Hey Riddle Riddle - #396: We Smabi

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

On this week's smabi we take some listeners submitted smabis and then improvise some smabis! Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgum podcast. Oh man, guys, great episode today. Great episode. I think we're done recording, though. So what's, does everyone want to hang out or go back to our separate homes and crawl into our Helix mattresses? I'm going to bed. I'm going to bed for sure. I'm going to my Helix sleep mattress to just warm up and get some Zs.

Yeah, because we all took the Helix sleep quiz, which matches us to the perfect mattress based on our personal preferences and sleep needs. And buying a mattress is super easy, super simple. and we all love our Helix sleep mattress. I love my midnight. Lux, it is so soft. Unfortunately, we're the same guy. We all picked the same quiz and we got the same mattress

because our bodies have molded into one riddle being. It hurts. It hurts. But it won't hurt when you sleep on Helix. I get so many compliments on my mattress whenever anyone comes over and watches Lou or I have guest stay.

everyone, they wake up and they immediately go, what is this mattress? It's a Helix Sleep, baby. It's a Helix Sleep. Well, Erin, it's not just you and your friends feeling like it's a great mattress. A study found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle while sleeping on a Helix mattress. Hey, I'm never going to use another mattress. I'm Helix Sleep till I die, baby. Well, why would you? Because they have the Happy with Helix Guarantee.

You can rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The Happy with Helix Guarantee offers a risk-free customer. first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. I've had my Helix Sleep Midnight Luxe since I moved into my house and I got to say myself, my wife, our fork cats, we all sleep comfortably out of a mattress. We feel so safe and secure. It's so warm in these brutal Chicago winters. Cozy. I'm going to go back to back. I'm going to go back. Yeah, just thinking about my helixie measures makes me so comfortable with sleeping.

you should all go back to bed as well. And by that, I mean buy a mattress. With the President's Day sale, best of the web, this is running from the second to the 25th. It is 27% off site wide. And that is exclusive for listeners of Hey Riddle Riddle. So go to Helixleep.com slash riddle for the president's day sale. That's helixleep.com slash riddle for the president's say sale. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleep.com slash riddle. But don't take it from them. Take it from me. Helix Ham Hinkin. I cannot tell us sleep. At the end.

Introducing him at the end. I got to go. I want him a whole time. He looks him flinking. Addle, Aaron, I know that the two of you have been so mad that they are not putting comedy movies in theaters anymore. Well, do I have a shocking declaration for the two of you? Shock me. Okay. Shock you. me rub my socks on the carpet.

I just saw Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie, and it is fucking excellent. How'm gonna what? Huh? Who? Okay, this movie is so funny. It's the first, like,

mockumentary style film that I've seen in a while that was making me laugh out loud. Plus, it's, I will not get into it, but when the twists come in this movie, your jaw will hit the floor in a good way. in a way that makes you say, I have to clean up my jaw now, but I do like that it touched the ground. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this the movie that Variety Called It's Insane That It Exists?

Yes. And fandom said, gives no fucks, a movie you absolutely must see to believe? Yes, you have to see this. A comedic miracle, says Sunshine State Complex. A comedic miracle, D.P.C. Yes. So the plot of the movie is they have a plan to book a show at the Rivoli, but something goes horribly wrong. And then Matt and Jay accidentally traveled back to the year 2008.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you have to watch this movie it is only in theaters starting february thirteenth nirvana the band the show the movie it is so fucking good i'm there i'm there again run do not walk to the theaters february 13th to see nirvana the band the show the movie you do not have to be familiar with the show just go see nirvana the band the show the movie you'll get it it's fucking great okay um you are Erin Keefe. Yes. And is this your first year entering into the ice cream cookoff?

Tiz. I'm very excited to be here. Well, you have a lot of cold competition. Thanks. Oh, my God. My cooler is burning hot. Uh-oh. Well, I can't wait to see what you have made for us.

Yeah. This ice cream soup a thing has been done? Hot ice cream soup. I'm sorry, are you whispering at me or are you whispering to yourself? Or who is the whisperer? I'm whispering to me myself. Great. I can't wait to cream the competition.

Okay. Yuck. Yuck. Sorry. You can move on for me. Great. This is a long row of people. You don't have to stay here with me.

Zero out of 100. Thank you so much. You haven't even started. Oh, Adel Rifi. Welcome back. Adal Reefay. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm thinking of a different guy. Adul Refe, this is your first year at the ice cream cookoff? That is correct. Excellent. And what do you have for us today? I have an ice cream. Now, what this is, is it's ice cream, but I've crushed Adderall and some uppers to put into it. So it makes you have a very good day.

Say no more, more, more. Oh. You could just kiss one of the contestants? I would have given you a kiss if it meant I could win. Apologies? You said Adderall and uppers and I got very horny and I overstepped and I will go ahead and just give you an automatic pass 100 out of 100. What now? Okay.

Okay. And that brings us to the next booth. That's JPC's booth. Has anyone seen JPC? It seems like the booth is on. unmanned? I think it's part of his big presentation. He says it has a lot of bells and whistles. Oh, okay. A lot of bells and whistles. Well, if there's no one at the booth, I kind of... So much fog machine. What's going on?

Oh, wait, look up. He's dropping from the ceiling. Oh, that's the sky, honey. Oh. He hits so hard. Oh, yeah. He wasn't lower down. He just dropped. Whoa.

He's the ice cream. There's a plane getting away. Oh, wait, that's not JPC. It's some sort of ice cream body. It's melting. Oh. Well, just go ahead and grab a spoonful. It's ice cream in the shape of a man.

Hmm. Not terrible. No, that's a person. I like it. That's a person. I think we all just ate it. I really like it. If no one else is eating it.

Ooh, don't mind if I do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And you scream, I scream. We all scream. Burittley. Podcast. Oh, Adel.

We got into the cannibalism stuff quick. How are you? Tell me everything. Me? Yeah. Okay. Looks around room. I'm...

Adel, how are you? Tell me everything. Recording a podcast. Wow. What else? What else? What else? I am walls and floor.

I'm good. I hear you, Erin. I'm great. It's good to see you. Good to see you. JPC, how you doing? When you guys, I'm okay. When you guys, when someone asks you how you are, do you think that they're always fishing for the immediate askback? Or do you think that people are kind of panicking and, because I think how do you are, how are you kind of went out of fashion with like the onset of the pandemic

like the answer to that question has never been great yeah no one's been good since 2019 in the last like six years no one no one can honestly be like pretty good things are good I mean I always see it as just the almost rhetorical question or almost like in lieu of hello it's just like how are you yeah I don't think rarely do I feel like people mean it as like a how are you like I really want to know how you're doing. I think it's more of like a, hey, how's it going kind of thing?

What do you, if you, if you could, like collectively mid and black memory wipe that, that greeting from existence and replace it with another greeting, what greeting, what greeting would you choose? That's a great question. Mine would be, I would see a person I hadn't seen in a while and say, don't think, just tell me, what was your best nut in the past 72 hours? Huh. Don't think.

Cashew. Yeah. So some people say Cashew. Some people say like standing up in the shower. You know, it's like you get exhausting. And for what? And for what?

Easy cleanup. I think I look at someone. I think I prefer instead of like, how are you or whatever that is, I think just saying smobby. Smobby. Smobby. You guys, we have a new word here at Hayredo Reddle that we started on a live stream. And it's smobby. and the cool thing about smobby is it means all sorts of things.

It can kind of mean whatever you want it to be. And I do feel like 2026 is the year of the smobby. The year of the smobby, yeah. I'm not mistaken. It would be like a greeting of like anything to hope for. Anything to hope. Any good news? Like just wanting to hear anything positive, like knowing that it's mostly bad news.

Yeah. Yeah. What about a, who do you think's coming to save us? Who do you think is coming to save us? Or even just a, this sucks, right? I feel like if we just agreed in each other with this sucks, right? Yeah. It would be more positive because I could say, yes, in an enthused way versus how's it going? And if they're really curious, it's like, oh, my great.

Yeah. What about us a greeting back to bed, huh? Where both people give each other permission to just go back to bed for the day. All right, back to bed. We're all leaving our houses less and less, right? Well, hey, everyone, welcome to Hey, Renal. I'm JPC. I'm Adorfeck.

And I'm Smobby. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm going back to bed. We should do. What did John and Yoko do? They did like a 24-hour sleep-in or something. Didn't they? Right?

Didn't they have like a baby? Okay, I love that. This sounds so familiar, I don't know enough about the Beatles' lore. Yeah. They did a cover of Rolling Stones magazine where he was naked and she was wearing a turtleneck and was clinging to him. Oh, yeah. She's sort of like grabbing onto him like a tick or something. They did some sort of thing where they were in bed, like a photo shoot or something when they were in bed.

I think that's what you're talking about? They did some sort of like, I don't know if it, what's the hotel that overlooks Central Park? The Plaza? Central Perk. Maybe Central Perk. Thank you. And Gunther was there. I do feel like they did like a 20.

24 hour, we're staying in bed to protest war or something. Oh. Hey, well, guess what guys? Didn't fucking work. I didn't know how much I was protesting war. Good for me. I protest war 14 hours a day. I'm not depressed.

1130. I'm pretty late to protest war. I guess I'm not brushing my teeth today to protest. I want to say war. Man, they had it right in the 60s. They do how to do it in the 60s. Oh, yeah. I've never been to Central.

Park. I need to remedy that. Yeah. Wait. Quite lovely. In Manhattan? Isn't Central Park like most of Manhattan? Central Park is like huge, right? Yeah. It's pretty massive. But you've never been there? Never been. I've been on the periphery, like I've been to restaurants and stuff around it. But I've never stepped a single foot inside of it. How many years until you think billionaires decide to put a bunch of horrible condos in Central Park?

I think it'll be a golf course I think they'll just make it like a private golf course That would be so fun to get an 18 holes in the middle of Manhattan Oh please Private golf course is of course All right I think riddles puzzles anything to hope for Who's going to save us?

Who do we think? Could we think? Which superhero? Speaking of who's coming to save us Which superheroes most likely to be real? Hmm They could save us that's a really great question

I mean Batman because he doesn't really have any powers he's just a bunch of like tech okay so there is a billionaire coming to save us is that what I meant to say most likely to be real I think maybe probably the Punisher right because he's not a superhero he's just like an angry guy with guns but coming to save us

that's the part I don't think I really don't think that the Punisher is really interested in saving us he's interested in murdering us he's interested in like murdering like corrupt cops or whatever. Like he's not he's not really like a fixed stuff type of guy. More of a break, break what's already broken type of thing.

Step on the broken glass. Annie Lennox had it right. Maybe Superman. Walking on, walking on, bro. I think that the odds are better that it's like an alien lands on Earth

and is interested in like making it better versus like someone from Earth's kind of stepping up to the play. I feel like I'm putting my odds on. It was going to happen. It would have already happened, right? Sure. Yeah.

Well, back to bed. No, no, guys, keep up. Keep fighting the good fight. Pick up your swords. Come on. Come on. Yeah, yeah. Come on.

Dragging my sword, you know, tip into the ground into battle. Guys, come on. No, well, hey, we are going to stay strong. We're going to persevere. And part of what that is for us is doing, I'm looking at my notes,

fucking riddles, I guess. Yeah. All right. If we're going to solve a problem, it starts with solving smaller problems. Like Maria. First things first. How do you solve a problem like her, huh?

Sound of music. Yeah. Well, honestly, though, the good news is the riddles that we're going to be doing today came to us from 2019 when the world was a mildly better place. And so we'll, you know, still pretty bad. So, well, basically, we get to do some little escapism and time travel. For instance, this one came from Stephen submitted in, hey, February of 2019.

So six years ago. That's pretty cool. Nope, that's not right. That's seven years ago, right? Because it's 2026 and that's 2019. Yes. How do we think that works, huh? Seven years?

It's 828 in the morning. You cannot make me do this. Stephen Ranteke, guys love the podcast. I've written a riddle for you. Please grade it. I think you'll either get it immediately or stumped forever. Was grading riddle something we were doing in 2019 is a new one to remember? That doesn't sound like us.

No. But we could make an exception. Stephen asked for us to grade it. So we... All right. If we are going to make an exception, now seems like the time. Okay. Kevin is out shopping.

He approaches Susie, who grabs a knife. gives Kevin a cut and asks for his money. But Kevin runs away. Later, Kevin is arrested. And the question is, why was Kevin arrested? Can you read it again? I can absolutely read it again, Aaron, and I would love nothing more. Kevin is out shopping.

He purchased Susie, who grabs a knife. He gives Kevin a cut and asks for his money, but Kevin runs away. Later, Kevin is arrested. He dined and dashed a tattoo. He dined and dashed a tattoo. He dined and dashed a tattoo. Maybe I give up today. Dined and dashed a tattoo.

I love that you're just like rolling it over in your mouth. It's like a wine that you're trying to find the notes of. Aaron, it's a pairing I've never had before. I don't hate it. I don't think there's a better way to say it. I love using dined and dashed to apply to things that aren't food. That's just good. When I lived in Australia and my friend Connie got glassed, we went to the...

Got what? Glassed. Apparently it's a thing in Australia where glass will explode and people will get glass in them. It happens enough in that God for sake of continent that we... Get glass in them? Did she just say in them? Glass just explodes?

I was just as shocked as you are. That's a term that they used, that glass just explodes. I went over to a party. They'd already been drinking for a while. They were celebrating passing a test because they're all like medical students. and I was talking to Connie. We were up against a refrigerator and a guy tried to open a champagne bottle with a knife,

which is hard to do if you've never done that before. And he did that in the champagne bottle exploded. And Connie got a huge piece of glass in her cheek right under her eye. And I got some little glass in my legs. And then I took her to the emergency room and she got stitches. And all she had to do was show her ID when she went in.

and then we just walked out of the hospital when she was done. And I was like, do you have to pay a bill? Do we have to fill out paperwork? And she was like, no, it was just free. It's included in our taxes. And I was like, you're dining and dashing health care. I literally felt like an adrenaline rush. Like, we're stealing.

And she was like, no, this is a really civilized place where we're all getting like humans. I was like, what? Aaron, I don't want to quibble. Quibby. Smobby. Smobby. I don't want to smobby about this, but you said glass just explodes.

And then you told the story of it made hitting a champagne bottle with a knife and then it exploding, which to me is not glass just explodes. Well, when she went to the hospital, the person was like, have you ever been glass before? And she went, actually, yes. And she has these scars on her chest from being at a bar where a thing, like a glass cup or something explodes. What a wild thing to say. Have you ever been glassed before? So not only are all the creatures in Australia trying to kill you, glass just explodes. Yeah, glass has a mind of its own down there.

And maybe you live in Australia and are like, what the fuck are you talking about? and it was just these weird rural places of Western Australia that we're dealing with being glassed. But either way. I only know the term glassed, which I believe is like military slang, but also it may be like Star Wars space military slang when you like bombard something or bomb it so much

that you've completely like destroyed the surface and then you say that you've like glassed it. Like I think there was an episode of the Mandalorian where they go back to his home planet and they say that it's completely glassed because it was destroyed by like orbital bombardment. So that's how I know the word glassed. But I'm not familiar with the Australian usage of the term.

I'm going to say F. Oh my God, are we in the middle of a riddle? Did we finish it? No. You are like, dined and dashed is like not wrong, but it's not during a tattoo appointment. But it's like so close. It's like you're.

Dentist. You're intentionally there. He's out shopping. He approaches Susie, who grabs a knife, gives him a cut, and asks for his money, but Kevin runs away. Later, Kevin is arrested, not Susie. Barber, like a... A knife. No, this is a person who would, like, legit use a knife.

And I guess, like, barber, you're thinking, what, like straight razor? Yeah. Or haircut, I guess, but no, it's... Susie? You didn't give a haircut with a knife. Ear piercing. Cut them. Stitches.

No, not your piercing. Not surgery. How do people pull a knife on you for good? He is out shopping. That, that I think is really, really helpful. It's not like he's going, you wouldn't say like, I'm going shopping and get a haircut. He's like legit shopping. Is she selling knives?

Yeah. No, she does not sell knives. She's not selling knives. That's a great guess. It's not a tag. Oh, hold on, hold on. Hey, Stephen gave us hints. Do you want some hints?

Oh, yes, please. All right. Did Kevin actually commit any crimes? Yes. And if you can land on the crime that he committed, I'll give that to you so that might help you. Was Susie the one pressing charges? Yes.

Was Kevin's crime in the story? Yes. It's him leaving, is the crime. Exactly, Aaron. When he runs away, that's him committing. She's giving him like a service. Yeah, not, yes, I guess, a little bit. Like goods and service, you know, something in that category.

So she took out a knife and cut. cut him. No. No. She took a knife and she gives Kevin a cut. It does not say that she cut him. A cut of what? Cut of the profits. A cut of... I love this. A cut of drugs. Cut of the profits. No. It's a... It's a cheese. Aaron. Oh, it could be. It's a butcher. Yes. It's a butcher. So why was Kevin arrested? Because he stole. Yeah. She gives Kevin a cut. Asked for his money, but Kevin runs away. So he stole the cut of meat. She cut. So meat. She was a butcher. He ran away instead of paying for it and she dropped a dime on him and she narked on him. So who's really the hero of that story, huh? Great. I'd like to see a scene. Is it the Jean Valjean who was just trying to steal some meat for his family?

JPC, you are a butcher who recently got Adel in trouble for stealing from your shop. Adel, you're back in to try to be a paying customer, but it's a little awkward since the last time he saw him. He was getting you in trouble. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, man. Yeah, hey. Hey. I'm a, look, I just want to say I'm sorry about, yeah, the way that it all went down.

I just didn't need to go that way. Yeah. Nope, no. I'm going to do a thing, though, from now on for you, Ned, where I just asked you to pay up front, basically. So we don't have to get into something. Up front of the store or? I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

No, before, yeah, before obviously I sell you any meat. I'm going to have to see the money up front. 14 years. I'm sorry? 14 years for two rib-eyes, huh? Kind of wild. Wait, that's what you got. You got 14 years?

14 years. But I only surf 12, so. Huh. God, why did I think? The justice system works. The justice works. I, wow. So I'm celebrating seeing my kids again.

so let's see what I want. You're adult kids. When you say kids, a lot of people think like, mommy, dad, you know, but it's like, they're adults now. Oh, yeah, I should say I'm going to go see my adults. What are we doing? Children maybe. The fuck are we doing.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. Hey, sorry, man. I just realized that I got all the way downtown before. I didn't pay for my fillet. I just walked out without pay. I'm so sorry. No, worries.

I recorded it down. You can just pay at the end of the month if you need to. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. Hey, I really appreciate that. I have a good one. Have a good one. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck? Oh, yeah, we changed the policy.

What was it? It was like 12 years ago, maybe? Or 11? Maybe 11 years ago. We changed the policy. So now it's just like, it's so much easier to keep a tab for everyone. Yeah, just pay at the end of the month. Kill them all.

I'm going to kill them all. What, did you want, you wanted some? Calbasa. That's what I said. Kilbasa. That's what I said. Yeah. And then obviously, you know,

your grandfathered into the old policy, so it's still up front payment for you. Oh, yeah. You're going to see your kids, huh? That's exciting. My adult kids is what. Yeah, well, now that I know, I could just kind of skip the pleasantry part of it,

and you know what? While you're here, your kids, Jeff and, oh, and his wife, Karen, They have a tab if you want to settle up their tab. It's two rib-eyes. I'd rather, wait, what? They have a tab because they already bought two rib-eyes. Two rib-eyes.

Two rib-ies. What does that sound familiar? That's what I was going to order was two rib-ice. Oh, you know what? That tab has already been paid because now, starting, when was it, 11, 12 years ago, we now do a promotion where every repeat customer just gets a free two rib-bys every month. So we actually don't even charge for two rib-eyes anymore. If you're just getting two rebis. I can't do this.

We get two more rib-bys, of course, we would charge for that. But it's a free two rib-yes. Of course, your grandfathered out of that policy, the old policy. I should go to a different butcher. I should go to a different, you know what? No. You're going to walk out of here? You're going to walk out of the butcher store right now?

No, no, I need the stakes. I need the stakes. Do you have kids? I have adult children. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I had kids 12 years ago. Yeah.

12 years ago. Huh. Okay. And that's 3 p.m. That's door closing time. Hey, you know what? You know what I'm going to do? Just because we're old friends, just because we go back, I'm going to kick you out of the store.

Okay. You got to go right now. All right. Well, I'm going to go walk into the ocean. Nothing makes sense that he wants. It's all bad. Well, hey, best of luck to you. All right, fuck you.

I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. Excuse me, sir. You walk it into the ocean? Yep. Okay, that'll be 1850. Seed. Yeah, it's done.

It's done. That's all done. Oh, man, nothing like going to prison for 12 years. I'd get that riddle a B-minus. Aaron, you got to rank it. I'm thinking. I'm going to give it a C plus. I'm going to give it a C for Clever, which is, of course, an A.

We have another one from Dave. Dave writes this riddle back in the year of our Lord 2019, also in February. And as we've proved, just six, nay, seven short years ago. every time Agatha rides the train, the conductor sees her and smiles, even though, invariably, she's breaking one of three laws. She's not breaking the law.

Oh, I'm sorry, when she's not breaking the law, she smiles back. The conductor never calls the police and does not know Agatha outside of the train. The question is, what happened? Oh. So every time that Agatha rides the train, the conductor sees her and smiles,

even though invariably she's breaking one of three laws. when she's not breaking the law, she smiles back. The conductor never calls the police and does not know Agatha outside of the train. Agatha is a cat. Agatha's a cat. Erin, you're on the right track, but Agatha is not a cat. Agatha is a bird. Aaron, you're getting colder, a little colder.

Agatha is a dog. Agatha. These are all lateral moves of not the right answer. Agatha is a kid. Agatha is a baby. Agatha's a baby And the law is public breastfeeding Okay, so

There's three laws One of them is not public Public breastfeeding But they can be kind of Well no, I'm not even going to say kind It's going to confuse you Do you guys want to guess what the three laws The baby is breaking on the train?

They're like train-specific ordinances, I would say. Okay. Not paying. Things you're not supposed to do on a train. Well, I know this from having a kid. Kids eat for free at Shonies and they ride for free on the train. No pooping on the train. Defecating.

No. Nudity. Ordinance 3 is no relieving oneself on the train. Aaron nudity probably would work, but let's assume that the baby is clothed for the duration of the train ride. So yeah, no relieving yourself on train. Owl got one of them. You can't be carried by another. human.

That's allowed. That is a lot of traits. As soon as you get these, I have a seat. Oh, no screaming? They're crying? No, no screaming? No, you can scream on the train. It's not encouraged socially, but you're allowed to do it if you need to. What laws do babies break?

You said breastfeeding, and it's not necessarily breastfeeding, but it is like... Indecent exposure? No. No, think of more of what law the baby would be breaking, not. the law that the mother is breaking. I don't even know. I don't know if this one is one. This is one that I just wouldn't do on a train

unless I absolutely had to, but maybe it's a rule. Staring at other people? No. I was going to say for the breastfeeding one, it's eating, no eating on trains. I guess that makes sense for like cleanliness. But it's like the same reason why

I don't need the thing that says no eating in the bathroom. I'm like, I'm not going to eat here. You know? So no eating, no. No relieving yourself. And then the last one, this feels like an anti, like, anti-unhoused person. No sleeping? No sleeping.

No sleeping on the train. Of course, babies love sleeping. All right. I want to see a quick scene. Adel, you are a train. I want to see train inspector, but that's not a real thing. But you're the person who enforces like a rule on a train. Again, these are not real.

The trains are lawless. But you're a train rule enforcer. And Aaron is breaking some, like, really unknown train rules, and you're just, like, gently letting her know that she's breaking those rules. Ahoy, hoi. Oh, I've got my ticket right here, if you want to scan it. Okay. And a big beep.

And okay. Just a heads up. Is this your first time on the Rocky Mountain Express? Yes, it is. I'm going to see family. Oh, very good. For the holiday or just a vacation? Just a classic visit. It's actually been like 10 years since I came home. It's a whole thing.

Ah. Well, just so you know, you were looking out the window and giving a tight-lipped smile, and that is against the law. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, it's like one of those things where I'm like, should I be going home? Should I have reached back out to my family after everything that went, like, happened? So I'm just like sort of staring up the window thinking about like the choices that I've made and everything that's led me to this moment. Okay, you broke a few more laws there, a few more train laws. You can't say it's funny without laughing because that's disrespectful. And there was something else, but I forget it.

We'll let that other one go. So you've broke a two laws. You just broke another law. You're writing me little tickets. You can't ask someone who's standing in front of you and clearly corporeal if they're real. You're writing things down on post-it notes

and putting them on my forehead one by one. What is this? Talking too much, being too fun. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Smells like dirt and cheese. Okay, hey, hey, sir,

I just wanted to be on this train ride in peace. I will not do anything else against the law. I will sit. I will be normal. I will close my head. This is where you pay your tickets? Yes. Okay, sorry.

Yeah, I was the guy that said if the shoe fits. Here is a check for $12. Thank you so much. And you, let me undo those handcuffs. Thank you so much. Hard to write a check with your handcuffs. You are free to go. I didn't realize this train was so.

That somebody rules. You're trying to nickel and dime us. You put it in ellipsies in the middle of a sentence. I didn't know this train was so dot, dot, dot, dot. That's another law. Ugh. You just, U-G-H-H-H-H personified? That's another, you broke another law.

Well, you just said it, didn't you? Calling me out for being hypocritical, broke another law. Really? Really? All right, sir, I'm going to fight you. This is why I haven't seen my parents in a long time. It's because I fought my parents ten Christmases ago. It turned it out to a full-blown brawl. You think I'm not.

You think I can't do it? Put him up. Put him up. Come on. Hey. If you want to engage in some pugilism. Oh, that's a good right cross. Yeah. Oh, Gino kick to the stomach. And whoo. Oh, flippy over the back. Yeah.

Bop me, baby, bupubbubbubbubbib. Yeah. What was that? Seek. Weepo bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. What was that? She's spinning him like a basketball on her finger. Yeah, so the answer there, because I don't think I spelled it out exactly, but as a baby, the conductor always smiles at her and ignores the letter of the law, understanding the spirit is to apply, is not to apply to babies. Agatha doesn't smile back because she's sleeping or she has a bottle at her mouth when feeding or is straining to relieve herself with their eyes closed.

Yuck. The face that babies make when they poop is so funny. That is a priceless face. Yeah. Because it's probably a face that everybody makes, but we learn to like mask it. We learn not to show other people our poop face. Do we feel like there's a lot of babies being named Agatha recently?

Oh, yeah. Because old names are in and like people love Catherine Hahn. So it's like for sure. Down, down, down the road. Iris, Agatha. What else? Great names. Eunice.

Cute. I'm in. I think they should have cast Catherine Hahn to play on Han solo. That would have been fun. And Smobby. Aaron and Smobby.

Well, hey, look, that was fun and we appreciate everyone who wrote Riddell seven years ago, but now it is time for a little break or something that we like to call a smobby. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I've done it. I've built it.

I built it. Time machine. Really excited. Oh, you built a tie machine. Yeah. So now we can, you know, go back and, you know, invest in meat. Okay, exciting. Okay, let's pool all our money.

Okay, so we have $35 to invest in meat. Okay. We're going to easily turn this into 70 bucks. Adel, this is a great invention. Thank you. We might need to spread the word. I think for that we'll need to build a website, which should be very simple. Using Squarespace. You guys know Sparespace? Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform

designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or scaling your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Well, this could be really big for us because if we can turn this $35 into, say, $70, suddenly this meat investment, we're looking at about $140 bucks. And we should upload a video of you using your time machine so people believe us. And Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials,

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I've done it. Guys, I've done it. I've built a time machine. Wait a minute You just said that at the beginning of the thing So that means the time machine worked Oh sorry I was just repeating myself Oh

Oh Hey JPC hey Aaron What's up now what's up I was looking up at the night sky And seeing all these things shooting across the night sky And I was wondering What all is out there in the night sky Well stars

We're at war with the Palladians What? UFOs Wait the Palladians Are those some sort of aliens? And rockets, which reminds me this weekend, you guys, I realized that I had been spending so much money on a subscription that I forgot to cancel. I did the whole free trial thing.

And then I forgot to cancel it. I was paying for it a couple months. But Rocket Money reminded me. Yeah. Oh, please tell me that you're using Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your own one of the subscriptions, monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Oh, big time, big time. And growing your savings is more important now than ever, what was the upcoming war with the Palladians on our doorstep.

Mm-hmm. Now, Palladians are pallid and aliens, of course, and they come here wanting our, I want to say, oxygen. But with rocket money, you can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Because you're going to want to save as much money as possible. so you and your family can start to buy spaceship parts. Plus, the app consolidates your checking, you're saving your loans and investments into a single dashboard

to give users a clear view of their financial picture. So when you're spending money from the secret checking account that your wife doesn't know that you have to fight the Palladians, baby is for you, it's all for you, is for the family. You can see that from your rocket board dashboard dashboard without getting overwhelmed that your wife is going to find out about your secret Palladian bank account that you're using to fight these guys. And if you're saving up to fight the good fight, you can do automated savings that grow towards your goals.

You can adjust the amount and the frequency, set it and forget it approach. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com slash riddle. That's RocketMoney.com slash riddle. RocketMoney.com slash riddle, R-I-D-L-E. They look just like us. You say joyfully. They look just like us.

I want to say oxygen. Aaron, JPC, good morning to you. Good morning to you, Adle my dear. You know how I used to give my money to the squirrel in my backyard to tuck away for a winter's night? Yeah, I do. Well, that squirrel ate all my money, so I've decided to use something a little more clever found. Oh, thank goodness. Oh my gosh, it was so stressful when you're giving all your money that squirrel.

This is so much better. Yeah, because that squirrel. that squirrel eats money and found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all, banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions in dealing with clunky outdated apps. No more trusting the squirrel who's a wild animal who lives in a tray who likes to eat money. Yes, and it makes it easy to regain control of your business finances. So you can get back to doing what you love, getting revenge on that squirrel. And unlike the squirrel, Found has automated things like tracking expenses, fighting write-offs, and budgeting for taxes.

time. That squirrel last year cost me so much money during tax time. Yeah, I know that's a headache time a year, the tax time. Just go to one place that it's going to have it completely under control where all of your stuff is in one safe space. And as a small business owner, aka a tyrant, I love found because it allows me to put all of those administrative tasks in one platform. I can get in, I can get out, saves me time, helps me streamline things. It's a, it's a, it's a really great platform if you are running a business. But don't take it from them. Take it from me.

This is nuts. No. Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fow-u-undd.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by a lead bank. Member FDIC.

Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with found. Aaron, that is not a squirrel. That is Richard kind of a squirrel custom. He is eating Eddles money. I used to live with George Clooney. Guys, I bet you've noticed that I'm super confident now. It's all kind of turned around for me. I keep getting compliments on my cashmere oversized V-neck sweater.

Whoa, Erin, yeah. Did you get taller? No, I'm just wearing my favorite brown Mongolian cashmere oversized V-neck sweater. I got from Quince. Did you shrink? No, no, no. What the heck? I bet you thought this cost an arm in her leg.

It did not. It did not. Oh, you got turned inside out. No, I'm wearing a really cute sweater from Quince. Oh, we can see your bones. Huh. That's a different thing. We'll talk about that after.

Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. The list goes on. Yeah, and plus doesn't Quince only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production? I think I remember knowing that about Quince. Yeah, just quality clothing. I also have a raincoat from them that is so good.

It's the type of piece that you're going to keep for years and years and years. I got a cable net sweater from Quince, and I kid you not, it is the only thing that I have ever followed the directions on to hand wash. Everything else that I own, I'm like, it says hand wash. but I'm not hand-washing this. This is, it's so nice that I'm like, I must hand-washed this. This is a nice sweater. What I've discovered is since buying items from Quince, I just collect a few very nice items,

and it's about quality over quantity. I used to have like 40 different types of jackets, and I just have two nice ones from Quince, and they pair well with everything. Okay, so here's the deal. I also love their home stuff. Their home stuff is amazing. If you don't want to get your bones turned absolutely inside outlook,

was I assume is what happens to Aaron. We'll talk about that later. I think that's just my body. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too, A. That's quince.com slash riddle. Free shipping on 365 day returns.

Quince.com slash riddle. This one's on me, guys. I did break my arm and didn't notice. No problem at all. But you look good doing it. I know. And we're back. How was everybody smile?

Pretty good. How's yours? What's a smobby with you? I took a brief smobby. Did you wash your hands? Oh, no. I'll be right back. I sing happy smobby two times while I wash my hands, and that's how I know that I've washed for long enough. And do you use soap and smobby, or do you... I actually use, this is kind of strange, I use herbal smobby, and I do that thing where I start lathering it up and suddenly the deep voice

starts singing. Do you guys remember herbal? What are you talking about? Herbal essence commercials? Oh. Oh, yes. She got the herbal in the shower for another half an hour.

I blocked that out. Eric, did you never have the urge to herbal? I think I miss I don't remember this ad campaign as well as you guys too. Is herbal lessons still around? Yeah, I think so. And it is, sure. I think I used it recently at a gym shower.

I don't think that they have as robust of an advertising presence as they used to have. I feel like a lot of, like, remember, was it Lipton Ice Tea? Was it, that's brisk baby? And they had all those, like, claymation commercials, like Rocky Babo and stuff. I feel like companies used to really go nuts with fun commercials. I think, do you think it's just because everybody, knows about it now? Or do you think that like Panting ProVee has like enough customers?

They're like, we got the ones we need. We don't want it anymore. We're shutting the door on Pantin ProVee. No one's ever going to just buy it on a whim. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. Is there, what is it?

Is it like there's a certain type of root beer. Roop beer doesn't advertise. That's like, that's because of their like old-timey beliefs. Roop bear doesn't advertise. Isn't that true? Didn't we learn that on this show? I think so. Well, I know like it used to, right?

I remember like A&W commercials and mug root beer commercials. I guess I remember Barks has bite. Barks has bite. Yeah. Oh, maybe I'm wrong. Hey, Eric, you could be completely right. It could be something that is true. I'm often wrong, so.

It's not true for a while. Hey, why don't we put that off and wrong to the test and give you another riddle, huh? Okay. All right. All right. Oh, man, you guys are so pliable. I could do anything, you guys. You guys are just like weebles.

We wobble. We smobby. You don't fall down. All right, we smobby. This one's from Lila and Daisy, also from February of 2019. A man mailed a head. When the person received it, he was not surprised or scared. Why?

Lettuce. Head of lettuce. Okay. There's three possible answers that they include. and lettuce isn't one of them, but cabbage is, so I will give you that one. Okay. Can you give two other answers to why a person mailed a head and the person received it was not surprised or scared? Manikin?

I would be actually kind of scared if someone mailed me a mannequin head. I do want to see a scene. That's good. Please. Perfect. I wonder if this is going to be. The two of you are a couple, and you just received a package at the door that you had to sign for, and inside was a mannequin head.

I got it. Oh, yeah. Okay, great. Doug said he was going to be sending over a Christmas card. Or did he say card? I think he just said sending over a Christmas. It might be one of those, like, fruit boxes that has, like, seasonal fruit in it. God, Doug is so thoughtful.

He gives the best gifts. Yeah. He is such a thoughtful guy. I'm really glad that you guys made up. Oh, me too. I mean, again, he's thoughtful, but he's intense. And it's just like, it was so stupid the fight that it's like it wasn't worth staying mad at him, you know? Right.

I mean, you're trying to help him, but I guess he was kind of embarrassed that you called him intense in front of that whole dinner party. Yeah, no. I mean, it was truly I was out of line and I apologized, you know, because it was like he, it just, again, stupid miscommunication. I'm glad it's water under the bridge. Yeah, and I'm on your side. I think that you did a great job repairing that relationship, and I'm really proud of you. Thank you. You want to open it?

Uh, why don't you open it? it. Okay. All right. Takes three big steps back. What are you doing? I am going to the kitchen to get you, didn't you say you wanted a seltzer or? No.

No? Okay. Well, I guess I was just kind of anticipating that you might want to, I just haven't seen you drinking much this morning, takes another big step back. Why are you backing up from the package? Do you think that there might be something in? No, not really yet even at all. You know what?

All this talk about me making up with Doug, I am now remembering I have not done that yet. You say that you made up with Doug? Yes, I said yes, because I intend to in a way that it feels. I think you have to get better at repairing your friendships. You keep alienating our friends and you said, yeah, I'm going to call Doug and make up. Call Doug and yeah. And it's like I did the whole conversation in my head so many times that it even feels like I've already done it. So.

What's in the box? Why don't we take that box and throw it in the trash? What's in the box? What's in the box? It's not important, and it's not, and I take a big step back. Stop stepping towards me. And it's not even important what's in the box because it reminded me I got to call Doug.

So let's leave that outside. Maybe this isn't an olive branch. Maybe this is an olive branch. Maybe. Have you ever seen those videos where there's a suspicious package and they shut down the whole block and they call those guys with like the big... Hazmat suits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's a funny idea. Why don't we throw that as far out into the street as we possibly can call those guys? I don't know how to call those guys. Oh, I've got their number. I have disagreements with my friends all the time and it doesn't lead to this. What is going on with you? With me or with Doug?

With you. I'm trying to be on your side here, but you got to meet me halfway. Yeah. Okay. Meet you halfway. Why don't I walk halfway out of the apartment? I'm just going to open it. I think we're over and underestimating him all at once.

We're overthinking it. Okay, great. All right, here I go, and I'm opening it. And there's a huge explosion unrelated. See it? Perfect. Someone in the neighboring apartment at a gas leak. Huge explosion unrelated.

It was one of those boxes of seasonal fruit to make up for their bite. Oh my God, that's, that is something, a move that I would see like in a narrative, like a movie or something where huge unrelated explosion happens after all that. And I'd be like, they're going to win best director. This is one of the smartest choices I think I've ever seen in the history of movie making. Do you guys ever see the movie Mannequin with Kim Cottrell? Yeah. Yeah. Control?

They do. Smobby. From what I, and I haven't seen it in like 30 years. Smobby. I haven't seen it like 30 years. But I feel like they do the scene from Toy Story 3 where there's a moment where she is back to being a mannequin and she's on like a conveyor belt heading towards like a like a buzzsaw or something. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And he has to run down and save her. Really upsetting. I guess that is the move from Toy Story 3. My friend Damon loves that movie. Who does? Damon, Royster. Oh, yeah. And he loves it.

I would say if someone, if I'm like a, if I work for a Paramount. and a desk comes across my script. If a script comes across my desk that's Manikin, I think I'm investigating this person. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm going to go, let's go check out their house. We're just going to go and see and make sure. Let me call on a tip.

I think, as with every horror movie that I've ever seen in my life, I've been like, once was enough for me to see this. Not even that I think, like, Manikin is like especially like horror-y, but it's never one that I, I saw it decades ago, and I've never revisited it. Yeah.

The best part is the guy from designing women is in it. I think also, and this is just my guess, I think there's probably some problematic stuff that doesn't age well. Oh, really? No. In an old movie? Having sexual relations with the American that comes to life? Something along those lines. There were two other answers.

The head of lettuce-slash-cabbage is the best one. Okay. the other reasons why a person would not be surprised or scared to receive a head in the mail Is it food? No, they're not food related. These are kind of stretches. The second one is he sent it to a morgue. Now, I guess I get that one if it's like...

Oh, no, that sucks. Yeah. That's nothing. That's a real head. That actually is so upsetting. I think you're... Do not send body parts to a morgue. That's not how a morgue.

morgue works. All right. Well, we got this head. What do we do? Mail it? No, I think, Chief, I think you got to drive that over pretty quick. Let's mail it.

The other one is he sent it to himself at a different address. Well, anyway, Lila, let's not go too far. So it's the same guy opening it as who sent it. That's why he's surprised or scared. These are all very upsetting things. Just have it be cabbage.

I think it should have just been cabbage. But either way, thank you for sending them in. Let's do another one. Yikes. That was the craziest thing you've ever brought to us, JPC. JPC kills a lot of dead birds and brings it to us. Look what I got you guys.

And that's got to be one of the craziest one. You guys keep telling me I'm a good boy. So that's kind of reinforcing the behavior. Yeah, Adel, this one's on us. So I came up. home the other day and I saw like white little like specks of white all over my yard and I have a trauma response because of times where cats have dismantled birds in my yard and I've had to clean up like bird feathers where I was like oh no feathers and then I saw that it was just like a

little bit of ice that hadn't melted off the grass and I was like oh thank God like I I didn't know that I had it in me to have immediate reactions to like scattered pieces of white in my yard but it was it was just no I yeah I truly truly um who dodged a bullet on that one uh Here's Robert's Riddle. Twelve men walking by, 12 pairs hanging high. Each took a pair and left 11 hanging there. How is this possible? 12 men walking by, 12 pairs hanging high.

Each took a pair and left 11 hanging there. Oh, it's there are pairs of pairs. So it's P-A-I-R-S of P-E-A-R-S. That is not correct. There's a great way to think about it. It's all P-E-A-R-S. It's all, that's a, I think that's a very helpful clue. Or not helpful clue, but a good direction to guess, but it's not the correct answer here.

I would have given that riddle an A if it had been what Adel just said. Interesting. It's 12 Angry Men. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's the people in the jury and they're leaving 11 people hanging in the courtroom because there's 11 people there for the, for the, for the verdict. These are physical pairs. not metaphorical pairs.

And you, I, Aaron, you said you would have given it an A. I think that you are going to give this riddle, not an A. That's my guess. Twelve, what was it? Twelve men walking by. Twelve men walking by. Twelve pairs hanging high on a pear tree, let's say. Each took a pair and left 11 hanging there.

Oh, an 11, the 11th man is hanging. That's, again. you're thinking like, oh, yeah, these are like the way that you answer these riddles. These are great guesses. But this is one of these ones that when I give you the answer, you're going to say, well, that's actually stupid. And I agree. And how am I supposed to guess that? I'm so smart.

I can't make my brain dumb. I'm just kidding. I'm really dumb. Left 11 hanging. Each took a pair and left 11 hanging there. I will say, at the end of this, there are still just 11 pairs hanging in the tree. I give up. Giving up the same pair.

Mercy. No, only one pair was taken down. Aaron, do you want to just give up? Yeah, give up. This is a good one to give up on. Sure. I think, I think give up on this one. So the answer is that the man's name was each.

Huh? Each took, okay. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. Normally that's like a fine, acceptable answer. Each not really a name. Well, Jack, Eacher. Stacey Eich?

Let's see. Echin Ong. Each and Ong. Ache and Ong. I don't want to do one. Yeah, I know. I don't want to do one. You got one?

No, no, no, I don't have one. I don't want to do it. Okay. Can you think of a celebrity? though with just like with each in their name? No, no, I don't want to. Oh, me? No. No, certainly not. No, thank you. All right. Well, hey, Erin, you don't have to play.

Okay, thank you guys. Thanks. How are you? Well, hey, we need the ball in the jersey. We need the ball in the jersey. Back to bed. All right. Here's your next one. You're your next one. I hate, hey, hey, F. Yeah, F for that one. F, I thought so. I thought, hey, I thought so. Still how to read it.

Still how to read it. Here's your next one from T. T says, the letter T, not the drink. Or, I guess tea's not necessarily a drink. Gossip.

And it's not the gossip. It's just the letter T. Six little grapes hanging on two vines. Three black cherries in a line. Tumbling and rolling and all playing fair. Four round peaches makes a square. See, here's the thing.

is like I couldn't even pay attention to this riddle because every word you said, I was like, could that be someone's name? That's the name is tumbling. His name is cherries. Because now the rules are out the window. Yeah. Anything goes at this point. Anything goes at this point. Okay, here, let me help you guys because I'm going to help you with like a little pallet cleanser. This is going to be a little bit of ginger that I'm applying to your tongue.

Yes, yes, yes. Which, by the way, I understand the purpose of the ginger palate cleanser, but I don't like it. Hmm. Do you use it when you're eating sushi? I do. Ginger can be a little overpowering for my palate sometimes. Yeah. Like it gets stuck. It has kind of the opposite effect to me occasionally.

I'll show my ass here. What do you think? Pretty tight. Pretty good. Oh, you did it bounce. It went in. Right in the hole. Check five.

Too good at aim. Ooh, look, I pay it out. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Well, of course, Aaron. Sorry. Sorry for fucking living. I don't know what you want for me. I guess I'm really sorry. God damn it.

Because he shot a corner in my ass and I paid out. Fine. Fuck. Can we move on, Aaron? Are we still talking? What I was going to say? I was going to ask. It's only the first episode.

We got more episodes to record today. Oh, What I was going to ask is, do you use the palate cleanser, the ginger to use the ginger to use the ginger when you're switching between sushi's? Or, like, why do you use the palette cleanser? I typically use it if I'm eating like a spicy tuna roll. Like if I have spicy it's going to roll and then I switch to like nigeri, I typically use it as just like a, because a roll is going to have like a lot of possible sauces or just a lot going on. And then with nigeri, it's like, oh, you want to taste just the fish. So that's when I use it.

I don't use it after like every piece or if I, if I. Sure. In between different types of fish. I think it's most, I use it exclusively between rolls and nigeri. Got it, got it. Got it. Got it. Hmm. Okay.

I think since I'm a vegetarian, whenever I eat sushi, it's like, it's always vegetarian sushi. I'm genuinely like, there's not like a, I can go from like a sweet potato roll to a avocado roll of it's not like, it's not like a huge issue for me. So maybe that's why I never, I never use the palate cleanser. Okay. But this is, this is, there's not really like a, it's not going to be the same type of like bad trick. I actually like this, Ronald. There is a, it's, it's not like when it's describing these things, it's not describing these things, it's not describing the actual physical things, but it's a manifestation of these. So I'm going to give it to you one more time.

Okay. Six little grapes hanging on two vines. Three black cherries in a line. Tumbling and rolling and all playing fair. Four round peaches makes a square. Now, JPC, were you giving us a hint earlier when your ass paid out? Not a sentence I thought I'd say today. is this describing a jackpot reel?

Oh, you're so smart. Adel? It's not. Okay. Because in jackpot reels, there's always like the cherry and then like the, they'll be an orange or something. You're trying to get them all lined up. These, I will say that these are not actual fruits.

It's more using like descriptions that like resemble a thing than they are like actual fruits. But the tumbling and rolling and all playing fair, that is pretty germane to the answer. It's not far from jackpot reel, but it's just like not, that's not the right kind of thing that you're looking for here. Playing cards? It's not cards. Dice? At all?

The answer is dice. I don't get it. I got it right? Explain, please. So all of these things are manifestations of things that you would see on the face of a dye. Six little grapes hanging on two vines. Oh, that's the three, yeah, three black lines up and down, which is a six. three black cherries in a line is a line, which is the three.

That's how you represent the three on the dice. And then four on peaches makes a square. A four on dice is a square of black dots, basically, if it's white dice. And then they said bonus points, if you knew that grape seeds and the dots on dice are both called pips. I knew the dots on dice were called pips. I did not know that grape seeds are called pips. It's in the New York Times crossword constantly. Yeah.

I feel like that's so Erin, you get bonus points for the crossword thing. And Adel, you get bonus points for the dice. thing. F. bonus points. That was the main answer. Well, no, the nights are called Pips. You know about the Pips.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And I know about Gladys Knight. I was just going to say, whose backup band was the Pips and it was Gladys Knight, I think it's Glass Nite. I was just going to ask the bonus points. So we all got a little bonus points. Wee. Is it true that between the three of us, you think there's one

smart person? No. I don't, I don't think. I think we are. Huh. What is the intelligence of the three of our intelligence combined. And how can I say this without insulting anybody? I can't. Let's see. The three of us combined has the same intelligence of a average dog who's been dead

for less than 12 dogs. I'd agree to that. I'm not insulted by that. Yeah. If it's true, then you can't really be mad. We all wearing lab coats. We all go to shake hands and we all miss. Here in school, you get your test back and it just says, it says grade dead dog. See me after class. Oh, I'm improving. It says see me after class and then there's just a picture of the ocean and someone walking into it. Go see that after class. All right.

Okay, why not? I'll live in Atlantis. Let's do one more riddle, okay? Okay. Let's do one from, hmm, Philippe. Philippe? Philippe in Brazil. I'll say Philippe.

In two wallets, there are two dollars. At the same time, one of them has twice. the money compared to the other. How is that possible? So in two wallets, there's $2, meaning one has zero money, one has $2, which would therefore mean the one that has $2.00 has twice as much money as you know? You can't do twice as much as zero. I guess two is not twice as much as zero.

Yes. In two wallets, there are $2. At the same time, one of them has twice the money compared to the other. How is that possible? This is a mind fuck. This is tough. Is it different types of currency, like a dollar versus like a peso or something? If I'm solving this, Adel, that's exactly where my mind's going to, some sort of like currency conversion, but it's not that.

Let's assume for this that they're the same type of currency. So it's like we're working on the same units here. Can you read it again? In two wallets, there are $2. At the same time, one of them has twice the money compared to the other. How is that possible? Oh, is it like one is like a silver dollar or like a and so like the currency of it like because of like the stock market or something. Three side this.

Where else you can't do. Ow, ow, ow. Ow, my fingers. My fingers. It's, no, it doesn't have anything to do. I don't think you really need to know like what even the type of currency is. I could just say it's like a dollar bill. It's not the currency that is the important part here.

Two wallets have two dollars. It's not the currency of this important. So it's the wallets that are important. Oh, now the game is afoot. It's... There's gold on one of the wallets and the price of gold fluctuate. No, you don't need to know the price of gold. In two wallets, there are $2.

At the same time, one of them has twice the money compared to the other. How is that possible? One is a digital wallet. Oh, that's a... That's okay. Speak on that. There's a fee for taking money out. Okay.

Um, here's the hint that I'll give you guys. And this is, I, I don't really know how to give like a hint to this. I'm going to like give you half the solution. Think about the size of these wallets. That's the important part. Okay. These wallets, I would say, are not the same size. Big wallet, little wallet.

Big wallet, little wallet. Twice as much money. One. I feel dumb. While we think, I just want to see a quick scene. This is going to be like one of these like, like PBS kids shows. And it's about money to be a bit of money. bit and it's the two cartoon hosts are Big Wallet and Little Wallet.

I'll let you guys decide who's Big Wallet and who's Little Wallet. Big Wallet, is it true? Is it true that you should diversify your portfolio? That's right, Little Wallet. Don't put all your money in one place. Big Wallet. Is it true that you sort of amassed a bunch of wealth and then slammed the door behind you, making sure no one younger? than you could ever own property or live the American dream? Yes and no, little wallet. I'd say more I pulled the ladder up behind me than slammed the door shut. Kind of a bad plan, though, because the real estate that you bought is in the middle of the suburbs,

and people my age are not really interested in living in horrible, poorly made McMansions in the middle of nowhere. Who are you going to sell that to when it comes time to sell? That's your entire plan for your senior living is selling that property. Well, not exactly selling. See, I bought up 40 properties, and what I'm doing is turning them into Airbnb's. So you're a landlord. Mm-hmm. And kids, there's nothing wrong with being a landlord.

Mm-hmm. Can we watch, Bluie? See, please. A little three-year-old watching that being like, off. Turn off. Please turn it off Okay Wallets of different sizes

Did we did we get it Do we think we have it? Do we think we're close? I don't even feel like I'm on the track of anything Is it is it to do with like Since you said it doesn't really have to do with the money And it has to do with a size of the wallet Is it like a bill fold versus like

The bill not being folded So it's like the size of the dollar It's twice the size kind of thing It's yeah I mean that could be part of the answer, like, yes, I will say, again, one of these wallets is, like, way bigger than the other wallet. And then I'll read it again. So keep in mind, when you're picturing these wallets, one is huge, one is small.

In two wallets, there are $2. At the same time, one of them has twice the money compared to the other. How is that possible? And then the other thing I'll say is think Inception. Oh, one wallet is inside the other wallet for a second? Aaron. Wow. That's so stupid.

F, F, F, F, F, F, F. F. Wild. Each wallet has one dollar. Hot dogs, let's get out of here. No, no, no, no. We're not like it. First of all, you can just scream hot dogs.

I can and I will, and I just fucking did. Before we scream hot dogs and get out of here, everybody, what we're going to do is we are, and I think isn't hot dog delivery for patrons? Yes. We're going to listen to a little voicemail. Casey, can you play us a theme? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hot dogs.

I'm going to kill you. I'm the group slut. Ew. Holy shit. Can you imagine people in, like, the 1400s in the 400s in the, in like Salzburg listening to that in a concert hall. I'm not kidding. When they are lowering my casket into the ground,

if that's not playing, then someone, something has gone horribly wrong. That was brutal and awesome. Okay, so, that's by far my favorite voicemail we've ever received. Hey, I've got some good news for everybody

and especially good news for our submitter. That was submitted by Jade Seifer, he, they. Jade writes that I'm submitting four voicemail theme submissions in honor of the 2025 out-of-context bracket. So the next, I will say, like probably four episodes of Hey, Rental, we will be featuring Jade's voicemails, and we started off with errands. If you want to get a voicemail theme submitted or featured on the show, just make sure it's 30 seconds or less and send it as a waveform to hr-r-r-podcast.gmail.com. Casey, can we have a voicemail? Hi, guys. I found myself in a weird position this last weekend where I was trying to explain my knowledge of the band Fish to my wife.

And I realized that I only have context of fish based on jokes. And I was wondering if you guys had any cultural phenomenon that you only knew through the lens of comedy. Thanks, guys. Love you. Oh, thank you so much for the voicemail on the question. That's a good question. Yeah. I feel there's a lot I only know through sort of pop culture or

it being in the zeitgeist like I mean the first thing off the top of my head and this is the dumbest one possible and it's not really a cultural phenomenon but like we bought a zoo it's like there's stuff like that where I'm like I just know the bare minimum to like poke fun at it but I've never seen it and I don't really know what it's about or anything like that

that's a great example I feel like there's too much in the subject of movies I feel like I got so much of that from watching like parody movies like watching like watching like airplane or hot shots part do or like scary movie where they would be parrying something but I would not be familiar with the thing that they're parading. So I was just like, oh, this is funny. And then like years later I would be like, oh, that's why that's funny because it's this other thing. But I'm usually, I have huge blind spots for like things from movies that I just haven't seen. Yeah. Fish is a good one though because, yeah, I don't know if I could

name a single fish song. No. I haven't seen the squeakwell And I bring that up a lot That's in my periphery Yeah Also being like Being like oh yeah I love the Simpsons

But I like have only ever seen like Five to 10 years of Simpsons And there's like 40 years of Simpsons Being like yeah it's like Oh yeah I just don't I don't actually have an appreciation for this thing as a whole Aaron you saying squeakle makes me think of Probably a big one for a lot of people

which is there was a time in place where people used to say anytime they would name a fake sequel, they'd say blank, blank electric boogaloo. Yeah. Which is based off the movie Breaking. But I don't think, I don't know anyone in the world who's seen Breaking or Breaking to Electric Bugaloo, but that reference has been used by millions of people. This is such a great like dinner party question. I'm going to be thinking about this for a minute.

I want to go watch Breaking. And I want to see what Aaron. has cooked us all for dinner, now that I am, now that we're here. Uh, it's ahead of couch. Yeah. No. Well, before we get to Aaron trying to end the episode yet again, does you know what I'm trying to end the episode yet again? I'm trying.

They would like to plug. Aaron, anything that you have coming up that you'd like to plug? No. Oh, I can't wait to ask Addle. Adel, what about you? I want to plug Aaron's plugs. Oh, great. And I will use my plugs to kind of combo off of that and just say, listen to, hello from the magic tavern.

Listen to a dungeon or gum shoes. Dragons. Go see quality time out in LA. Thank you. Subscribe to the Patreon. It's fun. We're over there doing Patreon stuff every time with more episodes. Okay, Erin, say the planet. Hot dogs.

Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter, Smobby. Smobby. Starring Aaron Gee. Aaron Chief. Hey, Rytobics. One, two, three, four, Hey, rid,

Go, Rich. Hey, there, chats, and scats, if you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another chich-ch-ch-ch-ch-chatterbox. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.

com by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus, you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.