Hey Riddle Riddle - #402: Imagining a Dune Buggy w/ Janet Varney

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

Y'all ever watch Dance Moms?Also, Happy April of the Penguins to all who celebrate. If you want to celebrate along with us, check out patreon.com/heyriddleriddle and look out for all our new merch dropping this Friday!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Janet VarneyEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. That's like the best warm-up in improv. That's the best warm-up in improv. Yeah, let's do it. But instead of doing numbers, let's just do random words association based on what the person right before you said and see if we could come up and make a theme.

Okay, so Adel, you're still counting us in with numbers. Okay. But then as soon as you're done counting us in, it's all words. Okay. Okay. Six, seven, eight. One? Two?

No, no, no. I thought you were doing words. You guys are supposed to do words. I know, but it's funny. She did T-O-O-O. That's exactly what I did. And I said, I said, one. What's the connection with Wad and two?

Mine was T-O, I was picturing. What's the connection between? Two-won-Foo. Thanks. Four. Zip. Everything. Zip.

Zip. Z-W. Two-one, four, three for everything. thing. That would great. Oh, well, I feel pretty adequately warmed up. Should we use that as the cold open for the episode? God, no.

Guys, I have a sneeze stuck in my face. It's so stuck. Now that I said it, now, maybe it's gone. Do you have pliers? Do I have pliers? Yeah, let me grab some pliers in a vacuum and I'll be back in 40 minutes. Just start tinkering. Aaron.

Oh, and welcome to Hayward of Redol the podcast. This is, I'm GPC. I'm Aaron. That's Janet, our fourth host. And that's Adel, our first host. Hi. Waving. Not saying anything, but waving.

I think we got to cut the numbering thing out of it completely. Well, that's Janet, a host. That's Addle, a host. Well, I feel more comfortable. Did you guys ever watch dance moms? Heard of, never watched. Is that where Honey Boo Boo is from? No, but, Adel, your associations are right on the money.

She's from toddlers and tiaras. It's basically the same thing. Is there a rapper from dance moms? Is there a rapper? No. Oh, Jojo Siwa is from dance moms. I feel like I'm talking to, like, my parents. You guys are just have some associations from this world.

Now, Erin, I will say I have no context for who Jojo Siwa is, but any time a video of her dancing in front of paparazzi comes up in my feed, I will make time to watch it. Yeah, of course. Because it is unbelievable. Anytime that crosses your desk, you're like, well, this is about to be insane. A thing happened on dance moms. Well, the concept of dance moms is it's this dance studio in like Philadelphia or whatever. Okay.

And there's this woman named Abby Lee Miller, who was a lunatic who ran this dance studio. And then it was all the dance moms and their kids who went to. this dance studio because they wanted their kids to be like stars. A dance mom is like a stage stage. Yeah, like a crazy stage mom. And so it was a lot of it, it felt like Real Housewives, but meets like a show where kids are dancing. And the kids are the chess piece pawns that they're playing with.

It's awful. The kids that are dancing, are they in competition? Are they doing like, and that's big competition like to do. Is it like solo dance? Solo dance, group dance, duo dances. Sometimes the girls won't get a solo because the mom, the, the, the, the, the, dance teachers mad at their mom. So they'll cut the solo because

the mom got mouthed. Like are they competing outside with the real world? They're competing outside with the real world. And they have to use songs that the show can afford. And they're doing way more competitions than they ordinarily would. So these girls are getting like six hours to learn these dances. Being thrown in the most offensive costumes you've ever seen doing these dance competitions. These are like pageants, right?

Like, they're like, I don't know if you've ever been. They're skill-based though. Yeah. Like these little girls are incredible dancers. And I think some of them are still professional dancers. Like they are very, very talented. Oh, the girl from like the Sia music videos, do you remember, chandelier? She's one of the moms from, or she's one of the moms.

She's one of the girls from dance mom. That's not one of the was. You just gave that mom the wish of her dreams. That Sia video adult, to blow your mind, 40 years ago. So she's in grandma now. So a big part of the show, dance moms that I think stayed in the zeitgeist is they would do a pyramid every week where Abby Lee Miller would rank how she felt about the girls. And it was a tiered system. No, but it wasn't a literal pyramid because there is a scenario in which dance kids are also cheerleader kids.

Yes, no. This pyramid is it's a mirror. It's the dance studio mirror. and she's put all of their headshots up. Oh, I hate this so much. With a piece of paper over all of them. And then she'd be like at the bottom of the pyramid, Chloe. Chloe, your mom was acting like a real bitch this week. You slipped during your cartwheel. I know you can do better.

And that's why you're at the bottom. Next up. Nia, you got cut from the group dance. And so all these seven-year-old girls have to metabolize being ranked with cameras in front of their moms. And obviously they can't regulate their emotions in this and it's a fucking nightmare mess. Do the moms ever fire back of like? They have, you know those like a watch. No, they took the on the chin.

You know those watchroom battle in like where people can watch surgeries? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. They have one of those but for the dance moms. So the mom stay for the whole rehearsals. And if they get so fired up, they storm down the stairs and they go in and Abby's like, get the hell out of my studio. It's like in the nick.

Yes. And then she's like, You can't talk to Paige like that. You can't talk to my daughter like that. Well, we'll leave. And she's like, great, leave. But what am I talking about? Is this show on the air anymore?

Aaron, is it gone? No, it would never fly today. Okay. It's in the Hague. Yes. And then also there's this woman who's even crazier than Abby Lee. She's from Candy Apple Dance Studios.

Candy Apple Dance. And her daughter hates to dance. And it's this shaker. experience thing where this woman is a lunatic and she makes her poor daughter dance. Her daughter hates to dance. I would not watch the show, but watch you describe each episode to me in person. I would love. I will start a YouTube channel that is me.

You can see me openly smoking weed and drinking a milkshake going like, here's the deal. One of my favorite reality TV clips of all time is from dance moms that I will send to you guys right now. And it is, Abby Lee, the crazy dance teacher, is on her cell phone during one of the girls' solos. And a mom comes up and whispers in her ear, like, you're such a hypocrite being on your phone. You always tell us not to. And it startles Abby so much that she, like, gasps.

And she's in a wheelchair at the time. And she reverses out of the wheelchair, out of the building. and then starts like speeding away. She starts speeding away from the cameras on her wheelchair. They're chasing her down the street. Aaron, not an accusation, not an accusation. Are you sure you didn't get high and start watching Benny Hill?

I think I might be watching Benny Hill. I think I got high and watched Benny Hill. And they're chasing her and she goes to the police station. And she says she. This escalated. This is a clip? Yeah, it's a clip of her going like, and Casey, you can put that here. No, I don't think we can.

Yes, he can. But legally, Aaron, I don't think we can. Well, Casey, we'll put a, you'll watch the clip, Casey, and then you can describe it. So here's Casey describing the clip. You just did that. No, I want you just did. This is Ted Hedged for. Hey, folks, it's your editor, Casey here.

I watched the clip, and it's pretty much exactly as Aaron described it. So there you go. It is so funny that she immediately, like, Anytime I get slightly startled, I want to zoom to the police station. She's in a wheelchair at the time. Now, painting a picture. Great qualifier. Erin, you seem to be absolutely smitten with reality dance shows.

Did you, were you a dance youth? I was a dance youth. I danced at a studio called Hazel Boone in Massachusetts. And what were the songs that you... Was the person's name, Hazel Boone? The original, the woman who made the studio's name was Hazel Boone, and then it was passed from daughter to daughter. And they, she was like a rock cat. So it was like a really tap dance forward dance studio, which is why...

I love Hazel Boone. Yeah, yes, exactly. Backed up off the piano. Tap dancing, slipped from the tattoos. Unfortunately, they couldn't use that song in the show. So they had to use row, row, row your boat instead. I will again be tap dancing to happy birthday But I love to say you think you can dance growing up

I still will go on YouTube and watch some of my favorite dances from that from time to time That janitor dance top notch Maybe I'll make a little list of them for the newsletter Anyway Janet, thank you so much for being here today I'm sorry I've spent all of our time with you describing dance moms Oh you startled me so much by putting the attention on me that I'm backing away my wheelchair quickly No, Ted please! The cameras can't keep up with you Well, you're not quite a breath.

I'm in a wheelchair. Janet, we have a decision to make. We've come to a point in the show where we have a decision to make. Okay. Now, that decision is not whether or not we start doing riddles. That's out of our hands. We're going to do that. That's going to happen.

Are we going to put the riddles in a pyramid at the end and reveal which riddle disappointed us most, I hope? I wanted to bring up a topic. Oh. Okay. Well, Janet, I got good news. We're not going to start doing riddles right now. We might do it a little bit later.

Adel, let's do it, Adel's topic segment. Let's see, do I have a... And now here's Adel. With the thing he wants to do. Ah, there we go. Thanks, Paul F. Tompkins. That's awesome. Wild that he popped in just to give that one line.

Now he's just hanging out on the Zoom here. Paul, you can, okay, yeah, just hang out. I want to bring up, is wheelchair the laziest named item in the world? This is a fantastic question, Adam. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty literal, right? There's got to be a better name. It is exactly what it is. Yeah. It feels like, do you know how like in foreign language? The only reason I know this is like I remember in Spanish class in high school, we were like, computer. What's computer in Spanish? And they're like, computer.

Like, everybody got computer at the same time. So we all just agreed on the word computer, you know? Yeah. It feels like one of those translations where it's just like, yeah, wheelchair. It's that. It's just that. Yeah. I was just trying to think because I'm doing my duolingo in French and I was just, I remember that wheelchair came up fairly recently and I think it's like fatai roulette, which is really just, yeah, like a wheel chair. Yeah. There are, I can, I keep thinking of examples where I think they just did a really bad job naming the thing. Like butterfly is not lazily named. It's just wrong on all accounts. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on with that? Why is it called a butterfly?

Probably, it's always Charles Butter. You, like, look it up and you're like, okay, Charles Butter. Is it because it spreads its wings? So the first one. Interesting. Raincoats pretty lazy. Sunglasses are pretty lazy. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Well, what would you like sunglasses to be called, if not sunglasses? Logflum. Oh, yes. Or a wheelchair. Butterfly. I was going to say, that's what I would have named butterfly. Okay. Oh, please.

No, is your segment done? My segment's done. Okay. And that was Adel was something that he said. The other one that I always forget that I have is I always, I have the, Wish I was in this. So I can't really use it with Janet's here, but I forget that I could use that in other contexts. So maybe one day it'll make an appearance.

Okay, Janet, back to your very important choice. Would you like for us to do on the show today? some listener submitted riddles or that are just, I mean, themless, they're just listener submitted riddles. Or would you rather do the continuation of some animal pun raid riddles that are based on crafting animal puns? Or, I'm suspecting you might be. Oh, we spend the rest of this episode with me describing various episodes of dance moms. Yeah.

I mean, that's always our third choice. That's always available. It's always available. It's just sitting out there. Sitting out there. It's like the sweater, but it's just me trying to remember all the names of the moms on dance moms. We do an impromptu review crew where Aaron is the only one who has watched dance moms and it was probably 12 years ago. It sounds like me at every sleepover.

Clearly very into it. I'm starting to suspect you might be old man puzzles. Okay. Hard to put my finger on what's giving me that impression. The deduction wheels are already turning for chance. So she's got a head start at the Rital Answersing Department here. Yeah. What do you think she's going to pick?

Should we make a bet? Does it have to be one or the other? We can't like do the first half is and then the second half is the other one? Erin, if I know. Is that burning through two episodes? Let me think she loves a good pun. I don't know, bitch. I did not say that.

Aaron. Come on. I hate yours. I for sure. you didn't say that. Okay, let's see. At this time. Aaron, Keith. Um, no, you know what? We can, we can absolutely piggyback and forth. I think that that's a great call. Why don't we start with some animal puner. Pigback and Forth sounds like a pun. Also, how piggyback do we see, is that a sec? Is that a pig sex thing? I'm just realizing right now, since we're talking about why things are named what they are,

when you say I'm going to piggy, like you're giving someone a piggyback ride? When have we ever seen a pig riding on another pig unless it's sensual? I think a piggyback is a, um, shot of Jameson and a shot of bacon, I believe. That's where the original term came from. That's where pickleback came from and then we dropped the... What's another, what's that Nickleback song that I could do a pickle joke with? And it doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter.

Look at this photograph. That's a nickelback, right? Yeah, I always get them in creed and confused. We're arms right open. Same cadence. You guys might remember these animal pun raid riddles. They were submitted by Ted with two Ds. And the way that they go, and this is an example that we have used before, but it's, I would say like, this mammal thinks that getting its fur trimmed will stop people from thinking it's a rabbit.

And that is a haircut, haircut. So it's going to get you to like a, it's going to get you to a word. And that word is going to have the animal's name in it and. the action that the sentence is describing it. Okay? JPC, I'm so sorry to interrupt you right before you're about to launch off into riddle space. Say launch off. I don't know.

I heard the countdown and that you're about to launch into a riddle. Pickyback originated in the 16th century from the phrase pick pack or pick a pack, which means meant carrying something on your back in shoulders. By the 19th century, it's one of those things that people shortened so much that it became colloquially known as a piggyback. That's like a hippieback. Yes. Interesting. Yeah. So it really is just a totally different, just completely different words. It's because of all the mumblers, all the mumblers before me. I'm from a great line of mumblers. So we have ruined the English language. Is there a fairy tale where someone or like a myth or something like that where someone like carries a pig on their back to market or something like that? Isn't that some. I have a very clear mental image of that from like a children's fairy tale book.

Are you thinking about this little piggy went to market? Are you thinking about your toes? Are you thinking about your toes? I think I looked at the Kama Sutra and I saw someone with their toes behind their back and I thought, oh, yeah, it's picking his piggies to market. Now, we are going to get to these riddles. But is there something in dancing with the dogs? Aaron, it's like people paired with dogs and they have to learn to dance with the dog. I will watch it every week.

watch. Okay. I will watch it every week. I mean, I dance reality TV show. I'm in. I dance with my dog a lot. I already dance with my own dog. We could be competing.

Here's the thing. I know the ethics of some of this stuff is kind of out the window. But is it ethical to dance with your dog for a TV show? Because you have to do a lot of. Like, like, dog show like, where they do that the obstacle. And those are fine? We've all agreed that those are fine, right? The enchanted pig.

is a Romanian fairy tale And a prince takes a form of a pig I doubt that's what you're thinking of But maybe Prince takes a form of a pig Why does he do that? That's the most backhanded compliment

I've ever heard someone that calls What an enchanted pig Thank you It takes the form of a pig Okay Well Aaron is I'm on it Well Aaron is looking that up

We're romancing the pig We'll start We'll start with these animal pun raids from Ted. These mammals took full advantage of their position as the only primates on Madagascar. Leberders. Took full advantage of their position. Leveragemer. Leamer court advantage.

No. Leberidge. Adel, you have it. Leverage. Limeridge. Limeridge. It's limeridge. That can't be right.

That can't be right. Does it form a real word? So the word is leverage, which was Adel got and lemur, and it forms the word lemurage. So it doesn't form a real word. It's a, what I am, like a pun on, I don't know. It's not, yeah. I would like to see a scene. Sure.

Janet and Adel, you are two lemurs that have been brought to a zoo here in America. and you really were in Madagascar and you were sort of the king of the castle and it's your first day of school and you're kind of meeting the other animals and you realize that you might not have the lemurage that you had before. And JBC you can play whatever animal you want. Got it. Oh, this looks pretty weird. This doesn't seem like a fun little parade.

I gotta tell you something. This is everybody's eyes here are a lot less wide and scared. looking than ours. Yeah, great. And I'm afraid we're going to be made fun of. I really hope that's not the case. Yeah, let's blend it. Let's blend.

Oh, here comes someone. Blondin, blend in. Hey, cheeseburger. Hey, my regular friend, I see. Corvettes. Chocolate. Are you talking to me? Pepsi Cola, buddy.

You're in my tree. I was going to eat the leaves out of this tree. You're in my tree. Oh, this tree? This tree here? I didn't realize this was a tree. I thought this was a bank Like you guys go to

Are you two new? Huh? Yeah. Guy. Don't tell anybody This is our first day here in America. Oh, okay. Hey, okay.

Well, hey, I was actually, I was born in captivity. So I can kind of give you the lay of the land if you want. So you guys are monkeys? Lemurs. Okay, cool, cool. Party monkeys. Kind of a lie.

Party monkeys. Yeah. Well, you're in a giraffe enclosure. So, first of all, you're in the wrong place. Typically, what I suggest for new people is... Oof, these giraffes look sick. What is wrong with those giraffes? Yeah.

Need Pepsi Cola. America. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man. Don't get them throwing Pepsi Cola in here, okay? I just got down to my ideal giraffe weight. If you fucked this up with me. See. Oh my God

I saw a video the other day of a giraffe being born Because they're so tall right Like that's the whole thing with giraffes And it's like any animal Wait why did you see this I was at the zoo and they had like a A video of a giraffe being born In the giraffe enclosure

Here's what I noticed Previously on zoo But they were The draft when it gets bored It just falls It just like falls out of the other draft. It flumps out. And within three seconds.

And then it's like an adult draft that can run around and play cards and stuff. It's running like five minutes later. But it is so funny because it's like it doesn't, it don't land well. They're fine. Like that's, they were designed. And their gestational period is like a year and a half. It's, it's pretty long. But it is so funny.

Just watch something get bored. It just fall out and splat like hit the ground. It'd be like, well, it's my kid. All angles. Why are humans so helpless when we're born? I guess because we can be. It's because of our big brains. Our big brains take most of the development time, and most animals don't need brains as big as humans.

They can develop like muscles and stuff like that where we spend all of our time developing brains. Huh. Not me, though. I don't know what I was doing. If human hips were wider, we could gestate longer. Like elephants gestate for like two years and giraffes for a long time as well. Why aren't our hips wider? Hey, Aaron, you're preaching to the goddamn choir here.

Okay, all right. I'll take my answer off line. You know what I'm saying? No, I have no idea. Blame God. I don't know. I always do. Here's the next one. This reptile can hide its body by changing colors, but not its love for sleepy herbal tea.

Oh, wait, a reptile. Camamillion. At all. Addle. I'm taking it. I am unfortunately getting way too deep into the science of this because I had to stop short and go, isn't it an amphibian? Or maybe a chameleon, I guess a chameleon's a reptile. I'm an idiot.

You know what? You needed to cook your brain longer. I needed to cook my brain longer. If you give me most animals and say 50-50 between reptile and amphibian, I'm getting 50% of that test right every time, baby. I'm in the same boat. Some manner for sure amphibious. I think the best way to remember is can it be in water? Welcome back to Amphibian.

Wait, Ted, Ted, Ted did it. I'm going to add a quick, spontaneous one. This, and this can be really hard for you guys to guess, this member of politics is taking advantage of its ability. to keep something from being discussed or passed while in a session. Salah gerrymander. Yeah, I mean, my understanding is you could just say salamandering, and that's just the squashing of two things together.

Salamandering. Did I do it, Ted? Well, I would like to see a scene. GPC, we will have you be salamandering. We, we the people. Yeah, we the people. We're going to see you do that. And you're very passionate.

And Adel, you are sort of the speaker and you're trying to get him to knock it off so we can continue with other animal business. And so... When you cut us, do we not bleed? When it gets cold, do we not fall out of trees? I'd like to reclaim my time. When our tail gets cut off, do we grow? Another tail? Can I get another minute back?

On the clock, I would like to reclaim my time. It sounds like he's asking what he is. Are our tongues not pretty quick? Do we not eat a bug? If we see a bug. Can someone stop that trumpeting? It's a trumpeter swan. They're allowed to do this.

I would like to reclaim my time. See it. No, you're never getting that time back. Aaron, I would like to see a scene. Oh, wow. Five to ten seconds. Okay. Of you being Mr.

Camillian Bean. So it's Mr. Bean as a It's going to be completely silent. Yeah. Ready? It's just for the three of you. Or Casey as well. See.

It was just seen. I feel like he throws in a lot of like, oh, yeah. I did. I wanted to do one of his. That's Yoda. That's true.

That's Yoda. That's Yoda. He does. He does make Yoda sounds, though. It is true. There is no meat. Okay, Adel, I want that on my desk by Monday morning. I hope you didn't have plans this weekend.

You can have it on your desk now. You can keep it. You can keep this original. No, I don't want it. You take it. Nope. This is, despite having a long, awkward horn, this small whale can still perform some sick surfing tricks.

Narn. Narl. Narl. Narlie whale. Narlie wall. Narlie wall. It's gnarly wall. That's awesome.

Who got there first? Was that you in? I said it, but I said gnarly whale, so I'm disqualified. I would like to see a scene. That is a disqualification. Yes, I understand. Aaron, you are gnarly Wally. So you're like Wally, the robot, but you're like a surf.

You've only watched, like, point break. You know how Wally just watched, like, classic movies. You know. Well, this gnarly Wally watched Point Break. I'm fucking dying. My brain's moving so slow today that I literally from my computer saw the scene concept coming at me and it was like, bloop. And Janet, you are, you're interacting with this robot you just found in the dump, which is Aaron's robot. Wow, this thing has been pretty big connection.

What happens if I... Mr. Bean? Are you on? What? Surf's up. What? Surf's up. Why are you sound so frail? Maybe if I just dust you off a little bit and Leah, cough out some of those banana peels, some of those dump banana peels. Bring me to the water. I want to shred one more time.

Oh, we are in Iowa. my friend, I don't know how you got all the way to this dump. Not Iowa. I'm saying we're in a dump. Patrick Swayze. I'm not saying I was a dump. Patrick Swayze. Patrick.

Oh, we could watch Dirty Dancing. I could take you back to my place and we could watch dirty dancing. No. Okay. You seem real needy. I'm going to go ahead and just accidentally kick you over and put some more trash on you. One of them's a cop? What's my break about?

They're surfing cops. Yeah, yeah. I think Keanu Reeves is an undercover cop. What do you mean shrug? JPC show me. Oh, wait, I forgot. I'm here with JPC. Hey, JPC. You're like a Jeff Garland type, like a wallet. Nixon mask. And then someone, they shoot up a bank. Starting to feel like, oh, guess, you're either clairvoyant or this is charades.

And then what happens? They shoot someone from the, oh, they shoot at the plane. We cut to three weeks later. Ladies and gentlemen, please Welcome to Ames, Iowa Community Theater. Please Place is a dump. Get out, get out, sir.

Please give a round of applause for... No, we're doing it in a dump, right? Yes, it is in the dump. Please give a round of applause for these robots who are putting on a production of Point Break. Stick them up! This is a bank robbery at the beginning of the movie Point Break. I am not a crook

What is this movie about? Johnny Utah I don't know how to quit you Johnny 5 is alive On stage Let's see Aaron have you seen a point break Yeah like a million years ago

Let's see Former Ohio State quarterback and rookie FBI agent Johnny Utah The best name I saw this for the first time recently I had never seen it president oh i see i see uh janet what what caused you to want or i shouldn't say want what caused you to watch boy break yeah i feel like it was for something sure which is so true of so much in the

comedy podcast space i think i like needed to watch it to have seen it to discuss it on something jpc i did remember this right it's like undercover cops infiltrating the surfer community and then he gets to deep in right yeah but that's Yeah, but that's what I guessed. And there's also skydiving, I want to say? Well, yes, they are skydiving because they're thrill junkies. Yeah, the thrill junkies. Either Gary Beasier or Nicknulty, one of those guys.

The way, who? Either Gary Beacy or Nick Nulties. Can we watch it for review crew and Janet, you come back with pleasure. Thank you, Janet. Let's watch, because they remade it as well, and it's not as good. But let's watch Point Break, and we won't tell each other which one we're watching, and then we'll just try to compare notes. Love.

Is it, is it, there was someone in point break. Is Joey Pants in point break? That sounds right. Who's Jelly Pants? Joey Pantiliano. Come on, Joe. I'm sorry, Joey Pantiliano. I also, I know his name is Joey Pantiliano.

Does he call himself Joey Pants? I think he might. I've only ever heard of him as Joey Pants. I think he might. Yeah. I think he leaned into that. He might have started it. I could be misremembering this, but I thought that Joey Pants,

gave himself a bigger role in that movie than he should have had. You're right. He was supposed to, there was some movie he was in where he, famously, this is a story I've heard many times and I can't remember all of it, but he was in a movie where he was supposed to die and in the scene, he gets shot

and he starts screaming and screaming and screaming instead of dying, and they yell cut and he's still screaming. And then the director's like, what are you doing? And he goes, just in case you want to bring me back. Yeah. Maybe it's a fugitive or something?

Oh, you know what? I think it's the fugitive. I don't think he's in point break. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Melissa has two daughters. It's Maddie and Kenzie, and they're both answers. And then Christy is blonde, and her daughter is Chloe. And then Holly, who's a elementary school principal.

In case you just fade this one ever because this is how we go to break. This is how we go to break. So just fade it with it every you want. It also has two girls, broken page. And then I think it's Kathy who's from candy apples, who's not. nuts. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Ho-hum, boo-hoo, woe is me.

What's going on? Mr. Needs attention. I love it. Well, I do need attention, and I'm not getting enough of it. So I thought I would kind of build myself a website so that people could give me the attention that I deserve, but I don't know how to build a website. Oh, Mama, tell me you're using Squared. The all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online? Oh, yeah, that's Squarespace. Doesn't Squarespace give you everything you need to offer services and get paid all-on-one place from consultations to events and experiences, showcasing your offerings with customizable

website design to attract clients and grow your business? Can't you get paid on time with professional on-brain invoices and online payments, plus streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools on Squarespace? Yes. JPC, big time. Also, Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Great way to get attention. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. Okay, guys, I just made a new website. It's look at jpc247.com, where you can look at me every day, all day, on

line. Wow, that seems to be like a zoo camera for kangaroos. For kangaroos, it's JPC. Man, I'm beautiful, aren't I? Look at my pouch. Look at my Joey. You have a pouch. You have a Joey. Well, if you want a pouch and a Joey, head to... Head to... Keep this.

Leave it in. Leave it in. Leave it in. Leave it in. Head to Squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace does not endorse you having a pouch or Joey. Wait, guys, are we kangaroos? I almost said Ribbet, and I wasn't even kidding. That's not what I mean.

That is not what I mean. I'm going back to bed. Hey, Aaron, hey, JPC. Can you guys help me figure something out? Oh, sure. Always. I have this charge. I pull up my bank account here.

I have this charge that says JPC tax $5,000. It's like a monthly deduction? Oh, I, yes. No, no, I, Adel, go to your Rocket Money app and have them cancel that for you. Oh, thank God. We signed up for the free trial like three months ago, and then we forgot about it. And I noticed it. I got like a ping from Rocket Money in my email, and they let me know that I'd been paying for...

Lost another one to Rocket Money. Oh, man. Yeah, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. so you can grow your savings, unless you're me with the GPS tax and then your savings are dwindling. With Rocket Money, you can do automatic transaction categorization across your accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns and add context. Also, if you have like in a big event coming up like something that, like a wedding or some monumental expense,

it helps you plan and save for something like that. The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view. of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years and years, way before they were ever a sponsor. And I love how easy it is to read and how intuitive it is. Yeah, I love Rocket Money.

But Aaron, I do hate that voice. Was that JPC? It sounded like a Rumpel-Stiltskin type voice. Did you hear that? Yeah. No, so that's just like, that's a voice alert I have on my phone every time someone unsubscribes to the JPC tax.

I don't know where it's from or how to turn it off. Oh. That's kind of scary. I'll get with that later. Yeah. Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

RocketMoney. Dot com slash riddle. Lost another one to Rocket Money. Yeah, that's not even coming from your phone. Yeah. Is that coming from inside of our heads maybe? Yeah, like heaven maybe. Yoikes, blokes.

Hey, Adel, Aaron, I am freaking out. Okay, so I just got an email from, do you guys know Casey, the editor of the show or whatever. Oh, yeah. Sleepo? Yeah, sleepo. Oh, my God. Thanks so you know. I got an email from him that says he hasn't been paid in seven years. And yeah, I'm kind of wondering. And I know that I'm in charge of all that, but like, between like expenses and like income and what's going on with the business, it's just like, it's just too much for me, you know? Well, let's make it easy. Let's just use Found. Found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that

handles it all, paying Sleepo, dealing with Found Dracula, who's sort of a Dracula that uses Found, banking, bookkeeping, etc. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. Found identified the tasks that create the most

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Plus, they have this vampire named Found Dracula, and that guy, he knows what he's doing. No, guys, we don't have to keep talking about them. Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love. I personally, now that I'm using Found, my life is so much easier. I don't have to juggle multiple apps. I don't have to go chasing receipts. I don't dread tax season anymore.

I have a Dracula that will suck the blood, I want to say, out of an editor who is asking to be paid. You want to say? I want to say. So take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's f-o-u-n-d-d.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member F-T-I-C.

join the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with Found. You're getting sleep. Okay. Guys, I'm getting an email from the brand. They say they never authorized Found Dracula. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm not official. I'm just a Dracula who uses Found.

I could swear that they wanted us to use you. Could have sworn that they were desperate for us to do this. I'm from Bank Transcendant. I'm from Bank Transfervania. I'm from Milwaukee. Sorry, I'm just looking at myself in the mirror. You guys, I don't think I really like my clothes right now. I think I need a spring refresh.

Oh, Aaron, what kind of stuff are you looking for? Yeah. Like stylish, timeless pieces, maybe like a raincoat and like a cashmere, like sweater that's like transitional from winter to spring. Oh, Aaron, I would not wear a cashmere sweater over a raincoat. It's going to get absolutely ruined if there's rain. I'm putting it together.

That's not what you meant. Okay. Aaron, have you heard about Quince? Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and they're insanely soft, flown-inid, active wear fabric. They have linen pants and shirts that are lightweight, reasonable, and comfortable, basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined, so you look put together

without trying too hard. Aaron, is that what you're going for? Yeah. Okay. Well, Aaron, also, you silly goose, the best part about Quince is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? You're screaming at me.

Aaron, please stop screaming. How? Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and it makes getting dressed easy. I have a purse from Quince that I have people stop me when. I'm walking around L.A. to ask me where I get it because it looks very expensive, but it's not. It's going to like last me years and years. I also have a ring from there that I love.

They've got home stuff that's timeless and awesome, incredible rugs, curtains. They've got baby stuff. They've got baby stuff that I purchased. That's very cute. E! So why don't you do yourself a favor and refresh your wardrobe with Quince? Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to QU.I. I N-C-E dot com slash riddle for free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash riddle. Aaron, you're wearing your purse. You should. And actually, you're pulling it off.

And I look incredible. Candy Apples is just the most perfect name for a dance studio of a nuts person. Yeah, if I walked into a place called Candy Apples Dance Studio, and it wasn't just like a man sitting on a folding chair being like, this is a front. We leave. This is, we're money laundering. I'd be like, oh, no, you're right. Yep, got it.

Good on you. That's so fucking funny. Front should do that. It's just a guy reading a newspaper going, oh, no, sorry, this is money laundering. Okay, here we are. We're going to do more of these animal pon raids. We created a research facility to figure out why this is the most popular dog breed in America. Golden Receiver.

Lab. Labradoodle. Lab Labdudor. You've got the dog, Janet. Lab. Dog, dog, dog lab. Yeah. We created a research facility. A laboratory.

Laboratory. Labrador. That's, yeah. Labrador. I was working on a dog. No one's got the combo word yet, but it's everyone's circling it. It's Labrador. in laboratory.

How do we think we can follow those? Labradori. This says Ellen DeGeneres is. Labradoratory. Labradoratory. A labradoradoratorator. Labradoratorie.

I'm going to go ahead and say boo. I would live in a labradoratory. I'm going to go ahead and say boo. Boo. Can I use some of your shampoo? Here's your next one. It sounds like Stephen Wright is a ghost. This small rodent exhibited great honor and nobility when it pulled a thorn from a lion's paw.

A mouser size. It's a mouser size. It's a mouse, but it, great honor and ability when it pulled a thorn from a lion's paw. It did something out of the goodness of its own heart. You could say that it was mousetastic. Mouse It's not mouse-tastic Mouse is actually the end of this word

So if you get the first part of the word It's going to throw mouse at the end Courage mouse Um Not Holly out of mouse stick Don't laugh at that one That one felt really good at

Yeah The word After lemurage I think Which I think was the lemur hemorrhage or something I think anything is To use the example of haircut

to have these be these I will say this one's actually pretty close the end of the word that you're looking for does

kind of sound like mouse Faye mouse It's not Faye mouse But you're on the right track with like that kind of end of the last end of the word

at all doing something out of the goodness It's a big word It's a flowery word Dillotory mouse It's It's kind of like, what's lava called when it's under the ground? Magma.

Okay, so. Magnetimouse. It's magnanimous. Oh, God. Magna mouse. That one hurts. But again, that one, it kind of sounds like magnanimous. Like, Magnanimus is just Magnanimous without the E.

Magnanimous. That's maybe the best one so far. Okay. Well, hey, we still have like five more. Ted dida knew what he was doing. Dida? Ted dida knew that this. about creating scene opportunities

and the riddle is a byproduct at best. Yeah, that's true. And I'm on board for that. Okay, here's your next one from Tedda. This large wild cattle will happily give you the scoop on what's going on around town.

Ice cream bison. I got into scoop. I'm sorry. Oxy-Oxon-free press. That's awesome, Adel. That's awesome. That's oxen. That's oxen free press.

Gossip? It's not gossip. I don't think we've had the animal yet. News, the new. New. Cows. News. Just G-N-U.

It's not new. New news. That's amazing. News actually fucks. That works so well. You actually get a gold star for achievement and you can take the rest of the riddle off. Oh my God. Can you repeat the question?

The riddle? Yeah, it's this large wild cattle. I'll stop there and help you get in. Bison. It's not bison. I got to tell you from the sidelines, I am floating on a pool noodle drinking of Bartles and James right now. I love taking the rest of the riddle off. Buffalo down?

It's Buffalo down. It's Buffalo down. Addle, thank God you're here. Thank God. Thank God you. Thank God you're here, Adel, to get Buffalo down for us. I do want to see a scene. Adel, you are going.

to be, we're like animals at like a watering hole, but you're the animal that has like all the hot gossip and every other animal is like trying to like get you to like, you know, spill what's what the tea is. Ooh, what do we have here? Water, water, water. I'm thirsty. Okay. Dip my tongue in, lap it into my throat.

I heard, hey, Terry, Terry. What's up? I heard that the Impala. I heard that the Impala's, no, I shouldn't. Water, water, water, leaps them into my mouth. Gulp, cup, gulp. All right, bye everyone. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, what?

What? What? Oh, you heard something? What'd you hear? Oh, my God. Jeff. Jeff, are you trying to sort of. I heard that the Impala's have been farting into each other's mouths.

You didn't hear this from me. Jeff. Bye everyone. No, Jeff, hold on. Hello. We got a question. Are you trying to get us to talk about it? anything but last night.

Or of wars of war, huh? I just feel like you're kind of wanting the gossip to be sort of off of you. Like you walked over here kind of, I was at home last night the whole time. Sorry, I just been over here laughing. Hi, you know, what's up? Trish, hey, Trish. Hey, what's up, Jeff? Jeff, we weren't all talking about you when you came up.

Like last night was last night. Everyone gets drunk on their birthday and makes mistakes. gossip about me. Okay, this is news. Oh, yeah, some of the news are, we're talking about it as well. They said guilty is charged. They've been gossiping about you, Jeff. Oh, God. Oh, Jeff.

What did I do? I kind of browned out and that I... Oh, well, then we don't have to remind you. I think that then that's fine, right? No, we should, we should remind, I mean, we should let him know. It's, we should let him know because he's... He needs to probably... Emotionally process the embarrassment.

Yeah. He called your ex, your mom's name, and you called your mom your ex's name. And then you called both. Oh, no. Oh, no. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. What's an iceberg?

I don't know. See. We just say that phrase. Does anyone know why we say that? What, from the 16th century? All right, here's your next one. When he and his brethren fell from heaven, they did so in flying V formation. Satan goose.

You're not there with Satan goose, but you're-L-Zal-Gus. You're so close. I just watched the squirrel, a squirrel in my tree just fell out of the sky. What? Right after you said that. And it dropped like 15 feet straight onto another tree. I think it's fine. Did it bounce?

We summoned Bielza goose and then the animals have been dying. Oh, no. Do you want to go check on it? I'm so sorry. No, I mean, I can see that the tree down below because it's a hillside is like wiggling and moving. Like it's fine. But I've never seen a squirrel just fall through the air like it. dead weight the amount of like feet.

Yeah. So sorry. Janet, you don't like that story. One, it's going to give me the best dream I've ever had tonight. And also made me realize the answer is probably Goosephifer. It's Goosephor. It's Goosephor. It's so funny.

It's goose. I want to see the whole Bible depicted in animal form. I would like to see a scene. You don't. You don't because that is something that exists probably. It's Goosephor, but it's also geesis. geese is priced I would bet dollars to the donuts

that Untitled Goose Project was originally called Gooseifer Goosephor. I'd like to see a scene. Are you sure? Mary Mac the Goose. I am sure. Adel, you are goose or no, I'll have JBC, you'll be Goosephifer. Adel, you are going to hell as a human

and you're surprised that the devil is goose. What the fuck, Aaron, just give me a character. No, no, no. You're not you. Not you. But a version of you. Oh. What the last thing I remember I was climbing my tree and I fell and I, my, what, I've hurt my. Hello? Hello.

Oh. Oh, you're also dead? What? No, I'm very much alive. Oh, is this? Well, as much as one could be alive. Welcome to my domain. Heaven?

guess again. I'll give you two shots. A little hell joke. Pergatory? No, it's hell. It's hell. I guess when you said hell joke, I should have assumed. Yeah, yeah. No worries, though. Uh, hold on. You are a human?

Yeah, I'm an adult. Okay, yeah, no, I can see that. Which is human-esque. When you died, you said you fell out of a, you would say you fell out of a tree? Yeah. I was going to say I fell down, but I... Did you see if there was anything below you when you fell? No, I wasn't...

Here's what happened. Here's what happened. Okay. You probably fell on a goose. And the souls got intertwined and switched a little bit. Because this is goose hell. I'm Goosefer. Well, those are trumpet swans.

Yeah. They know what they did. Please help me. They know what they did. I know what they did. Everything should have its own hell, right? I would like them to be one big thing. It's true because hell is not different from other.

So it's all, it's all siloed. Hell is all siloed. Is heaven still just a free for all? Or do all dogs go to dog heaven? It's just dogs and Mormons, I believe, are the only ones up there. There's three tiers in Mormonism. One is for dogs. Tom's and Mormons, I guess we won't have

by dancing with the dogs. Is Mormonism the one where you get your own planet when you die? Yeah. Well, I mean, one of, I'm sure many. I'm sure many religions give you your own planet. When they saw morbidism was doing it, like all the other religions were like, this weekend only.

Sign up to be a Lutheran and you get your own planet. This weekend only. First, hundred ladies through the door to your own planet. Shout out to all you all the United States out there. again, I am a lapsed woman, so at my lapsed, that's probably

putting it strongly. You can be back. You can be back one day, right, Janet? I'm sure they would take me back. I have missionaries show up in my house all the time, having no idea how they got my address. Bless them. Is that, right? Are you on some sort of former Mormon list where they, or are they just showing up in your neighborhood?

I would have to get myself officially excommunicated. Mama, mom and list. Is that one of Teddits? Tedditt is? Yeah. The next one was going to be form a Mormon. Pick a back. I remember in college, you could get the Mormons called on you if you went to the

Latter-day Saints like website or whatever and then put in like one of your friend's address and said, I'm interested in. This is like the most tame version of swatting. Yeah, you're like Mormon swatting people. I call the Mormon SWAT team on my friend. You know what it was? It wasn't even that. What it was was was, was you could get them.

to send you a copy of the... Book of Mormon. I'm going to say Mormon Bible. Close up. They have a better name for it. Book of Mormon. Book of Mormon. Like the play.

Musical. They would send you the Book of Mormon for free. Anyone could get it. Like, you could just request it. So if you're interested in seeing like, what the heck's in this thing? But then they would have your address. And then they would also send some missionaries out just to like triple check. You don't want to like swing on in and get your own planet.

Yeah. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun to swap people with the board. It's horrible. fun. Here's your next one. This Arctic mammal

has developed a serious mental disorder as a result of global war. Bipolar bear. Bipolar bear. Sell polar bear. Sell polar bear. Every single one of us.

We are all mentally ill. We are going to get there quick. Yep. We're going to get there. Quick. I do what to see is a Erin, you're polar bear in therapy.

Great. Janet, you are the only therapist available in the North Wall. Oh my God. Welcome to therapy. Would you like to sit on my lap? No, thank you.

Sorry, I was trying to get a last-minute appointment. I had a really bad panic attack the other day at work, and I just thought that this would help. Would anyone like some cookies? Oh, thank you, honey. It's going to be a private session. Oh, private session. Oh, sounds a little sexy.

Okay, the Clauses, famous swingers. Guys, I really am here for therapy. Yeah, honey, get out of here. That's super inappropriate and, like, probably against the law. Oh, okay. I'm sorry for a little bit. I'll see you guys at the bar later, maybe for something else, but for now. Great.

Let's keep those things separate. Well, they'll start building a condom. Okay. I'm sorry, I forgot that an elf was right underneath me. You got to get out of here, too, Scrapples. Okay. Scrapples, I'll see you at the candy. bar later.

So I just feel like sometimes in a snowstorm, like I disappear. Do you know what I mean? I can't see myself anymore. Like I don't even recognize myself. And if you had to categorize that behavior as either naughty or nice, what do you think you would be? Well, that's the thing is I want it.

In those moments, I want to be nice. But I feel like I'm kind of no one in those moments. Like I kind of disappear. You know what, I think might solve it. I think just go to the bar later and have it a bunch of sex. You said it, not me. It was swinging with people. You're right.

That's probably the best solution to my emotional problem. Hey, what will it be? Let me guess. Coca-Cola? Hey, man, fuck you. I want a Bud Light, please. Can I get a Coke? Make that too.

Hey, we don't serve your kind Coca-Cola's here. Oh, fair straight Coca-Cola. See? See. That is one of the most memorable Christmas commercials. Oh, yeah, when Santa fucks the polar bear? I feel like that is, as far as my life goes, that is the first time I was, I guess, aware of ASMR. Before ASMR was labeled was the polar bear commercials because they drink, much like Mr. Bean, they drink the Coke and they're like, ooh.

Right? Those are commercials you're thinking of? I don't remember the. making ASMRI sounds. I don't, I don't remember that. I remember, like, the crisp, like, I feel like they did a lot in the lab to get the crisp, like, Coke bottle coming off. Well, that's still a, yeah, that's still, yeah.

I thought you were going to say it was your first awareness of, like, CG. Oh, maybe. Hopefully you would have known about CG before that. And it, yeah. With the Budweiser Frogs' puppets? They must have been puppets, right? Those are actors. Those were actors.

Those were actors. They actually have a wall in Washington, D.C. With their names on it. Those are heroes. Are we talking about the same commercials? The Bud, Wise, Er. Oh, okay. We moved to a different commercial.

I got you. Yes, I'm sorry. I was trying to think of my first instance of seeing CG in commercial. All those Kleinsdale's, those are all CG, right? Oh, I hope. They don't make horses that big. right? Please, God, tell me they don't make horses that big.

Oh, are Clydesdale's exclusive to Budweiser? Can no one else, if like Dodge Durango wanted to have horses at a commercial, could they have Clydesdales? Or is that, is that horse only? You'd probably be stupid, but I don't think that they can own an animal. I mean, I think if you can trademark animals, you could trademark humans. And, you know, Apple could be like, no other humans can be in commercials. And then you'd all be. I guess so.

Yeah. Yeah, I just don't think I've ever seen anyone else do a, like, Mr. Clean can do a commercial. It's just Clydesdale's if they wanted to, right? Like, that's. Yeah, no, Mr. But Mr. Clean can't be in like a subway commercial. I know the commercial's going to have both men in them. It would be cool if he were.

You can't license Mr. Clean to also just eat a Subway sandwich. And at the end it's just subway, you're like, are they going to talk about Mr. Clean at all? Like the process? You guys, I thought we booked Mr. Bean. He becomes too clean The Charmin bears are just like in the force They're like Do you know that you could bet on presidential elections with Cal She?

They're like, huh, interesting And you're like, what the fuck did I just see? What the fuck was that? And the Kebler-Els are like, up here, up here Scrapples Now the brawny guy and Mr. Clean are fucking, right? Oh, yeah, maybe not each other. Just a picture it.

They're definitely out there fucking. just kind of running through it. Here's your next one. I do want to see a scene real quick. Oh, God. We're going to see a commercial for, this is a commercial for orange juice. And the three of you, Janet, Aaron, and JPC,

you're each going to enter at some point as a very famous mascot or spokesperson for a different brand. Got it. Oh, let me go into the fridge here. See what we have to drink. Milk, no water. Oh, orange juice.

Yum. I'm drinking some now. All done with the orange. That's great. A tiger. I'm not here to kill you. Why did I even say that? I'm not putting anyone at ease when I say that.

I love orange juice because I love breakfast. I won't say what else I eat. But it's all great. Anthony, right? Just make sure you put that orange juice back in the refrigerator when you're done. Remember, only you can prevent orange juice from getting too warm. Oh, did someone say Christmas? I said it.

I fucking knew it. I was like, this is, this is going to launch into a Santa thing again. And I'm going to get horny all over again. In my mind, I was going through my, like, the mascots I know. And I was like, first I hit Mr. Peanut, was like, Mr. Peanut was like, Mr. Peanut. Me too. And I was like, no fucking idea what he sounds like, fancy. Yeah.

I was also thinking Mr. Monopoly. And then I was like, that's not a spokesperson. It is. Does the tricks rabbit talk? again, I just don't know. He sweats. He sweats. Right?

In all the commercials, he's like, if I hadn't committed myself to be Santa immediately without even knowing what Adel was going to have us do, I would have brought in maybe the Pillsbury doughboy. Pillsbury doughboy, yes. The other one, my brain went to, I went to the, I don't know why, the Gordon's fisherman, but then I hit that and I go, no, what does he sound like?

Do you know that Gordon's fisherman? He's on like the fish stick box. He's just like a guy in a yellow raincoat. I confuse him with like, isn't there like a fisherman's friend? Maybe. Cough drop like a lozenge that is basically the same guy. Which is actually pretty addictive. And then the other one I went to was Jolly Green Giant.

And I'm like, none of these people have this thing. Like these are, again, these are just like cartoon mascots on packaging so they wouldn't have like a known voice. But to be fair, the Jolly Green Giant kind of aping. He does go ho-ho-ho-ho, doesn't he? Yeah, I guess he does. Wait, just a minute. Ho-ho, I'm horny for beans. Horny for beans.

All right, hold on. We got to do more. One more, or we have three more. We're going to get through these. Despite being extinct, this creature is still very worried about its status as king of the dinosaurs. T-Torant. Taurus Rex. Very worried.

Clu into very worried. Anxiety Rex. Nice one. Oh. It's the first one I got. That's great. All right. Here's your next one.

Projects led by these red-rumped primates often turn into wasteful and impractical messes. Baboons. Yes, baboon. Red-rumped primate is baboon. Baboon. What's the clue? What's the other?

Wastful and. practical messes. This is like a... Yes, Janet. Really? Yes, it's baboon doggle. In my mind, I was like, what's a, is a boondoggle a thing? And then I think I was imagining a dune buggy.

That's a dune doggle. We are going to hit out into the dudes. It's going to be so fun. Imagining a dune buggy. You know who has great. Dunes, Indiana, not like that shithole Iowa. Yeah. What a dumb.

Coming hard against Iowa today, guys. Sorry. Okay. Here's your last one. You guys have done a great job and everyone's done an equally great job, is what I'll say. No. I got one.

They got 100. Let's not even, let's not joke. I don't know that. I didn't cook long enough. Aaron, we said a lot of things. That doesn't mean we got them right. That's right. I don't know.

You didn't get a lot. I think you're going to get this one, Aaron. This ocean predator makes cynical and ironic remix about being older than trees. Shark. Megalodon. It's shark. We got shark. Shark.

What's the other hint? The, the, um, making, yeah. Ironic remarks. I said remakes. Shark Markman. Shark Markman. Shrckman. Shrky.

Sharky. Snarky. Snarky. ironic remarks about being older than trees. Snarky. Why is the older than trees part important? No. I mean, uh, no, it's sharks are older than trees.

That's a fact. Think cynical in ironic remarks. Sarcasm. If someone is making those, you're saying, like, sarcastic. Sharkastic. It's sarcastic. And you got it and I said you would and you did it. I think someone else got it before me.

Okay. No, I think you got it. No, come on, guys. Let's not do this whole song and dance. Okay, Erin, since you got that one right and you're so good at being sarcastic, I want to see a scene. You're going to be like a, this is like an underwater stand-up comedy club, and you are going to be playing a shark who's doing stand-up, but they only do crowdwork.

So you're going to be coming to us for crowdwork. Anyone here on a date? Anyone here on a date tonight? We're on a date, yeah. The two of us are on a date. Hello, how long have you two been in a relationship? It's our first date. Your first date?

Yeah. Wow. How'd you meet each other? Coming to this show? You met each other here at the show and now you're on a date? Well, this is our first date. We met up at the show, yeah. Where did you meet? We go to the same school.

You guys are way too young to be in here. What do you mean? to the same school. Of fish. School of fish. I don't really like people in my audience who do like group think and just sort of follow what other people do. So can you guys get the hell out of here?

Everyone should applaud me, right? I'm getting all these fish that, like, they just need, oh, this is my impression of being in a school of fish. Oh, you guys are going right? I'll also go right. You have a big fish on your stomach. Yeah, he cleans. He cleans my off.

Bitch. I need it medically. you're going to come after me at something I need medically that fish cleans my stomach bitch I'm also a yes fan who does a lot of wooing and cheering so it seems like the crowd's more into it than they are thank you so much to that trumpeter swan

in the back no get out get to this guy out of here feed no absolutely not no more Santas no more Santas of my watch I don't think so It is Santa Eel Aaron you don't want to see Santa Eel I don't want any more branding of Santa Ray like Mantua Santa Ray. When an eel bites your heel, that's for real. That's a moray.

I do like a morayneal. I like a crowdwork comedian that goes to the crowd, ask them a question, and then kicks them out. A crowdwork guy who's just gradually working his way through kicking everyone in the room out of this show. I love it. Yeah. Janet, you did a great job. You did a great job. And everyone here did a great job.

And now it is time for the saddest part of the show. The part of the show where we basically stop doing the show and we tell you about stuff that we'd like you to check out. Janet, do you have anything that you would like people to check out? I'm going to resist making an April Fool's Day joke and instead tell you to listen to E. Pluribus Motto, the podcast I do with the great John Hodgman, where we explore mottos. I'm blanking on anything else that a state chooses for itself. mottoes, flags, state snacks, state flowers, state flowers, state flowers, state trees, state bees. It's really just an excuse for us to talk about cute stuff and try to come up with new and better non-Latin modos for states. It's a lot of fun.

Janet, can I ask, have you done Iowa? Not Iowa yet, but I will say, as a way of apologizing for accidentally and not meaning to call Iowa a dump, I had a great time in Des Moines and I talk about it Kind of a lot I love Des Moines Yeah I really love it They have a zombie themed

Burger place Oh cool Has great food and great shakes Yeah for a total shit hole Des Moines no Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I'd like to plug Quality Time

It's my monthly show here in Los Angeles It's a different theme every month So come check that out if you haven't yet Adel anything to plug Please check out gum shoes and dragons, the delightful D&D slash Columbo

podcast that we do with our friend Anthony Birch. You can check that out skumshues and dragons. And also there was something else I wanted to plug, which was, oh, please go back and watch the Coca-Cola commercials with the polar bears and let me know if they do make little

Mr. Bean-esque sounds, because I swear. I swear. I swear, that's when I was first aware of like a pleasing sound, which was like the polar bears drinking and they're like, ooh. Yeah. Like it's so satisfying. So please watch that. JPC, anything to plug or a review to read. Hey, this is also

this Friday is the first of our month April of the Penguins. Penguin Baseball is back on the Patreon. So check it out, patreon.com slash Hey, Riddell. We'll have Casey Tony and Janet Varney will be there for the draft. We have five new exciting teams. It's going to be a fun, April. April of the Penguins, that is Patreon

for Hey, Reddle and Riddell all month long. Hey, I also have a review to read. This review comes to us from Sintwine. Sintwine says, fun stuff. It's funny. I like it. Short, sweet, to the point. Great job, Sint wine. Thank you. Aaron, I have another animal pun raid thing here. I guess Tedda-de-D. Amazing. Just sent this one to me. So this is a type of bird that can't fly and plays baseball, but is also from outer space. Hot dogs. Come on I didn't even get to participate in it

I don't even get to do it anymore You gotta be fast You gotta be fast, Erin Patrick Cullen Casey Tony did be editing And already parents in the music Hey Hey

Hey there balls and eggs If you like that You are gonna love this It's April of the Penguins On Hey Ritter-Ruddle Which means more penguin baseball You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com

by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast.