Hey Riddle Riddle - #57: The Question Is The Answer! with The Teachers Lounge

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

It's our final Hollywood Nightz episode and it's special as hell! We celebrated with one of our favorite podcasts The Teachers Lounge! Featuring Dan Lippert, Jon Mackey and Ryan Rosenberg (@BigGrandeUCB)! We parse through breakfast foods, play a shitty game of Catan, name our kids, make weird bets, get the ol' catholic discount at a bar and end with some unconventional romance! Check out season 8 of The Teachers Lounge now and find previous seasons on Stitcher Premium! It's truly one of the funniest things you'll ever listen to in your life! Do it now! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. No shit all Sherlock is Hey Riddle I'm Adolfi I'm JPC and I'm Erin Keefe're doing another Hollywood night. Hollywood night. Hollywood night. We've yet to record one of these at night Better LA than never yet. It's all Hollywood early morning slash mid afternoons We haven't fun. Yeah, I'm doing great Aaron anything to say. I'm so good. I've never been better Well for our final Hollywood night episode. We are thrilled to be joined by unless we've released these in a different order Okay final Hollywood night's episode, we are thrilled to be joined by... Unless we were at least these at a different order. Okay. Okay. Goddamn it. We're thrilled to be joined by some of our favorite

podcasters. You might know them from Big Runde, you might know them from the Teachers Lounge, which is on a new season start soon on, or maybe out already on Stitcher Premium. You can also get the first five seasons on iTunes and... I don't know that. Off the fuck. ear wolf calm. Yes, few.

We have with us Dan, John and Ryan. Thank you all so much for being here. Thanks for having us. So much for having us. This is what John's voice sounds like. This is what Dan's voice sounds like. Hello, now. And this is also Dan's voice.

I'm Ryan. Thank you so much for being on. JPC, you're going to be Oldman Puzzles? Yeah, so I will be kind of reading some riddles and guiding us through the just journey and adventure that is riddles on a podcast. But before we do that, we always like to ask our guests the same question, which is, what is your relationship with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems? Do you like them? Do you hate them? Just a recap for the three hosts.

Adel is in favor of them. Aaron absolutely hates them and I'm completely indifferent to anything and everything. You guys cover the whole spectrum. That's great. That's really good. So this is torture for you every time, Aaron. Yep.

I said yes to this to be polite. And I'm still here. Well, that would be on my gravestone. I'm just being polite. I'm even in this cemetery just to be polite. Yeah, I want to be cremated. All right, P1982, tell whatever you want. It's my gravestone too big.

I'm taking it too much space even then. It's just a matchbox. It just has a Midwestbox. With everything. It just has a Midwestern, whoop. You can move me if you need. You know. I love riddles personally. Growing up, I really liked using my logic brain

and not my creative brain. So I like them because it allows me to feel smart. Even though I'm not. You know what I mean? Well, you're wearing it for a piss in Surzi, so. Thank you. Yes. I have no preference in sports. Well, you're wearing it for a piss and surgery, so thank you. I have no preference in sports. I don't, I think I don't like them unless I get it right first.

And then I'm like, I like, I don't like people beating me at riddles. And it does feel like once someone knows one, they're not gonna give you the time to think about it. So it's kind of like, you don't get the joy of solving it unless you're the one that solves it first. Yeah, there's a race to not feeling dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that I like them because I am very stupid. I think in this capacity, I'm dumb.

I think I won't get a single one of these real- And John brought a teleprompter, which is very unusual. Yeah. He put it in the throat of the stick. Yeah, he brought himself. And I even wrote in all of these ums. And this part. Now it's your turn.

Have you guys ever done an escape the room, either as individuals with friends or together? Yes, I've done them and I don't like them. I would love to do one alone, but I don't like doing them with other people. Was there a theme too? It gets really stressful. Yeah, I did one that was like getting out

of an old Hollywood theater. And so you have to like talk to the actress who was killed here, who's a ghost, you know, all this stuff. It was fun, but we all got really frustrated. The group got frustrated. But I think we beat it though. That's good. Yeah.

I think they still do it, but this kind of like UCB associated thing used to happen ever, you're called the Odyssey, the sort of name Susie Barrett. I'm a resident teacher and what, I don't know why I have to tell you who she is. But she would put it on. And I just paused to Google. And yeah, I was wondering what you'd find. You'll be very happy when you find it.

Did you mean Carrie Barrett? Who's that? I don't know. I don't know. But she put it on, and it was this whole like, really well-planned out thing, and everybody would do it as their improv and sketch team where you would drive around L.A. solve riddles and the you know the first team to win it's just cool. It's really fun and then they throw a big party afterwards.

It's like a giant scavenger hunt. Yeah, yeah exactly. But it would always for our improv team, Winslow, be like the biggest asset test for what everyone doesn't like about each other. Or like what everyone's kind of thing is, or it's like, oh, you're not gonna make a decision. Like, oh, you're gonna make a decision way too fast. Oh, John's not gonna drive fast enough and put his endanger.

Yeah, yeah, sometimes you do, sometimes you gotta race, you know, you gotta go ahead and erase and go and scream that for not running red lights. Well, John does famously stop it every yellow. Okay, famously. All of me when it's dangerous. I immediately assess the situation and I've been scream that.

We used to make fun of John for stopping at yellows, and then he ran one once, and I almost got killed. It's car like literally almost T-bone dust, and it was the scariest thing that's ever happened. Yes, it was right all along. Is it like a based on, where'd you grow up? I grew up in North Carolina, which is, I don't think that, I don't know that explains it.

I was saying polite society. It's like pretty polite, but there's just no stop, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I and he got me there, stopping at stop signs, waving at people.

They say that's inherent to horses. They just know. They want to do it. They want to do it. They want to do it. They want to love to ride people. Give people rides. They love it.

It's not a torture for them. Their favorite spot to get kicked is right in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not majestic, beautiful animals. They're just cars. That's what they want to animals. They're just cars. Yeah. That's what they want to be. They're just cars full of meat. All right. Speaking of cars full of meat, this is not a good segue. We are going to do. I hope that they're not even made of meat. They're full of meat. Yeah. The outside something else. The outside is closed at the end. Back in time with glue. Tall glue and they're stunning.

It's full of glue. They're like a tap. What do you think called to me together? Oh, well, didn't everything. That's one of my favorite fan arts we've had, which is drawing a horse, where it's half-man half horse, and it's just down the middle. So it's like the right half is a man with one leg

and the left half is a horse. Like two fish? Yeah, exactly. But it was like the right half is a man with one leg and the other the left half is a horse like two face. Yeah Yes, thank you wrong type of centaur. Okay, so today I'll be playing old man puzzles Old man puzzles of responsibility is to Curate some puzzles. These are all listener submitted riddles puzzles lateral thinking problems that you will all have to solve We're gonna start off with a little bit of an easy one. I asked what lateral thinking means. Oh, Adela would love to explain Yeah, so lateral thinking is even do this podcast for like 50 episodes no one knows what the fuck it means except Adela So lateral thinking means that you just have to think outside base basic thoughts in terms of like am I what do you say the button the bun the button?

The bomb talk about yeah fourth. Yeah, fourth meal, bitch. Hey, fourth meal, bitch. I was sponsored by Taco Poinoso. Thank you so much. There, menu. Thank you so much. So it's almost like using a lot of hominem or classic one to me is there's a cabin in the woods.

There's several people dead inside. There's no footbirds leading up to the cabin, how did all the people inside die? And it's the cabin of an airplane. So thinking outside what a cabin can constitute. Or it's what word if you add two letters makes it shorter. So we're short if you add ER. So it's that kind of thinking.

Where it's like, it's like, you're so fun. Versus treating it as like a trivia question, treating it as something that you have to kind of think think through and outside the outside the bunch. So in trivia, your knowledge can help you, but here nothing can help you. I'm screwed. This is I think. Well, the question is the answer, right? So you just got to find where in the question the answer is.

That's what it seems like. That's the smartest thing that's been said on this podcast. Thank you. And I was just about to say, thinking inside the bun would be anal sex. Now I think it's all. No, that's the smartest thing. This is a riddle submitted by Tom.

Tom says, hey, guys, I love the podcast. Sorry, Aaron. What? I have for you guys. Again, sorry, Aaron. I have it. I have it. Again, sorry Aaron. Jesus, Tom. It's 2019. They met you.

They would have said you. Yeah. What two things can you never eat for breakfast? I know. What two things can you never eat for breakfast? spaghetti. Thank you. And meatballs.

And red wine. I have it. Yeah, so we And red wine. I have it. Yeah, so we've got two people that have it. We have the two smarties. And now you get to just sit and be smug. What two things can you never eat for breakfast? What two things can you never eat for breakfast? And I see this is like classic lateral thinking.

This, yeah, plate. That's the process. This I think is, what do you say, Aaron? Plates. Plates. Oh. Oh. Now, I have to what you say Aaron plates. Oh Now I have to ask John did Aaron saying plates help you or did what Adel said that was what I'll say

I think and Dan how are you doing knowing that three people have I do this thing where once I know it's like if I play in so there's a coutan and I get a bad start like where i'm on the board is bad i'm just like okay i lost so i'll yeah i know i don't know this one so i'm not even going to think about it anymore uh what's your internal monologue right now Dan? um i was thinking about different different uh silverware's uh and then i was thinking about i want to eat a bacon egg and cheese biscuit. and that would be something that you couldn't have for breakfast. So I will say as a hint, do not think about individual food items. That will not help you.

Because something like bagel bites, you can have pizza in the morning or any time. Or pizza at supper. Give your sad, yeah. Yeah. When pizza's on a bagel, you're poor. Yeah. Before you shut up, or you got broken up with pizza's on. The bagel?

Your parents just don't care. Yeah, what two things can you never eat for breakfast? I want to say quick, as worse maybe, I guess one of us is still thinking about it. I don't know. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know. I don't get it.

Well, that's par for the course. And then you've been so lovely. And I'm sorry to do that. I don't know any of that. Aaron didn't get it. I didn't get it. Well, that's par for the course, but, and Dan, you've been so lovely, and I'm sorry to do that. I wanna see a quick scene. Let's have Dan and JPC, you two are playing a game of settlers of Catan. JPC is absolutely fucking owning you, and Dan, you're trying as best you can to just be really, to just let it wash over you.

All right, good, cool. Now I know I can trade sheep to the bank three for one because of my port, but I'll give you three sheep for an ore. Does that sound good? Um, the way you're saying it. Let me put it this way. What would you say? It in a way? That would be very helpful to you. Okay, I'll take the three sheep. Okay, that's a fool's errand because you didn't need sheep. Well, no, now, but we're out of cards. Well, now, okay, well, as long as I don't roll a seven, I'm fine. That's true. So I'm just gonna roll a seven, it's a-

It's a roll. And it's a seven. Okay. Okay. No, I- Can I be honest with you? I brought over Dixit. Did you want to play Dixit?

Um, I'm not familiar with Dixit. It's really fun. It's for a lot of art, uh, art base. I guess I guess I guess I could give it a try. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a DIXIT. I know it sounds like I said Dixit, but it is a real game. I felt like I was about to, I felt like it was one of those like, uh, Did someone just tell my dog Richard to sit? I am my dog's owner and I will tell it, we're gonna sit and win a stand and win a roll over over I'm so sorry sir. I was trying to say the name of a game Dixit. Oh there you dog goes again Look I honestly I'm not trying to don't apologize to me apologize to Richard the dog

No Lewis yes my dog okay Richard Richard Richard yes This man has something to say to you No, Lewis, yes my dog. Richard? Richard? Yes. This man has something to say to you. I'm sorry Richard, I was kind of getting into it with my friend and I was trying to introduce a new game. I guess I'm sorry, I... I sit, cuck, to your owner, and told you to sit, instead of him. I only respond to one man.

Please don't ask me to sit again. OK, I apologize. Thank you. OK. May my dog play whatever game you're playing? Well, is that OK? Would your dog like to play a game of each one? What is that?

Each one? Can you explain the rules to my dog? Can you say it in a way that makes me want to explain it? Would you please explain the rules of... Of what? Of each one? Of each one? Each one of these nuts?

Good day sir. So that's our brand of humor. I thought that's what is Dixit a game. Dixit, it's a really fun game. It's the game I always want to play. Oh, really? Good. I thought I thought that's what is Dixit a game. Dixit, it's a really fun game. It's like, I always want to play. You get all these cards, and they'll have little different paintings on them. It's beautiful.

They're all like Jamescapes. Yeah. That's a better way to describe it. It's just a abstract painting. And then it becomes kind of like apples to apples where someone picks one of their own cards and doesn't show it to anyone and Create some sort of phrase to describe the card It can be whatever they want and they put it in the middle and then everyone else puts their card that most looks like

It would be that phrase got it and you tried to trick everyone into thinking your card was the the choice It's almost like baller dash. Yeah baller dashes, but with just like a yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so easy for stupid people to play Oh, I think and John you can put down those crayons and paper and join the podcast John's working on his teleprone When he knows the answer to this riddle like to say the answer to this oh, yeah, I like to say it I just figured it out. Ah! I just figured it out.

That was good. Is that what you guys all thought? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only two things that you can't have a breakfast are lunch and dinner of course. That's interesting.

I had beans in cauliflower. Oh, I know, it's beans in cauliflower. Those are dinner dishes on that is correct it is beans and cauliflower. Okay cool so this next riddle uh let me see who submitted this one. What about breakfast dinner for breakfast? That's what I was gonna say. This is a that's tricky. Technically we do call that Brenner and so that is what about breakfast? What what Brexit Brexit what about Dixit? Yeah, okay that Rural's wrong so you're

I'm sorry and Tom and Tom that's the teachers lounge Hey money to listen to our episodes teacher premium Okay, this one is from grace a mom has eight eight kids. Their names are January, February, March, April, May, June, July. What was the eighth kid's name? And is Grace under fire? Yeah. Grace, you're fired. Yes, that'll very good joke.

And I want to give you direct eye contact and praise. Oh, can you read it one more time at the beginning? Yes, I can read it all the way from the beginning. A mom has eight kids. Their names are January, February, March, April, May, June, and July. What was the eighth kid's name? Wait, I thought you said Grace up top.

That was the first meeting. The first meeting. Oh, got you, okay. And Grace is not the correct answer. Is that your guess? Oh, I would hate to be named February. What about February Jones? She was on that name.

Oh, yeah. She was. Fantasy from North Dakota. A mom has eight kids. Yes. January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August. I will say it's not a point. July.

July. OK. What is the eighth kids? Yes, what is the eighth kids name? It doesn't have an amy because she's still pregnant. Oh, okay, and wouldn't you think life begins there? I'm happy you are. Well, every kiss begins with K and every life begins with a kiss begins with K. Every life begins with conception. See, this is going to kill me. Every life begins with conception. See this is this is gonna kill me. I mean, I'm just

Did we get to so we it's our I'm gonna say August I think yes August is a great first guest August is not correct. I'm gonna say December It was the first kid. Oh Yeah, that's smart. That actually is very smart That is incorrect. It's pure. Leap year incorrect. January, February, March, April, May, June, and July. What was the eighth kid's name? I will tell you.

I will tell you. No, I will tell you. And was the seventh name. You're closest. You're closest of all. With that line of logic. Whoa. Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh. Do you have it? No. Oh, OK. Wait, read it again. I just like that. Okay. Okay, uh, a mom has eight kids.

Their names are January, February, March, April, May, June, and July. What was the eighth kid's name? And August? Mm-hmm. Nope, very good. And taking, I will say that, uh, a month is not part of their name. And from everything that I've read, I've already given you these.

Oh, is it mom junior? It's mom junior. Fuck! Yes, it's mom junior. That's a good name. That is a good name for like a dog or a daughter. Why is it mom junior? Is there logic to that?

No, no, no. To me, honestly, the logic is that there might be one named after the parent, because I don't know what other context clues there are. Except if it was, if it had said like, you know, Phyllis's mom has eight kids. It's not important to mom. All the months that I'd be like, other context clues there are. Except if it was, if it had said, you know, Phyllis's mom has eight kids. It's not important to see mom. All the months that I'd be like, it's Phyllis.

It could be a dad. It's not, that's not important. This is a wording one. That is correct, Aaron. It is a wording one. And I hate these. Is it written funny? It's not written funny, but I think reading it

you would understand it in the mean. Oh, we don't have the answer yet. Oh, is something spelled different? Is it a feral child? Nothing is spelled different, and it is not a feral child, but Adolf, that is an excellent guess. I actually can't say for sure if it's not a feral child. Wait Okay, I know great. I think okay cool The Johns in the room have the answer to this

Yeah, I think I know cool. Yeah, would you like to just fucking stun? Yeah, part of the riddle now for me is I've learned from that clue that your first name is John Now I've got to learn with a few in the seaside You have the whole podcast It's gonna be a fight. He's a podcast I'm scared of that I think I know I I'm scared that I think I know it. Because I don't want to say it on that, because I'm tear. It's okay to be wrong. She would just say,

because we all know it and then make her insane to do it. There's a chance that someone has already said this, and I didn't hear them say it because I was lost and thought about this riddle. That's okay. What you're experiencing right now is what Magneto felt when he realized his powers. You have these terrible powers,

and you can unleash the multiple. John, right now you're treating this answer like it's a yellow light when he's you to go. You're gonna be like, I think that the kid's name is July. Uh, the left in his face. Because if you, if you, if you and in July, yeah, if you would set that out right,

we would have not laughed, but then there's a huge build up is what made it for me. But I have said it is not a month the name of the kids you said that yeah Well, I may have thought about it. I would do when I see a scene with With this John and with Aaron you two are new parents you already have seven kids that you've named in some sort of It's like some sort of list or some sort of obvious order But this eighth kid you want to mix it up a little bit. Right, so we have Scorpio Sagittarius. Yeah.

And again, I'd love to break out of the whole, like, astrology thing. Oh, come. I don't, you know, I don't buy this stuff, hun. I, like, I feel like we're sort of like, setting kids up to a be made fun of be they're gonna read what their horoscope is and it's gonna be different from what their name is It's gonna cause so much confusion We're gonna make fun of a little boy named Gemini everyone. No, I would I would make fun of a kid named Gemini when I was Mom dead I just got up from school and all the

kids are saying I'm gonna die because I'm cancer. They said I'm gonna die because I'm cancer. I'm a crab. Yes. Listen, cancer, listen bud. To be fair, cancer does run in the family. So that there is a chance that any of us could die from cancer, but you're not going to die from cancer because your name is cancer, okay? When these kids come at you and they say, you know what, blame it on your mother. Well, oh my goodness. She wanted to name you. She wanted to name you this. Yeah, and my dad probably died from cancer. Yeah. That's something that you'll have to do. I've already had one scare. Yeah, and your name will haunt you and

remind you of our death, sure. But also, it's sort of fun. You could also maybe be a positive thing. You know what, honey, you can name the new baby. That's a great idea. You have the worst name. That's how I got my name. My brother named me three days before I was born.

Okay. I chose the name that my parents were gonna give me. Well, were they gonna name you? They were gonna name me David, but three days before I was born, my brother said, I want my brother's name to be Jonathan Can we name him sticker? Yes

Yes, it's so fun. Who's gonna make fun of a kid named sticker? Let's just listen. Let's give him two seconds to think of on a real name good good point. What about decal? Okay, sticker it is Say Sticker it is Say Can we get a can we get a taste of the little hint fuck? So I will read it one more time the answer. I'm going to read you the answer Oh fuck a mom has eight kids their names are January February March April May June and July

What was the eighth kids name? That was the hint that I just gave you the answer What That was the hint that I just gave you the answer What? It's what Oh my god One of those one you got played by the best you got played by grace Oh, great I had a fucking Uber driver give me one of those riddles so I was trapped in the car for 15

I didn't just leaned back really hard It was arm over this couch. He was leaning into this. He was, and he kept repeating it and emphasizing, and I was like, can you tell me? Like, it's more miserable than making conversation for you to repeat a riddle at me for 15 minutes when I'm trapped in your car.

It really has to be a thing that both people want. Absolutely. You can't go like, I know something, and I'll never tell you. It's not fun. The same is close up magic. It's like, I just didn't ask for this. I just said that the other day.

You just stole my watch. This is fun. It's a pricey digitation. It's amazing. I want to see a scene. Ryan, you're going to be a Uber driver who's just kind of fun. And Dan and JPC, you are passing over to getning. Hey, what's up guys? How we doing? Oh, we can have a long night. So just had no right if you want to get to destination. You got to answer this riddle

What's black and white? Not at all. There's no prize. There's no prize. Just if you want to get to your destination the prizes I get to the place I paid for. Yeah. Well, you haven't paid yet. I told you you should cancel when you got a guy who was one star. What's black and white?

I said, I gotta see what it means to be one star on here. This is what it means. OK. Are you guys ready? Yes. You're in. What's black and white and red all over? OK.

Just by your look, I can tell this is going to be a racial answer. Yes. And I maybe do what I maybe uncomfortable with that. Okay, so... Can you at least put the car in drive and go towards Ness nation all over? I'll creep forward. If we start guessing, can we make it?

Black and white and red all over. Well, I think a lot of times it's a newspaper. Yeah, that's a classic. It's not that that but you have given us the hint that it is Rachel That's right So that's one that gets on the gunthroat into reverse We are dangerous and close to the precipice Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please We just keep back from scattering our fathers ashes on this cliff. Oh gosh. Oh, yeah. Thanks for coming all the way out here No problem. Yeah, like in the area though, correct? I was yeah, I was in the area

So what's black and white and red all over to stay on land? It does just feel like even the act of trying to guess I might say something that's Racist air in Iran. Yeah, I don't want to take that well You're gonna have to say something that's racist and correct I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say none in a blender which is not racist but does make me uncomfortable. Yeah, that was it. None in a blender. So here we go into drive and we're rolling forward. Thank you. Thank you. Now if you want to get to your destination, you'll have to answer one more. I feel like the rules keep changing. That's right.

So Ryan, do you give us permission to make our new t-shirt design racist and correct? Absolutely. As long as I am not on it or anything. No, no, no, no. And your face. Oh, that last one was a toughy. It was really frustrating and what, that what answer. It made me feel pretty stupid.

Yeah, yeah. My confidence is shot. Do you make us all feel stupid? That's kind of the point. And that's why we're all getting off big time. I was making key all day. When you get them in the email or whatever, do you try to solve them before you read the answer?

The email or the letter or the phone call? People hide just because I'm holding a big whiteboard and by the way. Yeah, I get these from a phone call from my dad once every year. Oh, I'm going to just give you some on this. He's 10 redels. OK, here's the one from Grace. Happy birthday.

No, I don't want to hear about your life. I want to give you riddles from a band name Tom. Dan, what was the question? Just did, do you try to solve it before you read the answer? So it appears. I usually know. I kind of want to play along with these as well. When we normally don't have three guests on the podcast,

so if it's just the three of us, we like to play along. But I did look at most of these ahead of time. The other thing is since we're having guests and this is a special episode, we wanted to make sure that these were an absolute dog shit. So I did kind of pre-ing and prep prep. Yeah, that's a fucking thing. For some riddles that I thought were. SAT pre-mines. Yeah. What does pre mean? I like that word. What pre mean? Pre mean so.aning your penis. I think it's a pre-mechurly. I thought it was like a lady in waiting word. I thought it was not a bird word.

I think it's when birds pick bugs out of each other. It's like when you call it, like, quaff your hair or you're kind of making sure everything's in place. And the other word I was looking for was print. Printing a pre-mean. I'm asking that. It makes me think of prune, like pruning a tree. Yeah. was Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim Pr I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print.

I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print.

I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print.

I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. I like the print. many, a few riddles that they read in a book about 16 years ago, which seems like a weird brag. And I think I remember all the details, I remember. So bear with me. I'm kind of a baby genius.

Yeah. Yeah, it does go out of the way to say 17 years old. But Paul does say that they think that we will like them. So here's the first of the four riddles that Paul has sent. Are we doing all four just? We're going to do one of them. We're going to take a little break because we got to get sponsored, baby. Two boys are playing near some woods.

One says to the other, you know, I can run half way into these woods and back again in 10 minutes. The other says, that's nothing. I can run two-thirds of the way into the woods and back again in nine minutes. The first boy says, that's impossible. Why? Say it again. Say it one more time. Okay, so it's I can run halfway into these woods and back again in 10 minutes. The other says I can do two thirds of the way into the woods and back again in nine minutes and the first boy says that's impossible. And the question is why? Because it just is. These are some facts. Because it just is by sheer.

Or small words. It's a fact. It's just. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because it just is, man. I do want to see you seeing. He's a rambling.

Let's have Dan, John, and Aaron, your three kids, little kids in the woods, and you're just making dumb ass bets. I could eat this whole tree. You think so? I could eat this whole tree. I don so? I could eat this whole tree. I don't think so. Oh yeah, I bet you I could eat the dirt that it's around it to you.

Okay, mine was way harder. Mine was way harder. Mine was harder. What is your harder? A whole tree and you can eat some dirt. And the tree. Oh wow, okay that's hard. The tree is not gonna be hard to eat.

It's filled with maple syrup. That's a good tree to eat. No, that's even harder. Yeah, because it gets stuck up. It's gonna get stuck up in your throat. It's gonna get gum syrup. That's a good treat to eat. That's even harder. Yeah, because it gets stuck up. Gun up in your throat. It's gonna get gummed up in my throat. You boys are idiots. Watch this. I'm not.

Oh my god. What? I don't mean to intrude, but it seems like you have a bad attitude. Oh, it's the Lorac. I spent a lot of trees. And I would ask. I bet you I can eat this Lorac. Do it. Oh, please. I can eat him in one bite I can eat I can eat the Lorax in half a bite what like yeah, I like

Big if you sirs I am but a Lorax I would not taste good. I could snort this Lorax. Oh my god ground up her hole I'm turning different colors. My dad does Lorax sometimes I think yeah, absolutely. 100% of the speed. Yes, Dad's doing lower acts. Does he want to have an answer to this at home? Yes. Yes.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's so fucking good at this. Yeah, he's smart. Do you actually have one? Yeah. Oh, you do, go for it. Do you want me to say it? Yeah.

Sure. Because you can't run once you're halfway through, you can't run two thirds through, right? Once you're two thirds through, you're going up the other side. Exactly. When you're halfway in, you're going halfway out. Yeah, halfway in, halfway out. Wow, you're smarter than this. Wait, what?

And it says here, little kid. So, congratulations. John's kicking dirt in the corner. Because once you get to the middle of the forest and you keep going, you're not going further in, you're going out the other side, right? So once you get halfway in, you're right in the middle of the forest and you keep going it you're not you're not going further in you're going out the other side right so once you get halfway in you're right in the middle if you were to go two thirds right you wouldn't be there's no such thing as two thirds in right so two thirds in is one third in right that's why they say just the tip doesn't work

Johnny you look like you're concentrating so hard that you're about to fall asleep I just it still makes zero sense to me and I think that we just need to let it be that way Because I don't I'll never understand because there's still two I can eat two thirds of a pie Okay, we're gonna have to see John We are gonna take a yeah, but say you're on the outside of the say you're at the crust and you go two thirds towards the middle Okay, I'm gonna take a make any sense. It's okay. I'm gonna take a quick break, Johnson and Edo.

The entire pie, we're gonna figure this out. We will be back with a little more, Riddleston Puzzle. Also, the second kid was paraplegic. The name is D-Cow. Two answers. Yeah, cancer took me so. The first kid was just me.

Rock, two, three, four, Hey, we're the brick dome. The first kid was just me. Fuck you, B-B-D-R, hey, w-B-D-R B-B-D-R Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Um, okay. And I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I whole website to print them. Okay. And I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubting to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time in money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank that you love. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. Squarespace. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools

to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether

or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm.

Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow ow Sorry, that also does so fast therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods Hmm and better help is entirely online so it's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly

the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let therapy be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help, h-e-l-p.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the T-E-D. And the lighter J-B-C, helping it home. Bye, baby.

Am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world.

And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, uh, uh, sorry, I also want to give

a toast. Uh, Rocket money, well, quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, Kling, Kling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks over three million, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today, and manage your expenses the easy way

by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you, Logan, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike We had a teacher like math to kids with gummy bears, and then I ran half way into the pizza. My little math genius is fast. We don't want to be different, I think that was the pizza we were going to eat on the plane.

Why is your kids so fat learning? True, actually. Also, don't ask me that. Hey, why is your kids so fat? Fuck off. I don't know why you can't see you. This is an inside of a Rels for mom. Mom, clap back. Okay, so this is still... Mom, clap back.

Okay, so this is still working on Paul's riddles. This is the second. Paul's getting in work today. A man jumps off a bridge onto a boat. He yells out for joy until someone walks up to him and says something. Then he starts crying. I need that run back. A man jumps off a bridge onto a boat.

I'll give you two thirds into the woods and I'll take it back. A man jumps off a beach onto a boat. I'll give you two thirds into the woods, and I'll take it back. A man jumps off a bridge onto a boat. He yells out for joy until someone walks up to him and says something. Then he starts crying, what happened? I know. You got it? I knew you.

The man is David O'Ressle. And the person came up and said, joy was not a great man. And that person was American. said joy was not a great That person was America. Yes, the box. I'm America for I think I know John. Can you give us a hint? Yeah, that's it. That's us It's the seven months. Well, I don't know if this is true, but in my brain. Uh-huh joy is a person I love the way you're thinking. I mean jumps onto a boat off a bridge. No, joy is a person. I love the way you're thinking. I mean, jumps onto a boat off a bridge.

It calls out for joy. You know, he yells out for joy, but joy, lowercase J, not a person. Fuck. Also, he asked for a hint, and based on what you thought the answer was, you gave us the answer. No, the answer is what happened.

Dan, I was gonna let it slide. Thank you. The answer is what happened. Dan, I was going to let it slide. Thank you. The answer is what's happened. I got a second for John. The answer is what happened. Yeah. So, joy being someone's name is not what happens. Yeah.

The detail. I'm giving it an answer of both. Is it a boat in like the nautical sense? Um, yes. What are the... No, it's a gravy boat. It's a it's a it's a nautical boat. Was this like a public proposal? And someone said no.

Aaron, you keep bringing it up. Okay. You asked us. I'm talking about it, but you keep bringing it up. Honestly, dance throw a way line of a full house, a full boat. It's like if you jump off of bridge, like it could be switching up card games. Oh, you're really? Yeah. No, it is not a proposal and it is not a card. Like if you jump off of bridge like it could be switching up card games. Oh No, it is not a proposal and it is not a card jumped off a bridge onto a boat was yelling

Screaming for joy jumping for joy yelling out for joy. Yeah, I still think joy as a person. Is it a seasonal thing? Is this riddle a seasonal thing? I would say no, you know what's crazy is I know I've heard this one before I thought so too and I thought it was the joy was a person I've definitely come across riddles on this show that I've Definitely heard before and still don't know the answer to it and that is very frustrating. Was the man trying to self-harm? No He was he was absolutely not trying to self-harm. See that's Yes, okay, I mean, jump stuff for bridge onto a boat. He yells out for joy until someone walks up to him and says something, then he starts crying what happened. I will say as a hint, the part about someone walking up to him and saying something, maybe not necessary, he would have figured it out without a person. He got onto the wrong boat. Yes. Yeah, like

he thought he was, he got on a boat. I don't know Somewhere and he is going the opposite direction Yes, you're very very close Aaron, but that's the what happened behind it I think you're there is it the Hudson Bay and the man is bowling gray Oh, Adel, thank you so much. You took Aaron seed and you turned it into a full-ball Yes, Titanic. No, it's it's not about specifically the boat. It's like that. What is other things? Yes, Titanic. No, it's not about specifically the boat. It's like, what is the situation? He missed his boat.

So we would... If you missed... Okay, I have to see a scene. Yeah. Aaron, we will see a scene where you are on a bridge looking down at a boat that is leaving a harbor. Let's see, John, we'll make you a you a passerby actually anyone who wants to be a pass It can't be you are standing on top of the bridge about to jump off this bridge to jump onto a boat that you missed

Hey, hey don't do that. What don't please don't jump. I think I'm totally gonna make it You're aiming for that boat. Yeah, I'm just gonna wind up. I'm gonna run back No, no, I'm just gonna wind up. I'm gonna run back. No, no, no. And then run forward real fast. I'm sorry, I can tell by your, you can't make it. You don't think I have a stamina? It's not a stamina issue.

I think it's like a leg strength issue. And also, we're 45 feet up. If you hit the deck on that boat, you will die, man. So, you guys aren't talking about jumping off this bridge onto that boat, are you? Well, she was, and I'm trying to keep going. Well, can you tell me, tell me, there's another ferry in 30 minutes, and it'm trying to tell me tell me there's another

ferry in 30 minutes and it just go just go to the boat launch area. Here we go. Ready? Just interrupt. Did you say it wasn't a stamina issue? I didn't it doesn't seem like it appears to be a stamina issue. I don't think we should roast this lady. Oh, I'm on my count. The book hasn't left yet Oh no! I think that captain just keeps saying that Do the book launch airing? No, no, no, please stop No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing.

I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing.

I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in hailing. I'm in ha So Aaron essentially has it just the the the the specific situation you just turned which part which part did you have which which That this person is jumping off a bridge onto a boat because they have missed their boat Is that the whole situation? No, it's very close. It's very very close I would say let some about all right, so a man jumped Something something love about some about yellows for joy when they get on the boat someone comes up to them and says something then they start crying. What happened? Oh Captain Ron. Yeah, it's Captain Ron.

Thank you Captain Ron died. Who's per Captain Rod died. I can I can give you the answer if you'd like. Yeah, I'm not going to. Yeah. So the man was trying to get on to a boat leaving the harbor and to escape. Instead he landed not gonna give you it. So the man was trying to get onto a boat leaving the harbor to escape, and steady landed on a boat that was going into the harbor.

The person who came up to him was telling him that I'm gonna go to the boat. Another out and in. Yeah, another out and in. Well, this one's tough. That's a bit of a deal. As a riddle. Yes.

Why is he crying? Yeah. It's not the worst news. Exactly. In my mind, this man is trying to escape something, like his own wedding or a jail, but now he's going right back into the room. I think a riddle where it's based on the back story you paint for it is not a riddle. I love that some stuff.

We've had a lot of those. He's been in prison. There we go. My answer to that riddle I think would have been better. But the woman's name for his joy. No, well, there's more to it. Can we hear this? Yeah, man and joy were both jumping off the bridge to kill themselves. Sure. Sure. He hit the deck. He was like, oh my god, I'm so glad I didn't die

when I hit the water because I'm more likely to live when I hit a boat. He screams out joy. There's his friend's joy. And he's like, are you here too? Yeah, she's in the water. She's dead This is my new favorite movie That's beautiful and I should tell you John We do have a way for our listeners to immediately score things on the podcast to tell them if they were better and

Tested out of the water People really love that way. Wait testing out of the water into the boat. I'm sorry. I heard that rock people do not like It was testing out of the water into the boat. I'm sorry I heard that wrong. People do not like that. It was testing out of the water. Oh no, John's weeping. John's using his weeping. John, it's OK. You became the riddle. It's a self-fulfilling profit.

I didn't let it finish the pie. You feel better, buddy? OK, so here's another one. Two fathers and two sons walk into a pub. They all order a pint of beer costing $2.50. They hand over a $10 bill and get $2.50 in change. What did the bartender do? Why did the bartender do this?

How much did they hand over? They hand over to $10 bill, but got $2.50 in change. I know. Each drink cost $2.50. I know, I've heard this one. Yes, yeah, okay, very nice. I think. The way you celebrated was like you figured it out,

but you were just celebrating having heard it before, John? I know this one. I fucking know it. I heard it before. I think I know it. John walks it up with you and is like, yes, I've seen John wake one and two. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna know this. Two fathers and two sons, they all walk into a bar. A pub. A pub. Okay. Oh, so it's, it's, it's, they're in England. Yeah. It's pounds. They all, they all order a pie to be in paying American currency. They order a point. It's 250 a point. They give a 10. They get 250 back. Mm-hmm. Why do the bartender do this? Two of mine. Sounds like they paid for three drinks. Yes, correct. It's because they're all priests discount Catholic discount. Catholic discount. Is that exist? Who knows? Everybody knows it?

I don't know. I don't know. You don't know. I think you'll be able to get this, Dan. Not so sweet of you. But before we get there. Before we get there. Dan Adel, I want to see you to do a scene.

You're going to be doing a scene. Ryan, let's make you a barkeep. You two are priests. You walk into a bar and you're trying to get the barkeep to give you the Catholic discount. Hey, what's up? Oh, what's up fellas? What can I get you? I've never seen this before. Thank you. It's so nice to meet you. I am a fellow, just a common folk. This is my brother in Christ. How are you doing, my child?

I'm doing well. He's from our cork precinct. Precinct is what us precuse. Do you see our guns, our badges? We are. We don't know. You guys don't have to be so weird. What can I get for you?

Well, first, we do want to check. Are there any rabbis here? Anybody else here expecting to walk through the door? No, no other religious figures in here right now. Just you guys. No rabbis. So we can let loose. All right, well then we can put our guns away.

Yeah. You bring the guns to protect you from the rabbis? Oh, yes. We kind of like cops, but it's also kind of like likeins and vampires yes but anyway we're looking for a couple of waters well well well what do we have here two priests without their ghosts you lied to a rabbit keep a rabbit to us stick it to the sky father rabbit a bit of it take it easy wait, these rat bastards have been after us for years.

But today, let me just, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me just get you guys a couple of drinks, full price. And we'll just talk about this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Free wine? Free wine? A rabbi's only weakness. Free wine. You don't have to pay for it, rabbi. What a deal. rabbi, just wanna hold you, this is... Just grab those bullets, grab those bullets. Free bullets, grab those bullets.

Ah, free bullets, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Guys, guys, I do not want another holy word. Okay, can we just have a drink and discuss this? Okay, okay, okay. a drink and discuss this? Okay, where's your allegiance lie? Yes, you have to pick a sign. I'm, listen, I'm the Gaza Strip, okay?

I'm just a simple bartender. Gaza Strip, what are your brothers and sisters name? I don't know, I don't, I, I, I shouldn't have used that. I don't know how to say this stuff. I don't know enough about the situation. No, it sounds racist and correct. Let's hear it. Yeah, let's see. Let's see. Don't know enough about the situation. No, it sounds racist and correct let's hear it

I don't know who's gonna be mad at us Well, I plead against I do like a rabbi versus priest rival I immediately saw that in my head I saw the like high stakes like film stand up And it was shot just like the Boondocks saying. It was very cheesy. And my head was very West Side Story. It's like a little dancing. That's great, too.

I think they have plenty of options for the film. I'd love to see the rabbi with the, what are the curls? With little blades, like razor blades on the other side. Like tap, like tap, You like tap into the knife. Yeah. You've also stumbled upon the secret to this podcast, which is that we do premise improv, and we never get to the point.

Yeah, you're right. And also that we're always angry. We've never tried to get this cap. I really appreciate you guys trying to leave us back to what that premise was. We quickly abandoned that. Nice to be in the first place. All right, so does anyone think they have the answer to father's two sons?

Yeah, I think Yeah, okay It's I haven't gotten a single one yet This sucks, but I think it's because other people get them and you feel frustrated I think if you weren't frustrated you'd get them. I've been thinking about this one for a while Should we build your confidence back at you? Yeah, no, no, I don't need it thinking about this one for a while. Should we build your confidence back at you? Yeah, no, no, I don't need it.

I can't give you a hint. You landed upon this. The hint is the whole fucking answer to this red all. But yes, there are only three pints that they've ordered. They all order a pint, but they only get three. Girl, come on. So it's one of the kids is under 21. I think it's granddad, Dad, and Son, right?

So it's only three people, but they're two fathers. Two fathers. I would have never gotten that one. I would not have gotten that one. And I think I've also heard it before. So those chickies. That was one of those chickies. So one of those chickies.

All these are those chickies. These are all these chickies. You guys all knew the Twitter was? Yeah. I just feel like there's a lot of one person answering and then everybody who said they knew one thing like yep. I think the next one I think it should be same time everybody says what the answer is. Or and then after that we do one where we can't move on until Dan gets it. Sorry, listen you'll be forced in the fires.

Okay, well, we'll try it out on this one. This is a little bit of a longer story problem. A night watchman at a gas station had a weird 24 hours. Yeah. Already great. Is this like a submission for creative writing? Yeah. Oh, so this is part of the personal email that I asked Everd listener

to tell us about their day. So we can do the dream in the middle of our herald. A night watchman at a gas station had a weird 24 hours. He had a dream that one of the pumps where he worked had a leak and the next person who pulled it in would cause a spark which blew up the station. When his boss arrived, he told her about the dream. They walked over to the pump and sure enough there was a leak at the exact pump the boss shut the pump down Thank the man for bringing it to our attention and then fired him on the spot. Why?

Oh, why not? Mm-hmm and the answer is the boss is a woman. I think I know. I think I know wait There's so many words. Yeah, I don't remember any of them Let me so that's the story problem. Let me try to give you the gist. Yeah. Night watchman, gas station, had a weird 24 hours, had a dream that one of the pumps where he worked had a leak and the next person who pulled in would cause it to blow up. When his boss arrives, told her about the dream,

they walked over to the pump, checked it, there was a leak, boss shut the pump down, thank the man, and then fired him. I think I know what, but to eliminate one possible answer that I'm also waffling on. Okay. All out. Did the boss find, the boss did not find evidence at the leak that it was caused by the employee, right? Correct.

Yeah. The leak was not caused by the employee. Got it. And intense and purposy. Because he's not, oh, I think I know. Oh, I don't know I feel like if Dan knows I'm gonna go to my friend

Well, did he sleep through his whole shift? Fuckin' A, he slept through his whole shift Very good The Night Watchman, Night Watchman, means to be awake I've been sleeping on the job Even though he had a prophetic dream and saved lives, countless lives He was still fired and that's fucking capitalism yeah they were probably

robbed the whole shit can we all go around we'll just start with me going towards Aaron ending with Ryan and let's just all get Dan like a compliment oh you know this is my least favorite thing I thought it was gonna be nice. I thought it was gonna be nice. I thought it was gonna be nice. Damn, I thought it was gonna be nice. Damn, he's circles. Yeah, it's a circle part.

No, because I wouldn't care with this group, but when groups of people, when groups of people that know each other really well, I was supposed to do it, and it gets to the point where people were like, you know, you just always, you're always smiling. You're always smiling. And it's like, oh, that hurts so much. What do I love about you?

You're a good, bad, you're a good, bad, yeah. So much of my life with you guys. Have a great summer. I'll just say that. You're so selfless. Keep being cool. When I do this, when I do this, like at the end of like improv classes or something, I always tell people

to give someone a compliment based on something that they did not do in class. So like make up something. And that's what you give the compliment. Because I fucking think the compliment circle thing is so weird. Everyone's always like, you know, especially like a class, we'll be like week eight and someone will be like, and what's your name? And it's like, that's the reason. Yeah.

And you can feel it when it's a person everyone likes. And it's like people are like jumping on top of each other to compliment them. And then it gets really hard. And then I get up there and people are like, um, cool, slight chance. The best name. I want to see you seen with Ryan and Aaron. You two are a couple. You are celebrating your six months of dating and you are out for a nice dinner, nice Michelin dinner. And what's a hot spot in LA?

What's like a, I mean, that was the best, yeah. Serial best, yeah, and for six months, you're gonna give each other some compliments at dinner. Great. Oh. Oh. I can give you a minute.

I can give you a minute. Thank you so much. Sorry, we were just looking at each other's faces and gun. It's been six months for us. Yeah. There's months today. There's no need to bring me into this.

Hey, I really love how you handle things with that. Waiter, just now? Yeah. What else do you love about me? Oh God. So many. I mean, a lot, you know, because it's been six months of. Sure.

What's one specific example? I guess when we're out with service industry people, you're so kind to them and I think that means a lot. Maybe not an example like from tonight, but from like the whole thing. Okay, well I did one, I did one, right? Maybe not sure I'm from you, right? Because we both love each other. I love when you, when you do the dishes. Or is that my ex? No, no, no, that's you. That's you. You do that.

Okay. Good. What about me now? It's just so hard to pick. Right. It's a good thing. Because there's too many of them. Sure.

I love the way your hair is. I love the way your hair is. Oh, here's why. I love the way your hair is. I love it, the way your hair is. And I, oh, oh, here's one. You Google the best. What? You Google good.

You always find the answer a good fact. Oh, you do know what Google means. I Google good? Yeah. Well, no, I went. Have you have any, I mean, you know, because this is a, you know, what's my first name?

What's my first name? Diane was a princess, your name is Beth. I knew that. You got that one. What's my last name? Princess. I'm sorry to bother you. Now, my employee, my waiter here, came up to the table.

He gave you a minute. He backed off to show some respect. We have one rule in this restaurant. We're a fine establishment. We do have Michelin stars. We have an laminated placard here. The one rule, which is, do not bring up Princess Diana. Wow.

Now you'll notice we've omitted all Elton John in the music Playlist why yeah because she was the people's princess Well, and I just want to compliment you on the way what that way you came over here. What do you do? It was beautiful. No, thank you. It's just what a manager would do. Okay. What's his last name? Yeah, what's that? Seed. Seed. Seed. Seed. I'm talking about that.

I do love coming in as a waiter and saying, I'll give you a minute and then be like, don't bring me into this. Yeah. Saying the first line of the scene. Yeah, I love it. Like every improv scene in a restaurant with Summy walks in immediately as a waiter.

And then when they're asked the question, they're like, I wasn't prepared to do a scene. I was like, this is a disposable character. New the audience couldn't imagine a restaurant without seeing a waiter immediately. Well, I had to be on stage. Yeah. It's been three minutes.

If somebody went home without my French accent, like, Hi. This next one is from Aaron, A-Aaron. I've also heard that I say Aaron wrong like I should it's like Aaron and Aaron are different sounds also regional. Yeah, like I'm from Boston We say it like my name ER and EH R and and the other one is like air John. How does North Carolina pronounce the... Aaron? Aaron? Where, uh, Ryan and Dan, where are you guys from? From California.

Arizona. Yeah. Uh-oh. Aaron Zona. I get a little bothered when people are offended that you say their name wrong. It's like, well, just have some self-confidence. You know how it's said. It's okay.

I said it wrong one time. Is it really rude today? A little fucking favore-j-a. Yeah. My last name is pronounced Cohen, but it's CO-A-N. And we got the clue. We got a clue. We got a clue.

But people pronounce CO-A-N wrong all the time. And that gets us equal. What do they do, cone? Cone, cone. Yeah. And it just couldn't possibly bother me. But people are like, oh, I'm sorry. Did I get that wrong?

And I'm like, I have also gotten cone in once before That's that's an extra in and that's cool People call me the people's princess So this one is from Aaron and the did it out okay, it oscillates twist bed and chair and a bi-weekly clearing comes to bear. Fan. Usable seat sheets and stuff to wear, what is it? I'm gonna have to hear it again. It oscillates, Twix bed and chair and a bi-weekly clearing comes to bear.

Usable seat sheets and stuff to wear, what is it? This is obviously something that Aaron wrote themselves to so If we want to use their real name Aaron to call them a fucking idiot We absolutely can. I mean there's so much to do with Bed and chair and like sheets and bedding is it something you'd find in a house? Yes, you would find this in a house in most houses in most houses I would I would say in most houses and it's not a pillow twist I mean

zero romance Romance and that's not romance. I'm not romance couch I Just love the couch romance Two couches falling in love is that what you're pitching? I was falling in love on a couch what I was thinking was like people would be like Netflix and chill, but that's like too much of code for fucking.

So it's like cow tro-man. Is this gonna make some cow tro-man? That's like married couples Netflix and chill. I mean, to me. To me. You fuck your cow. Yeah. All right, I got to see a scene.

Dan, this is all play. Dan, you are going to be hanging out with your boys, and you're going to be talking about your couch romance that you had last night. Well guys it happened. No kids. Uh oh. No well. Uh oh.

Yeah. You guys have been trying to get it going for a little while here. You and Jamie right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well Jamie and I had some couch romance. Oh walk us through it.

Walk us through it. Okay. Well we're sitting on the couch, if that's why. How close are you? How close, sir? She and I? Yeah.

Obsidant. No, no, no, just in general, how close are you? Oh, very, very. I've told her stuff I haven't told you guys. I hate to be a jerk, but Jamie is a person. Sorry, yeah, Jamie's a person. Oh, okay. I just don't want to be a jerk.

Oh, well, you're being a jerk. I know what to say. You just sometimes, like, you're like, you make a big deal and you're't want to be a jerk. Oh, well, you're being a jerk. I know what to say. You're just sometimes like you're like, you make a big deal and you're like having sex with a pillow. No. Yeah, I'll have to get excited about it. No, no, no, it wasn't that. So this is about Jamie, like a person.

Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah, okay. So Jamie's like, hey, I think I'm ready to take this to the next level. Yeah. And she's not your sister? You're being a real jerk. Yeah, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. It's just Alexander, can you not assume

that I fucked my sister, or a pillow this time? I can feel like something's about to give, and I'm just nervous. No, no. So I'm like, yeah, let's do some more. Yeah, we'll try our amounts. Yes. And she's like, I've never heard of that.

I'm like, wow, that's what it is. So, you know, I ends up. Oh my God. Her, you? What's that? Her you? The couch? The couch cushion? The cushion. I ends up the couch cushion.

And you're still at opposite ends and where it opposite ends. She's now moved a little further away for some reason. She's sitting on the arm. She's sitting on the arm of the couch. This is Jamie, not my sister. Alexander is your sister in the room upstairs. And so I start getting romantic with the couch. Yeah, get to the deep. On the couch or with the couch? With the couch. So I'm off the couch and face to face with it's

Unzipped and Jamie's just sitting there. Well Jamie is now standing and moving further back But I get it though. You're starting to start the romance with the couch maybe Jamie. You're showing her you're good at it Yeah, you're riding the pump prime. Yeah, I'm saying like this could be a man. Yeah pretty soon Yeah, so this could be a relationship with the This yeah, so this could be us, but you play it. Yeah, exactly And that's what I that's what I muffle. I said that to her all my fault But you said it was Now my head is really

Yeah, you're going down on the couch fucking your kind of lingus. What's that? Fuck your couch just math stuff Just math and Christians and once I had in math stuff the catch has done nothing for you. No, well, yeah, and that's always the way it is Seed No, no, no, unseed Classic Chicago unseen. This could be you. Oh, boy.

I'll do that. It's my big, not unseen, but my big and problem is after an edit, still saying the line I wanted to say. It's a real insight and proverb. I'm still going to finish this even though everyone decided to go out. No offense, you missed the edit. I had a great line.

What people in Chicago do when they want to do that is whoever ran across the stage to edit they just go Oh, I see your neighbors jogging oh Yeah, yeah finish the line and walk off. Yes, and audiences go we paid for that The lights coming down is not the end of the show. I'll tell you when the show is I'll stay screaming in the dark No one has had the answer to this riddle what do wedle. I forgot the room fucking a couch was not the end. Oh It oscillates twix bed and chair and a biweekly clearing comes to bear usable seat sheets and stuff to wear what is it? I

Dressing dresser dresser pajamas. That's that's my that is my clean laundry. Yes. Oh You are absolutely correct. The answer is a pile of laundry. This also tells us something about Aaron and that they keep their laundry between the chair and me tells you a lot about me which was that that I immediately when it said it oscillates between bed and chair. I was like that's my laundry. The word oscillate through me to fan. Cause fans oscillate. But for me, it's when I need to sit in my chair, I put my laundry on my bed,

and when I need to be in my bed, I put my laundry on my chair. I have two weeks worth. And you're eating just anything for breakfast. Yeah. One way I never do is take responsibility for my life and clean up. Absolutely.

Does anybody put their laundry away right away? Never. I have never put my laundry away. I do want to see a scene. John, you are yourself at home. And John, the character, pick it up. I'm going to discuss himself. And we're going to have JPC is your, what do we say, couch and chair or bed and chair? Bed and chair. Bed and chair. So JPC is going to be your chair. Ryan's going to be your couch and they're vying chair. So JPC is going to be your chair. Ryan's going to be your couch and they're vying for your laundry.

So it's going to be a little push and pull. And I guess this would be vacillating? Not vacillating. Okay. Dr. F**k in dictionary. Alright. Alright guys, got four loads of laundry that I did over the course of four hours today. Oh yeah.

Definitely not going to put it away. So, you could just slap those loads right on me. Oh, well. Yeah. No, that isn't icing for me. I mean, you sure you want to cover your whole bed? I mean, covering your whole bed, then you can't lay in it. What about just putting it upright in a chair?

OK. Both of these are really good options. OK, but those clothes are clean. So they smell pretty good. It's true. But it's about me, the floor! Okay, floor. I haven't swept you since I moved into this house, so... I know, but if you're not gonna put your laundry away, I might as well really go for it. I feel like it would be too disgusting for me to put my laundry on the floor in the condition that I let you get into and I I take full ownership of the fact that there is so much dust and dirt. I know who I am Come on you put your ass on me all day put the ass of your pants on me, baby

Okay, how about this? What if I split my laundry between you guys while I go out for the day? No, I'm all in nothing. Yeah, I want that load Yes, give me one sock It can move but twist but not separate it never separate. Okay. Okay. Well put it on me. Okay. It's clean laundry You haven't washed these sheets and I want to say months, so it's never in fact It's gonna the balance out the smell if you put the clean laundry on the dirty bed Okay, you know what? This is too much pressure for you. Why not just go back in the hamper? You're gonna ride back in the hamper, baby!

Already more dirty clothes in there. Mix them up, mix them up. I can't do that, hamper. Oh, you're slagging by the fucker. Oh, you're sweet, a trash can outside. Don't let me mean me. You're in the kitchen. I can't put my laundry under trash can't from outside I'm in the kitchen. What is it? What do you mean your roommates room? Wouldn't that be weird?

He could probably fit into some of my Princess in the mix you're not supposed to put jeans in the washing machine, but in me. I will listen dirty clothes when I used to tour in bands. I would put put them in the kitchen. Put them in the kitchen. Put them in the kitchen. Why is that scene so bad anymore? Guess you'll go slower. You know what? I'm just gonna...

I think I'm gonna put... I'm gonna put the laundry... I'm gonna actually put it away to... It doesn't matter. And we cut to John in therapy with Dan talking about his issue. Yeah, so my fucking house won't shut up. And I know it makes me sound crazy, but they talk to me constantly, and I just don't know what, I don't know,

I know it's psychological, it has to be. Yeah, do you think it's possible that there's some other problems you're not dealing with? It's not actually about the clothes. I have zero, no, none of, I'm sick of this therapy shit, I think it's possible that there's some other problems you're not dealing with. Absolutely not. Absolutely not about the clothes. I have zero. No, none of... I'm sick of this therapy shit trying to make me think that there's more going on than

there is. And as the scene... The shame. Bring your clothes in here. And as the scene continues, Dan, you're going to start to slowly try and fuck this shame. See? Unseen.

Unseen. Unseen. Unseen. Unseen. I don't know. I don't know. I would I would have bet a hundred dollars that Ryan was gonna say it's me Yeah, awesome. Thank you so much for being on the chain You all got a riddle a piece Everyone did. So I walked out walked all walked all. Um, would you like to plug anything?

Our listeners would love to know what's going on in your neck of the ring. Um, well, you can follow us on Twitter at Big Grande. You see B is a good place to start or it's John Mackie or it's Rosenberg. True. I don't have a Twitter, but yeah Yeah, it didn't go off Twitter. Oh, come on. Can you do me a big round? Can you Google me?

Yeah, you, nothing. Can you Google me nothing? Still zero results. It doesn't even give you a suggestion. It doesn't even say did you mean or anything. No, it's just like there's no chance you know anything about. But no, big, epic round of UCB. Yeah, the teachers' in our improvised podcast that is on Stitcher Premium. And you can get the first

five seasons for free on earwulf or iTunes. And you can see us at UCB if you live in Los Angeles, John and I perform Friday nights, the group called Winslow and around Form Saturday, 10, 30 with the group of the dragons. I will say, well, listeners, you just heard them obviously, you know, they of the dragons. I will say, well listeners, you just heard them, obviously, so you know, they're tremendously funny. I will say that the three of us have talked to JPC, Aaron and I, and we do feel like if you are an improv or you're wanting to get into improv, your guys show the teacher's lounge

is probably the best example of yes and I've ever heard. I think every single gift is used, everything that's yes and constantly, not like who we do in our show. No, no, no, no, no, no. But I think it's like the absolute best, if you want to learn how to do it right, listen to teachers lounge. And it's the absolute best examples of yes and I've ever heard. I can't listen to it in public though, because I will laugh so hard.

Because I think your idea, I'd throw my headphones on. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And of course we do one more thing, so we'll start with Dan going towards Ryan. And we're just going to say plug something in your home state. Plug something in my home state. Yes, air.

If you're in Tucson, Arizona, go to EEG's, double EEG, double E. It's the place you want to be. It's a fast food place with a very male, heavy sandwiches, but they have these little ice sl flush drinks that are really good. We can vouch, we've had them. You can get an eG there. If you're in California, check out Inan Outburger or the beach. Both great places.

If you're ever in Columbia, North Carolina, population 801, you can check out the Scuppernung River Walk. It's a boardwalk through a swamp. And it stinks. And it's falling apart. But yeah, you can do it on horseback. If you're ever in Indianapolis and you're a goddamn teen, go to the Glendale Mall and do not buy anything. Oh, just walk and bother people.

And Boston go to the legal seafood in Logan Airport and when you get bored of that do a walking tour of all the filming locations of the departed. Which probably exists. Legal seafood? Yeah. What does that mean? That's the name of it. Oh, it's a chain too. Which just feels like an overcompensation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally legal. Lobsters are kids. Yeah. If you ever drive and you come up to a sinuses, now entering Kiwani, Illinois, you're going to want to toss that puppy in reverse. Go right back home.

Don't slow to a stop. Yeah. Yeah. Roll your car into reverse. Grind the gears. Tokyo dress. Yeah. Head right back to Gillespie.

It's the way through. In Aaron, if you're ever visiting our solar system, do you have a recommendation? Let's do it today. Bye forever. This has been Hey Rural Rural. Created by Adolf Refin. Starting, Aaron G. And John Patrick Collins. Payton Snyder, busy headed in.

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Whatever it is, thank you, Ed. That was a hate gum podcast. them, whatever it is, thank you then.