Hey Riddle Riddle - #391: Kind of a Friendship Vibe Here

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

Happy January Valentine's Day! Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Here, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus fries, and a medium soft drink for just $8. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. It is my honor to dub you, Adlerify and you, John Patrick Cohen, Knights of the Rital Realm. sword on one side of your shoulder. Oh, ow, ow, ow.

You should have worn shirts. You should have worn shirts if you didn't want this to hurt. Oh. It is your duty to protect. It's a beach casual. The realm from riddles. Oh, protect the realm from riddles. What did I say?

No, no, no. Your Majesty, this is very good. Yeah, protect the realm from riddles. So no one has to do riddles. Why are you guys looking to the left and right? We have to kill Aaron Keefe. Why? She has a podcast about riddles that we went undercover into to try and bring down from within, right, JPC?

Yeah, right. I mean, that's another great reason to do it. Let it be so and let it be done. And if I find out that a riddle has been read, then it's off with both your heads. Okay. Aaron, come here. Hey, Aaron. This is the queen.

Hey, guys, why are you dressed in beach casual? Don't worry about it. I'm in beach formal. do do do do Yeah, it's a wetsuit A wetsuit with a little bowtie. Yeah. Which, by the way, would love to see.

Would love to see. Your Majesty, we've caught her. So let's go ahead and draw on quarter her. Don't bring. What did you guys doing? And your majesty, I know that we're the knights and we protect the room from medals and everything. Is it cool if Adel and I don't do the actual slicing of Aaron?

Just because A, kind of like a friendship vibe there. And B. Kind of a friendship vibe there. Kind of a friendship vibe there. Kind of a friendship vibe there. I'm talking to the queen, okay? I don't need to explain the whole thing. Oh my God.

I don't need to explain the concept of frenemies to the African queen. A queen does not get her hands dirty with the blood of a tired girl. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Don't call our friend tired. Only we can call her tired. Ha! I've been stabbed. Oh, the rest.

Is silence. What does she mean by that? I just killed the fucking queen. Oh, that's the end of Hamlet. I was trying to put my sword in its scabbard thing. Did I get the queen? Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Well, it started out as I didn't really want to be known as a woman killer, but I guess here we are. Well, the queen is dead and long live the queen. Aaron, of course, hope you forgive us for trying to. I'm queen, baby. Let's go. Gets and a horse drives away. can I just say to the two of you, Adel, Aaron,

my friendship vibe people, happy, happy fucking Valentine's Day of January. Happy January Valentine's Day. Do you guys celebrate January of Valentine's Day? I celebrate Valentine's every month. I celebrate July 4th every month on the fourth of the month. I celebrate January 6th every month of the 6th of the month. And I celebrate, I was born in the December of Valentine's Days.

So I celebrate the January Valentine's. days as well. And then next month, we got the real deal, baby, and I cannot wait for that. Hmm. Hmm. What's your favorite holiday on a different month? JPC on a first date when he's run out of things to say. I've already talked about myself for 45 minutes. I guess I got to ask her a fucking question. I guess I like February Flag Day, which is Valentine's Day, technically. And I prefer Marcheween. March of Marchean Marchean

rarely celebrated underrated it is Halloween and March But does that mean that February doesn't get a Halloween

Well It does Which is Dadda Papa Papa Papa Does February get a Halloween Papa?

No And it's your fault You're the reason I like January April April Fool's day I guess

New Year's Day. New Year's Day, aka January April Fool's. I like that, Aaron. That's fun. Yeah, all right. Very good. Hmm.

I feel like if we're starting traditions on the show, I think January April Fool's is a fun tradition. We miss it this year. Much better time to do a prank. Just start the year off completely. Fuck it up a relationship with a prank. So stick with us, January, 2027. We're going to be doing January April Fool's, January 1st,

2027. We'll do it. Maybe. If it's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. If it's not a Wednesday, all bets are off. And let me do a quick check here just to see it is not a Wednesday. Let me see if I'm going to just fill out some emergency paperwork. I'm trying to get out of being old man puzzles.

So I'm just going to send this to... I'm also going to fill out some paper. Emergency contact. To who it may concern, I don't want to be old man puzzles today. because I just don't really want to. If someone else can do it, that would be greatly appreciated. Love, light, and laughter. Hey, JPC.

Queen Aaron and send. JPC, we're, I don't know, a couple minutes into the episode and we haven't done riddles. I'm going to give Aaron a call to make sure she's coming into podcasts today, coming into riddles today. That makes sense. You should call her because she blocks my number. Okay, all right. That's wrong. Hello?

Oh, Erin, are you coming into riddles today? Oh, that was today. Oh, you sound, you sound sick. I'm really sick. Never tell a woman she sounds sick. I got. You sound so tired. I got that disease that you get from being so hot all the time.

jaundice? Yeah. But I'm so sorry to do this, but I think I'm too sick to riddles today. Oh, no. Well, a lot of people were going to listen to this episode. Should we punt on this? Should we bring in someone else? I know. I feel like you guys could probably figure something out.

That's a lot of assuming. Send money. What was that last part? Hello? Hello? Send money. That's how I'm ending all my phone calls of the new year. All right.

All right. I love you, too. Send money. Send money. In lieu of flowers, send money. Okay, bye-bye. Okay, take care now. Send money. All right, send money now.

Aaron, I'm not really going to send you any money. You know what I'm saying? I just don't think you deserve it, you know? What do you mean? Okay, what about this? What about you do a couple of riddles? And then if I think that you did a really good job with those riddles, I'll send you some money.

You are tricking me. It's more like a tip, you know? Like, I believe fully that you're capable of dropping off a steaming hot plate of rentals right from the kitchen on the table. We're filling my water a couple of times. But it's customary to give it at the end of the meal, you know? I'd love to just give the tip. And that's a fun thing you can do. Go in with a stack of ones, put it on the table, and then for every little infraction, just remove one of the tips, take a dollar away.

That's a fun way to be an asshole. while making unbreaking eye contact. Mm-hmm. What do you guys? Oh, please. What do you guys think about the phenomenon of people asking for tips in scenarios where you're like, I don't think any like tip-worthy like work was done in this scenario? It's a lot of like they spin the iPad back at you and there's the option for like a 20% tip.

What are our thoughts on that? I'm never, I'm going to tip every time. I'm too anxious to not. I don't know. I think energetically, I just got to do it or I'm going to be overthinking it the rest of the day. It's a gift to myself. I can't be a part of this discourse. I'm too sick.

Send money. I definitely, every time it happens, I always, like Aaron said, I just tip because I'm like caught off guard where I'm like, oh, I didn't think this is a tip scenario. And now I couldn't possibly not tip because I'm thrown. But then later, as I walk away, I'm like, what the fuck was that? Like, that didn't deserve a tip. I'll tell you what. I only tip at places that have, that accept cash tips. Because I do not believe for a second that, like, that money that I tip on the iPad as just, like, part of my credit card, I just do not believe.

I cannot believe it's always going to the people who, I feel like, I feel like, is this just a way for, like, big Jimmy Johns to, like, ring out another $3 from me? I'm like, if, if, even if I ask them, like, this tip goes to you. They're like, yeah, I guess it does. But I'm like, well, how do you even know, right? Like, do you get, like, a printout at the end of your shift with, like, how much the tips were? No, it goes into Jimmy John's pocket himself in his big old tower with the white cat on his lap. Well, the white cat is dead because he's a big game hunter. Yeah, he is a big game hunter.

Unfortunately. Load his blunderbuss. So I've started carrying, like, which I never did before, but I carry cash with me now, which I absolutely hate because I hate having things in my pocket. But I do that specifically so that I can, like, put cash tips in, just so I know. just why I know that a person is like actually getting the tip. I feel like if there's ever like a study done on all of this, we would quickly see that like society is built on a big mass of lies.

Because I can see these corporations keep making money and they keep like firing employees. It's like the money's going somewhere, but is it going where I think it's going? In fact, I think it's going not where I think it's going. Just be paranoid everybody. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, that's all he's saying.

These first set of riddles made me laugh out loud when I figured out what they were. And they are from Basel, I think, is how you pronounce it, from Atlanta, Georgia. How's it spelled? B-A-S-I-L. B-A-S-I-L? Yeah. And you said Atlanta? I believe it's pronounced Basel.

Okay, great. Perfect. He was at our Atlanta last. BASL. Oh, yeah, I remember. Yeah, it's bashed. Okay, perfect. Okay, so, dearest Aaron, Adel, JPC,

Kevin, Janet and Casey, Kevin, Susie's Radiots and Future Lizards. I've created some homebrew riddles that I think would be good warm-up riddles. I have titled these riddles, Extreme Makeover Riddles Edition. These are phrases that will... Exactly, Adel, you're ahead of it. These are phrases that will sort of rhyme with the phrase. move that bus, which they shout before the reveal of folks extreme home makeovers in the ABC show. Wait, what the fuck does that?

In what context do they shout, move that bus? What is happening? What is happening? I've never seen the show. Oh my gosh, JPC, a bit of culture that I miss with my whole heart. There was a show called Extreme Home Makeover. Oh, okay. Extreme Home Makeovers.

Yes. In Thai something. I thought it was Extreme Makeovers. I was like, how extreme are these makesovers? Ty Pennington. Ty Pennington hosted the show and then over the course of a week

they would completely redo a family's home and what they'd bring the family back from like Disneyland or whatever the fuck they shipped them off to and then the family would stand in front of this huge bus and then that was blocking their new home that was blocking their new home and they go are you ready to see your new home and then everyone would go move that bus

and it would drive away and then they would be like and then commercial break would happen we'd come back from commercial right and they'd be like our house is amazing this was such a fun part of culture because uh a lot of the people that they did the makeovers for they ended up having to like sell their homes because they couldn't pay the taxes of their new homes like they just didn't do the full oh because they would increase these home values they like gut them and like do additions and stuff increase the home values the property taxes would get assessed at a higher rate and then these people would have to oh my god and then i'm sure i'm sure the native

neighbors love that too. It's like, yeah, this is a neighborhood of mostly $300,000 homes. And now there's a $1.6 million home next to me. And I'll never sell my house. Exactly. The phenomenon of the show and why I think people laughed about it so much is when you're on the show and you are a teen or younger, you cannot mention to any of these fuckers if you like or are interested in anything. Because then your room is that forever. That is, the amount of like 13 year olds that were like, Oh, my room's a pirate ship now. And I'm about to, I'm about to hit puberty. Yeah. And in six months, this will be the thing I care the least about.

The kids would be like, I went to the beach once and I had a really nice time. And then their floor will be sand. And their bed is a beach chair. I want to see a scene. There was like a nightclub one. A very quick scene. Aaron, you are a 12-year-old. And Adel and I are working for, what's the name of the show?

Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Extreme Makeover Home Edition. And we're kind of grilling you to try to figure out what you like so we can change your room. But you're trying to give us absolutely nothing. Can I have a glass of water or could I call my lawyer? Oh, she loves water. No, no, no, no. Just feeling a little thirsty.

Oh, so it's glass that you love. No, no, I don't love that. Interesting. Okay, so we'll build an aquarium that a young girl can breathe in. I don't like fish. Or the ocean. Oh, so you're more of a Grateful Dead person. Great.

So we'll have a cemetery room. Ambient guitar rock and dancing bears. I don't like music. I don't like bears. And I don't like any sort of band or a musical act. So you like silence. So it'll be a monastery. So we'll have monk robes in your closet.

And just chanting. And a desk. Yeah. Just a palette, a palette of straw. A window that I can look outside. A single flower. A closet maybe. Desk.

And you said a faucet? No, a closet. Stop right. I can see you ready to have a faucet. Oh, Farah Fosset. You love Farah Fosset. Okay, so this will be a Charlie's Angels themed. You'll have a telephone with your, okay, let's see.

What if the room is the closet? No. And then you open the closet and the closet is the room. Whoa. What if the bed is the window, bed on the wall, window on the floor? I want your standard run-of-the-mill room. I know it might not make for good TV. Oh, a mill room.

Okay, great. So we have a donkey turning a big wheel and then lots of grain being ground down. When does good cop get in here? Come on, please, please. No ladders, no slides, no swings, no giant fixtures, no crazy lighting. Hey, kid, kid. Hey, please, please. Look, we want to do a good room for you.

We don't want to do a bad room for you. We want to do something that you'll like. So instead of telling us what not to do, why don't you just tell us what? one thing that you like and will make a completely normal room out of it. Right? We promise, right, Adel? Yes. Just, we promise to make a normal room, but accentuating maybe just one little thing.

Little tiny tweaks to detail. Yeah. What's just, what's something that you enjoy and something that's a classic that you think you'll enjoy for a while? Okay. Well, I have. Oh, well. Perfect. No, no, I want to be a paleontologist.

Deep pit. No, please. There's a long-haired Korean girl at the bottom. Please, no. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

But it's the faucet. Okay, she's back to Fosset. Okay. You guys, you got to Google image these rooms that these kids had to endure. These poor kids. I most remember, like, pirate ship ones where there'd be, like, a rope. They have to, like, swing on a rope to their bed or something. To get to the bed.

Can you imagine having a bad day and having to do that? And I remember it always being a kid who was just about to enter puberty, where I'm like, they truly, this room would be so embarrassing to them in, like, a minute. months. And 14 minutes. They're already embarrassed. Being 17 and your parents are going out of town on a trip and you're like, I guess I could throw a party in my house, but I don't think I can

fuck in the pirate ship room. Oh, this is my parents' room. Yeah, my parents' room is a pirate ship room. This is my room. It's a normal, nice-looking bedroom. Biggest room in the house, of course. I'm going to sort of change the format of how he wrote these, so

they're more fun for you guys. Okay. And Aaron, I'm so sorry. you said it right these are phrases that will rhyme with move that bus well yeah with will rhyme with bus with bus okay so um i'm gonna give you the thing and then you're gonna yell move that and then the word okay that you think it is okay Casey Casey by the way in the chat said I legitimately remember watching that show as a kid thinking when I'm on this show I'm going to tell them I'm into tasteful interior decorator that's so fucking funny Scandinavian minimalist design that's oh very quickly I also

want to mention because I did I did legit enjoy watching the show I remember there being a lot of moments where one of the people one of the designers or like main folks who works on the house would be like I'm gonna I have this amazing project where I'm gonna take all these geodes and I'm gonna make this entryway that's just like 400 geodes so that they're welcome by the crystals when they walk in the door and inevitably every single episode it'd get down to the last day and they're like, we're way behind on the geode entry, and like, we're really underwater, we're really fucked. And so it's always them scrambling to finish this, like,

amazing big project. And they'd always have to cut corners on that. I just don't believe this show was started in 2004 and ran for 11 seasons. You should watch an episode. It's very, it's very entertaining. You know what else was going on in 2004 that also went for like 11 seasons was House MD? So I think probably what I was doing was watching. House MD at the time.

Extreme makeover House Edition. By the way, thought experiment, do you think that the show House would be as popular if it was just called Greg? Do you think it would have went for 11 seasons? Is his name Greg House? Yeah, his name is Greg. Um, I don't think so.

Me neither. I think it had to be named House. Aaron, I'm ready for one of these riddles. All right, here we go. Addition symbol. Move that plus. That's nice That's nice

Display of unnecessary An Excessive excitement Move that Fuss? Yes Is it fuss? Uh huh Hold on

Wait wait wait Can we dead stop Addle? What do you say? He said I think he said Bluss I just kind of want to know I just kind of want to know if that's I put the spotlight on him

I want to know I want to know what he said And if it was Bluss I want to know what that is You guys, I don't know if we can dead stop anymore Because we let a lot go now And so now I asked if I could Yeah

So now when we do do a dead stop, we're like I could have dead stop to you guys earlier Right? Yeah, that's fair So we're just gonna let him slide on Bluss? I don't know, Bloss seems pretty harmless Compared to some of the other shit we've set out the show Spare the dead stop, spoil the host

Yeah? I guess Bloss does seem relatively harmless I wonder if anyone, hey, If you were offended by Bless, right into the show. Let us know. Bless your heart. Bless your heart. Bless your heart.

Bless this must. All right. Now we have to settle. Is it Bless This Must or Bless Your Heart? Because we only can do one Bluss merch for this episode when it drops. I think Bless This Must. Plus this must. Bless this must.

It's sort of like a Poe Buddies Nerfick situation. I had a shirt that I bought at Walgreens when I was in high school that said, too, blessed to be stressed. And I loved that shirt. It was a $5 shirt. It was one of the least, the worst fitting shirts I've ever owned. And I remember it was $5 for three for 10.

And I said, I don't need three of these. So I bought the $5 one. Too blessed to be stressed. Blast to be stressed in the land, untrustworthy character in Among Us. Oh, in Among Us. I don't know the names of characters. It's like someone who's being like a little like,

Oh, oh, move that suss. Yay. Infected wound substance. Move that pus. Foul language. Move that cuss. Conjunctive adverb. Old-timey language feeling.

Move that thus? Yes. Sound of farm fowl makes. Move. Now, these are starting to not rhyme as well. Move that. I'll take it. It's cluck. Oh, that doesn't rhyme at all.

But now we're moving on and things that just don't run. Yeah. Okay. Aaron, will the next one rhyme with cluck? Yeah. Yeah. Move that bus. Okay.

Mail, deer or dollar bill. Move that buck. Work vehicle. Move that truck. Sediment at the bottom of a water feature. Move that. Move that shale. Move that.

Rhymes with truck. Move that muck? Yes. Oh, muck. Sexual encounter. Move that. Move that. Hand job.

Way to drink from a straw. Move that suck. Action causing a head injury. Move that. Duck? No. I guess duck would be preventing the head injury. We're getting further away, maybe a little bit closer to bus again.

Move that concuss? Yes. Concuss. I would like to see a scene. Okay. GPC, you were building a house on a home makeover show, and you hit your head really hard, and Adel, you are the doctor that is checking to see if he has a head injury. Okay, just look into the flashlight here.

Okay, yeah, I'm fine. I'll get back to work. Oh, I'm not liking what I'm seeing here. Your eyes are dilating, but in a way that's just kind of crazy. Oh, no, no, no. I was built to building the jungle theme bathroom. So I, and it's the shower pipes, it's disposed shower pipes and it hit my head. Uh-oh. But I'm going to go back to do the jungle bathroom because it did not a tiger leopard in the shower.

Oh, boy, you are speaking in fits and starts. Okay, we do have a test here. to, um, to make sure. Do you need us? It's a Dr. Fitson, Dr. Starts. Uh, we can come and we can help. We could help. Uh, if you want a Fitson starts?

Um, let me. I'm a neurologist. I'm a neurologist. We're two neurologists. We're here to help. Fits and Starts is filmed in front of a life to do audience. Is everybody, seeing this? Is this happening a side in my head?

Seeing what? Fitz and Starch is a Daniel. tiger. Who are fits and starts? Huh? I'm going to go back to work if any couldn't hand me to hand her. He's a neurologist. I'm a neurologist.

We like to fix the brain. Okay, you're tapping your toes like there's a song happening. This is not happening. It's how much in a fist and stars. I wonder if Fitz and Starts is their last names? Probably named Greg.

I'm going to bring your wife in for a second. Oh, thank God. Oh, yeah. Bring a wipe in. because I am sweating. Mrs. Collimer. Yeah. How is he?

Is he going to be okay? Very bad. I think he has minutes to... Jungle bathroom. Not live, but minutes to be coherent. He seems to be slipping into a madness. In a jungle bathroom. Hmm.

Do you want to say any last words to him? Whart hog's mouth? This is pretty well-timed. I was going to ask for a divorce. Arsante, my lady. It's pleasure to make your acquaintance. You haven't talked to me like this in so long. Mm, so long.

So long, sucker. Let's take you out to do salsa dancing ballet ballroom. I'm afraid he's turning into J.P. Riddles. This is a origin story for me. I see. Bada me, Arsarte. You didn't think today you'd get the origin story of J.P. Riddles, and yet we're here. He was on a whole take of her show.

He was a man. Working out a home makeover show. He bont his head, he turned Cajun. Just a regular. He went gambit mode. He just was making a jungle bathroom, but he hit his head. Fits and starts were raccoons, by the way, obviously. Obviously.

Obviously, more not me. I'm a neurologist. Action occurring in a debate. Move, that. That. This is actually a very like, prop, like, this feels like it's not contentious. It seems like less of a debate word and more of like a, we're having an adult conversation about this. Move that.

How dare you, you whore. Rebuttal. Rive. Rebut. Rebut. Rebusle. No, that's, that makes more sense. It's disgust.

Oh, discuss. Okay. I'd like to see a scene. Sure. You guys are doing a presidential debate. And GPC, your feelings start getting hurt. Like, you don't like the conflict in this. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. No, I can do my health care plan. Hey, I'm sorry, moderator, can I ask? Yes. Was his health care plan like super mean and, like, targeted? Like, what did he mean when he was like, let's take care of people who can't take care of themselves? And then he coughed and he winked at me and he drank a big glass of water.

Like, I think he would, that was like a, like a. pointed criticism about how your health care plan could be potentially seen as favoring. It felt personal. It's all personal. And not the people. It's not personal, you know. Well, how about you just do your rebuttal? You can, you can be aggressive back. This is, we want to see a show of strength here.

I think I can speak for the audience when I say that. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to go, you know, contentious in this debate, but I can open up my APO research file. You have 30 more seconds, and it's back to your opponent. My opponent's health care plan is an illegitimate son. What the fuck? I didn't read it before. I just kind of started reading as I was speaking.

Oh, boy. Yeah, his privacy. Privacy is a concern, especially if you have an illegitimate son with a foreign national. Oh, boy. I mean, this is crazy. I'd like to get ahead of this. I have an illegitimate son with a foreign national. I think he already kind of got ahead of it.

No fair! No fair! See? I love my illegitimate son. Dude. Oh, can I tell you guys a conspiracy theory I have? Yes. Yes. I've been noticing this more and more,

people who have bumper stickers on their car that say student driver where they cannot possibly be student drivers. I think people are putting student driver bumper stickers on their car so that when they drive like assholes, people see it and get like less mad at them because they have student driver. I was on the highway in Chicago the other day. It was like dead stop on the highway because there's tons of construction.

And what happens a lot of times is people use like the shoulder and they just drive on the shoulder. Like they figured out a fifth lane that no one else knew about and they just drive on the shoulder. And I saw someone doing that and they had a student driver bumper sticker. And I was like, no way you as a student driver are like, hey, I've only been driving for a week. but I think I'm going to just drive like a maniac on the shoulder of the highway. It felt very much like an advanced driver maneuver. I don't think I've ever seen a student driver bumper sticker. I've seen it on the back or sides of cars where it's like obviously like a like a driver's ed instructor.

Oh, oh, interesting. But I've never seen like a bumper sticker. A lot of them are the magnet ones that you put on your car to like that just say student driver. But they're not like the big patches on the side of the car. They're just like they're truly bumper stickers that people put on. I think to calm people down when they're, it's the same thing when people have like baby on board signs on their car. Yeah.

Which I'm like, I think the only reason that you have that is so that like what people don't hate you with their car as much, I guess. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. This is my big conspiracy. Yeah. I actually, DPC approved by the conspiracy board.

Be on the lookout for it as you're driving around the people look out and see if you see people with student drivers stickers on their car when you don't think that. they're actually student drivers. You just made the word 80% world 80% more hostile to student drivers. I'd be curious to see like the studies of does a car or a van with a baby on board sticker get hit less or like I'd be very interested in like the actual studies on that. Yeah. They have way more car seats stolen out of them. I'm not sure if that is a direct corollary or not. To me it feels like when you leave the house and you're like, I'm going to go grab some groceries and your spouse or whatever is like, be careful. And it's like, do you really like buckle down and go, you know what?

I am going to be very careful. I'll be very careful. Or is it just like a platitude, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and my one caveat is you cannot, you cannot just look at a person and they're older and be like, that's not a student driver. I don't think that quite works. I think because older people learn to drive like all the time. Like that's more common.

it's more about their attitude and like the way they're driving. Because I remember being 16 and driving a car and being like terrified. If you don't see fear in that person's eyes, then they're probably not a student driver. Yeah. When I went to the DMV a couple years ago, I was in line next to a guy who had lived in New York his entire life, like full-time New Yorker and moved out here with his wife for her job and was getting his license for the first time. He had never driven. Like, he was like, it's so crazy to be in your late 40s and need to learn how to drive. I have a car for the first time.

Did I tell you that I had like a change of address that was happening since the last time that I applied. Chicago, you have to do this like city sticker thing for where you park your car. And I went to, I went online to like submit a change of address and you submit it and they say, hey, it can be like six weeks of processing time to submit this. You can just go in person and get it done day of. And my renewal was coming up in the month. And I was like, motherfucker. So then I just went out to the, you know, it was.

not the DMV, but the secretary of state office or whatever. And I stood in line for like 30 minutes. And as I got to the very front of the line, it was next to be called. I got an email from my phone that was like, your change of address has gone through. You can, and this was the same day. They're like, you can do it online. So while I'm waiting for them to call me, I'm like, whoever gets there first, I apply online and then get it and like it goes through.

But then I'm at the front of the line. And I just left. I just like walked out because I didn't need to do it anymore. But I didn't, I felt like I should say something to the line because it looked crazy to wait in line for 30 minutes and get to the front and it'd be like, nah, not worth it. But I didn't say anything. And then I thought, nobody actually cares.

But I, it would be better if I turned around and explained that I'm actually okay. Nothing's wrong. I'm just leaving the line because I'm done. There are a million of these, but I'm just going to do a couple more before we go on to our break. Sharp tapping action. Sharp tapping action.

Taping action. Sharp to move that drum? No, it's bus. How close is this to bus? Move that. Percuss, percuss. Percuss, percuss. Percuss, yeah.

I like to see a scene, actually. And then we'll go on break. You two are in the percussion section of a high school orchestra. And Adel, you are kind of bored and you're trying to be chatty with JPC who's just trying to keep time. Oh, man. Man, I hate drumming, right? Hey, hey, man, I'm sorry. If I miss another symbol crash, it's like the most obvious and evident thing in the band.

So I just don't talk to me because I can't miss another symbol crash. Right, right, right. Bada, ba-da-da-ba-ba-2. Don't sing a different beat. Hey, man, don't sing a different beat because I, two, three, four. Crash! Okay. Crash!

It's just a little crash. Remember that song? No. It's just a little crush. What era? Don't talk to me, Mick. Come on, man. Yeah, sorry.

Sorry. It's awesome that you can drum and talk, but I'm... Two, four, six. Don't count either. You're counting to be counting to the... Five, six, seven, eight. Oh, boy. Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh.

Yeah? Do you mind if I crash at your place tonight? Don't say crash, okay? What? We could watch the lost symbol. Dude, I only have one more crash in this song. Everyone will know if I miss it. So please don't talk about symbols or crashing or...

Sorry. Hey, do you think at college will be free mason's? Free masons? I don't... Why would we? Boy, what is going on back there? Josh is talking and I'm trying to do my snare. Josh.

I was only talking to respond to what Ed was saying to me. I swear to... God, I'll move you to the flute section. I swear to God. Oh, I don't know how to play a flute. It's a completely different skill set. Oh, you missed the crash. Well, the band teacher was talking to me. The whole audience is booing. Wow, I've never heard such distaste. Josh, wake up, wake up, wake up. You were having a nightmare.

Oh, I had an accident. About last night, probably, because you fucked up that band concert, huh? That happened? Yeah, that happened last night. You probably dreamed about it. I also peed the bed. Well, flute it is. Oh, man, and I'm sleeping with the bandleader and I'm still on flute? Wait, no, no, you're not sleeping with the bandleader.

Well, you're not the, no. No. I was going to be like a mom or something waking you up. Why are you in bed with me? I'm sitting on your bed waking you up. Sir, can you look into my flashlight again? It feels like you think you're somewhere else. No, no.

Step-mom and a band just like a band later with skinflip. Fits, fits and starts. These raccoons look good as hell. See, a hush-a-thee! Origin story. Two raccoons on symbols? Okay, let's go to break. Adel, JPC, you may have noticed my new diamond and emerald necklace.

I bought it with the money. I saved using Rocket Money. Whoa. Mm-hmm. I realized I was spending like $800 a year on unwanted apps and subscriptions. And then turns out I don't need to do that. Rocket Money canceled them for me. Okay, Aaron, but this, I mean, this necklace looks really expensive.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Okay, I'm seeing a receipt. Adel in the trash can't hear it. Don't think Eric, grab your hand. She spent a lot. She spit a lot on this necklace. The app consolidates checking savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give a user a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using rocket money for years way before they were ever a sponsor of Hey Riddle Riddell. And I love how clear their communication is. If there's a big spend on my card, it will let me know right away.

and it will also let me know what upcoming bills I have to pay. And I'll even negotiate lower bills for you. What a dream. And for someone like me who hemorrhages money, Rocket Money can help set budgets and goals. I get personalized insights in regular reports. And I can receive real time, alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances.

Yeah, so I'm looking at Aaron's Rocket Money right now. And she has a goal for a new diamond necklace. Aaron, this is too many zeros. Aaron, this is too many zeros. Like 18 zeros. What's wrong? Well, let Rocket Money help you. reach your financial goals faster, join rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

Rocketemone.com slash riddle. I have to be honest with you guys. This is not a real diamond necklace. It's a bunch of bugs I convinced to be in a diamond formation. It still costs $100,000. Pretty good. Adel, I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, it's just. Yeah, I have, um, yeah, I have, I have, cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it's a real, it can be a real headache to have a small business. Yeah. And I, I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant. Yeah, we've had some, there's been some red tape with, with the animals serving the food,

but we're working on it. We're working on it. Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You've got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be, anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into

a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else. And that could be about any podcast co-host. And yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not a cry for, you know, attention here. But it's just the reality of owning a small business. But found

has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all, banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes, no more paying for multiple subscriptions in dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I got to tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash. Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles, and Found helps you find your buried co-hosts. Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, But it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses, things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting,

and they build an app that does it all directly from your business checking account. So you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co-house and a big pile of there. One thing that I love about found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases, to make sure everything is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bold officers found. Makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand. Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took 8 feet underground of Aaron saying this.

Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fowundd.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank. Member FDIC, join hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found. Thanks, Aaron. I mean, that was her.

That was definitely her. Yeah, she said that. Yeah, the electromagnet, that's how you get voices from their ground. as electromagnets. Mm-hmm. Look it up. We're not lying. Oh, oh, oh, JPC, hello, it's me, Father New Year.

Oh, Father New Year. What big white beard you have and looks like maybe was like a white-rimmed red hat that has been hastily painted like a different color? Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is off. in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson, they got married.

Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time. Uh-huh. Not to say anything of what Aaron's had. But let me... Hey, Sam, hey, oh, I'm sorry.

What, not Santa. Uh, what, Father New Year or whatever? Father New Year. Lean in here. Look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but... Oh, yeah.

If you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quince? Oh, JPC. Uh, brings... down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quince. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's

actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world. Yeah, see, I mean, I love quince because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting up middlemen and traditional markups, quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But, Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quince away, but no one's kind of giving quince to you.

And maybe this get-up that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe... You know what, Santa? I mean, not Santa. Whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at quince. I absolutely love this thing. It is so warm, it is so comfortable.

And Santa, or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift. Oh, now the curse is lifted. And now you are Father New Year, aka Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you. Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this.

I thought I was going to have to Tim Allen you. Oh, and, oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh, man. Hey, my name is Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell out of two. Chimney. I don't want to... Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self. Wait, is my voice going to change? Oh, man. I'm getting Tim Allen.

Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. And 3165 day returns. Now available in Canada 2. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash riddle. Oh, and I lied. Erud is buried alive. Uh, Adel, JPC. Guess what I just learned about? Um, frogs. Not washing your hands? No and no.

Protein. You like need a lot of it. You need like, you have to eat it every day and you need it to live. It's like a building block of like energy and like being healthy. Did you know? Oh, Aaron, sweetie, yes. Oh, okay. Of course we know about protein.

Are you getting here? Yeah, Aaron, I know about goateen or whatever you said. Protein. Protein, yes. Yeah, I'm pro goats too. Huh. Aaron, protein is part of my routine with Hule. Have you heard of this?

H-U-E-L-Hule. Yum. That's right, yum. I've been using the Hule ready to drink all year, Aaron, and I'm leaning on it hard right now. It's a complete meal in a bottle, 35 grams of protein. Important. Seven grams of fiber. Also important.

And 27 vitamins and minerals. Turns out super important. Yes, literally, ready to go. No prep, no mess. it keeps me full when the alternative is like grabbing a holiday snack in the closet or something. Oh my gosh. I'm now just putting together that grams is not short for graham crackers. I've been eating what I thought was 35 gram crackers of protein every day. Oh, geez, looms. But with Huell, it's so much better because they have a new chocolate peanut butter

flavor that is honestly so good. I really enjoy it. And I like Huell because I wake up, I want to say two to three hours before anyone else in my house. And it's nice to have a quick breakfast that doesn't make any noise, so I don't have to worry about waking anyone else up, and then I can get a quick workout in. It's a win-win with Hewell. Yeah, Aaron Kuhle is great. And I've also been loving Kuel's new canned super greens drink, too. It's got 42 vitamins and nutrients, four grams of fiber, not gram crackers, 25 calories, and no added sugar. In December, especially when my vegetable intake is a little bit lower than usual with the holidays. I'm solving that this year. It's sparkling. It actually tastes good. There are three flavors to choose from apple, peach, and

blueberry. Blueberry is my favorite. Apple's my favorite. Get 15% off your first order at huel.com with code riddle. That's code riddle. Minimum $75 purchase. Thank you, Hewle. And thank you, protein. And that's in the Heel. I literally had no idea.

And thank you, Graham crackers. You're welcome, GPG. Oh, no. Wash your hands. Everyone wash your hands. Everyone wash your hands. And we're back. Everybody just be cool about it.

Everyone be cool. We were counting. I was teaching my kid to play hide-and-seek the other day and I was like, okay, so they have like a stuffed whale rocking chair thing and I was like, hold on to your stuffed well rocking chair, close your eyes and count to 10 and then come find me. But what they were doing was doing that, touching the stuffed well, rocking chair, closing their eyes, going one, ten,

and then turning around with their eyes closed and running through the house. And I was like, no. You have, you have failed every part of this. Instead of playing hide-and-seek, I've taught you a horrible, dangerous game where you run with your eyes close. You don't hide and seek. So closing their eyes, I assume they think they're hiding and then running around, they think they're seeking. Exactly. Should be hide or seek.

I remember playing hide-and-seek and doing the old one, two, skip a few, 99-100, you know, thing, where you like, instead of a count down a hundred, you do the one-two-skip-a-few. But just going one, ten, I'm like, that is... Brilliant. Because I didn't say how to count the tent. I just didn't get there. I don't want a methodology. I want results, damn it. Pictures of Spider-Man.

Okay. Well, I haven't heard back from the committee about not having to do riddles. Okay. They haven't given you. And you submitted full dossier of pictures of Spider-Man, correct? Yeah, full dossier. Dossier. Dossier.

my ami. Okay, these next riddles are from Ross. And Ross said you can do whatever with my name. So. What does that mean? I don't know. I am going to creditcards.com signing up for Ross-themed credit cards. Putting in my information.

This is not. Okay. Okay, we do everyone want. We were on a break. You know. We were on a break. These are quick riddles that describe a person whose name is made up of two names of famous people and or characters that blend together. So these are sandbox-style warm-up riddles.

Okay. For example, the Bay Harbor butcher who served his time in Shawshank Prison would describe Dexter Morgan Freeman. Dexter Morgan Freeman. Okay, gotcha. There's a mix of fictional and real people in here. So, and then Ross says, thanks for getting me through college. You guys rock. You're welcome, Ross.

Thank you for And need for his call I do it I pick a I pick a listener every four years And I kind of get it's called Getting one of JPC's free rides And I have to put all

Every part of that quotes Also Russ says P.S. Please please ask Adel and Aaron if they have seen the guy In TikTok who sings songs And the style of Hugh Jackman and Jean Valjean They are genuinely hilarious

And I think they would both appreciate it a lot Thank you Yes I have It's been sent to me That guy is so fucking funny. Another day, another destiny. Is it that sort of like... He goes, ah, use things like that.

Okay, here we go. I've ended about a guy on Reddit from a podcast from like five years ago that Chris Gether was on who looks like Sebastian Stan but does porn. Oh. I don't remember the username. Huh. The captain of the Millennium Falcon whose guitar gently weeps. Harrison Ford.

Clapton, Harrison, Hans Solo, Hans guitar solo. You can also flip the order. So it could be the... Is it Hansel or Harrison Ford? George Harrison Ford. Yes.

George Harrison Ford. How do you guys feel about that? Yeah, yeah, great. Now knowing that I can flip the order makes me feel better. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. The dog from family guy who used to write for the Simpsons. Is it Peter?

No. guy from family. Brian's the dog. Brian. Used to write for the Simpsons. Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Ooh, nice one. Conan O'Brien Griffin. The one guy who I know used to write for the Simpsons, who's not like Mac Groening or whatever. And then this one, keep in mind that, like, you could add an S or take away an S in some of these. That will become clear at a second.

Okay. And we can always buy a vowel, correct? Always. That's a constant. though. Well, yes. You said I get that for free. I don't have to pay money for a continent. I didn't say that. Yeah, go ahead. JPC, you are Peter Griffin. Would you rather be Peter or Stewie? A Stewie's easier for me. That's right in my T zone. You're Stewie. And Aaron, you've just been cast, this is like season, I don't know, 20, a family guy. And you've been cast as the new dog in the family. And so this is the first episode with Stewie and the new dog voiced by Aaron.

You insufferable dog creature. Hey, we're actually not doing that anymore. We're actually going to try to keep it positive. I'm sorry. I thought this was the live episode recording. Yeah, yeah. The writers, they said that the world is dark and cynical enough as it is, that this is now going to be sort of a family-friendly PBS-style show.

Baby hating a dog is that's where we're drawing the line? Really dark. That's really sad. That's really dark? All you have to do, you're going to You should see my for you page. Okay. You're just going to count to ten. It's beheading videos. Not the violet kind. It's people be getting head. You just are going to look at the family and you're going to count to ten. I call blowjob porn. I call blowjob porn. Beheading videos. That's fun.

You're going to say the number of the day today is ten. One, two, Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ten. That's all you have to do. The number of the day today is silence, you stupid fur bag. Hey, no, see, that's played out. We're done with that. It's Play-Doh?

It's played out. Here, actually, can we get a new baby in here? How do you mean a nude baby? Hold for new baby. Hold a nude baby. Skin to skin. Aren't you tired? Hey, look at me.

Aren't you so tired? You've been doing this 25 years. He must be so tired. Yes, I mean, it's been a long road, and I guess I am sometimes somewhat tired and what I have to do. Okay. Okay. Enough, okay? I am the new baby. I'm little Kyle. Time to rest, okay? Okay. Okay, yes, I guess it's time to rest.

Are we still going to let the white guy do the black guy's voice? Is that still something we're doing on the show? Yeah, we don't draw the light at that. Same. I think that's not, they don't do that anymore, right? They stopped doing that. At one point, they stopped doing that, right? Probably.

For a long time, it was that. But then they stopped doing that. Good. Hey, good. I do enjoy the idea of a family guy episode where it's like, remember this is like that time or da-da-da-da-da. And then Aaron is the new dog is like, hey, hey, hey, we're not doing that anymore. No more flashbacks.

No more. We're not doing that. We're done. I did see a thing the other day. And it was like someone being like, was anyone really offended at the guy who played a poo? on the Simpson and a bunch of people were like yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's why they changed it.

Of course. Of course they were. Why would you think no one was? Ow. Wow. Anyone really offended by a stereotype? Has anyone offended by not just a stereotype but like

the wrong race of person doing that stereotype? Like it's like yeah. That's one thing that offends people. Uh-huh. The founding... Go ahead. No, I'm done.

The founding father who began wandering the severed floor after George Washington. The severed floor? The fuck does that? Oh, so John Adam Scott? Yeah. Oh, the show severance. Gotcha. The deep-voiced white wizard who assassinated the 35th president of the USA.

That's okay. Boyce white wizard. Gandalf the gray. It's an actor who played this. Ian McKellen, Ian McKillen presidents. Deep voice. White Wizard, the white wizard. Hey, can I do the opposite of a dead stop for Ian McKillan presidents?

Because that's... That's awesome. That's pretty good. That rock. Gandalfeuf. It's not Gandalf. It's the White Wizard? So Saraman.

Yeah. But it's the actor? Saramon? Yeah. Oh, that's Christopher Lee? Yep. Christopher Lee, Harvey Oswald. Yeah.

Well done, everybody. Okay. Does anyone care? I would like to see a scene. Uh-oh. Aaron, you are the High Council wizard. Great. JPC, you're a new wizard

and you're trying to vie for your color. Okay. The fate of the universe rests in our hands. Yes. Agreed. We must move forward with no doubt in our heart. Sorry, this is not a Q&A portion. Just everyone wants to put their hands

down. It's more of a rousing speech. Call to Arms. We normally work as individual... Sorry? And will there be a Q&A at any point? No. This is just a rousing speech for us to fight evil.

Get all the wizards together. We normally work as individuals, but today we bring our power... Sorry, what? You're looking at the program like you don't believe me. I just... I haven't been assigned a color yet, and so I can't believe that I'm going to go out to fight... You know? You assigned color.

like three months ago. Did you not fill out the paperwork? Were you just not responding? What was going on three months ago. Oh, what I got in the mail was my color? That's, okay. So, yeah, so I would, so I would change. I am Landry the lavender.

Yeah, so everyone has their sort of thing. I think the only color we have left is beige. That's not true. I am Binnie the beige. See, I still, I don't think we have any colors left. I don't think you can join us this time. Oh, no, no, no. No, I've got a staff.

I can join. No, you got to have a cut. See, this is, we talk about this all the time. Easy. Can I just do a shade? Can I just be like crimson? I know we got Rarney the Red over there. Can I just be, can I do crimson?

You cannot. Okay, what is Riding the Red? I have Crimson. What? You already have crimson? Yeah, we have like, look around, man. There's like 2,000 colors in here. That's crimson.

Your colorblind. Excuse me, Henri the off-light. I'd like to say something. Of course, yeah. Henri, you're the best of us, please. Oh, that's too kind. I simply must not accept that, but thank you for saying. Oh, we love you.

Yeah, we love you, Henry. Thank you so much. Amory, you're the best. Are we sure we're not confusing Henri with me, Enoch the eggshell? Boo! We're so close. Boo!

I'm getting booed? I think we may have a glut of wizards. It feels like if I'm looking around the room and doing some quick math, it seems like we have about 3,800 wizards for every color of the bare paint system. I don't think

we have too many. There can never be too many. Right? Because... Hey, here's an idea. Since I don't have a color, what if I'm the first wizard who does shape? Shape, shape, shape, shape, shape, shape, shape, shape. What if I'm like an octagon wizard, you know? No, that's confusing.

For sure. Strike that. Larry is the lime green here? Hi, Lel. Larry. Shapes might be fun. Larry, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, now that makes sense. Brad Summer, we cared so much for you.

And you know what? You've sort of lost your luster. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It zooms in on his face like fall in love again and again. Larry, the lime green. Our new nemesis. Hey, guys, you know what?

Let's just all go back to working alone. We tried to organize as wizards. I just don't care anymore. I just don't care anymore. Oh, come on, Saraman. Like, you care? You're still good at what you do? No, no.

I just, to be honest, I was going to come here and sort of siphon off all your powers and sort of just like take over, but I just don't have it in me anymore. Aw. But it was nice seeing, you guys. Well, I guess if Saramon, the white's taking off, does that mean white is open?

Like, could I? I think we should retire white. Are you fucking kidding me? NBA players. Like retire a number. Let's retire white. Yeah, we all agree. We're trying to retire.

They already retired Jordan the 33. The great wizard of a doll. 34? 23. 26. It doesn't matter. The sheriff of the small town of Twin Peaks who spends his free time working on his novella breakfast at Tiffany's.

Kyle McLaughlin. So breakfast at Tiffany's is with this guy's name Yep In Cold Blood, Truman Capote Uh huh Okay Truman

Harry S Truman Capote Yeah Is it? Yeah Harry Truman Capote What was the first part of that? The sheriff of a small town in Twin Peaks Is that I don't know His name is Harry Truman?

I didn't know that I didn't know it either The explorer who began The first circumnavigation of the globe Shortly after he was assassinated Is that Magellan? Franz Ferdinand Magellan. Yeah.

No, that can't be right. It is. Ferdinand Magellan, I think, is the man's name. Oh, yeah. You guys got it. Unbelievable. The lead singer of Blondie, who also released one of Aaron's favorite Christmas albums.

Seems like one of the hair window. What is her name? Favreff, Freddie. The lead singer of Blondie. Her name is Blondie. Just Blondie, right? That's her name. Her name is Blondie.

Her name is... Her name is... Let's work backwards from Aaron's favorite Christmas. It's like a crooner. Oh, Bublae. No, he's not one of the most famous. A crooner who's not famous.

Remember, I saw him around Christmas a few years ago and about a hundred dollars. Oh, Harry Connich Jr. Yeah. So, Debbie Harry Connich Jr. Yeah, well done. Whoa. Nice job. Good poll.

The man who genuinely prayed for God to kill Peter Parker and later became Princess of... Monaco. J. Jonah Jameson. Jinnah Jameson. Uh-oh. You just sounded like a bouncy ball falling down the stairs. Jay Jonah Jameson.

It's the actor who plays. Oh, it's from Whiplash. What's his name? No. Oh. That 70s show prayed for God to kill Peter Parker. Oh, Toby. No.

That 70's show. James Franco? Is it the lead kid from that 70 show who played Venom? Yeah, what's his name? Eddie Brock. Oh, Christopher, no, Tofer Grace. Tofer Grace. Princess of Monaco.

Tofer Grace Kelly. Yay. Wow. Tough one. Tough one, but fair. The I. F.F. Agent. Tof, but Fair.

Whose mission is to write Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. What was the first part you said? IMFH, a impossible mission force. Whose mission is to write Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Is it Tom Cruise or is it Ethan Hunt? Hunter S. Thompson. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

The Messiah quoted as saying, I'm Duke of Iraqis, bitch. I'm Duke of Iraqis. Jesse Pinkman? Jesse. Yeah, who was the actor? Oh. Aaron Paul? No, not Aaron Paul.

Yeah. Aaron Paul. Is it Aaron Paul? And dude, it's Paul, Paul, something, right? Paul Atreides. Yeah. Paul Atreides. Fun.

Atreides. Honestly, I've only, I've known so much of Jake Paul and Logan Paul that I forgot that Aaron Paul was also like a person whose name is, he's not one of the Paul brothers. No, no, no. Thank God. We have lost him. I do want to see a scene. Aaron and JPC, you're two sandworms.

And you're sort of just gossiping about, um, what's, it's. It's Paula Tray's, but what's his like, doesn't he also have like a monomy gob? Doesn't he have some sort of like nickname or something? Oh, well, so yeah, he's the, uh, uh, well, God damn it. The, the, his, his title. Yeah. Casey's typing, Muabdib. Mubb.

So it's two sandworms gossiping about this new guy, this new kid who might be the muadip. Okay. Hey, it's Casey. I misunderstood what Adel was asking for here. What he was really after was obviously. Listen, I gave. So, um, you know that new

that new human that new what do they call? Ah, something took my dad Muaddee Yeah he's been kind of like

running around like trying to like Oh like I'm I joined the friend And I'm He's not that big of a deal Right Like if someone

Were to have Heating him And now they have a tummy ache Like it's not a huge deal That I ate him Dude no I was just gonna tell you He tamed

Shackaloot So he's like He's like the real deal Like he's like Oh no King of the Sandworms Yeah He's the real deal

What were you saying? I was saying that we should probably Let's, you know what, let's double triple quadruple check on him being the real deal. He's basically going to be the catalyst for like a whole bunch of shit that's going to happen like basically on Dune.

Right, right, right. We call it Dune. Or he's sort of like a bad oyster. Huh? Or just upsets the tummy for a little bit and then he sort of forgotten to. No, yeah, he slapped me hard in the face. I'm like a million times.

bigger than him and I was like, damn, that's a slap. Like, whoa, move up deep is real deal. Holyfield, you know? But, like, obviously if, like, one of us was kind of like a little, like a little drunk and a little hungry, right? And we just got a little snackish late at night. Have you been getting back into the water of life? I'm just saying.

Oh my God. Gary. What have I always told you? Don't drink the water of life. Don't drink the water of life. The spice must flow, Gary. The spice must flow. Oh, I can try throwing them up.

but it was like 12 hours ago, so I just feel like it's too late. 12 hours ago? I ate him. Oh my God. That's why the Harkinans have been dropping nuclear weapons all over the place. He's gone. The little thing that he wears that turns to sweat into water hurts my belly. Oh, fuck.

Well, I don't know what we're going to do. I mean, because that's the whole thing. Please don't be mad at me. I'm not mad at you, but I'm not mad at the situation. I feel like, I don't know what happens now. I feel so uncomfortable when you're mad at me. What happens now? I don't know.

I'm sorry Okay, you know what? We can fix this I know where Frank Herbert lives Let's run our warm bodies over there Let's check in with Frank Herbert Let's just see if he has any other ideas Because I think we kind of fucked up

Like a huge part of what he was planning Let's just go over there And let's see what else he's got, okay? Okay, knock, knock knock knock knock. Hello? Gulp? My God. I'm sorry.

You have fucked us. I'm trying to. get ahead of the problem. Let's see. I'm going to do two more really quick, and then I want to hear a quick voicemail. Okay. The nervous friend, maybe boyfriend of Juno, who is being pursued by the T-800. Michael Sarah Connor?

Yes. That's so good. The Antarctic researcher who is searching for prisoner 24601 while being pursued by the thing. Kurt Russell Crow? Yeah, Kurt Russell Crow. Oh, Casey. We have a voicemail theme. Pretty little show where riddles roan, you can reach our host with your mobile phone.

So leave a message when you hear that tone. Just called 805 riddle one. Wow. Cool. That was wonderful. That was from Sophie. That one was titled Voice Meals and Dragons. And if you've not listened to Gumshoes and Dragons, that's a little homage to the theme song that Arnie Parrot wrote for Gumshoes and Dragons.

Thank you so much, Sophie. Oh, and please, if you have a voicemail theme to submit, please do it. Send it to us. You will probably hear it on the show because I think we only have a few more. H.R.R. Podcast at gmail.com, 30 seconds or less. Hey, this is Amanda. Thanks for being the go-to bisexual podcast. My husband and I have some friends who have never been into escape room.

We love escape rooms. What's a go-to good Chicago area escape room to take some newbies to? Thanks a lot. Have a good day. Okay, honored. I had no idea. Did anyone go to the official bisexual podcast award ceremony? I didn't go. I did. Bipoddle. I was not invited. I would have looked so hot at that. I would have tried to look so hot at that. Aaron, you won best. I want to say, careful. You won best. Great. Period. Oh, you might know best. Period. Jesus. What an award. I would say, and this is a chain, so I guess it depends on how you feel about chains, but there's a chain called the Escape Room.

They have a location in Chicago on, I want to say, Ohio streets downtown, right across from Italy. And I feel like they have the best rooms in terms of like high quality sort of layout and mechanisms and everything works and everything looks really nice. And I feel like specifically at the escape room, the cabin in the woods game and the museum art heist would be two really good ones, I think, for like beginners or newer folk. I love that. I also think that like, and that'll correct me if I'm wrong on this, but do you think you can kind of roll the dice on an escape room and like still have a pretty good experience? Or do you think that there's like a high ceiling, you know, and steep drop off? for escape rooms. I feel like any,

I think, I think you're right where it depends on your crew. Like if you're having fun, the room will be fun. But I have been, there's been maybe like two or three I've experienced in Chicago where it's like, they'll step in and be like,

oh, this is, this remote thing is supposed to work, but it's broken right now. So just pretend that this dropped out of the wall. And then they give you like a slip of paper and you're like, I wish I would have experienced it dropping out of the wall.

So there is like a weird, you know, and it's, people are trying so no fault to them but sometimes it can ruin the magic of it yeah that's that's true i i do hate it when you like do a thing or get an experience and they're like this part of it is broken and we'd have to close it down to fix it and so we're not going to do that you just pretend that a 10 foot robotic mouse came out of this sewer and handed it's like well i'd rather see the 10 foot robotic mouse i guess if i'm paying 45 dollars a person um um adle anything to plug

promote. Yes. What do I have to plug or promote? I would plug or promote Hello from the Magic Tavern, gum shoes and dragons, and the Word Association, all podcasts I think that you should check out. Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote? I don't.

JPC. Oh, my God, you're never going to believe this. I don't either. And this has nothing to do with us recording a little bit ahead so that we can get ahead for the new year. I know exactly what's going on. I know what I'm up to. I know what the world's up to. So don't read into the fact that I have nothing to plug or promote.

All right. Oh, one thing to actually plug in the new year. It's not too late. It is this weekend. We are going to be in San Francisco for San Francisco Sketch Fest. We're going to be at the Gateway Theater on Sunday, the 18th at 4 p.m. and you can still get tickets to that show. So we'd love to see some of you out there in San Francisco.

Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please. Come say hi. Yeah, we'd love to see some of you. And bonus points if you dress up like a New Year's baby. Well. Whatever that means to you. Dealers' choice. Well, Jupiter said money.

Hey, wait. Hey, there, beauties and beast. If you like that, you're a lot. going to love this week's episode. We are improvising from inside the castle and who will be our guest, but Janet Varney. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a head gum podcast. Hi, I'm Drew Offalo. And I'm Jason Offoalo. And we host the Head Gum podcast, Two Idiot Girls.

Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.