Hey Riddle Riddle - #47: Pyramid-Life Crisis!

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast. What's up you Riddietz? It's Hey Riddler Rittle, I'm Adolfi. I'm JPC. And I'm Erin Keith. And boy oh boy are you Riddietz. Just for listening to this, for downloading this, for taking some friend's advice, like, hey, check out this show, it's pretty good. Boy, is there egg on your face?

Starting point is 00:00:52 Yeah, you're... And there's egg off your face. You're a bunch of puzzle... You're an open egg face sandwich. That's a bunch of... You dumbass rickets. Me? Nincompuzzles.

Starting point is 00:01:01 You're a bunch of nincompuzzles. Do you want to know an insult that someone said to me in my life that haunts me? Yeah, well, yeah, let's all guess. Uh, bird eyes. Bird eyes. Bird eyes twice. No, my sister.

Starting point is 00:01:16 You'll frog fruit. My sister Molly said Aaron can't eat eggs without it getting in her hair. Whenever she eats scrambled eggs, it always gets in her hair. She's such a mess. Oh, egg hair, Keith. I know. That sounds like a medieval, like, we now present to the court the egg hair. And then I fall down the stairs. Then you fall down the stairs and die. Egg hair, Keith, sounds like a drink that I would order without totally

Starting point is 00:01:38 understanding what it is. I'm like, I don't have an egg hair, Keith. I think has egg whites in it. It's $17. Must be worth it. This place is so nice. Do I have an egg hair key. I think it has egg white in it. It's $17. It must be worth it. This place is so nice. Do I have bird eyes? I said it twice. Technically everyone has bird eyes if they look like you. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:01:56 It's a compliment. Oh my God. Yeah, it's a compliment. It's a compliment. Yeah, you're ready. Birds have some of the best eyes. Yeah, so admit. You will have to admit.

Starting point is 00:02:03 You will have to. Eagle eye cherry. Uh-huh. Eve six.. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh You have that power. You really have been seeing a lot of dead birds around the Chicago. Yeah, I think I've seen four in the last week. And they're like, normally in the winter you see a bunch of dead pigeons because they like sit down and then they for use to death. They sit down? Yeah, they do. Do you think pigeons sit down? I'm figuring out pigeon like a little lawn chair, a little pigeon chair.

Starting point is 00:02:40 Do you think their knees bend and they put their butt down? Yeah, I think like they're yeah they fold in half Well, that's what's killing them Snapping their inner organs when pigeons land and then they can't find more than they die I was like when pigeons land princess first draft Maybe I have bird eyes But I've been seeing the little like songbirds. They're really, really small.

Starting point is 00:03:06 Just dead. Do you live by a songbird tree? Because in a change of season, all of the songbirds fall out of the tree. And that's what makes more songbird trees for future seasons. They're really little. I don't think that's true.

Starting point is 00:03:19 No, it's not. They're really little. And they're. Did you mean to say willy-wittles? They're willy-widdle. And they're, I've been seeing them close to like buildings and trees, so I think they may be falling out. I have not seen any dead birds lately,

Starting point is 00:03:32 and I know that I haven't seen any dead birds lately because I've been looking for them. I have them. I do. I collect them. When I'm walking, I'm looking for them because spaghetti will pick them up and put them in her mouth. And she doesn't want to do anything else,

Starting point is 00:03:44 but put it in her mouth. She can put them in her mouth. She doesn't want to do anything else, but put it in her mouth. She can put them in her mouth. She doesn't want to swallow it or chew it. She just wants to hold it there for a minute and taste it. And she's done that to a dead bird before and it's very gross when she does it.

Starting point is 00:03:55 I don't like that. Two things. One, have you seen the series Dark on Netflix? I haven't. No. Check out the series Dark from Germany. It's from Germany. Great.

Starting point is 00:04:04 Pennywise a clown from Germany. It's from Germany and it's also it's like a combination of lost and change or things but it's better than both. But it's one of the best series I've ever seen and so many of the episodes are just like them finding dead birds and it signifies, well I won't ruin it, but it signifies something. And then also did you know that everything is something. And then also did you know that there's a bird a little song bird I forget where it's maybe in Italy that you you like Pan roast and then you eat it you like cover your head with your napkin and then you eat it in one bite And it's like this forbidden I think this is a fraternity prank It's a for today. Well you put your thumb in the butt hole in front of you in the butt hole behind you and then you elephant walk. But it's like you're supposed to make cook this bird and you eat it in one bite and it's you bones in all

Starting point is 00:04:53 and it's supposed to be so sinfully good that you're supposed to hide your face from God and you do that by putting an napkin over your head. But that's a fun little one. Honestly, most of it. That's a fun little terrifying fact. Most of the wild fact most of the wild shit I meet in them hide my face We go when you eat when you eat ribs you put your neck and over your head, right? Because you're a vegetarian. I don't want God to know I'm putting mayonnaise on broccoli So there's definitely a napkin over my head. Sorry God Who's old man Puzzles Aaron I'm so glad you asked and I'm so glad it was slow

Starting point is 00:05:24 Because I heard it I'm old man so glad you asked and I'm so glad it was slow. Because I heard it. I'm Old Man Puzzles for this episode. And I think that I did this on a long, long, long way back time ago episode. So for new listeners or returning listeners, you're in for a treat, we're gonna do some warm-up puzzles that are jokes for kids.

Starting point is 00:05:41 Oh, boy. You know what, it's a joke for kids school. Well, that's the first one. Dane cooks school for jokes. Uh, is that old burn? Oh, yeah, Aaron, you're like school in Saturdays. No class. Oh, I think that's from Rudy.

Starting point is 00:05:59 Aaron, can I also tell you something? What? You got a Sunday school face and a Saturday night body. Boom! What does that mean? What does that mean? What? I don't even know where to begin with that, too.

Starting point is 00:06:12 Do you guys know the phrase? You got legs that make a cardinal kick in a stained glass window. I think you are. You are. Two pickles fell out of a jar on the floor. What did one say to the other? I'm a pickle and so were you. What's the deal? A little... A little as close as without going over to the other? I'm a pickle and so are you! What's the deal? A-A-L-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O- Why why Darren? Well, you know, you're like classic out. I got you. Yeah, classic. I just love how his name is Darren. Well, it was got fun

Starting point is 00:06:47 Nameless. All right one more, Edel. Tell me the whole joke again I was a lot of the charred of the floor. What a once-and-of-the-other you did not see how my wife I love her I guess that Adel was closest without going over the answer. Oh wait. I have one more got it If I could turn back Brian. There you go. Okay, fuck you That's what don't no don't fuck yeah, that's the last one Never touch upon man's radio deal with it is the answer so I said you were closest without going over it. What do I say during the same situation? Why would you say deal with it when they're both dying on the floor?

Starting point is 00:07:19 Maybe one was being like a I want to see you see great JPC and Aaron, you were two pickles. I thought you were. And you are, you didn't fall out of a jar, but you're both, you were in, you were in like a cave, like a fun little cave in like Kentucky. What? A pickle cave. No, it's not a pickle cave, it's a regular cave.

Starting point is 00:07:40 A good pickle. But you're in this cave because you saw, like you were driving on a road trip and you saw a fun little tours trap. It's Ruby Falls, which I believe is a Tennessee. There's a cave in. Now the two of you are left and the air is depleting. Okay, let's try to conserve oxygen as best we can. Well, I guess I shouldn't have asked you to do anything that would fucking benefit the two of us.

Starting point is 00:08:11 You're so petty. You had to pull off. And I had a dream, Darren. I had a dream that I would be eating next to a sandwich during someone's lunch break at a day that they really needed a sandwich like a Thursday or a Friday, delicious sandwich work. I wanted to be that pickle. And then you said, what's all that? I go, I wanted to go to Greece for a honeymoon.

Starting point is 00:08:34 You wanted to go to Greece for our honeymoon? You wanted to go to Greece for our honeymoon. You know what they do to pickles increase? I don't know, I wanted to meet an olive. Wait, why? Why did you want to meet an olive? On our honeymoon? Jill, why do you want to meet an olive Wait, what why why did you want to meet an olive on our honeymoon? Jill why do you want to meet an olive do I hear two pickles in there help? Yes help? Yes

Starting point is 00:08:52 Oh now's your time Tom. You got a really relish this moment Please pick us what pick us I'm just having fun catch up You didn't want to pick a pick up pick up pick up. No. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? I spotted... I could eat 101 more of those sandwiches. I'm not a very good Aaron.

Starting point is 00:09:19 I really enjoyed those Cruella Devil days. Hey, it's very good and Aaron's doing do you want puns right now, Adel? You sure you want to let this slide? No. You were both right, the first thing that you said was right, but fire truck maybe. Yes, but put that into a pun that has to do with eating maybe. Spot.

Starting point is 00:09:35 This is something that you would say after you have a big meal. What was it? What was the dumbest thing after what? After lunch. I really hit the spot. I really hit the spot. I really hit the spot.

Starting point is 00:09:44 Adel got it. I do like Aaron, I'm going to give you partial credit for. I really hit the spot. I really hit the spot. I really hit the spot. I do like Aaron, I'm gonna give you partial credit for I ate every last spot. I know it. I do wanna see a scene. Again. Again. Oh my goodness.

Starting point is 00:09:55 This is gonna be odd never. Oh sweet girl. I do declare. This will be a swan lumps. This will be old classic,umps. For that. J.P. Rittles. This will be old classic, old, classic J.P. Rittles. Old, classic J.P. Rittles. And J.P. Rittles, you are with your Aaron and I,

Starting point is 00:10:13 who are your niece and nephew, I think we've established. For sure. Halfheartedly. Yep. And you're going to be telling, you're tucking us in with a bedtime story that's kind of like 101 Dalmatians, but it's your own little twist. OK. When will our parents be home?

Starting point is 00:10:27 When is our mom and dad coming back? They went to Rome and they forgot to hire the babysitter. So they'll be back in a couple of weeks as soon as they're done with the little trip there to the Vatican and all of the Pope and all his castles. But you're stuck with old JP riddles. Well, they didn't hire babysitter meaning that they don't know that you're watching us No, I intercepted a phone call. They called a babysitter in service I've been putting flyers all around the neighborhood all of those flyers lead back to a phone number

Starting point is 00:10:52 That's a burn a phone and I squirrel took the burn a phone from me And they went up into a tree But I climbed that tree at nighttime a strangled that squirrel I eat his tail Men so I intercepted the call from your parents. I disguised my voice, all I missed is not fire. Oh, well, hello, I'd be happy to skate on a babysitter in the service for you way to go to Rome. And now here I am in the big house in a nice neighborhood eating peanut butter out of the jar, no spoons for old JP Riddle.

Starting point is 00:11:15 Hey, what if I you watch this, you're a beloved family member. Ah, but I ain't gonna take charity from nobody, okay? And now JP Riddle says, they're run at the house. And these are your dad's pants, and this is your mom's blouse. Oh, I'm gonna say. What's that? Now, don't call me, I'll call me JP Riddle. So you call me Dr. Riddle, is it?

Starting point is 00:11:31 Dr. Riddle, yes. Yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah. Why did you eat that squirrel tail if you were gonna come over here and eat peanut butter? Well, you know, the plans are planned and revenge is a different thing. So anyway,

Starting point is 00:11:41 JP Riddle. Climb up into the bed, okay? And I know that I pushed, I pushed, I pushed, I pushed the two sofas together and I call him that a bed because I'm taking all the beds and I have some work. Can you read us a story?

Starting point is 00:11:51 A little bed before. Yes, what do you want, little one? Are you wearing our moms perfume because it smells like it? I'm not wearing your mom from Fium, I drink your mom from Fium because I thought I was having a big glass of brandy. And J.P. just has that alcohol

Starting point is 00:12:02 and quite some time unless you count squirrel urine, which you can,'t just fuck you up pretty good. JP really the same as alcohol climb into bed now what do you want now? It looks like your hair is on fire recently. Okay well I did have to watch all of Mrs. Dowd fire and I tried to recreate a couple of scenes and I didn't let my hair on fire. You look more like fire marshal bill from in living color. Well it is right my brother is right. I don't know how you how you fucking make that reference. You're a little 13 year old Miss Breanna. Have a run a climb into the couch bed. You all along with JP.

Starting point is 00:12:30 Hold on. Now what do you want to do? I'll leave this day one more question from you. You've had the same piece of spinach in your teeth since I was born. Why don't you take it out? Now, I would love to take it out, but this piece of spinach was surgically inserted into my teeth by a doctor

Starting point is 00:12:45 It was his dying wish and I keep it here. I'm same common as my sister, but the fork in your neck Well JP riddles started watching Mrs. Dad fire, but Apparently I was watching the movie Frankenstein and I did a couple of things wrong and then about halfway to the movie I realized my mistake and started watching the right movie But it's not even two forks on each end it's one for all the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the way to the Swanlumps 22. Swanlumps 22, the man who made one coat out of one dog. Okay, so, oh, it's upon a time there was no Hermity man and he had a horrible shitty life and he lived out in the yard and he had no friends and no family. One day his no good brother and his beautiful wife went to Rome. Yes, he went to Rome on a vacation, old JP,

Starting point is 00:13:45 I mean, this man in the woods, snuck into the house and he found that there was a dog guarding the house and he made quick work of that dog and by that, I mean, he took about 45 minutes and let the dog bite him all over, but finally, he strangled that dog with the nose backster. Jesus, forget it, he has this back pocket and fight. And he cut the dog up and made a little back. Like a dog that we love that we rescued.

Starting point is 00:14:10 Back to gone. Okay, he went to Rome with your parents. See. God, I. JP Riddles is one of my favorite fictional characters in anything. JP Riddles. There were very top.

Starting point is 00:14:21 Yeah. JP Riddles has just me blacking out. He talks through you. Never stop talking and never listen. For people at home, J.P.C. puts his head on the table, closes his eyes and hold up a sock puppet. It's like a mccoly situation, mankind sort of a... He's not even moving his mouth.

Starting point is 00:14:37 The sounds actually come from the top. I do it all from the top of a steel cage. I'm ready for another joke. Why did I go? I love this one. Why did the kid cross the playground? Why did the kid cross the playground? Because he was...

Starting point is 00:14:53 No, he barring around. This is not a pun, it is not a joke. Oh, what? Partly anything. To get away from the white fan. No, Jesus, that's dark. He said it's not a joke. That'd be great to have on a kid's website.

Starting point is 00:15:04 Because his mom called him. To get to the mom called him to get to the other side. To get to the other slide. Oh, he said my job. No fair. OK, this one I'm going to do a slight little change up to. How does the mummy start a letter? How does the mummy start a letter? Mummy writing a letter.

Starting point is 00:15:22 Toilet paper. OK, Aaron? Yes. The first dead storep of the episode. Storep storep. What? John, dear John. Dear John, yeah. Which is like a toilet, so toilet paper, dear John.

Starting point is 00:15:33 Dear John, yeah, like a toilet. Like a toilet paper. Toilet paper? Yes, you're on the wrong track. You're both on the wrong track. It's, um, what's to it? Is that a what's up? What's to it?

Starting point is 00:15:42 Um, keep it to it. Yeah, keep it to it. You know, you start a letter with keep it to it. I usually say keep it to it. Aaron, dear mummy, very good. I would accept that as well. Mummy and daddy, if he's writing a letter to his mummy and his daddy.

Starting point is 00:15:53 But no, this is a mummy starting a letter. Here's what ice thinks. Okay, okay, that also works. That also works. I'm having a pyramid life crisis. There we go. Give it to him. That's something. This letter is not to be spoken. It's to be pyramid. Cairo no. So you would also start a letter this way if you were if you were writing a letter to someone

Starting point is 00:16:21 who to whom it may concern. It's just to make concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may. It's just to make concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern.

Starting point is 00:16:34 To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern.

Starting point is 00:16:42 To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. To whom it may concern. jokes for kids. Do it that would you will. I'd like to see a scene. I would love for you to see a scene. So, Adal, you are a British soldier in World War One and you're writing a letter to your loved your love back home and then JPC, you're the love back home and we're gonna hear your response. Gotcha. My dearest Veronica. To such a shame to have left you in the streets of London, I know that you are putting your candle out at night,

Starting point is 00:17:12 thinking of me and trusted I am doing the same here on the battlefield. Of course I'm here in Polynesia fighting the King's War, and I can't tell you how beautiful this land is, juxtaposed with how vicious and terrifying the fights and wars are. I can't wait to be back in your loving arms. I miss your bread pudding and your sticky toffee. Love, Chansey. Dearest Chansey, I was overjoyed to get your letter this past Wednesday past. Of course I skipped the dreadful parts about the bloody terrible war. Oh the king, the king!

Starting point is 00:17:51 How he sends you on this war. Oh, I did notice that you asked about my bread pudding, so please find him closed with this letter, the recipe to bread pudding. One loaf of bread. Two scoops of pudding. Blend. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve chilled with a nice glass of mold wine.

Starting point is 00:18:17 Veronica, come back to bed. Hmm, Drake. Drake, the love of my life, who makes my loin's burn. Oh Oh shit, I'm still writing. I'm not talking, I'm writing. Oh, dreadful Veronica, whatever will you do. Dearest Veronica, your last letter was not received as whatever the contents were were eaten by maggots in vermin. I trusted it was something special knowing you were giving me your kindest regards and warmest. Hey, Toddsy, come back to bed!

Starting point is 00:18:51 Drake. My love. You see? I'm seeing it. Started at the bottom now we're here. Drake. Okay, Drake, fuck everyone. Okay, ready? This is it.

Starting point is 00:19:03 This is it. This is for all the marbles. This is it. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2D tour. Is that right? That's right. Honestly, I- Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:19:13 Let me be honest. I have never heard that joke in my life, but my brain is broken. But I hit my head in such a way that now I'm good at just this one thing. A pun killed my dad and ever since then I vowed to learn every pun. A pun killed my dad. How? Just ask yourself, do you feel lucky?

Starting point is 00:19:35 Pun? Do you? That's when Adel goes and hunts down every pun that killed his dad. Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler. That's the name of the show. Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, Riddler, sexy. Okay, we are going back to a book that we've used before. This is a book of lateral thinking puzzles. So these are not gonna be riddles. These are gonna be lateral thinking puzzles.

Starting point is 00:20:11 So if one of us can't solve it, we can toss the ball to somebody else who can carry it to the end zone. Explain yourself. In the NFL, in football, there's a thing called a lateral where you can toss the ball to the side. Great, well that's great. That's just like I have in a fucking conversation

Starting point is 00:20:27 with my dad. Thanks a lot, Adolf. Wonderful. Love it when my dad explains football to me. He knows so much. Okay, is everybody ready? Yes. This, Errol is called Giving Kevin the Boot.

Starting point is 00:20:40 Aaron, close your eyes. She's in a second. Wait a minute. Hold on. Okay. Fuck this. I wanna go back and I. Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. Hold on. Okay. Fuck this. Hmm? I want to go back and I want to see a scene.

Starting point is 00:20:49 Okay. How did we not do this? I don't know. Okay. I think I was so happy I solved it that I glossed over what could be an amazing scene. What? Aaron. Yeah. You are R2D2, JPC or C3PO. Okay.

Starting point is 00:21:03 And the two of you are on a fucking road trip. We can't not see that. Sure. and I might chime in as BB8. Okay. Help! We crashed! Help us! And that's a day! Stop! Aaron, have you seen Star Wars? Yes I have! Let's keep going. Help us! No one can understand you R2.

Starting point is 00:21:21 I know that I can distinct... BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb with the cigarettes lighter. Right, but to be fair for the way, maybe to be poopy, burp, burp, burp. No. How many times do I have to tell you, Master R2? Never touch a bronze droid's radio. Right, but left, right, right, but half over, so burp, even a burp. All right, you're ready to get back on the road? Right, but maybe burp, burp, burp, burp, burp, burp. Ah, but the bullseye, three-po-ah, ah, ah, ah. Going somewhere.

Starting point is 00:22:04 It's BB-8. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ah, ah, going somewhere. It's BB-8. You're welcome. Oh, BB-2 hats. Actually, Erin, those were impressive RTD-2 sounds. Yeah, honestly. It sounded like an Ewok stuck inside RTD-2. Thanks. They're being facetious.

Starting point is 00:22:21 No, those were good sounds. Much better than my C3PO question. That was fun You're when you could talk but you guys What if I just you had a human voice this whole time if someone could go back into the Star Wars movies and every time R2D2 bleeps her bloops just put Aaron screaming help us. I would buy that movie for a hundred dollars Yeah, you'll get to burn all the copies. By George Lucas, he's very litigious. Okay, this is called Kevin, giving Kevin the boot.

Starting point is 00:22:51 It's called Kevin, giving Kevin the boot. Kevin was asleep when a boot crashed through his bedroom window, waking him up. Loud music came from the house next door, further irritating him. He jumped up, shook his fist at his neighbor's house, and shouted some obscenities towards it. It's 3 a.m. he yelled truthfully. If you don't turn that that racket now, I'm calling the cops.

Starting point is 00:23:11 The music persisted, and Kevin did his yet threatened and called the police. When they arrived, the officers refused to prosecute from the noise. Even though the officers don't prosecute, that's the DA's. Even though it was obviously excessively loud, after the police officers explained the facts to Wayne, he was happy, oh fuck me.

Starting point is 00:23:30 After the officers explained the facts to Kevin, he was happy to forgive not only the noise, but also the broken window. Explain. Oh, um, these are so kid jokes, so the guy lived in Bhutomore. You have to turn off that part of your brain, but... Bhutomore Maryland. He turned off that part of your brain, bud. Bhuttomore Maryland. He turned off that part of his brain,

Starting point is 00:23:47 and that was the whole big part left. Okay, let's see. The people next to our were cops. Oh, I know what it is. Actually, I know what this is. So, a boot came into his window. He called the cops. Could the answer possibly be he was in boot camp?

Starting point is 00:24:02 Oh, is the culprit with the boot? Was it like a horse and they can't prosecute a horse because horse law. You can't prosecute a horse. No. They're above the law. Yeah. They haven't seen this a go all two things above the law. Very tempted to go to riddle court, but I'm not going to. Well, you'd lose because they're above the law. Yeah, it's true. So boot comes into window. He calls the cops. The cops come say there's nothing we can do about it. The guy says that's cool. And they part ways. The music Kevin was asleep.

Starting point is 00:24:33 But a boot crashed through his bedroom window waking him up. Loud music came from the house next door further irritating. He jumped up shook his fists his neighbor's house and shouted for some absinities towards it. It's 3 a.m. Yield truthfully. If you don't turn that racket down, I'm calling the cops, the music persisted and Kevin did his ethernet and called the police when they arrived. The officers refused to prosecute for the noise,

Starting point is 00:24:52 even though it was obviously excessively loud, after the police officers explained the facts to Wayne, he was happy to forgive not only the noise, but also the broken window. And Wayne is Kevin. Fuck. Is it, is it, he lives in like a little shack next to the White House? It's a little old shack where we can.

Starting point is 00:25:07 It's a russet little shack. Get the, okay, so. Ten cups. Good. Somebody was breaking into the house next door. Their boot fell through his window and then they turned the music up so people wouldn't hear them robbing the house.

Starting point is 00:25:20 And then they were like, thank you for, thank you for calling us. You saved these people's house. Thank you. Cops. But saved these people's house. Thank you, cops. But Warren, that is so close, but it's a little bit. Cigar? Yes. Cigar or no cigar?

Starting point is 00:25:33 Steven Cigar. Whatever. Above the law. That's very close. It's a little bit wrong. He stopped the crime from happening. Kevin Dunn. He like, like some, the neighbors weren't home.

Starting point is 00:25:46 The neighbors something. Was it the guy saw that there was somebody breaking in and then when the cops said there's something we can do, the guy was like, fuck it, because they're assholes? No, Aaron's right in that there was a break-in at the house next door. Um, the part where you're incorrect is the rest of it I should say.

Starting point is 00:26:06 Is it, is it they can't prosecute because it was just a little kid controlling a cardboard cutouts on strings? Yeah, and kids are about the lot. Like see this is gone. Yeah, there is no jail for kids. Actually, jail for kids is actually homework. Oh, I'd like to see a see. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE.

Starting point is 00:26:26 I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE.

Starting point is 00:26:34 I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE.

Starting point is 00:26:42 I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I'm a CSE. I my god, I would kill for Southbury steak. Did you know that every day here? All we get is those juice barrels with the tin top was sometimes the tin falls into it and then also Pizza lunchables Pizza Lunchables are the worst kind. Yeah, but no matter what it's cold. Yeah, it's always cold But I curped stomp a guy and I got a bunch of candy cigarettes. Oh, that's good news. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:06 Um, look, uh... That kid had to go to the dentist. That's important. I mean, luckily, we'll kids their T-foil out. Yeah, and I don't have a lot of lower body strength. You don't? Five more minutes. Okay, sorry, the warden's really bustin' all of us.

Starting point is 00:27:22 So, he was a homework. He was a reading assignment. I got to do homework. I guess so. They told me I'm supposed to come here and bring you your homework assignments. What does it temporarily take to say? A fish? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:37 You big fish fan now? Yeah. Okay. That's a very adult prison thing to like. Honestly, I'm changed. Hey's, hey, can I see something? Anything. Is Megan seeing anyone? You mean Miss Markowitz?

Starting point is 00:27:54 Yeah, I get it. Is Megan Markowitz seeing anyone? I guess, oh, she's, she said she'd hold up for me. Oh, oh, I feel like I'm hearing stuff that I don't wanna hear. Cause I mean, I assume it's just her and her husband still. Anyway, she's teaching the class and-

Starting point is 00:28:15 He needs to go- One more minute. I'm a kid too. I thought you were a grown mouse. She's saying that. I'm a kid, not a grown mouse. That's clearly a grown mouse. Not a grown mouse. Keep saying that. I'm a kid, not a grown mouse. That's clearly a grown mouse. Not a grown mouse.

Starting point is 00:28:28 Why didn't see me jump? Sure. I get it. A grown mouse. I can't see. Kid, present. All kids should be in prison. OK, so I'm going to give it to you.

Starting point is 00:28:40 So here's the answer. So burglars had cut the neighbor's telephone wire and broken into their house. So they couldn't call the police. In self-defense, the neighbor barricaded themselves into an upstairs room and successfully provoked Wayne into calling the police by throwing the boot and playing the music.

Starting point is 00:28:57 Yep. The reason why they didn't prosecute obviously is because they came and arrested the people. And Wayne was a hero, even though... Love a clever clever clever. Wayne was a little bit of a crank. And Wayne grew up to be famous superhero, Wayne Knight. Yes, of the... Seinfeld Persuasion.

Starting point is 00:29:13 Persuasion. Persuasion. Adel? Real quick, this is a very small scene, but I want to see you. Solo scene. You are hosting... We'll see.

Starting point is 00:29:23 Yeah, we'll see. There might be like a funny doctor character. Funny robot who screams, help me. You are hosting a public access television show called The Sign Feld Persuasion. It airs directly after rerods of Sidefeld where you dissect the episodes. Welcome back, Santa Fe.

Starting point is 00:29:42 This is the Sign Feld Pers persuasion with Tom McEy. So we're gonna unpack this recent episode where you saw an episode called The Contest. So the premise of the contest is that everyone's gonna refrain from masturbating and they don't. They're all losing, they slammed down their money, which indicates that they did touch themselves in the privacy of their own home or at work and they did ejaculate or come. We're gonna take some calls from all you Santa Fe locals all you field heads out there. Yes, yes, sign, fiends. What do we got here? Some field fiends? No, as always, there are no calls. Oh, that's my emergency line. Hello? Help me! Help!

Starting point is 00:30:22 I gotta save this room. Let's see. The Seinfeld persuasion. Um, let's do what a Fabergette egg does when it falls off a shelf. What, take a quick break? Crack. Where you had it? Depreciating value. Let's real quick depreciate value.

Starting point is 00:30:41 Where you had it? Let's stop real quick and do a little crack. And we'll be right back with more baby da ba ba. Book it a befo. Rock, tape, beat, or hit, beat, or beat, or beat, or beat, or beat. Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, prank Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble.

Starting point is 00:31:05 I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online

Starting point is 00:31:26 Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand square space makes it easy to create a beautiful website It engaged with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, Otto come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products?

Starting point is 00:31:54 Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Starting point is 00:32:11 Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use Analytics. Use Insights to Grow My Business and learn where my site on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

Starting point is 00:32:35 The website was for. Prank. prank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Starting point is 00:32:59 Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse.

Starting point is 00:33:34 I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, it funny to think about something like that? They're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help?

Starting point is 00:33:50 Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Starting point is 00:34:04 Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow.

Starting point is 00:34:18 Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods Even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist

Starting point is 00:34:54 And you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron a GPC's putting down bread crumbs And then immediately picking them up and eating them Dirty bread crumbs immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty breadcrumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp.

Starting point is 00:35:10 Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the TTC. I am home.

Starting point is 00:35:31 Who are we? I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well.

Starting point is 00:36:00 Uh, um, rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean,

Starting point is 00:36:17 clean, sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rock and Money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rock and Money find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint.

Starting point is 00:36:30 Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Clint, you didn't click it. Over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used Rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets.

Starting point is 00:36:48 Stop, stop, stop, no, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney. com slash riddle. That's rocket money dot com slash riddle. Rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money. The website.

Starting point is 00:37:15 I love you. I get money. Clank, clank, clank. And we are back with more family style pasta. Who wants some tortellini hosted by Regis Filman? I'm back to who wants some tortellini? Hosted by Regis Filman. Hope I'm back to you. Who wants some tortellini? I like the phone and Italian friends. I'd like to remove 50% of the breadsticks from the table. Boy, Eric, do you want to do one're great. I'm hungry. For riddles. Wow.

Starting point is 00:37:46 This one's called racing. When you hear your puzzle. Thank you. This one's called racing the drawbridge. Park Street included a drawbridge over a river. As its warning lights flashed, Kevin proceeded toward the bridge. The barriers were lowered, blocking the road, Kevin ignored them. The drawbridge itself opened and Kevin gunned the motor and aimed right at it,

Starting point is 00:38:08 but there was no collision. Why not? Uh, Kevin on cocaine. Kevin on cocaine. Um, yeah, probably. Is that, are you locked in, Adel? Is that the final answer? You don't wish to give any more answers. There's no water in here.

Starting point is 00:38:23 If I'm wrong, I don't get totally. If you're wrong, you don't get d'artilini. So there's a drawbridge closing. Kevin's on a motorcycle? What would we say? Bad out of hell. He's a bad out of hell. Kevin is a bird.

Starting point is 00:38:37 To Kevin is a bird. A-hunt Earth. Park Street included a drawbridge of River as its warning lights flashed, kept and proceeded towards the bridge The barriers were lowered blocking the road Kevin ignored them the drop bridge itself opened and Kevin gunned the motor and aimed right at it But there was no collision

Starting point is 00:38:57 Kevin was in a boat Beneath the bridge, oh that tasty tasty That tasty I just drank contact solution And you did like it right Ew out of gross Simple context is a sponsor so Adam you're coughing a blood Aaron It's good. This is a sponsor. Thank you. Boshin law It's coming out of his eyes Uh, and I ate parathets under where that's good food sponsors. We love you. We love you sponsors. Thank you sponsors. Okay. I love you sponsors. So yes, we do.

Starting point is 00:39:37 We love you sponsors and we'll be true when you don't sponsor us. So set, we're blue, we love you, Sponsors. I have the right speed, wow, yeah. Please. I look way too intense in my hot dog. I got to be just me out with her bird eyes. That's really kitty. The really kitty really has sold out. I was saying good sponsor songs now.

Starting point is 00:40:04 Scared of her shadow is the title of this next riddle. All right, well, I thought we were done insulting me. Bye, bye, ready. Silly Susie, who lives in Florida, finds it particularly important. When she is driving and sees the shadow of her car to roll down her window.

Starting point is 00:40:22 Why? Can you read it again? Silly Susie, who lives in Florida, finds it particularly important when she is driving and sees the shadow of her car to roll down her window. Is the fact that she's silly, pertinent? I don't fucking know. She doesn't have air conditioning,

Starting point is 00:40:37 and when the sun's out, it gets too hot in her car. Aaron, why wouldn't someone have air conditioning? Because they live in Florida. Aaron, if you live in Florida, you'll legit someone have air conditioning? Because they live in Florida. Aaron, if you live in Florida, you need air conditioning. Well, your car's broken. She had it and then it broke. She had AC, but it was AC Slater. She was saved by the bell horn, honked the horn.

Starting point is 00:40:59 Kill me. Hold on, hold on. I have to call my friend of the paper and see if he can have this late notice, stop the presses Because Adel you got it exactly right You the answer was a bunch of random bullshit makes no fucking sense and Adel got it. You still got it. No, that is not the correct answer Um, when she sees her car's shadow. She she what was it rolls on her window?

Starting point is 00:41:23 Adel I'm so glad you asked Yeah silly Susie who lives in Florida finds it particularly important when she is driving and sees the shadow of her car to roll down her window. Why? Totally clips. The shadow of her car. Totally clips of the car. Is it because there's going to be a glare off the window or something? Hmm.

Starting point is 00:41:42 She has tin foil windows. Would you stupid mother fuckers like to hear some hints and clues? I have nothing. Yes, please daddy puzzles. You had me and I have been nothing. Yes. Can I get a please daddy puzzles from you?

Starting point is 00:41:55 Please daddy puzzles. I'm only doing it because I know you meant it. Okay, does the sunshine brightly in Florida? Yes. That's one of the clues. Fuck this book. Honestly, fuck you. Kind of sending us piece of lateral thinking shit. But at all, you can't fuck a book.

Starting point is 00:42:13 I learned that the hard way. Wait, a paperback. Shit. God damn it. You broke your dick. Where were you when I was breaking my dick, fucking hard back books? Right next to you. Right here's sleeping in a cot next to me. We both went to jail for riddles.

Starting point is 00:42:33 Is the reason for opening a car window concerned with controlling the temperature in the car? Aaron, you'll be happy to know that it is not. When the sun... Eck! Kathy! More no sun roll down. When the sun is shining brightly behind a car,

Starting point is 00:42:47 which is not the same as shining in a driver's eyes, is the potential danger because something- Mirror, mirror, the sun goes to the mirrors and then she can't see behind her, so she's rolled out her window and looked behind her. Do you want me to finish fucking reading the clue? I, I wanted to know- Light refracts.

Starting point is 00:43:01 I wanted you to know- Prison, child prison. When the sun is shining behind the car, which is not the same as shining in the driver's eyes, is the potential danger because something important I like refrax. I don't know if I wanted you to know. I'm clever. Prison. Child prison. When the sun is shining behind the car, which is not the same as shining in the driver's eyes, is their potential danger because something important cannot be seen? Yes. I think I nailed it.

Starting point is 00:43:12 That's the answer. And Aaron, can you give me your guess one more time? So when the sun shines behind her, it's in her mirrors and she can't see anything behind her. So she's to roll down her window, stick her head out the window and get to cap it. All her reddits here. Yeah. Spoiler alert. That and get the capriated. All herudid, Siri. Yeah. Spoiler alert.

Starting point is 00:43:27 That is not the answer. Oh, I said it was such confidence. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have been confident. Oh, same thing, but she doesn't get decapitated. She gets decapitated. She gets decapriated, which is when she... Lou Okinawda Capriate stands behind her own boat. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:43 That's awesome. That's fucking awesome. Getting decapriated. behind her on a boat. Uh, yeah. That's awesome. That's fucking awesome. Getting decapriated? Uh, it hurts. It hurts. Actually, I lost my fucking head. Getting decapriated is what happens when you get fucked by a poor person in an old car. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:43:55 He does that in that movie. It's a new car for the movie. It's an old car for us now. Yeah. Yeah. And if I were to be fucked into a car like that now, it'd be an old car. What's the oldest car you've ever fucked in? This is a different riddle.

Starting point is 00:44:11 It's a different podcast. One of those bicycles with a really big little friend. It's a different friend. It's a different friend. It's a different friend. She's like the village bicycle. Everybody gets a really big wheel. It's a very big wheel.

Starting point is 00:44:22 It's a very big wheel. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. That doesn't make any sense. No, no one's gotten the answer to this riddle right yet. And that makes me the host fucking pissed. You haven't right in front of you, my good man. Can we ask like some yesterday question? Yes, please, at this point.

Starting point is 00:44:39 Is this an annoying answer? Yeah. Is this an annoying sound? You want to go on, go on, go on, go on, go on. How about this? Hold on on my funs are getting pop of puzzles. 30 minutes in less if you get a puff of free. Better greens, better puzzles, pop puzzles, pop puzzles. Does it have to do with a certain time of day? I guess so yeah it's more and more to do with the fact that there is a

Starting point is 00:45:04 lot of sunlight coming that's hitting the back of the car. Is it because the woman, because silly Sally, it's like a ham and she'll cook if she doesn't roll down the windows because the way the light works? I can infer from this answer that yes she is a ham, but that's not gonna help you.

Starting point is 00:45:19 Great, and infer means. It's like a red. It's like a type of light. Do you want people to be there? I never heard of it. Is that infer, infer, light's like a type of light. Do you want people to wear a lipstick? Is that infrared? Infra-light? I'm sorry, Erin.

Starting point is 00:45:28 I was joking. Great, well I'm just here. I missed you, great joke. It wasn't a good joke. I want to hear the answer, I think I'm ready. No, I want one more hint. Okay. The car that she is driving is very old.

Starting point is 00:45:40 Oh, it's a Ford Model T. Mm-hmm. It's a Lipton Sun iced tea. Yeah, she's got the car in the back. I have Ford Model T. It's a Lipton Sun iced tea. Yeah, she's got the kind of rhodod back. I am the Model T Ford. May the trouble made the people want to go. It's an old car. Hey, Aaron, I'll think you're not

Starting point is 00:45:53 to sing musicals in my fucking podcast. It's the car. Yeah, I'm going to go back into my little kitty pool. That's a big car. I think it's my ducks and my boats. I think you get away. My ducks and my boats. When I'm not talking, I mean, my little kitty pull on the cord

Starting point is 00:46:06 or pull it off. It sucks, it sucks because I want people to support the Patreon. But so far, all Aaron has done with her share of the Patreon. Money is by little kitty pulls, fill in with crystal peps. You have a little, have a little duxed boats. It's just spends every episode of a little fucking kitty pull. And I come out of the twisty straws and just drinking it. The twisty straw is connected to a different kitty pool

Starting point is 00:46:27 that is full of Coke Zero. And you're asking how is she spending all that money on just those basics? Well, kitty pool, she spells it KITTY-Y. So there are 200 kitties drowning in crystal pesty. Drinking or are they drinking? No, they're dead.

Starting point is 00:46:43 They're dead. No one can drink crystal Pepsi. There's flies above the pool. I'll see. This is like a riddle. There's flies above a kitty pool. You said it's an old car, is it a horse? No.

Starting point is 00:46:55 It's a train. But a train car? I do kind of, fair is fair. I do kind of want to give you a dead stop for that old horse. Should be an old car as a new horse. No, actually Henry Ford said if I did what people wanted me to do, I would have invented a faster horse. But what I did was make a car,

Starting point is 00:47:13 which is better than a big fast horse. You get this horse in the vehicle you're like as long as it's brown. I don't know. Okay, so she drives an old car, and I will say that her tail light lenses Have not been cleaned from the inside in a long time. She need to put her hand out the window to gesture Which way she's turning?

Starting point is 00:47:32 Correct. So her She lives in Florida. There's sun shining on the back of the car and the tail light lenses haven't been Cleaned in a long time. So they're nearly impossible to see when there's a light From the sun hitting them. So instead she has to roll down her window and use hand signals to signal that she is breaking. I gotta see a scene. This is a scene set in the early 1900s. Aaron, you are a used car salesperson,

Starting point is 00:48:02 but of course it's the early 1900s. So there's limited options. JPC, you are in the market for an automobile. Okay. Ooh, honky, honky. I'm sorry. Hong Kong. Okay.

Starting point is 00:48:15 Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Look at this. I'll just, it's the early 1900s, so no one really knows what that means. Yes, honky, honky, indeed. that means yet, but yes hockey hockey indeed I You're making a hawk champ. I understand

Starting point is 00:48:28 Yes, and this hockey hockey would like to buy a user of a bill Well, I'll tell you about this one. Okay. Now. This is a user. This is a new a used animal bill So I'm not cool. No comes out the back The whole time sounds like my ex wife. Oh Just kidding. I'm married to my current wife divorces Well, it comes out the back. The whole time. Sounds like my ex-wife. Oh! Just kidding, I married to my current wife, divorces her. That's something that one would do with this.

Starting point is 00:48:50 We're really terrible to women. So, smoke comes out the back the whole time, but here's the thing, there's only one mile on this card. It's only on a mile, isn't that incredible? A mile? That's thousands of miles. I'm so sorry. To our people, we're so slow and stupid. I know, but it's to use cars You're gonna get where you're gonna get let me ask you where does the horse go

Starting point is 00:49:12 Well, this is not a riddle by the way something to the other end of the slide or something like that horse power But the horse doesn't go anywhere. I'm sorry. What do you mean that happens? Something have the power of a horse without the physical presence of a horse? You leave your horse alone You get into this you press this here we go get out of my horse and into my car Okay, I'm sorry excuse me. I'm the manager here honky honky. Is there a problem here? You honky? Okay, honky. No, there's no problem here. This you're a sales associate here is lying to me about the power of a horse being contained inside the engine of a car

Starting point is 00:49:50 Well, I can back them up and say that every car engine does Contain the power that's akin to that of several horses pulling it in a forward motion Well, akin to a horse. I don't know what's so sort of mule car. What's that sort of donkey car? In the morning, I make it waffles hockey hockey what is that reference to? I feel like I heard that before which is well what do they hear them in the world? why do we need to do it?

Starting point is 00:50:15 Shrek's idea, no idea what you're talking about what's up? what do we as two people that one who will get the commission from this and one who will not? what do we need to do to get you in this car? As a grease up the doors and push us on as you can! I'm a very rotten man!

Starting point is 00:50:32 That's physically how you'd get me in the car. But what do we need to do to make you want to be in this car to drive away from it, and then to give us money for it? Alright alright, so enough of this horse mucky. Give me brass tacks. How much is this car mucky give me brass tax. How much is this car going to set me back? $11. $11 are you mad?

Starting point is 00:50:50 $5, I'm $8. I'm in England, $8. I guess we could do $8 and in the future you would do us a solid a favor. Okay, $8 and a favor to be named later. Well my little boy will have to work extra hard in the salt mines, but $8. Yeah, my little boy will have to work extra hard in the salt mines. But, uh, he does...

Starting point is 00:51:06 Yeah, the famous American salt mines. By the...how ignorant? My little boy is Caribbean. Uh, hockey, hockey. He lives...he lives under the aisles. Uh, I never...the guff of you. You never. The insolence. Uh, but $8 seems like a fair price price. I will let's shake upon it here Here there Okay, and of course

Starting point is 00:51:27 Seven eight. Yeah to seal the deal you have to fuck me on this bike with one big wheel and one tiny wheel I would have driven Do I put customs deal and better way the village bicycle here we go? Yeah, that's the commission I get See Oh the old times. That's just how things work you You push a little wheel with a stick and then you fucking basically, fucking a bike. Hit us with another riddle. Hit us with another riddle.

Starting point is 00:51:51 Okay, you ready? It's this one's called the mirror. It's called the what? The mirror. The mirror. The mirror. Like you row boat with a mirror or? I don't know how I can explain this anymore clearly. It's spelled M-I-R-R- space-

Starting point is 00:52:05 capital-O-R. The mirror. The mirror. The mirror. I'm sorry that I fucking know how to pronounce words because I went to theater school. You're great at execution. Your enunciation is top of the class.

Starting point is 00:52:18 Elegution. I punched my sister's puppy because the puppy was upsetting. Puh. Puh. Ha-ha-ha. I love every time you do one of those, it's always something to do with your sister. K did just through in the towel. Through a towel on the ground and then they walked out. That means they quit, yes. Oh, thank you.

Starting point is 00:52:37 Thank you, old man, Adelaide, we're explaining it. Just for a context. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. For on the towel. A boxing day of the day after Christmas. Okay, this one's called boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term.

Starting point is 00:52:47 It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term.

Starting point is 00:52:55 It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term.

Starting point is 00:53:03 It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. It's a boxing term. I'm a feeling I'm a man in the mirror on the sale and I'm a I'm a deal. Is that it, dude? Is that it, dude? Is that it? I just, ayo, ayo. I can't say how pleased I am that every time Aaron sings, she knows one out of every five

Starting point is 00:53:16 lyrics to a song. DJ was still dancing. I love it. What song was that? That's a lady Gaga, sign my crazy. And that's a lady. And no, my name is on. I just don't know that song.

Starting point is 00:53:24 Oh, Eric, you're not crazy. Am I crazy? That's a Lady Gaga. And a no, my name is off. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song.

Starting point is 00:53:32 I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song.

Starting point is 00:53:40 I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don't know that song. I just don fucking movie that's sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

Starting point is 00:53:48 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm

Starting point is 00:54:03 sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I I was trying to sing Jane Seymour's song and Aaron was like you sound like Aaron Neville falling down the stairs Which I'll take as a compliment. We do it. Do him falling down the stairs. Here was me Here's me singing and then you said it sound like Aaron Neville falling down the stairs Here can help me help you can help me down And I wasn't wrong I guess Aaron Neville fell down the stairs didn't miss a stare I just Lullus Here every Stammer

Starting point is 00:54:29 Lullus I'm not I'm empty Um, what was your favorite song from six probably that one that one very emotional I also like the one I like the one that um Ann Blancings mm-hmm sorry not sorry sorry not sorry Hey, you fucking imbosols If I wanted to see the movie six I would go watch Brad Pitt and at and minus one Puzzles the puzzles show this person had a bad back. I can get to explain yes

Starting point is 00:54:58 Yeah, no way it's great. Do you have any guesses or do you want me to read some clothes? They're back was so bad. They had to they had to put on their bra by looking in a mirror in bed. They had to put on a bra? They had to look at a mirror to put on their bra because they couldn't reach around properly. I don't know. Bad back. I get it though.

Starting point is 00:55:19 Why would you? I honestly sometimes I feel like I put my shoulder out of its socket when I'm trying to class put my broad together That's because I'm a woman who's bad at being a person Oh, she just got a dress cut to a car door and truck the door and pull the dress up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha over the headboard of a bed, I will tell you right now that you will need clues for this, you will still not get this and it will make you mad. I would love some clues then. Okay, um, let's, hey, Aaron, let's give you some clues, huh? Okay.

Starting point is 00:56:14 Is the mirror where anyone could easily look directly into it? No. Hmm? Is it made from ordinary plate glass? No. Is it the only mirror that is mounted near the bed? No. Is this like a Cinderella situation or who?

Starting point is 00:56:33 Who had the mirror? Snow White? Are you talking about a mirror mirror on the wall? Yeah, I'm a doosa. I never do so have that mirror. I love to see. Yes, there is a mirror in Medusa. It's the shield that is a mirror.

Starting point is 00:56:43 I want to see a scene and Addle you're the princess of your choice and you're asking your magic mirror a question in JBC. You'll be playing the magic. Okay Magic mirror remind me which princess I am. Did a fucking bird just die? No, I thought I just heard a fucking bird die now a bird came to my window Michelle it was you singing okay call mirror you snooky little bitch Meera I love you my best friend and my comfort on Well, how can I help you Michelle mirror mirror on the wall hold on hold on I'm pouring wine Is that my wine?

Starting point is 00:57:25 Is this your wine do you pull that for the mirror? $600 bottle of Merlot. I did Well, what's yours is mine. What's mine's wine? How can I help you Michelle? I want to know who's the fairest of them all Hold on. I'm getting texted. This is Brittany. She's such a whore. What is she saying? She's saying she fucked She fucked she just fucked. She just fucked. She's saying she fucked. Well, that's Brittany won't text me back. That's what she's saying. Oh, that's just saying.

Starting point is 00:57:51 Oh, that's just saying. Interesting. What was you asking? You're asking for the Ferris of the Mall? Here's the Merit on the wall. Here's the Ferris of the Mall. Oh, boy, boy. I think I guess I'd have to say that I'm the Ferris of the Mall

Starting point is 00:58:04 because I'd have to be super fair to be able to Give as much fucking attention to you as you are requiring of me Where I should be splitting my time, you know in my own interests. So I'm probably the fairest one of them all Well, I'm sorry Michelle. Do you want you to be the fairest one of them all? Oh? I'm sorry Michelle is the fairest one of them all if by fairest one of them all I mean, I'm sorry. Michelle is the fairest one of them all. If by fairest one of them all, I mean, most likely to get fucked in the pig exhibit of a county fair. Because that's what you are, Michelle. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:58:33 Run a comb through your hair, sweetie. Okay. Maybe you'd actually pull out, hey, because that's what it looks like. Looks like a barrel of hay. I'm the princess that has all the hair. If you have to say- Pringled?

Starting point is 00:58:44 Yeah, Michelle. If you have to say- Pringled? Yeah, Michelle. If you have to say it, Michelle, it's not true. Okay? You're a stinky little mirror, bitch. I know. You know the one I found you, you were all rusted over. Sure.

Starting point is 00:58:55 And I polished you. For 10 years, I polished you and brought you back to life. Well, you're going to be polishing it for more than 10 years, honey, because if you think you're going to catch a mare with that rat trap, then... I'm talking about... Well, I'm polishing, yeah, I mean, like jerking it, I don't know. Mears don't have genitalia, so I was talking to... You two really captured how women talk to each other.

Starting point is 00:59:16 I was that woman. First of all, I was a gay man. And maybe look at yourself in a mirror Aaron damn Do you guys have any answers to this? I don't I mean you said we're not gonna get it if we do we're gonna be mad Is it something to do with like putting on some sort of medical brace or something? No, it is not about putting on a medical brace It's about like doing surgery No, it's nothing about doing surgery. Is the mirror made of diamonds?

Starting point is 00:59:48 Is it a stained glass? I think that the fact that the mirror's made of some other material is not useful at all to anyone. Can you tell us what the mirror's made of? Optical grade glass to prevent eye strain. Moof. Optical grade glass. Oh, they have to stare into a mirror to fall asleep.

Starting point is 01:00:03 It's kind of. They're vampire. They're vampire? They they yes. They have to check every morning. They are vampire. Oh they got it. Okay. Yes. I do believe it got it. No so um okay I'll just give you the answer because boy oh boy. This one. This one's my uncle Jeff, a real dick. No, I love my uncle Jeff. Is it one of the two, okay, it is one of two mirrors, both made of special optical grade glass to prevent eye strain.

Starting point is 01:00:35 The mirror that is not over the headboard is mounted on a flexible bracket near it. After adjusting the second mirror, one can lie on one's back, look into it and see the reflection from the second mirror, one can lie on one's back, look into it, and see the reflection from the first mirror by looking through two mirrors one sees an unreversed image. This arrangement is useful for someone with a bad back, which we said, who wants to lie in bed and watch TV, for one need not be propped up, but can lie truly flat. This is a special

Starting point is 01:01:09 double mirror arrangement so you can watch TV and bed. Oh God, double mirror. Double mirror. Adel, your pop culture references are on fucking porn. All right, so here's what we're gonna see. We're gonna see a quick scene. Adel, you are going to be taking a tour. Aaron, you're gonna be giving this tour.

Starting point is 01:01:31 This is a tour of Thomas Jefferson's house. Aaron, as part of this tour, you've just gone into Thomas Jefferson's bedroom where he has his special mirror situation in his bed. Adel, you're gonna be losing your mind for this. Okay. What's this over here? Well, we said-

Starting point is 01:01:48 What's this big thing made of oak? Sir, we're getting to it. Oh, damn! Darvys, that is bad! This is his bed. Is that- Is that what Cho-jay is bad? I call Thomas Jefferson, Cho-jay.

Starting point is 01:01:58 Well, then you must know what- Take her to the first line of time. Take her to the first line of time. Oh, he died. Anyone know what D.A. Thomas is bad? Halloween. No? No, no, no. I think you're a little confused. He said- He said. Oh, he died. Anyone know what T. Thomas said? Halloween. No. Oh, no, no.

Starting point is 01:02:06 I think you're a little confused. He said. Why another holiday though? He said never didn't have candy. And he died the same day as another president. President's day. It's an ironic day, the day he died. Oh, shit.

Starting point is 01:02:16 Is that a mayor? Is that so you could watch TV? No, that's what. I bet his favorite show is Jefferson's moving on up. They didn't have interestingly, interestingly. They didn't have TV in the 17 and 1800s. Hey, can I ask you something? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:30 No matter how fucking obnoxious I get, you talk real patient. Why so? Because I will say, Thomas Jefferson fans are usually the worst kind of people. So I've had a lot of fear. You have practice. A lot of, uh,

Starting point is 01:02:41 really, yeah, practice. Prazy people of practice makes perfect. Yeah. So do you know what day he died Bill? Presence say July 4th. Oh was it 100 days? Nope not July 4th the same day that John Adams died Correct. Oh the ghost I did to die on July 4th

Starting point is 01:02:59 Are you gonna answer Thomas Jefferson? My name's Pete I'm sorry Thomas Jefferson my name is Pete Pete the ghost oh Y'all did so well on those riddles that now I'm gonna reward you by giving you your own Individual time to plug anything that you would like to plug me do that I do want to bring out one thing what the fuck this is something I received in the mail and this is from Lauren McGregor with the last name McGregor. Where do we think Lauren's from Spain? space You're both wrong Australia

Starting point is 01:03:34 Lauren sent us a package What's inside here so we have Violent crumbles these are crumbles that are violent. We have a Caramello coales, two bags of those. We have some tim-tams, we can do some tim-tams slams, and also we found, and I snuck into this bag, this is my new favorite candy, it's called Cherry Ripe. And it's like, it's so good. Honestly, it's so fucking good. We'll all have to try some cherry ripe. Did she write any note or anything?

Starting point is 01:04:06 I just sent this a bag of fucking candy. And she did, I ate it. Oh! I can't believe she sent me caramel sauce. What's that? He's a paper that came out. Oh, she did write this in it. Can I have, hold on.

Starting point is 01:04:15 Can I have the caramel sauce? Hold on. Okay. You can have it if you read this letter in an Australian accent. I won't be able to do that. All right, we'll settle for Boston. So here's a sweet little,

Starting point is 01:04:23 and while Aaron preps for that, I do want to say we recently, depending on when this comes out, we recently, somewhat recently did a show in LA. And we, it was amazing. And everyone, we met afterwards was so, so kind and so gracious. And we got so many gifts. We got so much candy. We got cool. What, we met someone who worked for Double Dare. And we got double their shirts and towels.

Starting point is 01:04:44 We got, that's my Tuesday bitch hat. We got all kinds of fun. Well, what are stuff that we get? We got some, we got skittles. We got skittles. We got, we got, we got, we got, it went right into the fuck. Yeah, that one person just wanted you to kiss their baby and it shattered. Don't bring me a glass baby. I kiss and glass.

Starting point is 01:05:13 You're day from Melbourne. Hope you enjoy these Aussie treats. Thanks for all the red eyes and puzzies, Lauren. That was great. Oh, thank you so much, Lauren. We really appreciate all the- I'm gonna eat this caramel qualis, am I bad? What am I saying? We're gonna release a Patreon episode Lauren. That was great. Thank you so much, Lauren. We really appreciate all the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I'm gonna eat this caramel qualis, am I bad?

Starting point is 01:05:26 What I'm saying. We're gonna, we're gonna release a Patreon episode that's just us eating this candy. So, uh, so check that out. No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. And also, in 30, you do want to check out our Patreon. Uh, you can go to patreon.com slash, hey, Riddle Riddle.

Starting point is 01:05:38 Uh, it's only $5 a month and you get, uh, new episodes every single Friday. So you're basically doubling your dose of us three if that's what you want. Which why would anyone? If that's how you want to die. And our LA live show, which was phenomenal, such a great time. A good and a half. I was so nervous and ended up being so fun.

Starting point is 01:05:54 It was so great. And that's going to be released on our Patreon. It's probably on there right now. So if you want to hear that, all our live shows do go to Patreon. And please check that out. Also, I do want to mention that while we're in LA, we recorded on some other folks podcast that check those out

Starting point is 01:06:07 We were on if I were you with Jake and Amir so please listen to that very fun It's an advice podcast. I recommend you listen and there's such wonderful Host and we're so kind to us over the over the head good network Oh, they were great and also high in mighty which is John gave us this show We recorded an episode with him, which should be out now, we're coming soon. Also on the end, good, good, good, good work. Holy would nice.

Starting point is 01:06:30 Aaron, anything you want to prom out? Follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram, and I'll promote my shows there. I'm also on a team called WebBus, and we have a show every Thursday at 10 pm, and if you want free tickets to that, just message me. Yeah, and for me, you can follow my dumbass on Twitter at JP so far. Follow my dumbass on Instagram at Shark Parkman. And don't you do a show called Butt Mass? I do a show.

Starting point is 01:06:53 It's Sunday mornings at 10 a.m. and noon called Butt Mass. And I do a full Christian Catholic Mass out of my ass. I never wanted an epicent to do my ass. You do it in Kyrgyzstan? For sure, why not? Adel, let me do the plug. Please, sing this out. By the way, by the way, we were recording an episode of a,

Starting point is 01:07:14 if I were you with Jake and Amir, which was very fun. Adel set me up to say that I had some dumb bullshit podcast and a bunch of people, nice people, very nice people, messaged me on Twitter to be like, haven't tried fighting that podcast, the Adel bitch, and I had to explain kindly to these people and a bunch of people, nice people, very nice people, messaged me on Twitter to be like, hey, haven't you ever been to that podcast that Adelmitch and I had to explain kindly to these people that Adel is an asshole

Starting point is 01:07:31 and I was going along with this dumb bit. Which is why you can see me at church, I'm sorry. If you want to check out that podcast that I joked about being fake, but it's actually a real one. It's called From Woles to Woles. So check that out. You can find that on. Do not message me about that podcast.

Starting point is 01:07:44 You can find that on paper only. So search your local dumpsters for that. You can also check all three of us out at World News tonight, which is every Saturday at IOTD in Chicago at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. We've had an incredibly wonderfully long streak of fans visiting us every show for the last like eight months or something. So please don't let that streak die.

Starting point is 01:08:03 We're also show stops. Cassette last night, um, cassette from Les Misera. Yes, but she was also at a show last night. Um, I tried to say bye to her and I didn't really get to talk to her and then she walked away and I called her name and she didn't hear me. Cause that's exactly that's what I did. But I just felt really bad. And so I'm so sorry that I didn't get to talk to you more than I you walked with before I get to get by. Well, an air personal message. Aaron, I also heard last night overheard after the show. You were trying to call after somebody else and you kept screaming this name.

Starting point is 01:08:30 What was the name you kept screaming? Jupiter! Bye forever. This has been Hey, Rural Rural. Created by Adolf Refin. Sorry, Aaron G. And John Patrick Collins. Hey, this nightS. N.E.E.E. and it.

Starting point is 01:08:47 M.R.E. M.R.E. M.R.E. . M.R.E.. M.R.E. That was a hit gun podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle - #47: Pyramid-Life Crisis!

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