Hey Riddle Riddle - #393: Mr. Mouse Bones

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

We play some movie-mashup riddles all the way back from 2019 and then our friend Sandy stops by for a classic Sandbox segment. Don't forget to check out Sandy's daily game: Raddle!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Sandor WeiszEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. We got a lot to get into today, but before we get into any of it, right before we started recording, I'm JPC. That's out there. There's Aaron over there, whatever.

It's the show. Like that episode 400 or whatever. You know the show. Aaron said that she had never, Aaron said that she had never seen Guy Ritchie's snatch. Now, now that I'm saying that, it does sound like, it does sound like I'm saying something else.

Oh, I've seen the movie. Aaron said she'd never seen the Guy Ritchie film Snatch. Never. And then she said that she thought it was like a miss for him. And Adela and I were kind of mystified by that. Incredible movie. Yeah. And it was, I genuinely thought they were messing with me for a second because it has never crossed my desk in a way where someone has told me it's like their favorite movie.

And this is why I'm surprised. When you are a person who dates mostly straight men. Yeah. They usually will not stop talking about movies that they love. And straight men love snatch case you don't clip that. No, you know what, clip it. I want that one. Take that one for me.

I find the most straight man. though of him asking you not to clip it i find that most straight men typically want to rave about interstellar oh yeah oh yeah that seems to be in the last 10 years i feel like that is the movie i've been cornered at a party the most about yeah cornered yeah truly people will talk at you about that movie i was looking that that movie came out when i was in a long-term relationship, obviously still got talked out about it, but I didn't have to get talked at about it on a first date. Yeah. Which is, I think, huge. It's huge. I remember, I think probably around the time that I was in high school, you could not find a straight man who hadn't seen and loved

Boondock Saints. That's what I'm going to say. If I had to hear all about Boondock Saints, why am I not hearing about, and I'm not going to say the name of the movie, because Casey is going to clip it. Snatch is a great film. I always... I also really like lockstock and two smoking barrels. I think that's a great film. I won't stand behind all of Guy Ritchie's catalog. Layer cake. Yeah.

Yeah. Is Lairkekekeye? Yeah, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're telling me you don't stand behind Aladdin? Rock and roll. I forgot Aladdin. Didn't he do a King Arthur movie with Charlie Hunnam?

Wasn't that guy Ritchie as well? I think so, yeah. He's done some, he's done some best. He's done some stinkers. Did anyone see Fountain of Youth? No, what's that? No. Came out this year.

Oh. They came out this. this year. It's John Krasinski and Natalie. Oh, wait, no. That's, that is Guy Ritchie. Yes, I did see that. It was so bad.

Guy Ritching, John Krasinski? And, and, um, fuck, Queen Amadala. What the Black Swan? Natalie. Yeah, I said it already. Queen Amadala. Oh, yikes. Yeah, it's, it is, it is a, that movie's a mess.

It was one that just kind of like slinked onto streaming as quietly, as quietly as quietly as it could. Hey, real quick, didn't John Krasinski get? paid like $80 million for the good news show or something and then did and then that just just floated away into space or something? The good news show. There's a red dot on your forehead. Take the shot.

Take the shot. Well, okay. So talking about snatch and talking about how you could at one point in your life, like you couldn't find someone that wasn't obsessed with that movie. Do you have a movie that you really love that you have never. found anyone else. Not never, I would say, but like, it's very rare that you find someone else that's like, oh yeah, that movie. I love that movie. Or I've even seen that movie. I mean, one of my top two favorite movies of all time is Who Frame Roger Rabbit. And a lot of people have seen it, but I feel like nobody, it just never gets brought up. And I feel like it changed. I feel like it changed cinema. And it definitely changed animation in terms of like they still use the phrase bump the lamp. is still a phrase they use.

And it's... Okay. In the movie, there's a moment where, like, I think Roger Abbott hits a lamp in a bar or something, and it swings back and forth. And it was such a complex shot to get a cartoon to hit a real lamp. And now they call it bumping the lamp. And that's a term they still use in, like, CGI and animation today. So I've...

That movie is incredible, but I feel like people have seen it, but they just... Write it off as like, yeah, it's just a dumb little 80s movie. I mean, hell, you would not have cool world. if it wasn't for who frames a rabbit. I think also Jessica Rabbit being a touchstone for like sex appeal in a cartoon. I don't know about touchstone, but at this point you're just clip farming. At this point, you're just saying stuff to get clipped. Be here with us, JPC.

You're addicted to your soundboard. If we ever, if we ever decide to make clips for social media, I also want to give us like something that we could use on that too. Right. So we never are going to do that, though. No, we're never going to do that. I think this is not one that is so unusual, but I think it's the one that I get most excited when people love it too is Empire Records. Like when that just felt like I think I had to go through most of high school and college, not meeting anyone who loved it. And when I got to Chicago and there were so many people who loved it in the improv community, I was like, yay!

We had a day in the World News Tonight Green Room before show. were for half an hour we just talked about and quoted Empire Records. And then I went home and bought the Blu-ray and said, because I love that movie. And I said, Empire Records watch party at my place and it never happened. I think pretty soon after COVID hit. Oh, yeah. I remember that. It was pretty soon after COVID.

I think it was on Rex Manning Day. Do you think that we all made COVID happen so we didn't have to go to that party? Is that your social anxiety thinking that we did that so we avoided Empire Records? Yeah, I think I pulled a bit of a Lucas. if you will. I just bought a 4K copy of The Thing because I've never seen it and it's on my watch list

and it's one of Adel's favorites. Oh, fuck yeah. We can't watch Empire Records but we can do a thing watch party where we watch that movie. I'm trying to think of mine. I think like when I was younger, my favorite movie was Magnolia.

And I love Magnolia and I couldn't find anyone else that was interested in it. But it was mostly because I didn't have any film buff friends. And I'm not really a film. film buff, but like you kind of have to like movies in more than just like a, I'm going to view a movie. You have to kind of be like into the, you're not going to sit through a three and a half

hour movie just because you're like, I'll watch something today, you know? So I feel like that once that bridge got crossed with like meeting people who had similar aesthetics for a film, I was like, oh, okay, now everybody loves this movie. So you switched over to Conair. Conair I would never put on that list because I can't find a single person who doesn't like con air. It's a crowd pleaser. It's a crowd pleaser. I do feel like if you ever wanted to, you could very much pull off for Halloween Tom

Cruz's character from Magnolia. Oh. T.J. Mackey, I think. Something like that. I want to say tame the... Tame the Snatch. Guy Ritchie Snatch? I think Tom Cruise got his only Academy Award nomination for that movie?

Or did he win? I can't remember. It doesn't matter. I don't think he's won in the Academy Award. Maybe he's just a nomination. He's fantastic in that. Just a deranged lunatic kind of before the days where he came out as like an out and avowed deranged lunatic.

It's very telling for him. GBC, have you thought more about when you want to come out as a deranged lunatic? I know that you're sort of waiting for the right moment in culture. I think I want kind of the right moment in culture because here's the thing. It's not Scientology for me.

Scientology was great for Tom Cruise. I will not begrudge, you know, him for doing that. It made sense for him at the time. It's kind of a dusty religion at this point in its old hat. I'm waiting for the next big, new, like, shining cult religion. I'll get on the ground floor of that one, and then I'll start jumping on Oprah's couch. Not on a TV show, mind you. But, like, break into her, like, I'm assuming Chicago high rise and jump on her couch.

I think she lives on lakeshore. Okay, great. I know where that is. I can get there in 30 minutes. Isn't it crazy that I'm 30 minutes away from just like touching Oprah? I can do that. Well, yeah, every day. I feel like you'd have to run around some bodyguards for about 45 minutes.

That wasn't even Benny Hill. That sounded like the Star Wars thing. I can't get sued. We can't. It's a main feed episode. We can't use the real Benny Hill jingle. And I definitely do remember. But everyone gave their best.

at like sort of like a offbeat Benny Hill jing. Is that close? That's very close about us getting docks? Yeah, doxed. All right, JPC. That's the punish bit. Adela and I are going to hold down the fort. You go see Oprah.

By the end of the episode, come back. You're back in time for plugs. I don't think I have anything to say to Oprah. Really? What would you say? Yeah, what would you say to Oprah? Thank you. Thank you for years of whatever it is he did.

Everything she's done recently has been, you're not going to believe this, a little out of touch. For a woman who bought one fourth of Hawaii, you think she's out of touch? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I would say like thank you for, what was her, oh, precious.

I'd be like, Oprah, thank you so much for precious. Did she have something to do with it? I think she financed it and she was in it, right? Oh. I don't remember that. Am I wrong? Maybe she just financed it. And I'm sorry, this is based on the book Push by Sapphire?

By Sapphire. Oprah's done, Oprah has acted, right? She's done some. She's in the color purple. She was in the color purple. She was in something else, too. She played the character Harpo, which Harper was Oprah back. Well, Oprah is Harpo backwards.

Wow. She was a voice in Princess and the Frog. Was she really? Beloved. She was in Beloved. That's right. Okay. I'm remembering that now.

I've only ever seen two Oprah movies and I think it's beloved in the color purple. We've seen The Princess and the Frog though. Yeah, but I don't count animation because with animation I'll watch a whole movie and then look up who was in it and go, who the fuck were they? I don't, I have like voice blindness. I don't I don't recognize people. just by their voice. I was watching a National Geographic thing the other day and Mariah just like came in

the room and she was like, is Josh Gad doing a voice? Like, was he putting on like a character voice? And I was like, this is not Josh Gad. And then I looked it up and I was like, yes, it is. Is he taking over for Richard Attenborough? It was like Josh Gad like trying not to sound like Josh Gad

and I was like, if you hired Josh Gad I assume, I don't think they're like, hey, can you do something different from what you do? It's just a voice, I know, but tricked me, fooled me, but I'm not hard to fool. So, uh, hey guys, how about some riddles, huh? We don't do some riddles today?

No. No. Get fucked. Get fucked. Fucked. Um, well, hey, here's what I'll say. I won't get fucked, but I will give you some riddles and, uh, and maybe at the end, I get fucked.

Who knows? Um, we'll see how it ends up, how it shakes out. So these riddles are from Lindsay. And Lindsay submitted these riddles, I got to say almost six years ago, which is fun. But I don't, these seem like the type of riddle that we like definitely have done on the show before. I just could not find any record that we've done these riddles on the show before. But it seems right up our alley and it's amazing that we let it sit for six years. Not amazing. That's just kind of how. This is like opening a time capsule. Exactly. It's amazing. It's amazing. Lindsay writes,

this is a movie word game based on mashing of two film synopsies and the titles. So, the last word slash syllable of the first movie makes the first word slash syllable of the second movie. So, I'm giving you synopsis, you take the titles and mash them together. Gotcha. So an example would be a doubting young boy takes an extraordinary train ride to the North Pole while a young, overweight, abused, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her second child is invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes to change her life around. Well, polar express.

We just talked about it. Precious. Polar Expressious. Polar Expressious. Polar Expressious. My brain couldn't combine them, though. Polar Expressious, based on the novel. My brain was going to Polar Expressious Precious.

Based on the novel mush by Santa. Okay, so you get how it works. So you're mashing them up with the first and less syllable. Here's your next one. This yellow transformer goes solo to, Haunt and torment the recently deceased. Bumble Beetle Juice. Bumble Beetle Juice.

Yes. Bum bum bum. All right, are you doing another... Bump bumblebee. No, it got to be free to use. I would actually like to do a scene really quick. Yes. I'm going to be in a focus group talking to you guys about your experience just watching the Transformers and Beetlejuice smash up movie, Bumble Beetle juice.

And you're going to be giving me the feedback. maybe it wasn't a great call to make this movie. Okay, thank you. Just hand up your questionnaires. And now at this point, I just want to hear from you guys. I want to hear what you loved, what you liked, what you think we could maybe tweak in an edit, turn up the color saturation.

What do we think? Yeah, I didn't like the part or I needed to be tweaked when Beetlejuge turns into a car. I thought that was dumb and bad. Oh, which time? The third time Okay, great The third time

When he turns into a Maserati Oh, you didn't like when he turned into a Maserati? No I thought it was dumb and looked terrible So, am I to understand It looked terrible It might understand that we're not watching We're not watching the finished movie

That you're going to use our suggestions And add feedback to, okay Obviously we're not going to do any reshoot But if there was a scene that maybe you found offensive or a scene you thought went on too long. We could maybe fix it a little bit in the edit. There was a scene, I don't know, I mean, I guess it was not the emotional climax, but where Bumblebee is kind of telling Beetlejuice how he really feels about being a car.

And then at one point, it seems like whoever was operating the camera, they saw like an interesting bird and a tree. And the focus really shifted to that bird in the tree for maybe, I don't know, two minutes and then the bird flew away. and then they shifted back into the scene. Was that supposed to happen, or is that part of... So you noticed that. Yeah, it's like a Terence Malick move, or is that just an accident?

It was an accident, and you're not going to believe this. This movie was quite expensive to shoot. It turns out it's a lot of buddy to turn Beetlejuice into a Maserati. So we had to just use what we had. Okay, because there was a moment where Shia Labouf enters a house and says, can I be in this movie? and then off camera you hear no. Well, you hear a pause and then no.

That's what I heard the pause. Oh, great. I heard the pause. Great, you heard the pause. I love it. I love it. I love it. I have a question.

So I've seen two Beetlejuice films. Right. Great, thank you. In the previous Beetlejuice films that I've seen, Michael Keaton has been playing Beetlejuice. Yeah, good eye. Good eye. Good eye.

You. Didn't know you were Australia. Is there a reason why Michael Keaton wasn't in this movie? Well, if you can believe it, he didn't want to do this movie, which we, but we did find New Jersey's absolute, well, not absolute best because he wasn't available. Third best Michael Keaton impersonator to play Michael Keaton as Beetlejuice in this movie. Turns out the impersonator had never seen Beetlejuice. It shows. I think I see what happened here.

It looks like you may be hired a Michael Crichton impersonator. Oh. Yeah, Beetlejuice keeps saying, it's showtime I wrote Jurassic Park. Also, Jennifer Tilly's bumblebee, it was just her painted yellow. Yeah, yes, yes. Okay, another good eye. Good eye to you? Good eye.

What is this that you're, are you re-storyboarding the film? Guys, guys, we can't reshoot this. It is what it is. We're just trying to make it better. Like, what can we add? Well, wait a minute. There's a camera crew here right now. Are we in the film?

Oh, am I in a film? Hold on. I've always wanted to do this. Is he right behind me? Let's tell your mother that we ate the pie. So can I take that again? We're not going to be able to use these. These are from other movies.

Yeah. That just happened. Seen. Okay, here's your next one. Bunny boy is on the run from a murder charge, but clowning around won't save him when his darkest fears come to life and start trying to kill him and his friends.

Donnie Dark. Darnie Dark It. This is so serendipitous. Donnie Dark It. Donnie Darket. You got the It part, but we just talked about this movie in a different context. Earlier on this episode, we talked about this.

The Florida Project It. Um, uh, who framed Roger Rabit. It's who framed Roger Rabit. It's embarrassing that Edel didn't get that. But in his defense, we did cut maybe like a 10 minute chunk on the Florida project out of the episode. So we did talk about that. I think I just thought Bunny Boy was like a character name. Oh.

Bunny boy. Okay. What did you guys think of the Florida Project? I like that movie. I haven't seen it. Fantastic. Really? It's really.

I mean, it's kind of a hard watch, but it's so good. He's like a hotel. owner or hostile owner or whatever. But for a movie that is largely composed of children and actors, children and actors usually take me right out of most media properties. It's really good. Like, they do a great job.

Recently, the kid that played Hamnet and Hamnet, I was like, if he got nominated for an Oscar, I would not complain. I heard somewhere that if you see like a great child actor, most likely you are working with a great director who like, no, because a child is like, they're not going to be, they're not going to have like a toolkit as an actor, right? They're going to be themselves. Like you're going to get what you get from most kids.

So it's like it takes a director being like not forcing them down a path that makes something that they can't do. I'm calling like a 20-30 year shot. The kid from Pam and it's going to win an Oscar. If you're listening to this in 2040, go to my grave and tell me that I'm right. Have you guys seen the video of, I forget it's the actor's name, but it's the kid who played Elliot in E.T.

it's his audition for Steve Spielberg. And he starts crying. Like the little kid is so good. He starts crying during the scene. And then right after he's done, Spielberg's like, you got the part. Yeah. Which is wild, like in the room to just be like, you got it.

Hey, that's how Hollywood used to work. Now it's all Zoom auditions. Here's your next one. A chess-loving banker is wrongfully sentenced to life in prison for murder. But this other losery guy slays this. zombies left and right trying to get his favorite pub and gets no jail time. The Shawshank Redemption of the Dead? Yes, the Shawshank Redemption of the Dead.

My brain was like Shawshank Red Dead Red Dead redemption. That's not right. That's not quite right, isn't it? That's a video game. That's a different game. You're doing a great job playing it. Thank you. I give you A plus on you playing that other game.

Thanks. An old man goes to court to prove he is in fact Santa Claus. and immediately gets his ass kicked by Raoul Julia. Miracle on 40, 34th Street Fighter. It's Miracle on 34th Street Fighter. Honestly, I don't think I would be able to pick what street the miracle happened on. Yeah, I've never seen that movie, but I know of it.

I know it's a popular. I do want to see you soon. Oh, please. Aaron, you are a high, powered lawyer. Thank you. Pantsuit, everything. JPC, you are Santa. You're on trial.

And Aaron, you are cross-examining Santa. Mr. Claus, um... Please, you can call me Santa. No, Mr. Claus. I'm not going to do that. Did you grow up eating sweets? Do you have a sweet tooth? Mr. Claus?

Santa Claus looks at his lawyers, and his lawyers are both like furiously just scribbling at the desk. As any child does, I liked the taste of a cookie from time to time. Cookie? Your Honor, leading the witness. Oh, no, I'm not. I'll allow it.

Oh, shit, anyone could have played the judge, but it was the person. I got their first. I got their first. I didn't mention cookies, but you did. Oh, did I? Cookies being your favorite sweet. Did I say cookies or, uh, deferatively darts to the former of the jury who's just shaking his head, no.

This is the remnants of what was left of the plate of cookies, a sweet family left out to eat on Christmas morning. Next slide. Oh, it's a gruesome murder. Why would you order the slides like that? Because we think you did this gruesome murder. sir. On December 24th,

no, it was the 25th, right at midnight. You went down the chimney, like the sex pest you are, you ate a cookie, you got seen, and instead of saying, you caught me,

you murdered that entire family, didn't you, Mr. Claus? Your Honor, my client is willing to plead guilty to the murder if the opposition drops the 1.8 billion B&E charges?

Your Honor, could I be extradited to the North Pole? No, and no. You pled not guilty. I'll allow it. Come on. I'm playing the judge. I'm playing the judge. That's the Supreme Court. They're sitting in on this one. They knew

it was going to get kicked up anyway. They knew it was coming. I'm dying. Santa Hins. Claret Stavis a big Christmas present. I feel like... It just says bribe on the package. Clarence Thomas takes it with his full chest

because he knows nothing's going to happen. What I've always wanted. A bribe. I do think we've probably... And I'm guilty. This is my fault, I think. We got him. We got him.

Extra. Your honor. I do think we've done more scenes about Santa than anything else in the world. But I think I just... Let's look at her hair and a reddle pie chart. Okay. Hum.

Oh, It's J. T. T. We'll just tell your JPC that we eat. Now the only thing left on the pie chart

is scenes where JPC either has brain damage is J.P. Riddles or is otherwise deranged. 40%. Here's the thing about Santa though. Santa's got to be

one of the most famous characters in the world, right? Sure. Yeah. Not more famous than me. Not more famous than me. Let's check their IMDB star meter. I'm guarantee you Santa's going to higher star meter than you, Aaron. Let's look.

Aaron, if we dropped you into any country around the globe, okay. Do you think from how high? She died. 20 feet? Maybe break, you break 20 feet. No way. Scary, scary. We drop you to any country around the globe. Do you think wherever you land, the people would be like, oh, Aaron Keefe? I would like to think they would help me after I've been dropped 20 feet. I like, they're like, are you okay? And you're like, no autographs, please. Are you okay? Aaron. If I was dropped into any random country from the height of 20 feet and they said, are you okay, JPC? I would know that I had died.

Why are you in so much pain still, though? Oh, Aaron, that's because of where I went after I died. I'd like to see a scene, actually. JPC, you are still Santa from the first scene. You've been sent away. And you're, Adel, you're going to be playing his bunk mate in prison. And it's his first day living with you. Yeah, so, you know, I just, I was at the bar and two guys came at me and I just took a stool and katow.

Cataw? Yeah. That's the sound that stool made when it cracked open both their skulls. whoa damn they live but they turned out to be twins senators twins of us

twins of kids of a senator oh tough break 12 years what are you in for well I mean just like everybody else in here I didn't do it oh

oh oh no I um they got me from murdering a family uh not really how it went are you familiar with the movie uh the Santa Claus

the Tim Allen movie, The Santa Claus? No. Oh, Jesus, you must have been in here for a minute. Well, basically the way it works is if you accidentally kill Santa, you become Santa. Oh, I feel jungle to jungle. Oh, perfect. Same basic principle. You...

Oh, usually if it's one person killing Santa, it's a clean break. But if a whole family accidentally kills Santa, well, basically all of them fuse into... one Santa Claus and it leaves behind what looks like the remnants of a pretty messy murdered family. Oh. Guards? Hold on now. Hold on now. I haven't done to the best part.

This is for something else. Guards? You kill me and then you take the fall. I'm that family. I got turned into Santa. Did someone say guards? What's up? Sorry, I was just on the phone with my girlfriend. I mean, ex-girlfriend. I mean, ex-girlfriend.

Oh, my God, oh my God. I got dumped. Oh, Steve, are you okay? No, boys, I got dumped. Open the door so I can hug you, please. Honestly, I'm not... I tried. I had to try, I had to try, had to try. You had to try, I had to try.

What's up? We're just going to go to the common area. I mean, it's not like we can get out of... Out of the actual prison. Oh, you're new, aren't you? You think I'm stupid. In a way, I'm nude. In a way, I'm millions of years old.

No, I heard about you. you. You can get into weird little small spots. You can sneak out of anything. No, no, no, no. HVAC systems and chimneys are completely different. Just because I can fit in one, doesn't mean I can as soon as I get near a vent.

I can mouse bone my body underneath the grates and sneak out of prison. Why are your eyes darting to the vent, Mr. Mouse Bones? I'm... No, no, I don't have Alex Mac powers. I'm sad. Mouse bones. Mouse bones. Mouse bones.

Mouse bones, mouse bones. Mouse bones. Oh, yeah, I like this. Maybe Mouse bones can run this. Oh, never mind. I'm going to go try to win back Linda. We have something. I do think Mr. Mousebones is something.

Yeah. It's a movie called Mr. Mousebones. Is that something? You turned into a counting crow song? Let me pitch you a movie. Let me pitch you a movie. Let me pitch you the premise of a movie. Go ahead.

You're a person, like you're a criminal, you get locked up or whatever. You go to jail or you go to prison. The first day in prison, you know, you're like scouting out, seeing all of the characters that are in prison. And you see working out in the yard the biggest motherfucker that you've ever seen in your life. And it's Santa. And Santa, like, runs the prison. And it's the real Santa. And you don't talk about that ever in the movie, but he just is the real Santa.

I'm just picturing Jonah, what's his name, from Red One? I'm just, JK Simmons. It's JK Simmons, of course, for pricing the role. And like one day out of the year, they let Santa out to go deliver all the presents and then he comes right back into present. No practical visits? I guess that would not be being let out. That would just be going to true. And it's never known why he's in there.

No, no, no, no. But he's like, he's like, a bad guy. Like everybody, everybody knows. not to get. And they call it Mr. Mousebones because we have to. Okay. On his knuckles is ho-ho and then ho-ho. I would wait for that to come out on streaming, but I would watch it. Have you seen Red One on streaming? No. Well, then you're a liar, Eric, because that's basically the movie and you still haven't seen it on streaming, and we just passed another Christmas season. Okay, you're right. I wish that when they make a bad movie like Red One, which I also didn't see,

I wish that they made it like bad, like good bad, like a bad movie that's so bad that it's enjoyable watching. But everyone I've heard that saw that movie was just like, no, it's just regular bad. It's just like a bad movie. Missed opportunity. Yeah.

If you're in the middle of filming something, because so many actors talk about while I was filming this, I knew like it was a stinker. If you recognize that, which they all have to, just fucking go nuts. Like just. put some real mustard on the ball

like have some fun do your lines in a weird way if you've ever seen bad lieutenant port of call with Nicholas Cage he basically changes his character like three times he just changes his acting choices throughout the movie and it's incredible

that's one of the best movies I've ever seen and it's dog shit but he's having so much fun just being like what if I did it this way and then 20 minutes later completely changing the character I think when people see a bad movie or they see a performance in a movie where they're like, Stanley Tucci was in like a different movie.

I think I want to see a movie where everybody's in a different movie. No one's making coherent choices because everyone's just like, I'm going as big and bombastic as I possibly can. What do we think is the most over-the-top performance in cinematic history? I was just thinking about this because we just talked about. Marilis T. Sophie's choice. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.

We talked about a new Knives Out movie on Review Crew this month, and I was thinking about how funny of a choice it was for Daniel Craig to show up to that first, to Knives Out with that accent choice that no one asked him to do. It's that. Like, I think that is such a big swing of a thing, but it's like, it's tough because you think that a lot of times someone shows up with a big swing of a choice, and the director goes, stop it. What do you do? Stop it.

So they have to be a big enough star that the director can't tell them not to do it. I think that was a big thing with Pirates of the Caribbean or Caribbean, however you will say it, where it's like the first day of filming the producers or, I guess, Disney is, whoever that was, was like, no, shut it down. This is not what we wanted. And then eventually it obviously worked out. I think that for those, that movie, they thought it was going to be a bomb up until it released. They were like, this is not what we wanted.

this is crazy no one will want to see this i think chris tucker and fifth element oh yeah pretty great i think gary oldman in the professional uh i gary oldman in true romance is another one gary oldman is just like we just mentioned three gary oldman movies yeah he's in fifth element as well um

he's willing to go there he's he that guy will go there for sure chew the scenery um All right, here's your next one. After a rough landing, crew members leave the spaceship to go off exploring uncharted territory but return with something terrifying. A teenager from the past. There is another line here that will give it away, but I will see if you guys can get it without that. I don't think I could get either of the movies. After a rough landing, crew members leave the spaceship to go off exploring uncharted territory but return with something terrifying.

This is the first in a series of movies. Back to the future. No, this is a horror film. Not all of them in the series are horror films. In fact, the second one is in action. Alien, Aaron? Alien. Okay.

Alien Gonzalez. But they return with something terrifying, colon, a teenager from the past. Alien Sino Man. Alien Sino Man. Oh, of course. I didn't want to say it, but the next line that they wrote there was a teenager's from the past. Buddy? Buddy.

I do want to see a scene. Yeah. JPC, you and I are high schoolers. And we just discovered in our backyard a big chunk of ice that we thawed out. And Aaron, you have emerged from that chunk of ice as a cave woman. Oh, my God. Hi. Are you?

Are you hungry? Jeff, I don't know. I don't know what to... Are you hungry, food? Am I hungry? Um... I'm cold. Um...

Oh, uh, we can get you some of my mom's clothes. It's... Your mom... I'm your age. Oh, yeah. No, you're like a million. Oh, I was more saying that, like, I guess you could wear some of my mom's clothes. of my clothes.

I was more saying I could get you like, like gendered clothes. Yeah, I don't, yeah, you can wear my clothes. What's that? I don't really care. Yeah.

Is that skateboard? Yeah, so it's a board, wait, you said skateboard. How do you? I've been in ice, but I've been paying attention. Oh.

Oh, yeah. I guess people were skateboarding on that glacier. Yeah, in snowboarding. Whoa. She just did a 180 ollie. Watch this. We're in a hell. Holy shit. She picked up an electric guitar, played it while rimming the pool.

Boys, what do you say I go to high school with you, pretend I'm an exchange student and make you guys popular? That's crazy enough to work. Cut to two weeks later. That didn't fucking work. I heard there was a gas leak. I heard she's not real and there's a gas leak. Seed. A cute kitten is the star of this movie, but after a heartless thief steals the cat,

a rebellious newsboy who dreams of a life as an artist away from the big city has to find a way to save it. Do you remember this movie? This was a movie that was a take on John Wick. Is this like Argyll or something? No, it was where someone steals a cat. It was all about the cat, and the cat's name. Oh, it's, um, it's, um, uh, Key and Peel.

Yes. What was the name of this, though? Well, the cat's name is also kind of a play on John Wick, but like, not on John Wick, but the actor that played John Wink. Keanu. The Keanu. The movie. I think maybe if we had done this in 2019, we would have gotten Keanu a little faster. Yeah.

And what was the second movie? Well, Aaron. Do you know the second movie? Read it again. I was focused so much in the first half. A cute kid does the star of this movie, but after Heartless Thief steals the cat, a rebellious news. boy who dreams of a life as an artist. Keanusis.

Oh, Giannusis, of course, of course. Canoosys. Keanusis. Yeah, Nusis. All right, I want to do, we have a few more, so I want to finish these out. A group of oddball characters enlist to join the force. Insert pranks and helicopter sounds. Oh, maybe I was supposed to do.

No, I can't do it. But school can be rough, especially when the popular click turn on you. Tropic Thunder. That's a group of oddball characters should list to join the force But they're talking about a different force here, Adel Star Wars Empire strikes back to the future

The Star Force School can be rough Especially when the popular click turns on you When we think that is Could be any high school movie Never made That's true Mean girls

Aaron it's mean girls Stand by Mean Girls Awesome When the night Mm-hmm A group of oddball characters enlist to join the force Insert pranks and helicopter sounds Sound effects come to play in a big way in this

This was a series of movies I believe from the 80s They made a lot of them All right Oh, a police academy mean girls Police Academy girls I own all seven police academies in a police academy box set DVD

DVD set Do they hold up I've not seen them since I was a kid I mean They hold up in that they were always What they are I mean I think I very much enjoy them

They're not good movies But I love the actors I love Tackleberry Gotta love Tackleberry Idiocy Michael Winslow Should have been a much bigger star Carved out some nice moments

In Spaceballs Got the bleepie The blops and the blurps or whatever. The bleeps the blops and the blurps. Blurps, thank you. Okay, here's your next one. Paintings, Robin Williams, and suicide, a trip to limbo may save his marriage.

A foreign prince also travels but to hide from his bride to be. What dreams may come? Yep. I don't know what the second one is. Can you read the second part of it? A foreign prince also travels but to hide from his bride. to be. It's a comedy movie. Coming to America.

What Dreams May Coming to America. Yes. Nice. This is a really fun game. Yeah, this is a fun game. I was like, again, I was like, this seems so reminiscent of a game that we've played, but I don't think that we've played this exact one. You know how nothing but excuses? Yeah.

I just want to say that we record for me, usually starting at 8 a.m. Today it was 8.30. 845 because 845 because my internet went out I like you at 7 p.m. Would be able to do these a little faster. Our brains are

we have morning brain right now. I don't think people realize we have morning brain on this show. I think people realize that I just don't think they care. You don't think they care? I don't think they care. I don't think I don't think they don't think they don't need us to be fastest lightning on these riddles. I think the fact that

in this episode, if nothing else we've gifted to the world we've set free into this realm mr mousebones and i think mr bouser bones is going i think we're going to see that scrawled on chalkboards i think we're going to see that spray painted in um bones boom uh underpasses i think mr mousebones is going to be like slender man but a more benevolent entity yeah for sure i feel like um i don't like couldn't agree more in in the children of men world that will be our world in five years. Like, there's going to be like Mr. Mousebones.

Mr. Mousebones question mark graffiti everywhere too. Like, people are going to be waiting for Mr. Mousebones to come and save them. Yeah, you have to leave little mouse bones by the fireplace for him to eat. Who Mousebones the Mousebones is what they'll be spray babies. We have two more. Two more. We have to do these ones. I'll have what she's having, a plate of Connery with a side of evil fighting literary

characters like Captain Nemo and the Invisible Man. When Harry met Sally League of Gentlemen, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. All right. And your last one before we take a break. The first vampire and his sassiest drag queen friends crossed the country to compete in Miss Drag Queen America pageant. Interview with a Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar? It's not interview with a vampire, but it's the first vampire. So think... Is this the Aaliyah movie?

Queen of the Dam? No. That's Queen of the Dam. Oh, Nosepharat, two Wang Fu. Thanks for everything, Julie Newman. Yes, it is that. I was joking about... I didn't realize that was the real...

Actually. The Aalya movie, Queen of the Damned, I think it's also one of the... It's like a prequel to interview with a vampire. Really? I think it's... I think it was... I think so. I just remember, I never saw it, but I feel like from the trailer, it was like the

original vampire. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Yes, Nessratu would classically be. Classically. Well, anyway, thank you, Lindsay, for sending those in. And now, thank you listeners for allowing us this brief commercial break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Adel, I have a confession to make it.

I'd love to make it to you. Okay, step into my makeshift booth here. This is sort of a kissing booth, but. It could also be a confessional. Yeah. I love this. Thank you. According to your sign, the kisses are quite affordable.

$45. That's $45 is so much that it's like not too much to pay, but it's not so cheap that you're like, this is nothing. You know what I'm saying? Thank you. Wish it was any number but 45, but that's fine. That's Casey's favorite number. Casey don't clip that. What's your confession?

Oh, my favorite confession. Oh, this is embarrassing. for me to say. I lost Aaron. Wait, Aaron Keefe? Aaron Keefe, yeah. We were doing kind of like a where's Waldo thing, but kind of like a where's Aaron Keefe thing. Where's Ares? Where's, where's? It doesn't really rhyme. We were taking like a big picture and then I, you know, I got it developed and everything and I was

like, I can't find her anywhere. So. Where in Aaron? Yeah. Well, throw two Hail Marys and I highly recommend better help. You heard this. You've seen this? Oh, okay. So better help. Better help is online therapy so that if you have something that you kind of want to work out, you can talk to a licensed professional instead of going to your friend at his very, very affordably priced, but the wrong number, kissing booth.

Thank you. Change it to 44. Listen, this year, I've been trying to make a lot of changes. I'm preparing for fatherhood. I'm trying to sort of let go of a lot of things. I'm trying to not feel guilt about if I lose, you know, a friend somewhere. So I suggest you do the same by using BetterHelp. Yeah, BetterHelp therapists work according to a straight code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S.

And they have over 30,000 therapists, which means BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of five stars for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. And you don't have to wear a red hat with white stripes on it and get lost in a crowd somewhere. Well, JPC, close your eyes and let me tell you, BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash riddle. That's BetterH-E-L-P.com slash riddle. Oh, there she is. Oh, no, that was a kiss. That was a kiss from you. Every kiss begins with Keefe. March.

Adel, I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult. right? I mean, it's just... Yeah, I have cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it's a real, it can be a real headache to have a small business. Yeah. And I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant.

Yeah, we've had some, there's been some red tape with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it. Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. you got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be, you know, anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do

something else. And that could be about any podcast co-host. And yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not a cry for, you know, attention here. But it's just, it's just the reality. of owning a small business, but Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all, banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes, no more paying for multiple subscriptions in dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I got to tell you, this Bulldozer company, their app is trash. Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles.

And Found helps you find your... buried co-hosts. Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses, things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting, and they build an app that does it all directly from your business checking account. So you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co-hosts at a big pile of said. One thing that I love about found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases, to make sure everything

is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bold officers found. Makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand. Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took eight feet underground of Aaron saying this. Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fowundd.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Banking services are provided by lead bank. Member FDIC, join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found. Thanks, Aaron. I mean, that was her. That was definitely her. Yeah, she said that. Yeah, the electromagnet, that's how you get voices from their ground is electromagnets.

Mm-hmm. Look it up. We're not lying. Oh, oh, oh, JPC, hello, it's me. Father New Year. Oh, Father New Year. What big white beard do you have and looks like maybe was like a white-rimmed red hat that has been pastily painted like a different color?

Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this. Oh, oh, oh. Hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is often. Bermuda with Joshua Jackson, they got married. Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time. Uh-huh. Not to say anything of what Aaron's had.

But let me... Hey, Sam, hey, oh, I'm sorry, uh, what, not Santa. Uh, what, Father New Year or whatever? Father New Year! Lean in here. Look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but... Oh, yeah. If you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quince? Oh, JPC. Uh, brings down. my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love quince.

I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world. Yeah, see, I mean, I love quince

because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical, production. Plus, by cutting up middlemen in traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quince away, but no one's kind of giving quince to you. And maybe this get-up that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe, you know what, Santa? I mean, not Santa, whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off

this cashmere sweater that I got at quince. I absolutely love this thing. It is so warm. It is so comfortable. And Santa, or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift. Oh, now the curse is lifted. And now you are Father New Year, aka Santa. Thank you. Oh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you. Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this. I thought I was going to have to Tim L and you. Oh, oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh, man. Hey, my name's Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell out of Chimdy. I don't want to. Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince for turning me. back into my normal self. Wait, is my voice going to change?

Oh, man, I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada 2. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle, free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. Oh, and I lied. Errant is buried alive.

Oh, excuse me. Oh, hi. Down here. Oh, hello. Hi, I'm a little acorn. Oh. I'm very passionate about teaching children how to save money. Oh, that's so beautiful.

What a great idea. Let me just sort of come up here. Hear me, hear me. And I just want to apologize for eating so many of your people. Huh? Huh? Acorns Early is the money app and debit card that makes it easy to grow kids smart money habits. It lets kids learn by doing they can earn money with the in-app chores tracker, practice real-life budgeting,

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kids early the important lessons of owning, managing, and using money, which is a skill that they are going to need for their entire lives, and they better get used to it the sooner rather than later. Yeah, this is something that I wish I had growing up. This feels like a service that I would have benefited from greatly. What were you saying about what you were eating? We were saying something before. Ready to join over 1.2 million parents and kids who've unlocked their kids' potential with Acorns Early.

Get your first month on us when you head to AcornsEarly.com slash Hay Riddle or download the Acorns Early app. That's one month free when you sign up at AcornsEarly.com slash hay riddle. Say it. And you better get out of here before the squirrels come. Say it. Acorns Early card is issued by NBC Bank member FDIC pursuant to license by FISA USA. Free trial for news subscribers only. Subscription fee starting for $5 per month unless canceled.

Terms apply at acorns.com slash early terms. Hey, Erin, JPC. I got us these leather jackets. Paul Giumani. Let's see. Paul Giumari. Fargo. Hey, ooh, yeah.

Al Pacino. Al Pacino. Aha, aha, uh-ha. Don't make me laugh. No, it's me. Dracula. Dracula. It's Dracula.

and I want to suck you, Sandy? Disgusting. Anyways, hi, Sandy. Sinai, I got you a pink jacket. Put on the pink jacket. I'm already covered head-to-toe in this full-body condom, so I'm not going to need a jacket. Thank you very much.

Can you breathe? No. We've got about 20 minutes. All right, let's get into it. There's a microphone in here, thank God. Thank goodness. Michael Phelps over here, 20-minute breath control. Okay.

How you doing, guys? Pretty good. What's new? What is new? Danny Zucco's here. Danny Zucco's here. We are feeling refreshed. We're feeling...

We love or hate riddles again, depending on... Whatever we did last year. Yeah, after all this time, are you... What's your state of appreciation or tolerance for riddles? Is it more than you started, less? Still crazy after all these years. I feel like it's got to be more. I feel like I'm so desensitized to it now.

Like nothing, no riddle can hurt me in a way that like maybe at one point in my life it could. It feels like that. It feels like when I come, when I used to come on here, you guys were just bleeding from your eyes and ears. From all the riddles that you've had to endure. And now I think you've come out the other side stronger. Yeah. I also, I think I have a greater appreciation for good riddles now than I did before. Oh, good.

So you'd recommend this for everyone. Yes. Spent five years on a riddle podcast. Yeah. And then, yeah, yeah, if you want to feel anything anymore. And Sandy, that's why we bring you in is to up the quality of our riddle input. Yes. Huge mistake, but happy to be here.

Well, let's get into them and we'll see if it's a mistake. But I feel like you usually put some pretty good offerings on the table. Yeah, well, today's is a little different. Today's is less puzzly and more. well, we'll see what it is. I have a list of idioms from other languages that have been translated literally into English. I'm going to tell you the language.

I'm going to tell you the idiom. And you tell me what you think it means. That's it. That's the whole thing. I might occasionally try to speak them in the original language, but for the most part, no one wants to hear that, I think. Sure, for sure. So just to get started, here is something from Dutch.

Translated it is, this is like an angel pissing on my tongue. And we have to tell you. What do you think it means? It's an idiom. It's not literally about an angel pissing on their tongue. What does it mean? Why would you say that?

What context would you say that in? Angel good. It's a great, like wine. Like wine is, like this drink is amazing. That's it. It's very delicious. Whoa. Okay.

All soft earth. Pissing. Why? Because that's what angels do, JPC. Why was angel piss? You know how somebody came up with a brilliant idea to just put water in a can and call it liquid death? Could we do that but call it angel piss? Angel piss. But it's really angel piss.

Adel, I love where your head's at. But it really is angel. And it's a cure all. Oh, you can sell anything to the Dutch as long as it's in blackface. They will buy it. I taught this to Ezra, my son, and he spent the whole weekend telling everyone this without context. So he'd be like, oh, this mom, this dinner's like an angel pissing on my tongue. I think it's funny if Ezra says that to your wife and she immediately just looks at you and it's like, you did this.

I know, I can't prove it yet. I can't prove it yet. She knows who she married. It is from you. Well, not only is she knows who she married and yes, it's usually. for me, he is half my genetics. So whatever he compels me to act also is in there inside him as well. Nature versus nurture, man.

We all understand. Yeah. Here's another one. Angel piss. Gorgeous. The drink that makes you hoary. Someone write that down, quickly. The FDA says we can't legally say it'll make you horny.

Oh, dang. Here's another one. This is from Lithuanian translated. It's born in a trolley bus. Born in a trolley bus. First of all, you're a lithuanian.

No, it's not. It seems like that. It is actually closely related, but it is very specific. That adult sounds right. Like born and barn. Like you're always on the move. Like you can't stay still.

No, it's about someone who's got bad behavior or is rude or discurteous, but about a very specific thing. Are they always pulling hair or something like pulling people? Oh, like a cable on a trolley bus?

Ooh. That's fun. No, nope, no. Taking up too much space? Nope. Is it bad behavior that would be exhibited on a Lithuanian trolley bus?

Yeah, it's a bad behavior that is... Pushing? I guess... Jocelyn? Is it jostling? No, no. It is It's someone who does not close doors behind them

Oh, okay A very specific idiom Close the door on a Lithuanian trolley bus That's what I'm saying JBCC the more you say it The more it sounds like a Like a cut outtake from like A Monty Python movie of like

You pull hair on a Lithuanian trolley bus Like an insult hurled From the French or something There you go I'm hoping this segment goes The derivation of a bunch of new idioms We can all throw in our daily conversations.

They don't close doors behind. I don't know if they do or don't, but they sort of like to criticize people who don't. Oh, people in glass, throw stones in glass houses kind of thing? Something like that. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw Lithuanian trials. What does it mean

in, here's another Lithuanian one. What does it mean if you're hanging noodles on your ears? Oh, you didn't shut the door. You aren't listening. You aren't. You have wet ears. You're wet behind the ears. Wet behind the ears is yet.

We're just filling this in with idioms that we know. You're hanging wet noodles on your ears. So you're so hard-headed that you could boil noodles. You're so hot-headed that you could boil noodles. You're so Italian. Your earrings are pasta? Is that a video? The Lithuanians hate the Italians.

Famously. Can we have a little hint, Sandy? Yeah, are we close? Are we anywhere near Sandy? It is, no, it is more about something you do. I don't even know how to hint this, because there's nothing to do with noodles at all. But I guess it's, it has to do with the things you say.

But the, wait, the Lithuanian word translated into noodles. So it's like. Yeah. And their language. Hmm What would you think? I'll give it to you. Yeah, please.

I don't think I'm going to do it. It is to bewitch someone because they will never lie to you. So if they hang noodles, that means they are lying to you. What the fuck? Lithuania, baby. Lithuania, you know,

either that is so far outside of my cultural understanding that I just have no idea what it is, or Cindy, incorrectly translated two to three of those words. Oh, that's 100% possible. I should say that up front, that it's totally possible that this is all made up or bullshit.

Oh, love it. Whatever. As long as you don't speak these languages, who are you to know? Yeah, exactly. Enjoy it. All right, in Farsi, what does it mean if they say

I rubbed soap on my stomach? Well, based on the precedent, Sandy, it could be literally anything. So I'm not sure how to approach the game now. I rubbed soap on my stomach. Farsi. I guess what I'm asking is, if you were to make up an idiot,

if you were to make up this idiom, which someone did at one point, what would you, why would you say, I rub soap on my stomach? Like trying to solve hunger in a way that isn't smart. Oh, that's so good, Aaron. Oh. Trying to satiate yourself in a way that is not going to work. Oh, yeah.

I don't even have a bunch of anymore. I just rub soap on my stomach. Yes. It's an idiom that means I'm fasting today, is what you're saying. Nope. It is like, is like it's meant to be, a way to describe, I guess in a situation where you are not sure if things are going to go your way. Okay.

Is it better safe than sorry? Like, I rubbed soap on my stomach. Like the people that cover their hands and goo and like set it on fire, like the professional stuntman, you know what I'm saying? It's like if you went to someone's house and you really hope that they made your favorite dish. Yeah. But it wasn't. Later you'd say, well, I rubbed soap on my stomach.

I cleaned out my tummy. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I say, brood. No, it means I got my hopes up and then was ultimately let down. I rubbed soap on my stomach, but it was chicken, not beef. I'm about to completely change the way I talk from now on. I'm going to be talking in this nonsense, guys. I hope you're ready.

Here's another good one. I rub soap on my stomach. That's just crazy. It's got to mean something in a different language. That's probably my own good. To be clear, a lot of these idioms from other languages are the same as in English, but I'm not asking you about those. Got it, got it, got it.

Fair enough. I'm asking you the ones that are weird. Throw booger. Maybe I should just make you guess what language it is, but I don't know how you would even start. Throw boogers in beans. This is Romanian. Throw boogers and beans.

throw baby out with a bath water. Ruin something. Ruin something is right. Screwed up. Yeah. All right. Nice one, Aaron. Okay.

Yeah. You are speaking this language. Yeah, you are some Romanian. Although, I got to say, you throw a couple boogers and some beans, no one's going to be able to tell, you know? JPC. Not eating dinner at your house. What?

Well, you weren't invited. You weren't invited to have my booger beans. Oh, too bad I rub soap on my stomach. Honestly, for dinners that happen at my stomach. house, you know, I have a two-year-old cooking, so you're going to get some boogerbeats. Like, there's a little bit of some booger meats. Cooking your meals for you? Wow.

They help. They help. And by that help, I mean, there's going to be some boogers and meat. That's what I, that's right. They do the amount of help that they can. They're on, they're on bean duty. Yeah. What does it mean in Tagalog if you say itchy palms?

It's you have itchy palms. Someone's talking about you. Compulsive masturbator. idle hands are the devil's tools. Anxious. Itchy palms. Guilty conscious, like you're, like, lying about something or you've done something wrong? Time to scratch the coconuts.

That's why I said. I'm like, like, ready to go, antsy. Yeah, Anthony. It does feel like that. It is sort of the, yes. Time to scratch the coconuts. Yes. Is this on?

Can people hear me say? Time to scratch the coconuts. It means time to scratch the coconuts. Which is an idiom from... Time to make the donuts. Yeah. John Levitts. From French. It's time to scratch the coconuts.

I get it's a terrible word. It is not even a negative idiom. It means you hope financial blessings will come. If you have itchy palms, you are hoping for... Tramped money. Yeah, to get some money land your way. What does it mean... That palms always itching.

If something popped your liver in Arabic. Pop your liver. Is this like a Bob's your uncle situation? Is it that you died? No, it's not that you died. I feel like if your liver pops, you're dead, right? Yeah, I think that's what... Like caught you in a lie?

Ooh. It means, no, it doesn't mean that. It's... Sepsis. It's when you are annoyed with someone. It's, uh, they really popped my liver. Hmm. Was it Prometheus who got their liver constantly eaten out by a...

and then grown back. I would stop saying eating out. We can't say something gross on our show. Starting now. Starting now, Sandy should it. Sandy should it. Aaron,

Sandy certainly should it. One time we said something about poppy. Yeah, he was tied up and an eagle ate his liver every day, I think. And then it healed back or something, or you grew a new liver? Yes, this is. Yeah.

Healed back at night. Eagle put it back. Yeah. Yeah. All for what? All for what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What does it mean if you say, go comb the, the monkeys and Portuguese. Go come. Go fuck yourself. Go come the monkeys. Well, these all actually mean go fuck yourself. Second tier.

Is this like pay attention to detail kind of thing? It actually does mean go fuck yourself. It means go get lost. Oh, okay. Oh. How do you feel about adding that one to your vernacular? Go comb the monkeys.

I'll do it. I'll say it to JPC. I think in English though, it's going to make people a little bit confused because we still have cultural memory of the monkeys that banned and they had that, you know, that long 60s hair. And so people are going to just kind of assume it's a reference to combing old Davy Jones.

Jones. Almost said to crack it. Jones still seems to wrong. Davey Jones from the monkeys, you mean. Yeah. But can you guys name any other monkeys? Peter. Peter Tork, Mike Densmith.

And the other guy. Holy fuck. Sorry, we were looking for spider. Curious George? Spider monkey. Is Curious George a monkey or an ape? So here's a fun thing. He's a monkey, but he doesn't have a tail, which monkeys do.

So he can't be a monkey. Huh? Well, he could be an injured monkey, right? Like, he could be like a mistreated monkey. Yes, but who would mistreat Curious George? Did you guys know that monkeys from South America have prehensile tails, and monkeys from Africa do not? Oh. Because of the continental drift.

Are you lying? Weird. No, they were all one-moke at one point. They have tails, but they're not prehensile. They're not prehensile. They can't grasp onto things. You've never taught me anything real ever in my life, so I'm going to just go ahead and... I got to go three-for-three for zoo facts, so...

Yeah, I was going to say, you said because of the continental drift, but I'm not sure that the continental drift has made all their tails not work. Okay, hold on. Something, hey, something happened. It was millions of years, Sandy. Something happened. Why have we not done Fasten the Furious Continental Drift? They go back in time. Hear me out.

They go back in time to Pan Gia. It's about family. All the continents together, family. They try and keep the panegia together by driving in opposite directions. The studio head is just pushing you out of the door while you're trying to push in and saying this. Hear me out. All right. And then he walks the door and goes, we're stealing down.

I got some more. I got a few more. What does it mean in German? Now, this is obvious. I don't even have to tell you this is German. What does it mean in German to say, I want to use the salami tactic? Pass.

Pass. Pass. It's like at the end of a date when you pass. Is this idiom from... I didn't know there was an option on this show. Is this idiom from like anywhere like 35 to 42? Because pass. I'll pass.

Pass on this one. I want to use the salami. Salami tactic? To use the salami tactic. It is going hard but then get soft about halfway through. So the thing to know about German slami is that you're telling on yourself. He passed that. He passed that far into it.

Is that it served very, very thin. Very fancy salami is served very, very thin. So if you use the salami tactic, you are approaching going through, no, you're going through the information very slowly because it's taking a long time to get through the whole salami. and that is because you are wary to admit the truth. Sugarcoat the truth or reveal the truth in small bits. Okay.

And that's German? That's German. I have it here in German. How are we on time? We can lose anything that I said, right? We actually need all of it. Oh, boy. What does it mean to say, also in German,

I only understand train station. I only understand trains station. I know enough. I know enough language to get through like basic communication in that place. I'm on. That's so small. It's all great to me is what we would say in English. But yes, I know how to say train station and that's it.

I don't understand language at all. What does it mean in Norwegian to say to think suitcase? To be a want like to have wanderlust. To want to travel. Okay. No. Think suitcase. It could also be like the slogan for like Norwegian cruise lines.

or something. Think suitcase. It could be. What does it mean to think suitcase? Oh, it means to like live very economical. Like everything you have could be packed into a suitcase. It does not mean that. Fuck.

Okay. To always have a go-back. Yeah, to be like wander lust, to be thinking... You're close. Get rid of the wander part. Lustful. Wait, I said wander last like two minutes ago. But it's not wander.

It's lust. Just the lust part. To be lustful. Yes. To be, to have your mind. in the gutter. Oh. It's like to say you're always thinking

about sex. You're always thinking about suitcase. Huh. What the fuck does that? How's the Norwegians? I don't know. I got real defensive. I can't understand it.

The Norwegians are worse than the Lithuanians. Crazy weight. Are you trying to say JPC that you can only understand train station? Because if that's what you're going to say it. It's all those understand train station to me.

You've never fucked a suitcase. You're not living, brother. You're not. living brother. What does it mean to swallow the toad in Italian? To get something done early. To just ignore your feelings. I like that to get it over with.

Like get something just be done with it. No, not really. No. To bury the hatchet. Because I read Swallow the Frog. What does swallow the frog mean? Swallow Frog. It's almost like it's like who moved by cheese or any of these self-help books.

But it's basically like to get things. done to stop procrastinating on the bigger, less appealing items of your, like, to-do list. Is it like swallow the frog? Is this like something like anti-French because the Italians in the French? They don't necessarily love each other. Huh? Can we cut that way? To swallow the to.

It means to eat your words. Oh, okay, okay. Yes, to be embarrassed by what you said. You swallowed the toad. Crow. Yeah, exactly. Interesting. All right. Sandy, I think we have time for one more. So can we, can we get your like standout absolute best of these, you know, translations?

Yes. That's, uh, that's what I'll do. Uh, God give nuts. God gives nuts to those who don't have teeth. That's Portuguese. This is, I've seen this bumper sticker before. Yeah. That's a back. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a good question which of these would you put on a bumper sticker oh you could only choose one of these fucking a suitcase what was it fucking a suitcase um is this something about like god gives nuts to those who don't have teeth is this is this something akin to like god gives the hardest road ahead to those who are unprepared kind of like or to those no no there is sort of a phrase

in english but it's more literal it is it's like the you can't always get what you want type of thing where it's like you try sometimes yeah we have Portuguese yeah is it that concept of like um uh I don't know it's like you can ask you can ask you can ask for something but you you'll or like God gives you what you need don't what you want something like that I don't know sort of it's close uh it's more like you ever heard the phrase youth is wasted on the young yes fuck So it's like given you're wasting an opportunity. Yeah.

You've been given you nuts and you don't even have teeth to crack open those nuts, which is a thing we all do, crack open nuts with our teeth. Yeah. Okay. I think that's a line from an Alanis Morissette song. It's like cracking nuts when you don't have teeth. It's like fucking a suitcase on a Norwegian news. It's pulling hair on a Lithuanian train.

And who would have thought? These are idiots. Don't eat the beans. They're boogers. All right. Well, we got there. Sandy, we got there. Hey, Sandy, where can people get to you?

That sounds. Whoa. Hold on. That's the tons here. You can't. You can't get to me. Don't even try. Please don't try.

Please stop trying. Going down on an eagle. If you've got, if you've got, if you've got. You got the teeth for some of some of nuts. You could go to my daily word game called Rattle, which is at rattle.ql.Quest, R-A-D-D-L-E-D-L-E-D-L-E-S-T. It's a daily word game where you're transforming words into other words

using the clues I give you. It's really fun. And then my company is called the Mystery League, which you can find at mystery league. com for corporate team building or any kind of puzzle content. I make a lot of puzzles and try to get paid for it. That's my life. Best in the biz. The coolest.

Thank you very much. Thank you, Sandy. Good to see you all. Good to see you, Sandy. And we send you off the same way every time by having you go down on an eagle. Casey, cut that. Cut everything. Adel. Is there anything that you would like to plug? Yes, I would like to plug gumshoes and dragons. A delightful podcast that the three of us do with our friend Anthony. and hello from the Magic Tavern as well.

Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote? Check out quality time. If you're in Los Angeles, it's a monthly variety show that I host that I'm really proud of. You can follow us on Instagram for the dates, GPC, anything to plug, promote, or review to read. Let's read a review.

If you want to get a review feature, just leave a five-star review anywhere that you leave reviews. Today is a review called It's a Liven from Deus X. Bruchina. says, I don't know if I'd say they're funny per se, but I've been listening to them for six years, started with episode one, my first year of grad school, and at this point, I just don't know what else I do

with my Wednesday and Fridays. Sounds like you're insane, and wear your puppets. Mr. Mousebones, take us out. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Jupiter. I'm scared of Mr. Mousebones coming down my chimney. He can fit under great.

Hey, all right, parents. I mean, the porous. Hey, Riddle. Hey, Redo. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We do improv starters from a book from 1992. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. By joining the Clue crew for $5 a month, or start you to have a free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month.

Plus, you get those out of free episodes. See you there. That was a headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Drew Offalo. And I'm Jason Offoallo. And we host the Headgum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving, and anything in between.

So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.