Hey Riddle Riddle - #342: The Crab Meat Is Loose

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

On today's episode, we explore some lucrative new business opportunities and also do some riddles too. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. And I've got your x-ray right here to look at. Let's take a look. A ton of pain. Whoa. Okay, you are filled with riddles. Oh my god. Yeah, that might be... This is my emotional support at all, by the way. I'm allowed to have him in here, correct? Yes, as long as he has that vest. Bark bark.

Yeah, wow. It's Gucci. Yeah, it looks... it does not fit him. Well no, Vester's supposed to be really tiny, right? Uh, we're gonna have to do emergency surgery. This is too many riddles. This looks like six or seven years. Now that I'm looking at the vest, it is too tiny. You know who got one of those organ grinder monkeys sold it to us if he He he assured us that this was the fit for like 20 25

This was the fit does the fez hat at least look normal size the fez hat looks normal size It is at least yeah, it's at least 20 times too small. I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out I honestly think that that organ grinder monkey ripped us off I hate to say it cuz I don't want to make it seem like all organ grinder But I'm gonna grind his organs before you ask the next hundred questions everything he's wearing is are too small, okay? Okay, not pants What pants oh? What the monkey wasn't wearing pants yeah Yeah, this is just Saran Wrap. I'm sorry.

Yeah, we're going to have to go in there. And just so you know, Doctor, when he said grind that monkey's organs, he wasn't talking about filleting the monkey. No, I was. Okay. Yeah, I would say don't speak for each other. Here's the thing. There's a 10% survival rate on surgeries like this.

So. Okay. That you will survive the surgery? Doctor. I know. I get really scared in there and I have a heart attack. And doctor. I cannot live. This is just me speaking out loud,

but I am hearing a dog barking in the background. And doctor, this is me speaking out loud. We are, you're not, when you, we're, you're not a veterinarian, are you? Yeah, of course. Oh, thank God. Okay, can you help us track down one of your patients? He is an Orchid Grandie monkey.

He's a monkey, yeah, he's a monkey. And also thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. No, I can't. Sir, yes, sir! It's medical privacy, what's that word? Doctor-patient confidentiality. Scrubs?

You know what? Doctor, do all doctors watch Scrubs? Here's a lollipop, yeah, we watch Scrubs. Here's a lollipop. Yeah, we watch scrubs. Here's a lollipop. Here's a bandaid. Ooh, mystery flavor, please. Mystery flavor. Come back in two weeks. If you're still in pain from all the riddles.

And we'll crack you open and shake you loose. Well, I'll tell you what. I'm about to crack open an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm JPC. I'm Adorafy. And I'm Erin Keefe. That's the most normal we've ever said our names. Oh boy, and it's a fun time and we're all having a good time and this is, and everything's fine and this is Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast where everything's fine and it's just, we're

having a good time. My favorite thing about this podcast is everything's fine and we're having a good time. We're having a good time. We're having a good time. Okay. And it's fine. Speaking of everything being fine and having a good time, I was telling you guys before the recording that I was, you know, we have a friendly camaraderie air to the podcast and sometimes we like to like roast each other a little bit. I was telling you, I was absolutely taking Casey's ass, putting it over a fire and roasting him last night.

And he gave me permission to bring this up on the show. So I want to read you some text message that. Casey is our beloved audio engineer editor, who we would be nothing without, just for context. Great guy. Absolute fantastic work ethic. Fantastic finished product, too. I mean, Casey is one of the best in the business.

I would say Casey's maybe one failing is that every month I ask him to send me an invoice for all the hard work that he does. And then I ask him again, and then I ask him again, and then I ask him one more time. And probably about halfway through the month, I finally break down and say, hey, man, you have to send me an invoice. And then Casey might pop on if I'm misrepresenting how this goes in any way.

He didn't hop on, so we can. It's more like a third through the month, to be fair. Okay, sometimes it is a third through the month. And Casey, on a scale of one to 10, how fucked would we be if we had an HR department? You can't answer that. His lawyer shaking his head no. Mm, 11? 11, yeah. Why can't answer that. His lawyer shaking his head no.

11? 11, yeah. Why don't we listen. This is a series of text message exchange between Casey and I. We'll say that this is, I'd say, pretty late into the month with these text messages. That's a date when this is coming out. I said, oh, also, and this is after we had talked about some

episode stuff, oh, also, I was going to ask you, are you cool with working for free this year? I was going over some of my processes that would really help me out. So the proposed process would be this. You enter the recordings, you edit the episodes and all that. But the only change would be that you no longer have to send me monthly invoices. To which Casey said, ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, sorry, I'm laughing Jesus.

To which I said, oh, this isn't a laughing matter. It's a serious business discussion. Honestly, I'm trying to help you here. There's something obviously very terrifying about invoices So like we absolutely don't have to pay you anymore if it's going to be too scary to deal with I'm an ally To which he responded to keep riffing while I fill this out and I said Right said you better hope he's not high. Now this is the point where I was telling Mariah about this and she reminded me that sometimes people like to get high in the evenings.

And this could be terrifying to receive the text message if you're a little bit high. To which case you responded, ha ha ha. And then let's see, a few minutes passed, maybe 10 minutes passed, and I get an invoice to my email inbox. And I said, hey man, just got an invoice from you. Feels like we have our wires crossed.

Do you want to see her respond? Smiling face, smiling face upside down, smiling face, smiling face upside down, angel face, smiling face upside down. Yeah, he was high. Yeah, eyes out. Can I say one thing about JPC's messages that does not read, well, does not read when he reads it, is you may have thought that he just sent like two paragraphs of text that

I responded to. My man sent like 13 text messages. Every possible statement was a different text. So texts were like popping in my phone with alarming frequency as he did this. So is that helpful to you guys? I just wanna understand the kind of the business process behind it, is it helpful? Yeah, if you could start doing that

at the first of the month. First of the month, 14 text messages, invoice, invoice, invoice, invoice. Maybe I text you every five minutes until I get the invoice, Maybe that's the new process. I honestly have an alarm app that goes off every five minutes until I either snooze it or do it. So that works for me for real.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm not trying to inflate anyone's ego here, but our group chat, which I think is called JPC Show Us the Baby. Still. Still. Celebrating about a year anniversary, that being the name of the group chat.

And then the group chat between me, Adel, and JPC is called the Bad News Gang. Isn't that kind of cute, everybody? Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Air. Air, why?

Shut the door, slam, slam, slam. You were thinking, ow, ow, my goodness, I like it when you slam the door on our toes. Ah, we in here roasting Casey, throws Casey keys to my horse, don't scratch the paint. Ah, throws roast at Casey's head, and make it. Throws paint at Casey's horse. Ah, hope you like your horse painted, that's my horse.

Oh no! That's the bad news gay um i i laugh out loud so often at the texts that you guys sent i feel bad for people who don't have your number i'm laughing my ass off all the time well let's put it on the air yeah jbc's number is oh no no no no no nine one one six nine four twenty do nine one one ask for JPC. Well, you know, this brings me to something I wanted to talk about as well, because while we're talking about- Brittles? No, Erin, not even close.

While we were talking about kind of the business side of the podcast and how to get in contact with us, I know this is you know, you may you may not love this But I don't know if you guys see it but every so often we get emails in the hey riddle riddle HR our podcast at gmail.com inbox from like I Would say 90% of it feels like scams, but it's from like marketing companies to be like Hey, we want to help you grow the reach of your podcast or like we want to get you 75,000 views on Instagram or you know, shit like that. Huge. Yeah.

It'd be so huge for us. And the majority of it is it feels like very scam coded. It's like I'll Google the company that someone you know, works for and it's like nothing. And it's like, whatever. Um, I just, you know, delete them on mass. Uh, but the other week we got one from someone and it didn't feel like scammy and then I like looked into the company and I was like, okay, so this is like a legit like marketing

agency for whatever the thing and the guy was like, I want to have a call, you know, and so I emailed him back and I was like, sure, let's do a call. Let's, I'll hear you out to see like what it is that you can offer. And it was, I would say it went pretty well and they seemed like it was legit and they seemed like they had legitimate things that they could do for the show. How much money did you spend overseas? Just get to the point.

Here's the thing. He was a prince, Aaron, a prince. I think the show is good, I like the show and I think that, we asked our listeners, hey, if you like the show, recommend it to someone. I think the show is good. I like the show. And I think that like, it's, it's, we ask our listeners, hey, if you like the show, recommend it to someone. Yeah. I understand that it's hard to do because of what the show is. So I don't blame people for not recommending it.

But any way that we can like reach a new audience, I think that's, you know, that's good for the show. And so what this guy's pitch was is they can use our podcast like analytics and then reach out to terrestrial, terrestrial radio stations alien E.T. Listen I think that's extraterrestrial and terrestrial and they're they got a little bit exactly a little bit something something oh so there we're

like original terrestrial they're extra spicy terrestrial yeah my doctor says my terrestrial is so high that I should eat more Cheerios. He says your terrestrial is Nashville hot, right? You have the bad terrestrial. Yeah. Type one. So we could basically do station identifiers, station call sign identifiers in local markets

where we are more appealing and that would help kind of increase the visibility for the show. So like, so like downtown Portland in the middle of a full moon. I recorded like 10 of these. They're super easy. Um, I already set them off. Uh, and we're basically going to do this as like a test to see if these. Like help us at all.

So I was hoping that we could have you two just record your radio call center identifiers very briefly on the show. Cause I felt, you know, I did it off pod, but we might as well like knock out two birds with one stone. Are you guys up for that? Yeah. Okay, cool. Addle.

This is gonna be something weird you guys. No, no, no. Addle, let's do one of yours first, okay? Yeah, I'll put it in the chat. Go ahead and just give it to me whenever you're ready. Okay. And I do have a question, JPZ. Yeah.

Do you know how, like, news anchors and sports anchors and radio hosts and a slew of other on mic professionals tend to put some mustard on the ball is the business term. Yeah. You know how like a baseball announcer will be like, and that's why DiMaggio's the best in the biz. Cause that person isn't, you know, that person's not going through McDonald's being like, can I get a burger and fries and a large Sprite?

Tom Brady got in a lot of trouble for putting mustard on that ball or doing something to it. I don't know. Or something. Go Pats. Go Pats. He got on a lot of trouble for putting mustard on that ball or doing something to it. I don't know Go Pat go Pat the flight gate. Do you want a little do you want a little radio mustard? I love that I say just be you because they want to hear the the you that is on the podcast so that they'll find the show Okay Hey, it's out of a five from hey riddle riddle and you're listening to k106 st. Louis's home for classic rock

Love help at the end it couldn't help but put a little there's a Way that people who listen to classic rock and st. Louis would like our show By this is this is the marketing demographics Aaron you ready for yours. Yes. Okay, go ahead Hey, it's Aaron key fromfe from Hey Riddle Riddle and you're listening to Z101.1, the hottest hits of the 70s, 90s and today. Awesome. What happened to the 80s?

Well, hold on, skip the 80s. Yeah, the 80s and the 2000s, they don't, especially, yeah, that's great, Aaron, you nailed it. Addle, here's your next one. Okay. And I'm gonna have a little, I realize why people do that now, that voice, because otherwise it's too low energy. Exactly. It's too conversational. Okay.

Yeah, this is a first impression for you for people. All right, here we go. Here's JBC just sent me the next one. Hey, it's Adel Raffae from Revolver and you're listening to the Applebee's Neighborhood Bar and Grill corporate approved playlist. Awesome, that's gonna be huge for us. Revolver was Adel's Herald team at the I.O. huge for us Adels Herald team at the IO in Chicago very good herald Their data says that that's what people are interested in. So, okay. Hi I'm Erin Keefe from what bus and you're listening to hot 95.5 Columbia College's only station for experimental hyper pop up next. We've got frill brillet car We've got frill, brillet, carasic, farc, and wim dimly in the Pflugins.

Let me take that again. Up next we've got frill, brillet, carasic, farc, and wim dimly in the Pflugins. No, I'm looking at the text and it doesn't say any of that. Erin, are you? No, it's great Erin, because they want this to sound real. They want this to sound real. Adelie, you're up next.

It's Adelie Refai and you're listening to 12 Hour Nature Sounds Relaxation Perfect Meditation Renewal Deep Sleep Adderall Drink Water on YouTube 11 hours to go. Awesome, love it. Aaron, it's you next. Aaron Keefe here and you're in Terminal K of Boston Logan International Airport and legal seafood is out of crab. The shells, not the meat. There is plenty of crab the shells is not the meat

There's plenty of meat left. We just can't put it in the crab shells like we normally do I'm Eric Keefe I'm Eric Keefe and the crab meat is loose. Okay. Oh, that's a good. That's a sign-off call That's a catch. If I do that one again I I can do it better. No, we got it clean. I think we got it clean. Hey, here's the- why don't we have Addle do one? Let's have Addle do one. I'm Addle Refine, you fell asleep in the Wendy's drive-thru. Please pull forward and claim you're Baconator or the authorities will be called. Awesome, got that one. Great. Aaron, you're up next. Here we go. Hey, it's Aaron Key from Insert Exact Address address and you're on the wrong side of the glass of the octopus exhibit at the Brookfield too. I think they want you to insert your exact address.

I don't think they want you to read that. It's fine, it's fine. Addle, you're up next. We can add it in post. Addle Raffae here from Hey, we're the Riddle and you're watching a TikTok of a cat making pudding. You're too high to watch this right now. Like it and go to bed.

Like it? That's good, that's what the demographics now. Like it and go to bed. Like it? That's good. That's what the demographics say. Erin, it's all you. It's your girl Erin Keefe and you're listening to a Hillary Duff PSA from 2008 where she says, Don't say gay when you mean something is bad. Knock it off. Great PSA and a lot of traction on that with our audience. Adel, you're up.

I'm Adel Raffaele, this is x86thebear. It's 2.45 a.m. and you're listening to DJ Keyzarek have a full blown breakdown while playing Never Had No One Ever by the Smiths on repeat for two hours while he desperately calls all of his exes and leaves rambling voicemails. That's a big market for us. All right, Erin.

Erin, let's finish. Oh my god, they're getting longer. Hi, I'm Erin Keefe and you're listening to A Little Angel on Your Shoulder telling you to not stick your whole hand in your younger, uglier cousin's wedding cake, but you should be listening to the little devil on your other shoulder. Samantha doesn't deserve happiness and this would have been your special day if she hadn't pushed you onto those train tracks. Awesome. Okay, you guys are doing great. These are so good. Well, Aaron, that one's a little close to home for you.

I know. I think that this is really going to help the show. I think we have just one more. Addle, go ahead and give me this one clean. Hey, it's Addle Riffai from Hey Riddle Riddle and you're listening to me list every slur I know. Starting with... And then I think they want you to just... You know what? That's fine. We don't have to read them all. That one maybe...

Yeah, there's probably a ton more, right? Aaron, why don't we just do yours? It's like your final one. Let's do your final one. It's Aaron Keefe from Hey Riddler Riddle and you're listening to Adam or Filist, every slur he knows. Starting with... Huh.

Uh. Uh. I don't know why. Alabama? I don't know why, but I guess those last two were part of our target market. You guys did such a good job. Oh, you know what?

I have one that I didn't read. You guys mind if I just finish off with mine? Oh, yeah, please. Hey, it's JPC from Hey, Roto-Verto, and you're listening to the normal radio. OK, great. Fuck you. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I mean, I got to read this one again because I think it's my favorite comedy thing I've ever read. Erin Keefe here and you're in terminal K of Boston Logan, Boston's Logan International Airport and legal seafood is out of crab. The shells, not the beat. There's plenty of meat left. We just can't put it in the crab shells like we normally do. A Maren Keefe and the crab meat is loose. And do you want to know what?

I wrote that one at the Boston Logan International Airport, and that's the first one that I wrote. You're kidding. So when was that? That was like, October. Years ago. That was October.

Fifth or something? Yeah. And the reason why there were like messages that were going on in the airport. And I thought, oh, this would be a fun bit for the show. And then I forgot about it. And it was just that line was just on my phone for like six months. I didn't know you had to be so precious on your phone for that long.

I know that's it's it was an HRR ideas folder, which might as well be a fucking trash bin for all the good. What's in there? That's crazy. All right. You guys ready to do some riddles? That's the darkest corner of the internet is JPC's ideas for the show. That's some dark web shit. And if you like that, that's what the show sounds like when we put in a little bit of effort. So maybe maybe maybe we'll do some of that for 2025.

But your brain is like Silk Road for insanity. Yes, Addle. Wow, that's such a compliment. I love that as a compliment. And that's how I choose to receive it. And I hear it as a compliment. Are you guys ready for some riddles? Yes, please.

Yes. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Air cutter, wind slicer, gravity teaser, spin skimmer, curve swerver, dipper and lifter, climber and diver, tossed across space between friends, where I begin, I end. Roller coaster. I thought these were all nicknames for Amelia Earhart. Hahahaha

Wind Slicer. Curve Swerver is a... Curve Swerver sounds like a D&D character I would have made up in like 2006. Yeah. Uh... I'd like to see a scene. Oh, please. Uh, you are two guys on a roller coaster and while the roller coaster is going, you're trying to plan what face you want to make for the photo. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we like mouth open but happy. Oh, oh, yeah

Maybe not not mouth open maybe mouth like Because we both ate six hot dogs before we got on this so it's like the more open the mouth I think like the more risk that you know, cuz they take it at the worst possible Yeah, yeah And I also brought it I brought a 32 inch TV and it then 64 so we can pull it out look like we're playing At the exact time cuz that's so smart. Was that what flew off immediately? Yeah. Yeah, I think it hit somebody behind me I don't want to look back. Yeah for sure there is I yeah I think there's a guy with a weird neck

right behind us and it may have been getting hit with a. Click. Okay, so we're. Okay, we're at the part of the roller coaster where Adam Sammler finds the remote. Okay, this is very exciting. I love themed roller coasters. I'll make me too.

I'll make me too. See. I got it right though, right? You just click here and I honestly forgot about the camera part of the scene. I was like, how click? I got it right though, right? You just click here and I honestly forgot about the camera part of the scene. I was like, how could I? Because you're so used to taking photos on your phone.

You forget to feel the earth under your feet. Wow. Great. Those are beautiful lyrics. Have you guys seen the whole thing where people bring items to pull out during the photo part of Disney rides? I've not. I've seen one where somebody has a old school TV and then two other people

have wired controllers and they're playing like PlayStation or something. How did they get an old school TV into the theme park? Aaron, that's the thing. It is insane. Like, I will send you a album. Yes, please. All the shit people have brought onto roller coasters to get a picture. Do it.

But what should we do? Oh, because like, how do they do it? all the shit people have brought onto roller coasters to get a picture. Do it. But what should we do? Cause like, how do they do it? If you're like Disney, like you don't let people bring a big TV. JBC, man. I'm the messenger. I don't know the ins and outs. Do they have like a drawing? Do they have like a picture of it?

Like they're holding a picture so that the picture makes it look like they have a TV. I mean, here's the thing. I could be duped in this is Photoshop, but it seems like there's people who their whole pride and joy is sneaking things into theme parks and getting pictures on roller coasters. You guys, I have a really good idea. Yeah.

Adel and I are in the second seats together, and JPC and a mannequin are in the first seat. And we take the head off the mannequin, and JPC holds the head. And then when the photo comes, we all are screaming. It looks like our friend's head came off. I also don't really know about sneaking things into Disney, because I've only been to Disney, no, I've been twice.

I've been to the one in LA, and I've been to the one in Florida. But the last time I was in the one in Florida, there were people with wagons full of stuff because you can bring in food and shit into Disney. So maybe it's relatively easy to, quote unquote, sneak a bunch of stuff into Disney. I don't know if you can be sneaking electronics. A TV. Yeah.

Yeah, that seems... Didn't Banksy sneak in sculptures or something? Right? Didn't Banksy sneak in like sculptures or something, right? Didn't Banksy do something at Disney and it can Banksy and Disney collab. Is that something they can do? I wish oh a Banksy Disney a Mickey Mouse, but he's got like a gun He's and he's and it's about the war There's a tank and there's balloons for some reason. Yeah And it's and it's about the war. There's a tank and there's balloons for some reason. Oh, yeah, balloons. And it's about the war.

It's about the war. What war? And there's a line of a little kid, and it's about the war. What war? Well, okay, Aaron, tell me you don't know about the world with that telling me you don't know about the world. What war?

Obviously. Can you read the riddle again? Big ones. Yeah, and Aaron, you didn't get it. Air cutter, wind slicer. I didn't get it. It's not a roller coaster. What are we fucking talking about?

That's crazy. Okay, read it again. Air cutter, wind slicer, gravity teaser. Spin skimmer, curve swerver, dipper, and lifter, climber, and diver toss across space between friends where I begin, I end. Frisbee. It's a frisbee.

These also sound like old timey baseball pitches. It also could be a boomerbee. It's a frisbee. These also sound like old timey baseball pitches. It also could be a boomerang. It is a frisbee. Wow, good job, Aaron. Great job, Aaron. Yeah, these do sound like baseball pitches. I'd like to see a scene. The air cutter, the wind slicer, the dipper, and the lifter.

JPC, you are the captain of the Ultimate Frisbee team. And you're giving us a speech because we're all, you don't think the team is taking it seriously enough. Got it. All right everybody gather around, gather around. Good stuff out there I would say. Lotus position? What's that? Should we be in lotus? Yeah, and Brian go ahead and just let us know what you think lotus position is. Yeah, and Brian go ahead and just let us know what you think Lotus position is. Put my head by my feet? No, incorrect.

Brian, no, that's more of like a yoga position. Hey guys! Yeah, what if we all just smoked a joint and got root beer floats? That sounds pretty good after... Kelly, I love that. We might be doing that after the game, but for now, even though we're still down six points, let's try to like, just do our best to play Ultimate Frisbee. Oh, we're in the middle of a game.

Yeah, yeah. So, a real quick reminder of how Ultimate Frisbee works. You're allowed to move when you don't have the Frisbee. You only have to be standing still when you have the Frisbee. Wow. Well, the path to enlightenment is moving with or without the frisbee. Ryan, I don't know what that means. I gotta admit-

But it doesn't- it can't have anything to do with ultimate frisbee, right? I gotta admit, when she said smoke weed and get a root beer float, I already started smoking. Yeah, no, yeah, I could see that. So basically what we're doing right now, and I love it, is we're all standing at the goal line, smoking weed, and drinking root beer. And reading Howard Zinn. Yeah, I've have seen, Brian, I have seen you.

That's a big book too. People's History of the United States, that's a pretty big book for a game of Ultimate Frisbee. Pretty big history. Coleman, can you remind us of the stakes of this? It's just us playing another dorm, right? Yeah, just an inner-year-old. We're playing East Hall?

Yeah, we're just playing East Hall. Well, here's the thing. I guess there are no stakes. That's good because we're vegans. Well, we're all having root beer floats. So I don't know how vegan we are, huh? What do you mean? That's ice cream is dairy and that-

What? Huh? I actually heard- I knew about this earlier and I didn't want to introduce a whole thing that was going to make us not focus on the fact that we're not playing Ultimate Frisbee. We're not? And it's fine if no one wants to play Ultimate Frisbee, but this is like a volunteer thing, so if you don't want to play the game, you don't have to be here. No, I like- I like Frisbee. And it's fine if no one wants to play Ultimate Frisbee, but this is like a volunteer thing. So if you don't want to play the game, you don't have to be here. No, I like Frisbee.

I like Frisbee. We should play. We should get a group together and we should play. Oh, that would be amazing. That's truly what this is. Yeah, we could get a group together and maybe it's like all of us in West Hall and then we could like... We play East Hall. Like East Hall and North Hall and South Hall. And then there's like all of us in West Hall. And then we could like. We play East Hall. Like East Hall and North Hall and South Hall.

And then there's like a tournament every year. Whoever wins the tournament gets a trophy. We should put something like that together. We should put something like that together. Yeah. I'm gonna run over and pitch the idea to the East Hall guys. You guys hang out. Hang out real quick.

I'm just gonna run over and pitch the idea to the East Hall guys Hey guys, we're gonna forfeit again Good news cuz we are high over here, but we didn't have an idea. What if we Yeah, we get a bunch of people together See, see. So, so stupid. It's so stupid. Ultimate Frisbee, it's just two groups of people on a different side of a quad smoking weed and drinking milkshakes.

The same, they should play Ultimate Frisbee at some point. Ah! And everyone's holding an acoustic guitar. That does kind of feel like, like how a dormitory organized Frisbee thing would go with one person who cares about it, and everybody else is like, I'm here because we do, there's pizza, right?

Like the college gave us a budget for pizza. I joined the juggling club in high school because I wanted the sweatshirt. And did you get it? Yeah. And then I wore it. Do you still have it? Yeah, it's in my house in Massachusetts. Can we see it?

I didn't know you were down with the clown, Erin. Well. ICP? It was more like a kid who knew how to juggle and he was passionate about it and he wanted to teach us. Okay. Yeah, you got it. I heard, okay.

Yep, you added a. Yeah. Yep. An O. An O to the end of juggle. Juggle. Yep, okay. Let's do another riddle.

So much fago. Fago, Fanto, fago. Fago. Fanto. Wanna, wanna, Fantoago. Fago? Fanto? Fago. Fago. Fago. Wanna, wanna, Fanto. Wanna Fanto? Wanna wanna Fago.

Magnets, how do they work? I bring you music. I cover cold creatures. To read me. You must step on me. Alright, that doesn't sound how bad, getting stepped on? Huh? I can't be the only guy that likes to get a... Step on my neck.

The wind? It's not the wind. What was it? I cover bugs. To read me, you must step on me. Man. I hope she's not wearing stiletto heels when she steps on me.

It's like a gravestone? That would be bad. Ow. Your mic is on. Huh? Ha ha ha. I bring you music, I cover cold creatures. To read me, you must step on me.

Mm. Mm. Like a cricket. The moon. Cricket. The air, you said the moon? No, I didn't. No, couldn't possibly.

I make music, I cover creatures. I bring you music. I bring you music. It's not necessarily I make, it's I bring you music. Oh, coconuts. Were you guys alive when coconuts was a thing? The record store? Coconuts.

No, the record store coconuts? There's a music store called Coconuts and they were in every mall and you would go to Coconuts to get your music. That's where I got the Power Rangers movie soundtrack on consent. Was it Ranger? Aaron, do you know Coconuts?

Addle. Addle. Whoa. My fingernails are growing. Oh, my skin is receiving. I have no idea what Addle is talking about. I don't know what coconuts is. We had a chain of record stores growing up called Karma, Karma Records.

We had the movie Empire Records. There was Sam Goody, I believe, was a record store. We had Newberry Comics in Massachusetts. I know coconuts It's not that either way okay, okay I bring you music I cover cold creatures to read me you must step on me Each one of these lines describes this thing in a different way Okay, just like a word that maybe has a few different meanings or if you're bringing uses I would say tape vinyl record a record is this like Darwin or something no it is not I like where your

heads out because record definitely has different uses but it's not record CD disc I know bring you music you weren't close with record waves record is one of those things that has multiple you know meanings sound wave a I actually like this one. I would say this riddle... We've been doing these cards that someone sent me and this riddle is, I would say, one of the more medium hard ones. Okay. Come get a tiny little... Just a little sprinkle of Clue. How best to help you guys. Okay. I cover cold creatures. What are we thinking? What's a cold creature? Reptile. Okay. I cover cold creatures. What are we thinking? What's a cold creature? Reptile. Okay.

The sun? No. A terrarium? That is a good way for- A lamp. It's less about, it's more about what's on the rep. Scales. Battle of scales. Scales.

The musical scales. The music, musical scales. Reptiles have scales. And to read me, you must step on me. That is a scale for like your weight, basically. Don't tread on me. I do want to see a scene. Yeah. Um, the two of you are snakes,

and you are in the studio about to lay down your first album. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss back at the mic that might be that might be a mic issue are you sure it's us it's a mic issue yeah it is you okay and we are and recording where are you team Those guys are snakes! Oh my god. They're all snakes. Um, wow that would be crazy because Tom DeLonge is like getting everybody looking for aliens

yet the whole time he's like a lizard person. Wow. Mr. X. Classic Mr. X. With snakes more like Don't Blink 182. I guess they have those nicotine eyelids or whatever. We'll figure it out! We'll take a quick break and we'll be back with more What Are Snake's Eyelids. Don't blink, 182. Adol, that is so good.

That took me so long. My brain took like forever to process it. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Is it cold out here or is that creeping chill coming from our own minds? That makes sense because this year has been pretty difficult so far. Not naming names or months that were terrible. January, February, looking at you.

Not going to name years. 2025, looking at you. But what can we do about it? How can we feel better? Wait a second. I just had a million dollar idea. I mean, it's not really a million dollar. It'll pay us a million dollar. But if they wanted to, they could. If they wanted to bump up our fee. Are you about to invent therapy? Because that already exists.

And you can get it through BetterHelp. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient and serving over 5 million people worldwide. You can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Ooh, cold. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost.

I use BetterHelp. This works for how my brain works, which is I like to be able to message my counselor anytime when I'm actually experiencing something and it helps so much again not looking at you any months January February months and if you want to those people out there that says I don't know about online therapy I don't know if it's right for me let me demystify the whole thing by telling you exactly what the process is you show up you're sitting basically in front of your computer or whatever your your therapist shows up, you tell them what is making your brain freezing cold and then they say tell me more about that and you kind of talk

through it and you leave the session and maybe your brain feels a little bit warmer. Now doesn't that sound pretty nice? Oh that sounds, that's warming my heart, my soul, my brain. Not too bad, not too bad, you can see, ah, it's better sometimes. So discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Riddle today to get 10% off your first month. Ah, I feel so warm. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Riddle.

And if you're wondering why we said discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp, maybe we were supposed to talk about relationship green flags up at the top. It doesn't matter. We didn't actually have to, but that's just for context for people. We're wearing green flags. We're wearing green flags. We're wearing green flags. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

Erin, JPC, come on in. Welcome. Welcome to Riddle Manor. Ooh. in JPC come on in welcome welcome to Riddle Manor. Oh you kind of like decorated your house for Halloween or something early or something like that okay I made a website on Squarespace. Sure. Riddle Manor I'm not gonna say a website but I made it with Squarespace therefore I made my dreams come true. Oh you're thinking about Squarespace the all- made my dreams come true. Oh, you're talking about Squarespace,

the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online? Yes, Erin, and no doy. Oh, okay. Okay, and that somehow translated into riddle manner. Is this an actual house or am I in cyberspace? Is this like a matrix thing that's happening? Squarespace makes it easy to sell access to content on your websites, like online courses,

blogs, videos, memberships, spooky hauntings. Earn recurring revenue by gating your content behind a paywall, simply set the price and choose whether to charge a one-time fee or a subscription for access. Oh, and look at if I grab this book off the library shelf, it comes off and I open it up and there's riddles inside. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's a book, standard book. Yeah, it's a book. What did you expect? Nothing. I get what's happening.

With Squarespace, you can use Squarespace Payments, which is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place with Squarespace. Onboarding is fast and simple. You can get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, you can give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna,

ACH Direct Deposit in the US, Apple Pay, Afterpay in the US and Canada, and Clearpay in the merry old UK. Ooh. And Erin, watch. When I walk by this painting, the eyes stay put because they're painted. That is haunting. Get discovered fast with integrated SEO tools. Every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto-generated sitemap and more, so you can

show up more often to more people and global search engines. And Adel, I'm finally happy to say, I get what this is. This is regular house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Online, in a website. Our podcast is already so haunted,

I figured we just have a regular house that people can come visit. Got it. Now it all makes sense. It's all clicking. Our podcast is the thing that's different, and everything else is regular. And it's a website and it's all live.

So check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch squarespace.com slash Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hey Riddle, Riddle the podcast. Everything's normal except the house is normal, but the podcast is weird and it's in its riddle manner and it's a house with a book and a painting. A succinct tagline. We love it. It's perfect. $50 for tickets. $50 tickets. $50 for tickets. We're back into it and normally I would say when we take a little break in the

podcast we don't actually take a break but we did take a little break in the podcast. We don't actually take a break, but we did take a little break. And Adel, you went and got yourself a little coffee. Yeah. I've been getting into espresso since Mariah got me an espresso machine for my birthday. And I'm truly getting into deep espresso pervert behavior. But it also. All the Sabrina Carpenter fans go wild. Yeah, me included.

It also is one of those things where it takes a while to make an espresso. It's not like it's not it's not quick. Like I can't just like it's not like brewing a pot of coffee and just go get a little more. So now I'm actually drinking less coffee because I'm like, do I want to spend five minutes doing this? Good deterrent. Yeah, do you feel like you've got it down? Because I feel like last time I talked to you, you were testing out the machine. Do you feel like you got it down?

Yeah. So I'll shout out to my friends, Johnny O'Mara, but I've been on the podcast before and Harrison Lott, who were both baristas, former baristas, former Starbucks baristas. And they both graciously came over to my house and it helps me diagnose what I was doing wrong And I now I feel like pretty confident that I'm doing most things correctly So, you know look for the helpers if you are a person who wants to be a coffee stop I text your friends text your friends that you think have a barista vibe It probably turns out that they did serve coffee at one point and they may be I forgot that Harrison was a barista. Yeah.

I think both of them were like baristas 10 years ago too. So they were like, I think this is right. And I was like, okay, Hey, it's better than what I have. Now, Aaron, on the break, it looks like you got a neck tattoo. This says loose crab meat. I did. Yeah. It was expensive and I, the tattoo shop closed down like right after I got it.

So I think it was unsanctioned. Is it bleeding? It's in the process of closing down. I did run and get my heating pad because it is absolutely freezing in my house right now. So there's a heating pad up my stomach. On your stomach? Yeah.

Interesting. Where would I put it? Is it helpful with digestion or? I feel like a lot of people do like the back or, yeah, or like sit on, but the front is interesting. People sit on their heating pad? Yeah. I'd say yeah.

What? Have you ever had a car with heated seats? Yeah, of course, but why would I sit on my heating? Why do I want a hot butt? Do you not keep your butthole at a roasty toasty? Oh my God, is your butthole not supposed to be freezing? In case you don't know. Adel, are you serious? Is your butthole not supposed to be freezing? In case you don't know. Adil, are you serious?

Is your butthole not supposed to be freezing cold? Guys, please tell me. Do not clip that, by the way. Fuck you. We'll talk about clipping it, but we will clip it. No, we won't. Because we gotta, now we do have to. Now I'm fucking paranoid.

Now I'm scared to talk on this show. Yeah, stay mad. I invite you to stay mad. Isn't it, well, like when... But your stomach, and I feel like it just, it wouldn't, when... But your stomach, Aaron, I feel like it just wouldn't... With your back, you're leaning back into it, so you're applying pressure between the back of your chair and the heating pad so that...

But on your stomach, are you just pressing it down into your... Yeah, it's like on my stomach, like this way. OK. Well, when people like... Oh, and you've got your arms kind of holding it in. Yeah, I have my arms holding it in. When people are about to drown,

you are supposed to warm up their organs. Like, if you pulled them out of cold water or something. Oh, you cut them open, take out their organs. You're supposed to warm their torso, like where their heart is. So I feel like this is, it helps my whole body stay warm. Got it. Erin.

What? I hate to call you out. Did you learn that from Batman Begins when Bale falls through the ice and Liam Neeson says warm your torso your arms will take care of themselves you think that I've seen that movie more than months you're sorely mistaken the first one in the third one of that trilogy I saw one time in theaters and never again the second second one I have seen 100,000 times, as many of us have.

Mariah and I are rewatching some Bond movies, and we rewatched Goldfinger. And there's an iconic scene in Goldfinger. It's one of the 60 Sean Connery Bond movies, where the bad guy Goldfinger kills a woman by painting her whole body gold. And James Bond says to his boss, he's like, yeah, it was skin suffocation is what killed her.

And me and Ryan both stopped the movie and we're like, no, that's not. James Bond confidently said skin suffocation. Like that was a thing that exists. We don't, we're not taking oxygen through our arms. Hey, no, we're not. We do not breathe through our skin, James Bond. One time- I'm sure the actress died by lead poisoning.

Yeah, but we looked it up, and it was just a thing that Ian Fleming made up. Oh, right. But when they were filming that movie in the 60s, they were so concerned that it was a real thing that they had a doctor on set when they were like painting this woman's body gold to like make sure she didn't skin

suffocate and they were like we raced to get the gold paint off as soon as possible. And I was like, that's insane. Was that the first time in history anyone's had their body painted? What are we doing? What do we think to make up a medical thing and then to be scared that it might happen? To have a doctor there as well? Yeah, that's ego, Aaron. You're right.

That's pure ego. The doctor's like, well, I don't want to tell them that this is nothing because I am getting paid to be here. So I don't want to like blow up my own spot. It's like, I hope I don't get fire shoulders. A thing I just made up. It's like, well, I'm so brilliant. Fire shoulders might be a real thing. Doctors, what do you say?

All right, speaking of doctors, hold on. Let me see. Is this a segue? It's not. Happy to report it is not a segue. This has nothing to do with doctors. We're going to read another riddle. My round mouth, Casey Clippett, will never talk. Where I vomit, there you walk.

Sewer, a manhole. Wow, it's not a manhole. My mouth is round and doesn't talk. My round mouth will never talk. Where I vomit, there you walk. What's the thing, like the, you know, what does the gutters in a house connect to? Where it drains out.

Spout, spigot. Spigot, spout. You know what I'm talking about? Like where the rain drains out from. Yeah, is that just a- The roof? Spout, spigot. Spout, spigot. You know what I'm talking about? Like where the rain drains out from. Yeah, is that just a- The roof? Spout, spigot. A spout?

No, like it come like, like- Well, I know the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Forget it. I can't think of it. A hose. Ooh. A fire hydrant.

Hey, I got a question for you guys. In the itsy bitsy spider, we're all familiar with the song. Ooh. A fire hydrant. Hey, I got a question for you guys. In the Itsy Bitsy Spider, we're all familiar with the song. Yes. When the Itsy Bitsy Spider climbs up the water spout, what is in your mind, what is the spider climbing up? The thing I'm trying to think of in my head. The thing on the side of a house.

Yeah, I'm thinking of- The gutter that goes down. Yeah, the gutter that goes down. Your aluminum gutters, and then they all feed into a long tube. That's what I was trying to think of then they all feed into a long tube, and then it has a spout, like a little angled spout, to shoot it out way from the house.

Yeah, that's what I think of too. Is that a water spout? I have a book that has little songs in it. Not for me, it's for a child. But it's like the itsy bitsy spiders in there, and it's art depicting the itsy bitsy spider, and they have the itsy bitsy spider climbing up a watering can.

And I'm like, that's not the water spout that the itsy bitsy spider climbs up. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. The rain would not. Pouring the water from, that's not rain. That's not even rain. Came the sun and dried up all the rain. Yeah, so I'm looking into my options.

Rain and again are rhymed in that song. I don't like that very much. They have the... It's a pretty spider climbed up the spout again. They have the address of the publisher there. So I'm looking to drive to like New York and see if I can kind of... Fist fight.

Do what needs to be done. Swing your dick around Harper Collins. Not actionable, not actionable. My round mouth will never talk. Where I vomit, there you walk. Mm. It's not a fire hydrant. Is it Mickey Rooney?

It's not Mickey Rooney. It's water that goes to the ground somewhere. A sprinkler. It's not water, Erin. My round mouth will never talk, will never talk. Where I go, people walk? Where I vomit. Vomit.

Disgusting, but kind of accurate. Is it liquid that comes out of it? That shouldn't be a complicated question. Yeah, vomit's liquid. I wouldn't call it liquid, but it's like, they're, hmm. No, it's not really liquid, but there are aspects to it that follow the same properties as a liquid would. Like a maple syrup or a honey.

Yeah, exactly, like it's- Butt hole, 90 degrees. That's not a butt hole. My round mouth never talks. Where I vomit, there you walk. Yeah. What do you walk? Yeah, what are you walking on? Sidewalk. Okay, great. Oh. Sidewalk. Yeah. Perfect. My round mouth will never talk.

Where I vomit, there you walk. Alright. Okay. Sidewalk. Sidewalk is where where what what would vomit a sidewalk trash can the cement mixer Aaron It is a concrete mixer. Oh, what did I say cement cement quite right? Well cement and concrete Similar well, what's what? What is it? It's like my dad was a concrete man for many years I know the answer to this. Oh. Concrete is in cement, but cement is not concrete. It's like whiskey bourbon.

It's like, I always forget. I think concrete is like cement plus particulates plus water. It's like a mix of the thing. We can't Google, We can't Google. But you know when you know something, you just don't know something? That's how I feel about the difference between concrete and cement. One of them is inside the other one.

Ooh, they're dating. I do want to see. We can't Google. Okay, yeah. And this is going to be based on where I vomit there you walk at all. You are trying to tell Aaron, a stranger, on the street, that they just stepped in something, but you're trying to be like as gentle because you're approaching a stranger as you possibly can be, but you just also want them to know.

What do you, what do you mean I'm fired? Oh my god. This is the worst day of my life. I got broken up with this morning. Oh, should I say something? Oh, my rent got increased. I should say something. Carl? My grandpa died last night and you're saying you're firing me over the phone? I thought I was getting a promotion today on my birthday. Ma'am, ma'am.

Sorry. Sorry. This guy on the street is trying to talk to me. Yes? My name is Robert. I'm not a guy. I'm not like a Billy Eichner type I just have a microphone, but it's like just a comfort thing. I don't want to be on the TV sir What do you mean? I don't get any sort of pension or oh god. There's no Firing package. I'm good. Yeah, you know if you give me two weeks. I have no money saved You just you're actually sorry this guy's trying to talk to me again. Yes, so sorry Robert I'm the same guy from before I don't that didn't walk away I learned a stranger's name on the streets or that's insane. It just seems like common decency you actually just Wait, I'm getting a call from the vet. Oh

God Marbles, please be hello. Hey, it's marbles. Look, I made a big mistake. I want you back, baby. I know I broke up with you this morning, but uh, I'm your vet boyfriend. I wanna take care of you. I wanna give you everything you ever wanted. Go suck a duck. Wow, I guess you have a dog's name you go into being a veterinarian, right? Can I help you have a dog's name you go into being a veterinarian right? Can I help you sir? We had the phone on speakerphone so I could help listen you just

you just stepped in one of the National parks of this neighborhood. It's a little just like a four by four hole of swampland And it looks like you got What a creature Here in town, we have a national park and it's a four by four hole of marsh, swampland. Sort of a extension of the Everglades. Robert, Robert! Oh, I'm so sorry, man, my dog got off leash.

He wasn't bothering you, was he? Feed. My name's Marbles. You look distraught. Can I buy you a drink? Oh, that's a weird loop. Marbles was a dog for sure. Ah! I haven't had the dating game for a while.

Is that not what you say? You look distraught. May I buy you a drink? Yeah, that's exactly what you say. Someone's read the game. I know that I'm supposed to make them. You look distraught. Okay, here's your next one.

Ready? Go down light, come up heavy. Never get to keep the stuff I carry. Come up heavy, go down light. Nothing else to do, but that's all right. Water. Reverse sleeping? Could you read it again?

Nope. I want to see the scene. Adeline, you're going to be a scientist and you're going to be giving a lecture on the process of reverse sleeping, a new process that you have just kind of coined. Who here knows about sleep? All hands go up.

I'm not even gonna turn around, I assume all hands are up. Who here knows about reverse sleep turning around? See two hands up? That's weird. We were at your last talk. Yeah, we're just here to support. Good luck, bud. We're at the 930.

You crushed. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now when we're sleeping, which is typically six to nine hours a day for any healthy adult, six to nine, wink, wink, see what I did there, right? Six dash nine, make the dash real small so I get a cheer from the college kids. Oh, that got a way bigger laugh at the 930. Now, scientists have studied sleep for 60 years

and all they've come up with is, we go to sleep because we get sleepy. That's not, that doesn't feel right, right? This is not as good as the 930. We should know more about why we sleep versus, that doesn't feel right. The fact that we only know that we sleep because we get sleepy... What are we doing as sleep study scientists, right?

This is the same guy, right, from 930? I think he panicked because the 69 joke didn't get a laugh this time. Um, well what if I... I saw him drop all his note cards into his glass of water. He shouldn't have had such tiny note cards. Do you see how index cards dissolve? Um, when you wake up from sleep, you're no longer sleeping. But isn't life a waking dream? Nietzsche, I believe, said, or maybe it was Camus. Camus? His name isn't Camus. Albert Camus. Maybe it is. We can't Google word class.

Listen, what we're doing now is reverse sleeping. I Would everyone to stand on your desks like in that movies everyone stand on your desk like that. Oh Oh, I'm so sorry. Obviously these desks are like not made for 20 pounds. I'm so sorry. You said 20 pounds at the 930 That's all they can hold. What if they have heavy book? Okay, this is not my fault. I didn't know um Everyone here gets some nerds. Let's pass around those boxes of nerds we got. Guy in the corner with a big empty box

just shaking his head wildly. No, no! Oh, it looks like the nerds are on a delay. What did you call us? No, not you, the candy, the hard candy hard candy the little I was gonna say the little runs But runs is a different candy. There's so many candies. I Didn't I said runs I called that woman a run 69

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk Go down light come come up heavy, never get to keep the stuff I carry. Come up heavy, go down light, nothing else to do, but that's all right. Water. It's not water, Aaron, but water, I would say, is a component of the answer.

But the answer is not water. What did you say, soda? Cement? Soda. That's a bit, and it's not soda either. It's not ice. Go down light, come up heavy. Yeah, great, great guess there.

Water would be involved in this. In fact, I would say that never get to keep the stuff I carry. That's referring to the water. Sponge. A sponge? It's not a sponge. That's a really, another really great guess. I gotta say, you guys are doing really great with your guesses today.

Ugh, shut up. Thank you, daddy. Every time you guess, I'm like, damn, this is actually fucking close. Okay. Crab meat. It's crab meat! Oh, the butter is the thing they can't,

go down like come up heavy. Is this like a submarine? That's just bugs from the sea, huh, isn't that gross? Wait, what do you say? There's bugs that live in this you don't need to ruin seafood for me today We eat them because they're like well, they're just but they're like bugs, but they're underwater bugs So they it's got to be better to eat right? But it's about things one of the funniest things To me ever to imagine is that in the olden days, they used to give lobsters to prisoners

because they thought they were disgusting little sea bugs. Bottom feeders, yeah. And so prisoners were eating lobster every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, being like, no, please stop. And they're like, nope, you gotta eat these sea monsters. And they're like, no, oh, clarified butter, please. Oh, no.

But yeah, they probably weren't getting also like- Have the orange champagne for you guys. A bunch of like butter sauce, right? Cause isn't that the best? I don't, I don't eat any of these sea creatures, but isn't that the best part about it? Yeah, yeah. Is eating the butter?

The best part of all seafood is the butter. But I'll be honest, that's the best part of cooking. Butter. Butter, garlic. Yeah. Salt. Salt, butter, garlic. Why not?

Fat acid heat. Yeah, salt butter garlic fat acid heat Yeah, if you need to throw acid in a heater there you can hell even some fat, but really it's about salt butter garlic So this is something that I would guess submerges into water. Yes and carries the water back out with it Oh, you're so close. It's not a sponge. You are so fucking close God, you're so fucking close. Oh boy. It's not a sponge. You are so fucking close. Um, God, you're so fucking close. Oh boy It's not a sponge. What else would absorb this is something that absorbs water. It doesn't absorb the water carries or carries it Go down light come up heavy Never get to keep the stuff. I carry come up heavy go down light nothing else to do, but that's all right

go down light, nothing else to do but that's all right. Oh, boy. Like a bucket in a well. Erin, it's not only like a bucket in a well. Erin. It is a bucket in a well. Yay, I do wanna see a scene. Oh, I wanna see a scene, go ahead. Erin, you are the, and I'm so sorry to do this

because I know your shower story. Erin, you are the ring girl who I think is at the bottom of a well, right? Remember how people said I looked like her when I was growing up? Oh no. JBC, you're someone who's trying to get water from the well and you can, you know, hear the ring girl and you're trying to, you're kind of annoyed versus being scared. Got it.

Okay, laundry. So, I'm gonna lower the bucket into the well And, okay, I hear the water going in, so nothing to do but pull the bucket. Ooh, Evie are coming up. She's sitting in the bucket like it's a champagne glass in a burlesque routine. Ha ha ha ha. Ooh, ah, ah.

Hello. Ah. Scream. You want me to scream? Yes. You were trying to scream and what came out was the word scream. Both. Hey, you gotta stop doing this, okay? People come to this world-

She's flashing. Stop, stop! Start spreading the news. Okay, I'm putting you back down because I need more water. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just having a sea all day. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No, you're going back down. Don't splash this time when you come up.

God. You're even, don't, why are you submerging? You know, your clothes are so much heavier when you're wet. Pull me up! I am pulling you up. It's hard to do you spilt I have to imagine she was about to launch into a full-on Tom Holland umbrella Dance I was picturing like Dita Von teese In her like Vegas burlesque show just splashing. What's the Tom Holland umbrella dance? What is that?

Oh, GBC. It's maybe the greatest thing that's happened in our lifetime. The internet loves it. He did a lip sync battle and he did umbrella. Tom Holland and Zendaya were on LL Cool J's lip sync battle show. No, I'm good. Tom Holland did a whole dance. I don't hear anymore. I'm all good. It's unbelievable. It's truly one of the best things that's happened in the last 40 years.

Aaron, I think you have a good idea with a burlesque show with the girl from the ring. That's just me when I've gotten out of the shower. That's just me on a Tuesday. It was the ring, the one with the video tape, the cassette? Yes.

Oh, but she's from a well originally? Cause she's a Korean water ghost? She was killed and buried in a well, maybe? Awesome. Is that right? Great place to do that. Somewhere, somewhere in on the earth right now, there's a guy saying that having sex with me was like watching the girl from the ring in a burlesque show. He's saying that right now at there's a guy saying that having sex with me was like watching the Girl From The Ring

in a burlesque show. He's saying that right now at a bar somewhere. About you? Can I just say, if anybody's out there trying to like think of a place to dispose of a body, gotta be near a water source. Oh my God. Game changer, putting a body near a water source.

That's gonna be good. That'll be great for everyone. You guys wanna do one more rental? Yes, please. Why not? Fine. It is to feel. I don't know why I said it like that.

Fine it is to feel when a current of water flows around me and I vibrate. Fine it is to feel when a current of air flows around me and I vibrate. The first is quiet. The second sings. Hmm. Um, wind chimes. Oh. The first is quiet the second sings Hmm wind chimes oh The first is quiet and that's water. Yeah, I guess that that would work for when China's that's on like the JBC sound like the weirdest wolf you went

JPC and I'm not a winter grandmother and how delicious and all that. Did you say wintersting? Wintersting. It is not wind chimes. Water goes around it, it vibrates. When air goes around it, it vibrates. Yes, but the first is quiet and the second sings. I will say wind chimes is a great guess, but this is something that is found in nature. Um... Okay. A boat. I will say wind chimes are a great guess, but this is something that is found in nature.

It is not a, um... It is not something that is man-made in... Leaves? Trees? Leaves and trees. Let's see. No and no. Caves.

Caves. It's like a human... Is it like human vocal cords? Uh, interesting. No, it is not human vocal cords. No one can hear you scream underwater? That is so true. Although the little bubbles come up

and you can hear the screams from the bubbles popping. You can hear people scream underwater. You do that thing when you go under with your cousin and they're like, what did I say underwater? And they're like, be ba ba ba ba. And then you have to go up and you have to say what you thought they said. I would have tea parties at the bottom of the pool.

I haven't played that cousin game before. Vibrate, water goes, water runs around me. I don't know, find it is to feel. I don't know what find it is to feel, except that the... Is it, is this like a creature? Like a... It's not a creature. No.

Something that grows, I would say. It's something that grows and exists kind of in nature. You would find this in a river probably or a pond, a creek. Okay. Sometimes it is a person's first name. I've known at least one person with this as a first name. Brook. It's not Brook. Brook is an excellent guess.

It's something that would be probably grow in a brook, I guess as well. Will it grow? Moss. No. Reeds. well. Moss. No? Reeds. Erin. Erin, you are like four for four today. It is a reed.

And now Erin, I have a reed for you. You're a Korean water ghost ass looking wet burlesque. You've been reed. And you've been read Erin, and how about that? And Casey, could you read us maybe a voicemail theme, if you have one? I have a punchet robot and I named him little skunky drone. I am a very distant relative of Mr. Al Capone. I do not like to talk about it, so please just leave it alone. I'm part of S.A.C. but I have never ever paid my union dues. I'll steal your feed right from your legs and then I'll mail you just the shoes.

Alright, thank you. Holy shit. Part two. The French cologne part. That French cologne part? Yeah. Thank you to Michael shit. Parts of it. The French cologne part. That French cologne part. Yeah. Thank you to Michael for that one. That one was titled Modern Mr. Monkey Bones and the email says Modern Mr. Monkey Bones 30 seconds exactly, which I love. I love reading that in the email.

I bet that took 10 takes to get that to 30 seconds exactly. That was excellent. Thank you so much for sending that in, Michael. Again, you can send those in hrpodcast at gmail.com. Casey, what about a voicemail? We got one of those too? Hi, my name is August and been a long time listener of the whole show for two years since you know COVID happening. And you know, I have to ask you for advice if this ever gets through but um How do you guys deal? with

Bad roommates, you know how do you get rid of them? I mean how you get through them? I mean Yeah, so thank you guys. Hope you guys get this Yeah, thank you all right just just to be clear August is not asking us how we would kill their roommate. I was gonna say August backpedaled. They were like, how do you kill them? I mean, not kill them. I don't wanna incriminate myself on a RiddlePod, guys. I like to think that,

cause there's a bit of a pause between, they're like, how do you, and there's like maybe five seconds of dead air before they said the question. I like to think they were in their apartment with their roommate and they were walking to the other room. They're like, let me get out of this room.

Wait till the door closes before they... The kill is on their lips, but they're like, okay, they're in. I can't say kill my roommate on the phone because they'll know what I'm talking about. To me, I mean, this worked, I mean, in college especially. To me, the number one thing to do... Food, to me, is the number one way, if you fuck with someone's food, that is the best way to get them to not want to live with you anymore.

So I'd recommend wait till your roommate, hopefully they eat Oreos, wait till they buy some Oreos, preferably double stuff, if you can sort of plant that idea in their head, subconsciously or not, and then eat the middle cream, put the Oreos back together, do that with the entire sort of box of Oreos, and then buy like mouse or rat droppings online

and sprinkle some mouse or rat droppings around the pantry. Sure. Buy mouse or rat droppings online is one of the steps. And I think that will cause your roommate to not wanna live in that place anymore. That makes a lot of sense sense now. You would just eat the middle part out, right? Yeah Yeah, but okay because I was thinking maybe you could replace it with something that would be like disgusting frozen mayonnaise Medallions of mayonnaise brother that would not work on me I should say my dad won the medallion of mayonnaise

in World War II, so. I'm sorry, Aaron, that I was born in the Midwest and that I would eat a mayonnaise Oreo. I'm sorry that that is a true thing about me. Having been a bad roommate and having had bad roommates, I would say bad roommates count on one thing, and they count on you not speaking up or defending yourself. Bad roommates really take advantage of people and they count on you not speaking up or defending yourself.

Bad roommates really take advantage of people not being, not like in conflict and not saying things out loud. So I would say be so honest constantly and be like, really stick up for yourself because one of two things are happen. They'll get freaked out and they'll move out or they'll change

their behavior. I don't be like passive aggressive and leaving notes and sighing when things happen be like hey this really upset me. I think it's messed up and you've done it a lot and I've asked you not to and I think either way will land in a better place. Yeah, I think that's very good thing to remember is that like people sometimes worry about like well I don't want to like blow up my spot and make my home life difficult

But you sense that your home life is already difficult, right? Because if you're if you got a person like not respecting you kind of walking all over you It's like what do you have to lose at that point? You have to think practically I would say that also, you know, we live in some bad times, but feel free to weaponize that to your advantage So what I would do is I would like go find your roommates like wallet or ID or something Go ahead throw that away Then call immigration on them and like you know just say that they're in the country legally Deported that's gonna work now because that's gonna be like a pretty big thing

So then you know immigration comes in other wallets like sure you don't have their wallet Or you know if you want to play like some fake identification on them even better and then they'll they probably they probably won't get deported but they'll go through a couple of Couple of pretty unpleasant things So, you know just keep that in mind if you feel like you want to weaponize the current situation to your advantage out there and I hope nobody evil is listening to this because That advice could be really

Pretty terrible extreme. You know what Casey Casey, go ahead and bleep everything that I said. Erin, do you have- Just to be safe, the whole episode. The whole episode. Let's talk about how to get rid of a bad Santa, a Thornton, or a bad teacher, Cameron Diaz. Erin, do you have anything you'd like to plug? Yes, I actually would.

I want to plug, and this is gonna sound so insane, but the Viv, which is a hotel in Anaheim, California, I was recently evacuated during the Los Angeles fires. And you know what? Not recently. I'm going to put some links in the bio of this episode of places that you can donate and help out. Well, this is my episode, Aaron, and it comes out way after the fires, so maybe-

Oh yeah, we'll probably be all set by then. The city will be rebuilt and everyone will sort of be okay by the time this comes out. But... It was super stressful with a dog because a lot of the Airbnbs and hotels don't allow for pets and animals, especially ones of loose size. But the Viv in Anaheim, it's right next to Disneyland. If you're ever planning a trip to Southern California or ever going to Disneyland, please give them your business because they were so hospitable

and weren't taking advantage of the amount of people that were displaced. They were like giving people resources. Every single person was so kind to me. And I had an incredible stay and I just, it really was like a lovely, uh, bit of golden light and a very stressful week. So please give the Viv in Anaheim your business.

That's great. Is that VIV? Yep. And the food was incredible. Like I ate three meals there and I, it was like unbelievable. I would go there on staycation if I ever do that in LA. It is like 10 out of 10. They're so good there. So please give them your business. Noice.

Adil, anything to plug? Yes, I want to plug. Hello from the Magic Tavern. You can listen to that wherever you find podcast is a term we have to we have to say. We also have a Patreon, Patreon.com slash Magic Tavern. So you have patrons. Go check out our Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon, Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. Some of our favorite episodes and content over there. And JPC, do you have a review to read? Oh, boy, you know what? on patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle some of our favorite episodes and content over there

and uh JPC do you have a review to read oh boy you know i would love to read my ass a little bit of review uh this one's coming from craigrex01 if you have a review that you would like to be submitted on the or right on the show submit one wherever you leave five star reviews i might read yours hey this week i'm reading this one explain this hey, hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Pop, can I have some money? asked Dana. The electric ear splitters are giving a concert here in town next week and I really want to hear it. His father put, says put town, put town in the television listings, turned off the TV and firmly declined.

But that's my favorite group, protested Dana. I want to buy tickets real fast so I can hear them perform as soon as possible. If that's what's most important to you replied the father, then you won't need any tickets. Please explain this. Famously the first riddle we've ever done. That was bad. From the blue book, right?

Yeah. Whoa. I guess if you want to hear that riddle explained, listen to the show, Hey Riddle Riddle. You can kind of start from the beginning and you'll probably get to it pretty quickly. I was 26 years old. That can't be right.

Erin, and now you don't look a day over 40. Well, I'm 33. Well, then what I said is awesome. Ha ha ha. Jupiter. Let's not, let's not make this any longer than it needs to be. I have a look refined.

Starting Aaron Cheatham and John Patrick Cohen. I'm frightened to record the podcast today because JPC is in a mood. Okay, time.gov. Let's go at 45. Your favorite president. Wow. Time. Right. Would it be worth it Casey to just make us sit in silence

for like five extra seconds just to say 50? Just to say like a number that doesn't have a president yet? I feel like you do it to yourself sometimes. OK. Like you see 45 and you say, that's good. OK, hold on. Many times I have said numbers that are not presidents, and you guys find a way to say my favorite president.

So don't act like this is on me. Every number is a president. Every number's a president. Every number's a president, Casey. It all circles back. I mean, 48 through 60 will be Trump. The next 20 are Trump, guys. Let's do stuff for real. Yes, 100%.

Eric Staberins. Hey there, raccoons and gators. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We bring you to W99.5 The Bog for some radio station improv. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalogue at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there! That was a hate gum podcast.