Hey Riddle Riddle - #40: All Sherlock!

Episode Date: April 24, 2019

Deduction! Elementary! Egads It's a special themed episode with some characters that resemble those from Arthur Conan Doyle's epic books but are definitely way younger and cooler! We get to see two moths on a first date, meet the great 90's Hip Hop group that wasn't meant to be, and sit through the most awkward 5 minutes of stand up ever performed! Grab dem magnifying glasses and play your violin cause it's #WiddleWednesday! Check out tickets for our upcoming live shows at www.headgum.com/liveStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. No shit all Sherlock I'm out of reply. I'm JPC and I'm Aaron Keith. No you're not you're both liars. You know how I always say no shit all Sherlock and you guys usually say like, I'll use Sucka Million Dicks, you suck. I don't think we should. I think you're saying that to yourself and your own head buds. I, I think at every second of every day. I'm also pretty sure I'm not just blatantly homophobic on the show. I feel like that's not my, like to not be a good guy. I don't quite, whatever. I know. It's a recorded podcast. We can go back and listen. GPC's wearing a shirt that has an arrow upwards and says bag of dicks.

But today it holds true. The moniker holds true. No shit, all Sherlock. So today's episode is going to be- So wait, you're the liar. Huh? If every other day it's a lie, but today it's true, then we're not the liars, you're the liar.

What's happening? I don't know anymore happening I don't know. Yes, I'll be right back. I feel bad. Oh no, where did he go? He disappeared. He went away. Oh, husband.

Oh, husband is here. Uh, unplug. Oh, why does the husband have a plug? I run on batteries. You run on batteries? Yes. Give me a second chance. I've been upgraded.

I've been upgraded. Here, Aaron, I got you rape presents. This is a little baby robot for you. That smells. Mm-hmm. It has a little robot shit. It's called a cryborg. I don't like it.

Oh, that cryborg looks nice. Puzzle about what did I get? I got you little debbies, but I wrote in marker little dabbies It's pretty thoughtful, but I thought it was very on brand for you JPC little dabbies little dabbies is thoughtful But you wrote dab on the food which I can't eat now. I get it just a marker I'll also then I guess we're at the stalemate. No, it's fine. These are stalemates.

No, it's fine. Plus, but can we talk to Adel again? He had a good idea. I don't know. He's pretty upset. I know. He was gonna do something with Sherlock. I just asked, would you rather shit on me or shit on Adel? Cause I can go and he can come,

but just let me know who you want to shit on. This feels like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Right out of the gate. We were like, hi, I'm Adela, I'm JVC in Aaron, and you were like, you shit on me. Just a Udo, Puzzbot, we're on your side from the get-go. Friend, yeah, we're always your friend. Best friend?

Well, best friend. So that's a much just stretch. You lose the point. I can't stretch, I have no league of men's. Are you sure you're not at all? Okay, Puzzbot, what was Adel's idea? Yes. Puzzbot, we want to actually want to ask you, if you wouldn't mind, if we apologize, would you go and tell Adel and see if you can accept our apology? Yes, Adel's idea was that it's no shit all Sherlock. Okay. This time it was literal where you are solving

all Sherlock home cases. Oh cool. I'm glad that's the literal direction that we were and not something we do something which yet. I can't shit. So it's still literal. I, okay, Puzzbot cannot shit. I'm ready to get started on that old idea.

So let me go grab him. Do we have Benedict Cumberbatch coming to the studio? Dr. Stoshane. Sir, God bless you. Dr. Strasheian? Sir. God bless you. Dr. Lestrange? Hey, I'm guys on back. No, not at all.

Sorry, just took off this robot head and you're I am. No, it's okay. A fun coping mechanism that our friend does. And we don't have to talk about it. So my idea is it's all Sherlock. Okay. So I have a book of Sherlock puzzles. Aaron Keefe, you are going to be playing Sherlock Holmes. That's a dream of mine.

I'm sorry. You will be Sherlock. No, don't do this. Aaron, you're going to be Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, I want to be a lady Sherlock Holmes. Is still named Sherlock? We'll call you Cheryl Holmes. That's socks. Cheryl Locke Holmes? Yeah, you go. Cheryl Locke. You're Cheryl Locke Holmes. Okay, thank you. JPC, of course, you have to be Dr. Watson. Oh, I love it. Dr. Watson. You are Dr. Watson.

Dr. Watson, you're Cheryl Locke. I'm sure Locke, he's my assistant. I am playing Cheryl Locke's older, smarter brother. Microwaves. Oh, this actually worked out for you a lot. I'm playing Minecraft Holmes. I thought you'd be Moriarty. Moriarty is the villain, I believe. other micro-offs. Oh, this actually worked out really well. I'm playing Minecraft Homes. I thought you'd be Moriarty.

Moriarty's the villain I believe, so I'm gonna be Minecraft. I believe, I'm hip and kids love me. So my peers, when I talk about kids, they're my peers because I'm young. You wanna be a kid? Well, no, I mean, don't make it so, I'm weird. So, you, my craft is the older brother, but also a kid.

So you're playing team Cheryl I can't wait this is actually a really exciting premise and I can't believe how long it's taking pause Hey everyone. This is musicals r Arnie parrot. I am so sorry for pausing the episode But I have a very specific and ironclad contract that indicates anytime these chuckleheads decide to do a variation on the show I get to do a variation on the theme So if you look excuse me for just a moment, I'm going to grab my harpsichord, my wigs, and my four years of dialect training. Okay.

Oh, give her a hug. Give her a hug. Give her a hug. That was a nice treat. I heard that the doctor was the mother. I heard that she stood upon a block of I. Oh, that's a nice treat. I heard that both of them would go with this.

I knew for sure it was the canon of her dog, Richard. I knew that she's standing with an ice cream. And I was certain that the horse is named Ryan. I heard a horse. One, two, three, four, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, We're going to play a little bit. We're going to watch you. We're going to play a little bit. We're going to watch you. We're going to play a little bit. So Cheryl Locke Holmes. John Washington.

Can we not your assistant? We have to talk in all British accents. Oh, yes. Cheryl Locke Holmes, can we just get a quick intro to you? So knock on your detective office door and you answer the door. Hello. And I'm a little more than that. Hello. Is it me?

Oh, looking for. How can I help you? Okay, maybe just like an intro like. Hello, my name is Cheryl Locke Holmes. My first name is stupid, but my brain isn't. Perfect. And this is my assistant, my sidekick, someone who is lesser than me. Inter a way, officially thin man with backwards deer stalker on.

Okay, can you just do the most ridiculous sound effect to show this person sort of lame? Oh, what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what's...what...what's...what...what's...what's...what...what's...what's...what...what's...what...what's...what's...what's...what's...what...what's...what...what's...what's...what...what...what's...what...what's...what...what...what's...what...what...what's...what...what...what's...what...what...what's...what...what's...what...what...what...what's...what's...what...what...what...what's...what...what...what's...what...what...what...what's...what...what...what...what I don't show a lot of homes zoom feeble more than this just did but one of my I think I'm also a medical doctor Can you get him like a hip or British accent? Was it like still all time he British accent a little more hip? Oh Oh, all right. Yeah, son more than I've gone what son? I'm going to change my accent many times I didn't know that I'm going to change my accent many times. I'm going to stay around very long if you catch what I'm... The dick of some of my pickers. And this is my elder brother.

Hello. We have a head in church. My name is the God. My name is Minecraft Holmes. I sound like Truman Capers. You do, I like it. You are my good boys. In cold blood. Welcome, Dr like it. You are my good boys. In cold blood.

Welcome, Dr. Watson. What's up? Sister Sherlock. Thunderlight and Thunderlight. Hmm, I have a riddle for you to solve a case. And I would just like to welcome the fans to what is surely the worst episode we've ever done. Here we go. Maxel Perry had died in a small alley just the right side of brick lane, shot in the chest.

His attire suggested that he'd been in something of a panic. His shoes were unlaced, his trousers belted but unbuttoned, and his jumper, both back to front and inside out. Profound though his alarm had clearly been, it had just as clearly not saved him. As investigations unfolded it became clear that Perry was involved in the opium trade moving his death towards natural causes. Unfortunately he was also a distant cousin of someone of note. The poor Inspector Lestrade was on the receiving end of a considerable amount of pressure to

solve the murder having a whole pile of witnesses and suspects didn't help. Holmes, my sister, Cheryl Locke, gradually agreed to have a look over the stride's notes, mainly to get the fellow out of our rooms. When they arrived, he flicked through them, making Dolcitori comments as he went. This is all nonsense. Let's see if somebody Dol Dolsatori comments from Sherlock. Oh, interesting how this is written in pen. That's right, Dolsatori is.

Here we go. So there's a witness, Brenton. Brenton claims to have seen the victim running past like a sack of monkeys, whatever that means. A sack of monkeys, is that a common phrase? I don't think so. Running like a sack of monkeys is a common phrase in Britain. Like a sack of monkeys. Or take a sack of imbs for you, Mr. Prims?

Now Murphy heard a shot in Ponder Barney, but didn't see anyone else. What seems short-sighted at best. Blah, Mr. Blah, remember seeing the victim running away because of the visible jumper label. Colgate saw one man shoot another face-to-face, but was too running away because of the visible jumper label. Colgate saw one man shoot another face to face but was too far to get even the slightest useful detail. Ruttledge found a pistol in a waist skip behind a pub.

What's a waist skip? All of us says the victim turned a corner and almost barreled into him, then shrieked and dashed off. That's more than enough, I think. It's quite blatant who killed the man. Yes, it is. This is a fucking word soup of knowledge. That's more than enough I think. It's quite blatant who killed the man. Yes, it is. This is a fucking word soup of knowledge. I know it's too soon to say, but this is already my favourite episode.

Yes. Let's see. So the people, the suspects, all said what they saw. Yes. Are these people suspects? They're a whole pile of witnesses and suspects. Witnesses and suspects in it would be good both. Oh, is a question for you. What's a jumper in this context? A jacket. It's a jacket. I think a jumper is a sweater. No. A sweater, a sweater. Like a pole over sweater. I only know it in context of like a thing that...

Women wear a uniform when I was in Kittik's school. Oh, reading the riddle, I have a correction here. A jumper is the right blinds number one here. Which you would get back from that next one friend. I don't want that. You've had one by look, because that's the monkeys. Don't work the words. What happened?

Do the chorus, general. I don't want to. To break from my own rule of speaking British accent. Oh, thank you. I found the perfect thing to do around the house. Next time you're around the house and your board, you're going to say Phoebe Pee, Phoebe Bee, to the tune of that song that's like near or far, always together, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Please let the sounds that indicate that we're back into Victorian England, think you're?

Maybe like a record scratch. Err... Err... Err... Wait, you make this Victorian England, but you told me you wanted me to have a more modern accent? Alright, let's... Oh man, out of time in space! Okay, so, um, can you do any of the... I'll go wait this is. There are also the suspects.

Can you read what they start getting with Perry? Is that the name they want? So what names to have seen the victim running past like a sack of monkeys? Murphy heard a shot and found the body but didn't see anybody else? Bligh, remember seeing the victim running away because of the visible jumper label? Colgate saw one man shoot another face to face but was too far away to get the slightest detail, Rutledge found a pistol in the waist-skit behind the pub. All of his said the victim turned a corner and almost barreled into him. Well, I got a question. I got a question. The original police report cited this may

have been natural causes. Because he was part of the opioid thing, but it wasn't natural causes. But men have been shot. Did we not find a bullet? I think you didn't say his stuff was inside out. I'm sorry. He's close. He's close. We're inside out. So when that imply that he was his clothes were already inside out when he was running

away for jumper label was visible. Hold on, hold on. He's involved in the opioid crisis, as well as what I was about to say, but the tribe, the opioid tribe and his clothes are inside out. Is it possible? He's a member of hip hop group Chris Cross. So my assistant is not actually going to try to help and solve this. That's becoming increasingly clear. So he was on the right side of Brick Street. That's correct. Alright, so you turned a corner. Pardon me, well I have to mine for some ore here to build something.

Yeah, you have a fundamental understanding of how the game is played, Minecraft. What's that? It's like Sims, but more pixelated, I assume. So, alright, I think... Don't you know, Cheryl? I do, I know, this is a fun position we put in. Like, section of the track. So are there any extra hints for us?

There are no extra hints. But the one hint is to use elementary What does that mean to TV show? Yeah, the TV thing Elevator Game is the foot. I don't know what I don't know elementary mod do what so you said it tell me a D-roll set pop the ball. All right. Tell me tell me if I'm on the right track Yes, you are I am on the right track with the inside out. You are. I am. That is basically the answer. So...

Seriously? The victim's jumper was back to front as well as inside out. One would have seen the label of standing in front of the man, Bly claims to have seen the label as the victim ran away, which is impossible and marks him as the killer. I honestly figured it out. I'm so proud that you should lock you. I also want JPC to be proud of me. I know ladies. I wish I had your brain and could remember the people that

we've met on our travel share lock but I just don't know who JPC is. I can't believe I got this. don't know who JPC is. I can't believe I got this. Minecraft? Minecraft? Yes. Are you proud of this? I figured it out. Honestly I'm Ben Riddle's knight today. I'm slightly less embarrassed to call you my sister. I hate this. Carry on. Moncraft, did you just say you'd like to see a scene? Yes. Inside. Oh this is going to be interesting. The improv has been invented yet. I been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented.

He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented.

He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented.

He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. He's been invented. in this episode, you have to scream, what year is it? And then say what you're gonna say anyway. Which I think is the funniest in terms of all that. Anytime you go into any time, any listener, if you go into a coffee shop, if you go into a restaurant, you go visit a family member, a friend, you go to a bookstore, immediately walk in and yell, what year is it?

And then just go about your business. No matter what they say, then say, then they're still time. And then like order your coffee or buy your book or whatever. But that would be hyper specific in your ass. So if you go to a coffee shop, go, what year is it? Then there's still time. I need a gronda lavender tea.

Gronda. What exactly? What kind of nachachis that? One millimeter of sugar. Sir, the coffee is not gendered. You know, it just gronday for everything. You know, and I'm in the wrong year. Your coffee is not gendered, you know, it just grad day for everything. You know, and I'm in the wrong year. Your coffee's not gendered. I'm in the wrong year.

All right, let's. I want to see a scene where JPC and Aaron, you are two. So Chris Cross is becoming huge hits. And I don't know 91. What was it? Song Jump? Yes. And the two of you are trying to capitalize on that momentum. So you're two kids who have also formed a group where they, you know, Chris Cross had their clothes inside out or backwards. So you have your own gimmick and you're trying to convince

a label to hire you. And you're the label? Yes, to try. Gotcha. Right, Tommy, we can do this. You can do this, Michelle. Okay. So kind of what makes Ipsophacto a little

different is that we're not only are we singers, but we're kid lawyers. Oh, that's the Ipsophacto. Well, it's a factor. It's a factor. Yeah. So we're the Ipsophacto. Not only are we kids, but we're lawyers. Are you also representing Vizavi? The Vizavi Allah. Yeah, are your kids, but we're lawyers. Are you also representing visa fee? The visa fee, A-Law. Yeah, there's a lot of... You're representing A-Law? Mm-hmm. I don't know. So.

I wouldn't want to touch that. So we're also a kid lawyer. It's a sky hook L.A. Mm-hmm. We're kid lawyers? Mm-hmm. For example, some of our cases are like, when your baby brother comes in your room and he farts and then he says, farted. We like do cases like that. We're not even just like kid lawyers for regular

Love we really do kid. Did you kid? Do you kid? Do you kid? Yes, and thank God it was a kid. Yeah, it was another kid because if we we got very close and we almost like is this gonna be an adult Yeah, but it actually was her brother. I think that and we almost like is this gonna be an adult? Yeah, but it actually was her brother. I think that, according to Erin Keith,

and who even knows who she is. Who even knows. But she sometimes looks at YouTube videos late at night and a lot of them say that, John Moniz, killer is her brother. But that's just here. I'm gonna need one of it's effects as well. And I just wanna also go ahead and point out

that you are correct in that lawyers catch killers. That's what that's the thing the lawyers do. Yeah, we'd love to say what I'm sorry. I'm the head of a music label. But we'd love to say that. Yeah, you're ostensibly an adult. No, who would know? What's your one of your songs?

Sure. It's a fact, though. I object. I object. I object. And I object three. I object. And one more for me. I object.

And court is over. And whenever you're ready for the song, okay. Okay, yeah. Lawyers like to pack and put up all their briefs. Lawyers like to snack and put up some more briefs. Anything break your briefs to court? I got something news for you. I will, will do a really good job.

You'll be proud, you do. I can't. I have good news and bad news. Just so you know, we rehearsed. She was doing the setups and I was doing the rhymes. I don't know how it worked out the way it worked out. I have good news and bad news. Okay, we'd love to hear which one you went first.

We'd love to hear the good news first. We'd love to hear the good news first underneath my desk I have the most delicious turkey What's the bad news I thought we were gonna have to eat the sandwich under the desk What year is it save Here we go Cherlock Dr.. Whatsack.

Yes, we're back. What, you interrupted us at our noon time tea? Which one to have our tea? Minecraft and you barge in here with a new mystery for Mrs. Cherlock to soul. And who's my housekeeper, what's his name? Mr. I don't know, it's your housekeeper. I'm sorry, it's a woman in the modern version, but in the old books, it's a man.

What would we know? What your housekeeper's name is? You hired a housekeeper, and now you want us to remember the name. And the more you speak the harder it is to remember it will come to me. Of course, well, let's have some dead air then. Dead years. Wouldn't that bring knowledge a little bit of dead air? This case is called the first camouflage. I remember the day clearly even now. It was late October of Friday. We had finished lunch in a short while before and I was sitting in a pleasant state of

poised prendy or sleepless. I was on the verge of nodding off when my sister Holmes finally called out, I've got four words for you, minecraft. I think I managed some grown-of-mild protest which Holmes duly ignored. Elephantine, Beechwood, Buggleweed, Stapmother. And I asked, each word, Holmes said, contains a smaller word, well camouflaged within its parents. What is the common theme uniting the four smaller words

and what are the four smaller words? Can you read them again please? Elephantine, Beachwood, Vaggleweed, Stepmother. Feel the dead air with speaking. Well I try to figure this out. Maybe they're different thing that won't be stuck in my head the rest of the goddamn weekend. Alright alright alright, now. Oh you want a song that won't be stacking your head? Then I have a band for you.

It's so factored. Can you? Because one of the girls can't rhyme. Can you read them one more time? I'm so sorry. I've got this Minecraft. Elephant time. Beachwood.

Buggle weed. In step modder. Say that again. Elephant time, beach wood, bugle weed, instant modder. Say that again. Elephant time, beach wood, bugle wood, instant modder. Now we just need that. I'm getting further away. Whatever, you figured out this one out. Yeah, you figured this one out. Fant. Fant is a word, right? What are you saying?

Oh, the word Fent. Fent. Mm-hmm. Now, beach and wood. Oh, they're all different, different bugs. That is correct. Did I get it? But now you have to say the four bugs.

No. No. Moth. Mm. And yes, and go ahead, you do the other three. All right, you got moth in yes Okay moth bug Mr Hudson is the name of the house keeper. Thank you so much everyone. So instead of solving this case

I was solving my own case. I already sort of solved it didn't I? I'm going to solve this crave case. Entity. Per. I- I- I- If you were paying attention on just list it all the bugs. List them again. Oh, did it. What? You fucking asshole? You're an asshole. I hate him.

Go ahead. What are the names of the bugs? We- We got it right. One of them is bug. They're all insects. We have math, bug, B, and ant. Oh, I was spelling B. B. B. B. Yes. How did you spell B to it?

I didn't. I didn't. Yes, that was the same. I would like to see a scene. Sure. JP Dr. Watson. You are going to be playing. Hold on, hold on. I want to make sure I

Understand the premise of what's happening here I think all rules are off we are calling for scenes inside of a premise wait hold on this is a scene wait wait wait wait what you're Bored this point I'll listen is either HATES or they love us. And if they're on our side, then they'll understand. This is the way through. What's the scene? The scene is that the two of you are Mars

and you're around a flame having your first date. Hey, can you focus on me for like two seconds? You're just keep looking over at the flame. What are you talking about? I'm here with you. You were looking directly at the flame. What are you talking about? I'm here with you. You were looking directly at the flame. I knew, focusing on you. And you look so hot tonight.

I'm here talking about you. So bright, so bright. All right, then what am I wearing right now? I'm sorry, I love it. It's your neck, it's like a, we all are, because we're bots. We got me. And you look amazing. And you know, and you know you're

Dancing delicately with All right, fine you can go like hang it. I don't want to I don't want to you should know my brother dated flame I'm here with you. I'm here with you my brother dated flame and he died Brilliant burning death, Okay, what a big god, okay. You are really paying attention to me. What am I wings of? Moth wings? God, you.

Yeah, I'm crushing this. Are you know what, go over and talk to flame. Okay. I'm so tired of this. I'm gonna date a freaking, I don't know, a butterfly. I will go talk to flame just to prove to you that I don't want to do it. Yeah, okay, yeah, go. Okay, I don't know I'll go talk to flame just to prove to you that I don't want to know. Yeah, okay. Yeah go I don't even like it. Oh my ears are burning. Okay, never mind. I'm so sorry. Let's go

No, I like you. No, no, no, no, I'm all good on this I'm actually all good on this You did nothing you did nothing wrong flame you fucked it up again. Okay, how you doing? You fucked it up again, Ryan. And we can fly away. No, I'm sorry, I just met a butterfly over at the bar and we're gonna head out and fly. Puff, puff, puff, it's not even worth. I alone flame.

What, same parts? What do you mean same parts? We have to, like, a little. And it seems to me, we're like, like, like, like creatures. Like a candle in the wind. Go be with flame. You're gonna migrate to Mexico with this butterfly?

No, we're probably both gonna die in two days. Carl, go fuck yourself. Oh no. I'm sorry. Well, you don't need to talk about this flame. You've got at most like, oh, 36 hours left before that wake is done so. What? You are...

Hey, you don't need to make it in here. No, no, no. No, no, no. We don't need to make a scene. You're not even sentient. You're not even alive. You're just fuel. You are burning because of this flame. Hey, you don't need to make it in here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, See? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha is having un-listenable episode. We got it, we just got it afforded. This can ruin us. It can absolutely ruin us. Stay focused, another mystery. I'm two for two assholes. Have you noticed that it got both right, Adol?

But you forgot the name of your housekeeper. But I remembered. Hey, what is it? Yeah! You remembered that being on your phone for three minutes. I was writing down the bug name You were writing on the bug names, which you therefore asked eight times Pidly winking weird word and I didn't think the word beachwood is comparable to pitley

Both trees Stepmother and yet you compare to I have no words with stepmother and yet you compare it to another way. I have enough of your mind craft, go be pixelated or read another mystery please. These two brothers, they never get along. Well I'll tell you what, we're going to take a short little break and see if they can cool off for a little bit and we're we come back, I'm sure, share a lock in Minecraft or be best friends again and as for me I'm gonna go drink a cup of tea Hey, GPC

Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to Okay, I just need some advice this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all spaces to all one website platform entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engage with your audience And so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, Otto come here come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on?

I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. New, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank's utility. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace, you can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Aaron, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods.

Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help.

I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices,

and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs

and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space Who are we? I Think link link excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him,

but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season.

Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million.

Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle.

Rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Welcome back to your listeners. This is Minecraft Holmes here with Dr. Watson. Watson? And my younger but brilliant sister Cheryl Locke Holmes.

Hello. Oh, Minecraft, I might to tell you. I-I-I-I-I think you dropped this. It's 50 stone. Oh, yes, I lost some weight. Thank you so much. Is that what you're going for? That's too much weight. No, it's a Minecraft reference. I-I feel like it might be lost on you.

And I don't understand why. You chose your name, that one. I'm ready for more mysteries. Mysteries, please. Yes, I'm ready for more mysteries. Mysteries, please, my friend. Yes, I'm ready for more mysteries and less references to my name's sake, which I know too much of that. Yes, you're also, also. This case is the case of the grandad. Thunder and Lightning?

Very, very, very. You cowled. Oh, hello there, Thunder. And me too. Oh, yes, we're brothers. Yes, Lightning. Yes, we are. Lightning. Oh hello there Thunder And me too Yes we are brothers Yes we are Lightning who's born earlier?

Well that's a funny story Thunder technically came before lightning Sorry sorry But our dad came first And our brother never did This sag is finished too Afterwards and our mother never did. This sucks. He finished her own afterwards. Because as we all know, do the right thing. Go down on your life.

Yes, I'll go down on your life. And we are away. All right, back to the mystery. Back in the show, I filmed this time with Sweeping Back in. What a delightful one-act play by Harvey Firestein. Oh, I hate those two All right, here we go. Here's the case of the granddad You might be interested in this minor follow up to the nasty affair of the highwayman's daughter A day later homes and aisle in our lodgings at 221 B

Baker Street B. Biggest street. Mmm, yes. Thomas is if I knew where I lived. And I was writing up my notes on a case. Homes sat there thoughtfully for a period of time, puffing on his pipe while I scratched away with my pen. Eventually he turned to me. Her father was quite old, you know, he said.

It seemed an odd point for Homes to make. Oh, I replied. He nodded, although then her grandfather, in fact. What? He arched an eyebrow at my reaction. I replied he nodded although then her grandfather in fact what? He arched an eyebrow at my reaction. Whatever did he? So what we supposed to be In order to solve this adequate move familiar with the case of the whole women's daughter Okay, so choosing some thinking

It's like and is it the high women's daughter? two things I'm thinking it's like and is it the high women's daughter? yes the case of the high women's daughter okay is it maybe the age when they died or could it possibly be that's I don't know I want to be able to get him for right. Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father?

Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father?

Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? Have father? That's it. Was I on the right? What are we trying to so I'm here? I'm the right track. It turns you pick this Minecraft in terms of what the riddle is here I think I'm on the right track but don't what I don't know Always I never know what I'm speaking about is this a specific case for trying to solve? Or we just saying how can a father be younger

than a green father? No, how can a father be older than a grandfather? They're the green father. Is it possible that it's like different size, like... Different size of the family? Yeah, it's not his dad. Yeah. It could be.

Yeah, like the mom's dad. Should have two six-year-old fathers. Yeah, it's could be a old man. Like an old man in the... Yes, almost like a Charlie in the chocolate factory scenario. I'm sorry, were you listening to a fucking word we said? No, not really. Are we close with either of our answers?

Listen, I've seen the answer and I'm not quite sure what it means. All right, so... Is it possible? Is it possible that way? I'm going to have a snifter of Randy, who are you two? A snifter? Yes. What do you think a snifter is?

Well, I've got a snifter right here, it smells me more slash all day. Was that a... I have a snifter right here, fucker. Can you do the human thing? Alright, tell us what the answer is. The answer is stated here. As Holmes has often said, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains no matter how improbable,

must be the truth. The highwayman married late in life, and the grandfather in question was her mother's father. Isn't that what I said? Not her father's father always said. This isn't exactly what I said. I suppose I did get it first. Oh, my savvy sister, you are three for three.

Three for three? Can you believe it, JPC? Look at me right in the eye, I'm sorry. One size JPC. I'm so sorry. What son, look what right in the eye? And tell me I am a god. Oh you are mad, are you mad?

Are you having a right in the eye? And say you are a god, three for three, you're a god. No, Cheryl, yes. Listen to me. As your physician, I'm concerned. You keep mentioning this JPC. We don't know who it is Are you seeing

Clearly or are you a quiet man? Wait, it's 18 You know it knows Okay, it's got to be you know 18 that's right 18's right. It's definitely not Set team. I'll wait to be called a god then. I'm not going to get that today. I haven't quite landed on my voice And I keep workshopping them. Is that hard to listen to you? I feel like mine's kind of bullet tooth Tony Yes, you've quite Vinny Jones from last night. I'm the chuck-a-knock bitch

Yes, here's what I like to see. I like to see a scene what I'm going a little bit deeper with my voice. Yes, yes, here's what I like to see. I like to see a scene. Sure. Well, boy, Cheryl, you're going to retreat to a mind palace. And with your two mirrors, you're going to workshop some accents and voices. Yes. Okay, right. Hello, this is one kind of British accent.

Yikes, fucking yikes. All right? We're a quick Cheryl. Yep. Fucking yikes. All right. They were a quick Cheryl. Yep. Fucking yikes. Are you talking about my face or the voice I'm trying? Just the whole package. Uh oh.

Speaking of the whole package, I'm looking at that, that ass and. Ooh, wait. Perfect. Honestly, from the back, you're fucking snack. Oh. From the front. No, no, no. Yeah, from the back, you're fucking snack.

All right, I need back, you fucking snack. How about this time? From the back, you're fucking snack time on the back you will fucking talk Oh from the back you off how can time my confidence is weird In my brain these are two people I created in my brain and I'm saying I look disgusting from the no no from the back I'm a snap we're mirrors. We are your aid and your ego Where's my super ego you're the super ego ego. You're the super ego, asshole. See? Just put a cape on your ego and it's the fucking super ego.

How about this voice? Yes. I'm here. It's a little bit of a cracker happen. Don't hate it though. It's nice. It's sort of... It's more transatlantic than a... British? All right. Can you do Jimmy Stewart? I'll give you the moon Mary.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my Jimmy Stewart? I'll give you the moon Mary. Oh yeah. Oh, my Jimmy Stewart sometimes sounds like share. Okay. And if you can turn back Tom Mary. Can you do Jimmy Stewart? But then as you're doing it, just make it British. And that's your Sherlock. Oh, okay, well, yeah, Mary, I'll give you the moon Mary.

Yes, British, I can't believe I'm struck. There you have it, a crazy person. And back to Victorian England, here we are. Sorry, I was in my room of mirrors in my brain. Yeah, sure a lot. A share of a ghost, to be roomed. It's a man palace where she figures out the answer and sort of the older mysteries we do.

Yes. The other mystery, please. I'm three for three. This mystery is... I'm three foot three. Yes, you are a tiny little man. Yeah, I'm a little. You're almost a halfling. I'm a sir half a little three three. I mean mom was a halfling and we did was at wolf

How tall is a dwarf Conorically like no bigger than four five. There's a medium Yes, of course this one is the most to the constitution. Sorry dwarves have Plus to the constitution. Sorry dwarves have plus to the constitution Was your mother was your father dwarf or was he a wolf? Because I heard there's a dwarf in war and alright Let's continue. You know the previous episode sure. Yeah, this one's came out this case is called the one

Many numbers have plausible claims to interest, storms told me. I'd nodded passingly familiar with some of the eccentricities of the mathematicians art. This one, however, is quite unique. Can you perhaps tell me why? He handed me a note pad on which he had written the number, and I'll only say this three times. 8 billion, 549 million, 176 thousand.

Wait, 8, 100? No, 8 billion. 549 million. 176 thousand, 320. Do you know what he was getting at? He turned it upside down, it spells oob boobs. It spells boobs when you turn it upside down. Yeah, somehow a number involving billions wouldn't turn upside down, turns into four letters describing the mammaries.

I have to be honest with you, I've heard this... of context before, but I don't quite remember what it means. So a number I've given you with common digit sounds familiar to you, but you don't know why. Fascinating, thrilling, even, Cheryl, like you've done it again. Well, you don't repeat any numbers in it at all. All right, let me think. Every single number zero through nine is represented. Let me think here. billion 549 million 176 go back from the start and I want you to sing it. All right. 8 billion 549 million 17320 minutes. How many seconds in the British day? In biscuits, in crackers, in fish, in tinnitus. In Margaret, in batches.

I just looked over at KJ and they stared at the sky like how did I get here. I'm sorry! Bring me TKJ. You mean the constable in there? Yes, oh that's... TKJJPC, you're just saying letters woman. What are you talking about? 8,549,000,000.

7... Alright, alright. I got 76. Mine can't have a question for you for this. Do any of these stories feature me in any way? Or am I just kind of a tertiary side side side character and all of this? We'll think of all the people who've played you on screen. Name three. Lucy Lou?

Oh fuck you, I forgot right? You earlier mentioned elementary. Yes, I think you did. Yes, alright. Lucy Lou, the Jude Law. Jude Law? yes, in the thought I was too. A Robert Down in the Junior movie, yes. Yeah, you're giving him the answer, so.

And and the guy in who did free. Stop it, you're giving him the answer. Stop it. He did that porn in love actually. Yes. Martin Freeman, so Martin Freeman man Lucy Lou jude laugh don't see Riley recently. Oh boy. That one that one was a bit I didn't see it a bit of a wiki stick it if you will oh I see a scene right now and here's a scene Shererock hold on I think you probably did hold on now I want to see you seen Shererock you are going to be playing a woman. You are auditioning for the musical Rint but you can't seem to get the lyrics to the song right and you are auditioning for the musical singing a song from the musical.

We're going to be auditors. We're going to be auditors. Okay. Great, and if you just want to take it from the top. Okay, I just want to tell you how one of the honors to be here, I love this show. Okay, and you're still... Oh, that's funny, most people hate it. I'm joking, everyone loves this show, we know. And you're still as love.

And you're a student of this high school? Yeah. Okay, you just look... What? You look... Yeah, maybe in 30. I'm so sorry. This sounds crazy.

To prove you're in high school, can you do the splits? Yep. Oh wow. Okay. Wow. Nope, that was great. Wow. I'm ready to sing.

Shrub. Can we help you up? Can we help you up? Better not. Okay, you want to just stay there and do this song. That's fine. I'm ready to sing Can we help you up better? Okay, you want to just stay there and do this song. That's fine Terry her pants are in red Your pants get in shreds. She like she like reversed hold down those pants It was like everything stayed off

The top of the pants blew off. Okay, now you are crying blood. Whatever, whatever you are ready. Whatever, whatever you are ready, beep, beep, beep. Just a joke, not a musical, let's go. And I can just sing any song from the show. Yes. I can just sing any song from the show. One of the big ones.

Okay. Niffs in my house. I've been your first word. No, got much better than they are. You're feet. I need to stop you right now. Kisses. I got to spend. I'm gonna stop. We're gonna stop you right there.

Could you not play? Can you not sing a song of one of the main male roles of Rick? Oh, okay. Yeah, because we want to give you an idea of something you'd actually be auditioning for. Oh, sure. I don't want to give a note, but I will because that's why I am here. A lot of the words that you say, you really round the letters, does that make sense? Sure.

So instead of saying like, New York, you say like, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got it. I'll do a lady part. Or instead of living, you say, and then, right? So I need you to really enunciate, and I need you to get the words out there. Oh my gosh. I got it. I'll do a lady part. Or instead of living, you say, and I'm right, so I need you to really annunciate, and I need you to get the words out there. Oh my gosh, I got that. Almost chew the words because you really round them. I'd also like to say that you are kind of

very unexpectedly receptive to this feedback, which tells me that you're not going to follow through a lot. Oh, no, no, I got it. Okay, great. And from the top. Also, yes, from the top. I have a set of day. Have a set of beat. I need a maybe.

No me. Everybody. And I mean no. I can't help it. Baby. Okay. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you.

I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you.

I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you.

I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you.

I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you. which is we need to hear your impression of Jimmy Stewart from the Victorian England. Okay. Ah! Same record! Wow. Aaron knows all the song to read.

In saying, you clearly know all the words. I could have done it. I don't know. Aaron, you are very close. I mean, you guessed one part of it. So we just have one and a half of the number. So it is comprised of all ten digits, and there's something else. 8 minus 4 is 5, 5 plus 4 is 9. 4 minus 9 is 1, 9 plus 1 is 7, 7 plus 1 is 6, 7 minus 1 is 6.

6 is 3 and 220. Is that perma beautiful, my? Wait, the generator just solved that problem. No, it's dreadfully wrong. Oh no, you're way out. Getting back to cleaning the floor, smuck. That's one of my favorite things and I feel like they happen in a world news scene,

whereas somebody dropped a bunch of marbles and I was like, 187. And everybody was like, oh my god, that's amazing. Were you right? I'm like, no. No. But just like, anytime somebody drops something, just screaming at a number.

And then people be like, holy shit. Okay, so there's one other element to this. Elementary, most of you. There's one of the elemental to this. I shall look at the number again. I hear five, four, nine, one, seven, six, three, two, eight, six, seven, five, three. Is it like a number thing or the way it looks?

Is it like a number thing? Fuck you, Bell. Is the Rittle that involves all ten numbers? No, do you think like he's had a math thing? Is it a math thing? Why don't you switch from mathematics to English, the assistant? Oh, right.

Could it be something that was, is the math involved in this? Why am I just said? Why don't you switch from mathematics to English? To English. It was an alphabetical. It's alphabetical. I did it. So it's each number, one through ten.

Right, right. And then after better for order. And after better for order. Turns out I was the smartest one all along. Turns out I got all the answers right. Your parents are down. Oh my goodness. They're in shrines for some reasons. It's because I tried to do the splits. Oh it's been really hard because friends keep checking in on me to see if I can keep this

bit in that car. You know adults can't do that right? They can. No. Not necessarily so this bit too much colour. You know adults can't do that, right? They can! No! Not in a sense of this whole act. No! Not adults like us who are lazy. Whenever a completely foolish thing, share a lock.

What, son? I want to see a scene. Fine. Alright, the two of you are... Um, uh, auditioning. These are all auditions today. I'm happy. Let's do a different scene. No! No!

I was originally excited! The two of you want to hear the same. The two of you are 30-something-y-olds trying to audition for Cirque du Soleil with no discernible physical skills. Okay. Oh, whoo! These stairs to get up to the stage are getting me! Oh, man, we should not have had four milkshakes.

What is this? Okay, we're ready. Hello. Hello. Hey, it took a while to get up that one step. That was, oh yeah. Oh yeah, it's just a one step on the stage with the dude. It's like an optical illusion.

Okay, this is for our new show at the Bellagio. Of course, this is called Kakaowawi. Of course. It's our South American inspired- By all the music of the Beatles, correct? By all the musicals, the Beatles set to Carnival! Okay. Because right at this point we're just printing money, baby.

And so we want to have something, wow, something fun, we want something little adult-thing Think of babies. And we heard that YouTube had something special, so what are we gonna see today? So I'm gonna sing a Beatles song and My partner in crime here is going to do it. I'm her exposed husband Okay, well, I said we don't necessarily need to mention that right out of the gate and I'm proud I'm proud of that Kevin just someone those are three the best years of my life whatever whatever whatever and we're both doing better now. Okay. I'm remarried And he's just gonna just like yell out some things he thinks Michael Douglas's son. He did wrong

You're Michael Douglas's son. I'm married to Michael Douglas's son. Oh, what's his name? So Kirk gave birth to Michael gave birth to Kirk. Yeah, MaridDue. It's Gets a Gettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A Jettin' A J I fell for it. I leaned into it. I love it. I hook line and oh, so we don't even have to do what we prepare No, what you prepare what we do is we do close-up audience interaction work With people who are in the audience To beat us to while my wife's a field song Excuse me sir Where are you from I'm from Santa Fe Santa Fe Like while Aaron sings the first in Sanctus also sing a different song

Yeah, that's five degrees red I got it. Right right. We're all back We're not gonna pay, we're not gonna pay Yes, the wall is a bridge We're not gonna pay, go ahead Four bushes, war Yes, alright One more mystery please We've down to our last puzzle

Puzzies and reties of forces, what we do What was that you just said, Puzzies and reties That's all like that Poodles and Rudles would have been funnier. That'll be good one day Yes one day one day until they hit the themed episode Victor Wish you'll probably be like episode fucking 40 or something It will be Aaron's favorite but it'll be the end of the show carry on yeah, I could see our numbers going plummeting down.

Yes, well, once the creators started to put all their good content behind the Patreon, then of course there was a download. Yeah, the Devil's Barrel, right, right. Here we go, final one. Let's see if anyone except for Aaron can solve this, I'm looking at you Watson. I hardly believe, I even exist at this point. I've been mentioning the material of my book. Do you know what I'm saying?

Do you know what I'm saying? It has been about me at all. This is the case of the old ones, after all. Accurious incidents in Bethnal Green came to my attention one and two's day morning, in the evening standard. Who's day morning, God? A fellow walked into a pub on the Cambridge Heath Road and asked the man to hand the bar for glass of water.

The response was immediate, the man pulled out a gun and immediately shot the would-be customer dead. Unfortunately for the murderer there was a witness he was unaware of, or one of the regular serving girls. She escaped detection and was able to describe the day's horror to the police. She was also able to confirm that the murderer did not appear to have known the victim or harbour any sort of grudge against him, but also did not seem to be simply killing him for the dark joy of it.

According to the newspaper, the police even mentioned that the victim had not had hiccups. Any find the reason why this matter happened? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm would trick them, would do something, was the victim not really a victim after all? No, the victim was a victim. Alright. I'm a sharp shot, and indeed. Alright, fine. We're applying the victim mentality coming from Cherilock, what I mean. Alright.

So the man behind the bar, a man walked in, asked the man behind the bar for a glass of water, and then pulled out a gun immediately, shot the wood because of him in debt. Alright. a glass of water and then pulled out a gun immediately, shot the wood-be-customer dead. All right. Witness said that the murderer did not seem to have known the victim or harbour any sort of grudge, and did not seem to be killing simply for the joy of it. We all have these Dick British accents. Is it possible when he said glass of water,

it sounded like my ass gets slaughtered? Yes, right. Or perhaps I have fucked your data. Maybe he was menacing or something, or he had like a bug on him, he was trying to shoot off a scare, something happened. Yes, the answer is that the man had a bug on him. I don't like your staff. The man was on fire and the gun was a fire extinguisher.

fire and the gun was a fire extinguisher. Tell me. I finally got one right. Hold on. You don't want the answer man. Was it a situation where the main head to be scared and the gun was supposed to scare the man, not kill the man? Sounds right to me but that's you that's like the hiccup answer. But I did not have hiccups and how could they tell? Because when you have the hiccups you hiccup. Even after death. It's like air escaping from your lungs. Did you know winner human body expires one of the most common things that happens as you do it. Did you do the hiccups for a bit. Wait, so is it Tuesday morning and it asked for water?

Oh, you're on the right track. Oh, is it? You're not. No, but there's details at the beginning that I've already forgotten. Oh, is it something with one of those? Why is it called a pub when it has a bar? Why not just call it a bar?

Is this your stand up? Oh, good. It could be, do you like it? No. Did it's not? It never did. Never was. We have to see, let's see about 60 seconds of Dr Watson's bespoke stand up for Victorian England Ardensies. All right, what day is it? What day is it? You there? Boy, what day is it? Boy, it's 9- dare boy, what day is it? Why it's 9-11, sir? Oh, she's... Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy! You asked!

I'm the desk, I'm the desk! It is Victorian time, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything, and even in Britain, I think we dial something else instead of 9-11, so... ...supfact it's 9- a level let's get brought past it anyway this wife of mine this wife of mine she's lovely I came home just the other night I said honey what's for dinner and she said what have you brought me and I said I've got a tombstone frozen pizza and she says well, why don't we have that for dinner? And I said because I I'm left it in

Mikko and she says we'll go out here John what so this is premise heavy hold on hold on I was writing this situation. I need to give you the full context so you understand her role It's also not very well to say that your wife was cook for you I didn't I'm a if you listen to the story. I have the pizza so said you brought home a tombstone keep going all right it was a red barren but tombstones are expensive Red bears are roughly Dollar cheaper What's a dollar keep going anyway, so I go out and do macar and open the

truck. What's a car? Stop it. Stop it. I want to finish the end of it. No, stop it. This is a little shit. She's got an internet. I said I said I was bringing up a frozen pizza and you're tri up on the fucking car. It's stupid. I eat it here with you. I'm sorry, I want a second date. I'm a Marion. This is a second date.

Yeah, I'm a flame. Ugh. I'm crying. I was delivered. I was delivered. I was delivered. I was delivered. I was delivered.

Finish your story. Anyway, we had a pizza for dinner. I love my wife. Blue. Blue. Oh, we had a pizza for dinner a lot more wife. See you. Boop! Oh, I'm crying. Okay, give us the most I've laughed in 2019. Give us the answer then.

Give us the answer. We're never gonna get it. Here's the answer to the case of the old ones. The murderer was in the process of robbing the pub and shot the victim to eliminate him as a witness. In fact, he'd already murdered the pub and shot the victim to eliminate him as a witness. In fact he'd already murdered the landlord and the cook. At which point one more body would hardly matter. The fellow was eventually apprehended at Port Smith Dox and Dooley Hung. I don't know why they'd tell us they cut the murder but nice little bow on this story. It's better than that one. It's better than they told us

they caught the murderous why don't I have to stay up all night worrying about him being out there? Yes, but what about Jack the Ripper? Yeah, you only give us prostitutes. He's not here this time. You have a serious? Oh, yes. Miss, yes. Fine.

He's not in this time. No. What? Uh, she's a fucking fictional actress. No, we don't know what year it is. Oh, wait. Oh, it's 18 PEPAPIG. Yeah.

PEPAPIG. It's 18 PEPAPIG. Uh, Adel speaking of 18 PEPAPIG, umEPAPIG. PEPAPIG. It's 18 PEPAPIG. Uh, Adel speaking of 18 PEPAPIG, um, don't we have some fucking live shows coming up? Uh, yeah. If you live in LA, we don't. Well, here's what you're gonna want to do. Okay. If people who don't live in LA move to LA, we'll wait.

Here we go. We'll wait. Go to LA. Become famous. Get in the car. Head out. Get in the go. We'll wait. Jason D'Ele. Becoming famous. Getting in car. Head out. Get in car. Move Telet.

Put C. Because on Sunday, May 12th, which is Mother's Day, at the Hollywood improv, Hey, Ritter Riddles is going to do a live show. I can't frickin' wait. We are pumped as fuck. I've never really been to LA. You've never been to LA? Not really, and I'm-

What does it mean not really? I mean, I was there for like a day one. So you were there, yeah. No, but I didn't get to really see it. I'm excited. Were mean not really? I mean I was there for like a day one So you were there, yeah, no, but I was it didn't get you really see it. I'm excited. I'm excited I just say can I just say as a little little special surprise for this mother's day show hand-to-hand mother's day show If you bring your mom I PC will date them. I do have a little surprise for a person a little a special person that might be attending that show Hmm a mom perhaps what the fuck Aaron? surprise for a person, a special person that might be attending that show. A mom for us.

What the fuck, Aaron? JPC, you said your mom was gonna be there. Yeah, my mom's gonna be there. This is real. JPC's mom will be there. And it's not like last time when she said, when the cubs win the pennant, I'll be there. I will meet my mom for the first time. Here's what you're gonna want to do.

If you're coming to the show, you need to this if not you need to buy tickets you can go to head gum.com, which is our slash live slash live Which is our network and they have live shows right there. You can buy tickets there What you're going to want to do please please please please please because it is mother's day and JPC's mom will be there Everyone in attendance. Please bring her a Clark bar. She loves Clark Now I told you she likes the Clark bus. Oh, the Clark bus, I'm so sorry. We also here in Chicago, so if you're in the Midwest,

you also get a chance to see us. We are. We are. That's where we actually live. There we go. We're going to have a show at Taliah Hall. This is part of Head Gum. Again, our wonderful network is doing a weekend of shows,

of live shows. So this is going to be at Taliah Hall, which is the coolest venue in Chicago. It's my favorite, Julie, my favorite. It's so cool. They have a punch bar in the basement. They have a duet set. Oh, where I poisoned myself once.

The most drunk in Hong Kong, I've ever been in my life. Oh, you have all poisoned yourself. Yeah, I went to Kishi Boshy with my friend, Haley Palmer, and we shared a thing in a half of punch, and I was hung over for three days. How much is a thing in a half? Like a picture in a half of that punch.

Carry on. And that's gonna be a Tully Hall, and you can buy tickets again at theheadgum.com-slashlive-site. And what date is that, O? That's gonna be, you took your mom's to CCNAA, now bring your daddies and poppies and come see us on Father's Day Sunday June 16th and I have a very special surprise for that show that show that is on Father's Day there will be a very special guest that's right I have

found my dad's killer and he or she I'm not gonna give it away will be an attendance at that show. So check that out. We're very excited. So yeah, that's what we have. I also want to mention that we did mention before, but I want to remind everyone, once we hit a 1,500 reviews on iTunes,

we are going to release an AMA episode. AMA for all you people over 30. It stands for ass. Yes, my ass. Ass, for ass. Yes, my ass. Ass, my ass. Ass, medical ass. A-tall must, at all. That is going to be, ask me anything.

So we're going to answer questions that people send us on Twitter. That's what we'll sort of get our questions. So go to iTunes right now. Please write and review us. Give us a five star review and help us glit, get closer to a thousand five star reviews. JPC, do you have anything to plug? Yeah, you can just follow me on Instagram at SharkBarkman.

You can see pictures of my spaghetti. And you can also follow me in person, just keep your distance. You don't want to alert me to your presence. Follow me at AaronKeeve10 on Instagram. I don't really tweet so I'm sorry if you you tweet at me. And yeah, follow me on Instagram. It's a private account but that's just to keep my ex lovers away. I've got so many skies bags and weird whums that I gotta keep them away. You can follow me at Adlerify. You can subscribe to our Patreon which is only $5 for a month of contents every Friday.

You're going to get double the Hey, Ritter Ritter episode. So please subscribe to our Patreon. We would really, really appreciate that and that helps us keep going and pay for everything we need to pay for and continue to put on content. And also you can come check out Hello for the Magic Tavern. We're going to be doing two shows at the Butler Arts Center Friday, August 2, during Gencon. So if you're going to Gencon, maybe pick up tickets for that at the Butler Arts Center site. We're going to be doing two shows in one night, 8 PM and 10 PM. We did that last year,

as a blast. We had Travels Back Roy, Stewart Wellington, some other guests, so please check that out. And I have one final case for Dr. Watson and Sherlock. Oh, joy. Oh, it's George. Sherlock. Isaac Newton helped discover space to some degree. Perhaps maybe it was Galileo. Galileo helped discover the telescope.

And of course, when Galileo first looked through the lens, he proclaimed exactly one quaird upon observing the night sky. Jupiter, I got one! sky Jupiter I got one no You Sorry, Erin Geven. And John Patrick Collins. Hey, this nighter busy headed in. I already parented the mid-media. Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemoris. But you're hate-risk-or-break-jummit.

That was a hit-gun podcast. The Brit-Gum!