Hey Riddle Riddle - #54: A Star Is Wars! w/ Jeffrey Cranor

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast. No shit all sure like it's hey riddle rittle hollywood night How's hollywood night I'm'm Hollywood, I don't reply. I'm a Burbank JPC. I'm Beverly Hills air. Oh, I got Burbank. Oh, Culver City. I don't know all the areas. What's like this shitty part of town?

Starting point is 00:00:59 I don't know. Mark, what's the worst part of LA? Oh, I don't want to answer. Mark, diplomatic. She said Anaheim. You have to live here. But welcome to another episode that we are recording in Los Angeles, town, USA.

Starting point is 00:01:14 How's everybody doing? So I'm great. Still tall. Aaron, Aaron. Still taller than average. But before we bring in our wonderful guest, Aaron, can you, as we got here to the headgum studios, you told me a little story about you rented a car last night.

Starting point is 00:01:28 And can you tell the audience what happened when you rented that car? Okay, so it took me like 40 minutes to get from the airport to the rental car place. And then I was, I was left in line there. And so by the time I worked everything out, it was like 130 L.A. time, but I'm live in Chicago. So it was like 3.30, Chicago time. And I was like, you know what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to get a hotel and you're not supposed to drive

Starting point is 00:01:52 because it's too unsafe. Oh, sure. And I drove anyway. And I just screamed at myself the whole way being like, stay awake! And I kept slapping myself in the face and biting my- And you screamed to yourself if you die you deserved it?

Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah, I did. I was like, you know better than this. You know better than this. This is unsafe. But I made it. That's what I whispered to the guy on the flight right next to me before we took off. If you die you deserve that you deserve it.

Starting point is 00:02:15 He seemed nervous. And it was a four-year-old boy in music light. Took off his head, I was watching Paw Patrol. What? It's me. I know. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing friend, he doesn't know you too. No, the show is a friend of his. The show is a friend of his.

Starting point is 00:02:45 Yeah, a friend of the show is a friend of his. He's a listener. You might know him as one of the creators of Welcome to Night Fill. Within the wires, start with this podcast mastermind. Tycoon. Tycoon, what's up? Tycoon, let's scale it back. Pump the brakes, Jeffrey.

Starting point is 00:02:58 Sure. No, I think he was saying his next podcast. His called podcast I Coon. Oh, and he is wearing fake Xboxes on his cheek. On an old PC. What if there's a game called podcast I Co. Oh, and he is wearing black spots on his feet on an old PC. What if there's a game called podcast I could where you made your own podcast? I think that would be great life. It's roller coaster tycoon except it's a small room. He's actually injecting white people into the room like

Starting point is 00:03:16 plugging in different combinations of beards. Well, speaking of bearded white people, Jeffrey Rainer. Thank you so much for being on the show. Oh my God, it's great to be here. Thank you. What brings you to life? I was escaping upstate New York winter time. My favorite carousel movie.

Starting point is 00:03:34 Yeah. So much. We got into the president's daughter back. The, yeah, my wife and I both worked from home. And we were, my writing partner Joseph Fink and his wife came out here last year for a couple of months and we're like, oh, I didn't know you could do that. So we got a little Airbnb and came out here for two months over here through this weekend. Jeffrey, I'm sorry,

Starting point is 00:03:55 I hate to interrupt you, but you said my wife and Adel showed remarkable restraint in not doing a Borat voice. And Adel, I don't want you to put on airs just because we have a special guest here in the studio I think it's it who's the show? Take off your top hat and that silly monocle and get real again when I sleep it's like What's the what is because it's May right now at time of recording? Why don't you look at your watch? I told you earlier You said when I work like reference months, I look at my watch for whatever reason. But whenever this comes out, like, you know, June or space or whatever,

Starting point is 00:04:31 it's May right now. What is the weather that you're escaping from in Upset, New York or now? Right now it's actually I think warmer than it is here. Okay, so that's exciting. And what's the worst area of upstate New York? What's the... Utica. I've been there.

Starting point is 00:04:45 You know. We... Salt Lake City. Yeah, I understand. I understand. Yeah, it's a... You know, the... You know, you guys are in Chicago.

Starting point is 00:04:54 Like the winners are brutal. They're tough. But I feel like the hard part is not like the zero degree day. Although Chicago had a really bad one this year. Yeah. But it's... Or the snow. It's the... From like January 15th until about April 30th,

Starting point is 00:05:08 it is just 30 degrees every single day. And overcast and it's really bad. It's the grayness of all. For Chicago, it's like the mental terrorism of it, where it's like, we dipped in the spring, and then like two weeks ago, or a week and a half ago, we had snow again. And it's like, no, it's spring.

Starting point is 00:05:22 It's like April 24th, something. It'll be like 70 degrees in two. Why is it snowing? Yeah. So it's's like, no, it's spring. It's like April 24th or something. It'll be like 70 degrees, it's like 20 degrees. It's like, yeah. So it's almost like your body, your brain is tricked into being like relief, and then it snows again. And you're like, this is, here's my pitch. I can't take it anymore.

Starting point is 00:05:33 Here's your pitch. We take Christmas and we're in New Year's and we just move them back two months. So we celebrate Christmas. I heard you say this three times. Christmas in February. New Year's is the end of February. That way you have.

Starting point is 00:05:43 When is Labor Day? What's that? No labor day no more labor? Arbor day are everyday is our everyday. We have a save the planet Englubble warming yeah, well, the Christmas like Christmas makes winter feel less scary So the Christmas season was like three months. Maybe would be okay because by the time Christmas is done You're like okay. I'm done with winter. It's it's December like December is just over Okay, and can you use winter. It's December, like December is just over. And can Jewish people still have popcorn? Jewish people could do whatever they want.

Starting point is 00:06:09 I'm not here to tell Jewish people what to do. Say anymore. Any more. Fool me once. Again, we did put out that statement. We do apologize to all of our listeners. And JPC will not be telling the Jewish people what to do anymore.

Starting point is 00:06:21 No, I've not heard your call. I'm not a bad advice. He won't tell you anything. I thought I could mose. My advice, bad advice, he won't tell you. I thought I could mose us you. I did a little desert for 40 years thing. I really apologize. And Jeffrey is walking out the door. Thank you so much for something.

Starting point is 00:06:31 Bye. We apologize. Jeffrey, what is your, I feel like I know we've done sleep no more together. Yes. Have we done the escape rooms together? We haven't done it in a escape room. What is your, do you like escape rooms?

Starting point is 00:06:42 What is your relationship with puzzles and riddles? Oh, and I know you're a big crossword, guys. So definitely talk about that. Oh, speaking of crosswords, I just, one of the things I did two things when we were in LA, I was like, I want to take up a new hobby. And one thing is I took a pottery class, which is very exciting.

Starting point is 00:06:57 I made some really shitty bowls. It could be very happy to know. Yeah, and I want to- That's an intro pottery class. Yep. Well, that's also what I forget. I'm gonna make a joke about the coach of the Bullsby. I forgot his name.

Starting point is 00:07:09 Oh, Papa Vitch. Papa Vitch. That's Papa Vitch. It's like an adult at a bowling alley. That's exactly what I should have been. I've been teaching myself Crossword Puzzle Designs. I've been making Crossword Puzzles and I just sent a bunch to the New York Times. We'll see if they go in.

Starting point is 00:07:24 Oh yeah. So that was really they will. Oh, yeah. So that was really fun. Congratulations. Thank you. What was the most surprising thing about learning the trick to this? Oh, it's really hard. It's amazing how much you get trapped in a corner.

Starting point is 00:07:35 You get up there and you're like, these are all common letters. I can do four by four by four and down and across. And then I could sit there for an hour and just work on basically like 16 squares. And I'm sure people who have been doing this for a while or masters at it and they can crank them out in a couple of hours. But, uh, yeah, that's been the real hard part of just the madden. But it is sort of like solving a puzzle, right? Like, in and of itself, like, making the puzzle is solving the puzzle. And then you do the thing where you're like, you're four letters and they begin

Starting point is 00:08:05 an end with an A and you're sort of trapped in that and you're like, oh no, I have to put Alan Alda. I just referenced that that most crossword puzzles have Alan Alda as a answer because of the four-letter A words. You know what I've also realized? It's like Arya Stark. It goes in a lot of crossword puzzles as well. Put Arya in there. Yeah, I mean, it's pop culture now. Yeah. But then you have the Y and then there's the end. That's at sex. Can I ask you a question? There's a lot of crossword puzzles as well. Put Arya in there. Yeah, I mean, it's pop culture now. Pop culture. But then you have the Y. And then there's the Y. Yeah, that's sucks.

Starting point is 00:08:27 Can I ask you a question? Because I love crosswords. I have the New York Times Crossword app on my phone. So I try to do the crossword every day. And I see that certain crosswords are by this person, by this person, by this person. What is the process for, can you just send the New York Times crosswords and be like, please use my crossword?

Starting point is 00:08:44 Yeah, they have a page on there that you can go to that'll tell you just sort of like, the parameters, like it has to have a minimum or a maximum number of clues, like you can't just have a whole grid full of like three letter words, because he ended up having like 100 clues on there. So you were like a minimum and maximum number of clues.

Starting point is 00:09:01 I was just hoping that there would be like 40, like words that are in your puzzle that you just didn't write clues for. minimum and maximum number of clues. I was just hoping that there would be like 40 words that are in your puzzle that you just didn't write clues for. I mean, hopefully people figure it out. They got all the other clues. They got all the downs. Why do they do to cross? That would be a bad ending.

Starting point is 00:09:14 Like to do a cross where they get to the across. Like if you start down and then, well, actually start across and you can get down. There's just no clues. Fuck. That's also how you dance, right? You start across and then you get down. If you're out of wedding. It's also how you dance, right? You start across and then you get down. If you're out of wedding.

Starting point is 00:09:26 It's also how I go to church. And you just send it to them. They have a thing of like format it exactly like this and send it in and there's a, you can get, you can download programs that will format it for you. That's cool. Wow. It's pretty easy.

Starting point is 00:09:40 How do I get my New Yorker captions submitted? Cause I have some real funny. I got a bunch of library books. How do I get these motherfuckers back? What I do is any New Yorker captions submitted. Because I have some real funny. I got a bunch of library books. How do I get these motherfuckers back? What I do is any New Yorker cartoon I see, I just caption it with Apple sauce question mark and I have not been published yet. When I was in high school, I submitted captions constantly and then I also tried to get on weight weight.

Starting point is 00:10:00 Don't tell me every weekend and I was like, I will be a successful high school student if I can get one of these things through and nothing ever wonder. So you weren't successful? Yeah, and I didn't have sex in high school either. So thanks so much for asking about that. I would write a letter to Santa Claus in high school every day. I have to be sexy. Asking for Santa's advice.

Starting point is 00:10:17 Telling me he's a fucking loser. Fuck me for Christmas Santa. Santa thing. All right, come on, this podcast is for kids exclusively for kids. So let's call that. And Jeffrey, is your streak still going? I had a streak last year of blue hair. Blue hair.

Starting point is 00:10:35 I was naked in the street. Yeah. You're naked here at the podcast. I'm assuming it's still going well. I, it was like 215 in a row on the, on the, uh, New York Times puzzle app. And then it got broken on a Monday, which is notoriously. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:54 Because I, uh, I started doing it. And then I got about halfway through and I was like, I'll pick it up later. And then I forgot. Oh. Is basically what happened? What does that do to your brain when you lose a streak like that because you just like fucking forgot it I was really annoyed because I was going to try it. I was going to try and do 365 days I just thought that would be really cool and I tweeted about it saying like this is a bummer it broke on a Monday Somebody tweeted back saying like my current streak is it I think he said something like 1,437

Starting point is 00:11:22 He was like I don't know what I would do if it broke. I was like, I feel like you would feel a weight lifted off of you. You don't you don't you don't see the sun again. Yeah. And you said that after that happened, you got a Garfield tattoo. Mm-hmm. Because you guys have a shared interest in hating Monday. It's lasagna. My apologies. We just both. Yeah. The Italian word for Monday is lasagna. I got a normal tattoo because I've never felt comfortable anyway Aaron got Aaron got a next to normal tattoo. He's a big Broadway head. Yeah, and I'm confused all the time. I don't get it Jeffrey, I believe you came in with some you crafted some puzzles for us. I crafted a pussy for you guys I love it

Starting point is 00:12:03 You kicked in the door and said, it's Pussytime motherfuckers. And we were all doing a podcast with a different guest. And we were like, eh, we had to get them to leave. What do we do? What do we do? It's my favorite line from Die Hard. Come to LA.

Starting point is 00:12:16 We're recording with Bruce with a moon. And we get to get out of here. Little on facts, Alan Rickman didn't start solving puzzles until his 44. Wow. Wow. 44. Wow. Wow. Wow. By the way, Aaron, people are going to be combing the feed for the Reese Withers.

Starting point is 00:12:31 Yeah, you're like, shoot! Where is it? I guess it's a Patreon. It's a Patreon. Yeah, it's a Patreon. It's a Patreon. It's a Patreon. It's awesome.

Starting point is 00:12:40 We very rarely do guests come with bringing their own type type of material. So we're very excited for that. Well, I thought I'd give it a go. I'm really, I've been under a lot of writing deadlines lately, so I've been using a lot of Fisorae online. And so I thought I'd play with a Fisorae game with you guys. I, since we're in LA, I thought I would make a movie quiz for you all. Okay. And so I'm gonna have you guys guess the name of these very popular well-known films. I didn't, I tried not to put anything super obscure in here, but I've replaced all the titles with synonyms for those titles. So for instance, I could say, here's something easy to start with,

Starting point is 00:13:21 I could say celebrity battles. Okay, and I just wanna say up top, I've only ever seen him around at 2 a.m. I'm not sure if that's gonna be a big issue for me. It's not for me. It's that because I know no better. So I'm gonna go ahead and say, we're out of two. Celebrity battles, something wars. Captain America Civil War. Star Wars. There you go. Star Wars.

Starting point is 00:13:41 Captain America Civil. Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. A Star is Wars Captain America Star Wars. Star Wars. Star Wars. A Star Wars. A Star Wars. A Bugs Wars. A Star Wars. A Star Wars.

Starting point is 00:13:50 Star Wars. Immediately, Aaron and Adelaide, I need to see a scene. So this is, this is, this is off the set of the movie, A Star Wars. You're going to be playing. You got to really enunciate that last word today. A Star is Wars. There you go.

Starting point is 00:14:04 You're going to be playing Adelaide, you're going to be playing at all you're going to be playing Bradley Cooper's character Aaron you are going to play Lady Gaga's character you are a emerging singer who Adel has discovered on the death star as the rebels are attacking the base tell me something why I don't know, I don't know that much. Damn, hey. You need more. What?

Starting point is 00:14:29 Damn, cannot tell you something. I know, I know, I know. You know what I'm good. Knock him back. Hey, I just want to say that for Stormtrooper, you have the most beautiful voice. I know, I know, I know, I know. Excuse me, I don't mean I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Starting point is 00:14:46 I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Starting point is 00:14:54 I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Starting point is 00:15:02 I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. That doing that scene was like playing Frogger where it's like looking for my opening and just getting run over by I Looked Aaron dead the eyes to try make eye contact and figure out when my opening was and then she just launched into singing One of my favorite things about Aaron is she loves loves loves music and apparently knows none of the words I don't who knows the words to that song she feels the song She's a memorizing

Starting point is 00:15:22 Jeff will let's get into these Puzzies and Ridies. All right. So let's make with the Ridies fast fast fast fast. Yeah. I'm going to start singing. Three. Two. All right, let's go with this one. Okay. Speedy people, angry ones as well.

Starting point is 00:15:40 Speedy people. Fast, too fast. Oh, fast and furious. Fast and furious. So he had drift. Too fast, too fast. Oh, oh Furious best in the furious. He had drift. Oh Punching society Oh Congratulations Aaron you were the third to get it I want to see a quick scene

Starting point is 00:16:02 JPC you are a member of high society. And you have created this underground cult called Punching Society. It's very much like Fight Club, but it's for the wealthy only. So you're gonna lay out, and the three of us, Jeffrey Ernen and I are all new recruits, and you're gonna lay out the rules for Punching Society. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t to mulchewis a number of affairs of punching society.

Starting point is 00:16:45 Are we having affairs? No, yeah, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, number one, if you want to punch a member of punching society, you must write a letter to their lawyer first. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick Hello! What if the person you want to punch, she is your lawyer? Oh yes, well that is a lawyer's conundrum. Which brings her to put your helmet back on. You don't want to get punched. That brings us to real number two. If the person you want to punch is a lawyer, you must ask one of their best friends from high school. Yes, yes, yes.

Starting point is 00:17:43 Can I put forward the quandary? Put for, put for. Is it? My younger brother here, the Reginald, his arm is a bit atrophied and Reginald, you have a bit of trouble punching. I have a short reach out. Oh, boy, he billed. I just want to tear Reginald apart.

Starting point is 00:18:01 Where? And just go for the weakest one. My old means, but please, stuff. please stop composing a letter to his lawyer Okay, you had a question. Yeah, like I was saying my brother Reginald in the dark if you see a shadow he looks like the draw strings on sweatpants Which is to say that one is what the fuck are sweatpants? No idea what you're talking about Did you get up? I'm a poor. Get out! Send the snakes out through!

Starting point is 00:18:27 Yes, and I push the button to the snakes come and yes, there's wriggling all over you. You can't, they're drenched in snakes. See. We gotta return to that. We know, you can tell that we all know what it's like to have money. So, what- What are we doing? Just-

Starting point is 00:18:42 Every one of us is doing just- Yeah. Anytime I visit a rich friend's house, I'm like, where are your snakes? Hey man, where are your snakes? Where are the snakes you dump on porn motherfuckers like me? It's like one of those balloon things at like proms and elections, but it just snakes. Balloon drop? Yeah, balloon drop. I don't know words. Proms and electors. Snake drop of New Year's. All right. Thank you so much.

Starting point is 00:18:55 Let's do another one. Shall we? Shall we? Let's do this one. Everything you need to know is what you need to know. You need to know what you need to know. You need to know what you need to know. You need to right. Thank you so much. Yes. Let's do another one. Let's, uh, shall we? We shall. Let's do this one. Um, everything you need to know regarding the first woman.

Starting point is 00:19:12 All about a awesome. Wow. That's awesome. That was very good. I know it also could have been all about Jackie O'Necess, but I went with, uh, I guess at the time she was Jackie Kennedy. I don't know all about Eve. What is that? All about Eve is about, I confused that one in Sunset Boulevard a lot. I think they were nominated in the same year. I haven't seen all about Eve. I should have seen all about Eve, but I have not. I feel like is it about like a movie actress

Starting point is 00:19:37 being phased out or something? I want to see a scene. Adel, you are about to go up in front of two movie execs and you have a title, but you're panicking and you're just gonna make up the plot of what you think all about it. It's gonna be about our Jeffrey and other movies. Yeah, you're the movie. I gotta say it's such a pleasure to meet the... Oh, is this the MTV game show next? No, I'm sorry. You're the next one, but traditionally you wait until I say next before you come up. That was a power move on my part. Yeah, I gotta say it's such an honor to meet the one of brothers

Starting point is 00:20:09 What can I get you first name? Waco? Dave We call we call a dot for short How is dot short for Dave? All right, let's pitch me motherfucker. Press me. So I had this movie all about you. Is that love it? So it's called all about you. And I'm looking for investors.

Starting point is 00:20:31 This is, Hollywood's kind of like a shark tank, right? Sure. OK. Absolutely. If you're a pitchfails, you go in the shark tank. We have a little lever here that we must, because we're rich, and it drops you into a pit of snakes, which then drops you into a pit of sharks. Oh, I'd have to be sharks.

Starting point is 00:20:46 I'm looking at you so far. Oh, thank you so much. Dave, thank you. I'm looking for $50,000 of investment. Gotcha. That's wacko money to me. Okay. I make that much money wackoing off. And you're eating a lot of mole. So you might say that you're Welcome, mole You're a smart guy you're funny guy you tough guy. I was part of the lampoon at Harvard I went to school in Boston. Well, then there's no reason for us to continue this you have a job for the next 50 years Thank you so much. Welcome to Hollywood Is that is that Diane Keaton? Is that Diane Keaton? Yes, we have Diane Keaton.

Starting point is 00:21:28 We dropped her into the snake pit about a half an hour ago. The snake pit. That's the last time I'll do that. Big winger. I don't want to do that anymore. I love Yacco yakowack of Dave Aaron's like please don't make me say oh my goodness gracious. I would hate if someone drinks me out to do that again. No, I can't. Uh, let's go with Mr. Weird Efection PhD

Starting point is 00:22:00 Dr. Strange love. Oh It seems like Aaron got that one. Yeah, good job. But she's a big Benedict Cumberbatch fan, so famously in Dr. Strange love. Yes. Mind pales. I do find him very sexy. He writes that torpedo all the way to the ground.

Starting point is 00:22:17 I can have a question. And nobody probably knows this. Is the guy, Slim Pickens, is the guy who writes the bomb down? Right. Is that that guy's real name? or was that his character name was that like a stage name he was that was he's I believe a was a singer like folks slim pickens yeah okay and yeah that was at least a stage name I don't know if that's his real name are you positive that a baby was born and they

Starting point is 00:22:40 named that baby slim pickens I don't know yeah I must I mean it's I gotta be a stage stranger things have happened yeah we'll watch the stranger thing season and they named that baby slim pickens. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it's, I gotta be a statement. We're just stranger things have happened. Yeah, we'll watch the stranger thing season one at all. You don't have to keep reminding us that it happened. I want to see a short scene, Jeffrey and JPC. Okay. You just had a baby and you're spitballing, it's an e-taboy.

Starting point is 00:22:57 You're spitballing names and you just can't quite settle on one. I really like Wacko. Yeah, I don't want to. It was my grandchild. I'm gonna say maybe after your grandpa, especially he was a powerful movie executive. Well, yes, but Greenlit all about Eve. I understand that, but also there's the rumors

Starting point is 00:23:15 that he was a former Nazi. And so I just, I want to get away from that. And also like, I kind of want to pick a name that's like more gender neutral than wacko Dave I love that too. You know, I'm a Davis on the table But folks I'm so sorry congratulations again I do need to let you know that's here at the hospital. We do have a shot clock

Starting point is 00:23:36 So you have 24 seconds left 24 seconds to name the baby or you have two time out But know that during a time out, Erin will sing. That's our nurse, Kertegger, Erin. So you have 24 seconds to name that baby. I was almost done Broadway and then I fell down the stairs. I'll take a time in. I'll take a time in. I'll take a time in.

Starting point is 00:23:57 Time in is fine. What about something gender neutral like printer paper or website? I really like website. I love website. I love website. Okay. I had a college professor named Dr. WebSite. A Dr. WebSite got me through most of college. Okay.

Starting point is 00:24:16 Excuse me, sir. I know that you're just the, a Colonel Sanders. What did you look at? Yes. Dr. Colonel Sanders. Dr. Colonel Sanders. Dr. Colonel, do you have a first name? Yes MD

Starting point is 00:24:28 What does that stand for most delicious? What's up? I love I say that what have these stands for then Aaron says Maryland I just couldn't think in my head. I was like isn't that a state and then I remembered yeah the state of Maryland Remember that famous actress Maryland Not as sexy Some like it hot. I would love it if Maryland like put out their new spokesperson, which was Maryland Monroe Yeah, it's just the shape of the state and address

Starting point is 00:24:59 It's a bullet clam chowder on an event. I had almost fell over Erad almost fell over because she was imagining the dress blowing up for parallel to the mirror. That's so funny. I'm not crazy. You're all crazy. That was so funny. Someone draw it. Jeffrey, a big part of this podcast is us convincing ourselves

Starting point is 00:25:16 that we're not completely insane. And that we're funny. Somebody draw at whatever state they think we look the sexiest in a Maryland country. Oh, Florida. Florida? Big, droopy dick. No. that's my favorite looney tune going down Oh droopy dick Idaho I

Starting point is 00:25:33 Let's get you a slender neck I feel like Nevada has a nice V Yeah, um-hmm. Nevada, Nevada. Nevada, Nevada. I don't want to defact. Yeah, for moms. For moms? For moms.

Starting point is 00:25:48 For moms. Oh, Vermont. Kentucky, Kentucky kind of laying down doing like, I can't, I can't think of some of the words on Tuscany. That actually looks like Western Virginia. Or like, Massachusetts, like with the little kid, with the little kid, God. Working as a hat.

Starting point is 00:26:02 Baby, I love a kid. Give me a little more little Kipkaw! What do you think the most fuckable state is? What's that state that has that big sinkhole? The Grand Canyon? You talk? Yeah. That's a big sinkhole!

Starting point is 00:26:21 You just the most fuckable state! Mars, what's the most fuckable part of LA? Santa Monica. Okay good answer good answer. See, Santa Monica. Also my favorite friend spinoff. We're Santa and Monica. Remember saying at that job at the mall.

Starting point is 00:26:41 Where she gets canonized. It read concurrent with Joey. They both made it four episodes. Yeah, they were canceled. I'd love to watch Santa Monica. Honestly, like Courtney Cox at this age in her career could do Santa Monica. Just an alt history version of the way that friends went.

Starting point is 00:27:00 I would like to see that. I think it'd be a hit. So Courtney Cox, we know you're eliciting. So you're tied to a chair being tortured by the spot guy. All right, I'll give you guys another one. Yes please. We deserve it. We're very good boys. Let's go with this one.

Starting point is 00:27:22 Baby sheep quiet, dude. Baby sheep quietude. Lamb. You, you, you, me. No, you and me into pre. What's the last word? Baby, baby sheep. And quietude.

Starting point is 00:27:35 And quietude. The sounds of the lambs. Silence of the lambs. That's nice. And then you got it exactly after me. But I did say lambs before you said lambs. That's true. I never said lambs. Did you say lambs? Check the tape. No. You had thebs before you said lambs. That's true. I never said lambs. What did you say lambs? Check the tape. No. You only said lambs. I want to see the

Starting point is 00:27:50 brief is this is going to be the briefest commercial. Aaron and Jeffrey, you two are farmers. You are making a public commercial for your farm, which advertises the quietest lambs for sale. So it's just a quick commercial. Do you have lambs that just won't shut up? Lambs that are all talk, talk, talk, talk, and telling you about their day in real time. Well, we have lambs here. We've put gags over their mouths.

Starting point is 00:28:20 This is my husband, and he loves when things are quiet. And the lambs are taken after him Honey tell my expense if he's quiet as lambs are Is this an episode of welcome to lambville? I feel like the next hit podcast is ASMR animals But tap my nails on this phone here in just a second. I have some of the longest. I have some of the most.

Starting point is 00:28:48 The enemy animals. Alphys is pregnant for two years. He lose can stick seven inches of their head into the ground at any time. That's not right. At any time? Yeah, at any time. Any ground. Only in the morning. Don't talk to me until I've had my ground. Jesus Christ.

Starting point is 00:29:09 It's a bad show. If you listen to it, it's a bad show. Late evening. Before, shower. Late evening. After midnight. After midnight. After midnight.

Starting point is 00:29:22 Midnight in Paris. Before evening. Late evening. After, after,'s your time? Midnight in Paris. Before evening. Late evening. After. After. Night court. It's late evening, right? Late evening. Late evening.

Starting point is 00:29:31 Oh, late evening. Dust. Well, that's still done. From dust. What did you say? Twilight. Oh, nice. Oh, nice.

Starting point is 00:29:39 Oh, I got to see a scene. Okay. Um, Adel. You are a very handsome teenage vampire. But give me a scene. I don't think you feel seen. I feel seen. You're a very handsome teenage vampire,

Starting point is 00:29:53 and you're walking into a new high school to start a fresh. And you're not buying it. You're seeing through the stuff. Gotcha. Gotcha. Hello there. Hello students. My name is Corey. Gotcha, gotcha Hello there, fellow students My name is Corey, Corey Blood

Starting point is 00:30:17 You name Corey Blood. My name is Corey Blood. Don't mind my fidget spinner water bottle flip dab You're new student here, Chris. I'm sorry. You're a new student I mean, new student and you're getting to know me. Yeah, that's what we're doing. We're talking right now. Good, good. Yeah, why are you so sparkly? Oh, I felt like I should dress up for the first day of school and I bought some Beth and Body Works lotion. Okay, can we be honest with you?

Starting point is 00:30:42 We see through this act. I'm sorry? We see through this act. What act are you talking? This is a werewolf school. Oh shit. Yeah Harry and I are both werewolves So your name is Harry and you're all werewolf a little on the nose coming from Corey blood Yeah, don't those don'ts if you live in a glass house house All this is a glass house and the sunlight is coming in right now. Oh shit. Yeah, but sunlight doesn't kill you correct No, it just like makes you spark makes me horny

Starting point is 00:31:11 That explains the sparkles. Oh Getting horny this is where wolf schools. So we're always horny. What's your name? My name is why are you looking through notes? Hold on hold on My name is tooth Why are you looking through notes? Hold on hold on My name is... Tooth... Dear...

Starting point is 00:31:27 Shirt Your name is Tooth Hairshoes Yeah, yeah, uh-uh, I'm a whale wolf as well It's German, yeah, it's German Okay Come from a family of German werewolves Well famously, martyrs were here Do you say wolf famously?

Starting point is 00:31:38 What's up? Did you say wolf famously? The... What's up? Right? You're saying to ask to name the most famous wolf. Yes, they would you pass the test. Yes Yeah, yeah Oh ten minutes late to class. Oh, no, where you need to be no the full moon

Starting point is 00:31:57 I'm like sexy vampire and Adela me. He was like whoa Would you like another bowl of chocolate? Chocolate. Sexy is subjective. Yes, that's my saying. I had that tattooed on my arm underneath that barbed wire. Sexy is subjective. Sexy is subjective. Sexy is subjective. I find the Boris Carl off sexy.

Starting point is 00:32:15 No, he was freeing inside. I would love to see. Bella Logosi. A cut of twilight that's just addled, dubbed over all of Edward's lines in that voice. Save dialogue, just that voice. Bella. Bella. Thank you. I want to fuck you, but I have a voice. Save dialogue, just that voice. Bella! Bella!

Starting point is 00:32:25 Thank you. They want to fuck you, but I'm a boy! I'm also a fuck. I also love how Jeffrey came in here, and we were like, you're fine with scenes, right? And then every riddle that he's done, we've been like, okay, no Jeffrey, we want to see a scene.

Starting point is 00:32:37 You're the scene, big man. One of the top podcasts, huh? Do another fucking scene. Let's do you and I'll spill you in a pirate. Work crabs in a bucket. Work drawing fucking scene. Let's do it on the spree. You're not spree. You're not spree. Work crabs in the bucket. Work drawing you down.

Starting point is 00:32:49 Let's see. Right your way out of this one. We want to see a scene in you of 15 minutes. So, um, absent alongside a high pressure air system. Absent. Oh, I'm a high pressure air system. Absent alongside a high pressure air system. Absent alongside a high pressure air system. My best friend's conditioner My best friends air conditioner. I got a win brand. I got a CSE

Starting point is 00:33:12 Let's just see you seen directly. We'll jump right into it. Adel Aaron. This is a scene from the movie my best friends air conditioner Can't believe you're getting married Yeah, him and I are very happy together. Summer, it's New York City. He keeps me cold. I keep him from falling out the window and killing people. What does it mean like, running up your electric bill? Like, you should be with me.

Starting point is 00:33:34 Maybe you should be with me. You've been my friend forever, and you're doing this now. I'm so sorry. I know you're walking down the aisle and I'm walking alongside of you, like but baby you gotta guess the thing. It's gonna be warm forever. I'll fan you off. We do a cut shot of the audience where it's the air conditioner's parents who are standing there in the pews, awaiting for the movie married. Jeffrey were gonna be playing the aircomers first pair. It's... BOOM! Hahaha!

Starting point is 00:34:07 See! And that was humans for boy and resburs? I thought they saw fall seed. Hahaha! Um, what was the clue again? Oh fuck, yeah, absent. Absent alongside a high pressure air system. Without?

Starting point is 00:34:23 Air can... Absent? Absent. Fan high-pressure air system without air can like an absent fan swim fan Absent alongside so what's the it's like opposite so what's the opposite of absence? It's not opposite synonyms fuck that's what you know what's Why are you eating a synonym in rural? I'm eating cinnamon toast crunch. Yes. Cinnamon toast crunch. Absent.

Starting point is 00:34:47 Absent. Gone. Gone girl. Gone. Gone. Gone girl. Damn, that's a good one. Damn, that's a good one.

Starting point is 00:34:55 That's a really good one. Yeah, that's the only good one. No. Okay, I went too far. I missed you at the room. I want to take that back. Frankly, my darling, I don't give a damn. I don't in the room. Whoa. I want to take that back. Frankly, my darling, I don't give a damn.

Starting point is 00:35:07 I don't give a blub. A few enjoy extreme warmth. Some? Some like a hot, there you go. Maryland Monroe. Maryland hot, hot clam chowder. Oh, gross. That could be the weirdest fan art we ever get

Starting point is 00:35:21 with all the state stress sexy. Oh, boy. Nice buds. Nice bud. Airbud. We never get the state's dress sexy Nice buds Airbud airbud something friend super high me nice Bugs Good friends horrible bosses Kind nice buds nice is it something friends? This is not. Okay.

Starting point is 00:35:47 Nice friends if you can give us. Is it pals? Something pals, nice buds, good pals. I could have probably gone with like nice bros as well. Nice bros. Nice bros. Oh, step brothers. Step brothers.

Starting point is 00:35:56 Nice bros. Nice bros. Nice pals. Indicating a gender there. A few good men. Oh, that's pretty good. That's not bad. Yeah, that's not bad. But it's, yeah, it would be Yeah, it would be like a several bros or something like that.

Starting point is 00:36:09 Nice bros. Where you're so close though in terms of the whipping you use there. Oh really? A few, a few, a few saving private Ryan. Okay, so which is one of the words that I use correct? Yes. Is it few? No. Is it feel?

Starting point is 00:36:25 No. Is it good? Good. Good guys. Finished last. Good one, Hunter. Good guys. And I, that's also good.

Starting point is 00:36:33 I don't know that movie. It's Will Ferrell, right? Yeah, that's the more wallpapers. I've never seen it. Neither, but. So except that. So one word movie title. Good fellows.

Starting point is 00:36:41 There you go. Go. Oh, nice. But that could have be on so many different directions. Those were all. Turns out movies is easy. Yeah. Movies is awesome. They have lots of good movies. Knife jogger. Blade Runner. That one's fun. Yeah. Knife jogger. That's also how the that's the black dolly killer. Knife jogger. Yeah, the Knife jogger. Okay, so Abel, I want to see a scene. You were going to be a police commissioner. We are all going to be police officers and you are going to be briefing us on catching the knife joker.

Starting point is 00:37:09 Okay, this is a killer at large. Have we caught them on St. Yet? Yeah, boss, have we caught them? Shouldn't we know? Everyone please have a seat. I am in charge. Commissioner Gordon speaking. There's only two chairs. Well, everyone can't have a seat. Whoever, whoever can't, what'd you say? I'll stand. Oh, look at the freaking daughter over here Walk in a monk us. We're in a hair shirt. All right now. I need to tell you about a killer that's making its mark on the scene

Starting point is 00:37:37 It's mark. I'm sorry. It's mark. We don't know. It's the gender of the person or the humor We don't know that it's a human, it could be a python. Could it be a predator? Well, we always catch a predator. Now, I fucking hate that I set you up. I lost all control of this room. Now, I need you to not laugh at the name we've given this killer. Now, you might find it funny, but there are the victim's families

Starting point is 00:38:00 are watching through this two-way mirror, so please don't, uh, don't laugh. Oh gosh, I'm so happy. The name's not too silly. Anormous pressure. The name we have is, uh, old stabby sweatpants. We know the killer who are sweatpants. We found the fibers of some, uh, some Wilson athletics, uh, pants. Famously if you name a killer, people care more and it gets the public's attention.

Starting point is 00:38:23 So about renaming it, but stabby sweatpants. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh. If you name a killer, people care more and it gets the public's attention. So I'll call for you in a minute, but stabby sweatpants. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, so it's O.L. apostrophe. Old stabby sweatpants. I had an O.L.E. in my head. I was thinking O.L.E. Who?

Starting point is 00:38:36 I like that better. Let's make it like a tap in my head. O.L.E. Like, yeah. What was it? O.L.E. Is there a little accent above the E? You're right.

Starting point is 00:38:43 Let's make it O.L.E. Stabby sweatpants. Can we use those? It's a little folksy and E? You're right. Let's make it O-L-A! Stabby swathans. Can we just- She's a little folksy and casual for someone who's killed. You said seven dozen people at least? Yes, I'm trying to support you, but I guess- Hey, no, just Officer Aaron. What number is seven dozen? Seven times two.

Starting point is 00:39:00 Seven times twelve. You think- Hold on. Hold on. Shut up! Everybody be quiet. I'm doing math in my hand. It's one of the best math cups we've got. Sometimes 12. You think? Hold on. Hold on. Shut up. Everybody be quiet. I'm doing math in my house. What are the best math cups we got? Seven dozen. A transfer from Boston. 72. What about a baker's dozen? Seven baker's dozen. If the baker's dozen, dozen, ten or eleven. What about cheaper by the dozen? That's Steve Martin and eleven and twelve kids. Name the kids. The brunette girl don't want it was on smallville gun badge Keep them wouldn't Wouldn't 72 be six dozen

Starting point is 00:39:30 I've had enough of you 72 times two time how many trombones in the music man? 76 and what is the name of the Philadelphia basketball team the 76 and when was the gold rush? 18 76 okay, and we just like let me me try and regulate it. We caught him. Good job, all of us amad. I got to keep my gun in my bed. That's so funny. Gun badge. Keep him. Good badge. Here's an upgrade. Bigger guns, smaller badge.

Starting point is 00:39:57 Now you can be more stealthy. It's stealth-cup. Let's do two more, then. We'll take a break. Yeah, let's do that. Let's go with this. The capital of Alaska spelled phonetically. Do you know? There you go. And let's close on this one. Please leave. There you go. Oh nice. Wow. Wow. Oh, and Wilson. Wow. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back with Martin Puzzies and Riddies with Jeffrey Granar.

Starting point is 00:40:35 Hey, GPC Yeah You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to I just need some advice this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all spaces to all at one website platform Entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it engaged with your audience,

Starting point is 00:41:10 and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money.

Starting point is 00:41:45 What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords or popular products and content on my prank website to prank the tool.

Starting point is 00:42:10 Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. With Squarespace.

Starting point is 00:42:20 You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

Starting point is 00:43:08 I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Starting point is 00:43:25 Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this?

Starting point is 00:43:39 You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Starting point is 00:44:01 Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

Starting point is 00:44:26 All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.

Starting point is 00:44:53 H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the HOME Who are we? I

Starting point is 00:45:18 clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to I know it JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

Starting point is 00:45:42 monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you.

Starting point is 00:46:04 It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, oh, Clint, Clint, Clint, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop,20 a year, we love rock and roll. Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today

Starting point is 00:46:33 and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you I'm getting worse. I'm gonna be male. Oh boy. We're going to do some Puzzies and Riddies. I'm gonna take on the mantle of Old Man Puzzies. This is the first time we've ever had an OMP like introduction halfway through the episode. Absolutely. Well, Jeffery wanted to solve some, wanted to be put in a hot seat. Now, now, now, that's not

Starting point is 00:47:23 what he said. What he said was I'm smarter than all of you motherfuckers. And I'll solve every riddle. And he broke a beer glass over his head. We really love to set up our guests for massive success. Here you go. Here's the first one. A man gets onto an elevator. When the elevator stops, he knows his wife is dead.

Starting point is 00:47:42 Hmm. She was under the elevator knows his wife is dead. She was under the elevator. His wife is at the elevator repair person. The elevator was under the elevator. I think I know the answer to this, so I'm going to brag about it. And. The elevator is to heaven. And his wife is dying.

Starting point is 00:48:00 Yeah, they updated, let's update their song. Kind of like the Smiths updated. Oh, thank God, yeah, I love it with's definitely update their song. Kind of like the Smiths updated. Oh, thank God, yeah. I love it when people update their song. Hey now, you're a cool guy. Hey now, you're a husband. Hey now, you're in the Pro Bowl. That's awesome.

Starting point is 00:48:21 They should make a bespoke version for every, like whatever sport calls the ass. I mean, what else are they doing? They're opening up Guy Fieri's team breaststroke at the Minnesota State Fair. Can I guess? Or should we wait for them to be there? I mean, that's the show, Aaron. That's a fucking show. I think that actually, Aaron, I think that since you know it, it's the cool move, the hostly move is to give Jeffrey a chance

Starting point is 00:48:47 to figure it out as well. Good point. She was under the elevator. Okay, Erin now after what I could only apologize for happened, I believe it's now time. And that's my favorite Dave Matthews B side is under the elevator and dying. How confident do you think you are in this answer? I'm like 70 no, I'm like 64% 69% confident is what you're looking for

Starting point is 00:49:10 There we go. Nice. Okay. Okay. Can you read it one more time at all a man gets on to an elevator when the elevator stops He knows his wife is dead Does the elevator do the elevator's doors open up to like a dead body of his wife? No, but that's a terrible guess I'm getting because I'm now I'm second Yes, let me give them one hand and then we can hear your guess. So The what type of building the elevator in it is in plays a huge part in this. Okay. Is it possible? It's a hospital Okay, so use that that logic to oh, okay, so I think I know it then. I think I know it. Let's hear Aaron let's have you have the first a seven it what have I told it totally

Starting point is 00:49:51 I'm so his wife is on life support and he's on the elevator and then it stops because the power goes out in the building What the fuck? Oh my god, she was under the elevator. I said Jeffrey. My guess was that they were like, oh, let's go see your wife. And then he gets in the elevator and the door's open. It's the morgue. Oh, yeah, that might be another thing, right? I was gonna guess that he was in the morgue, but then you said hospital, so.

Starting point is 00:50:13 I like that answer better, but Aaron was correct. It's he's leaving a hospital after visiting his wife who's on life support. The power goes out, stopping the elevator, and he gets the life support system too. He said, he assumed, I would love if the elevator stops and he just assumes she's dead and just goes home. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:29 And she's like, that marriage was a good one. 30 years later, she's like, I was alive. Hospitals famously don't have backup generators. Yeah. So one power surge killing everyone at the hospital. It says here, he assumes that the emergency backup generator we're working, the elevator wouldn't lose power either. Oh, interesting. Yeah, boss, when we want to reroute this thing we could do it so

Starting point is 00:50:49 just the elevator has the power or the whole hospital keeping people alive has the power. Sorry I'm busy watching my TV shows and my computer do whatever you want. TV shows that's Poland. It has a plot. Oh, I'm sorry, this is Game of Thrones. This is season two. This is Game of Thrones porn. Oh, I gotta see a scene. This is gonna be a Game of Thrones parody pond of scene. Puyo said podcast.

Starting point is 00:51:16 You can see it. I gotta see a scene. This is Game of Thrones parody podcast. And go, it's a new idea. We're running with a brand new idea. This is called Dame of Bones. So Aaron, you're playing a Dame Judy Jensen. No, no, you're playing a Dame

Starting point is 00:51:38 GPC. You are the aforementioned bones. Okay, and this is the setup before the sex. Gotcha So my name is Dave. I am the puppeteer. I will Basically what I do is I use my hands and these strings to manipulate the dragon's penis. And do you get turned on in the scene? I am a unique. So I... In the scene. I'm sorry? In the scene?

Starting point is 00:51:54 I'm just Dave and I... Yeah, but like you as an actor, like, important like people should be on earth. So will you finish? Oh, yes. But the way that I finish is by manipulating these puppeteering tools to stimulate the dragon's erection. I personally won't finish, but I will finish for the dragon. You understand what this is. I'm going to pop up into this dragon's penis

Starting point is 00:52:20 and my puppeteer, my name is Dave, I'm a eunuch, which is a thing that shouldn't exist anymore. But it's science, you know? This is nothing's ever been clearer is Dave. I'm a eunuch. Well, which is a thing that shouldn't exist anymore But I was it's science, you know nothing's ever been clear for me. I'm ready. I was chemically castrated Action You you come in. Yeah, I think you can be a dragon at me. Are you trying to poison me a king? See Dave, I see you getting turned on turn on I see Dave I see you getting turn on turn on Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Do you get turned on by being a puppeteer? That wasn't me being turned on I was trying to eat a shrimp while I was doing this and it was just lodged just caught in the back of my throat I shouldn't try to eat the jumbo shrimp scotch. Okay, and take these shrimps away from me. Thank you action

Starting point is 00:53:00 You come in here being a dragon you're trying to kill me Boy, is it me or take my Dave I see you I'm so sorry horny in there bud. That's it. That's a page from my wife She's she's in labor not for pregnancy. She's in a labor camp She was kiddapt I want to cut to a scene with Dave the Unic. And this is him and his buddy doing a, almost like an abbot in Costello, routine on the road for Vodville.

Starting point is 00:53:32 Okay. I'm sorry to bother you, sir, but I'm looking for my friend Nick, Unic. And this is what a dryer would sound like. Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray. Say. You said play the bliates right? Yeah, well, yeah, for sure.

Starting point is 00:53:47 Oh my god. I understood vaudeville. Can you fuck me? Here we go. Yes. A man fell off a smuggling boat into deep water. He could not swim and he was not a swim fan and he was not wearing anything to keep him afloat.

Starting point is 00:54:02 It took 30 minutes for the people on the boat to realize someone was missing. The missing man was rescued two hours later on the return trip. Why didn't he drown? Can I ask a follow-up question? Yeah. Was when he fell off the boat, was he falling into the deep end? And here we go. And here we go. I can't tell it's like it's like like a little Judy Garland like I don't know it's like Apple Mermaid it's Ethel Mermaid yeah It's an Apple Mermaid Star is born Fred Okay, I was too busy thinking of my great joke Remember much about the room that should be the name of this podcast I was too busy thinking about my great joke

Starting point is 00:54:41 To be a good friend and a supportive listener Can we get that on a t-shirt? Yes, that's our new graphic I was too busy thinking about my great joke. To be a good friend and a supportive listener. Could we get that out of T-shirt? Yes, that's our new graphic. It's a composite of all of our faces. I was too busy thinking about my good joke. Adel, are there hints that come along with this one? There are not, but I will answer some questions.

Starting point is 00:55:00 So just to reiterate, the important bullet points here, man fell off a smuggling boat into deep water. He could not swim. He wasn't wearing anything to keep him afloat. He was rescued 30 minutes later and was still alive. How? What were they smuggling? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:12 Were they smuggling a smaller boat? Were they smuggling life-ests? Was it a life-est smuggling boat? No. A buoy? No? A balloon. Did he get wet when he fell in the ocean?

Starting point is 00:55:22 Was he wet the whole time? I mean, I don't want to answer this. Whatever floats your buoy. Make eye contact with me later. He was wet. Was he submerged? He, I mean, his body was in water. Okay, okay.

Starting point is 00:55:42 His body was in water. I can't speak to if he was fully submerged the whole time. Sure. But his body was in water. Okay. Okay. Okay. His body was in water. I can't speak to if he was fully submerged the whole time. Sure. But his body was in water. Okay. Okay. Um, were they smuggling scuba gear? They were not. So, so nothing the boat was carrying had life fest or or. So was what they were smuggling important? Um, to me it is. To the riddle now. Good. To me. Okay. Was he the only one who fell off the boat? Yes. Oh, that's a good like that somebody fell off with him like like his simeis twin. Or his swimming instructor. I prefer simeis just swim and swim. Was the water deep enough for him to drown.

Starting point is 00:56:26 Yes. Okay, so he could. He's having so many views just standing. He's like me and he's like, there's a mug. Sir, it's low time. There's a smuggling boat. And what are those called that water parks,

Starting point is 00:56:35 like the whirlpool zones? Slide. Slide. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. What's called the water park? I'm so to fat. Thank you. So to fat.

Starting point is 00:56:43 I'm a fucking moron. What's that thing I water park? I'm so to fat. Thank you. So to fat. I'm a fucking moron. What was that thing I do into DMs? Oh. Oh. Uh, I find water slides pretty scary. Like, I would rather go on a roller coaster than one of those like really steep tunnel slides that like water splashes.

Starting point is 00:56:56 So we just died on a water slide. Seriously. Yeah, every 10 minutes, every 10 minutes, somebody does it. See that? It's just like the not breathing scares me. Aaron, would you rather go down a water slide or a wet roller coaster? A wet roller coaster.

Starting point is 00:57:09 You don't know why it's wet and it shouldn't be. Well that same with me roller coaster you have. I have that. This is the blue with episode. I heard a kitty Chesney song and my roller coaster's wet. You with me both gal. Don't know why we're wet gal we are by the right now eras in typical first so gross I'm so sorry and Jeff you've listened to the show and my question to you is why and Jeffrey we're sorry also you know I'm not this

Starting point is 00:57:37 gross normally right everybody yeah you being on this show constitutes us in the policy airs in his Terry because she's a fucking gross. Uh, nice. Wow, that was very cool. Um, I love her. And man fell off a smuggling boat into deep water. He could not swim and was not wearing anything to keep him afloat. It took him 30 minutes for people on the boat to realize something was missing.

Starting point is 00:57:59 Someone was missing. The missing man was rescued two hours later on the trip. Why didn't he drown? He couldn't swim. He was in root beer. Was he being towed behind the boat? So in some way? Uh, he was being towed, which is when somebody puts their big tow in your butthole?

Starting point is 00:58:10 Yes. That's called towing someone's wet sprout. Is that real? Yeah, was. Is that real? Is that real? You guys would tell me that was real, right? It's entrapment if you don't tell me that this is like so much.

Starting point is 00:58:23 This is like Miracle on 34th Street, but it's with sexual sexual acts you would have to tell me tell me it's real Jeffery What do we think so he wasn't he wasn't tied to the boat in any way? He was not tied to the boats. Okay. I will say The what matters about this riddle is location location location But so but the water was deep What's those things in the ocean that like come up? Sharks. Was it like the Dan Fond?

Starting point is 00:58:49 Was he in the Dead Sea where like you're like buoyant? My man, JPC. Yes. He fell into the Dead Sea, which lies between the countries of Israel and Jordan. The water's so salty. How salty is it? How salty is it?

Starting point is 00:59:03 And dense that anyone in it can float very easily. And technically I should not have given the answer to that because Dead Sea is getting pretty close to Israel and I know you were not telling. I'm not telling Jewish people what to do. Oh my gosh. Anymore. That was a good one. That was a good one.

Starting point is 00:59:18 Actually, like that riddle. A rare moment. Is the Dead Sea the only place in there in this question is for you? You're looking right at me. Is the Dead Sea the only place in there in this question is for you You're looking right at me. It's the Dead Sea the only place where that's that that level of salt makes you like boyant I think the salt and sea in California. Oh, oh, it's yeah, it's so super salty But I think it's a similar thing where you could float on it. Yeah cool. I guess I could probably float on Aaron's cooking them Cool. I guess I could probably float on Aaron's cooking, but... How would dare you?

Starting point is 00:59:45 You oversalt your... I'd salt soup! Salt soup! That's my mistake. I wish I had the border. You take the piss, you take the salt, salt soup. Salt soup! Can you float on soup?

Starting point is 00:59:56 Um... Depends on the soup. All right, modest mouse over here. All right. They all float, it's soup. Somebody should mash up, uh, uh, what's his name, Khanahi? All right. We all flow too. Somebody should mash up what's his name, Connehy? Matthew McConaughey. And float on and have it be all right, all right, all right.

Starting point is 01:00:13 Already we all float on. That's incredible. So we'll do that. So someone do that. And also Aaron said someone should make a wanted poster for Old Stabby Sweat Pants. Honestly, I think that we should just Someone do that and also Aaron said someone should make a wanted poster for old stabby sweatpants. Honestly, I think that we should just read this by myself.

Starting point is 01:00:27 And have a BJP space. Have a BJP space. This is quite a guess you should just be called someone do that. Someone do that. Someone do that. And we saw a big drop off on people following instructions. I think the internet's podcast is just called someone draw. We do a bunch of improv scenes that we want people to draw.

Starting point is 01:00:40 Someone do this. We won't. We never will. We don't have the time and energy, but you do, right? Friends? How are we feeling? We want another one? Yes. Let's see here. A man is in a dark room having a great time. Suddenly, he stops breathing and can't speak. In a matter of moments, his breathing and ability to speak returns to him. What happened? Autor of autosficiation, he's jerking himself off with the bell after he comes he listens to the bell. We can breathe again.

Starting point is 01:01:07 This is only a thing I'm in excess. My God. I'm not going to say anything. Oh, my mom. No. Haunted house. Roll a coaster. Take my brother. He's a bat. I like the, they got the haunted house makes a ton of sense. Yeah, I can tell by your silence. It is not a haunted house. Does the man have a heart attack?

Starting point is 01:01:24 The man has a heart attack. He does not have a stroke. Is there a. It is not a haunted house. Does the man have a hard to take the man to have a heart attack? He does not have a stroke. Is there a medically is there a medical reason for why? There is medicals a strong word for it, but I guess it's I guess it's apropos, but but medical Okay, yeah, there's a is there a health reason is that a better word for? Okay, never mind. Just to some degree. There's something happening It's not necessarily the like an organ is failing him, but something's going on. That is, that would require someone possibly to receive some sort of medical help. Choking?

Starting point is 01:01:52 Uh, that is correct, but I need to know the full... Oh, okay. There's more to it. So a man is in a dark room having a great time. Suddenly, he stops breathing and can't speak. And a man or a moments, his breathing and ability to speak returns to him, what happened? Is he choking because he's got a belt on his neck and he's he's watching yeah he's eating chicken wings in a dark room

Starting point is 01:02:10 uh... national hot it's his definition natural hot chicken to eat in a dark room chicken amongst mom and it's his birthday that's the set we've read the best boys of all was the best voice until until it died and that's not controversial to say mom. I just died

Starting point is 01:02:27 It's super messed up for you to tell her Not sure I thought you were setting up air and to sing again Okay, so we were making our kind trying to find the dark room, right? I'm sorry. We're trying to pin down what the dark room is. You try and pin down what the dark room is and why he was choking and then suddenly was fine again. Because he was choking and then he was then able to speak in favor of you. Pop movie.

Starting point is 01:02:59 Pop movie. He's eating popcorn. He's watching Popstar never stop stopping by the other man. Never stop choking. Never stop choking. Was it a movie theater? Is that correct? It is a movie theater. So we have two of the three components.

Starting point is 01:03:10 He was choking in a movie theater. And now I just need to know why he stopped choking eventually and was able to continue watching a movie. He was choking on ice. It's a popcorn. Someone gave him popcorn. I think J.B.C said it. Yeah, he was choking on ice and the ice.

Starting point is 01:03:21 He was choking on ice, which was his boyfriend's name. He was giving him a throat. For them. Honestly, if you could do that, you could have the ice melted. Yeah, the ice melted and he was able to. Ice, baby. That sucks.

Starting point is 01:03:34 What was he doing? You would probably suffocate before ice would melt, right? So I'm assuming he wasn't sucking up ice through a straw. I'm assuming he had nothing but ice, but he was just capping and tipping it back at me with his mouth to eat the ice. Man, if I saw a guy doing that in the fucking movies, I would hope he had nothing but ice left in his cup and he was like tipping it back at his mouth to eat the ice. Man, if I saw a guy doing that in the fucking movies, I would hope he did. I know, I know people who would, friends who would like add a cafeteria in college or

Starting point is 01:03:52 something would just get a cup full of ice and chew on it. Who do you know? Who are you hanging out with? Let me see those hands. Oh, same as all the people you know. J.F.U.C. here. Fuck, fuck. I can tell it was a big look that. Let's do one. Fuck, fuck. I can tell it was big looked at.

Starting point is 01:04:05 Let's do one, final, more. It's a final, final, more riddle. All right, here we go. Can this one be good? Yeah, let me. These are actually, as far as riddles go, these have been pretty decent. Yeah, these are some of the best that I've ever heard.

Starting point is 01:04:19 Because at least they make a little bit of sense and they haven't inspired a white hot rage inside me. Yeah, let me get a real bad one. We're gonna end on. Oh yeah it is so good. A man is dead in a room with a smile, with a smile. A man is dead in a room with a small pile of wood chips and sawdust in the corner. That's all we have to go off of. A man is dead in a room with a small pile of wood chips and sawdust in

Starting point is 01:04:41 the corner. Did he bite the dust? This is the Queen song, another one bites the Rep city. Is there riddle to this? It just sounds like a declarative statement. Yeah, it is the declarative statement. We have to reverse engineer what happens. And it's a little statement. I cannot stress enough, this real bad. Okay, this is the most garbage answer.

Starting point is 01:05:01 Okay. Is everything else structurally in the room intact? Yes. So there's a pile of, we said sawdust and what? A dead man. There's a dead man in the room with a small pile of wood chips and sawdust in the corner. Now I'll say I'll give you, I probably need to feed a lot of hints into this ATM machine style. So the wood chips in the sawdust both came from one item. There wasn't item. It's been it's been part of it partially has been turned into wood chips and sawdust. And it would be it would be an item. The old man used. Oh, this is the old man. The dead man. I'm sorry. This is a taxidermy situation where they're stuffing him with wood chips and

Starting point is 01:05:38 sawdust. No, dammit. But whatever killed him is made of what? Not whatever killed him, but something that led to I guess does he have any visible marks on his body? Um, he has some birth marks. He also slept in his car and so he has like an impression of the car seat on his side of his face. What else? Is there anything else in the room? Is there?

Starting point is 01:06:01 Um, let me... Is how he died important? Yes, okay, so Well, something with wood here. Would he be embarrassed about the way he died? Yeah, boy, that's hard to say. It's is I don't know him. Yeah, and his special well Here's what I'll say we're focusing maybe on we should focus on the circumstances a lead to his death Okay, and his death he was alone when he died so He he probably

Starting point is 01:06:31 Punches on ticket did he cough up the sawdust in the wood chips? No, they never yeah, he was blowing Groot Did you go through a woodchipper he did he go through a wood chipper? He did not go through a wood chipper. Is his body intact? Uh, his body... Yeah, I mean, something led to his death. It doesn't matter what led to his death. Um, he punched his own ticket,

Starting point is 01:06:54 but it's what, it's what, the events that led up to him deciding to do what he did. This sucks. I have no idea at all. This is, I, I guarantee you, this is the worst riddle we've ever done. Ready? For the answer? Yeah. Do you have anything? is, I guarantee you this is the worst riddle we've ever done. Ready for the answer? Yeah. Do you have anything?

Starting point is 01:07:07 Yeah, I have anything else. I'm ready. And you know how have you ever done what's the, I forget the name for it. Like when you watch a TV show for the, if you're the test audience for a TV show, what's that called focus group? Focus group, yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:17 I want you to pretend you're a focus group. And if you've ever done that, you have a dial in front of you. It's like zero to 10. And as you, the whole time, you have to move that dial, depending on what you zero to 10. And as you, the whole time you have to move that dial, depending on what you see on screen. So as I give the answer, I want you with like a noise or something,

Starting point is 01:07:31 with how frustrated you are to go from zero to 10 vocally. Got it. Zero. Zero and zero. The Dead Man is a blind. The Dead Man, the different just part. The Dead Man is a blind dwarf 10 10 10 10 immediate 10 12 14 16 18. It's getting worse The dead man is a blind dwarf the shortest one in the circus another dwarf was jealous because he was not as short

Starting point is 01:08:04 What he began sawing he began sawing small pieces of the other dwarf's cane every night. When he used his cane each morning, he appeared to him that he was growing taller. Since his only income is from being a circus midget, he decides to kill himself when he gets too tall. When, what year was this written? 1951. That's insane. 1950 cancels. Can't say that. Yeah, there's so many of the words in that that are not, that's one of my favorite parts about riddles. We've aged out of having riddles be acceptable.

Starting point is 01:08:33 Yeah, 90% of them are awful. Yeah, that's real, real bad. Well, I'm glad that we'll never have to do that with all the show again this high stage. Jeffrey, do you have a good time? I had a great time. You're giving two thumbs down. Yeah. Do you know what a good time? I had a great time. You're giving two thumbs down. Do you know what a great time means?

Starting point is 01:08:48 I'm making fart noises. You're turning your dial to zero. War, war, war, war. Jeffrey, anything you would like to plug or to give a shout out to? Yeah, shout out to, start with this. It's the new podcast Joseph Fink and I made. It is a nonfiction podcast where we talk about writing and we give you assignments, we give you things to do to help inspire your writing.

Starting point is 01:09:08 That's okay. It is fantastic. It will work. And they're short and we have a member's form that people can go on and share their stuff and give feedback and talk about their ideas and hopefully find cool collaborators. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:18 That's very cool. Do you have anything in my plug? Sure, you can follow me on Twitter at JP So Fly. You can follow me on Instagram at Shark Parkman. You can always send it to us. So we'll never have to re-retell like that again. It's hrrpodcast.gmail.com. We love original riddles.

Starting point is 01:09:33 So if you want to write them yourself, if you own hand and send them in, that's awesome as well. You're handwritten. You want to see him in your hand writing. Please scan in handwritten riddles. Send them in. I promise if one person does that the first person that does it I will pick that riddle. We'll definitely do that one on the show. You can also find our tea public store

Starting point is 01:09:51 I just search Hey Riddle Riddle at tea public and then you can listen to our patreon. It's patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle give us five dollars a month and then you'll get a bonus episode every Friday. Yeah air anything to promote? Follow me air and keep 10 on Instagram and come see us in world news at IO and Saturdays, 8 and 10 but also come see Wet Bus which is every Thursday at 10 pm. It's me and a lot of my best friends and it's very different from everything else that I do. So every Hey Riddle Riddle fan it's come so far has little fan, it's come so far, it's been like, it's weird, different. Whoa, this is good improv. You listen to the show where you do that shit. Yeah, it's a lot more earnest.

Starting point is 01:10:29 I want to give a shout out, and a huge huge thank you to the person who's been helping us this whole weekend while we're in LA. Mars, thank you so much. Yay! Yay! You can check out Mars on the podcast, all fantasy, everything.

Starting point is 01:10:43 Mars, anything else to plug or anything? Uh, punch up the jam. Punch up the jam, which is phenomenal. What was it? And why would you date me? And why won't you date me? That's one of my favorites. So thank you so much to Mars and to Headgum for having us. And again, for Jeffrey Kramer for being on the show.

Starting point is 01:10:58 Awesome. I have one final question, which is Aaron Guinth-Paltrow has this famous company that she gives beauty products on and whatnot. That company actually comes from a different planet and its planet's name is... Jupiter. Well, it's a, what's the name of the company? Do you know Gwen Paltrow's company? Fuck Aaron.

Starting point is 01:11:19 Does she have a child name Apple? She has a company, a website. What is it? And then if that were a planet, it would be what? Goopeter. It'd be Goopeter, wouldn't it? It'd be Goopeter, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?

Starting point is 01:11:30 I, my, my, my, my panic, I was so, I didn't want to disappoint you whenever I got the name over her. It was Goopeter. I tried to do something fun. She sells rich women vitamins that cost like your hundred dollars. Well, this is the last episode. She sells which, that's the, that's the fun part of it, right? Goopeter! Goopeter! Bye forever. Well, this is the last episode. She sells which, that's the confesses the right. Guppaner!

Starting point is 01:11:46 Bye forever. Powering Parade in the middle of the head, I'm a single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, single, a Hitgun podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle - #54: A Star Is Wars! w/ Jeffrey Cranor

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