Hey Riddle Riddle - #371: Shakira Weekly! w/ Paul Rust & Neil Campbell

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

We're joined by Vegas bound buds Paul Rust & Neil Campbell! Mostly I (Adal) just want to apologize for declaring that 'Pyramid Song' is on Kid A. I've been listening to Kid A Mnesia and it caused me to falter....Also come see us on tour!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest:Neil CampbellPaul RustEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hey, Adel, not all drugs are created equal. Silas, Ibin, for example, when taken thoughtfully at sub-halusinogenic levels, can sharpen your focus, hone your mental clarity, unleash your creativity, expand your mind, open your heart, and ease your anxiety. And Aaron did kiss a car, and she is still a car. Update. We got her license plates, so she's completely fine, street legal.

She's got a VIN and everything, and I'm not talking about a diesel. And while you shouldn't experiment with those shrooms you got from your brother, sketchy friends, Schedule 35 takes a science-backed approach to microdosing shrooms. We precisely measure out every dose, verify the age of every one of our customers, and ship discreetly. And better yet, we give you a microdosing regimen that allows you to enjoy the benefits of psilocybin without any of the hallucinogenic effects. Now, I know what you're thinking. Hallucogenic effects.

We told you, there are none when you're microdose. And yet, Aaron is still a car. Still a car. Can these two things be at odds with each other? They are, in fact, not at odds with each other. We haven't confirmed. According to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, Aaron is officially a street little car.

And her Kelly Blue Book value is through the roof. It's skyrocketing. But you know what's not skyrocketing? The prices over at Schedule 35. You can get 15% off with code riddle at Schedule 35. That's 15% off at Schedule, the numbers 3.5.co, and use code riddle to get that discount. Woo. What do you think, JPC?

Should we take her for a ride? Um, it smells bad in there. Yeah, it smells like potato chips and pickles. Hold on now. That sounds, that feels pretty good. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse of being Friday. One, two, before, and Reddle, One, Two, Before, Reddle, One, Two, Before, Reddle, One, Two, Before, Reddle, Hey Riddle, Riddle. Well, welcome to Hey Rittle Riddle. we're recording in a way that we never have before

but we're all sitting sort of on a couch I feel like a little kid in the back of a seat in between my two older brothers it feels awful Okay Erin you have to start with one of our classic bits

People are going to be too confused If they Do you want some help? Are we there yet? Pull over, pull over pull over No kids Oh I'm in the back seat

Oh then who's driving the car So we're all sitting in a row And it feels It's a waymo A breast. I feel like we're in a podcast Waymo right now. I feel I hate this setup. This is horrible.

And this maybe speaks volumes to my sick brain. My first thought was sitting like Last Supper style. That's sick. You're a sick guy, man. Has anyone ever said that in stand up? Like, why were all the disciples sit on one side of the table? Aaron, can I blow your mind? What?

All stand up. Oh, no. Oh, I'm late. It's the first. What's the second bit? The first bit is they talk about the shirt that They picked. Right.

And it's like a bowling shirt or something. And it's like, this is stupid. I don't know why I wore this. Yeah. We're just describing Joe Rogan. Bowling shirt. Well, um. Let's, hey, I'll roll down the window to my side of the Waymo and there's another car.

Oh, look. Sort of in driving alongside us. Good. Is that good? Good world building. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of lets the people know.

Uh, we have Neil Campbell and Paul Rest here today. Roos here today. Roo. Hi, guys. We're going up right next. We're side by side in a smart car. Convertible. The way Paul was driving

was more like a Shrider car. I'm so happy to have you guys on the show. We're happy to be here. Thank you. And thank you guys so much. All of you for having us. Really appreciate it. I've had the pleasure of doing a little bit of improv with you

out here in L.A. But you guys have known each other for a very long time. Aaron, don't sell yourself short. You're one of the MVP. We're one of the MVP's. We want to make sure the show's good. I'm one of the MVP's. You're one of the MVP's.

I know it. Don't I know it? No, you tell me all the time I'm not. Yeah, if we want to make sure the show's good, we call you. If we're trying to tank the show sort of on behalf of some bookies or something, we don't call you? In L.A., people bet against improv shows. It's a huge industry. We take the under a lot.

But you guys met in college. That's right. We met at the University of Iowa at fall 2000. Wow. And so anybody who's about to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the release of Radiohead's Kid A before the first time Neil and I met, I overheard him talking about Kid A to somebody, to a group of people who's like, hey, has anybody listened to it yet? None of them had. I had, but I was too bashful to share my opinion. If you were a track on Kid A, you'd be Pyramid Song.

So understated and national But quietly, one of the best I'm going to make the deepest reference I may have ever made in my life Were you two, this is Hawkeyes, right? Were you two there at the same time as Tim Dwight? Yes. Okay.

Or at least I was, I'm older than Paul. He might have been my freshman year, might have been his senior year. He was like, he both went to the NFL. One of the best kick returners of all time. But then came back to Iowa and ran track. Oh, really? That was like the big thing.

Okay. After he had already played a year in the NFL was... When he was returning the ball, he'd run like a hundred meter dash. He has the ball on a baton. Yeah. He's possible I'm wrong about that. But yeah, he was... Why did he choose to do that?

You can change your mind and go back to college for a difference? That was the thing that was confusing to me too, because I thought they're all the rules. Obviously, are different now, but about amateur athletics. But for some reason, he was track eligible still and came back and ran track. I think. sucks to be stretching and you look over and you're like that guy's he just in the because he might have even like been one of those guys who made the Super Bowl his rookie year or something interesting um my

how do you know him one of my best friends was like a huge athlete in in kiwani illinois which is he's he's amazing but uh small pond um but i was was recruiting him so they're like here's tickets to a game you can bring a friend so we once saw it was Tim Dwight and Tavian Banks, I think, were like the big stars. And the game we went to, might have been against the Illini, but Tim Dwight had like four touchdown returns, like kickoff or punt returns for touchdowns. And we're like, this guy is a superstar. What do you mean you were recruiting him?

Oh, sorry. Iowa was recruiting. Oh, okay. Okay, gotcha. I thought you were like. This is a part of your backstory. I do not know. With an iPatch, I'm going to join the initiative.

Like, what are you are saying you, meaning you or I? U of I. You of I. It's all covered. It's all covered. Oh my God, thank you. Philip Dickian, yeah.

Are you guys going to do to celebrate your 25-year friendship anniversary, a trip? That's a good question. It actually probably is coming up in like a few months. Yeah. Listen to kid a.

Yeah, probably just do a kidday listening party. It's funny, Neil. Neil and I have been talking about, hey, let's go to Vegas sometimes with some buddies. Maybe it would be to celebrate our 20th year of our friendship. That'd be cool. That would be.

Metallica at the sphere? Hey, all right. I want to see the sphere. I'd say anything there. I want to see the sphere. I have ever seen. I want to a reason. So Metallica's playing at the sphere?

October, I think. So is it like just a big screen of like skulls? I have to imagine. Spooky like that. Yeah. Each Backstreet Boys just played. I saw you two there. And I think each band does their own.

Yeah, that's what I was wondering. I know you two like specifically designed a show to be like the kickoff of the sphere. But with a normal. band is a like can you just go there and like the sphere people are like don't worry we got you covered we just like film you and project it in a cool way or we turn on like the iTunes visualizer

or like do you need to have like invested $5 million into like 360 like graphics and stuff to even be able to perform this fall they're also showing the Wizard of Oz and it's like a 4D experience where I think they're like blowing paper into the audience and stuff but it was like a few million dollars I think to like change

to go all right no yeah to go per ticket to change the visuals enough to fit in that space. So I think it's like touring shows just can't like go through there. I know that the sphere is like preparing with that Wizard of Oz show. It's like it's going to be the first case of somebody doing psychedelics. So they're just going to have. When it goes from black and white to color, I mean. It's inspiring people to do it for the first time.

I will tell you that that is my plan for my birthday this fall is to maybe do. something at the sphere while I watch Wizard of Us. It sounds like maybe Metallica still there. Oh, I'll be so upset if I I'm expecting Wizard of Us and Metallica. I'll be so spooked. People think it's Pink Floyd, but it's actually Metallica, all their albums sync up to

Wizard of Oz. It'll be perfect. Return to Oz also, yeah. Tin man. The question that we always ask our guests, especially a first-time guests on the podcast, is what is your relationship with puzzles, riddles, lateral thinking problems. In recent years, we've started adding escape rooms to that list as well.

Were they a big part of your childhood? Are they something you haven't thought about in 30 years? Like, where do they land for you? My first thought here was we had this like children's version of Encyclopedia Britannica that was called like Childcraft Books. And they were like the color of a rainbow. and you could sort of put them either in the Roy G. Biv area or just the numbers, like, looked great together. And there was a puzzle book that was just like a different versions.

I remember one that was like six different snakes all bundled up together, and you had to find which ones had the same patterns by, like, following their tails. So I loved that. Okay. And that's probably where I peaked in terms of my love for puzzles on me. I had that same set and I bought one of the books recently and it blew my mind to flip through it and be like, oh my God. Because there's like stuff from Phantom Pool Booth and it's a real hodgepodge of like children's literature. I bet just looking at that has to be the sensory memory of like seeing a specific page is probably pretty impactful. What about you, Neil?

I've never done an escape room. I do like the crossword every day, which I feel like is puzzle adjacent. And you start to learn kind of some of the, oh, this is a short. for this or this one's being tricky you know and you don't think of this one too literally do you have a like a best time that you've done on the crossword

the best time yes I do well I have like my streak I do it every day on the New York Times one and my streaks like in the like 1600s right now oh yeah my all time best is a Monday I got 2.49 whoa holy fuck nice Neil

two minutes two minutes 49 seconds on a Monday one yeah wow um that's so crazy that's crazy i hate to say this because you've been so nice um could you prove it i could my chuggy chugging in the other room but i'll i'll pull it out and show you was that just filling up all of the squares or did the where the answer's correct were there like words and so it doesn't it doesn't mark you done until yeah yeah i tend to just hold down the x but you know what i riddle wise so but that's the thing i feel like okay i but i'm like it's just like in a different lane because sometimes then I see a riddle I'm like my mind doesn't work like this. It's it's not the same thing. But I'm sure you guys have actually

probably talked about this on the show. But you know what I find so annoying are the things that get suggested to you on Instagram that are like, I guess they're just clickbait where it's like a riddle, but it'll be like which of these isn't a real time. But they are all real times. Like unless maybe the parameters were like according to military time or something like that you know have you ever seen these or it'll be I've not seen these there's another thing there's like different people I kind of get suggested

this one couple and it's always a guy like all right how do you do and he's trying to like have his like girlfriend or wife or whatever solve a riddle and like he's like no it's just like you watch it if you want to see like a man tell a woman she's wrong yeah that's what this podcast is baby for like two minutes and it's just

and it's also it'll be like the most stupidly and and there's a few other things like this so I'm conflating some of these now but sometimes it'll be like divide 500 by half and add three and you're like no well you're already like fucking with people because you're saying divide 500 by half instead of in half so does that mean divide it by 0.5 or does that mean divide in it and so it just it's but they're doing it deliberately to create comments where everyone just bickers and boost engagement but it's just so annoying to be like oh you why just have like fake no answer riddles.

Yeah. That just means you're stupid as opposed to like you could have come up with a riddle and try to engage people in that way too, you know. I'd like to think that there's like some sort of military connection that like if you get 239 on a Monday on a New York Times crossword on your Instagram, they start sending you like the reason we haven't seen. Right. They're trying to see if you're ready to be a spy.

I literally think it might be that. I have like the, you know, the New York Times games app. And so I'm sure my phone's telling Instagram like, hey, he is. the game's up, you should suggest in this shit. But specifically, it's a military recruitment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they have asked me if I want to be alias, so. Oh, that could be fun.

Yeah, specifically alien. Do it for a couple years? Yeah, they sent me a red wig. Was her name alias? Oh, it must have been. It was like, Julie alias. Yeah, Megan alias. She's trying to have it all.

But, J.P.C., that was a nomadip luke. Okay. Okay. The alias is on the other foot. We struggle with riddles. We don't like it when they're smug like that. But we don't like it when they're smug like that. They can be a little bit condescending inherently.

So that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, a lot of the Instagram stuff, yeah. Again, I don't even think there's really a right answer. It's just like phrased poorly so that a man could tell a woman, she's wrong. I'm jealous. My Instagram is all like raccoon smoking cigarettes. My algorithm knows me. Is this post-cordious?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're at least post-sax. That's the only time they're allowed. Yeah. Just to level set, a lot of the, we're on year seven or eight, a lot of the riddles we do are kind of what you describe. Really? It's lateral thinking problems where it's like, you hear the answer and you're like, oh, it's missing a lot of information for me to glean that. So the example we typically give for lateral thinking is like there's a cab, and you might have heard this, there's a cab.

there's a cabin in the woods everyone in the cabin is dead there's no footprints in or out of the cabin there is snow on the ground but no footprints how did everyone die they all died the same way have you heard this one

no so the normal mind is like cabin in the woods is it a murder is it what's going on it's a cabin of an airplane it was a plane crash kind of thing so a lot of our riddles are like that but worse where it's like it's missing a lot of it right It sounds like, I guess I could have been a carbon monoxide leak, right?

Hondo P. So just a level said, the riddles are bad. I eagerly anticipate it. There's probably 30 good riddles, and we did those all within the first six weeks. It's been going for eight years, so now we have to do whatever's life. So now it's this. Yeah. Should we get to our first room?

Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. And guys again, I'm so sorry. Here's what This is maybe on the I don't even say easier side Because it's still sex

Walter spent three days in the hospital Okay He was neither sick Nor injured But when it was time to leave He had to be carried out Insurance fraud No

Is that the riddle? Is that it? That's the riddle Why is that the end there Oh he's a newborn Was it in Bingo bingo Hot to talk

Got it one Mr. Crosswords Well 128 on that Well, we don't know for sure That a newborn wasn't committing insurance fraud Some of them do Some of them are criminals

I thought for a moment I was like oh The hospital is in an airplane Paul was saying Really close attention to how the show goes The rest of the riddles Always the answer is in an airplane Yeah, is it an elevator in an airplane

Do they have this? Airplane hospitals A maximum three days Let's try another one here Okay A man wakes up at night In the pitch dark He knows that on his bedside table

Are a razor, a watch And a glass of water He can reach out onto the table And be sure to pick up the watch Without touching either the razor Or the glass of water How To light up watch

That's a great guess That's not what I have here But Aaron I think I do give you full points for that Wow Man wakes up at night in the pitch dark. He knows that on his bedside table or a razor watch and glass of water.

How can he reach out onto the table and be sure to pick up the watch without touching the other two items? Is it making noise? No. Also a great guess. And I'm going to retire. You had two great guesses.

Not just two guesses. And now I'm tired. And I'm going to sort of go back to the bench. Good luck. Like the pitch dark makes me think it's an airplane. Yeah. Obviously. Obviously.

Like that it's a... Actually, he's blind. He just knows where everything. thing is, but I'm kind of still a blind guy that doesn't really change anything. Is it one of those things where he wakes up in the dark and then takes him in it for his eyes to

adjust and then is able to pick up the watch? Oh, like a Vin Diesel and pitch black? I was thinking more just like how like a person would do that. Or he's next to like a sort of long like dining table like the Beauty and the Beast dine at and the watch

is the only one near him and the other two objects are 17 feet away. I simply must see you soon. Aaron, you're asleep in bed. And on your nightstand table are, we'll say, a glass of water, Paul, and a watch, Neil. And it's almost like a blue mirror wadsworth situation. Oh, dearth me. I've grown quite parched.

Well, it is time for. a little snack. Let's wake her up. Get up, get up. What? What? We have grown quite thirsty.

You're a glass of water. That's the comic irony that can only be cooked up by those wizards and Disney themselves. Don't you want to strap me on? It's your time it is. You'd like that.

Okay, you'd like that. You know what, guys, wait, where's the razor? The razor? I thought you're supposed to be watching him. Oh, I guess I was... He was saying something about ending at all. But we were relieved to consider that as I, as a drink of water, can't drink myself. A razor wouldn't be able to use a razor on itself.

No, I did it. Oh, I did it. Oh, no. Yeah, I figured it out. How did you? You bent. Yeah. It's a weird bend.

It's a weird bend. And I know why he did it, because you haven't fallen in love with our master yet. And you guys, I'm working on it. He's just so boring. What? You were hoping a big furry beast instead of a more pig man beast that we got? I was sort of hoping sort of like a gruff kind of beast. But he's gruff.

He's a piece of shit. No, you guys, I'll find a different way to break the curse. I'm astounded to find out that the pig man is boring. He has to have some tales about a, oh, bean in the mud. And it's to save my life. Don't you care about me? And it's not even true love.

It's just one hand job. Is that the curse? I can give one hand job. Oh, well, please, by all means, I'm dying of a broken neck. Just to care of all his penis is barbed. Knock knock on, goank. Oh, it's him. It's him. Hello, master.

Master, master. Just Frank is fine. Oh, Frank is fine. I love Rocky Horror. Have you seen, and I'm covering my eyes in case I don't know if you sleep in the... She does. She does. You know?

Do you want microwave eggs or... Yeah. I love you. Seed and scene. Classic Beauty and the Beast. I felt like I might know the answer to it in the middle of that scene, which never happened. That's good, Aaron. No, but then I...

I think I don't think it's right, so forget it. Oh, okay. Glow in the dark wristband? Yeah. Oh, are his hands magnets. Paul, you are the closest so far. Ooh, glow in the dark wristband. Magnet is also a great guess.

Because if his hands magnets, he pulls up watch. He can see a sheen from the moon on the razor and the water. It definitely has something to do with what you two were circling. The illumination of the wristwatch. Very good guess. It's ticking? It's a little more, speaking of Razors,

Occam's Razor in this situation. So, luminescence, but from the most... Hmm. It's on his nightstand. Okay. He's on his nightstand. His light is not on his nightstand

because it's pitch dark. Oh, is it quite digital? You're getting very warm by what you just said, Japs. It's not... The watch can be digital or undigital. Is the watch on,

wait, so the light, the light is close? Like his bet. Is his, like, watch plugged in? Oh, this, I feel like everyone's gonna be so mad. I don't know. I were you, I'd start running. So it's pitch dark. These items are on his nightstand.

Yes. How is he able to grab the one item he wants without sort of, um. Oh, does it make, emit some sort of tone? Uh, no. Do I? Am I deeping? Am I beeping right now?

I haven't changed my battery in a decade. I've heard of people having at night, like, tonal emissions. Like, when you're first, like, going through puberty, you'll wake up sometimes. Boom! Open your mouth and the radio station comes up. Is the guy in the bed a bat, and he's using echolocation? Again, a little more simple. That's the simplest answer.

More simple than the man being a bat in the bed? Are the other things inside the drawer and that's the only... Yeah? That's warm, not in the drawer, but on the table. So this is on his nightstand. And I would say he does interact with a... He's a watchholder. No, he does interact with another item before he gets to watch.

He turns on the light. He turns on the lamp. Oh, Addle. Oh, my gosh. Oh, Adel. And, folks, I am so sorry. He turns on the lamp, of course. That's what I would do.

I should have put myself in his shoes That's right In his pajamas If we had only put ourselves in his pajamas I don't want to advocate for bullying But whoever wrote this riddle Should have been shoved in a locker Did you hear that

Des McHale Wow Aaron sounds like You just committed a hate crime I'm sorry We used to look up on a There was a website that was like Practical jokes I just was thinking of that

And it's I'm sure long lost to the internet You know it's internet like 1.5 basically but it was user submitted like practical jokes but mostly just seemed to be like things in nine year old thought could be like a thing like either they were yes they were either like logistically impossible

or it would just be like go into church and when you start to pray say dear God of hell prank God gets that prayer and he's like no that's the one I specifically dear God of hell thank you for the whole

Holy shit. What? That's right. I remember the full thing. I would love if that nine-year-old ended up in hell and they're like, well, this is what you get. Yeah. Remember the prank you did?

Could I see that scene of a little boy visiting the devil in hell? JPC, do you want to be the devil? Sure. Adel, do you want to be the little boy? Yeah. Great. For the record, I don't believe in hell. But I'll pretend.

Whoa, big old gay. Yes, these are big old gate Are you St. Peter? Am I St. Peter? No. I'm the devil. I'm obviously the devil. Horns, pointy tail,

Tabasco sauce. Oh. What are you doing here? You're a little boy. You shouldn't be here in hell. Hell, hells for adults. I farted in church. Hey, who did you say just got here?

Whoa. No, no. All right, bye. Bye, bye. You don't want anything to do with him. That's a very mad man. This is hell. Who was that?

It's a very bad man. Initials. I could tell you, but, I mean, you're, what, you're nine? Yeah. Nine from now, you wouldn't know. Nobody knows nowadays. I'm an old soul. There's a line.

Hold on, okay? You're an adult woman who looks like you have a blender in your throat? Yeah. You try to drink a blender? Okay, I'll wait my turn. Yes, you will. Oh, dang, hell's like beetle juice, like in the waiting room. You farted in church?

Yeah, but I think because I laughed. Did that killed you? No. What do you mean? Huh? You're still alive? No. Okay.

Just tell them what you did wrong and so we can all get into hell. Not everyone did something wrong to get to hell. Oh, wait. Do you want to know what I did wrong or how I died? Does it have to be the same thing? I guess not. Now that I'm thinking of it, I guess not. What did you do wrong?

You farted in church. Parted it in church. That doesn't get you to hell, though. Is that all you did? I think so. I mean, you would probably know best, right? Did you pray to the devil? Yeah.

Okay. Well, that'll do it. I'm assuming everyone in line prayed to the devil? We all raise your hands. No cats in hell. Meow. God. It's been all day weeding out little kids and cats. We really can't take kids. You definitely, we can take you. Nobody in here is going to work.

How did you get done here? What's that? You go ahead. I was just saying this place is so unorganized. Been waiting in line for like 15 minutes. Oh, 15 minutes. It's hell, sweetie. It's supposed to be bad. Okay.

Okay. You know what? Back of the line for you. What? Yeah, your hell starts now. I swallowed a blender. It's like Disney, where, you know, the ride starts in line. Are you familiar with Disney? Oh, the immersiveness of it?

Yeah, they say the ride starts in line. Fuck this. What do you mean fuck this? Where are you going? I'm going back to Earth. Ah, shit. Ah, fuck. Hey.

I thought I heard a kid right here. Is one of my Hokomaniacs around? No, none of your... What about my good friend, MJ? Yes, he's here. I thought I heard you. You guys could go... Tee-hee around me.

Yeah. Remember the time. I do remember the time I visited you on the set of Remember the Time. You are two of the worst that we have down here. Hey, you want to go get out of here and just catch up his friends? Don't wink at me. I don't totally... I'm just saying we don't always do evil stuff.

Come hang out with me in Hooter. Hooters from Captain E.O. Seed, save, seen. Oh, brother. And I don't know if you remember, but in Captain Eo, they can't find the map because Hooter ate the map. Yes. Aaron, is that a memory of yours? No, not.

It's not. It did not cross my desk. It's a big plot point in Captain Eo. I probably owe mooky like a. A little tip of the hat. That was sort of his Michael Jackson impression. I stole. The Hawks player?

Oh, no. Comedian, because he has a similar last name, Michael Blakelock, then got the nickname Mookie. So Mokey, Mokey. I do like doing a Michael Jackson impression and then throwing someone else under the bus for it. That wasn't even me, honestly.

That was like Addle's Michael Jackson impression. So it's all credit to him. It's always tickled me. Me too. Like it fits perfectly. My Michael Jackson's more of like a jawa where it's like Tihini. Pahina.

Pahana. Oh, tini. Let's do another riddle here. Ooh, this one's going to ruffle some feathers. A healthy man got dressed and then lay down and died. Why? And for this one I do have some hints. A healthy man got dressed and then lay down and died.

Did like, did like, 50 years pass in between the two things that you described? That is exactly how you should be thinking. Okay. But that is unfortunately not the right answer for this one. Healthy man, he got dressed and then he laid down and died.

Mm-hmm. And is this something where if I read it, it was like it's not like he dyed his hair. Like it's... That's what I was going to ask. It's not D-Y-E-D. You are also thinking along the right lines but that is not correct. Is this a man who was doing like an

ice luge and he got in his like lushing gear and then laid you lay down for that right? What am I thinking of? Yeah. What do you lay down? And then he like you know yeah but he died instead it was like tired up into a dragon's mouth or something. Well I was gonna say yeah I was gonna say dragon's mouth which happened more often. That's a

huge risk for people for ice loosing. Was he in a play? He was not in a play. Did he put on poison clothes? Oh yeah. Oh you are very hot. Hot hot With poison clothes, huh? With poison clothes?

Did he, he went, before he laid down, did he say, these clothes are to die for? He got dressed in like an operating gown or something? Oh, that's a great guess, but not correct. Poison clothes is, I mean, you are pretty much, you're pretty much on the money. Okay, well, when we brought that to Shark Tank, no one cared, and they told us to date.

Did he? Yeah, does it have spikes on it or something? Did he lay down on like a poison bed? Did you wear any nails? Who's, uh, a poison? Did you say spikes? I said, yeah, spikes are on his suit. But I'm standing on the shoulders of a poison suit giant.

And we all know that. We all are. Was it like a bed of nails? No, but poison spikes. Magician. These are like organic poison spikes. If you really think about it and stretch it. A pig's penis?

No, we've already established that. Paul said that. He's allergic to cotton. So poison, what is a, a thorn? Is that what you're talking about? This is the closest thing. Remember how pigs orgasm for 90 minutes? I know we've talked about that in Ozzym on the show,

but every time we talk about pig's penises, I think immediately what I think about. Oh, I hate it. Oh, wait, wait, pig's penises. You guys didn't finish guessing which celebrity I saw today. Who did you see? Think pigs' penises, but not necessarily penis. But not necessarily penis.

Just think pigs. Pigs? He's a celebrity who was famous for a pig movie. Babe? James Cromwell? I saw James Cromwell. I didn't know he was still alive. He was.

Down the street is the James Cromwell Pita Center. Is that right? Yeah. I saw him at a vegan restaurant because he is famously a vegan because he became a vegan like two days into shooting Babe. Whoa. Yeah. He was shooting that movie and then he said, I do not want to consume animal products anymore. Because there are spiders in the.

Yeah. He looked, he looked good. There was, he did have like a helper there helping him like move about. Babe. I guess so. Babe was there. Babe's pretty old now for a pig. Baby is 35

Probably five year old pig in that movie Okay, yeah And I gotta say I was thinking Charlotte Sweb Because of the answer to this riddle Organic poison needle Spider bite There was a poison spider in his shoe Neil

And here's the thing Neil I should have The minute you said Poison spikes or whatever You should have I should have rung the bell We should have handed you the oversized check I guess it is poison clothes

Kind of It's like yeah We just missed like Yeah. By the way, that answer is the equivalent of like a stray bullet. Yeah, right?

A plane fell out of the sky and smoked him. An additional thing happened. Yeah. The way it's written in the riddle is the last thing he put on was his shoe and it contained a deadly spider that bit him. He died shortly after.

So, Neil, I got to say. Is he also he put on shoes to lie down? That's a great question. I think he laid down like... Because he was dying. Yes, it is, yes. Gotcha. Why couldn't they just said there's a spider in the pocket of his suit?

It's weird that the shoes are a component when it wasn't even like really said. Also, I don't know about you guys, but the shoes are the first thing that I put on, right? Like right out the shower. No. That's not universal. What? Sociopath. You dry off first, I bet.

Can you believe this? Doesn't put her wet feet in shoes if she gets out of the shower. I do want to see a scene. Neil, since you solved it, I'll give me the option. Do you want to be in the seat or you don't have you to cool off? Don't give you the option. I don't think you've ever given some of the option before at all. I'll take the option.

Because you, I mean, I should have given it to you. You nailed it. Neil, you're going to be a spider dad. Your wife didn't come home last night, and you have to break the news to your daughter, Aaron. Dad, dad, I made a web look. Yeah, yeah, it's a beautiful, dear. Look, we need to have a talk.

What's going on? So, you know, you know how I'm always capturing flies and killing them? Yeah, it's delicious. Yeah. Have you ever wondered what happens, you know, to that flies family? It maybe has a wife, it has a kids at home. Yeah, flies have families just like we're a family. What?

Yeah. Flies have families? Yeah. And so sometimes... That's horrible. Sometimes someone doesn't come home, and it's our fault. We're the ones who poop. Camstrom in a web.

Dad, you've been, like, tormenting these flies and, like, messing with them and telling them you're going to let them go and stuff? Yeah, and I started to cut off the top of their head and feed them their own brains and stuff. Yeah, yeah. They had families? Yeah, they had families who missed them. Well, unfortunately, we're in a similar predicament. Your mom last night...

I love mom. Well, she pulled that classic prank. She got in a man's shoe before he put on his suit. Classic mom. And, um, uh, bit, um, and she's been arrested. What? And I, and we do, um, we do take a quick break to pan over to JBC the Fly dad with the top of his head cut off in a mouthful of brain and the fly son with a top of the head cut off of mouthful of a brain stuck in the web talking to each other. Oh, so you know how we eat shit off the ground?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This is way better. At first when I heard I was going to have to eat my own brains Check please Right But after eating like nonstop actual Feces

This is like so not bad It's got a flavor That shit just doesn't have Yeah Can I get you guys anything? Water More of my brains please Can I please have more

Tell me there's more brains in there Oh I'm almost full Is there not or I think we could scoop out a little bit more Is there other Fly brains that we could eat? Can you bring us like the Albert Einstein of flies?

We don't care. He's not some big juicy brood. We're amoral when it comes to eating other brains. It is market price for other brains. This is my last meal, so I don't mind spurging a little bit. And we cut to the funeral for the mother spy where the daughter is performing a song.

Mom, I thought you just got arrested. I don't know what happened. She was executed. Tara Hout, Indiana Same place Timothy McVeigh was killed That's awful Um

Her last meal was her own brains She chose to eat her own brains for her last meal That's not what spiders do Timothy McVey did that? Yeah Good for him Anyways, let's pack it up Let's take a quick break

We'll be right back with more Riddles 1-8-4-8-R-R-R-R-A-R-R-A-R-R-A-R-R-B-R-R-Brit-T. J.P.P.C., what happened? I just, I cut myself again on some of my closet staples. Oh, JPC. Yeah, I got a horrible misunderstanding. I got a closet full of staples

because I've heard that it's like good to like... You stapled all your clothes. You're going to need, oh boy. I think that you're thinking of closet staples, like clothes that you can wear a lot that look good with other things. I get mine from Quince. Have you heard of Quince?

They have closet staples you want to reach for over and over carefully, like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters from just $50, breathable flow knit polos and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners.

I'm wearing some right now. Wee. Oh, okay. I think I have, you guys, I think this is another one of my classic mix-em-ups where I've fundamentally misunderstood the assignment. A hundred percent. And guess what? With Quince, everything is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. My sheets are from Quince. That's why I look so well-rested. That's why you're always wearing sheets? These are real clothes. Those are real clothes. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay, great. Nope. And I'm getting it.

I actually know Quince and I love Quince because I have a lightweight hoodie from Quince that I wore to our Portland show, our Seattle show, and here in L.A. It is wonderful. It's my favorite item of clothing that I own. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices in premium fabrics and finishes. So you don't even have to feel bad when you're wearing your hoodie. So stop covering your wet naked body with staples from the staple store. What the hat? Use a towel. Yeah, maybe somebody else did the call-to-action.

Mine's all messed up. Keep it classic and cool with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle to get free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash riddle. And let me grab that stapler from you. No, no, no. I need this for my clothes.

Nope. Quince, it's quite comfortable. Hell yeah. Yes, Adel. Yeah. Hey, Adel, hey, Erin. Can I tell you something that I'm kind of like ashamed of? Yeah, of course, always.

When I was a kid, all of my two brothers, all of our birthdays are within a month, and it's all around Christmas time. So we used to just get like Christmas birthday gifts, and sometimes we would just get like combo gifts together. And I would always tell my brothers that we could pool all of our money together and just get one big Lego. And then I would insist on doing the Lego and putting it. together myself.

How do you put together one big Lego? Oh, I guess it's more like an expensive Lego kit, not one big Lego block. I mean, you didn't really understand finances. You didn't have anything like acorns early when you were growing up. So how are you supposed to know? He, he, he. Hey, kids, it's me. Birthday Santa.

Birthday Santa? That's right. You're real? Yes. And I want to tell you about acorns early, which is something. JBC, it sounds like you and your brothers wish you had. Yeah, we could have used. Yeah, absolutely.

Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up. Oh, so cool. You can start with in-app chores tracker and teach your kids the value of a dollar. Then let your kids set their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early. Kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with Acorn Early's early spending limit and real-time, spend notifications, parents always stay in control.

And I mean, I would have loved having this growing up. I would know way more about money than I do right now. Right, right. I mean, but I'm like a newer thing. Like, I'm for kids who have birthdays around Christmas. I understand. But all kids' kids, but anyway, piggy banks are cute and great for who's change, quarters, et cetera.

But these days there are so much more that kids need to know about money. He-he-he-horns early makes it easy to teach kids lifelong money skills that they can actually use in the real world. And I love the Acorn's Early app. I've played around in here. My kids are a little too young to start right now because they're kind of like a little toddler. But I'm so excited for them to be able to use features like this because I think like being able to track all of these things when you are young and have money literacy at a young age

is so, so, so important to being a, you know, person that exists in the world nowadays. Well, I'm a person that exists in the world. Who said I wasn't? Yeah, no. Anyway, if you're ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save and. spend get your first month on us when you head to acorns early.com slash hey riddle or download the acorns early app that's one month free when you sign up at acorns early.com slash hey riddle acorns early card is issued by community federal savings bank member fdic pursuant

to licensed by master card international free trial to news subscribers only subscription fee starting for five dollars per month unless canceled terms apply to acorns.com slash early terms he he he oh santa needs to lay down I mean I mean, birthday Santa needs to lay down. Love whatever your thing is, man. Don't stress. Oh, he, he, he, ho. Hey, rid to break,

I think Timothy McVeigh's last meal was like, was he the one that had the four pints of ice cream? Oh, maybe. I really wish I knew. Yeah. It's going to kill me that. I don't know what he ate before he died. What vegan restaurant were yet?

Crossroads. Crossroads. Crossroads's kitchens. Yeah. What would be your last meal? probably crossroads I took okay can we come back

so I love that place I don't know if Adel you've been Aaron have you gone with us we went last time we were in town I've been before I don't know if I've been with you but it's all

it's an all vegan restaurant but they don't do that thing we're on the menu they don't say like vegan scallops and like vegan chicken they just say like chicken scallops or whatever but I told my my in-laws that it was a vegan restaurant when we went and neither one of them

are vegan um but so uh there's like items that are clearly marked gluten free because my mother-in-law's gluten-free and um they both ordered their food and then we're like asking the waiter like can I sub out the cream and I was like there's no cream it's vegan you can't eat dairy but it's fine it's and they're like great and then they're like and then can I uh sub up the gluten-free pasta I was like that the thing you got is gluten-free like you don't there's no sub-outs that you need to make it's totally fine everything I've made sure that everything that is here you can both eat and then my father-in-law got his food and he was eating it and he was like well why did they have scallops here I was like well they're not scallops those nothing that you eat here is going

to be me at all I was like those are those are definitely mushrooms and he was like those were mushrooms it doesn't matter yeah I enjoy everyone enjoy I have season tickets to the angel city women's soccer team here and they the food options have changed kind of over the years but they used to have a wolfies there, which was a vegan, but a hot chicken place. Oh, okay. But it said, like, in all the sort of art as you're waiting in line on, like, the sort of columns and stuff behind you, plant-based, da-da-da, but it's also kind of easy to, like, it's like, not that this will help the listener, but, like, behind us

right here, it says headgum, L.A. Pocket. Like, you don't, like, come in the room and necessarily read that. You just sort of take, like, this thing on the wall as being, as a thing, yeah, as a thing. So often, they were just trained. As you got up there in order, they went, and this is vegan. just so you know, right? I would say one out of every three times

I would see like someone ahead of me or once I got up close to the front be like, oh, no, and they like walk away. And it would be like a long line. That's so funny. Yeah, it was just. They should have a voice played over like a loudspeaker nearby

that's like, vegan. Vegan. It's so slow though that people like just kind of block it out as well. Yeah. It's just like, I love it has to be like White album played in reverse

Paul is dead like It's just like it's stadium food No matter what I'm kind of like You waited in line for 20 minutes You're at the front Like Is your goal to like eat something Or is your goal to like make sure

Like a chicken die Just get the fucking vegan chicken And go watch the soccer game That's psycho that people would walk away Is deep fried So it's like when it's deep fried Like I can see that if you were going to get like a vegan chicken cutlet that was like, you know, that you could,

but it's deep fried. It's like all battered and fried. Right. This isn't like an NFL state. There's only so many options at the stadium, but it's not like a massive stadium. It's just like, yeah, it was cycle and people walked away. Just get it. It's stadium food.

It's stadium food. Yeah, that's wild. But it sounds like my father-in-law, exactly. Like, he would eat the chicken sandwich, but if you told him it was a vegan chicken sandwich, you'd be like, well, what else can we get? I don't want to get it. I feel like here they're probably pretty good about it. But my wife is vegetarian.

I feel like in the Midwest, anytime she says vegetarian, they go, so fish is okay? Like, it's almost across the board. But I'm sure, I mean, California seems very well adjusted. I remember when I was first vegetarian, I asked my, not asked, I told my grandmother,

which I told her every time we had any sort of dinner together that I was a vegetarian. And she said, can you eat shrimp and pasta? But I said, hmm, what to do with that question? because I don't want to give a confusing half answer, but I don't want to really take pasta off the table because that's one of the one things I will be able to eat.

I had Angel City season tickets, but they were always in the hot sun. Oh, I've switched seats a couple of times once. Season one, I was in the hot sun. Season two wasn't, and it was okay. Stayed there, season three as well. And then season four moved back to the sun's side, but there are fewer day games this.

year. So I think only once or twice will I be in the actual sun. And a little lower as well. Because every time I go, I'd like leave sunburnt and like I didn't see a single moment of the game. Yeah, that was a season. That's awful. Glided Sunburne. What's the mascot for the team? They don't have a mascot.

Or like the, is it just Angel City Angels or? No, it's just called Angel City FC. Oh, okay. But I guess their logo has like a little bit of a wing thing on it. Yeah, but there's definitely not like a fun mascot. That's, there's no like Ellie the elephant for the Liberty or whatever. It would. Yeah. I would love it if they did have one, though.

Oh, I'd love it. If they got like a funny, gritty kind of. Yeah, something horrible. I do you think Philadelphia solved any mascot issue, which is like, it doesn't have to relate to the, just make a crazy thing. Yeah, that's fun to look at. What's the roadblock? What's the roadlock to getting that mascot, though? I don't know.

They're not expensive, right? Some teams just don't do it. I mean, like, the Dodgers don't have a mascot. You know, I think a lot of baseball, I would, I wonder, I would bet like maybe half of baseball teams have a mascot. Dodgers have the saddest story behind their name. Trolley Dodgers? Yes. Which is so many people were hit and killed by trolleys in Brooklyn when they were the Brooklyn Dodgers that, yeah.

That's horrible. I think it was sort of like a term for a Brooklynite because there were so many trolleys, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're one of those trolley dodgers from Brooklyn land, are you? You know, like one of the remaining people from Brooklyn that wasn't killed by the industry. A wonderful Knickerbocker like me. It's so funny Let's do some

Let's switch it up here Okay Just to not Infuriate our guests Yeah they're gonna snap out of Aaron keeps elbowing me in the ribs These are some MASH-up riddles that we received

At a recent live show in Seattle These are from Quinn Quinn thank you so much Thank you Quinn These are sort of a mashup of two celebrity names I'll give you one sentence Of a hint that will contain hints For the two celebrities

and then you have to find a way to combine them I think they're all I think all sort of last name bleeding into the first name of the next celebrity Okay okay Are you the celebrities James Cromwell

That's the only celebrity I like now I'm right or die for him So for example sake This and some of these I'm going to change slightly just to make them a little Because some of these Personally I think are a little quick to solve So I'm going to just change some of the clues slightly

This former Billy Elliott act sings 80s hit Man Eater and you make my dreams Tom Holland You got the first part Tom Holland Oats Tom Holland Oates I was going Jimmy Bell

Oats Jimmy Bell Biv DeVoe Also very acceptable So let's go into the next one here This Scottish actor goes on to play Southern lawyer Atticus Finch This Scottish actor

goes on to play Southern Warrior Atticus Fitch. Gregory Peck? James Crumbwell. You end up Gregory Peck? Ding, ding, ding. Nice one. Okay, what if they kissed?

Hmm. Aaron, what's this? What if they kissed? They're both so handsome. What if we combined them together? This is my Gregory Peck. Scout, gem, cow. That's pretty good.

Yeah. Shiferobe. Shiffroop. Shiferoop. This Hong Kong action star gives memorable performances and outtakes as well as takes off their clothes Jackie Channing Tatum

Yes Whoa You got Channing Tatum off takes off their clothes Well I just assumed it was Jackie Chan I don't know that a lot of other Hong Kong action stars are like You know at the A name everyone would know

Yeah tip of your tongue Hong Kong action star I want Jackie Channing Tatum O'Neil Whoa Thruples Oh are the people who wrote these clues so hung up that they can't even imagine

a world of thrupleblum speaking of hung up Sammo hung like a horse stripper I think also works let's go to the next one this Latin pop star Erin you're arresting your whole nose and mouth on the mic

My head is so heavy Heavy as the head Yeah I was also just thinking I was like I would love if Jackie Chan was in Magic Mike 3 I think he is. I think they're making it

and I think he is. I would die for it. My ass would be in that theater. He's like jumping through a ladder taking off his pants and gets stuck. Oh, that's something that you guys could do in your Vegas friendship trip is go to Magic Mike XXL. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. I still like the Thunderdown Under. Oh, yeah. I'm never going to flip. There's some people who are flipping and going from Thunder Down Under to Magic. I just don't want to get recruited while on there.

Yeah, they'd be like you're one of us. Yeah. Oh, God. They're coming over. No one else can enjoy the show because they're like, the guy next to reason. Yeah, this must be a plan. It's obviously a plan.

Just giving you plenty of space letting you like pop up at any time. In my favorite documentary about table setting called set, it's truly so funny. It feels like a Christopher guest movie. One of the women in it reveals like halfway through that she's seen Thunder Down Under like 52 times. She goes, any extra money I have, I go to Vegas. Wow. Any extra money. That's so sad to say it as extra money.

Yeah, that's all she does is go to Thunderdown. Hey, you can't take it with you. I do want to see you soon. Let's say, Paul, you are in Vegas. You're at the, we'll say the Bellagio. And you are, you're from out of town, obviously, as all the Vegas people are. You've somehow found your way on stage during a Circtus L.A. performance. And we'll say, Aaron, Japes, and Neil, your Circta.

Performers trying to sort of make things work. Oh, God, I just want to say When I bid on this in the auction at my church I knew it was going to be fun But I didn't know it was going to be thrilling as well Okay, enough chichette We need you to kind of You see this poll

Are you capable of Sort of sliding up by being upside down? Just really quick to sign it I'm sorry, I'm wearing kind of a flipper costume there So that's kind of tough. And can you ask? them to sign my book. Hey, would you guys sign this program?

We're not supposed to talk at all. Oh, yeah. We're supposed to be like, just straight up mimes. Can we just toss them into this guy? Yeah, I just, we have sort of the pole set up, but he really needs to kind of... Selfie time. Get up, come on. Did you guys ever see the Oscars that Ellen hosted?

Do you remember the selfie she did? So there's these things called selfies. And I was thinking, maybe we were all 19 in French. I mean, we don't die. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're 19. in French. We haven't seen Oscars or anything like that.

Oh, well, I'm 62 and American. Good. We're going to need to go reverse up the pole. Up the pole, because that's kind of what the whole act is. And we're at the bottom.

We're like, oh, no. And we're like, told them before they did the auction at this church, like, make sure everyone knows you have to have insane upper body strength. Core strength.

You have to be nimble. I feel like, sir, you look like you have a lot of different injuries. You have a pacemaker scar. Yeah. Oh, because I have a pacemaker. Oh, well, that's a relief, I guess. Yeah, and I just want to warn you, my knees are dissolvable.

Oh. So you, just in terms of the sweatiness of your hands, just try to avoid my kneecaps or they will. You're touching your knees a lot. No one else has touched your knees. Oh, because I have this condition called dry hand. Oh. And they get very sandy. You also look recently divorced.

Can you touch my hands? Please touch my hands. Audience, please welcome special guest star for Searches-Holet, Ted from Melanoma, Georgia. Thank you, thank you. Hey, everybody, I've been on this. Somebody take the mic. I have dry hands. His hands are so dry, I can't get the mic out of his hands.

One of my old tricks. We should have given him that mic. That was our bit. We truly lost this. And the only way you can stop me is if you have some water and it can touch my knees. Good try, nice try, doing it.

The floor opens up and it's a huge pool. Damn it! No, no, his knees are dissolving. Whoa. The bottom parts of his legs are just kind of floating away. When I bid on this, the Reverend promised me I'd have a fun time.

Oh, see, that's the church for you. Yeah. Are you having a good time? No. Ladies and gentlemen, please exit the theater and make your way to Metallica at the sphere. My favorite part of that, and this made me so delighted

and then made me so anxious, the Midwestern person in me, the Midwestern brain I have, which is to outright ask someone to sign your playbill and then say, can you ask those to sign it? Because if someone did that to me, I'd be like, oh, I'm approachable, and then I'd be like, wait a minute.

Why are they intimidated by the? the other two. Talent's intimidating. It's a catch-twine two. When we were performing on the Joko cruise, someone flagged me down once, and they handed me a t-shirt, and they said, could you go get the guys

from they might be giants to sign the t-shirt? I was like, oh, no, I'm just a guy like you. I don't know if they might be giants. And I certainly, if I did, I wouldn't waste that cachet on getting it to sign your t-shirt. Yeah, if I have a favor to ask from they might be giants. Hey, guys, could I get a picture? This Latin, and these are still mashup riddles.

This Latin pop star. Ricky Martin. Close. This Latin pop star is perhaps best known for their role as Elizabeth Swan. This Latin pop star. Kristen Stewart is the second one. Oh, Elizabeth Swan. Oh, no, no, no.

I was thinking Bella Swan from, I'm all turned around. Can we give to Aaron for that? Elizabeth Swan is Kira Knightley. Yes. Kira. Latin pop star. Shakira Knightley. Chakira Knightley.

No, no, no, no, no. I wish. God, there are two Latin pop stars. I have to settle for Shakira Weekly. Oh, brother. Oh, brother. Is that, like, the rate that you watch Zootopia? I'm kind of on a Shakira Weekly thing myself.

Zootopia, too, we excited? Yeah. Oh, you're excited. I'm excited a little bit. Was Zooto. Zooto, that's kind of a long break, right? Wasn't Zootopia? I feel like Zootopia, I saw.

the trailer for it before, like, Force Awakens. Yeah, it was like 2016, 17, somewhere in there. Production Pipeline, might. Been a minute. It's also interesting because Zootopia was like 2015, 2016, somewhere around there. And it's a very, like, the whole premise of the movie is like, hey, we're zoo animals, but we're also cops, but we're good cops. And then, like, eight years of history happened, and now they're doing a Zootopia 2.

And I saw the trailer, and there's no words in the trailer. And I'm like, what are they going to do? What are they going to do? How are they going to pull this one? out. After this actor escaped the slums, they started one of the most successful daytime talk shows

of all time. Drew Barrymore. Oprah Winfrey. Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, you got the last one. Famous for taking that selfie. She's famous to take that selfie. That united the entire country that selfie. I remember that selfie. And I'll say this this actor plays a character who escaped the Mumbai slums. That's what I was thinking.

I just trying to think of their characters. Sorry, the actors. Oh, Dev Patelan? Put the whole thing together DeF Patelan DeGeneres Yes Wow Okay That's crazy because I was

When you said Daytime Dog shows I was thinking Regis Philbin And though he's not in Slumdog Millionaire It is kind of about him Yeah true

Yeah it's really about him At the end of the day After he saw that movie He turned to the person who was with And said This movie's really about me And I'll be dead in five years Now, Aaron, we once shared a hotel room

And in the middle of your dreams You kept saying, green night Hey, green night Ooh, green night Well, I have a huge crush on Debt Patel But not from Green Night Green Night gave me horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible nightmares Who's your dream Dev Patel?

What's your dream, Deft Patel in his roles? Oh, I don't want to tell you. Oh, I don't want to tell you that it's Deb Patel from the newsroom Oh, boy. The newsroom. Is he shirtless in the newsroom? What the hell does he do in the newsroom?

I don't want. See, I knew I wasn't safe to tell you about my crush on Jeff Patel in the newsroom. Is there a, I didn't say, is there like a particular real world story that they connect to him, like that, that's the thing on the news room, right? They break the real news, yeah. He won't give up like a whistleblower. Like, so he has to go on the run at some point. Oh.

Which I think was something in the news. But he's like also that he starts as like the one who does social media. Okay. I have a crush on basically everyone on the news. room. Name someone on the newsroom? I got a crush

in them. Not him. But everyone else is the only other guy know for the newsroom. John Gallagher. John Gallagher

Jr. and Debattel. Huge crushes in him. Huge crush. Gideon Yago, didn't he write for that? Great.

Adam to the list. I want to say Aaron Sorkan. Um, I... He probably does a cameo. Does he do cameos in his own work? And he likes to walk and fuck.

He loves to walk and fuck. I don't think so. The, um... Did you hear that the, um, Um, writer of, uh, of, uh, the newsroom in West Wing, like, also married, uh, one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's greatest roles. Aaron Sorkin, Aaron Sorkin, Terminator. Aaron Sorkinianian, Aaron Sorkin DinderCop. Whoa.

That's good. That's actually quite good. Aaron Sork Kindergarten cop. Kind of amazing. That's good. Greatest roles. Greatest roles is the perfect sense. maybe a little stretch on greatest roles

one of his roles for what's the toy one jingle all the way jingle all the way I should have chosen yeah Aaron Sork can jingle all the way that would have fit

that would have done well this six foot seven rapper which I didn't know this rapper was six seven this is impressive this six foot seven rapper is also regarded as the great one Little Wayne Gretzky Yes

Damn Lowell is 6, 7? That's what I had no idea He has that song that's 6 foot Is that is it referring to this The song title or is it Sample Belafonte? Is that 6 foot?

Yeah, yeah Oh so it's like calling a big guy slim Little Wayne is that's the joke Huh? I'm just wondering if the phrasing is just trying to refer to the song And not as actually like to Oh, that makes sense.

You know what? You know what, yeah, yeah, you're probably right. Because that's the name of the song. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I was like, that can't be true. Because she doesn't look, when you see him on camera, it doesn't look 6'7. Yeah, that'd be cool, though, if he did. 6.7 is so tall.

My brother-in-law is 6-7, and it is a whole thing. I think that there's no way that there's a person that is 6-7 that I don't know that they're 6-7. Because we're saying little way that's not 6-7. That's what we're saying definitively here today. I'd be surprised. Yeah, but I think I would be so surprised that I... We're, like, the tall people in the industry.

They say the camera takes away two feet. So it could be one. Jacob Allorty is supposed to be tall, right? I think that's a genuinely tall guy. Okay. I was just reading the, like, Frankenstein preview, and they sort of seem to be. Oh. They were like, we had to totally redo the custom because Andrew Garfield dropped out,

and Jacob Alorty took over. I think isn't Bill Scarsguard, like, six, seven? I think he is, like. All those Nordic actors are. They're really tall. Scars guard or point guard. I mean, with his height. I sometimes think that.

Well, you got it now and now where you've got to think. Blake Griffin acts and some stuff. So, yeah, he's one of the tall guys in Hollywood. He's one of Subway's best actors. Shack was a... Yeah, he was in some things. Yeah, my favorite actor is Shack. My second favorite actor, Blake Griffin.

I gotta say, after a happy go more, too, Boban Mariano. Oh, I was on a plane once with the, what's the guy who plays the giant in Twin Peaks and Lurch and Adam's family? Yeah. That guy. Oh, yeah. That was cool seeing him That is just an instantly recognizable dude That's a fun celebrity sighting

Especially on a plane Because that would be like the most uncomfortable He was coming back from a convention I've multiple times been on a plane Going to or from a city And I'm like wow There's like celebs on this plane That one had that guy on Eric Roberts

It was coming back from like some convention In Minneapolis Another time recently Eli Roth and Ron Perlman We're like going to like Seattle for a convention These are incredible dudes Yeah My favorite part of Cesar

celebrities in person is to see how tall they are. I like need to know for scale. I went through customs next to Christian Bale and I was like, I'm so glad I know how tall you are. That's awesome. Because now I'll know how tall everyone in the movies that you're in. I went through a security line next to Harvey Kaital once. That was cool. That's crazy.

That's awesome. I've seen Scott Khan and oh God, Paul Antman, what's his name? Rudd. Yeah, Paul Rudd in person and both of them are not super tall, but they have very tall hair, like, taller hair than I've, like, remarkably tall hair. Was he, but he wasn't, when you saw him, he wasn't as Ant Man.

Maybe that was, like, what was messing up the size. Oh, my God. It actually could have been. It could have been that. Jennifer Aniston once accidentally hugged me, and she had the wildest head-to-body ratio I've ever seen. Was she tall, though? No, very short, but the size of her head compared to how tiny her body is.

He hugged to Jennifer Aniston-bottle head. I was an extra in... Did you think she thought you were Gunther? He's giving Gunther. Oh, no, no, no, that's not what the... Oh, no. I didn't mean that you were... Oh, no, he stepped in it. I'm joking. What was the...

It was Vince Vaughn, the breakup? I was the extra in the breakup at Wrigley Field, and I was, like, front row of the seats. And as she was walking by, she saw me, clearly thought I was someone she knew, ran up, and I kind of stood up, and she hugged me. and then as she kind of put her head back was like, hey, and I go, hi, thank you, and then she walked on. That's amazing. What if she did think you were Gunther?

You don't look at a thing like Gunther, but she was like, Gunther, and then she's like, why did I think that guy was Gunther? I should have been like, it's funny happening. I was once at UCV sitting in like the under the seats, sort of the little office area, this was many years ago. Smoking a J.A. Door opened behind me because I was also the pathway to the green room,

and someone started rubbing my head. And then I turned to see And it was John Hamm And he was like, oh, sorry, I thought you were Scott Ackerman Like, good to know A peek behind the curtain of their friendship But it's like, Scott's like a foot tall Yeah, he's very tall

Just sitting down from behind a head poking above a chair He must have just thought like Scott slouching, let me That's so funny Well, you've been blessed by John Harry Yeah How much did your life change after you got blessed by him? I've never touched my hair since then

Well, you've been blessed we've been blessed to have the two of you. Thank you both so much for being on the show. Thank you. Yeah, it's been great. And I feel smarter now, too. Yeah. You're going to be served up.

Both of you going to be served up some more Instagram ads. Dale Campbell, Paul Rust, what do you have? We'll start with Neil, anything to plug or promote. So a show I co-created with Andy Sandberg, Digman, is airing on Comedy Central, Wednesdays after South Park. Presumably that will still be true by the time this is released. And it won't be streaming on Perman. Plus until next year. It's just air going

on cable right now. God damn it. Sorry, no one else is mad about that? Make a call. Hey, the life I've gotten used to. I have YouTube TV. Yeah, you can also buy the season on Apple TV or something.

That's what I did. I got the season pass. But Aaron, it does some voices on our fifth episode, which is probably, I guess, already aired by this point, but you can go check it out. It's a very funny show

And people should definitely check it out Season one is all on Paramount Plus So this is season two, every now Season one is excellent too I really really enjoyed season one And I can't wait for season two Yeah And I won't

I guess I'm buying it on Apple As all our listeners have to do as well Paul Ross, anything to promote I said Apple Because I'm just trying to help out Any struggling company Mom and Pop brick and mortars out there I mean hell if you can buy it on Spotify

I feel like we all endorse that as well right You can buy it on a Tesla. I think that you can play it on your Tesla. It's going to do that too. No, Neil and I, we do a show the second Friday of every month, often with Aaron at the Elysian Theater. If you're ever in Los Angeles, come to check it out. It's called Playhouse Masterpieces. It's a real hoot if you like Imbrough.

You might. If you don't like it, you'll also like it the show because we're kind of fucking with the form. A lot of Hay-Riddle-Rid listeners come and check it out, and they loved it. Oh, good. Yeah, it's a lot of, who are some of the regular people in that show? Mike Mitchell and Fran Gillespie. Um, and you, Lily Sullivan does it a lot. Chicago.

Yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Great, great show. Yeah, you have to at least visited Chicago to do the show. Yeah. So, yeah, we have this scanner that can like scan the blood of somebody and see how much hot dog juice is in.

Yeah, exactly. And if that hot dog juice has ketchup on it. And was there a pickle next to the hot dog when you made it? I got to get home because I can feel my hot dog juice blood getting low. It's like I haven't been this low on... I can see it behind your eyes. I know. Okay, we got to end.

I love as a kid going to Walgreens did you put your arm in the hot dog juice testers? And your mom's like, get out of there. 71 over 180, that's a lot of hot dog juice. Jupiter. Bye. Created by Apple, Refined. Starring Aaron Chief. And John Patrick.

Casey Tony did be editing Memory parents in the music Logo created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Napurice One, two, three, four, hey, rid, original catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for eight dollars a month plus you get those ad-free episodes see you there that was a hate gum podcast