Hey Riddle Riddle - #412: It's 9am on a 10am Morning

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

Sometimes the things we talk about before the podcast become the podcast.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Grogu, pops, ha, sq squatter. I can hear you. I can hear you. I can hear you. You know, I can hear you when you say crogu's a squatter, right? Hey, when you say grogoo is a squatter, you know who won't hear it? Grogu, you know who will hear it?

Your friends who are squatters. Just air it. Just air it. People get affected by words, okay? Time back. Gov. At 10, say Grogu is a squirder. Come on, Casey, please.

Time. Grogo is a squirder. You have to do it again. That'll mess up. I'm just kidding. Mine says synchronizing for a minute and then got back up at like eight. So you may want to do it again.

No, no, I meant because you didn't say Groger is a squirder. But time-wise, it's fine. Technically, he did the right thing. Yeah, yeah. You did the right thing. You were too good of a boy. Yeah, see, I meant because you didn't say

Grogoo's a squirder. I had to restart the podcast. Our GPS. You get one more. Okay. Does that sound like a Ramon's song or something? Crocrow is a squartor. No, it does.

Addle, go ahead and give us a count. One. Two. Three. Croco is a squart. Adel. I wish I was you. So we may have stumbled upon something pretty big.

Casey, we can cut this out later. if we need to. Aaron, you came into the episode recording today with JPC and I doing big bopper impressions. Now, you actually thought that we were doing horse impressions. Thank God you're talking about this and not the other thing we were talking about before the episode started. That was a bait and switch. I tried to get a real grasp on the situation before we could get into that territory. Now, Aaron, I thought you said we're not going to bring up the other thing.

The big highlight here is the There's a tension between the three of us right now. I obviously, okay, guys, sorry that you're coming into an energy that is a little bit fraught. It is, I don't know what day of the week is it. It's 9 a.m. on a Monday morning? No, it's Tuesday. It's Tuesday morning. It's Tuesday morning.

It's 9 a.m. on a 10 a.m. His Thursday. It's 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. morning. There is some tension between the three of us. Y'all ever feel like it's 9 a.m. on a 10 a.m. morning? Put that on a mug. Put it in the shop. And I, you're right.

Let's just, let's just do an episode. Well, no, now we have to bring up. Now we have to talk about Adela and I went and saw. What did you call it, Aaron? Grogu and Mondo, but that's not right. And I know it's not right. But it's fine that you said it. Adela and I went and saw Grogu and Mondo.

And I feel like people have been hating on it, but I liked it. I liked it. And we saw it in 40X, and it was, wonderful in 40X. It was very entertaining and 40X makes a meal out of some of these scenes. There's a scene that's the most sort of like Universal Studios

ride that a 40X movie has ever been, which was outstanding. A lot of water being sprayed. And we were talking about all the water that was being sprayed. And that's it and that's all we talked about. It's a wet, wet movie. It's a wet, wet movie. And Casey was asking, because Casey didn't get to go see it in 40X because I believe he was in Ohio. And they don't have 40X or I want to say electricity there yet. But he was asking, was the water earned?

Like, was there enough wetness in the movie to earn the water? And then Aaron said, no. And then what did you say? No, Aaron, come on. Aaron, let's be fair. Let's be fair. And let's tell the truth. Let's be fair.

You definitely were the one who said. Why would I say that? I didn't see the movie. Why would I say that? And Aaron, why would I say it? Aaron said Grogo's a squatter, and she did not want that on the podcast. Erid made a crude joke, and then she said, please let's not start the podcast with me saying Grok who's a squatter.

Well, because you know what is going to happen is I'm going to end up saying it, which I did, and then I go, well, when the end of the year clip bracket's going to come out, no one's going to include Adel saying Groguzis squirder. No one's going to include D.B.C. saying Grogo is a squirder. It's going to be me saying it. Oh, speaking of squirting. No, Aaron. Nope.

Everyone throw your headphones off quickly. You still have time. Throw your phone. Aaron, Erin, sweetie, Erin, Erin, Erin, Squirting is what we call it nowadays when you drink a squirt. Yes, that's what we call. Refreshing, I want to say, just lemon drink. Okay, I thought it was something else.

So I guess I'm not a squirter. I was hanging out with some friends of yours this weekend. No, you weren't. No, you weren't. I truly was. And one of them brought up squirting. and his wife No, that's a really good guess

His wife said That's the second time You've brought up squirting this weekend Oh no Apparently it was his like hobby horse Who were you hanging out with? Paul It was Paul

Oh Haley and Paul Yeah Yeah classic Paul No it's not classic Paul at all One time I went to go visit Haley and Paul in Arkansas And we watched Betty White bloopers

and they're the cutest, sweetest, saddest thing I've ever seen. We just made that woman work until she was a thousand years old, and she didn't know where she was. She didn't know that the cameras were on. Was it a lot of her saying like back in Oaf Sintloff? Yeah. It was a lot of her being like, I don't know what's happening. And the audience was like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, boy. That sucks. That's not nice to happen. I'm jealous that you got to see some friends of mine. But, Adel, I realized that the text that I sent you on Saturday didn't go through when I woke up on Sunday. I think that you'll be jealous of the movie I watched on Saturday, which is the game, which is one of your faves. All-time faves. And I...

First time, Aaron? No, I've seen it before. Yeah. But Riley and I started romancing the stone. First of all, we talked for an hour about what movie to watch. We don't want to hear about your person. That's what Eric calls for a play, romancing the stone. Romancing the stone.

That's actually very funny. But we were like 10 minutes into that movie. And we were talking about Michael Douglas. And I was like, man, he never got better than the game. And then Riley said, what is that? And Riley is such a movie person. And I was like, Riley, every movie for the last 25 years is directors loving the visual language of the game and loving the vibe of that. Like the succession opening is a direct rip off of the opening of the game.

So we turned it off and turned on the game and he loved it. And he went in completely blind. I didn't tell him anything about it. So to watch someone actually experience it, I was like, I should have waited for Adel to be here so we could watch someone see it for the first time. I'm honestly shocked, Riley. I feel like it might be the most underrated film in my opinion of all time and yeah the reveal at the end and the party and the guy who is that the guy who plays max headroom at the end yeah yeah I think so right yeah who says like oh I was supposed to do this and then I did that

I don't know why I'm trying to cover up spoilers for a 30 year old movie I I this time I think we've spoiled all the show before I think we've already fully spoiled it on the show I noticed so much more first of all I just don't think I really really really how visually awesome it is. Some of the shots in it are just so sick. And there's something I noticed this time that I was like, oh, that is awesome. At the beginning of the movie, it's its birthday. And a woman comes in and says, happy birthday to him at his job.

And his secretary says, thank you to the woman. She's like, thank you. Like, he's so disconnected from his humanity in life. And I was like, oh, my God, all the women around him are being human for him. Oh, it's so good. The first time I heard about, because I think I saw this before escape rooms were in the U.S. Like, I think they were elsewhere in the world, but not in the U.S. maybe. But I feel like the first time I heard about escape rooms and like went to go do when I was like,

oh, this is like the game. This is like a self-contained the game. You could almost say that the show is directly, like so many other movies and TV shows, Hay riddle riddle might not exist without Adel finding the game and falling in love with it. And now, isn't that interesting? Butterfly fact, yeah. What's a butterfly effect that brought you here, JPC, do you think? Don't say Grogis-Groding.

Don't say Grogis-Grodo. A long-lock time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Yuck. One good sir, Mr. Grogu. Butterfly effect. I don't know. It's a tough call. All right.

Well, what do you think of one? I'll just say nothing. Titoo-ween. I don't think of something to say. To moon. Tits titschupine. So what? Titipine.

I'm busy. That sounds like you're telling your friends you got to go to the bathroom, but you're wasted. Yeah. Titsin. Titsipine. Tittipine. I love you girls so much. Guys, if you can't tell a guest had a guest canceled last minute, I think that's basically what we're on about right now is that we did have a last minute guest cancellation.

Because Aaron said what she said earlier. And it was guest. that I was quite nervous for because they are comedy hero guests of mine, especially together. So I'm coming off of the high. Just Penn and Teller. I'm coming off of the high. But they wouldn't even know one of them was here if they were. We should say Teller is still here.

And thank you for being here, Teller. We got an ebo from Teller's sake, I'll still do the podcast. So I'm like relieved that I don't have to be so nervous. Yeah. Well, good for you, Aaron. We're happy that at least you can feel some relief today. Thanks. But unfortunately, the show, Aaron, in many ways, must go on.

Okay. In terms of us doing some riddles, right? Right? You're in charge, right? Yeah, Hallie gave us these, I'm going to say, warm up riddles. Okay. Thank you for sending these in. Find the word that connects each list of three things.

This should be pretty self-explanatory and simple. So I'm not going to burn to one of these as an example. I think you'll be able to get it. Okay. So if it's like squirting and grogu and Mando, you know what? Actually, Aaron, I don't... What did they give out in hockey, like red cards and yellow cards?

Adel, can you throw one of those at JPC? He should have to go... We should have a... Oh, shit. I throw the card like Gambit. Assaulté, mother me! Okay, that's another card. It's French.

Yeah, I guess. I can't really need cage in too. Casey, can you build a penalty box for Hey, Reddle Reddle? Thank you so much. Casey's on it. You're like my toddler who doesn't wait to hear the response before they move on. They're like, I have some cake.

Yes and no? Yes. Okay. That's awesome. That's iconic. Okay. Find the word that connects each list of three things. Piano. Answer. and Florida. They all have keys, my dear.

They all have keys. They all have panhandles as well. My piano panhandle. I do want to see a scene. Okay. Aaron and JPC, you two are two like sort of storage wars-esque buyers of lapsed payment units for storage. Okay.

And you bought one at auction and you are opening it up for the first time to be surprised by its contents. Adel, can I just ask? Before we get into the scene. Is this scene in any way inspired by the fact that Aaron has two huge storage tubs in her background right now? Because it feels very like Mr. Freud, your penis is calling, you know. Mr. Groku, your squirtings online one. Well, that's what we're used for the end of the years. Oh, bummer.

Damn it. I like Obamber too, Casey. Maybe we saved that one for Bens. I did have to open the storage unit. It's fantastic. It took out. there for two and a half hours. I'd fill it a bunch of paperwork. It sucks. It sucks.

Oh, very quickly, I also want to say pre-show discussion, this is just pre-show discussion. I also said that Gregor as a squirder, to me, sounded like a Ramon's song. So if anyone out, Gregor is a squirt, if anyone is out there who has the capabilities to make a Ramones-S song out of that, I'd pay upwards of $100. Yeah. If you have a free afternoon and you've already hit rock bottom, I think maybe Groguer was a squirder in the style of the. Ramones. Guaranteed you'll get at least a feature of the voicemail theme.

That's an easy, easy and clued in the voicemail theme. We're going to get like 14 versions of this. And then that's our life, okay? Now this is what the show is, guys. Yeah, show's good. We show's fucking good, dude. Show's fucking good, dude. If I can offer any comfort, famously, Ramon's songs are a minute and a half long.

So it'll be, we can cycle through them. I'll tell you what, it'll be 30 seconds. That means it's a low barrier to entry. If it's longer than 30 seconds, it's not getting on the fucking show. I can tell you fucking that much. All these talented people out there who had other things to do, think of the songs that won't be written

because talented musicians are going to be playing Groke as a squirder at the stuff of them. I refuse to think of the songs that won't be written. I'm dying. Should I start my modern day marriage of Figaro operetta or no, I'll work on Groke as a squirder in the style of the room bones. I was going to write that beautiful. song for my mom's funeral, but

I don't say he'd pay me $100. Amazing Grace? Honestly, I was going to work at the funeral song, but two birds one stone. I'll do the I'll do the grokgo is a squirder. No, nobody played that at your mom's

funeral. No. No. If you can write Grogo's escorted in the styles of funeral dirge or in the style of Amazing Grace. Okay, here's a scene. Cut to me having to carry your coffin. down the aisle when you're dead when I'm old and my bones are already basically down the aisle who's he buried

yeah you know I'm carrying you I'm in the processional thing JPC and I Brett Lyons maybe Rob White gang's all there we're carrying your body and then that song starts playing that's what you've just done to us and then we have to do that whole walk we miss our friend and we're listening to the Grogo who's a squirrel in the style of them. And I'm unplugged.

I'm out of the matrix, baby. All right. And I'll be watching. Here's your scene. Thank you. Here's a scene. Just a reminder. This is to people opening up a storage unit who have no idea what the contents are.

Hey, man, just so you know, if there's a body in there, I don't have the bandwidth today. Okay. Yeah. So what do you want me? What would you prefer I do? If there's a body, I'm going to take off. I'm going to like I've done this before I've done this whole rigmarole it's like a four day affair it's a whole thing there's body I'm happy to make that deal because uh you don't want to deal with it

but that also includes you said if there's a body and this is a binding deal we find a mummy in there I'm taking it mummies a body mummy's a body but that's that could be a big payout Your ass missed out on the last fucking mummy, and your ass is going to miss out of the next fucking mummy. Because you keep making these sucker deals to not find mummies. My wife just wants me home sometimes, okay? I can't be solving murder with you. And this motherfucker had an Egyptian name. So, chances are there's a mummy in there.

All right. Deal. Fine. Okay. Good deal. Hey, good business. Great business. Great.

Okay. Cut the lock, please. Okay. Here's cutting the lock for the unit owned by Memphis Obelisk. Okay, you're doing that like you're doing a first take in a movie. All right. Just not used to such Egyptian names. You open it.

So much corpse dust. Oh my God. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. A TV! Scene. When I opened a storage unit, the guy was like no food no wine no explosives no fireworks like they he was so like so stressed out that i was going to bring food in i was like i'm not going to bring food in it's going to be mostly like

christmas decorations and he's like no food no popcorn no beer and i was like okay no string popcorn for christmas decorations either because i know sometimes that's food no food no popcorn seems like this guy's a little redundant uh yeah i mean The thing with those storage units is if they get bugs, everybody gets bugs. Like, it's just bugs. It's bugs all the way down, you know? Yuck. Aaron, what, you, Aaron, you're a storage war.

You serve in the army of the storage wars. You open up a unit. I'm a colonel. I'm a popcorn colonel on a storage one. That's so good. Aaron, that's great. You open up a storage unit. You paid, let's say, 200 bucks side unseen.

What is your, what's your holy grail? Like, what's, you slide up the door and inside is what? like the original Muppets? Like what is your Holy Grail? Oh my God. Me from the future with all the winning lottery numbers. And if that's not possible, genuinely, remember when the Jim Henson Estate had a auction

and we were looking into it? I, when I went on there, the thing I wanted the most was the backs of all the Muppets chairs from Muppets from space. Oh, that's great. Yeah, I want the scalps from all the Muppets. I want all of their back. I want my Muppets scouts. We're hunting Muppets.

I was like, oh my gosh, if I had a hallway in a home. A hallway, the dream. You walk down the hall, and it's all the different. Because they're all just, like, specific to each Muppet. Oh, I would die for that. That would be my number one. What about you? My first answer is just like a comfy couch and like no phone.

Adel, we got to get you on a solo vacation. I know what I'm getting you for your birthday. birthday and it's time alone in the woods where no one can find you. Oh, yeah. Your wife and child are going to love that. 18 years later, I reemerge. Not feral at all. I would say, Aaron, you made me think of something.

I don't know if this is my number one answer, but on the spot, I would say the return to Oz hallway of screaming heads. Have you seen Return to Oz? Yeah. Well, probably another Henson feature. Yeah. most likely. Yeah, there's that hallway with all the queen.

She has her different heads that she puts on the body, which was terrifying as a kid. And at some point, I want to say Alice, but I don't know if her name something else in the movie, walks by and makes a noise, and then they all wake up and scream at her. I think that hallway of heads would be a beautiful addition to my home. That would be really scary if you open the storage unit not knowing what was in there. And it's that, though. That would be a little bit of moment of terror, I think. Yeah.

JBC, saying question to you. And I think do you have to narrow the answer? answer to what movie prop would you want inside the search? It's going to be grogues squirting. Pre-squirt or post-squirt when he's smoking cigarette. That would be, you know how they do like themed popcorn buckets? They should do a grogu squirting one, but it squirts like hot butter into your popcorn. Aaron, what do we think of that?

If that existed, I think I send me to a different planet. Yeah. Project Hail Mary Me, with no, with no. mission. Toss me into space. No mission. I don't care. All of humanity coming together

to sit Aaron to space for no reason. Now, Aaron, would you date that rock? I would be best friends with that rock. You guys, I finally saw it. And I was looking for a partner. No, he's crazy in love with his partner. He was like, we've been together 185 years and it hasn't been enough time. No one.

Not what I heard. Sorry, Aaron, you saw the movie. And I was. Very, spoiler alert. Fast forward ahead. I was so relieved to know that nothing happens to the rock because I was so stressed out. I just got very attached to that rock. Oh, yeah.

And then when he does the people's elbow on Ryan Gosling, it really puts him in his fucking place. I'm like, thank God we have this man. I'm glad he raised his eyebrow because at first I was like, is that the rock? And then he did the eyebrow. And I was like, that's him. Oh, yeah. And you're like, there he is. Definitely the rock.

There's my guy. More riddles for the boys. Face. Okay, I guess I didn't get to give my real answer to the question. No, you had your chance. You did with the time you wanted what you had and what you did. Face needle hurricane. Do you say face needle or space needle?

Face comma, needle, comma, hurricane. Have you guys seen the new face needle? It is terrifying. Seattle was losing its mind. Seattle is absolutely fun. There is needle. Ow, wow, wow, wow. Base, needle.

Oh, they all have eyes. Yeah. Yes, they all have eyes. The hills. River. Our eyes as well. With the eyes. River, checking account, and blood.

Oh, they all have beds. No. Oh, they all have rock bottoms. No. You get cookies after all of them? No. What were they again? River checking account and blood.

And blood. streams oh they all have constant flows out no okay that's pretty good though right um rivers rivers have beds they have mouths they have

yeah what else do they have oh sand banks they're all banks you find them in banks banks i would like to see a scene adle you are a vampire and you're trying to open a new checking account at a bank that gbc works out

and a and this is very important to my process. Am I like a Steven Dorf blade or am I like a nosferatu? You're like a nosferatu. And Grogu is squirting somewhere. Somewhere. We did it. Yeah.

It goes that same. Hello. How can I help you today? Yes. Hello. Devin is it? Yeah. Yes.

Devin. You're getting sleepy. Hey, I just want to say before we continue. the transaction. If I start doing the voice, it's completely... Excuse me? The voice? No, yeah.

Uh, yeah, no. Oh, you know what? I don't even hear it anymore. And I'm... yeah, sure. It's like when someone from, you know, New Jersey goes to England and they go, you have such funny accents. And I go, what about you? And I would never say you... Sorry.

It's okay. Sorry. It's okay. There was a German customer right before you, and I did it as well. It's like a nervous tick thing. It's my first day at the bank. Do you have an account? Oh, first day.

Wow. Yes. Congratulations. You are getting amazed. I guess first night. I guess first night at the bank. Oh, yes. It is fun to have a night bank.

That's what night bank is known for us. It's the only bank that does nights. We get robbed all the time. Yes, I can see the bullet holes. Yes. Oh, um, hold on. I'm getting a, I'm going to call for my boss. I'm so sorry. I need, it's my boss. I have to take. Hello. Yeah. I'm getting a race. I'm getting a race. My, oh my, yes, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Knightbank. Oh, I'm saying we are erasing you. Because you keep imitating our voices. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That wasn't my boss. I don't know. I don't know who that was.

Come on. Hold back. Can you call back? I'm curious who that was. I liked him. Seed. Seed. Seed. Whoever it was, I did like him. No, that was not a good voice. Corn headphone piercing. Ears, ears.

Speaking of bullet holes. Yes. Fireplace cabin, ship captain. Pokers. Fireplace, ship captain, what was the last one? Cabin. Or the cabin? fireplace ship captain.

They all have logs. Mm-hmm. Oh, Captain's Log. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you're a ship captain, and you are telling your first mate, Adel, to log something in the captain's log for you. And just so we're clear,

just because I'm doing the voice, don't mean you're going to be doing the voice. Of course, yeah, I'll try to turn to argue it. No, no, no. No, I was choking. Were you choking? Because you're going to be choking. You gotta be fucking joking

Me Are you saying you're joking? I don't know what? Okay, captains, let's start over. Let's start over. Captains? Oh, I'd love to start over. Captain's law.

All you're doing is recording my thoughts because when this whole thing's over, I'm writing a book. Okay. People are going to be like, you know, who did he sleep with? You know, what was he wearing? It's good.

Well, it's just you and me on the ship, so. Well, you don't know that nothing's going to happen. we're just embarking on this, you know, today. I mean, yeah, for sure, nothing's going to happen right now. Okay. You don't think, oh, what? You don't think I'm attractive at all? No, I think you're very attractive.

You do? Yeah. Okay. I actually, I called my mom earlier and I told her I had a crush on you, but this is not that time. This is Captain's Log. Captain's Log. Huh? I'm sorry?

I said Captain's Log. What did you say? I said Captain's Flop. Okay. Okay. Let's just start. Let's just start. Well, maybe a quick kiss.

Just to break the tarnion. Yeah. Don't mourn de Farns to break the tarnion as it war. Here you go. This one has almond in it. Mine is dark chocolate. Here we go. Kett Ellington.

Okay, you can have one of the dark chocolate? It's a taste thing. You don't see a lot of kisses anymore. You don't see a lot of kisses anymore. It used to be you walk in. to any bank, and there's a little clear bowl full of Hershey's kisses. You don't see those anymore.

Most of the booty on the whole boat is chocolate. You know, it's some sort of chocolate. Hmm. What can I say? I love chocolate booty. Casey, don't clip that. Satan. He's going to clip it.

He can't clip it. Too late, he's going to clip it. Oh, well, it's a pirate saying it, not me. I can take anything I want. What in a pirate voice. Tree, dog, and cinnamon is the last one from Hallie. They all have barks.

Yes. Oh, wow. Incredible, huh? It's also like a fucked up rock paper scissors, right? Because cinnamon obviously kills a dog. Dog kills a tree. By peeing on it. By peeing on it.

That does, honestly, that does kill a tree. That does kill the tree. And tree kills cinnamon because of, and we have to. to go on break. And now it's time to go on break. And tree kill cinnamon and it's time to go on break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Aaron, I don't know if I can record today.

I just feel so distraught about our friend down there in the sewers. Donald, he's okay. He's probably just doing rat stuff, like eating garbage and being like but if you're feeling stressed, we should find someone for you to talk to about it. Oh, yeah, maybe I'll try BetterHelp. Oh, yes. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally.

And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. And you know how I hate, you know, sort of like talking to people and figuring out, like, do you believe me that my friend's trapped in a rat costume? BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you. so you can focus on your therapy goals or your rat catching goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and their 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time.

Better help therapist work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. I hope that, I mean, I need to talk to someone about this too. I am stressed. Also, I'm kind of scared that he's just going to show up one day. I don't know. I don't know. I've heard that there's a,

rat biting people, um, and they're turning into JPCs. Hmm. Hmm. So that's just something we should warn the, hmm. The nation about. Hmm. Could that be JPC?

Could it just be a giant rat biting people? We don't know, but you don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash riddle. That's better h-e-l-com slash riddle. Here, J-P-C-da-da-da-da-da-da. Cheese. Cheese and hats.

Cheese and backwards hats. Cheese and backwards hats. Cut off tanks. Come here, buddy. He's going to kill us. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Adel. JPC is still missing.

I'm pretty sure he's stuck in a rat costume and is in a sewer somewhere, but I'm not totally sure. So I'm going to set up a website to try to find him. Do we know if it's like a splinter costume or if it's, you know what? It doesn't matter. We've created a website if you have any news or information about JPC. We built it, of course, with Squarespace. Best of the best. You know, Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're looking for a missing friend in a giant rat costume, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place.

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which is either finding or not finding JPC in his rat costume. Head to Squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I think we just let it be. What if he's happy? Yeah, maybe he chose this. This sweater's so hot. Why am I wearing a sweater during the summer?

Ugh. Aaron pulls on sunglasses. Aaron, baby, get with the times. All right, cool vibe. It's summerish, perhaps, and you have to go to Quince to get some lightweight, breathable quince wearables. Oh, that sounds so nice.

I love Quince. Yeah, everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And they work directly with ethical factories and cut up the middlemen so you're paying for quality. Not brand markup, Aaron. Quince goes way beyond clothing. They have custom upholstered sofas, ceramic cookware, premium bedding. It's the kind of brand you end up recommending to everyone for everything. I'm moving this summer and I have so many things favored from Quince.

I want curtains from there. I want some of their kitchen stuff. Their rugs are unbelievable and priced so fairly, and I'm so excited that Quince exists. Perfect timing, Quince. Thank you. Gemma got a 100% European linen fit and flare middy dress from Quince that she is obsessed with. Looks great on her. And they also have stuff for babies. So we've put little crumpet in some beautiful, adorable, little breathable summertime cotton onesies.

Oh, cute. You got to elevate your summer wardrobe. go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order in 365 day returns now available in Canada 2. That's quince.com, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash riddle. Aaron, I'm grilling up some pants. Yum. Wait, what?

Summer, baby. And this is Lou. I'm wearing a funny top hat. And here's a picture of Lou. And she's just laying in this. She's so cute. And here's Lou, look how gray her snoot is getting. She's just so precious.

I'm so obsessed with my dog. Erin, Erin, you said you had something really important to talk to us about. And this is that. Oh, yes, yes. 91% of dog parents say their pup is an important member of the family. And 40% would even save their dog over a human stranger. Safe to say, people are obsessed, and I'm one of them.

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and you get a pup tanner and scoop for easy, storing, and serving. My dog spaghetti absolutely loves Ollie food. Around 4 o'clock every day, she starts snapping at me because it's like, I'm like, yeah, it's kind of almost dinner time. But she is so excited for dinner time since we switched to Ali. Oh look, Lou's getting near the microphone. What is it, Lou? Ollie, Ollie, now.

That's not her voice. I'm obsessed with her. I can tell you what her voice is. This is her voice. With Ollie, you don't just get food. Through their app, you can actually check on your dog's house with real vets. Just by uploading a picture, their team can check up on your dog's weight, digestion, teeth, and cope. Because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be. And that's me, Lou, and this is my voice.

Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com slash riddle. Tell them all about your dog and use code riddle to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's OLLLI.E.com slash riddle and enter code riddle to get 70% off your first box. Ollie feed the obsession. Isn't that right, spaghetti?

Yeah, that's right. Allie dog food is good. dog food. That's her voice. That's John Travolta in a dog suit. No, it's... Yeah, that's John Travolta. Look at the beret.

Guys, I wish it weren't true, but it's her voice. Okay, and we're back in Erin. You were just saying why tree kills cinnamon or... Tree kills cinnamon because... Wait, hold on. What's that sound? Is that grow goose squirting? No, that's Claire to Loon.

Casey, now we got to do it. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's no, no, no, no. A pig, he's a Yoda. Wow. Wow. That's my phrase of the year.

Groke is not a pig, he's a Yoda. Right? Aaron, I'm going to be shouting that from a convertible later tonight, high on cocaine. Grokew is not a pig, he's a squirder. And someone says, Groke who's not a pig, he's a squirder. That's my John Cusack say anything stereo over the head. Yeah, it's just say anything. And it's playing on the boombox.

But instead of In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, it's me saying. Squirt anything. Okay. Do we have more of these three fur brittles? No, those are done. And now we're moving on to a very, very sweet listener, Dan from Warwick, England, found a book in the UK. Okay, okay.

Okay. That is a riddle book. And Dan basically sent us the entire thing. Like, scanned the book. That is. Scanned the book. Okay, cool. So now it's on it.

Yeah. Oh, please. Oh, no, please. Can I say anytime we get any sort of international riddles, they're always absolutely delightful. Maybe sometimes hard to parse. but I feel like they're so much more fun because of their sort of the language and, yeah, the time.

It's crazy that these guys over there have like their whole fucked up language. It's crazy these guys have that. Oh, yeah. Do we call it that? Would we call it their whole fucked up language? Yeah, I guess we would. I can't say these guys now.

All right. It is a fucked up language and it's crazy that they have it. Okay, here's the first riddle. What is it? It stands on one leg with its heart in its head. Pelican octopus. No. Next riddle.

Next riddle. Pelican octopus. Is this on? That actually sounds really scary. That would be a good monster movie. Yeah, for sure. It stands on one leg with its heart in its head. It's like an artichoke.

So close. So close. Good. Probably the same family. Very close. So close. What did you say, James? I said lettuce.

Very close. Irish lettuce. I have this on St. Patrick's Day. Cabbage? Oh, cabbage. It is cabbage? Yes. Wow.

Wow. Okay. Have you guys ever seen asparagus grow? Like a farm that grows the spragus? Have you guys ever seen grow goose quart? Come on. I don't know. Listen, I don't know if the images I saw were real, but I saw an image online. Of Grogooos-Therty.

Just asparagus growing and it just grows like stock. It just looks like someone placed stocks in the dirt, which is maybe what someone did. Oh my God, Adela. It looks like a little kid. Yeah. Was like, I made a farm. Mom, I made a farm. That's so silly. Yeah. That's really cute of asparagus to just be straightforward like that.

I told you guys that I impulse bought a grill this weekend. And I've been grilling basically all weekend. And I have grilled asparagus twice. Asparagus on the grill, so fucking good. Olive oil, salt pepper, little lemon. I was going to ask you to put a little lemon on it. That picture you sent of you grilling, I was like, wow, you have fully turned into dad. You are a dad.

It unlocked something in me to just like just be standing there. letting an impossible burger cook as I'm like drinking a non-alcoholic beer and I'm like fake meat fake beer real dad real America baby that's awesome let off the fireworks fuck it who cares I'm a new guy big t-shirt says I love chocolate booties oh you know what I'll get you a fun kind of pun apron um that you can cook in like one of those grill aprons um honestly it's gonna say grow boo and The squirder. You know it's going to say that, right? And you know, I'm going to.

I'm going to try to think of which one, which one my wife would less enjoy. She's like, hey, you know what? I actually don't think I like the chocolate booty or the group. I like them equally. Don't speak for her. I think she might like both. My tail is long. You know who she does like?

Beverly Shubidoo. Oh. She doesn't do. She doesn't do. He doesn't do my shibonaboo wear that apron. She wouldn't. Everybody in this house like Shibadoo. My tail.

Even me. No, you're lying. My tail is long. My coat is brown. I like the country. I like the town. I can live in a house or live in a shed. And I come out to play when you are in bed.

Oh. Sounds like a Babadook situation. Yes. I have a tail. I have a head. My tail is long. My coat is brown. Not always.

By the way. That's misleading. About the coat. color. I live in a country. I like the town. I know, I like the country. I like the town. I can live in a house or live in a shed. And I come out to play once you're in bed. Come out to play once you're in bed, huh? At first I thought it was like a broom or something. Is this like an owl? Is this a spider, spider thing? You know, it's something that is living. Owl feels kind of closer.

Owls are nocturnal. Um, rat. Oh, so close to a rat. Rat. It's a raccoon. Cat, cat. No. Way closer to a rat. Mouse.

Yes, it's a mouse. Ooh. Okay. I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you are a mouse and you have the strength of a human. Right. At JPC, you are a, I want to say, fish tar. Can you go ahead and be, what is it?

I'm trying to think of your. costume for like shows like skunk like a skunky badgers. I want to say fish tar is like I don't know that's ever been said in the history of anything. I want to say fish tar. Fish tar and rogu go to the mall or whatever the fucking came out this past weekend. I'd like to see you seen. Aaron, you're a nocturnal like barn mouse. JPC you are the owner of the farm and you for the first time have stayed up to catch the mouse who's kind of been like eating your grain. and causing havoc, wreaking havoc.

I caught you. I caught you, you little bastard. No, no, you're dreaming. You're dreaming. Fuck. Ah, man. God damn it. I was really hoping this was...

I'm actually your ex-wife. And this is a projection of your subconscious of how you see her. Oh, shame on you. Great. God damn it. This is just great. Wow.

And you're right, of course. Well... You know what your subconscious is. telling you to do let her go. Hook up. I bet we're going to hook up. Oh, let me think. I bet we're going to hook up. Even though she looks like a mouse because it's my dream or whatever. Looks at my little mouse watch. Do I have time to hook up with a man? Sure. Mouse has been behind you mouthing, what the fuck? And then I turn around and go, you cheated on me first. You started that. First of all, yeah, right. Well, I guess I better get to it.

Better start hooking up. Here we go. All right, cut to us. No, no, no, I insist. I absolutely insist. It is time to start hooking up. Oh, you didn't want to cut forward in time to us smoking a cigarette in the bed.

You want us to show the whole thing. Fine. I'm not scared. Let's describe what happened. Seen, see, see, see. Oh, scene. Now all of a sudden you're a coward. Yeah, right.

Yeah, right. Just realizing you're dreaming and being like, well, I can dream anything, but I guess I'll hook up with a mouse. We've had this one before, so we'll just go through it quickly. We've had that scene about hooking up with a mouse before. God, that probably. Damn it.

What is it? Has a mouth and does not speak, has a bed, and does not sleep. River. Yes. I sleep by day. I fly by night. I have no feathers to aid my flight. Which is broom.

Which is broom. No. A red eye? I was to see a scene. That's a coffee with an espresso dumped. I love a red eye. Oh my God, I love a red eye. JPC, you are a witch's broom on your night off, and you're pulling up to a bar to get a drink and sort of take a load off.

Adel, you're the bartender. What will it be? Gin and tonic. And boy, do I need it. I've been ridden hard and put away wet, if you know what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, I hear you, buddy. I hear you. In one of those weeks.

Can I just copy your ID real quick? Come on, man. Look at my bristles. I just have, I don't have any way of knowing. Well, I don't have a purse. I mean, look at me, man. I don't carry an ID. Who was which president in 84?

I'm a broom, not a witch, man. I don't know. I can tell you who broom president is. These tests are, you know, it's like, can I just... You guys have president? What? Well, no. We have a monarchy, but...

I mean, it's the same. If I told you who was broom king, right? That would have been... It would mean nothing to you. No. You see it cuts to a swift. on a throne. His name is Sweet Flood of Mighty and he was a very, he was a good king.

That's all I could say. I'm doing a full episode the next time I'm in charge of Sweet Flood of Mighty. Keep going. All right. Can I just get a Jenny? Can I just get a Jenny? I mean, I just got off work. I only have one day off, which is don't watch on Sundays.

And then I got to be back in there, you know, Monday. I just would love a fucking drink if that's not too much to ask. And, buddy, I want to give it to you. I just can't have my. My license taken, my bar license taken away because I served a, you know, unripened broom or whatever. Unripened? You know what I mean? If I got to snap you when you bend and not break.

That means you're like what? That means you're under 21. Here we go. Bend you if not break. Sure. But I'm, hey, it's just, it's an expression. Fuck me, okay. Look, if you want to go to the back and snap me once or twice, just quick snaps, just whatever you want, man.

Whoa, whoa. Oh, you miss. Oh, buddy. As long as I get a drink, because I just want to drink, you know, it's like, you can, I'll let you snap me, I'll let you snap into me hard, you know. Hey, hey, hey, hey, if anything. Tossil the bristles. Buddy, buddy, buddy. I'll let you, you know, you could even put the shaft wherever you want for, you know, within a reason.

No, no, no, no. I listen, hey, hey, hey, hey. If anything, I could use some help under the piano. I can't reach. Oh, be cool, be cool, be cool. You're ignoring my phone calls and texts. She talking to me or she's talking to you We have an emergency

Come on, Broomey Ladies, ladies, please I have some Toad potion on the house Some shots, some shots of toad potion here I shouldn't drink and drive Come by, just one Come on, come on, come on, come on

Well, yeah, well, I'm sorry I've been ducking your calls We'll go back to work, let's just do a quick toad potion You know, it's been a day, let's do a toad potion All right, but just one. Take a shot. TikTok on a clock. It's the three of them drinking. They're in a convertible top down, screaming roguers out of piggy's a Yoda.

Which has 20. Fuck. Fuck, I'm ruined. No, no, no, no. Hit her stay. Hit her stay. Hit it. I'm not getting a hitter.

Blackjack. Blackjack. We're playing blackjack. I'm not going to hit her. Hit. Hit. On a 20? I slap.

I slap. the dealer. It's! Which has 21. I guess we're at the magic mic show. The broom's getting a laugh dance. If you want it. All right.

They're at Cirque de Solae, a stone out of their mind. Yeah. Scared, wide-eyed. Yeah. Anyways. Seat. Seen. Seen.

And I agree. I agree with you guys. Seen. I sleep by day. I fly by night. I have no feathers to aid my flight. Sleep by day. Is this like a bat? Yes, it's a bat.

Oh. Oh, fuck. I forgot bats don't have feathers. I'd like to see a scene. Adel, you are a bat dad, and you are taking your son, who is also a bat to a doctor's appointment, but it's during the day and the sun is really fussy that has to be awake during the day. Hey, champ, come on. Come on. Come on. You have to get your eyesight tested.

I don't think we have eyesight. Isn't it all echolocation? No, that's a rumor. Fuck. And I, what do we say about rumors? What's the rhyme I taught you about rumors? Rumors were too. No.

Oh, yeah, rhyme, rhyme. I was like, that sounds doesn't rhyme. If rumors were tumors and lies were pies, are pies, we'd have a bunch of an edible. thighs? That's right. Yeah. Pratt because you always said going down on another bat is something that you simply won't do.

It's just not for me. Yeah, no. It's not for me. Grogu's a squatter. We all understand. Where did you hear that? I just heard it at school. What did you say to me?

Groku is a squirter? I don't even know what I'm saying. I thought, yeah, is that not? Where did you hear that? I thought I heard it. David? I heard it from you, Dad. Oh my God.

Have I been saying, Cruz, this quirt? That's how you echolocate. You've been saying it and letting it bounce off walls in the house. And that's the, and that's how I know it. I learned it from you. I told you not to listen to my echo locates. Fuck. Fuck shit.

It's kind of hard nuts. Fucking, God damn it. And I heard it from Aaron Keefe on the podcast. Hey, you know what? I'm going to give, I'm going to give Aaron Keefe a call. House call, that is. Of course we don't have phones. Of course.

Of course. Yay! I fall down the stairs to go get the door Hi, it's Aaron, what's up? How can I help you? Hey, are you okay? Is that an owl at the top of the stairs

That pushed you? Oh, oh, funny. I am not interested in... Baby, baby, come back to bed. Who is it? You don't... Grogu, give me a minute, baby. Listen, something you said on your podcast

No, no. That I accidentally repeated in the home is simply disgusting. And I just want you to hear it from me, a bat listener. I've been here a thousand times. Go back and listen. Was I actually the first person to say that thing? Here's Adel's address.

Here's JPC's address. Your beef is not with me. Your beef is not with me, sir. Absolutely not. I do not take accountability for my own actions. Okay. I'm not responsible for the things I say are do, sir. Do you understand? Okay. Well, I'm going to go ahead and fuck that owl, and I'm going to hit these addresses and I'll be right back.

Oh, it was an owl up there. Yes, that makes sense. Shows up to Adel's house, sees a 100-foot skeleton. Oh, he's an ally. Keeps driving. Flying, I mean, flying. That's no half cars. Arries at JPC's house. Ding-dong. Hey, man, don't ring the fucking bell. You're supposed to leave the gordita. and then just take the picture or whatever and then walk away. Well, here is the gordita. I am a Uber Eats. Ugh.

Do you bat on this? The fuck? No, that's sour cream. Thank God. Listen, something you said on a episode of, I'm not just an Uber Eats delivery bat. I'm also a listener. I said that? No.

Something you said on the podcast. Get your fucking story straight. Is your kid? Absolutely. Yes, my son is. I'm his kid's about to see his bat dad get his. bat ass kicked. Excuse me?

Your kid is about to see his bat dad get his bat ass kicked. Oh, yeah. Takes off earrings. It takes off Uber Eats hat. Your dog is about to see you get rabies, bitch. Oh, yeah? Well, you're... We cut to the hospital.

Yeah, so basically I think a bat got in my house. Just say you did a weird sex thing, sir. We don't have time for these made-up stories. Okay. It seems like the customer's always right I don't know why I'm not a customer I love being in a hospital

and saying the customer's always right Whatever happened to the customer is always right You know what I'm saying It has four legs and a foot And can't walk It has a head and can't talk Oh bed

A bed? A bed My favorite Person on community Oh nice That works My face is pale and full and fair And round its beauty spots are there

By day indeed I seem less bright I'm only seen sometimes at night And when the sun has gone to bed Oh come on I then begin to show my head Don't talk about my friend of Aaron like that Is this some sort of flower No

I begin to show my head Show my head is tripping. Oh, the moon, you got it. It's the moon. Oh, okay. I love the moon. You guys are going to love this one. Big fan.

Flip flop fleasy. When it's in, it is easy. Don't talk about my friend. A little bedroom talk, huh? Flip flop pleasy when it's in, it's easy. That is you how you call someone a slut in the 1930s. Flip-flop easy. She's a flip-flop-flop-lip.

When it is in, it is easy. and when it is out it flops all about flip flop flop fleasy that's the mantra of me and the girls say when we're about to have a night out of these sluts girls next time you're about to go with your friends when you're cheering everyone go flip flop fleasy when it is in it is easy

and when it is out it flops all about flip flop pleases please yes what's your scene I feel like that was better than any scene I Perfect. What is the answer to that riddle? Oh, that's a real riddle. Footflip Fleezy. When I'm in, it's easy?

What does Fleezy mean in this? When it is in, it is easy. I don't know what that means. That is confusing to me. So is this still from the book, from the person from Warwick, England? Yeah. Because this sounds like a note that, like, Jack the Ripper would leave behind on a body or something. Yeah.

Yeah. Like this seems, this seems like meant to be confounding. Can you read it one more time? Yes. Flip flop fleasy. When it is in, it is easy. And when it is out, it flops all about. Flip flop fleasy.

Is it a fish? It is a fish. Yeah, we both got it. We both got it. I'd like to see a scene. JBC, you are a slutty fish. Adel, you are also a fish. The fuck.

Hey, good morning, Mike. Hey, morning. Morning, great. Hey, whoa. Oh, is that? Is that work appropriate a tire? Sorry, I'm tongue tired. Obviously, I did not get a chance to go home this weekend.

So I am. Kind of wearing the same thing I wore out Friday night to work on a Monday. Yeah, I can see your fish panties. Fish panties. Yes. Hard to say, fish panties. Fish panties, aka my scales. Looking pretty good.

Oh, the boss is coming. The boss is coming. Oh, the boss is coming. Hey. Hey, everybody. I hope you had a nice. Yeah, no worms yet. No worms yet. Hey, no, boss. We're looking. We're looking.

Oh, no, don't. I'm not trying to stress anyone out. I actually had a pretty good weekend. Oh, details. Yeah, you're telling me I can. Oh, are you gasping for air? Yeah, that was part of it. Um, anyways. Wait a minute.

Gasping for air? I'll see you guys later. Missing some scales, grill marks? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I enjoyed some seafood this weekend. What's up? Mr. Williams, did you get... No.

Were you on land? Me? Yeah. Why do you smell like lemons and capers? Were you on land? I was trying to imply that you and I sort of had fun this weekend, but you're right. I was on land and I ate fish. See, that is.

I prefer a bed of lettuce to any other kind. And frolicing about is most often on my mind. My ears are long, my short and short my tail. If you try to catch me, you will fail. This is a rabbit. It is a rabbit. I try to short his tail. Do you want to see a scene?

I ended up with my fucking shirt on the floor. What's happening? I do want to see a scene. Yeah. This is Aaron, you are Bugs Bunny. Great. At JPC, you are Elmer Fudd. Okay.

And for the first time, you guys are just seeing what happens if you go out on the first date. And we've sort of been the will-day won't-day of this, huh? Do you mind if I just talk normal? Since we're not at work, do you mind if I just talk normal? This is Dutch, right? We're going splits. On this, it's not a situation where... Hey, I feel like you're really trying to distance yourself from this being a date.

Like, you're stressed about who's paying. Like, I'll pay. I asked you out, but I asked you out. Yeah, but it seems like that's why I'm getting mixed messages, because it just feels confusing because you, you asked me out, and now you're sort of being cold and weird. Oh, okay. No, no, just like, I didn't realize I was. No, not weird.

I just seems like you're being, like, uncomfortable, and I just want. Should I get my gun? No, no, no, no. Would it help if I just got my gun? You don't have to do our work person. That's what I want. I don't want that. That's what I'm saying.

Are you nervous because I'm, like, top of the call? Like, I just, I feel like we're equals where Ben. Top. I mean, I'm literally at the top of the call sheet. Top. Yeah. You? Oh, okay.

Oh, I mean, bottom in this context, but in top in like. Thank you. Is that, is that why you're, is this like a weird? I just feel like you feel like I'm being weird, but I don't feel like I'm being. Okay. Great. Let's just start over. Yeah, let's just start over.

I would love that. I would just love to start off. Okay. Great, great. Should we get the putteen or? Is that insane choice, Poutine on the first date? Yeah, I was thinking like the carrot soup to start. I know soup's not easy to share, but you're welcome, too.

Yeah, that's like one of the hardest things to share. You're not like, you're not going to only eat carrots tonight, are you? Because this is like a nice. This is weird. This is weird. Do you feel how this is weird? We're being like bad dates to each other. We're trying to sabotage this?

You know what it is? Is that we fucked first. You're right. Which I think... You're right. Like that's... Yeah. That's out of order.

It's out of order. And now the date feels forced. I totally know what you mean. What if we just fuck again? Oh my God. I would love to just fuck again. And then we'll see... Then we can like reassess after that.

For sure. Yep. Yep. It cuts to them having a threesome with... The pig and that's not a grogoo, right? Porky's a pig, not a grogoo. Can we do a voicemail? Yeah, yeah, why not?

Never sent a voicemail to podcast. Set it off and roll the selves of its mast. You don't know where. They'll play it, but there's a thrill to not know it. It's a mystery just like a riddle. Oh, yeah. That was awesome. What a vibe.

Very cool. I heard a tambourine. Had kind of a bright eyes, Margot and the Nuclear So-and-So vibe to it. Yeah. Love. Love. That one was from Charles. Takagi, Charles, thank you so much. He said voicemail theme, they said voicemail theme under 30 seconds packed with heart.

I love every part of it. Thank you, Charles. That was outstanding. A blast. Hi, CluCrew. My name is Emma, and I found out over Thanksgiving that I have gallstones and I need to get my gallbladder removed. So what do you think is the best way for me to ask if I can at least keep one of the stones in a jar? Thanks, guys. Love you. Thank you for the question on the voicemail. Yes. Okay. So, Emma... Sorry that that happened. Yeah. And it's not our fault. Well, we don't know that.

And it doesn't have anything to do with a riddle podcast. Don't show up to our doors. Can I give you gallstones, as far as we know? I don't know if this is true, Emma, but earlier, I believe JPC said at the hospital, the customer is always right. So I think if you request the gallstone bladder to go, they cannot refuse you. They just have to put one of those little. stickers on it so you don't drink it at the hospital.

I think maybe be like casual about it. Be like, yeah, it's cat. Like, I want it for normal reasons. I'm casual about. Yeah, say it on the way out. Oh, yeah. Oh, I almost forgot. You know, because like when you go to the hospital, they like take your clothes.

They put them in a bag or whatever and they give you your clothes like when you leave because you have to wear the gown there. Be searching through your clothes and be like, oh my God. My Goldstone's not here. I did bring one and it was in the pocket. I guess if you just give me one of the. ones that you have, that's fine. Like, it doesn't need to be, I'm not the kind of person that it needs to be my gallstone. Yeah. So just like any gallstone will do. And my experience, doctors don't love it

when women talk too much. So if you get really chatty about it, you can go, actually, I think I might have to move for work in a couple weeks. And I can I hold onto these in case I go see a specialist in another state and they want to test it or see it? I just for my piece of mind, like, if you just talk a lot, they're going to, um, they're going to maybe bend. That's a great point, Aaron. And by no means should you talk too much. Do I? Is what Aaron was saying.

Should I, you're telling her to not talk to much. Your advice to Emma was to not talk too much. No, it's to talk too much. Oh, okay. Put them on the back foot. Yeah. Because then they're going to go like, I could do a back and forth with this person, but they're talking so much.

So maybe I just come in to the doctor's appointment with a fistful of gallstones. And then after they take your gallstones, stone out, throw all the gallstones up in the air. They'll all look up. This is the best idea so far. Like the second Indiana Jones. Yep, yep. Where the diamond is in the air and then somebody throws a bucket of ice and then where's

the diamond? Where's the ice? I love it when they drink the gallstone in Indiana Jones. And then the guy just, his face fucking melts. And now for the antidote. My last answer in sincerity would be, I think if you asked to what I found in a hospital is if you ever asked, like, can I see it? it, once they, like, show it to you, like, present it in a cloth or something or let you hold it.

Once they do that, you can say, like, can I just, can I have this? They're usually amenable to that. So I would say, ask to see it or say, like, I'd love to see it. Once the operation is done, I'd love to see it. And they might have it in like a little vial, a little jar. And then they, I don't think they care if you take it or not. Every time, and it's been very few times, I've ever had something removed by it from my body via surgery. They've always been like, no, we can't give it to you because it's a biohazard as soon as it's off your body, you know, yada, yada, yada. But the thing that I don't know if it'll actually work, but you might be worth a try is like claim some like religious exemption. Like, I need this for whatever religion I am. And they're all fake. I mean, you know, you can be like, uh, well, they're not all fake. I'm sorry. Scientology's real.

Yes, fine, fine. Scientology real. Uh, but yes, pick something like that. But, pick something like that. and then see if you could like skate by on like a religious exemption. That's, that's my real advice. I think JPC is throwing a bunch of callstone devices, the one. I mean, that's what I'm actually doing. Adel, do you have anything to plug? I want to plug, hello from the Magic Tavern. We just ended our, I want to say, sixth season.

Oh, thank God. I believe. So check out Hello for the Magic Tavern. Please check out the Word Association. And please check out Gum Shoes and Dragons, our podcast with Anthony Burch. which is a rollicking good time. Erin, do you have anything to plug or promote? You can check out quality time.

It's a show I host in Los Angeles. It's once a month. You can follow us on Instagram to find the day and time. And I am trying to see what date this comes out, the 10th. I'm going to wait another week for the rest of the plugs I'm going to do. JPC, do you have a review to read or anything to plug? Oh, yeah, I'd love to read a review. This one comes from Savon, maybe, Savon 5.

Savonet? Doesn't matter. Help me solve my microwave mystery. This podcast helped me solve a mystery that has been plaguing me for years. This riddle podcast featured a riddle about a woman who microwaves her coffee for two extra seconds. The answer, of course, is that she wants the mug handle to be facing her when she opens the microwave door, is help me solve the riddle of why my microwave sometimes, but not always, adds a few extra seconds to the time I punch it on the clock. Thank you, Aaron, Addle, and JPC for helping demystify my world one microwave at a time. And as always obligatory, I have to say, I do not remember that rental. I remember that one. Wow, he remembers that. Crazy. Aaron, you're actually in the market for a new microwave because you put something in there. You're not supposed to put it in there. Aaron, what'd you put in your microwave?

A squirting grogoo. Hot dogs. And now I can't cook my hot dogs in there anymore. This is the way. Sometimes you just have to lean into it. Yeah, that's what Cheryl Sandberg would say. Go with the tide. Mm-hmm.

The hot dog tides. Are you parents in the music? Oh, beautiful, hate rid of yourself. Oh, me, to be your Hey, Riddle. Oh, wonderful. Okay.

Any notes? Yeah, Casey. Just go ahead and keep one for yourself. Okay. Thank you, sir. Keep some of the episode for yourself. Hey there, planets and thicknesses. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon.

We take you to the gym. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com by joining the Clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and characters and Casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes.

A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to f***. Coming to f***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to Headgum soon. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes.

Every minute over is a minute too long. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history, all the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. with guests like Spike Jones.

I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass podcast. No, Jackass Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute.

Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad is going to happen to me. We, man.

Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast,

or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.