Hey Riddle Riddle - #416: Misty Vistas, Whiskey Mixers, Mr. Whiskers

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

It's time for some classic improv warmups. And yes, some riddles too. Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. So, Aaron, the way that you play the game is if you pass to the right, you say whiskey mixers. Okay. If you pass to the left, you say Misty Vistas. And if you pass across the circle, you say Mr. Whiskers. No, you, hold on. Misty Vistas is to the right. Whiskey Mixers is to the left.

It's to the left. Mr. Whiskers. It across the circle. Did I start with Mr. Whiskers, though? What did I say first? I'm not doing a bit. I think you also did left and right were different from what I said was left and right. But it actually doesn't matter which one is which.

You just have to pick one and commit to it. The bomb will explode 27 seconds. If we could just complete one round, the bomb diffuses. Adel, that's basically 30 seconds. We got all the time in the world. 27 seconds is not basically 30 seconds. Do you know that 30 seconds is half of a minute? No, isn't that interesting.

Yes. No. No, a minute isn't 60 seconds. It's 100. What are we talking about here? Eight seconds left. Okay. Whiskey misg-c-c-c-see, I fell right into the crap. You're out. No, it's not a man in the out. I haven't even started.

You're out. You just said it wrong. No, you're starting a tennis ball. Come on. No, you cannot. Kaboom. Caboom. That is how you play that game, right? You do get out, right? If you, if you fuck up, you get up, you have to get out of the circle. You must. Yes. You must get out of the circle. You must. All right, then let's do a different improv warm-up. Okay. What do you need? I got a big bag of improv warmups. Just tell me what you need and I'll give you the improv warmup that you need. Okay, this is a fun improv warmup. I'm going to tell you what I need and you're going to tell me the improv warmup that's going to fix this.

Got it. Okay, I feels like my brain is moving really slow and I'm going to have a hard time pulling on specific details or nouns. Therapy, Zoloft. Come on. A popular improv warmup for a lot of improvisers. Instead of zipsaps off, it's Therapy Zoloft. Anti-saconic. Therapy Zoloff beer before a show.

I knew improvisers that would, like, before they got on, they had like a specific cocktail of like uppers and downers that they had to put into their body before they could. It was like, I need to do like, I need to have a coffee, 30, minutes before the show and then before I go on stage a shot in a beer and it's like okay yeah it's like those cancel each other out well you know it's all it's all about the way that it hits your system for for when the improv show hits i would have to have a highball energy drink and a half a grapefruit um and then like maybe a tie little while yep chug water p three to four times before the show Oh my God.

So much citric acid before a show. Is that a lot of... I mean, grapefruit destroys my stomach. Okay, well, you guys are the ones who had to do comedy with me in Chicago. So did that show up, do you think, in my comedy? How would I even know how I would go about eating a grapefruit? You put a little salt on it. Yeah, I know.

I mean, the thought of eating a grapefruit is so unappetizing to me. It's like someone being like, hey, would you eat three limes? I'm like, yeah, sure, I could. That sounds so good. I'm not going to do that. Well, it would like, it wasn't, like, I would have dinner before. Like, I would go to three lines. Three limes at Whole Foods.

I'd go to Whole Foods, and I would go and make myself a perfect salad, or I'd get tacos or whatever. But, like, if I'm in a green room, at, like, a 30-minute mark, a grapefruit would, like, wake up my mouth, and there's something bright, like, brightening about it, but also bitter. Like, I don't know. It just would make me feel more present and alert. but I would I don't know how successful that was I was pretty tired all the time Al did you have a favorite pre-show ritual?

My only thing is I like here's the thing I don't know if improv warm-ups ever helped me to me my favorite thing was what World News Tonight did which is you just shoot the shit and do bits for 30 minutes before the show and that always made me feel so much more connected in terms of like oh I know what Aaron got up to this week I know that JPC's watching this thing. So it felt like that inspired some parts of the show or at least like personalized bits for people or specificity versus doing a warm up where it's like just running around screaming or something, which I never felt helped me.

What about a food routine? Like food or drink? Was there like a beverage combo that would kind of situate you into doing a show? I do remember Addle would have a shot of whiskey and punch Brett lines right in the throat before every show. Just as long. It was like an upper. and it would send Brett like into a different level.

Like suddenly they'd be like Shaolin Temple that he'd uppercut him and he'd be like the ice domain. There'd be a raucous crowd. Gora was there, I would say. Gora was there more often than not. More often than not. Yeah, then Goro got mainstaged and we stopped seeing Goro. Gora. Gora stopped showing up for the show.

Deservedly. Deservidly. No, but like we'd come back when they could, you know. We're not like, we're not doxing them. The bit where Gora puts on four puppets. Oh, my God. It's so, and it's almost like a who's on first, but with four puppets. It's unbelievable.

So, Adel, you'd have a coffee? I'd have a hot coffee with Gora. I like the hot coffee before a show, but also, if it was a show at I.O., part of it for me was that the hot coffee was always free. And I was like, oh, a free coffee, even if it's like, what, they use, like, folders there? Even if it's just, like, bad coffee. Flodgers. More like fludgers. Remember the Coke?

And I know what that means. The Cup Fair was Swannel. So it'd be like, do you want Coke or Pepsi? And it was the brand was Swanel. I didn't know that. Is that why the Coke and Diet Coke tasted so weird at I owe? It's clearly made in someone's bathtub. Like that is, that, that shit was nasty.

Also, their ginger ale had such a specific vibe to it. A zing to it. Zing. Zing is the only way to describe it. Aaron is because they dissolved spree inside of them. You know what? Sure. And this is Hey, Red and Rinala. No, but what did you have before the show? Yeah, what did you have?

Coffee. I said a coffee. A free coffee. Is that it? That's real, yeah. But you didn't have to listen to a specific song or like touch your nose three times. I listened to you. Walk me through it. So you'd sit up out of your coffin. Yeah. I'd go blah. I would listen to the goofy version of Evanescence as well. wake me up, and 100 times. And if I lost count, I'd just start over. Yeah. And then I'd just jerk off and go out there and be the funniest guy.

Everybody's ever seen, you know what I'm saying? Which is sort of a different kind of jerking off. No, I remember, and I had been doing improv long enough that I was doing improv when I was like 14 years old. And I remember being in my friend Evans' car and after school, we would all, before like a comedy sports match, we would go to Taco Bell, and I would eat like four bean burritos, and then I would just go and do a 90-minute improv show. It'd be absolutely fine. It'd just be absolutely fine. And now, like, the thought of eating like a little bit too much dinner two hours before an improv show, I'd be like,

I'm moving like a slug just like all over the stage. I think I've told you guys, but World Nus Tonight did a residency in Des Moines for like, 10 days or something, and Arnie Neacamp and I split a, I want to say it was a sourcrop pizza. It was just, we were the only two that ate it. We got violently ill to where we had to perform that night or the next day or something. Our stomachs were cramping. We were laying on the ground and like barfing and just really bad shape. But then when they said like three minutes till the second act, we popped back up, performed as well as, I mean, as well as I guess I ever have.

Flew gay. And then got out of the show and immediately collapsed. So there's something about the adrenaline and the... Yeah, the adrenaline. I was just about to say, JPCI, I'm going to do riddles. I have the eye on the ball. And I'm trying... I have the eye on the ball.

I have the eye. Oh, sorry, I'm on the ball. Glass eye. I, and I'm not trying to blow smoke up your asses either. Hey, if you wanted to blow a little, I wouldn't hate it. You would. A thin stream of smoke up my ass. I'd hate that.

Hot smoke. Oh, oh, yeah. Hot smoke. That's going to be really uncomfortable for me. Yeah, right. You could have said cold smoke and then maybe you have something there. He's getting rid of hot smoke in my ass, a little bit of hot smoke in my ass. Aaron, I'm saying no to that.

Do you guys take requests? Get out. Go. Spray. Spray him with the bottle. Go. Ah, ah. Ah.

Drop it. Go. I feel like you I could wake you guys out of a deep slumber and drop you onto a improv stage and you would be fine. Like I just, I was a very delicate person and I needed the exact right circumstances. What is? Oh, come on. I'm different this week. Did something happen in the last hour that I don't know about?

Aaron, your desk is in a different position. I should I I I I you could be completely different I feel great today I did just swallow too much of my saliva just now and now it's kind of stuck yeah click click boom sorry you said saliva it's involuntary it's involuntary when someone says saliva I have to sit click click boom um it I'm thinking back in my time of Chicago with you guys and maybe sometimes when you had like even if you guys had a really bad cold or were like hadn't slept because you had like a red eye or whatever. You guys could drop in and be like super high functioning. Do you feel like is there anything that could like what has ever taken you out? Because food poisoning couldn't take you down at all. Yeah. You know what fucks with me? And I just, first of all, I hate performing when I'm sick because, and I don't do this anymore. But when I was in my 20s, I would perform sometimes if I was like, oh, I'm like feeling a little sick. And then invariably, I'd be sick for like way longer because I stressed myself out too much when I was sick, but performing with a head cold or when I'm on cold

medicine, like for a head cold, that is the worst because the brain fogginess of having like a sinus cold is not conducive to improvise. Like people would, people would say something and it would be gone out of my head like one second after they said it. And I'm like, I'm still in the scene. I got no idea what the fuck is happening because my brain is not working. Like can't be doing that. Um, one thing that throws me off pretty hard is if I'm running late to something. So if I was like, if I was like to arrive at the theater two minutes before the show and I'm scrambling to put on my suit or something and then rushing out on stage, I think the whole show in my head, I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm everyone's mad at me. Like this sucks, this sucks. Like, why did I get here earlier? So I think that that really fucks with my sort of mindset. What about you, Aaron? Yeah, I'd say similar to yours.

Obviously, like, anytime you're like recovering from a sickness, I remember having several, like, being a nanny, you get some, like, little kid flus. And I remember like four or five days after the flu and you still have that like muscle weakness. And doing a world news show that was like the most physical thing where everyone was just being lifted in the air. And I was like, I'm going to collapse. I'm going to drop like a marionette doll. This is not going to be good. Aaron, we each played a jump rope. It's your turn, sweetie.

Why aren't you coming out? I'm just like sweating. Yeah, also like I would have a hard time when there was any sort of like personal thing happening. Like if a friend who I'm on a team with came in and they seemed a little frazzled or sad or I know they're going to a hard time or whatever and you're like, oh, we didn't have time to do a reset and you're just like kind of worried about people's feelings. That would throw me. Oh. Not knowing how everyone is. on stage.

I was always so mad when people would come in and they would have like, they'd be like, yeah, fucking horrible day. All right, let's get out there and do the show. I'm like, stay home. Just got divorced. Can we avoid scenes with couples? Time to turn it on because it's what the people demand. I'm like, nobody cares. Nobody cares if you're in this show.

Absolutely nobody cares. Your parents aren't here. Go home. Go home. Your parents are here. Go home. You're on an IV cart. Please sit this one out.

We're all firing on all cylinders today, even though, again, I don't feel warmed up. Yeah. I only have, it's a four cylinder, so it's not like a powerful, you know. They're working. Hey, I got something to say. Oh. Why are we still using horsepower? We found more powerful animals.

Yeah. We found more powerful animals. Looking behind me for another errand that's in charge of anything. Aaron. Eric should be saying this has bear power. Gorilla power 120 gorilla power Polar bear power

Thank you The only The only animal that likes hunting humans I'm so glad you're on the branding team For polar bears now Did you guys know that polar bear fur Isn't white? It's flat

Oh come on And I hate to say shut up In an improper context Canonically speaking all bears are from Charleston Prove me wrong Aaron prove me wrong. I'm from so far south. I'm from so far south.

This is how I speak. I'm a polar bear. Excuse me. Excuse me. Are you a penguin? Are you a penguin? Well, then I simply must eat you. Delectable.

Mm, delectable. Oh, I couldn't need another bite of penguin. If I just had some sweet tea and some boiled penis, this would be a smorgas board in the gazeba. Oh, a penguin et tufe. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. you don't like our Charleston Southern Dural polar bears.

I'm not saying anything because I'm hoping they'll keep going. Did you see me step out of the way and say the floor is yours, boys? Please. Okay, hold on, hold on. Hold on. Okay, hold on. Oh, well, please, yes. Okay, you guys are two polar bears from the south.

This is a TV show that's coming to like AMC this fall. Oh, prestige. Yeah, and this is like sort of small town drama. Maybe there's something mysterious happening, but you guys are two Southern polar bears. And the show is called Two Southern Polar Bears.

I woke up this morning to see a circle on the ceiling. A circle on the ceiling. The birds are back. Oh, Clyde. The birds are back. My good man, I apologize to you. That was a Coca-Cola bottle that I had placed above the igaloo that we live here. That was not a boy in a circle on a ceiling.

Well, still doesn't explain the birds. Oh, so there were birds. Clive, the birds are back. We're probably trying to get a drink of that sweet Coca-Cola that I had placed upon a ceiling of our igaloo. We saw ourselves the secrecy that no one would learn about what we discovered in that cave. Plus, we did a kind of like a Brokeback Mountain situation as well

And that was also a Swarm for secrecy Yeah Will yels? Yeah Whiles? Here I am one of your wives Oh, how much did you here Picks up a big

Blunt object Can I smoke some of that as well Ed Hathaway It is so good to see you here So good to see you Who's the other wife from Burkbeck Mountain? And Hathaway and Michelle Williams. Michelle Williams.

Can I tell you guys something that I've been absolutely fucking obsessed with lately? But for the record, I tried to start riddles. Yeah, for sure. You get points. I've been obsessed with this lately. Do you guys know who the comedian Nate Margotsie is? Yes. Oh, yeah.

So recently he's got a ton of flak because he's like a clean comedian, I guess. I don't know much about him. But I did know he went to like the Trump UFC event and then people are really mad at him for. He did the classic, I'm a whittle baby. and I didn't think it was political. Yeah, not political to go to the president. President Trump's birthday party, his like UFC birthday party. No.

That's a 250 celebration. And his defense, he is a whittle baby. And how would he know? But, the, and we saw, I think, seen maybe, maybe Mandalorian and Grogo in theaters, but there, all the previews for his movie, which has since come out and really flopped, the breadwinner. But I didn't know that it was like his studio, like, produced that movie,

which is why he's, you know, the star of it or whatever. But if you haven't people who haven't seen the breadwinner trailer, go and go and watch the breadwinner trailer. Because it's like, it feels like a Christian movie that should have made like 25 years ago that happened to come out in 2026. It looks like

a series of pine saw ads. Yes. Or it's like, mom's gone. The house has gone to shit. Girls, pick up a pine saw wipe. Pinesaw ads from 2003. That's what it looks like. He'd say the world has gone to crumbs or something like that, I think, because he's family-friendly. But before that movie even came out, they knew it was going to be such a flop that they started saying in the previews or in the trailer, ask about paying the Nate rate to see the movie, which is kind of the craziest concept I've ever heard, like, the history of advertising.

But I've been obsessed with the Nate right. And I want to like, I want to go everywhere I go. I want to ask if I could pay the Nate rate. I want to see how... You do. You're a white man. You've been paying the Nate rate your entire life. What if I could get an even deeper discount?

You got a lap dance for $85, which is amazing. They're like, your groceries come back to $100. She hates being there. $116. And I'm like, yeah, is there any way that I could pay the net rate on these groceries? It's just kind of skim, skim about $8 off there. Of course, sir. Of course, sir.

Here's the Nate rate. The Nate rate is so funny. I am curious if you go to like an AMC ticket stall. and you're like, can I have the Nathan rate if they're like, buddy, buddy, buddy. Buddy, you can't. No, no, no, no. Say it.

Can I have the Bar Gatsy bar discount? You have to call it the Nate rate. I also want to be like, hey, I can't get the Nate rate on that? Spielberg said I could have the Nate rate on Disclosure Day. Did you guys see Disclosure Day? No, I haven't seen it. Oh, boy. I won't go as I can pay the date rate.

Yeah. It's bad. Yeah, I went alone and sat next to this like 23 year old guy next to me who had also gone alone. And we just were, I think we both were getting hit with the same moment of realization at the same time. And then we were laughing in unison for the rest of it because I was like, what happened? What happened here? Which sucks because arrival, I would say, is in my top 25 movies, top movie movies. Mm-hmm.

And this felt like a kissing cousin to arrival. And I like Spielberg. Villeneu. Villeneu. This is Spilberg, you know? The one thing that's not spoilery that I'll say, oh my God, I can't believe we're this far in. I'm sorry. The one thing I will say is I think that people are so much more warm and earthy and charming when they get to speak in their true accent.

Aaron, I couldn't agree more. I know. I definitely agree with that. Aaron. I definitely agree with that. go back to your normal voices. Because three of the leads of Disclosure Day are doing American accents when, like, one is Irish and two are British.

And I'm like, I just think, just let them talk in their regular voices. Anyways, we're going to do some riddles. We're going to do as many as we came before break. We have to. This is good. The blood will be on my hands. I want to start, Aaron, but I agree that we've been fucking around way too much this episode. So can I just say to anyone who is listening to this episode and you are mad that we didn't

get to things fast enough, you can pay the Nate rate for this one. This one is not going to be a full price episode. You get the Nate rate all this. We'll give it to you. Go to Google.com type in Nate rate parentheses, pay riddle riddle plus southern polar bears. What did you say? Anybody who subs to the Patreon. Anyone who subs to our Patreon in the next week gets the Bargazzi and Burr discount

and the Nate rate, you get both. I'm going to stack both of them. So that'll be, so it'll total it'll be $5 a month. Adel, can you remind people what that is? Is it that you get to learn that women are people by the end of the movie and that moms work hard? That's exactly right. And one special person will get a, what we call a golden ticket, which is they will see that for Bargazzi, Bargratzi, of course, Gratzy Italian for free. Free.

Hey, hey, guys, I think we should, I think we should do the breadwinner for review crew. I really, I really think that we should want. I think we should do it. I know that being a mom is hard. Aaron, what? I believe women would say. It's not about, it's not that being a mom is hard, Aaron. That's not what the movie's about at all.

Being a parent is hard. No, it's about how being a dad is hard specifically. Because moms are like taught all that stuff. Dear Clue crew. At the 2025 Denver Live show, I told JPC I wrote a bunch of riddles for you guys. He said, you desperately need them. So obviously I sat on these for several months before sending them to you. Nice.

Also, shout out to his friend Connor for getting him into the show. Connor with two ends, by the way. What do you mean getting him in? He bought a ticket, right? Yeah, I think he bought a fucking ticket, right? No, he got the, it's saying here, he got the Nate rate. In 2025, he got the Nate rate. Big old basketball on top of a stroller.

Okay. He says, thanks for the laughs. Sean Kay from Fort Collins, Colorado. And he is a patron, so he's not paying the Nate right. He's paying the real, the real deal. Nothing wrong with paying the date rate if it's offered. The Aaron Farron? The Aaron.

Okay. So, we are going to do, I think, some of Sean's riddles this time, and we'll come back to more later. Because there's so many. Add over 5% of? I like it. In this game, I will give you. JP free, JP. Oh, hold on.

No, hold on that now. JP coupon. There we go. In this game, I'll give you a weird sentence that should clue you into a car make and model. Okay. I know Aaron and Adel aren't experts on car names, so I hope they're easy enough that you can get them by free, get them by free associating and using your Mad Gab skills. Wait, did John say that you guys? I got my GED and GMC.

You guys weren't good at car names, but I was left out of that. What the fuck? As I think he assumed that you would be the one rating. That I've, oh, oh, oh. You're an Indianapolis boy, so you know all the cars. Motorsports. Vroom vrum. No, but I think Adel and I have also declared that we don't know much about cars on the show.

Okay. A police horse goes wild and leaves the squad just to cross a river. Mustang. Mm-hmm. Mustang Bridge. Ford Mustang. Yep. The sports coat of a famously unlikable SNL alum.

Chevy Chase. Mm-hmm. Chevy? Blazer. Blazer. Yes. Yeah. Gambit's love interest.

Rogue. Her leg. Gets her leg joint cut off by a spooky rosy-cheeked movie puppet. Rosie's the rogso. Isn't it? Nissan Rogue? Yeah. Neesaw.

Neesaw. Neesaw Rogue. I'm like, where does Nissan fit it? I truly was like, I know it's a Nissan, but this is something completely different. Me, son. I got it. An incident at an Australian pub leads to a jumping marsupial filing a lawsuit. The Subaru brawl.

The Subaru bar brawl. Subaru Outback. Yes. Subaru Outback. Taking a page out of Frazier, a green Star Wars doll leaves things behind to build a life near Puget Sound. Hmm. This is a Nantucket Grogo. Come on.

Can you read again? Yes. Taking a page out of Frazier. Are you sure? The Volkswagen scrambled eggs? Oh my God. A green Star Wars doll leaves things behind to build a life near Puget sound. What is the taking a page out of Frasier?

Tacoma. Yep. Who makes Tacoma? What is a doll? A doll? A doll? Or like a car or like block. Toy Yoda

Toy Yoda Tacoma Wow These are fun Okay so Tacoma Is that where Fraser is from? Yep Or I guess just in that area

Just Washington or whatever He's from C-Tac yeah The identity of a famous Missing Airplane Hijacker Reveals he's a small little guy The DB Cooper Muhammad Atta You got part of it

Sorry The Volkswagen DB Cooper The Cooper's right Mini Cooper Mini Cooper from that movie with Jason

Statham or something Yes Italian job Italian job That's the one Where Oh God Who's the nerd in that movie

Who has the stereo That can blow women's clothes off Seth Green Seth Green That's right Seth Green I feel like after that movie Everyone was like

I gotta get my nasty little fingers On a Mickey Cooper I do want to see That Yeah Aaron and JPC, you are two well-lawed and regarded crooks, and you have concocted an Italian job

in which you will infiltrate and rob an Italian restaurant, and this is you two entering the restaurant doors. All right, is the plan clear to you? Absolutely. Are you ready to do this? Yes. Puts on mask. All right, ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, please. Okay, we're not on this impede. I'm sorry, what? Okay, last name. Oh, shoot. Shoot. Oh, shoot. A shoot.

A shoot. Oh. S-H-O-T-E? No. A-S-H-O. A-S-H-O-T. We're sort of in-between plans here. Okay.

We have you by the window. Is that okay? It's you by the window. Can you put us by the... Oh. Kitchen. As close to the kitchen as possible as possible, Absolutely, I'll be way in the back here.

Let's make our back. Perfect. Perfect. I was going to keep your mask on, I guess. You want to hear about our specials? Not from you, from a waiter. I won't hear from a host about specials.

Where you do, think? Hey, uh, bye, hey, uh, thanks for your help. Into $40. Oh, $40. What do you do? What are you doing? We needed that. We got to remember to steal that back on our way out.

Yeah, that's the, that's our driver's cut. I know, but she seems... We heard her feelings. I know, but our driver's not going to drive us if we don't have $40. It's a cash Uber. Okay, okay. I feel like we're not in the same page. Let's stick to the plan, the plane that we rehearsed, okay? No, I thought we were going to go with the plan that we talked about in the car. Wow. Wait, which time in the car? On the way he... Oh, okay.

That, on the way here was the plan? I thought you were telling me about a dream you had. No, I said, let's go in. Let's sit. Let's have. have a nice meal. Yeah, but you said that it was like it looked like the restaurant but not the restaurant? Yeah. I figured. Because we hadn't been here in a while. Because we hadn't been here in a while.

Okay, what was, okay, let's do a whole airplane. Let's get up. Okay, we're going to, all right, we're going to stand up from our seats. All right, fine. I just wanted to have a little bit of a bread basket. We'll go to the front. Hey, everybody. We're about to rob you.

We're here for the restaurant's meatballs, not your meatballs. Okay. They think we're performing. Oh, man. Okay. Yeah. It looks like at 6.15, there's a timer. It says, we're on a stage. It looks like at 615 somebody comes out and does an act of some sorts. This is not part of tonight's entertainment. I think he's great. We have real hand saws. Okay. We're dangerous people. Hand saw. I thought you. See, no. Oh, you wanted me to bring sawed off shotguns. I just brought the saw part. I thought we were going to make our own shotguns. here from at the restaurant.

This has been so expensive so far. This is so expensive. We're bleeding money. Italian restaurants don't, they're not like cash rich. What do we think we're going to get out of here? Meatballs. That's the whole thing. I thought that was another way of saying money.

I thought that's how Italian people said money. Oh, wow. When I get home, I'm going to look up if I'm Italian. I'm going to look up if I'm Italian. That's not offensive. And it might be really offensive. No, that's probably a common colloquialism. See.

Oh, our mail, our inbox is going to get flooded. Sorry. Do not mail us meatballs. Do not mail us meatballs. Let's go on a break. We'll be back in a couple minutes. Excuse me, in episode of 415, Aaron McKeef. Run, run, run.

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Quinn has home goods. They have sheets. They became a trusted favorite from everything, from home to travel to every day. essentials. Plus, I played Peter Quince in Mid-Summer Night's Dream when I was in high school. And maybe one time after that. I think I've been in it twice. So make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince.com slash riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash riddle. For free shipping and 365 day returns, quince.com slash riddle. Actually, you guys, I've said quince so much. I'm now remembering I played

bottom the weaver. I did not play. Peter Quince and Midsummer Nights Dream in high school and one other time after that. Played Bottom the Weaver twice. Yeah, so anyway, I'm at the restaurant. I'm having a nice meal. And then the guy comes up and he taps on the Mader D or whatever, taps me on the shoulder. And he says, you have to leave the restaurant. I know that those aren't real hands.

You can't wear fake hands at the restaurant. I know you're the guy who's been coming into the restaurant to steal salt and ketchup in your fake hands and filling your fake prosthetic hands up with salt and ketchup. up. So I make a big scene, you know. He's roughing me up. He's basically my hand starts leaking salt and ketchup all over the place. Oh, sorry, I'm getting a call from Rocket Money. Yeah, no, yeah, take it. Yeah, take it. Unless, did you? No, no, no, it sounds like an important call. Oh, my God, guys. I just got the best follow up from Rocket Money. They just canceled one of my subscriptions and I didn't even have to do it. They did it for me.

You guys talk about Rocket Money, the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel on one the subscriptions monitors are just spending and help. helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings, right? Yeah. Yes. I wish I was using Rocket Money. Wouldn't have to still sell them ketchup from restaurants. Oh, that's, oh, I'm, I didn't realize I can lend you money.

But yeah. No, I mean, you don't have to do that. I would appreciate it. I mean, it's been tough times. Yeah, I'm just a little flush right now because Rocket Money, like we say, can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with a few taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions. That's a lot. Not that I have 880 million, but let's just say I'm doing pretty well.

I've been using Rocket Money way before they were even a sponsor of the show. It is so good for my brain. If you're like me and you're a little disorganized, it's all color-coded. You can set up budgets for yourself. You can consolidate checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give yourself a clear view of your financial picture. So you don't get surprised by anything. There's no little dark corners in your, your bank account anymore. You know exactly what's going on and exactly where your money's going. Well, Rocket Money also lists use automated savings that grow towards goals with adjustable amounts and frequencies for a set of and forget an approach. So if I wanted 100 pounds of ketchup and 100 pounds of salt by tomorrow, all I have to do is, oh, save that much solid ketchup. Okay.

Excuse me, it's me, the matri-D. I just wanted to confront you and say, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster, Join at rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle. JBC stole all this ketchup. Hmm. Rocket money.

Leave your prosthetic hands at home because you're going to have enough salt and ketchup at home that you don't need prosthetic hands at a restaurant. Rocket money. Goodness that is better myself. Hey, everybody. It's me, Adel Raffi's nephew, Jaddle Rify, and I am here to talk to you guys

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designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. Just like I am completely satisfied with my uncle, Adel. I am Adel's nephew. I believe I said my name was Jaddle. Jaddle Rify. That's my name. And Helix is the most awarded mattress brand. It is tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. Now, I know what you're thinking. Jaddle, Jaddle, Jaddle, Jaddle. If I say the name three times, I will remember it. Jaddle, I know you love your Helix sleep mattress. How do I get mine? Well, it's easy. Go to helixleep.com slash riddle for the 4th of July sale. That sale is running now through July 12th, and it is 20% off site wide, 25% off Lux mattresses, that's what I've got, and 30% off elite mattresses.

I don't even know about elite mattresses. I might have to upgrade. That's helixleep.com slash riddle for the 4th of July sale. Helixleep.com slash riddle. Jaddle Rify. Hello and welcome back from the break. We have some more riddles from Sean Kaye. And these are hinkpinks.

Oh, yeah. Okay, these are the brics. Do that hinkpinks jingle. Hink pinks, hang pinks Did you know that Nate Rates a hink pink Hank pink Everyone get Nate's rate Nate Rate is a hink pink

I would love it I don't know if you guys are too young to remember But there used to be a game show Reality show Where it was like Lorenzo Llamas and someone else And they just have laser pointers And people would get on stage in like a bikini

Or like underwear and they take their lasers and be like, this sucks, this part of your body sucks, and they just do that. I feel like Nate Rate could be something similar, where Nate Bargazzi rates your body. Yeah, I would really love to hear his feedback on my body. When I think about people who I want to hear from,

it's kind of him. It's got to be family friendly, though, because this whole thing is family friendly. So it's like family-friendly body rating. Yeah. He lasers circles my tummy and says, like, looks like someone's the bread eater. Okay, this is actually...

Breadwinner in theaters. You're giving him way too much credit. Okay. A cucumber preserved in brine that's always changing its mind. A fickle. Yes. The fifth month plus 24 hours equals a call for help. Mayday.

Mm-hmm. I would like to see a scene. Okay. JPC. The fifth month is love. I just watched that movie. What did you say? The fifth month is love.

Oh. JPC. Lidu. Okay. Stop. And I hate to say this again in an improv podcast, but shut up. No, but guys, seriously, don't say shut up in an improv context. It really stops the action.

Yeah. Unless you're going to say, shut up and dance with me, you're totally allowed to say that in an improv concept. Yeah, but it has to, there has to be a really good reason. by you're singing, I'll walk the moon. Yeah, you're at a wedding. JPC, you are in a submarine and something is going horribly wrong, and you are trying to communicate with someone like on a, like a Navy ship or something. And Adel, you keep getting sidetracked when he's trying to call for help.

This is the USS Cephalopod. Again, I am putting out a distress signal. Our systems are compromised. We are swimming blind down here. Does anyone come in? This is San Antonio. Copy. Paste and click.

Sorry, I'm just finishing up. Hold on a second. I'm sorry, San Antonio. Oh, the USS San Antonio? The Naval Cruiser? That's right. Oh, okay. Thank God.

Again, this is the USS Cephalopod. We are 40,000 leagues under right now, and our sonar is out. We're flying blind down here. We have no idea where we are. Really, Jules Vernon over there. Okay, page one. Did you mean me?

Emanuel, did you say my name? I was thinking about going to get lunch. Do you want me to grab you something? Ooh, uh, uh, how, um, uh, cephalopod, how, how, how, how much time do you think you have? Do you think you have, like 45? Very little, very little time. I don't, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could bang into something. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're at risk of dying down here.

And I haven't picked a spot yet, so if you're craving anything, I can. Uh, maybe we do this. Vending machine lunch again. Oh, come. Oh, come. You want to talk to Manuel? Say hi, Manuel. Aren't you guys on a...

Hi, Emmanuel. A naval cruiser? Um... There shouldn't be very many lunch options on a naval cruiser, right? We're docking. We're docking today. So, I was thinking about getting a Chipotle or something. You're docking.

No, please. This is a distress call. You have to find us. Where... Some of the crew is dead. Well, any calls of distress. stressed skull with that attitude. Listen, you signed up for this?

You know how to swim, right? It wouldn't matter. The pressure would kill me if I got into the water. He just told me it's your birthday today. How, happy birthday. Oh, please, don't make a big deal of it. No, not you. Who's on the phone? This is, I'm the captain of the U.S. Ocephalopod. Who? I'm a secret submarine captain.

It's my birthday today. I'm 41. Whoa. What's that? No, nothing. I just saw a spider. See, that's a spider response. 41.

Well, thank you for calling, and I hope you'll leave me a good review. The ship is making a horrible sound. The pressure's building. I think we're all going to die down here. And I don't want to die before I've had sex. 41, you said? So. These phone calls stress you out.

Dude, you don't have to pick up the phone. It's 2026 and there's a male loneliness epidemic. Okay? Oh, hang up. Hang up. It's not weird that I haven't had sex. Hang up. Hang up.

Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Okay. One of the four chambers that makes up this beating organ. Art part. Part. Part.

I'd like to see another. scene. Sorry. The three of us are three organs that you would find in someone's body. No one would be funny and be a piano. Sorry to cut you off at the legs there. Sorry. Sorry to be such a jerk. Everyone can decide what they are. You can be whatever organ you want to be. Got it.

Pompomp, pump pump pump pump pump pump. Pumping blood. Oh, hey heart. Hey. How's it going? Good. You were so good in your performance last night. I'm sorry, none of us. I've asked about it yet. Oh, that was last night. Oh, how was it? I've been told it was good. And sorry, I have my back turned. Who am I? Sorry, I was totally completely filled with P, so I couldn't make it. Lungs. Come on. I fucking knew. I fucking knew you were going to do this to me. I fucking knew you were going to do this to me.

I fucking knew you were going to do this to me. What were you doing? Lungs were you removing carbon dioxide from the P so that you could turn it into oxygen? Come on. You talk about your thing. I'm trying to be nice to heart. They were shitty and phantomly off. Hey, shut up.

Lung shut up. Next time, send it my way. I'm the bladder. I can handle all that. Oh, yeah, you're the bladder. Oh, you're the bladder. You can handle all that stuff. More like the blather.

Shut up. What? And dance. You know we're dying, right? You know we're dying. If I'm filled with pee, that means you're fucked too. Do you know what I mean? Everybody's dying, okay?

That's what living is, lungs. We're dying every day. We die a little bit more every day. Okay. But seriously, lungs? Don't. You don't have to handle the pee, okay? Tap me next time.

Give me a tap and let me know. Hey, handle the pee. I'll do it. Yeah, you were pretty drunk and you were passed out, so. Yeah, that's fucking liver's fault. Oh, my God, liver and I went out last night. Did you go say something about me lost? Hey.

Liver, ooh, you look rough. I heard you. You look so rough. Gorgeous Phantom of the Opera last night. Sorry, I couldn't make a... I had a family function. Ooh, she's got cirrhosis under her eyes. Do I?

Thank you. I love to be complimented. I love to be complimented to build some of my confidence. And I love it, thank you. Hey, Liver, why didn't you take a night off? You know, why don't you maybe take it easy? for a spell. No, no. I told intestines that, and um, kidneys. Large, small? Small intestines and kidneys, um, uh, and appendix, obviously that I was going to go out. For appendix is going

away, party. Look, look at lungs. Lungs is drinking more pee. Why? Why does Lugs do this? Hey, everyone. Brain here. Can whoever's drinking pee, please. Stop. Nobody move. Please. If we're very still. Don't make me come down there. He doesn't notice anything.

He will come down here, but he will. He'll send skin. He'll send skin. I know. He'll send skin down here. He'll send nervous system. Hey guys, actually, yeah, I am down here. I just want to make sure everyone's okay.

Just coming down through the spinal fluid and I'm just sort of everywhere. Is lungs drinking pee? Lungs is, yeah, lungs is drinks. Pea again. And whose fault is that? Chugging pee. Lungs? Brain?

What do you think? What should I say? Sounds like bladder is really dropping the ball. And we pull out and see Aaron playing this person whose organs we've been viewing. I'm drunk on the couch. Booing a video of a squirrel trying to get a nut that it buried a while ago. Dog standing on two legs on the arm of the couch, pissing into your mouth. Yeah.

Seed. Okay. Don't put that on Lou. It would be Lou doing it. We don't want Lou doing it. No, it wouldn't be. I said Aaron was playing a character. I didn't say it was Aaron.

Lou is sound asleep. Aaron wears her character. It's like a thin veil. Over time, this colorful latex coating has dulled. Paint, faint, paint, paint, paint, paint. The worst brother-in-law, known for excessive whining. Mitch, bitch? Yes, bitch, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch,

Wow. Can I tell you in the family group chat last night, my sister and brother-in-law, Mitch. Get me in there. Why am I not in there? Aaron knock, knock, let us in. What's the name of the group chat? Let us in. No way are you allowed in there.

Who's in there? Well, okay. It is my mother and father. Okay. Kathleen and Mitch. Okay. Molly and Jimmy. Sure.

And then me. I'm so far. So you have a plus one. I do technically have a plus one. It's called Jimmy and Friends. Me, get me in there. And it is a photo of Jimmy at the Hey Rital Riddell Live show is the group photo. We're called Jimmy and Friends right now.

What can I do to get in there? Is there some sort of like charity auction where I can be in there for 24 hours there? And like how can I get in there for one day? I just need, what do I pay? Who do I read a check to? If you donate $100 to the charity of my choice. Done. Let's say like, let's do plan.

Another hundred enambla, Aaron, done. And you can be in there for 24 hours. And, but I, what is your plan? Are you planning on stirring the pot or upsetting the ecosystem? Or are you just there to observe like a zoo? Oh, interesting. So you think that my $100 to your fake charity gets you access to my plan as well? Fake charity.

Okay, so yeah, then I don't get to know your plan. Okay, $125 if I don't get to know your plan. Okay, yeah, that's fine. I'll do it. I'll do that every day. I'll budget that shit, so I pay it. I'll give, you know, what's the $125 a day? $365.

Doesn't matter. I'll pay it, man. I'll pay whatever I need to pay. You can get in for one day, but you got to pay. Is it cheaper to break up Molly and Jimmy and insert myself in there just to get in? But then I lose Jimmy. Jimmy's a very fun part of the group chat. And Jimmy is the only one that listens to Hayrelor,

little. Whoa. Sucks to find out like this. I know. Well, my mom will drop in at the most inopportune times. Jimmy's the only one. What are we doing this fucking show for? It's just Jimmy listening to it. You mean we have one listener and it's fucking Jimmy? Come on. He's pretty caught up to. I bet like we'll hear about this within a couple weeks of it coming out that he'll. No, no, no, no. There's more than one listener because it's my cousin, Lindy and some of Mariah's co-workers. Oh, hello, Mariah's co-workers. Oh my God. I would have worn a better shirt if I'd known they were here. How do you do? What shirts do you have that are better, Erin? Most.

White with one rose. Hey. At the neck. And listeners, I'm talking to you when I say, it's time to propose to Molly. I know. And that's for Maraisco workers. And a quick reminder that you have to come on the show and ask for all three of our permissions. You promised.

I'll give it in the good chat. I'll just give my permission to the group chat directly to Jimmy. In front of everybody. Yep. So in the group chat, Mitch and Kathleen expressed that they loved the finale of Widows Bay. And I was watching it by myself. And so I said, hey, can we do a separate little chat, just the three of us?

And you can let me know moments that maybe I can close my eyes, scary moments. And they said, you're good, nothing at all. And then the number one thing that I was scared of seeing happens in that last episode and I went, why didn't you mention that? And I woke up to a text this morning from my sister going, ha ha, sorry, I closed my eyes for that part. Okay. And I went

what, they say you're not qualified to give me a warning. But here's the thing, Erin, you know that you don't like scary things, but you're watching a scary show. So like, you're already, you're already in pretty deep water here, right? Exactly. And that's why I go, hey, beloved brother in law, beloved sister. Can you guys give me a

quick heads up? You don't have to find me the exact minute mark, just go, hey, when you see something like this, something like this is about to happen. Maybe close your eyes. And that's all I needed. We can beep this part, but I'm assuming a lot of people have seen the finale already. The part Aaron's talking about is Chris Elliott shows up. And I know that's Aaron's number one, number one thing that she doesn't like to see in movies.

I was like, tell me to close my eyes when Chris Elliott shows up. I say that all the time. We know when Chris Elliott is about to show up and that's what she was saying. When this happens, tell me, because the temperament. which in the room drops 10 degrees. My niece swells a little bit. Yeah. A little bit.

A lot. Mr. Modesty. JPC, there's really only like... That's as big as a summer pumpkin. There's really only... Yeah, they're smaller. There's really only like one disagreement or argument or fight over in that group chat. Like once a year.

And it's mostly like pictures and videos of my niece is being funny and sweet. And then yesterday we're talking about Widows Bay. And then I said, just finish. let's see if those sluts over on Love Island can cheer me up and they could not because it's also a bloodbath over there. I want to change my request, Aaron. Sure.

The one time a year where there's any sort of strife or disagreement or something happening in the group chat that is maybe causing some antagonistic feelings or behavior, I want you to do this. I want you to change my contact in your phone. Actually, I don't think you actually even need to do that. I want you to say, guys, I've hired a professional mediator

to help us sort through this. And then I want you to add me to the group chat. Now, I will never reveal, I will never reveal that I be. I will only play. Well, now Jimmy's going to know, though. Jimmy, you keep this to your fucking self. You take this to your goddamn grave, Jimmy. And then I go in, I pretend to be a professional doctor who is a mediator.

I mediate the situation and then I leave. I promise. I walk, I walk away. You never see me again. That's actually so funny. JBC, I actually will take you up on that because nothing would make me laugh harder. I fight with my family an individual text for the most part. I'm not the one.

So I'm just saying like I'm happy to bring you in to mediate. Sure. Back in the day I had a friend who would find two people with the same first name on Facebook. This is back when people used Facebook. And he would start a group chat because you could do this on Facebook with like two people named Kevin. And he goes, hey, you're both named Kevin. And then he would leave the group chat. So he would just leave you in a group chat with a strange group.

I hope that those two Kevins are married. Aaron, you saying those little sluts on Love Island or whatever makes me think, should we do a patron that's like slut cove or like slut peninsula that's like a parody of, yeah, okay. Whenever you want, I'm ready to go. God, that show stresses me out. I think that they should have one normal person on there or two, like one normal couple just to keep you grounded and tethered to earth because it is, you're just watching

hours and hours of it and you're like, this cannot be what I am too. Like, I'm not the same species as these people. I watched, I've watched Love Island before because my wife loves Love Island, but the guy who does the announcing for Love Island, you never see him in the show, but he's just like the voice of Love Island. He's the best part, yeah. And he's so good that he's also the voice, I think, of the U.S. Love Island. I think they tried like a different voice, but they're like, no, this guy's got the best. We just got to use this guy. One time my wife showed me, like, what that guy looked like and I was like oh that guy's like a young looking guy in my mind he was like one of those like a Greg Proops level like zany comedians like at his like 50s or whatever but I was

like no this is just like a normal looking guy he's like a handsome British he could be on love island comedian who I think was on a season of past master well he should be on love island please put him on Love Island and still let him narrate let him do all let him do his thing as a contestant on Love Island. That would be so good. I saw one season of Love Island, the UK version, which was stellar. It was so good and weird and fucked up. But the host was pretty good.

But there's a moment where she was talking about how she's such a nerd or something. She's like, I'm such a nerd. I do cartwheels on the beach. And then she goes, I'm so weird. And I'm like, and she was gorgeous. And I'm like, I feel like. I'm a monster to you guys. that if that's weird.

I feel like very attractive. People are like, I'm such a weirdo. I do cartwheels on the beach. And I'm like, that's like a, that's like what a, you do in a photo shoot or something.

Like, what are you talking about? But I just love that that's like their, but you know what weird is different. Everyone is a different baseline for weird. Like we drink R&P and stuff like that. So we can't, we don't know what weird is,

huh? But for them for like a model who's like a professional model. Yeah. Like, oh, none of my other model friends are doing cartwheels on the beach. So maybe I, I am weird.

to my model crowd. I leave the fridge door open until it beeps. I'm such a freak. Like, okay. Okay. We're going to finish up these hink pinks

from Sean K. After spinning around and around, this imaginary magical friend should take a seat before he pukes. Dizzy Wizzy. Yes. Dizzy Wizzy.

I do want to see a seat. Sure. JPC you are Wizzy, the Aaron's imaginary wizard from her childhood Aaron, you are Aaron And this is The drinking pee Aaron or the Aaron Aaron Aaron? Doesn't matter, those are the same thing

And this is the day of your Your wedding, Aaron, and this is Wizzy just having a talk to you to say goodbye. I'm so sorry you get killed after this. No, you know. You know, it goes with the territory. God, I can't believe you're all grown up. I mean, look at you.

You look beautiful. Oh, thanks. Can I pour you a drink or something? Uh, you know, you could imagine me, like a gym beam wouldn't be bad if you... Ice? Um, yeah. Oh, and if you, uh, while we're imagining things, if you wouldn't imagine me, like a little, um, a couple bumps of cocaine. Yeah, yeah.

Because it's my last thing, you know. Of course, yeah, yeah. It's my last day, kid. We had some good times together, chasing around a little tree and cast a magic spell. So a little imagination cocaine. Hey, here's a crazy question. You're about to get married. This is your wedding day.

You're going to have a day. You're going to, you know, make them memories. Yeah. Could you imagine Wizzy some hookers? I'm way ahead of you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm imagining a couple.

Exactly your type. Who are these guys? Yeah, guys. Hey, Betty. How's it going? Okay, so when you said my type, you met like mirror images of me. That's not necessarily what I'm attracted to. Hey, come on.

Don't you masturbate in the mirror? First of all, that's not masturbation. That's how I cast spells. Okay? That's, by the way. In the mirror, eye contact with yourself. Hey, guy, that's your imagination, okay? Me?

No, me. Not this guy. I don't know this guy. Who, what do you? What's your name guy? You know what? Whizzy, I got... Your name's Jizzy?

Yeah. Actually, I like this guy. Yeah. Give him a shot. I think you're going to have a really nice time. Give a shot. Okay, here's some Jim Beam. Here's a little cocaine.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I snorted a Jim Bean and I drank the cocaine. Why do birds suddenly appear? Jizzy. I love this guy. All right. And you guys have a domino. I'm going.

I'm going. I'm going. You order us dominoes? Aaron. Yeah, that's coming after you guys come. What's up? Can you imagine us, them swords? Some swords.

Oh, Aaron, please, some swords. Oh, that's how I want to go out. I want to go out in a duel against Chizzy. I need to find a better therapist. This is me. This is coming from my brain. And something's going on if this is what's rattling around my subject. You're in a coma, sweetheart.

Good and good. But you're also getting married. It's like a while you were sleeping situation. But he's also in a coma. But he's in a coma. The hospital thought it would be cute. And honey, you are no Sandy Bullock. All right.

You are no Sandy Bullock. All right. Who is? Who is? Who is? All right. You too crazy, kids. You have fun.

Who is? Love you. Love you. I love you. I can't get out. I can't get out of the room. See? Wanned me, daddy.

Coming in clutch and lending assistance to the podcast, even Travolta would call this wise puzzle writer wickedly talented. Travolta Rolta A sandy dandy Handy Sandy Handy Yep

Ow ow ow ow ow Can you wash your hands Endorsed by all your favorite 90 celebrities A new themed restaurant chain celebrates fourth host Avatar In the worlds they live on

Hard Rock Planet Hollywood Fourth hosts Avatar in the world they live on Varney Cora Cafe Corribora Coribora

Corabora Alice. You're close because it's... It's Janet Planet. Planet Janet. Planet Janet. Planet Janet. Coraboros is a avatar that eats its own avatar. And we don't have a voicemail or theme, right?

Why not? You have called a riddle, riddle at their voicemail line. We're sure your messages will be sublime. We cannot wait to hear your thoughts, 30 seconds all you've got and if somehow you dialed wrong, your chance to bail is almost gone. You have called 805 riddle one. What it did.

Oh my God. Is that Ben Platt? Genuinely one of my favorite one to have ever gotten. That was Ben Platt. Ben Platt didn't leave their name so I can't give them credit. But thank you so much for submitting. Also, they had a line in that about like how long you have to bail.

People always assume when they leave a voicemail that they'll like, there will be like an end to it where they can like delete the message, but there is not. So sometimes people won't call. They'll be like, oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, okay. How do I delete it?

How do I delete it? Okay, just delete, just wait. I'll just wait to delete the message. And then I just get a two-minute message of someone freaking out. Now we have to do an episode that's just all that. All the overtime voicemails. I feel like it's,

It's one of these things where it's like too mean. Like if it was Aaron leaving the voicemail, I would play it every day on my birthday. But since it's like just a listener, I'm like, this is too mean to this. This is just a person having the ultimate embarrassing experience. I can't put this out there. I don't think it's embarrassing. I like it. Well, Aaron, good.

I'm ready for the voicemail. Would you do it? When you do it to me, I'm going to do it every year on my birthday. Good. Hey guys, big fan. I need your help. I'm taking a stand-up class right now. And while I'm really loving it, when the performance endorphins wear off, I feel so shitty.

So I need to know how do you guys take care of yourselves after a performance? Thank you. Love you. That's a great question. Was that Nate Bargazzi? Yeah, I got the Nate rate on that. I, yeah, that happens. I didn't know about that.

And it happens all the time. And I think it happens a lot after we record remotely. because you kind of like turn off your computer and all of a sudden you're alone in your apartment is like, ooh. If you can, try to socialize as a little cap on that experience. Like if you can chat with people after

and get the dopamine of like connecting with people and being in community, that's really nice. I think not getting into a routine that requires any sort of substance is a gift that you can give to yourself. I like to, when I get home from a show, drink tea and watch something comforting. But I don't know how much good advice. I'm sorry, Erin likes to watch Mr. Tea and drink Southern comfort.

Yeah. Until I pass out. I like to drink pee. Whiskey mixers. Casey clip it. I can't. Ow. That hurt her physically.

No. Stand up is hard. Because stand-up, I feel like, is also in addition to, it's like a very lonely thing to do as well, right? It's like, like, Aaron mentioned, like, that thing about finding community, but I know a lot of times, like, people do stand-up shows and they leave, like, before to go do their next set somewhere else. You know, it's like, it's not as easy, I think, to, like, hang out when you're, when you're doing stand-up. So that could be rough. I'd say just get glued to your phone as soon as possible. Walk out of the theater head down.

Go get some food. Try and get to bed as soon as possible wake up until that never happened. Yeah, get to bed early. I also think that if you, like, you're getting this endorphin crash because you're getting off the stage. But when you get off the stage, just think of life as another stage for you and never turn off, whatever it is, like be on all the time. So in social situations, you're still cracking jokes.

You're still looking for material. Everything is a riff. Everything is on. never turn it off because when you turn, it's like a shark. When you stop swimming, you die. So the only reason that you're feeling bad is because you're quitting too early.

You want to keep this going 40, 50 years. Pay the Nate rate. Pay the Nate rate. Yeah, I think the biggest takeaway there is just make sure you're paying the Nate rate. What do we have to plug? Aaron, anything you got going on? Check out quality time if you live in Los Angeles.

It's been very, very fun recently. It's always fun, but I think we're in especially fun time. And check out Gumshoes and Dragons that we do with Anthony Birch, who is the best. I'm having a lot of fun on that. Our recent one shot that we did for our Patreon, I laughed so hard and then laughed for several hours after we recorded it because the three guys were so funny in it. So check that out if you want. Adel, anything to plug? Now is a great time to catch up on Hello from the Magic Town.

Also, we have a Patreon where we just started our new season of offices and bosses. You can check that out. And also, if you're looking for something to listen to on a summer walk, check out the Word Association. Where recently I yelled at Brett because he said that fruit is the fingers of trees. Okay. That's not that wrong. That's pretty close to being right. That's wrong.

That's pretty close to being right. Fruit is the acne or the goiters of trees. JPC, anything to plug a promoter or review to read? Yeah, I mean, obviously, always pay the Nate rate on our Patreon. $5 a month gets you access to an episode every week. And I do have a review to read. Let's see. This is a five-star review from Bon Bonn Angles.

Bon Bonn says, this is a merch request. I don't know how else to reach you. I had twins in December. Can you guys please sell onesies that say Little Monkey Bones, thanks? Also, deep cover should have starred you three. I forgot all of it. about that movie. I never saw that movie. That was the movie about the people that were improvisers with Orlando Bloom and it's like undercover improvisers. We could do that for

review crew. After Breadwinner. After the breadwinner. It's, um, we're not watching Breadwinner. I cannot do it. It's like Bryce Dallas Howard, Orlando Bloom and then what's his name from? Oh, the guy from Ted Lasso. Yeah. Yeah. The, uh, Jason Sadecas. Uh, it's not. It's not that guy from Ted Lasso. You know what I'm thinking, though? What's the thing from Game in Thrones? You have to pay the iron... Is it iron price?

I only watched the first season. The Nate rate. The Nate rate. I think they should change it. I think they should replace it. I think Theod of Great Joy should have to pay the Nate rate. Tell Searcy, it was Nate. All right.

Well, hot dogs, I think. And we'll see you guys later. Hey, Reddle, Redmond. Hey, Reddle, Ritchell. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our Stutt-State series. This week, we're going to Nevada. You can listen to that, plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. By joining the Clue for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month.

Plus you get those ad-free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gum podcast. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to F***. Coming to F***. That's what it is.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show now on Headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute too long. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take.

We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history, All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast.

What was it going to be called? The Jackass podcast. The Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-o. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius.

That shot of your book. But just cruising up. I'm like, yeah. I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad is going to happen to me.

Wee man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates it.

to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.