Hey Riddle Riddle - #369: Star Wars (1979)

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

In today's episode we read riddles, try our best to answer them, and then do scenes inspired by those riddles. Nothing else happens! Also come see us on tour!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Aaron Addle, it is time for me to go back to my home. Thank you so much for teaching me what it is to be kind. Oh, don't go. Don't go. Stay psilocybin. Stay psilocybin. No, it's actually okay. I just live in Canada. I live at Schedule 35, which is a Canadian-based startup that ships across Canada and the U.S. An ambition is to educate and enrich lives with a deeper meaning and a better sense of self through microdosing psilocybin products.

I thought Schedule 35 was his home planet, Aaron. It sounded so cool. Well, you've really changed my life. Yeah, honestly, you guys weren't really listening to much that I was saying. I gave you some samples of me. Oh, no, I took them. An emerging movement around psilocybin is proven to help with mental health, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Studies have shown that psilocybin works by creating. new neural networks in the brain which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement, and help fight addiction. Yeah, I know that a lot of times if I have to get work done and I'm having, you know,

some sort of issue with focus or anxiety, I try Schedule 35's chocolates and they calm me down. They help me focus. Easy, breezy. I get stuff done. No longer am I fretting about what's going on in the world. I like to take one of their gummies before I clean and it's so nice. It makes it feel soothing and, like, easy to focus on each task. Yes, and all products come with guides that make microdosing easy to understand.

I just kind of thought that, you know, I'd give you someone maybe we would hang out. Now that we had to hang out, but I'm... Oh. I mean, you were riding in my bike basket. Yeah, where's your accent from? You told Canada. You told me to go to the store to get you snacks. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Our goal is to de-stigmatize and re-educate on the science and real-world benefits. of psilocybin as well as making it accessible for everyone. You're right, psilocybin. You silly psilocybin, get 50% off with code riddle at Schedule35.co. That's 15% off at Schedule35.com and use code riddle. Now, Aaron, let's go hang out without this freak. Bye.

No offense. No offense. None taken. I'm a freak, baby. mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of the network goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice and gray.

And the horse of being right. calling Hey Riddle Riddle. If you know your party's extension, please press the numbers for that extension now. If you'd like to talk to a live representative, please press zero. If you'd like to file a formal complaint, press three or hang up now. Three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three. You've pressed three to file a formal complaint. Please, at the sound of the beep, leave your formal complaint. Any complaints that aren't formal will not be accepted. Beep.

Two guys on the show sound the same. The girl's not funny. I don't like it when they're mean. I don't get any of the jokes. They don't get to the riddles fast enough. Your complaint won't be registered because it wasn't formal. If you'd

like to try again, please hang up and go through the process. I wonder what happens if I just stand on the line. I don't really want I go through the whole thing all over again. Is he gone? It looks like you stayed on the line. Okay.

If you'd like to file a formal complaint, press three now, but make sure it's formal. Three, three, three, three, three, three. You've pressed three to file a formal complaint. Please leave the complaint after the beep, but please note that it needs to be formal, or else it will be deleted. Yeah, got it. Beep. Here you, hear you.

Woman's not funny. Two guys sound the same. They're too mean. The riddles aren't very good. They get to them too late. I'm sorry. We're going to delete your complaint. Why?

Saying hear ye, hear ye doesn't make it formal. What? What do you mean? It doesn't make it. Thank you for calling, hey, riddle, riddle. If you'd like to leave a formal complaint. 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3. You've pressed 3, 3, 3, 3, 3.

What does that? What does that do? You've unlocked a secret episode. Yes. Are your pants off, big boy? Yeah. Beep. I don't know if, am I supposed to just start or what's the episode?

Just start. Just start. Okay, cool. If you think the guy sound the same, press two. If you think the woman's not funny, press three. If you think they're too mean to each other, press four. If you have any other complaint, hang up now. Two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Just going through the whole thing. Hey, welcome to Hey, Riddle, Riddle, the show where the guys sound the same. They're too mean to the woman. The woman's not funny. They don't do enough riddles. The riddles take too long to get to. They're not very good when they do do them. Some of them aren't riddles, and they talk about their personal lives too much.

Thanks, Adel. That was great. I'm JPC. I'm JPC. And I'd make a joke, but it wouldn't be funny. And, you know, this is, hey, riddle, riddle. Hey, guys, it's episode 3.69. Woo.

Nice. Oh, Aaron. like you weren't really into it. No, no, no, I got it. I can get enthusiastic. We've just hit a lot of these 69 milestones. It's hard to get excited. Woo.

Woo. Better? It's not like a computer shutting down. Whoa. I don't think you're getting as excited about putting someone else's genitals in your mouth as they put their genitals in your mouth as the rest of it. Is that what 69ing is? Oh, great.

Here comes HR. Hey, HR. Hey, bitch. Who's horny? Yeah, HR is a hamlet of riddle stands for a horny robot. Horny robot. Oh, I love HR. We have a horny robot that helps us with all of our complaints.

But we mostly do riddles and puzzles and lateral thinking problems, I guess. Yes, sometimes we get to those. Sometimes we do get to those. And sometimes, and some chances in this episode, we may in fact get to those. I don't know if we will. we could. You know, JPC, I'm ready to lock in right now. Maybe with the first riddle. I watched Terminator last night. And I knew it. And I knew it. Terminator, fantastic movie. I got to say. The 1984 Terminator, just a really great film. Yeah. I hadn't watched it in a long, long time.

Now, some of the computer graphics do look a little, I mean, obviously, like, dated. But there's, like, no dialogue in the first, like, 20 minutes of the film. And to me, that, kind of is the mark of a good movie. Like, I do like when a movie trusts you enough to, like, be like, hey, we're just going to say, like, seven things in the first 20 minutes and just kind of, like, let you get a sense for the world. I am curious how much of that was the script and how much of that was, like, day one of shooting. They're like, maybe we make Arnold.

The Strong Silent Time. Apparently, I also read that Arnold was originally what was applying for the role of Kyle Reese. like the hero of that movie but they Jim Cameron like sat with him and convinced him to take on the Terminator role instead and apparently it worked in Arnold was like

convinced by it but I don't know how hard it worked because T2 judgment day he was like yeah what if I'm the good guy and they're like yeah that's fine you did your time I just saw a thing that was James Cameron the script said I will be back and Cameron was like

Like, stop shortening it. It is, I will be back. That is what the script says. That is what you will say. And Arnold kept being like, it's so much easier. It flows better to say, I'll be back. And he's like, let's do one. So Arnold will shut up and then move on.

And then he saw it and he was like, shit. Yeah, it's better. He was right. That's better. I, yeah, I've been thinking about filmmaking recently and how fascinating it is to, like, what those different takes. Like, do one for you. And then, like, being like, wow, if I didn't say do one for you,

you, it would have completely changed the tone of this movie because... Yeah. But I think that's more like a... Shot Appetal's Terminator. A money decision, too. Right, Clint East, what is the one who always does one take?

He's like, yeah, one take, we got it. Maybe. Not him performing one take, but as a director. As a director, okay. Is that true? That's not enough takes. That's why I don't like his movies. You'd think, like, even just for, like,

camera angles and stuff, you'd want to do, you know, multiple takes. Mr. Issa, we got the boom mic and shot it's fine it's fine making a heart of it Aaron I think can we set goals for each other

sure I think I would really like to see you with Linda Hamilton arms now what does that mean she's got Linda he got a zip it Jojo see what song Linda Hamilton is oh super strong I see yeah

okay I'll do that yeah I feel like you already have like you're already like buff but I feel like Lyndon Hamilton is the pinnacle It's like the apex of arms I can do this It will just be a ton of work What about Sigourney Weaver and Alien

I feel like she's pretty buff in that, right? Yeah, that's fair It's just kind of that similar era of You know, the badass heroines of 80s action films I guess, wait, Alien was 70s? I think Alien was 80s Was 80s, okay, okay Was it?

I know aliens was 80s Yeah, it was 80s, right? I don't know. This is the part of being a cinephile that I am not capable of doing is knowing when movies came out. All right, when did 2001 a Space Odyssey come out?

This is such a trick question. Oh, fuck, it's got to be 2001. It's got to be 2001. Whoa, Alien 1979. I thought it was 79, yeah. Yeah, good tell. When did Inside Lewin Davis? You did come out.

Inside Lewin Davis came out in 20. 12. I don't know the answer to me. We don't know. Nobody knows. It actually can't. 2013. Wow.

Aaron for $1,000. What did you say? Do you have a sense memory of that? Because you hit 2013 pretty fast. I have IMDB. I can't use a Google, but I use IMDB. Aaron for $1,000. Sure.

What year did Iron Giant come out? 2002. I have to believe that's right. Yeah, we can't look it up. I have to believe that's right. Let me send the Venmo. You just lost a thousand bucks on that one. Thank you, I really needed this.

I'm having a lot of medical stuff. I really, you know what? I really needed a thousand bucks today. Thank you so much. This is like, I was having like a kind of a crappy morning, but like a thousand bucks truly makes me feel like a million bucks. Yeah, it turns everything around. Put a little pep in a step.

I can't imagine. Here are some riddles. I'm going to, let's do it. Wait. Wait, are you old man puzzles? Yep, yeah, I am. What is from 2002. Iron giant?

Yeah, you got it. Does he get his thousand bucks back? Oh, fuck. Yeah, he does. We actually have a lot of riddles to do on the show today. We have some, this is a riddle that was sent in all the way from Iceland. Yeah, and Iceland's the one that's green and Greenland's the one that's ice. So just so everyone's clear, this.

This is from a green place. Capital City, wreck your shit, Iceland. I think that's what it's called. I believe so. This is from Emile. Emil writes, you're standing in the Garden of Eden. Before you are 10 beautiful, naked, and nearly identical men

standing side by side in a line. Is it my birthday? No, I don't mean that. I'm tired. Great, here comes HR. Everybody would be cool. Sorry. What would this birthday?

baby, Eric. I don't know. Is the... I'm not all here. I'm not all here. And on the eighth day, God created thunder from down under? You want it?

I need it. No, Aaron, it's not your birthday, but that's a really good guess. They have no facial expressions. They're all facing you, and their poses are exactly the same. Although they look so like each other, you are able to spot in a second, which of them is the real Adam

without moving, communicating with them in any way, shape, or form, and only using your eyes, how do you spot the real Adam? Missing a rib. Kind of hold, he's got like a big scar holding aside. He's going, oh, oh. Well, you know, I think Adel of that is a great guess.

And is that, is that, that's in the Bible that God took the rib out of Adam to make Eve? Couldn't tell you. I think that's in the squeakle of the Bible. I didn't I I I I don't know if that's like in the Bible if that's like old folksy Bible wisdom that No he did he took he did he took the rib and then this doesn't sound like women but then Eve was the one who did the original sin she's the one who fucked up and I'm like okay I bet and can I tell you something those 10 men once once God took the rib out of that one

Adam the other nine guys stood around and were like oh you should flip it you should put more charcoal under the rib and he's like no I got it I'm gonna make a woman now you see nine people and one of them is sucking themselves off and you're like okay so I think we know who lost the rib kind of out of angle though right because if you don't take both out

also yeah famously women come from men and not the other way around I'm pissed I'm getting fired up what if come from men era that's my experience oh here comes HR lot oh god damn we had to fuck this robot four times

defense women come from men, Aaron. That's my experience. Aaron, Aaron, please, Aaron. Is it a mirror? Is it a statue? Is it chess? No. It's not a, it's not a rib. Rib is a good guess, but it's not rib. It's not, and again, you can't move, you can't communicate with them in any way. You're just using your eyes. What if I loved a book so much that I was like, everyone has to follow what this book says.

Like, what if I loved angels and demons so much that I just said, you know, But you do. But you do. That's what I've tried. And that's what you do do. I'm trying to ask you guys, can angels and demons be our religion, please? Oh, I guess that's already sort of religious. You picked a book that's like directly grips off the Bible.

You're like, could this book be? Tell me where in the Bible it mentions angels and demons. I think Dan Brown invented something. Yeah. He goes to a church in that book, but it doesn't say what kind. Can you give me a hint? Is it a belly button? Adel, it's a belly button.

The real Adam... I found a button and it's not from my shirt. I found a button and it's not from my skirt. I found a button. It's a part of me. It's a button in the middle of my tummy. It's my belly button. It's my favorite song.

God, I love Zoe Dish, Chanel. It is the real Adam would have no belly button. That's so weird. Because he was a C-section, right? Because he was a C-section, and famously, people with C-sections, who are born from C-sections, don't have belly button. What was the ABC family show where the guy didn't have a Bully Button? Kyle X-Y. Kyle X-Y.

Elf also works. How many seasons do you think Kyle X-Y got? In what year do you think it came up 2002? What the fuck is Kyle X-Y? Come on, Kyle X-Y. We've talked about the other show before. There's no way. Kyle X-Y?

Yeah, he's like an alien without a belly button. What is, this is a live action show? Yeah. There's no fucking live. A live action show. Modern family. It's a live action comedy. Well, Kyle X-Wye sounds like an animate.

It sounds like Ben 10 or something. So what, who was, who are the stars in this show? No one I remember. Kyle X-Wye was like a brooding alien and he didn't have a belly button. And that's all I really know about it. Yeah, he had dark hair. Does that do anything? 2002.

Does he never wear shirts on the show? I don't know if it was. A big part of the show that he didn't have a belly button? Or if that was just kind of like... A teenage boys found wandering naked and dazed in traffic. That sucks. He's a savant who's missing instinctive human behavior like joy, anger, and love. A perfect protagonist, someone who can't feel anything.

Yeah, a naked psychopath. Cool. It was in 2006. Okay. Four years after the Iron Giant. Yeah. We actually didn't look up when the Iron Giant was, guys. I know.

We can't. And we shout. And we won't. Okay. Oh, you know what? Actually, I do want to see a quick scene. Aaron and I will be in the scene. And we have just found Adel.

Adel, you are kind of Terminator-esque. A confused naked person with no belly button who we found kind of just wandering around outside. Excuse me, sir. Do you need help? Backflip, front door. Holy shit. Sorry? Comatose exaggeration

Butterfinger extradite Oh, sir, we think You've probably had a stroke Honey, is this one of your friends? Honey No, it's not one of my friends I don't know this man Is this one of your friends from the bowling league?

Bowling League, honey, bowling league, friend. He's a confused man And I'm just, he's wandering naked around outside Sorry, just seems a lot like one of your friends from your bowling league. Sorry, about him. makes it look like one of my bowling buddies. He's naked and he's confused.

Yeah, I mean, that's like sort of the vibe of your bowling. I know. I know you're trying to get out there and make new friends. We move to a different town. New friend. I'm just trying to be interested in your interest. First of all, I didn't know it was nude bowling. I'm trying to make new friends.

Okay. Who are you trying to convince? It's okay. I didn't know. It made me super uncomfortable the first time I bowled. Have I gotten used to naked bowling? Yeah, I have. but only because I'm kind of putting myself out there,

which, by the way, you still are not doing. I mean, how many friends have you made in this town? Hey, that's a little below the... Sorry, your friend is sort of wandering into the street. Do you want to grab them? He's not my friend, but guess what, Meredith, he could be. Excuse me, sir, do you want to be... Would you, like, do you bowl?

Naked bowling. Okay, so maybe, what's your name? Sorry. So, Sari and I are going to actually go to naked bowling right now. Hmm. I know we were going out to breakfast, but I think I'm going to do some naked bowling with Sari because the guys are pretty much always down to naked bowl.

Breakfast bowling, harvest organs. Ha, ha, harvest organs. You're just going to prove to me that's easy for you to make friends. Well, I'll make friends with this. Excuse me, miss. Are you busy? No, sorry. Yes, I'm very busy.

I'm taking my child to the hospital. Well, I'll go with you because we're new good friends. Get the fuck away from me. It's people like you that poisoned my husband. child. Mommy, I'm scared. All right. Heard and understood.

I will find a different friend. Okay, good luck, Meredith. Sorry, are you ready to naked bowl? Sorry, naked bowling. It's good that I met this man who's not having a medical problem. And I'm going to take to a naked bowling out. Clean bill of health. Puppy chow.

If he's so normal, where is his belly button? Oh, my God. How dare you look down there? Harvest organs Harvest organs You've offended him Sorry, I apologize Sorry, I apologize

Sorry No, you don't have to apologize You have nothing to apologize For my wife Is, I hate to say it maybe But you're a bigot What? No I'm not

Show brain of this one Show this one's brain Show him your brain Meredith Whatever that means Two plus five is seven knowledge not brain brain

brain please show brain that's really kind of you sorry that's really kind of you to say to her I'm gonna get on the train and get out of the scene and you go

and you go bowl and have the best time okay all right naked bowling who wants to finger me sorry scene

sorry does okay well seen guys can we do that scene over I realized I was just playing Nell the whole time.

All right, we can do it over. I have to say, I think that if I was going to do any, hmm, yeah, because bowling's not really a contact sport. I think I could bowl naked. All right, let's actually think about this. If we're going to think about this, we're going to think about this. I mean, you don't want to get your, you don't want to get anything caught in any sort of machine or pinched or anything.

That's one risk, but I think I could be pretty careful about that. But it would be nice to have that little, the little air blower thing. It would be nice to kind of. Yeah, for sure. Anywhere on you. Aaron, you know. I do know. But what I'm thinking is that, you know, that moment when you bowl and then you turn around and it's so vulnerable, like when you look back at the group?

Imagine doing that and then also you're naked. If you, if I turn around after I get a strike and I'm naked, I will feel invincible. If I turn around and I get like a gutter ball or one pin naked. Yeah, this is what I'm saying, though. I feel like it's going to feel like maybe the worst feeling in the world. Yeah. Yeah, so, but naked golf, I feel like is good. Naked mini golf easy.

Naked mini golf, yeah, naked minigolf would be easy. But see, bowling's indoors, if I'm completely naked outside, there are parts of me that never really see the sun. I feel like I'm going to get concerned with how burned. I'm going to get on, like, places where I don't want to be burned. And I'm talking about my dick and balls an ass. Yeah, Aaron, I got to say, I think with bowling, it's a 50-50 chance when you go to any bowling alley that it's going to be cosmic bowling, which is like black light. And being naked on a black light.

What are you fucking covered and come? What do you mean? Why are you concerned? Casey clip that. Casey, do not clip that. That would be cool. That would be fun. is what I'm saying.

I remember, I went to the Rainforest Cafe on like, I think it was like a seventh or eighth grade trip. And they had like a blacklight poster corner in the Rainforest Cafe. And it was like you could test it with a black light and see the poster. And there was a kid in my class? No, I won't name because there's no reason to. And when they turned the black light on his pants. No, no. DVD, no, don't.

The size of the worst news. The size of the state of the skids pants. And it was so egregious that no one even would like say anything. No one even made fun of him for it. That is so much worse. When you're at that precipice when you've been humiliated, the only thing you hope for is that it's not so bad that people start making fun of you. Because it was either, because it was a, it was a point where we're like, what do we make fun of him for? Do we make fun of him for?

Copious amounts of. Copious amounts. is it is that is it a not washing the pen what what where's the angle on this and i think everyone just decided like let's all just shake hands a degree that we don't need you i would if i were him i'd be begging you to make fun of me please kill me kill me kill me uh all right here we go here's some riddles uh this is uh some riddles from jamie newton um was i able to see jamie's name doesn't matter already did jamie newton from toronto i probably wouldn't have written down the last name in my document if i wasn't able to say it

But thank you, Jamie, for sending this in probably seven years ago. These are sandbox-style puzzles where each answer is a planet from Star Wars. Doing a quick check-in. How confident do you guys feel in guessing riddle answers that are planets from Star Wars? I know one planet from Star Wars. I know one planet from Star Wars. I can't wait because there's more than one of these riddles, I believe. There are six.

All right, Star Wars. What year? Which one? Star Wars, the original Star Wars. Every three years? It was 74. 72. 74. Here's what I'll say.

It was either 78 or 79, and I know that for a fact. I just don't know which what it was. Because I remember the first Star Wars came out in the 70s and the second one came out in the 80s. Can you imagine if Alien and Star Wars came out the same year? Fucking space. What a space year. I do think that movies used to be better. Yeah.

I think there were maybe like less movies or something. back then, but it seems like if you look at like the best movies of like 1979, you'll be like, oh fuck, like... Yeah. What a fucking year for movies? 77 was Star Wars.

It was 77, so I was wrong. All right, here we go. You said you were 100% sure. Can we actually... Casey, can you clip how confident JBC was a second ago? It was either 78 or 79, and I know that for a fact.

And we're back. Thank you so much. Yeah. Here we go. Buzz. Casey, 10,000% 10,000% on the come one, too, though, Aaron. Ew. Yeah, well, we'll have to wait until the end of the year to see who was right. He's probably going to clip that ooh, too, because that's a very good ooh.

Okay. The latest blockbuster left itself open for a sequel when the final credits said, the blank is it. Endor. Yes. Well, we both burned our one. I actually think I have one more I do have one more

We have the same one more I bet you a bit julie tattooing Wait where do the little Ewox live Don't burn him yet We have to get to the Let me at least read the prompt Oh JPC is the death star

A planet A size of a star Size of a star If you try to pick up girls At podcast festivals You're looking for love In blank places Alderon

Alderon Okay, you guys know more than you thought Looking for love in all the wrong places Okay, I want to see the scene Aaron, you're going to be trying to pick You're going to try picking someone up at a podcast festival And this is a podcast festival, a hypothetical one But you are there with Hey Riddle Riddle

And you're kind of like name-dropping Great Do you want uppies? One, two, three Oh no, no, sorry I didn't know you're talking to me No, I don't want upies Sorry, I get nervous

Meeting new people How do you do? My name's Aaron Keefe I have been on podcast Before I'm trying to think Hello from the Magic Tavern And then Hey Riddle Riddle

I don't really I don't really know a ton of podcasts I'm here with my friend Your friend likes podcast Yes my friend's a huge Yeah they'll I mean comedy podcast They like they love him all

Are we talking comedy podcast Hey brother Are we talking comedy podcast? Now who's this? I don't know. This is a beer line. I'm not sure who any of these people are. Yeah, yeah, this is a comedy podcast festival.

I'll be the judge of that. Yeah, she's on comedy podcasts. What? Yeah, I've been on Comedy Bang Bang like a couple times. She's never done a great job. Jess McKenna? Were you Jess McKenna? No, no, I'm not just McKenna.

Guess McKenna is not like a character. I think she's a character. Yeah, she's a character. She's a cut up. Her and Zach Reno are cutups. Yeah, they're funny, but she's not, she's a real person. Nobody on there is a real person Yeah, that's kind of the format of the show

I don't even listen to a podcast that I know that You know what, I can't judge you because I came over here And tried to pick you up, you know Well, nobody can judge me except for God and John Hodgman Oh, I've met him once, he's nice No Okay He's a character

Um Hey guys, say we get out of here And we go What the fuck? Yeah, we go upstairs, No, I'm asking you, have you been on WTF? Oh, no, and that ended, so. Or is ending?

Does anyone know? You know what? Beers on me, fellas. Is that the name of your podcast? No, but that is a good thing. Oh, I love the Beers on Me fellas. Oh, my God, they're so funny. I've never even heard of that.

They're funny. Funnyer than me? The theme song is like, Beers on me. And then do they go, Beers on me? They do. You've listened. No, I wish I had.

That sounds awesome. God, this is actually the most successful social interaction I've had today. Oh, that's why you look so sad. Yeah, I'm really flailing here. Oh, my God, oh, my God. Look, Nick Wigers walking by. Oh, my God. He's nice, too.

I've met him, too. He's nice. No. Okay. You know what? I'm going to get drunk. And I'll see you guys. as later.

This is the beer line. That's what we're all doing here. I'll see. I'll see. The psychotic killbill fan spent weeks watching the actress come and go, figuring out how to blank ma.

Umma Thurminna. Is that a name from a Star Wars planet? Well, you were right with Uma. It is Uma. How to blank Uma. Hmm?

cat uh something uma tattooing watching someone come and go figuring out how to blank uma catch uma it's not catch what's another oh 310 to you

no a synonym for catch at all I did like that a lot trap thank you trap trap cat catch this is more like slang cot uh let's see

it's a three letter word what's that nab Nabuma What's the planet? Tattoine Tattoine Nabababula

Nab Nabuma This is Natalie Portman's characters from here Oh Heaven Are you an angel

Jar Jar Jarbanks Was born here The birthplace of Jar Jar Jar Binks That guy Who's the guy's Nab Gungaddin

Gunggagin's Nab Nab Nabuma Nabuma Nabuma But ma was part of it So you got to take the butt off.

Nabumafoo. Naboo. Naboo. It's Naboo. Naboo mafu. Naboo mafu. It's Nabu. I will say, the prequels were not well-received Star Wars movies, but Nabu was a pretty big fixture of those first.

I'm not a Star Wars gal. I like Andor and that's the kind of in Rogue One and that's kind of the end of my list. You know that, Aaron, that's a pretty good list. Honestly, all things considered. The thing about Star Wars is the first three are good, the prequels are all bad, and the last three, if taken an aggregate, are bad. So you're not missing much. I completely agree.

What about Solo? Dude, Solo is another one, like episode 7, 8, and 9 that I have seen one time and we'll probably never watch again. Yeah, I never saw that. The only thing that I can tell you about Solo is that there is. a scene where they're like, what's your name? And he's like, Han. They're like, and you're all alone, we'll call you Han Solo.

That's in that movie. I do remember that. And I was like, I hope they do that with every single other character. That's brutal. What's your name? Darth? Well, you look a little sick. Maybe we'll call you Plagueus.

Darth Plagis. Okay, you won't know this one and you maybe we'll know. Okay, you won't know this one, but I'll do it. I fucking love bludgeoning papermiche animals until candy falls out. So I always spring for the blank yattas. Pin. Pin is part of it, but it's like the highest quality. Top pin, not top.

What's another way to say highest quality? Best pin. Best pin. Best pin. Like the little bikes that Matthew Broderick rides around on? What planet is that, though? Well, it's the planet Bespite, Aaron. Yeah, but what, like, context-wise, who's from there?

What's the deal with it? Let's see. I haven't seen, which one is Bespin? Bespin, I think that that is a 7-8-9-1. Am I wrong? Is it the casino planet? Is Bespin the casino planet? It feels like it's the casino planet.

Can you imagine a casino planet? Well, that's the thing with Star Wars. Because you have to sort of imagine. Yeah, well, not just have a casino. No. Doesn't have to be a whole planet. I mean, but if you got a bunch of extra planets lying around. Yeah, I guess so. Sort of like a Scientology situation.

Oh, oh, I'm confused. Bespin is the one where Cloud City is. Cloud City is on Bespin. Which is where Lando Calarician's from. The thing that Star Wars does is instead of doing things like Earth, which has a ton of different biomes, every Star Wars planet is just one biome. So they're like, tattooing, desert, you know. Bespin, clouds. Camino.

well water it's just like all water yeah so is there a Mando and Alando there's a Mando and Alando and I think that that would be honestly a knockout Disney Plus series Mando Lando Mando Mando and Alando

Is it a sitcom? Yeah it's a sitcom it's a multi-camp Mando and they're just kind of fun of roommates He's like Mando you left your Vescar armor all over the place

Oh yeah where it's in space. Yeah, man, I just blows his brains out. Where's the, what's the band? The, where's that at? Is that, that's on Tatooine, right? Moss S-Boh. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. You know, okay, here's one that I think that you probably will have heard of. I think if I give this one to you, you'll have heard of this. The doctor said, if it doesn't feel better by two's blank, to the pharmacy for more painkedegobah Daegobah Daegobah

Me say Daegobah It is Daegobah Which is the Can anyone tell me What the biome on Daegobah is? That's swamp land That's where Yoda's a little swamp frog Yeah, Yoda's a little swamp frog

I knew that one, it's easy I do want to see a scene Is he from there? I think he just like hid there, right? I think he lives in the swamp I think he's embarrassed And he's like, just visiting I am. Yeah, not my home, this is.

Clearing mugs. Yon, I just saw a pillow and it. No, see nothing you did? No throw pillows here. Brought these postcards on fridge from home, I did. Do this while traveling. Yudai just saw frog and lingerie hop away. No, no laundry and frog.

I do want to see a scene. Yes. Um, uh, Aaron, you are a, what is Yoda? Whatever that is. They've never said. A lot of Star Wars aliens have names, but like Yoda is just a Yoda type alien, basically. Yeah, Aaron, you're a, you're a Yoda type. Um, and, um, you're, you're on Dago Ba and, um, JPC is just sort of a random traveler whose shit broke down and you're, you're going to interact with him.

Great. I don't think there's anything on this star system, and I just can't fix the ship myself. Oh, hello, excuse me? Adel, you can't be laughing at how bad I am at this. Hello, did someone say something? Excuse me? My ship broke down. I'm trying to get back to space, which is where I live. With that attitude, it might be hard for you to get back up in the air. Oh, oh, hi. My name is, let's see Star Wars name,

Georg Babadu, and I'm trying to get back to space. Do you have anything that could help me fix my ship, or are you from here? I'm sorry, I don't want to say. George, I make you nervous, I do. You nervous talking. You never seen a yoga with an open road before. A yoga with an open...

Yoda with an open road before. Yeah, I was... I would say it's... My rope is open. I'm Yota. It's very open. But no, that's fine. I mean, you know, I'm used to all different life forms and all kinds of genitalia, so it's not...

That's not a problem. Yeah, I'm just trying to... Hey, actually, can you not... Can you not eat those? Those are my Twix. I was saving those for sustenance. You don't eat what he needs to get energy to fix ship. Oh, so you can fix my ship.

You know how to fix starships? There is no can. There is only twicks. Well, there actually is a can. It's the Dr. Pepper that you're drinking, and you got that out of my cockpit. I actually, yeah, I was going to, I was going to drink. You go ahead.

You're salivating a lot into it. You go ahead and finish that. So what is your deal? Oh, I'm married. Yeah, I'm super, I'm super married. I'm not hitting on, you. Got it broke your form out there. Kind of made me getting flustered.

I'm sorry, yeah. Hey, listen, man, I have to be honest with you. You landed and I started talking and I panicked. And I picked a voice that was not sustainable. I never, obviously I know it's the same actor, but I never noticed how thin a membrane there is between Yoda and Miss Piggy. Truly the thinness of membrane. I love when Yoda fights with his lightsaber.

It's so funny. He's, like, leaping so high. Yeah, doing 20 flips. Yeah, they really ruined Yoda as a character in those prequel movies. Okay, let's do one more, and then we'll take a break. Well, late for a break, but we'll still take one. Oh, wait. What are the things that go, ooh, teeny?

Jawa. Jawa. Those are the best things. Yeah, okay. Just had to say that. Javas are great. I like the stressed out animals from the new ones that are like, oh, oh, the porks?

I love the porgs. Which isn't, I think I heard from a guy who works at ILM is that they shot somewhere and there's like puffins everywhere and they're like we can't like eliminate the puffins so we just

have to like animate on top of them or something? Yeah. That's awesome. That's how they bore the porgs. Yeah, I think what Star Wars where it really shines is making a little weirdo creature things. But they should be puppets. They should be practical effects. Yeah.

Okay, here we go. Here's the last one. I think you're going to get this one. Brian, the famous music producer, couldn't remember the name of Russia's greatest pop duo until someone said, Blank, oh. Tattoine.

Tattoine. All the things you said, all the things you said. Running through my head, running through my head, running through my head. And why don't you run some ads through your head? Right? That's something. Hey, Adel, Aaron.

Did you know that a lot of people aren't aware of how much they spend each month? Do you, let me ask you a question. Do you guys know how much subscriptions you pay for? What about how much you spend on takeout or delivery? It's probably more than you think. I'd rather not look. Well, you don't have to look. Well, I guess you do have to look.

You just don't have to look in your mind. You have to look at an app. there's an app designed to help you manage your money better, and that app is Rocket Money. Yes, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwonted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. I just found out that I've been paying one of the Backstreet Boys $100 a week.

Oh, me too. That's so crazy. Which one? On three. On three, you say the Backstreet Boy, you've been paying a million or $100 a week. One, two, three. Tall one. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

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Howie, how we going to stop paying for all these subscriptions? Is that one of the backstreet plays? Howie could have been from Insink. Lachay away. oh my back is hurting so much bad oh jpc did you lift with your legs always or never it's one of them jpc are you carrying the podcast on your back or something like that okay um i feel seen uh this is so nice for someone else to bring it up uh oh my god i was trying to roast him and now what do i do you know the thing is do you guys ever feel like managing your business finances is a full-time job on top of your actual full-time job. Now, imagine in this instance, we have an actual full-time job. Let's see. Maybe I splaced this copy-up. Do you ever feel like managing your business finances a full-time job on top of recording a podcast every a couple hours once a

week? Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, but that is why I started using Found, JVC. Oh, yeah. Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare your taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different virtual cards. One found user said, found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income profits, taxes, in all caps, invoices even. And Found has 30,000 five-star reviews just like this. Oh, and by the way, other small businesses are loving found too. It's not just us. It's not just us. It's other small businesses like hello for the

Magic Tavern. Yes, yes, yes. Bill Buds? Gub shoes and dragons. Gooshes and dragons. And these are just ones that I know off the top of my head. Hey, Riddle Riddell. Just Peanut Crittle.

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streamlined their finances with Found. JPC, do you need help carrying that podcast? Do you need a little help? It's actually not heavy at all. Ah. Ah. G. P.C. What happened? I just, I cut myself again on some of my closet staples. Oh, JPC. Yeah. I got to. I've got to. I've got to. I've got to. A closet full of staples because I've heard that it's good to like... You stapled all your clothes you're going to need, oh boy. I think that you're thinking of closet staples, like clothes that you can wear a lot that look good with other things. I get mine from Quince.

Have you heard of Quince? They have closet staples you want to reach for over and over carefully, like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters from just $50, breathable flow knit polos and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners. some right now. Wee. Oh, okay. I think I have, you guys, I think this is another one of my classic mix-em-ups where I've fundamentally misunderstood the assignment. A hundred percent. And guess what? With Quince, everything is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. My sheets are from Quince. That's why I look so well rested. That's why you're always wearing sheets? These are real clothes. Those are real clothes. Okay.

Oh, my God. Okay, great. Nope. And I'm getting it. I actually know Quince and I love Quince because I have a lightweight hoodie from Quince that I wore to our Portland show, our Seattle show, and here in L.A. It is wonderful. It's my favorite item of clothing that I own. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices in premium fabrics and finishes. So you don't even have to feel bad when you're wearing your hoodie.

So stop covering your wet naked body with staples from the staple store. What the hat? Use a towel. Yeah, maybe somebody else did the call-to-action. Mine's all messed up. Keep it classic and cool with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle to get free shipping and 365-day returns,

quince.com slash riddle. And let me grab that stapler from you. No, no, no. I need this for my clothes. Nope. Quince, it's quite comfortable. Hell yeah. Yes, Adel.

Yeah. Hey, Hey, Bubble Freak! Babo Freak here? Hey, riddle, new host, Babu freak. He panicked and chose that voice. Do you think Babu Freak is ever going to get his own spin-off?

I hope so. I love me some Babu Freak Con. He was the best part of that whole. Yeah, easily the best part of a bad series of movies. It's hard because I think that, I think that I liked eight and there are parts of seven that I think are good

but nine was such a disaster that I kind of like take that whole trilogy and throw out of the garbage you know it's like who's handling the next one I don't think is there going to be next ones

I thought that they were done with them I thought they're done with Star Wars can you hear yourself? But they keep there was a while where they would keep announcing movies

and then shelving them and then like announcing movies and then shelving them so I don't know can I say Wes Anderson I would love Andorson

That's fun Give Wes Anderson The reins to a new Star Wars I'd fuck with that Yeah I think what you should do Is give someone some actual reins Because I do think that

A lot of times you see these like Disney properties Or Marvel properties or whatever Big Studio properties And they are just like fucking Demolished with There's no atoors anymore It's all like studio heads That are like dropping their little

You know feedback inside of them And then Too many cooks Yeah, it's like an amalgamation of like, yeah, it's nothing. I'd like to see a scene, actually. JPC, you're like a really great artist who grew up loving Star Wars, and you've been tasked with directing the new one, and me and Adel are going to be studio execs giving terrible opinions.

So I think the biggest, you know, problem with 7, 8, and 9 is that I think people really wanted for Ray to not really have any connection to the other people. Stop you right there. Data shows that we should make a tank made out of lightsabers. That shoots lightsabers. Does that make sense? That shoots lightsabers. Yeah, no, that's super doable, especially because that's kind of like ancillary to the story that I'm telling.

So, like, we're definitely at battles, star battles. Ancillary. I'll write that, Deborah, write that down as a name. Ancillary. Ancelary. He's like a mechanic, and he's on the planet. And his hands are covered in sand. Ladies love it when a man.

has hands covered in sand. Yeah, it is legs or lightsabers? Sure. No, maybe it's like a... Yeah, we can work a lot of like background characters into this because I think that flushing out the world with interesting aliens is also like kind of part of what I love about the world. Fleshing out aliens.

They should be eating the other aliens. Yes. Ladies love cannibals. Yeah, I think we're going to do like a cantina scene, I think. Maybe like a walking sarlac pit. interesting a walking sarlac pit yeah yes maybe a margarita can you guys

I feel like I can go for a margarita right now sure yeah is that the word is for the rumor is that something you want to see at Star Wars debor write this down as a name margotorita margot margot roby plays a robot BB8 has a love interest in her name is

margot Robbie I think casting decisions are like something that I definitely want like as much input as possible in because I think that's really important to like kind of see as many people as possible. Yeah, we'll tell you who we cast. Yeah, we'll tell you who we cast. And even if you cast, I mean, Jeff Goldblum's been at the top of our list for a while. Just keep in mind that whoever you cast, even if it's someone as charismatic as Jeff Goldblum,

we do need them to be as stoic as possible. Great, yeah. I wasn't actually even intending on putting Ray in this movie. I thought maybe we could kind of start fresh. Goldblum, yeah, I loved him in some of the Thor movies. I think that there's definitely some, you know, the kind of appeal of Jeff Goldblum could work in a variety of different roles. Could I just kind of give you my, like, overarching pitch for what I think these three movies should be about?

Maybe we could, like, start there. Well, that will stop you right there. These are going to be TikToks. Okay. TikToks as a format, and those are going to be. kind of shorter... The Jedi Dog. Jedi Dog!

We got it. His bone's a lightsaber. And that's lunch, everybody. Can I... Go fetch, they say, go force. Yeah? I'm still getting, I'm still getting $30 million, right? No, you're getting $45 million.

Everything you've said is in. It's in and it's all the movie is. Seed. And points. There's nothing that I love so much that I wouldn't ruin for everyone else for $45 million. dollars. Maybe something. What could it be?

No like intellectual property that I care about. I would make the worst, the goddamn worst, like, Transformers movie on the planet for You guys, you guys, I have a new internet video that made me cry laughing. It is so hard to cry laughing when you're alone. It's so rare. There is a video. I'm fucking, my face hurts just thinking about it. There's a video.

Wait, there's so many layers do it. Adela, I think, did I send you this? I meant to. It is a... Dog pukes bees on roller coasters. So you've seen it. Oh, I love it. I love the internet.

I can't stop watching it. Dog pukes on roller coaster. You guys, no. There is, it is a birth announcement. And it is a woman, I think, telling her friend or her sister that she's pregnant. But she decides to tell her at Universal Studios while they're meeting a transformer. Is this one of the Transformer? who is able to like improvise and like say sassy things it can like move and they're like posing

and she goes i'm pregnant and the her sister whips her head around or whatever and the transformer whips his head down and it looks like he's scared that it's his and i oh you guys i just like tears are streaming down my face i watch it like 40 times please i'm erred okay peripheral in those costume so maybe the first thought would be like oh shit is it mine who is this person um i almost sent you a tic-tok last night aaron which is because i was very high and i was like i think erin would like this it's like a college production of beauty and the beast and someone is in a full loomere costume and they eat shit like they fall eat shit and they're obviously hurt but they try and continue to dance so it's them on their back with their legs moving to the dance routine and then like

Like several state hands come out to try and pick them up, but they can't quite pick them up. No, no, no, no. It's incredible. You got to send it to me. You got to not, you got to not, there's no show must go on after something like that. Like, if you can't get yourself up, don't, don't try to dance on the floor. That's so sad. Yeah, I think I just played, I feel like I would just act dead to be like, the only way to get through this is to be like, this is incredibly severe.

yeah versus like I'm hurt but I'll be fine all of those shows have a main curtain that can be pulled I think if that happens to me I just turn my head of the side of the yell pull the curtain pull the curtain pull the curtain pull the curtain and I don't stop yelling that until the curtain has been pulled because for me now the show is over yeah I'm trying to find the original the original might have gotten taken down so I have to search for it but oh man that we're still It violated the TikTok policy of surprising a transformer. So it got taken down very immediately. All the best videos have been taken down because it's all surprising transformers.

Here's a riddle from Molly. Okay, Molly writes, Susie receives an expensive, thoughtful gift bought by her husband for Valentine's Day. After opening it, she immediately files for divorce. Why? Susie receives an incredibly thoughtful and expensive gift? It's expensive and thoughtful, yeah. It's a necklace that's engraved with another woman's name. Oh.

Aaron, you have basically landed on the answer, except I will say that's not correct, but it's in the right spirit. The card is... But there's nothing with anyone else's name on it. So I can't give it to you because I feel like name is the operative part of that guess, but it's like you're you're in the right ballpark it's a locket it's a diamond locket with somebody else's picture in it yeah uh no there's no there's no image and there's no name associated with it uh or anything like that another woman's finger there's none of those things

okay it's a trip it's a trip okay i like this like we're going with this it's not correct but let's let him cook a little bit no just saying like it's like whoa what a trip It's like the size of something that is sized for a different person. Aaron, that's correct. You have landed on it correctly. You have a cheater's instinct. Oh, thank you. Compliment.

Wait, what? Upon opening the gift, Susie found a tailored lingerie set in sizes significantly different than herself. The gift was intended for the mistress of the husband. Her husband had mistakenly given her the wrong gift. Wow. Classic. Yeah, I know. What a fucking asshole.

I do want to see a scene. Yes. JPC, you've gotten Aaron a gift, and upon opening it, she realizes that you're cheating on her. Okay. Yeah, I know that you're not like a big birthday person. I'm so excited. I'm going to tear this open. This is beautiful wrapping paper, too.

Amazing. Oh, my God. I can't take credit for that. They gift drafted at the store. I have all thumbs when it comes to wrapping presents. um sorry this is a this is a flannel shirt yes this is sort of the type of thing that adle would love oh you know at all

yeah we co-host a podcast together oh you're actually on that too this the three of us oh my god i forgot hey well you know what no worries no need to go through like the pocket on the flannel shirt or anything like that I will take that back because, obviously, the guy at the store, don't go through the pocket. Don't go through the pocket. I'm going through the pockets. Okay. Wow. Joints, cat treats.

Is they? Full ice cream cones. Wow. And there's a thin mint in there? Yeah, there's a thin mint with foie gras on it. Okay. Yeah, something I famously love. The guy at the store was eating a thin mint with foie gras on it when I bought this, which is not the thing that I even bought.

Um, so I'm going to go fucking beat the shit out of that guy, obviously. Oh, yeah? You're going to commit so hard to that he made a mistake that you're going to beat the shit out of him.

Go ahead, I'll watch. I'm coming with you. He was huge. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Excuse me! Yes, can I help you? JPC's about to beat the shit out of you.

Hold on. I think there was actually a smaller guy working here. I was here earlier. Was there a smaller guy? please. I'm 6-11. There is little Tony who's 6-10.

Yes. 6-10, 425? No, you're fine. It was you. It was this guy. You gave me the wrong gift what I was here earlier. And so now, because you've made my friend so mad by having the wrong gift on her birthday, but she doesn't really care about, right?

I do now. She does now. Good, cool. So I'm going to have to beat your ass Stop talking about it, just do it Well, we can't do it in here, obviously, because this is your work So we'll have to take this outside No, it says fighting aloud, the sign says fighting aloud

Okay, picks up guy by the back of his shirt, Fult him in half, like Reacher puts him in trunk Oh, he just did that to a guy Who had nothing to do with this? What's he going to do to me? Actually, you know what? I'm going to call the authorities maybe get you arrested for that murder,

then maybe this whole thing kind of resolves. DPC, just admit it. You were thinking about Adel the whole time you were buying me a birthday gift. Aaron? Call him. I'm so offended by the accusation, okay?

I nearly forgot which one of you was which. Is that a crime? That's so much worse. Both of the guys on the podcast sound the same to me. you're one of the guys though now who's being the one

who is in trouble yeah well sorry Aaron I got you the wrong fucking gift what are you going to do about it I don't mean it was in a scene so I can't be too mad yeah you don't care about birthdays

I'm gonna start getting mad at you guys for stuff that you do in scenes in the same way that people get mad at their significant other when they do bad things and dreams God, that's the best I'm gonna be like I'm really pissed at all

He threw me into the sky the other day Based on that Are we now going to say that If you die in a scene You die in real life Okay I hope so Freddy Cougar rules

Steaks just got a little higher boys This is okay This is your last riddle of the day This is a row from Simon Simon says Oh Hey Do it do it

I didn't well I didn't say Simon says You did say Simon says But I did I saw some kids in the park playing Simon says the other day and it looked like a real hoot. They were having a fucking blast doing it. Oh, can I also say, look, it's summertime in Chicago. I generally don't spend a lot of time like midday in the park

or I have it as an adult. But now that I have a kid and we go to the park all the time, I'm spending more time in the park in midday, it is inexcusable for all of these old men to be walking around in the park so close to children without their shirts on. I think that a lot more men need to be, like, be ashamed to put their fucking shirts on. Men have no shame, though. I know.

It's such a gross double standard because it's like, oh, it's hot outside. It's like everyone outside is hot, you know? You got to put a, if the rules have to be the same for everyone or no one. You can't be like women have to wear shirts at all times, but men, they can just do whatever they fuck they want. Yeah, it's the equivalent of standing up on an airplane right when you land. And people are like, oh, no, it's just that my legs hurt. And I'm like, everyone's legs hurt. I feel weird, like, being in the middle of a summer camp full of kids, because that's like, there's always summer camps going on in the park.

And I have a kid who's there, like, interacting with the playground. But just to be, like, some old weirdo who's, like, not wearing any clothes. And it's just, like, walking so close to these kids. I'm like, hey, man, get the fuck out of here. TPC, have you ever looked up and it's you from the future? Can I tell you about my favorite guy that's at the park? There's a guy. I see him all the time.

He wears a big, and this is in Chicago, but he wears a big Make America Great Again hat, and he wears a T-shirt. It's always the same t-shirt. It is a T-shirt of Biden smiling wearing a hat that says Trump. So he's wearing a Make America Great Hat, and he has a T-shirt of Biden wearing a hat that says Trump. It's literally a hat on a hat. And he's an old guy.

walks around an old dog and I've only ever walked past him but I've he it seems like he is engaging or like trying to talk to people in the park and I walked by him the other day and it was right after like all of Trump was getting so much heat from the Jeffrey Epstein stuff about like being like are we still talking about Jeffrey Epstein the pedophile that I know where and I was walking past this guy he was talking to two other old people and he's like yeah right now I really think he's just focused on getting the ship right it he's really trying to write the ship and I just Pass him, I was like, you, sir, are living in La La Land. Oh, man.

Must be peaceful in there, though. That kind of one track, man. I don't know, man. I think it can't be peaceful because literally it's like, hey, Billy, like, yeah, he's not really doing anything right. Oh, boy, I really have to rethink this hat and shirt combo thing that I've made my whole thing. That's so funny. All right.

From Simon. Kevin took the bus downtown. While he was there, he went to a fishing store and bought a six and a half foot long fishing pole. When he tried to get back on the bus to go home, the bus driver stopped him and said that no objects over six feet long were allowed on the bus for safety reasons. Kevin then went to a nearby store, bought one item, and was able to get on the bus with his fishing pole. What item did he buy and how did that enable him to take his fishing pole on the bus? Shorter shoes. It was a gun.

He pointed to go at the guy and he said, you'll take me wherever I want to go. and the guy said yes this is America this is how it works you made it he like got something so it made it wide and not tall like a container what would he have gotten like a long like a very wide suitcase

okay don't make me don't make me look at my own action Aaron you are correct no I'm not but yes it's not a long suitcase is there a thing from a store that you could buy that would make maybe more sense

than a really long suitcase maybe think a little cheaper guitar case A bag I don't know if a bag would do it They're very form fitting Maybe something like a little more expensive than a bag A little less expensive than a guitar case

Buy it like a Home Depot maybe I feel like a ladder And then he throws the ladder In front of the bus and he goes That's like a distraction because it's over Eric you got the answer I'm not trying to be mean I was just trying to maybe help you find the like this

be something that makes it wider it's yeah it's something that that you could hide the dimensions of this thing by turning it sideways right like by making a long thing wide you got it i don't know how to make a long thing wide oh like a fun house mirror okay i'll just say i again i was trying this was more of a layup i was trying to be like pedantic he just bought a a box a six foot long box didn't i kind of say that well you you said you you said you Yeah, you said it, but you said, like, a suitcase. And then you said a bag, which are not a box. Like, a box would be, like, the simple answer.

Adel, I would like to take GPC to Riddlecourt. Yeah, all along. For making me feel small. Yep. Again, I was trying, it was a layup. It was a layup. All rise for Judge Alorafi. Please, please.

And I'm typing it all down over here. I'm over here, typing it all down. everyone have a seat we are gathered here today to witness the union union no oh check again i think i might be here for a different reason check the papers okay let's see ziggies ziggie's doing something fun garfield's up to no good dilbert don't really care what else what else uh oh it looks like erin keef is taking gpc to court for yes riddle court coffee stain okay you got this that'll just swing it so you want ownership of the baby no well if that can be a part if that can be negotiated in i'm willing to do it i'd like to retain that i don't necessarily know that that's up

i'm p c i'll be representing myself in court today jpc did not accept my answer to a riddle and instead dragged me across the floor i felt six foot tall and it felt like he put me in a long box and put me in the ground that's what it felt like A coffin? Your honor. Your honor. He's doing it again right now. I'm not trying to.

A coffin is a long box. Are we not using words anymore? Your honor. Sustained. Oh my God. You will address me as my honor. Because to you, I'm your honor, which would be said as my honor. Does that make sense?

Oh, my God. I just feel like I'm going to win this case. I just got a feeling of my bones. I'm going to work. my little, where's my little wooden hammer thing? Where's that wooden hammer? A gavel? Uh, no. Oh, here it is.

A gavel. Okay. Bing, bang, bang, bang. Okay. Uh, JPC, what do you have to say for yourself? I resent the fact that Aaron is trying to put me in a box and, you know, make me, make me, you said a long box in the ground. I mean, that's a coffin.

Jury, am I right? Jury of my peers, 12 deranged perverts. I love the court system. I love the court system. Okay. Seen. You can't call scene in your own riddle court, by the way. Moving forward.

That's a new rule that we can establish starting now. Thank you, Simon, for submitting that riddle to us on the show. Simon didn't say the scene could end. That's fucking right. Simon didn't say. Well, Simon does say the episode can end, though. So we takes us to our show. favorite portion of the episode. A portion

called plugs Aaron. What do you have to plug? Come see us on tour. Hey, riddle.com slash live. We're hanging out. We're going to different cities. It's I'm having a blast so far and it's only going to get more fun. So come hang out.

Adel, anything to plug? I want to plug Star Wars. JPC, do you have anything to plug? Yes. I'm going to comes to us on tour, do our Patreon, all that good stuff, and also read a review. If you want to get a five-star review featured on the show,

just send us a five-star review anywhere you write reviews. Today's is coming from Matt Tastic. It says, Came to laugh, stayed to cry. A show that will sometimes make you laugh, but for the most part induces fits of uncontrollable screams and night terrors. Most of your family and friends will cut you off, but you won't be alone in your madness

because Addle, Aaron, and JPC will be right there with you, especially since I, GPC, am a local feral cat named Scratches that everyone is scared of but no one is willing to stand up to. I sneak into local businesses and steal all the flushers on their toilets. Anyway, Aaron is a goddess and Adel is gods, aka my favorite. That's so nice. I don't necessarily know what I would do with all those flushers on the toilets. Jupiter.

Jupiter. I can cut this off, so this doesn't keep going. By saying Jupiter. Kind of start flushing the jupiter. It's not working. This has been Hey Riddle, Riddle. Created by Apple Refide. Starting, Aaron Keith

and John Patrick Collin. Casey Tony did be editing. Now are he parents in the music. Booko created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Naboris. One, two, three, four, hey, Riddle, Riddle. Hey there, Mayflowers and book printers. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another This Day in Improv History.

You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. By joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month, plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.