Hey Riddle Riddle - #34: The More You Know!

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

After the fateful return of the 'Your Spouse' segment and reminding ourselves what the show is; the Clue Crew is whisked back in time to 1993! Adal reads from the first riddle book he bought from Scholastic, Erin gives us a deep dive into her 'realm of pillows', and we maybe find out what JPC really stands for? We also make some long overdue PSA's for a very important subject! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. The Dabber was the hater, hey it's Hey Red or Rittle I'm Adora Fine. I'm JPC. And I'm Aaron Keath. D-D-D-D-Dabber was the hater. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- Yeah, what's your favorite gluer, Stefan Song? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So my dad, every hoody, yeah hoody, he celebrates his divorces by throwing big parties. And so this is a divorce numero siet day for un papa. It doesn't meet his next wife at the party. One calendar year after the party. He remembers that they had talked and then he says, whoa!

And then yeah, they're like, they're married in sense a whirlwind speaking of meeting his next wife uh... i'm gonna be old man life what is this segue all the one uh... it's a generous to call it a yeah uh... this is a glee is going to be since i am old man

at all segway some more like rascal scooters it's like those things that you used to explode with the hoverboards or some hover. Very pence. Vape pin. That's what it was. Those things that people put their

mouth into exploded. I am old man puzzles or old wife puzzles. And we're going to do. Old man puzzles. We're going to do a little segment that I like to call your show. And JPC sends so many people like the yourspouse segment. And earlier before this episode, JPC did eat his own ass.

Yeah. It was pretty. I posted that meme of Bruce Banner as the Hulk saying, my secret, I'm always eating my own ass. Which is true. I mean, I'll eat my own ass breakfast, lunch and dinner, my man. I got no shame. You'll which is true. I mean, I'll eat my own ass breakfast as long as you dinner my man. I got no shame. Yoli Trone, my ass.

So we're gonna do some ear spouts, riddles. Aaron, you seem not thrilled. Oh, I am super thrilled that just in that my bones are cold, they're made of ice. Okay, and for anybody who can't see Aaron is wrapped up like a tiny babush guy. I don't wanna go back to the Charles Xavier, just a cat of me, and see an X-Men whose bones are made of ice.

Mm-hmm. And it's just a lady being like, I'm cold. They call me ice bones because honestly, it's fucked. And it gets hot, I do melt inside. But I've made the best out of it. I do think I am a superhero. Aaron, you look like, you know when you go to, what is it, Betty Hana? And they do like the stack of onion. I do think I am a superhero. Aaron, you look like, you know, when you go to, what is it, Benihana?

And they do like the stack of onion rings, and they put oil in middle. Make it look like a little volcano. That's what you look like right now. You look like Olsa. And what do you have to ask? You are. I feel like, yeah.

You look like a stack of onions. Okay, cruel. I smell like one too. And it tastes like one. And I'll make you cry. I made all the jokes you can make. Go ahead. Wow, she bullied herself. We didn't have to do it. Aaron, what do I look like from Benihana? And I'll make you cry. I made all the jokes you can make. Go ahead. Wow, she bullied herself.

We didn't have to do it. Anna, what do I look like from Benihana? And I'll say this, watch yourself, Galsler. Like a raw shrimp. Thank you. JP Shrimp. Oh, man, that would be the best name. JP Shrimp?

Yeah. The best name, and this is, I'm willing to take this light D to work, because it's been on my mind nonstop for the last 24 hours. We have a friend of ours Who told us that they knew someone from Boston and her name was Phoebe P middle initial P is in Paul Phoebe Pee body and of course in Boston you pronounce Pee body as So her name was Phoebe Pee Pee

And she married our friend said This is real she married a man with the last name BB, so she became Phoebe Peepie Bitty BB. Which the last way for hours, I've just been like saying to myself like a looting person. That just confuses like the sonar on chips, really. Yeah, just sub-crashing into each other. Phoebe Peepie Bitty BB, did I do it?

Yes. Phoebe Peepie Bitty BB. Phoebe Peepie Bitty BB. Our friend said that they would like him and his friends Just subs crashing into each other. BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BBB BB That's all good. Yeah, it has like a news bulletin from the 16th. I feel like this should be like a, like if you ever, and I'm gonna go ahead and say this and you two can disagree but who cares? If you ever see us in Chicago, like if you're at a world news show, if you see us on the streets,

if you come to a live show or see us somewhere else, just yell Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, and we will look around and acknowledge you and come say hi. Yeah. So I feel like that should be like our- I'll hand you a dozen right of those. And she'll eat a pin. That could be Addles.

If you see me in Chicago, really anywhere on the street, you should scream, give me back my daughter! That's the only thing I want people to scream. And you have a certain set of skills that make people a few a nightmare. I have a certain set of skills that make people like me unemploy nightmare. I have a certain set of skills that make people like me unemployable. Aaron, what do people save the CEO in the street?

Pebe, pebe, pebe, pebe. Okay, so Addles thing. Yeah, I can go and say, I'm not here to think. Pebe, pebe, pebe, pebe, pebe. Here we go, this is some, your spouse riddles, of course we know how to answer these.

Sure we do. So we don't need to get into it. So the first one. But we might have new listeners don't need to get into it. So the first. But we might have new listeners. We, I will say this, we never consider the fact that we might have new listeners. We never talk about the show. The show is a show where we all answer riddles,

and we never say that. But I don't know. I don't think anyone's listening. One's the last time we said, one's the last time we ever said Kevin's and Susie's or Riddies and Puzzies. That's true That's true. I and I also I know you guys don't like to think about the analytics side of things But I do look at the number of people that's downloading and since we launched back in August consistently

It's been eight people And those eight people it's sometimes they've even flowed it tracks their interest and they're all disinterested And I have a bit of a hearing problem. Did you say ape people? It's ape people. So it's pervolums. It's pervolums. I have a bit of a hearing problem. I want some micebouse, witties and putties.

Can we do some ear smells ones, or you want micebites? Oh, I want micebites. Micebites. Micebites. All spice. Here we go. This segment, I feel like loses us listeners, but for sure. Yeah.

Here we go. First one is, this is a 90s MTV show starring Claire Danes. My so-called MyWife. I so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife.

I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyWife. I'm not so-called MyW, what she said my so-called my wife is that not correct? It's my so-called it's my so-called life. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Oh, okay. I'm in the game You said that you didn't want to explain it, but it's my so-called my life, right? Well, we'll just leave in wife I don't it either way is we're not gonna edit that out. We're not gonna edit that out

Here we go next one is The main song in dirty dancing. Oh. I've had the time of my life. I was gonna say dirty dancing, have had a night. Actually, I think I prefer that it changes to my wife. So, Erin, can you do that again? I've had the time of my life. I'm head time of Mowell and Owen O'Neal to you. I picture someone on the subway or L listening to this moment and just throwing down their headphones

and just like walking up like just being like. I do see like headphones laying on the ground every once in a while as I'm walking around Chicago and I'm always like think about that. I was trying to imagine like, what was it that caused this, it's probably just broken head. I will say, if I'm not enjoying an episode of a podcast, I will throw down my headphones

and just buy new ones on Amazon the next day. Yeah, because I'm rich as hell. If I get a text message that upsets me, I throw my phone as hard as I can into the lake, no matter where I'm standing in Chicago. I've had the impulse lately. Oh, yeah. Where in my water,

I just want to throw my phone into it. And I haven't been charging my phone at night. I think I hate my phone. Do you guys do that thing when you see P, you want to drink the P? No. Okay, no, me neither. No, I have that. Yeah. My super power I always drink the P. I peed in the shower today. Whoa, Aaron. That's going to be a day. I don't often pee in the shower when I do it today. Do you, you don't often do it, but you do it sometimes? Yes, sometimes. Okay, so this is like a crisis.

No, don't worry about me. Are you like dancing when you do it, or is it like you like... No, I'm not dancing at any time when I'm pee-ing. Never once. I'm dancing when I'm showering. I'm not being happy to do it. Can I just say, you're peeing wrong? Does that make sense?

If you're dancing while you're pee-ing. That's not safe. I'm gonna being happy, too. Can I just say, you're peeing wrong? Does that make sense? If you're a dancer, you're not peeing. That's not safe. Yeah, I haven't peed in the shower since I was like a very little boy. You're a little piss boy. Yeah, never told you that. A little piss boy. So JPC used to stand for just piss child.

Just piss child. I would never piss. Which is my favorite Beyonce, no school. I would never piss in the shower, because that's my shower. Would I piss in someone else's shower? It's my shower. It's your what? My shower. Thank you. All shower because that's my shower. Would I piss in someone else's shower? It's my shower. It's your what?

My shower. Thank you. All right, let's keep going. I love how you- Aaron's keeping the show on track. You're narrowly derailed this and then you're like, guys, can we please- Let's rewind, motherfucker. Look, look at that dead stuff myself.

We don't ever rewind, but we only have that forward. I meant the me pissing in the shower thing to be at most one second. Just breeze right now. Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe in a shower. Here we go, next one. Okay. This might be a hard one, but this is a movie starring Brad Pitt and Jessica Chastain dressed directed by Terence Malik.

The tree of my life. Yep. Meet Joe Black. This is a synatra song that was used in a McDonald's commercial. Hey there, good looking. That big max look at a Jew. Fly me to my life. That works.

It was Mac the... Oh no. Mac the, call me Mac my life. There you go. And of course, the McDonald's commercial was... Oh no! Mac the... Call me Mac Malai! There you go. And of course the McDonald's commercial was... Oh this show. Do you remember that? This might be before your time.

I'm 36. Was this the one with Mac and me? This is the one with Mac and me the creepy little creature with big eyes. This is the one... You're almost 10 year old to the me. Fuck you. There was a...

Yeah. There's a mascot called Mac the Night. That was like a crescent-shaped moon that was terrifying He had like cool shades on and like a suit and would play the piano and so for a few commercials They had Mac the night singing that song. Oh, okay. What does Mac the nice mean? It's from a three penny opera to character from that And that's a song that's originally from that opera. Aaron, if you don't know, don't make up stuff. Good point.

There also used to be. You know, and Lucy Brown, he's a character in that opera. But Mac the Knife is a person named Mac and he's, why is he the knife? He's a killer. He's a killer. He's a killer. It's like the demon, the Fleet Street barber demon. And this was a sweetie Todd.

And this was a McDonald's commercial. Yeah, but they change it to Mac the night. So they took away knife out of it Oh like nighttime, but the parents knew not K. Yeah That's what I love about McDonald's is it's fun for the kids, but the parents get the real serious jokes in it Well, I don't know you guys might have been too young as again, but there was a mascot. They had that was John Wayne John Wayne plaything that they had that was John Wayne, John Wayne Plaything. So it was like John Wayne Gacy, but they made him like a toy. Do you remember that?

It was John Wayne Playplace. Oh, oh, yeah. And it was like kids couldn't go into the play place. So it was like Ronald McDonald's face on John Wayne Gacy. That's the year that McDonald's closed all their stores, right? They all play in the business because they're real marketing. I remember having several birthday you that McDonald's closed all their stores, right? They all live in a business because we're a real marketing. I remember having several birthday parties at McDonald's as a kid. I forgot that you were poor when you...

That was the thing you did. And there used to be the best thing in the world was there was a tower that you climb up into. It's like a ladder that climbs into a giant mayor McCheeese, but he was like a prison, if that makes sense. It was like the burger. Okay. And it was like a bun, patty, and then bars, and then patty, cheese, bottom bun. I remember in grade school, there was this kid named Shane, and someone asked Shane what

he was, it was his birthday, and someone asked Shane what he was going to do for his birthday, and he was like, we're going to McDonald's and this kid named Josh goes, McDonald's, I was there yesterday. It was the most brutal owned. Because it's like this kid just wanted to go to a McDonald's for his birthday but something's like, that's my Tuesday bitch. I'm up in here spending money.

My early McDonald's memory is when for a long time, McDonald's on their front door was like, please, we don't have any more mini beanie babies. Oh, yeah. Don't come in here, but leave it alone. We don't have more. There's the little, I remember getting the Muppet toys, where it was like a Kermit on a skateboard that was what I played with all the time. Sounds freaking cool.

And then there's also like Transformers, where it was like a thing of fries that turned into a Transformer or burger that turned into a thing. Oh that Oh yeah, I have no- I have no- I have no- I have no- I have no- Guys, if I've said it once, I've said it a million times, if the McDonald's has a play place, legally they have to sell socks. You could order fries and socks.

They have a John Wayne play place. Also, I just want to say that my favorite toy from that birthday party was Ghostbusters' car. It was like a- it wasn't the heck of one, but it was like a beetle, like a Volkswagen beetle, then when you pressed down on the top, it turned into a praying mantis. And you were saying that that was so great because there was no women in it, correct? I was saying the toy had no women in it,

and I feel like the reboot ruined the room symbol. Could you or me, original fan? You're a true fan of the great. I saw the reboot in theaters. Wow, so. It all in a plot, yeah. This is what it went for all in a plot, and I didn't say anything. He's true, but I didn't say anything.

Well, I just got accused of a, here we go. This is, I need two different Monty Python movies. Wait, what? My life of Ryan. And Monty Python. In the Holy My Life. That's not it. The meaning of my life. Bryan and Monty Python The meaning of my wife, okay, and this is a different stroke spin-off TV show The family dies. I'm too young

Wait, wait, I know this is a different stroke. This is not full of lies. It's full of true Full of house Full of house. We have full of house in this house. We have notes for you. What have we dropped the... No, we're not just full of house. Just the blanks, Jack. Nothing but the blanks, ma'am.

Blanker fix. Facts. Facts of... Facts of life facts of facts of life my life my life this is a yarn martel book and it came in angley movie oh god my life uh see it say it with more confidence my life up high tiger in a boat tiger in a boat there's a tiger in the boat there's a tiger in

the boat there's a tiger in the boat there's a tiger in the boat there's a tiger in a boat. Tiger in a boat. There's a tiger in the boat. There's a tiger in the boat. There's a tiger in the boat. There's a tiger in the boat. The tiger is really an angry chef. He kills the boy. He eats the boy. What are we going to do about the tiger in the boat? There's a tiger in the boat. There's a tiger in the boat. This is my life of five musicals. It's not going well. It's going very bad. Oh, we've heard this song three times in this musical. This bands. I'm going very bad. Oh, look, we've heard this song three times in this musical. This band's. I'm moving. And it's by a woman in the front row. It's not even in the movie.

She's wearing a backwards hat that says, director of the musical. I want that hat. Someone make me that hat right this second, please. It can be a forward set. Somebody make me a hat that says, that's my Tuesday bitch. of the musical please I need it I need it I would like to give you a chair that just says director of the musical that you could sit at when you podcast yeah yeah really this band saying the song Superman

uh third eye blind is it three doors down no I think three doors Dan had the song that was like This is a story of a girl who credit river and drown the whole world There's two songs one One is like, if I go crazy, then we'll use two. There's also one that's like, I'm only a man, you know something red, right? I think I'm thinking of I'm 15 for a moment, I'm superman. So who sings the Superman song?

Wait, what? Who sings the Superman song? It's a number of people. Five for fighting Five for my wife for my wife my wife It's five for fighting right, but to me Five for my wife to me five is the key My wife for fighting my wife for fighting. I really wanted to be fighting for some reason These are going great. Well five wife

You can see how far we've gone We're fine. We're protected by the Constitution. Let's walk let's walk away from the We can't we can't Aaron Aaron this is a this is a movie. This is a movie starting being cross being Danny K. Oh I'm dreaming of my life. Christmas. Christmas. Christmas.

Also, I think I might have said this before, but the phrase that brings me in the most joy in life ever is Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight. My life. That phrase brings more joy to me than anything else in the world. Then sitting here with two of your friends. We're gonna find you some good friends. We gotta find you some better friends.

I don't have a lot of friends with some better friends. Yeah, and this, this, this, wait, is that the slogan for Apple please? Good friends, better food. We come on and we'll find you some better friends and better friends. You'll be sitting with these people today. Eating good better friends. You'll be sitting with these people today. Eating good with friends. This whole game of adding my wife into things was myself and Gemma Stembergung. And we did this for four hours one night.

And it's maybe the most I've laughed at my life. But the Santa Baby hurried on to the chimney tonight. My wife was one that we came up with and I just said for 100 years. We only got a couple more, and then we'll stop. Oh, good. This is a Disney movie about a woman who eats an apple. Snow, my wife.

This is Jeff Bridges' favorite drink based on the Big Lebowski. My wife Russian. And finally, last but not least, this is the best song in the line King A cool number tada a cool number why this is an unpopular opinion, but I really just like I'm gonna be a mighty king Then why do you sing it so well? Isn't that Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Yeah. My teeth and ambitions are bad. Be my wife.

You should've done before. You'd be here. Yeah. Who do we all be in my game? I'll scar four sure. You're definitely scar. I feel like I'd be a refugee. Oh, yeah.

People in grade school used to call me Refici after a line can came out because I was named for a fine. Why? Because you're not essential to the story. What the fuck? Because you dipped everybody's face in paint. Because you live in a trache. Because people hit you in the coconut with a stick.

This went from fun though. Her pull. I got bullied earlier and I'm learning how to make it. I said you look like a stack of Indian rings. You called me inconsequential. There's a huge disparity. There's a huge disparity. There's a huge disparity between being like, somebody could cook the engine rings,

but he don't like the taste. There's a huge disparity between like, oh, you're wearing air walks? What is it? 1994? And then somebody else being like, you don't have no value on this show. You don't matter to me.

I don't know your name. When I talk to you, I talk past you. That's why bullying shouldn't happen because it just ping pongs back and forth and it escalates. I think bullying should happen only in specific contexts where I'm allowed to do it. Okay.

Okay, I'm ready for more. I think in a weird way, bullying did make me stronger because I was always the bully. So by you strike the crease. You learned how to find the... I learned always the bully. So by strike the crease. You learned how to find the... I learned how to bully. I learned how to bully from doing. Doing is the best teacher.

So we'll get to our main apple. Who would I be a Mining King? We didn't get to it. Honestly? You've got those Nala fuck me eyes. Yeah. Woo! Nala fuck me eyes. Yeah. Yeah. No, fuck me. Nala, come and fuck me tonight. I did see how to change. You know, the Nala fuck me eyes that I'm talking about. She's playing in the grass. I saw how to train your dragon, the new how to train your dragon movie earlier today and the

girl dragon and that definitely has like Nala eyes all over the place. I'm like, oh, we just doing this now. What are other very hot animated characters? Here is the number one hottest animated character. Robin Hood. Robin Hood. Robin Hood. Yeah.

Both male and female. So, so hot. Nala. Yeah. Peppie Lapue and dress up in a dress. Recta Tui. Very fuckable. You can also say humans. It doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. Yeah. dress up in a dress. Recta-tui. Very fuckable.

You can also say humans. It doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. Oh, slinky dog, slinky dog and toy story. But this is for like, specifically, because you know he's cartoonist. Yeah, animated. Go online, Google Family Guy porn. No.

That's all my least favorite things coming together and making money And I cover it for the fact that that's my favorite porn really well just now the Aaron one time we were watching hottest I'm gonna watch in Toy Story one time and she nudged me and said that buzz light ear gives me a woody and then Pete and then she mimed peeing in the shower you and I have never hung out Me and Aaron were watching Toy Story one time and I nudged sure that I took my eyes out and put the boat by butt Answer your question. Who would you be in the Lion King honestly? You'd be the most talented and beautiful character. No, that's not gonna work. Pumba I think you'd be Timon. I think you'd be to-mone I think you'd be to-mone.

That's fair. I'd also say I'm one of I'm the hyena who like doesn't speak. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, manic energy. I feel like you'd be like one of the one of the the bison that tramples the dead. Okay that's cruel and I deserved it. I like it though. Could you be? No I don't think you'd be Zazu I feel like I'm more Zazu than anyone else. That's like the uptight bird. Yeah, Zazu Scott. Yeah, who's gonna be John Oliver? Right? Yeah, because I'm I'm very I like I can be an uptight bird at times and I can also be like very evil So I got equal mix of those two things Here we go. So what I have in store for our main course is I found, and this is not hyperbolic, in my

apartment, I have 14 bookcases, and I have over 1700 books. I have a problem, I'm a bibliophile. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second. Who gave you an apartment? How many of the books when you take them off the shelf, you pull it and then there's a trap door behind it? How many? All but one. How many books show up to you? How many of these bookshelves are in your room? One. Oh, okay. So these are common space books. They're common space books. But so I have so many books and I was like trying to do some spring cleaning Marie Kondo and I found what is the very first

riddle book I ever purchased. It's called Stories to Solve. From the 1800s, from when you were born. Yeah, it's Jesse James in his gang. It's from Stories to Solve, folktales from around the world. This is a book I bought in Scholastic, from Scholastic when I was in like, fifth grade or something, fourth grade. And this is the very first puzzle book I ever purchased. And I found it. So I thought to do some,

and I remember vividly a lot of these stories. And I also have the second one called More Stories to Solve. But I found these and I thought to read some so that you can get a glimpse into what sparked joy in Adoles really childhood brain. What year were you in fifth grade? 17, 17.

How does the best? I don't know what year this would have been. This would have been. 92, 92. I was born in 82. It's your grade plus six is how old you are. So fifth grade you're a little left. So you're, yeah, okay, you're 10 or 11 in fifth grade.

So this would have been 92, 93. Cool. I also around this time, I remember, so what I remember is classic being the best day ever because you have that little paper, you mark the books you want. And then like a month later, they give you a stack of books and you're this like the best feeling in the world.

Do you ever do the book mobile? Yes. Yeah, book mobile is cool too, because you get to go on the book mobile and pick a book. Yeah. If we're gonna do this, we have to do it in 1993 though. So we're gonna get into this time machine. We're gonna go back, are you guys ready?

That's a book mobile we're getting into. Yeah, all right, well it goes to the past. So are you ready? Yeah, okay. All right, and definitely insert a cool going into the past sound here. And it worked. I hope it wasn't a stupid sound. Whoa. Whoa. Based on the contents of this van, we're still in 2019.

Nope. All right. Let's try it again. Wait. Let's open the back door. We're in 1993. Oh, and it's summertime. Aaron, look, look at that billboard. It's for the year's top album, which is... Err, nerve-wracking little pill. Jacket little pill, yeah. Maybe I'm a little pill. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at this.

It's a bottle of Perth Plus. Mmm, she improve your hair. Ooh, I'm gonna drink it like a squeeze it. Look, there's little me. She's a baby. Let's kill her. No! No, let's.

I always tell myself, if I could go back in the past and kill one person, it would be Erin Keefe. Why? To stop Hitler. There. There. Hitler's obsessed with you. I got it.

Erin, Hitler's obsessed with you. Oh my God, no. Erin, don't look now, but Hitler is looking at you. Oh my God, that's seriously cute. Erin, but Hitler is looking at you. Oh my god. Aaron Hitler is looking right at you. That's so... Oh wait, no, he's looking past you at Phoebe Pee Pee Pee but he baby.

Whatever, she's so popular. Well let's do some riddles and then we'll watch the TV show dinosaurs, not the baby. Yes, that's true. Not the baby. You know the baby's famous guest race, not the baby. Not the baby.

Let's do this. Or do we want to see a scene where Aaron dates Hitler? Yeah. No, no, no, I think we're okay. I think my parents aren't proud enough already. We haven't done any scenes. We haven't done any scenes, so we haven't done any riddles. I wouldn't.

We haven't done any riddles. So since we haven't done any other scenes, no riddles, I think we should take a brief break and think about what we've done and what we've accomplished here today. We should take a quick break and eat at a Perkins. Perkins, they only existed in the 90s. Right? Or Ponderosa? Perkins is like a...

All right, we'll be right back after. We all Google Perkins! Fuck cheap before hate, break, break, break, don't lose. Hey, Rick, Rick, Rick, yo. Hey, Rick, Rick, yo. Hey, Rick, Rick, Rick, yo. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Okay. Um, okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gays with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience

and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords are popular products and content on my Prank website to prank that to a well, that's awesome Aaron. I'm glad using Squarespace Did you say what the website was for I I can't remember what the website is for Frank With Squarespace You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine Dude, we got her anyway Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost,

I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works

way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating

them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help.

H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in Am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. that's one of my favorite things

as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, Kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you.

And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling. It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time, and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Well, clink, clink, clink.

Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, clink, clink, clink. Stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle.

That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love you, Logan. Clank, clank, clank, clank. And we're back and Bill Clinton is still president and unforgiven one best picture at the Oscars. And Bill Clinton certainly won't be forgiven for the sex that he had in the White House with Monica Lewinsky. Aaron, Bill Clinton is looking at you. Sorry guys. That makes sense. Hi, hi there, Aaron.

I'd like to just... JBC, stop, I'm trying to look at Bill Clinton. Aaron, I couldn't help but notice you were making noles, fuck me eyes, at me. This sucks. No! All right, here we go. First riddle, this is from Stories to Solve.

These are longer ones, these are like, these are actual stories to solve. Okay. So I'm only gonna read these once. So put on your Thinking ears to make sure that I don't have to repeat this. I just put my ears onto my butt. Mr. Potato butt. Here we go This one is called witch flower. Okay Once long ago there lived two rulers of different lands famed for their wisdom as well as their beauty the queen of Shiba and King Solomon

Upon his visit to her land the queen decided to test King Solomon's wisdom by a series of tests and riddles. He passed each one with ease until this is a lot of setup. He passed each one with ease until she led him into a room filled with flowers of every shape and color. The Queen had the finest craftsmen and magicians in her land construct the flowers so that they looked exactly like the real flowers from her garden. The test she told King Solomon is to find the one real flower amongst the thousands of artificial ones. King Solomon carefully looked from flower to flower and back again searching for even the smallest of differences.

He looked for any sign of wilted leaves or petals but found lifelike leaves and petals in all conditions on every flower. And fragrance was of no help as well, for the room was filled with fragrance. Quite good. Also a kid wrote this, please King Solomon, the room is so warm, could we open the curtains and let it in a breeze? The fresh air will help clear my head for thinking. The queen of Shiba kindly agreed, and within minutes after the curtains had been opened,

King Solomon knew which of the many flowers was the real one. How did he suddenly know? I know. I know too. So let's do this. King Solomon and Queen Shiba are really... Are you putting a V in Shiba? Shiba.

They're real people, right? Or based like... You think Queen Shiba, the multi-armed character from Mortal Kombat, is a real person. Yeah, King Solomon, who was Johnny Cage's promoter, the Mortal Kombat. Don King Solomon. Don King Solomon. This King Solomon, the one who also did the baby test? Yeah, he was big on cutting babies out. He turned that baby into gold.

Yeah, and then like- I'll get little Aaron and killer. Yeah, he was he was big on cutting babies out. He dipped that he turned that baby into gold. Yeah, and then like Little Aaron killer it not only not only did it was like two people arguing about a child He was like cut the child in half and that's how you know that sounds Circumcision was the famous thing that was also his solution to a bunch of other shit too Yeah, people were like this this guy like seated on fruits upon my land He's like, okay, we'll take your kids. We'll cut them in half. I have a headache, let's cut it in half. Cut your head in half. Salomon half cuts.

Errors just flaring at me. Yeah, I heard it. Let's say it on the count of three, okay? One, two, three, please. One, two, three, please. We have bees in pollen, which are both correct. When the curts were pulled back of bee flu in the window, and immediately went to the real flower.

Mm-hmm. I know bees. Because you love that Oprah gift. I do. And you love Nick Cage. I... I can't think of a more stressful job. Well, I probably could, for me.

Then be. Then be. Then be. Then being a bee. Oh, man. All right, all right. No, no, no. We now see a scene.

So, Adel and Aaron Aaron you are both worker bees Adel Adel you're like a very carefree worker bee because your worker bee you just do the same thing until you die Aaron You have that same life except it causes you endless stress Paulin Make him Can I work? Can you just cover here here? Can we do a quick sidebar? Yeah, I don't have a lot of time

because I gotta make this honey. Yeah, I totally totally do. Wait, do I make honey or does the queen make honey? She makes royal jelly. Okay. What do I do? Fuck. What, yeah, what do you want?

I've been doing the wrong thing for a minute. Oh, what? I've been doing ant stuff. I've been calling on the ground and making little chips over my head to bring back. I crawled into an ant. I like, okay, so this is what happened, I'll start. So I got a chip and I went, great, I'll do this.

I walked across the picnic blanket, I went to an ant hill, okay? And then I crawled into an ant hill and I went, this feels like a tight fit. I got down there with a chip, I thought there'd be a plaza. No a plaza. Not even a little bit. People started screaming, I'm too big down there.

I throw the chip in a panic, I kill two dozen ants at least, crushes them. And then I go, oh my god, I'm a bee, aren't I? I get the, this I get the fuck out of here, you can fly. And I fly through, ruin their home, ruin their home. And then I mean, my day didn't stop there, but I just, I, I, I did the wrong, I forgot what insect it was. Can I be honest with you, this sounds like a you problem? Okay, I was outside of a window and I went, oh went out at night time now, I have to make noise.

And then I made noise. This is a new problem? Yeah, this is a different problem. Okay. Same day, new problem? Yeah, same day. It was a dark outside and I was like, oh, it's time to make noise. And then someone gets close and I stop making noise.

And then I was, I'm not this insect either. Oh, cicada? Yeah. Hey, the PS, your stinger's gone. Is it? Yeah. Oh, okay, well that makes sense. I'll tell you why.

You have moments to lose. Okay, well that makes sense. That makes sense, because we don't know why. Why? I flew into the sock. So I put the sock on, I went, wait a minute. No, thank you. How'd you get out?

I put my butt up against their foot. You're telling me what? You were inside a sock. Yes. With someone's full weight pressed down on you. I was at the heart of their foot. And all you did was push your butt up against the force of their weight. I went like, boom.

And I got out. And now I'm here. And I just, I did all the wrong insect things today. Okay, I wanna tell you something. Since the moment we met, maybe we said, what? Since the moment we met three weeks ago. I mean, what do you say?

What? Since the moment we met three weeks ago, I've recognized that you're not a bee. I am a bee. You're an ant who's put on several disguises. And I'm over your bullshit, you fabricate lies. You're a habitual liar. I mean, I made a bad...

How look at my hair? You're a habitual liar. I'm tired of it, and I won't indulge you. Where's your web? Look at that, look at that. I'm definitely not gonna push your app this time. No, I think you're gonna push me out this time. Absolutely.

Do it, I have wings. She pushes at and he flies. Well, fuck you. Let's see. Let's see. Here we go. Next. Push a B of a building.

Next story to solve. This one's called The Clever Bride. JPC, how might that sound in Jurassic Park? Bump sets different balls. Bump set. He's playing pool. Where did he get that pool cue? Here we go. There once was a bride who lived with her mother-in-law and was very fond of chickpeas.

The bride liked them so much that she would steal some from the kitchen every day to roast and eat in secret. Okay. Women. Women women women women women. Women be hummus. I want a women be hummus. You can't stop a woman from hummus. I got to make air when you let me exclusively decide all the clothes that you wear. Director of the musical women be hummus. all the clothes that you wear, director of the musical, We Would Be Humbest. That sounds like my ideal outfit. We would be Humbest with a backwards head, this is director of the music.

But it has to be, it has to be all like pictogram. So it has to be a picture of a woman, a B, a picture of a B, and then a picture of Hamas. A chickpea. Unreal. Unreal. Before long half the sack of chickpeas was gone, and a mother-in-law was angry.

She suspected the bride and mumbled to herself, I'm certain she's the thief. The four long half the sack of chickpeas was gone and a mother-in-law was angry. She suspected the bride and mumbled to herself, I'm certain she's the thief. She's the only new person in the house. Says later that the woman couldn't think. She had to speak out loud. That didn't sound right when I said it. I tried to make a joke that she said it out loud versus thinking it and then I said this woman couldn't think.

Wow. Do we really believe this at all? Go to the theaters. Nope. No way. I'm certain she's the thief. She mumbled to herself. The mother-in-law was a smart woman.

I added that part in. But the young bride was even cleverer. She knew she was being suspected. One day while cleaning the house with her mother-in-law, the bride found a chickpea on the floor. She picked it up, showed it to the mother-in-law, and said three words that convinced the older woman that she hadn't taken the chickpeas. What did the bride say? Back off bitch! That's right, B.O.B. Yeah, but, D.B.O.B.

She's got Nala Fah, B.I.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S's got Nala Fuzfian. It wasn't me. Do you said chick this out? Wait, she did she say it like shaggy? It wasn't me She went I found a sticky on the counter. Yeah, it wasn't me I was pissing in the shower it was a me That's a shirt I want that's air is that's air's reality that I had given her an extra P Thank you. What were the three words that she said to convince To convince a mother-in-law she hadn't taken that okay. What's this? What is this? That's what she said? What is this she said now that's this? What is this? That's what she said. What is this? She said, now that's comedy.

Here is correct. She said, what is this? If you did not know what a chickpea was, why would she steal it? I'm your fucking queen now. Well, I got the answer. To be fair, you had headphones and you're watching, maybe before Christmas, while I was reading this riddle. Fair enough. What is this? Let's see a scene with JPC, your mother-in-law. Okay. Aaron, you are a bride to be. Sure. Or I guess the bride.

And you've been accused of stealing something. Cool. You know what you've done. What? You know what you've done. Sorry. Sorry, let me what you've done. Sorry. Uh, sorry. Uh, let me just finish getting my clothes on.

I'm Nancy. I'm your dad's new wife. Yep. You took your dad's lucky penny. What? Sorry, honey. You're my what? Rick, do we have to do this now?

I just want to hear it. I signed the prenup and I thought that that was a joke clause, but I have to say it every time. I'm your dad's new my wife. Thank you. Probably in the other room. Sorry, what did I take? I'm confused.

You took your dad's lucky penny. I don't know either of those words. I said so many more words than... Like lucky. I don't know what lucky penny What are those words? You don't know the words lucky and penny what are those? What brand jeans you have right now? What brand jeans do you get this way? A.G. or citizens? Oh, these are citizens. Those are citizens. Yeah

Rick not now Those are great. Those what'd you get those? I got them at Nordstrom. Okay, Rack or proper proper really? Iceblur you splurge well, you have no woman like shop in for jeans. You just gotta go getting it out You know what they say women be hummus. They that's true So yeah, so what was the word? Can I you chickpea? Oh? What chickpea? I certainly don't that sounds like a bird. Yeah What? A chickpea. I certainly don't. That sounds like a bird.

Yeah. Cut for you a bird. Okay. Give you the male finger. Okay, okay. You didn't have to know. This is how it's going to be. This is how it's going to be in my house.

Alright, well, you're saying confusing words and I don't know any of these words. Chickpea, who knows what that is. Lucky, no one's guess. Penny, what the heck? That's Inspector Gadget's niece. Alright, well, now it's daughter. I was a daughter early enough, so he got fucking,

I got sued. Let her roast it for it. Sorry, it's over here singing, How Bizarre, because it's 1993. How am I what? How am I what? BDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD That's by O.M. my wife, right? Yeah, that's correct. Yes. We should mention, I guess this was a patron episode, but we had, we released it on the main's feed, but there's a state episode where Aaron was asked about the Massachusetts State Bird, and she made the noise of the bird, but didn't know the name, and we were flooded

with tweets from birds, but we were flooded with tweets from listeners who all confidently said, Aaron, you dummy, here's the bird that was, but all of them were different birds. With so much arrogance, and I would say only two people gave the same answer. So that's gonna bring us to my new segment, which is, you tweet us the bird.

Aaron, in a second, I'm gonna ask you to make a bird noise, and then if you are listening at home and want you to tweet us what bird you think that is coming out of. All right. Oh, a lot. Coming from Aaron. Coming out of. Coming out of. Aaron, your bird noise, please. That's the bird noise I did before. Can I get one as well? Yep. Jpsc, can you leave me in? Yeah, um, Addle, your bird noise. J.P.C. can you leave me in yeah, um, Adel your bird noise

That's a blue I bore at Back here Your boat Aaron your boat Aaron your bird noise I'm sorry, that's my picture hold on It's a 911 for my wife bird noise. us? Oh! Okay, so tweet your answers into the show. Remember the contest is never, whenever you're hearing this, keep tweeting them in, we will close the entries on a later podcast. And tell us what the first person

who tweets us all the correct answers gets. Oh, the first person? You get a year's worth of bird seed for you and one of your daughters. Um, Mitch, you know, Mitch, the person you've all decided to hate because I told you to. Yes. He texted me right before this episode and was offended that I didn't know what the state bird of Massachusetts is because I think it's the same as Maine and he's from Maine. And then he said, I think what the bird did looking for is a chickadee call.

And then he said, right after you did said this, you insulted me. So I don't know why I'm trying to help. But he thinks it's a chickadee. And if you are confused as to who Mitch is, go back and listen to all of our episodes. Yep. Great.

Oh yeah, we have to take into consideration that we'll be new listeners. There may be new listeners. There may be no mother, mother, mother, who I teased and now everyone hates. So if you ever need context on anything and if you're a new listener, all you have to do for most of these things is go back and listen They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners.

They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners.

They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners.

They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new listeners. They may be new I can divide the house and farm to support all three of you. The one who proves himself the cleverest will inherit the house and farm. There is a coin on the table for each of you, the one who can buy something that will fill this room will inherit all I own. The eldest son took his coin, went straight to the marketplace, and filled his wagon full of straw. The second son thought a bit longer, then also went to the marketplace with his coin, where

he bought sacks and sacks of feathers. The youngest son thought that thought, and then quickly went to the little shop, he bought two small things and tucked them into his pocket. That night, the father called them in to show what they had bought. The eldest son spread his straw on the floor, but it filled only one part of the room. The second son dumped out his sacks of feathers, but they filled only two corners of the room. The second son dumped out his sacks of feathers, but they filled only two corners of the room. When the youngest son, then the youngest son smiled, pulled out two small things from his pocket, and soon filled the room. Yes, the father said, you are indeed the cleverest

and have filled my room when the others could not. You shall inherit my house and farm. I'm sorry, you shall inherit my house and farm and and farm. What had the youngest son bought and with what did he fill the room? Helium. He bought. That's gonna be a day. That's gonna be a day. Stop, what can fill a room?

That is a dog trip, but it's like not air, but like I'm sorry. But also this middle son who's like, you know what's cheap? Feathers. I bought it down comfortably the other day. like not air but like, I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be a ghost. But also this middle son who's like, you know what's cheap, feathers. I bought it down comfortably the other day. It was $1,900. It was not. Well, I didn't buy it.

Because the man was like, do you want this? He had a little bizarre that popped up on the edge of town. He was like a Jeede cursed it. I steer clear of the whole thing. It's comfortable though. I will tell you both, and I'll be honest, I did buy an anthropology pillow yesterday.

Okay. And that's the epitome of complete nonsense. Can I guess that? You were so reluctant to tell us that. Yeah, I'm sorry. And earlier you interrupted to say you peed in the shower. Can I guess how much you, can I guess how much an anthropology pillow costs?

Yes, but I did get it on sale, but you can guess. I'm gonna guess what it did not you know what it cost without the sale Yes original cost. I'm gonna guess that this anthropology pillow. How big do we do with your hands? How big? How big are we talking? I answered the jerk off motion. Yeah, how tall? Okay, okay, I'm gonna say $150 It's a little it was originally a little less than that. It's pretty simple pillow. It's not too embellish. Okay.

So it was originally like $120, $110 or something. And then it had been discounted a couple times. Okay. And then so it was like $40. And then there was a 40% off all sale items. Sale happening. So I bought it for like $25. But I still bought it.

That's not bad. $25 is cool. Yeah, and that's gonna bring us to a close. Again, this is another episode of How Much That Pillow. Oh, this is one of my favorite segments we do on the show. I've been trying to make my room look like, feel and look more cozy.

So over the last like four months, because my boyfriend didn't like staying there. Yeah. I'm like trying to make it more welcoming. Your boyfriend sounds like a real problem. He's nice. So wait, your boyfriend was like, I don't like staying in your room,

because not enough pillows. Well, this was his main feature. Sorry guys, but never into the world has that been the coolest. You want to shot with Aaron? You better up your pillow game. Yep. People are going to start bringing pillows to live shows. Oh my god. Beautiful pillow game. Yep. People are going to start bringing pillows to live shows. Oh my god.

Beautiful decorative pillows. To fall asleep? Yes. Well, honestly, I kind of need them because we have this like nook in our house where we have a bunch of beautiful decorative pillows on the ground surrounding a table and I can always use more. But more importantly, one time I washed my comforter and was letting it air dry and it didn't like fully air dry in time, so we used it. But there was like three blankets in between,

and it was only kind of wet at the bottom. Oh. He was so upset. He was like, you live like an orphan, like an old-timey orphan. Why are your blankets wet this way, does it all work? To be fair, you also act like an old-timey one. Yeah.

I look like one, I act like one. You're wrapped in onion rings right now. So whatever. I honestly, I think I would get mad if I was staying over at someone's house and all their blankets were wet. I think it was kind of wet. How many times.

It's so bad. How many times since that incident has he brought it up? Honestly, like 100. Honestly. It happened about two months ago. I will say this, I am wrong so often about everything because my memory is bad that when I am right about a thing I will remember that thing forever

I'll continue to bring that I'm sorry Aaron, can I tell you and someone will tweet and correct me But that 24 was four seasons Jack Bauer's daughter was not killed by a mountain line That you said you want to feel like cozy and more comfortable, warm, that feeling that is a vote by, you know, like fireplaces and rugs and pillows. It's called umami.

It's called umami. It's a taste. It's called huga. It's h-y-g-g-e. It's like a Scandinavian thing. Seriously? Yeah, but I believe it's called huga. It's called huga.

I believe it's called huga. It looks like it's spelled hygiene But it's something when I went to to Copenhagen like a lot of places there have are are aiming for huga It's almost like fung shui where it's like yeah a feeling it evokes versus like a tangible effort Oh cool and Aaron I've been to your place and I would say that one thing that you can do to make it more Inviting is maybe clean up all of the loose mouse flesh Yeah, scattered around I don't think you do is be home when we're there

You invite us over we sit down then you leave yeah, then I then I Image of me comes up on the TV and I go welcome Would you like to play a good and you have a fireplace? But it's just a section of your apartment that you have deemed the fireplace. And that's where I said people have a fireplace. Prodigy, fire starter, 1993. Do we have an answer for this?

Why do you have the future? I think it's something like a smell. Oh, yes, I know. So you thought you ate a little more smell? It's a cigar in a match. They like the cigar and then it fills the room with smoke I did not fuck that cigar Sarah and you think it's a fart you think it's a cigar

It's not as loud as I was right. Are we all are we all done? Yes? Yeah? Are we done with our little tempered temperum? It's not as loud as I thought. Are we all done? Yes. Are we done with our little temper tantrum? Tamprum? Are we the temper tantricum? Tempered tampon.

I'm seeing what I'm sick. I use a temper tantrum. When you're sick, to suck up my illness. Yeah. I don't think Adel knows what a tampon is. I put a tampon on my head, like Johnny Carson with his envelope and say, hmm, let me think. Let me think.

And then what happened? Yeah. Let me think, let me think. And then what happened? Let me think, let me think, let me think. The tailpods just filled with all the jokes. And I rip off the top of the tailpods. I don't think. Really big sled. Anything about what it felt? The answer is the two small things he bought that filled up the whole room were a match

in a candle that filled the room with lights. My lights. I was sort of close with Helio. Sagar would work too, right? It's milk. I want to see you seen. Aaron, you're trying to win a contest, a similar contest.

You have to fill an entire room with something. You only have $5 and you are at a marketplace or a bizarre. How bizarre? Trying to find something to fill an entire room with something. You only have $5 and you are at a marketplace where a bizarre, how bizarre trying to find something to fill up a room. JPC, you're gonna play various shop keeps vis-a-vis the song from Aladdin. Yes. Hello. Hello.

This seems pretty bear. Have you not put your goods out yet? Oh, thank you for commenting on my pretty bear. Would you like to buy my pretty bear? Oh, that's alive No, it's a stuffed bear. It just looks alive very realistic. Yeah, I'll give it to you for low price 200 rubies. I don't know. I only have five dollars. Okay. Well, you can fuck off Over here. Excuse me, ma'am. Are you interested in something magical and mystical? Uh, okay.

Okay, well then step no further and see my puppet show. Oh, absolutely not. Oh, please! Oh, the cat fell my heart out of our room. The puppet's a very tiny. Hi. One ticket for puppetry of the penis. Oh, yes, you covered it and said.

The puppet's a very funny, he said under his breast. Hello. Hello. What can you fill a room with? Well, I can fill a room with my personality. Oh. Hi. My name's...

Hello, someone else. Hello, hello, ma'am. Hi. Hello, ma'am. Hello. Not a lot of... You don't have a lot of voices, huh? Me?

Yeah. I'm one person. And my name is Alan Alda. Oh, God. See, outstanding. Here we go, we're gonna do another one. This one's called One Word, Salis and Mystery. I should also mention in fifth grade, I thought about this today as I was holding this book,

it brought back a flood of memories. I never told Kelsey that I loved her. Kelsey, for listening, regret that. I love you. Two things, when I was in fifth grade, one I did a speech on Nolan Ryan. We had to dress up like a famous person and do a speech, give a speech as them.

And I did it as Nolan Ryan. And other people did not do that. They did famous people. And I also- I don't have a gal Adam's when they had to do it. Oh, there you go, GPC. Do they have education where you're from? I remember one time I dressed up.

We had to dress up as a character from a poem and do a reading of a poem. And I dressed up as best the landlord's daughter from the poem, The High Women. And I wore one of my mom's dresses. Mm-hmm. Have I go? I, I fucking was a king. I was a god. I was untouchable.

People would look at me and they would try to start shit and the shit would be over. We also had a thing, the other thing that this reminded me of, finding this book, reminded me of was in fifth grade, we had to, it was something where it was like, you have to bring in an object that reminds me of someone, that reminds you of someone in your family that's not like your immediate family.

And so I was living in Columbus, Ohio at the time and my uncle owned a restaurant called Ferdos, which is like a Middle Eastern restaurant, and I would go in and help him every once in a while, just like Chopper or something. But he gave me a full, the full innards of a lamb. So it was like the esophagus connected to the lungs, connected to the heart,

and I brought in a cooler and brought that in and held it up and talked about Laminatomy. Oh, okay. But I had a cooler full of a lamb's heart lungs and esophagus and then the kids came up and like touched it and that was like the fun show and tell part of it. But I remember like after, and I was like as a kid,

I was just weird, I wasn't even thinking about it. Yeah. But after that happened like, because people would like sometimes pick on me because my name or whatever. Yeah, Laminat. But after I brought that in, nobody ever like fuck with this. because my name or whatever. Yeah, lame but after after I brought that in nobody ever like I was like everyone's like this guy like don't fuck with this guy. Yeah, he's got lamb guts just all the lamb guts Do you remember when you're in school? I get it's probably like a regional thing

We're like late at night. You watched your principal strangled somebody and then you had to keep that secret We're like late at night you watched your principal strangle somebody and then you had to keep that secret Did you guys ever read Here's a litany of books my teacher the alien how to eat fried worms my teacher goes in dark M is for monster. Do you read those books? Emma's for monster. I don't remember probably I M is for monster. Do you read those books? M is for monster? I don't remember.

Probably. I love the sidewalks. Yep. Roll doll. Mm-hmm. Yep. Aaron, you seem very over this. I read where the sidewalk ends recently.

Hmm. Hold up. I like it so good. I like the lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, Jayne. She wants a drink of water, so she waits and waits and waits and waits for it to rain. That's funny.

I also think it didn't need to do the genuine ant eater, the pet owner told my dad it turns out it's an aunt eater and now my uncle's mad. Yeah, this is fantastic. Also, I love this little part. Well, if the uncle would eat her then it wouldn't be a problem. Uncle! Go down on your wives! Your wives?

Be on your middle of the head. What is that the episode? We are pro going down on your wife. Yes, yes. Honestly, it's fun to linger. If you enjoy doing it, it is fun to linger. You know what? You should always do it.

Do you remember those like NBC the more you know PSAs? I think that they should just do those today with going down on your wives. And it's so stoic and serious, not a hint of humor. No, I'm exact breath. Can we see some quick PSAs for almost like those? The more you know, some quick PSAs for going down on your wife? Yeah. Getting pubes in your teeth isn't funny.

But giving your wife... teeth isn't funny. You're giving your wife... Stop it is funny! But giving your wife pleasure certainly is nothing to laugh about. I'm dealing with dermis. I don't know. I can't believe it. Am I the only one doing these? I'm doing another one.

I'm doing another one. I'm doing another one. I'm doing another one. Do another one. Do another one. Hi, it's me, Papa John. Better ingredients. Better pussy. Eat your wife. Hi, I'm Eric McCormick from Willing Grace. And I think that take it from a guy who plays a game. Yeah, but it's married to a woman in real life. I think you're an entitled asshole if you don't go down on your wife and you expect the same from her.

Every couple is different, but you really should be doing that without her having to ask about that. Hi, it's me, the leading rusher of all time Emmett Smith. In 1993, I played for the Dallas Cowboys and I rushed for over 3,000 yards But what I don't rush is what I'm eating out my wife Take my time Really kitty Hi, I'm Neil Flynn from NBC's Scribbs

Over 400 people die in car accidents every year Those people could be saved as they were just wearing their seat belts. But I want you to unbuckle that belt, rip those pants off, and let me go to town on that contract. It shouldn't be in the arms of the angel, it should be in the legs of your wife. In the legs. I thought I'd know how we got here.

This will all be cut out. I would love it. In celebrities, they were like, yeah, you agreed to do a PSA, right? But of course, it's helpful. It's helpful. It's like, what's it on? It's on a reciprocating oral sex.

Yeah. How about we do one more of these and then a final listener submitted in the word? And that's the end of the show. In the show forever. Let's do one. Here we go. Less one. This is called one word, solve some mystery. A local merchant was this is a I'm sorry, a local Natalie

merchant was preparing to go on a selling trip after loading his boat. He selling trip to work loading his boat. He waited on a he waited on board for his servant. Seeing the merchant waiting alone, the boatman decided it would be easy to kill him and steal his goods. The boatman quickly attacked and drowned, the merchant and took the goods to his own house. Then he created an alibi. He went to the merchant's house and asked why he had not come to the boat. The merchant's wife had all her servants go looking, but they could find no trace of

him. In time, the investigation reached the magistrate, who sent everyone out of the room except the merchant's wife, and asked her for an exact description of the events at the time that the boatman first came to ask about her husband. My husband had already been gone quite a while, said the wife. When the boatman came to our gate and called, Mistress, why hadn't the master come down yet? Next, the magistrate talked to the boatman who repeated exactly what he had said when he went to the merchant's house. That's it, the magistrate told the boatman,

the merchant was killed and you are the killer. You just confessed. What confession protested the boatman? Do you know what confession? I know it. Oh, I don't know it. Do you want me to say it? Do you want to give some fun dummy answers?

So this is the boatman and he's yelling From the gate to the mistress and that's the confession Did the exact text matter of what he said? So he said mistress why hasn't the master come down yet? Oh because he Misspoke and he said mistress why hasn't the master come drown yet? No, down yet, not drown yet. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,

before the water yet. Oh man, what are you doing? What are you doing? Before, I say the answer, GBC, I'm gonna be the woman and she's up in her window and I want you to come and yell and completely blow it. Sure. Come to her window.

Hello. In your eyes. What? The light hit your eyes. Someone out there. I'm gonna complete your eyes. Hello. Yes, and change.

What are you holding above your head? With the earth and churches. What? Mistress, it's me, the boatman. Look, I, uh. God, what are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head?

What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head?

What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? What are you holding above your head? and was supposed to come down, but he said he was running away with his secretary, Heather. And so he's gone, he splits, and I've always loved you.

And I just came here to let you know. What is your name? Boy, we're getting hung up on this. People call me boatmen. Yeah, but what's your, like when you weren't, you weren't born a boatman, I'm sure. It's Dick's Cox butt. Okay, well I'm gonna have to. Hold. Hold on hold on people call me DCB baby

He would have called her yeah, he called mistress Um, madam Wait, what you called her mistress instead of mistress is she single single and look at a mingle Vingles dredgled the answer, when he came to the merchant's house, he called only for the mistress. He called for her because he knew having killed the merchant. He wasn't there. So instead of saying like, hey, merchant, where are you?

Are you home? Oh, that makes sense. He immediately said, mistress, why hasn't your husband come to the boat? Yeah. And you never talk to a man's wife. You never talk to a man's wife. You never talk to a man's wife. No. Man, I remember. Probably at one of our more sexist episodes. What do you think? Well,

I mean, just any episode. We do almost feel the love as well. I think that it was our most sexist episode by far, but I do think it's important to remember that, you know, going down should be mutual. And if you're a kid who listens to this, I'm fucking sorry. But grow up, kids. No, kids should know. If you're a kid, give us some years. Nothing is more important than consent. That's all that you need to know. Yes, okay, yes.

Nothing is more important than consent. Kids grow up, go down. And consent. I think, oh, yes, that's what I'm saying. Consent's the most important. I'm Zach Braff. Nothing's more important than consent. Grow up, go down. That's the PS'm saying. I'm- Consent's the most important. I'm Zach Braff. Nothing's more important than consent. Grow up, go down.

That's the PSA. Consent. All right, we're gonna close things out with an email. This is from Gregory Heiss. My Heiss. My Heiss school's mascot. What's the boiler maker?

This says, hi, hi guys. You could've said hi hosts. Yeah, he forgot about Aaron. Thanks for making the podcast. I just finished up the first episode. Oh, when was it sent? June of 2018. I just finished up the first episode

and figured I'd send it over a personal favorite. So here is the riddle, listen up because Gregory Heiss says so. Okay. Gregory Heiss was that dancer, right? Great. Yeah. Incredible dancer. Left alone was that dancer, right? Great answer. Incredible dancer. Left alone, I'm a word with five letters.

I'm honest and fair, I'll admit. Rearranged, I'm of no use to trains. Again, and I'm an overt place, warm and well lit. Again, and I'm an overt place, warm and well lit. Ooh, I can't do this one. Left alone, so I feel like it's like four answers. Left alone, I'm a word with five letters. I'm honest and fair, I'll admit. Rearranged, I'm of no use to trains.

Again, and I'm an overt place, warm and well lit. So it's something that is five letters. If you rearrange those five letters, it's something that's of no use to trains. And it's something that's of no use to trains and it's something that if you use twice it's a warm and well lit place sounds like it warm and well lit warm and well lit cave cave what's what's a letter I wonder if that's what that means if it's used twice it's that or used again so I so I

looked at the answer or one of the answers, and when it says again and I'm an over place, it means again rearrange the letters. Oh, got it. So it's like, the first answer is left alone, and I'm a word with five letters, I'm honest and fair, I'll admit. That's what answer we're looking for.

Okay. But then also keep in mind, if you rearrange the letters to this answer, it becomes a word that's of no use to trains, and rearrange again, it becomes an over place, warm and well lit. What's no use to trains? Other trains? They don't drink water.

Roads? Hey, roads? No use to trains? Real quick, JPC. Yeah. Do you train, drink water? Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Chuchu, that's something.

Chew-choo, not gop- I think it's Rhodes. Rhodes are of no use to trains. JPC Rhodes, where we're going, we don't need. But if you rearrange Rhodes, you get a warm and well lit place. God dammit. Do you even look? is it not red? Is it not red?

Is it what? Is it not red? It's not red. Damn it. You're not terribly far off. I will say, wheels. What? One of the hints is left alone, I'm a word with five letters.

It is not five letters, it's four letters, and that is part of the hint. Left alone, I'm a word with five letters. But it's actually four letters. So there's an S. Use that to your advantage in terms of what just happened. Why would they say that? And that will help lead you to the word, like a horse, like a train to water.

What has five letters? You can lead a train to water, but you can't make it drink. Drops of Jupiter. So it's four letters, but if you leave it alone, it's five letters. And three letters took him to his final resting place. Y'all don't hear me. I don't know this. I don't know this either. This is hard.

The answer is liar. The riddle says here, the riddle is tricky. The riddle was tricky as indicated by the title in each of the lines is a lie. Left alone, I'm a word with five letters, the word is actually four letters. I'm honest and fair, I'll admit. Obviously a liar is the antithesis of honest and fair. Rearranged, I'm of no use to trains. Rail, an anagram of liar, is an incredibly important facet to the function of choice.

Oh, so this was opposite day? Again, I'm an over-putting swarming wallet. Layer is another anagram of liar, and it's a hidden dark place, the opposite. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohagram of Liar, and it's a hidden dark place, the opposite. So I guess they're all lies. I should have looked ahead, they're all lies. This was on opposite day. You had to know that it was opposite day to do this riddle.

It is opposite day. JPC, I love you. This is a tricky, tricky little stink. What do you feel about me on opposite day? You are ugly and not talented. That's so mean. Wait, no said it's like, uh, well, it's a trap. I mean, looks like it just turned midnight here at office. Oh, no. 12.01. Perfect. Timey, Gattle. Uh, you can find me. Were you going to say something? I was going to go. You

can email us at hrpodcast.geema.com if you want to send tricky stinky riddles like that and we'll rate your riddle eight months later. And we're on Instagram and Twitter at HeyRiddleRiddle if you want to talk to us about anything else. If you want to tweet at Aaron what bird you think she mentioned in that Patreon episode sounds like you're gonna have to subscribe to her Patreon. It's only five dollars you get an episode every single Friday plus we drop some bonus episodes. And that's that patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. You got that exactly right?

He's making that. Someone to make Aaron some clothes. She's running naked through these woods. Someone go ahead and make Aaron that has. Speaking of giving Aaron half, you can pull our air and keep 10 on Instagram and air and keep two on Twitter, but I don't really tweet. But you have like 2700 followers.

Yeah, but I'm gonna disappoint all of you, and I'm not too many people disappoint. What if you only tweet bird sounds? That's ridiculous. That is actually that's a healthy brand for you. You can find me at Adder Rify, you can come see the show that we all do it. I started Cry.

We can all do a show that I all do it I started cry we can all do a show that I called world is tonight come check it out come say hi afterwards please yell Phoebe Pee Pee Bitty Bitty and you can find me at work I work a day job you can find me there that's where you would come to kill me if you do want to do physical harm this the best way to do it no you can kill me kill do, I don't want you to kill any of us, please don't. And Aaron, with your final breath, with your death rattle, you would probably yell the word.

Jupiter! I'm gonna live forever. Bye, forever. This has been Hey, Real, Real. Created by Adolf Refinel. Sorry, Aaron G. and John Patrick Cullen. Pages, Niders, and the editing. Henry Perage in the mid-medium.

St. Louis Vuitton, D.M. Foto created by M.O.B. Cardamus and M.O.N. Amores. R.A.R.C.O. R.A.R.C.O. R.A.C.O. That was a hitgun podcast.