Hey Riddle Riddle - #364: What a Wonderful Phrase

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

We are back in person and wilder than ever!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Don't let your fears take hold of you as you dive into this addictive series. Love thrillers with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. Listen now on Audible. Hey everybody and welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. Erin, on your phone... I was putting it on airplane mode. Oh, on your phone to put it on airplane mode. If you don't put it away, I'm going to put it on airplane mode.

Throws it across the room. I could touch Adel's arm right now. I can kick you. You see it in the shins. Those are not my shins. It's a very special episode of Hey, Riddler Riddle. And of course, you know, it's the podcast about riddles. There's also some improv.

But it's live and in person in, let's see, let's time stamp this a bit. Erin, you're in town. You're in Chicago. Yes. We are currently not at war in town, you're in Chicago. Yes. We are currently not at war with Iran, but it's coming. Yeah. It is one million degrees outside.

Yes. Mm-hmm. I decided to come at the hottest time of the year where there's like a heat warning every day. My phone keeps being like, don't go outside, please. And that's Erin Keefe, that's Al Refine. I'm Jon Patrick Cohen, and this is Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast.

Erin, anywhere you go, it's the hottest time of the year. Bum-bwam-bwam-bwam-bwam. Bwam-bwam-bwam-bwam. Wow, I broke everything. Oh no. This feels really weird, strange, and uncomfortable to be in person. Yes. Yeah.

Let's stop. To sit in your stand, you mean? You mean to be a person? To exist as a person? I do believe that though I think that my natural form is I'm sort of like a pink glittery mist That decided to be a person for a while and it hurts. I don't like it. I can't wait to go back to being a mist Yeah, I always think of myself as like a gargoyle where I'm like, I love being still and observing and I love being on roofs

I don't want to be moving around. I think of myself as that puddle that Alex Mack becomes. With that still Alex Mack. Well, is it? Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. Water is still water, we even want it's ice. Well, we don't know, but we actually don't know

because when Alex Mack becomes that puddle, we don't know that the Alex Mack that grows out of the puddle is the same Alex Mack or like a brand new Alex Mack with the memories of the old Alex. Well, then if it's a brand new, but they have the same memories, isn't it essentially the same Alex Mack or like a brand new Alex Mack with the memories of the old Alex? Well, then if it's the same, like if it's a brand new, but they have the same memories, isn't it? Essentially the same one. Well, the point is Moot, because I don't want to be Alex Mack,

I want to be the Puddle. Well, let's talk about Theseus' Alex Mack. Theseus' Alex Mack! At what point, how many boards do you remove? So this is like a prestige situation, right? Illusionist. You're gonna... Illusionist? No, no, I'm joking.

They built a brand new Jessica Biel every day for that movie. And Edward Norton never knew the difference. He said, this is the same Jessica Biel. This is the same Jessica Biel? And they said, yes, this is the same Jessica Biel. And everyone's just hee hee hee hee hee. Snickering like a cartoon dog.

They didn't pay Paul Giamatti on that movie because they couldn't, because they were using the budget on building new Jessica Biels. I don't think Paul Giamatti on that movie because they couldn't, because they were using the budget on building new Jessica Beals. I don't think Paul Giamatti gets paid. No, no, no. I think it's like when they have like a monkey on Friends or something, where they're like.

You don't think they paid that? No, they paid that monkey. Just donations to the. I went to that monkey's New Year's party this year. Excuse me. Because they live in the hills, obviously off of the residuals in Friends. And there was so much cocaine.

I don't mean to do a ship of Theseus Mack or that monkey era, but that monkey is deceased. No, no, no, no, that monkey is very much alive. Theseus is? I'm looking up. It has hair plugs and it looks insane. It says a capsaicin. It went to Turkey.

A capsaicin monkey can live up to 10 years. What about a coaxaicin monkey? It says a coaxaicin It could have the night of its life. Yeah, I always see that monkey at Musso and Frank's just with a different girl every time. Stevie Nicks one night. The monkey from Friends has other credits too. Outbreak.

Yeah, Outbreak. It's the monkey from Outbreak as well, yes. Which is, in the monkey verse, is that, can I say that? Yeah. In the monkey verse? Casey Bleepett. Outbreak is like their citizen king. Right.

Like that's Godfather 2 for monkeys. That monkey did like four years on Grey's Anatomy and got killed off. He's been around the block. Who didn't though? Honestly, Grey's Anatomy went on way too long. It's still going on. I also did not.

It's still happening. It's 20 years in. So do you ever do Grey's Anatomy? Yeah. Hell yeah. She was a cadaver I think. Is that real? She was a, maybe a dead body on Chicago Hope or something.

Yeah. She's been on Chicago Hope twice. Once as maybe like a person who dies and then once as like some sort of like worker of like a city bureaucratic worker or something. Sure. They say the best two days of any actress life is the day that you die on Chicago Hope

and the day that you're a city bureaucratic worker on Chicago Hope. They say you die three times. Once when you physically pass away, once when someone says your name for the last time, once when you get your last residual check for Chicago Hope. It's only going to be two hits.

You hit the screen on Chicago Hope. And Fleetwood Macs the chain. Roll credits. Another little thing you can't. Is that the credits for Chicago Hope? Hell yeah. I didn't know that. No way it is. It's too expensive. You're never lonely again. Is that the credits for Chicago Hope? Hell yeah. I didn't know that.

No way it is. It's too expensive. The worst panic attacks I had in Chicago, and I had a lot, was. And we're going through your top 10, right? Yeah, here's the top 10. Holding a Johnny Carson envelope next to my head. You're confusing multiple things.

Sure. I went to go audition for, I think it was Chicago Fire. It was one of the Chicago. That's the Chicago professional soccer team. And it was two hours to get there because it was like Southeast by, I didn't have a car. I had to take the train. Sure.

It was like two hours to get there, maybe a little longer. And then I went in and I had to say one line and it was like, hey, back up. There were no survivors. And I said it and I did to say one line and it was like, hey, back up. There were no survivors. And I said it and I did it once and they went, okay, thank you. Erin, no judgment. Did you say it just like you said it now? I don't wanna say.

With a Boston accent and funny. Hey, back up, there were no survivors. Big wink to the camera. I was doing big swings, I went. Big wink to the camera. Yeah. And I didn't get it, but also I looked and was like, oh my God, it's two and a half hours back.

I took the day off from nannying. Yeah. I don't know, like, I'm gonna, how am I gonna make rent? This is such a nightmare. And I, the whole way back was like, felt like I was gonna pass out. I was like, what a waste. If I was a casting agent, I would.

Win. Win. Thank you. When I was a casting agent, I would- Win. Win. Thank you. When I'm a casting agent- Believe in yourself. When I'm a casting agent, I want people to tell me stuff like that where like when they come in and say the one line,

it's like, okay, that's whatever, I don't care. What's the story of today? And you're like, I took the day off work, I traveled two hours each way, and I'm like, you got it, you got the job. Not only that, but the people I nanny for, they had to stay home. They couldn't find last minute childcare.

That's such a night. They affected so many people's day. Mm-hmm. I would cast, I would put together maybe the worst episode of TV of all time, because I'm going off of sob stories, but up top before the episode. It's like a bunch of people with broken arms.

The Midwest, thewest polite casting director. I'm like, no, it's fine. But before credits, or maybe every time we go to commercial break, I want to post on the TV those sob stories so people get a sense of like, oh. This is why. I thought I hated that character or that actor, but I didn't realize that this was their story.

So I feel like that would be really fun. I watched Star Wars Episode I recently and after the credits hit, there's like a big like, you know, explainer text that comes up. It's the Star Wars crawl, but it just is like, Jake Lloyd's parents were actually a lot. And it's not really his fault because most of what you see on screen is like

projections from his parents were kind of making him. There's a reason but Colick Halkin doesn't act much Yeah, I like this movie a little better. Yeah, and then at the end it goes George or banks Huh? Well that one got away from us If someone's bored at work right now, and you know how to make that Star Wars girl. Can you please put what? Easy way to make I love in the credits like I would fucking die the movie's even released yet And they say judge our banks who that one got away from us That's like there's still time if you could put if you can put this crawl a galaxy at war the Imperial Trade Federation

Is a blockading the planet of Naboo also want to move judge our banks now hold on because Now did I the actual place is black, nothing that matters! You're sitting there, it's 1999, you're watching this, you're like, oh this is going to be the worst movie I've ever seen. This is going on way too long. Some of these aliens look like a certain race, but we didn't mean for that. So anyways, enjoy the film. So anyways, enjoy the film. Ah, so anyway, enjoy the film.

Oh, and this is Hey, Runner Run. Dot, dot, dot, please don't do Jar Jar Binks' petoi. Please avoid the Jar Jar petoi. Watching, rewatching episode one, which I have recently, and knowing in your heart that the Jar Jar Binks voice is not even the worst of the voices in that movie. Oh boy. My least favorite Star Wars character of all time

is the robot with the cough. I fucking. General Grievous. That's my word, because I'm like, why are we giving a robot a cough? Horrible. Yeah. Why wouldn't we if we have the technology?

And he has, doesn't he have like four arms or something? Yeah. Everything about him, he's my least't he have like four arms or something? Yeah. Everything about him, he's my least favorite fictional character of all time. This is insane! What an insane take! I agree, but here's the thing is, on the opposite side of the spectrum, on the other side of the coin, I think the best character of all time is Sebulba. Yeah, Sebulba's fun. Which one is that?

He's the guy who walks on his hands and drives with his feet. He's a pod racer. He's the pod, he's the messy pod raiser. Okay. One of my favorite- Some more messy. Perhaps apocryphal. Please don't use my name. Shivers.

I don't mind saying if this is not true, I don't mind spreading it around, but there was some, it was like Star Wars Force Awakens or some video game that they brought George Lucas on to do like a writing credit on, and they're like sitting at the table and they're pitching him the idea for the game. They're like, what we really need for the villain

of this game is like his Darth name, you know? He's gonna be a Sith. What do you think his name should be? Sith McFarland. He said Sith McFarland. George Lucas thought about it for a while, and he was like, I'd either go with Darth Icky or Darth Insanias.

Oh. I want to die. Did he ever have it or did he lose it? That's so interesting to think. Because you know what? I don't know. I mean, he had something. I think he was.

I think he liked computers. I think he likes computers. I think that's sort of how it ended. Like in THX and he did that stuff. But I think he was like a, I think he was computers. And I think that's sort of how it ends. Like in THX and he did that stuff. But I think he was like, um... I think he was always a better businessman than he was a creative or even a director. Well, I believe that the movie should be...

Any movie should be sort of run like a business, I think. I mean, he... Countries, movies. He truly did, like, because I think that he financed episode one by himself, which is why it was such a mess, because he didn't have a studio being like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He just did it all himself.

And the way that he did it. I think that studio would have gone, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 20th Century Fox would be like, I'm gonna lose my fucking job. I'm gonna lose my job. No, I don't think he ever had it. But you know, nobody ever has it, right?

Like, you know, you just, and no movies are made by one person, right? It's always, they're made by- Ari Aster movies are made by one person, right? They're made by, you know... Ari Aster. That's right. Damn near killed her. What? I was also thinking, like, Eddie Murphy, the Clumps? Pretty damn near sure that was basically one guy.

Yeah, think back to that set. He's holding the boom mic. What if he was? He's doing, like, Hercules and making fart sounds as the boom mic guy, and they're like, Eddie, only the people on stage are going to be seen in the movie. Eddie, we're worried about you.

Rest, Eddie. Eddie, please. You're overextending yourself. Eddie, please. Your kids are here. Please, they're crying. Please, Eddie. They're begging to see you, Eddie. Please. Okay, well, hey, so this is, how many times do I? How many times do you think I should introduce the podcast?

But we're here together in person and we're just enjoying it, okay? Yeah, we're just enjoying it. Okay, get off our fucking butts and backs and dicks and butts, dude. If you're one of those lunatics, sorry, that is binging Hey Riddle Riddle and listening to like eight episodes a day,

you might remember a time when we were all in person. We would record on Sunday nights. This is just like that. And this is just like that. It's Monday morning. We're more evolved now, but we used to sometimes start recording at like 9 p.m. and go till one in the morning on a Sunday night.

And now we're back in that kind of madness and let's see how it goes. And we have a guest in the studio. Wouldn't that be fucked if we just did this for 15 minutes? It's like the most famous person that we've ever had. Go ahead and say something. We got Hillary Clinton here with us today. Hillary Clinton sitting there on the fourth mic just like doing like the neck cut like

I don't want to be... To make eye contact with her publicist that's in the next room on her phone she's like Maria please please. We know you're texting each other. Who else could you be texting? Who else would you be texting, get me out of here right now? We kept talking over her.

She wanted to get in on that Star Wars bit. She had so much stuff. All right, okay. I have, later on in this, some original riddles. Oh, good. That have a new riddle format written by my friend Michael that I also wrote some as well. Whoa. But for now I wanna do warmup riddles. Oh, good. That have a new riddle format written by my friend Michael that I also wrote some as well. Whoa.

But for now I wanna do warmup riddles and I know the theme of this seems like I should have been on the receiving end of these warmup riddles, but I saw the, what is it called? Sign, sign. Subject of the email. Subject of the email. And I was too curious and I clicked on it

and then I was like, well, I've already clicked on it so I can't. Once you've clicked on it, you can't unclick on it. So these are Broadway Sorry adult standard Casey's phone to take probably a candid shot of us. I was trying to be so subtle I can see you better than I ever have. You should be only looking at my from the neck up. I'm trying. Okay, that's on you Don't dress so slutty if you don't want me. Are we gonna talk about it?

Speaking of dress slutty, we were talking about this because it is a hundred million degrees in Chicago and we were like, okay, so it's gonna be hot. We're gonna be in a studio. We have to dress appropriately. Erin and I, I would say we both have tank tops on. Yeah. Addle?

I'm in my slut summer. My slumber, if you will. It looks like the dead of winter. Long pants, full crew cut wool socks, two shirts, insane. Okay, I'm sorry I said you dressed like a slut. You look fantastic. And sluts are great. I'm digging myself an end-roll hole.

Can that be the title of this episode? No. And sluts are great. And sluts are great. That makes sense. And that's fantastic. It's great. That makes sense, Aaron, that makes sense. Okay, these are Broadway musical riddles. Ooh, yeah, Aaron. Aaron, you'll answer these.

Yeah, no, I think that these are well known enough that you guys can get them. I guess we'll fucking see. And these. What are the Broadway musicals that I know? You just saw Haley's Town. No, you didn't see Haley's Town. Nope, I didn't see it.

Moana. Yeah. you didn't see it. Nope, I didn't see it. Moana. Yeah. And Kanto. Okay. Are you counting in some? Oh yeah. I'm counting in space fridge. These are from Lauren.

And Lauren says, here's to a thousand more years of Hey Riddle Riddle, which is sort of the cruelest. I've signed a sheet to freeze my head and do riddles. Oh boy. A thousand more years. I'll commit to it. Yeah.

I'll do the podcast for a thousand more years. Erin? Yep. I could do another 18 minutes. Yeah. Same joke, okay. Okay. I have some change one letter Broadway show riddles.

This was a category on Jeopardy and it was so fun. I wrote some more. And I actually saw a category on Jeopardy and it was so fun, I wrote some more. And I actually saw this category on Jeopardy recently and. Did you think it was so fun? Yeah. Then why didn't you write some more? Oh, I was too busy writing. It was literally the same night that I wrote the Lou story.

So I was a little busy. Okay. Trying to figure out what rhymes with what. Here's the example. Skimbleshanks wears a fedora and a magical, and magical Mr. Mistoffelees dons a beret. You got it. Hats, this is Hats the musical.

All right, so you get it. And he's from Lauren. Okay, for Easter, these New York Bohemians are giving up their apartment. Lent. Yes. Wow. 526, hundred fishes.

Yep. Uh huh. And what are some, and Erin just a couple more songs from Lent. Um, oh yeah, this is easy. Let's open up a... Open up a restaurant on Ash Wednesday. Oh. Um. That worked out! That worked out pretty well.

I know, I think we're all kinda shocked. When I started it. I didn't know where I was Wednesday now here's here's the thing I do not know if Ash Wednesday is even around lit if it's part of lit or if it's a completely different time of the Year, but I gotta say pretty good pretty good In this Cervantes adaptation Don Quixote loves his green tea while fighting windmills. The man of La Ma- The man of La Matcha. The man of La Matcha.

That's a good one. I am I, Don Quixote, the lord of La Matcha. That's JPC's- Ringtone. What are the books you've consumed? I feel like you talk about that. Wait, what? Hold on, what am I? Don't you talk about Don Quixote a lot?

It's like you read it and it's funny. What the fuck is going on? First of all, I've never read Don Quixote. You always mention who's the sidekick. Sancho Panza? Yeah, you always talk about Sancho Panza. This is the most gaslit I've ever been in my entire life. You're obsessed with Sancho Panza.

I'm obsessed with Sancho Panza? This is like the thing when we did the past life reading and you were like, I went to this lady and all she talked about was horses. And you were like, that's all you're fucking talking about. Control F on the fucking scripts of when I've talked about Sancho Panza. Hi, okay, if I, I'm gonna spend the next week.

Sancho. Control F, is that just tantric? I've got great F control. Can't control my D or my C for shit, but my F. Jason Robert Brown's exploration of a marriage falling apart is now full of grizzlies. Five bears later. No, what's in it?

Oh shit. You got it. I know you know it. What's the musical name? I can't help you out. I thought it was five years later. But the last five bears. The last five bears.

I do wanna see a scene. Okay, great. JPC and Erin, you are a married bear couple and your baby bear you like things one way you like things another certain way the baby sort of a mix of the two of you and you're having a meeting to discuss how your child's a little off hmm I just think we have to be on the same page about these things oh yeah yeah so when we get a call from the school that our kid is playing

dice, playing cards, has a gambling problem. Okay. What parent famously has a gambling problem? I don't know. Well, okay. First of all, it's not a gambling problem if you win almost over half the time. okay then it's actually a career right would you say that someone who does a war series of poker is a gambling problem yeah okay well I didn't know that okay so you would say that yeah so I argue it and so like but and then also for your first reaction to be if they get kicked out of school that's a win because I gambled away their college fun. Do you think that part of it could be sending them to school and the only breakfast they've had is one hot pot of honey?

Could that be part of it? Because I would like to do like balanced breakfast. Wow. Salmon, berry from tree. That's not always a helpful to us. Or from log. Okay. Just honey for breakfast?

Maybe that's like a thousand, you know, grams of sugar. Okay. Maybe husband is too busy in Vegas in the world, what is it called? Lazy River. Okay. Why is it I only get a bear job on my birthday and father's day? We see the baby bear peaking around the corner, crying tears in his eyes. You know what?

I think that that's just right. Oh, you think that's just right? Yeah. Well maybe I gotta call up Goldilocks and see what she- I've been faking it every time. What's that? Yeah, I've been faking it every time. And remember when? Yeah, I've been faking it every time. And remember when I told you I was hibernating?

I wasn't hibernating, I was just trying to avoid having bear sex with you. You spent four months avoiding having bear sex with me, pretending to be asleep? Yeah. I was hibernating! You could- Yeah, I'm exhausted. Maybe this is why you're such a bear bitch. Whoa!

Okay, justice for that bear. Maybe this is why you're such a bare bitch. See? Whoa. Okay, justice for that bear. I put a pine cone in my ass and fake sleep for four months to get out of sex. We've all done that, okay? I lost 80 pounds to not have sex with you. Jason Robert Brown, oh, we already did that. Oh, Aaron.

Skip that one then, Aaron. Let's not do one that we've already done. Let's do a new one. As Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote, "'Don't online RSVP for me, Argentina.'" Evita. Yeah, and you love it? That rules.

Rachel Ziegler is Evita. This Rachel Ziegler playing Evita has reignited my love for the song Rainbow High. And now I'm listening to it nonstop. I have to get off of that, my Evita train, and get back on my Jesus Christ Superstar train because we're seeing it. Yeah.

We are, yes. Finally, an in for me. Yes. Yes. We are seeing it. Soon we're seeing it. And you know that musical. I know Jesus Christ Superstar very well.

Is that gonna be one of them? Yeah, maybe. Or maybe not. I don't know if you know. And Rachel Ziegler is in an Evita movie or she's on Broadway doing it? She's on the West End doing it and it's getting a lot of attention because the-

Because we're talking about it? Because we're talking about it. But she, Don't Cry For Me, Argentina, which I'm sure you know that song too. Don't cry for me, Argentina. There you go. Yeah. This production has her going outside the theater,

like on top of the theater and sing on the balcony and singing it to a crowd, whatever crowd is out there for free during the show and they film it. No. Show it. And some people are pissed cause they're like, I paid tickets to see the show and we don't get to see the song.

But everyone I know who saw it said it worked really well. And then she does the reprise inside. So they felt like they weren't missing out. I saw Sunset Boulevard. And one of the songs is the guy walking through Times Square. Sunset Boulevard. And they film him. Every night they film him live.

And we as an audience watch it on like a screen on stage. And it is really cool. Are they watching it on a screen in the audience? Cause it would be fucking awesome if they just had to sit in silence for three minutes while she sings that song. And they could kind of hear it. They're buying drinks and snacks.

If you go out to the lobby, you can hear it better. This is the best song, this is the one song I know. Everybody rushes the lobby for that song. So they could like hear it a little better. Concessions gets fucked. That's so funny, I don't know why this reminds me of this. I went to a wedding this past weekend and I thought, I was like, if I still made sketches,

I'd make this into a sketch. I was on the dance floor and dancing and I was like, if I still made sketches, I'd make this into a sketch. I was on the dance floor and dancing, and I was like, I would love to hear what this sounds like if the music audio came out, and just us like sort of half singing the lyrics at each other. And being like, woo! Cause I think it would sound so embarrassing, I gotta say.

Just be like, I don't care, yeah! Oh, I don't care, woo, I love it! There's a series on YouTube. That's the song, by the way, that you don't know the words to. I don't know the words that he's on. It's just I don't care, I love it. It's just I don't care,

and I drove my bridge over a car today. Okay, so here's the problem. I'm the man of the car today, oh my God! You're married! I drove my bridge over a car today. There's a YouTube series from like 15 years ago, Casey knows it, where it's like, pot, maybe not popular, but they take music videos

and stuff and take out the track and add in what they thought it sounded like live on set. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like the Beach Boys singing I Get Around, and they're clapping and all you hear is like the offbeat clapping and then they're like, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. It's- That's so fun. It's a laugh every time, I never don't laugh. and then you hear the offbeat clapping and then they're like... -♪ W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w Yeah. And where's my millions of dollars, huh? This is actually a pastiche mumble.

It's not a parody mumble. I think you should- It's a mumble in the style of. Mumbling sons. Aaron, I think you should do weddings and you should be like Dan Band or something where it's like you do covers, but the way your signature is like-

You know Dan Band, right Aaron? Yeah. You just do that for every song. I think that'd be a hit. And Aaron, you only do requests. So you just, the band knows the songs, but you just pull a thing out of the thing and go, okay, we're gonna do Total Eclipse of the Heart

by Pat Benatar, whoever sings that. It's not Pat Benatar, is it? Yeah, I think so. I think it is. Okay, it could be. Give me an request, I can do it. I thought it made Gloria Gaynor. Don't blow your love out on my baby. If you do, it'll drive me crazy.

I don't know that song. How about? Well, you have to say the name of the song. Don't pour your love on my baby, if you do, it'll drive me crazy. I don't know that song. How about... Well, you have to say the name of the song. Don't just do the thing that she's supposed to do. Erin Toxic by Britney Spears. Yeah. That's part of the lyrics, Erin!

That part doesn't even have lyrics! Right. Hold on, she's onto something. She's onto something. And I say, and it can't be made, I need a new, And never say my day, you're lovin' it And never say, but but, but, but, but, but, but But I'm scared of you, I'm scared of you I can't stress enough,

if someone can do the Star Wars scroll, crawl credits, but with what Erin just did. I just put this over the music video. Now I like it better, now I like it better that Erin's singing the melody of the song, not the lyrics. She's like, she gets under pressure, she's like, Dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba, dum ba dum ba dum ba.

The best compliment I get. Dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba. Dum ba dum ba dum ba dum ba, bum bum ch, bum bum ch, dum ba dum ba dum ba. The best compliment I get from doing Hey, Whatever, Whatever, This was like seven years ago, is I did the Pretty Little Liars theme song. I did my best attempt at it. And people are like, that is the lyrics I still hear.

Oh, interesting. More of the lyrics again? And a secret, and I like it. And this time I stay. And you put it in your pocket. And this girl's in a grave. Nailed it. OK.

Yeah, you can come see my production of Mumbling Aveda in Winamac Park this week. 130 in the morning. It was a couple weeks ago. Please bring me boxed wine. Boxed wine! Um, okay. In this Elton John and Tim Rice musical,

Simba is into some freaky stuff. The lion kink. Yeah, you got it. You can participate in this. Kingy boots. I'd like to see a scene. You're both Timon and Pumbaa. You can decide who is who. And one of you is going to reveal to the other

that you have some unusual kinks that the other didn't know about. Oh, I feel so dirty. I was wallowing in the mud. to the other that you have some like maybe unusual kinks that the other didn't know about. Oh, I feel so dirty. I was wallowing in the mud. I feel so, so I should, I should probably wash this off, right? I mean, wash it off if you want to wash it off. I mean, if it's just between you and me, if we're just in the watering hole.

Nathan Lane, Nathan Lane. I actually don't. Other guy, the guy who played Pumba. No, you you'll never pull it You could have pulled Lane, but you'll never pull Pumba. It's probably the same guy who played Gimli, right? Probably? Seems a mess John Rhys Davis But I think actually I might just leave the mud on because it makes me feel sexy Pumba if you want to leave the mud on because it makes you feel sexy you should leave the mud on

Okay, but if you feel like you need to take the mud off and you want to put it in this little cup And then not care what happens to the little cup little cup and then not care what happens to the little cup even if someone's very thirsty you don't ask what happens to the little cup you can do that as well writes on a piece of paper what the fuck right so the piece of paper come on my titties shows it to Erin waits for her reaction puts a question mark Aaron is that okay if I sing that high slide back a piece of paper It says ten million dollars. I look at it. I nod won't do the song won't sing her come on Dude I scenes for real scenes. Do Nathan Lane.

Someone do Nathan Lane. Um, uh, oh, uh, hold on. Oh, no, the bird cage! Um. Oh, it's the bird cage! Um. I'm Nathan Lane. This is Nathan Lane?

I was in the producers. Does he have the warble? Um. Uh. When you see a guy screech for stars in the sky you can bet that she's doing it for some doll Okay, but do but do Nathan Lane without singing. Oh, yeah Oh cuz that's that's Timon Timon is Nathan Lane without singing. Why didn't I just draw them a map? That's pretty good. Wait, can we do this scene over and

No, dude, we'll do Timon as Seth Rogen. Wait, I'll be Seth Rogen, and then who played the Billy Eichner? Billy Eichner. Hey, actually, no thank you. You know what that felt like? You know the scene in Community where Troy goes to get the pizza? No.

And he comes back and the room's on fire and someone's been shot. Yes, now I do. And he's like, ah! Yeah. Yeah, that's how that felt coming. I felt like I turned around for one second and then you guys had made a mess of that scene.

Masterpiece. Oh, what'd you say? Billy Eichner would be a good Timon. A come on my titties. What a wonderful phrase. Seeing that. A come on my titties. Casey, cut back.

I think you want a wonderful phrase. Casey, clip this. Ain't no passing craze. It means I'm horny for the rest of the day. Tim Rice is rolling over in his bed It means I'm horny in a very specific way It's our problem free philosophy Hakama, makata, hakama, makata, hakama, makata

No I don't You do, you need to Hakama, makata, hakama, makata I don't have to change any words. I think it works just fine. Don't start to come on my titties and get mad when I start having fun. Can you come on my titties?

If we write the line come, period. They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line. They're coming on their titties. I'm gonna come. Not yet. Sitting down to write the line come Fall in love and here's the bottom line. They're coming on their titties. Huh? I'm gonna come. Not yet. Sitting down to write the line come and then being like,

okay, so they're kids for the first 40 minutes. They're saying, ehh. I'm gonna bust a mighty load. This is bad. This is bad. Well, I've never seen cockatiels with quite so little hair.

Erin, is this good? Hi, hi, you guys, I keep... Keep a towel by the side of the bed. Be prepared. Aaron, we just got nominated for Tony. Aaron, we got nominated for Tony. A Casey Tony, which is worth nothing. Casey Tony's nominating us for many Casey Tony's. Arabian Nuts. No. Wait, come on in, come on in!

Arabian Nuts! I just came, I'm gonna come! You ain't never gonna come on me! Commercial, commercial, commercial! Break! We gotta go on a break. Ah! One, two, three, four, eight, rick, to brick, go.

Oh, GPC, I feel so silly. Oh, GPC, I feel so silly. Oh, GPC, I feel so silly. Oh, GPC, I feel so silly. Oh, GPC, I feel so silly. Oh, GPC, I feel so silly. Erin went to go visit her Aunt Artica. You know how in Boston they all have crazy names?

Oh, yeah, and crazy accents. I can barely understand a word she says. Yeah. OK. Anyway, her aunt lives in Antarctica, and, um... That makes sense. Seems like Erin is having a bit of the thing situation going on, but I feel very relaxed because I have been dabbling

in some Schedule 35. Have you heard? Oh, Schedule 35. Now you heard? Oh, schedule 35. Now, I had heard, Adol, that there's an emerging movement around psilocybin is proven to help with mental health, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. And I can see how you'd have a little anxiety and depression about, you know, our co-hosts

going to her aunts in Artica or whatever. Yeah, and she might be like a thing, like one of those. Anyway, Schedule 35 sends you precisely measured microdoses of psilocybin that you can take daily to enhance your day, especially if like your friend's going through a stressful time and keeps kind of leaning on you and you're like, I don't know, man. Yeah, and Schedule 35 ships all across Canada and the US

and is the most notable brand currently in the space. Speaking of ships, the ship that she took to do her, like whatever the thing thing. And I think it's better than it's becoming of the thing thing, because honestly she could meet Kurt Russell. Oh yeah. Kurt Russell, right? I'm not wrong about that. Right?

Yeah. And Aaron's a bit of a Goldie Hawn type, so we'll see how that plays out. But I feel better than ever. I feel like anytime I take schedule 35, I feel relaxed, I feel creative, I feel sort of on top of my game. So it's been a real treat. No offense, Aaron. All products come with guides that make microdosing easy to understand.

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and enjoy my son in this summer's movie. You know what? I don't hate your son. I think he's fine. Yeah, he's actually, he always plays like kind of a, you know, kind of a- Yeah, of all the sons of the famous things, I think there's really, I don't mind him.

Yeah, agreed. Agre sons of the famous things, I think there's really... He's... I don't mind him. Yeah, agreed. Agreed from his dad! Hahaha! With a five dollar meal deal with New McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.

Prices and participation may vary. McDouble Meal's six dollars in some markets for a limited time only. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay guys, now I can hang out. I just sat in the sun for a little while. Whoa! I've been drinking water. Yikes! No, I look fantastic. I just normally look very sick and that's why you're confused. Oh. But I'm taking care of myself this summer. This is you healthy? Yeah, me healthy. I gots to have. Yeah, well it's not just my outer health, it's my inner health as well.

Oh, like carrots eating carrots? No, no, my brain. My brain, I've been using BetterHelp, which is online therapy. And you know what, it's so nice to be able to message my counselor anytime, even during the summer. I'm prioritizing myself. Think I'm getting everything in order.

Well, Erin, your gray matter is looking gorge. Thank you. And also I know with BetterHelp, they have over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 5 million people globally. And there is nothing like talking through your issues with a professional.

It can give you like new perspective. I really benefit from therapy and just kind of like having a moment for self reflection and a time scheduled every week where I can explore that self reflection with someone who is trained to kind of help guide me through that. Oh yeah. And Aaron, I've heard it's like soups convenient too. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a. That's cool, cool way to talk.

I actually got younger by using BetterHelp. I'm like 22 now. It's supes convenient. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, which for my generation was like, pretty primo, I think we say. Helping, this helps you fit therapy into your busy life.

And I'm supes biz. Plus, switch therapists at any time. We call that a switcheroo. Ooh. Rez. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Unwind from work with BetterHelp. Our listeners can get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash Riddle. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. Based, honestly based. You slayed with that one, Aaron. I need to go back to therapy. And we're back.

We wrote the script, we pounded it out. I think we're opening. We wrote the script. We pounded it out. I think we're opening. And then we put pen to paper. We pounded it out. Then we wrote it. The Lion Come will open on the West End. And we changed it from the Lion King to the Lion Come.

Sorry, that was draft three or four. We're opening on the West End, which is what I call LA. Next year, next August, so we're excited. So if you want to hunt and kill us, you know where to find us. Yeah. That zapped me. I feel like that aged me 100 years.

When we were in break, I said that I kept swinging between just intense hatred for that bit and loving it so much. I mean, you saying be prepared, really fucking. You know, it's the opposite of love is not hatred, it's indifference. So you were kind of horseshoe along there, Erin. You were close to them both.

Well said. We have a few more of these from Lauren. Thank you, Lauren, for writing these. I could use a thousand more of these if people are interested in. There can't be a thousand musicals though. I think so. Huh? There's probably that many. Uh if people are interested in. There can't be a thousand musicals though. I think so. There's probably that many.

Uh-huh. These dancers sing, God I hope I get it, but with the help of vitamin C, they won't get scurvy. Okay, vitamin C singing the graduation song. God I hope I get it. I hope I get it. This is a chorus.

Uh-huh. Wait, well, vitamin C. A chorus line. A chorus line. A chorus line, wow. Adel, you get the point. What? well, by the way, A Chorus Lime! A Chorus Lime! A Chorus Lime, wow. Adel, you get the point. What?

Oh well, hold on now. Now hold on now! The only way I could possibly win this game is if someone tells me the musical. Where did you get that seersucker suit? No, I'm a seersucker suit! Wait, is he saying your honor? Cause I'm hearing y'auna. Y'auna.

Y'auna. I was watching a movie late last night and I was a bit of a y'auna. You guys, I got more texts when Karen Reed was found innocent than I did on my birthday. I'll tell you what, Aaron, I got more texts when Karen Reed was found innocent from you than I did on my birthday. I'll tell you what, Erin, I got more texts when Karen Reed was found innocent from you

than I normally get. I got one text that said Karen Reed was found innocent. Erin, did you cry? I don't wanna say. She did. Yeah. I just, I could not believe it. I was so, I did call my mom right away.

It does seem likely that you got a lot of texts because it does seem like. I talked about it too much. You talked about a lot. I definitely think it was maybe the first, was it a lot of the first conversations you were having with people? They were like, how's it going?

You're like, great, let me tell you about the Tara Reid trial. Yeah. Yeah. I sort of was looking for any opportunity in moments. Like I just wanted anyone to bring up anything tangential so I could go off. Anything to do with cars. Yeah, anything.

Or women or. Yeah, terror read. People, yeah. Anything like that. Sharknado. Also, A Chorus Line, I think, is the Broadway cast album I've listened to the most in my life. During my summer vacation, I used to lay on my trampoline

and listen to it like eight to 10 times. You're doing it. Like in a row, like full. Erin, famously on the show, I don't know dick about shit, but his chorus line, is this more like a dance musical? Because it sounds like a dance musical. It is, but it is based on real interviews with dancers. So they like-

I've talked to some dancers, I gotta say. That sounds boring as shit. Well, they will- Hey, if you want to talk about dance, talk to a dancer. You want to talk about literally anything else? I would avoid conversations with dancers. Each of their songs is sort of like they talk about their origin story or it was like, like one of them is like being not confident in their acting.

One of them is feeling like not attracted enough and then they did a song based on all of them. They love their headshots. I've seen the YouTube video of the guy, maybe it's from like a documentary, but it's a guy auditioning for Chorus Line. Oh, that Chorus Line documentary is so hard to watch. The casting directors are like crying. Oh, he's so good in that.

But the, there's a part- Why are they crying? Wait, what? Because there's a famous monologue on a chorus line that one of the dancers does, where he didn't feel safe enough being vulnerable around other people. And the musical takes place in the 70s,

and it's him talking about being gay and what he had to deal with in that. And the guy who did the monologue, I think it hit a little close to home for him, the guy who ended up getting the part. Got it. And when they showed his full audition. But also, the part of that documentary that is so raw and hard to watch, is there's a part where a woman

has to sing a really high note and they played a montage of all the women trying to hit that note in the auditions and it is oh it's too vulnerable it's too hard to watch so skip that. Can you give us a little impression? I will blow out your ear. Erin I got a question for you. Yeah. Do you go into that audition thinking, I know I can't hit the note, but I can get close? Or do you think that all of the people that went into that audition said, I can hit this note. I've hit this note in practice.

I'm able to hit this note. And then couldn't do it under the pressure. I think that they go, it's probably physically possible for me to hit this note. And on my most calm collected day, I could probably do it. I could do it. But they showed the final callbacks. Yeah. I think the stakes are too high. And it's the end of At the Ballet. Sure. At the ballet, the ballet,

the ballet. And it's like... Yeah, big note. It's a big note. I just, I can't see a situation where I'm going into the interview and then like, okay, so it says here that I have to know C++. I don't know programming at all, but I think I'm gonna wing it for the interview. Like you must, I think it's fair play to play the clips because it's like, hey man, you knew that the song was coming in the interview, right? Like you knew it was coming.

I think there's a certain amount. that the song was coming in the interview, right? Like, you knew it was coming. I think there's a certain amount, there's a certain percentage of, as the kids say, delulu from Broadway actors. That's crazy. There's a confidence they have to use as armor that won't allow them to back down from a challenge. Yeah. You gotta be, like, you gotta hype yourself up

and like do a persona of your most confident self in order to do that. God bless him. Do you think Lin-Manuel Miranda would have gotten cast as Hamilton if he hadn't removed? I don't know. No. If he hadn't read that by somebody else?

I know, I know, I know, I know. How can this sad teen wave through a window with such big Ursine, Is that how you say it? Pause. Bear Evan Hansen. Yeah. Bear Evan Hansen. Is it ursine?

Ursine, yeah. Ursine, yeah. Porsine. In this cold porter nautical musical, feet are delightful, delicious, and de-lovely. This is my favorite one. Sorry Erin, can you repeat it? I missed the first part.

In this cold porter nautical musical, feet are delightful, delicious, and de-lovely. Nautical musical? Parts of blows. Parts of potatoes. Anything. Wait. Is it really Anything Goes?

Delightful, the what? It's the feet part is what you're focusing on. Anything Toes. Anything Toes. Anything Toes. The best opening to any Indiana Jones movie is that song. And then also I saw Anything Goes. What?

Which movie is that? Oh, is that the... It's the one where he... Is that the second one? The second one. The club or whatever. Where Kate Capshaw, formerly Mrs. Spielberg, sings Anything Goes. Oh no.

Yeah, they broke up 25 years ago. No, wait, he married... Was he with Kate Capshaw? Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. He's still with her. Okay, but he was married to the woman from the first Indiana Jones? Third.

What, no, no, no, he left the first wife and to be with Kate Capshaw. But it wasn't on the set, it was like seven years after. Well, I mean, who knows? E.T. bone down. But I saw anything goes with Sutton Foster and you get the ET bone down I don't understand what that it's he bone down Steven Spielberg directed ET ET phone home turns into ET bone down I can't walk you through everything. I think you're burning more calories in your brain, but home to down

My only problem is home to down Not every song scans But I saw anything goes with Sutton Foster and Joel Gray. And I was like, oh my gosh, Joel Gray, legend. And he had to wear an earpiece and he was being fed his lines. So anytime someone talked to him, there'd be three seconds of silence and then him saying a line.

It was kind of sad. Hey, it sounds like you're complaining, but the name of the fucking show is Anything Goes. So anything he did was within the parameters of the show. Huh, I never thought about that. I was in Anything Goes. Anything Goes. I'm not gonna learn my lies.

I'm not gonna sing any songs. Anything Goes. You paid for the ticket, dudass. Erin, who'd you play? No one. I was just in the ensemble. That was the first time in many years, though, I think I got to play a woman in my summer theater program. I was on, I was in all the boy ensembles.

Yeah, they did reverse Shakespeare roles. Yep. I had to- No, I guess that would just be- I was a pirate in Pirates of the Sands. Yeah, in the reverse of Shakespeare. And then I was a sailor in South Pacific. And my line as a 12 year old girl

in Nothing Like a Dame was, we've got every kind of feeling, but the feeling of relief. Like we're not getting fucked. Is this a preparation age commercial? Yeah, I'm like, I just, my line was about being horny. We got every kind of feeling, but the feeling of relief.

We've got every kind of feeling. Because the chorus of the song is, there is nothing like a dame. Nothing in the world. I'm missing the context of the chorus of the song. There is nothing you can name that is anything like a dame. And then we're like, we really miss the girls. The girls are really cute.

I do like the idea of a guy who can feel everything but horny. Well, he feels horny, but he doesn't feel the relief from horniness. He wishes he was in the Lion King. He wants to come, but he can't. Yeah. A 12-year-old girl talking about being a World War II sailor. It's fine.

I turned out okay. The thing we do for children to make their art. Yeah. So these are written by my friend Michael. Thank you, Michael. These riddles were originally, he thought of these because hypothetically, I might be planning an episode

that is meant to drive JPC crazy. These riddles were originally, hypothetically he thought of. Okay, I couldn't track the sentence. Good. Trying to drive JPC crazy is like getting in your car. If we went outside, getting in your car. If we went outside, got in my car and said, let's go to Chicago. You're right.

So it's like a hat on a hat. It's a little redundant is what you're saying. Like if I add more crazy to his place, he gets normal. Yeah. Yeah. Getting in your car and saying, let's drive to Chicago. It's like saying, let's make Jesus Christ like. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't agree with us. No, no, I'm tracking with this. This definitely tracks me, yeah. That's like the always sunny joke, where Charlie is like, he doesn't even get us, man. And they're like, we're talking about you. Okay, all right.

It's like driving to a drive-thru and then asking them for their order. It's like driving to a drive-thru and then asking them for their order. It's like rain, but. They make it about cum. It's like being a natural blonde and going to the hair salon and asking for blonde hair. Yeah, well that's actually a blonde joke and that's very funny.

He's already too crazy. I can't anymore. But these are, they were meant, you were gonna be sort of a sacrificial lamb in this saddle and I'm so sorry. No, I'm hungry. I only like lamb when it's been sacrificed. But these were, I wanted to sort of drive you insane

and kind of gaslight you. So all of these riddles technically have two answers. Oh, okay, I like that. And one of them is a little bit more literal and one of is a little bit more metaphorical. Now these are hard. So I'd say between me and Michael's, maybe only two of these I think work well.

This is the Michael I know? Yes. Cool. Gonna fire off a quick text real quick. Yeah, do it. Just gonna say fuck you. Erin, do we need a piece of paper or anything? No, I think just turn your listening ears on. Keep your heart open.

What do you think? Do you have a chakra that you think is blocked? What chakra of yours do you think is? What are chakras, Ian? They're like energy, like where energy emits from your body. This is like top of the head. Yeah, blocked. Third eye.

Blocked. Keep going. Throat. Blocked. Heart. Blocked. Stomach. Blocked.

And like root. Blocked. Heart. Blocked. Stomach. Blocked. And like root. Blocked. Yeah, okay. And Adel, you were telling me earlier that you shocker the monkey, right? All holes filled is what I said.

Oh, God. Airtight. My shockers are airtight. So you were at that New Year's party. One billion served, all holes filled. I'm clipping that. No, don't, no. Casey.

Casey live clipping. Casey live clipping in this episode. Yeah, so I don't know. I think Michael's are better than mine, at least. So let's get this started. Well, actually, let me hear him first. OK. Just for clarification, I did text Michael, fuck you.

And the last thing that we had texted about was, when he was going to be in town getting breakfast. So that fuck you should come out of nowhere. Yeah, or he should be like, what happened at that breakfast? I hold things together without any glue. I come in all shapes, sizes and hues. Soon tie the knot or let me extend,

pull me too tight and I might just end. Pull me too tight and I might just end. Hmm. Pull me too tight and I might just end. Is this a knot? That sounds like. That's close. Yeah. What's a knot made out of? Rope.

Yarm. Yeah, that works. Okay, great. But that's one of the answers. Okay. So if I had been driving you crazy, I'd been like, no, and then would have waited for the other answer.

Hmm. Oh, okay. Okay. But I'm nice. So give me the riddle again. I want to get both answers because I'm a completionist. I want to platinum this thing. I hold things together without any glue. First of all, I got dinner with Michael last night, and then he was giving the table these example like these riddles to show them.

And someone asked him to read it again. And he was like, and I went, so now you know. And now you know how it feels. I went, so now you know. And now you know how it feels. I hold things together without any glue. I come in all shapes, sizes and hues soon tie the knot and let me extend. Pull me too tight and I might just end. And so I said rope and that was that worked. Yes. So that one is remember has two answers.

Yeah. String. I'm stringing the rope is the same. Oh, yeah, sure. And the other one is more of like a metaphorical like this is like a flowery way to explain this thing And Erin do the two words like rhyme or connect is okay. They're totally different Hmm Is that like patience? No, pull me too hard and I might what was it pull me too tight and I might just end No. Pull me too hard and I might, what was it? Pull me too tight and I might just end.

Pull me too. Maybe someone with anxious attachment style would pull something too tight. Oh, their hair? No. Their leg hair? No. Erin, don't make me guess the other hair.

Pull me too tight. Do it. Say it. What's butt pubic hair called? Oh my God, PC. Bluebic hair? It's your home, kick him out. Is it bluebic hair? No Oh my god, Casey. Blubic hair? It's your home, kick him out. Is it blubic hair?

No. Michael Bu-blu-blic hair? Don't. Okay, is it a concept? Something there, but we don't have the time. Is it a concept? No, it's like, kind of. It's like a thing.

If you have anxious attachment style, in where does that show up? In your? Fingernails. No, it's not. Everyday life. Literal. Interpersonal relationships. Yep. Friends. These are relationships. Relationships? Yeah, relationships. In your fingernails. No, it's not her day life literal interpersonal relationship. Yeah friends

I'd like to see a scene Adel you were breaking up with JPC cuz JPC has gotten like a little too attached and a little too clean Oh my god, we totally fit in this sweater. No, that's totally fit in this sweater. Yeah, I'm gonna take my hat off. You were so wrong. Okay, um, yeah, you really just kind of swooped in there. You were so wrong. We both fit in this sweater. No, you should wear it.

It looks better on you. Our necks are pressed together so tight. Josh, I thought we, just like a sweater, you know how sweaters come undone? We're gonna go see Weezer? You got Weezer tickets? Aww. No, that's my least favorite band. I told you. Maladroid's the only good album and I hate everything else.

Okay, on SeatGeek, they have one ticket. Do you think we could split one ticket if we both sat on in with... I would say you should snag it and then... And then I'm gonna keep talking. Josh, I feel much like Weezer I feel like... Okay someone didn't like Weezer now they much like Weezer? The only way I could get through to you... Change your mind on a dime! Okay Josh you have to take off that guitar hero controller it's not attached to anything you can't... It's attached to me! It's attached to us! Oh this is so us! This is like when a five-year-old puts on their first Halloween costume and You can't touch to me. You're like us. Oh, this is so us. Oh

This is like when a five-year-old puts on a their first Halloween costume and then they wear it for three months a five-year-old I guess I'd have a baby with you. I'm not You have three kids from a previous Yeah, oh my god, what I love about kids is they tie you to someone forever Forever. How do I say this in a way that you'll understand? You can't. This bottle of Seagrams. You love and you shant. This bottle of Seagrams?

My ice box? Wait. Awakens ancient feelings? Yes, but ancient in terms of, you know how people used to die when they were like 27? Oh my god, how romantic. I think our relationship should. For us to die together? I want to be thinking about you as I die. I hope that's not what you think

I hope you're at a Weezer concert when you die. Not this one. I'm not saying that I'm just saying I hope they play forever Oh my god, I love your sweater Thank you. What a cute couple. Would you believe this is a sweater for one? But two people are in there but two fits you guys are so cute together. Have a good one. Two fits in so many sweaters. Oh my god, I miss her. She was so nice. See?

Perfect. We might actually only get through the ones that Michael wrote. Thank god, because mine are significantly worse. Now I want to hear one of yours. Yeah, why don't we do one on one? Why don't we switch on one on one, I literally realized this is for the... Erin. I'll do one of mine. Erin, sometimes you say like,

oh, I did this thing and it's not very good. And most of the time you're right. I mean, it is 100%. You called it. You know yourself better than I know you. But sometimes Erin, you surprise yourself. You say, I phoned in this riddle, didn't spend all night writing a good one, didn't keep it tight.

Why don't you bet on yourself for once, Erin? I always do. Draft Queens. I live in locks and treasure chests. I keep things safe and cause unrest. Without the right match, I won't give way. But once I do, you might betray. See Erin, this is what we're talking about.

Yeah, I've been wrong before. Yeah, so I'll go back to Michael's. I live in locks. I see, I don't even care about this one. Capers. No. What goes with a lock? Key. Capers.

Yeah, a key. Messy. And then what do you portray? Everyone, my friends and family, people who hold secrets. You've betrayed my? Confidence. Trust. There you go, you got it, key and trust.

Back to Michael's. Key and trust, such a good sketch show. Speaking my confidence. Trust. There you go, you got it. Key and trust, back to Michael's. Key and trust, such a good sketch show. Speaking of confidence. I mark the start, I note the end. I pass around, but rarely bend. I'm a part of life, like stars and rain, but when I'm gone, none can remain. The sun, light.

But when I'm gone, none can remain. Well, the sun would be great there, right? The way Michael said that he wrote these. Water? No, by, he looked up existing riddles and saw some of the words and then went, what is something else that could describe it? He took some of those words.

Work smart, not hard. Yes. I think I owe Michael an apology. I think you already said fuck you. Do you think if I. Yes. I think I owe Michael an apology. I think you already said fuck you. Do you think if I text someone fuck you, I owe them an apology? I don't think so. No. You're right.

Quick check. That's not texted back yet. Just follow up with ha ha. I mark the start, I note the end. I pass around, but rarely bend. I'm a part of life like stars and rain. And when I'm gone, none can remain. I'm a part of life like stars and rays.

Is it like a letter in the word life? No, so like what? This is like a part of everyday life, like breathing, oxygen. Yeah, breath. Breath. You guys got it. Okay.

And so that's one, and then the other one is a little bit more like, I mark the start, I note the end, I pass around but rarely bend. I pass around but rarely bend. What's something that passes? Gas. Time. Adel and I just made eye contact.

Were you in there for 40 years as well? I just- I was trapped. Yeah, I'm back here and we're the same age. We aged in there. Yeah, it's time and breath. Time and breath. Do you remember the character from Inception? Does anyone remember the woman's name?

The, um, the top. Well, yes, Erin, the top. That's Inception, correct. Yes. Just like a woman to talk about the character's top. Her blouse, Erin, you mean her blouse? It's Marion Cotillard. Marion Cotillard.

Marion Cotillard. Oh. Her name is like, her name is like Maub or something. She's got some horrible name that's not a real name. Oh yeah, Maub. It's like Maub. Maub. Maub?

Maub. Maub. The character from Inception's name is Mar. Mar sounds right. I'm gonna look it up. Okay, we have to look it up because we need to know the character from Inception's name. Michael, I'm gonna do more of your riddles later. Maybe in the actual episode that's meant to destroy JBC.

Yeah. I do want to see a quick scene while Erin looks us up. She's going to be in the scene, so I don't know. It's not really... I can do both. It would be a while I look it up. You guys are in that thing where it's Erin and Adol. You got trapped in each other's eyes for that moment. That moment lasted 40 years, and you guys are like 38 years into the 40 year moment with no indication of when it will end.

I spy when my little eye... Me, it's probably me again. It's been me the last 1400 times. And a bottomless void. Yeah, I see it too. You see it too, I see it too. You see it too? I see it too. Would you rather...

The first one. Whatever the first one is. Cause you always say the first one and then it's always 30 weeks. And then you say the second one and I can't wait 30 weeks. I mean, I have to wait 30 weeks. I have to wait.

Why are you so upset? Did I forget your birthday again? Time is nothing. Birthdays are nothing. Can I tell you what kind of hurts my feelings? This is something new I haven't said yet. What? I've been in here 38 some odd years,

something like that. You haven't even fallen in love with me not even once. Like, how do you not? 38 years is so long. You have to be endeared to a person. You should at least be trauma bonded to me by now. You know what I mean? You didn't even fall in love not even once.

You're... Don't. Here's the thing. You're two more years with me in here. You're 5'11 and I can't date tall women. I'm 5'8. You're like 6'1. You give 5'11. You're like 6'8 just taller than me. You're famously taller than me. I can't date tall women. Listen, are you stunning? Yes. Are you everything I want in a partner? Yes. Are you matching me

wit for wit, tit for tat, thought for thought? Yes, you are the- I spy with my little eye, a liar. If you were just three inches shorter, we would be soul mates. Liar says what? What? I no fucking fuck you. Fucking hate you. I'm grateful you're not JPC,

and I think about that every day. I'm grateful you're not JPC. That's what sort of links me back to gratitude and reality. If I was here with JPC, I was here with JPC. I feel like I, I feel like his mind would have absorbed me. Right. 36 years. This would have turned into like a Mad Max situation. Somehow it would have turned into an FX is Legion.

Yes. It would have been an FX Legion situation. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, who is that? JPC is that JP? Wait, you guys can see me. Oh no. How long have you been here? Just got here. No, you have not been here the 38 years. Do you have cobwebs on, dude? Oh!

These? Yes, cobwebs from spiders. Don't get too close and don't smell. These are cobwebs from spiders. It's cum. Oh cum on my titties! You see. That's Nathan Lane. Cobwebs from spiders! Her name was Maul. Maul. Like shopping mall.

Well, here is a voicemail theme and then a voicemail. Hit it, Casey! Woo, that was fun. That was like city pop. That was amazing. I like that. Yeah. That one I think is from Davey Paul. And Davey says they're releasing an album, a future album this year.

So, you know, check out Davey wherever you might check. They didn't include where to check it out or what the album was called, but. I like that challenge. Good luck. I'll find you. Casey, we got a voicemail. Hi, Erin, Adel, and JPC.

My name is Taylor and I'm at a point, I'm in my mid-20s, where I'm working in school and just have a lot on my plate. And I love, love what I'm doing, but I'm just exhausted all of the time. I feel like as creatives, you can probably relate. So how do you keep at it instead of burning out? I love all the content that you guys make.

Bye. Taylor? Okay, first of all, feeling for you. Aw. Taylor, I wanna scoop you up. I wanna buy you some ice cream. Taylor, you're so sweet. I don't know if I have good advice. I'm burnt out all the time and I'm scared all the time.

Yeah, same. I think that's like it. I think doing it scared is a lot of it. Oh God, I love doing it scared. I think realizing everyone's going through something. Yeah. I think, well, I've said this before, but the mantra I do before I have to do anything creative

or like a podcast or improv show or anything like that is I just go, all I have to do is breathe and enjoy the people that I'm around. And that usually is enough to get me to at least go. Yeah. But yeah, I think also, yeah, knowing that it's part of it and folding it in is I think half the battle.

Absolutely. Something I've tried that works sometimes is like taking a break from stressing or from doing whatever is stressing me out and consuming something maybe I normally wouldn't consume? Hemlock. Hemlock. Meth.

Meth. Oh wait, you wouldn't normally consume. Black licorice, yeah. Just taking a break from the hectic everyday hustle and bustle of life, smoking meth. Try not. Who knows what you'll end up next. Yeah, I would say, I don't know if you said in the voicemail

if you do have a child, but I would say definitely have a child. Because then nothing's insurmountable. Everything is kind of like easy mode compared to that. You stop thinking about your problem. Exactly. You got a new problem. Yeah.

It's a constant riddle. You'll approach anything, things that you didn't like doing before, you'll approach it with a new Vim and Vicar being like, okay, let's do it. Also something I would do in my 20s that I think I regret doing now is I would like, but I would sort of like hover above rock bottom.

Like I would just be like, I would make like white knuckle keeping it together. You Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible. Laser. Right over the floor. And I wish I had just gotten like, when you get to that point where you're doing like 18 hour days and you're tired and you have a cold and you have homework and stuff like that,

maybe just like let yourself cry for an hour. Trip the laser. Yeah, just go, you know what? I'm at a rock bottom point because if you stay at like, you just need that kind of like release or like ask for help or whatever. Because I would just be like, no, I got this. If you need to throw up down my shirt.

Ask for help getting a release, definitely do it. You know what I'm saying? Because you can release yourself, but it's always a little better if you can get afraid to help you out. The circle jerk of life? Yep, there you go. Adil, anything you'd like to plug or promote or talk about?

Mostly the line coming next August, but also check out our tour going on this year. We're very excited. We're playing a lot of cities. You can go to heyriddleriddle.com slash tour? Yeah, it's us live. And I think, so coming up at the end of this month, we have Portland, which is almost sold out.

So if you, and it might be sold out by the time this comes out. So a jump on the Portland tickets. Seattle, which is also very close to selling out. But there's a possibility we got a second show in Seattle. We don't know, we don't know, we don't know. And this is Portland, Oregon. This is Portland, Oregon, yeah.

We go to Portland, Maine. I would love to go to Portland, Maine. And we fly our asses to Seattle for the next night. I've heard they're making moves. I'm so excited for the Portland and Seattle shows. I've never been to either place and I'm genuinely thrilled. And then LA on August 1st and the LA show is live stream. So I think we still have some tickets available

for in-person, but you can definitely, if you're anywhere else in the world, you can get live stream tickets to that show. And that's the only live stream one that we're doing this whole tour. And we should say for Portland and Seattle, we will have our fourth host, Gianna Varney.

And in LA, unfortunately, we don't know anyone. So it's gonna be where we're not gonna be able to get a guest because we just don't know who it is gonna be. And we'll have a guest. Zorp is gonna be at that Portland live show. I think that's gonna be his first ever live show. Zorp coming to LA? Yeah, Zorp lives in LA. Are they gonna go to the show?

I'm gonna say you don't have to do that because they will have just gone to the... You don't have to. Nobody has to. He will be... He's so nice and offers to go to everything, and I try to be like, you don't have to. If Zorp wants to have a fucking fun night of comedy, maybe Zorp goes to the show. Here's what I'll say. But I am taking up his next night going to Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm sort of making the whole weekend.

Hey, Zorp, I will not talk to you in Portland. If you want to talk to me, we can talk in LA after the show. It's so funny. This is me not trying to get... He wants to go so bad and he's getting roasted for this. LAUGHS Does Zorp improvise? Yes. Maybe we do a hero with him to end the show?

He... First of all, he got comedy trained in New York, so who knows how good of a... I'm odd. I'm sorry, I'm odd. Yeah, well... Um, he's very funny. Maybe he can So who knows how good of a Mod, I'm sorry. I'm odd He's he's very funny. Maybe you can sell riddles on a live show with us one day. He'd be very good at it Yeah, we'll see if he's good at it. Aaron anything to plug her for me. I Would say check out our patreon patreon.com

patreon.com Cuff hey riddle riddle. We have a lot of great fun improv stuff happening over there and I love it I love our Patreon episodes. JPC, anything, a review to read or something to plug? Hey, this is JPC cutting in from the future, which is actually my present, but the past for when you're hearing this. Future from when we recorded the episode that you heard. It doesn't matter. I have a tour update for everybody.

Our first three shows were awesome. We went to Chicago and the Twin Cities. Those shows, we did get audio recordings from them. But I know some people don't like live shows, so you don't have to worry. They're not going to be coming on the main feed. We will probably be putting them up on the Patreon later this year. Secondly, we sold out our Nashville show. So we have added a second show. It's just going to be a late night show that same night. So that's Tuesday, October 7th. That's going to be a 9pm show still at Third Coast Comedy. You can get tickets to that at heyriddleriddle.com slash live.

Also, we are doing tour limited time specific merch for every show that we do this tour. So if you want to get the tour merch for Chicago or the Twin City shows, these are well, they're inside jokes. You'll get them when the episodes come out or if you were actually there. So very limited use case for these. I don't know why I'm not selling you on the merch, but you can find them in our merch store, heyvertoverto.dashary.com, or by clicking the link in the episode description.

We also have our tour poster that we've been selling at live shows. We have turned that into a shirt. So it's like a tour style shirt. It's got the poster on the front and then all the cities that we're seeing on the backside. So it's like a tour-style shirt. It's got the poster on the front and then all the cities that we're seeing on the backside. So that's awesome. And that's out there now.

So I hope you pick that up. OK, back to you, JPZ and Adol and Erin from the past. JPZ, anything, a review to read or something to plug? No. OK. Jupiter. Bye, everybody. No! Okay. Jupiter! Bye everybody! Created by Adel Refai. Starring Aaron Cheath.

And John Patrick Collins. Casey Toney to the editing. And Marty Perrin to the music. Hey there bounce houses and hot dogs, if you liked that you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's improv from a block party. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad free episodes.

See you there.