Hey Riddle Riddle - #390: Butt Smokes a Pipe

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

We do our annual celebrity death preditions for 2026! Happy New Year!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hey, it's Tignotaro from The Handsome Podcast. And I'm May Martin. And I'm Fortune Feemster, also from The Handsome Podcast. And we wanted to let you know that we made a very fun special episode of our show, sponsored by Squarespace that's up now on our YouTube page for you to watch. Handsome finally formed a band and recorded a hit song live in the podcast studio. and we documented the whole process for you to watch.

It's by far the most ambitious and inspiring moment on our show to date. I feel like we can't say much more about it without giving too much away. So just go watch us, make complete fools of ourselves, and have the best time ever. Or become the newest pop sensations. That's right. Go to YouTube.com slash handsomepod or listen wherever you get your podcasts. That's YouTube.com slash handsome pod to hear us record a song live. See you at the Grammys.

Oh, for sure, buddy. For sure. Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com slash handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no.

I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah. And we host the show, what's our podcast here on HeadGum.

But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed. Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled. They were, they were, that we didn't have a website for our show yet. They were like, you don't have a website? What are you guys? Like kindergartners?

They wanted to do something about that. So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests and very web savvy guests. Should we tell them who it was? Let's, we could play 20 questions. I don't think we have time for that. Is it a person? No, it's not.

It's Finn Wolfhard. Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website. Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website. Thank you, you had some amazing ideas for this. Well, I was sort of driving the thing. I was sort of like clicking and... And I was like, let's put a little... Let's put some widgets in there.

I was talking about widgets. You kept on using that phrase widgets. Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there. You might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website. Just know that there's a hippo video and know that you're going to want to watch that. We had a lot of fun making this episode. We had a lot of fun making this website.

I think you're going to have a fun time listening to it and maybe even watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present. to you. Yeah, yeah, this is a gift for you, okay? It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website, sponsoring the episode, and for supporting creators across the Headgum Network. Go check out the bonus episode. What's our website from what's our podcast on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts? Go to Squarespace.com slash Beck and Kyle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Beck and Kyle. Yes, sir. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website on a me.

Get it, Kyle. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Hey. Both of the network goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse was a big Friday.

One, two, four, eight, and a little, one, one, three, four, one, one,

two, three, four, Hey, Rick, Riddle, Peanutbutter.com Did you say peanut butter.com? Nope. Will Adel, Aaron, that's the start of the episode. We have, we're back.

It's Hey, Riddle, Riddle. It's your favorite guys. It's the brand new year, 2026. We finally made it. And as you all know, and I'm JPC as well. And I'm Adorify. And I'm okay. It's a little tradition on the show every year.

People know we record these a little bit advanced so we can take a little bit of a holiday break so it leaves us a little bit of a gap. But it's 2026 and we have to say who do we think is dying in 2026? There's a lot of people that deserve it. But it's time to make our yearly predictions, okay? Okay. Okay. I'm whole. I'm going to say it. Number one with a bullet. And I'm not saying that's how he's going to. I was going to say, be careful, be careful.

It's a bullet point. And I'm not saying it's a point that's going to get him either. Pop-I-the-Sailer Man. If you think about it, Pop-I-the-Sailer Man, got to be in his, like, mid-hundreds at this point. Yeah, too good for too long, this guy. Yeah. Great diet, obviously.

A lot of iron. Uh-huh. And chicken sandwiches? Uh-huh. But smokes a pipe, so. But smokes a pipe. Well, but smokes a pipe. Stop telling us your search history.

Wait, but smokes a pipe. But smokes a pipe. But smokes a pipe, a pipe. But smokes a pipe feels like one of the drawings my friend Joe would give me in, like, fourth grade to make me laugh. Let's see. Who's going to kick the bucket this year? We're not saying that's how they go out. Well, I think Alfredi Newman.

Okay. Aneurism. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Aaron did you were, you're... Oh, now I can only think about Popeye dying. Who else is going to go out this year? I got to say, the penguin.

The TV show? Yep, I think the TV show. I think a second season is due and then I think it's getting canceled. I'm going to call it. Tom Cruise. Wow, all right. Dead is a doorknale by December 31st.

Doing one of his little stunts, Aaron. Yeah. That's how he'd like to go out. I think he really would like to go out that way. solidify himself as like the last action hero? You know how like when a show has like a ton of hype behind it

and they announced that it gets renewed before the first season before the first episode drops? I think they did that with the original Game of Thrones. I think that there was like there were so many people pirating it before Game of Thrones season one came out that before the first episode dropped

they were like we renewed it for a season two we're calling our shot here. I would love it if they did the opposite and not cancel the show like they don't air the episodes but like midway through the first episode of like a new prestige show coming out they're just like and this show has not been renewed for season two enjoy all of season one we really fucked up with this quote it's not great it's not great still watch it all we're going to air it all it's going to come out every week but uh oh boy we messed up i think

we're also going to find Elvis alive um on like some Polynesian island and then i think he's going to die this year. Love that. I would love it if that's the way that you found out, though. It's not that you find him alive. They just announce, hey, guys, sorry about this. Elvis has actually died. The real Elvis has passed away.

We take you now. You don't get a chance to see Elvis. It's just a toilet. You still died on a toilet. Good news, bad news, guys. John Lennon faked his death, but he did just pass away. this morning from complications

from surgery. But to make it so that you don't have to change your head cannon, we did have, oh, what's the guy that shot John Lennon and Aaron? Oh, Cameron Winter. Popeye. We had that guy come and shoot him again.

He was already dead. Hinkley, yeah, right? Yeah. Or no. Before, John Hinkley? Mark David Chapman? Mark David Chapman. It's got to be Mark David Chapman. Before we called, before the doctor's called Time of Death, we had Mark David Chapman come in one more time and shoot John Linnit.

Just so you don't have to change the way he died in your head. You just have to adjust the year. That's nice for you. You just add 45 years and then you're good. 46 because he's dying next year. Yeah, because he's done. This year. Because it is this year now.

Oh, right. It's 2026. Yeah, we're not saying that John Litton. Do you say peanut butter.com. Okay. Let's start our in memoriam. Imagine all the people Elvis on a toilet

Tom Cruise literally kicking a bucket Pop-bye Forearms exploding If they did an in memoriam at the Oscars And it was all cartoons And then one human being I think that would be

They need to do more in-memorium jokes I know it's always like a somber serious moment But I think that needs some comedy No Don't put a joke next to my black and white photo when I die. Come on. Don't do a joke.

It's, they're showing celebrities and then it's Betty Boop and then Aaron and everyone's still laughing for Betty Boop. Or there's like way more applause for Betty Boop and then it's sort of like I think a lot of coughs for Aaron. All those in Memorial photos

should be super serious but they should do one funny one like when Jeff Daniels dies they just do the gif of him on the toilet from dumb and dumber and everyone's like, Come on, man. That's awesome. That's the move. And then everyone's, like, still laughing, and then it's, like, Helen Buren.

And they're like, oh, well, come on. Come on. Helen Bairn's clip has just run off Jeff Daniels blasting diarrhea laughter. It's all her scenes from Caligula and be like, what are we doing? Come on. If you as an actor ever did full frontal nudity, that is your in-memorium thing. Because, honestly, if you did full frontal nudity, you probably did it at the time in your life. if we were like, yeah, let's go, man.

Like you listen good, yeah. Let's show this dong off to this confused. What was, Willem Defoe's thing is confusing, this confusing penis. Oh, yeah. Oh, GPC, I purposely hit delete on that. Did you not know? Please don't hand me things that I've already deleted from my brain. It's like Adel processes Kyle X, Y.

It's like it's an instant drag to trash. I'm something of a scientist myself. In Adel's defense, if I were Adel, and I was, looking through the files of my brain, and I saw a Kyle XY file. I would immediately drag it to the trash. I go, I'm not going to need this. Kyle X, Y is what you name the file on your desktop where you hide your porn because you don't know what's clicking in the thing. No, you know where you hide it is in the porn folder. Because if you're a comedian and you have a porn folder on your desktop, they're like, ha ha, that must be like your important documentation. No,

it's literal. That's where I keep all my internet porn. It's just the app for the internet in my porn folder. People aren't saving porn like that anymore, right? I said I mentioned that, but I was like, that feels like something that I did back in my, like, early 20s when there wasn't the same access. You would have to, like, download things. How were you...

Dead silence. Yeah, it feels like post-Limewire. That's not a thing. Yeah. Were people downloading porn on, like, Kazah Napster and Limewire? Oh, Aaron. So her child. Well, Aaron, I think

I was slightly before my time of when I was interested in port. So I don't know. I feel like there's a time on those sites where it was like, oh, like a friend of mine or my roommate is downloading the Dave Matthews

Lily Sessions or something, the white sessions, whatever those are called. And then it finishes downloading and somebody pranked downloaders and named it something else so that it, you know, they're downloading porn. It's just hardcore porn.

It was like the original Rickroll, like, bram, bram, bra, bra, bra, bram. Back in those days, you could also, it would also be like, oh, I didn't know this was a weird owl song I've never heard of and you download it and it's just like not a weird owl song. It's just like something that's like mislabeled that is like, it's like a parody song

but it's not weird owl and you're like, why would anyone, what is going on with this? It's a white guy with acoustic guitar singing gin and juice. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know how porn website. give like a breakdown of like what people are watching in different parts of the country and what different demographics are watching i want to what's going on in your neck of them women are you watching the 6 p.m. daily porn news here's what's going on in your neck of the woman

holy did you just say peanut butter.com i think i meant i think i meant that to be more like a blowjob thing but i think it sounded more like a neck of the woman it's not like a phrase that you should say that I didn't mean it in like a killer way or whatever That's so funny But I want the data on like Where people are getting their porn

Like OnlyFans has had Such a renaissance Which is actually I think great Because then you're paying people directly And who Are in it And you're They're not being as exploited

I hope as they were before But Only Fanisans Yes Only Fanisans And that's how history Will remember this time But are people, like I wonder what people are downloading stuff and like where people are getting it?

See, I'll go on a limit of vulnerable here and say that I'm not, I know about OnlyFans, but I've never used OnlyFans and I've never like subscribed to an OnlyFans. But the amount of interaction that I have with OnlyFans is sometimes seeing Reddit posts that are like the top five OnlyFans creators are making $1.8 billion and you're like, oh, wow, that seems pretty lucrative for six people. Let me just open a window, start out of the count. I don't exactly know what the breakdown is. I think it's probably with most things where it's like the average podcast has six listeners, you know, because there's just so many podcasts. So it's like it's probably that we're like the lower end of the, but you know what? Maybe that's a nice thing that you can do. Everyone go and find an only fan's creator who only has like five followers and throw them a follow.

Give them five bucks a month. There's a. Help out the little guy making homemade porn just for themselves. Another Headgum podcast. I'm actually not sure if they're still going. I think they are called Girls on Porn that I listen to. Oh, yeah. And I learned so much.

And there's, I think that in the last like 10 years, there has been a renaissance in like ethical consumption of porn. Of like it being better to pay a little to make sure that no one is being exploited or taken advantage of or just not being paid at all. That makes sense I mean Consider out there If you have a little extra money It's like how legalizing sex work

We're like eliminate the pimp profession You know it's like Yeah exactly There are there are like ways to make sex work safer Across the board and less exploitative And the people that insist that like sex work is bad Are the people that are like actively legislating To make it more restrictive

And thus like letting a criminal underbelly like exist in it And you're not going to believe that those people have really predictable porn searches. Turns out they love porn. Okay, looking at notes. Okay, so we covered which porn is going to die in 2026. This is a riddle podcast, technically still. I love this little riddle podcast.

I don't care what you say, JPC and Addle. Huh? What? I love it too. They love it too. We love it too. It's chugging along like a woman's neck. should we do some

I'm going to find a way to make it right should we do some riddles guys Would you like to do some riddles? Yeah It's your episode Your Old Man Puzzles I'm Old Man Puzzles next week

Yeah So I'm gonna Puzzles the week after that Yeah that's how it works So I'm gonna take notes Well hold on JPC And then after that Your Old Man Puzzles

Yeah don't forget Then your old man puzzles after that You know what else I realized For the first episode of the year We try to give something up last year was last year Googling fail

hey guys let's not do this whole song and dance we fail within the first let's give up song and dances oh that's harder for Aaron Aaron do you want to do it no I wish we could play a montage of like no Australian accents this year

and like two weeks later it's Adel being like good night no Googling this year 10 minutes later all right well you know what we're not going to give anything up this year then fine fuck it we're just going to do the show and we're going to make it fucking real for you why are we withholding let's let's add let's add let's let's go ahead and say that we're all going to start doing something yes let's be active let's not we're not going to be

withholding anything we're going to be adding something so what should we add hmm you know how in a musical sometimes uh like in the middle of like a song they'll just do like 30 seconds and when you're listening to it you're like what is this but you know that what's happening is a dance break. Let's maybe do that for the podcast. You won't hear us. You won't hear us dance, but you will hear 30 seconds of music and just know that we're like going hard on a dance. JPC, I love this idea. Whatever we remember to do this this year, I'm going to set up a scene and it's a no dialogue scene. And it will just be 30 seconds of music, okay? And we're going to be doing a lot of really funny physical comedy that you cannot see. And you will never see, but just, like, picture it in your head like you're listening to a Broadway cast recording and there's a dance break happening.

So, that being said. If you set up a scene in an era where it's like me and Adel doing that, can you not in the scene be going, oh, oh, oh, oh. You want me to do that or you don't want me to do it? I don't know. Well, it depends. I think it's case by case. Okay, ready. Here's a scene I want to see.

You guys are. She's just looking up. She has nothing here. No, no, no, I got it. I got, I got, I got. JPC, you are a museum security guard, and you are protecting a painting, and Adel, you are a thief that's sneaking in to get it, and all sorts of hijinks kind of ensue. But you're saying that this is the dance, this is the dance? This is 30, well, like, Casey's going to play some music to underscore your scene. So that, here we go.

and no dialogue. Hold on, hold on, hold on. What we're doing a scene that's underscoring it with music? Is that just what we do on the show? Yeah, but you're not talking at all. Oh, thank God. Okay, good.

Yeah, you guys are not, you can't say a single word, you can't make any noises. Does my guy have an accent? What? Does my guy have an accent? Yeah, of course. Just for my own personal.

Yeah, and if you want to set the scene in any sort of way of what's going on before it starts. Okay. And can I make Mr. Bean like noises? No, no noise. This is a silent movie. Mr. Bean like noises.

Well, like that. Yeah, but that's going to be drowned out. So people should know that he's making noises like that. Can Adela and I make noises and talk and then Casey just mutes it all later? Um, yeah. I love Aaron. Yeah. I love Aaron actually considering it too to be like, no, no, no, no.

No, we can't do this. Just completely silent, 30 seconds starting. But there's a setup. There's a setup to the scene before. So this is, then people will picture what you guys are doing in it. Got it. Got it.

What if we say lines of dialogue and then Casey turns those lines of dialogue into music? Casey, do you got time for that? So me being like, I'm going to steal this Renoir becomes like, Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Do the Eric clap the guitar talk. No, this is just going to be 30 seconds of sneaking music.

Everybody, picture the scene I just described. And scene. Okay, let's do some riddles. That was me calling the end of the scene here. I loved it. Adel, that is truly the most impressive physical comedy I've ever seen in my life. That was some Danny Kay shit, Adel. Thank you.

Wow. Do you think people will realize that I slipped in eight shit four seconds into that scene? It just spent the rest of the time on the floor, my knee. People are, we're like almost eight years into the show. People picture the exact right thing during that time. That's right. Speaking of the exact right thing, why don't we move on to some riddles in this first riddle is from Olive in Austin. Olive writes, this is a country without a land. Its kings and dignitaries are lifeless. If the king is annihilated, no one is left alive. Old country buffet? Yes, but different. You guys are both right?

Chess. Aaron, recently in New York, I saw chess, but different. And how was it? Different. Yep. They tried to make it very topical. One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster. Is that a song from chess?

Yes. Oh, yeah. They did a thing in chess where, and here's the thing, JPC, I, for up until like three years ago, I thought it was just like a top 40 hit in the 80s, but it turns out it's linked to a musical. But in this new version of- Originally? Originally? In this new version of chess, they take Aaron Tevette, is that his name? Tevate, I think.

Tevate? And while he's singing that song, he's like pantless because he was, I guess, you know, doing this thing. And like two or three people pick him up in the air. And as they like, as he like spins in the air, they bring him down into a pair of pants and then he zips up his pants. And the place went nuts. Yeah, hold on. It's hard to describe what happened. He basically got flipped into a pair of pants.

paddle. I would like to see a scene. It's completely silent. And it's Attle being flipped into a pair of pants. Hit it. I just want to say this is, this is not that impressive. This is how I get my toddler into pants. I will say most days. That's so funny. The song Nobody's Side from chess. I don't know if you remember this. It was a real rock bottom wake up call for me. It was my most listened to song in my Spotify wrapped for 2023. Are we doing okay? No. I I think I listen to it like 300-something times. Oh, my God.

I don't want to make this a referendum on chess, the musical. But if you told me there was a musical called chess, I would assume it was about, like, Queen's Gambit type, you know, like, this is going to be a musical about the board game chess. What if I told you if it was about the Cold War? I mean, I guess that's close enough, right? Because I feel like, you know, chess plus the Cold War. And also chess. Yeah.

And I love triangle. So that's what it's about. It's about the Cold War and chess. That's for us to know and for you to find out But it's mostly about a guy fluffing into a pair of pants Yeah Everything that we were saying about chess And I was like I don't

I can't make heads or tails of what this No let's just live in your periphery forever All right that makes more sense And it is Jess, you got it It is chess You got it, you got it, you got it Wow Aaron And it is also old country buffet

It's both We can move on It grows in the woods It hangs in a shop When you touch it, it cries It grows in the woods, it hangs in a shop. When you touch it, it cries. Yeah, Aaron, I was going to say icicle would work maybe like if when you touch it, you cried.

Onion sickle. Oh, I love it when Jimmy Johns puts out the onion sickle every year. The McRib is back and the onion sickle. Available now. Cold, cold onions. Brought to you by Jimmy John. Maybe John so you could smell us down the street. Aaron, you've been out in the West Coast for so long.

Do you miss the icicles? Do you miss the icicles in the snow? I did see some pictures of New York in the snow yesterday, and I just missed it. I was like, it would be so fun to put on some snow boots and waddle over to a diner right now and get like a coffee and a waffle at a diner. Like I just, I also, I do think that cold weather, like, how? helps your internal rhythm more. Like, I have a hard time with time now that I live in California.

Like, nothing really feels real. You kind of feel like you're living on a movie set. And I love, like, when trees change, you're like, yeah, time is passing. This makes sense. In winter, I have an excuse to rest more. And out here, it's just, like, gorgeous every day. And you're like, huh, what's do with this? Yeah, hard to track the passage of time.

I want to very quickly, speaking of Jimmy Johns, who's the guy, The lead from the new Knives Out movie, Josh. Oh, Mr. Challengers. Yeah, I love him. That guy, the British guy. Josh O'Connor? Yeah, I think so. Josh Connor.

He did an interview where he was talking about his love of America. What he loves about America is discovering fast food chains. And he said he was shooting something in Ohio and he's like, I was in Ohio and there's a strip mall and it was just this row of amazing and they had a Jimmy Johns and I love. It was like, I love Jimmy Johns. He's, like, going off on Jimmy Johns. He's got to go on doughboys. This really makes me want to eat Jimmy Johns.

Like, I eat Jimmy Johnson's too much a week anyway. I was going to say, there's a lot of things that make me really want Jimmy Johnson's, like driving past a Jimmy Johns, thinking about it. Thinking about Jimmy Johns. Seeing a person named Johns, you know, like Jimmy. Eating a Jimmy Jones. They have toasted sandwiches now. Let's talk about, let's just do doughboys.

That sounds better. Let's do Jimmy Jones. Let's do a doughboys. It's not an icicle. It's not an onion. It's not, I will say it's not food. It grows in the woods. It hangs in a shop.

When you touch it, it cries. Is it a rose? Because it cries your blood? Your blood. Your blood. Is it a plant? It's, uh, oh, interesting. It's, no, it's not a plant.

Hmm. Saying it grows in the woods is a little bit like, intentionally misleading, like, uh... Paper. Oh. Paper's close, Aaron. Wow. You're thinking of the right, like, it grows in the woods.

Like paper technically grows in the woods, you know? Hmm. Mushrooms in the woods hangs in a window. It's not a living thing, but it's made from a living thing, I would say. You said it hangs in a window or hangs in a shop? Hings in a shop. Like, it's for sale. And I believe that you would, like, hang it for display.

I don't know. Do you have another hint? Um, when you touch it, it cries, uh, um, think that like, do you feel, uh, that we were like talking about earlier? Who is that? It's a, it's not the bad guy. Clapton, right? It's not Jethro Toll, is it? It's not Clapton. Peter Frampton. Peter Frampton. Is it a guitar? It's not a guitar, Aaron, but that's guitar is so close. On my guitar, gently we. Guitar is as close as you'll, as you've ever been to the answer.

Violin. Adel, hit us with that guitar solo. Oh. I do want to see a scene. Hold on. No, no, no. It's late in the evening. Adel, you are going to be playing the owner of a violin shop.

Aaron, you're coming in to, like, you want to buy a violin. But, Adel, you don't let Aaron touch the violins. You just tell her how each one would sound by, like, mimicking the violin. But you will not let customers touch your violins. Welcome in. Beonveno. This is Victor's violins. Please peruse, peruse.

Amazing. I've heard incredible things. I am actually with the Seattle Orchestra, and I am actually looking for a Strativari. I'm looking to invest in one of the best you've got. So do you have a backroom with some of your nicer? You cannot afford that Stratavardi. Looking at you, looking at how you're dressed. I've got about $100,000. saved up so I feel

ready to go. Oh my apologies for grabbing you by the shoulders you can afford a Stratavari And let me just, could I try this one? No no no no no slap You're disgusting You slapped yourself so hard across the face Because I cannot bear to watch

Disgusting little fingers Touch these beautiful mechanisms Please I appoint a one That you would like to You are interested in buying, please point for Victor which one um uh this one please this one here's close your eyes

now I'm going to put my arm in your hands this one is out of tune do not buy this violin this violin is shit it is out of tune it sounds awful it sounds awful I just feel like you feel self-conscious about the job that you did all right well what about this one I show you this one so that the next one you realize

what a real violin should sound like. Please point to another one. Please point. This one. Okay, Ruth, to point, please just gesture. This one, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Okay? And I'll put a cat in your arms so you have the weight and feel of the violin.

And this one sounds like... This cat is not alive. Oh. No, that is the violin. That cat is a stuffed taxidermid cat. And that is the sound. the violin makes. I was making that. It's sort of a... You know, everyone always says

that you're the best and that you have a really unconventional method. What if I... You just tell me which violin, you think, would work best for me. Of these, of this road. Turn around. Turn around. Turn around. Okay. Lifts up the painting behind the counter. 22 to the left, 14 to the right. 38 to the left.

I forgot the combination. Do you ever written down somewhere, or is it a birthday? I wrote it down and I ate it, and I thought that would be dramatic. It's them. They're like sitting reading a magazine waiting for him to pass it. You know what? I have one behind the counter here. I mean, this year is a Matt Averius, not a Strativarius, Matt Averius.

1932 Philadelphia Oak body single frame Cat guts string Close your eyes All right All in your knees I'll take it Cuts to her in the orchestra

She's playing a dead cat I think those two are going to make it Adel You are so good at selling that violin Thank you, thank you I really wanted to buy it I was like, I don't know anything about violins But I'm like, okay, it's from Philadelphia

It's from the 30s Must be something Stradivarius Is that Stradivarius? Stradivarius I don't know how to pronounce it That's a real thing though Stradivari Stradivari

Yeah Someone will know Sounds like a good violin though The best violin Do you guys know, is there a difference to be a violin and a fiddle? I don't think so, right? How you hold it?

I was just thinking How you play it, how you hold it? Do you call it, is it like a regional thing? Like it's called a fiddle some places and it feels like it feels like in like, I don't know, somewhere in America they were like, we don't play the violin here, we play the fiddle. Yeah. That's what we play.

That's a violin, my man. That's a violin. Okay, here's your next one from Olive. How many bagels can you eat on an empty stomach? one and then your stomach's not empty and then your stomach has bagel for it yes that is that is a classic and five four

and Eric can eat more than you at all kind of showed you up big dog I think he was counting down to his answer which is 50 would you believe that Gemma and I were on the front of the Wall Street Journal for buying a large portion of Jenny's bagel ice cream really wait was this this wasn't recent right this was like four years ago five years ago

do you still have the the the newspaper we never bought a physical copy but um that seems strange did you have like a grandparent send you that that feels like something a grandparent would do i think jama's mom sent us a picture or something yeah i don't that is like a great uh two truths and a lie yeah and also a great indicator of like your legacy like that's the kind of whimsy. Like, you're not on the cover of newspapers robbing banks. Yeah, yeah. You're like, I discovered bagel ice cream and I'm eating it so much,

it's newsworthy. That's awesome. The level of whimsy of that is awesome. When you said Ginny, or when you said Wall Street Journal and bought a large, I was like, oh, he bought stock in like Jenny's ice cream like before the Jenny's ice cream boom. Like, that's awesome. But no, you just bought a large stock of Jenny's ice cream. And then presumably

ate it. Wall Street Journal was like, this one guy really likes it. Slow news day I'd actually like to see a scene I'm going to be your editor at a big time newspaper and you guys are bringing me stories that I don't find particularly newsworthy

but you keep writing about All right boys Get her to my office quick The news keeps going Regardless of how tired we feel And boy do we feel tired We're all going through a divorce Probably like me

guys get it. Oh, Miss Dandelone. Ms. Tandolone, breaking. I got a story. Yeah, what is it? Local man getting a divorce. Is that me? Yes. Johansson? Yes. All right, right up. Six hundred words

I want on my desk by tomorrow. Try to get a quote from my wife, would you? Yes. Absolutely. Mr. Tindolone, Mr. Tentlone, on the way to work today, I saw a dog tied up outside of a coffee shop. Well, presumably his owners were in the coffee shop.

Is this an anecdote? Did you let the dog go? What happened next? No, I sat there and I was imagining what I thought the dog was saying in my mind, kind of like a running dialogue for what was going on inside the dog's mind. I thought I could write that up into an article. Maybe it's a weekly column. Dog thoughts. Make it a comic, and I'll take three weeks of it. It better be funny, and it also has to make me think, one panel. Go. Mr. Tandaloney, Mr. Tendellone. Yes.

How about this? Yesterday, in one 24-hour period, I saw two Mitsubishi Galant's. Holy shit. Now, those don't cause you don't see weekly. And I saw two in a 24-hour period, Mr. Glant. Get our best photographer. And get to the bottom of this. This is front-page news.

Mr. Tadoloni, Mr. Tadoloni, not sponsored content. What about an article? In the title, pitch you on the title alone. The last pair of shoes you'll ever buy. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. The last pair of shoes you'll ever need to buy. Sounds more like an ad. Wait, what car did you say you saw two of?

Mitsubishi Galo. Oh, Galat. Sorry, Mr. Galat. I mean, Tandoloni? All right, and then you saw a dog. What coffee shop was he tied out in front of? It was a Starbucks. It could have been any Starbucks, Mr. Tadolone.

Wait a minute. I think my ex-wife has taken. into a new lover. She loves a coffee date. Oh, we all think that. Did she, what? We've seen him. He's gorgeous.

Sort of a Le-Pace type. What? But taller. No! Zoom off from the sky. See? Oh, no. A Le-Pace type, but taller.

Wow. Every guy's worst nightmare. Well, everybody, that's the show. We're doing it a little different this year. We're only doing 30 minutes of it. No, I'm just kidding. We do 30 minutes that we take a break. We will see you back after these messages.

Bye. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Hey, Erin, JPC, um... I need some help. Oh, yeah, what's up, Adel? I love whispering, what's up? Oh, shit, I'm whispering, too. Yeah, what's up?

Um, I was prepping for riddles today, and I dropped my riddle book down a well. Oh. Oh, okay. Classic mistake. So no school? No school today? Well, yeah, if the riddles don't show up in the first 20 minutes, we can all leave.

You get to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it'd be better if I had some help. Better, better help. Oh, guys, remember better help? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, better help. It's online therapy that can help you more easily identify what is weighing you down slash holding you back by offering you unbiased perspective to better understand your relationships,

your motivations, and your emotions. Better help, online therapy. And I know people when they start the new year, they're thinking about self-improvement, but also, what if we just improve how we're talking to herself? What if we just improve how we feel about ourselves? Yeah, and with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. And, Adel, I know what you were doing last year. You said it worked for you, which was, I think, writing all of your secrets down into a book and throwing it into a well. Yeah. But this year, I mean, it's, you know, it's a new year. Maybe try something new. Plus, BetterHelp has 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate, which means they typically get matching you to a therapist right the first time. But if you're not happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from one of their tailored wrecks. BetterHelp Therapists work according to a strict code of conduct

and are fully licensed in the U.S. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Oh, Aaron, now a creepy kind of water ghost is crawling out of the well. Oh. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash riddle. That's betterhelp.com slash riddle. Okay, girl stole my look, rude.

Hey, girl. Hey, you look Exactly like me Water ghosts could be helpful, though This is awesome Yeah, turning over a new leaf Can I get a sandwich or something? Of course

Water, glass of water Adel, JPC You may have noticed my new diamond And emerald necklace I bought it with the money I saved using rocket money Whoa Mm-hmm

I realized I was spending like $800 a year on unwanted apps and subscriptions and then turns out I don't need to do that Rocket Money canceled them for me Okay Aaron but this I mean this necklace looks

really expensive Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings Okay I'm seeing a receipt

Adel in the trash can't hear I don't think Eric grab your hand She's been a lot of lot. She spent a lot on this necklace. The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give a user a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were ever a sponsor of Hey Riddle Riddell, and I love how clear their communication

is. If there's a big spend on my card, it will let me know right away, and it will also let me know what upcoming bills I have to pay, and it'll even negotiate lower bills for you. What a dream. And for someone like me who hemorrhages money, Rocket Money can help set budget. and goals, I get personalized insights and regular reports, and I can receive real time, alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Yeah, so I'm looking at Aaron's Rocket Money right now, and she has a goal for a new diamond necklace. Aaron, this is too many zeros. Aaron, this is too many zeros. It's like 18 zeros. What's wrong? Well, let Rocket Money help you read your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com

slash riddle. RocketMoney.com slash riddle. I have to be honest with you guys. This is not a real diamond necklace. It's a bunch of bugs I convinced to be in a diamond formation. It still costs $100,000. Pretty good. I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, I have, yeah, I have cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it's a real, it can be a real headache to have a small business. Yeah, and I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant. Yeah, we've had some, there's been some red tape with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working

on it. Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You've got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand completely unintentional you meant to do something else and that could be about any podcast go host and yeah i'm trying not to make this about me it's not a cry for you know attention here but it's just it's just the reality of owning a small business but found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all banking bookkeeping invoices and taxes no more paying for

multiple subscriptions in dealing with clunky outdated apps. I got to tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash. Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles and Found helps you find your buried co-hosts. Yeah, I don't know if it will exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses, things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, mentioning, invoices, budgeting, and they build an app that does it all directly from your

business checking account. So you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co-hosts at a big pile. I'm sad. One thing that I love about found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases, to make sure everything as accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bold officers found. Makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand. Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took eight feet underground of Aaron saying this. Take back control of your business today.

Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fowundd.com. That's fowund.com. found is a financial technology company not a bank banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with found thanks aaron i mean i that was her that was definitely her that's yeah she said that yeah the electro electromagnet that's how you get voices from their ground is electromagnets mm-hmm look it up we're not lying Oh, oh, oh, JPC, hello, it's me, Father New Year. Oh, Father New Year, what big white beard you have and looks like maybe was like a white-rimmed red hat that has been pastily painted like a different color? Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is off in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson, they got married. Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time. Uh-huh.

Not to say anything of what Aaron's had. But let me... Hey, Sam, hey, oh, I'm sorry, uh, what, not Santa. Uh, what, Father New Year, whatever? Father New Year! Lean in here, look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but... Oh, yeah.

If you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quince? Oh, JPC. Uh, brings down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quince. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world.

Yeah, see, I mean, I love quince because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting up middlemen in traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But, Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quince away, but no one's kind of giving quince to you. And maybe this get-up that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe, you know what, Santa?

I mean, not Santa, whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at Quince. I absolutely love this thing. It is so warm. It is so comfortable. And Santa, or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift. Oh, now the curse is lifted.

And now you are Father New Year, aka Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you. Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this. I thought I was going to have to Tim Allen you. Oh, and, oh, my normal voice is coming back.

Oh, man. Hey, my name is Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell out of Chimdy. I don't want to. Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self. Wait, is my voice going to change?

Oh, man, I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle, free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. Oh, and I lied. Errant is buried alive.

Okay, we're back, and we have some more riddles, and they've been submitted by listeners, just like you. This is a – sometimes people include where they're from, but this is one submitted from Waleed from Indiana. And Waleed says that they grew up in the middle of Indiana, which is – I also grew up in the middle of Indiana, but I wonder sometimes if people just say the middle of when they mean the middle of nowhere. Because Indiana has a lot of middle of nowhere. Yeah. But the middle is Indianapolis, which is the biggest city in Indiana. Yeah, they probably mean the middle of nowhere, right? Not central Indiana, but middle Indiana.

Middle, middle Indiana. Yeah, you're right. I guess I grew up in central. It doesn't matter. We'll never know and we don't need to know. Don't go looking for a lead. And also, they might not be in Indiana anymore because this is from like seven years ago. 2019, I think.

Anyway, it's an Indiana-specific joke riddle. And so it's only fair that I'm reading it to you guys because I obviously would have inside knowledge. Fresh Lake. Uh-oh. Yeah, that's it. It's virtually. It's Larry Bird.

It's like, what flies to the sky in Boston? Why shouldn't you ever tell secrets in a cornfield? Because all those ears. They got ears of corn. Wow. And you guys aren't even from Indiana, and you got that so fast. Mm-hmm. All right.

Well, that was a warm-up, basically, from Willid. But Willid also includes a stumper, and this is one that they wrote, and they are very proud of. Sometimes it's shallow Sometimes it's deep For ages you'll find It led by sheep What is it?

Ow? Sleep It's sleep Did you say how Adel? I was just going off the first Sometimes it's shallow There's like a whole

A series of movies That you If you told someone Who was not born In that era of movies That they existed They'd be like Not possible

It's not possible That's not possible that they made this movie Aaron have you ever been in a cornfield I have kind of spooky Have you ever done a corn maze Yeah Pretty stressful huh Right boys am I right

Yeah if it's large enough I love a corn maze Especially if you have like nowhere The thing about a corn maze that is Nice is that like I'm never getting stuck in a corn maze Because I know I could get through that court. Like, it's not like that, I know where the sun is and I could get through that corn,

but power through some stocks. Yeah. It's like a puzzle that like, I'm having a good time in it, but if I needed to get out, it would, I'd be able to, you know. I'd ruin the maze and I would feel really bad about that for the next people that came through when there's a JPC-shaped hole of their corn maze. But, uh, yeah, it's better than it being walls. Yes. Or like a hedge maze or something like that. Like, I don't think I want to get through, like, bristly bushes, but I could kind of pass through corn. There's a corn maze that we do every year at this orchard that we go to in, like, the fall. And every year, it's, like, themed differently and, and designed differently. And I really like, like, the architecture of the corn maze, like, the, you know, the design aspect

of it. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes, like, an aerial view, it'll be a picture of something, or it might just... Yeah, like, a big... One year, it was a big jack-a-lantern-like head, and it was, like, from the it's just it's fun to see that from the sky you know i'm growing up with a a great grandma who had a farm and and uh sort of rented out her land to have people grow corn and soy on it Aaron being in a cornfield at night and feeling there's a lot of bugs in cornfields yeah feeling a bug on you freaking out and then running out of a cornfield is like the worst sensation in the world because the ground it's not a lot of footing because it's usually kind of muddy you grows well that's how you make a midwest

for a hero. Yeah. How else are we supposed to get Midwest Spider-Ban? Thank you. And then, like, running through the corn, you get cut up pretty bad. Yikes. Because those stocks can be kind of sharp. So I grew up around a lot of corn, and it is, it's, it's not great.

I'll stick to my good old Massachusetts, if you don't mind. Yeah, a clam field. A clam field, disgusting. That's so gross. Rip one off the stock. bite into it. Mmm, the clams are fresh this year. Salty.

He shuck clams and he shuck corn. We did one from Indiana. So it's only fair that we do one a little closer to Aaron. Aaron, are you familiar with Everett, Massachusetts? Yeah. Well, this one's from Isabella in Everett, Massachusetts. And this comes from a riddle book that Isabella said is from 1902. Wow.

Okay, old-timey. Yeah. This riddles a little long, but it's called Miss Fanshaugh's Enigma. okay perfect twas whispered in heaven and muttered in hell and echo caught taint I'm sorry

it's a little it's a screenshot that I'm looking at so the word is not taintly it's faintly but it's like this thing is faded so it does look like taintly but it's not I want to be clear it is not taintly I was going to say echo caught taint that's the most beautiful prose about a taint I've ever heard

Echo caught taint is like some lost fanfic lost the TV show Right, Mr. Echo? Doesn't matter. Mr. Echo, yes, is yes. I'll start again. We'll leave all this in. T'was whispered in heaven and muttered in hell, and Echo caught faintly the sound as it fell. On the confines of Earth, t'was permitted to rest, and the depths of the ocean its presence confessed. T'was seen in the lightning and heard in the thunder, t'was be found in the spheres when river asunder.

T'was given to man, with his earliest breath, assists at his birth, and attends him in death. presides or his happiness, honor, and health is the prop of his house and the end of his wealth. It begins every hope, every wish it must bound, and though unassuming with monarchs is crowned. Without it, the soldier and sailor may roam, but woe to the wretch who expels it from home. But in shade let it rest like a delicate flower, oh, breathe on it softly, it dies in an hour. I think I know. my first thought is god like of course they're going to be like god is everywhere and he's in every battle cry and every in every whispering widow but i feel like it's the letter h it's the letter

h it is the letter h incredible adle can i ask what what a have we done this before and b what clued you into the letter h being the the answer there i will we i feel like i would remember this because it was so uh i know i wouldn't yet beautiful um i think think the thing everything seems so disparate yeah like it's nothing seemed connected and then slowly I was like oh a lot of the words like when you say it ends every something um not thought I feel like there's a line that was like it ends every whatever assist at his birth and attends him in death maybe yeah yeah but there's a few phrasings where I was like oh it sounds like they're pointing us towards a specific letter I also think when you've done riddles long enough you run

through like could this be a spelling thing yeah yep like that is a box you have to check when you're solving a riddle there's a lot of h's in this and i think the longer the riddle goes because it went a long time you're like okay so there there have been a lot of ages but that's the only thing that there are it's just a lot of ages um i do want to see a scene um Aaron you're a woman in 1905 um and you've uh you live out in the countryside you're you're so lonely uh jpc you're sort of a traveling salesman who knocks on the door to, to push your wares. And Aaron, I think you're so lonely that you have this sort of really verbose, eloquent way of speaking that just kind of prattles on.

A knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Who is it? Come in. Oh, just walk into your house. Well, in order of the way that you... Come in, come in, of course. Let me bring you to the drawing room. Now, I'll tell you something. When I married my husband in 1843, he said there would be no space in our home for a room this ornate.

That no one would ever sit in here. We'd never take company right here at the front. And I said, no, no, no, people are going to love to sit at a couch such as this in front of the fire. And right you are. It's not too formal, but it is quite lovely. Yes, and did you do all these drawings by hand? No. So as I was saying...

Thank God. This is a child's work. These curtains, I actually had them brought over by ship from France. Oh, well, you're a luck, ma'am. And these drawings I did by hand. But these drawings are the ones by hand. Yes, these look good. These are one of these Thanksgiving turkeys.

Yes, I made my hand, put my hand on by hand, and then I drew around it. Did I ever tell you about sit down? We'd never met. And I'd love to sit down, but of course, I have to. to tell you about my great curtain cleaning spray that I'm selling. Two of my 12 sons help build the railroad.

Can you believe that? Two of the 12. Which railroad, ma'am? The one that goes west. Ah, the Great Western Railroad. Mm-hmm. How proud you are? You know what I think? Ruined this country.

Uh-oh. All of those machines. Yes, of course. In the factories, little kids' hands. were doing just fine before those machines. Now the quality is going down. I miss the trade. Oh, so not the machines that built the railroad,

but the machines, you're talking about like textiles. Textiles. Yes. So you were born before the Industrial Revolution? Is that what I'm... Yes, I got married in 1843. These drapes are positively filthy, but if you'd allow me to use my patented drape cleaners,

Spray. I can show you. That reminds me of a story. How? Change the subject. Okay. All right. You know, could you sit down and play me a tune at my piano?

No one has played this piano since my daughter passed away. I could try. Yikes, mikes. That's what the smell is. It smells great because it was only 15 minutes. Let me sit down here. Do you have a tune that you would like me to play? What's popular now?

Old timey rag So even older Oh you just jumped right in it You're playing Okay The Titanic's gonna sink in 15 years time The Titanic's gonna sink in 15 years time Is referring to

It's going down to the bottom of the sea Man, can I, ma'am? Two of its best passengers are you and me. Let's die on the Titanic together. Me and my best friend. You and your best friend? I'm your best friend. It'll be the end.

You don't even know my name. Here's your ticket. Let's get on the Titanic. 30 second dance break. Before it sings, dance break. Can we let that go seven minutes? Yeah, we can. For sure, we can.

How haunting to have the Titanic crash and then be like, here's a vinyl record. Here's a song from 15 years ago that predicts this very incident. Although that happened with a book, right? It did? Yeah. Wasn't there a book from like the 1820 where it was like a large ship called the Titanic sank in the middle of the ocean? I vaguely do remember something like that. There's also like, it's like all these like works of fiction where they're like, whoa, this predicted the future.

And it's like, well, maybe. It's like, it could have been like a lucky coincidence because of all of the other books that were written that didn't predict, you know, the future. But I do think that those like historical coincidences are very fun to see. Oh, yeah. It's just, it's a bummer that the people who did them don't get to enjoy them because they were like, you know, this guy died like a hundred years ago. So he doesn't get to be like right about a weird thing. Dying out on that for the rest of your life. Yeah.

Never pay for a beer again because you've protected the Titanic. Yeah, you're like the Michael Barry of like the 1800s, you know. That's the guy. Is that the guy? That's the big short guy, right? He's definitely one of them. In the 1898 novella by Morgan Robertson, the wreck of the Titan, eerily foreshadowed the Titanic disaster 14 years later,

with its story of a giant unsinkable liner called the Titan hitting an iceberg in the North Atlantic, sinking due to lack of lifeboats. Scary stuff. But also could the people who built the Titanic been like, no, Titan? That's a pretty cool name for that for a boat. Let's not do it. Let's not be so on the nose with it, right? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This person who wrote the book was in charge of naming the boat. It's that one thing where you just like, you hear a joke somewhere else, and then later you tell it, and you're like, that's my joke. And you're like, oh, fuck, no. That's from somebody else. Speaking of citing your sources, this is a riddle from Jacob. Jacob writes, We silk-in-haired soldiers and green clothing stand, native to most, but not all fertile lands.

Corn. Get lost in our ranks at the right time of year. Tear us apart and will lend you our ears. What are we? Corn. Got to be corn. It's also corn riddles. Two people submitted corn riddles so close together.

I thought that that was just so excellent. And this is in your desktop folder named corn? This is called Poems, which is the real name of the folder where I used to hide my pornography because I'm like, no one's going to want to read my poems. That's really fucking funny. And I think earlier in the show, I don't remember which riddle it was,

but I think we had a riddle from Australia. Now we have another riddle from Australia. Ooh, aloo. These are, this is a, this, I enjoyed this one. This is from Josh in Australia. Josh writes, there was a plane crash and every single person died. Who survived?

Hmm. The plane crash, and every single person died. Every single person died, but who survived? Nobody. This has big, like, plane crash on the border who buried their survivors, you know, vibes. Mr. Blackbox? Like, what's the... Oh, Mr. Blackbox.

Yes. Sing me a tune. Do, do, do, do. Save me a tune of people screaming for help. Mr. Blackbox. Oh. No, it's not Mr. Blackbox. You said something that was no one.

You said no one? Yeah. No, it's not no one. There are survivors. That's why it asks who survived. Can you read it one more time? There was a plane crash and every single person died. Who survived?

All the married people. The married couples. Right. Wow. Ask someone who's married, I love this rental. I'm like, hell, yeah. Don't know how. Don't know how it would have worked out that the married people live.

I do want to see a scene. Yes, please. The two of you are sitting next to each other on a plane. You don't know each other. There's some obvious issues happening with the plane to where it might drop out of the sky. And the two of you are panicking and trying to connect somehow before the plane crashes. I know the captain's kind of putting on a brave face, but like I... Sorry?

Scene. Important to note. Aaron took an air pod out of her ear. Yes, important. Note to the editor. Note to, note to listener. I do love the fact that, like, the plane is, there's obviously something going down

and a person's just listening to their podcast. Yeah. I cannot be bothered. I'm not doing this whole song and dance. I'm going to be dying, listening to my favorite podcast. I've definitely had things where people are talking to me, and I take out my AirPods, and I'm like, huh? And they're like,

oh, sorry, I didn't see that you had, you know, headphones in. And I'm like, oh, yeah. And then I answer whatever. And I put it back in. And then they say something else. And I'm like, huh? It's like, at this point, you know I'm listening to something. Yeah.

Yeah. I flew relatively recently for the holidays. And on both flights, I got to see my favorite thing, which is, you know, when you're boarding the plane, someone being like, oh, excuse me, I think you're in my seat. And someone in a row that's clearly marked 12, they're like, is this, 14 and someone's like, no, this, you're in 12. And they're like, oh, and then they go and move to 14. And I'm like, I think it's pretty clearly marked. Like, every, like, it's not like, it's not like they do like weird things where it's like, oh, you know what the row on this plane. It goes eight, nine, 12, 14, 11, 10. But I saw it twice on both flights and I was like, this is, I don't think it's ever happened to me that I've like sat in the wrong seat on a plane.

But I guess maybe people just like aren't paying super. close attention or people think like it's a seat on a play like who cares um i've found a few times recently where i have uh i always got a window seat if possible where i've had the window seat this has happened two or three times in the past couple months i have a window seat i go on to the plane i'm boarding group three maybe and someone is in my seat and they're like quote unquote asleep against the window and it's like and then i have to like grab a that's when you make a rooster noise. I have to grab a flight attendant and be like, I'm not going to wake this person up.

I don't think they're really asleep. They're just, they're faking to be asleep so I don't say anything. They're going to be erratic. They're going to wake up. That's what children do. Yes, exactly. This is like the people on the megabus, when I used to ride the mega bus home to Indianapolis, who would just put like a huge backpack or something on the other seat.

And I'm like, come on, man, it's a full buzz. Like, you got to move the backpack. Someone's going to sit there. you kind of don't want to sit next to the person who's going to do that because you're like you're obviously not like the greatest person in the world I want to share a thing but when they're like full full bus full play and you're like okay come what are we doing what are we doing I've never had I've never had a person I've never had a person in my seat it sucks because there are all these little confrontations that I would love to have with people but they never they never happen for me they never I never get to go on a plane and there's someone in my seat and I get to be like move it to lose it pal hey men men out there who feel that way the JPC does you can always scratch that it's by defending something or defending someone that is happening to. Nah. Yeah, but if you see that like happening to a lady in someone's in her seat, be like, hey, man, you're in her seat.

What if my headphones in? Then, yeah, then you just ignore it. I would love it if it's like a woman who's like, excuse me, sir, you're in my seat. And they're like, I'm not in your seat. And I go, hey, man, you're in her seat. And then it's like, he's like, I'm 12. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm 15. I'm like, oh, well, uh, next time, bitch, you better, you better get right with God.

because if you ever do sit in her seat I'm gonna kill you and he's like hey man I'm in my seat and I'm like sorry dude I just have to double down I don't know I got to I committed to this way too hard

I didn't have all the facts and now I really have to I have to die on this hill brother I'm so sorry I simply had to insert myself oh you know what I what I said is you guys switched to bodies

so you are in her seat because you guys switched to bodies sir please i'll go back to my seat in a second just i have to do this because i'm so into it now sir i switch bodies with someone else on the plane i think i'm in the pilot's body i got to get into the cockpit they're like sir we will restrain you i'm an air marshal i will draw down on you sir and i'm like no i'm the pilot we will toss you in the luggage section so help me god uh okay um we We have another one from Josh, still from Australia.

What hard rock group has four dudes, but none of them, it says neither of them, but I do think it's none of them plays the guitar. Four dudes, none of them play the guitar. Yeah. This is a literal rock group. Yes. I mean, it's a hard rock group with four dudes and, yeah, it's four dudes, but none of them plays the guitar. BlueBank group. no it's not a blue-green group it's a great guess and this is a great riddle

this is an excellent riddle Josh hmm none of them play the guitar none of them play the guitar um is this a thing of like none of them play the guitar because they all play the guitar is it that kind of thing of like yeah oh got it no um no no no no no single one of them plays the guitar like there's no no one playing the guitar in this in this hard rock group Genesis? It's not Genesis. Is this an actual band or is this like a... Do you want some hints?

I have some hints. Yeah. Do they play other instruments other than guitar? No. Hmm. So is this like a barbershop quartet? That's such a great guess. Here's your second hit.

Are they well known? Yes. I would say, especially in the United States, but yes, I think they're very well... Oh, the monkeys? The wiggles. It's not the monkeys in here, and it's. not the Wiggles Because remember

this is a hard rock group Okay I wouldn't call the Wiggles or the monkeys hard rock Yeah yeah

I forgot hard rock Um there's another one of them and I don't know what it means and there's a

in parentheses remember Josh is from Australia in parentheses it's just round of applause if this hint actually helps so do you want hit three? Yeah hint three is

Does Ritchie Rich go into the eye of one of them and the answer is yes I have a needle I have a tiger Hurricane Does Richy Rich

Go into the eye of one of them I think that's one of those clues That if it helps you You got it And if it doesn't help you Like I wouldn't abandon it Because I don't know what it means Wasn't everything

A rich man has as much Chances going to heaven As a camel does Going through the eye of a needle Or something Something like that That sounds super familiar man Give me a bread

And give me a fish And you got a fucking parable On your heads Rich you rich goes into the eye of one of them. How else can I help you? It's a hard rock group, but it's not a band. Okay.

In fact, I would say that none of them are really known for being musicians. Spinal tap? It's not spinal tap. They're not even really associated, I think, with the arts, but they're all famous. Is this hard rock like geology? Is this getting into like a geology situation?

Adel. Oh, Mount Rushmore. It's Mount Rushmore. Wow. Yeah. Hard rock. Boo. Did it throw you off that I said Josh is from Australia?

Because I feel like if you're from Australia, you should not know about Mount Rushmore. Yeah, that's frankly none of your business, Australia. Mind your business. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Fucking business. I don't know about your rocks. I don't know what kind of carvings you got down there in Australia. Whittling the fucking outback.

Mm-hmm. All right. That's good enough. So wait. Real quick. Yeah, please. Is there, did somebody working on Mount Rushmore sneak Richie Rich into one of their eyeballs? I have no idea.

It might be like deep cut lore from a Richie Rich comic. I don't know. I don't even know. I don't know nothing about Richie Rich. Like, that's not as big in America. Some people say that that's Casper, that Richie Richie Rich dies and becomes Casper. There is a fan theory out there. All right.

Hey, speaking of fans, yeah, this kind of. fits. Casey, do we have a new voicemail theme? Are they from Australia? Okay, I was going to ask you. There is a thick accent in there. Can anyone place the accent? Because my first thought, I got it completely wrong. It's Australia.

Didn't they say Good A-made at the beginning? It's not Australia. It's not Australia. New Zealand. Vermont. Huh. Okay. I have to go lay down.

Vermont. accent. That's a Vermontian accent, and that's from Dangus Angus. Thank you, Dangus, Angus. If you want to submit a voicemail theme, 30 seconds or less as a wave file to H-R-R-R podcast at gmail.com. Casey, do we have a fucking voicemail? Hey, Cluckoo. My name's Bridget, and I literally am driving home from my job right now and heard the Patreon promo for this week, and you said my name, so that means I have to call you. You also said Kevin, which isn't new, that is both my father and my brother's name um what's your dad's name have a great time what i've been working all day love you guys see

you and philly bye okay love you what's your dad's name this is such a great question couldn't have predicted what that question was going to be um well should we keep guessing her the names of our other family members i feel like we're doing pretty well let's see can we guess each other's dad's names? Now, this is unfair because Adel's middle name is his dad's name. So I know Adels, but Aaron's dad, who I've met, never met Adels, do I know your dad's first name? Yeah, I don't know if I've ever, I don't know if I've ever heard either of you say your dad's name. I just call him Papa or Daddy. Just called him Papa. But, J.B.C., you were born via immaculate contemption, so your dad is God, or the devil. I forget which one yours was.

Immaculate contention. It was, I got nothing. I have nothing for what that would even be. Yeah, I don't know that, I don't know that you guys would have been able to pull my dad's name. Fred. And Aaron, it's fucking bothering me that I don't know your dad's name. I want to say your dad's name is like. It will bring a bell, I bet.

Michael? No. I'm like throwing Catholic, just like any Catholic name out there. I feel like it's fun to say in a Boston accent. Like I, when I picture my dad's name, I picture people saying. Shokey. No. I honestly I was

Eric can you say Shoki with a Boston accent I can't do it Shoki Shoki Shoki Shoki Wait hold on It doesn't

It doesn't really Lid itself well to like The whole Boston accent thing What's good Oh my name is ah Shokke I need final answers here What's Adol

Aaron you both have one guess At my dad's name And Adol I think you still Oh Aaron a guess for her dad's name Aaron your dad's name Here's the, and here's the thing. I've met him, delightful man, but I feel like it's always like, this is my dad. Hey, Adel, JPC, you've met my dad.

I call it Mr. Keefe. Is it like Anthony? No. Shit. All right, what is Eric. You see, your dad's name is Xanax. Creek, Creek Cohen. Really close.

My dad wouldn't have my last name because I invented my last name. Of course, of course. My name is Larry. Larry. Classic. And I don't think he's a Lawrence. I think he's legit, Alaria, always been a larry. Aaron, what's your dad's name?

Richard. Richard. Fuck, that's such a classic dad name. Richard, you always do this. Richard! Well, hey, listeners of the show, now it's time for plugs. And what's your dad's name? Feel free to leave your dad's name in the comments.

I don't know why you would do that. Call in. Tell us your dad's name. Call in. Seems like a fishing sham. Adam. Adel, do you have anything to plug? Yes, please check out the podcasts. Hello from the Magic Tavern, as well as gum shoes and dragons, wherever you find podcasts. If you're looking for new podcast to add to your listening lists this year, please check out Hello for the Magic Tavern and Gum Shoes and Dragons.

Aaron, anything for listeners to know? You can check out my show Quality Time here in Los Angeles. It's a true variety show. Um, it's usually the second Sunday of the month at 5.30 at the lyric. But, uh, every once in a while it changes. So you can follow us on Instagram if you want to keep up. Cool. Um, GPC, any review to read or something to plug? I don't know, bitch. Aaron, I'm thinking of a new thing where I play that sound clip every time you ask me if there's something that I have to plug. What do we think of that is a bit? I'm great. I just, the only person I have to talk to on the show now is me. Sounds good No I would say Listen to the Hey Riddle Riddle

Patreon Hey it's the beginning of the year It's the perfect time to sign up For one of our annual memberships You can pay for a full year And I think you get like a month off When you do that Patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle

We're doing bonus episodes every week And some review crews every month It's a lot of fun over there And some live streams That you can check out And one more thing to plug If you're listening to this when it comes out You can still get tickets

To our San Francisco Sketch Fest show that is going to be at 4 p.m. Pacific time at the Gateway Theater in San Francisco on Sunday the 18th. Again, Sunday the 18th, 4 p.m. San Francisco, the Gateway Theater. You can buy tickets. If you Google Hayward and a Vernal Sketchfest, you'll find the ticket link. That's the best way to get them. And we hope to see some of you in San Francisco. If you're going to surf, some for some. You got to sing it live, Aaron. You got to sing that live.

I'm going to serve some friction. Is that what you're saying? San Francisco. What did I say? What did you say? Hey. That's probably, that's probably that it for me. All right.

Should we end with like a choreographed dance? Yes. Okay. And five, six, seven, eight. I'm Jupiter I feel like now I need to get a sound bite of Aaron saying Jupiter and a sound bite of Aaron saying Jupiter and a sound bite of Aaron saying Jupiter and a sound bite of Adel sing five forever, so I can just, like, launch those in.

Can I go, then? Can I take off and take an app, please? Logo created by Emily Cardamis and Emily Nipurus. One, two, three, four, hey, rid, the radio. Hey, Rick, the Biggs. Hey, they're Bakers and Pags. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of phrase the roof. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog

at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a headgum podcast.