Hey Riddle Riddle - #398: Jeemp Bram Carokee

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

This episode caused the sale of Jeep Grand Cherokee's to plummet. We here at Hey Riddle Riddle take full responsibility and will work harder than ever to make sure Jeep Grand Cherokee returns to it's rightful place atop the full size SUV market. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Okay, so we are auditioning, and this is kind of just a big group audition. We're basically, we're just looking for the next, like, oozing, exuding charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, charm, for our next romantic comedy. So we just want to see you kind of in your natural state, kind of exuding as much charm as you possibly can. We really want you to pop on screen, and we want everyone who watches. like fall in love with your antics. Knock, knock, knock. Are my ears burning?

Leans against store. Throw a jacket over a shoulder. Are you here for the audition? You're 45 minutes late. Oh, I'm sorry. I saw a puppy on the side of the road and had to stop and save it. Oh, that's okay. Uh, yeah, that's, wow, that's actually, hey, write this down.

What was your name? It's a long story. Hey, you've got an eyelash. Let me just... Oh, ow, ow. I have lots of eyelashes. They're all attached. Make a wish.

Wish you wouldn't do that anymore. Really wish you wouldn't do that anymore. Which came true. Sorry I'm late. I got caught in the rain. And I've always told myself since I was a young boy. Anytime it rains, live free. Don't put up an umbrella.

Don't run inside. Let the water soak you to the bone. Because those are the moments. Write that down. Write all that down. These are the moments. Write all that down. Hey, sorry, you got some, you got some hair in your face.

Let me tuck it behind your ear. Oh, ow. I just had a transplant. Sorry about that. Ow. Okay, no, it's fine. It's fine. Everybody, why don't we stop touching me?

Just a casting director. So you don't really need to touch me at all. Why don't you, we have all of our... Hey, sorry, I'm late. Did you leave and now you're coming back? Don't go, okay? Stay. Stay for the audition?

Stay, okay? Where's this down? Is that what you want me to say? Because I'll say it. I'll say it over and over and over again. Be here. Stay here. Be with me.

Carol, Carol, am I too late? Did you get back together with Dave? I don't know who either one of those people are, but... That's fine, but I want you to know. know that no one will ever love you the way I love you. Pick us. Choose us.

Oh, we're actually not casting. We're just seeing if we can get people to give us a bunch of dialogue that we're going to steal the box. What the fuck? This has been so helpful for me. Routabagher. Rule bob. Piece of carrots. Pee's and carrots.

Peas and carrots. Background actors getting upset. Pizza carrots. Hey, welcome to the premier show for peas and carrots. I'm J. P.C., which stands for John, piece of carrots. I'm Adel Rubarb, Rubarb, Rubar.

I'm Aaron Leaf. Huh? Aaron Leaf. No, Aaron. Hey, everyone's was good. Aaron Leaf is her name. Keith. Erin, you're still looking like you want to do more than Aaron Leaf.

Leak. Aaron Leak. Aaron. Leak. Aaron. Don't. You don't. Aaron.

You don't want to do that one. Aaron, onion. Onion. Aaron, I hate to be the one to tell you this. I don't know why. I'm telling you this and not your agent or family member, but you did not get Garden State. Apparently, it went to... I didn't get the 2005 movie Garden State.

Apparently, it went to the young woman from the professional. Yes, Zach Braff got it. I wanted to kiss Natalie Portman. I don't even care anymore. I don't even care. I'm going to quit. I'm going to quit. I'm quitting.

No, Erin. Stick with it, Aaron. I think that eventually you can kiss Natalie Portman. Stick with it. Okay. I'll give it one more year. Although, and Erin, I hate to burst your bubble because I know you have goals. What?

I don't think Natalie Portman actually kisses in any of the same. of those movies. I think she has a kiss double. I can get double the kisses? No, it's it's Karen Knightley. If you're, if you think you're kissing Natalie Portman, you're kissing Karen Knightley. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and not complain about that. I'm going to go ahead and let that be awesome. Oh, Erin, I know I just gave you bad news, but I'm, fuck, it sucks that I have to

tell you this. It seems like you did not get the part of Queen Amadala. What? The 1990, I want to say, Eight Star Wars. Oh my God, you're meeting Christensen get it? I'm so fucking tired of him getting all the parts that I want. No, it was actually Jimmy Smith. And jumper.

Oh, okay, never mind. Smith's got it. Smith deserved it. He can do it all. He can do it all. Did you guys love it when Jimmy Smith showed up back in Andor? Was that him? No.

They recast it. I think he wasn't available. is Benjamin Brat Yeah, Benjamin Bratt. Benjamin Bratt and Jimmy Smiths do look like kissing cousins. I do like... I see an Ander.

I do like in Andor when it is Benjamin Bratt and not Jimmy Smiths, no one was like, oh man, they didn't get Jimmy Smiths. They went, they did as best as...

They got Benjamin Brat, they did as best as they could do. They got someone who was sort of like Jimmy Smiths. I think Jimmy Smith's, Benjamin Bratt, and Lou Diamond Phillips are all sort of

circling the same target I want to say. You know when you go into an audition room and you sit down and you see Benjamin Brett, Lou David Phillips, and Jimmy Spitz, you're not getting the part. You're not getting the part. Yeah, I'd see myself out.

Aaron, who do you think if you went on an audition? Okay. Who do you think you would, what known celebrities do you think he'd be up against? Who are some Aaron types? Oscar the Grouch. Yep. Um, the ghost of Christmas

Pass from Muppet Christmas Carol Um, um, and that creepy doll from Toy Story 4. Annabelle. Yes. Oh my God. Thank you.

Yes. So, Aaron, you, you, um, probably have some experience with this. But when you, sometimes when you get like an audition, they'll have like sides. they'll have like a character breakdown of like the person that they're looking for, the type that they're looking for for this. And something that people do very often is if there's like a very

hot popular person, they will say like a this type or a that type in the audition. Recently a friend shared with me some audition sites as they got and the audition sides very, we're like it was like a, the thing that they were calling for was a mix between Connor O'Malley and Zach Cherry. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Which is like crazy. That's what they said in the sides, like the description. And I thought, you, Conor Cherry, Zachomalley, somewhere there. But I thought it would be so funny if either Zach Cherry or Conner O'Malley auditioned for that thing. Like, anytime it says that they want a this type, that person, I think, should be legally required to have to audition for that just so that the people could be like, yeah, but not you.

Like, you, but less money. Like, I don't want to pay for you. You but less money. Yeah. This type, but like not obtainable in a way. Yeah. The poor man's part. But non-union.

Yeah, a non-union sex. That's what they should put it there. We want a non-union cotro. I mean for this part. Aaron, do you ever see side stuff like that? I don't audition as much anymore. Yeah. But I...

You're offer only? I'm offer only. No, I just don't love doing on camera stuff, so I just don't do it. But I, in my 20s, would be like a lot of like, because I had long black hair. It would be a lot of like Zoe D. Chanel type. Like awkward girl next door, which was brutal. And then you'd show up at an audition and everyone would look exactly like me. Everyone has a little ukulele.

Yeah. Like sort of sunken owl eyes. There's mean a lot of owls with bangs in Chicago going out for the same commercials. Owls with bangs. It is like a three-week period when you're a woman in your 20s that you are like going out for like young, cool girl at the bar stuff to like old crone. The mother of a crone. Like, kooky teacher. You're too old to play a crone, but you could play a crone's grandma.

You know what? Honored. Honored to be an old grandma. Well, I think we need to put this to the test. I do need to see a scene. You said, what was it? Old grandma, cold grandma? Old and cold grandma.

Okay, so, Aaron, this is you being an old cold grandma. And JPC, you are sort of a Lou Diamond Phillips, Benjamin, Brett, Jimmy Smith's type. Yes. And you need to get this grandma off Andor before Andor explodes. Wait, Andor's a planet, right? It's a person. But he's a planet, right? Yes.

Okay, I got to get her off Andor before he explodes. Jesus, would it kill you to turn the heat on? What, are you trying to save your money? God. I'm not trying to save anyone. I'm just trying to save this man who if you don't get off him, he's going to explode. This is not a man.

This is a heating pad. I know he feels warm, but that's because he's a living person generating body heat. I'll take what I can get. You know, my son said he was going to come over here with a space heater, and he hasn't come over here at all. We live in space. You don't have to say space heater. Every heater that we see, every heater on Khorasaw is a space heater.

You know what I'm saying? All right. Well, all of a sudden he went to Tatooine to chase a girl. I think he's being scammed. I don't think the girl's real. I said, ask her how many moons you can see from Tatouine. Man, what? Get off of Andor, okay?

No. If he dies, we don't have a third season. Number one, he's handsome. You ever see Etou Mamma Tambien? I have seen it. He's so good in it. He's very handsome. He's warm.

He's not a large man. He's a tiny man. He's warm. I'm on him. If you kill Diego Luna. What happens if Andor dies? Do you think he's going to stay warm? Scars Guard will take over.

I don't care. This is no concern of mine. Okay. And I do want a hard pivot into the new movie R2-E2-Mama-Tambian. No. See? No. Come on.

Oh, come on. Come on. Oh, come on. He got R2-E2-Mama tempe. He got R2-E2-Mabian. That's all we need to do. He got it out. We let him say...

I guess he doesn't like to have fun anymore. You don't let Adel cook anymore. You don't let him cook the way he used to. Let him cook. All right, Erin. Let's see it. Let's see it. I don't want to do that.

Yeah, I don't have anything. Yeah, we don't have anything for it, but let him cook. Earlier today, I went to my annual skin. screening, which is when they project a movie on your skin. Today, I chose the water boy. But as they were doing the skin screening and then as I was like leaving, one of the people who was still in the room that never introduced themselves handed me like a piece of paper about like sunscreen that had like sunscreen tips on it. And I was like, they gave it to me and I was like, thanks, but I'm 37. If I don't, if I haven't been doing this,

at this point, you shouldn't be giving me this. This feels like a long list of like, here's what you missed. Like, if you didn't do this, you're kind of fucked. Nothing you could do about it now, but, uh... I've heard the Boz Lerman song. I assume that's enough. Well, songs may be a strong term. Yes.

It's mostly just him talking. Yeah, but what a voice. No, no, it's never too late, JPC. You're probably going to live another six, seven months. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To be clear, I have been using sunscreen, but it's also very funny to be like, have you never heard of sunscreen?

Have this list? Like, oh, SPF. Interesting. Interesting. Speaking of SPF, so puzzles, fuckers. Let's do some. I love it. I hope we're not doing SPF 50, which is what they recommend.

50 puzzles. That's a lot of puzzles. Well, let's do some warmups here. This is what I like to. call triples as best. I'm going to say three things you have to tell me what they all have in common. Got it.

Van Halen, the monsters, Norbit. They're all words. They're all words. You got it. They're all words. Next up. Peach, strawberry, blueberry.

Words. All words. Fruit. Yep. Van Halen, the monsters, Norbit. These are all flops. All right.

So Norbit was Eddie Murphy playing multiple characters. Van Halen had multiple lead singers. Eddie Munster was played by two different people. Okay. JBC kind of said the answer. They're all recast. They all have been multiple.

So think of like the big guitarist for Van Halen. Change guitaring forever. Change guitaring. Slash. That's Guns and Roses, my boy. Fuck. Which one was Sam Bhaegar? He was a singer.

You set it for the Munsters, and you set it for Norbert. Multiple people? More specific. More specific. Not just people, but specifically... The same person doing two parts. No. Even hyper-specific.

What person? Eddie Murphy. Eddie. Eddies. Famous Eddies. They all have Eddies. Eddie Van Halen, Eddie Munster. Eddie Monster.

Eddie Morphy. Okay. Okay. Famous Eddies. That's so much easier than where I was going way too complicated with it. How about St. Louis McDonald's feet? They all have arches. They all have arches.

Oh. Race car. Look at my pervert list. Aaron. His pervert bingo. Race car kayak, yo banana boy. Race car. Kayak.

Oh, they all have fiberglass bodies. Yo banana boy Day bow bow Oh yeah Race car Kayack and yo banana boy Aaron do you know what yo banana boy is I have no idea what that is

Is that a brand or is that a slogan Yo banana boy I'd say neither It's a phrase that fits the pattern Race car kayak Oh, it's palindromes. These are all palindromes. I do want to see a scene.

Yo, banana boy. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are new to a high school. You made the mistake of packing a big bunch of bananas for your lunch. Aaron, you are the school bully who has taken note that this kid, the new kid, has brought only bananas for lunch. Yo, everybody, look, check out banana boy. Oh, yeah. Banana Boy. Oh, Banana Boy.

I took the liberty of Googling you, Banana Boy. That was your first mistake. Nothing to see here. Real boy. Eat real ludge. I don't think so. Human boy. I don't think so.

Not, no jungle. Human boy. I don't think so, Banana Boy. It says here they found you in the... The middle of the jungle. No, no, no, no. Two explorers found you. They adopted you, and they brought you back to here.

Illinois. No, those, that were, my parents. I from jungle. Oh, yeah? No, wait, we were, I from Connecticut. Connecticut. Go whalers. Hey, um, Johnny?

I need to see you after class. I have good news and bad news. The good news is you passed the quiz. Oh, right. The bad news is you did it with your feet, and technically I can't give you a grade on that. So you are going to fail the test for doing... Can I get incomplete?

No. I think... Sorry, I'm listening, but this is going to bug me. Can I pick? Bug out of hair. Out of my hair or your hair? Dealer's joints. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Hey, honey, how was your first day? Did you panic and do a voice? Yeah, I did a voice. I did a voice the whole time. You packed me all bananas, mom. What was I supposed to do? Wait, you didn't write with your feet. Why are your shoes off? The bullies took my shoes almost immediately.

Oh, my God. All right. Well, we're going to... I told you, tape them on. We're going to have to change schools again. See? That's awesome. Ah, yes.

Oh, this is a good one. There was a, it's probably come out and I completely missed me, but there was a trailer that I saw several times when I was seeing 40X movies for a movie where the central conceit was that like, it's like a horror movie where like a family adopted a chimpanzee. And then the chimpanzee like goes crazy and like starts killing them like in their house. and the whole time I'm watching this, I'm like, that's just what would happen if you brought a chimpanzee to your house.

They're wild. They're not a domesticated animal and they're freaky strong. Like, what the fuck is anyone thinking? That's like Jaws where I'm like, it's not really a horror film. I mean, the shark's just doing its thing. Get the fuck out of there.

Get out of the fucking water. Get out of it. It's like Jaws if you brought Jaws to your house. You're like, yeah, we have a pool shark. It's like a shark in our pool. It's fine. They're part of the family. Shark, what are you doing?

I'm just doing my thing. It's like it's a horror movie. A family goes on safari and a lion eats them. And it's like, well, what were they doing? Yeah. Were they roaming the Savannah? Were they in the lion's house? Yeah.

Was this primate? Was that the movie? Hey, it sounds right. Is that the name of the movie? Does that? I think so. I'll tell you this. Maybe you saw that trailer three times in theaters and never once did I, like, did the name of the movie stick out to me?

They could have flashed the title card at the end And it was like, this piece of shit And I would be like, I think that movie's called This Piece of Shit Sorry if you're a listener and you were in primate or whatever Hey, but also congratulations You gotta do what you gotta do, you know, make a little money Now my big thing is anything that's as strong as 10 of me

Yes I don't want to put pants or a shirt on What about an ant? Yeah, yeah So you're just to telling me you don't want to see Woody Allen's ants? Did they wear pants and shirts and...

I don't know. I guess we all have to watch Woody Allen's ants now. Review crew coming up just to be... No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no.

No, no, no. No, no. No. Let's do two more. Yeah. This, and this is a great one. Frozen in time in Times Square.

Above the below, over the Thames River, drowned alive in Lincoln Center. And this is a great one. Drown alive in Lincoln Center. Frozen in time, in Times Square, above the below, over the Thames River, drowned alive in Lincoln Center. Oh, boy. Are these, this feels like, is the answer in any way movies related? Are like movies part of this? Not movies, but it is performance related.

Okay. Oh, is this magician related? JPC. Yeah. Blazing hot. Is it, okay, David Blaine? These are all David Blaine stunts. Remember David Blaine?

Yeah. I want to see a scene. Adel, you are David Blaine's, like, biggest rival. And JPC, you're his assistant, and you guys are trying to figure out. a pitch to sort of get on his level and get as much attention as him. Got it. Okay, I guess it just sucks first that my name is David Dane because there's so much confusion.

But you're older than him. I'm older and slightly more anemic. Yeah. And tired. Okay. Well, do you want to change it? I could get the court, you know, the paperwork started to change it or, why don't we do this?

Let's not worry about your name, David. Why don't we just worry about, like, the illusions? Because that's where you're going to beat him. That's where you're going to beat David Blaine. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe, because he buried himself alive for, like, two weeks. So maybe I bury myself dead.

Okay. Yeah. There's no bad ideas in brainstorming. All right. Burry dead on the board. What about this? David Blaine's never done anything with a volcano. Would you, is there something maybe in the realm of volcano?

know, where you could do, like, dipping yourself in or, like, dipping a toe in. Yeah. Yeah, maybe I dip my feet in a volcano. And that's magic. I'll lose my feet. Huh. Okay. Well, hey, no bad ideas.

All right. Lose your feet. Because he doesn't really, because he kind of suspends himself in a box in the air for, like, 30 days. This is not really magic. This is my fault for brainstorming. Yes. Let's not think of ways that you can. kill or maim yourself, which we could do that later.

If we decide that that's the best career path for you, let's think of purely of what you could do magic trick-wise. I have a grande hot milk for a Bavid. That can't be right. Did I write this wrong? I'm sorry, I'll take care of this, Bavit. I'm sorry, that's supposed to be kid temp. It's not supposed to be hot.

It's supposed to be warm. It's supposed to be kid-timp. Okay, but it's for a grown-up? Yeah, but you can order kid-timp. It's not like a happy meal. It's the same price. It is like a happy meal. It's like a happy meal.

It comes with a toy. Yeah, you have to prove that you're a kid. Yeah, and it comes with a toy. Prove you're a kid? Yeah, if you want a kid. David, you could do this. Okay, David Blaine could never prove that he's a kid. You could prove that you're a kid.

That could be your trick. Whoa, I'm going to turn back time and become a kid. Watch this. But my girlfriend, you can't do that in me. I own up apples. It's going to be very mad at me. Okay, here we go. Bam, watch this.

Just walking up my sleeves. You cannot do this in here. You cannot do this in here. Move some of these chairs. Put some tables back. Push some tables back. You cannot do that in here. Give him space.

You cannot do that in here. Give him space. You cannot do that in here. Sir, put your pants back on. It's okay. I'm three. Three-year-olds don't have to wear pants, ma'am. You got to get out of here.

David, you got to go. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes a lot of sense for us. What happened to David Blaine? He's still around, isn't he? Was David Blaine in the Pussy Pussy? Am I misremembering this? He was with Toby McGuire, Ethan Supley,

Leonardo DiCaprio, Lucas Haas. Is there one instance, one instance of a famous magician being like a good guy? Or is every famous magician, like, also just kind of a complete psychopath? I want to say Pend Gillette.

is maybe the only one because yeah a lot of them are it takes a certain persona to like be a magician and that persona just happens to be like piece of shit and I'm talking like the like the crem de la cremse sounds rude for any any

like household names yeah household name magicians yeah I'm like yeah the person you're David Copperfield I remember once I went to when I was a kid kid We had family that lived in Vegas, and we went to Vegas, and we saw a magic show. Lance Burton?

It was Lance Burton. I saw Lance Burton in Vegas as a kid. It was, and Lance Burton is like one of those, like, still, you know, a careerist, a working magician, a big name in magic, probably, probably one of, like, top 10. But is also just, like, B-tier. Like, he's not quite, like, the headliner magician. Yeah. Maybe there's a chance that Lance Burton's a good guy. Maybe there's a chance.

If anyone's going to pull it off, it's him. Let's do one more of these triples as best. Let's see. What if David Copperfield did a show and he was like, for my next trick, I will make my reputation disappear. Here's the last one. Movie ready for showing. Yeah. Oscar the Grouch and Prisoner.

Movie ready for showing Oscar the Grouch, prisoner. It's an arcane. It's in the can. They're in the can. They're in the can. They're in the can. I'd like to see a scene. Yes. I'm going to be your boss and you guys are going to be garbage men and we're trying to cover up sort of an inevitable scandal that's about to happen. All right, guys, obviously we don't want it to be traced back to you that you are the two that threw Oscar the grouch and to the... I didn't know. I know and I know and I know you didn't know and I believe you, right? I thought I heard screaming and then it was just like green like ooze. I guess it says blood.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Can we get in trouble for anything that we say in here or is this? No, this is we're going to bring in lawyers that are. I knew. I knew what we would do. Hey, man, don't say that to me. I'm going to have to disclose that to the lawyers.

What? I thought this was, I thought this was what you were. I thought you were going to talk about like the emotion of how traumatizing this has been. What do you mean you knew? What do you mean you knew? I saw something getting into the can, okay? But here's the thing. I thought he never left the can.

So when I saw something climbing into it, I didn't necessarily know it was him. She shouldn't have been out of it, right? If that's the case, that could be a defense, right? No. You're definitely going down for this. We thought he was a raccoon? No, no.

Can we say that? You guys have been using that excuse for a really long time. If you hadn't used it so many times. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I will say, and honest to God, when I stabbed Cookie Monster in the throat. I know.

I thought, because he was eating cookies, but they kept falling out of his mouth. So I thought he needed a tracheotomy. Yep. And I had seen it done. And I just stabbed him in the throat. Yeah, with a pen. Yeah, I, he. Yeah, but you're not a doctor, huh?

If I'm going down. No. If I'm going down, then I got some stuff that I have to say. the potluck last week, those chicken wings, that was Big Bird. Everybody was raving about the chicken wings. What is happening in this department that we have so much Muppet Fluff on our hands? You know, I gave you guys a chance. Our route is Sesame Street.

I know. If you put people on a route, they'll do their job. I put my two most whimsical garbage men on that route thinking the worst that could happen is you guys are on camera and someone's going to ask you what the letter of the day is. And you go like, gee, for garbage men. Or like they show, they do like a segment of showing you do your route. That would have been amazing. That would have been amazing.

But I'll say last week, there was a guy who was kind of far away and I was kind of squinted. And I was like, who is this dude? And then he ran up on me. This guy was far away and then they got right up close to me. And I had to break his neck. That is a classic. Oh my God. Okay.

Here is a list of the following Muppets that have been killed on your watch. Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, the Count Abby Cadabby. Grover, Rosita, Mr. Snuffleupagus, Burt, Ernie.

No, hey, don't put that on us. That was a murder suicide. You were there. We murdered Bert, and then Ernie killed himself.

Yes, I remember. Mr. Noodle, Baby Bear. See, see, see, see. I guess, yeah. Did they ever have Garbage Men on Sesame Street?

It wasn't the whole conceit of Sesame Street that they would interact with like humans from the real world who did like jobs like municipal jobs yeah there was Gordon mr. in celebrities but did they have garbage did they have a garbage man ever I guess maybe not because Oscar the Grouch lives in a garbage can so you wouldn't want to introduce like someone whose whole job is to like displace you know um the houseless Oscar the Grouch right there's Bruno the Trash man that actually describes his character oh yeah and he's holding

Oscar the Grouch up do we ever see Oscar's legs No. Dick? Pubes? If you don't see the ladies, you probably don't see the two. I guess Muppets are mostly pubes. Forget it. Forget I said anything ever.

Forget I said anything ever. No one will be able to see it, but when Adelson and Muppets are mostly pubes, he immediately flinched. Like, he shouldn't have said it. The Internet's forever. The Internet's forever. Let's do another riddle or a break. Well, yeah, it's not forever, but it's just for now. A break.

So, Aaron, what do you think of my new hair? Before you ask, before you ask, yes, I did pull every piece of hair from my head because I was so stressed out about business finances. Yeah, buddy, that looks stressful. I love my new JPC wig. Thank you for this. And the best part, it was super painful to do because I used. used my hands and fingers. Wow. Should he use Found. Right, Aaron? Should he use Found. Found. You should have used Found.

You should have saved you from all this stress. Oh, I should have used Found. Found makes it easy for small business owners to put all of their finances in one place. Instead of a bank account here, QuickBooks There, Tax, Invoicing apps stacked on top. Instead, I should have just used Found. Found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky outdated apps. Why did I not use found? And that's the thing, JPC is they've made it so easy. They've even automated things like tracking expenses, finding writeoffs and budgeting for tax time. You can even send your invoices for free and pay your contractors, everything all from one app. They make it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can come back to doing what you love JPC, like making wigs. Well, I am going to be doing a lot of making wigs now because I'm going to have to open up a new small business line that's so.

GPC hair wigs and people would buy them. So I can't even joke about making them because people would buy them. But I will use found and I will not stress out about having to use multiple different platforms to do everything that I need to do to run our business.

We use found and I think that you should too. So take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fowundd.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank. member FDIC. Join the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with Found. Oh, Aaron, look, the hair's in the shape of a backwards hat. I'm JPC. Look, I'm JPM.

Whoa, I love it. I wish I had my hair back. Smells awful, though. Come on. Ah, okay. Well, let me just do my final measurements here. Everything seems even. Check the doors. Adel, Aaron. Hmm? I have using my skills to say, you. woodworker have crafted a well-built wardrobe.

A magical one where you can go into a magical world? No, I try to. It's just wood. But it's well-built. GPC, when we said every adult should have sort of a well-built wardrobe, we didn't mean like the actual frame, like an actual wooden wardrobe. We went like in a quince way, like, you know, like having a lot of adult well-made. Like quality clothing that lasts. quality pieces that work together, they hold up over time.

You know, that's what Quince does best. We told you that. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. I have a raincoat from them that I love. GBC, I held you down sort of clockwork orange style and held open your eyes. I showed you that Quince's premium materials, thoughtful design and everyday staples feel easy to wear and they're easy to rely on, even as the weather shifts in Chicago. This is making sense now, because I was like, you were talking about how Quince works directly with top factories and cuts up the middleman so you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. That's what you said.

That's what you were doing with my eyes. And can I be honest with you? I did not build that well of a wardrobe. I mean, this thing is pretty loose. No, it's pretty loose. You can knock it over with a feather. Oh, a nail just went right through my thumb. That's the best case scenario.

They only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I love their home stuff. I love their clothes. I can always count on them for the best quality. So don't be like that absolute fool JPC. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't be foolish like JPC. Right now, go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping in 365-day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it.

And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle for free shipping and 360. 65 day returns. Quince.com slash riddle, R-I-D-L-E. Quince, quince, quince. My name is Mr. Tumnus. Please come with me.

I'm going. He came with the thing. I found him on Fiverr. Aaron is J-PC. If you could voice a Muppet, what would you want to have? What would be the name? What would be their sort of like, schstick?

We talk about Muppets. on this show so much. Santa and Muppets. Santa and Muppets come up so much. It's awesome. Why are we complaining? But besides the Muppet thing that I think we had to watch for review crew, I have not, I've not seen any Muppet property.

I've never seen like a Muppet movie. I've never watched the show. You watched the Great Muppet Caper though? No. Is that what we did for review crew? Oh, we should. Is that the one that we watched? The Muppet Show Moment Chance.

No, we watched a movie. For review crew, we definitely watched like a, we watched moment's chance. I know that much, but we also watched like a full-length Muppet movie at one point. It was probably like

early, early on. Muppet's like Muppet Caper. That's my favorite movie and I would have probably done that for like a birthday or something. It was probably Muppet Caper if it was like an errand pick

of something. But I definitely remember that because I was watching it and I had no connection to any of those. What I'll say is for something that I have, I think I've done a pretty good job

rolling with the punches for as much as we talk about Muppets. Santa, I'm familiar with. I know who Santa is. You know what? This is us balancing the scales. Adel and I like to have fun.

You have to pay the Piper eventually for your crimes against this podcast. I, at Sketchfest, very luckily, very miraculously got to meet Brian Henson, who really is my hero. And I was very nervous. And I panicked. And I said, the only thing left on my bucket list is I want to talk. to a Muppet and I want it to be not on camera and he went okay and I went I mean I wanted to happen organically like at an airport and that was the interaction and it was awful and I still love him

forever don't say wolf Casey that's Rolf that's Rolf saying you I that you know what he had an organic Aaron Keefe experience and I got to tell him how much I love the Muppets and how much they mean to me so at the end of the day we're all going to be Fine. Was there any, did it feel like he thought you wanted him to like produce a Muppet out of his back pocket kind of thing? No, I just was being honest. I think he was just like, who was this lunatic? How much longer do I have to talk to her? So. I thought it would be like if I met Ray Park and I was like, you know what would be so cool as if Darth Ball was here? And then I kind of leaned in. I'm like, is there? I'd have felt that way for now. Meeting Ray Park and be like, Misa, I really want to talk to.

What happens when I pulled you tip by lightning? Same thing happens than anything else? Absolutely stellar tint out of the great line. Lovely line. I don't ever really stick to landing when meeting someone I really admire. So this is an old hat for me. Erin, I just looked up what Brian Hinson looks like. And I can be, I can't tell you for sure that I've never met this person.

because if I have, I definitely didn't register it. I could, this is like a person I could talk to you for like 20 minutes. And then at the end of it, someone was like, hey, that's, that guy was the adventure of the Muppets or whatever he did. I actually don't know what he did. He's been, that's what he did. He took over for him. And he took over for him. And great job.

Yes. Speaking of Muppets and great lines, 10 out of 10 lines, in Top Gun Maverick. Tom Cruise, who's basically a Muppet. He's basically a Muppet, has a line that I think is pretty incredible, which is, um, anytime he's about to like do something cool,

somebody would be like, I don't like that look. I don't like that look you're giving me. And Tom Cruise goes, it's the only one I got. And I think that's, I think that's pretty cool. And I don't know of anybody else who's doing it at his age

and raking in a billion dollars. I think he, I think the movie industry died. with him. I think this can apply here. JPC, why do you only play characters like Santa Claus or characters that have brain damage? Takes off my sunglasses, looks at Aaron. Time cruises a Muppet.

Nope, that's not what I wanted you to... Eyes fall out. Interesting. JPC tries to pick him up and kicks them into a sewer rate. Well, let's do some more riddles. Yes. No. Oh, interesting.

No. Okay. Aaron, what do you want to do? Aaron, for the next half hour, or more realistically, 22 minutes or so, we do whatever Aaron wants to do. Whatever my friend Aaron wants to do, that's what we do. I want to shave both your beards. Yikes.

And then I want to go to Hungry Hallies. The place he did a commercial for? Yeah. I want Hungry Howie. I'm showing up to Hungry Howies with no beards and they're like, you two, out of here. No hungry hally. Howie's for a couple of beardless saps.

That was my plan all along. This is the last time you'll cross. Aaron Keith. Aaron, will you be 100% honest with me? Yeah. No fooling around. Totally honest? 100% honest.

For sure. Do you ever still go to hungry howies and sort of expectantly give a look of like, just hoping so? You must remember me, huh? Please, I don't want to take. a picture because if I take a picture with you and I'll take a person with everybody. Yeah, I do.

I do do that. I actually have not been in a hungry howie's, but I have ordered from them since they don't have them in L.A. or do they have Fisner, oh, okay, never mind. They don't fully don't have them here in Chicago, right? I don't think so. No, they are in. They're like subs, pizza? It's pizza mostly, I think.

It's pizza and it's national. It's just in not in this city, I believe. I think it's like in eight different states. It's very random. I think they have them in like Indiana though, because I remember at Purdue going to ordering from them when I was visiting Purdue for a while. But I don't think they had them in Indianapolis. It doesn't matter. Hungary Howie is this one of those like I would say it's not like a top tier pizza chain.

Oh, it's so good. It's so good. It is actually incredible. Do you guys have any Happy Joe's? No. Who's Happy Joe? Aaron? He's a man who loves pizza.

Aw. When I went to high school in Kiwani, Illinois, we had a Happy Joe's, and they had Taco Pizza, which was surprisingly fucking delicious. That sounds fun. You had a two-minute mics and a Happy Joe's? Two-minute bikes was Neponset. Now, DePonset, of course, neighboring city, but that was a city of like 250 people. Kiwani was 13,000.

I remember I was hanging out with friends for a birthday party, and they were like, let's order a pizza and we tried to order pizza from this place and they were like, we're out of dough and we're like, what? And so we ordered, we decided to order Little Caesar's pizza. And it's been, pizza. Pizza pizza. It's been so long since I ate Little Caesar's pizza. And there was like eight or nine people. We ordered a bunch of pizza and they were like, yeah, it's like $50. And we're like, what? We ordered a hundred pizzas. It's only $50. Little Caesar's rules. What the fuck? This place is awesome. And then we all ate the pizza. We were like, oh. Yeah, this is. why this is why this was $50.

Now, because it kind of feels like a wetboard. This fucking sucks because I've tried to block this out. I haven't eaten Little Caesar since the last time I had it, I ordered it for the lost finale, which must have been, I don't know, 2007. Yeah. And I got crazy bread with a side of marinera. I ate, let's call it, six sticks of crazy bread or whatever. Yep. Dip to the marinera.

And then I dipped a seventh. and something was amiss. There was something not welcome in the Marinara. No, no, no, no, no, no. I then just sort of tip my fingers in and pulled out what can only be described as a hairball.

It was a glob of human hair in ball form. Not a strand, not a thread, a ball of hair. They don't have cup? They don't have like sealed cup marinera? Was it just like a plastic lid? This was in a foam cup

with a white lid. But it was like a big, it was like a big, a big, a big, a big, a big, a big, a big,

a big, a big, a big, a big, scrimp to scream and, I scrimped a scream, and I scrimped to scream,

the screams gone by. Tried to make myself threw up, couldn't do it. All while telling my friends, please pause the finale of lost.

All right, Aaron, it's over. And I, I haven't touched Little Caesar since. It was the most disgusting fucking day.

of my life. I tried recently was Bojangles. I had never had it. What's Bojangles? The fast food restaurant. Is it chicken? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like a chicken chain?

Maybe the best fast food I've ever had in my life. As good as Culver's. Like, I loved it. I was on the East Coast with Riley's family for Christmas, and they're huge Bojangles fans. And I was like, why do they keep talking about this? Like, why is this a must go? And now I understand. Have either of you ever been to Jollybee?

No. That's the Korean or Filipino? I think it's Filipino. It's like chicken and spaghetti. People love it. People love it. But there is one in Illinois, and it's by like the emission testing place

where you have to go to like get your car emission tested. And I was there one time and I was getting my car emission tested and I was like, I've never been to a Jollybee. I'll just go to the Jollybee. And I went to the drive-thru and I looked at the video. And I was like, there is truly nothing that I, a vegetarian, which is honestly, like, if I go to McDonald's, I can't eat anything

there. But there was nothing for vegetarians to eat there. And I was like, they were like, what will it be? And it's the only time really in my life I've ever done this. Because most places I just wouldn't go because I know what Burger King's menu is or whatever. Right. So I sat there and I looked at the whole menu. And then I was like, I'll ask. And I was like, hey, do you have anything that like vegetarians can eat at Jollybee? And the person was like, we could give you the spaghetti without the sauce. And I said, no. I don't want that. And so I just like pulled out from the drive-thru and left.

And I don't think I've, I think it's the one time in my life I've ever just like pulled out of a drive-thru and left. Wow. But people love Jollyby, but it's like chicken and meat spaghetti and I can't eat it. I'm glad that you asked though, you just didn't look like a crazy person that pulled up and then it was like, eh. But it's also, it also kind of made me feel like, yeah, I'm just going to a fast food restaurant and being like, hey, does the chef have anything off menu that I could, order. Just a secret menu. What does a chef whip up for someone with my dietary restriction?

Just like surprise. Like the opposite of animal style. Aaron, I know you're a wings fan. Have you ever had Bon Chon? No. Bon Chon is a... You're saying it real fun. Bon Chon.

B-O-N-C-H-O-N is, I believe, a chain. I don't know where else they are, but there's one in the suburbs. And I've ordered it several times. and it's maybe my favorite wings going. Exclusively a suburban wing chain. Oh, cool. Okay. They do not allow them in city limits.

All right. Honey, I got a job at bonchon. On bon chon. A bon chon. Abon chon. Abonchon. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, abon chon. Abon chon. Let's do another riddle. We have to. Sorry, Aaron. We have to. Yes. I can talk more about the hair I found in Little Seasier hair.

Oh, do that. I didn't have time to throw my headphones off. Aaron, I think you just found your Muppet. If you say something gross, say 3-2-1, so I have time to toss my headphones. Please thank you. Thank you very much. Good night and good luck. George Clooney.

And I'll see you later. three two one sex shroll Aaron threw her head so hard She hit her mic This is this is my Golden Opportunity if you ever Aaron to tell me when it's over Hey that's what she said

It's over Aaron it's over Aaron it's over It's over Please put your headphones back on Aaron it's over Three two one peanut butter panties Don't fuck with me today, guys. I'm nauseous and I'm drinking pediolite because I just know I'm going to get the pukes today. So do not mess with me today, motherfuckers.

I do want to see a scene. Adel, it's you and Aaron are a couple. It's your anniversary. You're both at home together and she just got like an anniversary present. and it is a pair of peanut butter panties that she sent to you and you're confused by this. Wait, what made you think of this? Oh, this is what Haddle said.

If we listen to the episode, you'll love it. Okay, great. Sorry, so she got me a pair of peanut butter panties, yeah. Whoa, okay. Oh, it's covered in ants. Hold on, let's just brush those off. No, no, let's just brush these off. Your hands are covered in peanut butter now?

Do you love them? Um, I love you. Yes. I know we talked about maybe trying that thing where you kind of like eat food off each other. And you mentioned something about whipped cream. Yes. And I think whipped cream is gross, but I love peanut butter. Yeah, I think, um, I'm willing to try.

It's just, I just feel stupid because I got you. I got you a... What's this? Let me open it. And you got me... Peanut butter. Yeah, but it's 2017. I think I misread the room. 2017.

Do you grab these from... I mean, Spencer's is the only store I can think of. No, I had these handmade. These are two-year measurements. Okay. An artist did this. Okay. An artist did this.

You gave me a 2017 Jeep Cherokee. which is just only a little bit better than a 2016, huh? Yeah, I guess. And that was 10 years ago. Yeah, but it is the Eddie Bauer. Jeep Cherokee. Let's call it. Our relationship?

Yeah. Well, hold on, hold on. Turn around. Before, let's give it one last hurrah. Turn around. Okay. What are you doing? We cut to the Jeep Grand Cherokee dealership.

Yeah, we can't accept a return on this car. It looks like someone kind of a bunch of peanut butter all over the seat, the driver's seat. Hmm. Huh. Well, it saved a marriage. Tell you that much. Hey, I mean, that's what a Jeep Grand Cherokee is for. It's for saving

marriages. Jeep, Dan, Carrierge do weird sex stuff in the back. We cut, we cut to a recording booth with Aaron's character. Okay, yeah. I think that I got it. Well, yeah, we love what you're doing. I love it. It's Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Really, really an unseat. Because we heard... Keep brand, here's the keys. get into the car. Okay, we don't hate Jeep brand, here's the keys, because that feels like something you would love that.

You'd be excited about us to get the keys. Jeep's in kerosene. The only thing is, if we say kerosene, I think people are going to get confused with what you have to fill them, a Jeep, grade, a chair key. Well, don't say put kerosene in the car. I don't ruin the take.

Crudy Tarentines. Crudet Tarentines. It. S and the seams Put it on the car Jeep Jeep Jeep cheap Looking at my monitor

The sales of Jeep Grid You're just plummeting Sell my stock Trish saw my stock Okay You know what Yeah Why don't we do this

Since it's all Great It's all the same brand Let's just get you saying Dodge Durango Jeep Derego Okay, close enough we can splice that. Jeep, Jeep, Jeep, Jeeps.

She's doing the Nixon fingers. She's doing Nixon fingers. Can you say, I am not a Jeep? Guaranteed. I am not a Jeep. Jeep, Grand Cherokee. I can't do it. When a kid can be as a kid.

A few of those I was actually trying to say it, if you can believe it. Jeep Grand Cherokee, Jeep Grand Cherokee. Jeep Grand Cherokee. I'm not scared back there, y'all. Three, two. One. See what Aaron would do? The delay

of Aaron knocking her headphones off came so far so far after the empty space you left after three, two, one that there was no chance of something gross being said. I'm trying to think if I've had any gross experiences lately

that I can close Aaron out with. I don't think I have. Then don't. Then I don't think I have, Aaron. I think I've let a very normal life. Great. Then don't. Great. Let's just be done then. Aaron, question for you. Since you brought it up, have you ever found peanut butter on you and you were not able to explain where it came from?

No, that sounds like me, though. That sounds like something that would happen to me, so I can't get mad at you asking. Like a quarter-sized patch behind your ear or something? No, I do find food on me, but not peanut butter. Peanut butter is not really that much in my rotation. Oh, interesting. It's kind of only in my house. Sometimes I'll remember it. Like I'll go through a peanut butter and apples phase for like three months. But mostly it's here for Lou. What?

Just last night, I was a nasty little dog. And I sliced up some apples. Wow. Got some smooth peanut butter, dump some chocolate chips in the peanut butter. You kiss your mother with that, Mom? Put some honey on the peanut butter and chocolate chips. Obviously, stoned out of my mind. Obviously.

And it was fucking delicious. That's amazing. That's an incredible stone snack. Well done. I have been into lately overnight oats. I'm in my overnight. I'm sewing my wild overnight oats is how I like to call it. But I've been into an overnight oats phase where I like the night before I'll make some. But I put a ton of peanut butter in my overnight oats. I am a big fan of that peanut butter flavor in there. I don't know. I just love peanut butter. Yeah. It is it soaks in during the night. Yeah, and it just like, it makes the whole, it makes all of your oatmeal taste like peanut butter, which is, I just like that taste. Sure. Otherwise, it tastes like oatmeal. And I'm like, because I don't want to put a bunch of like sweeteners in there, but I do want it to taste like something different.

Then just eat something different. No, I like oats. I like the consistency. I like the texture of it. And I like that it's like, it's so quick. Like you make the breakfast the night before and then you just kind of dump it into your bowl and you're good to go. Like it's, it's, you could eat it out of the jar. too. I just, I don't prefer to do that.

Now, are you such a oat aficionado that you can taste the difference between steel cut and plastic cut? Uh, it was steel cut in old fashion? Yes, because it's a texture thing, for sure. Yeah. I'd like to see a scene. You want, well, hold on here. This is important. People need to hear this. Do not use steel cut to make over an oats. You, you absolutely must use old fashion to make over an oats. Whoa. What happens if you do steel cut? It'll just be nasty. It's just, they don't soak in as well.

Yeah. I think you have to like, steel cut needs to be like boiled or whatever, right? Is that the only food that they mentioned the metal that produced it? Um, iron jalapeno. I'd like to see a scene. Ruin my iron. You guys are oats. JPC, your steel cut oats.

Um, Adel, you're old fashioned. And JPC, you think you're kind of big for your britches because you're steel cut. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, let me pull open the door. for you. Call me old-fashioned. That's so funny. You know what I'm going to tell about that? Knife. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm friends with knife. He cuts me.

Oh, never met him? Oh, but you know him by reputation. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, knife cuts me. It's like no big deal. Like we've just kind of been, I guess, kind of as long as I can remember, like we've been together and knife been cutting me, you know. That's like me and um, um, um, uh, fondue pot.

No, not really the same. No, no, no, Fondupont, me, we go way back to the 50s. You're not fondue pot cooked oats. No offense, but you're not. Okay. And if you wear it, it'd be nasty, and you're not. Okay, just trying to make conversation. Oh, don't step in that puddle.

Let me put down my jacket. No, it's okay. I'm still cut. I can walk right over a puddle. It's totally, you know what? Why don't I hail the cab? Because I know that a lot of cabs don't stop for old-fashioned notes. They're really going to stop for steel cut.

Takes one leg, sticks it out of my coat, puts it on the sidewalk. Interesting. Calling a cab, I'm more of a more low. Gets hit by a car. Holy shit. Well, there goes that leg. See. Aaron?

Yes. May I present a riddle? Yeah, let me check. Do you have all of the paperwork filled out? Aaron, I noticed your stalling tactics. Oh, let's see. It's actually a Friday afternoon at four. We stop processing this.

We all kind of want to go home for the day. You'll understand. Maybe come back Monday. Two, one. But sauce. Big old butt sauce. The delay is getting longer and longer for her. And also, Erin, Aaron can't just take the headphones off with her hands.

She has to shake it off like a dog shakes off. I'll take it off with my hands. I'm just going to hit the microphone. Yeah. That's a full plan. All right. What's your riddle, Adel? I'd love to hear it.

Speaking of kerosene in the Greek kempkiriki. Grip kareki. What can explode relatively slowly with no smoke or flames? What can explode relatively slowly with no smoke or flames? Aaron? An argument. Not too far away. Oh, an argument is good.

Like a slow. simmering argument. Explosive diarrhea. 321. 321, Aaron. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I did it in reverse order.

I did it backwards. You can come back. You can come back. I would say family dynamic so far has been the closest. Everything else has been a little bit colder. You said it explodes. Say it again. What can explode relatively slowly with no smoke or flames?

And family dynamic. One of Elon Musk's rockets. Of the answers, this is the closest. No, those burn up pretty quick. Pretty quickly. Explodes slowly. I'm trying to think of like, is the answer some sort of like chemical reaction that happens like really slowly? Like a star exploding or something like that where it's just like it takes a billion years or whatever?

And don't write in. I've got no idea how long it takes a star to explode. It's like an interpersonal thing that isn't, you can't hold it in your hands. You're correcting that you can't hold it in your hands. Because is it a gas or a, like something that's not solid? Music. I guess it is solid. Is it a metaphor?

Is this metaphorical? No. So it's something physical that explodes slowly. Well, it involves physical. physical entities. Is this sex? It involves physical one.

Aaron? No. We get this through sex. This explodes through sex. Guilt. Is it? Shame. Shame.

STIs? What can explode relatively slowly with no smoke or flames. But Aaron, it does require a whole boat load of sex. 321 sex. Uh, The Miracle of Life.

Crobezzarance, absolutely, but over time. What can explode relatively slowly with no smoke or flames? A person. Yes, but... Think of all the people. Think of all the people. No. It explodes.

A population. Population. Exploding a pop... They do describe it as a population explosion. That is something that I've heard before. is smart. I like that riddle. I do want to see that riddle. Four cookies. I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you were being intimate on a date with someone who exploded. JPC, you are a fireman who showed up to the scene. Mind if I smoke? No, yeah. I mean, please, yeah. Are you okay? My whole job is just to make sure that you're fine.

Am I okay? Am I okay? Yeah. This did wonders for my ego. I was having a bit of a dry spell. I was starting to think I didn't have it anymore. But to have him explode and explode. You could be charged for this. I'm just a fireman. I'm, I just want to. Lock me up. Take me away. Take me away. What are you doing later? No offense, lady, but... You want to be like him? No. I Hey, you are a beautiful woman, but I don't feel like dying tonight. Yeah, well, what happens right before you die?

You live. Anyways, I'm going to take off, but here's my number if you want to. Don't get me this. Come on. Don't give me this. You're going to be haunted by what you saw here today. You're going to be tempted to call me. And I think you should. I see, I'm a fire, but I see this pretty regularly. You think I know the risks.

sex? Oh yeah. And it's not always the people that you think. What do you mean? I mean like, you know, you, you're 10 out of 10 smoke show. It's, it's, you know. But it's not always, it's not always, you know, the perfect tins that explode the people with sex. I saw a guy. What? Just his arms explode from a hand shop. One that he was giving? She was, well, yeah, I guess he was masturbating. I saw a guy masturbating. So hard. Let's hear a voicemail theme, Casey. And that can happen, and that can happen, Casey. It can. Hey, it's JPC from Hey, Rodo, Reddle, and you're listening to the normal radio. I will drink a cup of my own piss. Serving a little bit of cunt. Sex with the cousin.

Sex with a horse. This would be better if it was two times as fast in porn. Okay, Sleigh, Mama. I'm not going to a local zoo to get my fucking rocks off. Okay, fuck me up, mama. Do not That On me

Un Miss play suck Could kind of End me I am so sick of this Shit That just made me So nostalgic for you

That music did a lot Of heavy Listening Ari I think you called me out On it once before In a Gumshus and Dragons

recording But I do talk about That five For fighting song Way too much We talk about it Like It comes up

That's your Muppets is that five for fighting song. That one five for fighting song that I know comes up a lot. Well, that was another one from Jade Seifer. Happy Jade Seifer Month on the podcast. Thank you so much for submitting that if you want to submit a voicemail song. And it doesn't apparently have to do anything with our voicemail. Just 30 seconds or less to H.R.R. Podcast at gmail.com.

Hey, glue crew. I'm just calling from the water factory. doing the overnight shift. Getting a little sleepy here. How do you all stay awake when you need to, but your body don't and coffee don't work no more? Thanks in advance. Bye.

Did you say the water factory? That's what it sounded like. Now, here's the thing. I used to work at the Chicago water plant, but I never heard it referred to as a water factory. When people use the word factory, it makes me think it's like slang. Like, yeah, I work at the old like, you know, a computer factory, you know, and it's like it means you have like a, you know, computer job, right? Like, factory, factory feels like an informal way to say the thing that you, but.

But if it's literal, I think of like do do do do do, do, like assembly line like, da da da da da da, d, like stamping, stamping. I mean, if you think about it, like those aquafina bottles got to come from somewhere. This person maybe just works at the water factory. Please call back and answer our questions. This is a mystery I need solved. What do you mean water factory? And if possible, I would love some water factory swag. Just wearing a hat that says water factory on it.

What do you guys do? Do you guys have tricks to stay up when you need to? They said when caffeine don't work, I got to tell you, coffee works for me. But if I had to do something without coffee, I don't know what I would do. I know a lot of people chew that like alert gum, like nicotine gum to make your brain sharp. Ugh. Um, don't, when caffeine doesn't work anymore, drinking a ton of water.

Electrolites, a little piece of candy in your pocket. You can't sleep if you have to pee. That's science. Mm-hmm. Find out someone's cheating on you. Every time I found that out, I'm wired. Yeah. Every time, Aaron, I'm so sorry.

Oh. You have to. You have to do something to get your adrenaline up. So, like, if you're, like, falling asleep but you need to stay awake, like, pick a fight with someone way bigger than you, you know? Yeah, adrenaline. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Watch only Ross scenes from Friends.

Because he has so much energy. Right? In all his scenes, he's practically screaming in every scene he's in. Yeah, the Rosset. Petit. I think we just gave a lot of really good advice. Yeah. Yeah.

We see in the news in a couple of weeks, water factory shuts down because water inspector falls asleep at the job. He was on a break. Well, thank you so much for the voicemail. You can always send us a voicemail at keepcaphabiki.com. It's like something, something riddle one. It's in the episode of description. Plugs, anything to plug everybody? What do we got?

I got nothing. Okay. Water. I got a review to read. This one comes from Zarka, like Sirka? Zarka, maybe? It says I love

this podcast. Oh, boy. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Yeah, five stars, here we go. They've got Allen Wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractures, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires,

BB pellets, rubber balance, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvers, masking, tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping junior cable, jumper cables, hooks and tackle grout and spackle, power foggers, spoon in ladles, pesticides and fumigation, high performance, lubrication, metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats,

and bug deflectors, trailer hitch de magnetizers, automatic circumcizers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, dur cells and energizers, soffet panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers. Sorry, JPC. Love the show. Keep it up. Is that from something? Is that from Weird Owl?

I don't know. Hardware store? It's awesome. It's very impressive. If you want JPC to do something like that, read a five-star review, he'll read anything, apparently. Yeah, and if you want to do something or something.

Hot dogs. Hot dogs. You don't even let me say it. I wanted to say it. Hot dogs. Don't stop it. Hot dogs. Three, two, one.

Hot dogs. Hot dogs. Hey, by Apple 4 5. Starring, Aaron Keith, Casey Tony, to the head. Hey, Reddle. Hey, Reddle. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.

We play a game that's kind of not really who wants to be a millionaire. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. S. Hey, Reddle, Reddle, by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month, or start your seven-day free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month. you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.