Hey Riddle Riddle - #354: Sarey Jessicy Parky

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

If you are reading this on (or near) the day it comes out, tickets are now available for our 2025 Across the Riddleverse tour! You can pick those up at www.heyriddleriddle.com/live If you are listening to this (like most people) in the year 2027, then you've missed the tour but you're probably close to the next one so go ahead and click the link anyway.And you can STILL check out Sandy's latest game here or at raddle.questStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Sandor WeiszEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I'm only. The Mighty Big Dork Haters! Excuse me, sir, ma'am. I've never met the two of you before, is that correct? Yes. I don't think so, unless you're wearing some sort of prosthetics. We've never met before. Well, honey, I'm just saying he could be wearing like a fake nose. Oh, of course. I know.

But you know. Yeah, it's cause you've been burned before. This has happened to you a lot. That doesn't mean everyone's wearing prosthetics, you know? I feel like it was so traumatizing to not know that was my mom. I know. I know. On the street.

I punched her. Is it? But we're in the middle of a magic show, right? Hold on, let me on the street. I punched her. Right. But we're in the middle of a magic show, right? Let me ask you a question. OK, yeah, you're right. You're right. What was triggering for you in a traumatic way? Was it the fact that it was your mom,

or was it just the fact that you were being lied to vis-a-vis prosthetics? All right, honey, now I'm starting to think that maybe this is a person wearing. I just need to know, because for most people everything's fine, but... Mom if that's you, we buried you two months ago, I am going to be very upset. Great news, so great news, it's definitely not the mom one. Not to pooch what it is.

Okay great, then just keep doing your trick. Well... That's what mom would say honey, that's what mom would say. Alright let's just see. Okay. Just do the trick, just do the trick. Let's That's what mom would say, honey. That's what mom would say. Alright, let's just see. Okay. Just do the trick. Just do the trick. Ugh. Let's have this... let's have this happen.

You two sit down. Actually, why don't you two leave the show? Full refund. Pfft. Cause it's not even worth it. No, no. We want to see the trick. Do the trick. I don't... I know that you think you want to see the trick right now. But when we get to the end of the trick, I think it might be the case where you wish you had left.

It's prosthetics. It's prosthetics. It's prosthetics. Give me that. Give me those ears. Well, it's obviously prosthetics. Whoa. Whoa, honey, I ripped off the ears and it's... Is that JPC?

From Hey Riddle Riddle? Run! Ah! Ah! Some of the most famous ears in the biz, baby. You could always tell a JPC by his ears. Hey, and what about JPC's peers, Adel and Aaron? Welcome to the show, baby. You can always tell a JPC by his ears. Hey, and what about JPC's peers, Adel and Aaron?

Welcome to the show, everybody. It's the crew, the clue crew. The clue crew is here. The clue crew. We are 15 episodes into Hey Riddle Riddle. How do you think it's going so far, guys? So nasty. And I'm glad we found this episode.

This is JPC The Future Talk. I'm glad we found this episode. I'm just putting it out context free. Oh, right. Oh, we're not at 354. We're at 15 right now at time of recording. All right, speaking of the crew, look, I know we do plugs at the end, but I do want to mention something up top.

So to the people that we might catch, you know, at the beginning of the episode before you, and I know this is probably 10 to 20% of people, fall asleep to this episode. But while you're still awake in that area of drifting off to sleep, if you are a subscriber to The Clue Group, which is our Patreon feed, bonus episodes every week, it's $5 a month, it's actually a great fucking fantastic deal. But it's only $5 a month, which means that if you subscribe with the Patreon app, you now pay Apple's additional

surcharge, which means that you are paying like 35% more or something for our monthly subscription. So if that happens to be you, don't do that, that is bad to give that money to Apple. We do not see that money. It may look like you're getting charged $8 for a $5 show, but we're not getting any more of that money. If you want to subscribe to the Patreon,

go to the Patreon website, open a browser, do it on like a computer, but do it via the Patreon website. That's where you sign up and then you won't get charged that additional fee every month. I have seen a lot of people recently. The one cool thing is Patreon now shows us

who has signed up via the Apple app and lets me message them, but I don't wanna be messaging people forever being like, hey, you made a mistake. And also I think a lot of people don't check their Patreon messages, which is fine. I don't check my Patreon messages. But just so you know, when you're signing up,

please do it the other way. We don't want, I don't want Apple to get more money. That's, I don't feel uncomfortable saying that. Like, no, that's bad. Yeah. Isn't Apple app one of the black eyed peas? Right? That is a great question.

Apple, Apple the app, maybe? I feel like his name is Apple the app. Yeah, so if you're doing it via the app on your phone, the Patreon app on your phone, don't do it that way. Also, if you're listening to the podcast feed of the Patreon app on your phone, I gotta say, there are better ways to do it. We have an RSS feed that you can get with the podcast.

You plug that into a podcatcher, don't do it through the Patreon app. You lose a lot of features. You don't have to do it that way. There is a better way. That doesn't cost you as much money. Anyway, that's where it's at. Any other business people wanna get out of the way?

Oh, I actually did have, I had something that I wanted to ask the two of you about. This is no longer show business, this is back to inane bullshit, which is what kind of what we do best on the show. Best? Yeah, well, you're right. The question that I had for the two of you,

I had a situation that happened to me recently where I had a problem that I think me recently where I had a problem, I think it's a relatively minor problem. I'm underplaying it because it was bigger than I thought it was. But what is the most amount of money that you have spent to do something in your life that was like a very minor inconvenience? Because I have a number which I told Moran, I think this is the most money I've ever spent to fix a minor inconvenience.

And I couldn't think of another time. It's like one of those things where it's like, paying for like a toll road, but your ETA is like 10 minutes faster. You're like, I just wanna be there 10 minutes faster. I will take a toll road because I just wanna be there. I think I've probably done that before. In terms of like anything that's over $200 ever,

I want to claw my skin off rather than buy it. Like it was so hard for me to buy a car because I was like, why? Why, why? So much money, please no. Too much. JBC, I don't know, I want you to answer, but what did you do? You can think of it if I don't know, I want you to answer,

but what did you do? You can think of it if you don't have them, but just in my house, I had this like old Google mesh Wi-Fi thing that I'd had for a while that was kind of a piece of shit. But my house just has like Wi-Fi dead spots, like all over it. And one of the places that is a Wi-Fi dead spot

is if I am shitting in my downstairs bathroom, which is my want and something that I enjoy doing. But also I have no phone service there. I can't even like text. So like, if Mariah like text me like, Hey, I need your help. I'll be like, I didn't I didn't see it. I was doing one of my convenient. Yeah, exactly. Right. But I was like, okay, so I gotta fix these. Why? And also the problem was like more than just that, like the Wi Fi But I was like, okay, so I gotta fix these Wi- And also the problem was like more than just that. Like the Wi-Fi wouldn't work like sometimes upstairs,

or the Wi-Fi wouldn't, uh, it would just like go in and out, or like Bri would be in a work call, and her Wi-Fi would go out or some shit. So you bought a new house. I bought a brand new house, because I was like, this one's trash. I actually had the old one demolished, and I paid a guy to burn it down.

Um, not even for the insurance money, I just, he seemed to like what he he did and he had a fun website. But no, I bought a new Wi-Fi mesh for the house and it was $500. And I was like... JBC, just so you can watch a video of a dog catching a frisbee while you're going to the bathroom, come on.

I don't even watch videos of dogs catching frisbees because I don't have social media on my phone. So I don't even use my... It's really just like if I wasn't even watch videos of dogs catching frisbees because I don't have social media on my phone. So like I don't even use my, it's really just like if I wasn't getting text messages some times in the house, but more really what it was, was that like Mariah's internet would go out when she was on a work call or some shit like that, which I was like, okay, that seems like a problem that's like, I solved my problem,

which was the shitting problem for $500, but I also part of the $500 was like Mariah who has like a real job at the company. If it had just been the Mariah stuff, would you have spent that money? Be honest. Yeah, for sure. Because it's way easier for me to spend money on someone else than just for me to spend money on myself. Like, spending $500 on myself,

I'm like, no way. I never would have done it. I never would have done it if it weren't for the... If honestly, if I have like a way to be like, oh, I don't want to buy this, it's too much money a way to be like, oh, I don't wanna buy this, it's too much money. And someone's like, oh, I think that you would look good in that shirt. I'd be like, well, thank God. That's permission.

I would have never done it, but that's permission for me. Adel, have you done that before? I'm trying to, I feel like maybe the thing most akin to what you're talking about is at some point, I was like, fuck it. I'm going to buy charging cables for like every room of the house kind of thing. That's yes. Cause I got tired of like trying to find them or taking them from one room to the

next. So I feel like there's a time where I sat down and I'm like, what is this going to cost? It was a number that was just rough. I mean, relatively speaking. And I was like, I'm mean, relatively speaking. And I was like, I'm willing to pay this. So I'd never have to search out another charging cable. Adel, that is exactly what I was looking for. That is the perfect, like, knowing that you could just walk to another room and do it, but you're like, no, it is today.

I will do this. I will, now that's also very funny because like, with especially, cause I have like an iPhone. I was like, oh yeah, I have all these charging cables, but you know, at least I won't have to buy charging cables anymore. And then iPhones now are like, no, now we use the same charging cables that everybody uses.

We're sorry, we did that for forever. And I'm like, cool. What do I do with this drawer full of shit? Like will never be used anymore. That's actually brilliant. Because I have to move my charging cable from room to room. And it, I guess that's not that hard because I have a very small apartment.

But it is a- I was gonna say welcome to the club and then it seemed like a bit of a backhanded government. No, no, no, but you have like a house that has multiple, my house has like two rooms. So I'm just moving the charging cable like three feet. Aaron, buy, invest in like a 18 foot cord. Okay, I'm listening.

I get tangled in the cord. I call you. I did buy Mariah a pair of sunglasses that is just for the car because she has like the same pair of sunglasses for her life and then one pair that is just for the car because she has like the same pair of sunglasses for her life and then one pair that's just for the car. I have like $1 cheap car sunglasses that I look like a crazy person in.

They say 2017. Yeah. See, that's not really the same because that's like practical to be like, I'm gonna have the worst $1 car sunglasses because they only cost $1. The point of the exercise is that you like spent money on a thing that where you're like,

wow, this wasn't necessarily, I didn't need to do this, but it makes my life like maybe 1% more convenient. So it's like, hell yeah. I'm gonna try to think of one. I know I've done one. I'll keep it going in the back of my brain. I shouldn't, knowing what's about to happen in the rest of the episode,

I shouldn't be springing other bonus questions on you guys that force you to think about stuff, because there is the unfortunate other part of the podcast that we kinda have to get to where I kinda do that thing to you anyway. Plugs. Yeah, plugs. Let's talk about it. What are we watching?

What do we like? Common side effects? What else, what else, what else? Now, you guys ready to do some riddles? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Yeah, okay. Rind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind-ind- Whoa. Um, last week's episode, we had Tony Hale on the podcast and, um... Incredible, by the way.

That's crazy. It was very fun. Just go listen to that episode. And we did some Only Connects, and it made me, it made me think, you know what? I like these Only Connects. I want to do a couple more Only Connects. So I have a few Only Connects for you guys today. My favorite!

And they're Erin's favorite. So if you, uh, if you remember how Only Connects work, and for you listeners who don't or didn't listen last week or haven't listened to the podcast ever before, what the fuck is happening? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm gonna give you four different prompts, basically. Each one will have an answer to them, and all of the answers will also have something

that ties them all together. So that's the premise of the only connects. So here is your here's your first one ready. And these by the way are they come to us from I think gin s in San Jose from seven years ago. Okay. Tony Falcon and Star Lord all use these to get around. Tony Soprano.

No, I don't think so. Falcon. They shipped. Okay. Tony and Falcon and Star-Lord. Star-Lord. Star-Lord. From Guardian to the Galaxy.

Tony, Falcon and Star-Lord all use these to get around. Rocket Boots. Not Rocket Boots. Friendship. Not friendship. Legs. Rocket boots? Not rocket boots. Friendship. Not friendship. Legs. It's not legs, but I don't- Groot?

Yeah, I guess they all have legs. Do they all have Groots? They don't all have Groots. I actually don't have a dronian falcon. I have a Groot. Oh, I have a Groot fucker, can you believe me? It's funny because Groot could mean nipples in that context because that's how his language

works. Can I do the next one? Yeah. We'll come back to that if we need to. She carried the hit TV show Foreignication in the lunch town. Sex and the City. Sex and the City. She carried.

She carried. She carried. She carried. She carried. She the city. She. Carried. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah Jessica Parky. Sarah Jessica Parky. I panicked, I heard help. That's it, I would name, okay you guys, my next dog is Sarah Jessica Parky. Come here Sarah Jessica Parky.

It does sound like the name of a bird, like Sarah Jessica Parky, Parakeet maybe is where I'm going with that. Sarah Jessica Parker is the correct answer for that one. We just got a comment on this episode. It said Erin Sarah Jessica Sarah Jessica Barkey was right there. Perfect. Thank you so much. Barkey. Oh, yeah.

The presidents of the United States of America say that they come from a can, but I find them preserved in a jar of. Peaches. Peach juice. A jar preserved in a jar of... Peaches, peach juice. A jar preserved in a jar of... Jelly jam. Jam. Yes, but specifically what kind of jelly or jam? Peach jam.

Gotcha, okay. So you got that one, Sarah Jessica Parker, peach jam. Of all the things to hit, this is probably the best. Bullseye. Hmm, very good, but it's not a bullseye. Target. Not a target. Of all the things to hit.

A racist with your car. Well, that's good too. That's got to feel great, huh? But no, it's not that. Of all the things to hit, this is probably the best? This is probably the best for you to hit for you personally. Me personally. Goals.

No, not like for an individual. Like it's like, for anyone. Milestones. Goals. It's not milestones or goals. I think we just talked about it on the review crew, but think Dave and Buster's maybe for this. High score.

Personal best. High score, but like what's another thing that you could hit like a Dave and Buster's context? Kid It's the slap it's NBC's the slap ABC it doesn't matter why does that show come up so much it was one season like ten years ago It's absolutely insane. So funny It's insane. It's insane. It's insane.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane.

It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane And the Preserves one. Peach Jam. Peach Jam. And then Tony Falcon and Starlord all use these to get around. Jetpacks. It's Jetpacks. Oh, these are all JP or PJs?

These. JPCs. Yes, you both got there. 50% points for both of you. These all contain a J, a P, and a C. Hmm. Oh, I love it. Yes, thank you, Jen, S, and San Jose for making that seven years ago.

I hope you're still listening. Okay, let's move on to another set of these. These are all coming from Jack. I actually like to see a scene, I'm so sorry. I'm trying to formulate how I want the scene to go in my head. Okay. GPC, I want to see you as yourself, GPC,

you're addressing a crowd that is all JPCs. Mm-hmm. Okay, everybody, settle down, settle down, settle down. Seems like a lot of you- Settle down, I'm barely 30, why would I settle down? I should still be dating. No, it's time, honestly, GPC, it's time, but it's long past time. All right.

Okay, I'm looking, scanning the crowd. It seems like, hey, okay, so we're all supposed to be wearing matching shoes. This whole kind of thing that we're about to do doesn't really work if we're not, it doesn't matter. Some of you obviously didn't read the email or kind of read the email and kind of chose to go a different way with it

because you were sent the shoes. So I don't see why it was such a big deal to not wear the shoes. That email could have been a sext. Okay, let's see. Okay, well, it doesn't matter. It's almost time. So let's grab our little glasses of Kool-Aid. Does everybody have their glasses of Kool-Aid? Yeah. Do we give the horses that are here glasses of Kool-Aid to or horses should be in the parking lot if you wrote a horse Here you should just leave it in the parking lot

Okay, it seems like a good half of you don't have Kool-Aid like what do you want you you JPC? What are you drinking cousins piss that was a cousin's piss that it was gonna be cousin's piss. It's not actually cousin's piss is it? Yes, okay great All right. Well it was supposed to be the Kool-Aid because we kind of did something for them I think we all have cousins pissed at least my my whole section We're talking over here, and we all have cousins piss here's what we'll do Why don't we all just drink whatever we've got we'll see if we make it out of the meteor Okay, we'll see if we'll see if when the meteor comes by the cousins piss gets us there. I don't think it will personally

But we'll give it a try. Hey, man. College, yeah. Fuck you. Yeah, OK. Now we're talking, OK? Let's get down to business. See? Let's get down to business.

If JPC ran Heaven's Gate. Is that the name of that cult? I think so. And I think I'd also, David Koresh, I think I'd be doing David Carradine, it doesn't matter. I'd be doing a service if I kind of mass eliminated all of the JPCs and kind of one fell below.

But also, we don't know that they didn't make it onto that comet, right? Hmm? We don't know. We don't know. Seems like a pretty good deal. We know. Kind of what's going on down here and get to a comet.

Not telling anyone to do anything, but I'm just saying if you have the opportunity to have a comet, you're right. I don't know what to say. It almost feels like, I feel like it almost is like a symbiote venom situation, where even if the tiniest little ounce of JPC gets on a meteor and it goes to another planet,

then that planet's fucked. Oh yeah, for sure. If you have any dose of JPC, you could die. No offense. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, I've seen it. You saw the last dance? Yeah. And you saw all the Venom movies? I liked the first two Venom movies a lot. I thought Tom Hardy and the Venom movies were great. And I watched the last dance the other day and I was like, oh boy.

It just, it didn't, it felt like, it felt more like Craving the Hunter and Madame Web than the other Venom movies, which seemed like they were like having fun and being kind of funny. That sucks. Yeah, I didn't, it wasn sucks. Yeah, wasn't my favorite. But the thing about those Venom movies that I love is I love that Tom Hardy has done two different superhero movies where he's taken these big wild swings

with the voices. To me, that is, muah. Thank you so much, Tom Hardy, for putting that just into the universe. Taking a risk. Well, because you got the cool Venom voice, which is like, I am going to eat your brains. And you got the pain voice.

And we all, we can't really do the pain voice too many more times on this show, because we all know what that voice is. Yeah, we all know it by heart. It's very good. He's such a good actor. Being sincere, he's one of my favorite actors. And I feel like it's as if, he approaches it the same way.

If you had approached Daniel Day-Lewis to play like Dr. Strange, he would do like a build a butcher. You know what I'm saying? Like he approaches any role, I think the same way, regardless of what the content is, which is like, I'm gonna have, you know, I'm gonna do some study,

I'm gonna take some big swings and risks, and I'm gonna make this something three-dimensional. So I, yeah, I very much appreciate the choices he makes. Not to be a, wah, wah, wah, wah, over here, but he was one of my favorite actors too, until Charlie Serow did that interview about working with him on Mad Max. Seems like a fucking nightmare to work with.

She like had just had a kid and he would show up three and a half hours late to set and like be mad at her. He's not sound like a good guy. But he's a good actor so. I do think that yeah, there is something to like the, and me it's that method thing too of like, hey yeah sometimes really great actors are like absolute nightmares to work with.

And I'm like, yeah you gotta remember that you still have to work with people too. It's Day Lewis on the set of Lincoln where Spielberg would be on his phone and Day Lewis would be like, what is this? I'd be like, walk away from me, man. Hey man, I'm Steven Spielberg. I don't need to do this shit.

People on the set need to feed their families what they're walking through. Yeah, that to me as well. Okay, here's your next riddles. More Some More Only connects. These ones come from Jack who says, love the show. Love you, Jack. The World 1804.

I'll pause if you guys want to throw out. Okay. Those two separate ones? No, no no this is this is what one thing world 1804 the world 1804 Facebook 2012 Africa 2009 China 1982 hmm what do we think? These are all places in the world and years when one of us was born. I was born in 1804. Is it like, I already like this one.

Is it? This one's good. Like an announcement of something? Is it an announcement of something? Or like a new technology or new word being introduced or something? That's fun. No, it's not a word or a technology

and it's not really an announcement. I would say milestone is probably the right word. Oh, billion. These are all Mandela effects. Million. Aaron, well, it's... Pfft. You're right on the money with billion, Aaron.

So this is all places and times when the population reached one billion. The world in 1804, Facebook in 2012, Africa in 2009, and China in 1982, where their population, or I guess when Facebook users reached a billion? Incredible nice one Aaron. Yeah, here's your next one be found an emerald As a poison He has a chipmunk voice oh They need to breathe.

Can you do it again? Yes. B found in emerald, as a poison. He has a chipmunk voice. Oh, they need to breathe. So O, oxygen, chipmunk voice would be helium. Well, these are all gases. Emerald.

Not gases. What is the right column? B found in emerald as a poison. You're so close. You guys have it. Arsenic as a poison. B, baromein, I don't know. Bane? Is Bane an emerald? You basically have it. Okay. Because you figured out the formula. But the first two letters are the chemical element,

and then the next part is a short description of that chemical element. Oh, cool. So B-B-E, I don't know what that is. Is that beryllium? I don't know what that is. Found an emerald, A-S a poison, arsenic a poison, H-E has a chipmunk voice, helium makes your voice a chipmunk voice, and O, they need to breathe, is oxygen. I love it. I do wanna see a scene. Erin and JPC, you are Alvin and Simon.

You are at Theodore's funeral, and you're trying to be respectful and sad, but also your voices are so sort of high and funny that you can't help but like, have a good time. Great. ["The Last Supper"] How do you measure your life? Is it in laughs?

Is it in mischief? Is it in being a part of a song that includes your name? Sorry, is there some? I just don't think I can fucking, I just don't think I can fucking, I just don't think I can fucking do this right now. I just don't think I can fucking do this right now. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come here, come here. Oh God.

Hey, this isn't, why are people laughing? Hey, he's really sad. I don't know why people are laughing. Leave Alvin alone why do you sound like that why do you sound like that you sound normal I thought Casey could maybe add something to my nose and pose they can't and he shanked no come on I don't know toys you know toys you have. No, hold on. Did you hear that whistle? There has been an issue on the field here at Hey Riddle Riddle.

Do we need to go to Riddle Court or can we settle this on the field? No, settle this on the... This is not appropriate for Riddle Court. Okay, fine. I think this is Scene Court. Yeah, this is Scene Court. Let's go to Scene Court. I want to go to Scene Court.

Great. Let's go to scene court. I wanna go to scene court. Great, let's go to scene court. All rise for Judge Aaron P. All rise, all rise. Wait a second, I'm the Baron. Okay, then announce Judge Aaron P. Oh, so you get to be the judge? Yes. Is his voice getting higher?

And you know what, Adel, you weren't in the scene. Adel, you get to be the judge. Oh, okay. Order, order, everyone. Calm down, calm down. We seem to have a grievance here filed by what? The court. The court.

The court. The court. The court. The court. The everyone, calm down, calm down. We seem to have a grievance here filed by one Aaron Keefe. Thank you. Okay, Aaron, why don't you step in front of the juror and do one comedic and one dramatic? Am I on Keefe here?

Are my hands willing to shave? Yes, also tell us where your hands are. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. And chipmunks. And chipmunks. Yeah, sorry, you can't see them, but there's 12 angry chipmunks under the porch. I get it, I get it.

Oh, we're not angry. Most of us are horny, and that's what you mean. If you, on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. If you. No, that's not. Come on man. Come on man. She, she saw me to fuck myself and I'm not allowed to talk.

Judge. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. If you use performance enhancement drugs on Hey Riddle Riddle, that is your prerogative. You cannot make the scene that you're in about having said performance enhancement drugs. That is bad improv.

Use the drugs and if someone adds, it chooses to add a drug of their choice to post that is their business. Stay the course, yes and the scene, and don't make it a meta pile of bullshit that I don't have a soundboard. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ Please Aaron Please I don't even know how I Would even begin to download a soundboard fuck you fuck Aaron Aaron. I'm gonna throw the book at you I'm throwing the book. He's doing the meta bullshit that I was just talking about Aaron Born being able to do technology

I'm gonna have to hold you in contempt. Hey, hey, he is doing it against me. I'm going, this is gonna have to be a thing where I take this scene to another riddle scene. I'm getting too emotional, I need to calm down. Can you guys believe this? His voice keeps getting higher. I had motion smoothing on my TV for years without realizing it.

I don't know how to. See that? Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Whatever. Fucking whatever. Vote in the comments. I'm saying that everyone has access to the same technology that others do. And I think it is not fair to make a scene about how you have a soundboard.

And now you know what I'm gonna have to fucking do this week? Bother Casey and have Casey hop on the horn with me so I can download a soundboard and now you know what I'm gonna have to fucking do this week bother Casey and have Casey hop on The horn with me so I can download a soundboard and become a menace to society and then we're just three fuckers with soundboards Hey, I love it man, I'm all for it one of the Batman movie was just three jokers. Why not? They never tried it before. Aaron how about this? Yes, cuz I've asked JPC for his soundboard program before. We all download it and then we do a Patreon where it's entitled, Three Fuckers with Soundboard.

We get it all out there. Aaron, we get it all out there. That way, when we do scenes and hit a riddle, it's used like, you know, saffron, not salt. Yeah, because there's no reason to bring the soundboard to the main feed. It's just like, we don't need to do it, we shouldn't do it, it's bad like, you know, saffron, not salt. Yeah, because there's no reason to bring the sour border to the main feed. It's just like, we don't need to do it. We shouldn't do it.

It's bad to do. Let's not do it anymore. He's about to do it. Covered income. Okay, okay, okay. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. You guys. You guys, I think we need to introduce being fined

for doing things. Financial consequence for doing a bad job on this show. Because- Oh, so we should be fined for like anti-social behavior? I've peed on a waiter before. Okay. Like, is that the kind of thing that you're saying? Can I tell you, this is trippy,

because that feels like AI. When did I say that? I don't know. I don't know, Aaron. I don't know. If you guys want this show to be complete chaos with, I just feel like JPC should be fined $5 for what he did in that scene.

Adel, the judge is up to you. Top a renegade goat. Yeah, boy. What? Erin, if I find him, I have to find you for what you just said. All right, we have to move on. Here's your next riddle.

Amazing Grace, how sweet. Okay, clip that. Casey, clip that. Because how that. Herbert. 88. These are all love bugs. Wow.

And they're Jersey numbers. Jefferson, 92. Walker, zero. So Herbert Hoover, Thomas Jefferson, Paul Walker. Can you read them again? These are all the most handsome men alive. Herbert 88. Herbert 88, Jefferson 92, Walker zero, Hussein eight.

Oh, it's the last numbers of the year that they died. It's the last numbers of the year that they died. No, or born, or born. No, no, no, no, neither one. God of Museum. And who, and who, who are we talking about? Leaders. No, well, yes, we are talking about leaders, but more specific.

Middle names. Erin, middle names of. Presidents. Presidents. Barack Hussein Obama. And when they took office. Yes. Herbert 88, Jefferson 92, Walker 0, Hussein 8. Middle names of presidents and the year they were elected.

Yes. Walker Dices, Ranger Bush. Uh, your next one. That was a good one. Yeah, I like that one. A hammer and a feather. Hammer and a feather. Okay.

Six US flags. Five golden rings. Two golf balls. Two golf balls. Eugene Shoemaker's shoes. That's a real curveball theme. I know, right? Oh god, I don't know. Could not be more specific.

If you know who Eugene Shoemaker is, I gotta assume that... I don't either, but I gotta assume that that's a really good clue if you know who that is. Well, I mean, in context, this is the guy who created shoes? No, I don't either, but I gotta assume that that's like a really good clue if you know who that is, but... Well, I mean in context, this is the guy who created shoes? No, I don't know. I don't think he... no. Eugene Shoemaker shoes, two golf balls, a hammer and a feather. What was the other one? These are all things that weigh one pound. Six US flags.

Six US flags. These are all things found inside the belly of a whale. No, they're not stars. The amount of stars. They're not the amount of stars. These are all things that you hit into water. It's not things you hit into water. Hammer and a feather, six U.S. flags, two golf balls, Eugene Shoemaker shoes.

I think, I'll say, all of these have a location in common. Sand trap. It's not a sand trap. Pole. It's not a pole. Pole, pole. Six US flags, coin, they're all on coins. They're all on.

No. They're all. I would like, what, what the nomination of coins is two golf balls? That's what I call quarters. Hammer and the feather. Don't you leave a quarter on the green when you're like picking up a golf ball? Yeah, you do.

That makes sense. Okay. Okay. Hammer or feather you use just in case there's a alligator. It's going to, yeah, it has nothing. They're on a flag. They're not on a flag. They're not on a golf course.

A hammer and a feather, six US flags, two golf balls and Eugene shoemaker shoes. They're all in the same place. The Smithsonian. Not the Smithsonian. This is a place that I would say, it's not a museum, but this place gets almost no visitors. Like it's, nobody goes here. The moon, the moon, the moon, the moon,

of course the moon. The moon. It's the moon. I do wanna see a quick scene. Aaron and Adel, you are both gonna be astronauts on the moon, of course the moon. The moon. It's the moon. I do wanna see a quick scene. Aaron and Adel, you are both gonna be astronauts on the moon. Adel, you are taking your duty very seriously. And Aaron, you're trying to leave a bunch of other shit on the moon just so you can say that there's this stuff on the moon.

Great. All right, we have the flag. We'll plant that right there next to the others just to sort of show. Don't look over here. Huh? Don't look over here. I'm pissing over here. Huh? Don't look over here.

I'm pissing. Sullivan. What? If you're pissing, you're pissing in your suit. We all piss in our, I'm pissing right now. No, no. I can't see your genitals. Oh wait, if I take my dick out, will it explode?

Let's not test it. Let's not test it. Don't clip it. Don't clip it. No, I just am gonna, just look away. I'm just gonna pee on. With your penis? I'm gonna pee on the moon. Wait, whoa, what was that big sack?

Sullivan, you're not pulling a Santa again, are you? No, no, no, no, I'm just, hey man, everyone wants to have a legacy. And I said, why not have mine be funny? Sullivan, last time we were on the moon, you did several things that got us both in trouble. You did sort of a Hollywood walk of fame hand prints and then your signature... Yes.

Uh... Okay. You brought a oversized sort of cracker barrel carpet game of checkers. Sure, yeah. This time I have serious stuff, like six DVD copies of Pale a Day Good Nights. Why six? A bagel with cream cheese. Come on, you know what, man? Forget it. This time I have serious stuff, like six DVD copies of Pale a Day Good Nights.

Why six? A bagel with cream cheese. Come on, you know what, man, forget it. Astronauts are not allowed to have fun anymore. You're right. Let's collect some rocks for science. Is this like a bet you lost? Or are people paying you to do?

What's going on here? Like I could understand if it was like your mother's ashes or something, but this just doesn't make sense. Okay. There are certain kinds of perverts on the internet that are willing to spend a certain amount of money to make a certain thing happen.

And who am I to dash a pervert's dream? Sullivan, say that, I will help you. What do you got? What's in the bag? Yeah, let's start pulling some of this stuff out. Let's start pulling some of this stuff out, okay. Perfect dream. Sullivan, say that, I will help you. What do you got? What's in the bag? Yeah, let's start pulling some of this stuff out. Start pulling some of this stuff out, okay. We got a slip and slide, do not use that.

You will slide forever. Okay. You will never stop sliding. Well, I thought, all right, well. It'll be like gravity. Mm-hmm. Let's see what else here. Here is a bottle of Barefoot wine.

Hey guys, I got the moon rocks ready to go. Hey, we're gonna need a couple more minutes. The rocks on this side are- The fuck, why do you sound like that? Are you not wearing your helmet? Aaron. Aaron? Aaron back in the scene. Aaron, is this fun? Is this fun for you? Aaron get? Pfft. Aaron. Aaron?

Aaron, back in the scene. Aaron, is this fun? Is this fun for you? Aaron, get back in the scene. Aaron? Aaron, get back in the scene, please? Aaron, I have a voice mod called Spaceman Luke. I am Darth Vader.

I'm not trying to compare our show to art, but I literally just had a moment where, say, Hayverle Riddle is a painting, and I'm in the painting. I just was in the painting, and I went, what if I just sort of stepped outside of the painting, and I became an observer of the painting? And then, what if I walked away from the painting? The Therese Bueller effect, this is, yes.

Well, Aaron, would it help if we took a little break? Let's take a break, Aaron, huh? I don't think so this time. I think this time a break can't fix this. Hey, let's try. Let's try. Let's take a quick break and see if maybe it all gets fixed. JPC, I just got a text from your wife and it said, can you make sure JPC remembers to get me a Mother's Day gift this year? I want something that is sentimental and sweet.

He's never gotten me a gift before for any holiday. Ha ha, Erin, that's a trick question. The wife can't be the mother, because the doctor... Oh, this isn't a riddle. Your wife is asking me to ask you to get her an Aura frame. Yeah, I'll get this. Yeah, GBC, I would highly recommend Aura frames. I've gotten one for my mom before,

and she absolutely loves it. I've gotten one for my sister. I've gotten one for Gemma's mom, my mother-in-law. Aura frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter, and it's easy to see why. and she absolutely loves it. I've gotten one for my sister. I've gotten one for Gemma's mom, my mother-in-law. Aura Frames was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter, and it's easy to see why. There's unlimited storage. You can add as many photos, videos,

and funny memes as you can find. And it's so simple to set up. How simple is this setup? How simple is it to set up? Just plug it in and share away. And one of the best things is that if you get it as a gift for someone else, you can add photos to their frame

Right if they give you access, right? So fun to just like put in a surprising photo like I'm gonna get your wife a frame Okay, Beverly Shoe Badoo of all of the great times we've had together No, what a wife can be a mother I'm thinking too hard about this because a wife and a mother could be the same. JBC listen up or a frame has a great deal for Mother's Day for a limited time listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting aura frames.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best selling Carver matte frame that's aura a you are a frames.com promo code riddle support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

Terms and conditions apply. And it's the perfect deal for, and let's see if I got this right, if you are your own grandmother. JPC, your wife says that you're in the thinnest of ice and Beverly Hoop-a-doo is waiting in the wings. Ice, it's May. May, Mother's Day, oh no!

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I say better, you say. Help. I say better, you say. Erin help. Oh sorry. Erin, hey sorry, Addle, he felt unwell. Oh.

Emotionally. Okay. You gotta be careful how you word things. I broke my emotional ankles. Oh, well, Addle, have you tried BetterHelp? Oh yeah, Addle, BetterHelp! Yeah. It's online therapy?

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or if you're a well. Plus you can switch therapists at any time. Yeah, and if your emotional well, let's see if I can land this plane. If your emotional well is full, then you might want to use therapy as a way to kind of talk through some of those issues. Sometimes it can be helpful just to talk things out,

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Wow, we landed it. You're welcome. Yes. Well, well, well. Okay, we're landing it too much. Does that make sense? This kind of therapy has worked really well for me in the past.

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to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. Can you guys throw down an emotional rope? No. We're very far away. Okay. Bye guys. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this episode.

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They can't get mad at that because it's photos of you. So they can't be like, I don't like this gift. Cause at the end of the day. Cause it's saying, I don't like you. And that's messed up to say on Mother's Day. Exactly. Why would they do that? Yeah, no.

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Use promo code PHOTO, terms and conditions apply. PHOTO, folks. Don't forget it. Thank you, Aura. Thanks. Alright, guys. Well, I know that we're coming off the heels of my personal favorite holiday, 420. Nice.

So I got you guys some dooby dooby doos, and I thought we could some-moke them on the pop test. Oh, hell yeah. Let me blaze this up. All right, now, you're going to notice that it's a little bit different than maybe a joint that you've smoked previously. Wait, is this a person?

There's like sand in this, is this Sandy? Oh, am I smoking Sandy? Please don't smoke me, that's against the terms and regulations. Oh, my guy ripped me off, what's up Sandy? Yeah, it's a common complaint that I get, people try to smoke me and then they realize I'm a human being, but there's a lot it's a common complaint that I get people try to smoke me. And then they realize I'm a human being, but, uh, there's a lot of me to go around,

especially with this, with this beer, just pluck off a hair and you can smoke it. Don't mind if I do. Who knows? Who knows? Very billy. Is it, do they smoke beer? It's in the Bible. I've never read it.

I assume, I assume, I assume. If there's some sort of like Google for Bibles, I assume the word beard is in there 4,000 times. Yeah, you know, if they do smoke beard in the Bible, please email Sandy, let him know. You can find him on social media. Something.fun or something. No, you can't anymore. If they can smoke beard, then I've got a new hobby.

Hi, hi guys. Hello, Sandy. Excited to have some high quality riddles on today's show. I threw away not only all my sports puzzles, but I threw away everything in my brain about sports. So we will never talk about that again. History will say I killed that game. That was a month ago. No one remembers so well last time you were here.

You're allowed to write it down. No one else can test it. I found a little recycle bin in my brain and I just kind of dragged and dropped my whole desktop into that and then poof. So basically everything's gone. I love that. Motor function too.

Oh, we got weird on this podcast. I don't know. Well, would you like something different? This is a word game. We love words. Famous. Some words? Yeah.

Oh yeah. Word, word, word, big word. Word turds. Word turds. A little turd he told you about the words that I brought. A little turd he told me that were word turds. A little word turd. For this turd of a game, I'm going to give you a sentence,

and it contains both a clue for both a phrase in the format of this and that, like A and B, X and Y. And it also clues a word that is formed by making a portmanteau out of those two words. So for example, if I said, I saved my own family first when the dam broke. Oh, your own family is your flesh and blood. And if you smash those two words together,

you get flood. Which is what happens when the dam breaks. Fuck. Did that happen? Oh, someone did read the Bible. I'm just gonna let everyone know right now, I can't do this. Sure you can.

Erin's like, bring back sports, please. Yeah, I know myself and I know my brain and I don't have the right wires or parts of my brain. I actually don't even have the right parts of my brain to be able to explain why I can't do this. And Erin, famously last night you cut the red wire, which was a lot, in your brain there's a lot of red wire. Yeah, my brain still exploded, can you believe it?

Unbelievable. Erin's looking at a Tough Mudder course and she's like, I'm willing to flop around in there, but I'm not gonna be doing what everybody else is doing. We're not, this is not happening. Hop around like a fish on a dock. I'll get muddy and take a picture or whatever, but I'm not doing all this.

No, I'll try. I'm going to try, Sandy. You'll be great. You'll be great. So we got the concept. Ready to move on? Yes, sir. This movie about the famine is great,

even though it's not in color. OK, black and white might be the term we're looking for. Correct. Okay. Blight. So smash those two words, blight. Blight. There you go.

Black and white and blight. It's very famously about a famine. A famine? Number two. Huh? Wouldn't that be something? Can I say famine ties was one of the worst TV shows? Would a famine be like if there's like nothing,

are we experiencing a famine right now where there's like nothing good coming out of Hollywood except Aaron's picture show, sorry, Aaron. But nothing else good coming up. I thought you were gonna say that no one famous is good or no one good is famous anymore. The fame has. Maybe it's not a famine because it's not really about

fame but it is about how they're just like remaking movies from 20 years ago and that's the only movies. My understanding was a promise that fame was gonna last forever isn't that what they said? Hmm. That was the winner. No? Fame. That was the big cheer. Fame. You're gonna live forever. Yeah, that's right. See you remember my name. Hey. Well, clearly it worked. All right, let's do another one. Pirates love a British pastry. Pastry. Okay.

Pirates love a British pastry. Is it like tea and crumpets? Nope. The British pastry is the word, not this phrase. Is it like tea and crumpets? Nope. The British pastry is the word, not this phrase. Is not the phrase. Pirates is the phrase. Pirates is the X and Y phrase. Or pirates love?

Pirates will get you the A and B phrase. The pastry is the word. Okay, pirates. What's an A and B phrase? So does it always have an A and a B? Scallon crossbones? Keep going. Scallon bones Skull and bones.

Cro-sance-bones? Just match those words together. Skone, skull, skull, skull, skull, skull. Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, I'm working. Okay, sorry. Skull-cron? Skums is right, although I guess, I guess technically they call them skons over there,

but maybe the British... What? Maybe the British pirates also call it skull and crossbones, I don't know. Excuse me, a yarr. Do they really call it scons? They call skulls scons? Do they?

Oh shit, I hope I don't get into trouble. I think so. Scons. Yeah, I think so. Sid, you definitely will get in trouble, but I will. That's fucking stupid. It's a whole ass nation full of morons. No.

They don't get this here. They don't get this here. They don't get this there, right? They do, they do. Uh-huh, uh-huh. But it's translated. It's translated. Uh-huh. It's translated.

Yeah. They call a cup of tea a cuppa. Cuppa. What are we doing? They're having more fun than us, let's not. Way more fun. Way more fun. In a car, they call the boot panties?

These guys are dumb. As our friend Ethan taught us, there's such cool British rhyming slang that we're behind the times. in a car, they call the boot panties? These guys are dumb. As our friend Ethan taught us, there's such cool British rhyming slang that we're behind the times. Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, rhyming slang is awesome. We should all make up our own rhyming slang

because I don't believe that the intention of rhyming slang is for you to be, for it to be clear what you're saying. So that's a good future game, Sandy. You might be able to write that out. Cockney rhyming slang, the game? I saw a future game, Sandy. You might be able to write that out. Cockney rhyming the game? I saw a Cockney, I saw someone on a TV show give a Cockney rhyming slang for,

for, shit, now I can't find it, for Fanny. They were trying to say Fanny, but Fanny means something else there. And they didn't want to say Fanny, so they said something else as a cockney rhyming slang to get you to fanny. And now I can't even remember what the slang was. When I go to-

But it was funny because the word they weren't trying not to say is so tame to us. Yeah, for us. Yeah. All right. The kid presented her most cherished possession to her kindergarten class, a single oyster. Show and tell, shell? Show and shell. You got it.

Hell. I fought fiercely to lose this guy who was following me. I fought fiercely to lose. I found it. Jack and Annie. Jack and Annie is slang for fanny. Wow. So Jack and Annie pack is what you'd wear if you're a tourist.

That's right. Actually, you know, more than just tourists wear. They're very convenient. Can you read that again? I fought fiercely to lose this guy who was following me. What do you call it when someone's following you? Chaste. Tail. I was going to say like shake a tail.

Chase. Tail. Tail is right. Now you have to think of a phrase that means fight fiercely. Or fiercely. Tooth and nail? Tooth and nail. Tooth and nail to tail. When playing this piano duet,

we got tripped up by a gap cut out of the sheet music. Heart and soul whole. Boom. Addle, we got that in unison. We just got a cease and desist from Courtney Love. Wow. I thought you were gonna say Hoagy Carmichael. No.

My kid loves to eat noodles and study Bajaas architects. Bajaas, Bajaas. Bajaas blast. Bajaas blast. Bajaas blast. Mountain Dew, Mew, Mew. Taco Bell, Taco Bell. Checking the app.

Oh yeah, we could order delivery. What was the question? My kid loves to eat noodles and study Bauhaus architects. Mac and cheese. Meeze. Meeze, as in Meeze Vandero. Oh, I was joking.

No, it's right. Adel, just don't admit that. Just say that you knew it. I mean, yes. Brutalist architecture. The Brutalist.. I mean, yes, Brutalist architecture. The Brutalist. The Adrian Brody. The Brutalist, right?

Yeah. Whenever someone mentions architecture, guys, just say the Brutalist. Here's a little hint from old JPC, just say, oh, the Brutalist. You'll be fine. My nagging spouse is always talking about taking down Batman.

Ball and chain Bane. Wow. Whoa. Adol, you're moving so fast. Here's a coupon for two free hugs. What do you mean I'm a bad husband? Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean I'm a bad husband?

Wait. Keep it going. Bane is giving his spouse a coupon for two free hugs. Don't give me a list of what to do and I'll do it. It's so funny that the prom's just ball and chain, but instead it's like low rate husband. And then it's like the... Hey, hey honey, two weeks ago I did the dishes

and you didn't say anything. Why didn't I get applause? What do we have this weekend? I was planning on golfing. We need a sitcom with Bane. It's basically, what's the, who's the Kevin James, what's the Kevin James sitcom?

A King of Queens. King of Queens, we need one that's like. Yeah, he's like a hot wife that would never actually be with him in real life. Bane of my Bane or something. Yeah, just like Supermodel Wife. Bane's Bane. Bane's Bane.

Isn't it funny? Both of those movies are fine. The Dark Knight and the Dark Knight Rises. The Dark Knight's obviously the best one of them. But I think it's very funny that like universally, what we have taken from culture from those things is that the Joker is like very scary. It was a great performance.

And Tom Hardy's Bane is the number one thing people wanna do cartoon impressions of. It's not even close, like their relatability on scary. One of them is just not scary at all. Would we call it, that sitcom, Growing Banes? Yes. Wow, wow. Whoa. We're gonna live forever. Say you remember my name, Bane. B. Wow. Wow. Whoa.

We're gonna live forever. Say you remember my name, Bane. Bane, Bane. Yeah. I'm gonna live forever. It always amuses me when I write a puzzle that has Batman and I immediately think that it's so close to Bateman. Like Jason Bateman should play Batman at some point.

And I'm not sure what else to do with it. Yes, for sure. We, he missed his calling in like the 2010s when every movie had to have Jason Bateman in it because we lost a deal with like the devil apparently. But now Jason Bateman is Batman. That is the move. And it's a lot of him going up to like the Joker

and being like, hey buddy, hey buddy, we're gonna go ahead and stop. Let's stop ruining the city. Okay. Yeah. Michael Ceres, Robin. Oh my God. Also just, like casting Jason Bateman now as Batman

and like seeing what his physical transformation is like because everybody, the secret desire of all of these Hollywood people to play Batman is that they get to like, you know, work with a trainer and get like super jacked. And I would just love to see like big Bateman on the screen. Big Bateman. Big Bateman. He never got jacked that I would just love to see like big Bateman on the screen. Big Bateman.

Big Bateman. He never got jacked. That's right. And Robert Pattinson really didn't really go that same route. He kept his hot topic body. He didn't try to pull a gun. There's a fun, there's a fun trivial pursuit card that was written a while ago that's like,

which of these acts, this is true, which of these actors did never play Batman? And the list is like, Christian Bale, yes, yes, Christian Bale, Adam West, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Ben Affleck. Literally all of them are correct because it was written before Ben Affleck. Improbably cast.

That's so funny. Wow, that is crazy, for a trivia thing to be wrong because it was just written before something like that happened. Right, they were like, what is the amount of landish actor that we can think of to play Batman? Well, they didn't think Connor O'Malley. You would be so good. There's no new ideas.

It's just like, well, let's get another guy to play Batman. I guess that's what we're doing now. If you did Connor O'Malley as Batman, though, they'd immediately be like, well, let's get another guy to play Batman. I guess that's what we're doing now. If you did Connor O'Malley as Batman though, they'd immediately be like, Bruce Wayne, like, there's no, that guy's so wholly unique, they're like, there's no way that's not Bruce Wayne. It's him, it's Bruce Wayne, it's that same guy. You can take all my money for that, by the way.

Connor O'Malley, I had to look up who this guy is. This is a deep cut. Watch his videos. He's fantastic. Okay, all right. All right, here's another one. I'm not scared. You know what would be great? Connor O'Malley as Batman and Joker. He's playing both of, all right. All right, here's another one. I'm not scared. You know what would be great?

Cotter O'Malley as Batman and Joker. He's playing both of them in the scene. He's playing everyone. Yes, it's the clumps. It's the Batman, where Cotter O'Malley is everyone. And he's just locked in a room. Batman, the clumps.

All right, I have to ask you guys, I'm sure you've thought about this. This is a prompt that I've seen other people answer. If you had to recast, if you could remake a movie entirely with Muppets, but one actor is human. Yeah. I think we did this and we talked about it

and it was the Bible. We want to see a Muppet Bible. The Bible movie. The Bible movie, yep. I think Erin's was ghost. Erin, I think she said Ghost in the Shell and Keep Scarlett Johansson. yep. I think Aaron's was ghost. Aaron, I think she said ghost in a shell and keep Scarlett Johansson. No.

I think it's a ghost. And I think Adol said, Passion of the Christ, all Muppets, but Gibson still directs. That's what he said. That's so good. Yeah, ghost, ghost, everyone's Muppets, except for that guy on the train.

Yeah. Okay, I'm not, here's another one. I'm not scared by snake sounds. In fact, it makes me want to snuggle with them. His and hers? Wow, that's so good. His and hers. You're close.

I mean, his and hers. His is right. His. His and piss. His. His and piss. His is the answer and we need the phrase. Yeah.

Can you say the whole question one more time? I'm not scared by snake sounds. In fact, it makes me want to snuggle them. Hug and kiss? Hug and kiss. Hiss, hiss. I've not gotten a single one of these. I'm so uniquely bad at these. Same, Adel is kicking her ass.

Let's see if we can break your streak. My favorite thing about this Dr. Seuss book is that the main character looks like my nana. Green eggs and ham, Graham. Grahams. What the fuck? I'm not even gonna try anymore, Addle. I can't even, my brain is trying to be like,

okay, so which one is the phrase and which one is the answer? I can't even get that part before Addle gets it. And can I just say, I'm able to just, almost like a bear catching salmon in a stream, I'm able to just put my claws in my brain and pull out an answer. And I don't know what's happening.

It's amazing. These are just speaking to the way my brain works. God, that is how a bear does it. The bears listening are like, uh dude, that takes a lot of practice. We actually really work at that. And that's reductive, You're being reductive. Uh, boy. Here's a new one.

Boy, communism really gets the hairs on my neck up. Okay, maybe just one hair. Hammer and sickle heckle? It's hackle, but yeah. Hackle. Okay. Hackle. Hackle literally means the hair on the back of your neck, I think. Alright, wow. Trying to give you the tricky ones. My wife bumped into a car while driving

and I told her, sweetie, you better get out of here. Hit and run, hun. Ball and chain made. Ball and chain. That's insane. What do you mean today's our anniversary? Of course I got you a gift. Sandy just keeps putting ball and chain.

I was like, I'm gonna answer these. We're like, everything okay? Sandy, working through some stuff with your muscles. Yeah, I tested these on the ball and chain last night. She's like, you never talk to me in your bane voice anymore. You know what my favorite, I guess it's vaguely misogynist.

I actually don't know, but I think only ever heard it referred to in this term, term is, is battle axe. When people are like, yeah, that old battle axe. I'm like, that sounds so cool, but I think it's derogatory. I just picture Gimli holding up that woman and swinging her around.

Right, when he said, and my axe, I just picture Gimli holding up that woman and swinging her around. Right. When he said, and my acts, he was talking about his wife. Yeah. Yeah. It's basically Boris. He's basically saying my wife. Uh, if someone calls an older woman a battle ax, it means she is very difficult and unpleasant because of her fearsome, determined attitude.

Okay. Boy, that is my new goal. That is my 10 year plan is I wanna be a battle ax. Check in on me in a decade, everybody. I wanna be a battle ax is so funny. Erin, is it okay then if I start referring to you as a battle ax? I would love it if you did.

Okay, Erin Keefe, that's a battle ax you don't wanna cross. Thank you, thank you, I love that. It's hard for me to even conceptualize what that is conveying. It's like so old timey misogyny, it's like what? I like my misogyny new and slick. Yeah.

Here's another one. I really like REM's version of this Susa March better. Rag and bone? Stars and Stripes. Stapes. Stipes. Scott. Michael Stipes.

Scott Stipes. Scott Stipes from the REM cover of it. Michael Stipes. Michael Stipes. So hey, I kinda got that one. You did kinda get that one. Good job. Alright, couple more.

Thank you, Sandy. I really like my good job. Speaking of more misogyny, that awful woman told me one thing and sold me another. Bait and switch, be rich. Bitch. It is bait and switch and bitch, not intended as a reflection of my opinion about any specific person. You're staring right at Aaron.

You're looking right at that battle axe. Maybe I should've said that female dog. Yeah, that old battle axe Aaron. All right, one more, one more. How about this? There's a stark difference between the way those two horses made that sound. Nay. Nay and Winnie? Ninnie? There's a stark difference between the way those two horses made that sound Nay and Winnie

Nanny Stark difference neither here nor there No, it's nay right to nay Nay, no way No Stark difference is neither right cuz that's nay No, since he's looking blankly. I think he's thinking about something else. Oh.

Stark difference. And then what? Boy, the way I feel today and the way I feel yesterday, blank and blank. Night and day. Night and day. Day. Of course.

Let me give you one more that you guys can guess. I was tripped up by the spelling. I was like, what's in GH? Oh, so sorry. So sorry. No, by the spelling. I was like, what ends in G-H? Oh, so sorry, so sorry. No, no, no. One more is really quick. Boy, that Swiss girl is so full of herself.

Pomp and Circumstance. Percumstance. Swiss and Miss, that Swiss girl. Boy, that Swiss girl is so full of herself. Pondue. Last. Heidi. Heidi.

High and mighty. High and mighty. High and mighty. Wow. All right. Good job, last. Heidi. Heidi. High and mighty. High and mighty. High and mighty. Wow. All right, good job y'all. Nice job. You look like you just ran a marathon.

You did great, Erin. You got significantly more than the zero you predicted. Erin, you basically just sat with me and flopped around in the mud, while Adil ran the whole course. And I had a great day. Yeah, me too. Oh good.

So what do you got going on? What do you got to plug or promote? Well, I'm still making the game that I talked about last time, which is Rattle. This is a word ladder transformation game where instead of changing a letter in the word to make a word ladder, you're changing the words entirely through transformations and clues that I give you. This is a daily word game. You can find it at rattle, r-a-d-d-l-e dot quest. It's been really fun. My advice if you are playing this

game is do not think of it like wordle. Think of it like a crossword because some of the clues, you'll have to like really kind of get into the puzzle maker's head a little bit to like get to the bottom of the clues. It's not like there's a touch of like, I wouldn't say subjective, but like a flair of personality in some of these answers. Right. And I offer tours of my head for a thousand dollars a minute. So if you sign up for that. of my head for, it starts at $1,000 a minute. So if you sign up for that. So yeah, so JPC is right. It's like, I'll give you a bunch of clues

and you have to figure out which clue works for the given word. So like if the ladder went from pinky to thumb, you'd have to change pinky into a new word. And one of the clues is pinky's cartoon partner, which is the clue would yield you the answer, the brain. And that would be the next step of the ladder. And then you keep going from there.

I also love that you can, I think, we're starting from the top down, but you can also reverse the letter and go from the bottom up, which is fun. Yeah, that's helpful for me sometimes. Big fan, big fan. Very cool. Anything else to plug Sandy? I also have a newsletter at signals.fun. It's a free monthly newsletter and I'm on Instagram at Mystery League.

And I yeah, that's about it. Awesome. Sandy, thank you so much. Hey, Aaron, we have to get rid of Sandy, but JPC and I don't want to be the bad guys. Do you mind being the battle axe? It kind of takes out. Hey, Sandy, stay as long as you want. Here, I'll make you a cup of tea. kind of picks up. Hey Sandy stay as long as you want here

Battle axe you are not I said give me ten years Alright Sandy, thank you so much. Well, we'll see you later. Oh boy. What do we have to plug? Addle what do you got? What do you got going on? I would say as always, check out Hello from the Magic Tavern, both the main feed and our Patreon. We have all kinds of fun stuff going on for our 10th anniversary. Also, I was recently a guest on the Press Play podcast talking about the video game and the movies of Mortal Kombat, so please check out Press Play podcast.

Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote? I would say check out Quality Time on Instagram. It's a once a month variety show I host in Los Angeles. I'm really proud of it. It's a true variety show. We've had history teachers, we've had Irish musicians. It is a blast, so check that out. GBC, any review to read or a plug?

Let's do some quick plugs. You can, it's still April, the plug? Let's do some quick plugs. You can, it's still April of the Penguins over on the Patreon. Patreon.com, slash, Hey, World of Riddles. Check it out. It's April of the Penguins all month long. And it's a blast over there. You can also get all of our April of the Penguins

merch at heyworldofriddle.dashary.com, or just click the link in the episode description. A lot of really cool new merch from Ariel Sinha over there. Five new logos. Oh yeah, if you're in Chicago, come and see World News Tonight at the I.O. Theater 730 on Saturday night every week. And yeah, you know what? I do have a review to read.

Oh, one more thing. Before we get to the review, we are announcing our slate of live shows for the, and we're to the review, we are announcing our slate of live shows for the and we're calling it the across the riddle verse tour Mmm. Yeah, we're going across the all the United States of America We almost called it, you know Would people have liked it if we called it United States of America because I think that would be very funny too Comment below. There's no place to comment.

We are going to 10 cities at least this year. We are going to be coming to Chicago, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Los Angeles, California, Denver, Colorado, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C., Boston, Massachusetts, and New York City. We have all of our dates are up on our website and you can check out them and get tickets to most of them. I think most of them you can buy tickets to right now. Some of them later in the year are not ready yet. At Hey Riddle Riddle. We'll let you know about that.

You don't have to keep checking. We'll let you know. We'll let you know. Heyriddleriddle.com slash live for tickets. You guys, can you believe we're going on tour? I know it's crazy. It's gonna be so much fun. I'm gonna bring my passport and get all these stamps.

Well, I don't know that you have to show your passport to go to, you actually do, I think, have to do it. I have to show it everywhere. Yeah. What city do you think we're gonna get into our biggest fight in? Portland. Portland?

Yeah. Wow, that's interesting, I would say Oregon. Oh, that's Portland, nevermind. Okay, I was gonna say the Pacific Northwest, but okay. Well, that's not on the list yet. If you're not in any of those cities that we are coming to or can't make it to any of those shows, the LA show also will have a live stream.

So at least one of our shows will be live streamed to you everywhere that you can get a ticket for. And we've been talking about it. We have some special guests for some of these shows. So we're gonna try different guests for different shows, but be on the lookout for that because we will announce those as we get a little closer to the dates.

And if you want us to come to your city, can we're gonna have, the link is in the show description if you wanna fill out the little form. Yeah, the live show requester. Can I mention one of the guests just as a little teaser? I think it might be fun. For St. Paul, I'm going to go ahead and say we have Bobby from Bobby's World.

Wow. He's an animated boy voiced, I believe, by Howie Mandel. And for Chicago, we do have JPC from Hey Riddle Riddle joining us for that show. God willing, God willing. Speaking of animated boys for the Denver, Colorado show, I think you know what we're talking about. for that show, God willing, God willing. Speaking of animated boys for the Denver, Colorado show, I think you know what we're talking about.

We got the guys from Hey Arnold. They live there now. We do. No, we got Cartman, come on Cartman. We got Cartman, no Olga. Yeah, so anyway, come see us on tour this year, across the Riddleverse tour, heyriddleriddle.com slash live. OK, and I would like to read a review.

If you want to get a review featured on the show, just leave a five star review anywhere you leave reviews. Hey, today we got one from Roxy Romero. Roxy Romero says, 20 plus hours straight. Huh. On a road trip from Ohio to Texas with my husband and daughter, because it seemed like a good idea in 2023 when we started talking about it.

Flash forward to now in 2024, okay, almost here, and it turns out not so much. Anyway, we've listened to Hey Riddle Riddle and Kooloo Crew for the whole drive there and back, nonstop. In fact, we're still on this road trip and still listening. There is no end. We're trapped, help! Someone say Jupiter, Neptune, Venus?

Ah, they don't remember either. That gives a whole different flavor, by the way, to their review because the review's probably from last year, but it seems like they've been on that road trip for like over a year. That's fun. That's scary. We should send a team to go look for them or something.

Yeah, who do we have? Who do we have on the deep bench? We got, we can say Coco Cashmere, the Bad News Gang. Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Casey Toney to the editing. And our grandparents in the music. Booko created by Emily Cardemus and Emily Nemours. One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle Riddle. Hey there Abbras and Kadabras, if you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another ch-ch-ch-ch-chatterbox. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the click group for $5 a month or starting a 7-day free trial or the review group for $8 a month plus you get those ad-free episodes.

See you there.