Hey Riddle Riddle - #374: Rat Kebabs

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

Listen to this episode and really take a minute to sit and think of what your Transformer name would be and what exact vehicle you'd turn into. Me? 'Sassparilla' and a 2001 Chrysler PT Cruiser (with the wood side panelling). Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse of being Friday. Oh, J.B.C. Aaron, good morning.

Beautiful day to be camping, I think. Good morning. I also, I agree. It's a beautiful, oh, Erin. I know that yawn. Adel, I know that yawn. Somebody wants some camping coffee. Yeah.

How'd everyone sleep last night? Cowboy coffee is what they call it. I make it just like the cowboys. Make it. Huh, you're putting a lot of beans in that coffee. And I don't mean coffee beans. I mean, like, those are pinto beans? Those are pinto beans.

Pinto beans. Cowboy beans. Hmm. This is like half chili, half coffee. It's not bad. Half. All right. Let me take that back.

A couple more pinto. A couple more pinto. Yeah. This is chili. Tilly, aka cowboy coffee. Huh. J.B.C., where's your tent? I see Addle's tent.

I see my tent. I'm roughing it. Oh No bad Is that a sexual name? Yes Usually I thought you guys wanted to do

Like camping I didn't know you guys wanted to do like Oh camping We're gonna be camping I thought we were camping You were like sunburned to all hell Yeah you're like burnt to a crisp Well no I'm some kissed

Cowboy kissed So it's just cowboy kisses JPC It sort of feels like you didn't remember We were camping And now you're just sort of trying to make do with what you had on you. Yeah, last night you said,

sure, I have a sleeping bag, and then you pulled out a box of Ziploc bags. Yeah, something I carry on me. My sleeping bags. Because I love to stay organized, even when I'm asleep. If I didn't know we were camping, would I have brought all of this wax to make candles?

Well, you do always carry those Halloween-style wax lips with the fangs with you? Yeah. You say you never know when you need them. And now we can make candles. I guess you need them. I guess you're like Icarus. You, well, you stayed out too long in the sun, clearly, but also, um.

All right. So what you're saying is I showed up with my comedy wax slips, my zip-block bags full of chili. And no camping gear. And you're too stubborn to admit it. Because I didn't know we were. That's what you're saying. Yeah. That's what you're saying.

That's what you're saying. And Adel and I came very prepared. We have all this camping stuff. And we'll share with you. You just have to ask. I just have to admit that you forgot we were camping. Spit the chili back out. You guys don't deserve my cowboy coffee.

Spin it back out. What are you doing? Swalled it minutes ago. You don't deserve these pinto beans. These are organic. These are the good pinto beans. All right. Mother's finest.

What's that? Eat the ones that we just spit back out. Eat the beans. Cowboy coffee's not for eating. It's for sip them. Sipping on a lonesome range. Whoa, where do these horses come from? Oh, those are wolves.

They're invited. Uh-oh. Those are wolves. Uh-oh. They want the chili. Protect yourselves. They're wolves and I'm at Orafi. I'm JPC.

And I'm Aaron Keefe. And we're all, the three of us are like wolves. Yeah. If our tour poster is to be believed, we are like wolves. A woo. That's true. A woo. A woo.

A woo. A woo. A woo. A woo. A woo. I, um, I watched sinners last night. My God. You finally.

I finally watched sinners. I finally watched sinners. Okay. It was so flipping good. Hmm. And I loved, it took, I feel like it took a lot of, um, big swings, which I really enjoyed. There's a scene where if you haven't seen sinners, I hope this is not any sort of spoiler.

It's been, it's been a few months. It's been a few months. I feel like people who haven't seen sinners. There's a scene where a musician is playing and there's sort of this, um, ethereal shot of like musicians, uh, lineage ancestry, music. I won't spoil more than that, but it's just really well done. It's really cool where you see like the history of history and future of music, of certain types of music. And I felt like it would be very funny if there was like a white person in the dance scene and they show the future of that.

And it was just like a girl with a solo cup being like, woo, woo, woo, just sort of raised fist pumping in the air. I thought that would be funny. My culture is not your costume. Woo! No rhythms. Woo! I don't think I had heard the term woo girls until maybe 2020 or 2021. But as soon as I heard it, I was like, that makes so much sense.

That is such a perfect term. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, there's some woo girls over at table four or something. Woo! Yep. Yep. The awo made me think of that. Awu girls.

Okay, a wolf's girls. Maybe there's something there. Writing down a wolf's girls, we'll look at this in maybe two months. We'll not know what the fuck it means. Aaron, what is, so in Shewolf, at some point, Shakira sort of limply goes, ooh. Limply. Right? It's not full-hearted.

It's like a, ooh. She's not putting her whole. Yeah. She's like, this is a placeholder, and I'll get back in this studio. Her whole heart behind it, Aaron. Yeah, she's a. I just want to make sure I just want to make sure

heart was Because you took a second Because I was going to say She didn't put Because I was going to make a joke about She didn't put her whole hips behind it Because your hips don't lie Nobody's

Everybody's hips lie though Right you know You got to be beyond They don't tell the truth either They're hips In fact One of your hips always lies And one always tells the truth

Oh, Aaron's old-ned puzzles today. No, I'm not. Lizzie Borden took her hips. No. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Is there two things.

One, we simply must get Aaron you singing She Wolf Freight, or I'm sorry, whatever that song is. Look, and I remember so small. Whenever, whenever. We simply must get your version of that sort of mumbled into a remix of the actual song. And then is there another example of such a, a vocal powerhouse doing something like that where it's like oh is there a moment where

adele is like um what's an adele song perfect what's there is there a moment where adele gets up to the bike and she goes what's an adele song uh oh what's one of my songs uh have you seen when she enters in adele contest oh yeah it's really cute it's really cute all those all those ladies are so happy to see her it's so You know, that's, that's a thing that, isn't that the old joke like Charlie Chaplin and the Charlie Chaplin contest and got third place? Where I, look, I understand it. But at this point, we're just doing it to make the video, right?

Like, we're not. Oh, yeah. I think let the people who want to have their, like, contest have their contest. Don't go into it. But, you don't insert yourself into it. If you, if there's a lookalike contest for someone and you're trying to win, what? Which one would you win? Which look-alike contest, would I?

Oh, like how they did the Timothy Salomey one in Washington Park or whatever. They did one with the guy from the bear in... Jeremy Allen White? Jeremy Allen White, but they did it specifically the character for the bear, whose name I can't remember. I want to say lip, but that's his other Chicago character. Carmi? Carmi.

They did a Carmi one in Grant Park, I think. which you know what I don't know if I could ever win a lookalike contest but multiple times in my life people have been like bro you look just like my friend or like my cousin or something and then they have showed me a picture of a white man with a beard sometimes wearing a hat and I say yeah I guess so yeah I guess so you could do a cousin lookalike contest I could look I could I could do like a guy on the train's cousin lookalike content and I would I would win if the guy's comes cousin is the one who's judging the contest, I would win. But actually, maybe I wouldn't, because once he sees enough other people who are

like white guys with beards and hats, he'd be like, oh, shit. Do I even know what my cousin looks like? Do I even have a cousin? Do I have a cousin? What's in a Dell song? I think you can win a Captain Hook like contest or a Wallowice. But not Walloichi? But not Wallowooge.

No, I believe he's based on a real guy. You. Yeah, Rasputin. Oh, you could win a Rasputin look-alike contest. I don't know. I don't, do you, I don't think so. Look him up. Look him up.

I think Rasputin looks like very different. I think it looks kind of more, I want to say Russian, longer hair. Maybe if I got a Rasputin wig on. I'd hire you to play him in a movie. Now, that's a different thing. Um, but I, uh, playing someone in a movie, you don't necessarily have to like look just like them, right? Although, I guess not.

I am a fan of, uh, when someone like does like a biopic and they cast, they cast someone and you're like, how is Sebastian Stan playing Trump? And you're like, how's that going to work? Because then you see it and you're like, okay. That's not bad. It's not. It'll look. I wouldn't be like, is that Trump?

But I would be like, okay, yeah. Good job Hollywood makeup. Was it the Was it called Dylan The sort of bio No the Sebastian Stan movie Where he plays Trump It's not called Dylan

That's stupid I think it was called Dylan Where it's like All these different celebrities Played Bob Dylan In different parts of his life Yeah it was like What is this?

And then I saw it I was like that was cool Like Yeah And this is us pitching our movie Where all three of us play Rasputin We all get a crack at it I'll play post penis

That's it Post penis can still get you No it can't No we can't We found the one We found the one But we also

It's also pre It's not post It's a pre I know But that's why it's a funny fucking joke That's why it's a joke For post cum

Yeah Postcom can still Get you pregnant Postcom is a Serial brought to you by Hey you know what If there's free cum If there's precome

If there's precome they should If there's precome They should have Postcom That should be on the video I love somebody sitting down to eat a bowl of postcom And then somebody barging and go Stop, stop, Gary, stop back, don't put that down What?

Grab your go back. Grab the kids, it's time to go. It actually makes the breakfasts unbalanced. It unbalanced is the previous breakfast you've had. All right, well, Adelor, are we going to do riddles today? Yeah, this show is unbalanced unless we do some riddles. So let's put on our Do we have thinking caps?

Are we through those out years ago? Yeah, those are gone. Oh, those are gone, gone. Was just remembering Adel songs. What are your guessing pants? That's, contractually, you can't ask me to do. Okay, slip on your solve socks? Okay, I'll wear soft socks.

Aaron? Yeah, Aaron, comfy on my feet. The itch. Can we make sure that they're more comfy on Aaron's feet? Yeah, let me cut the toes off here. Let me ask you guys a question, especially with socks on feet. Are you, now, Erin, you live in, like, sunny, sunny, freaking California. Do you wear socks most of the time?

Because if I live in California, I feel like I wouldn't need to wear socks. Like with my shoes? Well, no, because most shoes that require socks. But, like, do you wear more sandals because you live in California? Are you more a shoe person? Yeah, probably. I mean, especially, like, when it comes to walking loose. I just wear brokenstocks outside to slip them on.

And in Chicago, I had, like, knock off ugg boots that I would slip on to walk loo. Yeah. I think if I didn't live in a place where there was, like, winter, I don't know that I would ever wear socks again. I think I'm a much preferable. You're not a socks guy. But the thing is, I am a socks guy based on where I live. But I think if I lived in a different place, I'd be done with socks. Do you sleep in socks?

No. That, to me, is like, that's a wild thing. That's a sensory nightmare. sleeps in socks but her feet she has like really cold feet like her circulation doesn't hit her feet and I run hot so I guess if I didn't run hot I would sleep in socks too I do like somebody in Chicago coming upon this conversation and be like socks fan how do you think robert's doing this season it's like no no no no no no bombus erin were your knockoff ugboots called oofs yes I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure that's the sound that you make when you

step on a rat in Chicago when you do not work socks. Ooh. Let's get to some riddles here. Here's our number one riddle. And they're going to get progressively worse. The police found a murder victim and they noticed a pair of tire tracks

leading to and from the body. They followed the tracks to a nearby farmhouse where two men and a woman were sitting on the porch. There was no car at the farmhouse and none of the three could drive. The police immediately arrested the woman. Why?

Hmm. I don't want to say. So dead body, they found tire tracks to and from the body. They followed the tracks to nearby farmhouse. On the porch of the farmhouse were two men and a woman. No car at the farmhouse. None of the three could drive. I don't know how they found that out.

The police arrested the woman. Why? Are like the two people, the two men, are they both dead? That's a great guess, but that is not the situation. Is it like a tractor? No, but Aaron, you're, you are headed down the right path, I believe. So it's like, it has to do with what the type of tires are. I was also going to say, are the two men incapacitated anyway?

They're all like, they're not like blind or like that they couldn't drive a car or something like that. Or like they all three couldn't drive a car. But, but yeah, the two men. It's not like immediately obvious that, wait, all three of them can't drive a car or like, Like, don't know how. This is the hard part because it just says all three can't drive, but they don't say, like, how they found that out or what that pertain. So just, I think just there's no car and no trace of a car is maybe a better wording of this. But I will say, you kind of asked about the two guys and if there's anything you would immediately recognize about them.

Not for the two men, but for the woman, yes. Oh, she's a transformer. She, Optimist Prime. She's Optimist Prime. She's a jazz. She's a bumblebee. She's a bubble beat. I'd like to see a seed.

Adel and JPC, you guys are best friends and you're out of bar. And JPC, you're trying to just gently let Adel know that he's definitely dating Optimus Prime. Got it. And then we went down, is that Hillcrest? We went down Hillcrest. Yeah, Hillcrest. And people were just kind of like, whoa, like that's awesome. That's so cool.

And then I hopped off of her back. And then we tried to go into Tiki Tis, but it was a little. Hold on. I guess I had the story confused when you started it. What do you mean you hopped off her back? Like she was giving like a piggyback ride or? Yeah, sort of. Like a really fast piggyback ride.

Like a really fast controlled piggyback ride. So we go, we try and go into the bar and we see Devin in the back. And we're like, Devin, like, kind of like. Oh, shit. I was Devin forever. Yeah. And then, and then Stephanie, well, because she's like, you know, sometimes she's like 10 foot four and sometimes she's like 5'3. So she's 10 foot four.

She bonked her head on the door. I'm sorry. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm trying to track the story, Brett. Who's Stephanie? The girl I'm dating. Oh. Okay.

Yeah. Stephanie. Yes. Sometimes 10-5, huge shoulders. Yeah. Okay. Mechanical voice. Stephanie.

And her last name is Megatron? Or? Because you've been just calling her Megatron. I'm not sure if you knew that. But, like, you know her. She's a Megatron fan. She loves futuristic motorcycles.

I'm all caught up. Yeah. So she's in the bar. You see Devin. Yes. Mm-hmm. But that suddenly, somebody behind Devin apparently is from space. And they start to sort of unfold into like a million little contraptions, electronic contraptions.

So now Stephanie's running around blast, like punching them, crushing them into oblivion. She shoots up into the night sky. Sure. With her rockets. and I'm and I'm yeah no I with her rockets okay yeah no I'm I'm I guess I'm following um did you do you not like Stephanie I mean I've never met her feels like you don't like her I would really appreciate just give her a chance I feel like you've been weird towards her since the since the beginning yeah no and she's coming today right yes okay yeah no I mean I'd love to

meet her I I I told her to meet us here because last time last time we went somewhere for dinner We all got inside Stephanie. Yeah. We went to very nice of Adelaide place. And then you were like, your eyes were wide the whole time. So I told her to meet us here so there's no weirdness. Okay. Wait, so.

Drive through a wall. Yeah. Hello. Hi, baby. Hey, baby. Are you ready to go? Oh, you got some oil on your cheek here? Mm-hmm.

Hey, Brett, before we go out, before we go out, could I just talk to you for just, like, one second about something totally unrelated. I'll be over here by the jukebox. It is time for you to decide who you are. Hey Brett, hey Brett. She's always saying that. I love that about her.

Hey man, I know that you're kind of like love struck right now, but like Stephanie, like I think she's cheating on you. Come on. No, like I saw her making up with a motorcycle. Well I don't Snitches get stitches

Just a quick reminder Remember who you are Tosses you into space Well Through my friend to the moon Babe, you're crazy Should we go dancing Yes

See it I realized about I don't know 30 seconds in I don't I've never really Watched Red Transformers I don't really know

What a Megatron is So I'm like Rockets, I hope, jumping to the night sky. Also, I remember Optimus Prime has like a cool voice, but I kind of forget how it sounds. It's James Earl Jones. I don't know if that's true. I know Optimus Prime. He's the one that turns into a Mac truck, right?

And some properties. And he's good or bad? He's good. Megatron is the place that they're from. Optimus Prime is an Autobot and the bad guys are called Decepticons, which I have to say is the funniest part about the Transformers because they're a toy. And so they're like, bad guys, decepticons. But when they have to put it into a movie, they're like, yeah, our group is called the Decepticons. And we're fine.

We're like, we believe we're good guys. I'm like, if you join a group and your name is the Decepticons, you have to believe that you're a bad guy. You can't be, you can't think your intentions are pure. You have to be like, I truly am a bad guy. I am a Decepticot. Yeah. Who's the main, so Optimus Prime is the good guy. Yeah.

Megatron's the planet. I thought Megatron was the main villain. Who's the main villain? Oh, you know what? Fucking Megatron might be the main villain or, uh, yeah, Megatron is the main villain. Okay. But I, wait, also Megatron might also be the planet that they're from or the planet's something else.

I did just watch that Transformers animated movie. Oh, yeah. It was, and it's like a prequel, um, uh, but it is good. It's, it's fun. It's well, uh, I think animated is like definitely the medium for that. Like, I don't, I don't remember any of the other transformer movies being good. and I don't know that I saw any of them. I saw the first one, maybe, but they're very Megan Fox heavy.

So do with that what you will. Aaron, are you familiar at all with the Transformers? I watched that first one, and then I don't know. I don't, I love that video of that woman saying, doing her pregnancy announcement with the Transformer at Universal Studios. That's my favorite video right now, because the Transformation, Transformer whips his head around like it's his. So that makes me happy.

So that's sort of how I feel about the Transformers. Does that answer your question? Yes. There are a lot of funny clips of that improviser. I assume it has to be all improv interacting with Disney or Universal Guess. Yeah. James, what were you going to say? I think that Mark Wahlberg is in those Transformer movies too, which is just like one of the things we're like, really?

Like, we had nothing to say. We had nothing to say in this movie. So we just put Mark Wahlberg in it. That's a really good point. Yeah, whenever I see Mark Wahlberg in a movie, especially, like, in the last, like, I don't know, 10 years, I'm like, okay, so we were out of ideas for this one. Yeah, you have nothing to say. Put him in the movie. Yeah, I don't know.

Fuck the Transformers. I'll say it. I don't care. I don't think we've solved this really yet. No, I solved it. Okay. I'm done. If you think you know the answer, put your hand down.

Tiger tracks leading to and from a dead body. The detectives follow the tie tracks to a nearby farmhouse. Three people on a porch, two men, one woman. They arrest the woman. Hmm. So, it's a tire track. You were right to think of a different type of tire, basically, or a different type of vehicle. Oh, it was a wheelbarrow.

Oh, Aaron, you were unbelievably close. Unbelievably close. A bike. A wagon. Stick with that first word you said. Wheel. The first part of the word you said. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

A wheel. Unicycle. Um, tricycle. But, but say the word. Wheel. Wheel. And then something else. Wheel.

So not a wheel. Yes. Cartwheel. She's in a wheelchair. She was doing cartwheels. Uh, she was in a wheelchair. Cybertraw. We have handprints, then footprints and handprints and footprints.

And then someone clearly wiped out because I got dizzy. And then handprints and footprint. Well, it was clearly a regular man in Subalba. Yes. I remember it's Cybertron is the world and Megatron is the guy. Truly a bunch of stupid bullshit. That's confusing. Yeah, right?

Cybertron and Megatron. Yeah, that's way too confusing. Yeah. That's like Aaron, your name was Earth. There's Earth and Earth. Okay. Yeah. Okay, never mind.

Air, that's yours to do with, if you please, legally. Let's do another riddle here. Okay. William was the least intelligent and laziest boy in a class of 30 students. They all took an examination, yet when the results were announced, William's name was at the top of the list. How come? William was the least intelligent and laziest boy in a class of 30 students who took an examination,

yet when the results were announced, William's name was at the top of the list. Is this name like William Aronson or something like that? Yeah. William's name was William Abbott, and the results were given in alphabetical order. So pretty quick riddle. I want to see a scene. So in this scene, I'm going to be a teacher. And I am, we've just gotten the classes' intelligence tests back.

And I am going to be handing out the intelligence tests to the students. Cool. All right, everyone. We have the state mandated. Aw. I don't know why. Well. Relax, Jeff.

Relax, everyone. We already took the state-mandated test. We just have the results of the state-mandated intelligence tests. It has come back. Of course, they use this for funding because that's kind of where we are as a country right now. Mr. Jeffries, you said if we didn't embarrass you'd give us a pizza party. And I don't smell pizza. Is it coming?

Is it close? Is it soon? Is it here? Courtney. Is it soon pizza? Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.

P-I-Z. P-I-Z-A, P-I-Z-A, P-I-C-A, pizza. First of all, I said that we could-P-A-P-A, pizza, pizza, pizza. Oh, is that the hamburger? I said we could do a pizza party at the end of the year if everyone graduates. Hold one second. I'm sorry? No, don't try to spell it.

Did you mean to type, glad you ate? Jeff, why don't you come up for your intelligence test? All right, Jeff. Oh, no. Yeah, buddy. You got a seven. Out of seven, congratulations. Thank you so much.

Woo. Smartest man alive. Smartest man alive. It's not out of seven. It's not out of seven. It's not out of seven. Speech. Four,

Shore, and Jersey, then seven. Mm. Jeff actually did the best. Jeff actually did the best out of anyone in the class and you got a seven.

Oh, sorry, Jeff. Man. That's so, My parents are going to kill me. Courtney, you're up next. Woo. Courtney.

Get them, Courtney. You are one of the many students in class that got an incomplete. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Lucky. Not thank you, Courtney. Because on the intelligence test... I'm going to college, y'all.

Couldn't possibly. On the intelligence test, you were to fill in A, B, C, or D. And Courtney on... Well, now we're getting to it. You did one. one D and then you wrote Eat dish pizza and then you wrote Pizza pizza pizza pizza for the rest of your

Is it coming? It's not coming. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. P-I-Z-A. P-I-Z-A. P-I-Z-A. P-I-Z-A. Pizza. It's not, guys, pizza. Pizza has two Zs, okay? And no teas, by the way. No, I want pepperoni on it.

Did you know that pizza comes from Mattel of the Hun teacher? So sometimes the teacher can be the student. Okay, I'll move right a lot. long, uh, Richard, Richard, oh my God. Um, Richard, you got a 178. Hmm? Out of seven? No.

Out of seven. Again, it's not out of seven. He's such an idiot. He got a 178 at a seven. What a loser. What a loser. Guys, Richard, Richard is not a loser. He's not an idiot. Richard is, I actually don't even know what. The class hamster is a loser. A loser. The class hamster is a loser. Richard, are you here? Yeah, he's on his wheel He's on his wheel

Okay, Richard was given a special pill by a scientist And it's actually really sad Because most of the other Richards End up dying And getting less smart Oh, that's why we had to read flowers for a girl nun Yes All right, why don't we do this?

Why don't we call school off a little early today? I take you all out for pizza I thought we were going to read the crockables. No, we're not going to read the crockables. I'm going to put you in my car. No, we're going to drive way out into the country to have country pizza. Cowboy pizza, they call it. Come on.

We all get so good on our test. Come on, let us do it. Yeah, okay. Everybody in the car, except you, Richard. I'm going to let you out of your wheel. You run free of the smartest hamster that ever will be and ever will is. Oh, I scooched my desk over and I hit Richard. Can I go to Harvard?

Richard's gone. Yeah, Richard's gone. Yeah, you can go to Harvard. Courtney, Jeff, you both go to Harvard. Yay! And those two people became Supreme Court justices. Courtney became Clarence Thomas. Jeff became Clarence Thomas.

Can I read about the Cruckable? Oh, so good. Oh, man. So, so good. Well, we solve that riddle. Why don't we, let's do one more here before we take a break. Why don't we give up? Why don't we just stop?

A ship sank in perfect weather conditions. If the weather had been worse, the ship would probably not have sunk. What happened? A ship sank in perfect weather conditions. If the weather had been worse, the ship probably would not have sunk. What happened? And I will say this is a seemingly a historical factoid tidbit. A ship sank in perfect weather conditions.

Hmm. My mind went to like Titanic. J.P. Z? Yes. Your mind was right to do so. Because then they would have been more careful or whatever in the rain. Aaron. Hundopi. The ship was the Titanic, which hit an iceberg on a fine night when the sea was very flat.

If the weather had been worse, then the lookouts would have seen waves hitting the iceberg or heard the iceberg. This is in quotes, icebergs make groaning noises when they move. Unfortunately, the iceberg wasn't seen, and the rest is history. I do want to see a quick secret. Wait, wait, wait. I think that that's not to quibble, but I do think that that's actually wrong. I do think that, I don't know when this riddle was written,

but I think that they have since said that because of like whatever like the weather pattern that was happening at the time the Titanic sank, it made the like sea reflect off the night sky so that like everything was pitch black, basically. It was as black as the sea because of some weird like pressure or heat like pattern that was happening on the water, which they're saying is maybe what caused the Titanic to miss the iceberg and hit it and sink. So when I said Titanic. There is something. There is pressure of the sea. That's why the, that's how you sound. What do we have a bunch of class hamps? Go to the Supreme Court. I'm not dealing with you, Courtney. Supreme Court. Now. Now. Oh, man. Listen, we're a bunch of class hamters on

smart pills or whatever, eating flubber. But I do want to see a quick scene. Okay. Based on the fact, icebergs make groaning noises um the two of you are icebergs and um you just saw a movie and you're kind of uh sort of picking it apart um that was super

fucking offensive uh yeah this is PG 13 they have sex in that car insane what if a little kid saw it what the fuck also like we're the villain like We have feelings, too.

We're the villain in that movie? Oh, yeah. I mean, that was, what, like two hours in? But absolute fucking bullshit. Like, icebergs get just, like, such a bad rap. And then, obviously, like, that guy is the villain. And then, you think that guy's the villain? And then, what's his name?

The actor. Oh. Uh. He played The Phantom. Oh, God. Oh, oh, ugh. I always want to say. that it's Bill Pullman, but Bill Paxton.

No, no, no, no, no. Wait, are we talking about the same guy? The guy who talks to the old lady, the treasure hunter? The villain, the one who, like, gets on the... He's the villain. What's he doing in the ocean? Billy Zane. Oh, no, I liked him.

But, like, I thought he was going to be the villain the whole time, and then it turns out the iceberg's the villain? Wait a second. You saw Billy Zane as the villain in that movie? Oh, I liked him. What? Oh, I liked him. I thought personally my villain in that movie were the people that were still playing music as the sick sip ship sank because I'm like, um, this is my house.

You're basically playing the stereo loud in my house when I'm trying to sleep in the water. Pyle, I don't know if I want to do a second date. Sorry, what was that? Here's two waters. Oh, good. Do you guys mind ordering pretty quick? A lot of people are super uncomfortable. I'm going to take mine to go. Okay, that's for the best. Wait, what?

Just because we're icebergs? I never said that. Wow, wow, wow. That's what you said. That's what you said. And also, I have a lot of feedback about the salad choices on this menu. That's some bullshit. We use iceberg lettuce.

Whoa. Our culture is not your costume. Our culture is not your salad. Well, let's take a break and recall the salad days of the show. We're right back with more riddles. One, three, four, hey, riddle, Richel, Ritchell. Marco!

You guys had to say Polo so I can find you. Oh, I'm sorry, Aaron. I thought you were looking for your friend Marco. Why were you crying before if you were just playing Marco Polo? Well, I miss my friend Marco, but now I want to play Marco Polo to cheer myself up.

Oh, okay. Marco! Polo. Found you. I found you. Oh, found. You found Marco just like found is a business-making platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices, and prepare for taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals. I'm sure you and Marcus would open up a business. Marco. Control spending with different. He would have loved this.

Oh. Yeah, she also didn't find him, you know, because he's still missing. But Aaron, you know what's not missing is all of the great features that found offers. Oh, and by the way, other small businesses. are loving found too. This found user said, found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier, expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And Found has 30,000 five-star reviews just like this. None of them, it looks like are from Marco, but yeah, he is still missing. He is still missing. Dang. We use Found for Hey, Riddle Riddle. It is a really great service. It makes my life so much easier. I appreciate that Found has invoicing, which allows me to easily create and send professional invoices, keep all of my financial activities in one place,

and the invoicing is the most annoying part of the things that I do. So it is really nice to have found. Losing Marco is the most annoying part of what I do. So open a found account for free at found.com. F-O-U-N-D dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Piermont Bank, member FDIC. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with found. Marco. Polo. Marco. Marco. Oh, Aaron. Marco. Okay, it's a puppet. I'm out of here. It's a puppet. I miss my helix sleep mattress.

Good night. Wait, can we do this? Aaron, can we do this? What? I mean, this. Could we do this? Oh, probably not. Yeah.

Okay, cool. Well, guys, I really wanted an excuse to talk about my helix mattress. I love it so much. I have the midnight lux. I've had it for years. It's the best mattress I've ever had. And anytime someone comes over and dogsits for Lou, they compliment my mattress.

and say, what is that glorious, glorious mattress? And I say it's Helix Sleep, baby. I have the same midnight lux. It's the most comfortable mattress I've ever owned. I used to have back pain when I woke up in the morning. My back pain is gone. Also, all four, yes, four of my cats sleep on my bed every night, which they didn't used to do when I didn't have a Helix.

So thank you, Helix. I am tired going to sleep on Helix. Can we do this? All right, Aaron, we can't go down this road again. We cannot go down this road again. But Helix Sleep can go down this road as many times as it wants because it's the best mattress that I have ever owned. And if you want to get one for yourself and guess what, dear listener, you freaking can. All you have to do is go to Helixleep.com slash riddle for the Labor Day Sale Extended.

That is a 25% off site wide. That's helixleep.com slash riddle for 25% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you Helix Sleep. dot com slash riddle Pelix sleep.com slash riddle Wait, why are you We can't do this?

Excuse me, I'm Mr. DMCA And I want to say I approve. Yay! Can we do that? I don't think so. Wait, run DMCA?

Run! This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Hey, You see, you know how I am starting, starting a new Biboo Boo Boo Boo Boo Boop Energy Drink Company? Well, I am looking to buy an online domain so it can make videos, educating people about the energy drink, and I can sort of do promo, and people have a place to buy it and subscribe. So I'm just going to- I did not know that and take three big steps back because you're right in my teeth, but you

should use Squarespace. It's the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, And whether you're just starting out or skilling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Yeah, Aaron, you can do stuff like video. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content of you on your energy drink being so you like you are right now. She's walking up the wall. She's walking up the wall right now. Oh, I'm not on the energy drink right now.

I just have to pee and I'm trying to communicate very, very quickly. Get Discovered Fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto-generated site map, and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. And, Aaron, who would you say are your ideal customers for your energy drink? People who are tired, people who want to run and jump. So I guess if you're tired and you want to run and jump, head to Squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, that's launch your website,

not launch yourself into the moon because of all the air and energy drink you had. Use offer code riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, and it says here that the slogan is, Aaron Juice gives you wheels? Uh-huh. Do you love it? No. GPC, let me get back in those teeth. Let me get back in those teeth. She was really back in those teeth. jealous much new coat new shirt new pants adle you didn't get those from the emperor did you uh no i think that guy was actually not wearing any clothes oh i knew it and everyone says he was and i knew he

wasn't i felt like i knew he wasn't interesting now my experience with the emperor his clothes are awesome adle your clothes look fantastic they look like very expensive that must have cost you an arm and a let uh no Oh, actually, we don't pay with limbs, we pay with money, but this was actually very cheap in terms of money. This is from Quince, my good lady. I love quince. Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear nonstop, like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters. Touch, please, touch. Starting at just $60.

That's bonkers. $60? Yeah, $60. Their denim is durable and fits right. And their real leather jackets bring the clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag. sheets from Quince. I got a skirt from Quince. I love Quince. On the walk over here, wearing quince, a bunch of photographers were like, who is that guy? That's clearly like some hard his little brother, like Nathan Levi's cousin or something. Taller, younger brother. And what makes Quince

different? Well, they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen, so you get top tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands. And middlemen are flipping out about it. I saw a middleman on the phone in a parking lot tearing the hair out of his head. He was so mad at Quince. Is he okay? No, he looks really distressed. Personally, I love my lightweight hoodie. I think it's

perfect for the cooler weather. It's like, it's kind of the in-between hoodie that you can get between like, you know, a fall jacket and your summer clothes. It's awesome. It's like a must-have staple of my wardrobe. And I got my eye on

some boots at Quince for the fall. Just a tall boot. I haven't had one of those riding boots in a minute and I'm excited. I might get them in black or maybe like a chocolate color. Come back to me. Come back to me. Sounds good, friends, puts on sunglasses. So keep

it classic and cool this fall with long lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle, free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Slash riddle.

Addle, I have got Aaron on a joke website. I'm about to sell her chocolate boots. I think she's going to walk around. Yum, yum, yum, yum. I will stay and watch this. Mom, yum, yum. Eats them like cookie monster. And we are back.

And it's time for another riddle. Is you're about excited for that? Yeah. I didn't know that there was going to be a pause and a need for me to have a riddle. reaction. I just thought it was going to be time for another riddle. I do think it's funny when I've seen clips of like concert footage of some band, you know, let's say the killers or something where they're like, we're going to do another song. And everyone just kind of sits

there and then they're like, is that all right with you guys? And everyone's like, woo. And it's clearly like they would have wooed. You just have to set them up to succeed. I hope you're going to do another song. Yeah. Can you guys give me your best take at like a, I, musician that's trying to get the people going, getting them to woo? Like, how would you set them up? Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, let's see.

Can you, Aaron, can you let us know what band we are? That would be helpful. Yeah, we'll have you be the killers. Oh, perfect. Oh, are we each taking our own... Turn, yeah. Okay, I'll go first. I'll go first.

All right, everybody. We are the killers. Oh, interesting. Um, how about we play a little song, some of you might know, called Mr. Brightside. Which one is Mr. Brights? Oh, boy. Is that the somebody tall? No, no, no, no.

Hey, who out there likes candy? Silently raise my hand. One person who lives candy. Okay, okay. Hey, what about making love? Anybody out there like making love? Silently raised my hand. To candy?

Not candy And that person likes candy and fucking Oh, okay Um Hey, it looks like This is never happen to me My name's Brandon Flowers Thank you

Thank you. The last time's a plant Like Robert Plant That guy goes about the wrong That woman, I don't know if she knows where she is All right, Adel, your turn Okay Hey everybody I'm

Local Mormon Brandon Flowers Leadsinger of the Killers What do we think? Are we human or are we excited? Human. Okay, I'm hearing a lot of human.

A lot of human. Okay. What's that what's that sound that people make when they're excited? Raise his hand. No. It's not the sound of one hand.

being raised, although that sounds like some sort of proverb. Zinn Cohen. Hmm? A Zen Cohen. You're thinking of a Zen Cohen. Oh, is there someone famous? Is there a Zen

Cohen in the audience? Are you like Ethan's daughter? Hello? Everyone's looking to the left and right. Oh man, I love when celebrities are here because you can just put them on the gemo-tron and people go nuts. Let's look for cheaters in the crowd. Is anyone cheating on someone? That woman raises her hand.

She's alone. Camera, focus on that woman raising her hand, and she's in the Titanic pose. Can I go to the bathroom? Oh. Thank you for asking. I would prefer you wait until I, because this next song is going to be like a big. This is going to be. It's, um, oh, what's this song that they used?

Hold on, hold on, hold on. What was the movie about who's the guy that got shot in the face by, no, who's the guy who shot somebody in the face when he's hunting? Raise my hand. Dick Cheney? Dick Cheney. What was the movie where Christian Bale plays Dick Cheney? Come on. I just went in my pants.

What was the, it's... Newsies. Newsies. And in the trailer, it was like, who's the man? Who's the man? I'm the man. We sing that song.

I think. Can I go to the bathroom? I went in my pants. I'm Claire. Codd goes nuts. Okay, Aaron, you ready? $100 to whoever can make the loudest woo sound on the count of three. One, two, three.

Fuck you guys. You would woo. See. I see it. Fuck you guys You would woo Fuck you guys I love

Just like a super fun Like let's A hundred bucks Fuck you guys Fuck you guys You would woo You'd fucking woo I know you

You know what I want to see That I don't think I've ever seen Is every once while I can't think of like a specific person Maybe like Springsteen or A few people have done it You two's done it Where they will like bring up a kid from the audience

Yes and give them a guitar and then they're like hold that they'll of course harvest the soul for raw they'll bring up a kid from the audience and then they'll give them like a guitar

or put them behind the drum set and then they'll like know a song perfectly and everyone that loses their mind you've never seen this Aaron? I've seen this I want to see I've never seen where they bring up a kid

give them drumsticks or guitar and they just eat shit and they're like I lied I can't I held up a poster board that said... That would be so funny. They're like, I don't... I didn't think I'd get chosen. I just wanted this moment with you.

I don't want to plug it. You know, we gotta be doing that at Hey, Riddle Riddell live shows to go like, any kids know how to act like JPC? And there's a kid that comes up and it's like, there's a perfect J.P. Rittles impression. And everyone's like, oh, fuck. Like, it's a genius.

I do think that... We've never done it before, but I think that people need to start making signs for Hey, Redo Virtle Live show. shows that say like, you know, let me, let me do Dr. Chameleon or something. You know, I have the best Dr. Camelian. Let me do Dr. Chameleon. The closest thing I've seen, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I, I, I, I, I would, we would encourage that. We won't necessarily bring you up on

stage to do it, but if you make the side, there's a chance. We need more poster boards in our live shows, but that also means we can't have them seated because then people can't save over the poster boards. Yeah, I mean, be respectful, obviously, you know, you put it up at the right time. But, you know, one, I think there are times in our live shows where we say, hey, we need the house lights on for something. That's the time where you throw up that poster board. And then we see, you know, we see Let Me Sing as Cocoa Kashmir and we say, okay, let's give this person the biggest shot they've ever had in their life. And then you hear that episode later when we release that and you hear that that person has been edited out of the episode.

And you know, that person did not do a good job. It was too awkward and we had to take it out. That moment kind of scares me, though, when we do, like, the light go up at a live show. Because then I realize how, then I'm being perceived. Yeah. And then I realize how many people listen to the show. And I'm like, oh, God. So.

You say, oh, God. So pros and cons. Here's another riddle. She was responsible for the deaths of many people. Yet she was never charged. How come? She was a goose that got sucked into a. We just did this right on.

Wow, that's not the answer, but that was a answer. She was responsible for the deaths of many people yet she was never charged. How come? She was a rat that carried disease. Oh, Aaron, you are thinking along the right lines. She was a Clinton. No, she was a Bush. She was a Trump. She had rabies and she bit someone. So rats with

disease, that would be the plague, which is, you know, historically a way a lot of people died. This is also a historical way a lot of people died, but maybe more man-made and maybe, like, this literally is what, well, yeah, of course, it's literally what killed them, but it's... Is this like mad cow-tainted beef, England? Tainted beef, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh, tainted beef. Was that tainted love, but instead of love, it's beef? Who can know? so it's like a disease

not a disease but this is this is something manmade and it was used to it was it was the cause of a lot of death but is it like after a trial or after a miscellarie's cow that kicked over the lantern or something like that

which has also been kind of debunked right they said that that was just like a racist way to like attack Irish people or something I do want to see a C not that there's anything wrong with that Not that there's anything about it. I'm all for racist attacking the Irish. I don't want to go out yet. I do want to see a scene.

GBC, you are Mrs. O'Leary. Aaron, you are Mrs. O'Leary's cow. And, of course, the great Chicago fire has happened. I don't know why we're calling it great. And Mrs. O'Leary, you're sort of confronting your cow with what happened. Hey, what's up, Mrs. O'Leary? Michelle, what's going on? Keep your cow voice down.

We have to get you to. Canada tonight. What's what's going to Detroit? And from Detroit, we're going to go to Toronto. No, no, no, no, no, no. I love Chicago. I know you do, cow. White socks, cubs, cheap dish, baby, I love it.

They're going to turn you into wet beef. What are you talking about? I've heard them talking, cow. They blame you. I wish they would blame the Irish. The people who deserve it, we all know. We all know. But they blame you, cow.

We have to get you to Canada tonight. Blame me for what? I don't know what's going on. I'm on a birthday bender. No, no. I was... I'm just really horny in here. Ooh. Nice.

Good. That'll distract them for a few minutes. Is it true? You're horny? No, I'm not horny. Why don't you say so, Miss O'Leary? I'm trying to help you. The Chicago fire happened.

All of Chicago was burnt to a crisp and they blame you, cow. What did I do wrong? I'm just drunk. Well, first of all. you shouldn't be drunk that's a that's a big issue why if peter found out they could take you from me but they're saying i don't give a shit about what peter thinks of me

nobody does they're saying you kicked over a lantern when you got drunk and started the fire and that and they're trying to play last night you kicked over that lantern mr o'leary i know i did i'm irish history's bad guy but we have to protect you cow they of course they're not going to blame some you know harmless old woman, they're going to blame the indolent cow. No, they're probably going to blame you.

Look, I told him it was you, okay? And I feel bad. Wow. Hey. Wow. Hey. Mooh. Are we the only city that has a sports team named after a tragedy?

Because the soccer team in Chicago is the Chicago Fire. No. There's the Boston molasses floods. I would buy merch of that. The Dodgers are named after the trolley dodgers, which is the term for people getting hit by trolley cars in the street. So I feel like that's a kind of a team. You guys just taught me that, right?

No, someone else just taught us that. I was talking about it. Oh. But yeah, is there another tragedy? There's probably some minor league tragedies. I was wearing my shrimp shredders shirt while we were in L.A. And I walked into a place and the guy goes, oh, man, that shirt's awesome.

I was like, is that a minor league team? And I was like, no, it's a fake team. You should have said yes. Well, you know, I could have said yes. Because it didn't say Tampa Bay on it. So I'm like, yeah, it's Tampa Bay, baby. Go shrimp shredders. I hope that we should leave some sort of like time capsule because I hope in like 200 years somebody digs up a shrimp shredder shirt and they're like, they used to make penguins play baseball.

Like there's no context. They're like, this must have been like underground rooster fights or something. Yeah. I leave time capsules, like, in pretty much everywhere I go. You spit out your gum. Yeah. Into the upper deck of a toilet take. A time capsule.

A time capsule. She was responsible for the deaths of many people, yet she was never charged. How come? Now, I don't know why. Discharged you mean charged with a crime? Sorry, what was that? Discharged mean charged with a crime, or is it like a battery? Okay.

Yes. and this is almost like I've this is such a dumb riddle this is like when people call their boat like oh she's a bute so this is a manmade thing being an animate object yes okay um so she wouldn't be charged for the crime think historically responsible for a lot of deaths and and can you read it again is just the fucking titanic again no um she was responsible for the deaths of many people yet she was never charged so this is something where you when you see it you're like yeah of course it's responsible for death like no fucking duh not like when you see a rat and you're like oh what a weird little creature she was a guillotine erin she was madame guillotine the deadly invention of joseph guillotine that was used in france to execute people this riddle we gendered a guillotine and decided it's a woman absolutely not i guess they called it madame guillotine oh interesting Interesting. Was the guy single?

This is my wife, Madam Guillotine. I hope that that's the cruel nickname my exes have given me. Madam Guillaume. Madam Guillaume. Aaron, you are going to be, I want to see a scene. Aaron, you're going to be playing a woman. Again? All right, yeah, let's mix it up.

Okay, Aaron, you're going to be playing a kaiju. You've just found out from your friend Adel who kind of let it slip. that your exes have been calling you Madam Guillaeatine. Boy, hi, I need a drink. Thank you for meeting you for Happy Hour. I've had such a crazy week. Oh, same. Yeah, work's been a real just sort of like pain in the ass.

I feel like my boss is like being a real Madame Guillotine. Huh? Nothing. Madam Guillotine, which is, no offense. Just no offense there. Wait, what do you mean? So I'm going to have a Mai Tai, huh? Why would I be offended by that?

That's a term I'm unfamiliar with. Oh, sweetie, you haven't heard? You don't know? No, what's going on? Oh, John, David. My John? My David? My Dylan?

Your exes have found each other on a Reddit thread, and they're all calling you, Madam Guillotine. And it has spread like wildfire. There are shirts, there's merch. You're being, you know how. Shit, my dad said, was turned into a sitcom with William Shatner. They're turning Madame Guillotine into a primetime sitcom. Ruba McIntyre is playing you.

Well, Madam Guatine, I guess. What? I'm so sorry. It seems a little unfair. You cut off the heads of a bunch of animals and all of a sudden you're Madam guillotine. That's super sexist. They found, yeah, they shouldn't have been looking under your bet, I think.

You deserve your privacy. All of my. X's found each other on Reddit? Hold on. It was under a, Am I the Asshole thread? They're like, am I the asshole? Because I found severed animal. Oh, sorry.

Someone from the bar sent you a Mai Tai, that ma'am. And then someone else, actually, a lot of other people from the bar sent you a glass of champagne. So I have 30 glasses of champagne. I'm not sure if you want all. I'm just going to put them on the table. For me? Well, yeah, a bunch of people have been sending these to you.

this is the only French drink that people know about. So there you go. So people are into Madam Guillotine. Maybe I'll embrace my new nickname. Oh, yeah. This is like when people write into a prisoner because they're like, this is hot or whatever. I shouldn't say this because I could lose my job,

but I did watch a lot of people spit in these just so you know. So I wouldn't drink. Oh, so they're horny too. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, a lot of floaters in this champagne. I love it. Cheers to embracing, nope. Wait, I'm stuck on my exes finding each other on Reddit.

See. I'm trying to think of what the Reddit thread that those guys would find each other on. Am I the asshole? I dumped the girl. Am I the asshole? Just a bunch of like, is this AI and people make fake, fake, fake and fake is my ex-girlfriend? Madam Cutine? Madam Cutine?

Oh! Here's one that's, I guess, historical, but also I think a little bit more fun than the last one. Also, I feel like, did I read something where it's like the guillotine was used up until like 97 or something? I would believe that. The last one was like the 70s or something. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Which is kind of terrifying. Yeah. I feel like, can you imagine being in the 70s being like, guys, guys, guys. You can kill me, but the guillotine, guys. Seriously, guys. They still use it but just for hands. Oh, that's fine. It's better.

It's better. Can you say it's not better? I don't know. I can't. So this is another historical rule. I can't believe it's not better. In England, why did rich people pour their tea first and then add milk, while poor people poured milk first and then added tea? Prices.

Is the answer prices? Show your work on the board, please? I don't know. In England, why did rich people pour their tea first and then add milk, while poor people poured milk first and then added tea? Poor people poured is sort of a tongue twister that's not meant to be any sort of hint. Is it because they want to be able to measure the exact amount of milk they're putting in to ration it? Ooh, that's honestly a phenomenal guess, but that is not what I have here.

Yeah, this is like this is during the Blitz and there's tea and milk rations. Why did rich people pour their tea first and then add milk while poor people pour the milk first and then added tea? Is it is there, is the crux of this riddle that one of these things is like very differently priced? Like one's much more expensive? it definitely has something to do with price in terms of quality rich people go tea first then milk uh yes and but poor people do milk first and then tea and it absolutely has something to do with saving money and quality difference in quality of something that they both are using is the milk both from the same animal um yeah talking cow talking irish

Oh, boy. And this is in England. And does the time period matter? Like, is this going to be, okay. So this is like, is this like during Mad Cow or is this during the Blitz or is this during? I don't know what era this took place in. I would guess probably, probably even up to early 1900s, I would guess. But I, but I really have no context because I'm learning something from this riddle. Is it, well, no, because I was like, did England have to import like milk? Like, was like, was. Like, was. there are no cows or sheep on England for like a long time, but that can't be right. So I don't think the milk matters, but you are right to kick the tires on the liquid, but think of the other liquid, and maybe that might lead you down the road. Oh. They only didn't, they didn't have water? No.

Is it because they didn't, they don't grow tea in England? They had to, like, import all their tea? Don't grow tea in England. How dare you? I don't have to. it feels like they probably got it feels like England if you just look at it you're like oh yeah nothing could grow there that's a barren rock so think about for tea you need Boston sorry when you pour your tea it's it's been steeping in in a kettle presumably or boiled in a pot so it's very hot so ostensibly the rich people are pouring in very very boiling hot water and tea first and then adding milk while the poor people put the milk in first and then the very very hot boiling oh because these poor idiots are drinking it out of their hands

and so they don't want to burn their hands on the hot tea where the rich people have cups nature's cups yeah um so think about the the boiling hot water with the tea and then also think of like the vessel that they're um drinking out Wooden cups. Yeah, do poor people drink it out of what? Like a dog bowl? Like, I'm struggling that. I have no idea.

So why would the rich people be like, put the fucking 200 degree water in first and then who cares? And why would poor people be like put the room temperature or cold milk first? Is it because they don't want their like cups to shatter? That is 100% correct. Rich people had bone china that could handle the hot tea. but poor people had cheap crockery that would crack if hot tea were poured into it. Pouring the tea first became a sign of prosperity.

That's 100% wild. I had no idea. Cheap crockery is also just like such a great term of place. That's your ex is cruel nickname for you. Cheap crock of shit. Yeah, crock of shit. Huh. I do want to see a scene.

JBC, you are a very wealthy person in England having a cup of tea. Aaron, you have won a contest. You're a very poor person who's having tea with a very wealthy person in England. And this is that moment. Well, I'm honored to be. I've honored to be here I is. Not so loud. So good for you to have me.

Is this seat taken? This is nice. Yes, it's please. You're actually here to have tea with me. I'm the governor of this province. and you are here to have tea with me. You've... Well, well, well, I've never smelled anyone who smells as good as you.

And I live in a chimney, I doz. Yes, yes. I've heard about your plight and your predicaments, and it's all very worrying. We sound like we grew up on the same block, you me. Um, only if you grew up in some sort of basement on my block and I... But yes, you are, you do... I can understand the words that you are saying. How's that?

Oh, yes. And I like some tea, please. Yes, this is a... Oh, is that... Is that Owen? Owen. Oh, old chap, how are you? Oh, I simply must meet who is this?

This is the, um... This is the make-you-wish. Oh, yes. Is this some sort of taming of a shoe situation? That's literally a make-a-wish. It's sort of ten things I hate about you or she's all that situation. It's more of a my fair lady situation. We've all seen Shakespeare's

She's all back, okay? Trying to make me a part of our society Pours milk in cup Pours tea in cup They'll do that for you I'm sorry She doesn't know She's brand new here

As it were Ubi, please let the people with the gloves Pour the tea If you don't have gloves You shouldn't be handling Cops I don't mind doing it myself I'm starving

All I had this week was two rats Two So you ate one rat Said that was a good idea And then ate another rat They were kebab They was Ate them on a stick

We have to eat the one after the other I mean that's All right well that's Isn't that nice for you Well look at the time Our contractual tea time Is almost at its end and we thank you so much for doing this

thank you for your service you will be of course sacrificed to one of the we don't say pedophile what do we say? I actually won't you Oh Aaron I want to hear what you're going to say I was going to flip it and have it be that I was the rich person I am curious of like

Nunts Nance yes We said, nuns. From the Netflix series, Adolescence. I am curious of, like, if in olden days in, like, England or something, if, like, poor people would go up to a rich person and be like, can we grab tea sometime so I can pick your brain? You know how, like, as someone goes to L.A.

And they know, like, a screenwriter who sold something. They'll be like, can I pick your brain? I'm just curious if the poor did that. If they're trying to network. Yeah, poor people were trying to network. The difference is back that everyone had canes. And you would just cane a poor person in the street if they'd try to network. to network with you.

We've got to bring back walking sticks. I do like a walking stick. Yeah, those are fun. You know what's also fun is the end of the show where we plug or promote whatever we like. Aaron Keith, my dear, do you have anything to plug or promote? Check out our Patreon. Patreon. com slash Hey Riddle riddle.

Lots of fun stuff going on over there. We got a fun October coming up. So that's interesting. And then also come see us live. Hayridor riddle.com slash live. coming to a city near you this fall perhaps so check it out um adle anything to plug uh yes i want to plug our tour um very excited for the remaining cities we're going to especially um Denver because i feel like i've never done a live show in Denver so i think that's going to be really fun um also you can check

out gum shoes and dragons our uh uh d and d adjacent podcast with anthony birch our fourth episode is out now yeah just came out listen to the back catalog And, hello for the back catalog, all four episodes. Although if you have been waiting to kind of like binge it a little bit, four episodes, I think is a good place to kind of jump in because you get a lot in a lot in that four episodes. You got a little road trip coming up or something. Also, hello for the Magic Tavern is on tour. So please check out our cities and dates and hope to see you there. JPC, anything to plug or promote?

We got a review to read. This one is a review and this is going to fucking kill you guys. This is from, it says from MWJ8 and it's titled Long Time. Listen to the sixth anniversary episode and just wanted to say, I'm 20 and I've been listening since 2018. You guys have been part of one third of my life. That's crazy, right? Holy shit. Oh, God.

And I would like to say to that person, congratulations on 20, 21. Happy birthday. That one's a little old. Hey, I'm getting to him. I'm getting to them, guys. We're getting around to him. We're getting around to him. Aaron, of course, Megatron.

Was that this episode? Sure. Not from whatever planet JPC said, but it's from a different planet. I think from Jupiter, if I'm not mistaken. That's from Cybertron. How do you guys not know that she's from Cybertron? Megatron's from Cybertron when the AllSpark was born. What?

What's the AllSpark? It doesn't matter. John Patrick Cohen. Casey Tony did the editing. Now are he parents in the music. Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Napurus. One, two, three, four, Hey, Riddle, Riddle. Hey, Riddle.

Plus you get those at free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.