Hey Riddle Riddle - #397: All Oogie All The Time

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

This week we elect our understudies so we can always be prepared. Oh, and there are also riddles there. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Adel, Aaron, I know that the two of you have been so mad that they are not putting comedy movies in theaters anymore. Well, do I have a shocking declaration for the two of you? Shock me. Okay, shock you. Let me rub my socks on the carpet. I just saw Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie, and it is fucking excellent. Humana what?

Huh? Who? Blahler. Okay, this movie is so funny. It's the first, like, mockumentary-style film that I've seen in a while that is, that was making me laugh out loud. Plus, it's, I will not get into it,

but when the twists come in this movie, your jaw will hit the floor in a good way. In a way that makes you say, I have to clean up my jaw now, but I do like that it touched the ground. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is this the movie that Variety called It's Insane that it exists? Yes.

And fandom said, Gives no fucks a movie you absolutely must see to believe? Yes, you have to see this. A comedic miracle, says Sunshine State Complex. A comedic miracle, JPC? Yes, so the plot of the movie is they have a plan to book a show at the Rivoli, but something goes horribly wrong, and then Matt and Jay accidentally traveled back to the year 2008, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You have to watch this movie. It is only in theaters starting February 13th, Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie. It is so fucking good. I'm there. I'm there. Again, run, do not walk to the theaters. February 13th to seat Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie. You do not have to be familiar with the show.

Just go see Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie. You'll get it. It's fucking great. Guys, we got a letter from the Riddle Podcast Union. Hold on. It says urgent. Um, do you want to make concern. That's us.

Sometimes those letters, Aaron, that you get in the mail that say urgent are just like, scams. They're like urgent, open immediately. It's like window washing. No, but they're really exciting opportunities for credit cards that only have like 50% interest. Now, those are good. Tell me, those should be in my pile. No, you can't say, ow, my credit cards. Ow, my pile! Okay, let's see. To whom I make a concern. It's come to our attention that the three of you do not have understudies. Per union rules, the three of you each need an understudy in the event where you cannot show.

up to the podcast. Adel, did you know we were supposed to have understudies? Yeah, I got... Oh, sorry, I thought you were in the other room. Oh. Oh, I was yelling like you were far. You're right here. Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi. Um, what were we talking about? Piles? Oh, understudies. Did you know we were supposed to have under studies? Yes. I got a email, um, the day before we recorded our first episode. Oh, like eight years ago? About eight years ago, it was about concerning labor union laws. And it said, since we're all technically kids, we cannot work more than two hours at a time.

So I said, we're all triplets. So if anyone asks. Okay. I love that we're cutting corners. I'm not sure which corner we cut and how. I, Aaron, did not elect to have an understudy because, Why would I want to fuck someone who looks like me? Huh?

Understudy, right? Someone who studies under us? Should I just burn this, or do we want to respond? Casey, would you like to be my understudy? I'm just going to fill out this paperwork really quick. I'm just going to say in the event in which Aaron is too tired or too lazy to show hereby which in regard to Casey Tony will take over all of her up

Is there an understudy night You know like the one night where people come in And they're disappointed because everybody's Played by understudy Casey if you're Aaron's understudy you're going to have plenty of opportunities You don't have to be one where his family can like fly in for it I think we have some previous live streams that are An indicator that you're gonna get in there Casey

You're gonna have some spots I don't know what you're referring to. Are we going to get into trouble here because I thought we were working under the whole understudy chain thing where like I was your understudy, you were mine and and Edel was yours. Yeah, it says that that's not allowed because we are not good at pretending to be each other. I'm a little offended by that. I'm a little offended by that. Oh my God, there's two of me. Oh my God, which one do I kiss?

little offended by that too. Hey, I'm Aaron Cave. Oh, that does sound like me. Hey, Aaron. Hey, I'm bad to reply. Aaron, can you do Holly Hunter? Um. Oh, great voice.

She has, she has like a, it's like a little lish. Lish, yeah. It's like a, I'm Holly Hunter. I don't think so. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Hi, Mr. Incredible. Can you say like, hey, Mr. Incredible, I need you, I need you to,

stretch me. Well, hold on, hold on. Hold on. I need you to stretch me. I realize that was intentionally. I want to put Holly Hunter down as my understudy. Mrs. Incredible doesn't need anyone to stretch her at all. She can stretch herself. Yes, that's right. That's right. I do. My voice occasionally has been compared to Starly Klein who plays Violet and Incredibles.

Is that the same person who does the podcast? Yes. Are you serious? The mystery podcast. She's a frequent contributor to This American. in life. What the fuck? She's a very aspirational career, I'm a big fan. I remember listening to a podcast about her and she found like a, like a rodeo belt or something. Mystery show.

Is that her podcast? Mystery show is so good. Yeah. Very, very good. Um, Adel, who do you want me to put down as your understudy? Who? Okay. Plad lazy boy?

Recliner. Hmm? Oh, no. I'm talking about the chair. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Let's do that. All right.

A comfy inviting chair will henceforth be Adel's understudy. Or should we do a person? Put Craigty Nelson. Oh, Craigty Nelson. Adel, can you do your Craigty Nelson impression? Hey, coach. Hey, coach. I don't. Hey, coach, it's me.

Uncanny. Uncanny. It's punch bob. Okay, let's see. Do you know Dauber is Patrick? What a world. And JPC, I'm going to say Captain Hook impressionist. What do we think we should do for JBC?

Hmm. Yeah, just do like one of those like boardwalk caricatures of Captain Hook. That'll be. Boardwalk, I'm part? Boardwalk. What I say. Steve Buscemi. Steve Buschemy.

Put Buschemy. Aaron, put Buscemi. Steve Buscemi now. It's Buscemi now. Doing an impression of Captain Hook will be. He's a understudy. I think we're solid. Throw the letter in the trash.

Trash lights on fire. Spirits and Ugi ghosts come running out, screaming, moaning. You've been very into the word of Ugi lately, Adel. Have I? Looks over at Word of the Day calendar every day is Ugi. I bought a nightmare before Christmas word of the day calendar. The last six months has been Ugi Boogie. It's been all ugi all of the time.

Okay, I know what I'm getting at all for Christmas this year. It is an expensive time-consuming joke. Oh, it looks like for March, it's clown with a tearaway face. That's one word. Interesting. How are you guys? Good. Yeah, I'm good.

Solid. Solid. Like a rock. If you were so solid, then how can I tip you over? Ugu Oogie, Ugi, Ugi, Ui, Ui, Ui's solid. Speaking of Ugi. And tipping over. Does someone have some news?

Well, I was just going to say, I think we're two months out, but April of the Penguins is right around the bend. And I'm very excited. Speaking of Ugi, I'm very excited, too. Who's won so far? We're really only one month out, honestly. I won the first year. What are you talking about? Boston Wadler's won in 2020.

Okay, that's not you winning, Aaron. A lot of brave penguins died to get you that win. They weren't brave. A lot of cowardly penguins perished. Who won last year? Four-way time? Five-way time. What was your team last year?

Last year I was the New Orleans Night Owls. I think you won. I think you won. Are you what are you going to do back to back years? Who do you think is going to take the cake? I'm going to go ahead and say, I think this is Casey Tony's season. Oh, Aaron Keith Hesdersteady. I'm checking the Penguin Baseball Wiki, and it seems that it has not been created.

So we don't have to worry about it. Good. You know what? Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Um, Casey, Casey, do you think you have what it takes this year? I don't know. I think I have what it takes. I think my cowardly penguins absolutely do not. And we should tease that we're not doing penguins this year. Well, hey, we should maybe tease this next month with, I don't know, why we're teasing this a full month. I like to, because we like to tease. It seems pretty early to tease something that's.

Sorry, that was very. Very oogie of me. I'd like to go ahead and tease Penguin Baseball 2027. Yes. Water Wars edition. Okay. I actually do know that I'm old man puzzles and I'm a woman now. I've got a blood test.

I'm a woman now. I can be responsible. I'm not a child anymore. I'm a grown adult. Are you saying old man puzzles as a woman now? Old man puzzles has always been a woman. Canaanically The Year of the Old Men Puzzles is a woman

Go back to episode three Play the clip about the woman living alone And holding a candle Hmm Hmm And then it's a whoosh sound I live alone I'm holding a candle

How can I afford all these candles And then we whoosh back Although I'm not allowed to ask Casey to do stuff like that anymore JPC gets mad A smash cut to Smash cut to An Urban Outfitters Kisses up to him

Somebody's stealing a ton of clothes a smash cut to Ed DeBevix and someone's eating a hamburger and smash and then we we zoom in on Aaron Keefe. Does a smash cut, to do a smash cut, does it need to have a sound effect? No, I think it's just like a quick cut.

It's just a hard cut, right? There doesn't need to be any sort of sound effect. An unceremonious hard cut. Got it, okay. Yeah. But like a blam or a crunch doesn't hurt. I think that if we're going to use the term smash cut instead of like hard cut, it should come with, it has to have like a breaking glass thing,

you know, like when, who is, when Stone Cold Steve Austin, like, came out to the rain, you know? Okay, smash that to us walking through a crate and barrel, trying not to knock over all of the wine glass displays. Smash mouth to the wine glasses everywhere. Somebody once told me. Smash mouth isn't great. What?

Smash mouth to Ferris wheel and Aaron you and I are seated in a cart but JPC is dangling from it. Oh no! Stop the ride. Smash mouth to us at a smash mouth

concert and they're not playing their own music. Aaron, he's dead. There are no more smash mouth concerts. What? Aaron, how? The guy's dead, Aaron. The man. Boogie, boogie.

Okay, guys, I don't want to do riddles just as much as the next girl To celebrate the life of the guy from Smashmouth Oogie Boogie Go ahead and leave us a one-star review on Apple Podcasts. Do not do it. Do not do that. No, leave us a five-star review that the title is one-star And that technically counts as one-star.

Yeah, technically counts as one-star. Um, okay. All right, okay. Me thinks the lady The lady taught the protest too much Okay These are from Lauren I'm so grateful for you Lauren

Thank you for sending in these riddles Hi team So grateful for you Lauren I'm grateful for Lauren I love you Lauren Don't say that I love you Lauren Lauren said hi team Yeah hi team

I never thought about it but we are a team We don't play like one Who's the captain CPC's the one in the boat that is the one yelling at us. Addle's the one rowing and I'm leaning back like I'm being taken on a picnic.

I guess I don't want the responsibility of being the captain, but I do want to be able to say I'm the captain now. Sure. But I guess that guy wasn't really the captain. He just kind of became the captain a little later on, right? How about I was the captain then? I was the captain then.

You are the captain then. You're like wistful. You're saying it as you're being mutinied. That's the luck. I'm the captain now. I was the captain of them. I am a paralegal and I run weekly riddle team channels for my law firm. And I have torts inspired movie riddles for you all.

Sorry, torts? Yes. It's a tort. I'm glad that you asked because Lauren answered it in the next sentence because we don't know. Even though I'm technically a lawyer after following the Karen Reed trial for so many months. I'm not. I just learned a lot. A tort is a.

an act or omission that gives rise to injury or harm to another and amounts to a civil wrong for which courts impose liability. Okay. Interesting. And it's T-O-R-T? Yes. I would assume it's a single tortellini. Yeah, it is short for tortilla. Tortellini. Okay, wait, hold on. Explain what a tort is like I'm stupid. Aaron, you're not using chat DP tort, are you? No. You better not be using chat. I'm looking on Reddit, which is basically cutting out the AI middleman.

Someone, it's a fancy legal term for someone did something wrong to you and now you have to pay for it. Tort? Yeah, it's like, um, uh, it applies like to like civil law, right? Like, like, if, um, if you like knock down my, you're my neighbor and like you like knock down my fence or something to, to cut down a tree, I don't know. Chamba bumba, to you. getting knocked down. However neighbors interact with each other,

then I would be like, you and me are going to tort law court. And then if you, if you're guilty, you're going to tort jail. I would watch tort court and daytime tort court on TV.

I think that's all of it. It's tort court, right? Is it? I think so. Yeah, because it's all civil. None of those like daytime court shows are like a murder trial

or something, right? Like, they're all like... Big companies. Yeah. Can I ask, can I ask, old lady question? Sure. In the voice though. How can I get my email

to look, have the font look bigger? It looks so small of my computer and I'm having a hard time reading it. Can I tell you I was on a plane pretty recently? And I was sitting next to an older person and their font was so big

on their phone. It's a lot to be whatever. But I was not trying to read their phone and I felt like a passing glance I got the full picture of whatever they were doing at any time and I really wanted to be like hey man just turn your phone if it's gonna be that big you got do some op-sec here like I don't need to know your text messages what was your question about is what it's still about torts Aaron no I want to I need to zoom in how do I get my how do I get the writing to be bigger control plus or command plus where's the plus button on my Aaron this day's

in this is in casey. Aaron, it's right next to the delete button. No. The equal. Yeah. Alt-F-4. But it doesn't do anything when I did that. Is it on a web browser?

Yeah. Yeah, it should. I mean, I don't tell you. Smash mouth to Aaron at the genius bar. Hold. Oh. Don't, no, don't do. Don't hit alt-depth four.

Alt-f4, Aaron, if you don't know, this is something that used to be big in like video game community so when I was a child's child where people would be like how do I get this thing on like StarCraft and someone would be like yeah just hit Altif4 and Altadf4 closes the program so you would just see you could just see like this person exited the game lobby when people do this outstanding just like an absolute troll move for 14 year olds in the 90s Aaron I'm telling oh you have a Mac well it's controller command plus but that's it's not doing anything though Aaron Alp I don't know to tell you what do you send me your emails in a Google Doc, I'll print them out

in a larger font and then mail them to you. Oh, no, no. Okay, I know what I'll do. I'm going to copy a paste this into a word, doc, to make the font 20. I can't get it. Is there somewhere on my, it says that if I,

on my browser settings, I can. I mean, you can, I thought Casey would help me. Did you look at the plus line? We're PC people. You can hit command and then, do you have a mouse wheel? Are you using Safari?

too. No, I'm using Chrome. Well, in Chrome, do you have a, like, a magnifying glass in the URL bar? Aaron, launch your extension. In the URL bar, a magnifying glass. No.

The navigation bar at the top of the screen. Audience, hold tight. We have some customer support. No, that's search. The magnifying glass is a search. Okay, Control You will get you into the source code, Aaron, and then just copy and paste whatever you're looking through from the source code into a word document.

That's what I said I was going to do it. Everyone laughed at me. Ma'am, what do you see on your screen right now? You're not my son. Aaron, what are you trying to look up? Is it possible you didn't buy a Groupon, you bought a living social? No, no.

I'm trying to get my email. Why is it so small? Why did this happen? Aaron, can you just, can you just pinch to Zoom? I don't know how to do that. On your, on your, oh, well, you don't have a, do you have a touchscreen? It's on a laptop.

It's on laptop. Aaron, what are you? try to look up. I'll just look it up for you. What do you need? I'm not trying to look anything up. I'm trying to read this email. Does your mouse have a scroll bar? Yes. Hold command and then scroll up. Yeah. Aaron, can I ask something? Nothing's happening. Try control and then scroll up. Nothing's happening. All right. Erin, what did you do the previous eight years? What do you mean? On the show? I'm saying, or just generally. What happened now? I don't know. I've mostly been in bed. I've been very, very sad. Okay, hold on. This is going to drive me

A bloggers who do crazy Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have, if I do these three dots and then I do History downloads Well History download Oh, Zoom, Zoom! Oh no, it's at 100%.

Oh, no, I can do more than 100%. Wow! Yeah! I did it all on my own with no help from boys. You're not allowed to cut. any of this out. Oh, I'm cutting all of it out, bitch. Oh, you can write that you're cutting it, but ultimately who makes that choice? But if you close your eyes, do, do, okay, what were we talking about? Torts. Torts. Torts.

Tort. In the hints below, see, Lauren, thank you. Now I can read this. Now the font's big. I do think I'm actually, I do have really bad eyesight and I actually do think it's getting worse by the day. Well, yeah. I mean, it is. That's aging. Right. How long until I can't drive anymore, you think? Now? How will they now earn? 34. For example. I think the water wars are going to come way before you have to worry about giving up your driver's listening.

In the hints below, I've described one or more torts that occurred in a film. To get the answer, add or change one letter so that tort is included in the film's title. This will make sense. Yep. Add or change a letter. Okay. Yes. Woody commits defamation against Buzz by claiming he is not a real space range. Tort story.

Torit story. Torit story. It's toy. There's only tort once. What? Toy. Toy storty. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. I get it. I get it. I get it. Yeah. All right. Let's be done.

I'm just kidding. Ten minutes. of tech to do one and then just trash it. All right. Next email. Oh, my God. This is too big. This is way too big. Meredithis commits assault and battery against his fellow competitors in the arena. Gladi tortee. Gladi-Tor-Tor-T. Yeah.

Wally-A-Tor-Tor-E-Tor-Wil-Lu. Willie Wanka-Mite face a suit for property negligence due to lack of guardrails around his chocolate river. Charlie and the chocolate fact-tortory. Yeah. Fact-Tor-Tor-Tor-T. Factortory. Factorty. Factorty. Factorty. By threatening to drop a speck containing hooville and a pot of boiling bazile nut oil, it could be argued that sour kangaroo is committing intentional infliction of emotional distress against the titular elephant. The Lord Thrax. Torton. Torton hears a who. Torton hears a who. Torton hears a who. What did you say, Jamie? The Lord Thrax, the Lort.

I would like to see a scene. Adel, you are the prosecution, and you can pick any Dr. Seuss character that you are suing. And these are your opening arguments. And JPC, you have to play whatever Dr. Seuss character. He wants you to. Your Honor, one fish, two fish, redfish, bluefish? Now, I count three fish. and two colors. So unless I'm crazy, one of these fish is lying. There's only two fish to be seen.

Your Honor, your, Your Honor, if I, if I may, could I get like a bowl of water or something? Seems kind of a little cruel, unusual that I... Do we have to do a brief recess, or is your client, can someone take control over your client? They're having an emotional outburst here in the courtroom. I can take control over my client. Let me just sit here and maybe I'll try it. Yarno. This is really serious.

Yonah, this cat is ambulatory on two legs. It's bipedal. Most cats are on all fours. Objection. Can we have the lawyer's... A cat at all fours? A house without doors. Yonna, a house with our doors is not a house.

That's a shed. Can I have the council. I'll join me here at my bench, please. If everyone can just come up, please. I would like to talk to the lawyers privately. And my axe? My bench are yours, a cat on all fours. I expect more tact from you.

This is a really high profile murder trial. And I just need everyone to sort of lock in. You are doing great. Prosecution. I'm no complaints. Me? Yes. You're doing fantastic. Mr. Hat. Your honor.

Your honor. May I speak freely? Yes, we cannot speak for the trees. You cannot speak for the trees. I would never dare to speak for the trees. I can barely speak for the mees. Are you drunk? Oh my gosh, let me smell your breath.

It smells like mushrooms and vodka. We're going to have to do a pre-freecess. The cat in the hat is drunk. See, the cat in the hat is always drunk. He's a constantly drunk one. Yeah. And thing one and thing two, I think are pretty stoned. I think they're on meth. They have meth vibes.

Is redfish bluefish, is that a line from a Dr. Seuss story? Or is that a straight up? The whole book is about the fish. Yeah, it's for babies. One fish, two fish, redfish, bluefish. And then what happens? I think they go in an adventure? Do they have, do the fish have personalities that I don't know about?

No, I think they're just like a list. I think it's like a listy book. It's a listy book. Like hop on pop Like hop on pop Like hop on pop Like hop on pop Hop and pop is a list

Yeah because hop on pop Right Isn't hop on pop It's only like one part of hop on pop Everything else just a bunch of rhymes Right I'm afraid I haven't read Dr. Seusson 38 years

One fish two fish Redfish bluefish Blackfish blue fish Old fish new fish This one has a little car This one has a little star. Say, what a lot of fish there are. Yes, some are red.

Yes, some are blue. Some are old and some are new. Some are sad. Some are glad. And some are very, very bad. Oh, God. Why are they sad and glad and bad? I don't know.

Go ask your dad. Some are thin. Some are fat. The fat one has a yellow hat. From there to here, from here to there. Funny things are everywhere. Here are some who like to run. They run for fun in the hot, hot sun.

Oh me, oh my, oh me, oh my. What a lot of funny things go by. Some have two feet, some have four, some have six feet, some have more. Where do they come from? I can't say. But I bet they have come a long, long way. We see them come, we see them go.

Some are fast, some are slow. Some are high, some are low. Not one of them is like another. Don't ask us why. Go ask. mother. Now what did we learn? Uh, that Dr. Souss is kind of fucking like chopped and washed and hack and shit. Like, what the fuck was that? That the one fish's car is ruined because water, because you put a car in water and it ruins the car. I was looking for maybe a little bit more

of like, this is an English class. So like, let's take deep. What do you think it's a metaphor for? Oh, so this is like, um, what's that? Edgar Allan Poe. thing with all the colors. Telltale heart, probably. Delta heart. The mask, what is that? The red mask or something. Count of Monte de facto.

The masculation. Huh. Aaron, you think that was a metaphor for something? It better be. Otherwise, it's a bunch of nonsense words. Aaron, I'm mostly impressed that you didn't Google that story or anything, that your eyes just went stark white like brand in Game of Thrones. Yeah, I don't.

You saw that too, right? If I actually wasn't here, like I completely blacked out, but I did read the whole thing or say the whole thing, right? Aaron is half mintat on her mother's side. Your mom's a librarian, right? Librarians are mintats? That's what I'm saying here. All of a sudden, I can see through the eyes of a bird. I'm sure that's fine, though.

Yeah, I think Dr. Seuss is fucking nonsense. I like the colorful pictures, but when you take the pictures out, it doesn't make a lick a sense. No, no, no. Even if he can talk to animals, this veterinarian faces strict liability if his wild patients should attack. Dr. Tort Doolittle. Yes. Fantastic. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Lauren. I appreciate you.

And enjoy your law, Lauren, is what I'll say. Enjoy your law. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren.

Lauren. Lauren tort. I think we're getting it. Let's go on a break because my brain hurts. Hey, GPC, hey, Aaron. What's up, now? Yeah, what's up? I was looking up at the night sky and seeing all these things shooting across the night sky.

And I was wondering, what all is out there in the night sky? Well, stars. We're at war with the Palladians. What? UFOs. Wait, the Palladians. Are those some sort of aliens? And rockets.

Which reminds me this weekend, you guys, I've realized that I realized that I, I had been spending so much money on a subscription that I forgot to cancel. I did the whole free trial thing. And then I forgot to cancel it. I was paying for it a couple months. But Rocket Money reminded me. Oh, please tell me that you're using Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your own wanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Oh, big time, big time. And growing your savings is more important now than ever, what with the upcoming war with the Palladians on our doorstep. Mm-hmm. Now, Palladians are pallid and aliens, of course, and they come here wanting our, I want to say, oxygen. But with rocket money, you can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Because you're going to want to save as much money as possible.

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slash riddle. R-I-D-L-E. They look just like us. You say joyfully. They look just like us. I want to say oxygen. Erin, JPC, good morning to you. You, good morning to you,

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That squirrel last year cost me so much money during tax time. Yeah, I know that's a headache time of year, the tax time. Just go to one place that's going to have it completely under control where all of your stuff is in one safe space. And as a small business owner, aka a tyrant, I love found because it allows me to put all of those administrative tasks in one platform. I can get in, I can get out, saves me time, helps me streamline things. It's a really great platform if you are running a business. But don't take it from them. Take it from me.

This is nuts. No. Take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fow unde. com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by a lead bank. Member FDIC joined the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with found.

Aaron, that is not a squirrel. That is Richard Kynid in a squirrel costume. He is eating Adel's money. I used to live with George Clooney. Guys, I bet you've noticed that I'm super confident now. It's all kind of turned around for me. I keep getting compliments on my cashmere oversized V-neck sweater. Whoa, Aaron, yeah.

Did you get taller? No, I'm just wearing my favorite brown Mongolian cashmere oversized V-neck sweater. I got from Quince. Did you shrink? No, no, no. What the heck? I bet you thought this cost an arm in her leg. It did not.

It did not. Oh, you got turned inside out. No, I'm wearing a really cute sweater from Quince. Oh, we can see your bones. Huh. That's a different thing. We'll talk about that after. Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts.

Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season, the list goes on. Yeah, and plus doesn't Quince only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I think I remember knowing that about Quince. Yeah, just quality clothing. I also have a raincoat from them that is so good. It's the type of piece that you're going to keep for years and years and years.

I got a cable net sweater from Quince, and I kid you not, it is the only thing that I have ever followed the directions on to hand wash. Everything else that I own, I'm like, it says hand wash, but I'm not hand washing this. It's so nice that I'm like, I must hand wash this. This is a nice sweater. What I've discovered is since buying items from Quince, I just collect a few very nice items, and it's about quality over quantity. I used to have like 40 different types of jackets, and I just have two nice ones from Quince, and they pair well with everything. Okay, so here's the deal. I also love their home stuff.

Their home stuff is amazing. If you don't want to get your bones turned absolutely inside outlet, was I assume is what happened to Aaron. We'll talk about that later. I think that's just my body. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too, A. That's quince.com slash riddle.

Free shipping on 365 day returns, quince.com slash riddle. This one's on me, guys. I did break my arm and didn't notice. No problem at all. But you look good doing it. I know. Okay, we are back from break. How is everyone's orange slices in Caprisons?

Um, good. Mine fell on the floor. Yeah, I was going to say, you guys are looking to the left and right. Did they fall on the floor? Mine fell on the floor. I thought I was supposed to open the caprizona with the orange, and it got real slippery, and it both fell on the floor. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Okay, I left you guys along for two seconds. Skim, scum, scone. Yeah, okay. Every time I'm a long. Well, you left us alone, we're both very, wearing bright orange sweaters that say do not leave a load. Yeah, that's on me.

That's on me. What do I want to do now? Do I want to do more listeners a minute or want to read from a book? Let's have a vote. Everyone, this is a democracy. Is it? Everyone gets a vote. Okay.

It's the first Tuesday of November. So do you get a vote as well, Erin? No. So it's a two-person democracy. Oh, boy. I don't know if this is going to work. Oh, Casey can vote. Everybody put your vote in the chat.

Okay. What are my options? Listener submitted or from a book. Casey said listener. JPC said Obama. And Adel said we try to raise Dr. Seuss from the dead. Okay, democracy is over. No more democracy.

No more democracy. It's a tortalian. Tortellian. Torttaill, tortellitarian. Totalitarian, tortellatarian, tortellatolian. Torttala tortellian. Perfect. Um, okay.

You know what I noticed over the last several years? No. I'm old man puzzles. Oh. I used to read long-winded riddles. Riddles that were like a little bit more story-based. And we used to focus more of the episode on those. I got less and less attracted to those as we went.

But I was handed this book at a live show. This has a little bit of longer riddles. So I'm going to try to reintroduce that back into the fold. Got it. This does require a level of listening that feels harder to two post-COVID lockdown. I think our attention spans have gotten shorter in the last several years. How do we feel about paying attention for a long period of time? No.

Perfect. I completely agree. If you tried to do this to me, I'd freak out. Do we need a pen and paper by chance? No. You just need to turn your listening ears on. But that feels hard. So if you need to play a game on your phone. Aaron. When you say we need to be listening, do we need to be listening to the story from the book that you are going to read to us? Or do we need to be listening to the little rolling, I want to say movie that's playing at our head that is the little hot. dog and the coke saying let's all go to lobby let's all go to the lobby let's all go the lobby let's all go the lobby and have ourselves a snack yeah um I would say if that feels like an emergency if that starts to be sung in sort of a manic way where they're trying to get your attention

focus on that otherwise maybe focus on the riddle great let's all go to lobby I guess it's kind of an emergency I do have a question yeah um the popcorn the hot dog and the big soda are going to the lobby for snacks. What are they getting? Because they're the snacks. People. In the longer cut of that, which they cut out because they didn't show it to you in the movie theater, they were going. They were getting like a person roasting on that hot dog spin.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were eating people popcorn, which is, I want to say, eyeballs. I don't love that, but that's what it is. They're drinking blood. Uh-huh. Yeah. People popcorn.

It's a longer cut. But it's not blood. It's like blood mixed with carbonation, carbonated water. So like the blood is the syrup. So it's, ooh, actually, that might hit. I'd like to see a scene. Coca-Cola freestyle machine with blood. GPC, you're the hot dog.

Hot dog. I did it for you. Adel, you are the soda. I am the popcorn. And we are all kind of like high at the movies. And we're commenting on the movie that we're watching. Oh, shit. Holy shit, they're going to go to space and destroy the asteroid?

That's fucking nuts. Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Why wouldn't they just train astronauts how to use a drill? Why would they train oil drillers to be... To be astronaut? Isn't astronauts way hard? Who's eating my bun? Who's eating my bun?

Oh, sorry, sorry. What the fuck? Who the fuck? Sorry, we didn't, we tried to get dinner before this and then we were running late. Oh my God, I just thought of something. What's up? Is the straw my mouth or my dick? Don't answer.

Don't answer. Hide it, hide it. Oh my God, hide it. Yikes, yikes, yikes. You can't shove your dick back inside. No, I'm just covering it up. I mean, cover it up. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Do you guys think he's handsome? Who? The guy in the movie? Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, wait. Michael Park Duncan? Is Steve Bouchimi? Steve Bouchemi?

Oh, yeah. She kills it. Horn dog. What a great character. What a good character, archetype. That's my bun. Okay, fine. I'm going to take one of you.

I'm going to take a little bite of one of you. Because you've been eating my bun all night. I'm a soda. Hey, you three got to leave shining a flashlight on you. This is not a place for an orgy. This is a movie theater. One of you has your dick out, the other one's eating the other one's buns. You got to go.

The three of you have got to go. All right, all right. All right, bye. All right, all right. What's caught? Okay. It's fine. Well, let's see the ending and then we'll get out of here.

All right, okay. All right. We're going. Oh, he's putting an animal cracker on her tummy. See. What movie is this? Armageddon. Armaged.

I know. Armageddon. All right. What movie has been enough like putting an animal cracker on Liv Tyler's tummy? Because I remember the part with the training them to go to space. Yeah. Because then he says that in like the commentary or something of it. That might have been Owen Wilson's big break.

I think it was. The best part of that movie is that Liv Totler and Ben Affleck have sex to a Stephen Tyler song. And it just feels like, I kind of feels a little wrong, right? That's your dad's singing. Your dad's singing right now. I would like to do. That's so funny.

I would like to do an experiment. Right now, this is going to be a scene, but it's actually just us doing the commentary for the beginning part of this episode. So we're going to do DVD commentary. We're just going to try to remember the best we can of what happened at the beginning of this episode. So you can layer this later, listeners,

if you want to hear a commentary from the beginning of the episode. See, I think what Aaron's doing here is so brave. Because normally, it would peek behind the curtain, we cut out 10 to 15 minutes per episode of Aaron trying to zoom into her computer screen or find out she, I mean, it took a long time to figure out what a tab was. She kept trying to pay her tab, her various tabs. We were watching her feed $1 bills into her computer.

But we left to end the episode, and that I feel like that's a pretty brave choice. And did we leave it in the episode? Or did Aaron go through the edit and she sort of made sure? Well, another peek behind the curtain is that Aaron doesn't post the episodes. And what Casey does is he can make sometimes fake files and gives them to Aaron and says, this is the episode. You can definitely hear this episode. And then someone else goes and puts the real file in the episode. And Aaron what do you have to say about that?

Oh, Adel's about to make a joke and he sticks the landing. Adel, did you get a stunt double to do that? Yes, that was actually Oksana Bayoull. Oh, wow. Remember her? Yes. Remember Aksana Bayol? scene.

What a strange combination of letters coming from Adel Shoki Rify? Aksana. I like Aksana Bayol. The absolute tug of war that's going to happen behind the scenes in this episode between JPC and I. This is going to be emotional warfare that Casey's going to be in the crosshairs of. And Adel, you should try to do a secret edit, the secret Adel edit and get one over on both of us. This will be like the Zach Snyder director's cut.

Yes. You make it four hours longer and much, much worse. Any time more work is required from anyone in this podcast, there is zero talk of more. It is one person may decide to do it and everyone else does not. Mike Peters was surprised to see his windows slide open and was positively shocked when he saw two strangers climb inside. What transpired next could only be described as a despicable act of thievery. Mike watched with fascination. as the two thieves systematically began to remove the priceless Persian carpets, artwork, and jewelry.

Having stripped the room, the thieves climbed back out the window. Incredibly, Mike went back to what he had been doing before and the thieves arrived and soon he forgotten about the entire incident. Why wouldn't Mike, who was in perfect health, have tried to stop the thieves or at the very least called the police after they left? Sorry, you said at some point the thieves arrived? Mike went back to what he had been doing before the thieves arrived. Oh, okay. Is this like in Sims?

Is this like a Sims? Yeah, they're all Sims. Gabe? Mike Peters, in my imagining here, is not a human. I got to think that Mike Peters is like, what's something with like no memory, like a silkworm or something like that? Like a spider. Do we know about spider memory? All the silkworms listening to this are so offended.

For 15 seconds. And they just remember back. Yeah. Is Mike Peters a human? Mike Peters is a human. Okay. It said that they were stealing Persian rugs, right? Mm-hmm.

So, because in my mind, I was like, oh, he's like in the hospital. He's got, like, some memory disorder or something like that. He's in perfect health. He's in perfect health. And you wouldn't steal Persian rugs from a hospital, right? So it's got to be a place that you are stealing. If you're a bad person you are. And if the hospital is super fancy.

It doesn't fly here, though. The amount of liquid, the amount of bodily fluids that are hitting that Persian rug. Yum. Bed pan on a Persian rug. Ooh, la, la. Bed pan on a Persian. I did a deep clean of my couch yesterday with my, like, wet couch vacuum thing that does the fabric cleaning.

And I have a white couch and I was like, oh, it's actually not that dirty. Like, this should be okay. Jet black water in the vacuum. It's disgusting. And I was like, oh, my God, I lay on this all day. What have I done? You have a black dog in a white couch, huh? I know.

I do. That's that. Did you get the couch before you got Lou? No, after. But shout out to all form couches. Because it's a. really good shape still and it cleans up really well. Hey, if you want to give, if you want to stop giving a shit about any piece of furniture or like thing that you own in your house, all you have to do is have a kid because they treat it like absolute garbage and you go, okay, good.

I'm now releasing the part of me that cares about these being nice. Now everything, now everything, you can just beat the shit out of. Who cares? The house is to be lived in. Yeah. Is that, is Mike Peters a baby? Yes. Mike Peters is a baby. JBC, you help me.

Mike Peters is a baby? This is my baby, Mike Peters. Actually, that fucking rules. Introducing your baby first and last name. Mike Peters is a baby. This is my baby Mike Peters. Yeah, but why is your guys this last name Abrams? We just love the name Mike Peters for a baby.

Mike Peters was actually my dad's best friend, his old war buddy. And so when he died, we said, we're going to name our kid after you. And we went literal with it. Mike Peters as a baby, it feels like if you want to have your baby have like Bruce Willis and look who's talking voice. Oh, yeah. You're like, you name your baby like Mike Peters and give them like a badge. Because I feel like Mike Peters, baby. I feel like within that sentence, someone's flashing a badge.

Yeah. Mike Peters, baby. Mike Peters, baby. How long has the person been living in this residence? I say about three. Oh, he's asleep. Mike Peters, professional baby. I guess there are like plenty of people named Mike.

I know a couple of mics, but it also does not seem, I feel like when they're a baby, you go Mikey. You're like, this is Mikey. And then like later on, you know, drop it to Mike. But like, Mike Peters is just, it's too old time you have a name for a baby. Yeah, it's too formal. Even though it's not Michael, it's too formal. Yeah. If anyone needs a pet for your pet, Mike Peters is really funny. This is my baby, Donald Johansson.

Excuse me? Walk away from me. Donald Johansson is doing tummy time? I wouldn't want this musty old dump if you gave it to me, snapped I to Gamble. Look, replied Sam Sham. Clem may have been a whacked out hermit, but I have a feeling he hid a fortune on this property. This house has been boarded up for seven years. All you need to do is pay the back taxes and a my modest fee, and this little gem is all yours. I'm out of here, cried Ida.

Wait, just let me show you the secret staircase I found. Sam pulled back the oak press paper paneling to reveal the hidden staircase. Look, that step is loose and there's something shiny behind it. Sam pulled back the loose step to discover a small collection of shiny sterling silver cutlery. I knew it, exclaimed Sam. This house contains a fortune. I think I might buy it myself. Not so fast, replied Ida.

You offered me the house and I just bought it. How do you know that Ida has just been scammed? Well, I mean, as far as schemes go. to the lobby. It seems like a pretty obvious scam for someone to be like, hey, do you want this thing? And someone would be like, no. And then for them to immediately find something very valuable in it and be like, whoa, look at this. I found something very valuable.

That strikes me as like three card Monty. Like you're getting scammed immediately here. Yeah, yeah. But why? How do we know? What detail gives it away other than the obvious vibe? Seems like he knew where the hidden panel was. I mean, the whole thing, right?

Is there one thing in here? Because it seems like a collection of, like, hidden panel, sterling silver. Mm. Yeah, but like, what is an odd, like, this, what are they, what are they looking for? Treasure? No, like, what, um. Love? Oh, are they in love?

No, it's an indicator. I guess you're never looking for it. It's an indicator that he. Is he two percent? precise when he says sterling silver? Like, does he know it's sterling silver, like, too quickly? Do you have to get that tested? No, but you are zoning in on the right detail.

Okay. Sterling silver doesn't shine. Uh, yeah, sterling silver is dull. If Clems' musty-old house had been boarded up for seven years, the sterling silver cutlery would have been badly tarnished and not shiny. It was an obvious plant by the master of scams, Sam Sham. By the way, Sam Sham, not the master of scams. First of all, buddy, got to change your name. Go with maybe Mike Peters a little more innocuous if you're going to be running scams on people.

I'd like to see a scene. Okay. Aaron, you are running a scam as a fortune teller. GPC, you are a hapless customer who is going in for the first time to get your fortune told. Ah, I knew you were coming in here today. Oh, my God. Oh, that's wonderful. That's, oh my God.

You must be the real. Do I sit anywhere? Ah, you sit in... Oh, I knew you were going to pick that chair. Oh, yes. It looks like the one chair in the room. I didn't know if there was other options of chairs. My God, you're good.

Whoa, this is so crazy. A message is being channeled. Huh? Threw me into me. That's why I'm here for a message. Oh, my gosh. you're about to tell me your bank routing number

and your social security number wow I guess I don't mind telling you my routing number those are and the account number yeah I was going to say because those are just like and the social security unique to bank but the account number and the social security number I was going to tell you that

yes It's very important that you do Your life depends on it Okay Oh 221 7198-8-8-4 And then my social security number is 61821 Not so fast

Mike Peters baby detective We've been circling this lady for Three months trying to get her Mike Peters you'll never get me You can't crawl fast enough idiot She's right, of course. Throw me. You have to throw me.

You can barely hold up your neck. What's going to happen when he throws you? You can't grab onto nothing? You're going to pull yourself off on the coffee table and dance a little? Yeah, right, Mike Peters. You'll never catch me. I jumped out the window. I thought I was on the first floor.

Two stories up. I guess I pick up Mike Peters and throw Mike Peters out the window as well. Wee. Mike Peters, baby detective. He's a freeze frame out the window. Smash mouth to me hanging on my feet. Can I go? Should I go? Seed.

It happened in Alaska during the winter of 1993 when a small, fully loaded passenger plane tried to approach the runway during a violent snowstorm. The control tower regretfully informed the pilot that due to the inclement weather, the runways were closed to all air traffic. Furthermore, all airports within a 300-mile radius were also closed.

Upon hearing this, the pilot immediately informed the passengers of the news while turning the plane around and heading back from where they had just come. Incredibly enough, within a half hour, all the passengers were safely inside an airport terminal building. How was this possible? The plane was on the ground? The plane was on the ground. Yeah. The passengers and the crew were approaching the runway for takeoff when they were informed

that the runways were closed and their flight was canceled. Oh, what a happy ending. That's always such a fun ending. Yeah, I'd like to see a scene. You two are pilots and you were flying a plane and you both don't want to be the one to give the bad news over the intercom because you don't want to be the bad guy that you guys are not going to be taking off. This is your captain speaking for United Flight 483 nonstop to Phoenix. We have a bit of bad news, and my co-pilot, Chad, is going to tell you that right now.

Yep, this is Chad. I am your co-pilot. Of course, Captain Dan up here. He is the head honcho, the main captain. The bad news that I was going to deliver, I know we said earlier in the flight that the expected weather in Phoenix was going to be a... B'all me 78 degrees. It's now looking like it's going to be 82 in Phoenix. Unfortunately, that's not the end of our bad news. More. Over to Dan. Captain Dan. Speaking of 82 in Phoenix, my aunt is 82 years old today.

And I just got a word that she did pass away. She fell in a shower, conked her head, and died on impact. So if you need to get off the flight Do that information, please make your way to the front of the plane. We'll let you out quick style. If you look to the left, you'll see your co-pilot Chad About to make the announcement, Chad? Chad again.

Looks like somebody checked a wolf And their checked luggage, and the wolf is loose in the bottom of the plane. So if you are allergic to wolves in any way And you want to make your way off the plane today, United will of course, and burst you for a different flight. If you're fine with a loose wolf on the plane, stay on by all means.

Back over to you, Dan, for more. Plain news. In plane news today, one of you as a real passenger and the other 87 are Air Marshals. I'll leave it to you to figure out who's who. Back to you, Chad. Speaking of Air Marshals,

the Air Jordans that you bought at Marshalls are fake. You have 44 hours to return to the store, if that applies to anyone on the plane. Please exit the plane. Now, back to you, Dan. Just a heads up for all you passengers who might have Jordans or any other patent leather shoe. Patent leather is a term used for the cheapest quality of leather. They call it patent leather.

Some people think it means genuine, but it's actually a term for the cheapest cut of leather. Back to you, Chad. Speaking of Genuine, Genuine, doing a special performance of Pony in the O'Hare Terminal 5. Break room, if you are interested in attending a free concert of Genuine singing only the song Pony as many times as he can before he passes out, feel free to D-Play now. Speaking of Pony, I just want to say a quick announcement to one of our passengers, stay Golden Pony Boy. Stay Golden, whatever that means to you. Are we going to take off or... Take off?

Take off. Yeah, we've been on the runway for, like... Two hours. This thing's like 40,000 pounds. What are you talking about? That's what airplanes do. What? See.

The two dumbest men alive. This thing's like 40,000 pounds. Okay, okay. Let's do a voicemail theme, please, Casey. Oh, wow. How about sweet this? I must have my beef. On your knees, fuck butt, buttler.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is nuts. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Unbelievable. Okay, I'm going to do ringtone. That is another one from Jane Seifer.

And of course, this is Jane Seifer month, because Jane Seifer submitted four of those. So we have two more to go. Thank you so much for submitting if you want to submit a voicemail. 30 seconds or less to hrrr podcast.com. Of course. That fucking ruled. Hey, Gluberu. This is Johnny down in Pensacola.

Let's see if I can do this in 30 seconds. Adel, I just got back from New Orleans. Those three things I probably should have done and but didn't. JPC, with the way this world's going, what are your top three budgeting tips? Hmm. And Aaron, what are your top three tips for keeping sane and having half? happy when the bullshit just won't stop. Thank y'all for everything you do.

We need y'all right now. Stay strong, y'all. What a charming message. What was their name? I couldn't quite make it out. I want to say Johnny and Pensacola, but that just, it just, it sounded very Johnny, but it could be, it could be, it's Pensacola. Let's just refer to this. We could refer to this person as Pensacola.

Here's three things you should have done. Number one. pronounced it chapatoulis not decapitalis I think it was Mike Peters Oh, maybe detective Number two You should have sought out Laiuzas by the track

The best hot butter shrimp bow boy in town Wow And number three You should have Tipped the band at Preservation Hall To play St. James Infirmary Or Tiger Rag because they do take requests. Okay. Okay, three for me real quick. The first one,

the bullet, budgeting is not necessarily about like controlling your spending. It's about understanding your spending. So the first thing you have to do is don't put any judgment on yourself. Just get an idea of where you spend your money that might help you make further decisions or it might just help you figure out where you spend your money. Number two, budgeting does not mean that you can't get anything like nice for yourself or do fun things for yourself. So remember to give yourself some grace. And remember that, you know, taking care of yourself is just as important. So it's important to, if you need to, spend money on yourself in that way. And then number three is set manageable goals, I would say, for it. So, like, if you're doing it for your

first month, you should just set a goal of, like, having an awareness of your money. And then, like, after that, if you want to spend less on, like, dining out, you can set that as a manageable goal. But don't try to do that your, like, first month because you will, you will. it'll lead to failure and failure will make you want to stop, which it shouldn't. Failure should make you want to try again. All right, Erin. JPC, that was really great advice. Thank you. Everything that Adel said about New Orleans, I couldn't tell if you was making it up because I've never been there and I don't know any of those places. So my advice, I'm going to hit you with the classic Mr. Rogers look for the helpers. That's been incredibly helpful recently. There's always people helping in dire situations. So that will help you self-soothe to remember that

humanity has some good in it. Consume stuff that you enjoyed when you were a child. Try to make a younger you proud. And my third piece of advice is go and get your blood work done. Make sure that your inner health is okay and maybe you are vitamin D deficient like the rest of the population. And get that worked out because that will give you a little boost up if you're feeling a little blowing a little bit down. Erin, you're always saying stop making your blood work for you and start working for your blood. Exactly.

That's exactly. It's grind culture mindset. And I guess, oh, go ahead. I was just going to say, I don't know much about budgeting. But I'd also say, I don't know how old you are, but I would say start investing for retirement. And I would say buy five to 10 to 12 houses. Yes.

That's actually that's huge That is huge if you can buy five to ten to twelve houses Which is recent Scott Bessent advice So insane that made me laugh out loud when I saw it Anything to plug guys Hmm I want to plug Gum Shoes and Dragons

I don't think that's the theme song But I would be close That's pretty close Check that out We have a lot of fantastic guests We have a lot of fun on the show itself if we have a Patreon, so check all that out. Also, please listen to Hello from the Magic Tavern.

Mm-hmm. And check out our Patreon, Hey Riddle Riddell's Patreon, especially, not to tease it too early, but especially in that oogiest of months, April, because we will be doing April of the Penguins, which means penguin baseball. Aaron Keefe, anything to plug or promote? Check out Quality Time, if you're in Los Angeles. I've met so many, very sweet, Hey, Riddle-Rittle listeners at Quality. time recently that have been like in town visiting friends and there for other reasons and

happen to be there at the same time as quality time. And it is so nice that people have been showing up. But if you can follow us on Instagram to see when our next show is, JBC, a review to read anything to plug. Yeah. Keep leaving these five-star reviews, people. This one I absolutely love. And I'm, I'm, there's some ones coming up that I love as well. This one just says a five-star review from a Lorelai Faye that says, a guy I met on Tinder told me about this podcast. He turned out to be a pervert and I ghosted him, but two years later, I'm still listening to the show. Hope you're doing well, Josh. Oh, no, Josh.

Josh. Josh. And a wag of my finger to Josh. Josh, come on. This is a wake-up call. And Josh, whatever you did to be a pervert, it sounds like it wasn't a good pervert. It sounds like you were being a pretty naughty pervert. All right.

Well, we're going to keep an eye on that. And hot dogs. It's not hot dogs. Yes, it is. Why can't I do it here, too? Why are we limiting ourselves? I guess you care. And John Patrick Cohen.

Casey Tony did the head and hang me up. Let's all go the lobby. Let's all go the lobby. Let's all go the lobby. To get ourselves a treat. Hey there, pranks and dressing rooms. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of Public Access.

You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. Social, Hey, Riddle, Riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month, plus to get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.