Hey Riddle Riddle - #395: Peep Impact

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

Ok ok! Next time we'll do more riddlesStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgum podcast. Oh man, guys, great episode today. Great episode. I think we're done recording, though. So what's, does everyone want to hang out or go back to our separate homes and crawl into our Helix mattresses? I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed for sure. I'm going to my Helix sleep mattress to just warm up and get some Zs.

Yeah, because we all took the Helix sleep quiz, which matches us to the perfect mattress based on our personal preferences and sleep needs. And buying a mattress is super easy, super simple. and we all love our Helix sleep mattress. I love my midnight. Lux. It is so soft. Unfortunately, we're the same guy. We all picked the same quiz

and we got the same mattress because our bodies have molded into one riddle being. It hurts. It hurts. But it won't hurt when you sleep on the helix. I get so many compliments on my mattress whenever anyone comes over

and watches Lou or I have guest stay. everyone, they wake up and they immediately go, what is this mattress? It's a Helix sleep, baby. It's a Helix sleep. Well, Aaron, it's not just you and your friends feeling like it's a great mattress. A study found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle while sleeping on a Helix mattress. Hey, I'm never going to use another mattress. I'm a Helix sleep till I die, baby. Well, why would you?

Because they have the happy with Helix guarantee. You can rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk-free customer. first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. I've had my Helix Sleep Midnight Luxe since I moved into my house and I got to say myself, my wife, our fork cats, we all sleep comfortably out of mattress. We feel so safe and secure. It's so warm in these brutal Chicago winters. Cozy. I'm going to go back to back. I'm going to go back. Yeah, just thinking about my helixie measures makes me so comfortable

It's sleepy. And you should all go back to bed as well. And by that, I mean by a mattress. With the President's Day sale, best of the web, this is running from the second to the 25th. It is 27% off site wide. And that is exclusive for listeners of Hey Riddle Riddle. So go to helixleep.com slash riddle for the President's Day sale. That's helixleep.com slash riddle for the President's Day sale.

Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com slash riddle. But don't take it from them, take it from me. Helix Ham, Hinkin. I cannot tell us sleep. At the end. Introducing him at the end. I got to go.

I got to go. He looks him flinking. Adel, Aaron, I know that the two of you have been so mad that they are not putting comedy movies in theaters anymore. Well, do I have a shocking declaration for the two of you? Shock me. Shock. Okay, shock you. Let me rub my socks on the carpet.

I just saw Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie, and it is fucking excellent. Howma what? Huh? Who? Okay, this movie is so funny. It's the first, like, mockumentary style film that I've seen in a while that is, that was making me laugh out loud. Plus, it's, I will not get into it, but when the twists come in this movie, your jaw will hit the floor. in a good way.

And a way that makes you say, I have to clean up my jaw now, but I do like that it touched the ground. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, is this the movie that variety called It's insane that it exists? Yes. And fandom said,

Gives No Fux, a movie you absolutely must see to believe. Yes, you have to see this. A comedic miracle, says Sunshine State Complex. A comedic miracle, DAPC? Yes. So the plot of the movie is, they have a plan to book a show at the Rivoli,

but something goes horribly wrong, and then Matt and Jay accidentally traveled back to the year 2008. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You have to watch this movie. It is only in theaters starting February 13th, Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie. It is so fucking good. I'm there. I'm there.

Again, run, do not walk to the theaters. February 13th to see Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie. You do not have to be familiar with the show. Just go see Nirvana, the show, the movie. You'll get it. It's fucking great. Okay, I'm just going to measure your waist. All right.

And neck size. Measure twice, cut once. Exactly. Hope you don't cut my neck. Is this your first hay riddle riddle that you're getting tailored? Yes, it's actually for my cousin's hay riddle riddle. Yeah. Oh, wow.

I'm standing. Congrats. Yeah. Do you know where you are in the order? Oh. Oh. Okay. Second or third?

Oh, well, great. I know I'm not first. Mm-hmm. I have no idea where I am in the order. Well, yeah. And you're also buying a Hey, Rodor Vidal. Are you standing as well? I'm standing now, but I hope to be seated when I'm done, I guess.

That's lovely. That's lovely. You guys are going to look great. Well, this is going to take about six weeks to measure a episode exactly to your taste. I hate to be a piece. of shit but yeah the episode is um tonight tonight yeah yeah i also hate to be an absolute goddamn piece of human trash but i was kind of hoping that we could get that like we can leave the store with it today's for the episode tonight okay there's like an off the rack oh an off the rack

episode um yeah this one is a 34b cup size i don't know if that is to your liking. And you holding your face with your hand. Is that good for? Audio? No. Certainly not. That would be bad for audio?

Okay, gotcha. Oh, yeah, I guess should I? Get out of my store. Get out of my store. Is there a way? Should I speak to the back of the mic? Would that be more? Okay.

All right. Well, get out. Maybe if I put my head around the mic, I need some sort of like fun of that. Throw's worst hay riddle-red-red-up episode ever out the door, shoves you guys out the door. You land in a puddle. Hey, Anna and JPC.

Hi, Aaron. How's the bespoke, customized? Don't do this. Hey, Riddle. No place. No place. Store going. Obviously.

Obviously, we're going under. Obviously, we're going under. Like uncles on their wives. Wow. I was just going to say, like, panic at the disco, we're going down, down, but that might be fallout. That's fallout boy. Damn. That is a deed fallout boy.

What does Paring at the disco say? Oh, they say, what a beautiful wedding. They say what a beat for a wedding. Had you ever heard of a goddamn door or something? What was the Pete Buttigieg song that was the Pinnock at the Disco song? Do you guys remember this from, I want to say, 2016? Is this high hopes? It's high hopes.

Yeah. That was a song that I legit thought was Fall Out Boy because it sounds just like Fall Out Boy. And then someone told me it was Panic at the Disco. And I was like, well, I guess they really are of the same band. What does this have to do with Pete Buttigieg? Pete Buttigieg had like a dance. His, like, staffers had like a very cringy. dance to high hopes because that was his like campaign anthem i hate it i really hope that all future

candidates for any office have a dance yeah i think you would panic at the disco song well i think you need to do a song and a dance and i and i think that i think that that high hope song was relatively new i don't think it can be like an old song i don't i think it has to be like something top 40 something in the last like, you know, year. But you have to commit to it. Every campaign has to do it. So it's all equal. That's the only way that you get like matching funds or whatever.

The only way that you get campaign funds is if you put together your like campaign dance and have all of your like satellite offices do it. Now, JPC, if you ever ran for, I don't know, mayor of our neighborhood or something. Shit city. What would be your song? What would be your dance? JCPC, if you ever ran for, I don't know, governor of. Idiotville.

Have you ever decided to be the comptroller of Cockstucker Island? Or are you watching this season? Be so good at that. Okay, well, hold on. First of all, I have to look up. I have to go to the Billboard Hot 100, and I have to see what's hot right now. Okay, so Golden is still big right now.

That is, I believe, from K-pop Demon Hunters. If I was a baseball player, I'd walk out to that. Okay. And I'd stop to every person on the way and go, have you seen this movie? It's so good, isn't it? Isn't it so good? We also have, right now,

we have The Fate of Ophelia by Taylor Swift from the new Taylor Swift album. I heard calling on the megaphone. And then there's more lyrics after that. Sure, after that one, for sure. I listened to that album once. We have Ordinary by Alex Warren, which is a reentry.

So that one's just up right back up. Ordinary, you got against the ground. Alex Warren? Alex Warren. I feel like a year ago we did that episode, the JPC Reading Lyrics episode, and that one was on there as well. So really not much has changed. Aaron, do you know Man I Need by Olivia Dean? You're the man I need. You never got to sing to say I fall in. Alex Warren? This sounds like attendance for a middle school. Where are the fun? Where are the Ario Speedwagon? No, it's all gone. And then we have Choose in Texas by Ella Langley. That's the top five.

right now. So, I don't know, tag yourself. Tag yourself. I think mine's going to be ordinary by Alex Warren because without knowing that song, that feels like a horrible campaign message, like the most ordinary candidate in the world. I'd come out to Man Eater and then I'd start rumors about myself that I was a cannibal. Oh.

That I would definitely deny. Aaron, baseball song, walk out, go. What about us you're running for mayor of, let's say, a petting zoo? We're still having fun. I like that. I'd vote for that. No, it would be Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darren. That'd be fun to dance, too.

Coming to America by Neil Diamond, that's another one. It's got to be a classic for running for a campaign office. I mean, my obvious one is what I did in Boston. It's Dropkick Murphy's. They say beans, right? Bean, beans, yes, Boston. People say in Boston even beans do it. Let's do it.

Aaron, is there a way to make minions, but they're from Boston? I think they're kind of halfway there. I'm like, banana. Pactica. Pactica. Banana. The minion language is like a combination of like a bunch of languages. Like there's like Italian and Portuguese in there as well.

Like it's it's not. There's no real languages in that. No, it's it's, it is it is like an amalgamation of a bunch of languages. It's not like, what is like elvish? It's not like a Tolkien's like language that he wrote for the elves. It's like it is just a bunch of languages. Can you imagine if as much work I'd been put into minionish? There's a whole like Bible of language.

Then minion really. I want to get a ring that's engraved and minionish for my wedding. First of all, I believe it's minionese. Sorry. Oh, now I'm hungry. I think tonight. Gemma, should we order minionese? And for our second time, we have talked about eating minions on the show.

What is it about us in eating minions? Well, minionese is like Cantonese is not eating cantons. The blowback we got for implying that minions would be savory was like, nothing we've ever experienced. I think a minion would taste like a peep. I don't know. I think there's meat. So if that's true, then putting a minion in the microwave would make them explode.

Is that what we say? Does that happen with peeps? I don't know. Try it. Is that what happens with people? All of the things about like putting a thing in the microwave or doing a, like putting the, oh, the candy and the Coke, what is that one? Mintos and Coke and stuff like that.

I've never done any of that. I think I've just taken a lot of that stuff for granted because none of it, I'm not a man who loves a mess and all of it sounds like a mess. A name for your autobiography, perhaps. I don't know that I would. I guess it's like if you were doing that to like a hated rifle or something, you could like put a peep in their microwave. Put more than a peep in their microwave in their microwave if it was a heated microwave. You know what I'm saying. In their microwave wing.

In their microwave. I put a peep in the microwave before and it gets like, real big. It expands. It does. I guess it didn't explode, but it expanded to a cartoonish point. And then obviously it was inedible because it smelled like the ozone. I was going to say, that's like a life hack of like turning food into morphine.

Yeah. Jesus taking notes. Yeah, it's like Star Trek to next generation where they, yeah, put a piece of meat in the machine and it makes like 20 replicas. Passing the fish and the loaves that he's like, doesn't it have a microwave? I have a cool trick. I have to wait another 1,950 years. What the fuck? What do they eat peeps?

Well, we're not here to eat peeps. That's my name. We're here to... Are there going to be no peeps? Wait, hold on. I'm just now learning that there's no peeps? I do think peeps should be year-round. I guess they make Christmas peeps, right?

And you think Christmas should be... Gross, guys. Let's not pretend. We don't have to fake that we like peeps. I put them in there with, like... I do, I genuinely like peeps because I like marshmallows, but I do put it in there with like circus peanuts or Cadbury eggs where it's like, I crave them and then I take two bites

and I'm like, I never want to see this again. Have you ever made a, um, some more with a peep? No. Me neither. Oh, okay. But I thought maybe someone would. Well, you can roast a peep out of fire. Is it because peeps are like an Easter treat and s'm,

are like a fall treat. So it's like spring and fall. So like if you had a peep left over, it would probably bad by the time you went to make us more out of it. Jamesik, can I blow your mind? Peeps will last for 40 years. Unless you back away home.

Adel, you are running the seasonal candy summit just to sort of go over like the meat like the year and what we want to accomplish. All right, everyone. Thank you. thank you chocolates. Now let's hear from our confectionery division.

Barb, Alan, what do we have coming up for 4th of July? Okay, I got this. Candy corn used to just be for Halloween. Yeah. Alan looking at the teleprompter and she's not reading any of the words that they agreed on.

Something else is three colors. Barb, no. The flag? Exactly. You said it, not me. Red, white, and blue, candy corn? Red, white, and blue, candy corn.

Yeah, we did that. Sorry, Brax did that in 1997, and they went bankrupt. Oh, but next slide, please. Alan. The next slide is just like, uh, red, white and blue popsicles. What do you? I don't have signs for this. What do you mean?

What do you do it? Help. Okay, those are just bomb pops. Yeah, you're supposed to go on about the history of the bomb pop so we can reveal the new ice cream pot. What are you doing? All right. Cadbury eggs.

They used to be filled with caramel, maybe. How dare you? You see the Cadbury delegation? A bunch of egg sheet people with big moustaches and they're like all up at an uproar. Stand up the table, leave. Please, they all storm out.

Please, please. They all storm out. Shit. Oh, no. We lost. But what if they were filled with a bunch of fireworks and fresh cut grass? Fourth of July, baby.

You, some Reese's shaped like pumpkins? I don't think so. This time, they're shaped like... What's not with pumpkins? Oh, no. Dr. Pumpkins, please. Professor Pumpkins is sit. It's Dr. Professor Pumpkins to you.

You know that Hershey Kiss commercial where it's like, bum on at them and all the Hershey Kisses are bells? What if they weren't bells? What if they were hot dogs for the 4th of July? You mean... Hot dogs! Now that, I can get behind. Aaron, I'd say once per episode, you say hot dogs.

You say hot dogs more than any one that I've ever met. Phantom Aaron says hot dogs. The Phantom Aaron. Let me ask you this question to the two of you who are my friends. Is there a seasonal treat that you think... would be actually good to enjoy year-round. Like, it could have legs. It could have, like, it could have people enjoying it year-round.

I've said this a thousand. Oh, Girl Scout cookies is really good. Not really a seasonal treat, but they... But it is seasonal. Yeah. Yeah. I stand by my hot button take that people seem to not really like, which is I think candy corn would be a perfect movie candy.

Yeah, that's hot. That's a hot button take. That's a hot button take. Sorry. I feel like my skin gets real hot after like five. Your skin gets, I think you're allergic. I think it would be a good movie candy in that I do think that every time I get movie candy, I eat too much movie candy and my stomach gets hurt.

And if I'm eating candy corn, there's no way in hell I'm eating too much because I'm taking one being like, that wasn't very good. Maybe I got a bad one, eating the second one and thinking, okay, they're all bad ones. I can be done. Here's, I think there's, real quick, were you guys in World News during the Marla incident? Or have you heard of the Marla incident? The shellfish, the shellfish incident? She have allergic reaction?

I'll just say it very quickly, which is one time in the green room for world news, our friend Marla, who's fantastic, we were just talking about food or whatever and about like restaurants we'd been to recently or whatever. And Marla was like, I love shrimp so much, but I don't like that, like, it always sucks that like your lips. go numb and we all go huh and she goes you know like when you eat shrimp like your lips like tingle and like go numb and we go what are you talking about she goes guys when you eat shrimp and you get that tingle and you're like sesuan peppers and your lips go numb and we go that's not a thing and then someone Shane or someone is like I think you're deeply allergic to shrimp oh no I do think movie theater should offer like a box that's like uh one fifth junior mints one fifth snow Oh, yes.

One fifth milk duds. Adel, you can be the mayor of AMC. I, that is brilliant. But I want a little, I feel like anytime I'm halfway through or a third of all way through a box of whatever I get at the movie theater, I'm suddenly craving something else. Well, what if it's like one of those fishing tackle boxes, but there's a different snack in all of them.

And there's like popcorn and some and different kinds of candy. That would be amazing. I know that there was a candy store by the. Is it the arc clip that was by I.O? And you could go into the candy store, and it was one of those places where you could just get a bag and then fill it from those scoops of like any type of candy. Except they had branded candy. Like it was like, it wasn't just like, I don't know what it. It was like you could fill it with some peanut jelly beans and some jelly beans.

Yeah, exactly. Do you say hamnet jelly beans? Yeah, I was thinking movie themed candy. Movie themed candy. Well, yeah, I just, in general, I think that. like candy is just going to make your stomach cart because it's candy. That's fair. Not with that attitude.

The thing that I was thinking, because I went to the store recently, and I don't think it's a good year-round treat, I just think that the amount of time that it is available needs to be longer. I think it should be an entire wintertime treat and not just a holiday treat, and that is eggnog. Oh, I love eggnog. Eggnog is so good. I love it. In like early January, if you go to the store and they don't have eggnog anymore, I'm like, come on guys. I mean, it's like, people haven't even taken their Christmas decorations down yet. We should still be selling eggnog.

Yeah, hard agree. Hard agree. Oh, another Christmas treat I would eat year round is those like chocolates that have like orange flavor. Oh, yeah. Those are so good. Yeah, it's a chocolate orange. Those are so good. They used to sell those at Trader Joe's year round.

I don't think they do and I don't think they have in a long time. but the ones that you would like crack on the counter and then it like splits into pieces of orange. Oh, I love that shit. Last year I got some that had like pop rocks in it. It was very good. What? What would you do? Do you feed it to a seagull and the seagull will explode.

But it'll die from the chocolate. Aaron, what would you do if you're out of theater and like the trailers are playing? And then somebody comes over from who works with the theater from concessions and they hand you a 64 ounce, Dr. Pepper. And they go, excuse me, man. This is from the gentleman in H-13. And you turn around and a guy kind of wades at you. I would open the Dr. Pepper, pour it on me like flash dance, and then wink at him. Next question.

And then watch the, and then sit there in your sticky mess. My New Year's resolution is making men regret talking to me. I need to give up an oral. where my Uber drivers stopped talking to me for hour-long rides monologuing at me. So I need to start acting kind of crazy. They have a feature... Hour-long Uber rides? Where are you going?

This happened this past weekend. Oh, okay. Was it like an airport ride? Yeah, it was an airport ride. And I had to report him to Uber. He was a white supremacist. Uber gets the report and they're like, our name's Uber. We're kind of okay with that.

I do like the idea of Aaron hopping in an Uber and being like the guy gets the destination. He's like Zion National Park, huh? Yeah, okay. All right. I do. Like when we were in Portland, every car I got into, guys were like, well, time for my monologue. Remember a guy read me his poetry? Yeah, that's.

Oh, yes, yes. Classic. I've been frustrated because there's a brilliant feature they enrolled a year ago, year and a half ago. which was like you can choose whether or not you can put like I don't want to talk or something I forget what the exact phrasing is but you can basically select like I don't want a chatty driver I don't want to talk to the driver nothing rude I just don't I just don't if I'm getting a Uber from the airport or something I'm just tired yeah but I feel like anytime I select that option they're always like where are you coming from what's going on da da da and I'm like I'm so sorry I don't want to talk do you guys ever say I'm tired I don't want to chat no but I try and apply it. Okay. Because I'll tell you what, I got a 100% success rate for I don't want to chat. And it may just be like my face, but I, any time I've ever, which is not often. I've been in a situation where like someone's trying to talk to me for a while. I always just say like, hey man, I don't really want to, I don't want to chat. I'm dealing with some other stuff right now.

There's been a few episodes we've recorded with Hey, Ritter-Riddle where you did that. Yeah. Yeah, I really don't want to chat. I really don't want to chat. I also, I also once told them I, I've done it with a dentist. I've done it with a barber where I was getting a haircut or I was getting a teeth cleaning, but I wanted to listen to a podcast where I went in there and I said, hey, I'm so sorry, I'm on a work call. I don't have to talk. I just have to listen. And then they don't talk to you at all and you listen to a podcast.

And then the person is like, are you on a work call with Jason Bateman? Yeah, my work's interesting, bitch. What's your work? Cleaning teeth? Fuck you. I also do the thing where every once in a while you like touch your phone and be like, yeah, yeah, Q2. can do. Yep, this is JPC here. I approve of everything Mike said. And then you just like, get right.

Fire all the hot people. If they're over 6-3, they're looking for a new J-O-B. This past weekend when I was in that hour-long Uber ride with the White DePremicist, I kept, because it was really like, it was like five in the morning, so it made sense. I kept being like, oh, yeah, no. And then like nodding off. And he would intentionally go over to those, that group payment on the side to wake you up. And he would smile in the the wake-up strips. Yeah, the rumple strips.

The rumple strip. Well, hey, Casey says that's insane, but Casey, did you hear the first part of the story when he was a white supremacist? Nothing that he does after that will surprise me. What did you call them? Are they rumple strips, right? You guessed my name.

Oh, no. Rumple strips. Gpc, run! Now I must take off my clothes. Rumple strips, please. If you want it, we just want to sleep and drive. My pony. Actually, Aaron, why don't you clear the room and give me at rumple strips?

Jesus. Are you saying, Erin, are you saying rumple strips? Aren't they called rumble strips? Rumble. Rumble strips. I didn't know if you were saying rumble. I'm trying to put a B, a B, not a P. Nice shot of rumple strips.

Rumble. Hey, maybe they're called rumble strips. I have no idea. I think they're called rumble strips. Unless I'm being pranked by very funny people. I told you about my rumble strip prank, right? When my little brother and I were driving to Florida, and he was supposed to be in the front seat keeping me awake,

and he immediately fell asleep. And I ran over the rumble strips and then jerked the car back on the road in a fashion that woke him up. And I looked over at him and said, oh my God, how long was I sleeping? What did he say? He said, I don't know.

I was asleep. And I said, you were sleeping? And then he didn't sleep the rest of the time. Good. Smart. That's what you have to. If you're saying, if you're driving with someone, you're supposed to, if you're in the front seat,

you're supposed to be keeping them awake. Nothing bothers me more than a fall asleep front seat driver. You're not going to believe this. I'm the worst co-pilot of all time. I get chatty and I forget to keep giving directions. I distract the driver. I'll fall asleep when I'm supposed to be awake.

Never trust me. That's like the full gamut of all the bad things. It's like, you don't just pick one. I do literally all of them. I miss the turn and I'm like, where was I turning and you're asleep? And I'm like, oh, come on. Truly, I've gotten that.

feedback time and time again, and I, it has to be true. I have to accept that that is a part of who I am. Japes, I'm trying to think on our, like, two-day road trip, did I, did either one of us, like, sleep during, we must have in the pastures? We took catnaps, but we also were driving during the day, which is if you're driving in the light, it's a lot easier. If you're driving, like, at nighttime with the express intention that you're supposed to be, like, keeping the other person awake, like, if you get a full night's sleep at a hotel and then you're doing six hours on the road, you don't need to stay awake for the other person. Like hopefully they did that, you know, that calculus themselves.

Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. Yeah. Well, speaking of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Hey, hey, hey, let's just not do this. No, we've got to. Leemer. There's still time. Bright-a-bush-a-tailed.

No, Addle. What did we just? What if we just got in the car and go? What have we just got in the car and we went? The thing about 25 minutes of warm-up is I'm ready for a riddle now. Okay, great, great. I'm ready for what, you know? Let's go.

Okay. Here's our first, here's our warm-up riddle. What newspaper does Superman write for? Daily Planet? Superman doesn't write for any newspaper. Clark Kent does. You fucking fell for.

Aaron, you nailed it. Superman doesn't write for a newspaper. Clark Kent writes for the Daily Planet. I do want to see a scene. He's the same guy. I know that. What? I'd like to see a scene.

I'm not living in the world where I don't know that. Huh? I like to see a scene. Aaron, you are Clark Kent. and Superman. You show up to the Daily Planet for work, but you had a long night and you accidentally show up

in your Superman outfit. JPC, you are her Superman's editor. Okay. Ooh, woof, sorry. Miss the train. I know I'm a little late. I will have the story on your desk

by like 3 p.m. absolute latest. I'm sorry. It's such an honor to meet you. I don't know what you mean by late. Okay. You don't have to be. In sarcastic and passive aggressive.

Is there any danger? I know I was late. I'm sorry. I was late. Oh, I accept your apology, and of course I thank you. Can we buy you a... Do you drink coffee? I actually don't even know if you drink coffee.

Could we buy you a coffee? I said I was sorry. You don't really need to rub it in and make me feel worse about this. I'm really sorry I was late. I know it's sort of a strike three situation. I promise I'll stay late. I'm going to get the work done, and I'm really good. Am I making you feel worse?

Is there, is there kryptonite somewhere in here? Lex Luthor owns the building. So there could be kryptonite like in the walls or the lights or something? I don't know. It's not. Okay, I'll look into it. You're really hurting my feelings. Okay, I'm really sorry.

I'm going to go to my desk. Didn't even know that you could be hurt. I mean, of course, you could be hurt because you're, well, you're not human, but I know that you're, you have, you must have. Hey, are you okay, man? I'm so sorry. I'm just so nervous. I don't, I've never. I've never in my life I've never

And I never even thought to Oh you're not here for me are you? Oh my god Do I have to start being nicer to my writers I promise today It starts right now I will be lenient with them I have this

I notice my reflection in the window And I see what's happening Been riding a lot lately Clark he's good But he just he knows he's good So he doesn't try And I'll be easier on him I swear I will be so much easier on it

lunch every day of the week. Yeah. Applebee's. And let them get an app and a dessert. Yes, I will. I absolutely. I can do that. I can do that. And then take them to the park. We cut to next week where we're at Applebee's and Clark, you did it again where you shut up as Superman. Hi, I'm Josh. Have we, oh my God. Oh, my God.

Okay. Yeah, I know this haircut's not great. Could we have a table for two, please? You can have whatever you want. I am so, oh, Mr. Johansson, are you doing a expose on Superman for the paper? Who said Superman? I'm going to go to the bathroom. Oh, your credit card was declined, and also it says Clark Kent. Ah, yeah, boy, picked up the wrong credit card, classic stuff.

You know what, actually? Punches that guy, kills that guy. We got to go to a new restaurant. Punches that guy, kills that guy. Punches that guy. Kills that guy. I don't think Superman would do that, but if he did, very funny. You don't know what he would do.

I don't. Superman's favorite food, what do we think? Does he have to eat? He doesn't have to eat, right? He must have to eat because he is like, he is a being of, you know, human-esque. But doesn't he eat like the sun's energy or something? I hope that's how people describe me. Does he heal from the sun or does he get nourishment from the sun?

to me that's one and the same Like does he have like chlorophyll like plants Like is he just Basically a plant right Yeah he's a plant He's a stooge He's a plant He's a plant

Rows in the sun Dyes in the shade This dude's a plant If you don't have to eat Like is it like vampire rules Like where when they do eat It's like they can't really Digest the food

So it's like nasty to them Like they don't want to eat I guess that's maybe not all vampire rules That's like some specific vampire rules Yeah, some vampires, they eat and then they barf. They get real sick. Yeah, because they're undead. That's like what we do in shadows vampire rules, I think.

I can't remember, yeah. Just like splatter vomit. Yeah. Yeah. That would be a fun thing to put in a Superman movie. You just see him casually put some popcorn in it and then just project it all the vomit. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's right, Superman can't eat. You get sun poisoning from laying out too long.

Here's our next riddle. Yeah. And this is based on a true story. A mother told her little dog. that her much loved puppy had been run over and killed by a car. The girl was overwhelmed with grief and burst into tears. A little later, the mother told her daughter that the dog was alive and well, and that it was all a mistake.

Why this charade? So, it was this little girl's birthday. Her mom got her a pinata designed after her favorite little puppy. She accidentally backed over that with her car in the driveway. her mom also has gut blindness, which means she sees candy as guts and guts is candy. So she assumed that the puppy had been run over. Scalpel. Oh, shit, I forget.

I'm a surgeon with gut blindness. I don't know. Is that it? Is I get it? JPC, you're very far off. Okay. What if it is the little girl was not taking care of the dog and wasn't appreciating it and paying attention to it? And the mom was just like teaching her lesson to appreciate what she has.

that's, I mean, that's just a great tool as a parent. Yeah. To, that's kind of like what JPC did with the Rumble Strip. They say with teaching a lesson to a child, it's not about what lesson the child internalizes. It's just about the lesson that you were intending to teach. So that mom is in the clear. It sounds like she was intending to teach the right lesson and whatever else happened is for the history books. I will say, so this is, this is apparently a true story.

And I guess the reason we know this is a true story is because this happened to someone of, note. And I will say that this led to a successful moment and some money. And some money. I mean, in a round of, I guess at a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this something that happened on a game show? Is this a president's kid?

Not a president's kid. Not a game show, JPC, but you're in the right territory. Oh, oh, sit-com. Lassie. It is, it's a, it was a film. TV show. It was a filmed moment. Is this like America's Funniest Home Videos or some shit like that?

This is a terrible funnyestown video. And unfortunately, I don't know how it happened, but the winner this week is mother tells daughter about puppy's death. I think, honestly. Bob's, I guess, doing the little voices where he's like, Oh, no. Bob, I think you did too much in the video. I think you had too heavy of a hand.

I did just enough. There were too many booy-yoing sound effects that really pushed it over the edge. So this was a movie and the mother made her daughter cry and then told her just joking. This didn't happen. Oh, to get a performance out of the daughter. The little girl was child actress Shirley Temple and her tears were needed for a scene in a film where they couldn't get her to cry so her mother did that. I do want to see a scene. That's awful.

I'd like to see a scene. Funny. JBC you are a stage dad. Yeah. Aaron, you are a Shirley Temple-esque child actor in the 1920s? When was she at the height of her? 30s maybe? They'll say the 20s, sure.

And JPC, you're trying to coax something out of her that is needed for a film or a scene. Great. Hey, honey. Hi, Daddy. Hi, how's everything going? Did you see my tab dancing? I did, yeah. Animal crackers looping loop, loopsin loop, but do you're not filming.

Hey, here, why don't you, here, open your mouth wide for daddy, have a little more heroin. Okay. Okay. Hey, you know what? The director said they love the tap dancing, but this scene actually needs a little bit more of a somber angle. Oh, okay. Do you think you could do that? Let me hand you this glass of water.

You need, you want to sip that? Yeah, you need me to be sad? Oh, yeah. Actually, I brought over my own glass of water. No, drink the one I gave you. Well, I don't want to drink this one, but what I'm going to do is I'm going to put a towel over your mouth and nose, and I'm going to lean you back in a chair,

and I'm going to pour this water on you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, but it's going to feel a lot like you're drowning. Hmm. I think I can get there on my own, ready? No, here we go. I'm a little dad in you love. You don't want to say. this is happening, honey. You don't want to say well this is happening.

Oh, that's perfect. Action, action, action. Mr. President, let's go tapping down the stairs. I would do that with you, child, but I'm FDR. Dad, why didn't you just take a sip of that water I brought you? Hey, honey, bad news. Your mom was killed by a ghost. Yeah? The ghost actually inhabited her body, so if you see her up and walking around, that's not your mom anymore.

It is a ghost, and it's an evil ghost. She jumps up with chloroform, covers it over his mouth. Where was this 15 minutes ago? See. Where was this energy? I was trying to kill you. I was reading about all of the, oh, what's the woman, Judy Garland, who was in Wizard of Oz? Yeah, I was reading about all the whole.

horrible things. Oh, they pumped her full of opioids. All the drugs they pumped her full of. And, yeah, it just, it's, it's, it's,

seems to be that while some systems, you think like, oh, things have gotten a little better, especially if you like, look at where they were, you know, 50 years ago,

80 years ago. But then also, it's not so great now. We're like, huh, I guess it, it, it feels like maybe we're just kind of

on a doom spiral here, huh? It's funny with like Wizard of Oz where it's like Oh what a great movie, a classic. And it's like, yeah, Judy Garland was a pump full of drugs. So she was like bouncing off the walls. The guy who played the tin man had like severe medical issues due to like the paint they put on him. I think it was the first guy that played the tin man was like a it was like a, it was like a first guy was like oh yeah.

I guess we could. Yeah, but I think the other guy had like lifelong health issues. Lifelong health issues due to the paint on his skin. Thankfully the first guy died really soon. The lady played the Wicked Witch of the West. I think they said it took her like eight months to get that green paint off her skin. And it was just the horrific conditions of filming where it's like nowadays, you know, Jacob O'Lordy gets $35 billion to put one contact in that looks kind of big for Frankenstein or something.

Let's take a break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Aaron. Hey, JPC. Oh, Adel. You're sounding. a little eoree today. Yeah. What's on? Oh, I don't know.

My butt fell off. And also it just feels like... I think it's his tail. No. I had it surgically removed. He's molting. You know, around this time of year that, you know, it's love is in the air. And people might be married or dating or single.

And the truth is that most of us are still figuring it out, finding our way. And I guess, yeah, I do have a family. So I don't know why I'm sad. I'm actually pretty happy. But if you're not happy, check out BetterHelp. Does that make sense? Yes. You heard of this?

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So sign up today. get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash riddle. That's BetterHelphelph. H-E-L-P-com slash riddle. Uh, Adel, your butt, you forgot it. Don't leave without it. Hon, hub, hob, hob, hop. Oh, brother. Don't clip it. Don't clip it. Hey, Eron. What's up, Al. Yeah, what's up? I was looking up at the night sky and seeing all these things shooting across the night sky. And I was wondering, what all is out there in the night sky? Well, stars.

We're at war with the Palladians. What? UFOs. Wait, the Palladians. Are those some sort of aliens? And rockets. Which reminds me this weekend, you guys, I realized that I had been spending so much money on a subscription that I forgot to cancel. I did the whole free trial thing.

And then I forgot to cancel it. Aaron. Aaron. But rocket money reminded me. Yeah. Oh, please tell me that you're using rocket money, the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your own. one of the subscriptions monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Oh, big time, big time. And growing your savings is more important now than ever,

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baby is for you, it's all for you, it's for the family. You can see that from your rocket board dashboard without getting overwhelmed that your wife is going to find out about your secret Paladian bank account that you're using to fight these guys. And if you're saving up to fight the good fight, you can do automated savings that grow towards your goals. You can adjust the amount and the frequency, set it and forget it approach. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocket money.com slash riddle, R-I-D-L-E. They look just like us. You say joyfully

They look just like us I want to say oxygen Aaron JPC Good morning to you Good morning to you Adol my dear You know how I used to give my money

To the scroll in my backyard To tuck away for a winter's night Yeah I do Well that scroll ate all my money So I've decided to use something A little more clever Found

Oh thank goodness Oh my gosh, it was so stressful when you're giving all your money to that squirrel. This is so much better. Yeah. Because that squirrel eats money and found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky outdated apps. No more trusting the squirrel who's a wild animal who lives in a tray who likes to eat money.

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That's fowundd.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by a lead bank. Member FDIC. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with found. Aaron, that is not a squirrel. That is Richard Kite in a squirrel costume. He is eating Edel's money. I used to live with George Clooney. Guys, I bet you've noticed that I'm super confident now.

It's all kind of turned around for me. I keep getting compliments on my cashmere oversized Phoenix sweater. Whoa, Erin, yeah. Did you get taller? No, I'm just wearing my favorite brown Mongolian kettel. Meera, oversized VNex, where I got from Quince. Did you shrink? No, no, no.

What the heck? I bet you thought this cost an arm and a leg. It did not. It did not. Oh, you got turned inside out. No, I'm wearing a really cute sweater from Quince. Oh, we can see your bones. Huh.

That's a different thing. We'll talk about that after. Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion. lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season, the list goes on. Yeah, and plus doesn't Quince only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production? I think I remember knowing that about Quince. Yeah, just quality clothing.

I also have a raincoat from them that is so good. It's the type of piece that you're going to keep for years and years and years. I got a cable net sweater from Quince, and I kid you not, it is the only thing. that I have ever followed the directions on to hand wash. Everything else that I own, I'm like, it says hand wash, but I'm not hand washing this. This is, it's so nice that I'm like, I must hand wash this. This is a nice sweater. What I've discovered is since buying items from Quince, I just collect a few very nice items,

and it's about quality over quantity. I used to have like 40 different types of jackets, and I just have two nice ones from Quince, and they pair well with everything. Okay, so here's the deal. I also love their home stuff. home stuff is amazing. If you don't want to get your bones turned absolutely inside out like I was I assume is what happens to Aaron. We'll talk about that later. I think that's just my body. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for

free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too, A, that's quince.com slash riddle. Free shipping and 365 day returns, quince.com slash riddle. This one's on me, guys. I did break my arm and didn't notice. No problem at all. But you look good doing it. I know. And we're back. And Aaron, you were telling us that you were a child actor, which I guess I didn't know about. Yeah.

What were some of the films or shows you were in? Well, it would have been like the 1950s. I was in some of Elvis's early work, like Jail House Rock. Oh, wow. Uh-huh. Who were you in Jail House Rock? I was Elvis. Oh.

Think back. Think really hard. Think back. Yep. That's me. That was me. Okay. Yeah, I can see it.

I wasted pants. Yeah. I guess that was this. That's me. Elvis Aaron Presley. It all makes sense. Wasn't, was Aaron some? I can't remember what's going on with Elvis.

Didn't he have like a twin brother who died in the womb? Did he? And Aaron. His middle name is named after that was going to be his name or something. I can't remember. There's no way for us to ever know. Aaron, what actor do you think you could, you know how like in a, in Hollywood, when they're only shooting like one side of a conversation, they have like a stand in play the other person. So sometimes you'll just see like over the shoulder back of the head.

What actor do you think that you could do the stand in role for? Paul Giamatti. I think it feels the same sitting across from me that it. it does with him. If we're only going by energy, you think you could do Paul Giamati's energy. Yeah, I think if you close your eyes and you're like, who's standing in front of you, Aaron Kiefer, Paul Giamatti, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. What about you?

Could Aaron quick, could you say, yeah, same for me? Eric, could you say I don't want any fucking Merlot? I don't want to do fucking Merlot. Perfect. Sounds exactly like him. There's a guy at I.O. I cannot remember his name. Great.

Great start. I had many conversations with him. He was on a very successful house team, but he was Keanu Reeves' stand-in for like half his movies. Oh, that's cool. Which must be pretty fun. I think he started on the lakehouse or something, whatever that movie is. So, like, yeah, a little bit of later later era Keanu Reeves, but not too late. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Same height, same build. Same sensibility. I think it's, yeah, it's like the people that. have successful like what's that cameos where they just are like people who look like a celebrity

and then you could just like bill yourself as a cameo lookal like of that celebrity like undercutting the celebrity on the cameo I love that. That's so funny. What a lucrative line. Hey, this is for Margaret. This is Beetlejuice here. I guess it's

your birthday and Todd wants to let you know he loves you very much and good luck with a new house. Because Mark Walberg goes through some of his life as not being like Mark Wahlberg. But then eventually he's doing a bunch of work and he's doing this. And suddenly he's Mark Wahlberg. But you are just a guy who kind of looks like Mark Wahlberg.

You live an entire normal life. And then one day someone's like, hey, you kind of look like Mark Wahlberg. And you go, huh. And then suddenly this is your life now. I love that. Then we're off to the races. Speaking of Off to the Races, Aaron, I did it again. Help.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm out of money. I don't know what to hand you. A car with faulty brakes was approaching a level crossing at 75 miles an hour. A train was approaching the same crossing at 75 miles an hour. The train was 300 feet long and it was 100 feet from the crossing. The car was 100 feet from the crossing as well.

Neither car nor train stopped, swerved, or changed speed. The crossing was unmanned and without barriers. Yet, after all that information, there was no collision. How is this so? train went under car went over it was like a underover situation it was an underover situation it was a a toy train that's a very good guess and that's very much in the vein of how these answers you should go but that is incorrect here it was not an over under it was not an over under wasn't a toy train these were full size vehicles um did but when you say crossing you mean that like both of

these, I guess, track and road physically overlaid. Like it was not, it was not a situation where they could both go by unimpeded. Ah, JPC, good sir. I never mentioned a road. A car with faulty brakes was approaching a level crossing at 75 miles an hour. A train was approaching the same crossing at 75 miles per hour. Got it. Were they just driving parallel to each other?

Okay. Yes, but there's one other element to this. Ah, the fifth element, love, Chris Tucker. Aaron, do you're Chris Tucker. I didn't want it anymore below. You got to knock the fuck out. I'm on a plane with Kevin Spacey and Bill Clinton. Epstein's play.

Um, we're missing an element to it? You're missing an element. So there's no road, JPC said track and road on this, etc. There's no road. It's just the track. GPS if they're running parallel. It's like an amusement park. ride?

Is the train shipping cars? Is it just like, is the car just on the back of the train? Oh, that's smart. JP, you got it. The car was on the train being transported. Interesting. You know what? I don't think I've ever seen cars being transported on trains.

I guess it must happen. But you, I've seen it on like, what is it called like semis, right? That have their like, you know, one of those like four car carriers or whatever. But I don't think I've ever seen it on a train. But of course it must happen. That's got to be the easiest. way to transport cars. I'd like to see a scene. Adel and I are in some sort of action movie and we're having this like a classic train fight that we're fighting on top of the moving train and going

in the cars and breaking bottles and stuff. And JPC, you are a paying customer on this train and you are demanding we knock it off. Got it. Elaine, if they come by one more time, I'm going to say something. I swear to God, I think I'm, no, I think I'm going to say something. Come on, please. Just don't rock the boat. It's probably going to be over soon. Because this is the quiet car. All right, Donovan. I've cornered you in the quiet car, but you're going to scream for help. Nice try, Sullivan. Better luck next time, smash his bottle. That was my kombucha.

I paid $11 for that. I'm not going to say something because I paid $11. That guy said quiet car, so he knows he's in the quiet car. Oh, yeah? Yeah, right. Swing. The knife is bright here by my feet. Don't.

Just stop. You're looking for a conflict today. I'm going to take the knife, and I think I'm going to put a stop to this. And the guy behind... Because I have the knife. They don't have a knife now. The guy behind JPC taps on him. Hey, sorry.

This is the quiet car. Could you be quiet, please? Are you kidding me? What about Donovan and Sullivan over here? They're having a fucking knife brawl. Ah, she, you've learned judo since we last spot. Yeah, you taught me. I thought it's going to have a big interaction with that guy,

but he accidentally got his neck broken, pleaded it over, he got judo kicked on the side of the neck. This is in Elena, and I'm out of line. This is outrageous. This is our anniversary trip, and what did you promise before we came? I'm not drunk, okay? I didn't say, oh, okay, me thinks the lady Doth protest too much. I promised I wouldn't get drunk and make a scene.

I'm going to make a scene, but I'm not drunk. There was an end of there. See what kind of honeymoon you have after this? Hey, Donovan. I got this. lady who just stood up and I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her if you don't come quietly. You think I care about that lady? I don't care about ladies. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. Would love an apology, Elaine. This would be the time.

See. Fun. Very fun. I'd like to see that movie. Okay. Let's see this next riddle here. The scene was set for confrontation one night. as rival mafia gangs made reservations at the same restaurant. At one point, a member of Luigi's gang marched up to a member of Roberto's gang and thumped him hard on the back. The poor man fell to the floor. Then he rose, looked at the man who struck him, thanked him, and walked quietly away.

He killed a bug on his back. Was he choking? Was he, was he, was the top getting a little piece of bread? Of course, choking. That's so smart. Roberto's gang member had a fish bone stuck in his throat. The thump on the back was to help clear it.

Well, I'd like to see a scene. This was a gang from the 1920s. Heath whipped it. These are cartoon cats in a gang. This is right after this moment. And Adel, you just saved JPC from choking. And now it's like a little bit of awkward because you guys don't really know what to do next

because you're from rival gangs. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah. A little fishbone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Saw that you were kind of crabbing at your neck. Yeah, so enjoy. Enjoy your belief.

Ah, belief. Enjoy your beef. Enjoy your beef. Steak, whatever. I was eating fish. Huh? I was eating fish. A little fishbone.

Isn't it? You know what? You enjoy, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to buy your dinner tonight. No, no, no, no. Please, please, please. Please, I insist. I absolutely have to buy your dinner tonight.

Hey, if Carmen hears about this, I'm dead. So I can't... He checks my payments. We have a company card. Yeah, we do is. We do us. So, well, you take... Well, don't take care, because...

No, yeah, obviously, I won't you to die. Oh, do you want me to pull up another chair at the table? Would you gentlemen like to sit together? I can... Yes, please. Shit, why did I say that? Can I have a... Combine checks, yes.

Can I have a 32-ounce bleeder? belief, steak, tamahawk. I have my own food. What the fuck am I doing? Uh, yeah. How would you like a cook? All the way? All the way, what am I doing? Am I in love? Uh, yeah, I'll be right back. Um, so how are, this is your wife or? I'm a gumma. This is my gumma. Ah, gumma. I'm assuming this is your wife. This is my gumma. Of course. We never bring. My gumma, new gumma sitting by the fire. That's dumb. That was dumb.

What are we doing? What are we doing? Hey, take out my gun, I'm not going to shoot. We cut to them at karaoke later. They're singing that song. By goodbye, sit by the fire. Why did we ever have bleef, the beef? Yeah, well, hey, let's quash.

Quash. Quash, a bleep. Ah, come on. Quash, I'll believe. Why don't you kill Carmine? I'll kill. Well, my guy's name Carmine, too. I think they're both carbine.

Hey, let's do it. Let's do it together. You kill my carmine, I'll kill your combine. And then... Strangers are out of trade. Yeah, it's strangers not a trade, except we're both of the bob, but we're better to dinner. Everybody knows. Our table's cleared out when they saw us hugging.

Wait, my carmine white, wide, white, brim hat? Yeah, my carmine white, white, brim hat. Wait a minute. Wait a second. Is our... I gotta get out of here. Carmine. Come on.

He's trying to run, but he's stuck in place. Sure. Yeah, that could happen. That happens a lot. You guys, I can't believe we remembered that much of Goodfellas. That's crazy. That was scene for scene, shot for shot, line for line. Martin Scores says it's Goodfellows.

We're really, really talented. It's a worst movie than you remember. Yeah. You think it's good, but it's that bad. Yeah, when Pesci keeps saying belief. The hard cut and Goodfellell? is when they're at karaoke together to see jarring shifted tone but it was the 70s it was the 70s but it was the 70s uh here we go next riddle kate and sarah were old friends who had not seen each other for years

one day they meet up by chance although they spent an hour in each other's company they did not speak to one another neither was deaf or mute and they were still on good terms why did they not speak to each other When they say by chance, they mean at a chance the rapper concert. They were both at the same chance to the rapper concert, and they didn't even know that the other was there. And you can you say, real quick, name a chance of rapper song. Acid rap. Okay. Can you read that again?

Yes. Kate and Sarah were old friends who had not seen each other for years. One day, they meet up by chance. Although they spent an hour in each other's company, they did not speak to one another. neither was deaf or mute, and they were still on good terms when they left. Why did they not speak to each other? Oh, my God, they were at the morgue. Oh, my God, this is such a sad story.

They can't speak at the morgue. Morgues are like libraries. Oh, my God, they're at the morgue. Quiet strange. They were on the quiet car. They were on a quiet car and there was an action scene happening in front of them. Where are some other places, Aaron, that you're not really supposed to speak. The library?

Mm-hmm. Court, the library. They were scuba diving Scover driving Scover driving Scoba driving That was impressive that you went court library scuba diving

Answer, they were divers They were reunited while scuba diving I think I think I will put my cards on the table here I think we have done this one the last six months I feel like this one this one I don't have any memory of this Live show maybe I don't know

It escapes me I don't recognize it I think I think so. I don't know. It was new to me. And we can't know. And we can't, and we shan't know. Hey, even some of the best sitcoms have reruns.

That's true. They all do Halloween episodes. They all do a Thanksgiving episode where Joey gets a turkey stuck on his head. They all do that. They all do that. What if in the short-lived sitcom Joey, they had done a Thanksgiving episode where he got a turkey stuck on his head? And they just were like, they played it like, this has never happened before. or nobody make any references to it.

The other... It'd be funny as all of Joey was him with the turkey on his head where it just was like, we medically cannot get this off. They couldn't even get Matt LeBlanc for the show. They just got a guy who sounds like Joey who could put a turkey on his head. Addle and I recently saw, in Casey as well, we went and saw Avatar on 40X,

and I had seen it the week previous with my wife. And I was like, no spoilers, but there's, and I, correct me if I'm wrong, there were no good trailers. I was like, you could, you could, and in fact, Casey did miss all the trailers, but I was like, you could miss all these trailers. There's nothing here that is, like, worth seeing. But there is one trailer where it's a, it's like an animated movie about a, like, person who puts their, like, mind into an animatronic beaver, and then that beaver goes out

into the world and can, like, talk to other animals in, like, the forest. It's called Hoppers maybe. It's something like that. And the first time I saw it, I turned to Mariah and I was like, what is this? It's like Avatar with Beavers. And then like two seconds later in the trailer, they go, what is this? Just like Avatar? And someone in the trailer goes, it's so different from Avatar.

And I was like, so there are just no ideas anymore. They're like doing Avatar with Beaver, calling it out, and then being like, okay, base is covered. We covered all of our bases. All right, base is covered. And I'm not saying that the movie looks bad or anything Whatever it's a movie it's an animated movie I'm sure it'll be fine But I am just like it's just staggering that they're like we can get away with this right We can sell people the same thing a hundred times that's fine

What is an avatar like premise that you would be thrilled about? Obviously not animated beavers Rom-com with spider next question Okay In general I am very pro the idea of like body switching Because that's what avatar is in general right It's like Freaky Friday, like people switching bodies and you have your own mind and another body. I love that whole concept.

Don't get me wrong. Avatar did not invent that concept. But it is just, I don't know that like, it's like if you watched like freakiest Friday or something and the movie started and they switched bodies. And one of them was like, whoa, this is just like Avatar. And I'm like, calm down. What? We don't have to say it. I've never seen it.

But I remember seeing a trailer for a movie where I was like, okay, this is actually kind of fun, even though it's not. as fresh as an idea as you'd want. I think it's just called Freaky, and it's Vince Vaughn. Oh, that's right. And he's like, maybe he's like a serial killer. And him and the woman he's like hunting switchbodies or something? Yes. I heard that that movie was okay because Vince Vaughn was so, like, he always plays the same guy.

He was doing something very different from what Vince Vaughn normally does. And I'm like, I'm a big fan of that. big fan of actress playing against type. So, you know, more power to them. He's probably playing like a 22-year-old woman. That's the way he's acting. And not a fast-talking scuzzball.

He's always acting like a normal creep. And in this one, he's acting like a killer creep. Here's, this is our next riddle. Possibly our last riddle, depending on... I want two more. Aaron, this is our... Penelterment. Went away from pedultimate.

Charlie was always told by his parents never to open the door of the cellar under any conditions or he would see all sorts of things that he wasn't supposed to see. Jesus. No, not him. One day Charlie heard his parents

leave the house. Knowing the cellar door to be unlocked he couldn't resist opening it out of curiosity. What? Did Charlie see? Christmas presents. Yeah, it was a bunch of Christmas. Christmas present.

He realized Santa wasn't real. I'd like to see a scene. Santa's dead body on a hook. It could have been, hey, it could have been way worse. Adel, you are a kid who just discovered all your Christmas presents in the basement and where are your parents coming home and you're going to confront us about lying to you about Santa. All right.

Just paid the sitter. And now, honey, how was your time with Kelly? Did you have fun with the babysitter? And I'm sitting on the steps with a wine glass full of. milk swirling it. Well, well, well. Milk just slashing me all over the steps. I'll clean that up.

I'll clean that up. I'll clean that up. Yeah, I know. I know you will. Oh, you'll get a towel? What are you going to wear that around your waist? Dress up? I know you two like dress up.

I mean, we just went to the opera. It was fun. You probably wouldn't like it, honey, because it was a little long. But did you have a nice time with Kelly? Did you eat your hot pot? Don Giovanni. I've seen better performances of Don Giovanni. I'll be honest.

We had this whole debate on the whole car. right home. Let's not rehash this. Speaking of WeHash, how about we hash something out about Christmas time? Yeah, it's coming up, buddy. We got a good review from Kelly, so it sounds like Santa is going to keep you on that

nice list. Oh, yes, you guys have a direct line to Santa. Am I getting that white? You have your, his number in your phone? Yes. I mean, all parents have kind of a direct line to Santa. Oh, yes. Well, I've cracked the code.

I've unlocked. Making my nice list. That performance of Don. Giovanni. Okay, honey, come on. I know you played it in college, but that doesn't make you the resident expert. Play it in college, Elaine. I lived Don Giovanni.

For four glorious months, I was Don Giovanni. You were the understudy, honey. Well, as we all know in opera, I mean, you did take me that one time to deflate a mouse. As we all know, an opera, it's not over until the fat lady sings. And this charade is over because I know that the fat man is dad. I thought he was handsome. I thought the guy who played him. Oh, sorry.

I mean, sorry, I'm not trying to call it that fat. I'm just saying like, that is Santa. I know you guys are Santa. Look, I had to gain. It was college. I had to get a lot of weight to play Don Giovanni. I'm not saying that your Don Giovanni was not handsome. I just, I can't mention that an opera.

I thought he had his performance was wonderful and he was handsome. I'm going to take a nap. You do hash this out. Sing. All right. All right. Have a good night. Love you.

Okay. Thank God. We got through that. I think you found the Christmas presents. Yeah. We were at the movies. We saw Batman. Scene.

I love set up a premise and then refuse to acknowledge the character talking about it. So funny. All right, one more, Adel, one more. I'm going to get this one, no problem. You'll be so proud of me. You won't even believe it. Well, Aaron, would you believe that you didn't get the last one? What?

I was joking about the Christmas thing. Oh, really? Yeah, let me read the riddle one more time. Oh, my God. Charlie was always told by his parents never to open the door of the cell. under any conditions or he would see all sorts of things that he wasn't supposed to see. Wasn't supposed to see. One day, Charlie heard his parents leave the house and knowing that the cellar door was unlocked,

he couldn't resist opening it out of curiosity. When Charlie opened the doors to the cellar, what did he see? And this one's kind of, this one's kind of fucked up. Yeah, I mean, like, is there anything in the rest of the riddle that's giving me context for what this is? Or am I just supposed to guess, like, fucked up things until I get it? Like it's unlocked. It's unlocked, like, operative. I don't know why it would be unlocked if it's,

if there's something so horrible in there. Yeah, there's not, there isn't much to sort of suss out. What I'm getting from this riddle is like, hey, there's something fucked up in a cellar. Yeah. What is it? And I'm like, well, I don't know.

I mean, it could be a lot of a body. I guess try and think about Roershack in Watchman. Oh, is it Dr. Manhattan? Doesn't there, big blue penis? I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me. Is it like a, what's it called, like us situation where he opens the cellar and it's like the rest of the world or something? Like he's been locked in the basement?

Charlie opens the cellar door and he sees the rooms of the house. Charlie had been locked in the cellar. So instead of looking into the cellar, he found himself looking out into the house. That is super dark. Yikes. Well, Aaron, we don't know. Maybe he did something really bad. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Maybe it was like a Shirley Temple situation where they had it. No. They only kept it, they only took about it in the cellar when it was time to audition for a Hollywood talkie. I do want you see a scene. Yeah. JPC, you are a, your parents left, you're a kid in the house. You live in the full house.

Sure. You've always been told about to go to the cellar. Aaron, you are JPC's sibling. You've been locked in the cellar your whole life. Mm-hmm. And you finally opened the doors and you two are meeting for the first time as, as brother and sister. Hello?

Hello? Wow. Hey, hi. I'm Charlie. I've never seen another. You feel real. You smell real. You're not as cute as me.

Where are you in the basement? What? Where were you in that basement? What do you mean in the basement? You've been in the basement? Yes. Hey, do we have Dr. Pepper down there? We had Dr. Pepper down there.

I drank it. Nuts! I'm Charlie, what's your name? I don't have a name. Do you want me to give you a name? Can you call me Dr. Pepper? You don't really get to pick your own nickname. I don't have a name.

You have to kind of like, you have to like do something Dr. Pepper-esque before you I mean, I guess you did drink a lot of Dr. Pepper, right? Yeah, can you give me your clothes? I'm wearing my clothes. Why aren't you wearing any clothes? Hmm, how to do this gracefully? Well, I don't have to. Push of you in the basement.

Locks the door. Hey, there's still plenty of Dr. Pepper down here. Hi, I'm Charlie. Hi, I'm Charlie. Hi, I'm Charlie. I got this in the bag. Cut to six hours later. We're home.

Charlie? Hello, I am Charlie. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. I love that we have this relationship. I'm sorry that we're, I can't watch the movie today. I'm pretty tired, so how about we watch the movie tomorrow? Yes, the movie is a thing that I know what it is.

Why don't you always say that? You're such a weirdo. You're such a little weirdo. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, are these new clothes or maybe you're just wearing them differently? Yes. A shirt on the bottom, pants on top. Can't wait to eat that movie with you.

All right, good night. You're my person, a little buddy. You're my, you're my... Wait, did you say eat that movie? Huh? Never mind. I'm sorry. I must... It's a long night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bing, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Huh? Who is it? Uh, Charlie, Charlie, uh, I had all the doctor, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Mr. Pepper. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Hey, who was, what the? Oh, no. Oh, no. Okay, Charlie. It's me, Dr. Pepper. I'm the one from the basement. You just dump that Dr. Pepper on yourself, like in flash dance.

Yeah, and then winked. See it. Very good. Because I'm holding in a sneeze, and I don't think it's going to come out. Do you ever have that feeling? You ever have this? You experienced this?

I've originally had a lot of stuck. yons, but I don't know if I've ever been holding in this. Oh, no, Adel, that can kill you. You gotta get those out. Wait, what? Yeah. Is that a joke? You can't have any more than like three stuck yons and you are you, or you're,

you're as good as dead. Well, let's hurry up and get through points so that I can try, get these unstuck. Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote? Nope. Neither do I. One time I had a fart that went into my brain and gave me psychic power. Hot dogs.

Jupiter. Can we get out of here? You ever remember you? the HateGum podcast.