Hey Riddle Riddle - #42: Post Potatoes!

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

Slap happy as hell, we discuss the ins and outs of starch, pick on a substitute teacher, explore the origins of the name Keif on Ellis Island, rank the best candy to receive and you BETTER BELIEVE Adal & JPC debut their new lounge act! Get tickets for our May 12th live show in Los Angeles at www.headgum.com/live #WiddleWednesday Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Don't panic. It's not the theme song. We're really sorry, but we have to tell you something. But we have to tell you our lawyers say we legally we have to say this. We have a live show this Sunday, the 12th of May in L.A. It's this Sunday, so you are if you're listening like a good little boy or girl. The week or day this comes out your side chat go grab your daddy's wallet and steal So where do they where can they find tickets? They can go to head gum.com slash live go to the haybird over It'll click the link and it'll send you off to the LA improvs website. We can buy tickets. I can't

If you come bring yourselves bring a good fucking attitude because we don't want to fucking hang out with people who are sad You hear that mom also also you're gonna want to bring some pizzeris because at the end of the show We're going to take some audience Puzzies and riddies will call upon you you might hear yourself on an episode So bring those please also you can dress up as your favorite characters Where you're merch. You can wear your merch and we're gonna have new merch for sale. We have a brand new poster that's smoking hot for our LA show.

We have some pins that we're going to sell and some pins that Aaron's going to drink. So come to our live show, check it out. There's limited tickets remaining. We hope to sell it out, but we will see you there. Happy Mother's Day, we love our moms! Mom's! The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, the physical fish. It was the cat in an airplane.

He's having with the doctor. And the horse didn't ride it. And the horse didn't ride it. And the horse didn't ride it. And the horse didn't ride it. And the horse didn't ride it. And the horse didn't ride it. And the horse didn't ride it. No, my brain is basically just water and mashed potatoes. With no electricity going through them, it's just that.

I've been a little bit of water ruined, but that's what's going to be our opening. For this episode of Hey, Real Rittle, I'm Adore Fie. I'm JPC. And I'm Aaron Keepen. No, it was a personal statement, I said to Fred. We were doing some mic tests. Aaron said our brain is mostly water and mashed potatoes. And that is awesome.

Bye. Bye. But while we're kicking off and while we're talking about this, this is something that I'm glad that we brought up at the top. I'm glad Aaron brought up at the top of the episode because shining a light on brains being mashed potatoes is important issue that we did to talk about. But I have a, this is, I found it to be a very controversial thing. What is your favorite way to eat potatoes?

Like your favorite method? To eat a brain. You're too hot to eat a brain. And your two options are live or dead. It's too hot. Yeah, life, of course it's better. So you get to get their memories. No, yeah, favorite preparation way to eat a potato.

Scalloped. I was gonna say scalloped. Scalloped? Scalloped is a sleeper. Because I feel like people wouldn't say scalloped. My mom makes excellent scalloped. My mom made excellent scalloped tatos. Do we have the same mom?

One, two, three, my mom. My mom. My mom. Do you say my grandma? Yeah, I like her. Okay, scalloped tatos. My mom and your grandma making scalloped tatos. Well, I would argue that there's really no horrible way

to prepare them. I love mashed potatoes and I love french fries. Adel just handed me a box of french fries and he didn't even have to text me to know that I wanted them. He just brought them for me because he knew I had to them. For those who can't see, it is a bank box full of fries. It is about three and a half pounds and Aaron went through them very quick.

I blanked and they were gone. I think my favorite way to eat mashed potatoes is waffle fries. I think waffle fries are my favorite type of potato. Well, you do those in too. Just orange. Orange. Chick-flat does, but we're not allowed to go there anymore because they're canceled.

2019, sorry. But yeah, you see at the Chick-fil-A on my college campus win again. It was still bad to eat them. I still love those waffle fries. Well, how do we feel about sweet potatoes? In sweet potato fries. I'm generally into sweet potato fries, but I don't want a full order.

I want three sweet potato fries. I, because I feel like it's diminishing returns when I eat sweet potato fries. The more I eat them, the less I want to like, I feel like French fries, I could just eat and eat and eat forever, but sweet potato fries. That's what I feel about, candy corn versus real corn.

I feel like candy corn forever. I feel like candy corn forever. You feel like candy corn forever, real corn. One or two lines on the cob and I'm talking about it's a candy corn versus real corn I can't eat candy corn for ever Candy corn forever real corn one or two lines on the cob and I'm done All right, I get the subtext you guys are not invited to my dinner anymore You don't like my side dish of candy corn. I have a cream candy corn. Oh my god. I love it here Okay, two millionaires are too big for candy corn of the cob Took me hours to put that together. I'm not. It's just a glowing candy corn. I'm not a money doctor, but I have to assume candy corn is way more expensive than real corn.

So you're the millionaire, my friend. Really using real glue. It's a real glue. Real glue fake corn. OK, so the other question is, what is your least favorite way to eat potatoes? Like your least favorite preparation. The way it did a bite.

Oh, bite potatoes. Oh, this is kind of disagreeing. Yeah, I'll just say, all you did eat potato out of it. But so raw is Mr. Gigi's response. You feel good? I'm not like constantly ordering baked potatoes. Oh yeah. Potato skins.

A baked potato is, we've been a jacket potato. No. Oh boy. So they call them overseas. A baked potato takes so long to make. We, Ryan, I made baked potatoes the other night and it takes like an hour and 15 minutes just to make a potato.

You're not gonna talk about. Yeah, we just sat in silence. I feel like just like, like new potatoes. What's, that's not really a preparation that I can type of. What does that mean? Just like baby red. Oh, okay.

If you just get a plate of like quartered potatoes that are like baby red with seasoning. Okay. Here's some new potatoes and you're like, oh I love, but those sound like breakfast potatoes. Yeah, no. They're not like fried, it's just like seasoned and baked. Maybe baked, but. Oh, yeah.

I think that I do like those. I don't like, just like a quartered potato. I love baked potatoes. Bake potatoes, probably my second favorite preparation. Mash potatoes near the bottom You know that really I don't I hate gravy. Oh No So no, we thought we love we thought this was gonna work

What fucking gravy please? Really a lot about being a vegetarian is gravey's made with meat stock and so like and wheat and we yeah So fuck so I don't know why I think it's because I miss it I think it's because I I miss it so much I loved gravy and you can make vegetarian gravy and I do but it's gravy I go to brunch every Sunday at the same place and the things I get as gravy on it You know that really cold day we had this year or wherever I had to stay inside well today But also like in your area.

Pull it vortex, yeah. Yeah. I just bought like eight potatoes and then cut them up in small pieces and put a bunch of olive oil on them and then just ate that for three days. Yes, this has been pod tatos, your podcast for all things potato.

We hope you enjoy the show. Give us an email at pod tatos.potatoos at we're so sorry.com. Is this a regular, we get to do riddles. Okay, this is a regular. I've got what was happening. Old lady potatoes is Aaron Keefe. My least favorite is old fries.

Oh, lady potatoes. Put potatoes and risottoes. That's what we said in puzzles and riddles. Today we should do potatoes and risottoes. I love it. During that time, so my boyfriend came over for the polar vortex and I said that I was like, we should watch that show post potatoes.

And then we laughed and we talked about how post potatoes sounds like how Irish people say died. I'm so sorry to hear that he's post potatoes. How's Carl, he's post potatoes. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but he's post potatoes. The part where I went post potatoes, I don't remember. I just like probably not great Irish people,

but I think about it all the time. I hate to be the one to break this tea, you're married, but he's post potatoes. I know, you're Irish, right? Yeah, I'm Irish too, so I feel like we're. So we don't make these jokes. Okay. Good to see you.

Right nightfall, he'll be post potatoes. Sorry, I can't stop thinking about it. All right, I'm old man. Old lady potatoes. How's your new boyfriend, potatoes? Potato'm old man old old lady New boyfriend potatoes As your old boyfriend How are the kids? Oh, they're all potatoes and in bad or things that pre potatoes Oh, he's

Potatoes Can you protect her that's nothing? That's dark okay,'s something. Start. Okay. Well, let's do this. What can be empty and full at the same time? Are these warm up riddies or are main potatoes? Well, it depends on how good they are. How good you are at them.

Is this our main potato, a baked potato, or side potatoes, potatoes or crott? Is this episode going to be called potato? This episode should just be named potato and that's it. Potato potato. Did we just invent a restaurant called Bubba Potato? You say potato. I also say potato. We all eat potatoes, then we go to bed. Potato potato potato potato. I must say this at least once in episode But I feel truly insane right and we're your puppets Your potato puppets I feel like truly potatoes and pajamas are coming down this day like seven minutes ago reality broke It's lit too, and I now I'm on a different path I'm out of pace with pen potato and gene

Girl proper potato I think what our issue is is we frequently forget as we're sitting here that we're on a podcast and we're going to be recording. Oh, shit. Yeah, shit. And there are these men with guns holding their heads saying, make the comedy, make the joke. But real quick, real quick, rolling on top of my dining room table. Right? Make the comedy, make the joke. Make the comedy, make the joke.

What menu item does B-A-N space A-N-A represent? Banana. B-A-N, what menu item? Wait, B-E-E, A and A? No. B-A-N space A-N-A. B-A-N, a banana split. Yeah.

No weeks. Somebody. Somebody! Shackney! Oh, do you guys think that a banana split would be good if instead of bananas, it was long, fingering potatoes? Is everything else savory? So is ice cream, fudge? What's the other one? Caramel? Salon tro. Salon tro. Well, then you just, you would need a savory. Oyster, saloncha.

Oyster. Oyster crackers. Santana. You have to do a substitute for each sweet thing. Oh, substitute. Let's pick on her. It's fingerly potatoes instead of ice cream and sherbert. I want to say something.

I want to see her real quick where Aaron's a substitute teacher, JPC and I are some rowdy, rowdy boys. Okay. And we're letting her know how things usually happen. Okay, Diane, you can do this. You're talking into a megaphone. You're talking to a megaphone? Yeah, talking into a megaphone.

Okay, sorry. What's your name? Diane, she yelled at it. But you need to call me Mrs. Anderson. Mrs. Anderson? Mrs. Anderson. I'm sorry, Mrs. Anderson. I was going to say I don't see a wedding ring.

But there's a tan line where there was a ring. Details. Usually our teacher starts off by talking about her divorce. If you're divorced, you have to say it or else it's in trap mitt. Technically not a divorce. I just got one of those rings from a vending machine stuck on my hand for many years. Okay. And now I have a tan line for the rest of my life.

Did you just live somewhere warm with a lot of sun? Because it looks like you maybe haven't seen this sun. That's education. Whoa, this is history class. Hey, shut up, shut up, go with it. This is awesome. Oh, okay. We're nine.

Who knows what's going on? What happens in sex is that the ping pong goes in the goob look up You put your ping pong in the dime store you pay the bill and you pull it out. Well, he gets it. Do you get it? No, I I was told that it was like a penis in a vagina. Oh, that sounded insane What what are the words he said? Diane you can do this you've got to stow at them and intimidate you All that sounded insane. What? What are the words he said? Diane, you can do this. You've got to stow at the intimidate you.

Can you please tell us what the truth is? History started in 1840. Oh, same. Same. Win. Win. I really wanted to know what that would be, and I'd never will. No. I'd never wanted to know what that would be and I never will. I'd never get to know. It's pre-cevow war.

John Adams was long dead. So I don't know what I'm talking about. No, I'm sorry, he was what? Long dead. He was what? Long dead. He was post. He was post-posed for dangerous.

I already forgot what we were talking about. I like your default, it's to be like foot like he's dead My wife if it's Adelaide's like say it say it can be pretty sure That point in history children John Adams will was post potatoes Okay, what can be thrown but never caught? Good luck your voice Say that do it then. Mm-hmm.

No, it's not that. What can we throw, never caught? I know what it is. A football with your dad. Yeah, I was just gonna say baseball with my dad. Yay! Cause he left. Throne, but never caught.

We're so similar, Nate. You said football and I said baseball. Mm, gopats. So close, but worlds apart. Do you think go past? Do it, do it, do it. Show me a thing, tell me how. Well, that gets in the grade on the museum,

that's boom. What's potatoes, dad? It's dead in his room. But yeah, is the answer a potato? No. Are you sure? What can be thrown, but not caught? Here's a hint. It's something I did at this island when I was four

God no something I did oh Thona you can throw a fit a tantrum a tantrum you can throw a freaking tantrum Throw a fit you can throw a lot of stuff that you can't catch would a party can't catch a can't catch a party is a tantrum you can throw shade Oh, yeah, but you't catch a party. It's a tantrum. You can throw shade. Oh yeah. But you can catch a shade, a window shade. But you can throw one type of shade and catch another type of shade. Were you bad kids? Did you throw tantrums?

No, I was super, super quiet as a kid because my sister was a wild child. So I made up for her by being a very, very quiet. I want to say that this is something that my mom did for us, and I may be getting this wrong, but I definitely would do this if I had a kid, which was in a store wanting a toy and not getting it and like laying down on the ground and throwing a tantrum, and then my mom just got down on the ground and also started throwing a tantrum, which embarrassed me the one throwing a tantrum to stop throwing a tantrum.

Holy shit, that is really incredible. And you told us just before this episode, your mom was in Mensa. She qualified for Mensa. And that proves the point. Mom's a very smart lady. What a holy shit. But yeah, I was like, if that is brilliant,

that's what's the parenting point. That's one thing that is stuck with me. Because I have no shame and I can't get embarrassed holy shit. But yeah, I was like, if that is brilliant, that's what's happening. That's one thing that is stuck with me, because I have no shame, and I can't get embarrassed by shit. So if someone- Which is why you're currently just wearing a breadball. He's like, hey, this is an expensive breadball last home. He told us to call you Panera.

This is one of the most expensive breadballs they make. This is the Gucci of breadballs. But yeah, I would absolutely do that. If a kid was throwing a tantrum, just sit down and throw a tantrum too. That sounds fun. I never threw tantrums, but I definitely got everything I wanted.

Like I was definitely spoiled, but in a way that my parents were just very generous. And I think rewarded me for being good. For bad behavior. Oh, what did you use it? What did I say? I was also spoiled too, but also we didn't have a lot of money, but I was spoiled. And then I ran into the kids later in life that were

also spoiled, but had money. And I was like, Oh, that's like this whole different kind of spoiled. Oh, sure. But I was still very like spoiled. For sure, like we had everything that we like wanted basically. You had a horse for Christmas. I had a horse for Christmas, and I had my uncle kill it. With his hands. And power. That's power. Have your uncle kill your horse. That's power. Don't talk to me about power. Commissioner Gordon. Now I have to do is look at people who kill the horse. They're nephew and then I find out who Batman is. First of all, that horse was pre potatoes when I met him. Pre-petatus. What I love that horse, I don't know. He just put it out. The horse he was potatoes.

He was coming. Yeah. So, though. It won't surprise you to know that I threw tantrums quite a lot. Did it work? Did it work out in your favor? No. I was just sort of a nightmare.

Made my mom tired, her feelings. Do you remember... Big train on everyone's energy? Do you remember what you threw tantrum about at Ellis Island? Was it Ellis Island or feelings. Do you remember? Big train on everyone's energy. Do you remember what you threw a tantrum about at Ellis Island? Was it Ellis Island or, would you say? I think it's Ellis Island. If I'm remembering correctly. Did you throw a tantrum because they were trying

to change your name? Yeah, they're trying. All right, I got to see a silly name. It told me I was Irish and I was like, no! I got to see a scene, GPC Uray, Ellis Island Tour Guide in, I don't know Tour Guide in I don't know 2008 I don't know when you were four and Thank you Wow, you think of a child. Thank you splits Aaron you are a four-year-old Aaron Kefe

And I will play one of your parents. We'll see which one and you're gonna throw a tangent at some point Ellis Island actually has a very robust history and it goes back onto one way you put it. Robust. Yes. Thank you. The whole is a shit show. Okay.

I'm sorry. There are children here in the toy. Yeah. My kid. Yeah. Aaron speak up. Okay. So the history is doing a mod Simpson. Okay, so the history-

She's doing a mod Simpson. Sharon, do you mod Simpson? I have a mod Simpson. That's a, actually, that's a very good mod Simpson. Do you have snacks? No, so there were no snacks at the original Ellis Island. People would wait in long lines. You gotta feel a bowtie though.

Okay, thank you so much. I actually learned how to tie this in the authentic manner. I don't have any cheeses, no. Do you have fruit by the foot? Okay, so I don't have any snacks. What about Dunkin' Ruins? I don't have snacks, but I'll tell you who was a snack. George Washington, when he declared that Ellis Island would be open to the Hessians who came over as mercenaries from Germany in the year 17. I'm sorry. Fritos?

I don't have. I don't have any chips. It's a cracker. Chilly? On the way out after the tour. Raise a clam. Can I ask you some things? Raise a clam.

Here's an extra $2. I want to know what Keef used to be. What was the full name? Oh, okay. So my name is Mama Keef. This is my daughter, Aaron. so we can go to the big Book of names and so Keith and you know Refle wear your ancestry were from Aaron tell him Ireland Ireland. Okay, Ireland Keith Keith Keith. Ah

So the corner Keith is me original the original was Thief which was short for horse thief original was thief which was short for horse thief okay so it looks like that was was post potatoes when we found it looks like the keiths that came over the thiefs the horse thiefs that came over for the first time had their hands cut off first healing horses so they couldn't sign their own names so the ellis island people gave them the name Keith

oh grandma and grandpa said it was bit off via Dracula. Same. My name is an accident. My last detail happened after Ellis Island, but during the census, they spelled the name wrong. What was your do you know the original name? K E E F E. So it's so Keith. It's still Keith, but it's a different spelling. And then we were all Keith in Ireland. Oh, Keith. Oh, Keith.

And that's what is a thing that is real. Yeah, that's why we did this thing. Yeah, great. What always tastes better than it smells? Poop. Potatoes. Potatoes. What always tastes better than it smells?

You're a mouth. Aaron's mouth. Ah, no, I don't taste good. Uh, oh, honey. See tastes like Skittles. Yeah, you taste like Skittles sweet candy. I do now. I hate riddled, riddled, fan brought Skittles two world news last night and I had like a

mountain and was so excited and was like, I'll have a couple. Let's set right now because with with hello from the magic tavern, my character cut the badger. Mm-hmm. At some point became fascinated with Snickers, so every time I would meet fans or like we'd have a live show, I would get dozens of Snickers, and I eventually grew to hate them, but I still like them.

Yeah, but let's set for each of us. Put the caveat in there because they could be a sponsor for the show one day. High-Lost Snickers, that's satisfied hunger. Let's set for each of us. Joe Pesci, if you wanna bring us some candy, what do you bring? So, Aaron, what is your creative choice that appreciators of the show?

I won't illusion myself that we have fans, but appreciators of the show, what should they bring you? Okay, you have a choice. They have a choice. Okay, let's give, we'll give choices. So you're also effectively picking the candy that you want ruined for you forever. Yeah, okay I like peppermint patties. I like orange starbursts

I've never in my life seen a single person eat a peppermint patty. They're in my freezer and Massachusetts You will never see four people. I've met four people go down on one my reflection my shadow My penis and me. That's sort of my mom's thing is cold peppermint patties Like a treat. Oh you put them in the freezer? Yeah, treat the min. So the commercial's real or like they breathe out mountain breath air. This is what they do. Yeah, cold, cold candy is good. Like in the quiet place.

Cold candy is good. Cold girl's got cookies, cold thin mint and like cold, sweet pizza, pizza but Charleston cheese in the freezer. So you said orange starburst. And that's just orange starburst? Yes, orange. So a fan, a appreciator of the show would have to buy multiple packages of starbursts.

Or just bring me one single orange starburst, and I'll be happy. I don't need a whole, you don't need to bring me a bunch of candy. So one peppermint patty or one orange starburst? Or a full bag of scuttles. Or a full bag of scuttles. Okay, so those are your three.

Wow. Jay, what are yours? You said earlier, you said like one of those cans of peanuts when you open it up and it snakes. Yes. But I want the can. This is so crazy. I want the can to say snakes.

And we open it up and stuff. It's candy. If you give me a can of snakes, it doesn't matter how many snakes are in there as long as there are snakes in there, I'm happy. Oh, can you to receive? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. If I have my druthers,

is that like, worthers, but, but Sam's club? Druthers are anichino. Hey, grandpa. They have no taste, but they make a noise when you open them. Yeah, let's, I wanna see a quick commercial. JPC, you're a old grandpa. Okay, that's redundant your grandpa The grandpa's gonna be young, but this one's old like you're gonna be an old man who's doing a commercial

For druthers, which is obviously the ripoff brand of Worthers All right, kids you want a worthers go bother your grandma Well, you can't because she's in Mexico with teeth If you want to stay here at Grandpa's house, you'll have a druthers and you'll like it. Mmm, druthers, pop that into your mouth and taste the subtle flavors of goat's milk,

hay fever, pine cones, and salt taffy. That's the original druthers flavor. What do you kids think? I just had a druthers and now my tongue is white is teeth her boyfriend You aren't a hear folks if these in great shit bird kids don't like druthers Then I'll be a mother fucker Zane I can't believe JP riddles became a Dreaders, can you guys leave my two characters?

I can't believe JP Riddles became his daughter for druthers. Can you guys leave my two characters? Alan Alda? And everyone else? Thank you. There's two characters, Alan Alda and everyone else. I would like you to bring me a payday, and by that I mean bring me a check. I'm just written out for $1.25, so I can buy my own candy.

Well, you can get candy for $1.25. That's not so much. This can't count, because it's so specific, but it's oh man now Samoza girls got cookies. What are those called? Samoas Samoas Yeah, or wait wait no not Samo says Samo no Samo is a is a is a Pacific calendar. No, that's a sumo. That's a Samoan Samoan. Are they called Samoas? Oh? Maybe cut this part out. No, no, I want this in That's a sumo in. Sumo in. Are they called sumoas? Oh, fuck me. I thought we should maybe cut this part out.

No, no, no, I want this in. This is my part and I want this in. But it's the ones with chocolate and coconut. I think those are sumoas. Sumoas, right? Those are great in the freezer. But that's not really a candy. Those are the best cookies.

Yeah, the best girl's cookies. The best girl's cookies. So I will say that I kickcat. I think kickcat is. Really? Yeah, I call. I'm a chocolate guy. And mine is whatcha'm call it. Is it really?

To me whatcha'm call is the absolute best kidding bar. Ever made it. Look at that I had that, wasn't it? I used to love paydays and now I'm all about whatcha'm call it. Whatcha'm call it? Caramel. Is like, it's like puffed rice, rice. It's not rice, it's rice.

Rice. They can't consume chocolate. There's, I think, maybe a little bit of Nougat. It's just, it's delicious. So I, I, I, oh, also caramel qualas. They can't consume chocolate. There's I think maybe a little bit of new get. It's just it's delicious So I also care milk Wallace. Oh, yeah, cuz Australia If like a couple weeks ago on TPK, which is my stream that I do on Thursday nights. It's your fight club right fight club It's a total knockout total T. Fisher pants and it's time to lock him to eat his your pants

But I was making Eddie and James do this bit where I kept making them eat candy bars to do a challenge. And I was like trying to get specific ones to like fit a theme. But I got watching my call. It's an I haven't had a watch my call in forever. And Eddie, checking out and he couldn't eat his watch my call. So I took a bite of it and I kid you not. I hated it.

Really? Yeah. And I remember a hundred thousand grand, hundred grand? Those are also delicious. One of the other ones that we had was hundred grand. And they're kind of the same thing. They have like Nougat and Caramel and Chocolate. And I had both of them.

I had a bite of both of them. They did them both. I did not like either one of them. That was so good. Which is crazy that those are your favorite. I like KitKat, but I like the Japanese kind. So there's like in Japan, they have like red bean flavor, green tea flavor.

Like the Japanese, we've had some- You can get them online too, I think. Or maybe you can see the Amazon. You can get them, but they're like $36 for a tan or something. But the Japanese flavors are fucking crushing what we have here in the States. Like, we have, like, big chocolate to me is boring unless there's like a watchman call it going on. I just don't believe in the year, you know, 2019, the year of our Lord with globalization,

we just can't get these Japanese flavors. And I don't think we deserve them. We don't, we don't, we don't deserve them. Here's what we'll say. Send us as many different KitKat flavors as possible. We will review each one. This has been Candy Corner. I can't eat them.

Please do not say any candy. Please send an email. Please never give me candy. Give me candy. We're so sorry to come. I would die if I had candy, please no. Are we ready for another riddle? Oh yeah, this is a riddle podcast. Please send an email. Please never give me a corner. At WorsahSorry.com. I would die if I had candy, please no. Are we ready for another riddle? Oh yeah, this is a riddle podcast.

Oh yes, this is it. A man is trapped in a room with only two exits. The first door leads to a tunnel made from magnifying glass. The blazing hot sun instantly fries anything or anyone that enters. Oh, that's fucked. Through the second door, there's a fire breathing dragon. How does the man escape? Escape, escape, escape.

So one exit has glass made out of magnifying glass that fries anything that, oh, this is easy. Anyone in enters. That'll notice it. I think this is easy. Maybe I'm crazy and you're my puppets. You wait till the sun goes down. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow, but how do you know? Oh Shit. Oh the light goes away. Oh Yeah, right I don't know what hold on I have the answer do let the sun go down on me. You wait till the sun goes down on the dragon. Oh It's not the dragon's son. It's not the dragon's sign. It's just someone's sign. He's so distracted. His eyes are rolling back into his head.

He's sneak right out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, my little scales. What a good voice. I think I'm in a puddle. I'm a Lee. We just ruined somebody's childhood.

Oh, oh. Pink's dragon has a whole different spot line. We never saw. We're a pop the magic dragon. That's why I said I think I'm gonna pop. That's why I said I'm a Lee. Free puff. I want to see a scene. Oh, oh, yes. I want to see a scene.

Oh, yes. I want to see a scene. In JPC, you are this maniacal saw- Give them a character. Saw like serial killer. He like cooks up all these very expensive intricate ways to mess with someone. You're sort of the guy you're the guy he's kidnapped and you're presenting this to me.

I'm the Carrie L.A.'s. Yeah, and you're up, you're your poke, you're poking holes in his plan. Please, please let me go, please. I'll do anything. Of course you're free to go at any time. Why do you talk like that? It's a voice modulator.

No, it's clearly you playing around with accents. Okay, well, voice, the voice modulator is on back order. You have a way to get out. Okay, tell me. Do you see that Fort can knife upon the ground? Yeah. To get out, you must enter through the door. But the door requires a key, and the key is the bones of your toe.

Can I just stop your room with this? You said I must enter through the door. That means if I open the door and I go through it, I'd be entering into another room. But yes, if that were the actual exit, you'd say I would leave through a door, exit through a door, you said enter. Okay, so there are multiple rooms, but you will have to find some places to go. I'm supposed to know that. Hold on, now you have to eat your toe. That's what I'm getting at here.

To eat my toe. To get the bone to open the door. Now there are two different kinds of relish and the fridge and There's pickle. Hey earlier you said your name was Reggie. You were real open about that. Did I say that? Yeah, and you never said that out loud. You never took my cell phones to the cop front their way. They know who you are. Oh, I have a little surprise for the police. Oh? Because I have shotguns positioned at every door and when the police comes...

Who's manning the shotguns? Do you have somebody holding them or they just propped up against the wall? Uh, so... Damn dude. Well... You fucked yourself. No, no. Yeah, Reggie you fucked yourself first of all I never said my name was Reggie, okay Did I?

You did okay? You said it multiple times you said Reggie's plan and Reggie's game and I just want to do it I'm gonna come in there and I said Reggie's plan. That's really what I just want. I was gonna call this whole thing Reggie's plan. That's really what, I just want to call this whole thing. Reggie's plan. Can I just go? I'm not even tied down or anything. What? Can I just go? Oh my god.

Did you have an assistant who like died or something? I was, I was the assistant. You need to outsource something. No, I need the whole time at the end. You were supposed to trust the assistant and then you were going to realize that it was me. Did I not come in there? The door started the door now started turning then it stopped. Oh, that's right I got that phone call where I was having to give all of my personal information to renew my cable

I got your so I got your so Honey how's work today? I Would say that they were good parts and bad parts today. Did you kill him? You'll go mopey. Yeah, I did kill him. I went in the room and shot him with one of my door shot guns. But he didn't die the way that I wanted to die.

He didn't learn any lessons and he never felt fear. So it kind of wasn't perfect for me. There's no fanfare there. Yeah. Man, you have three more minutes and then you have to leave the prison. Oh, ah. Oh, I'd really love to have sex. I guess that's not at the cards.

No, no, that's not really in Reggie's plan. You OK? Yeah. You said you're goddamn name. All right, well, uh. Reggie Miller, you all said? Hoping up, baby. See.

Indiana Bayser. I was like, you can either be Reggie Wayne or Reggie Miller. Reggie Miller, Reggie I know, and both of them are from Indiana. Not from Indiana, but with Regina. Yeah, and they're both. Remember Reggie Miller's classic phrase whenever you sink a deep three, you just say, hoops up. No, was that really what he said?

I guess. Oh, man. He is another vigil. I am a seed with three letters in my name. Take away the last. Peanyee. Come. Peanyee.

Come and see. Come and see. You got it. It was Pean. One night, a king, a queen, walk. Sorry. One night, a king, and a queen walked into an empty castle. The next day, the king, the queen, and someone else walked out.

What happened? Pia, baby. It's a boy. She had a baby, it's a king. One night, a king, and a queen walked into an empty castle. The next day, the king and the queen, and someone else walked out. What happened? It's that the castle was empty.

Was this such a situation where someone was frozen in some sort of carbonite or crystal and the king is a Mertelent of sorts and they had to or a drop of the hut or a slice of crumb Oh, I was just at the Star Wars. I was at the Star Wars celebration and boy my arm started and boy are my arm started and I visited My friend Hilary works, Hillary and Demon worked for Funko. And so they brought me over to the booth to say hi and to grab some stuff.

And I was like, and they said that the guy placed the latest crime was just at the booth. The guy voices it. And I was so pissed I missed him, because that's my favorite character. And my whole plot, ploy for the whole convention, was to have Slatius Crumb. Your Reggie's plan? Leave my Reggie convention, was to have Celacius Crum. Your Reggie's plan?

My Reggie's plan was to have him leave a voicemail that was, hey, this is, I don't leave a message after that. Hehehehehehe. Why don't you just do that? You do a pretty good Celacius Crum. No, it's bad. Do you know what this person looks like, though? Yeah.

Okay, cool. I was gonna say, because if you just know them by their voice for Celacius Crum, they probably aren't always doing that voice. And if that is just their last. No, he only lasts. I guess he did it like 20 times at the booth.

Here's what he looks like. And JPC, I want you to try and describe him. Okay. So this looks like an old white man. Here you go. Sorry, that's a picture of me on my screen, saber. And a king and a queen into a castle, they leave, what was it? Yeah, they leave it with a third bird.

One night, a king and a queen walked into an empty castle. Got it. The next day, the king, the king and someone else walked out. What happened? Wait, before you say JPC, have you self-drawn? I have not solved it. I keep trying to make jokes and I think that something else is a poop. And so there were no toilets in the castle.

And so they didn't want to leave just a poop in the castle, so they picked it up, put it in a bag and carried it out with them. Is that, and is that right? Yeah, you guys. So, is that what you do with poop? If I'm in a castle, no toilets. So the answer that I will say,

my real final answer is the next day they left. So they left with the king, the queen, and the sun. So the sun's way better for this. The sun just went down on it. The sun rose in the sky and they left with the sun. That is way, way, way better. What's the answer, Adel?

I believe. Okay. That is to be huge. We'll. What's the answer, Adel? I believe. Okay. I think it goes well. It's gonna be huge. Just like mine. That's Aaron and I's two man. That's Aaron and I's two person comedy shows. Swing in a mess. Swing in a mess.

You're swinging around on the bed and I'm a lady. I say put your cockies in this bowl. You're so muddy. He is Miss Aaron. which are you put your cockies in this bowl. You're so money, you don't even know. He is Miss Aaron. And the beginning of the riddle was one night, a king and a queen entered a castle.

We're to believe that night is spelled N-I-G-H-T. I believe it's spelled K at I-G-H-T. So it's one night a king and a queen, enter a castle and then the three of them in the night leaves. Yeah. And we're shaking her head, no, but clapping. And I am so confused. You figured it out. You're getting the wrong class. Well done. Well done, son.

That was Aaron making her ask clap. Um, I want to be the king and JPC you're the queen. Yes. And Adel you are a knight and you're like not taking the hint that like we're just like trying to enjoy some like time alone. Um, and you're the third wheel and that like we kind of don't really need you right now. Hail and well met into the castle. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much and everything is secured. Yes.

You're doing excellent job securing the castle. What do you prefer to be called? Mrs. King Queen. Let's not worry about it. You're highness. You're highness. Your grace works. Yes, your grace works. I'll say your grace. That works as well

Well, we're about all wrapped up here We're gonna be young. Let's all take a nap. What's that? What's that? What's that? We're gonna be about to be old nap. Uh, you must be tired wanting to see your family. Yes I want to see my family, but of course they understand that I'm here to impress you with my demo tape So let me just put this in. Do you have a cassette player? Oh, I think it's broken. Yeah, and if it's not, it will be soon. So it goes. Can I show you some sort stuff? Actually, yeah. Okay, very cool. Hey, Mark, you know what? Hey, Mark, hey, Mark, go ahead and put that away. Hey, Mark, we're all very hungry. And you just tore up our...

Crapes! They're all cut to ribbons. Oh, sorry. No worries, put the soda away. We're all hungry, how about you go take that sort of over to the kitchen and whip us up something to eat, huh? And then you know what? Grab something for yourself.

We'll go down to the kitchen and pick up whatever you may. And then you can make your way home before it gets too dark. And it's getting darker now. That sounds wonderful. That's delightful. Thank you so much. What's gracious, host you are, I'm sorry, I'm a little upset, my child is post potatoes. Oh, so it goes. So it goes.

That's what they say. That's what they say. Post potatoes is. Sing me a song. Wait, what? Sing me a song, Queen. Call, post potatoes. You're the queen. Yeah, that is the beginning. Okay. Yes, that's right Oh singing a song the mark is okay. What was your boy's name? Um, it's my daughter. I'm sorry. What was your daughter's name?

Penelope. Penelope, that's like a song. Penny? What, Penny? What about Penny? Okay, whatever you want, you're graced. Penny Lane is very dead. She's post-pot-tains. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b Booter, Booter. Wish I could get him to play my horn. What? See it. See it. Uncle's go down on your wives.

I have a horn dragon. Can you blow me? Ha, ha, ha. That was a fun scene. Yes. What's your favorite scene we've ever done on the show? That one. That one.

That one's my favorite as well. Speaking of favorite scenes, my favorite scene is when we take a quick break to hear from our advertiser for this show. And today's advertiser is Quick Break. The new serial candy. Oh boy, I fucked that up. Give me a break. Game of Quick Break. It's like a kickcat, but it crumbles real fast. We'll be right back. Hey GPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm um, pranking Atal and I'm setting up a website

to prank him. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy

to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, I don't come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have any Thing that like is there like an online store like could set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with Squarespace? You can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for.

Prank. Squarespace. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron.

Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath.

I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating

them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d l-e.

R-i-d-d l-e the middle of riddles a d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the literature of the two d. I'm home. Bye, baby. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him.

But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much,

especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling.

Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, oh, clink, clink, clink, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, clink, clink, clink. No, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. Plank, plank, plank. You who?

Oh, I love you who. It's the milk. Potato crew back together again. Technically, you can't call it milk. It's a chocolate drink. We'd love to call it milk, but we can't get sued. As we looked it up over the break, and a quick break is not a candy bar.

I mean, we were duped, so many paid us $5 to let us advertise a candy bar, and we have been docks. Yeah, docks, we got docks. Somehow, we got paid $5 all we had to give them was our address, so we got docks, pretty hard. I have any little fucker, can you docks me? I've never had you, who?

It's not great. You've never had you, who? It's not great. You've never had you, who? When my grandma used to pick us up from school, she would bring a you, who in cookies and a cooler. Really? That's a fun grandma. Yeah, it was great. It's a father's grandma.

I got to eat with Cape Cappatito chips for 18 years. I like that he was salted cod. Aaron, drink your old bay. I used to like nest quick. We used to have nest quick in my household. Oh, I don't think we had. We had horned streffarms chocolate milk for couple years. Horned streffarms.

Horned streffarms, post-petit. Nest quick and horned streffar, like that's chocolate milk, but legit, you who is not milk. It's all like chocolate drink. It's a chocolate drink. What is it, so? Same like oval tea, yeah. Yeah, it's because you who's not a cupoude of it,

you like mix in with something, it's just like, it is just chocolate drink. I don't know. It's definitely same like oval team. Yeah, it's because you who's not like a powder that you like mix in with something. It's just like it's a it is just chocolate drink. I don't know. It's definitely not milk. I heard as a child. I don't know if this is true. I heard that chocolate milk is made from the milk that has blood in it. So like sometimes when they milk cows, they'll be like bloodswirled into it from whatever

for whatever reason. And so they just add chocolate to it and then they're like still good. I don't know. Think about what you're doing and what you're saying yes Yes, how many people listen to this? You have an audience only drink chocolate drink You have an audience at all and you have an obligation to that audience and you ruined chocolate milk for Thousands of people here's roll though. I'll do my part remember those ads that were like somebody

Looking in the mirror and there's like a buff big version of them So it's and they had like a milk mustache. Yeah, like I want to be you when I grow I'll do the same thing, but I'll just have it's gonna be me shirtless with a real bad body and like a like a Smear of blood above my lip Help help got help we help send it We have an obligation to our listeners. We have an obligation to inform them that if you get into your car late at night, there is a killer in your car.

Most of the time. Most of the time. We're not trying to scare you. We're just playing the percentages. Yes. 85% if you're driving in a car, there's something in the back seat. This is money ball. This is classic money ball from what I understand from that movie.

Don't shoot the mess, sir, but But something bad's gonna happen to you today. The master's gonna shoot you. Oh. I love scaring people. I also, in my childhood home, we also had almonds syrup, because my dad is Palestinian. So we also had alongside,

we'd have typical, a butt cake, and then there'd be like bockleva and all these weird lady fingers and stuff. So I had a real weird, I walked the line of like, normal crap, and then like super, like, magluba, and all this other stuff. I do love Bocleva. Bocleva is very good.

That was the cousin on Perks' Rangers. Yeah. Name an age letter word that has KST in the middle in the beginning and at the end. Son kissed. KST at the shit in the middle at the beginning and in the end. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Yep. That's what I say to my boyfriend before he falls asleep.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. I go. So it's got KST. It's eight letters. It's got KST at the what? At the what? Name an eight letter word that has KST in the middle in the beginning and at the end. KST. KST in the middle.

In the middle at the beginning. And at the end. Oh wait. That's just reminded me. Was it yesterday that I was doing a bit where I was drinking a water bottle like a hamster? And I said, did JVC do I look like a hamster without looking up from what I was doing a bit where I was drinking a water bottle like a hamster? And I said, JVC, do I look like a hamster without looking up from what he was doing? He said, yeah. So sorry, so KST was the letters?

KST. Okay, read that one more time. Yes. I think I solved it. Naminate letter word that has KST in the middle in the beginning and at the end. And you think you've solved this? KST. Incstand. So the letters KST are in the beginning and at the end. And you think you've solved this? Incestant.

So the letters KST are in the middle, in the beginning I end and at the end, so it's Andy. So it's pretty good, right? It's asking us to be literal. Incestant. And that's one word, Incestant? Incestant's when you came up for the kickstand, so you put a pin to hold up your bike.

Yeah, all the kids call you poor kids. Yeah, I understand. Yeah. That one's fun, right? Yeah, I like that. That's very fun. That's a good riddle. Here's what I'll say.

I said it before I'll say it again. I'll say it a million times. I love riddles that I solve. Honestly. Honestly, I solve, I fucking love. I love the ones that you get right, more than the ones that I get right. Because I love seeing you happy. And I wish you could see it a little more often, huh?

Okay, I'm happy to smile. I'm happy to smile for my guy. I'm happy to smile for my guy. could see it a little more often huh okay I'm happy to smile I'm happy to smile for my guy don't give up I got a lot of sand I got a lot going on a lot of sand stuff a lot of sad I heard said the fire working on a lot of sad deals I got a lot of sad I on the fire. Sorry pal, I can't make golf. I got a lot of sad eye on the fire. I'm talking to a guy who's got my kid, I got to get my kid back. I'm losing money on a boat. Hey can I ask you, you were at this dick sporting good?

I bought a golf club from you and it's a sad eye. I also lost my kid on that boat. Talking to a boat about getting my kid back. I got a lot of sad shit going on. I got a lot of sad shit goin' on. What do you got for me? What do you got for me? Make me cry. Okay, I was gonna read one that is so easy, but I thought that maybe it was a good one.

Give us a win. Give us a win, saw. In 2000, a 40-year-old doctor told his son that when a little, when he was a little boy, he decided- Is the answer, Adel, in 2000, 40-year-old doctor is going to be in up being me and I'm sure you're not smart enough to be a doctor. God, I love that Steve Crombo be the 40-year-old doctor. In 2000, a 40-year-old doctor told his son when he was a little boy, he decided to be

a doctor by seeing a website about performing a heart transplant on a puppy with a defective heart so that the puppy would live a normal life. I then thought that I would be a doctor so I could help people in a similar way. What is the defect in that story? The defect is a 40-year-old man in 2000 said he was on the internet as a little boy. Fuck that shit. Unless he's Al Gore. No, it's the puppy's heart.

That was the problem. Yeah, that's the defect. The puppy's heart. The puppy's heart was serious? 30 times? No, you were right, but I'm so tired of you getting things right. is the puppy's heart that was the problem. Yeah, that's the defect. The puppy's heart. The puppy's heart was serious. 30 times is that dead. You were right, but I'm so tired of you getting things right. I need these.

Oh, I need these. Oh, my iron and the fire are sad. Speaking of iron, Stugger Woods, huh? One of the masters. This diamond thing. I was recording that to delete. So I want to focus on one listener and the email that she has sent us. Let's really drill down to this listener.

Where is she from? Let's dox. I'm going to share her first name because I don't know. Well, guess her last name. If we get it right, we say it. Excellent. Her name is Liz. Liz.

Lemon. Yep, you got it. Her name is Liz and she Listened to a here a few riddles I originally heard well trapped in a 13 hour car trip Choose trap trapped in a 13 hour car. We've said it before if you're in a car. There's an 85% chance You're being could have sorry Liz, but I need to see a scene At all we are gonna see a scene where you and Aaron are driving on the road. She has trapped you in a 13 hour car trip.

You are our one of this 13 hour car trip. You've been trapped. Oh, ho, ho. I've been trapped? Yes, Adel's been trapped. I don't know what this is, but we're going with it. All I'm saying is, what if the song, Oh, What A Night, was about a K and IGHT, and it's like touting the escapades and victories

of a specific night, Oh, What A Night. How hard do you think I would get if I rolled out of the car? How hard would you get? How hard would you get? I don't know. I don't know. I think how, I was asking how turned on. I would get if I rolled out of it.

How hard would you get if you jumped out this door? I can't tell you Okay, Adam just a new rule For the rest of the trip. No, nothing that has to do with the musical jersey But I love them. I love Frankie Valley. I know we're going through Jersey right now That's it. You know what I'm gonna call I'm gonna I think there's a That's the number. You know what, I'm gonna call, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, uh, find a friend here. What's the thing that was called Frankie Valley? Pick up JPC.

Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. Frankie, hit Valley. This is JPC. Hi, JPC. I'm in a car with Addle. Aaron, Addle. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

And he really wanted to talk to you about the boys' stuff. Is he doing this about the boys' stuff? Yeah, yeah. So do you have like a couple hours to talk to Addle about Jersey boys? And I don't What if they were Jersey men? I'm just money. We gotta go back

I've got to go back. I love it buddy. I'm just about to give them my Sandwich just about to take a big bite Oh, that seems like a perfect Like J.P. Riddle says yeah, I'm working my way Constantly country. You're gonna get every jibby jabs Uh feels like you could probably eat and listen at the same time. Oh, you know what? Aaron, look how I'm driving. Look how I'm driving Aaron.

How's he driving? Can you describe it? Yeah, I can't see it. Like this. I can't see it. You called me. Like this, I'm showing you. You called me. Oh.

You called me. All right, well, here's the phone. My name is Aaron and I'm here to say I'm having a great time on this road. Yeah, a turkey tom. Uh, no. having a great time on this road. Turkey Tom. No. Oh shit. She jumped out. Oh, she is rock hard.

All right. Liz, back to your email. We're really sorry. At the end of the email, she does say that's all I've got for now. Love to show so much. Shout out to my own resident old man, Puzzies and fellow listener, Carrie, for being the source of most of these. Keep it.

No shit. All Sherlock. Yes, Aaron's laugh is the best, most joyful thing I've ever heard. Wow. Well, let's all laugh. And let's have a laugh off. Okay. That's it.

You decide. You decide. Here's the first riddle. You draw a line on a piece of paper. Now, without altering that line, hold on. It's unfair. He's got a line. I've got it.

Right into the middle. I'm ready to do it. You draw a line on a piece of paper. Now, without altering that line in any way, either with your writing implement or manipulating the paper, how do you make it shorter? Hey, paper, you're cute but like not super cute. Things are shorter.

What? Hold on, I'm manipulating the paper. You're nagging the paper. Hey, can you grab a bunch? I forgot my wallet. Hey, that thing you thought I said I didn't say it. Gasoline. Gasoline.

So with my writing utensil or manipulating the paper, what do we do? You draw a line on a piece of paper. Now without altering that line in any way Either with your writing implement or manipulating the paper. How do you make it shorter? You draw a second line that is longer than that line They're by making that line shorter and The genius is Addle, congratulations. Thank you so much. What I do is I put my penis next to it. Therefore making my penis look very small Wait shit No Thank you so much what I do as I put my penis next to it. Therefore making my penis look very small

Was I right there? Yeah, you got a really really I was wait. Could you manipulate the paper? No, oh you can't but you can draw You just can't manipulate the why you can't manipulate the line or the paper. Okay, but I was gonna say fold the paper Well, that's been if you like the paper can I still have wind? Oh? But I was gonna say fold the paper. Well, that's been if you like the paper. Can I still have the win? Oh, one at night! You, you, I could have gotten that riddle right if I could break one of the central tendons of the riddle. Oh, God, that's the theme of the show.

In the middle of the woods, there are two men. Is this to a Lizardle? Mm-hmm. A Lizard, a Lizardle. Well, though, some of these are from Carries. Rizzles, Rizzles, and Rizzles. Yeah, these are maybe Carries. In the middle of the woods

There are two men one is alive and one is dead. They carry what? Post potatoes. Thank you. One is alive and one is a potato They carry identical backpacks the back pack of the living man is empty the back pack of the dead man is full. The backpack carried identical contents. What is in each backpack? They were transports full of pencils. Fuck, I mean parachutes. Parachutes.

Parachutes. Oh, I'm sorry, I have a bit of accent. A pair of shoes. They both had a pair of shoes. They went to pay less. One of them was real depressed about it. And wasn't paying attention to walked into a bear. I'm mad at you for getting that so fast.

Remember when we were bad at these? Those were the days. Those were the days when the riddles go sailing. This is their Vegas act that they're gonna be doing in 2050. Swinging to miss. And I'm the miss. I would love that already pair as your piano player player and it's you two in like pretty cheap

taxes in Vegas in 2015. Roch has got a question for you. Ring a ding ding and a plus a plus. I've got an answer for you. A leg a ding ding and a Rizzy Riz Riz. Excuse me while I pour four fingers of Scotch and Burbin and vodka right now. Hey fellas, you can't have live alligators in here. Excuse me, it's part of the show.

Let's get these alligators drunk now. Let's get these alligators drunk. And they won't be live by the end of the show. We're going to feed these alligators. Chalk, go lit. Chalk, go lit and feed those alligators to some Crocodiles. Yeah, there hasn't been an audience in the show. I've been saying that these are my puppets!

Why me to the moon literally? This guy's gubby skis to death! I can see me at Adela doing that. We're both like boozed at the very moment. 23 hours a day. Here's what we need to do. I'm there. I look great. For me.

You just, you're just presenting. Aaron looks like she's 22. We look like a magician's assistant. Yep. But secretly just drinking the whole time. Here's what we should do. We should do a live show that's like a Vegas old-timey rap act show.

And then also, I had an idea, JPC, I don't, you remember this, a year or two ago, I had an idea to produce a show that was JPC as a wanted tour guide. And it would leave from IO for only the month of October, it'd be once a week. We'd leave from IO and he has a group of people that he takes around like a 10 block radius

and he tells an improvised history haunted history of Chicago. I would go every night. I would love to do that just to take people just to Whole Foods across the street. I do an improvised ghost tour of Whole Foods. Sir, excuse me, sir. We're buying stuff. We can't tell us to leave. We're actually...

Somebody died in that salad bar. That's about as good as the improvisors I am. Somebody died in that salad bar. That's so funny. That's about as good as the professors I am. Somebody died in that salad bar. Somebody died by those breakfast cereals. What else, what else, what else? I think the best thing to do is be like, does anybody know, because this is what Real Honitour Guides do, which is like,

you see that building there? Does anybody know what happened there? And somebody like a nurse died? That's right, a nurse died. And you know her name? Monica, that's right a nurse. And there's the name. And you know her name? Monica, that's right. Monica. Well, we do our Vega show.

I want to have a straw connected to my bra that has to kill it. The straw is connected to bra. The bra is connected to to kill it. To kill us connected to sadness. Let's call the whole thing sad. I did an improvisal once at that whole food. So the whole foods across the street from I.O. where we all do comedy shows.

And our coach gave us partners and scene prompts. And then we were supposed to go into that whole foods and like live scenes as people. A immersive theater. A immersive theater. Yeah. And two people had their thing was that they had just broken up. And they were like walking through whole foods, like crying and holding hands.

And it was like people were like turning around and being like what happened there. Wait, it's incredible. Wait, how do most people break up? In whole foods, they're crying and holding hands? Yeah, so like it was like I think the scene prompted us like that it was like the end of a long relationship. I'm really aware of it. Wait, I'm just failing out of a moving car. I just took my nuts and roll. Kids, top your nuts and roll. That's so funny. What busted that one?

It's a fun thing to do. I remember walking by the table that Sean Coil and Willie Bittin so we're doing their thing and they were like two 50-year-old cops. They were like, yeah, we've been doing this a lot. This is a stretch boy. There's been plenty of them watching two 22 year olds play 50 year old cops. And they're just like drinking beers and hop leaf.

We're spending to be cops. I remember like my level one I.O. class. It'd be like some of you. The teacher would be like, now let's pretend you're like 50 years old. And then somebody would enter the scene as a 50 year old and be like, who's there? It is someone in the page mint. And it's like nailed it.

And then everyone else is like, have you ever, your parents are 50, like what are you doing? And now that you're 36, you're like, they were fucking right. I'm so close to that. Dad, what? You didn't even throw. I would love to do one more.

Okay, this is a good one. I'm really laughing now. I wish I had this formed up at the beginning. I'm gonna wanna fun. We do.. Okay, this is a good one. I'm really laughing now. I wish I had this formed up at the beginning. I'm gonna want to fun. Me too. Is this still Liz's riddle? Yeah. Honestly, Liz brought us so much joy.

I don't know if you're still listening. You might have checked out that. Checked out you being post-paintous. Kevin enters a room. In the room there are several masked people covered in blood. Sleep no more. There's a bell. There's a bell surround a dead body in the center of the room kevin does not call the police

who i uh... because he's at a initiation this is the movie scullin bones oh starring paul walker this is the movie the strangers and they only kill them because they're not yet secret society oh yeah the one that yeah uh... uh... judge smooth i know judge smooth got asked to be in it and then said no. And then they messed with him. How they messed with him like in a number of different. It's like it's you have to like do like weird stuff like you have to like piss on a sitting president or something

like that. And I think one got because he to become a judge you have to get the approval of all these people and a person that wouldn't give him approval was in that group. I was like shouldn't this end? That's crazy. Also, that's my favorite pavement song is piss on a sitting person. I could piss on, spit on a stranger's face. The answer to this riddle is I think it's a hospital room and I think that the people with the masks and covered in blood are surgeons and nursing staff.

He got it. Yes, thank you, man. Thank you, Nick. Well, then I definitely want to see you seeing. Yes. So you two are surgeon, and you are in the OR. And it's clearly this person who's post potatoes, and JPC, you're just going to be relentlessly positive. You're just trying to keep the mood in the room up.

OK, Aaron, and I was only half-listened, but you said that we are surgeons who live in Oregon. Gulp, gulp, gulp. And got it. I'm gonna drink this. I'm gonna drink this. How scary! I would like to ask you to also be a surgeon in the room. Okay. A woman surgeon? Are you out of your mind? The doctor was the mother. That's true. Is that your way of saying you're pregnant? Oh my god. What an episode. We gotta get it in scene. Well, okay, 1026, official time of death. She's 1026.

Is that a Freudian slip? Sorry, but it's my anniversary and I'm horny. 1026, official time of death. I did say 1026, I am thinking about going home. A lot of people, we have to tell the family what happened. Oh, I don't have, I don't really have a good bedside man. Okay, you know what I get for I get farty when I start to tell people bad news. You know, a good bedside man, I would be right.

I see said cottage bedside. And me and a while. And yeah, this person had kids. Oh, yes. Okay. So um person had kids. Oh, yes, okay, so Headkids they all died Emine Pospitalis Darrell Pospitalis. We we we got the medical term we use. Yeah, absolutely all the textbooks They post potatoes. That's what we use we have to go out we've to inform the new medical book is written by Nathan We have to go out there and we have to inform the family

It is anymore. We do not draw straws to do it? Not it. No it goes. I Guess we can't draw straws anymore because the straw embargo I guess they're I guess they're really really saving the planet on that one. Yeah This is a really easy surgery and we really do it. Yeah, this is routine surgery. We're 18 hours That's way too long for an appendectomy Okay, okay, you know what, I will go out and I will inform the family. Oh, thank you so much.

Great, thank you so much. But Greg, maybe like take a doubt and not to put the whole like smiling and bouncing about and being horny. Okay, also when you drink, I guess I'll just undo this cocaine. Just kidding, doctors can't stew drugs because we have to be doctors.

Mm. When you drink sprites, you always hold the cans so that the labels facing outward, like you're to be doctors. When you drink sprites, you always hold the cans so that the labels facing outward, like you're in a commercial. Yeah. I feel like it's really disarmed. Can you not do that? I also like to hold my fingers so that I make the cans

spell spit. And so people are like, oh, you drink it spit. And be like, no, I'm drinking sprites. Spits would be gross. Okay. Because the person donated a lot of money to a lot of beautiful is not really important. Okay, I'll go out there

Creek slap oh there is Nothing but good news. Are you the smooth family? Yes, we're the the niece and nephew of smooth. Okay, I have to tell you that the surgery was successful The surgery was successful. Oh, oh, oh. In Bringing. Oh, oh. In Bringing. In Bringing, three doctors closer together.

I see. Hey, is that it? Yes, that's all the scenes that we have. If you want to be just like Liz. This is all this. And give, uh, and submit riddles that aren't your own, but are your friend, Carries. Please email us at hrpodcastagemail.com.

Also follow us on Instagram and Twitter at HeyRiddleRiddle to chitchat with us and talk to us. You also gonna wanna pick up that phone or laptop, you're gonna wanna throw out the window, you're gonna borrow your roommate or neighbor's phone or laptop, you're gonna subscribe to our Patreon. $5 gets you a bonus episode every single week, every Friday we drop a new Patreon episode,

that's four or five a month. And I gotta be honest, I am self-loathing. They're great episodes. If you're listening to the main episodes and you're thinking, oh wow, these have really taken a dip in quality. All that quality is going over to the Patreon. We shifted it over like a dog.

It sounds like a bit, but it's something that we accidentally do. I'm not even, it's like probably a problem that we need to examine. Yeah, who but it's. You can problem that we need to examine. Yeah, who bui. You can follow me at JP So Fly on Twitter. You can follow me on Instagram at Shark Parkman. You can listen to the campaign podcast.

You can also watch my Twitch stream that I mentioned earlier in the show. It's called TPK. We played the board game, Gloomhaven. We just celebrated our one year anniversary. Ooh, huge presence. And you can follow us it's a Thursday night's Thursday nights 7 p.m. Central twitch dot tv slash one shot rpg you can follow me on Twitter

and Instagram at aorify you can it follows on Netflix and who lose a wonderful horror movie and you can come see us at world news tonight every Saturday at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. All three of us are there. Please say hi afterwards. We've had a wonderful run of people saying hi. Please give us a shout and we'll come talk to you. And also check out a little from the Magic Tiber and check out Siblings Pectular, my other podcast.

Aaron, what do you have to book? Come see Wet Bus every Thursday at 10 PM at the I.O. Theater. It's me and my best friends. It's really, really fun. I'm very, really proud of that show. So come see that. And then follow me at Aaron Keefe 10 on Instagram. I'm private to keep all of the mold away from my Instagram. You could also, I would say go visit our T-Pub store and buy some of our merch. We have a really cool shirt. Aaron happens to be wearing it right now. It says Keefe and it real and Aaron, what's that little guy living on that shirt? Jopeter! Bye forever! I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music,

I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music,

I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, I'm the hero of the music, you