Hey Riddle Riddle - #339: We Bring The MOOB!

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

Your favorite Father & Son & Daughter.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm on my way to work, it's Friday! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Okay, so I thought that maybe we could like... And it's not...

We're not leeching off of anything else. Uh-huh. You know, we're being're being inspired certainly by other things But we're creating something for ourselves And it can't be Costco obviously That's covered. Mm-hmm. So is there like another store and it could be any store Just that the two of you could like agree on that we might that might be like that might have something there for us

So you're you want us to do like the Costco review guys thing? I don't want us to do anything. Like the dad and the son? I don't want us to do anything. But if we were going to do something. OK. And I guess I just have one big question from over here. From the Aaron camp, we have one sort of big question.

You're the kid on the dad? Well, that was actually gonna be my second question. Cause I would like, I would maybe like to be the dad. Okay, yeah, that's great. Also sometimes guys, the three of us play house, we all fight about who gets to be the baby, who gets to be the dad. Who gets to be Wilson.

Yes. The volleyball, right? Who gets to be Cuddy, Aaron always wants to be Cuddy. Maybe somebody else can be Cuddy for once. Who gets to be Cuddy? Aaron always wants to be Cuddy. Maybe somebody else can be Cuddy for once. Who gets to be Hugh Laurie? David Hill kind of likes that one. Yeah, Hugh Laurie, Cuddy, and Wilson, the three characters on the house.

What's your question? My question is, and this is absolutely no judgment, and I love everything we do. Oh, I love this. I love how this is not loaded. This is not loaded at all. Do we think that this is gonna be a relevant pop culture thing when? This episode comes out and I know we don't really care about that. We were making my wife jokes in 2019

Yeah, but like maybe we tell your mother we ate the pot Maybe you're telling your mother we ate the pie so I'm wondering but that's and this is just me wondering out loud This is not like sure. Yeah. OK, yeah. Yeah. Let's graph it. You guys want to do Hawk 2 again? Well, hold on. Hold on. I thought we said we're going to leave that in 2024. I think we review like Trader Joe's stuff. OK, I think so.

I think we do Costco guy. OK, but it's Trader Joe's stuff worth like stuff. Chocoblock full of tikka masala. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to us? Sweet potato loaded gnocchi. I had that last night.

It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. Advent calendar full of cat treats. They have that at Trader Joe's? Oh yeah. Whoa. Is that?

Oh, Aaron, please. Is that true? Oh yeah. I can't keep saying it's true. we oh Aaron, please is that true? Oh, yeah, I Can't keep saying it's true. It's true. Please. Why is no one believing me Casey? Can you just check and make sure Adel's telling the truth about this cat? I'm checking do cats have religion. Is that really that hard to believe? Well, hold on Advent calendars aren't religious, are they? Oh They're just little doors to tomorrow. Don't they stop on Christmas? advent calendars aren't religious Secondhand, heavily marked up. Secondhand? Jitly used. Jitly used advent calendar.

Casey, will you be the Jizzler? The Jizzler? Will I be the Jizzler? It's like the Rizzler, but. Oh, you don't need to tell me, buddy. Oh, you don't need to tell me. All right, you know what? Shut it down.

Shut it down. shut it down. No, JPC, we love your fun, cool idea. We love this idea. As soon as Casey got to be the Jizzler, which obviously was what I was angling for, we shut it all down. I'm sorry. No, we're just gonna do regular podcasts now.

It's just gonna be Hey, we're the Vertal on JPC, that's Addle, that's Erin, Casey will not be on Mike. Just stroke your beard, Jizzler. But we all had cool catchphrases that were like boom, but different. Oh yeah. I think it's worth exploring those. Mine was boo. Mine was ratatatatatatatat.

Mine was just like the opposite of boom, which is a cow going moooob. That's the opposite of boo. I know, but I don't like when you say it. Mooob. I don't like when you say it We should what if we say move its man overboard we don't want to fall what if cows added a bee What if cows all of a sudden just started adding a bit to see a seed? JPC you and Adel are cows in a field and yours is sort of it's business as usual just a regular Tuesday and Adel hears you add a bee to your moo and is a little concerned.

Graze, graze, graze. Good grass today. Good grass today, graze, graze, graze, graze. Kinda makes me wanna, this grass kinda hitting kinda make me wanna, merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Yeah, I don't think so. Mooooob. What is going on? You spent two weeks grazing in the valley up north and suddenly you have an accent? I don't do I have an accent. I mean, I don't kind of feels like I'm just I'm doing what feels natural.

What's next? Cats say meowb horses say naeb. They better fucking not. If I hear one horse say naeb, I'm knowing exactly where they got it. They got it from Scott. I think I can... Can I be honest with you?

Yeah. I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to stand out. I'm trying to have a thing. Why? Because all... What's any cow here's thing? Jake, what's your thing?

My thing is that in four months I'm gonna be marching down that abattoir straight to getting a pin in my forehead. Not me they promised me I'm milk. Oh boy. They promised me I'll do milk. Morning boys. Boys? Uh oh.

Hey buddys. Scott wanna go for a walk with me? Move over all you other cows, I'm going on a farmer walk. Steve. He became ground beef. I forgot my name myself, Scott. That's a famous sad story. Scott has a cow name absolutely perfect. As a cow name

specifically but a cow who thinks they're gonna be a milking cow but then they realize oh I'm a bull I'm going to die. Casey is still in the chat dropping review of Trader Joe's cat tree advent calendars. We'll go ahead and read this one. One out of five do not waste your money on this product. Very disappointing. Snacks are the same every day, just in different shapes and my cat won't touch them because they are big and hard as rocks.

I was commenting to my daughter that I was afraid that her cat might choke on them if she did try to eat them. And we looked on the box and it's small print and it's recommended that they be broken up into small pieces. How? With a chainsaw?

I wanna say something. I think this person doesn't have a cat. No, no, no, no, no. I think this person was eating my cat treats. I think they're dipping their toes into like fiction where they're like, how, with a chainsaw? Yeah. Let me sit back and wait for the likes to roll in.

I do think that people love to show their personality, maybe unwittingly in the reviews. And I know I only read five star reviews on the show, and that's all that you should look for, hey, Riddell, but one star reviews do truly tell you the most information, but never about the thing that they're reviewing. They just tell you about like,

cause you have to be pretty mad to write a one star review, right? No one just is like, offhandedly, yeah, they think about it like a week later and you're like, you know what? That was a one star experience. And reading like one star reviews of gas stations is so fun because it's like, you are so bothered

because everyone has to use a gas station and you really don't like, the only thing that people do is like, hey, I'm out of gas, I have to go. Or like, hey, what's the best price? But never will people read a review of a gas station and be like, yeah, it sounds like this guy had a really bad experience with a candy bar here. Maybe we don't, we're clear of this shell.

Are there any five star reviews of gas stations? I'm sure there's one. Yeah, I mean, because civilization is done. Uh, this is the, we are reached, Fukayama is the end of history. We, there is nothing left to do. There's nothing left to do, but like, enjoy your miserable existence and write five star reviews of gas stations.

It's funny to me of like, whenever people write reviews and complain about the bathroom of gas stations, where it's like, the only thing that's happening in those bathrooms is emergency shits. What do you, what do you expect? And everyone's part took in that. No one is innocent in this regard.

I wouldn't know what you're talking about. If you had a job, let's say thought experiment. You have a job and you're, the job is to clean up bathrooms after people take emergency shits. What do you think that job deserves to be paid? Because for me, it's like six figures minimum. Yeah, agree.

So if you're complaining that a bathroom at a gas station is disgusting, it's because that job that no one would do isn't being done because they're not paying someone to do it. Agreed. You guys, I'm reading some five-star reviews of gas stations and they're actually that kind of warming my heart oh

These are lovely Great gas pumped well or like what area how do you care? I'm gonna guess it yeah, are you in La though are you searching for gas stations in La? Yeah, because this is just a town of aspiring writers These are just people these are just the most insane deranged people on the planet trying to get their screenplay out there. It's like, exterior gas station night. Yeah, I was just about to say that. I was just about to say that.

Oh my God. Exterior gas station night. I walk in and hit the gas. We open on a 22 year old's perky tits. A very uncertain this person's real name type. I'd like to, there's a, I want to start a podcast that's just improv based on comment sections of different things.

If you guys want to be on it, you can, but you don't have to be. Absolutely. Let's make it a Patreon. I think, is that kind of what review review? Are we just doing review review? Oh yeah. We get it on that show. But they're ending. They're ending. But they're ending so we can take it.

We pick up the mantle I do want to recommend people so this advent calendar one out of five star review ended with Something something break up the treats in a small pieces how question mark with a chainsaw question mark I want to recommend people anytime you leave a review for anything from now on End it with how question mark with a chains question mark, no matter what the review is, no matter if it's good or bad, end it with how, a chainsaw? We're giving you one of those sweet, sweet hey, riddle, riddle challenges.

Send us a screenshot or tag us in a screenshot of a five-star review that you leave either a small business or a product online, and we wanna see it end with how? With a chainsaw? Fit it in naturally. Most natural, I'll send a sticker to someone who does the most natural work in Kinnivan. Your review has to end with those two parts,

how, with a chainsaw, but fit it in naturally. Fit it in naturally, work it in, work up to it. Can I read one of these reviews? Yes please, Erin. I stopped by to purchase our office pool lottery tickets. The Mini Mart is very clean and organized, but they do not carry many products. The cashier was very nice,

despite the many lottery ticket transactions I had for him to run through the machine, five stars. Wow. That's awesome because that's a person who maybe has never gone to a gas station for anything in their life and they're like, they're walking in and being like, this is what one of these is. Not many products.

What aisle is the rigatoni on? No rigatoni? I'll have to write something about that. A person who's only ever been- A five star review then for you. A person who's only ever been to a grocery store of walking into a gas station and being like, wow, I'm shocked at how little products they have here. Excuse me, sir, can you point me to the cat

advent calendar aisle? Where's the balsamic reduction? Don't have it. I'll be talking to the internet about this. They only sell single rolls of toilet paper. That hardly seems economically efficient. I would probably not purchase my toilet paper at this establishment.

What does BP stand for? Barely produce? I love it. Raspberry drink? I love it. All right. Are you guys ready to do some riddles? The show.

No. No. More reviews. More reviews. Oh, I'd love for you guys to review a riddle. Why don't I give it to you? By the way, my podcast is not reviews. It, I'd love for you guys to review a riddle. Why don't I give it to you and you can tell me how it starts. By the way, my podcast is not reviews. It's comment sections.

It's comment sections. It's YouTube videos. So it'd be like a YoYoMa YouTube video from 2006 and we just kind of dig into the comments. Can it be called First Exclamation Point? Yes. Yes, it can be, Addle. Yeah, it absolutely can be. Check it out.

Most of those comments are like, you know, people commenting on like a Coldplay song from 2006. And the comment just says, anyone in 2018 still head jamming to this song? And it's a bunch of upvotes by people who are also listening to that Coldplay song. Okay, so JPC found my comment about the scientist. It's a good song.

A rush of blood to the head is a good album It stands the test of time. It's about a breakup Okay, here we go. I'm a number. I am part of a number. I am an unknown number I am a kiss you do not feel I am an intersection I am third from the end. This is so easy. This is X. And in a math problem you're solving for X. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Erin, you're correct. This is the letter X. Wow. Smug little bug over here. Have you ever seen me look so smug on a riddle podcast? Erin, go ahead and open up door number four of your advent cat treat calendar. Here I go.

It's the biggest treat I've ever seen. How am I supposed to open this door with a chainsaw? Nice, okay, I'll send you a sticker in the mail, GBC. Erin, do you want to review that riddle? Yes. She's gonna get a great review because she solved it.

No, you don't know that. We don't know that. I thought this riddle would have more to it. Hm, OK. Five stars. There it is. Very good riddle. What about your next one?

Here it is. With or without my name, I am nothing. My first is the last, and my last is nothing. Prince. Actually, I can't believe it. I wasn't listening. Can you read it again? I am so sorry.

That's the first time I've ever fully missed a riddle. I did see you raise a can of something, jingle it a few times, which is always fun for the recording. We should say that Aaron's outside of CVS for Salvation Army as a Santa. What was it? What was the drink that we were drinking there, and we weren't paying attention to our homework? It was a can of Silly Sprink.

Silly Sprink. You've had to have a jury rig them so you could drink them, right? You have a little hack. Yeah, drink them. I don't know what I mean by that. I just have vac Kate into the joke. Neither do I. Oh, and then Addle, no jangle.

Jammin', what I have to assume is a La Cologne coffee drink? You better believe it. Damn, dude. Oh, good for you, Addle. Eagle eye. That's awesome. Fucking eagle eye over there. GPC, I am so sorry I missed the riddle.

Would you like me to try to guess anyway, or would you like to reread the riddle? I'm a big fan of guess anyway I think that they in the because eventually we all know on this show. I'm gonna reread the riddle, right? So you throw a couple of bullshit wild stabs and then you like GPC. Can you give us a hammer? Can you reread the yeah, you can do it that way. I'll do you have a guess garage puppets The moon garage puppets, the moon. Garage, puppets, the moon, the three standards. I would need to hear it again, I think.

With or without my name, I am nothing. My first is the last and my last is nothing. Zero. It's zero. Zero mustel. Yes, it is zero mustel. Are these bath riddles? Well, have you done math yet?

That's gotta be, if someone's asked, are these math riddles, my first question has to be, how much math have you done in solving these? Are they math-themed riddles? That's a great question. Motherfucker, fuck you. What does that mean? Fuck you.

What is a math, what is the? One is a zero and one was an X and it had a math little thing in it. I'm not an idiot. No, I guess that's the theme of these riddles is potentially math. I guess so. Last night I called myself the dumbest bitch in school

and I really feel like that today. Erin. I try not to talk about myself that way. Yeah. Can I be honest with you, last night, Aaron, I had a dream about you. Can I tell you what happened in it? Oh my God, did I die?

Did I live? Did I save the day? Don't spoil the ending, Aaron. Let's hear the full narrative of the dream. He dreamt about me. Aaron, I can't remember all the details, but I remember you, I think you were in the room with JPC and I, and you let us know, you were like, you acted like something really

bad had happened. Like you were like, are you guys ready? I have to tell you something like, don't be mad, like, et cetera, et cetera. Like really hemming and hawing before you dropped a bombshell on us. And we're like, JPC and I are looking at each other like what is this gonna be and it turned out that you had a you were pregnant with a with a human baby no thank God and you're gonna name it alibi and JPC and I were looking at each other trying not to laugh premonition or what why did you clarify human I'm sorry why did you clarify human his dreams are wild yeah it's a

dream Casey Casey. It's a dream, Casey. Yeah, Casey, I felt that too. I was like, would you all be so surprised if I told you I was pregnant and it turned out to be a human? In a dream. In a regular context, I would never even ask.

Can I say something? Yes. And I don't mean to be rude, and I know it's not 2025. Casey's got real fucking comfortable popping on mic. No, I love it. At all. We had this whole thing before we started recording

of Casey's microphone being too loud, and he took so long to fix it. I said, Casey, you don't need to fix it. It's not an issue. And now all of a sudden, he did fix it, and he's like, well, hey, since my microphone sounds fine, why don't I just pop on mic? Yeah.

And what sucks about this is Casey knows that if he gets more than 10 words on the show, we have to pay him union, right? Yeah. And so he just tries to sneak it in. Yeah. But now he'll never pop back in and we're gonna miss him. I don't know.

Casey, come back. Can I tell you something at all about that dream? Yeah. If, so normally if a friend told me they had a premonition dream about me being pregnant, I'd be like, oh fuck, am I pregnant? But guess what? And this is a little bit of an overshare,

but maybe it's relatable. But literally, 10 minutes ago, I felt myself get my period. So actually, we are in the clear. If everybody wants to go back to exactly 10 minutes ago, and I guess I'm at the year where I'm telling people when I'm getting my period. But if we want to go exactly, I think it like, yeah, about 10, 11 minutes ago, I went,

oh, and you know that feeling, if you're a person who gets their period, you go, oh. Kasey, can you pinpoint that moment and put like a bell chime like a ding? Yeah, put a bell chime put a bell chime and so guys that's what the bell chime was. Holy shit I'm actually i'm actually glad that i'm no i'm no mathematician here But could it have possibly been around the time when erin shook a sugar-free red ball and took a little sip out of it Could that have been to celebrate that of in the time? It was around that time.

Okay. I'm doing the content episode for this, or edit for this episode, so I will be sure, Erin, to put your little bell chime in exactly 10 or 11 minutes after you said that. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Well, before you said that.

Yes. Casey, can you pop on mic to make sure, so I can make sure you're not mad at me? Ah! Okay. Okay. that could mean anything Adel you trying to sort of like come after Casey it was really sweet it's like watching a little kid swear watching Adel try to be mean I don't want to get too far away from it I don't want to get too far away from it yeah

Erin how do you feel about the baby named alibi gender-neutral um I actually think it's quite lovely. Yeah. Okay. I don't hate it. I would use it. Alibi. All right, we like this. Oh no, I heard a name the other day and I was gonna put it in my baby name list

and now I forget what it was. Lucius. Ah, no, fuck. See, this is why you always put the name in the list. Did you say Cruella? Yeah, why not? Take it back. Let's do.

Take it back. Let's do. What about having a nice baby named Cruella? Okay, here we go. I bring you music, I bring you salt, I bring you goodbyes. The ocean. Hmm, more than I thought.

The sound of the ocean. Like you listen to a shell. You almost said it. You put a shell up. Sound. Sound. No, you started to say a word and then you kind of lost the ending of it. You put a shell up. You almost said it. Sound. Sound. No, you started to say a word and then you kind of lost the ending of it.

I know. Can you repeat it again? I bring you music, I bring you salt, I bring you goodbyes. Tears. You're so close. No, it's not tears. Salt.

Adel, you were, oh, you had it! You were so close with ocean. Keep going on ocean. Ocean, seas, water, the beach, salt water. Addle you you were oh you had it you were so close with ocean keep going on ocean ocean seas Water yeah the beach Water stay with water stay with water water ocean water waves I do want to see a Aaron, you are a mermaid. Um...

JPC is like on the shore of the ocean, kind of like just walking along. And you are in the ocean trying to flirt with him as he's walking along as a mermaid. But the ocean is just absolutely pounding your ass. Ha ha ha. Ah, Yoohoo! Hello? Is there someone there? I was having a tranquil morning walk. Hmm, someone's here. Ah! Whoa! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

Oh my god, ma'am! Oh my god, oh my god! Stay, stay! I'll help! I'm not a strong swimmer, but I'll help! No, no, please! I live in the water if you could... Oh my goodness! Help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, of a fish or a sea creature of some sort. She's both graceful and incredibly not. Hello, if you come in here for a tranquil swim, I could perhaps give you a kid? There's a... Oh, look out for that buoy.

Ow! Oh, it knocked the wind out of me. There's a wind advisory today. It's very, it's very rough water. Oh, I have a... There's a bay. I'm seas a bay there's a bay like a little ways down if you could if you could make it to the bay that's it's it's calmer in

there yeah I don't look as majestic in the bay you I'm sorry but you don't look you don't look it just go under the hold on hold on hey sure sure sure oh no please no not now I I just swallowed so much feed. Oww! Oww! He's got a little sash on it. Does he work for you? It looks like he's trying to help.

I know he's trying to help, but it's not working. Oww! Scene. Well, I have a new favorite scene of all time. I scared my dog. I hope it's worth it. It should be. It will be, and it shall be. I walk across the fields at night

and scatter pearls from my cool cup. They twinkle in the moon's soft light. Then morning comes and drinks them up. Whoa, is that a poem you wrote? Dew drops. Erin, it's dew drops. Hmm. Yes, is that a Pomi rope? Dew drops. Erin, it's dew drops. Hmm. Yes, it is.

Wow. Morning dew drops. Turns out I was a riddle genius the whole time. What a twist. You're killin' it. You're killin' it, baby. Erin orders one Baja blast from DoorDash and suddenly she knows dew drops. That was two months ago.

And they sent me a regular Mountain Dew, need I remind you. That was a Patreon thing, people will remember that. Great, now we'll just have to go and release that Patreon episode so everyone can know that Aaron ordered the wrong Mountain Dew. Okay. We tell the world that you were here. Sometimes we're hard to see.

Sometimes we're clear. We show your touch both weak and strong. And you may curse these lines if you did wrong. Was it your obituary? Wow. So close. But no, not really close, but I love that. I do love that as an answer.

Headstone, gravestone. Headstone, gravestone. What's the difference? Hmm. I don't know. Culture. Different cultures. I guess we're not going to get into that. Headstone, gravestone. What's the difference? Hmm, hmm, I don't know. Culture.

Different cultures. I guess where they put it, if they put it where your head's at or where your feet's at. I want a footstone. I want it right above my tit line. So people can go, nice, cool. Erin, you have a new song, a la Robin Thicke,

called Titline, right? Did you wanna sing it now? Titline! I don't know what is, what is a titline? What do I mean? It's a titline. Remember that music video? That music video came out when I was living in Australia,

and I remember being on a treadmill in Australia and being like, huh, we're still making music videos like this. What happened? What happened? I'm just shocked we're still making music videos. I don't remember the music video. Was there something to it that, was it like very sexy?

Yeah, it was like very like a guy in a suit surrounded by naked ladies objectifying me, and I was like, ugh. I think it was, I think she may have been famous beforehand, but I think it was the sort of launching pad for Emily Radajowski? I don't remember that, interesting. Congratulations to everyone involved in Robin Thicke's song

or whatever we're talking about. Or whatever we're talking about. Is there, do you think there's a specific reason that they put the gravestone over people's heads? I guess, could you get buried backwards? Could you go feet first and put the headstone by the feet? KPC, just ask. Just ask. How do you want to be buried?

Just tell us and we'll do it. I want to do sideways. I know it's going to be more money because I'm going to have to take more plots, but I want to do sideways. You are fucking maroon. I thought you meant I'm going to have to take more plots, but I want to do sideways. I thought you meant like on your side, inside of the... No, that wouldn't be bad. No, I want to be standing up. So it's going to have to be, let's see, I'm almost,

I'm like 5'11", so, and you have to do six feet down. So instead of doing a six foot grave, it's going to be a 12 foot grave, which is going to get pretty hard to dig, but it's going to be a 12 foot grave, but it'll be like pretty thin, right? So it's just like, I just wanna shoot down like a torpedo. Nope, it has to be a functioning missile silo

because at the right time, my descendants will be able to shoot me into the sky. I think you should be in like a clear, like a clear casket, a la Lennon, where it's like you're preserved and everyone can kind of see you preserved. Yeah, yeah. And then you're shot and everyone can kind of see you preserved. Yeah, yeah. And then you're shot into space or something.

Yeah, exactly. I wanna swap me and my headstone. I wanna bury the headstone and put me where the headstone would go and see how long it takes people to notice. Adel, can I- Quite, pretty quick. Yeah, can I be honest with you?

I am less likely to visit you, if that is the case. I'm very likely to visit you. Are you, okay, this is gonna sound indelicate, because in a way it is, but I'm envisioning roughly the same size as like a standard gravestone. We cut you to shape. But with your body just kinda smushed into like. I look like a, you know when they cut the strings

on like a. Marionette. Marionette. Yeah. Like I'm... Yeah. Because you'll be dead. We can break some bones to get you in there all, you know, smushed in. Guys, can I ask a question that's kind of sad?

Yeah. And I actually kind of know the answer to this. What order do you think we're going to die in? Addle, Aaron, JPC. No, I think it might be me. Poetry, this is what poetry is. Me, Addle, JPC. And JPC gets 20 extra years.

This is crazy, I'm going JPC, Addle, Erin. Well, why? Don't the women live longer? But think about what kind of woman I am. Yeah. Bird bones. Yeah. Bird bones. Getting her period on, Mike. That's not a, that can't be a sign of longevity.

Yes, that is a sign of the end of the world for sure. I, that makes me very sad. Can we, at some point, oh, this is, I'll do this on the Patreon. We're gonna have a funeral for each of us. Sure. Okay. So we all get to go to each other's funerals because it'll make me really, really sad

if you guys can't go to mine, and I'd get really bad FOMO if I die before getting to go to yours. That makes sense. I put on absolutely raging at JPC's party. I'm going to get so drunk, I'm gonna have a party, we're gonna celebrate. I think you correctly identified so drunk I'm gonna have party, we're gonna celebrate. I think you correctly identified it as a celebration when I die.

It's kind of like it's kind of like when the Ewoks took indoor you know. Yeah. A lot of this happened but pretty good result. Remember the beginning of the Wizard of Oz? When they go ding dong the witch is dead sort of like that. Yeah and that's fine if it's a party that's. I'm down for that. Wait, is there a way to- You can't come, you're dead. You can't come, you're dead, unless now. No.

I won't be at the party, but I will be shot into the sky as a rocket above the party. Erin, I guarantee you. You're like, whoa, the fireworks. And then they're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. It tastes like human remains.

Erin, I guarantee you, if JPC, heaven forbid, if JPC goes first, I guarantee you, Aaron, you and I are at the funeral. We're very sad. We're going through our next cards, the speeches we're gonna give. As we're grabbing shrimp or whatever from the little food truck there. There will be shrimp.

If Mariah's in charge of planning, there's gonna be shrimp. Thank you, Mariah. Incredible. We see a guy at the corner of our eye who's just sort of lingering on the periphery, looks just like JPC but with a big fake twirling mustache and like a top hat or something and it's him and he's like pulled a little ruse on us, right?

Am I crazy? Oh yeah, I'll huck Finn my shit hard. Huck Finn you up. Casey, don't clip that. No. You know what? Fuck it. Let's go to ads. Casey clip it. Let's do ads.

Casey clip it. Let's do ads. 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP.

RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. RIP to RIP. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Addle, hey Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you.

Oh bones, the bones are back, the bone picking is back. Yes. The bones are back in ads, the bones are back. The bone picking is back. Yes. The bones are back in heads. The bones are back in heads. Wow. And Casey, can we clear that? Just check that we can clear that. Yeah, I got a bone to pick with the two of you.

You know how I was telling you guys that I had emotional issues that I needed to discuss with someone, and YouTube jokers told me to go down to the flour yeast salt shop put all those ingredients together and that would kind of like help me through my emotional issues. Batter help? What are you trying to... It's not quite batter. What are Kelp? Oh it's wet quite batter. Like, wetter kelp?

No, it's wetter kelp. Thank you! No, JPC, we wanted you to go to better help. This makes much more sense. Yeah, JPC, in 2025, maybe you're ready for a plot twist, or maybe there's a part of your story you've been wanting to advise. That's where betterHelp can help. It's fully online, making therapy affordable, convenient, and serving over 5 million people worldwide.

Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties and easily switch therapists anytime with no extra cause. I've been using BetterHelp for many, many years. It is how my brain works. I like being able to send a message to my counselor as I'm experiencing something, and it just works great for my mental health. So if you're feeling kind of stuck in the rut,

or you wanna start this new year off with a big bang, go to BetterHelp. And I would say anyone out there who had the idea for BetterHelp should absolutely use this service. Okay, it was kind of my idea. Well, write your own story with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. And don't forget to melt a piece of butter on it. Wait, hold on. That's the other one.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Hey guys, do you like my cowboy hat, cowboy boots, cowboy everything? Yeehaw! Well, Erin, your belt is a rattlesnake. Oh my god, what? I just came from Squarespace. It's a square dancing class. Oh, Squarespace is a square dancing class. Erin, you've done it again. Squarespace is not a square dancing class. Oh, Aaron, you've done it again. Squarespace is not a square dancing class. It is an all-in-one website builder.

But you could build a website on Squarespace to sort of promote your square dancing site. Okay, the rattlesnake is looking at me in the eye. Do I look at it? Do I look away? Do I look at it? Do I look away? Well, stop looking at your belt.

The big problem is you looking directly at your belt. At it or away. Erin, I don't know where you should be looking, but I do know that Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place with Squarespace. Onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, ACH Direct Debit, Apple Pay, Afterpay in the US and Canada,

and Clearpay in the UK. You can also sell content. Squarespace makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites, like online courses, blogs, videos, memberships. Earn reoccurring revenue by gating your content behind a paywall. Simply set the price and choose whether to charge a one-time fee or a subscription for access. Aaron's grabbing the snake's jaw and making it mouth words that she says.

That is wild, almost as wild as the fact that Squarespace allows you to connect to social and multimedia accounts. Connect major social media and multimedia accounts to your website in a few clicks as icons, direct links, or embedded feeds. Look if you're out there and you think I have a great idea for a website and I just want to get it off the ground, maybe Squarespace is the choice for you.

The first step though, do examine have I been bit by a venomous snake multiple times because maybe the website idea you have is not very good, it's a hallucination from being bit by a venomous snake, maybe it's a winner, like Aaron's Square dancing website or whatever. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. The rattlesnake and I are headed to go get nachos.

Y'all want to come with? A yeehaw. Texas yes. Can I get a yeehaw? A yeehaw. It bit me. Oh. Can I get a yeehaw? Can I get a yeehaw? Yeehaw! It bit me! Hey!

RIP TO BIT KC, please keep talking on this episode. I have to deliberately not just to make you squirm. Okay, we're back. Some people, I think some people get like bummed out when you talk about death. I don't. Like, I don't, I don't mind like, be like, yeah, because, you know, everybody dies, like everybody lives.

It's part of it's a part of life. I feel very chill about my own death. And if I die, please, like everybody just calm down. I'm fine with it. I'm really okay. But I don't love, and this is gonna sound crazy. I'm the first person to ever say this, I don't love the idea of my loved ones dying.

That actually, I don't love that. Interesting, why? You know, I don't know, I've never thought about it. It just feels convicky. Feels icky if your loved ones die. Huh, okay. KBC, you don't know a lot of those words, I'm sorry. This might go a little over your head.

It's like we're speaking in French to me. I'm like so lost. I'm like what the fuck is going on? Okay, now we're talking now we're talking my language French language to the people here we go We tell the world that you were here sometimes were hard to see sometimes were clear We show your touch both weak and strong and you may curse these longs if you did these longs, these lines, if you did wrong. Okay, what are lines who would curse, Erin? Cocaine. Mm-hmm.

Fuck, this is good cocaine. Yeah. Apple Store lines. Mm-hmm. Disneyland lines. Oh, absolutely. For which ride? What la-

Space Pirates. Rise of the Resistance. Oh, Rise of the Resistance, private ride. You're very rarely in line for that, because unless you, every time I've gone up, paid the extra $25, which is insane, but I'm not waiting in a three hour long line. No, no, yeah, well some people are,

because the lines are theirs. Yeah. Yeah. But I can't, I just don hour long line. No, no, yeah. Well, some people are, because the lines are hours. Yeah. Yeah. But I can't, I just don't, I, and this is gonna sound so crazy, I don't love lines. I wanna see a scene. Interesting.

We're learning so much about Erin Adel, isn't this wonderful? Yeah. Well, I'm banking all this for her funeral. I do wanna see a scene. The two of you are two separate solo attendees at Disney World, and you just happen to be next to each other in line for Rise of the Resistance.

Yeah, it's a long, yeah, I saw it's two hours today, which is crazy. Whoa, worth it though. Have you been on the ride? A bunch of times, yeah. They only let you do it once a day, so. That's crazy. Yeah, you can pay $25 and then it's like 20 minutes, but you know that's just, you know, that's a whole thing, that's a whole scam. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're um, that's so crazy, I feel

like every time I'm here I see you waiting in line. But I've never seen you like eating food or like on a ride. This is a camelback. Oh, cool, cool, cool. My backpack's a camelback. I fill it with oatmeal from home. Huh. So I don't do any of the park food because that's a whole scam.

So I just do, I just drink the oatmeal through the camelback. Ruins the camelback. Yeah. It's also like all over your face. They haven't designed them yet for oatmeal. I don't think they ever will. Yeah. Yeah!

Huh. Leaving money on the fucking table is all a scam. Yeah, so you see me here, huh? Yeah, just... You don't come to Disneyland to just wait in lines. You're not like a line guy. You're not one of those line guys. They only let you ride the ride once a day, but they don't have a rule that says you can't get

back in line. So you can get in line as many times as you want, but when you get to the part where they let you get on the ride, they will stop you if you've already been on the ride. And the ride, the line is just- There's a little bit of oatmeal dribbling out of your mouth. Can you get it? Oh, sorry. I you if you've already been on the ride. And the ride, the line at Disney... There's a little bit of oatmeal dribbling out of your mouth. Can you get it? Oh, sorry, I wasn't swallowing because I was talking. But I was sucking because I don't usually talk to people. The line at Disney is actually part of the ride.

Like, the ride starts when you get in line. So people say, like, that's a two hour line. But I'm actually on the ride for two hours. Oh, dear. From this point on, the wait a two hour line. But I'm actually on the ride for two hours. Oh dear. From this point on, the wait is one hour, 57 minutes. Sorry, this is my wife. You must have charmed, I'm sure. Same.

Sorry, Addle. That sucks. Sometimes improv is just being mean to your friends. Yeah. And we cut back into the scene and air in your on rise of the resistance, and it's absolutely pounding your ass. Whoa! Ow!

Why? Oh, I'm bleeding. Hey, baby, why don't you ditch the zero and get with a hero? Oatmeal from a cable bag? This is me talking to the wife. Safe. And we go back into the scene.

I'm just kidding. Go back into the scene. I have a quick question. Have we ever? Oh, is it what is Disney hookup culture like? Because I've always wanted to know. I think, oh, I think they're fucking... Like the employees? Like employees? No, I don't think about employees. Those face characters, all those people who look like Disney princes and princesses. I think, are there single people

going to Disney and then getting right on those apps and then just getting on the Tinder and saying like, who's at Disney trying to fuck? Like, who's who's the only one way to find out? Is there like a Disney Tinder where it's like it only works when you're in the park and it connects you with people in the park? Is that a thing? Didn't that has to be a thing? Disney. Oh, my God, Goofy's into some weird fucking shit.

And he listed all of it. It's Goofy at Machu Picchu. And then you swipe and it's like Goofy, like with like a tiger or something. Yeah, you's profile. It's goofy at Machu Picchu, and then you swipe, and it's like goofy with a tiger or something. Yeah. You match with someone, but then they're in Magic Kingdom, and you didn't have Park Hopper, and you're like, fuck! What park are you going to tomorrow? Let's try to...

But I'm not saying I wouldn't say that people are trying to fuck at the park, because those parks are just too full of people. But there's hotels all over the place, too. So I'm wondering, if you've ever hooked up with a stranger at Disney, I wanna know about it. Let us know in the comments. Over the summer when I was on some dating apps,

a guy asked me on a first date at Disneyland. He said, let's go to Disney as a first date? Yeah. Okay. And I went, no, because I was like, what if you're horrible? Yeah. And then what the fuck do I go like, what if you're horrible? Yeah. And then what the fuck do I go like, can we sort of do our own thing? Did he ask to, did he say I'll pay like all he didn't do that either.

And I was like, that I would be like, that's kind of fucking cool. Hey, we just met. Do you want to spend $238 tomorrow? Yeah. And then I was like, and also like, I'm not going to Disney for an hour. But that's a full day event. That's so expensive. Yeah. I guess that's kind of a baller move if you're offering to pay because, and also if you're like, hey, let's go to Disney. I'm rich. Let's go to Disney. If we don't vibe, you're at Disney, have a fun day. But if we do vibe, we can like hang out at Disney.

If he had given me that out of like, what if I will pay for you to get into Disney, and I would love to take you out to lunch there, and if you wanna keep hanging out the rest of the day, if we can, if not, you're loose in Disney. And then I would have probably said yes, but it seemed like I was gonna pay, and it seemed like we were gonna spend 12 hours together. I would love if it was like, you said yes,

and he's like, meet me right inside the park, I'll be wearing a red rose or something, and you walk yes, and he's like, meet me right inside the park, I'll be wearing a red rose or something, and you walk in and it's like Mickey in full suit with a red rose, it's like, hey, I set my age range for 22 to 24. You look a little older. You're just like your picture. Where are you going?

Going Kylo Ren's wearing a rose, and I'm like, not again. Ah! Ah! Ah! We always end up with the bad guy. All right. I was thinking that Disney move would be very cool,

but you'd have to be rich. And then I was like, well, if you're rich, you really don't need to have moves like that. You can just be like, hey, I'm rich. I'm rich. Let's fly to Paris. Why don't we do whatever I wanna do? I'm rich.

If I went on a date with a rich guy I'm trying there might be other things I would rather Experience and do I don't know if I'd rather go to a fancy meal What would you want if a rich person took you out on a first date and was paying for it? What would you want the experience to be? Am I in LA you can be in any city. I think I think I Think it's kind of like, I want like some sort of like boat ride. Like I want to be on like a really nice yacht or like,

you know, it doesn't have to be a yacht, but whatever like nice ship they have. Now, that's risky. That's how I know you weren't living as a woman because immediately to me, I'm like, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder. I want to go to like a sharper image

and just like hold up stuff and go, can you afford this? Can you afford this? What about this? How about this? Yeah. I would want, I just had a thought if a rich person took me on a date and took me to a Broadway show.

Cause that shit's crazy expensive. Yeah, that's expensive. That's a good one. And that's sort of the same as going to a movie. Like you can go and have a drink after and talk about it. Yes, it is. Yeah. What's her name? I almost said Bobbit, but that's a different person.

There's a woman who went to Beetlejuice and got real handsy. Oh, Lauren Boebert. Boebert. Yeah. Good for her. Live life as a hypocrite. That's the way to go.

Live moss. Live moss. Absolutely live moss. Get and give hand stuff at Beetlejuice the musical tour. That's what I always say. Give and receive hand stuff. Please put that on like a TV wooden sign and sell it at like a Marshalls of the Hungrys. You don't have to ask me twice. Now, JPC, this is something that's invisible, but shows our strength or something. We tell the world that you were here.

Sometimes we're hard to see, sometimes we're clear. We show your touch, both weak and strong, and you may curse these lines if you did wrong. Can we get a little hint? Okay. Let's see. Is this something that you would, that would happen posthumously, like? Not necessarily. Okay.

But everyone has this. We tell the world that you were here, and that applies to like pretty much anyone in the world your name DNA Bone, it's not DNA, but that's you're on the right track and Aaron. It's more unique than just your name soul Fingerprint Aaron. It's a finger print Yes Adel you said Prince as an answer earlier and I was like I when you asked for a hint I was I was like, I don't think that you remember saying Prince.

Prince. But it was weirdly apropos of a future rental. Very close. Can I see a scene? Yes. You were two guys reviewing a crime scene and you're finding that someone, the criminal left something behind

that's a little bit more unusual than fingerprints. All right, Todd, let's review this crime scene. I'm gonna give it a two out of 10. Very sloppy, a lot of brain, a lot of viscera. Yes. Seemingly the killer didn't know what they were doing. And also just out of frustration as detectives. Yeah.

Really annoying that they didn't leave behind more evidence. No follicles of hair, no weapons, anything like that. So I'm gonna go two out of 10, how with a chainsaw. Two out of 10? Okay, how with a chainsaw? Yeah, I, okay, two out of 10. I was gonna give it one out of five, which I think fraction-wise kind of works.

I didn't know we were doing 10, but I'm the rookie, so. Yeah, I would say like, it sucks too, because it's like, you come to our crime scene, and what do you want, like evidence? Evidence. Whoa, I'm not dead. They're not dead. Ah! Scene.

Scene. Oh, 10 years of improv experience and I am, oh brother. The black tarp over your body flies off and you sit up. I'm not dead. Is it a black tarp, white tarp? I'm trying to think of in TV shows. I mean, typically they're not there, but when they are, there's some sort of tarp or blanket over them, right?

You gotta throw a blanket over there, but do you want white? Gonna be way harder to clean. But is this a reusable blanket? Yeah. Last night I saw, you guys know her, the great comedian Stevie Shale. Oh yeah.

And she sneezed and it scared the bejesus out of me. You know when babies start screaming and crying when someone sneezes because the sound startles them? She sneezed so loud, I got genuinely terrified. And then we laughed really hard. I was like, whoa! Whoa! I was driving a couple weeks ago

and I heard a person sneeze in a separate car. Whoa! And my windows were up. Holy shit. They were stopped next to me at a stoplight. And I was listening to a podcast. I thought you were like, and I was listening to try to hear his car.

I had my windows down and I was like staring at them, like daggers at them. And there are people honking behind me because I'm not moving. I would actually like to see a scene. Adel, you're minding your business and traffic in your car and you look over, you can tell that JPC is Trying to eavesdrop on whatever you've got going on

Didn't take the 94 that seems a little long What is this guy doing? Always roll down motioning to me Okay, hey, hey, hi is there something something stuck to a tire don't talk to me me. Roll down your window. What does this guy want? You! Yeah, you! Hey, hey, hi! Is there something stuck to a tire? Don't talk to me! I don't want to talk to you, man!

Keep going! Okay, roll down my window here. No, no, no, no! What's this thing about? Roll down your window. What does this fucker want? Um, let me call my sister real quick. Dude, roll down your roll down your window. Hey Jessica. Hey, how are you? Hey if I don't call you back in two minutes

I need you to get on the 94 immediately and look for me cuz what's going on? Oh, I love you and I love you, too. Just too, just stay on the phone with me, stay on the phone with me. I can't, I have to go. He's ordering forks? What the fuck? Okay, uh, hey, hey. What was that? Hey, what's going on buddy?

I love your vibe! Oh, okay. I love your look! Are you being sarcastic? No! A fud- I want to hear about your life life but not from you to me! I want to experience it like a movie!

Oh, okay. I want to watch your life movie! Hey, I don't want this anymore, so I'm gonna stop. Okay. I wish I could drive off, but we're in bumper to bumper, so- Fuck me. Fuck me, I guess. Take care, man. Take care.

Doesn't matter what I want. You exist in society. Hey, Jessie. It's not you on an island. You're here with other people. Hi, I've been trying to call you back. What's going on? Are you okay?

Um, I've made peace with it. I am gonna die. I'm gonna die in the next minute or two. What are you talking about? I love you so much. No, you're not. My whole world is up to you and Mark. I hope you two.

I don't even care who that is on the phone I don't family and who is yelling? I hope you don't even care who that is on the phone I don't hope you have a beautiful human, baby. Who is yelling is that who is that? My destiny Destiny oh Your favorite what? Streamer is that what destiny does no dream no one else we can't know we can't know But congratulations hungry

But more riddles and also food case you go ahead and put in another building because Aaron just had a second period has just hit me. A second period! That's just too darn... You know what, it does kind of feel like that. You know what I found out this year? How would I know that? I know, that's a good- I hate when people ask questions like this! I know, I'm sorry. But my OBGYN this year, and I was like, why don't they teach people anything about our bodies? I don't know anything about how it works. But you get cold symptoms or allergy symptoms

when you're on your period. And I went, that makes the most sense ever. Why do I always just feel like I get a cold once a month, but really you just get, it's like your, the hormones in your body are doing this thing. And I was like, I'm 33. And I'm in finding this out. Isn't that wild? That is wild. I have so much to learn. It is it is. Well, I mean, like doctors have a very specialized

you know, set of skills. They go to school for a long time. They have to stay, you know, current, they have stay current, they have to keep doing continued education. But it is very funny when a doctor casually drops a thing and you're like, I guess you are just this arbiter of this hidden knowledge. Yeah. That's a very useful thing for life. I guess I could read a single book, but.

Well, pick up Bill Bryson's, I wanna say it's called the body and you're gonna learn a whole lot of shit Aaron that's gonna freak you out I don't want to know the one thing that I would love to know is where the poop comes out because for me it's not absolute guessing game PC meet mute JPC forever and nine times out of, I get it completely wrong. Mm. That's why pencils made erasers.

All right, here we go. We can bleep it. We can bleep it. Pencils did not make erasers. Pencils don't make anything. That's right, pencils make erasers. No. Pencils don't make anything.

Pencils make nothing. Or maybe drawings, but even that. That's why pencils make erasers. Here we go. Your next riddle. That's what pencils make erasers. Here we go, your next riddle. That's what pencils make erasers. I am where loud beasts rest a while, ticking to themselves as though remembering their journeys.

Some beasts tag their spot with warm fluids. Dominant beasts mark their territories. Dead beasts are dragged away by big beasts. I don't know where they go, but some of them come back to life. I don't know. Is this like Maurice Sendak's obituary? What's she... Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

the big beasts drag away the little beasts. The full spectrum of human emotion. She's getting her period, she's getting hungry now, she's a little sleepy. Now I'm falling in love. She's sneezing, she her period, she's getting hungry now, she's a little sleepy. Now I'm falling in love. She's sneezing, she's bleeding, she's hungry, she's thirsty. I love this take on, she's sneezing, she's bleeding,

she's hungry, she's thirsty. There's the personification of the seasons. She's just like every 10 minutes. That's beautiful, that's poetry, thanks buddy. That's really lovely, you can say that at my funeral if you make it. We're all seasons. Erin, have you ever seen Grease 2? No! Why would I? I love myself.

Fair enough. All good information. I am where loud beasts rest a while, ticking to themselves as though remembering their journeys. Okay, sorry real quick you're saying ticking to themselves? Ticking. T-I-C-K-I-N-G. So what beasts are ticking? Unless they're like wind up? Is this something that's alive or not? No. It's not alive. Some beasts tag their spot with warm fluids. Dominant beasts mark their territory. Piss tree. Is it a piss tree? It's not a piss It's not a piss tree that's I felt do I do I stop the show for that? Yeah, I do I want to see a scene Erin you're gonna do the giving tree. It's the giving tree, but we did this recently

But the only thing this tree is giving I don't look I know But the only thing that this tree is giving is like piss. Cool. And add a year with the tree, of course. Oh, you're home. Oh, it's been what, 22 years? Don't, don't start. Wow. I missed you. Don't, don't do this. Let's not do this whole song and dance. You want to pull on my branches or swing from the tire? No, no. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

You would like that, wouldn't you? Absolutely not. How about some piss? Ah, oh God. Get a little higher? No. Hit you in the shoulder? No, no. Hey. Whoops.

Hey, we did this once and it was awesome, okay? We're not gonna do this again, I'm married. It doesn't matter, this isn't cheating. I'm married piss on me Okay, just a little bit No one's looking. Oh, hey, I'll keep look. I'll keep look out Said that last time and my marriage almost fell apart. You said that last time in my marriage Almost fell apart is Greg? Bring Greg over here. I'm gonna beat his fucking ass with my branches.

You can't, you're a tree. You don't think I can swing my branches? No, people have to swing from your branches. Well, I'll fucking fall on him, okay? No, you won't. I have a nest of timber rattlers inside me right now. I'm gonna go, okay? Don't.

Wait, don't. More piss Don't wait don't more piss wait Please more piss no. It's the only thing that keeps me alive. I didn't want to tell you Hey, Katie dinners almost ready. Hey, Katie dinners almost ready. Oh See you talking to the neighbor boy in the tree again Jesus Gotta go up there Ooh, bad fall! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Tell your parents we said hello, Dennis.

Sweet. Beep-a-beep-a-boop-a-beep-a-booo. The beasts are not alive. These are not alive beasts. Beasts is, um... What's something that gives off liquid that's not alive? Dead beasts are dragged away by big beasts I don't know where they go cars. It's cars. It's cars tow trucks

But this is not cars is not the answer Cars to we're looking for I am word loud beasts dressed a while. Oh I am wordloudbeast rest awhile. Oh, a, a, a, a, a scrap yard. A parking lot. It's a parking lot. Oh, okay. It's a parking lot, scrap yard! Mater.

I think would work. Very good, Erin. Mater. Mater from cars. Very good, Erin. Yes, from cars. Is that Larry the Cable Truck? Yes.

Larry the Cable Car. Oh, that's fun. Ding ding ding. Whoa, how to save a life. Step one, say, say, say. Oh, you guys, my body's really falling apart. All right. Erin, describe it.

Well. No. No. Please, no, please. All the things that can happen are happening and I kind of want to just be in the bath. But that's OK. I'm actually really happy to be here. It's actually OK.

I'm just really happy to be here. A lot of people say that the sonic experience of listening to our show is akin to being in a bath. It's like being in a sound bath. A bath full of acid. Yeah. A bath full of annoying voices and piss. Hey, speaking of annoying voices,

oh, terrible segue, didn't really want to do it this way. Casey, do we have a voicemail theme? Oh, with 300 episodes stowed away, I wish we hadn't more riddies now You can call it a five riddle one to try to send a rindle we haven't done Goddamn you all you've been told we've been running out of ready since the ninth episode We're up for daddy and we'll make pigs come With a white fuller riddle of the dude I don't we ate my whole for a picnic lunch. I was a part of it. I got a line.

Wow. You got a line. That's one of my favorite sea shanties too. Incredible. Thank you. I'm glad I said that thing about the annoying voice because now I can pivot to saying that the annoying voice was Erin and that your voice was beautiful. Oh, a good save.

Yes. Yes. Okay. So that came from Dan from Warwick in the UK. Never would have known, never would have guessed UK. A perfect mimic, thank you, Dan. I think that's also a Canadian sea shanty if I do know my history, but I don't know much.

But I know we love you, Dan. And if you want us to love you as well, you can send us a voicemail theme under 30 seconds or around 30 seconds. No, exactly 30 seconds or under. That's exactly what I wanted to say to HRRpodcast.gmail.com. And we also have a voicemail. Hey, hey, Riddle Riddle. This is a voicemail for the podcast, Fill Buds. I'm

listening to the episode about autobiography right now and I just wanted to let you know in Kansas City, Missouri, some of our shopping carts have the auto lock on them but our Costco does not and the park six blocks up from the Costco is slowly filling with shopping carts from the Costco. They're about 15. Love the podcast. Okay. You messaged the wrong podcast.

That's okay. That's okay. Because the shopping cart thing is certainly interesting. Well, does BillBuds have a voicemail because maybe this person's just trying to find any channel to get to you guys. Yeah, maybe they just really wanna talk about the shopping cart thing.

The auto lock on the shopping cart thing. I think so. I think so. Now whose album is Biography? I believe that's Ashley Simpson. I believe that's an Ashley Simpson album, if memory serves. And should we go ahead and review it right now?

Are you guys familiar with it? Pieces, pieces. Yeah, Erin does it. memory serves and should we go ahead and like review it right... now or. I guess. Pieces Pieces Pieces of me I got a question so that caller... they said that. Someone is that there are just shopping carts like that... don't have that you know auto lock when you leave the... parking lot that are just filling up a local park do you... think that Costco employees like a shopping cart wrangler? Like a person who's like, I'll cut down your shopping carts for you.

Well, Butler does my shopping, so I don't know what even a shopping cart is. That makes sense, yeah. Could you context clues, Erin? Ow! You're right, sorry. Sorry to make you do that. I, I also I was going to the grocery store the other week and it was a grocery store that I'm I was like in a different neighborhood but I was like, oh, there's a grocery store right here. So it's not like one that I normally

go to. And as I was walking in, most places grocery or most stores have like clear doors that are entrance doors and exit doors. Because of like, you know, a managing crowds and be like security. And the guy was pushing a shopping cart out of an exit doors, an empty shopping cart. No, I'm sorry. It had his bags in it, but there was like two bags and he was there with his wife and he was pushing it out the entrance door and the shopping cart, of course locked because he was like pushing it out the wrong door.

And he tried to push it hard again and it didn't work. And then he just went, oh, and he threw up his hands and he grabbed his bags and walked out and just left the shopping cart there And I was like it was so funny because it happened in a moment But it was also this man being like I'm in the right this who is a simple machine. This is in the wrong Obviously, it's trying to get one over on me And also that guy definitely had a day where a bunch of shit like that had been piling up Yeah, I can't have one more thing go wrong And then he goes home

That guy's washing his hands in the urinal and be like why do my hands smell like piss? I'm doing everything right He goes home and he watches curb and he's like this is basically my life is an episode of curb It's like dude. It's not I trust me. It's not it's not alright, I'm speaking of episodes of Curb This Is Nothing, Adol, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Yes, just five days ago was my sister, Sidia's birthday, and I failed to wish her a happy birthday last episode, so I desperately want to correct that and say,

happy 70th birthday to my sister, Sadia. I hope it was a good one. I hope it was a good one too, Sadia, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Erin, do you have anything to plug? Yes, I host a show, a monthly show in Los Angeles called Quality Time. So if you wanna follow that on Instagram

or if you wanna reach out to me to get a free ticket to come join us, I would love that. JBC, any review to read? Maybe a five-star review saying that we don't have enough produce? Hey, before we read that, I will say that if you are listening to this on the day that comes out, it is not too late to come.

Or maybe it's sold out, who knows. But it's probably not too late to come to our San Francisco live show as part of SF SketchFest. That show is Saturday, January 18th from 4 p.m. to 5.30 p.m. Pacific Standard Time at the Gateway Theater in San Francisco. So please come to that show. And if you do come to that show,

hang out and say hello to us afterwards. We always enjoy meeting people and we're very excited to be doing SketchFest once again, I have a review and this one's gonna be from boy. Hi, he just says, this one is titled Great Start. First of all, I wanted to say this is a great start. My biggest issue is not effectively communicating our brand voice. You could put the same product on anyone's feed and it wouldn't feel out of place.

We need to look at this through a lens and really consider how we can reinforce our values without diluting the message. I don't want to lose the essence of what you've done here. And how can we take this to the next level? Don't be afraid to think outside the confines of the brief. As always, let me know if you have any questions. Huh, OK, yeah, good to know.

I think we really hit our brand identity this episode. Erin talked about her period a bunch and we said piss. A bunch? Like seven times. Every time a bell rings and Aaron gets her period. And that's Cher? Do you believe in life after love, Aaron? Life after blood, whatever, doesn't matter, Jupiter.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Snap out of it. The latest by Apple Refined. Starting Aaron Cheath. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Snap out of it! Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours We will bring the most deep three four eight ritual Any notes on that one? No. Can we start over? Can we start again

please? Can we start a gumball?