Hey Riddle Riddle - #399: Tedd-99

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

We do some of Tedd's Animal Punrade riddles and mostly a bunch of animal related scenes. Also we come up with several new characters that we are sure to see for years down the line. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Everyone, thank you so much for joining us. As you know, fast food sales have been plummeting. So what we're going to do at Taco Bell is we are going to be returning to 1986 prices. Oh, hell yeah. So 39-cent burritos and tacos? Burritos and tacos maxed out at 39 cents.

All specialty items are like 89 to 99 cents. Some stuff. Yeah. It costs more to make those items. It sounds like we're going to be losing a lot of money. I understand what we tell people. It hasn't actually cost more to make stuff in 40 years. What?

Yeah, it's just we've, Papa's been hungry, you know, for money, not talking about it. Wouldn't eat the stuff. So we're just like, no, it's, don't worry about it. So we're not doing, we're not just, basically we're not going to have like obscene profits anymore, but we think we're going to capture enough market

with these are crazy low prices that it's all going to even out. The problem is we can't go back to 1986 slogans because... Why? Well... We can't scream run for the border? Yeah, I'm looking at what our slogan was in 1986, and we can't scream run for the border anymore.

That's just, like, dicey nowadays. So we're going to change things up, and we just need new slogans to kind of reflect our new prices. Okay, okay. Okay. Cheap dong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how bells go dong?

Yeah, I know how bells go dong. I also know the dong is a pretty charged word. Okay. Huh? Sir, I thought you'd never ask. Welcome back the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Oh, he's dead. Oh, he's dead.

Um, okay. They're dead. Why don't we get that off the desk? I'll just get a little banker's box and... Oh, no, it's going to turn it to dust. Yeah. Yeah, it's dust. Okay.

Should we say a few words? or chalupa cassidia gordita burrito casarito cinnamon twists I think that's

sufficient I think that's efficient alright I mean there are no bad ideas these haven't been great but they're not bad I think you really that's the one that'd be over the edge

I think you actually just inhaled a little chihuahua does maybe maybe that's what the cinnamon twist just is let's not put that in there Shell out some money Yeah

Oh yeah But it's like But it's less money So like shell out I'll see you in shell Okay Yeah Cheese to meet you

You know I'm in HR I shouldn't be tossing out ideas I'm sorry We actually need you to be here And you shouldn't be tossing out Dong ideas That's the old

Those are the only ones The HR shouldn't be tossing out Okay Sour cream In your jeans for Taco Bell In charge, you want to take that one? Here. Sour cream your jeans for Taco Bell.

I don't see any issues. So what we'll do instead is we'll just disband the company. Is everybody kind of happy with that? No, I love Taco Bell. No, please. I, where else can I be surrounded by deep teal and electric purple? Where else can I watch a guy in Wrigleyville throw up down his shirt while he waits for his food, take his food, and then watch it be getting it outside? They tore that one down.

They put up a night. one now. Oh. It looks like an office building. Oh, a canteen. A canteen. A canina. Uh, okay.

Well, you know what? Instead of that, why don't we do this? Why don't we just do the, make a run for the border? We just keep that one and we all take like a couple million dollar bonuses. Okay. Yeah. To start. That's our appetizer.

Speaking of starting, welcome to Hey, Riddle, Riddle, the podcast about what Taco about slogan was in probably 1988, somewhere. I'm 8 to 94. Miamo, whatever, fine. We're eight years in. We're not about anything anymore. That's Aaron Keefe. I'm John Patrick Cohen.

This Hey, Riddle and Rital. It's the podcast about riddles, featuring improv, featuring... Riddles. Riddles. Featuring Improv. Featuring three guys drinking some coffee. Aaron, you drinking coffee? Nope.

I'm drinking an energy drink because coffee. Sometimes gives me a rash. Ooh. If you guys have a hard time remembering JPC's name, be like my dad and remember it by calling him just playing comedy. That's so smart. I ran into Arnie Parrott this last weekend and he was wearing a t-shirt that I don't remember what it was for, but it said SPC on it. And it was for some other like, you know, thing that he knows or does or whatever. But I was like, that's wild to run into you and you have a shirt that almost says J.P.

on it. Were you mad at him? Did you yell? Met at the shirt. Well... Grabbed the shirt by the shirt and shook it. What if we punished him by making him write a bullshit song? Adel. Sky's the limit. What should we make Arnie do? I write a song called I'm never going to shirt again. Guilty shirt, don't shirt, no sleeves. I'm never going to shirt again.

Okay, I love it. What if it's like, you know the song's like, I love my shirt. I love my shirt My shirt is so comfortably Lovely What do you know this song at all? Is this right? I know the rhythm but I don't know Do you have a shirt that you really love

It's from the 60s I think one that you feel so Groovy in It don't even mind when it starts to fade I'm not even making this up this is real That only makes it nicer still My dad down on Napster But wait It's called I Love My Shirt

But who sings it? A man Okay It sounds kind of It sounds Rafi adjacent Is this like a song for It sounds Raffy adjacent

Is it Is it a song for children It's Donovan Who sings mellow yellow Yes Cool right Uh Yeah

Okay what if we have Arnie Write a song That is an apology to us Oh yes Anything he feels sorry For doing to us as individuals or as a group. Casey, have you ever been cited by Arnie Parrott at any point?

He's typing. Never. That's not helpful. He's a saint. Okay. He might be thinking of somebody else. He said hers a saint. Oops, L-O-L.

All right. I'll be the one to call Arne and tell him that we need a song that is an apology to us that we can insert here. Hey, Casey, just in case Aaron forgets to do this, Let's record a pickup of me saying, I think Aaron forgot to do this. Okay, cool. And I think it should be in the vein of nine-inch nails. Oh, in the vein, nine-inch nails?

This is disgusting content. It's too dark for me. I hate this stuff. Oh, hey, would you guys like a chance to lighten the mood a little bit? Yeah, I thought it was pretty light, but I guess I can go a little higher. Why don't we do a segment? We haven't done a segment in a while. Ooh, is it Paul Ruddell's?

Is it what episode of House have you seen and we have to guess? No, stop guessing my good segments. Is it which dog is associated with which months in a dog calendar? These are real fucking segments you've done, by the way. It's not even a JPC segment. It's actually a segment that Adel invented, but we're going to be playing it today. And it goes a little something like this. Doot do do do do do a penguin with the afro.

Do do do do do a gecko on stilts. A ladybug with a headache. A giraffe with a neck brace. A man bug. Really? Linda, a headache? It's animal parade. Oh, I want a whole eight seasons of a sitcom between ladybug and man bug.

Two and a half bugs? She's a nag. A gnat. Oh, sorry, a gnat. Okay, well, we're actually doing an animal parade because we're doing like someone submitted some riddles that are like quasi. They're animal parade adjacent. And so they're required us to play a little animal parade. But let's see.

I'm going to Google right now some animal stories. Okay, let's see. Here's someone. Coyoga County launches animal crimes prosecution unit. Okay, that's not good. Let's see. Waterline breaks at Laurel Animal Shelter, leaving them without running.

Okay, let's see. That's not good. The story of a cat named Cheese and the toddler who knew best, what do we think? Bingo. There we go. That sounds good. Go back to the one with the dogs not having water.

Okay, so this is from October 29th of 2025 for National Cat Day. Did you know about National Cat Day? I found out on the day and then I didn't want to say anything to my cats because it felt like I missed it. Yeah, yeah. That's always the worst. Let's see. Okay. Okay, the first part of this story is about a cat dying.

Let's going to skip right over that. Even though pets die. I mean, that's kind of part of it. What are you doing? Okay, so it says this national cat day, we're celebrating by sharing the inspiring story of Wake County external communications manager. Alice Avery and her cat, she's. You might think that you'll adopt someday, maybe even the perfect name picked out,

but someday can quickly turn into right now when you have a toddler who loves cats, uh-oh, and already knows the name for your future pet. That's exactly what happened to our own Wake County external communication manager, Alice Avery. I will say that my toddler is currently picking names for animals that are there like alter egos. So right now they have a puppy named Jelly Bean,

a cat named Popsicle, and a chicken named cockadoodle do. And these creatures will show up many times when we are not really in a mood for playing like animal. Like sometimes popsicle will show up when we're trying to take a bath. And I'm like, hey, I'm not going to bathe popsicle. I actually want to, you know, bathe a human at this point. And sometimes cockadoodle do will show up when we're eating dinner.

And I said, well, I actually don't want to feed. When you're eating chicken? Well, they're a vegetarian. So I don't want to feed a vegetarian. I don't want to feed a vegetarian chicken. That's true. I don't want to do that at all. But, uh, at JBC, love your kid.

I'd say two out of three. I'd say there's one glaring swing and a miss in there. Yeah. Are they open to notes? Oh, yeah, of course. That's all they're open to. Feedback. Feedback, yeah.

Maybe do another run at Cogadoodle do. Maybe think of a fun sort of sweet treat. Well, here's the thing. Popsicle and Jelly Bean were names that me and Mariah picked. Cockadiddle do was the first name that they picked. picked and I think that they maybe I think they maybe got confused because cockadoodle do is also like a noise like a rooster makes so hey we're giving it time we're giving it time I have not lost hope in them yet let's see you should show them rockadoodle do the early 90s animated

musical oh what's the what's the rockadoodle that's what isn't isn't there like a rockabilly rooster what's that guy's that's that's rockadoodle do yeah where it's like it's like if elvis was a rooster or something yeah So Alice said that her previous cat passed away. I knew I'd eventually get another cat, but I was waiting for the right time and also to regain some of the sanity after having a baby. The right time came in 2020 during the great potty training adventure with her three-year-old son, Sam. I was desperately trying to potty train him and bribed him with a cat.

Okay. That's crazy. Alice laughed. Spoiler alert, it didn't work. Alice. Alice, honey. Alice. They also say you're like never supposed to bribe when you're doing potty training,

So it's crazy to be like, yeah, okay, they mean like not like a piece of chocolate or whatever. What about a fucking cat? JPC, what's like the modern potty training thinking? Because a decade ago when I was a nanny, it was a lot of M&M bribes. They say nowadays you're not supposed to use like rewards like that because then they're like learning to potty train for like the wrong reason. You're also not supposed to make too big of a deal of it. Like you're not supposed to be like, yay, you went potty in the toilet, you know?

You're kind of trying to normalize it. Like I go potty in the toilet. Mama goes potting in the toilet. You go potty in the toilet. Well, you don't. So that is kind of a hard thing to. I go near. It's near.

In my secret bathroom hole. But nowadays, it's like the, oh, I can't remember what the actual name for it is. But it's like you spent like three days totally naked, like learning the cues of your body. So like you. Burning man? What's that? Burning man? It's Burning man.

for toddlers basically. Like you play fucking like weird trippy music. You have like a barter system. You ride a bicycle in the desert and you kind of like learn that when you start to pee, you're peeing now and you're getting it all over you. And it's pretty effective. My kid picked it up pretty quick. And then there's the other crazy potty training stuff, which is like starting the potty training as soon as they're born and being that's like that one seemed like way more effort. And I was pretty scared by that one. I did not I did not go that route. Um, okay, years earlier, Alice and her husband, both fans of The Wire, had already decided that their future cat would be named cheese after one of the show's characters. Okay, we're obviously over here at Harold O'Don, a huge fan of naming animals after foods. Yeah. I remember bubbles. I don't remember cheese. Okay. I remember when Omar was coming, he would whistle a song that had to do with cheese, right?

I hope I don't get in trouble here, but I got to think that cheese was one of the, of the names of the drug dealers and not one of the names of the cops or the teachers or the dock workers on the wire. That's, I'm going to, I'm going to go for that. Yeah. I don't know who it was. Prespoluski. Season four, obviously the best season. And Presbyluski is a big part of that. We know who cheese wasn't. Cheese wasn't Omar. Cheese wasn't, um, Marlon? Who is? Brother, Mazzone. Yeah, brother Mazzone. Uh, who is the season five bad guy? It's, it's biggest of the name. Marlo. It wasn't Marlowe.

Yes, yes, yes. It wasn't, uh, oh God, that English actor who, uh, played the cop. Little finger or whatever? Oh, no, no, no, not that guy. That guy, was that the mayor, Carcetti? It wasn't Carcetti. Carcetti. Good poll.

Well, anyway, my cat's the name's going to be Carcetti. Um, so when the family visited the Wake County Animal Shelter and spotted an orange tabby, uh, Sam didn't hesitate. That's her. That's my cheese, he declared. And just like that cheese found her home. from that moment on for the past five years, cheese has been Sam's best friend and buddy.

They've grown up together side by side. That, I gotta say, pretty adorable. Oh, JBC, in the comments for this episode, someone just said, Car Kitty was right there. Car Kitty, Car Kitty. Damn, we missed it. She. I missed it.

That guy just died. And Rested Power King. Do a real one. I did like that character. Anyway, so that's our animal parade, but it's all that to say it's a lead-in to some listener-submitted riddles that when I was doing taxes this year, I found an envelope that I thought was a tax document, but must have been someone, something that someone handed me in a live show, because it's from Ted, and Ted says, I can use their name. And they wrote these series of riddles, and they're called Animal Pun Raid. Ooh. Because the form of the riddle.

Oh, yeah. This is a Ted 99. That's very... That's very good. That's awesome. Name of the episode's 1099. You won't get it until you start listening. The form is fairly simple.

There's a single sentence that contains two clues. One describes or gives a fact about an animal while the other is a random word and when put together they form a pun. So you'll get it. It's called animal pun raid. Hold on. So we can figure out the animals if we suss it out, but the other one's a random word? No, it's not random. It's a word that just has nothing to do with that animal.

So random is, it's just like a, it's a non-sequitur, but the clue will help you. Okay, so here's your example. Stand up from my seat on the stage, brush off my legs, walk down the seat, go and sit in the audience, smile, lean back, grab some popcorn, wait for Adel to do this completely on his own. Not my skill set, but excited to watch you do this, Adel. Happy for you. Happy for you. This mammal thinks that getting its fur trimmed will stop people from thinking it's a rabbit.

The mammal thinks that getting its fur trimmed will stop people from thinking it's a rabbit. Like a hair? Yeah, a hair. Hair is correct. And how are we supposed to guess the other part? The getting its fur trimmed is the other thing. Hair cut.

You're right. So the pun here is haircut. Nice. So you see how it's all. It's not a random word. It's contained within it. Like it's a haircut haircut. Okay.

So here's some warm-ups. They included some warm-ups. Again, thank you, Ted, for submitting these. Okay. They also said that these are here because the pronunciation of the pun version is too close to the original word, but they're still warm-ups. Okay. This arthropod makes great use of the web while performing SPP. Spider. It is a spider. You got it.

Picker Taylor Soldier Spider. I do want to see if anyone is selling hot dogs or soda. Don't do you wait. Buzzer be a total buzzer beater. Are you doing it on purpose? I mean, I've never seen anyone panic the way you. you just panicked. It's, I was on another tab.

I have a Patreon coming out eventually with, I'll need some other sound bites for, so I was on another tab. But I'm ready. My fingers on the hotline. You didn't sound ready. No, I'm ready. Now I'm ready.

Now I'm ready. I'm ready to be at like a club. And like, you know how DJs are famously known for like these cool transitions. Yeah. Where it's like transition for one song to the other. And it's just,

did it, did it did did did did did did did did did did did did. Hot dogs. Oh, don, don't on don. Hot dogs. I will say, I will say, it's, it's eye-opening how much we talk about hot dogs at the show because of how much use we've gotten out of the hot dog sting. But I also think, I also think that people, Aaron, are really responding to your hot dog gremlin. I think people love this character.

They're incorporating it into their own lives. I think we've really changed kind of the whole culture on hot dogs. First of all, I'm not a gremlin. Just my voice. That's my face, sir. That's my face, sir. No, honestly, I'm honored. I'm honored to be making any sort of cultural impact in any way.

Any sort of... I was trying to think of a song about hot dogs. The only one I can think about is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. So like, Vibh, Vibh, Voo, Voo, Hot dogs. Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog. I do, da, da. You get it. What scene did you want to see?

Oh, okay, I do remember. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you are going to be playing like the IMF or the CIA or whatever, like the shadowy government. And Adel is going to be your best field agent. And you're giving him his new assignment and he's also a spider. Thank you for meeting me here. Don't look directly at me. Of course.

The dove flies at midnight. 23 is the new Upside Down Can we focus on what the task at hand? Sorry, I'm a little hug over. I try to read this poetry. It's good, and you're a good poet, but your country needs you.

Okay. If you go to the National Bank, Dropbox 8 as a... Sorry, where are you looking at? All eight of your eyes are... I just saw a fly got caught my web, and I didn't know if I could, like, grab it or like if that would be rude.

I'm pretty hungry. I'm hungover. Um, yeah, we got a little time. You can grab a fly. No, it seems like what you're doing is really important. You should finish, you should finish your important conversation. Oh, yeah, that fly's been listening the whole time. You got to kill it for sure. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Trust me. What's up, Josh? What's up now, bitch? Fuck. Fuck. Remember when you said my, remember when you said my web couldn't hold cotton candy? Not specifically.

Huh. Stronger than steel now, huh? Smash cut to last night at a bar where he's drunk and he says, your webcam melt jet steel beams. What? Come on, man. 9-11 was an inside voice. See.

Oh, my God. It's true. Hey, it's true. Although, I did want to give you a spy task. I'm sorry that I didn't get to finish it. What would it have been, Erin? It would have been going, getting something out of like one of those boxes at a bank. What are they called?

Oh, safety deposit box? Yes, safety deposit box. And then it would have been about like tying someone up. Okay, Aaron, let me walk you through this. Yep. From behind, you see the camera and you see a giant sort of long coat, black and white checkered, Anne Hathaway hair. I turn around, I put on

big black sunglasses, Ann Hathaway style. Big, big smile, smirk from my lips, big Anne Hathaway lips. I go, excuse me, I need to see safety deposit box number eight, and I drop a pencil I've been down

to pick it up, Anne Hathaway style. Of course. Here's the key. Oh, thank you so much. Sorry about it. I forget my ID, big Anne Hathaway. shimmy to catch your eye. No problem, miss. And the camera pulls back and we see

me as a little spider, sort of Macaulay Culkin in home alone with a ton of web. When he's controlling all those like cardboard cutouts of Jordan and everything. It's me controlling a cardboard cutout of Anna Hathaway. Okay, I

would do another 40 minutes of this. You have the energy. I don't know, if you got the calories for this. I, you know what? It's, they were, I feel like maybe more recently people have done away with it, but there used to be like this like very anti-Anne Hathaway vibe that I just never understood. I think people who like how earnest she was. Yeah.

Yeah, people were like, ugh, theater kid. And it's like, well, yeah, all act, most actors are theater kids. You would say that if you're like a theater kid, but like you work at like a bank or something and you're like, oh, God, theater kid. And all they need to do is like be a teller here. but it's like that's their whole job as actor. They should be a theater kid. This common house pet prattles on and on

about how many birds it kills each year. Cat. Cataracts. It's not, oh, cataracts, Aaron. That's good. It has nothing to do with the clue. I'll go back to the audience. I'll emphasize the clue here.

This common house pet prattles on and on about how many birds. birds at Kelsey Chair. So you got cat part, prattles on and on. Oh, chatty, chatty Kathy. Caddy Chathy. Caddy Chaffee. Catty Chaffee.

Caddy Chaffee. My favorite character. Me meeting Chating Tadam. Oh, catty Chaffee. Fuck. Oh, fuck. I blew it. I blew it.

I love your work and step up. And step up two and step up three. It's up to the streets, 3D. So someone who prattles on and on, but that has like a negative connotation. I guess this kind of has a negative connotation. You would say that that person is very, they're loquacious, they're very...

It's not chatty? No, it's not chatty. Catatonic, very... Burbose. Firmin Bose. Don't worry about the cat part of it. Verboast would be another synonym. a loquacious

loxy uh it's it's a word that ends in a tiv talkative okay put it all together catative

cat talkative yeah talk cat talk cat talk cat tiv shut up shut up talk atop

now I need to see a seat catatot catativ Aaron I want to see a seat And you, Adela and I are going to be like a toy company like CEOs and you're going to be like pitching us a new idea. And you call it, what do you call it? Talk a cat. Talk. You call it.

Cat a talk. I can't know what you said. Cat a talk. Okay. You call it cat a talk. All right. Okay. Big rail.

Okay. So. What if I do. I guess if we're. You know those little. Oh, I got some in my nose. Those little talk things from the 80s What are they called?

Quick, quick, quick, where you're fired. Talk back. Talk boy, talk boy. Yeah, what are those things? Yuck back. Okay, we do surgery. We put it inside your average household kid cat. Wrap it up, call it Christmas.

We're on our way. We're on our way to our first billion boys. Let's go golfing to celebrate. Obviously, I do want to go golfing and I do want to celebrate. And I do enjoy parts of this idea. I just don't know if Mattel is ready for surgery. Mm-hmm. Oh, is it, am I mistaken or was it us that did the surgery game?

Mistaking. What we're buzzes the stomach? Operation? Yes. I think it was Parker Brothers. No. We lost out of that money? Well, I mean, you didn't.

Oh, no, we're poor. What's us? What's us? I think Barbie? I think we have Barbie? Oh, God. That's Hasbro. Okay, well, we've had Dr. Barbies.

So. No, we, off of Barbies. Mattel, Mattel, Mattel. Transformers? Mattel. Do we have Transformers? Hold on. Lisa, check to see if we have transformers.

No, don't tell me what to do. Oh, you name's Lisa as well? I was trying to be the secretary in a different room. See? See. Liar. I didn't want to make you. the secretary. Well, you did by yelling

and making an appealing character to be. Women can be secretaries. Mm-hmm. If they want. If they want. Okay, here's your next one. This bovine finds itself utterly incapable of not running at a red cape. Um, bovine. Bull. Bull. Bull. Bull. Bull. Bull. Utterly incapable. Cow bull. Coward. Coward.

It's not any of that. Something, if something, if you are utterly incapable of something, you would say, oh, man, that's impossible. Chimp possible. You got it. Impossible. Chimp possible. Yes, it's impossible. Let's do one more of these.

Then we'll be fully warmed up and that we'll take a break. I do want to see a quick scene, though. Oh, please. The two of you are chimpanzees, and you've been cast in the new remake called Mission Chimp Possible. And the two of you are just kind of meeting on the set for the first time before your big laser heist scene. Cigarette? No, I'm going to be doing a lot of running today, so. So am I.

I mean, the only way to get really amped up is to have a nice. No. Cigarette. I'm doing my own stunts, so. Oh, Mary? Yeah, I got to keep lung capacity up for the day. I got a little baby orangutan doing all my stunts. Yeah.

They just spray-painted orangutan. You're doing your own stunts? Yeah, I'm from, like, a long line of, like, really brave monkeys. Mine, my grandfather was the one that went to space. Chips are apes. I know, but. Got it. And we can say it.

Yeah, we can see it. We could say monkey, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's like fun. It's fun for us to be kind of like a little bit racist. I'm going to go, I think. Okay.

No, no, yeah. Species. Species. And action. Um, bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. Cut. We'll add that in post.

What the fuck do you need me here for on set then? If we can add all my stuff on post? We guys are the agents. And action. And can you, and can you CGI out the cigarette? Because I'm not going to stop. Bo-a-da-da-da-da-da-d-d-r-d- I don't know I'm covered in tennis balls I assume you can take the cigarette out as well Yeah, I told you this is not motion capture throws poop throws poop

It's a banana hit every laser And cut and checking the gate and that is a wrap Give a round of a boss for Tangerine and beret It's all about you guys I'm not even gonna be in this movie They're gonna have Chattie Cathy Mo-Cat me yet so let's go on a break No we gotta do one more we have to do one more these are the warmups Aaron.

All right, here we go. You're going to get it fast, Aaron. These U-S-S-S-Scial insects will often go to war with each other to gain resources they lack. You said U-S-S-O-C-I-A-L, U-S-O-S-C-I-A-L, U-S-Sual. Can you read the whole thing one more time? These U-S-Scial insects will often go to war with each other to gain resources they lack. Hmm. They also can, like, carry, like, 60 times.

their body weight or something. Yep. Defiance. Yes. It's not defiant. It's something that they lack. If you lack something you are. Deficient.

It's deficient. It's deficient. It's a deficient. Well, that's deficient. We will be back in a second with more of Ted's, the real ones. These are just the warm-ups. Huh? This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Guys, we're taking a moment. to celebrate women and all that they carry at work and relationships and families and in the many roles they hold every day. Let's all do it. Top 100 women. That's what this whole ad is. We're going to go through the top 100 women. I start to sit up a little straighter.

I'm smiling. I'm looking to my left and right. Number one. Aaron. He's going to say Brockovich. Aaron Eckhart. His wife. De Aaron Eckhart's wife.

Oh, guys, March includes International Women's Day, which means that we're celebrating women and the women in our life all month long, and we want to remind women how much they matter. And that therapy offers a space for them to take care of themselves in a way that they deserve. I've been a woman for a minute, and we often overextend ourselves for the people in our lives. And it's so nice to pour back into our cups a little bit. I love BetterHelp. That kind of therapy works great for me, because you can reach out to your counselor any time, and you can switch counselors, no problem. It's so soft on your brain. It's really good. Here, let me just refill your cup here.

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Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. Adolf, you just filled my cup up with some chardonnay. Num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, no. Your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash riddle. That's betterh-e-l-p.com slash riddle. and the number one woman.

Nope. And the number one woman of all time. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. Erin Kiaf. Oh. That's fair.

She's, she's solved a lot of diseases. Cured, solved. What am I talking about? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Okay, so I'm about to become a parent. And I'm thinking I need a website like, Daddle.com. Daddle.

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your first purchase of a website or domain. Addle daddle. Addy daddy daddle. Addle da-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hout-hout. Dot rattle.quest. Addle, Aaron, what do you think of my new hair? Before you ask, before you ask, yes, I did pull every piece of hair from my head because I was so stressed out about business finances. Yeah, buddy.

That looks stressful. I love my new JPC wig. Thank you for this. And the best part, it was super painful to do because I used my hands and fingers. Wow. Should he use Found. Right, Aaron? Should he use Found?

Found. You should have used Found. Oh, I should have used Found. Found makes it easy for small business owners to put all of their finances in one place instead of a bank account here, quickbooks there, tax, invoicing apps stacked on top instead I should have just used found found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all banking bookkeeping invoices and taxes no more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky outdated apps why did I not use found and that's the thing jpc is they've made it so easy they've even automated things like tracking expenses finding writeoffs and budgeting for tax time you can even send your invoices for free and pay your contractors everything all from one app they make it easy to regain control of your business finances so you

you came back to doing what you love JPC, like making wigs. Well, I am going to be doing a lot of making wigs now because I'm going to have to open up a new small business line that sells JPC hair wigs and people would buy them. So I can't even joke about making them because people would buy them. But I will use found and I will not stress out about having to use multiple different platforms to do everything that I need to do to run our business. We use found and I think that you should too. So take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's fowuindy.com.

Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank, member FDIC. Join the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with Found. Oh, Aaron, look, the hair's in the shape of a backwards hat. I'm JPC. Look, I'm JPM. Whoa, I love it. I wish I had my hair back.

Smells awful, though. Come on. Okay. Okay, well, let me just do my final measurements here. Everything seems even. Check the doors. Adel, Aaron. I have using my skills as a woodworker have crafted a well-built wardrobe.

A magical one where you can go into a magical world? No, I try to. It's just wood. But it's well-built. GBC, when we said every adult should have sort of a well-built wardrobe, we didn't mean like the actual frame,

like an actual wooden wardrobe. We went like in a quince way, like, you know, like having a lot of adult well-made. The quality clothing that lasts. Quality pieces that work together. They hold up over time. You know, that's what quince does best.

We told you that. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing season. I have a raincoat from them that I love. GBC, I held you down sort of clockwork orange style and held open your eyes.

I showed you that Quince's premium materials, thoughtful design and everyday staples feel easy to wear and they're easy to rely on, even as the weather shifts in Chicago. This is making sense now, because I was like, you were talking about how Quince works directly with top factories and cuts up the middleman so you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. That's what you said. That's what you were doing with my eyes. And can I be honest with you?

I did not build that well of a wardrobe. I mean, this thing is pretty loose. No, it's pretty loose. Hey, what? No. You can knock it over with a feather. Ooh, a nail just went right through my thumb. That's the best case scenario. They only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production.

I love their home stuff. I love their clothes. I can always count on them for the best quality. So don't be like that absolute fool JPC. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't be foolish like JPC. Right now, go to quince.com. Riddell for free shipping in 365-day returns.

That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E.com. slash riddle for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash riddle, R-I-D-L-E. Quince, quince.

My name is Mr. Tumnus. Please come with me. I'm going. He came with the thing. I found him on Fiverr All right, we're back and we're going to launch right in. Here we go. The largest living land animal is worried that it doesn't matter.

Elephant. Yep. Elephant Titus. Elephant. Worried that it doesn't matter. Spirling elephant. Intrusive thought events. That's the word I'm looking for.

The irreliphton. Elephant. Erelevant. Arelevant. Wow. Arelevant. Aaron, what do we think? Can we give that one to Aaron?

No, don't. Please don't. Oh, God, no. No. Now, Aaron, don't be a spirally negative thoughts elephant here. I'm a relevant. No, you're not a relevant, Aaron.

I'm a relevant. You matter to someone. I'm redundant, but with an animal. Redundant. It, redundant ant. Redundant. Oh. This marsupial has all the right credentials to be called a bear.

Kangaroo bear. Kanga, koala. Yes. Koala me by your name. Koala. Koala. Kuala. Kuala.

I mean, is it just koala bear? No, so it's a koala. Okay. They have all the right credentials to be called a bear. All the right credentials. You would also say that they are. Koala faq. They're koala.

Kuala. Kuala. Qualify. Qualify. Qualification. Yeah, you got it. It's qualifications. I'd like to see a scene. You're a koala bear. And obviously, it's hard to get a job right now. Like a lot of places are accepting applications. But you finally have an in-person interview. And you're really trying to sell yourself to the company that JPC is hiring for. Thanks for seeing me. So I think I'd be a great fit for clears because I've got to

got PSTAs, obviously from New Zealand, but I still feel like I could make a difference here. Yeah, I mean, we're, you know, as long as you have a, as long as you have the ability to work in the United States, we don't, you know, we don't care where you're from at Clare. So we've got a visa. Yeah, that would, that would be acceptable for us. I do have to say, this is an interview and this is, you know, this is not any indication of what the, you know, job will be. but you, at Clare's we do require employees to wear pants. Not just, you can't just wear it a neck time.

It's gonna be a problem. That's a problem. Yeah, fur is sort of my pants. Like these are my Levi's. Yeah, but they're not. It's fur, you know, because like your fur is like my skin, right? Like, you know.

Hmm? I'm wearing pants, you have to wear pants. It's just a thing at Clare's. Can I take a shot in the dark? Am I the first cool you've talked to? in a in a employment

sense you are the first not that I have to say because of HIPAA but you are the first koala that has applied. Hungra HIPAA? I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought up HIPAAs I know how I know how traumatic that could be for you

you are you're the first koala to apply yeah but I have many koala friends Hey do me a favor I have Dan for references Ian Keefe she lived in she lives in my neck of the woods

for maybe like a year or something. She almost drowned? Okay. Yeah, I'm not familiar. Give her a call. Yeah, I was planning. I guess I could call her right now. Let's see if she picks up.

Hi, this is Aaron Keefe. How can I help you? This must be the other. Must be a different Aaron Keefe. I've known Aaron Keefe for 10 years. She's never picked up a phone call. GPC, is that you? Hey, I was going to make a joke.

Try again. Go back in. Go back into the scene. Let me try again. Hello? Uh, Aaron Keefe. Uh, hi, yeah, this is Aaron. Hi, Aaron.

Um, my name is, um, John Patrick Cohen. I am in the middle of an interview with a koal. I didn't catch your name. Tidbinbilla? Uh, dude, I hope you heard that because I'm not, are you with Tidman? Is he, are you? Yeah, I'm with Tidtribbilla. Yes.

Yeah. I believe so. Did bidbilla? Okay, do not hire him. He gave me chlamydia. He's a monster. And also, he broke my heart. well we can't obviously we cannot have a be a koala with chlamydia working at clairs because it's you know very we do a lot of piercings it's a lot of blood so yeah he'll pierce your heart too he can pierce ears but also he'll pierce your heart well i don't think so i'm a happily married man with many koala friends i don't think yeah right cut to him breaking your heart

oh fuck i don't think this is working out why do we have to see that see i don't want to see that it's improv rules we can go wherever i simply I simply cannot do a regular Australian accent. It always turns into New Zealand. I think New Zealand's more fun. I also think you're way better at those accents that I am, Adel. And I lived there. No, no, no, no. I literally can't do them.

I've been trying for a decade. By far the best, the best of accents on this podcast. It's not a high bar to clear, but you're... Adel, yeah. All right. Aaron, let's do it. No, no. Let's do it.

Let's do Australia. Aaron, go Australia right now. Liza disc. Oh, no. Okay Eliza blind I went to the bakery I went to the bakery to get

a to get a banana Ah far out mate All right we're bad I know I told you I was I know I believe it Addle's good at accents That is my don't With

With doing accents I'll feel like 100% confident And then I'll hit a word That I like bounce off the accent So much that it'll throw it'll tank the entire rest of the accent. I'll lose it by like stumbling over like library and being like, well, I just don't know how to say library in this exit.

Yeah. Lerbri. Lerbri. This tiny crustacean prefers to live without complexity or excess. Hermit. Oh. Crab. Hermit crab, I think it truly works, but it's not that.

Can you read it one more time? This tiny crustacean, think tiny, prefers to live without complexity or excess. minimal ice minimal ice are ice crustaceans I don't know I don't think so but I don't know

they gotta be cousins at least yeah for sure hairs like the water the water of the body tiny crustace yeah this is like a crawfish no

tiny mite I think think tinier sometimes like way tinier than a crawfish is it a mite no it's not a mite it's way bigger than that it's like

split the difference The last one crab. Splits. Flammish and might. It's smaller than a lobster, but you're thinking right, like seafood. What's seafood that's smaller than a lobster? No.

Oyster. You might find it in pasta, sometimes they deep fry it. Pasta spiders? Um, uh, uh, uh, sometimes they pop-choa crab. Crab. Not crab. Um, what is, uh, muscle, what is the, what I'm looking, what am I looking for? I don't, I think you might know it because it's, think, think, shrimp.

Shrimp. Yeah, it's shrimp. So at shrimp, this tiny crustacean prefers to live simply without complexity or excess. Shrimple. It's Shrimple. It's Shrimple. The very simple shrimp. Shrimply.

The very simple shrimp. Shrimply. Aaron, I wish we had time. We don't have time. Hold on. I'd like to see a seeds. JPC is Shrimply. He's a very simple shrimp.

And this is like a 1960s sitcom about Trimpley, the very simple shrimp. and we're just, Adel, you're just going to be like a shopkeeper, someone that he's interacting with during the day. Shrimply is filmed in for a live studio audience. Pardon me. Do you have lampshades at this store? Who's talking? Oh, down there. Oh, Shrimply. Srimply, the very simple trip. Srimply. Srimply. It is a boofy.

How was the whole episode? Shrimp, shrimp. It was just asking if they have a lampshade and then someone would be like, Shriply. Next time on Shripley. Hey, do you have lampshades or not? I have... Shrimply. Shrimply.

Shrimp-d-d-d-dib-dib-dib-dib. Okay. And later this season on Shriply. Oh, it's a sitcom on Vine. It's Quibi. It's Quibi. It's... Quibi canceled Shrempley after only 11 seasons. None of those are real words.

Okay, this common Corvid is incredibly intelligent and excellent at working together with its peers. Adel, you got it first? Crow. Crow. My brain started singing Shrimply Irresistible. Shrimply the best. That's when like a hot girl shows up in Shrimply's world.

They start playing, Shrimply irresistible. She takes off her motorcycle helmet, her hair. She's a shrimp, but she is Ann Hathaway style air. Can you read the Corvett one more one time? Yeah, the common Corvid is incredibly intelligent and excellent at working together with its peers. Cro-operative. Cro-operation. Pro-operation. You got it.

Pro-operation. I do want to see a scene. Guys. I do want to see a scene. The two of you are pro-doctors or sorry, crow surgeons. and you are operating on a human. Can I be honest with you? Yep.

I got no idea what the fuck is. I don't know what all this stuff is. I really thought it would look like a crow in here. Let's, okay, let's just reassess here. Yeah. Let's just pack out his eyes. Am I supposed to be awake? Ah.

Yikes. I can feel everything. You can feel everything? Yeah. We should have practiced a scare coma for it. Give us one second. Let's talk to the cronesthesiologist real quick. Hey, what's going on?

Did you give it? Did you? Yeah, you're supposed to put him to sleep. You're supposed to put him to sleep. Oh, sorry, was I? You're a cronesthesiologist. I don't know what that means. Yeah, that makes sense.

Look, we all agreed. We saw three episodes of house through someone's window, and we were going to be doctors. Yeah, I guess I just wanted to wear the outfit. I kind of assume that you guys would maybe read into it or... Time of death. About now? I'm still alive. Cuddy, you're such a slut. Oh, yeah, see, this is what we need.

Yeah, I think that he's... I think he's dying of a really rare disease that I'll figure out what it is. Okay, now we're talking. I wish we had seen the show with volume up. We cut to a courtroom. Your Honor, my client was left on an operating table for two days. Cut open with no food or water. Wait, you know how to be a lawyer?

We watched like two episodes of Allie McPiel in front of a window. And now I thought, no, no, no. Order in the crow art. Order in the crow art. Everybody in the courtroom sort of looks up and to the right trying to see if there's a way to make that work. The seed. Well, we tried to experiment and it failed. We're not humans.

Remember the dancing baby on Allie McBeal, and what a absolute cultural milestone that was. I can't stop this, me. And if you go back and look at it, it's the dumbest looking thing in the world. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. The technology just was not there. It's like watching the Polar Express.

The technology just was not there. Never seen it? Anthony and I are rewatched once upon a time on the Gumshoes and Dragons, Patreon. and I have gasped out loud at how bad the CGI is on that show. Yeah, because it costs money. And the thing about things that cost money is nobody wants to do them. I don't want to do something that costs money. Here's my thing with that, though, is I think that with so much CGI is people don't factor in the amount of time that they need.

Oh, yeah. I think that all of these artists are capable of doing it. But like with the cat, butthole stuff, like they don't. They're not giving any of these artists the time they need to make it look okay. Yeah. But it could. Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, it could also be that they're all procrastinating.

They're like, I got it. And then like the night before they're like, shit, shit, shit, buttholes, buttholes, buttholes. What does a butthole look like? I don't remember. It's not a problem anymore, though, because like nowadays, if you need to have a huge woman throw a boulder through a glass bridge and get rescued by a fake dog, you can have AI do it in 15 seconds. And then we don't be like garbage. I don't think so. I think it's pretty, that's like a general, like a general example of just anything that you might need to.

The world sucks. But back to, back to some of these riddles. Oh, I love this next one. This animal will always play dead when threatened despite having so many other options. Possibilities. Possibilities. Ooh, Adel, you got possibilities so quickly. Is that what it is?

It's possibilities, baby. It's possibilities. This is the best one. I love possibilities. And by the way, like what Shrimply, cooperation, possibilities, all of these are geared to be sitcoms. These could all be quivis. Yeah. But you said you're getting mad at us every time we call scenes.

I know. Because I do want to get, because I can't have three episodes of the show be Ted's animal pun rate. Everybody knows, Shrimply. All right, this bird of prey is often unpleasant in social situations Voltchered No No

Unculture verd It's a It's a bird of prey Voltures are like scavengers, right? Buzzard And again, you're thinking scavengers This is a bird of prey A eagle.

Falcon, it's not eagle, it's not Falcon Wait, would you see something? Owl It's not owl, it's not an osprey This is like the next most common one I don't want to think anymore You would see maybe these at like a Did we see one of these at medieval times when we went to medieval times?

A hawk Yes, it is a hawk So this bird of prey is often unpleasant in social situations This is like Aaron at a party Hawk to a hawk to a hawk to a That is me at a party Some so awkward What do you mean that's me in a party? Is that what people are saying?

You say that, you say I only know what you say I don't talk to people JPC thinks I'm awkward. Aaron, every party that you're at, you have little blinders on, and the minute we remove them because you beg us to interact with party guests,

you dig your claws so deep into someone's forearm, they have to go to the hospital. I'm wearing my air and I grab people's hair. Aaron, I thought hot, Hawkward was hot and awkward. That's why. Isn't better? Like, hangary.

I'm actually, I'm going to go up to my Hay Riddle Riddell room. I'll see you guys. her. She's going to her nest. Hawks upstairs. Hawks upstairs. That she said? Hocs up the stairs.

I'm going to put my door. I hope no one comes up here and tries to cheer me up and convince me to rejoin the episode. Hey, JPC. Yeah. Should we go get

talking about it? Oh, yeah. What's the, what's this looking? I'm going to make a run for the border. It's not that, but it's something like that. Aaron, please come back. We need your help to do these. No.

Pundraids. I'm not in the sense. I'm not a load-bearing part of the show. No one needs me. Aaron, nobody bears loads like you. Oh, no. Casey? Oh, no.

Casey, you know what to do. Simply irresistible. Not that. Fine, I'll come back. But only because Addle didn't ask. It would be a tragedy if we could no longer eat chowder due to overfifish. this animal. Clam.

Yes. Calamity. Clamlamity. Clamamity. Clamity. Clamity. The largest of the deer family would prefer its accomplishments remain unattributed. Moose.

Oh, I love it. Yes. Accomplishments remain unattributed. Anonymous. Anonymous. Anonymous. I do want to see you see. The three of us are in.

I don't want to see this soon. Great. Great. You know what? I didn't even pull out the paperwork. So we're fine. No harm, no foul.

No sale, Harry. He's walking. He's just walking. No worries. That's okay. We didn't even pull out the paperwork. Don't worry. No worry.

You change your mind. You know where to find us. I got into the starting blocks. I started to stretch my legs. They raised the pistol and I said, I don't want to go home. I want soup. I want soup. You did that like,

MIT genius challenge and you're like looking at like eight sticks and one piece of tape and you're like another genius. I don't know what I'm set up for this. Some of the Olympics being in the starting blocks and doing that lift up thing and then going, eh, I want soup. You're saying bolts. Don't you want to? Nah. Didn't you trade your whole life for this? I want something with like sort of orzo.

Maybe like a lemony orzo something. Maybe a long grain rice? Yeah. I don't know. I want soup. bailing on anything that took strenuous training for it for soup I love it I feel so good though I will bail on my own wedding if I crave soup Italian wedding soup

soup soup Kobe this this shelled reptile often has to twist and bend its body to protect itself from predators shelled reptile shelled reptile a turtle

it's not a turtle aaron but you're so close It's a tortoise. Contortor-tortis. Contortis. Contortis. Contortis. Contortis. Contortis.

This game sucks. It hurts to talk. Oh, no. I love this game. I love this game. 1099 needed a great job. This venomous snake will happily fill your glass. Cobriiter.

Cobreter. Cobre Sprite. Cobreite. Viper. E-IPier. Vipur Happy fill your glass Keep

It's not Viper Samoliator Waper Vipur Vipur Vipur That's a great name for a bar If anyone's starting a bar

Yeah, Vipore If anyone's starting a bar That's amazing Vipor The Vipor rumor Oh yeah Can people start bars in L.A There's no good

Easy bars to get to In L.A. Can people start bars in L.A? Yes, Aaron, there's no law against it. It might have to do with, like, alcohol permits. I know that those are, like, harder to get in some places. Ugh.

Well, can someone try? Can someone just fucking try? Not us. Aaron? Disclamer, not us. Barely drank your fermented tofu I made for you. Yeah, well, it's gross. And it smells insane.

Oh, thank you. Aaron. Welcome. What? That's brutal honesty that we can get behind. What are you talking about? Yeah, well, it's gross. It smells insane.

That's honest. You call, hey, Aaron, you call it like you see. And we're moving on. When asked to star in a third flipper movie, this cetacean? Dolfinished. Responded with an emphatic yes. Oh. You got dolphin.

Enphatic yes. Finally. Aaron, you're close. Not finally. Dolphinately. Aaron, you can't do it. Australian exit. Dolphin it.

Like. I said, maybe. You're going to be... Dolphinately, maybe. You're going to be the one that saves me. Oh my God. Okay, look, I just flipped the page and I saw that there was a whole other page of Animal Pundraud.

So that was Animal Pond Raid. And there's also an Animal Pun Rade 2, Electric Bugaloo. And, oh my God, there's Animal Pund Raid 3. So we will... Here's my promise. We will come back to Animal Pond Raid at a later day. date. Get coordinated. Get coordinated.

Okay, now you're just guessing future. You're just burning ones that we know we can't do. Jaguaribus. Cowordinated. Cowordinated. Dolph funeral. All right. Hey, no more episode titles. We already got it. You hit cold with 10.90.

We murder. Le murder. But that does mean that we do have a little bit of time left in the episode for. Or, hey, Casey, can you play another voicemail theme? I want to make out with a rough wall. I want to bottom a renegade goat. I want to call a Mormon coffee place. I'm the group slut.

Okay, sway mama. Harts. Shock thoughts. Hot dogs. Ew. We have to kill Casey. What a balloon in my ass is a cloud off. Hold on.

Top sound. Oh, God. Oh, no, no, no. Are you gay? Pump up the volume. Pump up the volume. That was thrilling.

That was that was Jade Cipher's final of four thematic voicemails from the 2025 Out of Context clip bracket. Jade says I made the first one,

questioned my sanity, creating one for you. Then after all this, I said, fuck it and made one with all three of y'all in my opinion they slowly got better with each theme but i can't tell anymore jade i think you knocked it out of the park and thank you for submitting that was fucking giraffe fantastic perfect adle this is you the rest of the day you think you're getting out of this way of thinking

you're stuck my brain is a prison i thought it was tape here rific i thought it was now give me like seven or eight minutes uh if you want to submit one to the show it's you know, voice or voicemail theme to HRR podcast at gmail.com 30 seconds or less. Casey, can you hit us with a voicemail while Aaron thinks? Hi, my crew, long-time lover, first-time listener. I worked for a Christmas party company, and I wondered if you guys could pitch us some royalty-free characters that we could offer for children's party. All right.

Love you so much. Mama, ma-ma, goodbye. Did they say they work for Christmas party company? I think it's children's party company. Children's party. Oh my God, I also heard Christmas. I truly thought. That makes a real sense.

Yeah, yeah. Children's party company. Okay. What about this one? Alfred the alligator who don't eat kids. Okay, that seems a little defensive. You're right? As soon as I said it, I heard it.

We don't need that one. Alfred the alligator who definitely don't always doesn't don't eat kids. Okay. And that is a little bit confusing. Clown townie. This is a clown. Uh-huh. He's a townie.

Cloudy-Townie? Is this a reference on Casey? Okay. Do we start calling him Clouty Townie? How about this? It is the royalty-free guarantee. You get to use me. I'm public domain.

Public domain. And you can have an Aaron Keefe character come and sort of warn kids about the dangers of being awkward and hot. Or historical figures. That's in the public domain. Calvin Coolidge. Yes. Aaron, that's the first historical figure you think of. James Buchanan.

Musalini. Mooselini. Wild Bill Hickok. Mousalini. It's a moose who's an Italian fascist. The trains run on time. Dibs. Anyway, all those are winners.

Sorry. No, I'm going to give you a real one. I'm going to give you a real one. Please, one real one. Kendra, the apathetic unicorn. And she doesn't really care. And the kids think that's hilarious. She's like, yeah, I guess I'm at your party or whatever.

Fun? I don't know what kids these days care about. Yeah. Tommy balloons. Tommy balloons is a man made out of balloons. Not for free. You pay Adel for that idea. You pay him for that.

Yeah, we're going to copyright Tommy Balloons. Yeah, Tommy Balloons is actually not for sale. Thank you so much. Good luck if you want to use Tommy Balloons for free, asshole. No, no one use Tommy Balloons. No one draw Tommy Balloons. No one create a costume for Tommy Balloons. Tommy Balloons is not.

My culture is not. Your costume But Tommy balloon style What What? Okay Let's get the fuck out of you I have nothing to plug

Hot dogs Yeah Adel anything for you No hot dogs Yeah Hot dogs should be too Gubs choosing dragons Heyward or Herritor

Patreon Magic Cavern Hot dogs Hot dogs Hot dogs Hot dogs Hot dogs Hot dogs

We're I'm sorry Aaron Keith and Harry parents in the music Hey there aliens and zombies if you like that

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