Hey Riddle Riddle - #377: Hello Dali!

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

We stand by 0% of our takes and songs in this episode!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifPlease check out https://rabiesalliance.org/Editing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of the network of fish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse was a day Friday. Two, three, four, hey, riddle, riddle.

All right, Adel. You are just going to keep your eyes open as long as you can, and then the Lasic will shoot a laser right into your eye. Okay. Wait, sorry, is it Lasic or Lasic? Oh, my God. How is it spelled? L-A-Y-Z-Z-Z-Z-I-C-K.

Oh, why is it count on still going? This seems like you should have this figured out. Well, JPC built this. You said you wanted to fix your eyesight. JPC said I'm on it. Oh, oh, I'm sorry for the miscommunication. I was built by this. Oh.

Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah. Sometimes what is it when you... Stop squirming. Stop squirming. I need out. I need out.

I need out. I'll stop squirming. You know when you read an email, but sometimes you just kind of like skim for the important things? That's how I read it is. Almost always. right wait yeah yeah right so this thing built you ah is it or okay and you're done oh there's no lasers one in my eyes but jpc's fingers went in my mouth okay oh i think he said he's done he did that

email thing again he finished because he put your fingers in here come the lasers don't say finished finished implies but i am done oh how do you feel how do you feel how do you feel I want to die. So the same. Okay, now you can't get horny for 48 hours. I can't get what for 48 hours? It doesn't matter. And the check is in the mail.

We hope. I get paid? No. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bless your heart. And bless the audience's heart for listening to this show. It's, hey, riddle, I'm at Orfei.

I'm JPC. And I'm still here. Keith, after all these years. Bless your heart, Erin. So bless your heart, this is new for you, JBC. You're sort of on a bless your heart kick. Yes, I, we are currently in the South, on tour right now. So we just did shows in Atlanta and Nashville.

And so I am, I'm kind of bless your heart coded now. I'm like, I'm kind of, you know, I'm kind of their culture is my costume. I'm like kind of putting it on and trying it out. And I like it. You've changed. Well, yes. Literally, yes. That's what I was talking about.

Oh, okay. Right. But I did that thing where I've read the email, but it was only just I picked out a couple of words. We're all doing that with just kind of like our lives, it seems. That's how we listen on this show. And JPC, you have sort of a straw hat, sort of cocked over your eyes and your, you got one of those, what is it, like a thistle in your mouth? Not a thistle. Eye patch.

Pletch in your mouth. You're on an old. rocking chair you were saying something like rain's gonna come in oh again you were kind of you were kind of skimming what I was saying

Aaron oh I said rain's got me coming I thought you said you were done no I love fucking in a thunderstorm with that rain hits so do I you guys I thought that our recordings would feel different doing them in the afternoon instead of the morning and it turns out same energy

it's the same energy it's the same exact energy everybody welcome to hey riddle riddle i hope you enjoyed if you live in nashville or atlanta i hope you enjoyed seeing us at our live shows um and i hope if you live in denver in a couple of days i hope you enjoy seeing that live show on friday i think if you're listening to this when it comes out man if you're not listening to this when it comes out oh i mean wow isn't that weird to think about that like maybe somebody right now is listening to an episode from 2021, and we just don't, like, someone is experiencing our voices right now, and we don't even know where or when they are.

Yeah. Isn't that kind of scary? No, not to me, no. All right. No. It's interesting, though, because when you record the podcast, you don't really think about recording it as a time capsule. You're like, well, I don't think, I hope this stands the test of time, you know, I hope

decades from now someone discovers this no no i hope it goes in the ground you don't think this is going to end up in the dark web for your children's children to find what do you think the dark web is i don't know and i'm too safe someone's going to buy like cocaine and a hitman and listen to an episode yeah yeah shall we press the vinyl an episode a secret episode that we then sell wutang clans style for a hundred thousand dollars didn't they sell it for a mill or we're just we're no wuketeg we're no wutteg we're one-tenth of wuttang i well we you guys unfortunately a few months ago we did promise that we would be working on the most perfect episode of a podcast ever and when we're finished with that something we haven't started yet um when we're finished with

it we will press that on to vinyl and then we will throw into the ocean. Yes. I think keen-eared listeners will remember that I never promised that we would do that, which means it will never get done. So I'm in the clear. I don't have to worry about it. I think I could pull up a clip of you saying you would do it. I was pretty careful, Aaron. I was pretty careful not to commit to something that I had no intention of doing. We're going to do it. Here's my thing is I think I'm the one who made me proposition that idea. But then what happens is, I don't know if you guys experienced this. No. And then I have other ideas. Yeah. for sure. And then I'm like, oh, that one.

Chugga, chugga, chugga, chuga. If that makes sense. Chugga, chugga. Chugg can't stop the train. I think you and Aaron are great at generating ideas. You guys just go off like trains. And then sometimes what I like to do is I like to pick up all the pieces of the train tracks behind you guys. And you're just running off into the grass. And I say, well, well, who would like to build this, though? Because this does need. Sorry, Dad. We're going out to play. That's okay. Have fun in the grass. There's a train. Are in the pie in the sky. No bad ideas. Cocaine up all night. process and then what you do with the awesome ideas adela and i come up with is your business

and that's your that's your problem we need dreamers you know yes erin and i are the coked out nineteen seventy five cast members and jbz you're lorne michael's um wrangle us wrinkle us really big shoe i think that might be ed sull of it yeah something else so here's my new fixation we record an episode we put it on a thumb drive we then hide it somewhere in the world. It's probably somewhere in northern Illinois. Then we make a series of clues and whoever finds that episode, it's theirs. There is, speaking of Thund Drive, I'm kind of baffled by this. Sometimes I look at like the R-scams on Reddit of like what scams are kind of out there. I like to stay apprised of what my people are doing. There are people who are posting, I found this

thumb drive outside, plugged it into my computer, and now my computer has. And now my computer has a virus. And I want to think, like, what do you do? Would you ever pick up a thumb drive off the, that's just what libraries are for. No, no, no. You go right to the library and you plug it in over there. Don't do it. Don't do that. You crash their systems. That sort of feels like bringing a Ouija board that you found in the middle of the woods into your home. I do think it's the same thing. It's the exact same thing. Yeah, I mean, they're both, you're getting demons both You're either getting like a cyber demon, like a mailer demon, or you're getting a whatever comes out of a flash drive.

I'm assuming the cyber demon is the Ouija board, right? Yeah, exactly. Adel, I think we brushed past your idea too quickly. I'm 100% down to do that. And we can be lazy about it, but not too lazy. We could just bring it on tour with us and hide it in one of the tour cities. Or, Aaron, I think, yes. So that maybe...

Wait, hold on. All right, you were going what you were saying? Or maybe we just chuck it over the fence of the six flags. Okay. New plan. New plan. All of our episodes from now on, we're going to record individually, not save it anywhere else. And then we're going to go, yeah.

And throw it over the fence of the six flags. And then if someone finds it, they find it. If they don't, they don't. I love this direction for us. And JPC, you make it happen. Looking at my notes for the episode, I got, I wrote down ideas and that it's just a blinking cursor. So as soon as I hear one that I like out, I promise it's going down on paper, though.

I'll put that all wax, maybe. GBC is something I just discovered, and I think this is a big one. You probably know about it, is never charge your items at an airport, like charge station. Like the ones by the seats or anything? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Because people are, I guess, doing something with those to where they can just steal your information. Jangling their electronics in there? Huh?

Hey, it's a bad world out there. It's an absolute bad world. yeah the I mean surely you've seen these too like the the one of the reasons why they went to like the tap technology for credit cards is because people would just put like those skim readers like on top or like grocery store checkouts and stuff like they just slap them right on top and then the people who are working they're like well whatever who knows and they're just like collected credit cards the entire time it doesn't matter I've had in the history of my being an adult I you know I'm 36 now and I got a credit card and I was 18. And so 18 years of, is that how the math works out? Of adulthood, I have had maybe four emails that were like, hey, this, you know this urgent care that you went to like six years ago? Yeah. Our computer system was put together by like pencils and paper mache and all your credit, all your information got stolen by hackers and whatever. And then they're all like, and you know what you could do is you could like freeze your credit.

And just do that forever. And, uh, I don't really want to talk to you anymore. So, bye. And we stopped being a business because we also went, you know, we went under us in business too. So anyways, love you, miss you. And I'm like, that's happened to be so many times and I'm like, it's over. Like it's the, my information is just out there floating freely now forever. Yeah.

And also, I like to think that there's something in this world worth fighting for. It's not all bad. Is that a lyric? She's singing Bon Jovi to us right now? What's going on? Who is that? Oh, John Bon Jovi. Nothing's ever ever.

Nothing suffers ever. Nothing going to suffer now. Is that John Bon Jovi? A Jefferson Starship. Formerly Jefferson Airplane, but then they're like, the 70s are over. No more singing about White Rabbits. We need space names. It's all space names now.

One of the wildest transfers of names of rock history, one of the only transfers of name in rock history, I guess, ultimately. Well, let's do some riddles. Yes. Oh, God, yes. Oh, my God, Adel, I'm so sorry. I thought that this was a JPC episode, and I would have done a totally different vibe at the beginning if I had known that this was something that you had to listen back to. I'm not even kidding. Aaron, this will all be talked over offense at a six slides.

It doesn't matter. Okay. But I just, I am saying that I try to put, and this is a compliment to you, JPC, obviously. I don't even have to tell you that, of course. I try to put a more cursed, horrible, sort of wicked energy into JPC's episodes because I know what he likes. And then I focus more on the riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems when it's an adult episode. Interesting. Oh, and to the, to the teens at Six Flags listening to this, we got to stop it with the hand on the back of the pants. If you would have put your hand. hand in someone else's back pocket, that's kind of cute. But just straight down the back of the pants. What are we doing? I'm sorry. I haven't checked in with teens in a minute. What do you say? Have you never been to a six flags? Is this over the underwear or under the underwear? Where's the hand going? I'm not looking that closely, my man. I just see hands straight down the back of the pants. Hold on. The Jane Goodall of teens is teaching us something. Addo, what were you saying? Horny teens in the mist. Is it? Oh, yeah, I guess.

It's a horny thing, right? That's what it is. That's why people would be doing that. I don't even, it doesn't even, no one seems to be enjoying it. Everything is a horny thing, unless it's a horny thing, in which case it's about power.

And you learn that in English class. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You're welcome. Whoa. Sorry, riddles. Riddles, riddles.

Riddles, riddles. I'm glad I'm not going to Six Flags any type of soon, but now I'm concerned. Unless we do it for a review. crew, which we definitely are going to now, because I put it out in the ether, and I can't be stopped. That would be interesting. Well, let's do some of the...

So I'm going to give you three items. You have to tell me what they all have in common. Just as sort of a warm up here. The movie Steel Magnolias, the 1997 cloning controversy, and the surrealist painting world. Dolly, Dolly, Dolly, Dolly. They have Dolly. Uncle Adel writes a check. I'm sure we've done this before, but I'd like to see a scene.

JPC, you are Salvador Dali, and you are explaining your new painting to Adel. Salvador Dali is Spanish, correct? In our version, he can be whatever. Oh, Aaron, he was going to be whatever. Yes, this is my painting. This is my new painting. have you know finished it. I hope

it's what you were looking for when you commissioned it. Yeah, yes, yes. I just want to make sure I have this on the wall the right way up. Oh, no, this can't go on the wall. It's no, it can't, it

doesn't exist in three-dimensional space. So it can never be on a wall. Oh, but it, oh, okay. Yes. Because it would go through the wall. I see.

And reach back into when you are a little boy. And your dreams and your frustrations were fresh in your mind. Has anyone ever told you that you will sound like Javier Bardem? Well, yes. Or I guess he'll sound like you. I'm sorry. Yes, I got this from the painting. This is a painting of Javier Bardem.

Wait, how do I even know that name? The painting. I touched the painting. You touched the painting. You've traveled through time in the fifth dimension. Wow. Just like I have traveled to time in the fifth dimension to make the painting. I didn't actually even paint this painting. Oh. Oh, shit. Well, then I can't sell it. I'm sorry. Well, no, I mean, it's my painting, but me and Javier Mardem worked on it together.

Can I be honest with you? Please. We traded places. Hey, guys, just want to let you know We did discover a gas leak in the building So everyone's evacuating if you boys want to Not everyone Whatever you say, floating cloud

Ride the way Okay, guys, I think rest of the episode Everyone has to walk on and say there's a gas leak That's the new welcome to Jamba Jubeb Juba Jop's Jumma Jop's Jopoops There's been a gas leak Okay, guys

Salvador Dali Spanish And guess what? Hmm Javier Bredem Looks just like him Um Salvador Dali

Pretty thin Got that curly mustache Used to walk around New York With a pet Anteater on a leash Is that true? Oh yeah I saw an ant eater

The other week At the Brookfield Zoo And Anteaters are fucking big For whatever reason in my mind, I didn't think that an anteater was, like, necessarily a big animal. But they're big motherfuckers. Oh, yeah. Everyone, close your eyes.

Picture an anteater. Mm-hmm. Triple it. Jesus. Now open your eyes. That all, I'm stuck. My eyes your stock shot. An anteater triple the size could literally, like, suck small dogs up through its little

ant eater nose. Don't say suck small dogs. A genuine ant eater, the pet man told my dad. It turns out it was an aunt eater And now my uncle's mad That's Shell Silverstein Are you impressed that I know that? I am

Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would not take the garbage out What a bitch I can't remember the rest of it On a bad day Um, Shell Can we talk about it? Shell or are you okay honey

The fucking tree What is everything good at home Or lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, Jane is my fucking daughter. Get up! It's 2 p.m. on a Saturday, Jane. We should just rewrite for the sidewalkans with a spin. I really should know this because it was probably on a sign at the zoo that I could have read. But do auntieters, are they native to?

Oh my goodness, Adel. I hate that. Thank you. That's Salvador Dahlia. That's so fucking great. Are they native to? America? Are they a Spanish creature? I'm pretty sure they're African. They're African. I'm pretty sure. So this motherfucker was like, I'm a Spaniard living in New York City and I'm going to get

an African exotic animal. Boo. I'll say it again. A woman would never do that. That poor aunt eater, a woman would never need attention that bad that she would do that. Aren't there like documentaries of like, what was that woman who had the crocodile? farm or whatever in Florida. I guess that's a Florida person. That's not really cool. And I will say that was, that documentary was mostly crazy men.

That's true. But like this podcast, the ratio is two to one of crazy men to crazy women. And I should have been my statement, they are from Central and South America. Oh. So it wasn't that bad. Okay. What is Aaron? Sure.

What is? Let's say you had the. a living situation where it would be not not inappropriate you could you could make it work what is the craziest animal that you think that you could see yourself like owning and taking care of I love this question this is very good a dog

no I'm gonna actually think of one because there are some like if you you've said Aaron that you want to go live in a country there's like a way that you could have like an alpaca or something like that, right? Like some sort of form animal. But that doesn't live in your house. I really want to challenge myself

to have one that sort of lives inside. Yeah. I don't know how safe of a space this is. The podcast or the theoretical apartment where you're having those crazy wild animals? It's a podcast. Oh, both of them is a danger zone. I do kind of sometimes fantasize

that my house is covered in like hundreds of butterflies. Whoa. Like I kind of, that sort of. that sort of feels like, but that's not exactly your question, but that's the first thing that came to mind. That's interesting. I hate to say this, but that sounds beautiful. But at some point, you'd be like closing a cabinet or like putting down a toilet seat or

something. Oh, I'm killing butterflies all day. And then that's my nervous system is having to. You'd open the freezer and two would fall out and shatter. And I think it would really do some psyche damage. Adel, I've never to be love is to be known. And you knowing that I would be in a constant. state of intense creed in self-hatred.

I also don't think that butterflies, they're like migratory. I don't think they live very long, too. So even best case scenario, you're like a Janist, like never touching them at all. I'm just constantly wearing like a black dress with a black veil mourning all of these butterflies. I've become covered in dead butterflies. I'm going to change my answer, I think, what you guys think of yours. I mean, honestly, I would love to have a raccoon.

I know. We talk about this on the show. dying to domesticate those fathers. And they wash their little hands and it's such a cute little thing for a critter to do. Do you guys know that raccoon's hands are 10,000 times more sensitive than human hands? What does that mean? I know. I learned that like two weeks ago. Like the nerves in it. There are 10,000. Like when they jerk off, their hands are coming. Okay. I love that your brain went right to that. This is what I mean. Everything is horny unless it's horny and then it is about power. There we go. So if I'm getting fingered by a raccoon, it feels just as

to the raccoon as it does to me. 25 minutes in, we did one riddle, and we're talking about getting finger by a raccoon. Okay. Okay. Okay. Aaron, is this different than any other episode? I know.

That's what I'm just saying is every day I hope it will be in every day. It's not. What does it mean that a raccoon's hand is so sensitive? Is he like doing a little hand puppet and like, comedy is illegal now? You can't say anything anymore. Well, that's fun. Cattle, do you have an answer? Oh, well, I was going to say, I like to use the Mr. Popper's Penguins rule, which is you say Mr.

or Mrs. Then you say your last name, and then you have to use the same letter for an animal. So, Aaron, I would say for you, Mrs. Keefe's koalas, Mrs. Keeves, kangaroos, perhaps. I did live with kangaroos in Australia, a little baby one. And they would do somersaults into my tummy because they thought there was a little pouch. What? Is this real? Yeah, I lived with my friends.

I'll post a picture. I lived with my friends, Cass and Alicia. And Cass was a foster parent to baby kangaroos whose parents had been hit by cars. And so they would like swing a little baby kangaroo by and then you have to tie a sheet around a doorknob because they sleep in a little hammock. That's fun.

And then they would try to do somersault into your tummy because they think that they're going to get into something. But you kind of, I just spent so much time in Australia holding a little baby kangaroo like a baby with a bottle and watching Game of Thrones. They're so cute. Incredible. That's a documentary.

And they got along great with the cats. So if you, you could definitely have a kangaroo in your house at all. Yeah. But would they give, don't callas have like gonorrhea or something? That's koalas. Kangaroos have.

Adel. Aaron said that's whole time I was thinking quas. And your brain went to. how do I fuck a koala if I got a kangaroo? Yeah, I'm trying to, what's the funniest STD for a kangaroo to have? It didn't warm up. Hoppies. It's like herpy.

Cipolis? Okay. Well, I'm all right. Hopatitis C? Aphotitis C, probably. Do you remember the little, I think it was just last year. What was the little hippo everyone went nuts so far? I don't know.

It was like a little hippo. Sometimes you miss an internet thing and then you're really a lot. Some international zoo, and everyone was like, this is now, this is everything. No, no clue. No clue on this one. I can see you on a road trip with a little hippo. I don't know. That would be really cute.

Thank you. What I was going to say is I want a little, oh, sorry, go ahead, Jupy. Well, the thing about little kangaroo, little hippo is they grow. You know, these things are going to get big. No, Aaron, teacup pigs are just baby pigs. No. Aaron, there's no such thing as a teepcut pig. Yes, there is.

Look it up. Aaron, I know it. Just a baby pig. A teacup pig is a brand that people says. that they can sell you a baby pig. Everybody hurts. In Thailand, there's a famous hippo name Mudang who took the internet by storm.

But what I was going to say is I want like a Mudang type baby but for rhinoceros because I don't even know what a baby rhinoceros looks like. And I'm going to go ahead and just say blanket statement, I would love to have several of them and just assume they're never going to get big and leathery Okay, Adel. I actually think there's a pretty good idea.

You guys have big the first three minutes of the episode energy right now where you're just like baby kangaroo, baby rhinoceros. And I'm like, I got we weaning bottles and I'm like, what the fuck? Where are we going to? It's a 1,200 square foot apartment. What are we going to do? Adel, I'm sending you a picture of a baby rhino. Are you going to die? Can you even believe?

Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. Picture of baby rhinon. Rhinano. Rhinono. Now, they're too cute. Divided by three.

I think if I saw a baby rhinoceros, not in the context of, like, hey, you're about to see a baby rhinoceros. I was just like out for a walk and I saw a baby rhinoceros. I don't think I would be able to say for sure what creature that was. Yeah. I don't think I would ever be able to pull right.

Yeah. Maybe, maybe recency bias since I've just, seen a picture of a baby rhinoceros but ultimately it does look like a little falcour or something yeah it looks weird little star wars animals don't make fun of him don't make fun of him it looks like a little paddle a youngling that's how you stunt them their stunt their growth so i need to bully them to make sure they stay small and i know that seems cool i just had like 15 butterflies die because i won't before this is a guy who sold adela baby rhinoceros and told them They eat wishes.

And he's calling me a week later being like, I think it's sick. Yeah, man. I'm dying. I think I gave it too many wishes. An airplane, Abe Lincoln's family, Risley Adams. An airplane, A. Blinken's family, Grizzly Adams. They're all downers. I do want to say this safe.

No. No. Yes, I'm ready. The three of us are at a dinner party. Aaron, you are Abraham Lincoln's mom. And we're two people you're kind of meeting for the first time, maybe friends of your son, and you're kind of bringing the conversation then. But Bully is very, very, very much an honor to be at your table, Mrs. Lincoln.

Thank you. Thank you. I hope you find my house to be welcoming and warm. Raise your hand if you have a dead son Most people here Lady We don't want to talk about it But most people here

Okay raise your hand Never have I ever Oh we're playing this Waiters passing out champagne A dead I have a son that died That wasn't famous Your hand Put your fingers up

In the current day I believe my son died famous because he fought for what he believed in in the war and never have I ever drink, Chuck truck you have to drink fine

I was trying to I was trying to yeah you're trying never have I ever gotten kicked out of the White House unceremoniously excuse me I'm sorry

something you want to say something something you want to say something something you want to say something I'm unfamiliar with the way this game is playing Is it? Does one person go until they get out? I'm sorry, you're not drinking my wine at my table. I know I am drinking.

I had to drink on that last one. Yeah, cheers to you. Never have I ever been unceremoniously kicked out of the White House and dragged by my hair out because I refused to go because my son no longer worked there. You shouldn't have been living there. I was trying to take the silverware with me and all the sterling silver on my way out. And they said, this is, this is for the next president.

And I went, next president is, I thought the country was going to end once my son died. And they said, who's your son? No. They didn't say that. They didn't say that. They did. It was just after it had happened. I'm sorry, is this my house?

And also, lady, lady Lincoln, that comes. The country almost did it. What do you mean? It came, well, I'll say it came about as close as it ever has. Don't make me feel stupid for not reading the paper. Never have I ever. Had my son killed by a hack actor. Uh, hmm.

Mrs. Wilkes Booth? Something you'd like to say? She's been pretty quiet. Bitch? Is there something you'd like to say, bitch? Cunt says what? At my table? Maureen Wilkes Booth

you son of a bit I think they all Reaches a cross table No no I think they all pretty much Disavout He had some He had issues

He wasn't Okay Let's play Truther Dare next Huh I think We're going to retire For the evening I'd like to play

Truth of Dare This is my fucking game Chuck This is my game Um Dare Yes, dare. I dare you to put your son's corpse on a train that will go around the United States on a tour stopping city to city to...

Again? Oh, right, I guess I read that somewhere. Scene. I'm sorry, I don't mean an asshole. Silently slapping Maureen Wilkesmith at the table. Who's just in a drunken stupor? We have to assume. We have to assume.

But again, we don't read history. No. We'll never know. An airplane, Abe Lincoln's family, Grizzly Adams. Yes, they all are all downers, but there's something else they have in common. An airplane? Ableyton's family, Grizzly Adams. Did you say the downers thing?

Is that their name? Uh, no. No, like, JPC, hold on. Do they all have a cockpit? No. Abling and's family didn't have a cockpit. That we know of. They had caught fights. Families have secrets.

Families have secrets? Beards. Beards. Oh, that is a, that's a very good guess. And we have to assume that Mary Todd was one, but an airplane does not have a beard. Yeah, I was going to say, what's a beard on an airplane? Now, think about a pilot. the that's a also great guess this thing about also the theme song to our show who hey i have a question

yeah who the fuck is grisly adams the cabin they all have or had cabins don't you fucking hate it when it's a tv character right is he from tv i don't know i think a tv character who like piled around with bears he's like a nature guy i'm looking him up like the adventures of grisly adams and he like in nature and he'd like he was like a documentary or he's playing the character i think it's a character okay new crush unlocked for me y'all excuse me please someone look him up look at his beard he looks insane he's not so oh i'm looking at the baby rhino still he's not the one that grisly man is about right he's not no no no no never listen to this tape this tip is what promise me i'll never listen to this tape okay okay so wait

is that your type that Seriously, it's like, he's got like, Hagrid? He's got like a feathered 70s hair and feathered 70s beard. I don't think I've ever seen someone have like the, the, like Paul McCartney. Fairfosset beard. You're not living. If you haven't seen a man with a fairer faucet beard, then you are not living. It's fun.

It's so, it's like, it's a great texture. Okay. Currently texting my boyfriend. The happiest man alive. We are going to. the salon. Well, why don't we take a quick break so we can all sort of swoon over Grizzly Adams and everyone at home can look up pictures of Salvador Dali and Eaters, baby rhinos

and Grizzly Adams. And we'll be right back with more A Ritter-Riddle. One, two, three, four, hey, Rit-R-R-A-R-R-A-R-R-A-R-R-A-R-T-old. I'd ever feel like managing your business finance? This is a full-time job on top of your actual full-time job. Oh, say it, JPC Or sing it Whatever it feels best

So hold on You want me to do all the finances And you also want me to write songs for the finances Well, you know what It did feel like a full I'm not going to do that Full-time job until I started using found Found is a business banking platform

To let you effortlessly track expenses Manage Invoices and prepare for taxes You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different virtual cards. I have saved so much money because Found helps me identify tax write-offs, and I've saved so much time that I can now devote to chasing new opportunities and doing the work I enjoy, like writing original songs for the ads. Hmm.

And Found users have said amazing things like Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier, expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even. And Found has 30,000 five-months. our reviews just like this. Okay. Now, this is the part of the ad where they just say host ad lib. And I think what they mean when they say host ad libid. Do be da-da-da-da-da.

I'm so glad that I found found because my business needs I met. And I'm going to the moon. I took it too far. Take it too far. Pull back. Pull back. Curtin. Open a found account for free at f-o-u-und.com.

found is a financial technology company not a bank banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic don't put this one off join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with found that that wasn't real disclaimer text that was there just part of that's part of the song it's part of the song Addle JPC Come in, come in, come in, come in, come in Okay Do you notice anything different? Ten inches taller Thank you.

No. Oh, for her. Oh, no, we were just, oh, Adel and I were staring into each other's eyes and kind of feeling each other's arms. No, Aaron, let's focus on you or whatever. What's your thing or whatever? I texted you, said, come over, I need attention.

Also, I got something new from my house. Ooh, what did you get? Personality? It's my new rug from Quince. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, is that 100% Mongolian cashmere? No, that's my sweater. That's my sweater you're feeling.

Oh, sorry, let me step off you. That would be insane for a rug. And I bet it was so expensive, right? Not wrong. It was just $60. There's classic denim I can get from Quint, real leather, wool outwear, and my new rug. Look, I'm making a snow angel on my new rug. I'll look in a minute.

I love Quince. I'll look in a minute, Aaron. I'm looking into JPC's eyes. Now, JPC, I feel like you would look amazing in their suede trucker jacket. It's perfect for layering, even though you've got these, you know, 10-inch pythons now, these big biceps. It just looks really casual but put together. And by partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands.

And Adel, I gotta say, it looks like somebody cut the middle out of you and just left fucking chiseled abs. What's going on? You guys, you guys, I've been sick. I'm not just obsessed with their rugs, but I also love. their bedding. I have their sheets, bath, cookware, travel accessories, and my wardrobe. What do you guys do? Why don't you look at me? It's all amazing, Erin. Just calm down. Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash riddle

for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available and Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle. Free shipping and 365-day. day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. Oh, no, JPC, they made a Canada, too. Canada, too, the squeak wall. We got to go. Oh. Bye, Aaron. Bye. Why is that bad? JPC, you know how not too long ago Aaron was a car. We don't really need to dwell on it. Sometimes you're asking yourself weird things like, why didn't they teach us this in school? I feel that way almost any time I'm dealing with money. Amen. Famously, I'm very bad with money.

Famously, you're very good with money. That's why I'm giving my kids, aka my cats, a head start on their money skills with acorns early. Now, if I know your cats, they're going to take those acorns, put them outside your door, and then feed them to squirrels so they can watch squirrels going outside of your door.

But children, human children, they're very different. They have different learning patterns than cats. We're getting wildly off topic. Aaron used to be a car. That's why she's not here, but that's been resolved at this point, so we don't have to worry about that.

Mostly been resolved. Acorns Early is the smart debit card and money app that grows kids' money skills as they grow up. This is something that I am going to be gifting to friends, that I myself hopefully one day will be gifting to a child and again to my cats. Start with the in-app chores tracker. Teach your kids or cats the value of a dollar.

Then let your kids set up their own savings goals and start building healthy money habits early. And you could maybe be like, hey, let's set a goal that you save up to buy, I don't know, like a car one day. Yes, because it is legal to buy a car. Yes. Even if it is or was a human at some point, because if it's now a car, it's fine. And there's no laws against that. Plus, kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card,

giving them the extra sense of independence. Plus, with ACOR and Early's spending limits in real-time spin notifications, parents always stay in control. I have played around with the Acorn's early app. So it's still a little early for my child, but I really love the features. I really love how, like, simplified it is. I actually think that it, like, can make learning about money fun and engaging. And I think that those are very important things. It's also really important to, like, demystify, you know, the money.

You know, money isn't something that's, like, you know, dirty or dangerous or something. And it's just like a tool like anything else that we use to exist in society. and I think that acorns early is a great way to introduce children to that. Absolutely. Hey, JPC, do you notice, even though Aaron's not a car anymore, that sometimes when she sneezes, it sounds like room? Yeah. And sometimes when she, not to be indelicate, farts, it sounds like, con, con, con, comes his gas. It sounds like Hong Kong, Kong, Kong, Kong. Yes, and that I immediately want to get, anyway, ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save and spend, get your first month. on us when you head to acorns early.com slash hey riddle or download the acorns early app that's one month free when you sign up at acorns early.com slash hey riddle acorns early is issued by

community federal savings bank member fdic pursuant to license by master card international free trial for new subscribers only subscription fee starting for five dollars per month unless canceled term supply at acorns.com slash early terms. Aaron's not a car take control of your money. Ah, Aaron. Barber Aaron. Also, JPC. Just Paladin Cohen. Great. Love. Love it. Love. What is this vibe? Yes, we all love D&D-style adventures, right? Full of humor and heart.

Guys, I know I do. You need to check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh, I know Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's an award-winning D&D comedy podcast, hosted by an all-star team of writers, comedians, and voice actors. You can join along for an auditory adventure with immersive sound design, an original score, and gripping stories set in a fantasy world. Plus, it's suitable for all ages yet full of complex characters that make you laugh and cry. This podcast needs to be experienced by everyone, whether you're a season D&D player or completely new to the game.

Oh, this sounds up our alley. It's comedy with heart. Oh, wait, we don't have heart. So you're probably Jonzing for some heart. Join a cast of five quick-witted friends as they overcome disastrous dice rolls, bewildering role play in heartfelt moments of camaraderie. Your gut will both split from laughter and fill with butterflies as these goofballs weave

a hilarious heartwarming story together. Again, we'd love to know what it feels like to have a podcast that has a little bit of heart on it. Can't wait. Okay, how would you know if you like this show? Well, here, let me tell you some other shows that it's comparable to. Critical Role, ever heard of it?

The Adventure Zone, ever heard of it? Dungeons and Daddies. Ever heard of it? Gumshoes and Dragons. You might not have heard of that one, but it's good. Hello from the Magic Tavern. You probably heard of that one. You and all your friends will love Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

And I got to say the episode, The Quick and the Undead, where the party helps out a ghost mummy, is outstanding. Discover why Tales from the Stinky Dragon continuously stands out among so many D&D shows. The hype is real. Check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon anywhere you listen to podcasts or on YouTube.com slash Stinky Dragon pod. That's Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Tales from the Stinky Dragon, it's a natural 10, which we're going on a scale of 1 to 10. Yeah, it's

good. It's a natural 20. Well, but the scales 1 of 10, so... It's a great show. That's it. Mr. Monopoly here, Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app, so you're ready to Get Your Bad!

Two ways to peel for a chance to... Get Your Band! Physical peels with select items. and digital peels with others to Get Your Band! Play Monopoly at McDonald's. Barapap, pa. No purchase necessary.

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We're dying. All of us are dying around the house. Sweet butterflies. Hush, hush, hush, we have company coming over. They keep sitting on us and crashing us, my sister dad, last week, squeeze, squeeze, ques. I know, but this time, we get to do that trick we've been working on. Remember when I yell, attack, and then you get to sort of swarm in and kill a person? Yes, yes, yes.

Well, my co-worker slash friend, I guess, JPC is coming over. Yes. You'll be here any second, and then you get to sort of. Sort of do what you've been trained to do. Attack. Exactly. Yes. Oh, he's here, he's here, he's here.

Hey, Aaron. I'm, I just let myself in. I'm not sure the... Oh, yeah, door's open. Oh, okay, great. Oh, man. Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Attack!

Squat, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Swipe, swipe. Oh. Oh, hey, sorry. I think I just killed like 200 butterflies. They all came at me. Sorry. Get out of mine.

me of the butterflies you speak up erin i have no idea reach it across choke joke joke joke joke oh you're killing a wooks boof a cunt says what what

Aaron no a uh oh a da dee a man walks Aaron you put the K in cunt a man

that's so sweet A man walks into a restaurant And orders food When the food arrives he starts eating But he doesn't pay How can this be This man He's a ratatooey situation

He's being controlled by a ratatooey situation A man walks into a restaurant and orders food When the food arrives he starts eating But he doesn't pay How can this be? As in he doesn't pay the whole time Not that he doesn't pay right away He just doesn't pay right away

He's young Aaron, very close. And actually, we're going to go ahead and give it to you. He's part of the restaurant's staff, and he gets a free meal as a work benefit. I'd like to see a scene. Adol, you are a restaurant manager, and JPC is an ex-employee that doesn't work there anymore, who's come in for a shift meal, and just sort of sits down and starts helping himself. So just a reminder that we're going to be rolling out the XL Craig, which is going to be a pizza with mustard.

Now, so, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Brian. Brian? Me? Yeah. Did you... Sorry. Did you forget... Did you need to pick up a last paycheck or something?

No, I was just coming in... What? No. Oh, no. I got the paycheck. No, thank you so much. Are you... Wait, are you offering me another paycheck?

No. Okay. Yeah. No. Yes. The one I got was more than generous for the work that I did. So thank you...

Yeah, and considering how you left. No, no, no. Hold on. What's that? Do you have those things to get the fetuccini or? Tongs? Yes, I love some tongues because it's hot fettuccini. I'm just...

Yeah, you're elbow deep in the fat right now. You said we couldn't eat the shift meal until after the meeting. Can we eat it now, then? If he's eating it and he doesn't even work here, can we eat it? Lisa, I worked here. Oh, I'll take this. I'll take this. I'll take this.

Lisa, I used to work here, and so I'm just coming in for my shift meal. Yeah, but then you bit the chef. I was, that was my first day. I was traumatizing. Oh, yeah, but it wasn't about sex, but it was about power. No one said it was about sex. Well, but I feel like it, yes, I, is that, oh my God, I'm putting this together now. Is that why I got fired?

He had to get a rabies shot. First of all, he didn't have to get a rabies shot, okay? Yeah, you have to. What do you mean you have to? When you think that someone has maybe been exposed to rabies and then they bite someone else, then you have to get a rabies. Oh, because I live with a dog who had rabies? Yes. I told that to everybody in confidence

Because I was so drunk I told it to everybody in confidence Well Brian listen hey You go ahead and keep the fetichini that you're Stop drinking from the fountain Stop drinking soda straight from the fountain Okay sorry That's a new rule Lisa

Keep the fetishini in your pants Keep the fetishini that you stuffed in your pockets Obviously you drink from the We're going to have to get a new soda machine Oh we get this one a rabies shot Because I lived for a year in the wild He stuck his fingers in the food He stuck his sticky little fingers in the food

It's a restaurant, make more food Well that's okay We will obviously but Is there a problem with what I'm doing? Yes We're trying to Right now this is a meeting about brainstorming About how getting some of our customer base back

After all the bad PR we got Because of you Brian I know what to do Lisa is actually a fourth degree purple belt So why don't you grab her wrist, grab her right wrist, like, no, sorry, grab her, like, grab her wrist. Okay, like this, like that. Her breast? No, wrist.

Oh, my God, Brian. You did this to me. I actually blamed both of you equally because you knew how bad he was. I'm totally just going to go ahead and quit. This guy made me grab your breast. No, no, no. Here's what we should all do. Absolutely.

Do not start standing in front. No, do not do that. Let's rent a camper. What do you do? Together. Let's rent a. camper will all go camping together in a camper he doesn't have a house anymore yeah that's what this is man who just constantly needs to be out in the wild because he clearly has rabies i'm so thirsty i don't think i don't think

you can live very long with rabies no i think you go quick once you get rabies i think that's why they we're not joking about rabies everybody my cousin No, you know what? I've never known anyone who had rabies. Can't even fake it. I had a horse's wife. No. No, no, no.

I never knew anyone. I heard myself saying it. Yeah, I'm lying. I'm just straight up lying. No. How many people does rabies kill a year? I don't, I, I, first of all, I don't think it's a lot, but I do think it's like, I do think it's like very fatal. Like, I don't think, oh, yeah.

I don't think you're supposed to fuck around with rabies at all. There's no, there's no way to, like, yeah. Um. Let's see here Okay, there are fewer than 10 human rabies cases reported in the United States every year Oh, that's good Oh, that feels like something that we don't need to raise awareness on then Oh, well, what about all these banners we just made?

What about the car wash we did this past weekend? If it's under 10, I feel like the right amount of nobody needs to know about it, knows about it. You know what I'm saying? Okay. Okay. Are you telling me that our Hey, Riddell, Riddell presents rabies car wash was for nothing this past weekend. Okay. I feel fucking stupid. I have the worst sunburn I've ever had.

We have a whole slate of November episodes that were Patreon, Rabies Awareness, November is now flush down the drain. So we have to trash our parody Muppet Ravies? This is a nightmare, guys. Muppet Rabies took us like six years. When your dog gets kind of weird And he bites you on the hand Why are there so many songs about rabies The Fomers, the Frothers and you

There's two There's two, there's the one that I'll sing first There's this one I know that it's probably deadly And we brought back to that one Muppet From the Christmas Carol that's kind of like Underwater or whatever That ghost Muppet that's kind of like underwater

You know I'm talking about? No, I don't This crazy scary Muppet that's in the Muppet Christmas Carol that's They like filmed a Muppet in water And it looks at a drowned Muppet Kind of I mean he's already a ghost I'll send a picture at some point

No, I'm okay I don't send me a picture of a drowned Muppet Especially after I forgot what we were talking about Well, here's the thing. I need to send a picture because Aaron might want to buy it in the upcoming Muppet auction. You guys, I need, I need, I need two weeks off. Two weeks. I need two weeks off.

I guess. Whatever. I guess. Good news, bad news. Which do you want first? Bad news. Good news. Oh, interesting.

I'll do good news first. So actually What it says here Where did it go? So actually Human rabies is extremely Ragged in the United States. In the United States

There's only one or two cases reported annually Annually. Reported. It says under 10 previously Now it says one or two reported. But the bad news is globally

Deaths from rabies about 59,000. Where was that? Globally from rabies that we've been making light of about 59,000 people. Okay. So, Casey, what we're going to do is cut out me singing a song about it. Why are there

songs? No, you know, you know the part of talking about. Casey, what we're going to do is the part where I was thinking as Herbert the frog thinking about rape. Unfortunately, we need it. It was too long. If it's under 30 seconds, we can cut it, but we need it for content at this point. So what we're going to do is we're going to read the whole Wikipedia article before we jump in into singing about it. I'm good. Erin, this is what I'm talking about. Oh, yes. You should have just said the ghost of Christmas past. Oh, is that who she is? Yeah, she's like, I hate her. Oh, she's horrible. That's her. That's her. We're rabies and rabies. Adel. Remember five seconds ago? Fifty-nine thousand people. Oh, shit. Casey, here's what we're going to do.

Nope. Okay, okay. Everybody, let's just calm down for one second. Okay. Okay. And here's how we handle this. Here's how we handle this. We do an actual car wash for... We'll split the difference. We'll split the difference. Casey, just cut the song the I sing about race. Okay. Hold on. You don't not. Don't know. Don't know. Don't know. The most egregious. Okay. Okay. Hold on. We all agree the one of the one of the one of the one of. I did was the worst. It was in the most poor taste. We'll just cut that one. Of course. Yeah, that's true.

I'll repeat what JPC's saying. It was, this is how we rabies. Come on, give me a little credit. Give me a little credit. Fine. It was something better. It was rabies up your life by the Spice Girls. Yeah, no, I think I would have gone with like, hit me rabies one more time or something like,

I would go baby. Oh, rabis. Raybis, rabis, rabis. I was like, rabis, rabis, oh, rabis. In the United States. Rabis, rabis. This is probably doing very well globally. This is probably causing a lot of strife and pit.

Guys, I've been publishing this episode live. Is that? Okay, well, we're fucked. This was not my fault. If I had known how serious it was, I would not have joked about it. But, guys, what is good news is I just realized that we are. Me, my pretty rabies. Don't do this

Because it'd be harder to cut around Take me home tonight 59,000 souls to see the light Kip's A Guys, we are exact one to one That's a tribute to them For the Christmas Carol ghosts I am obviously

Oh my God, that's what I'm doing For the Christmas episode this year Dibbs Is bidding on that and like ghost? No, no, no, I'm saying I am the girl We'll have the three of them They live together

I'm the ghost of Christmas past Adel, you're obviously the ghost of Christmas present. And then, JBC, you're like a horrible death one from the future. Yeah, he's the... Am I going to have to see this movie or can I pick it up from context? This is not a movie. This is a Patreon episode that we're doing.

Does that make me rabies? Okay, guys. Does that make me rabies? You guys, when we're all in court, they're going to play this. Like, when you're in court, they're going to play it. You know what I mean? Like, you're going to hear this back. They'll never get to our case.

Do you know how backlog they are? No, this is the type of bullshit people are focusing on these. days to distract everybody. Aaron, it's so much backlog. It's going to be years before they get to us. It's going to be at least two and a half years. Plus, it'll be like the ICC or something. It'll be like the International Criminal Court.

That shit doesn't matter at all. Yeah, Aaron, we're fine. I get put up in front of the ICC all the time. It's me and Nen Yahoo. We're both just like, yes, it's a fucking voicemail. Not the one you think. The Israel guy, that one. We're talking about that Yahoo from Philadelphia.

Well, wait, he went to high school. That's where he's from. I don't remember if we've done a single riddle. We did a food one. Oh, good. So people should be pretty pleased. They did a food one. Despite being short of money and asking his dad to send some amount of cash,

the boy at boarding school received a letter from his dad Instead, the letter did not contain any money, but rather a lecture on the perils of extravagance. Strangely, the boy was still content with the response. Why is this? So basically, a kid at boarding school asked his dad for money because he didn't have any and his dad wrote a letter and the boy was still thrilled that his dad wrote a letter. Okay. Because the letter is made of gold. Aaron, that's not a bad guess.

You are correct that the letter in itself is valuable. His dad's signature is worth a billion dollars. Now, Aaron, you're very hot. His dad is George Washington. The signature is what's on all the money. You're zoomed in, zoom out slightly. Zoom out just slightly. His dad's famous.

His dad is a famous player. The boy's dad is a famous person so he was able to sell the dad's letter and gain extra money. Okay. I kind of got it, though, right? Yeah, you did. You absolutely did. Okay, great. Who's buying a letter from, what is this famous person that this letter that he's buying?

Hey, JAPC, real talk. You're telling me if I was Paul Giamani's son and I came to you and said, I got a letter for my dad. You wouldn't want to buy it off me? It's a letter where Paul Giamatti is like admonishing his son for his extravagance and teaching him the fiscal responsibility. And that's appealing to me as like a collector of Paul Giamatti paraphernalia. And something about wine, I'm sure. There are people with that, whatever is going on in their brains that would really like to see that. And I just don't understand who those people are fundamentally.

I do want to see a scene. I was going to say, JPC, I have the craziest alerts, e-mail alert set for bullshit that you would never dream of buying. So let's not. Tell us one. Aaron, tell us one. Well, if you must. Ghost from Muppet Christmas. Yes.

Stuff like that. Well, if you must know. Yes. I'd spend my dream since I was a child to own the Bob Mackey Jewel Barbies from the mid-90s. Okay. They're like not the singer Jewel. They're like the jewel-toned Barbies. And I figured that I don't really have the space to buy five big Barbies and have them around and still kind of look normal.

But I did buy the prints of them. this past weekend. I got an eBay alert for $20. Now I have the prints of the, those Barbies that I liked, like the illustrations of them. And then I'm going to frame them and I'm going to put them in my bathroom.

Very cool. The closest that I've ever come to understanding this, Aaron, is going, walking inside of a planet Hollywood and being like, whoa, the toilet from look who's talking to. Exactly. But I would say that's a little insulting. Oh. Because of the toilet.

You said the toilet. I feel like we could think of another. bit of movie memorabilia. You didn't say like, you didn't say like Schwarzenegger's jacket from Terminator, like Rockies Gloves from Balboa. I'm also looking for,

you know, Currier and Ives. I'm looking for Christmas decor from them. Sorry, from who? Courier and Ives, they're like a company

that they like did prints. They did like glassware and plates and print stuff. They're in the career and knives. They're in Jingle Bells. That's Jingle Bells, right? That's a Christmas song. Whatever.

They're in the song, Jingle Bells? Yeah. By Currier Nives. career and knives these wonderful things are the things we remember all through our lives what what part of jingle bells is this uh wait i'll look it up i just got berenstein baird i just got my fucking brain berenstein also adle i do remember you wanted to see a scene and i'm so sorry okay no this is more interesting all the way oh i find it two and one who don't even do that part of the song

that's the one part of the song that nobody needs this is like this is like learning that johnson and johnson's in the happy birthday song or something. Well, this is also kind of like when someone's like, yeah, like the cheers theme is actually like a four-minute song and it's about, it's called Suicide is Painless? And you're like, huh? Like, is there way more to that song that I like, have never written by his 14-year-old son? Oh, it's Slay Ride, not jingle bells. It's Slay Ride.

Oh. Well, who fucking cares if it's in Slay Ride? It's got to be somewhere in here. Hold on. Again, Eric, that's the part of Slay Ride that everybody knows. Are you just singing the part that everybody knows? There's a happy feeling nothing in the world. Can't buy when you pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie.

It'll nearly be like a picture print by Courier and knives. See, I always thought they were saying from Currier and I, and I was like, Currier's maybe like the neighbor and I is, of course, the person singing. So it's like, These wonderful things are the things we remember all do our lives. Yes, Currier, C-U-R-R-I. I-E-R and I-V-E-E-S. I bought a bell recently at a store in Maine by Currier and Ives. And then I did a deep dive.

And now I'm just, I'm looking to collect some of their Christmas decor. That's pretty cool. So I got an eBay alert for that, but I'm not going to spend any more than like $10. It's like if I was like, that's the toilet that John Travolta died on in Pulp Fiction. I'd be like, holy smokes. Well, the bathrooms at Planet Hollywood are awesome. Okay, wait, no, those are not. Those toilets are, it doesn't matter.

I had to eat many meals in there because of how I wasn't treating the tables appropriately. Well, the scene that I want to see is now changed. I want to see JPC as someone on a tour at Graceland who just wants to see the bathroom. Can we go back to the bathroom? I actually don't want to see a scene. Oh, wait. No, Adel, I want to do that scene. You just set up.

You're both on the tour. Ready? Here we go. Elvis obviously didn't get to spend too much of his life here because he was always on the road traveling and then obviously he's really associated with, sorry? If we have to use the bathroom on the tour, can we go upstairs? If someone has to go to the bathroom really, really bad upstairs, can we go upstairs?

We have our bathrooms right by the entrance. They're full. That's not the one he died on, though, right? No, also we're... I don't care about that. I just have to use the bathroom and those are full. The inside the house, actually none of these rooms are usable. There is no running water here because this is more of a museum.

This is for display only. You actually can't even get into the bathroom. I'll scoop everything out like I normally do, but I just want to go use it. No, sorry. Sir, you can't use any of the facilities inside this house. You can't even sit on one of the chairs, let alone the toilet. Hey, Steve, hey, Steve. Yeah.

I'll do the thing. Okay, do it. Excuse me one second. I have to go behind this door. Sir, you can't, sir. Excuse me, hello. Screw, hey, lady. It's me.

I'm back. Sir, put on clothes. My friend. Sure. Sir. Sir. He can't do the voice if he's wearing clothes It's kind of like a

It's an image It's kind of like Dumbo's feather What? It's kind of like Dumbo's feather You're sneaking like a cartoon character Up the stairs other guy Me? Yes

Don't perceive me No you think that this is my first rodeo This is you think this is my first rodeo You think that there's not freaks like you coming in here every day Trying to use that toilet We'll have three security guards That work as a team Hurry ya

Ow, man Hey, Steve, sorry, Steve, sorry Aaron, are you happy we saw this scene? Yes Don't yuck my yum A team of freaks Don't ever ask the follow-up question Are you happy we saw this seat?

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to Aaron, would you be capable Of providing a distraction in real life. Oh, no. Think about me. I wouldn't either, yeah. I'm so bad at lying.

I'm so bad at talking on the phone. I'm so bad at social interactions. Yesterday I went to an engagement party, and I was zero for like 60 of social attractions. I didn't do a good job, not even one time. Like, I literally was like, why did I even fucking go? I should have stayed home. I could not get any of them to feel normal.

What were some of the examples of a bad, of what, like, of a bad socialist? internet show. Zero for 60 is a lot. Yeah, like, I just was making people feel weird and uncomfortable I could tell. Like, I was misreading social cues. Like, it was just really bad. Do you ever? Were you talking about some things? Like, you shouldn't be talking about? Yes, I was over sharing. I accidentally threw someone like under the bus. I, I was making jokes that weren't landing. Like, I literally afterwards was like, I think I might be a bad person. Like, I panicked. And then, like, I like accidentally also shared one of my friends, like, real opinions about a thing. thing to someone who I don't know they would like you guys I was like out of control at this party

dead sober too by the way it was a daytime party and I just like could not figure it out and if you're at that party I am so sorry that's so that's so funny it does feel like it does feel like like a sliding downhill where you're just like okay I I stepped in it once and I I never got my footing back 100% it was like like truly like falling down hitting every it was like a like a pinball machine like I was hitting everything and then also it was like a party where it was like very nice cool people at a couple that I adore but you guys it was like every every comedian you follow on TikTok that's like an impressionist or like a funny person that lives in LA was at this thing and you guys I could not fucking figure it out and then I looked up and there was a girl I went to

college with who I had no idea knew and I was like am I fucking hallucinating what is happening how did you how do you know these comedy people I was I was losing my mind What are the chances? What are the chances that everybody at that party just thought you were like perfectly nice and fine? No, I'm telling you, JPC, you have to believe me this time. I did not do. You know what? Ask Becca Barish.

Okay. This time. I literally texted Becca Barish when I was leaving being like, oh my God, just forget everything I didn't said. I'm so sorry. I just could not figure it out. Poor Becca. Friend of the show. Was Becca there?

Was Becca there there to like witness? Yeah, Becca was one of the people that I could not fucking figure. figured out. I felt horrible. Poor Becca. I said, Becca was so nice. I, like, and so awkwardly pulled Becca up. Becca was, like, talking to a group of people, and I was so awkward and was like, and just, like, grabbed Becca's arm. And then Becca was so sweet to talk to me. And then I just, you guys, I could not fucking do it. It was so bad. I'm like sweating, just thinking about it. That's so fun. No, it's not fun. You just skipped the email again, JPC. That's so fun. No, it's fun. It's fun. It's a fun story, Aaron. It's like a, it's a good. It's a good

fun story. It's fun and it's fine. Aaron, it's better than your A-B-Song. Anything to plug or promote? We cut that, didn't we? We cut JPC's song. We cut my song. That's all we had time for.

I'd like to say sorry. Sorry for everything I did or said this week at any point at any time. You guys, I really, I need to just have two hours where I'm breathing and I'll be okay and I'll be back and I'll be perfect tomorrow. And that's it for me, Adel, anything to plug or promote? come see hey ridder riddle on the road you can go to hey ridder riddle.com to find out all our tour dates and get tickets if there's any available for the cities you're interested in jpc anything to plug or promote Aaron one time I was talking to a person at IL and I said their name and then they said what and I said their name again

and they were like my name is this and I said oh yeah I guess I fucking forgot your name Jesus Christ Who was that person? Are they okay? Are they famous now? No, they were actually kind of a mean person. But I didn't know that at the time. Oh, okay. I didn't learn that they were a mean person until much later. That's okay.

I was terrible to everybody who was at that party and they're all nice. So that doesn't really apply to my situation. Come see us on tour. If you listen to this on the day, it comes out. I think we might still have some tickets to our Denver show. So if you're in Denver, come see us in Denver. And then in November, the week before Thanksgiving, we have tickets in Philadelphia, New York, and maybe Washington, D.C. The Boston ones all sold out.

So go to hey, riddle.com.com slash live and look for some tickets. And then listen to Gums Shoes and Dragons. It's a fun podcast. We're having a lot of fun over there. And that's it for me. Sweet. Jupiter. Sorry.

Aaron Keith and John Patrick Collins Casey Tony did the editing and are he parents in the music logo created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Napurice And one two, three, four hate riddle

And if you or someone you know have been bitten by an animal Please get yourself checked for a rabies That's a really weird curbit impression. Oh, I'm pooping in this toilet. This is where he died. Who's that over there? Ooh, I'm the ghost.

Oh, no. Hey there, Kevin's and Bridgett. If you like that, you're going to love this week's episode. We finally get to King Mumbles Castle. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. slash hey, rental, rental, by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month.

Plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a headgum podcast.