Hey Riddle Riddle - #373: The Riddle Inspection

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

We are famously a riddle podcast.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse of being Friday. All right, guys, let's do it.

I'm long, I'm short, I'm borrowed blue, I lie, I help, I stretch what's true. Some call me sharp, some call me dense, but either way, I make no sense. Minions. Aaron, um, Aaron, how are you doing? I am good. Uh, Adel, I was just doing that classic thing that we do at the beginning of every episode. where I read a riddle and we start every episode off with a riddle. So that's correct me if I'm wrong, the riddle we didn't get at the end of last episode.

Because we always end the episode with like, hey, let's like think about this for a week. And then we always, yeah. We are famously a riddle-focused podcast. Start with riddles and with riddles. And so we're just doing what we've always done. So last week when we did that riddle, we all thought we were like, what a stumper? And then what did it add a little idea? We watched all of the despicable means.

movies and all the minions movies. Mm-hmm. And then, I don't... What did you say the answer to this riddle? Was it good? I think it's just minions? Oh, yeah. And I was gonna guess grew.

It's neither of those. No! No. And I do want to just get it. I want to know something in the bud. I just want to kind of get ahead of it. A lot of people are saying, like, isn't your riddle inspection coming up in the next month?

And I just want to say... I have no idea that there's real inspections going on. Huh, was that this month? We've always started immediately. First things on every episode is a riddle. Last thing in every episode is a riddle. We're riddles through and through. Oh, my God.

I'm reading the email now. I guess today's episode is the riddle inspection. Whoa. What? I had no clue. That's wild. Crazy. A quick-dick-dick.

If you don't have a riddle podcast, classically email how health inspectors can show up to restaurants to make sure there's no rats no like ways that people can get sick. That they can't see any rats. That they can't see any rats. Well, again, with

a riddle podcast, a riddle inspector can show up truly whenever. They only have to give you a little heads up and they check to see if they can see any rats. It's actually pretty similar to a health inspection. But that's what we're doing today, I guess. I guess.

I mean, we'll just keep doing what we always do, my beloved friends, who we get along with great. I guess people would also be like, wait a second. Isn't your podcast the one that failed like seven straight years of riddle inspections? Our podcast. And I'm like, oh, I mean, I guess, but like they don't shut your podcast down. Listen, in our logo thumbnail that you might see wherever you're listening to this podcast. And you can find our podcast where you're going to the podcast. Let me just say that immediately.

Immediately. Immediately. Of course, hidden in our logo is a C-minus. It's on the state. Uh-huh. Now, did we take that C-minus and sort of put some purple and gold and filigree and sort of let it soak in to the background? Maybe. I don't think that's against the rules.

We didn't check. Did we pay the $30,000 fee every year we get from the riddle inspection? maybe maybe we owe a lot of money but i guess and this is kind of crazy if we started the episode with a riddle which we kind of do every episode we might not have to pay that 30,000 dollars this year yeah what alice said was stay the course and i agree we get along we do riddles this is all this is all good guys uh all right so now that we got that out of the way um you guys I can, you know, the closet of all of our bullshit that we shoved all of our bullshit in to the beginning of the episode. I feel like it's, it's about to all come bursting out.

No. No. We shoved it in good. Yeah. I don't know. I can hear creaking. You guys, all of our bullshit's about to topple out. That's just air escaping.

Yeah, and I put a creak in there. So that's probably what you hear. Yeah. Well, like a river. Speaking of air, but we should poke some air holes in there because a lot of the characters that we have from the show are in there. Little Monkey Bones doesn't breathe. breathe. J.B. Riddles doesn't breathe. Cocoa Chanel doesn't breathe. Cousinot doesn't Cajbair. Uh, Dr. Camelia doesn't breathe. I actually think most of our characters

have gills. Yeah, they're mostly golems, uh, or fish. They're sort of like, shape of water. Riddle podcast, day of course. Um, the answer to that riddle was, do you want me to read it again or do you have it? Is the answer to the riddle error? Is it one of these things where Like the answer is like, hey, riddle, riddle. It's like, welcome to the podcast. No, but I would say it's probably in some ways on theme for our show. I'm Madel, I'm GPC, I'm Aaron. I'm long, I'm short, I'm borrowed, blue.

I lie. I help. I stretch what's true. Some call me sharp, some call me dense, but either way, I make no sense. Riddles. This also sounds like, minions. This also sounds like what is supposed to be couched within wedding vows, right? or a wedding ceremony something borrowed something blue something sharp something dull

was that yeah I'm sharp and you are dull um it's adult adult oh sorry addle um the answer is an excuse whoa okay yeah okay I can see that I can see that well so Steve Martin let's see Steve Martin I want to see a scene Steve Martin is a minion well excuse oh no the The closet exploded. And I'll have Casey do a little soundscape of a bunch of our bullshit moments falling out of the closet. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Casey, you can figure out how to do that.

Hey, Casey, you don't need to do that. Yeah, Casey, you do. Casey, you don't need to do that. Casey, we'll have fun with it. We say Casey will have fun with it. And then Casey's up until 3 a.m., like putting together a meticulous soundscape. And he's like, hey, I did it. I go, Casey, nobody cares about that.

You've got to take care of yourself first. He's such a perfectionist and it's up to his standards and it's four in the morning. and he's like, why did I do this? And so, Aaron, I have a question for you. Is it fun to do that to Casey? Um, honestly, sometimes. As mean as I am to Casey, that's the kind of thing where I'm like, oh, that's the thing that we don't actually do to Casey because that actually hurts Casey. No, you know what, Casey, here's, no, no, no, let me, this is my counter argument to that.

I don't like doing that to Casey often, but once or twice a year, I think that we should, he's one of the most talented sound editors. so funny. Casey is hysterical and he's not on Mike and sometimes it feels like a huge way to have someone so funny not on Mike. So to give him an opportunity to showcase how funny he is in the edit of something, I actually think I'm happy to creatively challenge Casey once here. Casey, how do you feel? I have ideas cooking for it. Oh my God, Casey, shut up. All I ask is one less seen this episode. See, this is the problem. We like, let's creatively challenge Casey with a panic attack. Let's get to it. I heard this, I heard this story the other day. I just thought I'd share it with everyone here. Great. And editor goes to see a doctor. He says, I'm so stressed out from editing

a podcast. It's just night and day. It's just, I'm so stressed out. And the doctor says, take a break. Go see the great editor in town, Casey, Tony. And the editor says, but doctor. I hate Casey Toaddle And the twist is Donnie Walberg actually killed the doctor Like three hours ago Yeah, so the doctor's just fighting out about it But the doctor sees living people

Wait, how did the shit? Casey, how about this? For the rest of the episode, normally Casey does like a soundscape for scenes We will do that for each other's scenes For the rest of the episode. This is a very special episode where Casey the rest of the episode you're no more okay we you can put all your energy in that one

moment at the beginning so we passed a riddle inspection but we're going to fail the podcast sound for the rest of the episode we just can't we can't win with one of these things here's what I'm going to do here's what I'm going to do I don't need that but here's what I'm going to do I'm saying it now because I'm not putting too much time I'm going to take a couple door break sounds I'm going to take a bunch of like items clattering sounds I'm going to make those pop off right when you say the door bursts, then I'm going to grab one of the best of edits. I'm just going to cut a few random points where you guys are being chaotic from that and overlay them. They're not going to be the specific moments that people think, but you're going to hear your

voices. I'll pan them to a couple different directions. This is good, Casey. Work smarter, not harder. I love this. I don't know, Casey. I feel like I could do that in 15 minutes. I don't know if this is permissible. Can you just, instead of the bursting sounds and clanking and all that, Can you just put in from like the Goof Troop movie or Goofy movie, like the Yahooee? Okay. We are going to have to demonize this episode, though. Is that okay? Okay, well, if you die on your gravestone, it has to be Casey Tony.

He cut every corner. Oh. Okay, if you're fine with that, then I'm fine with it, too. And every bathroom concert. Hey, Eric. You're a person who has mental illness. So what are you doing to Casey right now? You understand what you?

you're doing to him, right? Hurt people, hurt people. And then he'll hurt someone else with mental illness. And that's how the earth works. Are you new here? No, Casey, of course cut corners. As the only person on this podcast that doesn't suffer from mental health, I do have to say, wait a second, what's going on here?

Also, can I really quick, Casey, and I actually would like your backup in this. JPC, are you fucking kidding me? Can you play a montage of how mean JPC is to Casey on a constant clip? Looks over at the riddle inspector. Okay, we're just, this is a bit. I come in and I tease you affectionately. Of course I want you to cut corners, obviously. Love that.

I tease you affectionately and I'm the bad guy. JPC is verbally abusive to you. Look, look, we all have our own little quirks and personalities. But what we don't do is we don't exacerbate our people's things that keep them up at night. Like, Aaron, I would never be like, Aaron, I think you should be 15 minutes later to things. I would never say that to you. That's just me. I'm laughing.

I'm smiling. But, Aaron, I do believe. I'm looking dead in the eyes of the riddle inspector. And this is sort of like a Metallica thing. We're like, we're making a documentary about therapy. There's not a therapist in the room. We're throwing stuff at the wall. No, I, that is such a good point, JPC, because you, I will ask Casey to do a silly thing.

And but Casey, you are such, would you call yourself a perfectionist, Casey? Because I would say that you hold yourself to a really high standard. In certain matters like these, yes. Okay, so you called yourself a perfectionist, right? Adel, he called himself the perfectionist. Hello, hey, Riddle Riddle fans, perfectionist editor, Casey, Tony here from the future. After gassing me up like that, you know I had to do the actual sound design. Come on, you know, I had to do it to them.

Anyway, here it is. Oh, no, the closet exploded. I mean, horny shit, but shit wrong. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, oh. Also, before we get into riddles, and now that you're on Mike, Casey, the four of us saw Jesus Christ Superstar at the Hollywood Bowl this past weekend.

Oh, that's right. But that, we'd mean one month ago, but yes. Oh, yes. I'm up here. What's the bus down? It was happening. What's the most It was fantastic.

We were all very concerned because we were so excited to see Josh Gad as King Herod. But then the Thursday before we went, Josh Gad got COVID. Yeah. Had to drop out. And John Stamos jumped in. Which you're in a city of, I want to say, 99% of the world celebrities. And you're back up to Josh Gad as King Herod is John Stamos. Amos?

It sounds like he knew it and was ready. Also, his wig was so funny. I was a little sad we didn't get to see John Stamos because that would have been a blast. He looked like Uncle Baby Billy played by Woffer Guggins in Wright's Simpsons. To a point where he looks like that and we all thought, oh my God, Gagins would have been the best. Guggins would have crushed. But Gad got better and we did see Gad.

And Gad, I got to say, Gad brought it. He was great. Gad needs a day of Stamos to be at his absolute. best yeah yeah he thrived on that he was riffing he was riffing left and right mad man he was breaking the fourth wall in the best possible way threatening to give uh jesus covid like kicking his feet and yelling stamos every time oh man what do we all think i well i sent out the tickets randomly and i wish i had been more careful about it because i ended up next to jpc okay okay and again this is just sort of a fun game we play.

No, here's the issue. This is a compliment. JPC is so fucking funny. And he kept pretending that he thought every celebrity and every old person in the audience with John Radsenberg. And he kept going, is that John Radsenberg? And that was making me laugh. But then when we were at the night where there was a mic issue at the top of Act 2.

And JPC said full volume, stay in it guys. Like the coach? And I was laughing the rest out of the show. It was so fucking funny. Because there is a mic issue. And at one point, look, it's very choreographed. I heard that they had, like, a pretty grueling schedule to, like, do this thing. But also, it's like, Jesus Christ Superstar is, like, not the most, you know, character or choreograph-heavy show.

So when the mic thing happened, it kind of just felt like everybody on stage was kind of just hanging out. And I'm like, there's nothing to stay in. Like, they're, like, maybe Jesus and Jesus. That's why it was so funny. They were all sitting around the table for the last supper. And you were like, stay in it, guys. Yeah, be here. Be in this moment.

Very minimal staging. basically just like risers for the set I thought the show was phenomenal but yeah very very minimal sort of production what would you all give it out of ten I had a ten out of ten good time I mean I'd never been to the Hollywood Bowl before 10 at 10 good time

seeing Cynthia Revo live I think is transcendent I think it's just something everyone should try and do she's incredible and I think kind of miscast as Jesus though Oh please Jesus was a white man with blue eyes We all, we've all seen the pictures

I don't care if you want to make Jesus black I don't care if you want to make Jesus a woman and I don't care if you want to make Jesus gay but 5-1 She's so tiny Next to Adam Lambert as As tall as he is Adam Lambert 6-1 3-inch platforms

It was crazy their height of I'd say 5 inch platforms Dude that guy was on stilts Jesus Christ So we all loved Arrivo Lambert who's incredible I think we agree that The, I always want to say caliphate.

Who's the guy? Caiaphus. Caiapus's little sidekick. I got to look up the name. His salacious crumb. What would you do with that Jesus and Nazareth? That little, that little, that little country guy. And Aaron, what did you say?

I said, I love that little guy. Who's that guy's name. What did you say, Aaron? I was like, oh, that little country guy. That's like, I fucking love that guy. If anyone knows that actor, I fucking love him. Oh, he was incredible. really anise oh erin i believe that's john ratsonberger jbiz the character's name is a n n a s honest

onus uh kaiaphas and anus were like my two favorite parts of the kaiaphas was great they gave him a little head tattoo uh which when i saw the actor and he didn't have the head tattoo i thought honestly man big guy bald big beard you could rock the head tattoo the head tattoo was working for you Yeah, yeah. I would give it a 10. I've seen a lot of productions, and I love Judas's parts. Every other time I've seen it. I've been a big fan of it.

And the fact that this, like, Adam Lambert's voice is crazy, but the Jesus parts and the show were, I'll never get over what it felt like watching her live. I've never seen anything like it. And I'm also so glad that we all got to go together. Yeah, that would have felt like such a frustrating thing if I had sat down and we hadn't organized that. I'm so glad we all got to go.

I was on the very end because of the layout. Oh, closest to the ice cream. Shut up. Closest to the guy who played Jesus in the movie. Ted Neely. Was he in our section? Yeah. Yeah.

And I was next to Janet and Zorp, who both had not seen the show at all. And so that was very exciting to, like, be in the presence of two people who every time, like the guitar is wailing or somebody is belting is also just like blown away that this is a musical, you know, and that was very cool. I do agree that Gassemone, which is like Jesus's big number. Yeah, huge. That's, that's a great song. That's always been a great song. And if you think of my favorite things up, I had one riff from Gassemone and one riff from heaven on their mind. So there's like two of my favorite songs. But her version of Gassemone, I was weeping.

I was like openly. When I looked over at Usorp and Janet during that number, I've never, the three of you were like puddles. It was so sweet. It was insane. And, and like the thing, it's like, I'm, look, I'm atheist. So it was not like religious. It was just like the emotion.

Her acting was so incredible. And her voice was so incredible that it became. like a transcendent religious experience. I know, after that, people are like, Jesus actually, it's a pretty good idea. Yeah. Janet said, what did Janet said? She said, I get how people felt about Jesus or something, which I thought was a really powerful way putting it. All right.

I just like to say, as a kind of point to that, I have kind of the opposite take about Jesus. Because every time I watch Jesus Gray Superstar, first of all, I don't even think Justinin is a good song. I think it's a really impressive vocal performance. Yes. And to watch Cynthia do, I mean, it's like a hard song. Like, even me who doesn't sing knows that that's a hard song.

So to watch what she did with it, you couldn't, I mean, she got like a huge standing ovation. You couldn't help but be impressed. But watching Jesus Christ Superstar, every time I watch it, I am taken by how much of a little bitch Jesus is in that musical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Truly, Judas is right. Judas is like, hey, what are we fucking doing here? And Jesus is like, you guys don't understand what's going on. Your little pea brains are too stupid.

And at no point in the musical does he ever say, here's the plan. all he ever says is like get with the fucking plan you guys are dumb you don't get it and it's like hey Jesus maybe take four minutes to just kind of explain shit to these people they seem pretty willing to follow you

I love that because I love that it's like that line delivery of hey Jesus is so funny I've never heard it before uh hey Jesus like hey Arnold but it's it's a very I love the musical but it's like it's so frustrating to watch Jesus be Like, I am literally smarter than you.

I know what's going to happen. No one else knows what's going to happen. And that pisses me off. And it's like, just tell people. That happens to be, this is why it was 10 out of 10 experience. I think it was an 8.5 production for me just because I feel like you, you need a, and I said this at the night, Adam Lambert's voice was incredible. He sounded fantastic, second only to Carl Anderson in that role that I've heard. And his acting was so bad and so cartoonish that you should come out of Jesus Christ Superstar,

seeing both the flaws but valid perspective of each of the characters. It's supposed to be a complicated human story. He was kind of playing Judas like the devil. Yes. Like he had like a little devilish grin to his face. It was unlike I'd ever seen even where like, especially the way they did Superstar, the song, where it was like mocking. the whole time that was that was really weird to sum it up i think uh cynthia was playing jesus and

adam lambert was playing adam lambert like he was not i loved his voice i don't know him for for anything but i just think he was like whatever he is that was what it was i was just watching a man be himself i don't know him from adam lambert uh one quick thing one small thing i just want to mention before we move on one of my favorite parts was during this sort of i don't i've never read the bible this sort of like den of inequities where it's like people are It's like the marketplace where Jesus slips to tables. It's like the temple. It's the temple.

Thank you with the money lenders, I guess. But it's like there's like ammo and drugs and all this stuff. I love that they had all that on stage. But it was also done with the patina of like a horny magic show. Yeah. And like it looked like a pretty cool party. There was a lot of like people partnering up to like give a like give illusions, but in a fuck way. And like there was a guy literally holding a bong in front of his penis.

People were holding bongs in front of like bong. Oh, he wasn't. the show. They would make themselves bongongs and then they'd like suck their own like they'd yeah it was really it's really such a tonal shift I mean it was I thought it was very funny I the last thing I'll say is that hypothetically I maybe partook it an edible and it's the best timing of any drug ever taken because it literally hit during the overture when it Cynthia came out during the bum, bum, bum,

bum, bum, and I was like, yes! Aaron took twice as much or three times as much of an edible as I did and then tried to the whole show convinced me I was out of my mind high.

I kept sending Adel videos being like, dude, whoa, you're so high. I'm like, I think you're driven more than I am. Oh, I was tripping. The Rital Inspector is giving a side eye right now. Uh, no, no, I was fine.

Everything's fine. Here's some riddles. Okay. Oh, also, this is from Molly's riddle book. We still have that theme. It's time for Molly's riddle books. A new Molly riddle book, by the way, that we got, the LA Live show. When Gertrude entered the plane, she caused her own death in the deaths of 200 people.

Yet she was never blamed or criticized. for her actions. What happened? Gertrude is a kajju? Yeah, Kaiju. Godzilla type. Not this time. Gertrude is like a Mr. Magoo ass pilot.

As pilot. Oh, is this my sandwich? Is Gertrude like a duck or like a goose or something? Ooh. Yeah, went to the engines? Yes. Gertrude, a goose had been sucked into the jet engine. I would like to see.

But wait, wait, wait. Before we see a goose had been sucked. scene, did it not also say that nobody blamed Gertrude for it? Well. Dead people don't blame? When a goose gets sucked into a plane, you absolutely say like, that's what happened, right? I know, but you don't think like the goose was, like, did it on purpose. Okay, okay.

I guess, yeah, you don't blame the goose in that way, but you do say, you do like literally blame it on the fact that a goose got stuck. Okay, got you. I'd like to say it. I've changed the scene I want to see now. I understand. If anything, they murdered a goose in its own home. That's true.

You're in the goose's house. Yeah. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you're a goose who brought down a whole plane and you're drinking at a bar. And Adel, you are one of the family members of someone who's on that plane and you recognize him at the bar and you go to confront him. Yeah, so we've been doing okay, but it's... Can I get another four good singers over here? Oh, my God.

No, no, no, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look. Who is it? Naked. That's fucking him, isn't it? That's one of the geese. You should say something He's counting on you not saying something He's counting on you being too polite

This is good What is this? This is well This is good Carol hated when I was confrontational But you know what she's gone You know what You're gonna regret

Excuse me Excuse me Hi Oh Honk Honk I guess What the fuck? What the fuck?

That's our word That's our word That's our word Hold on You're the I'm not the bad one here Oh yeah You just walked up to a goose and said honk, honk.

Hey, gentlemen, take it outside if you're going to fight, okay? Yeah, let's go outside. Let's go outside. I'm actually, that's actually where I live, and I'm not ready to go home yet. Well, that's actually where I fight. That's where I work. So let me take off my jacket here, Canadian down. What the fuck?

Canadian goose coat here. Goose feathers in the lining. Everything I buy now is goose feathers. You're wearing a goose feather jacket around me? yeah that's right thank you I got paid huge money for that what we're very well paid to put the feathers

that kills us yeah feathers are like your skin or something come on no man feathers are not like our skin so this is like when I give a sperm sample tell him that he's playing like that you're

tell him it's your hey what's your woman saying no I have an annex card for this exact moment I knew this day would come Webster's dictionary defines revenge hey man if you're chick has something to say to me

Wow She can say it to me Oh Carol Punch his goose in the face Oh Jokes on you man You hit beak

Your hand's a mess Oh let me try to hit you right in the stomach Like Houdini Whoa three eggs came out I'm a male goose Yeah Oh those are testicles Oh no

Seed Go to a doctor now. Three testicles pop out of a noose. Is that a red hole? Yeah. The inspector's giving a thumbs up. Two men went out for a drink together in a bar. One of them looked up.

Yep. One of them looked up saw a tall, dark stranger looking like death and drinking soda water and pointed him out to his companion. Startled and uneasy, the two men left and went to another bar some miles away. After a few minutes, they, looked up and saw the same sad, pale stranger drinking soda water. Deciding to leave, they went to a third bar, which was empty except for a young couple. However, within a few minutes, the cadaverous man appeared and in a slow, sad voice ordered a soda water.

Almost out of his mind, one of the men went over to him and said, who are you and what do you want? What did the man answer? And this is an insane one, is your hint. Did the guy answer and Aaron, stay with me? Okay. Did the guy answer, I'm following you because you called me cadaverous in the parking lot. And that's the rudest thing I've ever heard in my life. So I just wanted to see how you live.

No, that is, that would be reasonable. That's not the answer this time. Did he just say like, who are you and what do you want? Did he just say like, I'm Bob and I want a soda water? No. Okay. Aaron is, are they, is it triplets or something or is just the same man? No, it's not the same man.

It's not one of those. It's not the same man. Sorry, you're saying it's not the same man each time. It is the same man. It is the same. Okay. But it's not, yeah. Is this like a person who has that, like, face blindness thing where he just assumes

that everyone, that's not him or not a young couple is a, like, cadaverous man? No, not this one. Is he a historical figure? Is this Abraham Lincoln? No. Is the person living? Well, okay, I would be, my feelings would be so hurt if I was Abraham Lincoln right now. and he's waiting for someone to buy him a shot he's like someone will recognize me

brain's out the front of my head big beard you would buy him a beer but to buy him a shot oh you don't want to have fun with lincoln if i'm no i just it's totally inappropriate it's like buying like john linn at a shot like you don't want to give you jesus a cross i'm buying lincoln a shot i know and then i go you'll you don't know the irony of this yet because you're still alive. I think Gagermeister. In my mind, this is zombie Lincoln because he's cadaverous. Okay.

Okay. If he's not dead yet, then buying him a shot is totally fine. If he's already been shot in the head, it's a little like on the nose. I want him to get loose. I do want to see a scene. Yeah. Let's say that JPC, you are Abraham Lincoln. Aaron, you are a time traveler who has gone back in time to try and save Lincoln's life. You've been trying to blend in to not great effect.

and this is the day where you finally approach Lincoln to warn him about his fate. Oh, where are my spectacles? I know I put my spectacles. Right here, Mr. Lincoln. Oh, thank you. Oh, you're new here. I've seen you around.

I'm sorry, I don't know your name. Betsy. America. You know, Lincoln, I've been thinking, didn't mean to rhyme, that's sort of fun. It's Mr. President. Mr. President. Four score and seven years ago

You became president Of these great United States No, wrong I'm nervous You seem nervous Yes You're one of my new AIDS, correct?

Yes Well, thank you for very much I'm sort of doing a calculation Of my brain right now If I grab your hat And go back to the future I'd probably be worse A good amount of money, huh?

And then I could live off that What? Or I could keep you alive I don't know. Why would you think that? How would you prove it? I think someone could like carbon dated or... All right, well, I've got my spectacles, so thank you so much.

No, no, no. Betsy America? I would say... Where are the rest of my staff, by the way? I killed them. Oh, boy. I would say... All right, Lincoln, think, think. Any weapons in the room?

Think, think. Don't go to a play. And we flashed for it in time. to a classroom. And so kids, that's why we celebrate our greatest American witch, Betsy America. Now, of course, Betsy America did kill all of Lincoln's cabinet. What else did Betsy America do throughout the years? Someone else? She went back in time to try to kiss JFK. That's right. She spent three years and $2.8 trillion of the government's budget to kiss JFK. Now, at first, people were upset, but given that Betsy America was the only person with time,

permissions. We all just had to cope with it. Who else? Who else has something they know that Betsy America did? Oh, I know that Betsy America went back in time to the time of Thomas Jefferson and the Louisiana purchase and she negotiated herself a 10% finder's fee. That's right. So she was like Rockefellers, like the Rockefellers and the rest of Carnegie's combined. Even though the deal would have gone through, she made like $4 million. That's right. So she profited off being first witch. Of course, she also went back in time to try and kiss a stegosaurus. She went back in time to try and kiss anyone and everything imaginable.

Didn't she go back in time to kill baby Hitler in the cradle? But then she changed her mind and just had kind of a lovely day with him that didn't affect the... No, I don't think she did that. She helped raise him. No, I don't think she did that, Zane. What is the answer to this riddle? Oh, yeah, this is the man of the war. He's the cadaverous man.

Okay, Aaron, is this man dead? No. So he just looks cadaverous. You're going to die the way that this man is not dead. I'm going to die. You're going to die, but the fuck. Everything is fine. There's absolutely no reason why this man needed to be as sickly as he was.

Like, there's absolutely nothing in this little connected to him looking so tall. Is this a process server? Is he like one of these people who's like following them to like sort of paper? No. Is he a private eye who's investigating someone who's cheating on their wife? No, but this is like... Is this like a bud-like cardboard cutout that's in all of the bars? No, but, you know, that is...

The way that you should be thinking is keep in mind that these guys are really drunk and maybe a little out of it. Oh, okay. Oh, I didn't even know that they were drunk. I thought they just kept moving bars. Is it Halloween and these are all, like, decorations of Dracula? No, he's not Halloween. Is this man following these two people? In a way.

He's connected to them in some way. I wouldn't call it following. Oh, he's... Is he an employee of theirs? That's the closest. He's getting paid by them. He's getting paid by them. So, yeah, my guess was that he was like a bodyguard or something or like a driver.

Oh, he's the driver. He said, I'm the taxi driver who's been driving you from bar to bar. Nice one, Japes. Wow Taxi driver Shouldn't go in the bar Right Stay in the taxi

Yeah if I see my taxi driver Drink it Okay that's fair Yeah it is He is drinking soda water But also I guess Yeah

I guess This is an old Aaron can you give me a publication date On this book Oh yeah By the way This book is called Infuriating Lateral Thinking

Proverbs Yeah that's infuriating Because here's the thing With that riddle 1997 97 in 97 were you telling the taxi driver to like leave the meter running so you could go into a bar and drink that's definitely something we're not doing nowadays no one's telling the uber driver to not take another fucking like uber ride that's crazy wasn't 97 the year where clinton went on or sineau

hall to play the saxophone and then betsy america showed up and smacked it out of his mouth well you know what we should do we definitely did that we go on take a quick break and reflect on all of the things that Betsy America has done for this great country. One deep for your take break to break. JPC, you know how not too long ago Aaron was a car. We don't really need to dwell on it. Sometimes you're asking yourself weird things like, why didn't they teach us this in school?

I feel that way almost any time I'm dealing with money. Amen. Famously, I'm very bad with money. Famously, you're very good with money. That's why I'm giving my kids, aka my cats, a head start on their money skills with acorns early. Now, if I know your cats, they're going to take those acorns, put them outside your door, and then feed them to squirrels so they can watch squirrels going outside of your door. But children, human children, they're very different.

They have different learning patterns than cats. We're getting wildly off topic. Aaron used to be a car. That's why she's not here. But that's been resolved at this point. So we don't have to worry about that. Mostly been resolved. Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up.

This is something that I am going to be gifting to friends, that I myself, hopefully one day will be gifting to a child and, again, to my cats. Start with the in-app chores tracker. Teach your kids or cats the value of a dollar. Then let your kids set up their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early. And you could maybe be like, hey, let's set a goal. that you save up to buy, I don't know, like a car one day? Yes, because it is legal to buy a car. Yes.

Even if it is or was a human at some point, because if it's now a car, it's fine. And there's no laws against that. Plus, kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with Acorn Early's spending limits in real-time spin notifications, parents always stay in control. I have played around with the Acorn's early app. So it's still a little early for my child, but I really love the features.

I really love how, like, simplified it is. I actually think that it, like, can make learning about money fun and engaging. And I think that those are very important things. It's also really important to, like, demystify, you know, the money, you know, money isn't something that's, like, you know, dirty or dangerous or something. And it's just like a tool like anything else that we use to exist in society. And I think that Acorns Early is a great way to introduce children to that. Absolutely. Hey, JPZ, do you notice, even though Aaron's not a car anymore, that sometimes when she sneezes, it sounds like room?

Yeah. And sometimes when she, not to be indelicate, farts, it sounds like con, comes gas. Passes gas. It sounds like hon, com, con, con, con, con, con. Yes. And that I immediately want to get, anyway, ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save and spend. get your first month on us when you head to acornsearly.com slash hey riddle or download the acorns early app. That's one month free when you sign up at acornsearly.com slash hey riddle. Acorns early is issued by community federal savings bank member FDIC pursuant to licensed by Mastercard International free trial for new subscribers only. Subscription fee starting for $5 per month and less cancel term supply at acorns.com slash early terms. Aaron's not a car. Take control of your money.

Jealous much. New coat, new shirt, new pants. Addle, you didn't get those from the emperor, did you? No, I think that guy was actually not wearing any clothes. I knew it, and everyone says he was, and I knew he wasn't. I felt like I knew he wasn't. Interesting, now my experience with the emperor, his clothes are awesome. Adel, your clothes look fantastic. They look like very expensive.

That must have cost you an arm in a light. No. Actually, we don't pay with limbs. We pay with money, but this was actually very cheap in terms of money. This is from Quince, my good lady. I love Quince. Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear nonstop. Like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

Touch, please, touch. Starting at just $60. That's bonkers. $60. Their denim is durable and fits right. And their real leather jackets bring the clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag. I have sheets from Quince. I got a skirt from Quince.

I love quince. On the walk over here, wearing Quince, a bunch of photographers were like, who is that guy? That's clearly like Tom Hardy's little brother, like Nathan, Nathan Levi's cousin or something. Taller, younger brother. And what makes Quince different? Well, they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen so you get top tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands. And middlemen are flipping out about it. I saw a middleman on the phone in a parking lot tearing the hair out of his head. He was so mad at Quince. Is he okay?

No, he looks really distressed. Personally, I love my lightweight hoodie. I think it's like perfect for the cooler weather. It's like it's kind of the in-between hoodie that you can get between like, you know, a fall jacket and, you know, your summer clothes. It's, it's awesome. It's like a must-have staple of my wardrobe. And I got my eye on some boots at quints for the fall. Just a tall boot. I haven't had one of those like riding boots in a minute and I'm excited. I might get them in blue. or maybe like a chocolate color. Come back to me. Come back to me. Sounds good, friends, puts on sunglasses. So keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. Addle, I have got Aaron on a joke website. I'm about to sell her chocolate boots. I think she's going to walk around. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I will stay and watch this.

Mom, yum, yum. Eats them like cookie monster. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, I need to find a better solution than what I've been using. I've been going up to this character that's sitting at a booth that it's like free advice for five cents. She's being like really mean to me. And then I tried to like kick a football and she moved it and went, are you joking that? It's so embarrassing.

And I feel like that's not good therapy moving. forward. I need to find a better solution. Oh, Aaron, you can't be doing that. You've got to do what I do. You have to whisper your secrets into a rock and throw the rock into the ocean. Huh. Or do what I do, which is use BetterHelp, which I think is probably the best option. Oh, yeah. Okay. Don't talk to a rock or talk to somebody at a five suit booth from what sounds like a comic. Talk to an online therapist at BetterHelp. Yeah, Aaron, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over five million people globally.

It's convenient as well. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life, I assume, plus switch therapists at any time. And BetterHelp's quality therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. They're not going to move the football on you, Aaron. Aaron, they won't move the football or they won't throw the rock back.

In fact, they've been told specifically not to throw any rocks. Hmm. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences in their 10-plus years of experience and industry-leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist any time to your tailored needs whenever. Whenever. And as the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Find the one with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash riddle That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P-com slash riddle. Hey, Adel, can I tell you a secret? Yeah. It's me. I'm in the booth. I'm in the booth.

Nice one. Well, I'm going to go back to the booth and try the football one more time. I'm going to let her have it this time. I'm a letter to have it. Hey, Rital Brinkle. Hey, we're back with more of Molly's Riddell book. It's time for

Ma these rid of the books A man and his wife went on vacation. Two months later, the man called the police to report the location of a body near the place where he had been on holiday. The police thanked the man

then asked why it had taken him two months to report the body. What was the reason? Is this like a Santa Claus situation where it was like early November, the guy saw Dead Santa, the guy put on the Santa suits that I can't let the kids down,

fulfilled all the orders to kind of turned into Santa. You're reading this verbatim. Do you have the same book in front of you? You know what the worst part about this riddle is? I know we've done this riddle or something so similar on the podcast before, and I just don't remember the answer.

But it's like, it's, I have it very, clearly in my mind that I, that I, like, should know this because I've had to guess it before. I think we've had something similar within, like, the first 50 episodes of our podcast. I vaguely remember something similar to this. That sounds right, because it sounds so far, it sounds so far away that I'm like, oh, boy. Is the, is it something to do with, like, the dead body always looked like, like it was in a sleeping position? Like, somebody died, like, on a beach chair or something, and it just looked like they're

getting a fan or something. he's on a honeymoon right that's on vacation he's on vacation two months later the man called the police to report the location of a body near the place where he had been on holiday is he on holiday with his wife or uh yeah him and his wife went on vacation that doesn't really matter okay and it's not his wife's body right no okay so why would he dolly telling for two months and is it a human body did you say that yes it is okay is it uh is it something to do with this man had to wait like a two month period for something else to happen in his life before like he like he was on he was on like parole or whatever and he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't keep in mind this book was written in 1997 that is helpful okay so the man was blind he went to us huh keep going he went to australia with a seeing eye dog but in austral in australia they have to quarantine your pets for like two months oh Aaron I know what I'm it is, we have had it before, he had to get the photos developed. He didn't know that he saw the body until he got the photos developed. That's very good. I want to see a scene. Adel, you are going to be developing photos. Maybe people don't know. When you were developing photos, the person who developed the photos got to look at all the photos before they were developed. And Aaron, you are picking up your photos. And Adel, it's very obvious to Aaron that you have looked at these

photos. Hi, how can I? Hi. Picking up? I have a photo pickup for Maureen Embridge, please. What was the name again? Maureen, E-M-B-E-R-S. Yes, yes, yes.

Okay. Here you go. Sorry, were you guys laughing back there at something? Oh, yeah. We were just thinking of just like what Dilbert gets up to. There's no one else there. so typically we have doubles you know like when you're just laughing about what dilbert gets up to do yeah because he's always in the back that you were laughing about that with yes they're on they're

they're they're just off um off screen in movie terms um so uh usually we have duplicates of all the photos but you might notice that some um our duplicate machine has been i'm gonna i'm gonna close that i'm gonna close that and go home are you cool closing alone because you're the last one here Yeah. Last one here. Wink, wink. Sorry, my boss has been a real goof. Are you the only two people who were here right now? Yeah. So you were the one laughing with him about Dilbert and what he's been up to? I came from behind you. Come on, man. Huh.

Just like Delbert. Classic Delbert. Always walking up behind somebody at the water cooler. You're the manager. Yeah, you're the manager. And we've spoken before. And I told you guys it was two strikes with my photos. And if any of your employees look through my photos again, I'm. bringing my business somewhere else. Your embers, embers, correct? Yeah, Maureen Embers. Yeah, Maureen. Well, we have to look through the photos just to develop them, but I can assure you,

Jeff is our best photo guy, and he didn't do anything. No, our duplicate machine is broken. So we have one machine that makes the photos and then one that makes the duplicates, if that makes sense. It's real technical, but I've never seen you kissing your own hands to practice. Never. That's exactly what's in the photos, sir. Lucky guess

And doctor patient confidentiality or whatever You hold on HIPAA She's lying You went to go see a guy named Dr. Patient Confidentiality What is he Greek? Oh my gosh

See this is what I'm saying This is an invasion of my privacy Yes I have a big kiss coming up And I wanted to practice You also have a butt hole in your neck She has a butt hole in the middle of her neck She took a photo of it

That's why she stands with her neck to her chest How dare you ma'am you please raise your neck ma'am please raise your neck no oh my god oh my god it's happening if what jeff says is true

I have to I have to kick you out of this how do I not have a camera for this moment I'm getting out of here and I have to give you a lifetime ban if what Jeff says is true I'm taking I'm leaving I'm leaving no show your neck I'm show your neck or everything you've said up to this point

makes you a liar I'm leaving okay I'm leaving you're free to go but ma'am I just have to say, the police are waiting outside. Wow. You're under arrest for having a bottle on your name.

This man's name is Jeff Hanson. He is a, he is a, he is a, to catch a predator on you. Cop. Well, he's not a cop. Oh, whoops. Jeff Hanson is not a cop. You guys, I'm going to zoom out from the scene and look at it on a table. Where did we go wrong?

I want to bring in a scene quality control person. You tell me exactly where we went wrong. Studying the scene being like, it looks like it was perfectly executed. It follows every formula. Oh, boy. I love Aaron your character being so indignant. And then as soon as they brought up your neck,

you're like, I'm just going to go. I need to go. This isn't worth it. I do think that when Aaron was so insistent, ongoing i was like well now we can't let her go we have we have to make her stay we simply must next riddle in what place would you find julius caesar the biblical rachel king david palace athena the goddess of war king charlemagne alexander the great queen elizabeth the first of england and sir lancelot all together hell hornhub dot com slash history

Oh, my God. Okay, Aaron's going to Pornhub.com slash history. Okay. I'm going to need 40 minutes. There's a lot of family guy. Brian? It's a lot. Addo's a library.

I think that's a pretty good call. I like that guess. That's not what the answer is, though. I mean, this is tough because this could be a lot of places. I was thinking encyclopedia. No. This is almost like. a fact that this is a this is not almost this is a fact that i did not know and i'm finding very

interesting can you give us the rundown of these people one more time julius caesar biblical rachel king david palace athina king charlemagne alexander the great queen elizabeth the first of england and sir lancelot they're all in i want to say like a family tree like a genealogy uh-uh damn uh is it they're all like entombed in the same area or given no celebrated it some sort of, okay. This is actually a fascinating fact. Like, I'm 100% sure this has never crossed my desk, and I haven't heard it before. They're all in hospitals in terms of, like, Dave-inspired terminology.

Cessarian. No. Julie Caesar. That's not what that is. That cannot be what that is. Is it? Yeah. Julie Caesar was a ripped from his mother's womb, but was not given birth to

vaginally. And so it's called a caesarine. Are these popularizations of the dish salad? I believe you said Julius Caesar, Joseph Wedge. Can I get the Athena Cobb? Athena Cobb. Um, no. Rachel from the Bible.

We were on a break. King David. The picture, like, what these people kind of look like. They all have those little thin, golden Olympic things. Oh, yeah. Those little crowns. Yeah. But they're like a backwards quarter crown, or like three-quarter crown, right?

Is it that? No. Okay. I think I'm just going to tell you. They all have statues. They all... Jewish? No.

No. Okay. Athena, very Jewish. Oh, there is hands in this. Their images are found together in one common place. Coins? Nope. They are found on something which is in common use and has been for many years.

Common use. They are used in a form of a game. They've all been outlines for the NBA logo? That's so funny. That's so funny. I'll tell you where they are. Rachel from the Bible doing the Michael Jordan like outstretched duck thing.

On a pack of playing cards. The original designs for kings, queens, and jacks are based on these characters. I would like to see a scene. That's amazing. Wow. I had a idea. Uh, Adel, you're a Vegas dealer and, uh, JPC, you are playing blackjack and you are dealt one of the cards and you think it looks so much like you that you start accusing the dealer stealing your likeness.

Okay, that's a six. Hmm. Six, showing a six. Uh, hit. Yeah, that's a 16 with, uh, jack clubs. Where's Denny? Where is he? Yeah, 16's tough when the dealer's showing 18, so I know.

Where's my friend Danny? Where's my buddy? I'm not sure, sir. This is, I see what you're doing here. Me? This is a picture of me? I'm sorry? The Jack Club is a picture of me.

This is a joke deck. This is a real casino. No, this is our standard Caesar's Pallas deck. this is your standard deck we can get sir we can get you a free drink if you just calm down and stop being weird first of all I'm not being calm

agreed second of all where's danny I know he put you up to this I know it's a trick deck look at my profile look at my look at me in profile okay single loves chocolate oh I'm sorry I leave that out on the table

hold on hold on look at the profile of my face and look at this jack of clubs this is me this is a picture of Me. Sir, there's a passing, a passing likeness, but I would never say. So you admit it. Okay. Sir, I'm going to bring in my pit boss.

Great. Mr. Worldwide, I'd love to see him. I love to meet him. I know you want me. I know what I want you. I know you want me. I know you want me. I had tickets to your shirt later.

Sure. It's nice to see you now. I took a sheer sure later. Sure later. Welcome to verbally. All right. All right. If this isn't me on Jack of Clubs, if that's not me on Jack of Clubs, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, punch, punch, punch.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm getting beat up my, oh, no, I dropped my goose eggs. He's going down. The bigger they all, the heart of them all. He's big a lot of them all, same. It was your friend Denny. I was going to be your friend Denny at the end, pretending to be pit, pitiful. But you were pit bull, and you punched the goose eggs out of me. Exactly.

JBC, Casey, pull out your bingo cards. Who had Aaron knowing the pit bull wrap during Keshe's timber? That's my center square, actually. That's centers. Bigger they are, the how do they fall? That one? Yeah. Timbering the bow and big of a ball.

Twirking in their bra and thong, timber. Faced down, booty up, timber. That's the way we like to, what? Timber. Thicker than an oil spill. I bet you won't. as you will. Swing your partner round and round. End of the night. It's going down. One more shot. Another round. End of the night. It's going down. Here's the thing. If I'm at home and this song comes on my Spotify free playlist or something, I'm like, skip. If I'm at a wedding. If I'm at a wedding, holy shit, I'm like, yes. My paddle's eyes go completely black. He's in the middle of the dance floor. And he's just swinging. If you try to skip timber, if you're like, hey, Siri skip song, Siri pops off with, like, like nice try i'm sorry are you trying to skip timber well what's wrong do you need me to call

someone for you you're trying to skip timber the emergency contact thing pops up it's like do you want to done sir did you fall down you're skipping timber do you not want a party did you fall down and the corner of a stair hit your spotify fast forward your uh skip no okay he's crazy this guy's crazy clear also i don't know the lyrics to anything but i know the lyrics to that so brain is uniquely broken um john was colorblind because of his affliction he landed an important job what was it because of his affliction he landed an important job traffic light operator nope christmas denier christmas denier that's very funny can't see greener

Happy holidays. He went to war on Christmas. Okay, so he can't, he, colorblind traditionally is red and green, right? I believe so. And they can't be, they can't be pilots. They can't, right? You can't be colorblind and be a pilot. You know a lot of jobs that are unavailable to you because you're colorblind,

but this is a job that he gets specifically because he is colorblind. I don't see color. Oh, does he work for the Obama administration? Did he cure racism? Yes. In America. Legally, I can't see color. Okay, so it's some career.

Yeah. Aaron, can you read it one more time just so I can hear the phrasing? Thank you. John was colorblind. Because of his, because of this affliction, he landed an important job. What was it? And this is one of those, like, weird historical facts. Oh.

Okay. Okay, so this is like a real thing. What would someone whose colorblind be especially equipped for? Okay, so is this like a thing where he got like Battlefield Command because he couldn't see the blood or something on the uniform or some shit like that where he's like a general? This is a surgeon. John Adams.

John Adams? I know him. Okay, is this a famous John Aaron? No. Okay, so we wouldn't... I feel like you guys have kind of been circling this. Is this... Oh, sorry.

Go ahead. Is this same thing to do with, what is it called, CAPTCHA? Oh, yeah. Because sometimes those have, like... Yeah, I would say that. I'll accept that. That's so close. John was employed by the Air Force during war time to detect camouflage enemy positions

from aerial photographs. Camouflage is designed to fool people with normal vision. People who are colorblind are much better at spotting the differences in texture and Shading in a landscape. All right. Let's not say Aaron, pretty gross. He's a normal vision.

Oh, please. Also, Paul Bettney is rolling in his bed. Paul Bettney's rolling in his bed. Damn, jealous. Who's he in there with? You'd love to be in that bed. Well, he's normal vision, but then there's also, I want to say, Hulkbuster vision. Hulkbuster vision.

We're going to do one more riddle, and then we're going to do a voicemail. And then we're going to apologize. to each other. Oh, okay. And Paul Bettney? Yeah. And people who are colorblind. A woman was sitting in her hotel room where there was a knock at the door.

She opened the door to see a man whom she had never seen before. He said, oh, I'm sorry, I have made a mistake. I thought this was my room. He then went off down the corridor to the elevator. The woman went back to a room and phoned reception and asked them to apprehend the man who she was sure was a thief. What made her so sure? Aaron, my dear.

You don't knock out of a door. It's your room. So, I'd like to see a scene. Adel, you're saying in a hotel room in JPC, is going to knock on the door and pretend that that is his room. Knock, knock, knock. Babe, did you order a room service? I did not.

And I still need a couple more minutes of space, okay? Lisa, you can just say no. I did not. I did not sound, you're not, this isn't a deposition. I'm sorry, we're in a fight. Knock, knock, knock. You always talk like legalese when I, Did you do?

I did not. Just say no. Well, I'm sorry. I don't really want to be warm and casual with you right now. We're in a huge fight. Huge fight. Knock, duck. Just a minute.

Probably the guy at the reception. I felt like he recognized me. Hello. Oh, uh, hi. Hi. Hi. Can I help you? Are you? Oh, this is my room.

Are you cleaning the room or why? No, no, I'm in my boxers and a zip-in t-shirt. Yeah, I can tell. Yeah, this- What's going on? This, I'm 378. This is 378? This is 378, but I, I think, this is sort of like, do you ever see social network?

Lisi, are you in there? Who you asked her? Hi. Okay, what the fuck is my wife doing in that room with you, man? Wait, why'd you say hi instead of like, yes, speaking, this is her? Well, we're not in a fight. Lisey, what the hell is going on? Who is this guy?

He is my friend from work. What? Oh. Oh, my God. I thought the worst for a second. Oh, shit. No, no, I'm not living in a double life. Okay.

Hey, sorry, man. Well, you must have spilled something on your clothes or something and had to take him off. I got the takeout. Oh, I spilled. I don't want to say that. Thanks, honey. I'll grab the takeout. Okay.

Sorry, man. catch your name. Are you joining us for dinner? Oh, we have work stuff to do, honey. So if you want to come back later. Who are you calling honey? Me, I hope. What's... Why would you be calling you, honey, man? You're from work.

Why are you wearing a wedding ring that matches my wedding ring? This is a yellow gold wedding ring. She's going to shut the door. Shutting the door. Oh, you're going to the bathroom to eat? Click. Interesting. Okay, well, she's going to the bathroom.

She does that sometimes. You must know from work. On the count of three, let's say how we both know Lisa. Hey, real quick. Yeah. It was kind of contentious in here when I came in. Did you guys have a work fight or something? We had a big fight about...

What was it about? About Led Zeppelin. Oh, no. You got to fight with Lisa about Led Zeppelin? She says houses of the holy... Well, no. Well, Lisa knows Led Zeppelin pretty well, so it seems to be a problem... She doesn't.

Physical graffiti is their third best album, and she says it's... Houses of Holy. I think you should probably apologize, you know? I mean, that's... Do you apologize to Lisa when you're in a fight? All the time. Fuck. Yeah, it's kind of what makes me such a good partner.

Lisa is scaling down the side of the building. She went out the bathroom window. And wait a minute, I'm 6'5, and you're 5-6. I have a big bushy beard. You have... Tine a little mustache. See? All right.

We're going to do a cool. voice mail theme and then voicemail Oh yeah, Casey, hit us with that voicemail theme Voice mail Uh huh What? That was sick. That was Gabriel. Gabriel sent that in and said, it's a loose cover of a song called Death's Dynamic Shroud, which I've ever heard.

Shroud's sort of a loose cover. Yeah, Shroud is a loose cover. Thank you. If you want to, hey, if you want to submit a voicemail theme, go ahead and make it 30 seconds or less. A wave file is preferable and send it to you Hrrrpodcast.com. Nope, H.R. Podcasts at gmail.com. That's the email address, not like a fake website or whatever. But thank you for that. Gabriel, Casey, can you place a voicemail? Hey, my name is Jamie Stanton, and I'm looking for a new middle name.

Currently, it's Elliot, and before that, I tried out gray. I'm non-binary, so I'm trying to find something that's gender neutral. So let me know what you think. I will be legally obligated to have this name, so it's a big responsibility. Thank you so much. Bye.

Oh, okay. Anytime I hear Elliot, I just think, Elliot. Well, look, I'll say this right off the bat since we were talking about it earlier. Your name is Jamie Stanton. You're looking for a middle name. You go with Christ.

Suddenly you're JCS. You know what I'm saying? Whoa. Whoa. Jamie Stanton, superstar. One for one. It's a one for one. It's a one for one.

I think since it's a middle name, you can do something hilarious. Yeah. Okay, Aaron, now go ahead and say what that is. Say one, hilarious thing. Did they say their name, their middle name used to be gray? Gray and Elliot. What about, help me. What about Einstein?

What about Monster? Betsy America. What was her name? It's the America. I think Ribbit is a cool middle name because it's a sound of frog makes. Oh, yeah. Bonk. What about moo?

Bonk. Zoink. Zoinck. Zip-deps op. What else? You know what I try to do is I would try to tailor a middle name to the name that you have. So you have Jamie Stanton and you want something that kind of flows in, you know. What about Willow?

Willow. I like that. That sounds like Jamie Willow Stanton sounds like. profound author or like a um like famous assassin yeah so you have options of what your career is and you could go by j dub of course a dub for w i think also they said they're non-binary i think willow is a perfectly acceptable non-binary name as well i think we nailed it it's willow it's it's also a tree oh that's better name yourself tree tree cut all the names.

Cut Jamie, cut, stand. Chesco, my tree. My name's tree. Prince Madonna. Tree. Tree. But not spelled how you think. If you want to send us a voicemail, it's 805 Riddle 1.

Make it 30 seconds or less, guys. We've gotten a lot of like 45 second, one minute long voicemails. They're never getting on the show. 30 seconds or less. Use a timer. Adel, anything to plug? I want to plug a couple things. I want to plug our new podcast.

with Anthony Birch from Dungeons and Daddies. It is called Gums Shoes and Dragons. It's been an absolute blast to work on. Our first episode with Brennan Leigh Mulligan is out. No, all three episodes. All our first three episodes are out now. Check those out. I'm very, very excited for that show.

Also, Hello for the Magic Tavern is on tour. So you can see what dates are coming up and buy tickets for that. And, hey, Riddle, Riddle will soon be on the third leg of our tour. So please buy tickets and see where we're coming. as well. Aaron, anything to plug or promote? If you want to follow Quality Time on Instagram, it's my monthly variety show I host here in Los Angeles, and

we'd love to see you if you can make it. GPC, any review to read or anything to plug? Again, I just want to plug the Hey, Redo-Riddle tour. We're coming back. The next leg of it is going to be Atlanta, Nashville, and Denver. And the first Nashville show is sold out, but we

still have tickets to the second Nashville show. And Atlanta and Denver are also getting kind of close. It's kind of, the last of it is getting hairy. And then in the fall, we already sold out Boston. So apologies if you didn't get your Boston tickets. Maybe there will be some people who can't go or whatever releasing tickets to check like Reddit and Discord and stuff like that. But I'm excited for those fall dates as well. You know how we've been doing on the last year of touring? Whoever's hosting kind of has everybody else wear costumes that are fitting for the city. I'm hosting the first night in Nashville, or the first show in Nashville, I should say.

And I thought about making us all wear chicken onesies with lingerie on top. So it's hot chicken. Is that fun? A hundred percent. I already wear that most nights. And Aaron, I apologize that I say that you were chicken lingerie just because you wouldn't tell me who your big crush was while you were wearing lingerie. And Aaron, you say that your chicken lingerie. And these are your words, Aaron.

I'm not saying they're my words. You say your chicken lingerie is finger fine. fucking good, right? That's exactly what I said. I'll take full credit for that. Those are not my words. All right, Jupiter, everybody. Up on with that.

See you next week. Created by Apple 35. Starring Aaron Chief and John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. Now are he parents in the music. Oh, created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Napura. One, two, three, four, hey, rid,

the rich, rich. I'm Colonel Sandals, and I say it's finger-fucking good. That lingerie is, finger-fucking good. That lingerie is, come on down to KFC lingerie. Our lingerie is... Fing a fucking good. Fucking good. Hey there, sasses and squatches.

you are going to love this week's Patreon. We go on a cryptid hunt. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month, plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.