Hey Riddle Riddle - #425: JeopRiddie! w/ Janet Varney

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

This IS JeopRiddieStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Janet VarneyEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Mo...rrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!JPC's Guided Meditations Volume 1, available now at our Patreon digital store!Want merch? Visit our Dashery Store!Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a Headgum podcast. Hey guys, I just want to let you know that today's episode is supported by Dumms and Dragons, a podcast where professional improvisers and comedians play Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. It's like the Lord of the Rings if everyone was an idiot. And when I say supported by, I mean emotionally. Apparently, they know that we're having kind of a tough time and they're here for us. Aw. I'm an idiot.
Starting point is 00:00:26 I think I would love this show. It's storytelling from an award-winning game designer and a cast made up of Second City trained improvisers. Dum Dumb's and Dragons is a show that will make you laugh and might even make you cry, I assume, from laughing so hard. And guess what, everybody? We already know that you love a trio of zany idiots because you're here and they've got that too over there. It's a trio of zany idiots. And Dumb Dums and Dragons has been downloaded more than, or dumbloaded, as I should say, more than 19 million times. Can we say dumb loaded?
Starting point is 00:00:59 Is that? Yes. Dumb loaded. It's like downloaded but for Dumb Dumb Dums and Dragons. This show is also dumbloaded, so if you've ever listened to Hey, Roderdo, you've been downloading that as well. It's the perfect show to start if you're curious about how D&D works. And if you're a veteran player, you'll have a blast as this cast quickly picks up the
Starting point is 00:01:14 rules and their wild adventure begins. And new episodes are released every Monday, guys. And you can listen to Dum Dums and Dragons anywhere you listen to podcasts. Our thanks to Dumm Dums and Dragons for their support emotionally. Thank you, Dumm Dums and Dragons for everything that you do for us. Someone say dumb dumbs and dragons, it's me, dumb Dave. Dave. Hi, dumb Dave.
Starting point is 00:01:37 We can't get into you right now, Dave. I've got nothing but time for you, dumb Dave. Bark, park, park, JBC, me hungry. Adel, we've talked about this, my man. If you do that, I will feed you, but it will be dog food. That's fine. Okay. I mean, I think I know what's going on.
Starting point is 00:02:01 You want the dog food because you know that I use Ali dog food. Rough rows. Ali's fresh recipes are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best meals with the highest quality ingredients for dogs. Now, I got to say, Adel, you can eat it. I don't think you're going to like it as a human. This is specifically for dogs. It just looks and sounds so good.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Also, with Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check in on your dog's health with real vets, just by uploading a picture of your dog, not of your addle. Their team can check in on your dog's weight, digestion, coat, all because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be. I wonder what happens if I upload a picture of Adel. Let me just try it now. They said, oh, they said, this dog is very sick.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Take this dog. Take this dog. It says to a people hospital. I switched to Ali. I tried it out. My dog spaghetti absolutely went nuts for Ali. She is a dog, one of these types of dogs. I don't know if you heard of these types of dogs.
Starting point is 00:03:02 She's a type of dog who you can put the food in her bowl, and then she'll just, like, see it in there all day and only eat it when she's hungry. Now, when it's time for dinner at about 4 o'clock every day, she comes up and starts snapping at me like, hey, man, get the Olly out of the French, put it in the bowl, dude. You've got to be getting faster at this. She absolutely loves it, and it's the first food that I've ever given her
Starting point is 00:03:22 that she actually seems to be interested in. So get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. head to ollie.com slash riddle. Tell them all about your dog and use code riddle to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's OLLL-I-E.com slash riddle. And intercode riddle to get 70% off your first box can confirm the promo code works because I used it.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I used my own promo code for my own podcast. That's how much I like the product. Oh, shoot. I just remembered I buried some bones of them. the backyard and by bones i mean erin let me go dig her up boy ollie feed the obsession hey janet um thank you for being here i thought um coming a little early i thought we do an episode of hey janet janet today um oh jpc and aaron are outside uh should i let them in oh my gosh this is so awkward i thought i was recording e plurubis motto with john hodgeman today oh um okay i can you guys
Starting point is 00:04:59 have a great hey janet janet thank you that's a great idea do you often do those um this this would have been the first oh okay just to sort of celebrate and show our love for you but yeah no go what do you mean would have been you guys aren't going to still do it doesn't count as us being late this does not count as us being late okay let me just pulled on the blinds here erin's faces pressed up against the window and i are doing hands in a hard body we're trying to win this car yeah we shut the other blinds here jpc something is press up against the window. I'm so glad JPC established that it was a car that they were touching. Well, have fun with John Hodgeman.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Can we get in? Can we get in with the car? You know what? Honestly, like, if I'm this far into making this big of a mistake, I might as well stay. It's not like, like I always got the day and time wrong. Is Jana in there? No way. Are we doing, hey, Dana did it? Don't believe it, Aaron. He's just trying to get us to take our hands off of this car. And as soon as he does, his neighbor's going to come out and drive away. Well, let me just open the door here and let me leave it. breadcrumb trail of riddles into the house and see if anybody takes the bake.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Yep, yep, that did it. And let me touch the car and I win the hard body. No. Wow. I wanted a hard body. Aw. Well. Hi, Janet.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Surprise. Hey. You guys thought I was coming. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hey, here I am as planned. I always show up when I'm supposed to. And today we'll be talking about Nevada. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Perhaps. I feel right at home. We're not, I lied. We're not doing a hey Janet, Janet, but we are doing something that starts with a J. Guys, plop down on the couch. This is Jeopardy. Huh? Oh.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Oh, you said starts with a J and plopped down on the couch, so I got to, I was putting two and two together. What did you say? Nothing. What did you say? Jeopardy, right? Jeopardy? This is Jeopardy. From the Adlerify closet studio in Chicago, Illinois.
Starting point is 00:06:59 This is Jeff Ritty. Welcome back to our returning guests, Aaron Keith, JPC, and Jennifer. And now here is the host of Jeff Ritty, Adlerafi. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Now, I know what you're thinking. Isn't this typically done on the Patreon?
Starting point is 00:07:22 Well, the two we've done spaced out by several years. We're both on the Patreon. Is that right? Jeopardy is sort of a daywalker, if you will. If you love Blade like I do, it can exist on both the main feed and the Patreon. Wow. And what better add for the Patreon, which I believe that'll, despite rising costs and inflation, is still $5 a month.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Whoa, that would make Blade happy if you're a Blade fan like me. That would make Blade very happy. Do you think this increases our chances of getting sued by Jeopardy, putting it out here for the world to see? Not to mention Blade. Oh, God. Well, they've been after us. for years. Yeah, I feel like Wesley Snipes doesn't want to enter a court.
Starting point is 00:08:05 But they also just canceled the other Blade movie. So I feel like we're in the clear. Blade might be public domain by this point. They've waited so long. It's the great Gatsby of superheroes. Well, let's meet our three contestants here on Jeopardy. A woman who once showed her Norstrom Rack from Dunkin' Donuts, Massachusetts. This better be me.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Aaron Keith. Hey, everybody. I'm so honored. to be on Jepp Ritty. I'm in a particularly good mood today because my friend Janet is back on the show. The universe seems in balance. And I plan to win. How are you, Adel?
Starting point is 00:08:42 I'm doing well. Thank you so much. 100 points for reciprocity. Yeah. For that's to be how I am. That's what I thought. A woman I'm upset with because she failed to let me know she did voice work for the movie Erkel Save Santa.
Starting point is 00:08:57 From Ghost Town, Arizona. Janet Varney. Janet, I'm not even going to ask how you are. How is recording voice work for the movie Urkel Save Santa? Wait, this is so weird because I'm sure it's going to shock everyone that I don't receive a lot of residuals from that project. But I opened up a fat check from that when I, like yesterday. Yesterday I opened up a check and it was from Urkel saves. So it feels like you're reading my mail?
Starting point is 00:09:26 Well, let's move on there. Sounds like maybe Adel rented Urkel Save Santa that you got the check. from the one guy who rented Urkel's and Santa. Let me tell you this. That movie was written by the great Wyatt Senac, a phenomenal improviser and a daily show correspondent and all around great human being. And I am positive. That is the only reason that that was something that was put on the table for me. And I was like, my two favorite guys in one thing, Wyatt and Urkel.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Wow. I know I didn't do that. I feel like I saw the movie. I feel like I just saw the movie. I guarantee, I am going to watch it, but I guarantee you Santa says did I do that at some point? He must. I hope so. Or got any cheese?
Starting point is 00:10:15 I've also, by the way, never seen Family Matters. I only know that that's something that Urkel says. Well, Janet, we're thrilled to have you here. A man who, let's get to our final contestant here, a man who doesn't eat meat but agrees with how we get foie raw. From truck nuts in Indiana, JPC. Hi, Adel. Glad to be here. First time caller, second time text her.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Third time show up at her work with flowers and a tattoo with her name on your face. A tattoo with her name. Okay, yeah. On Adol's face? What about her face on your name? Oh, yeah. Her face on your name. Oh, ba-a-boom, ba-da-bing.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Oh, her face on your name? Yeah. Yep. That baddabum, butta big. What else do you have to say? I guess I like smuddy comedians as long as nothing makes sense.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Yeah. And speaking of Bada boom, Bada Bing, thank you to our sound producer, Mr. Casey Tony Suprano. Mm-hmm. Thank you for all you do. Here's how the game works.
Starting point is 00:11:17 If you know an answer, please pause in by saying the word pus. Our judges will decide who pussed in first if the occasion is a close call. And remember, if possible, All answers must be in the format of what is or who is. I don't think I'd say it if possible.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Before we get started, does anyone want to complain about anything? How much time do you have? The AC is still not working my apartment at all. It's been broken since the last weekend of May. And that is the entire summer, Addle. I'm so hot. I've Google heat madness twice a day. Aaron, for your 100 points that you got before the game started,
Starting point is 00:11:59 I will buy you a new air conditioner and send it to you. I wish, because they keep threatening to come and fix it. Do you see how artfully she held on tightly to those 100 points? She doesn't want to give them up? Dang. Smart, savvy player. Aaron, do you know, his name is short for air conditioning Slater.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Oh. That's a little bit of the show. I love to learn. I put the categories in the, chat free here. Our categories today are... Hold on, hold on. You got to complain that I don't. I don't get to complain. We only get one complaint. If you want to complain about that, we've burned it till next episode. We burned it on air conditioning. Jesus. Our categories today are triple rhyme time before and after. Sex with me is like blank.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Limerick rolled, in which you'll complete a limerick, screen tests, two dark can't watch, and first impressions. For each of these categories on the board, we have a 200, 400, 600, 800, and 1,000. And who has control of the board? Is it the person who complained last? Jesus Christ. J.B.C. Go, just, you go.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Because I didn't complain last. I complained about not getting allowed to complain about something. Fuck in Christ. And I will be complaining about it later in the episode. Don't let the squeaky wheel get the grease here at all, because then it's going to set a precedent for the episode. Oh, squeaky wheel gets the grease. That's a great category.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Danny Zucco stuff. Oh, I got you back to Australia. Give her a point. What are we, Dad? Give her a point. Janet, 100 points. I've won them honestly, instead of having to buy them from someone else. This feels good.
Starting point is 00:13:36 So as the only one without points, I'm going to take a triple rhyme time for 200 at all. Great, triple rhyme time for 200. Here we go. What mom and dad say to tell you to cut out all the violent horseplay. What mom and dad say to tell you to cut out all the violent horseplay? JPC. or do I say pause, pause. Puzz, please.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Okay, so we all say Puzz. Okay. What is, I'll fucking kill you, you little miscreas. I have to POSC, but that is incorrect. This is triple rhyme to I'm emphasis on the rhyme. Puzz. Aaron. What is fun, done, son.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Ooh. A hundred points for fighting another answer. That's not what I have, but that is a great answer. Uh, pause. JPC again? I'll just throw out what is Knock it off, Hasselhoff. Zero points for that one.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Because all three don't rhyme. Janet, did you want to take a stab? What mom and dad say to tell you to cut out all the violent horseplay. It's a bit of a tough one for 200. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:47 And it's triple rhymes. Rumble, bumble. It's a hundred points of Janet. Yes, it's triple rhyme, which means the answer will be three words that all rhyme with one another. With three another, sorry. Violent horseplay, we might call rough stuff. This is enough rough stuff. Enough rough stuff.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Oh, that's good. That one makes sense. Yeah, yeah. It's not fun. Our answer should make sense. Fun? I think the hard part there was that it was rough, which is the sound of dog makes, and I'll did say horse. so I was so fucking confused the whole time.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Oh, the dog play, I'm sorry. JPC, you maintain control of the board? I did it really well in that last round because I did do two wrong answers when you're really only supposed to be able to do one. So I will go triple rhyme time for 400, please, at all. If you notice you're doing something incorrect, you can halt the process yourself
Starting point is 00:15:41 versus blaming me. I'm sorry, what was your choice? Triple rhyme time for 400. Here we go for 400, triple rhyme time. Neatly and elegantly dressed, he applauds the style of a young and liberated 1920s woman. Neatly and elegantly dressed, he applauds the sign, Aaron Keefe. Dapper. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Flapper. Yep. Applads. Clapper. That's correct. For 400, Aaron Keefe. You have control of the board. I'm scared.
Starting point is 00:16:16 That was really, that was a 400 one? Yeah, which the early ones were telling. often trip around time this time. I also like to point out that Janet, instead of saying pause, just nodded her head vigorously and opened her mouth a couple of times. Uh-huh. I apologize. I have the... I had two, but I couldn't, I somehow couldn't get the third one. And the third one was just clapper. The easiest one. I have the document with all the questions open, so I unfortunately won't be able to look at the video much. But I'll try to... Well, hold on now. She didn't say pus. So... Yeah, you're in the clear. You couldn't have called on her. That would
Starting point is 00:16:51 That would be breaking a roll. Thank you. Erin, you have control of the board. I would like to do too dark can't watch for 200, please. This is too dark, can't watch, or too weird can't watch, depending on how you want to take it. What I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a famous TV show. And Aaron, you will pick one other person of the contestants to do a scene from. This will be a deleted scene from this TV show that was too dark or weird that it didn't make the cut.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Cool. What numerical amount? 200. Okay, Erin, this is too dark or weird, can't watch Friends. And I can set up the scene. Set up a scene, but first, please select who you'd like to do the scene with, either Janet or JPC. I would like to do a scene with Janet. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:43 We are going to be Ross and Rachel, and I'm going to be Ross. And Janet, you're going to realize in real time just how like kind of weird Ross is. And you're going to kind of break the fourth wall and just stop being into him all of a sudden. Okay. Baby, I missed dinner because I was focusing on dinosaur bones. Yeah. Let me clarify something. When you're at the museum, do you have the monkey with you?
Starting point is 00:18:16 or? Classic. All of a sudden, I'm responsible for the monkey. Rachel, baby, come on. Let me be despicable. You're getting so close to me. You're so close to me. Why are your hands so damp?
Starting point is 00:18:31 Take them off my shoulders. My hair gel's damp, baby. I just don't. Okay, okay. My hair gel from the nymph. I'm so sorry. James, James, I can't. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:41 I can't. No amount of brilliant directing is going to save this. This guy is a total. weirdo. I can't do this. I think we should not ever do any other takes. I got to get out of here. Jennifer, we get along great in real life. Why all of a sudden when I'm Ross, you get the GV. Ross, we don't get along great. I don't know who you are, Ross. Oh, damn. We've never spoken. Very dark. Two hundred points to you, Aaron, and 100 points to to Janet for the assist. That was worse than the
Starting point is 00:19:16 9-11 episode that they had to cut because I think Chandler said bomb on an airplane or something like that. Did they? Do you remember that? No. There were famously like so many things that like happened around 9-11 that everyone was like oh no, we got to pull back, pull back. Yeah, there was like, I remember that, yeah,
Starting point is 00:19:33 there was that movie that didn't get released until like a year later. Oh yeah, okay, so they pulled an episode from season eight where Chandler gets detained at the airport after making a joke about bombs. Yeah, they couldn't put that one up. But they put it in Meet the Parents. Yeah, you know.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Aaron, you have control of the work. Yes, triple rhyme time for 600. And I just want to say a thousand points to all three of you for the restraint to not pounce on sex with me is like blank. Thank you. Eric, you said triple rhyme time for how much? 600. I'm not 100% sure what's still left. 600 is available.
Starting point is 00:20:14 600 is available. It's 200 and 400. Yeah. Pleasing frozen H2O cost. Pleasing frozen H2O cost. Uh, but, pause. Janet.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Nice ice price. It's a nice ice price. 600 to Janet. Janet, you have control of the board. Um, obviously cannot be the first one to pick sex with me as like because we've weren't even been a one or then. Yeah. For sure.
Starting point is 00:20:38 You can't be. Can't be the first impressions for 200. Great. First impressions for 200. these are going to be impressions of a celebrity doing a famous role in a movie. So this will be, you said for 200? Yeah. Janet, this will be Bjork as Dorothy in the movie Wizard of Haz.
Starting point is 00:21:02 So wait, this just goes straight to me. I don't call Puzz or anything. Oh, I'm sorry. Got it, got it, got it. Sorry. No, no, that's one. Once we get, it's assigned like the friends one. It's like we do it ourselves.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Okay. Okay, so Bjork is Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Okay. Hello, tiny people. This is the most at home I have ever felt in my life. That dress made out of dead bird? Who, me? My house dropped on a tiny bird and I made it into a dress.
Starting point is 00:21:40 It was wearing really cute. choose. Anyway, the yellow brick roads that way, so. Well, Seed. Well, outstanding job. Thank you for grounding this and making it about legit directions. Outstanding job.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Janet, 600 points for that wonderful job in the 200 category. You have control of the board? Let's do before and after, because I forget what that is for 200. Okay, before and after for 200. The last four words of the song we've all heard live the most, as sung by an animated kitchen appliance. What? And before and after, for example, I'll give an example,
Starting point is 00:22:27 which I don't typically do, but Jana, before and after would be something along the lines of, okay, so if we say a sitcom starring John Lithgow meets the killer who ran rampant in New York in 1970s. It might be third rock from the son of Sam. Son of Sam. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:43 But typically the sun wouldn't be spelled differently. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. But that's along the lines. What were thinking of up. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:50 So let me repeat here. The last four words of the song we've all heard live the most as sung by an animated kitchen appliance. And I'll add that Aaron Keefe is terrified of. Mm-hmm. Uh, oh, boy. Can I tell you what my brain is doing so you know how claustphobic it is to be me? Oh, pause. Puzz.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Yes. And the home of the brave little toaster. That is correct for 200? My brain was doing star spangled burner. Oh, wow. I thought, this was over my head was, happy birthday to you. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Ooh. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's a good point. I was trying to think of how to phrase the national anthem tour wasn't obvious, but the song we've probably all heard live the most is happy birthday. I was thinking more of like live events, but you are correct. So Janet, 200 to you as well for me. What the heck and even star spangled burner kicked up no dust, no sand.
Starting point is 00:23:50 But Janet didn't even put a kitchen thing at the end of it, right? GPC, just take your points and be grateful. She just had a happy birthday to you. Guys, guys, guys, you're on my game show, please. Also, has anyone, has anyone answered in the form of a question? No. No, and I didn't want to say anything. I did a couple times.
Starting point is 00:24:09 I did this. No, Aaron. You didn't say it. You specifically did not say who is Janet Vardy, which you should have said to suggest Janet Vardy for that scene. Boo. That's right. Erin, I'm going to give you a hundred of the 200 points I just undeservedly got. You keep your points.
Starting point is 00:24:25 You keep your points. No, I need to have them. Don't look a points horse in the mouth. No, I want to earn them fair and square. Who has control of the board? You did earn it fair and square by tattling on yourself or me. I can't remember. I tattled.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I tattled. You defended. We'll be right back with more. Or Jepp Ready. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, guys, it's JPC, and I want to know if you could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing, what would that thing be? For me, it's got to be podcasts, because I know how bad I am at it currently. I get the emails, I get the texts, I know what you guys are thinking.
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Starting point is 00:25:41 beneficial to you as well, and you'll only know if you give online therapy a try. So sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash riddle. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. And go ahead and tell them JPC sent you. They won't know what that means. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Hey everybody, it's me, JPC, Squarespace's favorite son, and I want to tell you about the all-on-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online,
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Starting point is 00:27:10 If I wasn't a user of Squarespace, would I know what a premium workshop even is? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't lie to you guys and I wouldn't lie to you. So I'll tell you to head to Squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code Riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Tell them, JPC sent you. Whoa, who's that new hunk? He's dressed so well. Oh, look at him. He is dressed so well. You guys, you're looking in a mirror.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Oh, I thought that was like Vince Quince or something. Yeah, that's us. We look amazing. I thought that was like Quince Diesel or something. We look like that? Yes, it's because you are wearing your new Quince high-quality wardrobe staples. Look at you, Adeline, your 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater. Oh, and JPC, you look incredible in this button down. if I do say as on myself. Wow, our styles are truly timeless, versatile, and designed to become
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Starting point is 00:29:12 Vince Quince out. Bye Vince Quince. Does somebody say Quince Diesel? No. No, man. Come on, man. Who has control of the board? J-P-C?
Starting point is 00:29:29 I believe that was J-P-C. Okay, let's take rhyme time for 800 at all. All right, rhyme time 800. Triple rhyme time for 800. This is a Washington City Graduation Certificates smell. A Washington City
Starting point is 00:29:45 graduation certificates Puzz. Smell. Yes, JPC. What is Tacoma Diploma Aroma? That is correct. Wow. Good job.
Starting point is 00:29:55 800 points to you. Okay. Let's keep it going. Triple rhyme time for a thousand, Adel. To close out the category, triple rhyme time for a thousand, the method that we came up with
Starting point is 00:30:06 to make the smog weaker. The method that we came up with to make the smog weaker. And smog spelled like air... Yes, Janet. Hold on. I may have called it out before I had an answer.
Starting point is 00:30:24 I know it's pollution solution. You have two of the three. If you want to make something weaker, you might do this to it. Dilution. Yes, Janet for a thousand. What is? What is? She got it. She got it at the end. Pollution.
Starting point is 00:30:41 dilution solution. Janet, an extra 1,000 points for catching and correcting the, what is. Thank you so much. This is the kind of undeserved wealth that causes people to become drug addicts, like five minutes into being given money. So this is very bad. You have control of the board, Janet. Where would you like to go?
Starting point is 00:31:02 Sex with me. Thanks with me. For 200. For 200, sex with me is like the candy eyes. aisle. The candy aisle. Buzz. And we can have multiple buzzes for this one,
Starting point is 00:31:19 which might be the sex with me is like, Aaron. What is, sex with me is like a candy aisle. It's sticky. That is correct. Puzz. Can I,
Starting point is 00:31:29 are we supposed to say what is it's sticky? Like, no, it's just. For this, because I feel like for this one specifically, I'll cut the joke a little bit. I put mine, I put mine what is before the sex with me.
Starting point is 00:31:41 And then I'm, Okay, okay. You heard, yeah. Janet, did you buzz? I did, Puzz. Puzz, thank you. What a great impulse by, but it makes your teeth fall out. 200 to you.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Anyone else? Puzz. JPC? What is sex with me is like, you think you're getting king size, but it's Eminem's middies. 200 to you. Buzz. Aaron? Sex with me is like a candy aisle.
Starting point is 00:32:10 It's going to make you snicker. Two hundred to you. Janet. Sex with me is like, talk about looking for Mr. Goodbar. That's awesome. Marvelous Mrs. Basil style. Janet 200 to you. And Adel, if we think of one later in the show, could we buzz in with it?
Starting point is 00:32:31 100%. Thank you. Okay, we'll close that out. Let's say, Janet, you still have, was that, yes, you chose that. We'll have you maintain control of the board. Okay, first impressions for 400. Great. For 400, you're going to do Forrest Gump from the movie Forrest Gump.
Starting point is 00:32:51 And this is going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, please. Okay. And JPC and Aaron, feel free to flesh out any scenes as needed. Gotcha. Hey, random person. Please take these chocolates. They're very bad for me. I can't eat them because I'm fit.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I'm sorry. Your accent's so interesting. Where are you from? What's your life story? It's not a tumor. I'm safe. 600 to Janet, an additional 100 to JPC for jumping in there. And Janet, you have control of the board.
Starting point is 00:33:38 I guess let's get into some limerick rolled for 200. For 200, this is limerick rolled. you're going to finish the limerick. There once was a sweet little duck. And we can have anyone pause in for this one. There once was a sweet little duck? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:01 And I feel like you know what you're doing here, sir. Yeah, do you do the whole, like you have to do the whole like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Wow, that's long. Okay. You finished the whole limerick. Did that count? Puzz.
Starting point is 00:34:18 A point for effort. Errany. You know what? I'm just going to go for it. I'm going to make it up on the fly. Okay. There once was a sweet little duck. He decided he's ready to fuck.
Starting point is 00:34:32 I did it. I fell into your trap. Are you happy? There once was a sweet little duck. He decided he's ready to fuck. He spread out his wings. He flew by some things. And ultimately decided it's yuck.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Aaron? 2,000 points for not only completing the limerick, but jumping and learning how to land on the way down. I built a parachute after jumping out of the plane, and it didn't work. And I lit it in a tree, and I'm in a lot of pain. I thought it was us, sir. Puzz? Yes. It's the once was a sweet little duck?
Starting point is 00:35:17 Mm-hmm. Okay. There once was a, what is? There once was a sweet little duck whose cock was so long he could suck. It was a corkscrew. if only he knew because now in its mouth that it is stuck
Starting point is 00:35:32 no because now he can no longer clock JPC sorry there's zero points for putting an image in my head that will keep me up at night can you pour bleach on your brain it says no
Starting point is 00:35:47 okay I need a different strategy rat FK sorry let's check with rat FK can you pour bleach on your brain. Big a boy bleach on. Anything you want a more bleach on? He knows best.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Janet, we're right where you left us, by the way. I know he's been gone a little while. Nothing has changed. We're frozen in amber over here. We don't plan on improving on our... There's definitely what we're working on. Aaron, let's have you take control of the board. Incredible.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Are we done with the triple rhyme time category? Did we run that out? Triple rhyme time is closed out. Can we do before and after? Please, for 600. Perfect. For 600 before and after. Musical based on Pygmalion in which a gentle woman rides through Coventry naked. Pause.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Janet? My Fair Lady Godiva. That is correct. Wow. Wow. Incredible. 600 points to you, Janet, and you have control of the board. Too dark can't watch for 400?
Starting point is 00:36:53 Is that where we are with that? Yeah. For Rick. It's about it, right? Okay. too dark or too weird can't watch. And again, this is a TV show, and you're going to show us a deleted seed from that show because it was too dark or maybe too weird.
Starting point is 00:37:07 For 400, this is going to be SpongeBob SquarePants. And Janet, you can pick your scene partner before you start. I will pick Adel. I'm going to say... Oh, no, you got to be. You never said nothing in the rules says a dog can't play the scene. Guys, you're on my game show. Nothing than the dog can't play ball.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Baseball. Nothing in the baseball says a dog can't go. Fine. Okay, okay. I'm just very bad at itty voice in SpongeBob. But Janet, who would you like you to play? Yeah. I will be, I've only seen SpongeBob a couple of times, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:37:43 I guess I will be squid word. Okay. That doesn't really matter. What's important is you'll be SpongeBob. This is the scene. where everyone realizes they can neither breathe nor speak underwater. Excellent. Hey, Squidward, are you okay?
Starting point is 00:38:12 Oh, of course. I'm fine. I love to get nervous. Help, help, help, help. Something's wrong with the ocean, guys. We got to swim up. We got to swim up. Nothing wrong in the ocean guys.
Starting point is 00:38:30 We got to swim up. We got to swim up. Hey, Dan, can you get in my office? Why would you animate this? See. What'd you draw this? 400 points to you, Janet, and you have control of the board. Wait, what about all those assists I just got?
Starting point is 00:38:46 No, no, no. That was for you. They brought it to life. Take the points away. Here's the trouble in that, Janet is. I was a part of that stated. I don't think I added much, so I'm going to remove myself. I feel like you put your whole ass into that.
Starting point is 00:38:59 You did a death scene, Adol? That was amazing. Give yourself a point. You choked on water as a sponge. Yeah. Yeah, I'll put that on my resume. I don't know. I don't, can you come into my office?
Starting point is 00:39:11 Why would you put this in your resume? Under special skills, you wrote Rides Horse Naked? Let's do X with me for 400. Okay, this is sex with me is like the Olympics. And anyone can buzz it, puss in at any time. Puzz. APC.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Sex with me is like the Olympics. Just tell me where to put my shot. 400 points to you. Buzz. Aaron? Sex with me is like the Olympics. You're representing your entire country. 400 to you?
Starting point is 00:40:01 Puzz. Jeanette? Sex with me is like the Olympics. Steroids aren't allowed. 400 to you? Buzz. Erin? Sex with me is like the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:40:15 We always run out of condoms. 400 to you? True. True story. Oh, Puzz. JPC? Sex with me is like the Olympics. Regardless, there will be a Swiss person at every event.
Starting point is 00:40:34 I'm going to. say no points for that because I don't understand it. So we'll stop there with the Olympics and Janet, you have control of the board. This is too much control. Can I seed control of the board to Aaron? Erin, you have control. Incredible. Let's do before and after for 800, please.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Before and after for 800, please. Thank you, Janet. 100 points to you for Plague log. Numeric sci-fi book about a metaverse and a singular evening of passion. Numeric sci-fi book about a metaverse And a singular evening of passion This sci-fi book was also a movie Oh, pause, pause, pause
Starting point is 00:41:12 I believe I heard Aaron first Ready, what is Ready Player One Night Stand? 800 points to you, Aaron, very good job And you have control of the board as Aaron Keith Let's finish out the category, Alex, for 1,000 before and after Before and After does have a 400 and and a thousand left Ooh, 400, please. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Before and after for 400. Kermit's colorful theme song about the group that nominated Ralph Lader. Did you get a party? What is? It's not easy being Green Day. That is it correct. Party. Party.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Party. I didn't let you finish. I didn't let you finish. Green Day Party. Green Day Party. Why did I let you finish? Green Day Party. Everyone knows it's called the Green Day Party now.
Starting point is 00:42:00 You didn't let me finish. I apologize. Janet, 400 points and an additional 100 points for me cutting off before you were finished. Oh, my God. This is not cool. 121 gun for the environment or whatever they care about. Seat belts. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:42:19 Not of our business. Oh, no. And since Janet got that right, Erin, you do have control of the board. Can I do before and after for a thousand, please? To close out the category for 1,000 before and after. Stacey's mom Warblers put an actor in the band once a TV sitcom Postman. Stacey's mom Warblers put an actor in the band once a TV sitcom Postman. Do I not?
Starting point is 00:42:51 I have a guess he's postman. Also in Jurassic Park. Puzz. JPC. Who is Fountains of Wayne's Night? Fountains of Wayne Knight? That is correct. Wow.
Starting point is 00:43:03 I'm glad you corrected yourself because it is singular Wayne and not... Fountains. Fountains of Wayne? Fountains of Wayne? Yeah, I believe you said Fountain of Wayne's Knight, but you corrected yourself. That is a thousand points to you, JPC. You have control of the board. Okay, so we're done with triple rhyme time.
Starting point is 00:43:22 We're done with before and after. Can we go, what, limerick rolled for 400 now? Limric rolled for 400. And anyone can pause in to complete this. Okay. There was a young girl who could fly. There was a young girl who could fly. Um, buzz.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Aaron. There was a young girl who could fly. So one day she jumped out of the sky. She remembered she dreamt it. Wait. Drip it. Let's go with dripped it. What's this going to be?
Starting point is 00:44:05 She, oh, no. Take the points away, but can I start over? It was too, your thing that you were thinking of was too funny, but you forgot the thriving part of it. You don't know me. You're going to start over if you like. There was a younger hook of fly. So one day she jumped out of the sky.
Starting point is 00:44:26 We're going to take a quick point. As she was falling, her dad started calling. He reminded her that, that, That fly sky. I know that flies guy. She can't... Oh.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Oh, my God. Oh, no. Aaron will be right over. She remembers. Erin Limericks are just slow rapping. We'll be right back with more. Jeff Ritty. You guys, I'm rebranding.
Starting point is 00:45:13 You know how my whole thing is how tired I am all the time? Yes. And that I am constantly trying to find solutions and most of them have me like crash after a couple hours. Sure. Yeah. That's all over now. I have ultra pouches. Does a cartwheel puts my hands up.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Whoa. Whoa. She said does a cartwheel. Aaron, I am so happy for you. I mean, I am kind of sad that this means that we won't get any more like a classic energyless Aaron antics, which were some of my favorite of your antics. but it's cool that you've found something that works for you. Yes, they're instant focus in a pouch. I also heard that ultra pouches are ideal for athletes, runners, and health conscious people
Starting point is 00:45:57 because they are 100% nicotine-free? Yes. Just pop one pouch in five minutes before your run, workout, or workday, and you'll feel it sharpen your mind and lift your energy by the time you start. Hmm, and it's trusted by top athletes, entrepreneurs, and engineers around the world. Does another cartwheel, winks. Wow, she said she did another cartwheel. And I'm also hearing that 90% of users saw significant improvements in their overall focus levels, calm, steady flow state focus, enhanced memory, smooth energy, mood balance, all with zero nicotine and zero caffeine.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Wow, zero caffeine, too? Yeah, and guess what? Doesn't taste bad. There's all sorts of flavors. Cool mint, winter green, tropical watermelon, and blue razze. Third cartwheel into a backflip, winks again. Okay, Aaron, you said that you did all those things. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine.
Starting point is 00:46:49 New customers can use code Riddle to save 15% off at Take Ultra.com. That's TakeUltra.com for 15% off with code Riddle. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them, hey, Riddle Riddle sent you. Oh, when you said the ultimate guilt-free pouch, that kangaroo put its head down. You're doing good too, buddy. Thank you. I thought I had an Australian accent.
Starting point is 00:47:14 Bye. No. Catherine Hepburn as a kangaroo? Help, help, help, help, help, help, help. Kangaroo Hepford? You don't know what you've got until it's gone. You guys? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:26 I legitimately had terrible sleep last night. I'm staying in an Airbnb while the AC gets fixed to my place. And guess what? I miss my bed. I miss my Helix mattress. I have a midnight lux. And guess what? I couldn't bring it to the Airbnb with me.
Starting point is 00:47:42 I wish I had appreciated it. it more. I wish I had told it. I wish I had told my mattress. Did someone say Miss My Mattress? It's me, the Helix Sleep Mask Gun. Sympathy Steve. Oh, hey, Sympathy Steve. Did you win Miss My Mattress, the competition? Isn't he mattress? I did. Sympathy Steve. And well, I can't, and well I can't give you a Helix mattress because, you know, that'd be insane if I was just a guy who gave out Helix mattresses. I can't say, it sucks what you're going through. Yeah, it does suck. Helix is the best. They deliver your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. You get 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. So what's the risk? And they also
Starting point is 00:48:31 have the happy with Helix guarantee. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. Whoa, Sympathy, Steve, you have a tattoo on your leg. It says Helix is the most awarded mattress brand tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired? And I won't tell you what that's covering up. It was worse. But what I will tell you to do is go to HelixSleep.com slash riddle for the Labor Day Best of Web sale that's running now until September 13th. It's 27% off sitewide and that is exclusive for listeners of Hey Riddle Riddle riddle.
Starting point is 00:49:05 That's helixleep.com slash riddle for the Labor Day Best of Web sale. Helixleep.com slash riddle. I can't empathize with you, but I can sympathize with you. Did someone say empathy? It's me, Empathy Ed. Hey, man. They're brothers.
Starting point is 00:49:20 No, we're not. Hey, Steve. We're simply not. Oh. We're exes. We don't have time for the lore of this, unfortunately. Her,
Starting point is 00:49:33 what did I say right before this? She remembered that she was something, right? her dad started while she was falling her dad started calling and reminded her and said yeah and something
Starting point is 00:49:46 and said that sure said something fly sky oh um um she couldn't fly and she's gonna die
Starting point is 00:49:58 but that's dark so how it was a better way of saying that we're back from break and they gave me 40 minutes can't watch can I do Limerick Can you?
Starting point is 00:50:11 Wait Hold on Is that Are we over? Did she get the points? She's slowing down Like the computer in 2001 What is that?
Starting point is 00:50:21 Wait a second Wait a fucking second She's falling down like the computer At least I tried At least I tried You buzzed in You buzzed in You went
Starting point is 00:50:30 JPC is that true Did you pause in For Aaron? I did I was throwing my voice Like a ventriloquist. He did my voice. I didn't pause in and I didn't even do that limerick.
Starting point is 00:50:42 That was JPC setting me up to look bad. I did. I'm sorry, Adel. I cannot tell you. You think I would make something up so stupid? No. All right, Aaron. All right.
Starting point is 00:50:51 All right, Aaron. Do the real one. Sorry that I fucked with your fake one. Do the real one. Well, before we get to that. There was a young girl who could fly. Mm-hmm. One day she jumped out of the sky.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Oh, no. Erin, that's the one I did. No, hold on. I've got it. repeating the one I did. Don't steal mine, Aaron. Do a real one that's an original. That's the rules that you agreed to, Erin. She sat down to have some good pie. Fly. Fly. He did. Hold on. She said that. Nice pie. Hold on. You guys, I know this is a disaster. Who sat down to have some nice pie. The J.P.C.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Bacie baked it. He'd only just faked it. It tasted so bad she did cry. Wow. Thank you. Are you trying to make me look insane? I can't even believe it. Aaron, you threw your voice.
Starting point is 00:51:57 That wasn't me. Oh, my God. No, Janet, that was so good. Janet, that was so good. God. I didn't even say it. Aaron for recognizing this was a disaster. I would like to do a.
Starting point is 00:52:12 The next Limerick one, please. Well, we do have to... Aaron, absolutely, but first we do have to dole out some punishments. Here on Jeopardy, we take things pretty seriously, as you can tell from the show so far. So since JPC threw his voice to try and make you look bad, Aaron, we are going to have Rat FK come back out. And JPC, you are going to receive one of Rat FK's medical treatments. Which of his medical treatments would you like to receive? Oh, I will take a lobotomy.
Starting point is 00:52:42 place. Okay. What is a lobotomy? For 600. All right. Ratf K. Do you want to go ahead and start some procedure? I would be my pleasure
Starting point is 00:52:54 to give me a lobotomy. Aaron threw my voice. Aaron threw my voice. She should get a lobotomy. Okay. We're going to pouries. You think I'm going to complain? Would love. Would love a lobotomy.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Where's the line? It's a lobotomy cue. Aaron, let's get back to your limerick. You said you want to do another one. Yes, I did. 600, 800 or 1,000 is still available. 600, please. For 600, limerick rolled.
Starting point is 00:53:24 There was an old man from Sedona. Puzz. JPC? We assume. Yes. This is the real JPC. What is there was an old man from Sedona who found he could suck his own bono. He.
Starting point is 00:53:42 I hate that. He's better at this than me. I hate that he's better than this. He pocketed his lips wrapped on to the tips. Oh, Jesus. And sucked until the cows came home up. JPC, Sedona was a city I used to love visiting. I'm getting in the lobotomy line.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Does anyone want me to pick anything up for them? Am I wrong? These are dirty librics, right? These are dirty limbricks versus those are doing filthy limbricks? The category is limerick rolled. Okay. But JPC, I'll give you a thousand for doing a stellar job. It's just a disgusting image I don't want associated with Sedona.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Okay. But you did a great job. I think I've learned my lesson. I'll take limb lick rolled for what are we up to? We have 800. The category sound dirty. Lim lick rolled. We have 800 and 1,000 still available.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Let's do 800, please. For 800, limb, Rick rolled. There once was a frog in a lake. Uh, Puzz. I want to pause in, but I'm scared.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Go ahead. No, do you want to? You can take it. I need you to take it. Okay. Midwest. Jeopardy. What is?
Starting point is 00:55:01 What is? Uh, there once was a frog in a lake who could give just as good as he could take. Oh, boy. He fucked other frogs. He fucked.
Starting point is 00:55:15 other hogs. Oh. And his thirst could not be saked. I don't think that's the word you're looking for. No, I don't think so. It's the word I was looking for. JPC, we're going to give you a hiter points for trying to keep it moderately clean.
Starting point is 00:55:34 You have control of the board. There wasn't a frog in a lay. I'll give him back. I wasn't doing that. So I'll have to get those back. He decided to attend his own wake. Nice. He faked his own death.
Starting point is 00:55:46 faked his last breath. Come on. Give me a second. But then none of his friends showed us. Aaron, no points for completing a limerick, but a hundred points for telling the saddest story ever told. That's a very sad tale.
Starting point is 00:56:13 It's like, it's like an unfinished business because you're expecting a rhyme, and then it's just like this gut punch of no rhyme. It's an artistic trurop punch. Can I tell you for sure? not expecting a rhyme. I just was not.
Starting point is 00:56:29 This is a limerick and vibes only. JPC, you maintain control of the board. Okay. Let's do lime Rick rolled for 1,000. For 1,000, and this is a hidden daily double. Whoa. So this is actually for, or wait, for daily double they choose so. So JPC, how much?
Starting point is 00:56:51 how many total points do you have? I have 4,800 right now. So you can wager up to 400 points. I will wager 4800 points. To make it a true daily double in Lime Rick rolled for a thousand. Okay. There once was a horse covered in piss.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Okay. A limerick made for JVZ. What is? There once was a horse covered in piss. His rider, a man. who was Swiss. Hmm. Uh,
Starting point is 00:57:28 those filthy perves, oh, what a nerve. To ride on a horse such as this. Wow. We're going to give it to you. That is 4,800. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:57:46 So that brings you up to 9,600 points. Wonderful job. Thank you. I could not have done that math. That would, that would be impossible for me. JPC you maintain control of the board And I would like to apologize to the Swiss I feel like I've been singling them out today I really pull them into this They are not the French
Starting point is 00:58:04 They are close but they are not the French And they do not deserve that Okay so we've got Triple Rhyme Time is done Before and After is done Ooh can we still do sex with me? What do we having sex with me is like? We have 600, 800,000
Starting point is 00:58:19 And because I thought it would be the topic that everybody pounced on I added a 1200, 1,400, 1,600, 1,800, 1,200, 2,200, and 2,200. Hell yeah. Wow. Let's do 600, please. Sex with me for 600.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Would you believe this is the other daily double? Oh, my God. This is very impressive to find them. This was pretty determined, so this is very impressive to find them back to back. Okay. It is the daily double for 600, but also maybe the toughest one of the category. Find them back to back is also pretty good for sex with me. for 600 sex with me is like the movie
Starting point is 00:58:56 Urkel Safe Santa Wow A movie I've never seen I'm glad I knew the category before I decided to Double I will not double anything for this Can I buzz in? Oh no it's a daily double so you can't Puzz in Yeah I guess oh please I didn't wager anything so
Starting point is 00:59:14 Feel free to Buzz in Buzz Aaron It's a delight when Janet Barney is there. There it is. There it is.
Starting point is 00:59:28 So we'll say since it was JPC's Daily Double, but you answered, we'll give you the 600 and not worry about the double. Yay! The movie's called Erkel. What is it called? Saves Santa. Erkel saves Santa. Puzz.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Oh, boy. Janet? Did I do that? Absolutely, 600. Oh, Puzz? J.P.C. Sex with me is like Urkel save Santa. It's best with a black nerd and a ho, ho, ho. Both of which are my wife.
Starting point is 01:00:05 And how much did you want to put on that? His whole reputation. Yeah, I'll put my reputation on the line. I'll put my reputation on the line. You got it? So double your reputation. Okay. Nothing plus nothing make nothing. JPC, you have control of the board? Let's do sex with me for 800. Sex with me for 800.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Sex with me is like Los Angeles or L.A. Okay. Puzz. Aaron? Sex with me is like L.A. It always surprises you how long it takes to get to the other side. Oh, boom. 800 to you, her?
Starting point is 01:00:45 Mm-hmm. Boom. J-B-C. You have control of the board? Yeah. I don't have a section of this for L.A. Aaron? Sex from me.
Starting point is 01:00:53 means like LA, um, everyone there is so desperate to be famous. A hundred to you, you are? Mm-hmm. Uh, you have control of the board.
Starting point is 01:01:03 What would you like to do? Um, I would like to do, are before and afters are done? Uh, before and after and triple rhyme time are both closed out. Um, so, uh,
Starting point is 01:01:17 let's do limerick rolled. I'm so sorry, limerick rolled is also closed. Oh, great. Let's do, um, We have two dark can't watch and first impressions. Can we do sex with me for a thousand?
Starting point is 01:01:28 Sex with me for a thousand. Sex with me is like the Odyssey. Pause. Pause. Aaron? Sex for me is like the Odyssey. Way too loud. Puzz.
Starting point is 01:01:43 A thousand to you. That was also Gemma's biggest complaint. JPC. Sex is me. Sex with me is like the Odyssey. It features a one-eyed cyclops. Oh my God. Double that.
Starting point is 01:01:56 Double that. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Oh, boy. JBC, since you had the last one, will give you control of the board.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Uh, let's, let's keep it going. Text with me, 1,200, please. Yep. Sex with me is like summer. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:02:18 Puzz. A pause. I heard Janet, I believe. Sex with me is like summer. Every year, it gets a little sweatier. Absolutely. 1200 to you, Janet. Puzz.
Starting point is 01:02:29 JBC. Sex with me is like summer. Over way too soon. Absolutely. 12 foot to you, JBC. Puzz. Aaron? Sex with me is like summer.
Starting point is 01:02:41 You always have like big plans to try something new, but you sort of just end up laying there. Oh, so good. 1200 to you? Puzz. Janet. Bernie.
Starting point is 01:02:51 Sex with me is like summer. What are all these kids doing out of school? 1200 to you? Uh, oh, uh, pause. JPC. Sex with me is like summer. Hope you like a dry rub. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:03:05 1,200 to you. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. JPC, you have control of the board? All right. Let's take a break from sex with me. Let's go to, do we have first impressions for 800? Uh, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Yes. First impressions for 800. JPC, this is. Oh, no, I forgot what this was. Fuck. Okay. Well, yeah. You did it be good at it.
Starting point is 01:03:30 I did it to myself. For 800, this is the movie Lord of the Rings, the role Gandalf. Okay. As portrayed by Jimmy Stewart. Jealous. Frodo, Frodo. You don't want to go to the minds of Moria, Frodo. It's nothing but the goblin corpses now there, Frodo.
Starting point is 01:03:54 You'd be much happier going with me. The Eagles, Frodo. Come with me to the mountain, Mr. Frodo. Spit it out, old man. Spit it out. God. You know, just for that, Eric Gord, you shall, you shall not pass. You hear me, Aaron Gordon, you shall not pass.
Starting point is 01:04:15 See, wonderful job. A hundred to you, JPC, and a hundred to Janet for assisting there. Aaron, did you, you said you were jealous. Did you want to take a stab at it? Oh, Frodo, I'm not trying to... Or Bilbo, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help you. I had so much fun.
Starting point is 01:04:36 I had so much fun. I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank everybody. I'd like to thank all the boys. Aaron had fun. I had a really good time. My Jimmy Stewart was more like, what if Jimmy Stewart was a horse and also can, though. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:52 There was a lot of, like... It was a lot of horse stuff. Winning, yeah. I never heard the horse take. And it almost started like Jennifer Coolidge because at first, the first couple sounds you made, I was like, this is Jennifer Coolidge to a T. I get into my Coolidge to get into my steward, to get into a horse to get into my get-up. My other coolidge is a horse. I believe JPC has control of the board.
Starting point is 01:05:21 And I believe we're just going to have one or two more left before we get into Final Jeopardy. Okay. And we have two more in first impressions, right? We have two more. Yep. Fuck it. Okay. Let's keep it rolling in first impressions. 800. 800. This is going to be, we're going to do Indiana Jones is the movie. The character is Indiana Jones. Sure.
Starting point is 01:05:46 And it's going to be Elvis Presley as Indiana Jones. Awesome. Oh, boy. Does everyone want it? No, you do it. Come on. Great. You got it. All right. Elvis Presley as Indy and the Jones.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Okay. What is? Oh, okay. Let me see here. I got a golden nautil in my hand and a back of sand. Oh, let me do a little switcheroo. Spit it out, old man. Hold on now, short round.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Yay. A hundred voiced of JPC, 100 points of Janet. Wonderful job. Actually, reverse that. Ater poised a jada, 100 point of Jee. Because he had to have a callback. Yeah. And we'll give Janet control the board for the last,
Starting point is 01:06:31 the last selection here on the board. We have sex with me as like. We have a few of those left. We have one last first impression. That's going to be for a thousand. And we have three, too dark can't watch. Too dark can't pick. Let's do first impressions for a thousand.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Okay. Good for you, Janet. To close out first impressions, this is going to be, The movie Dark Night, the role is Joker. Ooh. And famed actor Elizabeth Holmes will be playing the role of Joker. Do you remember Elizabeth Holt? Yeah, she wanted to fix blood in small.
Starting point is 01:07:15 She did, she did. As an added bonus, JPC, I would like you to join as Batman done by RFK. Jesus Christ, okay. Wait, what happens in the Dark Night? Or is it just any joke? I don't really remember that. It's like you want to see that pencil disappear? Yeah, there's a famous scene where Batman is interviewing the Joker.
Starting point is 01:07:39 There's pencil dis... It's the one with the Joker in it. Do you remember the Batman... I just feel like to be more than one. Janet, what's your favorite movie? What's my favorite movie? I don't know. Okay.
Starting point is 01:07:56 I've never seen it. I've never seen one. No, I'm going to do Joker in Dark Night. Dark Night rises? Yeah. Pins will disappear. There's the one where he breaks the pool stick and he throws it on the floor and he tells people, you know, is there only enough jobs for one of you? What else?
Starting point is 01:08:13 Janet, you're going to be doing Forrest Gump from the movie Forrest Gump as portrayed by Elizabeth Holmes. JBC, you'll make an appearance as Batman as played by our... This is Forrest Gump and Batman. Um, I think I figured out a way to cure my girlfriend's AIDS. Oh, Mary, do you want to see a pencil disappear? Oh. Why do you want to kill me? Why do you want to kill me, Joker?
Starting point is 01:08:50 I love you, Jenny. You're going to get through this. Seen? 10,000 boys for all three of you. By far the happiest I've been to this entire episode. And that brings us to final Jep Ritty. Of course, I've asked you all to keep track of your own tally. Yes.
Starting point is 01:09:09 This is the honor system. JPC, how many points do you have? I think I've been doing this right. I think I have 24,500 points. Okay. Janet, do you know how many points you have? I don't think it matters because I'm positive. I don't have 24,000 points.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Love that. Janet, you did just get 10,000 points. Well, I didn't, I don't think I had that many before that. Love that. Aaron Keefe. I think I have like, five. thousand something. I'm trying to do the math quick, but I'm somewhere in that range.
Starting point is 01:09:35 But you just got 10,000 points. I know, plus the bonus. Okay, okay. Whatever. I'm just saying before that moment. If everyone can put the amount of points they'd like to wager on Final Jeopardy in the chat. And sorry, put it in the chat box, but don't hit Enter. Got it. And then once I say you will all hit Enter at the same time, just so we keep that honest. Okay, I'm ready. I'm locked down.
Starting point is 01:09:57 Here is the final Jepp Ready question. When is Casey Tony's birthday? Your time starts now. And do we have to put that in the chat as well? No. Wait, were we supposed to put our wager number in there already? Oh, sorry. No.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Oh, sorry. I did not mean to send that. It's okay. I meant to sit there. But you have to walk in your wager before you. I didn't explain this terribly well. Let me know what everybody's ready to answer. I am ready to answer
Starting point is 01:10:33 Oh like should we be typing something Wait nope nope Verbal answer verbal answer Oh I see okay I'm confused Can I go? Pause Sorry this is we're just gonna go out of the light here
Starting point is 01:10:46 Oh Wait should I go first Because I feel like when I say it everyone else is It's June 13th I was gonna guess June 12th So I wouldn't have gotten it Okay And Janet what did you have?
Starting point is 01:11:02 Oh, I have a side bet with Casey where I give him half if I win, so I was going to guess June 13th. Okay. Casey, would you please come on the mic and tell us when your birthday is? My birthday is June 13th. Okay. I legit had it wrong. I thought it was the 12th. I'm an idiot.
Starting point is 01:11:23 That's incredibly close, though, Aaron. Well, you have the same birthday month as Adel, so that is an easy. Adel's first. Can I get some points for that? Extra to those points to JPC. Let's see what everybody majored here. Nope. 10th?
Starting point is 01:11:38 Yep. Okay. I do get that one wrong. Janet? Okay, here we go. I have no idea. This is going to be a blind guess. I do not know your birthday.
Starting point is 01:11:47 I'm going to guess you, Janet. Really think about my astrological side. That won't help me. May 9th. Whoa. February 16th. Fuck me. So close.
Starting point is 01:12:01 God damn it. So close. Janet. Yeah. Happy early birthday, of course. Thank you. Is there anything you'd like to plug or promote? Oh, I'd like to plug and promote Casey Tony's birthday.
Starting point is 01:12:15 I don't think enough people stay home from work to observe it. So I'd like to, if you need a cause to take to your local legislators, please take that. It should be a federal holiday. Absolutely love it. Aaron Keefe, anything to plug or promote? I've got nothing. Check out Magic Tavern. Check out gum, shoes, and dragons.
Starting point is 01:12:39 Check out our Patreon. We're having a lot of fun over there. Casey cut out, either I have nothing or the three things Aaron said. Dealers' choice? JBC. JBC, I think the plug and promote a review to read our review. Yeah, let's read a review. I haven't read one of these in a while.
Starting point is 01:12:56 This one was sent to us from Stobbert 87. Stobbert says the review is titled FART, five stars. Never mind. I, GPC, decided not to read a five-star review. Instead, I wanted to say something that's been on my mind recently. Fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, fart, and of course, fart. They got you good. That was like, had the complexity of a Christopher Nolan film.
Starting point is 01:13:21 It's been a minute since someone has gotten me like that in the five-star reviews. People just aren't doing that anymore. Good for you, Stobbert. Aaron, please take us out with a limerick, starting with the line, there once was a hay riddle review. There once was a hay riddle review. It might have been written by you. It complained about, okay, hold on, guys.
Starting point is 01:13:58 They complained about. And just the slowest fade here, Casey. No, no. It complained about something. Hot dogs. I was going to put hot dogs and then what did they start review? You should slow fade on this. We'll pick it up next episode.
Starting point is 01:14:19 I'll pick it up next episode. I'll have a whole thing right now. Hey there, Jeremy's Invalids. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. I have two new brackets for Adela and Aaron, plus a little bonus game. You can listen to that plus our entire Patreon catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your seven-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad-free episodes see you
Starting point is 01:15:18 there that was a head gum podcast hi i'm nicoor bye hi i'm sashir zameda and this is the podcast best friends head gum so this is just a podcast where we just talk yeah we're best friends we talk and then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. So audience anders can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our abilities. Yes. We are professional friends.
Starting point is 01:15:56 Subscribe to best friends on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week. I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You are. I'm really sorry. I felt the support.
Starting point is 01:16:16 I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. supportive. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now. It's a lot. I think you did good. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

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