Hey Riddle Riddle - #60: Floor Soup!

Episode Date: September 11, 2019

Attention Riddle High Students! This episode contains chair talk, snakes on a plane, founding father 'raps', even MORE J.P. Riddles and the introduction of our favorite new segment: Erin's Animal Corner! Grab a stool, face your bed and watch your spouse listen to this weeks Hey Riddle Riddle! #WiddleWednesday #chairtobestupidStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here.

I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. I'm gonna be right here. Is that one fun? Yeah, sure. That was a- A riddle dude? Of pleasure. You know, like when you're- It's a cockadoodle, it's cuck a riddle. You know, like when you fuck a riddle in front of its spouse? What's a spouse of a riddle? Lot of people thinking puzzle.

A puzzle? Hey, riddle, riddle, the cat and the fiddle. Can we have a teach in the sense? I've jumped over the moon. I'm a riddle, but my husband's a puzzle. Can we get a teacher-shirt to do this? Says riddles can fucking get it. Good morning, everyone.

Good morning, everyone. That was like a cool morning announcement. Good morning, everyone. We're recording this episode at 6 a.m. Once will be Salisbury's steak with a side of Tabertimes. We are skipping B period today. B period. Yeah. Well, that's when famously, when B's today. B period. Yeah.

Well that's when famously, when B's, I forgot time of the honey. Yeah. Yeah. The top of the hive. Hey guys, nothing's changed since you came. Since you last were here. And I'm JPC.

And you're listening to Here in the Riddle. Podcast about riddles and three people with personality disorders Old man puzzles this morning that would be Adder of I Zadi old Zadirans himself Zaddy Rify Daddy daddy do Daddy we can't wait. Oh big daddy Daddy do. Daddy, we can't wait.

Big daddy. Let's get into some just because it is 6am. Cut. I must be lonely. Nobody talked to me until I've had my coffee. Nobody talked to me until I've had my riddles. We've done that one, right? Oh, we must have.

Nobody talked to me until I've been cut-holed. Have we done that one? Have we done that one? Probably. Don't talk to me while I'm being cock-holed in. Wait until... Or talk directly at me, look directly at me. That's something that's good for me.

Because it's a sex thing for me. I'm getting, I'm getting a great time doing it. I'm in a great time. I went to my, my friend, you know, Patty Roles. Yeah. He got a new apartment up in, I can't remember what area he is in, but anyway, he got a new apartment and he wanted to show me the place and it was fantastic, but in his room, it's like a pretty small room and there's like a bed

and a rug and closet space and then weirdly in the corner, just like crammed in there, can barely move is a stool facing the bed and immediately I just laughed and he goes, what and I go, is that where you sit while your wife cuckled, and he goes, what? No. What? It was like the most sincere answer and I was like,

oh dude, I'm joking. Do you have a chair in your bedroom, either one of you? I do. I have a little library in my bedroom. Okay. And Aaron, what's your chair? So I had a rocking chair for a long time and then I recently replaced it with just like the soft, nice chair that mostly I throw laundry on to.

A laundry chair? Yeah. Any chair in a bedroom becomes the laundry to. A laundry chair? Yeah. Any chair in a bedroom becomes the laundry chair. Exactly. I have three chairs in my bedroom. What? I have a desk chair. I have a vanity chair and then I have my big chair.

And you're okay. I have a really small bedroom. My roommate gets mad at me that I've put too much furniture in there. Sounds like it. Yeah, it sounds like you've waited too much. Let me ask you this. Are any of these chairs used to be a vand chair, or any of these chairs facing your bed? Yes.

Which one? I'm the big chair. The big chair is facing your bed. And you sit on it and look at your bed? How do you just use this for laundry? I use it for laundry. I also, sometimes my roommate, when I'm sitting on my bed, will come in and she'll sit and she'll talk to me.

In the chair. In the chair. Got it. You can say a few words, you stories. She reads me stories when it's thunder and lightning. I'm chair. In the chair. Got it. You can say a she-re-g stories. She-re-g's me-story's when it's thunder and lightning outside. No, you can't get this leave. And Adel, the chair in your bedroom, facing towards your bed? Nope, face is the TV.

And again, it's in like a little nook. And the nook has four bookshelves in the corner. So it's like four bookshelves form a corner of my bedroom. And then in the middle of it, at an angle, facing the TV is a recliner. And you did it all for the making. I did it all for the library. No, to you.

That's correct. This is my new place is the first place I've lived in maybe since I've had so set. Oh, well, well, you've been. Since like high school, I guess, because I had a TV in my room where I do not have a TV in my bedroom anymore. Because I was like, no more TV in bedroom. I don't want to watch TV in bed. I want.

But that's the best to fall asleep to something. No, so I fall asleep every night to my Google Home sound of rain. When I say good night, it turns off all the lights and then plays the sound of a thunderstorm. I've been doing this for like a month now. I fucking love it. It's so great.

How much is a Google Home? $100. Can I tell you honestly? Yeah. Nature's free. It rains all the time. Nature is not free. Nature's free. No rains all the time. Nature is not free. Nature's free.

No, actually nature's not free and we are ruined again. So the Amazon is burning. The real reason I bought the chair is because I thought, I'm going to sit into this in this chair and for like 20 minutes every night I'll sit on my phone and do phone stuff in this chair and then keep it plugged in over here. Who's smart? So I'm not on my phone. Smart.

But I have done that one time, and I've had that chair for several months. Wow. And you had the other two chairs famously because you started to do improv scenes in your room? Yeah. I was set before bed. Yeah.

So I asked this because I was a friend of mine, who I don't believe listens to the podcast, but they will remain nameless. I was seeing their apartment for the first time, much like your situation, and they were showing me their second bedroom. I'm sorry, this is their primary bedroom. They had their bed, and I could,

Are you coming off air who this is? Yeah, of course, and I could see their bed in there, and then I was just walking back, because it's like when someone gives you a tour of their house and they're like, this is the bedroom, you don't like go in and like look at their bedroom, right, because it's their bedroom. Will you be honest with me, did they say

this is where the magic happens? No, they didn't, but they are. They are a magician, and that should help you get it. No, but they, I looked in from the hallway, and there was their bed in the corner, and then there was a chair facing directly at the bed, and I like, I didn't say anything, but I wanted to be like, what the fuck is this chair for?

Like, what is that chair for? why chair facing directly towards the bed? What was it for Elijah? I think so. I mean, I'm my friend is Jewish and he does have many empty chairs for Elijah His house Elijah might not just want to say the dinner table. Elijah is a you know busy He's got stuff to do Elijah in the bedroom? Elijah in the living room. Why not? Put Elijah in the bedroom? Elijah is in the bedroom. He can be Jewish at any time. Can I say it's correct?

But is that not weird? That is very weird. But Aaron also has a chair facing her bed and the roommate conversation thing kind of makes sense. Yeah, it's for company. Yeah, I guess it's for company. So she doesn't have to come and sit on my bed to talk to me. That's fair, okay. But this is a friend of mine who it's him and his girlfriend. Like,

they wouldn't need to, they could both sit in the bed and talk. Could they read someone read in that bed? I guess so, but why not just turn it the other way. There's a window, like face it towards the window or the walls. Oh, sweat dribbled my balls. Oh, these bitches crawl. I completely forgot this is a riddle podcast. I just want to put this out there. This is the greatest riddle of all. What is with my fucking friend? It is chair-facing the bed. You turn into, you really sign felt of that.

What is with my friend? Okay, there's a friend's sign felt. I want to see you seeing. Can I just say, I want to hear from the listeners about this as well when this comes out. Please tweet at us at HeyRiddleRiddle. Is that our Twitter? I think it's HR or podcast.

Oh, it is Hey Riddle Riddle. It is Hey Riddle Riddle. Yes, it's on the email. I never say the name of our Twitter. I don't tweet myself. So at Hey Riddle Riddle, if you hashtag, chair to the bed, hashtag, chair to the wall.

Hashtag, chair to be stupid. Charity. Hashtag, chanemy stupid. Actually, has it a charity if you're giving away a chair? Charity is fantastic. Hashtag, Chair to be stupid. Charity. Hashtag, Chair to be stupid. Actually, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag,

Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag,

Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Hashtag, Anybody has a friend who always says, this is where the magic happens.

I want you to take a video when they show you their bedroom and say, this is where the magic happens. I want you to immediately launch into, yeah, because you made your wife disappear. Record that, put it on Twitter, hashtag, I just lost a friend. Oh my God. All right.

If someone says, ever says to me, this is where the magic happens. I'll just point to my penis and say, I have sex with my penis Oh, I do want to say speaking of bedrooms just from Wic I just Gem and I just adopted a cat and it's we got a little kid and I'm brisket Nam brisket name brisket. So yeah official name is Pod cat pod cat was Rob White suggestion and honestly the funniest of them all

But we already have a cat named fries and we wanted to stick with food themes so now we have fries and brisket and out of the three hosts we have three pets and all of them are food yeah that's true and JPC you can't for gastro-nomical morale reasons you can't ever meet my kittens all right yes I can't I can't meet your kid me AT I can't get your kid I'm gonna get a chinchilla named. Brito. Ham sandwich. Ham sandwich. Chalada. And chinchilla. No, I want a chinchilla named Gulada. Oh, yeah, that's from a fans mail her a chinchilla.

Yeah, mail me a chinchilla. Poke the mail full of holes. Oh, oh, oh, God, you pokeoked the holes while it was still in there. Oops. Um, that was nice. How did you puzzle that started getting it fired? I was stabbed to death to Jill in the mail. Yes.

Headgunned is, has sent us several emails that will drop us from the network if we don't do puzzle. Here we go. We're going to do some warm-ups, not very many because, but it is 6, 15 a.m. So here we go. I sizzle like bacon. Bacon. I'm made with an egg.

Bacon. I have lots of backbone, but not even one leg. I peel like an onion, yet still remain whole. I'm long like a fishing pole, but I fit in a hole. What am I? This is one thing. This is one thing. Can you read it again, please? Yep. I sizzle like bacon. I'm made with an egg. I have lots of backbone, but not even one leg. I peel like an onion, yet still remain whole. I'm long like a fishing pole, but fit in a hole. Embryo. What was your answer to?

Embryo. It is the Nirvana album in Udra. Aaron, you are 100% right? It is a snake. Woo! Isol, like bacon. Sssss. The S sound.

That's... When you bacon is made, you go, which is the same sound as a snake. I have not cooked bacon in a long time, but I do not think it makes a snake sound. I love that you said it like Bill Clinton. I have not cooked it. I did not, fuck that bacon.

I want to see you seen. Aaron, you're going to be a snake. JPC, you are a flight attendant. Great, and what's the scene? I got your snake ass and Aaron. Snake's don't have asses. Bucky, you seat bells. So this will be a literal snake on a plane. And Aaron, JPC, I just want you to be a flight attendant

who's maybe a little concerned about a snake being on the plane. Great. I'm so sorry to bother you. I'm so much sitting in my seat, I think. Do you mind if I just like sit in another seat? Actually, ever since 9-11, everyone has to sit in the seat that they were.

Oh great, then can you just help me? I just don't want to bother the person who's sitting in my seat. Can I see your ticket? Yeah. Okay, so this isn't a plane. Can you imitating me? I'm sorry. Are you imitating my voice?

I would never do that unless you were from the south and then I would do that to meet you at your level. That's true. People do that. Oh. Okay so I'm looking at your ticket and it looks like this isn't a ticket to be on this plane. I mean it is, I'm 18B so.

Uh, yes. Uh, you- Squeak, squeak, squeak, I'mak I'm 188 can can please can I switch this? Well, you're actually in 18b you're in her seat. Oh, I'll find another one squeak. Sorry, that man's shoes need oil. I'm a clown! Is there anything else that I can get you to make you more comfortable on the plane? So maybe like a blanket. Okay, so your cold blooded you actually need? Just like for cozy purposes.

Can I have like a whiskey too and maybe some pretzels? How old are you? I'm... You have to be 12 to have pretzels. I'm 12 days old. This is your tenel speaking. We're going to take off in five minutes if anyone's not supposed to be on the plane.

What's this? South West flight. Oh my God. I'm sorry, yes. Yes, yes, what? You're a peeing. Oh, I am. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Well, now we'll have to get a blanket to stop it. Sorry, I'm just a little too big for my skin and here we, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah I can't just clap out of your seat. Vanny's from heaven, baby do be. That is my favorite end to a scene we've ever had. It was just air as a snake scatting. Sing it in your room. Here we go, another warm up. I don't know why it starts like this, but it says, hey, what's up?

They don't touch when you say touch, but they do touch when you say separate. What are they? Magnets. Cousins. They don't touch when you say touch, but they do touch when you say separate, what are they? Magnets. Cousins. They don't touch when you say touch, but they do touch when you say separate. What are they?

Divorce. Mom and dad, why aren't you touching? We're getting separated. We're getting separated. Mm-hmm. They do touch when you say separate. Can we have a hint? Oh wait, a boxer in his corner man.

No. They don't make sense though. They don't touch gloves. No boxing referees has separate. Touch gloves now separate. I wanna see a scene. I don't, okay. You two are boxers in the ring

and you're like historical, great rivals to each other and things are getting a little too heated. Where are we? Here we go, Duke's up. That's my name. Round one. Duke's famous boxer, Duke's up. You never should have stepped in the ring with diamond pop cord shrimp Joe.

I'm going to clean your clock, Duke's. I'm going to clean your clock. Diamond pop cord shrimp Joe, you better, you better get ready to have that jowry set because I'm going to break it. I hate. I'm going to make that jowl like a Kit Kat and break me off a piece. Why are they fighting? Give us a second.

Give us a second. We haven't seen each other in a while. Yeah, we'll catch you again. I'm good. House Carol. Carol Carol is good. Great. Yeah, she's good.

Any specifics? She moved to Phoenix. Yeah, she's good. Any specifics? She moved to Phoenix. She's seeing someone else. Okay, it's your sister. But she's doing it. It's okay if she sees someone else. No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

I'm just saying. How is Phyllis? Oh, Phyllis is good. She took the kids to Phoenix. Oh, yeah, she is seeing someone else. Oh, wow. That's right. Well, I forgot that you are my brother-in-law so that

Yeah, but yes, yeah, does it? Brother-in-law, let's do a riddle. We're doing a riddle. Well, that we're doing a riddle. Okay, so if my sister moves the fiends. You got your tattoo removed. Yes, I did. Okay. I used to say wineo forever and now it says oh, wait a sec I love Oasis. And it used to say, what, why are they richy? Yes. You used to say, he says, I am a wine or a tree.

Round two! Oh boy, we got to get some hits in. Oh, speaking of line, Ryan or she? Hits in. Look at this. Hits in on the ceiling. Round three. Wow, okay.

I guess I better finish you. Okay, I guess I better finish you. Up our cut. Oh, and you did. Duck in a mess. How you can- You keep calling them out. How you can-

Think of it as- Okay. Yoga flame. Dukes up. We do this every day. We're two characters in a video game. Much like Black Mirror. Uh-huh.

And the kid who plays us left the controller out of the ground and went to get a pushpump. Hey gentlemen, everyone went home. Well, what? Well, what? Yeah, you didn't fight at all. You've been holding hands and whispering into each other's faces. Okay, and everyone left?

Yeah. So we can be together? Yeah. You stick around. So we can fuck what we have. I'm going to sit in the chair, the facing. Tawagey. Facing this bed in the ring?

Yeah. What did you think of that episode? That was kind of weird. Yeah, but like kind of good, pretty good actors in it. Yeah, brings up some interesting conversation. Kind of like this episode. See. Your hint for this one is. I don't remember the riddle. They don't touch when you say touch, but they do touch when you say separate.

What are they? Think about the idea that you have to say the words. They don't touch when you say touch. But they do touch when you say separate. Oh, it's letters, and that are separate. It is KJ Snyder. Letters. Separate?

Separate? Wait, what? And speaking of KJ, they're giving you a hint in the booth. They don't touch when you say touch. It's lips, it's the band kids' lips. Potlips, touch, touch. Kiss me under the moon, baby, baby. Lead me.

I want to see a scene. By your father's map. We are a bunch of kids who are like 13 and we're at a boy girl party and we are playing spin the bottle. Okay Spin spin spin spin spin spin spin city is my favorite show. What are we gonna do tonight? I Have this I this is probably so stupid, but like it's an empty like glass coke bottle, you know, there's like vintage coke bottle Oh, yeah, yeah, and I thought we'd like maybe lay it on its side and like turn it and like whoever it faced has to kiss The person who turned it. It's not like kind of dumb, but like sort of fun this

I mean it sounds kind of fun, but this is a huge change of pace for you Glad is because you usually want to do coke. Yeah Okay, well, I'm working on that. I found it by accident. Speaking of accident. I love it. Speaking of accident. Speaking of accident.

Remember, like a week ago, and we all found that body on the train tracks by accident. We're not going to talk about it. I am still. Okay. Okay, we don't have to talk about it, but we all did. It was a live body, and it was the first that we killed. Just a guy. Yeah.

So, just it's one of those things I've been doing horrible guilt about between member horrible guilt about stays between us now who wants to kiss Okay, okay, here we go. So we got it. I'm a spin in the bottle Okay, and glad is it landed on you so you have to kiss the dead body because it's pointing the end of the bottle is pointing between The train track back to the vice-vers So you spun it. Mm-hmm. It's pointing at me But it isn't supposed to be like a like a compass like one end points towards you The other ends is pointing back to the train. Wait, can you explain the rules real quick? Just one more time Okay, I'm gonna spin the bottle right now. Okay, okay, whoever it points to your nose is bleeding. Uh-huh, is it?

Okay, that's point directly to dead body of an entrain So kiss it if I'm not sure the rules that you explained now I feel like you have to go to the train tracks and just the body of the person we all killed a week ago I'm gonna be back in 11 hours sitting lifeless in the dump It's right near the train tracks in it can't be It's a body of an animal. Oh, yeah, it was an animal. It was the man who plays drummer Man who plays animal on the muppets Oh, here we go. Last warm up riddle Melissa went to dinner with Andrew George and Elysses

She ate alone, but they all showed up afterwards to pay for it. Why so? They're money. They're money's. They're all paper money, paper machines. She was eating alone at the restaurant, but she can't because she's strong. She was eating alone at the restaurant, but it's okay because she was paying and cash. Can I say something about eating alone at restaurants? No. It's one of life's great pleasures. It's so easy to do. It's so nice.

I've done it a billion times when I've been talking about. What are you talking about? When I've worked in retail, I worked at restaurants alone all the time on my life. Is this like a revelation? No, but I think to me, that's the easiest, most obvious thing to do in the world is to eat alone. And I have, I know so many people who are like, I would never go to a restaurant to eat alone. Or I did that once and it blew my mind.

And I'm like, what? I love eating alone. And I was just in Kansas City recently. And I went to, they have a famous Tiki bar called Tiki Cat, which was incredible. It's like a little speakeasy. And I made a reservation for one. And I went down there and just sat alone and drank Tiki drinks

for like an hour and a half. And the couple down at the end of the bar was like, obviously making fun of me. And like would come like when they walked by they'd be like having fun. I'm like, I'm having a great time. But it's just, it is funny that there's that stigma of like. You know who loves it, who loves it

when you eat alone in a restaurant? Aaron. The waiter. Because they get to have their spot in the rotation taken up by a one-top. And that's great because they make half as much money as they would if they sat two people with the same amount of time.

That, it's so fucking great. For eight weeks a day, so it's not. Well, thank God, but you tip like an asshole. I'm in your dirt and I tip very well. Thank you, very butt. Oh, thank you very butt. I just love that when I was waiting tables and they're like, hey, we sat here and I'm like great.

And they were like, it's one teenager. And I was like, oh,'re like hey, we sat you know, I'm like great And they were like it's one teenager and I was like oh good Shall I make no money this next hour of my life? Where'd you work at oh Charlie's? It's a I was chained it's like Applebee's chiles. It's a chain. It's a chain restaurant. I want to see you seen Japs you are you how old were you when you worked at? Oh, 18 years old 18 Teen I don't try to listen the great best kids. Oh, I'm sorry. Stuff in my face with rolls from the

kitchen. Yep. So you're going to be 18 year old, Jace. Yep. Aaron, you're going to be sitting you're going to be sitting at a in a booth just the just you and Jace, this is actually the last conversation you have with the customer before you walk out and quit. Hey there, we waiting for some other people. I will drop off a water. Hey, um, you know what? Can you just do me a favor? Sure, absolutely. I'm John by the way. Hi, hi, I am Amy and I am sitting here. Um, could you just go through like one by one Each menu item and tell me how it would make my tummy feel Sure, Amy. It's like waters at the top here. What do you think?

Are you so you're waiting on a larger party? No, it's just me here. I thought maybe I would read Okay, I see got your phone out. Maybe you want to Pull up the context and send some text messages, maybe get some other friends in here. I'm good, I have my friends Elizabeth Bennett and Mark Dazzy right here. I'm going to read Pride and Pregnant is here at the table. Okay. It couldn't possibly be your friends. I'm sure of. Well, they're from the past in the past.

Dazzy ever met you. He would walk all over you in order to get to the next least most interesting person in the world. Yeah, because you're right, I'm more of a Jane. You're more of a Jane heir and where I'm saying all of the heir is sucked up from this room. So John, what do you think? What's this? What are these nachos gonna do to my tummy? I don't know. I hope they make you shit for years. John, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, I'm okay. Hey Dan.

Hey. Hey. Yeah. What's going on over here with that customer? Oh, so this is a person who is eating alone at a restaurant. Hi baby. This is Amy and she wants to just talk to me exclusively. Okay. Hi Amy. I'm Dan.

I'm the manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. I'm a friend of John's and I was just here to eat. I just wanted to say hi. Hi. Take care. He's the day of the year. Hey, day, Dan. just wanted to say hi. Hi. Take care. He's the day of the trip. Hey, day, day.

Yeah, go Dodgers. Go Dodgers. Okay, Amy, what's going on? You use a real Mr. Darcy type. You're like Mr. Backup. You're like the, who's the shitty short one who wants to fuck his cousin? I don't know, my temper. Say, I don't know, Danny DeVito.

Here we go. Let's get into the main clues. I'm, Danny DeVito. Here we go. Let's get into the main clues. I'm Danny DeVito one. We're going to get into the main course clues because I'm hungry from that scene from Ocharles. Aaron, I do ask that you give us, so we had our morning announcements. It's now time for first period and I want you to let us we're going to hear a little bell ring right about here and you're going to let us know we're going on to our main puzzles. Okay let us know we're going on tour main puzzles. Okay students we're going on to our main puzzles. Quick reminder to vote for homecoming king and queen so we can know who in this high school is going to

peak early. Have a great day. And we are going to Sarah we are also going to give the kids 30 seconds to do their to do their homecoming speeches. Okay right now. Yeah to present themselves for court. Oh, okay, okay. First up, I like your tie, by the way. Thank you. It was an anniversary gift. Oh, guys, the mic's so on.

Oh, okay, all right, I'm sorry. All right, so first we're gonna hear from Katie. Katie, why do you think you would be a great homecoming queen? 30 seconds go. I think I would be a great homecoming. Yeah. Oh my god. So we get an happy pin.

Katie's smelling up. She ate that damn walka gum. I need a big pin. All right, Katie, but we're dealing with that. Here we are onto a Charlie, a Charlie, or do you think you'd be the best homecoming game? So I think it'd be a dope homecoming queen because by Charlie, choose a queen,

bear through this Charlie, you could get through high school, see. Here we go. These are going to be cases for us to solve, and we're going to go with the first one here. With no apparent motive, a young man commits a savage attack in his neighborhood. Ah, a young man with no parent is truly a savage. Next riddle. Okay. Yes, these are hypothetical philosophies. I'm tired. With no apparent mode of a young man commits a savage attack in his neighborhood,

the man's community knows about the incident, but cannot implicate him. The man's conscious eats at him until he confesses and turns himself in for punishment. Who is the man and what weapon did he use in his attack? The man is Eminem and his weapon was rapping. Lou, do yourself. For the moment, the music, the moment,

the mama's good. I love you, Jolly, you say that. Lose yourself. I was like a 19 for it. I love you, self in the music, the moment, the moment, the moment. I love you, self in the music. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, Zim, think it's scouting you turn into what's up and you box something the ghost uh... this man commits a savage attempt he commits a savage attack

could you read it again no one can implicate hard with no apparent mode of a young man commits a savage attack in his neighborhood the man's community knows about the incident but cannot implicate him the man's conscious eats in him until he confesses and turns himself in for punishment who's the man what weapon did he use for his attack also we have a few clues if you'd like a little clue. Tiger Woods golf club.

It is Tiger Woods. This is before he did it. It was a premonition by JPC's grandmother. Is this OJ Simpson? No. No. Because everybody does he did it. The weapon could be held in one hand or two.

The man led many more attacks in his career, the man went on to become a pretty famous father, the man's weapon was used in his backyard. This is Darth Vader. That's going to be a Jedi stop. I'm joking. Is the weapon an axe? The weapon is a axe. Is it really? It is. Is the weapon an axe? The weapon is a axe. Is it really?

Is it George Washington? The man? George Washington. The crime. Using a hatchet to chop down his family's cherry tree. The line of dialogue he spoke famously? Hey, let me ask you a question. I cannot tell a lot.

Oh, I'm sorry. Let me take that again. I'm gonna pop your cherry tree. You said that to Martha? Uh-huh. I said I can't tell a lot. Do you know that that is actually that whole story is a fabrication? Tell us more.

They wanted to make George Washington more approachable because he dined on the blood of babies. And people were like, that's a no-no, that's why his teeth got all rotten because of all the baby juice. So they call blood baby juice? Blood babies. Hey, blood is babies. Time is money, blood is babies. You can talk into George Washington. So yeah, they made up that whole story. And Abraham Lincoln never had a beard.

That's true. Is that true? Mary Todd was right there. I want to see a scene. You are Martha Washington. You are George Washington. It is the night for your president for the first time. And you're sort of having the Sunday scary.

You're a little bit anxious about what it's like. George, I'm sorry. Relax. Tomorrow is the day that I'm president for the first time. For the first time, what did I say? Did I say for the first time? Did you have a premonition? No, didn't those three witches come back to you?

No, I don't think so. Did they come back to me? I, you tell me. You said the other night you saw three witches, they were saying something about boiling and trouble. And they said that you would be president until the forest came to Detroit. Yes. They said that the forest of Eisen God would rise up and walk to Detroit.

Rise up. That's catchy. I don't think there's anything to it. No, I'm just saying. I don't think there's anything there. Okay. It just must be nice. It must be nice.

You're friends with people. Tomorrow is the day that I'm president and I'm just... I'm in my own head a lot. I'm going to get up there and I'm going to give my address. But I really just want everyone to get along. Can I say instead of calling it an address, call it something else. Your president make up a name. You're the first one.

You're setting the tone. You're setting the bar for everyone else. What's it going to be called when a calling it an address, call it something else. Your president make up a name. You're the first one. You're setting the tone. You're setting the bar for everyone else. What's it gonna be called when a president gives an address? An inaugural rap? An inaugural rap. Let's cut to that. Okay. We're here to swear in George Washington.

Okay, let me just grab this branch. Now let me tell you a little story about a boy like me. I came from England on a boat to these 13 colonies. And when I got off the boat, I said, I'm gonna be your king. And Ben Franklin said to me, I'm gonna die of syphilis. Well, my name's Ben Frenching in a hero to say I fly a kite like every day.

I put a key on it to see what happens all that lightning just keeps up and what's up in Franklin's song I got all kinds of SD's see me and mischievous oh I believe these oh here we go And here is the other one. This is Betzer. I'm Richard Henry Lee and I'm from Virginia. I'm a founder father. I was here too, but no one knows much about me Especially not ever keep. She's a girl who cannot I'm gonna wrap it up because this is an absolute waste of our time. Back to you. Back to me, it's Betsy Ross and I'm first on the mic. Oh, I've got your fourth on the mic.

Keep going, do not stop that. I've got a flag full of colonies. People see me this in Betsy, please. I hope you have a very great day and I will because I'm the maid of America on the original lady. Here we go. We solve the first one. Here's the next one. Here's the case. Here's the case. Two men dressed in dark clothing enter a wealthy neighborhood in the early morning hours. They move quickly from house to house, taking everything they can. A policeman observes the pair, but does not approach them or arrest them.

Who are the men, and what did they take? They move, or... Movers, that work. Movers, that work. Sorry, that's what we were plugging our business. JPC and I are starting a new business where we move people furniture out of their houses into their ex's house.

And I wanna see a commercial. And our slogan, okay, and our slogan is, we take lots of bricks. I wanna see a commercial for Movers that work. Okay, hi, I'm J take lots of brex. I wanna say commercial for Movers.org. Okay, hi, I'm JPC. And I'm Aaron. And this is movers.org. Are you sick of the same frustrating moving experience?

You hire a professional crew, they're fast and expedient, they show up on time and they move all your stuff through the new house, but they don't tell you anything about their jokes or have screaming conversations with their girlfriend on the phone. Yeah, and are you looking for an excuse to talk to your ex? Visit movers.org at movers.org.com and we will slash riddle. Slash riddle and we will move all of your furniture into your exercise in the wrong rooms.

Got their stuff? We'll put it in the kitchen. Kitchen stuff? We'll put it in his girlfriend's new closet. And the best part about it is we will do it while you're significant. Other, ex significant other is sleeping. Sleeping. Sleeping. And yeah, we take a lot of our clothes off. Oh. I love the company's name is moving.org and then you still have to say the website. Movers.org.org.org.org.

I should have. www.movers.org.com. Here we go. We're moving. One more time. Moves boxes of loose bees into your ex-girlfriend's house. It is not. It's not Movers.

It's not Movers. But you're on the right track. Shakers. Two man dressed in dark clothing. It is shakers. The name is Burger Joit. Two man dressed in dark clothing. It is shakers Two man dressed in dark clothing into a wealthy neighborhood in the early morning hours That should be a tip right there. They move quickly from house to house taking everything they can a policeman observed the pair So they are this riddles trash what are they called?

Garbage their garbage There's no there's a word for it. That's different. I forget what the manner garbage men collecting trash There's a trash collectors. Yeah trash collectors. What's the word for it? That's different now. Is there better More than garbage? I trash collectors as a trash collector calm gratters We have great trash collectors in our neighborhood. They're really good. Hmm. What do you mean? They're just like In Chicago? I think in Chicago Chicago they're relatively very good. Do you have a different experience? I don't know that I've ever seen them.

Well, yeah. For a little more hours and they wear all black. They do, they move very quickly. They're also like, I don't know. Wait, Aaron. What? These trash collectors that you're seeing that are in all black and move very quickly, are they little tiny furry things

that go through the trash with little like a little bandit bandit or an ice-ass? You're talking about raccoons and I know what raccoons are because I'm dating one. I know what raccoons are because I'm a bag of loose ones. I'm dating a raccoon who's a maid and he keeps bubbling things up. Speaking of raccoons, we're going to take a quick commercial break to hear from a real sponsor, but somebody should buy that website you all mentioned, just to put up a picture of a record in a made-out fit.

And this is speaking of records. Oh, Internet sometimes is good. Life be bonkers. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble.

I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Attle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online.

Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like a online store that could set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing.

I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too, obviously. Whoa, that website. The pranks I too love you.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, with.

You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Adel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go's back, she's back. Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that?

Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. How do you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s,

but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear.

Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and

suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept

of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm.

And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp-h-e-l-p.com-riddle. R-i-d-d-l-e. R-i-d-d-l-e, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the United States. I hope you get home. Bye, I am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app, Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Mm-hmm. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season.

Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money will quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rock. Stop. Clink, clink, clink. Stop. No, clink, clink, clink. Stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, Root on Root! Zeterans. A young girl is abandoned by her family. Yes. She befriends a group of social outcasts and joins the gang. After learning of the girl's whereabouts, her family finds her and poisons her. The girl slips into a coma, but does not die.

What is the girl's nickname? And how does she survive the poisoning? A girl, a young girl, is abandoned by her family. She befriends a group of social outcasts and joins their gang. After learning of the girl's whereabouts, her family finds her and poisons her. The girl slips into a coma, but does not die. Is this Snow White? This is Snow White, surviving the poison by getting a kiss from Prince Charmaine.

What are the dwarves' deals? Wait, her family poisons her? I thought it was that witch. Is the witch or family? Is the witch or family? What are dwarves in that universe? Are they like sleepy grumpy, stupid? They're social outcasts?

So are there like other dwarves that live in like dwarves in society? But why are they social outcasts? I don't think they are, I think they just work in a mine. Is it right? Has their door, like are they magical creatures? Oh, he has a job, he's a social outcast. He spends 40 hours a week at his job.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just want to talk about how Snow White lived in a house with seven other men. Not men, dwarves. I miss read this. They listen to outcast. Oh, yeah. Hi, ho.

Hi, ho. So what makes, so what makes... ...tours over the back end? Dude, I would love to see... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Never meant to poison you to sleep. Let's see a scene. Yes. We've done snow white scenes before. I know you never. I know you never. I know you never.

A million of them. A million of them. A million of them. A million of Estevev. So what I want to see is a scene with snow white, but it's snow the Canadian rapper who sings in former. Oh my God. Arendy, do you know this rapper?

No. Okay, we're going to move on to the next. A British subject takes a nasty tumble and is never quite the same afterwards. The subject's story is chronicled by a female poet and becomes one of her most famous works. Who is the subject and what is the poet's name? Humpty Dumpty, Subtunnel Wall, Humpty Dumpty, had a great fall. All the Kings, all the Kings, men, couldn't put Humpty together it had a great fall all the Kings all the Kings man couldn't put Humpty together again boobs Why do we fall master Dumpty so we can pick ourselves back up? Oh, you're egg you're dead

You're crushed in the patient Humpty it is Humpty Dumpty and it appears in whose nursery rhyme the Queen of swans mother in whose nursery rhyme? The Queen of Swans. Mother of lumps. Mother of swan lumps. Father of lumps. Oh my God, I know we heard from JP Riddles recently, but we gotta see.

We gotta see a swan lump. You're not gonna be. Mother of Guss, JPC, you're gonna be Mother of Swan. Okay, no I have to. We do JPC, our JP Riddles, great, great, great, grandmother. And she is very simple. Has to be Mature X-Won.

Mature X-Won. Mature X-Won? Yeah. I'm read wanting your new little fairy tale poems. No, I don't read one of my Fager arc. What did you say, Fager arc parents? Yes, a fake story. Sorry, I just woke up.

I was taking a nap. I was making this model airplane and the glue put me to sleep and I took a little airplane nap. Why do you live in a big shoe? We just watched you fill the shoe with water and throw a toaster into it. Okay, now, the question on the table

is as a stand, is why do we live in a big shoe? Because would you want to live in a small shoe? No, that would be uncomfortable. It's a big shoe perfect because it's got lots of room. And you know, why are you making that fork in that spoon kiss? I'm actually not. I'm making this fork get spooned.

The fork's a little spoon, the spoon's big spoon, regular spoon spoon, spoon fork, and then this is just a little thing I'm trying out. Is it true that you got all your stories from a nightmare world that you entered into behind that tree over there? Partially true. What's it called? I did take a spin around that tree,

a big coconut fell in my head, and now my whole life is a nightmare because nothing makes sense, and every four or five words, I get them all jumbled around in my mind, so it's a huge nightmare for me. You think those possums hanging in the tree are coconuts? I know they go coconuts for being called possums because I call them that and they say we're trashcats and they scratch at my face and they

try to climb down my throat and that is coded language because I did try to eat one of those possums. Why are there bread crumbs leading up to your shoe? Are those bread crumbs? I'm makingupe. So those are good times. Okay, can you read one of your new poems? Yeah, I'd love to read one of my new poems. You got a favorite that I can read for you kids. Can you read the one about Jack and Jill? Oh yeah, okay. Jill was wearing a jacket to the theater because she was cold. And a boyfriend bailed was like, I'm cold too, let me get that jacket and she said, if you were cold,

you should have thought about that before we left the fucking apartment and gotten your own jacket. Do you say, listen, Mariah, if I knew that was gonna be cold, then I would have brought a jacket. Do you little Miss Muffet? Okay, little Miss Muffet. Little Miss Muffet sat in the fucking theater. She was where that jacket an old JP riddles was stewing mad because he was cold as hell. He wanted to get that fucking jacket on

Do Mary Mary quite contrary. Oh Mary Mary. That's a personal favorite of mine Mary Mary quite contrary started screaming in the middle of Hobbs and Shaw because JP riddles was that jacket off her her and said, I'm cold too! Do Bob-Bob Blacksheep! Bob-Bob Blacksheep! Well, I'm off the fucking jacket so I think if I paid cash money for that... Do you think it's a song of six pins? Okay, so, whole GP Riddles are sitting in the back of the six-pits police car

And he's screaming at the guy because it's too cold in the police car He can't wear his jacket because his girlfriend's finishing Hobbs and Shaw wearing it. Mitriya. Uh-huh. Swan. Yeah? Can you end with three blind mice? That's my favorite.

That's our favorite. Absolutely. This is my brother. He, um, he doesn't have organs. That's okay. You got pipes on your chin. Just piano. He told me to end this.

All right, three blind mice. Hickory, dickory duck. Three blind mice went to the doctor. The doctor said, you're all fucking blind. There's nothing I can do for you here. I'm an eye doctor and you're too far gone. And they say, we're not too far gone. We got cataracts.

And he goes mice with cataracts. Well, you got yourself a problem because my dogs are barking. And my feet hurt. And he's like, well, you feet should hurt because you live in your own shoes. And then he ate a big batch of floor soup that he was making up for earlier that day.

And he called his girlfriend who was still at odds and trauma. Without him, he said, I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry I screamed. And I went right to voicemail. Can my brother try some of your floor soup. He's very sick. I'm gonna take a nap down here in the dirt.

You guys go ahead and wake me up when it's Jesus. See, oh boy, floor soup. That killed that all. Amazing. An extremely muscular young man in excellent health. Hercules. Hercules. It is not hercules. An extremely muscular young man in excellent health goes to bed. Hercules. It is not hercules. An extremely muscular young man in excellent health goes to bed with his girlfriend one night.

When he wakes up the next morning, he's still healthy, but has lost a lot of his strength. A short time later, he commits a terrorist act, taking his own life in thousands of others in the process. Who is the man? And what happened to him? Sam sent him back to bed, and I'm a chair upon his head. He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed. This is my other goose. That was correct.

Samson's hair was the key to his strength. What did Samson do? I don't know. Samson went back to bed. He ate a slice of wonder bread and I'm a chair upon his head and went back to bed. What was the terror tactic committed? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't books. I've got about us. The Bible didn't mention us. Oh, sweetheart, you're singing about George Woods. I've got a lot of history books. I've got a lot of history books. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one.

Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one.

Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. I don't know what Samson's the whole deal was. Let's see a scene. Adelweer gonna see a scene. You are Samson. And what was it?

Was it Samson and Delilah? And Delilah has cut off all of your hair. And it's the day before you had something really important to do. And we'll see that scene. Oh. Good morning. Good morning, sweetheart. Don't forget.

Good morning. Tomorrow's the day I become the first president. Yeah, good morning Oh Greece Babe What do you want? Look at the mirror What?

Look, I look at the mirror Did you buy a mirror? Do you know how expensive those are? I know but it's sort of just like you know how we've been in a prank war for several weeks now? Yes I famously sold my watch to get you a comb and you famously put your hand in water so I paid my pants. And speaking of water, just bring me a bucket of water. I'll look at my reflection. We've been doing that for so long.

Why buy a mirror? Water is nature's mirror. Here's the water. Okay. And look at the water. Sorry, got a little thirsty. All right, well over to the mirror. We're going to go.

Great. I feel like a weight spin lifted off my shoulders. Why are you laughing? Babe, I got you so good. Over to the mirror you go. I feel like a wait spin lifted off my shoulders Why are you laughing? I got you so good. Oh say that again. Baby. I got you so good. Just drop this so good. I got you. Yeah That sounds like a fun song Martha my dear. All right, uh, and your name is Samson. My name is Sam song and Sam's Okay, and you are auditioning for Greece, correct?

Oh, yes I am. Okay. And you're auditioning for Sandy? Kinniki. Kinniki. Good, good, love you to play Sonny on Chris Ooh, he's got a screw ball makes a lot of noises like that Well, now I think that you're more of a putsy. Okay, that could be happy days. I think you're from Pussy. He's like a home-marked card. Oh, see. Mm-hmm.

Oh. I'm home. I'm home. I'm home. Here we go. This is a good segue. So I'll just the same part of your phrase. This is a good segue going off of here.

And I just, I didn't plan it this way. Just so it happened. OK. A bald male opens his eyes and finds himself naked in a small room full of people he doesn't recognize. A female grabs him and starts to hit him before he can utter a word. He is shocked and bursts into tears. Who's the male and who's the female?

It's a baby. He's a little baby. The male is a baby and the female is a doctor. Mhmmm. And it's this in parentheses 2019. Does it really? No. She's burping him?

You all are crushing these. I am in a riddle mindset. Ask me any question. I'll know the answer. That's not a riddle mindset. Do you think Darth Vader was our first president? Yes. Next question. Come on. Come on. They just don't have to be right. Correct. Yeah, they don't be right. I just know what your favorite flavor of ice cream. Vanilla, baby. How how how how did it is it in this room? Probably like a 70 is three degree. That's all is Mitch. Mitch is six seven. How many eggs is too many eggs? Four or five. What's a baker's dozen? Eleven people in a room eating a full dozen eggs. What's

a cheaper by the dozen? A cheaper dozen is a bad movie that's an American treasure comedian made. Steve Martin made when he shouldn't have it. He was also a remake of an earlier movie. He got- What's a bulldozer? I don't know. What's a bulldozer? I'm gonna guess.

It's a bull. It's a bull. In there, a bulldozer. Go ahead. What's a bulldozer? That is the same thing as I just said. What's a bowling for Columbine? That is a documentary that was made about a horrible tragedy that should have been the

end of gun violence in this game. What are combos? Combos are probably a fast food thing. Like from Taco Bell or McDonald's, next question. That's going to be, stop. You think combos are a fast food thing? Yeah. You think combos? Combos are a fast food thing? Yeah, you're gonna say combos. Combos or a fast food thing?

What are combos? And more combos are like this. When martial artists hit somebody up in the air and they keep hitting them before they hit the ground. Combos are pretzels filled with cheese. Yeah, I remember right now. I was like, gatherin' a bag. What a fall from Grace.

Okay, and so. You told us to ask you any questions. Aaron answered 13 questions. Let's see it up on the leaderboard She got zero answers and now Aaron is saying that's 13 reasons why which is a Sort of a bad show on Netflix not that good good actors in it But it has a really bad message who are some good actors the Kate Walsh who was on uh... the kate was who uh... was on uh... it was using uh... girls trip and she uh... is in uh... great anatomy she's very very likable and i like her

so we asked you for some good actors you said one person i don't give a show in a brine d'arcy james isn't it mhm my uh... great singing voice yeah mister brine d'arcy james brine d'arcy james trick himself and in the morning, Aaron, we're making... We are going to make references to Shrek. And the morning we're gonna make references to Shrek. I do wanna see a scene. That's a T-shirt.

I wanna see a scene. I'm going to be Shrek. JPC, you're gonna be Donkey. Okay. Aaron, you're gonna be the gingerbread man. And we're just gonna do some references from Shrek. Hey um I'm from what I said oh my god drop buttons! Get in my belly! That's a quote too don't you remember any quotes? I want to fuck a dragon oh no is that uh show me

the money show me the money. Yeah, good one. Okay What are some other ones? Okay, so I'm so I married an axe murderer onions have nipples Focker Kidney milk of parfait Say hello to my little friend She she got gun oh Say hello to my little friend cocaine cocaine she got a gun? Oh, to my little friend. Go, game, go, game, go, game.

Go, game, go, game, go, game. The 13th of her name. Go, game, go, game. See. Go, game, go, game. Well, 13th of her name? No. 16th of her.

16th of her. Are donkeys the ones that's from a horse? No, that's a mule, never mind. Are donkeys the one from a horse? I'll take my question off there. I went to the zoo this week. Uh-huh. Can I say something about zebra?

Yes. Smaller than you think. How small? Pretty small. You think they're going to be like the size of a horse, or just like a little smaller than a horse, and they're itty bitty. Oh no, Aaron, you saw animal crackers. Oh, it's an animal crackers.

You ate an animal crackers. This actually takes us to Aaron's animal corner. As we heard about the zebra, it's smaller than you think. GPC and I are going to, just like we did moments ago, list animals and Aaron, you're gonna give us a little song Fact toy to buddy, Twine. So let's start with an elephant. -♪ Ooh, they're pregnant for 24 months.

-♪ Emo. -♪ Emo, more like emotions. Emo's don't show emotion next. Okay, that wasn't a factor or a song. Sort of. Don't slow down. Yeah, don't show a motion next. Okay, that wasn't a factor or a song. Yeah, sort of. Don't slow down. Yeah, don't slow down. Pig.

Pig is a super smart, but we eat them. F-f-f-f pork, a JPC here, the voiceover, and airing here the vocalist. And ad for pork? So this is what I said. Pro pork, gotcha. Bacon, it's one of the most delicious foods in America. But where would America be if we didn't do bacon? Pigs are super smart, but we eat them. Get your kids around them, and then feed them. Feed them to the pigs, and then the kids will eat the pigs.

Feed the kids. Feed the kids. And we're going to stop real quick. I'm sorry, she's third up. You're no rich. I'll do a great. You're great. Diane.

What's up? You said we're going to have people bring their kids to the pigs. The pigs will eat the kids. And then the kids have people bring their kids to the pigs. The pigs will eat the kids and then the kids do the pigs and feed the pigs to the kids. Go back to the starts. Kids to the pigs and pigs to the kids. Kids to the pigs and pigs to the kids. Kids to the pigs and pigs to the kids. I didn't know what we were saying.

I'm singing a lot and I don't know where it works. I don't know where it works. I felt like you're in the peak. Give me another animal. Let's give to them. Well real quick, before we move on, I do want to say that we're going for a campaign that suggests that if you eat pork, you're going to be smarter because we know pigs are smart, but we eat them.

Eat pork, because kids are smart, and the pork ate the kids first. Wales. Wales communicate with each other in the water through the voices. Next. Owls. Owls awake at night. This is my favorite segment we've ever done. Mice.

Mice are super small and they fit into your wall. Rats. Rats are also small but they like to go inside. Moose. Moose. Moose. Moose. Moose, moose, moose, moose, moose are much bigger than you think. Squirrels. Squirrels.

Squirrels. Squirrels are pretty nice, but don't beat them because they'll come back too much. We need an alternate for moose. Moose is the plural of moose is mice. Who's in your wall? Let's see. I'm tired. Oh my god, that's my new favorite thing. Sit, you wall! Let's see. I'm tired. Oh my god, that's my new favorite thing.

Oh, I think this show should just be that. That could be a, that's a Patreon episode. Please subscribe to our Patreon because- Now everyone knows I don't, I don't know anything about animal. This new game is called Bump Set Aaron. We do have, basically what our Patreon is, is us doing that for longer.

Yeah. But sometimes we have Jack Hannah in. Or what's his name's kids? Babies, that's right. I think we have time for 100 more riddles. 100 more riddles. Here we go, here's the case. Bill finds himself in a very dark place

surrounded by a variety of precious metals. He has had a very busy day. He spends his time in a taxi, visits a new stand, stops by a corner deli and goes to the movies. He doesn't know where he will go tomorrow, but he will probably go alone. One is after all, Bill's favorite number. Who is Bill and where is he? Bill finds himself in a very dark place surrounded by a variety of precious metals. He has had a very busy day. He spends time in a taxi, visits a new stand, stops in a corner deli. He has had a very busy day. He spends time in a taxi, visits a new stand, stops in a car, a deli.

$1.00. $1.00. $1.00. $1.00. $1.00. And he's an cash register. You all are fucking, I thought these were pretty good, and you're crushing this.

They are good. They are good. I am just so smart today. We are zined out and zoned in. We are zoned out and we're zoned in. And we are ready to move your furniture into your ex's apartment. Do you have an ex?

Are they strong? We're out. But are they sleeping in week? Then call us movers.org.com-slice-reel. All of my ex's are going to be able to go, yes. Are they sleeping in week? Yes. I do want to see a scene.

Aaron, you're going to be Snow White. You are just waking up. TPC, you're a Prince Charming. And while Snow White was sleeping, you have done exactly what Movers.org claims date will do. OK. Ah. Wow.

Thank you for kissing me awake. Sort of sexist and outdated, but I'm still grateful. Cool. Well, in my defense, I didn't think you were going to wake up. Why is your good fellow's poster? Um. You know? Is that a map of Middle Earth?

I love good fellows and I love Danny DeVito. You know, big, big fan. Yeah, it was just a Boondock Saints poster. Yeah, go ahead and list some of the other posters that I've got up. I'll do a quote from every movie that you list a poster for. Boondock Saints. Fatter. Forgive him for all the killing.

Look at all your dirty clothes are on the ground. I don't know that movie. Why is it so much fluff in here? Those things, okay. What's that? Why is all your stuff? Why is our stuff in our house, baby? Did you move all your disgusting stuff into my apartment? No, I wash my towels.

The smell is that- You wash your towels with what you say is your clean body. So you take a shower and you say, I'm clean, I rub the towels against me, which makes them clean. Well, I work out, I say no pain, no gain. What wash is close like gain? Vis-a-vis, vice-a-boo. That took me a second. So, yeah.

Okay, what's this about? Baby, this is our stuff. This is our apartment. This is your stuff. This is like gross. You were sleeping for a long time. What? We got married.

That is. You forgot because you fell asleep. Super weird. Can you make me floor soup? Say, please. I'm sick. I'm sick. I love this. I love this.

I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this.

I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. I forgot to ask DPC earlier you did a scene where you talked about somebody being cold in a movie theater with a jacket You named the one of the people in the couple Mariah. Is that an incident that happened to you too when you went and saw Hobbes and shot? Oh, I'm so sorry. Let me explain improv to you. You fucking idiot and improv we pull

Details from real life and use them to inform the scene and make it sound more real So when I was thinking of chiming into that last scene by saying no tea pain, no criss-gains, based on using the phenogen, is that improv? That's good improv. Yes. That's good improv if you could make yourself a waiter. Ding, ding, ding.

I've got a personal question. What is something that all of your exes have in common? They all live in Texas. All your exes live in Texas. Something that all of my exes have in common. They all live in Texas. All your X's live in Texas. Something that all of my X's have in common. Yeah. Anything? They all have proper names,

first name, middle name, last name, and I don't remember any of them. I remember every other one's middle name. All of my X's like musicals. Oh, see that's the kind of answer I was looking for. Thank you, Adam. All of my Xes have siblings, never dated an only child. Cause you want an option, right?

Yeah, Aaron, what about you? All of my exes thought they were funny. Like we're sure. So thought they were funny, they weren't funny. Some of them were, some of them were not. But they all thought that they were. They all were sure they were funny. The Sean't funny some of them were some of them were not but they all thought that they were they all were sure They were funny the Sean is Sean sure he's funny. Yeah, oh my god. Are you kidding? We'll be about that name all of my all of my blood

All of my exes are from the United States. Mm-hmm. They have a day to someone from another country. Oh, I dated people in Australia when I was in Australia I was speaking of Australia Aaron spiders Well, yeah, I panicked. It's really exciting. Great, let's go into our plugs. Spiders got made of everything. Right, at Spiders. Rhino's got spon, yeah. Rhino's got Spiders with Spiders.

Rhino's got the last dog. And we want you to check on our Patreon. We have a Patreon, you're going to Patreon.com slash Hey, Riddle Riddle. It's $5 a month for that. Boyle boy, you get so much content. We already have, I don't know, like 30 episodes backlogged you get us our live shows You get a new show every Friday we have our D&D campaign episodes out there

There's four of those that people seemingly love so please check that out also comes to us at world news tonight Every Saturday at I.O. Chicago. We don't know if all of us or any of us will be there but we will try and come say hi afterwards. I met a lot of really nice people last night. Some homemade, hey, we're to Rital Merch, that was amazing. Which we do not endorse because just go fucking buy it. There's post potato shirt that I love. Which we can do too.

We could do that. But it was, I was the only one at World News last night and everyone is here. People were pissed. But it was, it's so nice meeting you guys, so please come out. Yeah, Aaron was the only one at World News last night. The rest of the cast also did not show up. We were in the audience. We told the wearer prom dress that covered World News.

We don't pig's blood on her. Wait, pig's blood? I gotta call somebody. I also wanna do a quick, my annual checkup with Dr. Recommendations and say check out what we do in the dark on Hulu, which is, I'm sorry, what we do in Chattas. Yeah, I can buy that with,

I can buy that with RU, for the dark. What we do in the Chattas, which is one of my favorite movies of all time is a TV show. It's on Hulu. I thought this first season was fantastic. So check that out. Great. Yeah, you can follow me on Instagram at Shark Parkman.

You can follow me on Twitter at JP So Fly. I was in a board game store the other day. And I think this is a listener, so shout out to Vicki. But Mariah and I were in there. We were looking for two-player board games. You can say Target. It was, I'll give it a shout out because it's a local board game store in Chicago that are really loved called the Dicedo Joe.

If you're going to buy board games, buy them locally because it helps support this local business. Dicedo Joe is really cool. They have a board game library. You can go and play board games in their store. Very awesome. But we were walking in. We bought a game called Bergle Bros, which I also recommend, because it was very fun,

but we asked a person who was helping us, and then they said, you look very familiar to what I know you from somewhere. And I was like, I don't know, maybe you've seen me at IO or maybe we could have worked together, I don't know. And they're like, no, are you JP so fly on Twitter? And I was like, oh yes, that's me in blah, blah, blah podcasts. But the way that they asked was, they said,

you look very familiar, which is never something that I've gotten from... As your profile picture... No. Your face? Well, yeah, I think maybe it is, but it's also like, your profile pictures are so small on Twitter anyway. It's like, that's, it also, you would probably know me from my voice. So they just know you from following you on Twitter?

From the shows. From podcasts. Oh, from where? Okay. But it was such a weird way of saying it that it surprised me, voice. So they just know you from following you on Twitter? From the shows. From podcasts. Oh, from right. Okay. But it was such a weird way of saying it that it surprised me. So I didn't say like, oh, my name's JPC. I was like, oh, John and I perform or it was very, it was very odd. That's great. But also go to Dice Dojo because they're very nice. They're in the head. Great recommendations. Cool. Here anything to plug? Follow me. Aaron keep 10 on Instagram. And if you want free tickets to any of the shows, I'm in message message me on there and then also I have a web series coming out that all

promote there and Aaron you give me free tickets to a public execution the other day Mm-hmm. It was great. Yeah, would recommend fantastic. Amazing. And for our last song, uh, planets. Jupiter. Skimmy-dibby! Bye forever. Hey, this nighter is the enemy. Now I'm already parrying in the mid-medium. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey you