rocks.

Prop king forever. Throw his chair at the chalkboard. Stop throwing chairs, OK? Look, there's five or six kids in class that don't have chairs now. At least throw your own chairs. What are they gonna do? You guys are just lounging.

Leave? You know what? This class sucks. Math sucks. Math is not important. My phone can do math. You suck. You're ugly.

Yeah, my phone can do math too. Okay, calculator app. 8,000 plus time? Stop. Stop trying to do math too. Okay calculator app 8,000 Stop stop trying to do math Teachers had boobs we got you on camera. You're fucking ruined your ruins teacher. Whoa 10,000 retweets Fucked sorry re-exes come on You know what? Look, we've only been in class for two minutes today.

I'm gonna call it here, I'm gonna call it here, this is the last class before graduation, it's eight period. Throw two chairs at the chalkboard. We broke him. Stop it, okay? Everybody enjoy your summer, enjoy the rest of your lives. Everyone can go home.

Brett, Chris, I want to see you guys both after class. Why, because you want to try and kiss us? No. Pervert. It's not because I want to try to kiss you. Yo mama sure does care about your schooling, boy. Remember that, remember the one, the teacher in Forrest Gump? How do you know my name, teach?

You've seen Forrest Gump? How do you know my name, teacher? Call me Chris, you know my name, teach? How do you know my name, teacher? Call me Chris, you know my name. Chris, you've been in this class for four years. This was a freshman level math class. Hell yeah. That you keep failing, you finally graduate, and you limited it one class credit to do it. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chrisens Arena. Look, hey, I just wanted to say. What? Now that you have graduated, effectively.

You're getting sentimental on us? I'm not a teacher anymore. You guys are peers. You guys are peers. So if you ever, here's my phone number. This is my personal phone number. Whoa, teacher's trying to give us his phone number. That's fucked.

You guys are 18. If you ever want to, smoke weed. Wait, what? Huh? Drink beer. That's pretty fucking dank. Yo, wait, Chris is teacher cool? Wait, maybe his dick is 10 inches.

Go to the park after night, you'll never find out. Go to the park after night and throw fucking bottles. Whoa, so go into the park during the day and throw bottles? That's what we do every day. Yeah, it's like after the morning. It would be like the morning, throwing bottles in the morning what we do every day. Yeah, like after the morning. It'd be like the morning throwing bottles in the morning. Hell yeah, wait. You're not so bad after all.

Yeah, Mr. Johnson, you're actually pretty fucking dope. Yeah, I know. I mean, if I was kind of like some lame pushover teacher, you guys would have crushed me, OK? You guys would have absolutely, day one, you would have crushed me. But I'm here, man. I'm chill. I'm cool.

Yeah. Guys, put your numbers in my phone, okay? Okay. Cool. I'm not gonna use it to track you guys to Toledo so that I can find you and kill you at a Shane Gillis concert. Here's mine, 69420666 Bebs. Yeah, that's not a number, that's not a phone number.

All right, great, my number's in your phone, cool. I didn't listen to what you were mumbling, so everything feels chill. Whoa, I just looked through your contacts. Casey Tony? Do you know him from Toledo? Yeah, I go to Toledo pretty frequently. Seen.

All right, let's get through the rest of these hell and riddles. Why can't a baseball player be afraid of the dark? Because they hate bats. Because, oh, they love bats. Because they- Yeah, because they're not afraid of the dark? Cause they hate bats because they love bats. Because they- Yeah, because they're not afraid of bats. They can't be afraid of the dark. This one's a little strange, the insert.

Why can't baseball players be afraid of the dark? Mm, oh, because they're always out. This one doesn't make much sense. This is actually, and Helen, absolutely no disrespect to you, these have been amazing. But this is, I think, my least favorite riddle in a really long time. Is it because they can go home? They can always go home? No, this makes this this is nothing this makes no sense to me

I get it, but I also I'm like what is this? Is it a baseball pun will I get it with yeah, but you won't I don't think this is it's also just not how it works outfield Pitcher this is like what catcher it's like someone didn't know anything about baseball, this is how it works. You would have to get promoted from a certain league into another league. Minor leagues?

Yeah, minor, yep. Oh, what can I do? Why are they not afraid of the dark? Oh, because they- Why can't they be afraid of the dark? Because they always have triple A's? No. Double A's? That's good. You guys are way too smart for this.

But you said it's about being promoted from the miners to the majors? Kind of. I'm just gonna tell you. Okay. Kind of. He will always have to start with the miners. Wait, what?

Don't love saying this. I know, I know. Is that Simon? Is that a joke about Simon? Wait, so what is the, I still Don't love saying this. I know, I know. Is that Simon? Is that a joke about Simon? Wait, so what is the, I still don't understand it. Like a miner's helmet, like a miner's? No, they're saying that like you have to start in the miner leagues, but that's just not true

because some people go directly to the majors. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But what does that have to do with being in the dark? Like mining, people who mine underground. Yeah. I know, I told you, I'm the one. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're also presupposing that miners

aren't afraid of the dark in that, right? Yes, you guys, I said this is my least favorite riddle in a really long time. I wanna see a scene. No, you don't. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, I wanna see a scene. Let's do, okay, we're all gonna be in this one.

Adel, Erin and I are going to be miners who have come out of the mine and we're at a bar. And you're gonna be another guy at a bar who has like a fucked up idea of like what a miner is. And you're like very much in awe of the two of us. Okay. I'm gonna grab another beer if you. Yeah, dirty martini, I'll take a dirty martini. Oh sweet, okay

Are you sure with your tummy stuff? That's fine. You're you're They're on special so it's more about like do I want to pay four bucks for a beer do I want to pay four bucks? For a dirty martini. I get it. I get it. I'm just saying I know you got no beer. No chase a beer You got a ride home. I'll get you a dirty martini. I forgot we live we live two blocks from each other we're both ubering in the same car so yeah I know you don't want to smell dirty martini fart I'm getting you a dirty martini I'm getting you dirty martini whoa whoa whoa holy shit are you two miners no we're allowed to be here at a bar just kidding yeah obviously we're coal to be here at a bar. Just kidding, yeah, obviously we're coal miners. Oh man, that is awesome.

Can I meet your little birds? Are they here? You talking about the canaries? No, the little birds. Are you asking us to give you the finger? I feel like that's the one-to-one. You mean the birds that we take down into the mine with us? You have those little birds that are supposed to, they're like your, um...

What's that, in the Golden Compass? You know how they all have like, daemons or whatever? Like a familiar? Yeah, aren't they like your little familiars and like if a spell's cast in the mines, they, they like take the spell for you so they die? No. No, they give us a couple canaries and those usually die 15-20 minutes into every shift. And we just keep working. We've got what they were for but yeah Wands do you have your wands? What I see your wands hey grabbing my coat stop grabbing our coats, okay?

You're gonna get coal smudges all over you No, we don't have wands we have like shovels, and it's honestly. It's mostly heavy equipment. Oh sure oh Yeah, so you're I see I see what you do in the mines I was thinking of a different type of miner so you guys are the ones words like you press down on that you press that handle down into the box and then the dynamite explodes and then when the dust settles your your hair is blown backwards and then close up on your teeth and they all they look like piano keys and then they all fall out first of all I spent a lot of money on Invisalign so for you to tell me my teeth look like piano keys

more like line I can see every inch of that what we're being bullied in a bar wait a second now wait a damn minute what do you do Mr. Holier than thou you think you know everything about us? What is it that you do? I play for the New York Mets We got two more riddles, and then I want to do a voicemail and then so we just go quick What game do fish like playing the most go fish? No that would make sense It's like a road trip game Go quick. What game do fish like playing the most? Go fish. No, that would make sense. It's like a road trip game. I Spy. I Spy?

Trout. What's the license plate game? The ABC license plate game? Get Trout. Or like, yeah, you play this. 20 Questions? No, it's a music game. Oh, um.

A music game on a road trip? Playless roulette. Where you like, or hum, like say like I go, what's this song? Hmm. Hmm. Name that tuna. Yeah. Name that tuna.

Name that tuna. What happens when you take your father's pie? I don't get this one. Well, tell your mother that we ate all the pie. Yeah, you guys suck. You suck. You both suck so bad and I like you both so much. Well, just tell your mother that we ate all the pie.

What happens when you take your father's pie? You get a mad dad. That's the answer. Thank you, Helen. What? Why did Adam say oh like that? Can we get a voicemail theme, Casey? JBC, what does that mean? What is- I don't know! Man, dad. What's that thing called

When you leave your voice behind And a box moves to build a sound So your friend can listen to When they're evil. That's right, it's a voicemail. Ladies and gentlemen, James Taylor. That was so lovely. That's beautiful. That's a voicemail theme by Davey Paul. Davey Paul, thank you so much for sending that in.

If you want to send in a theme, HRRPodcast at gmail.com. Make it a WAV file. Keep it to under 30 seconds and you might get it featured on the show. That was awesome. I love that. Can we get a voice mail Casey? Hello, lovely people. I work in nuclear medicine, which means I inject people with radioactive stuff all day. And the most common question I get is am I going to glow, which obviously no, you only get superpowers.

So, do you four encounter any pervasive misconceptions in your domains? And how do you disabuse people of them? Thanks for everything. Back to Kids Bop for me. Benjamin, out! Thank you, Benjamin. What a charming person.

What a wild job, yeah. Did Benjamin say nuclear medicine? Yeah, is he like making superheroes for a living? That's what it seems like. Did we just like uncover something? That's Bruce Banner. We just got a voicemail from Bruce Banner. I have had that, I was in a car crash like 10 years ago

and they like give you a CAT scan or CT scan, but they put like this dye in you that is like a radioactive dye so that the machine can read it and it does feel like warm as it's going through your body and it is such a weird sensation to be able to feel a liquid like going through your whole body. Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, like your blood is like, you know, pumping around there all the time, but you don't really like feel it. But when you feel that dye go through, you can kind of like feel it like hitting every nook

and cranny of your insides. It's fun. It's a fun sensation. Now, JPC, what type of dye was that again? And remember, you're the lead singer of Imagine Dragons. That dye would be, and just JPC, and just pull one other Imagine Dragons song. Not the one he wants you to do, but just one other.

And even if you look at the names of Imagine Dragons songs. Feel the thunder, thunder, thunder. Ah! You guys, I went to an Imagine Dragons concert recently. We know and we're jealous. I know and I'm just saying, I'm kind of the luckiest girl in the world. Erin, you, me, JBC, Chaperone.

Oh my God, that sounds incredible. Sorry, Chapel Hill, North Carolina. To see you imagine dragons. I'm so sorry. No, I think, yeah, no. I think you're gonna get caught up in the discourse of being a straight guy that took a ticket to a Chapelrone concert when a queer person could have had it and then you're gonna get fucking canceled. Wait, you guys, I forget what the voicemail question was. The question was, so people assume if they get injected by any amount of radiation that they'll glow. So you're saying like what sort of like misconceptions

do people have with us? And I guess I'll go first. And the first thing off the top of my head is like, I don't know if this is what you're asking for, but it's the first thing that I thought of, which is so many people will say to the three of us together or individually, they'll just reference something from the show and I think they expect us to remember.

I feel like I can speak for all three of us when I say we don't remember. I don't remember what happened at the beginning of this episode. So I feel like everyone just assumes that we remember. At the beginning of this episode was the Simon Says pedophile thing that we talked about and Erin said don't bring up anymore.

So that would be my thing is that people wrongly assume that we remember anything we've said or done. For me, it's wrongly assuming I remember any riddles. If someone asked me to tell them a riddle, I'm like, I don't know, I really don't know. That's really on us though, cause we do a riddle podcast and someone's like, oh, great, what's a good riddle? And you're like, okay, fuck off. That's really on us though, because we do a riddle podcast and someone's like, oh, great, what's a good riddle?

And you're like, OK, fuck off. Oh, yeah, definitely me. That's not. I think one thing that people would probably assume about me from the character that I play on the show is that I am an extrovert, but I am not. I'm very much an introvert. And I think that that's a fun dichotomy, because it's like,

you get an hour of someone's voice and you're like, oh, this is the way this person is But it's like also this is an hour of my 24-hour day That's when you get it all out. Yeah Ring up the cloth well I think also if you tell I don't know about you guys, but I also tell people That I'm a comedian and I do think that sometimes when you tell someone that you're a comedian that I'm a comedian. And I do think that sometimes when you tell someone that you're a comedian, there is like an expectation that you'll like, be funny, you know, for them. But it's like, oh,

but also, I don't feel like doing that. Like, I'm not at work. I'm a comedian. That's what I do. Self-described as a comedian. I don't feel like a comedian. I feel like a not an improviser and content creator. For sure. Yeah, I'd say improviser and content creator if I were you. For sure, yeah, I'd say improviser and content creator if I were you, for sure. I really don't though. I feel like, it feels like an insult to comedians when I go like, oh, I'm a comedian

because I just don't feel comedy forward. Interesting, but also like, I think I hate the term content creator. Like if someone's like, what do you do? It's like, oh, I'm a content creator. That's like someone being like, what's your favorite food? And you're like, oh, I love chewy.

And I love, oh, like firm can be nice sometimes. There's a stigma too, yeah, yeah. Well, no, it's just like too, it's just too little. Like everybody is a content creator to a certain extent nowadays. Yeah, I'm with you. Paddle, do you have anything to plug? I wanna plug next year,

we're gonna be doing four episodes in a row that are all kid friendly, we assume. And I also want to plug Belarus. Check it out, read up on it. Yeah, read up on it, baby, before we check it out. Yeah, Aaron Keefe, is there anything you would like to plug or promote? Um, I'd say check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.

Lots of fun stuff going on over there. Um, and if you haven't checked it out before, give it a shot. And if you don't like it, that's fine. GPC, any review to read or something to plug? Very important thing to plug. If you know him and you love him like we do, our editor, Casey Casey Tony, formerly of the Neo Scum podcast, has a brand new podcast that has just released. It's already out, right Casey? That's right. The first episode is already out. I'm going to play the theme here underneath. Yeah.

It's a horror comedy narrative podcast, a super high production value show called Gutter. Gutter is set in a post-disaster Pacific Northwest littered with paranormal mysteries. It's crass and chaotically funny and full of the brim with thrills, chills, and kills. And Casey, fade out Casey's audio. Good idea, Addle. How about I let the show speak for itself? Here we go!

Oh my god, he threw the chair. He threw the chair. And now he's getting it back because we're going to have to sit. We are in Casey's home. That was Casey's actual chair. Bodhi has a pocket full of like random things. Some twine, a small abacus, one oversized precious moment angel

that has a real strange face. Oh, I thought that was your dick. Oh! It was your dick. Oh! It was. It was his dick. There's a hole in his pocket and his penis, which does resemble a Precious Moment angel with a strange face. Oh, it's a strange face, but it actually looks

like a pretty normal penis head. And that's what we call facts. Cannon. You look out of the window and you see a Toyota Previa upside down on fire. Oh my god. Oh. It's not nearby any trees or anything, so it's fine.

On fire? It's fine. It's not fine. Oh, hey, GM. Jesus Christ, that's my fucking car. Dynamite headbutt. He screams as he headbutts this man. This is one of Bodhi's three moves that he has. Dynamite headbutt! He screams as he headbutts this man.

This is one of Bodhi's three moves that he has. Dynamite headbutt. You're going to see the other two later. You smash your head into this guy's cue ball. Honestly, his left jaundiced eyeball pops out of his head. Oh. Boom! He's quivering hard.

And if you were to take a picture the second their two heads were touching, it might have been an intimate tender scene between Friends or lovers, but if you were to take a picture at any other second It is just absolutely horrifying for some men violence is a form of intimacy, which is so sad Yeah, maybe for this man, but anyway Smashed in the head passed out. Oh my god. I love hot dogs That's like my favorite food back in the day doctor told me I god I love hot dogs that's like my favorite food back in the day doctor told me I could only two hot dogs a day doctors are way

cooler out here that's all I'm saying oh really oh okay do you eat multiple hot dogs a day or hot dogs shipping little. I literally have some in my... You have hot dogs? Oh. I'm coming back! Okay, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, not with me, not in my backpack, not in my backpack. What the hell did I just suck down?

What were those glizzies? Jesus Christ. I ate one of your stun guns. My body's like vibrating, like shaking. You see my big, massive bones. Oh my God. What the hell? He walks through the French doors and he looks back and he says one last threatening phrase pointing to the bar I'm gonna and violet shoots him in the head

You see this guy's ear get fucking blown off just like flying off his head You see this guy's ear get fucking blown off. Just like, flying off his head. Ah! Bye bye! And then at this point, Scratch pops up like a mummy. Ah! Mummy! Ah! Headbutt! Dynamite headbutt!

Ha ha! Within the pit, something is rising, piecing itself together from the bodies and viscera around it. Its black wings spread, and it looks back at you with red, wet eyes. Gutter. Casey, look, I'm a long-time fan of your projects. I was a big fan of Neo Scum, specifically like a three-episode arc

that I really remember pretty vividly. I can't. That you happen to be on? But, Casey, everybody who's listening, we have all got the same question. Is there gonna be a character whose name is Comm or something like that on the show? Is Comm Wizard coming back? Casey, is Comm Wizard coming back?

Well, JPC, no spoilers, but guess you just have to listen, bitch. Ooh. Casey, this sounds amazing. I'm so excited to listen. Yeah, same. I'm a big fan of your work, so. Casey, I'm so excited to listen, and I'm where I get my podcasts.

And two more times with that name of the show. Oh, Adel, that show is called G-U-T-T-E-R, Gutter. Gutter. You can listen, like you said, wherever you get your podcasts or you can find us on any of the social media platforms as That Gutter Show and our website is gutter.show. Check it out.

I think you'll day it. And Casey, I love that theme. Do my ears deceive? Was that an Arnie Parrott original? It wasn't actually. I know, I know. We'll get you his number. We'll get you his number, though, just for next time.

If you're thinking about doing a podcast and you kind of like, if you want like a theme, like don't worry, it doesn't have to be for this time. For this time, it's fine, but like, I have his number, just ask me for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Okay. Casey, congratulations. Thank you. I also want to plug if well I'm plugging things. I'd like to plug World News Tonight. You can watch World News Tonight at I.O. It's every Saturday night at 8 p.m. You can get tickets

on the I.O. website. But come out sometime in December maybe. I should be there at a lot of shows in December now that my leg is healed up. Hopefully I'm back on the stage. But yeah, come to see a World News Tonight Show if you are in Chicago. What else, what else? Oh, we can also read a review, a five-star review.

If you wanna get one featured on the show, just leave us a five-star review anywhere that you leave reviews. This one's coming from Keik, cake, hold on, cake, hold on for and it says sleepover. So Casey Tony came to a sleepover at my ex stepdad's house. He brought an armful of fireworks, but nothing to sleep in or on. He started yelling, Ronald Reagan was right and jammed five Roman candles in the ground then lit them before running through them like those agility courses for dogs.

He proceeded to chuck a gallon of Baja Blast, eat a bowl of Kakyo-e Bebe, and creep into bed with my ex-stepfather. Casey didn't even go under the blankets. He just curled under a ball at the foot of the bed. He didn't wake up for two days, and we started to become awfully concerned about his health. At hour 42, he popped up and said,

"'See you guys at Walmart,' and left, weirdest sleepover ever. I hope he's okay." Casey, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck? That sounds like Casey. That sounds like Casey. Casey. Casey.

Do you have anything to say for yourself? I'm not okay. Yeah, we knew. Ugh. We knew. We're sorry. Aaron, we should banish him somewhere. Jupiter, probably.

Yeah. And RIP to Alexander Lukashenko, the leader of Belarus. What? What a run. But yeah, passed away. Right page of however old he was. Well, in good news, I've already secured Prince Edward Island. I conquered it by myself. I'm here. So send the choppers. Created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nemouris Hey there, circuits and cities, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon.

We take you back to the first Black Friday. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at Patreon.com slash heyvirtlevirtle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your 7 day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus we've got those ad-free episodes. See you there! That was a HeadGum Podcast.