Hey Riddle Riddle - #61: Fun At Songs!

Episode Date: September 18, 2019

Hard to believe we're in our early sixties! This episode brings a 'Him's A Ghost' tv pilot, gas station t-shirt creations, a bunch of shout-outs to Seattle, all the celebrity death news you could want plus child tattoo's and jaded Transformers! Oh also Erin tries to get us to guess her email password which she wants you to also do but probably not? Annnnd Sandy swings by for a bit of summer fun in the Sandbox! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm the right man, JPC! I'm Kiki! Aww, I still love that nickname. I was so surprised when I threw it out there and you looked at it and I was like, oh, I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki!

I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm Kiki! I'm K-snan, JPC. I'm Kiki.

Oh, I still love that nickname. I was so surprised when I threw it out there and you liked it. I think it was literally seconds before going on stage for world news. I go, I found a nickname for you. And you go, what? I go, Kiki, and you go, I love it.

Adal, I love you using nicknames for us on the podcast, but I don't know if you know that you're doing this, but what you're inadvertently doing is letting everyone else in the world call us by these nicknames. Because people now call me by this nickname all the time, like on Twitter. So you want them to call you directly at 815-242. If you know who killed my dad,

call my hotline, and tell me, scruff my ground, the crime dog, who did it? And, was it that destiny made it works at the pound? You sound like me in the morning when I talk for the first time I haven't talked to him. Hi, I'm Aaron. You sound like Guadal from

Thanks for the sex and now off the work Thanks for the sex and now off to work Sorry all I had for payment was that toothpick poking a condom. Sorry, all I have for payment was a toothpick poking a condom. What are we doing? How would we... Anything you say if it's in that boy. You want to try it?

Upside down is my favorite way to live. Upside down is my favorite way to live. I'm so down is my favorite way to live. Pfft. J.B.C. anymore? Last time, I'll say anything you want. Uh, okay. Boston sucks. I hate it and on the drinking water tastes like piss.

Boston sucks. I hate it and on the drinking water tastes like piss. Oops, I was drinking piss. My bad and I'm not in Boston. I'm in New Jersey Oops my bad. I was drinking piss and I'm not in Boston. I'm in New Jersey So the reiterate Boston five me a crazy person Me a crazy person By me a crazy person New Jersey made a piss All right, we're ready. We're ready for what? Old man puzzles show yourself made a piss

Old man puzzles show yourself old man puzzles show yourself old man puzzles show yourself For you at OMP where you at do you ever forget that a new jersey you have to pump your own gas and you jersey welcoming you with open legs boom what are we t-shirts from gas stations now that's sort of our vibe welcome back welcome back to another episode of t-shirts of gas stations I'm going to go ahead and shout out the area of a country where a gas station might be, and you tell me a T-shirt from that area.

So we have the deep south. Keep driving if you're not white. That is exactly the sentiment of the keep trucking. Dot, dot, dot, if you're not white. Aaron, the northeast lots of lots of lots of sort of racist suddenly uh... the midwest

uh... i'm so sorry flyover state like flyover us if you're not white not white the whole country's racist and we need to talk about it the whole country's racist and we need to talk about it. The whole country is racist and we need to talk about it. The Midwest I feel like would be like, oh I'm so sorry. I did the thing that was wrong.

Yeah, oh I'm so sorry, I'm racist. God, everyone is bad. Hey, but at least the Amazon Sunfire. Oh. Are you guys ready for some riddles? No. I kept to not go on Twitter for days at a time because the world is too sad.

And because you forgot your password? Because I forgot my password. Aaron texted me and said, what's my password? And I thought it was a setup for a joke. And so I just kept waiting. And then it had like the dot dot dot on it. What's my password? I just guessed on my password.

You're all wrong. You guessed your own password? Yeah, I guessed it. Do you want to sit on the You guessed your own password? Yeah, I guessed it. Do you want to say it on the air? It. So your password? Yeah. It's addl plus jpc equals fun.

Oh, that's the status password I've ever heard. Yeah. Yeah, that's a very sad password. It might give it away, but I've had the same password for everything since I was 14 years old. All right, let's guess it. Addle, we have to guess it. Molly sucks. 420, 69.

No, it's a reference from a pop song. Bye, bye, bye. 69. But since you were 14, 14, you're 27 now? It's gonna be you. 26, 27. It's gonna be me. So 14, so that's 13 years ago. So we're talking 20. So we're talking 20. 19. 26, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, 27, It is a band that we have brought up a lot on it. We've brought some. Okay, so it's Morin' Five.

It's Morin' Five. And I will be boobs. Yeah, and I will, and I will, and I will have boobs. And I will have boobs. Got this boob, suck, Jagger. You got this boob. You'll never know.

Oh, God. Can we guess what Morin' five, we think it might be? Yeah. Uh, we've done this before. I think we've done all the ones I've, I've, I've said all the ones I know. Songs about password. Yeah, it's the songs about password.

Moving on. Moving on.org. I don't know that song. And we're moving on Pizz. And we're moving on Pizz. Yep. And we're moving on Pizz. And. And we're moving on Pizz. I'm in the middle of the hour.

All right, God. I feel like Aaron, I have to say as a friend, you should change your password often. No. Get last pass. What's last pass? Last pass is a great app. It's a password manager.

This is JPC's tech corner. There's an app called LastPass. It's free and it's a password organizer. It'll, like, you create a master password. corner, there's an app called LastPass, it's free and it's a password organizer, it'll like you have, you create a master password and that is the password that you used to access LastPass and then what? But I guess that password, you're screwed. For sure.

LastPass, it's also you have two factors and occasions so it can authenticate from your phone, but LastPass will like randomly generate passwords for you that are like random generations of letters and numbers and you can go into Last pass and take those and put them as your password. Harder and harder to breathe, 69. It's harder and harder to breathe, 69. No, but it's honestly, most of my passwords are going to be that now, and y'all, I dare you to check. I freaking dare you to check.

And she'll know, because it'll say unauthorized user, bad access. Let me ask you this. Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password to their social media? Yes, and I've gotten it. Holy shit. Holy shit, really? Who's, who's was it?

This happens twice in my life. Is my friend at the time forgot one of her password. She's like, I cannot get in. It was like the student access something that she had to download a class form or something. And she's She's like, I cannot get in. It was like the student access something that she like had to download a class form or something and she's like, er, I do not know. And I sat with her and I guessed like two or three times and then I got it.

Do you remember what it was that you guessed? It was like a, I think it was a 30 rock joke. Like I was like, try this. I wish I remember what it was. I should text her and ask her. I guess I would always guess boobs and I would always guess poop. Those would be the two salt and pooper default that I would guess it was. I should text your an asker. I guess I would always guess boobs and I would always guess poop Those would be the two salt and pooper default that I would guess for anyone that I know

poop dreams I also find it like Really terribly hard to remember someone else's password if someone's ever had to get like I know Moriah's password for her computer like because I've needed that in the past and I It's fine, huh? Well, I've needed that in the past. And I- It's fine, huh? Well, I've needed it. Who's this email? Who's West Elm?

Who's West Elm? Who the fuck is that? Are you sleeping with him? Are you, does he make you come? Who's this mayor Damon? Who's Damon? Does he fuck you? Do you wanna see B2?

No, but I've needed it to, I've told you guys this on the podcast before that Mariah and I, I don't know if I'm gonna blow up my own spot here, but we were trying to figure out a way to play music for spaghetti in the house while we were both using our Spotify accounts and we have a Spotify premium family subscription,

which lets you have four, if you're under the same address, you can haves, and we have a Spotify premium family subscription, which lets you have four. If you're under the same address, you can have up to four people on it. So we just created another one for spaghetti. So we essentially got spaghetti here in Spotify for your immigrant. Did you have a playlist? Is it all three dog night? Recommended for her? I wonder what the recommendation for her is, because it's all dog relaxation music that we play for her.

Can't it's the musical? Yes, it's memories. It's just all memories. Which I guess also is like a Trump rally song, who knows. Anyway, so we have her own Spotify account set up on Mariah's computer, so I have to log into Mariah's computer so I can place Bagede her own Spotify.

What's Mariah's password? What's Mariah's password? It's fuck you don't ask me that question. Is it my birthday? It's your birthday. Can we get it on the Patreon? Yeah, if you should all give all of my banking pass codes and all of that shit on the Patreon. Let's do some riddles. We gotta. It's an emergency. It's an emergency. We have to

take creative by teacher on an airplane and we have to do some riddles. Emergency. So these are some warm-up riddles and these warm-up riddles come to us from a, well, I'll call them a loyal listener. I'm sorry, this is a loyal listener. A loyal listener? Prince Andrew listens? Yes, this is from Prince Andrew. Brings are true. This is from Molly. Molly says that she loves the show.

Love's your show. Is she talking about Hey, Rital Rital? That can't be right. It's all I listen to. I have a show on local access television called Oh My Gosh, It's Aaron. And let's see an episode of, or take you live to an episode of Oh My God, It's Aaron. Oh My God, It's Aaron. Welcome back to Oh My God, It's Aaron. Hi, I'm Aaron Keith. The budget for the show is $30 for the whole year. So like I was saying come check out my new restaurant. It is mostly

pastas. So this guy is a... a chef. No, chef. A chef. A chef. A chef. Sorry, I was going based on your looks. So you are a chef. So because I'm wearing white face paint and a rubber nose, I'm a clown. Okay, sorry. So you're a chef for a... Circus? Circus. Circus chef pasta. What were you saying? Sorry, I am... Hey, Aaron. Yep.

I don't mean to interrupt because I'm the cameraman. But how am I supposed to film this? Do you think I'm the next Jimmy Fallon? Do you think I'm the next like Conan or Jimmy Fallon? You certainly laugh on stage enough to be the next Jimmy Fallon. This sucks! I do not laugh on stage. You have never seen me laugh on stage not even be the next Jimmy Fallon. This sucks! I do not laugh on stage. You have never seen me laugh on stage not even once.

Oh boy. Yes, I have. I know that I have because I perform with you often. I have never laughed. When you're on stage with me though, try not laughing, you know what I'm saying? Okay, these are a couple warm up riddles from Molly. She loves the show. What's that a memory?

Do you remember the show I sat in with LaDog upstairs once? And I don't know. And upstairs gallery? No, at a... Oh, yes, upstairs at I. I was driving a haunted hay ride and you were in the back of it. Yes. I don't remember what the theme was about, but I just remember dying laughing.

Sorry, go ahead, that was a good idea. I do remember that because I was behind you the whole time and I couldn't see you laughing, but I could tell that you were laughing just from the shaking the shaking the shaking of your back. All right Molly. What's the riddle number one? What has pause but cannot walk? Can manipulate time and hear you talk time dog dog Addle time dog the batty hunter is not going to happen. I know you want to produce it

I know you have the money. I know you have the money, but it's just not gonna happen Hey, Addle, we know you have the money. Addle, we know you have the money in the feda movie. I definitely do We know you have the money we addle where the cops we arrested you. We know you have the money Where's the money scruff my gruff. Who killed my dad? No, it's not a time-dog in Aaron. It's not whatever you said. Rocky, talky, pause. It pauses. What has pause but cannot walk? Can manipulate time and here you talk. DVD. It's a what's the T-Gone? Recording device. Yes, it is a voice recorder. A voice remote is it says a voice remote is a voice remote a voice recorder

I guess that's the same thing. I don't are you proud of me. I think it's I am pop up are you proud of me? You hear pop up. Can you solve me? I? I think a voice remote is a remote that I have nipples pop up Can you make me help me A voice remote is something different. It's a remote that actually controls your voice. I actually have one here. So JPC start to talk. So remote that controls your voice. Okay. So this is JPC. I'm talking into a microphone.

And Rewind. What are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like give you the upgraded one this one's from 2019. Can I have it? Can I start? Yeah, here we go. Thank you

Start talking. Hi, my name is and mute and Yeah, and this is and on mute and on you. Hello Aaron talking and turn on director's commentary and this is Aaron keep talking what I was thinking doing this I I was thinking, doing this, was how long can I stay in talking? I just am wondering, I'll start to wonder about what you were doing. And turn on producers commentary? And I just do money. Money, money, money.

Ooh, I like money. I like paper. I like paper. I like the paper. And then back to Aaron. And then this is me talking. Do the JPC function, where it sound like you. Okay, and JPC? And JPC function?. Do the JPC function, where it sound like you. OK, and JPC?

And JPC function? Yeah. And JPC function? Damn it! It would have been so fun if you started talking! Yeah, the audio podcast people would be like, whoa, is that Aaron? They said it was. They can't be liars.

They told them our audiences are babies, and they don't have object permanence. Oh, yeah. Actually, we count on a lot of baby downloads Baby downloads coming down the podcast to bed Subscribe Star rating baby podcast. Oh baby podcast. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You ready for number two. This is this is the second of the Hortam Operatals that we'll be doing today. A father and a son were in a car accident.

It must be nice. My dad wasn't around for a great day. The father died. Oh my God. Boy. The father died and the son is rushed to the hospital for the operation. The doctor who's about to operate looks at the boy

and says, I cannot operate on this boy. Hold on. Why are you doing this? and says, I cannot operate it. Are you serious? Boy, hold on. Why are you doing this? Hold on. I cannot operate on this boy. It is my son. How is this possible? Hint, the doctor is not the mother.

The doctor is his father because it's two men married. The answer? It's 2019. The boy is two fathers. That's yours in the answer. Yes. Thank you, Molly, and thank you for reminding us what year it is. My two dads, I bet you think this riddles about you.

Well, actually, not two dads. Not two dads. One of the dads. What are the dads to die? So it's one dad now. I can operate on this boy. I'm in grief. I can operate on this boy.

I'm also the boy's father. My husband is dead. This is very sad for me. But yes, thank you, Molly, for those listeners that submitted riddles. We love that you love the show. Even if you are wrong, the show is bad. I think I have another solution for that riddle. What is it?

The doctor is the father, but the father of the dead man and it's his ghost. You can't operate because he's a ghost. Wow. Because he's a ghost. I can't operate because he's a ghost. Wham! Cousins a ghost? I can't operate on this boy.

I'm a ghost. And where's my sitcom? Okay, I was gonna say, can we see the first several minutes of the pilot of hymns a ghost. It's a doctor who's a ghost and there's all sorts of shenanigans in this hospital. JPC, you are said doctor and there's all sorts of shenanigans in this hospital JPC you are said Doctor and you are all the other characters Is my name Dr. Shenanigans Dr. Shenanigans, please come quick. I always come quick

Just no just kidding. I'm that's a just what you ejaculate your dad. What's that? You're aren't you a ghost? Yes, I know as a joke Jesus fucking Christ lighten up Dr. Shenanigans. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like go with my wrist. How, you can feel that? I think so. Wow, I'm a ghost. Wait, move this penny across the floor. You move the penny across the floor.

I'm a fucking doctor, I don't move pennies. This is a woman named Penny in the wheelchair. I'm saying move her across the floor. I'm sorry. She needs to go into surgery. She's going into the surgery. Okay, great. Sorry, Penny, here you go.

You're coming into surgery. This is, I'm sorry, I'm just having a day. Well, I guess every day is a day. Dr. Siananigans. Yes? Oh, thought I'd see you around here. It's me. Big dick clock.

Hey, yeah, we're not getting picked up for series. What, why not? Yeah, we just heard from CBS. Why didn't the producers come down? Why did they make this a character in the show? Yeah. This fucked up. Nurse Joe Hansen, we're not getting picked up for series. Why would they make this a character in the show? Yeah. This fucked up.

Nurse Joe Hanson, we're not getting picked up for series. Why would they make us come on set and make a character say this? I always come on set. Come on, Dr. Shenanigan. I'm sorry, it's not a character, it's a choice. Oh my God. Hymns of Ghost. What's he gonna do today?

Hymns of Ghost. Operating, surgery. All kinds of things in a hospital. Ghost man. He gonna do today. Hymns that goes operating surgery, all kinds of things in a hospital, ghost man. I would immediately love a pilot in the middle of the pilot. Someone was like, yeah, we're not getting picked up for series. And then it just takes a turn there and it becomes the whole show it becomes meta.

Like the show is about doctors in a hospital. And then from that moment on on it's about like an actor What can we do to get back? No, it's just it's just about an actor who loses his job That would be amazing. Oh man, right? Isn't that music or something? Yeah, fuck that's what you're supposed to Okay, so those are the warm up riddles and now it's time it's time for us to eat our big meaty sandwiches Edel would you do you can unwrap what's in front of you? Okay, this is a severed head. Oh, okay, so the severed head of lettuce.

Oh gosh, then you sent your son to school with a sandwich. She won't tell us to suck. I bet. Here, I brought a severed head. No, no. No, no. I promised my dad's a mobster. He's a famous mobster.

Okay, right, Tommy, dad's a sandwich. Well, actually, a hoagie is what a mobster. He's a famous mobster. You guys right, Tommy, that's a shame. Well, actually, a hoagie is what a mobster might eat. Ah! My dad's on a mobster. This is just a jersey Mike sub. No, he said my dad is a mopper. He's a janitor. Your dad is a mopper. My dad is a mopper. That's a t-shirt. Okay, so this riddle is titled, Soliciting in Seattle.

Two friends who lived in different well-to-do neighborhoods in Seattle were conversing. Almost every week, I get a few people who knock on my door and ask for money said one, odd, that rarely happens to me reply the other, but there's a good explanation for the difference. What is it? One lives in a condo.

One lives high in the sky and an apartment building, and one lives on the floor level. I can live up high. It's in a book. So take a look at live in Seattle. I can go anywhere. Go to Starbucks. A fisherman's wolf.

So you think it's about the distance? Those are my sons. I miss the son X. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm bone for Howard Schultz for president. I just think everyone in Seattle right now is so happy that he just did that. It rains here every day. We're also sad.

Grunge and plaid. Living see you head. No, don't. I appreciate how funny this is. Nobody moods or breath until we appreciate how funny this is. Nobody moods are breathed until we appreciate how funny that is. Real quick, JPC, gas station in Washington state. This gas Frazier. Got it, Nailed it. This gas, this gas, Frazier. Nailed it. Is this ethanol? No, this gas, Frazier. Okay, okay, okay, everybody listen to me. Seattle is famous for

music coming out of there really cool music. I want this is the first time we're doing this. I want someone to do a cover. I want all of you anyone who's music clean client to do a cover of the song that Adel just sang. I want you to wear plaid in a video or you can just send us the recording of it and we will play some of them on the show. I want to cover- And you're gonna have to be different genres? Of I live in Seattle.

You can do any genre you want, but I want to hear a cover of Reading Rainbow. You want to hear people write a parody song about reading Rainbow. I want a parody song about Addles parody song. A cover of a parody song of a parody song. And Arnie, if you're listening, we want a parody song with a T.

And Arnie, parody song? That's not a parody song. That was so delightful. Do you think if Arnie ever puts up an album that should be called parody songs? Oh my goodness. trademark rion that he has to pay me for it. You owned the thing I just said?

That's not trademark works. That's true, mail it to yourself, maybe. So you guys think that the answer to this riddle is based on the height of the building? Yeah. Fucking wrong. The kind of building they live in. Hmm, maybe yes.

Oh, what has a dog in the front yard? Yeah. Uh, a deterrent. A deterrent. That's also a really good answer. Oh no, I'm sorry. He has a, he has a turt. I have some clothes.

I have some, I have some clothes. I'll give you a close. Aaron, did you get scared from the clothes? I'm scared. I was trying to stop a hiccup. The only way to stop a good hiccup is a bad hiccup with a gun. Oh, I hate this. This is a clue for this riddle.

Do the two friends have similar age and ethnicity? Live in similar single family houses. Well, you said in Seattle, so they're probably both 65 and 1. 65 and 1. Frazier. That's good. Since Frazier. And live in neighborhoods that, though not close to each other, have virtually identical demographic statistics. Yes. So they're statistically like the same. Is the explanation related to an anti-canvassing ordinance that affects one neighborhood, but not the other? No. Really good. Is one living a houseboat on the Pigeot Sound? No, but that's a great answer.

Can the difference be traced to the personal convenience of the canvassers? Yes. The personal convenience? Oh, I see. So I mean, all of these answers are great. Like houseboat, dog, deterrent. That's not what we're looking for.

What this- Houseboat, what is it? Why was that the end of the street? Ooh. The ones at the end of the street? Ooh. That's smart, something might get tired. Is one, let's see, what would it inconvenience? So walking upstairs, if there wasn't a doorbell or something,

but you can still knock. You guys basically got it in a bunch of different ways, you just didn't get it in the specific way. I think I know a bear trap on the porch. Shhh. I know that. With a bear trap on the porch. Someone loves the bear trap on the porch.

I know. And I'll never catch that bear. So in Seattle, I don't know why Seattle Matters here, but it does. One building houses the headquarters of several charities, canvassing organizations. They send workers out to collect money and those workers usually walk from the building when they start canvassing and return to it on foot when they are finished. Only one of the friends to houses

was with an easy walking distance, but that building. I'm not sure if that's like a specific thing to see at all that they're positing. Silly. You think that's silly? I think that's super silly. Do you know what the word means, my dear?

Super-silly. I think it'll be a facetious. Hmm. Facucius. Here's what I want to try. Facucius, sous chef. Let's sous chef. All right, hold on.

No. Aaron, we need to see a scene. You are facucius chef. The sous chef, who, while we're in a very busy kitchen, just hands out little nuggets of wisdom. And you're also in litigation with some other chefs. You're assuming Yeah, and that thing too So my premise and then the other thing about litigation and twin

twin Privacies, you know You know what I think is important we need more donkey live into on four sleep. I Think it's important. Yeah, sleep's always important. Okay, but we need to shut up Todd. I'm coming for your acid court You know you did we did more regga-doh at 12. Don't you regga-doh? Don't you regga-doh That'll be the perfect side to a part of this dish. No worse poison for your body than hating someone else Shut the fuck up Todd I'm coming for your acid. hating someone else. Mm-hmm.

Shut the fuck up Todd, I'm coming for your ass. I didn't say anything. I have no assets. Yeah, but you got a big ass hole. Come on. Okay, we also need more. I told you that in comments. I told you that in comments.

I'm talking to everyone's ass holes and coming for your ass and court. I'm coming for your ass hole and court. Wait, so you can talk about my ass hole, but I can't talk, wait, my ass in court, but I can't, my asshole, how does this work? We got a hoagie on four. Uh-oh, we got a bogey other six.

I'm suing all your assholes. See? I'm suing all your assholes. Oh, Lord Almighty, Bruce, all Lordy. All right, this next one is called, I love riddles with titles, not from the USA. Okay. My favorite Bruce West is.

Oh, I love this song. Bruce Springsteen. Suzy Total of Riddle. I'm standing in a place, this is a riddle within a riddle. Ooh, it's really inception here. Suzy Total of Riddle. I'm standing in a place where I can travel North, South, East or West, and soon me in the USA.

Where am I? It's Mexico. Spexico. After everyone gave up, she laughed. The USA, of course. After a few seconds, someone else spoke up. Not necessarily. The country I come from, for example.

Where was he from? Read it again. So the country he's from, he can't go North East, South or West, Where was he from? Read it again. So the country he's from, he can't go north east, south, or west and come from and be from... I'm standing in a place where I can travel north, south, east, or west, and soon be in the USA. Where am I?

After everyone gave up, she laughed and said the USA, of course. After a few seconds, someone else both got up. Not necessarily, the country I come course, after a few seconds, someone else both got not necessarily the country I come from, for example. So there's another country that answers the same question. Oh. They can travel north, south, east, or west, and soon be on the USA. Oh, I just read about this.

Canadia. I just read about this. You just read about Camila? No, second America. Second America. Oh, is it, what did you say? Second America. Second America.

It's just like 11th season, like Hobbit breakfast was second America. Oh, is that what did you say second America? Second America. It's just like 11 sees and like hobbit breakfast was second America. You, I just know about second America. Second America. Frodo, does you know about America sees? No, I don't. Well, this is a way from second America, I've ever been. So North, South, East or what?

I mean, the answer was said... Canada. Canada, but why? Because if you go all the way around the Earth, the globe you come back to America? And they go west, it's Alaska. Oh, if you go west. There's a certain area probably Vancouver if you go north, it's Alaska.

Yeah. No. It's not Alaska. It's not near Alaska. Is it going all the way around the globe and circling back? No. So if you go north, you're still in America, but you're in Canada. Mm-hmm.

North, you're still in North America. Yes, but this is a place in Canada where you could go north, south, east or west, and easily get to know it's six. Hockey town. it's a hockey town Is it a hockey town? Yes, so as we all know when you're in Canada, baby you're in hockey town Oh, let's see if any of these clues help He was not from the USA, but would he necessarily speak English with a recognizable foreign accent? No Was he referring to dry non-USA land and not an island? Yes?

Could the USA be like dry land? USA land and not an island. Yes. Could the USA be dry land. Could the USA be reached by traveling less than 150 miles north, southeast or west from one point in his home country. Yes. Is it like south of a US embassy or something? Is it like that bullshit? It's not a US embassy question. This is more just like a geography fact. So is it like something by the Great Lakes? So what's on the... Yes. Really really Niagara Falls Niagara Falls Niagara Falls is not I think that's not way close but New York that's right. That's a dead stop Niagara Falls in the United States

To um it is Detroit, but it's it's near Detroit That's it's the part of Canada called Windsor Canada a adjacent to Detroit, Michigan It's directly both south and east of parts of Michigan. It is north and west of other USA states. You wins or you lose some. You win, so you can't adored. Adored or you can't adored. What? You're a Canadian listener. Hello!

Oh, hello. Hello there. If you're from Bemidji. Bemidji, Minnesota, Canada. I really want to go to Vancouver. Have I ever been to Vancouver? No, but I'm dying to go because... Everyone of my girlfriends in high school was from there.

Mmm. So, year one, you're all from my school. You know, you didn't go from there. I want to go to Canada. I'm supposed to have good seafood. I actually want to go first and foremost to Montreal. The last guy I dated before Sean was a Canadian citizen. And he had a Canada sweatshirt.

I was still all the time. I was like, it's sort of on the nose that you have this big Canada sweatshirt that you just have. Maybe he wasn't from there, maybe he was a liar. I'm a older brother, a listener of the show has to go to Toronto for work. He's just telling me. So by the time this comes out,

he's probably already been back. You've been to Montreal. No, I've been to Toronto. Oh, okay. A few times, but Montreal's where I want to go because it supposedly has great food, great music, great, just like a really cool culture. You know what you should do? Go to Montreal.

Yes, but a fun trip, if you ever, like I would take like 10 days and take acid and Montreal. No, just do, because it's so close, just do like a New England road trip and end it in Montreal. Can the three of us do that? That would be really fun. Can we go on tour in Montreal. Can the three of us do that? That would be really fun. Can we go on tour in Montreal? James, can you quit your job? Quit my job to take a road trip to Montreal. Yeah, I don't know why I said it like that.

I love to do that. That's fine. Yeah, sure. That sounds great. How many Patreon members for this to happen? Win, yeah, anytime. Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow. It's ready for another one.

I'll fucking burn it all down. I'll walk away from my life, my family, my kids. I will go to Montreal and my kids. I hope so. I hope so. If not, I'm paying a lot of child support for nothing, Gwendolyn. Send me pictures of them.

If they're so real and they're so tall, they eat a lot because they're basketball playing. Your wife is spider-grin. We were never married. Cool. Actually, I want to do this next riddle, but I also want to take a little pp. So why don't we do this? Why don't we take a little pp break? And in that break, I'll also talk to you guys about some cool advertisers that love the

show. They love the show. And they love you. And then when we come back, we'll do some more riddles. How does that sound? Sounds really nice. P.T. stands for post potatoes, right? We're going to take a break to see who's dead.

What's the celebrity's said that? We'll take a break till check our phones. We famously lock our all the phones in a box of the room when we first get in here because we don't want to know when a celebrity dies because their interups are whole flow. So we're going to pause, take a look at our phones, see what celebrities have died since we started recording,

and we'll come back and we'll report it on air. And it's also because Jerry Seinfeld is doing stand-up in the room. So all of the phones have to go in these little bags. Yeah, yeah. But he can't get it out, and stuff's too raw. Uh, so we will see you back here after a little break for some of these dead celebrities. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal, and I'm setting up a

whole website to prank him. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. we're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience, and so let anything for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Addle, come here, come here, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for.

Frank Square space You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey, JPC hey, JPC. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career

relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therap therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she

means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm.

And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddledle R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the United States to help you get home.

Bye, baby. Am home. Who are we? What is this? Oh, my. Who are we? I think, think, think, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app rocket money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, clink, clink. Oh, sorry, I also want to give a toast.

Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clink, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time, and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over 3 million, clink, cl if anything looks off. Over three million,

over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses. The easy way by going

to rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love you. And we're back click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, clickiefer Sutherland. No, Adel, Adel, he died. Hey, JBC, this will be really not funny if Kiefer Sutherland dies in the next several weeks. Or it'll be a very easy open and shut case for the detectives. Because you were gone for 12 hours.

Yeah, Kiefer Sutherland died. The way that he died was he was drowning in piss. Yeah. Yeah. Huh, so if we can just find an audio recording of a man saying he was gonna go piss, he gave her something that died. No, but keep for some time. Sorry, can you quiet down over there as I was saying, what's the deal with bananas?

Are they wearing a jacket? Yes, they stand recording this. Sometimes they're green, sometimes they're yellow. I'm recording this on my phone. What's the deal with bananas? I wouldn't record this. This is not very good. What else? So where are you from?

Me? Let's just say Seattle. Yeah. The blood of lie in the sky. Okay. This one is called the Ketchup Fish and Make a Wish. You live in Seattle. I was waiting for you to finish.

This one's called Dots on the Eyes. Pupils. Fuck. It's probably Pupils. Hold on, Aaron, give me one second. Let me just jump to the answer here. You don't have to give her. No, no, no, no.

Don't make a whole show of this. No, this is to say fuck you in a really long way. Let's go to this. Dots on the Eyes. He's making a real show of this. He's really crossing the teeth and dutton the eyes. Pupil. It is not.

The answer is not Pupils. And Aaron, thank you so much. I just want to thank you for wasting everyone's time in class today. I'm sorry. And if you have enough time. Oh wait, we're apologizing for wasting people's time. We have to retroactively really.

OK, we have a list of listeners that we have to go down, starting from the top, A. Abramson. Name one listener, I dare you. Keep it to that one. I'm Vicki. Stort my mother. Yeah, all of our moms. We do this show for only our moms.

We're always. We're gonna see how. How, what percentage of? Mom, do I love 100%? What percentage of dead? 55 You can't drive 50 you can't love 55. I can't love 55 You can't love 55. What percentage of your friends listen to the podcast because a lot of my friends don't listen to the podcast zero

I this one or my any other ones like they like not that they're I mean, they're supportive in other ways But my friends are like I don't want to listen to your fucking voice My friend Laurel listens when she misses me. Laurel's off-peltin. She really is caught up. I Laurel, you're my favorite. And I will not take your calls. And then my friend Charlie listens.

He saw JPC on the street. Oh, yeah, that's right. Nice to you. He was very nice. Oh, he's with his grandpa, Charlie Bucket. He's Charlie's. Yeah, your friend Charlie listens. He was with all his grandparents in a big bed

and they were making more people soup at a big stewbush. Yeah, I think those are my two friends who listen most frequently. Other than that, not a lot. No one listens. Someone, so my closest friends don't listen to the show, but my buddy Alex did listen to the episode that we did with Teacher's Lounge

because he's a huge teacher's Lounge fan. And he said something to me that referenced that episode. And I just went over my head because I had forgotten that episode. And I listened to that Teacher's Lounge episode like four days later. And I was like, oh, this funny thing happened on the Teacher's Lounge episode,

and it was very fun. And he was like, yeah, I said that to you like four days ago. I was like, you listened to that episode. He was like, yeah. I was like, you never listened to the show. Like, why would you have listened to that episode? That's great. Um, I do prefer, I sometimes am grateful that

not a lot of my friends listen. No. No, I would like my friends to listen. Oh, really? Yeah. It is funny when, um, uh, so, Mariah told me this experience because Mariah needs to work together, but I don't work at that job anymore,

but there were people that I listened to that at that job and someone said something to her, which was something that she had not listened to on the podcast, but I had said on the podcast about like my life, some like factoid from my life and someone said that thing, and then Mariah got like kind of freaked out for a second because she was like, how do they know that she was like how do they know that like.

Oh, they listen to Hey, right? Yeah, did I tell them that and then like from the show and she was like, oh yeah, JPC just goes on and spouts out our personal business. Here's your dirty laundry. Yeah, just hearing dirty laundry. I really like Arnie Neacamp has a not a rule, but he has a thing where he will listen to a podcast if he thinks he's going to be mentioned on it. Really? That is so funny. But he might have also been joking, but he has a thing where he will listen to a podcast if he thinks he's gonna be mentioned on it Really, yeah, so funny, but he might have also been joking, but I think he does But I know he's gonna get mentioned on it. I don't know maybe if like someone's guessing on something else and I don't know

I don't know what the equation is got. I hope he doesn't listen to this episode Because we did say some pretty terrible stuff about him in the intro. No, there's our new period. Thank God Yeah, they're the same to me only plugging my friends Projects if they listen to the show Wow, that's a good callot. Thank God. Yeah, I'm just not only plugging my friend's projects if they listen to the show. Wow, that's a good call. That's deadly. Speaking of Arnie, and then we can move on.

I started watching what we do in the shadows, the TV show. Yeah. And in one of the episodes, there's a character named Arnie, and then they bring it back Arnie. And then in another episode, there's a character named Chant. Wow. So I'm curious if someone who works on the show, if it's like a sub-chant. There's a character named Chant. It I'm curious if someone who works on the show, if it's like a sub-

There's a character named Chant. It's like one scene, but they're like, this is my friend Chant. Is that even related to? What do you mean? What's that in reference to? Oh, he's a friend. Because I know that you're doing magic to have

when you play Conte Badger, famously. But it's so close to. I think that we should get Hey, Riddle of Riddle shirts that just they cut the badger on them. And they're our podcast shirts. I mean, I will sign off on that. I don't want your signature. But it should be a badger with a vagina for it.

When my mom met you, she was like, oh my god. Because so many people at her job, independently from her, found and loved Magic Taffer. And they're going to freak out when they find out that I met him. When you say people at her job, you mean like kids at the library, right? Yeah, children at the library. And I have a legit question.

So I didn't know your mom didn't listen Magic Tapper and maybe has friends to listen because she had me sign her chest. Oh my God, get out! And I was there, she had Adelson her chest JPC Does that was it my mom well that was a dream that I had well it was Golihan and Susan Sarandon That was somebody's mom. Oh those were the banger sisters. Oh All right, let's do this right off. It's called the banger sisters. This was called the banger sisters

Ooh this one this one makes This one I love this show this one I get love this show. This one I get to play characters. This is my favorite thing I've ever done in my life. Oh really? Yeah. Great. What's your not much of a life? He's the book. You want to keep you in the back? No, stop by. I went to a Aerosmith concert with my dad when I was in eighth grade. It's so hard to play the Aerosmith. with my dad when I was in AIDS crazy. Hearty, yeah, of course. Love it an elevator. Oh, love it an elevator.

He with my dad. They put you on stage. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. And people were smoking pot. My dad was like, that's pot. I was like, I know. The teacher marked you wrong.

Kevin sang out teasingly during school recess. You didn't put dots on all your eyes. Is that so, countered? I mean, also confusingly, Kevin. But you don't know how to draw a small eye with a dot on it, he challenged. Kevin did so. And Kevin looked defeated.

A few moments later, Kevin retorted, well, now I have dats over my eyes and you don't. One glance at Kevin and Kevin burst out laughing. So did Kevin. Half the class did, too. Explain. They drew, he drew an eye. What the fuck does that mean?

Like an eye that you see with. Like an eyeball. He drew an eyeball? Mm-hmm. Put a dot above it. Because he's a smart ass. He drew an eyeball and put a dot above it? Mm he's a smart ass. He drew an eyeball and put a dot above it. And dotted his eyes.

And that would make him, that would people would think that that's funny. You would be a king. Dot on my eyes, Haydor's grave for a night. So wait, so he said, I bet you don't know how to draw eyes. He drew a small eye with a dot and he also filled in the dot for the other guys eyes. I got confused by two heavens.

Okay, I'm going gonna change his name. My name's Kevin. I'm gonna change his name for this word only, too. Let's just say Jimmy and Timmy. It's only slightly less confusing. The teacher marked you wrong, Jimmy, saying out, Teasily during school recess. You didn't put dots on all your eyes.

Is that so, counter-Timmy? Bet you don't know how to draw a small eye with a dot on it. Jimmy did so, and Timmy looked defeated. A few minutes later, Timmy retorted, well now I have dots of her my eyes, and you don't. One glance at Timmy, and Jimmy burst out laughing. So did Timmy. Half the class did.

The boys, the women think this is, they're above this. Yeah, that makes sense. You boys, men. Boys will be men. Explain. Can we make it like? Boys make me sleepy. And like.

Quote me on that. That's an orange-yve quote. Boys make me sleepy. Boys make me sleepy. That's something we want to be quoted on. You famously want boys on the side. Yeah. Because if you haven't had an entree. Make me sleepy.

Boys don't cry. He puts something on his face above his eyes. What do you put on his face? Blood. Little dots. Little dots. Two snipers. He hired two snipers.

Tears. He put prison tears on his eyes. We are going to see a scene. Aaron, you're going to be playing a third grader. You're going into class Adela and I are other third graders This is you know midway through the year and you've come in with two tier tattoos You've

Hey guys, hi my name is Mark. But everyone calls me poodle. Hi poodle. Poodle. This is midway through the year We're all friends and we know each other. We know we oh Yeah, no, I'm just I'm just trying to make food stickers and nickname. What everyone bring for lunch today. I thought it was as much as a sever head. What's on your face? Yeah pool. Sorry about your dad. I got some new tattoo. Are those tattoos for kids? Like the kids bought version of tattoos? These are the kids. These are the kids bought version of tattoos but they're permanent. Oh no. Oh no. My mom by the way my mom got me kids' pop Seattle. Oh that's great. I love that. It's exclusively death kept. What is a kids' pop version of some death that go? I will follow you into the park. I want a friend, I want a friend you like an animal.

You're so much better than mine. I will follow you into the snack. Yeah, that's nothing. Some day you will nap, but I'll be close behind a follow you into this next Did you kill someone I like our air was like yours is better. I'm still gonna Sigma I had to be some follow-through I Will follow you into this next now next I dare you to ever listen to that song and not get hungry for snacks. Who sings that song?

What's that? Deathcap. Oh, I know you. You do. Really? Oh, wow. Trains at Lancel's system. Yeah, I was gonna say.

Isn't it Postal Service? Yes. I like Ben Giverd, but I guess I just never listened to Deathcap. Ah. The glove compartment is in four children to touch. Do a kid's bob because my mom gives me a puzzle service. Yeah, kid's bob. I'm still napping in my bed with dreams above my head of always getting cookies as a meal

instead of just as a... I know. What's the... Hey, I think we I know. I was. I was. What's the, Hey, I think we're funnets songs. What funnets songs. Tell me if you, how does that go? Tell me am I right?

Do you think that there could be nothing better than cookies? I think that. They're making use of cookie. And slowly eating up the food and eating up the milk. Together. We need to have an option. Whenever we do live shows from now on, whatever city we go to, the population votes of whether they want just riddles, or us just doing this. I thought that was the most romantic song I'd ever heard in my life

when I was like 14. The Postal Service was the Postal Service on the Garden State soundtrack. Yeah. That was right in the real house. That fucking did it. I was like, I'm not sure if I was going to be able to do it. I was like, I'm not sure if I was going to be able to do it. I was like, I'm not sure if I was going to be able to do it. I was like, I'm not sure if I was going to be able to do it. I was like, I'm not sure if I was going to be able to do it. I was like, I'm not sure if I was going to be able to do it. I was like,. God, the Postal Service was the Postal Service on the Garden State soundtrack?

Yeah. It must have been, that was right in the real house. Yeah, that fucking did it for me. Ooh, that's that track. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I was never a brand-ass guy, but boy, oh boy, I love Death Cab. Death Cab, oh, I love Death Cab. Did you ever see them live?

No, but I saw Postal Service at Lollapalooza a few years ago, five, four years ago, when they did their last show reunion tour thing ever, and they played the one album that they have, but they played the whole album, and it was fucking awesome, it was great. Yeah, I really loved it. Did Jenny Lewis go?

Yeah, and I'm not a postal service fan. As much as Deathcap, I like Deathcap more, but that's a great album, It just is a really good album. And they did one. Oh. I'm a massive Jenny Lewis. Roy LaPalle is incredible. Yeah, Jenny Lewis is great too.

But does he love you? Just like I said, a huge Deathcap fan. All right, we got to finish this. OK, I'm going to give you a riddle. This riddle is called. Wait, what was the dots? He did dots over his eyes. He just drew dots over his eyes.

What does that have to do with banger sisters? Okay, I'm ready, one more riddle. I began, I legit began to explain it and then realized, oh, I'm getting fucked with. My name is Anton Kutcher, and you're getting fucked with. I'm Anton Kutcher. My name's Anton Kutcher Nelly, and this is getting fucked with. My name is Anton Kutcher and you're getting fucked with. My name is Anton Kutcher and this is getting fucked with the show. Right. Call it my ex stepdad. He's not my dad. He's not my dad. My mom got divorced to him. This is what's called power failure. Well, holy shit. I just had I'm so sorry.

Yeah, please. It has this will take 10 seconds. I just had, I'm so sorry. Yeah, please, it has. This will take 10 seconds. I just had a realization. What's sex with you? The sex with me is like a brownie. We'll take 10 seconds. The show, did you guys watch Step by Step? Yes. I just, I just got it that it's called Step by Step

because it's just, he's had to step parents. I never knew that. Yeah. I legit didn't think about that. Okay. That was where Step in the show? I did. What's full house?

Why did I call that? Because there's a lot of people in that house. Because there's three jacks and two queens. I finished your sex with me. That's like a weird three's company. Okay, so it's three jacks and two queens. And two queens. What do you say, Aaron?

Sex with me is like a brownie, better up. Brownie, crumbly and better with gluten in it. Does that make sense? Do a brownie sex with me. Sex with me is like a brownie because it's better when you're high, my high club. Sex with me is like a brownie. You think you want more, but one is enough. Sex with me is like a brownie.

The best part is the edging. Yeah! Sex with me is like a brownie. You get it at corner bakery and you overpay. Sex with me is like a brownie, you get it at corner bakery and you overpay. Sex with me is like a brownie because play with my beddy-crack. Sex with me is like a brownie because it's the first level of becoming a girl's girl. Sex with me is like a brownie because you get a Cleveland steamer. Read the riddle!

Power failure. While Kevin slept peacefully, a transformer on the street burned out. Bumblebee? I'll check this prie. Transformer on the street burned out and stopped all electrical power to his house. The power was restored two hours later, while Kevin was still asleep. He woke the next morning and noted with annoyance that all of his digital clocks were blinking and had to be reset. I hate power failures he grumbled as he carried his battery-powered

watch to the VCR, the microwave oven, and other devices that needed to have their clocks reset. But Kevin had no idea that the power failed during the night. Much less how long? Explain. much less how long? Explain. What? I'm gonna just give you some hints. Yes, please. Did Kevin sleep away from his house and return to it to find the clocks had stopped? No. Is he Kevin from Honglow?

Yes. He's blushed. He's blushed the very spicy perfume on his face. It makes a very... You think aftershave is very spicy perfume on his face. It makes a very... You think after shave is very spicy perfume? You know, like that ethnic perfume. It's like real garlic heat. I did a perfume to spicy for my little boy face. Was he of sound mind and with good vision?

Yes. It's good. Did he own an electric clock that had an hour hand and a minute hand? No. This one's confusing. This one is very confusing. Yeah, this book is great though. These are very modern, really.

Yes. Oh, is it, he knows the time because of TV. He just put on the news. He just put on the news because of TV. Wait, he has his watch. Like, what's the question? I'm so confused. So he knows that, so if he wakes up and says,

9 a.m., his watch is correct, but all the clocks are stopped. Are blankings. I thought I knew they stopped for two hours. Didn't say two hours. Somewhere in the room. Or did I make that up? Well, Kevin slept peacefully. A transformer on the street burned out and stopped all electrical power to his house.

The power was restored two hours later. Well, Kevin slept peacefully, a transformer on the street burned out, and stopped all electrical power to his house. The power was restored two hours later, while Kevin was still asleep. He woke the next morning and noted with annoyance that all his digital clocks were blinking and had to be reset. I hate power failures. He grumbled, as he carried his battery-powered watch to the VCR, the microwave oven, and other devices that needed to have their clocks reset. But Kevin had no idea that the power had failed during the night, much less. How long?

Explain. Because there's no walk lock. It's a simple thing. If you had a walk lock, you could subtract the time. What is this? Can you tell us the answer? This wording of this is so confusing. Maybe?

I don't know what the fuck is happening, but this answer doesn't make any sense to me. Before we hear it I do want to see one quick picture. I'm Aaron Uri Kid living I assume in California I've never seen the movies but I assume they're all living in California because they're beautiful. GBC Uri are a burnt out transformer meaning that you're a drugie sort of a transformer and I want you to try and become her car Whoa Oh a human What's going on? I sorry I thought I parked my car here. Hey man. Do you have any oil?

Do I mean oil not on me? I don't often get my oil? Come on take me some oil Come on, I'll suck you do. I think I have what what? Not on me. I don't often get my oil. Come on, take me some oil. Come on, I suck it here. I think I have what? What? Come on, kid. I suck it here. Okay, I'm like a 21 year old college student. I'm not a kid. Yeah, I did you do so by car. What? Come on. Let's put it in the tailpipe. What? Let's put it in the tailpipe. Okay, come on. I have some olive oil in my back. I have some groceries in my head. I'm gonna get higher. I'm fucking olive oil. You just said oil have some groceries in my head. I'm gonna get high on fucking olive oil. You just said oil. Do you know what mean like car oil? No, I'm a fucking talking car.

I mean olive oil. What do I have like fucking bobby flay in here? Trying to make some. You know who bobby flay is? Everybody knows who bobby flays. Cause this is the actual treasure. It's been on television for 20 years. And do you bobby flay?

All right, meet bobby flay. Okay, let's see that. This is we cut to this robot car in a kitchen I've been on television for 20 years. It's a beef bobby flay. Me? Beef bobby flay? Yeah. Okay, let's see that. This is, we cut to this robot car in a kitchen showdown with bobby flay. All right, so we are going to, bobby flay, we'll cook your signature dish, which is... Is it like some sort of chicken or like a pasta? It's a chicken, chicken bust. Oh, great chicken pasta.

Chicken pasta. And the clock starts now. I want to take my first five minutes to face the camera and remind people I have not to check a bust. Oh, great, check a bust. And the clock starts now. I want to take my first five minutes to face the camera and remind people I have not much of a personality so as to be safe and welcoming to most parents. See.

The sex with me is like fucking a card in tailpipe. Exhausting. Oh. Sex with me is like fucking a card in a tailpipe. You don't want to be caught doing it in front of your friends. They'll never let you live it down. Sex is me is like having sex with a car and a tailpipe. You'll have a good time, but you will get burned.

And you are contributing to smog. Power smog. Smog. Power failures occurred often. Tevin, therefore did not bother resetting clocks every time the power was restored. When the power failed during the night, the clocks had not been reset from the previous power failure, and looked unchanged in the morning. My man needs you to do something. I need you to literally tear that page out.

Okay. I'm taking it to Riddle Court. Okay. And here we go. Off to Riddle Court. Okay, so this is Rital Court, and may I please have the Rital before me, the defendant? Don't worry, I'm typing it all down. Okay, very good synagoguers. Stephanie Aguifer, yes, the Rital in question is about Kevin, Power Failure.

Power fails all the time. I'm sorry, as the judge, I'm confused. Where am I, Southern Lourish? Wait, who am I? I thought you were the guy who announces what's going on at the beginning I bought a Gavokas I thought I was the judge you could do this but I only want Southern people in this courtroom your honor is this Southern enough to be Turn up the volume on the Southern you don't It might just sit down your own in my

Southern a little bit up your own I'm gonna sit down Y-Yaw, am I so alone? I'm gonna help it up Y-Yaw, no Am I so alone enough to be loyal? There you go, you're- it's not enough to be loyal Yaw, this riddle is for them folks in the big city It talks about digital rocks and bad rubberies Oh, the order, order in my court I'm not the judge

Well, I bought a gavel so that makes me a judge Now I have to say, this riddle sucks. Order, order, order. I created Beavis and Butthead in Silicon Valley. All right. Order, order, order. Axel Follies getting up to a lot of hijinks and I gotta be there to stop him. Are you still alive? Who's talking there? That's Judge Reinhold.

Okay. Oh no, he key for something that's talking now? That's Judge Reinhold. Okay. Oh no, he key for something that went right here on the courtroom floor. Oh no. Oh no. I was gonna send the riddle of the prison. Hey, I need a bit of a breather. How we doing?

Aaron, how you feeling? Oh, I'm okay. I'm a little sore from this episode. Yeah. From all the running I've been doing. Yeah, this has been a real physical. This has been like a double-there-esque physical challenge. We've like,

Yeah, I blew out both my quads. Yeah, how many flags did you get? What's that? How many flags did you get? Well, I've been, when my quads, quads blew up all the flags with scattering. Oh, well, they're in your quads? I shoved flags in my quads.

That's probably the quads. What are we doing now? Well, the final challenge is to go through the mouth, right? There's that giant mouth with the tongue and all that cream cheese and goo. Cream cheese and goo, yeah. And then after that, I guess we clean ourselves off in the sandbox.

Whoa, what a mystery act. Sand is really good for cleansing off all kinds of oil and ice. It's nature's paper towel. They call it ablutions. They do. Oh, you mean like Jim and John? Ablutions? That was their like code heads, sorry I didn't lie, like the Bob?

The pollution. Cookie man, how we doing? Hey, it's me, I'm back. I'm like a fan. Cookie man. Cookie man, can we get a little chomp chomp? Chomp chomp. Yeah.

Funny parties, I don't even eat cookies. I don't even like cookies. Damn, what a cookie man move. I don't even eat cookies. I don't even like cookies. Damn. What a cookie man move. I know. What cookie man just alienated all of his fans? So what are you chopping into, actually? Is that way of selling you with peanut butter? Yeah, there's a little ants on the log.

Yeah, yeah. I actually think anyone who likes cookies is an asshole. I had a really bad experience with a cookie and miney. In my younger days. Oh, can we hear that story? No. Okay. We'll have you back on for a Patreon when we tell our worst cookie stories.

I forgot to clear my cash. Let me just say it was the Bozo Show. Really? Remember cookie on the Bozo Show? No. No, that reference point. I'm nowhere. Finally someone who's older than me on the show.

WGN, Boso Show? I know the Boso Show. I, the clan, Boso the clan, right? The Boso Show from Boso, yeah, from WGN. But I never watched it, and I don't know any of the characters except Boso. Cookie was a sidekick, yeah. Boso was the main guy and Cookie was the sidekick. So the only reason I know Boso is from Simpson's and Krusty the clan inside Chabab.

Sure, Krusty is a direct reference to Boso,, for sure. And sideshow Bob is basically cooking. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so he's fresher. Oh, shit. What do you got? What do you got in store for a city? Speaking of food, I've got a food puzzle for you. We're speaking of clowns. You were clouds of food. In the future, it cleanses food. You were. Closer food. In the future, cleanse this food.

So, the puzzle today is I'm gonna give you clues for a kind of food that is named after a place. Okay. But the clues are all gonna be the ingredients of the food. So you're gonna come up with, from the list of ingredients, what the food is, and just the hint is that they are all named after somewhere in the world. Clevveral. Clevveral.

Oh God. Here we go. Ice cream, sponge cake, meringue. Clevver. Clevver. Clevver. Oh God. Here we go. Ice cream, sponge cake, meringue. Strawberry shortcake. Oh, it's named after a shortcake. You can tell that. That's called sponge cake. What was it?

Ice cream, sponge cake, strawberry. Meringue, you said strawberry. That's called a Atlanta sunrise. Wait, all right. It's, it's, I'll tell you what, it's put in an oven. Oh, baked know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don. Yeah, I don't know Here we go mayonnaise ketchup horse radish pimento's chives and spices. Oh a Santa Fe terrible Terrible is my nickname in college Can we get those ingredients one more time think about it think what think what it looks like mayonnaise and ketchup and horse radish Pimento's in ketchup and horseradish, Pemento's, Chives and Spices. That's gonna be a- Kaisa, it's gonna take- It sounds nothing like it came from like the place it's named after.

Seven layers of hell dip. Now you know this, you see this on the menu, all done. Oh sure, I know it, but I can't- This is in ketchup, what do you get? Aola. Badaeola. It's like a red aily.

Oh, man, he's in ketchup. You get like horse radish? Oh, donkey sauce. Orbeez sauce. Maybe after. Guy Fieri. Caffieri donkey island. He should have a reality show called donkey island.

That's right. Where it's like love island, but just donkey. Let's donkey in it. I don't know. What do you get? It's a kind of rock. Oh, it's a thousand island dressing? It's a kind of rock. Thousand Island dressing.

Thousand, oh Chernobyl dressing. It's a dressing. It's a dressing. You're telling me Thousand Island is an amazing thing. Jersey, Thousand Island. It's a French dressing. French dressing. Thousand acres, Christopher Robbins.

It's the other one. French is a place. It is a place. It's not a dressing. It's not a Italian, that's like a vinaigrette. This is ketchup. Russian. Oh, no.

Okay. I don't think I've ever had Russian dressing. Hot dog, ground beef, yellow mustard white onion. Since then, I chile. Chicago. Skyline. Skyline, chile. No, that would be good, but no, we're talking about hot dogs here.

Is that a Chicago dog? Hot dogs with ground beef on it. What do you call it? You call that. I have no idea. We are German shit dogs. Adel, you're the foodie. Shouldn't you know all this fucking shit?

Yeah, but it's also a card. Oh, I would be a hard foodie food. Yeah, this is like carnival shit. It's carnival. Now, Sandy, is that a Philly cheese steak? No. Can that be an answer to something later? I'm just gonna say,

Philly cheese steak would be like cheese and steak. I should have started with that. Cheese and steak. Philly cheese steak. Okay. Hot dog with ground beef on it. Yeah. It's going to be like a chili dog, but that's, I mean, Manhattan. Those are mostly in like, here's the extent of my Furniture.

You got it. Yes, I'm the island dog. You got it. Yes, I'm the island. You said that's mostly like Michigan. You did it. All right. This is a dessert again.

Chocolate pie crust, chocolate custard, chocolate sauce, a lot of chocolate, and vanilla ice cream on top. Death by Nevada No, no German chocolate cake. It's called a Mississippi mud Yeah, I have heard of that right rice noodles eggs tofu tamarind pulp fish sauce Dry shrimp garlic chili peppers and often peanuts dried shrimp, garlic, chili peppers, and often peanuts. The... Sounds like patty.

Feet... Ooh, patty. That's the answer. Very nice. Wait, oh, nice. Patty. Because it's from your house. It's from your pad.

It's got to your pad. From my flat. Ah. Oh. Flat, flat tie. Okay. Okay. Speaking of flat, flat chicken filet rolled around cold butter, eggs, and bread crumb.

So it's rolled around cold butter. That's the key thing. Chicken filet. If I just said chicken and butter, you'd be like, whatever. Flat chicken filet. Chicken, corn, blue. Wrapped around cold butter. No, it's not eggs and bread crumbs.

I don't know. It's called chicken in a city in Eastern Europe. Keef. That's right. Yes. Oh, nice. Good job. You've heard that. I heard of chicken keef. That's right. Yes. Oh, nice. Good job. You've heard of that. I heard of chicken kief.

I had no idea what the fuck it was. Yes, sure. Yeah, I've made chicken kief. Okay. Chicken fucker. Can you kief me? Man, it was right there. How did I not get it?

I thought you not get that. Gin, cherry la cure, quantra. Manhattan. Benadictine, granted. I don't serve me a cocktail. Okay. Gin, Cherry Lecure, Quantrow, Benedictine, Grenadine, Pineapple Juice, Lime Juice, Bitter.

It's a very complicated drink. Cherry Limericky, Brooklyn Sunrise. A champagne. Maui Waui. That's a Maui. There are a lot of cocktails named after places. Honestly, there's a lot of food named after places. Is this tropical drink? Yeah, I think so. My tie. No, my pet tie. Can you get a hint? Yeah. It's it's a literative. I, you know, the title of it. Oh, it's from a book. Oh,

God. Sandy pulled this out of fucking a book. No, not a whole fan. Not literative. A literative. I don't see any pulled this out of fucking a book. No, not literally. Not literally. A literative. The two letters. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how else to clue it.

Southeast Asia. M-m-m-m. Is the place? Southeast Asia. Bali. Not Thai. Bip-bap-bap-bap. Is it a country or city?

Oh. Uh-oh. You said yes? Yes. Both. So this is going to be the old New Delhi, India. Southeast Asia. There's only one place in Southeast Asia that is both a country in a city. Hey, well, that makes it easier. We obviously know that place. Tallah's Philippine. I think Taiwan. Singapore. Singapore. Singapore. Singapore. I've never never I've never heard of it Singapore And I went there's no drink named after seeing porcelain. All right. Let's back move back to food hard boiled egg sausage bread crumbs

Oh, that's Hard boiled egg saw English You said it scotch egg scotch egg named after Mike Myers West egg one time I got a shake named after Mike Myers West egg long time. Speaking of eggs, we got eggs. We got cheese diced ham, mustard, and rumlet, bing, bomb. You didn't let me finish it.

What's else? What else is in there? Cheese, egg, ham, that's all the two peppers and onions. Wow, I got that right. I think I said it first, then JPC said it, and then you said, I always had green peppers.

She did get green peppers. You can't even fucking argue that, Ad all. You didn't say green peppers. Sorry Aaron. I'm sorry Molasses sugar salt and show these tamarins onions garlic and various spices This is the original recipe. There's lots of ways to make it Caesar dressing vinegar molasses. I don't know if I'd get this is our Caesar dressing vinegar molasses. I don't know if I'd get this is our Vincere sauce molasses vinegar molasses sugar salt anchovies tamarind onions garlic type of sauce This is gonna be a place Ambrosia. This is gonna be ham brochure. Ham is is ham brochure. Is that anything? It's hamster damn actually yeah Yeah, but the wire

McNulty what do you put it on? Steak I put on chimichurri a one. It's vinegary dark and vinegary sweet little sweet But also it can't city barbecue sauce. No, I don't know. It's Worcester sauce. Whoa. Yeah Sauce yeah And right put in the is that from Boston is from Worcester sure Whoa, yeah. Worshirts are a source. Worshirts are a source. And great Britain is. Is that from Boston? It's from Worcestershire, I'm sure. Which is I think in England, man.

It's from, oh great Britain is. All right, I got a dessert for you. So before I do that, can we see a quick scene? JPC, I just want to see being not an Anglo-File. Yes. I don't know the commercial for Worshirtshire sauce. Oh, by the way, your Englows are way too long. Okay, I just phile them down. Yes. I don't know the commercial for Worshishire sauce. Oh by the way your anglos are way too long catch phylum down Um, can we see just the the quickest commercial for Worshishire sauce?

Yes, it says is seen in Britain absolutely oh What's for dinner? What is it? Oh Stakein put that a You're yelling at me. Oh Hey, you shot up you shot up. Oh, oh, you're picking the audio Yeah Oi you're picking the audio oh Sorry zip All right, uh, you left the room for that. Yeah, sorry. We asked you to I was going to eat my chicken kew

Leftovers here we go flower flour, butter, egg yolks, lemon zest, cinnamon. Waitress. Cinnamon. Lemon juice, cinnamon, lemon juice, hazelnuts, and red current jam. That's the big clue. A red main for berry pie. It's going to be like a London surprise or something. It's kind of, yeah, it's a kind of dessert. But the current's like a British, that's a British thing.

Blackcurrant, blackcurrant. I really, okay. But we don't have current. Poland. Yep, yeah, we don't have currents. Those seas are just calm. We have inner toes. Kimmeltoes and undertoes.

Is it easier, Pian? Yeah. A Ukrainian thudge. It is a lens or tort. We know what that is. No. No. It's a very specific kind of dessert from lens Austria.

Okay. All right, last one. There we go. Now, this has actually a lot of smaller ingredients, but I'm giving you the main parts that you put together. Okay. Cake. You got cake.

Sure. You got cream. And you got chocolate ganache. German chocolate cake. German chocolate cake. Sandy just said yes. That won't work. Is that how you're going to propose to somebody saying it over and over again? I'm going to listen to Cerro.

Marry me. A ring, your finger. My love forever. German chocolate cake. I know this. Boston. Cream pie. Boston cream pie.

You got it. You are not my friend. You said that to Adel, right? Yes, you are my friend. You are not my friend. Thank you. So there are a lot of these. I went on a Wikipedia page for like food named after places and oh my gosh people like

to do that. Now are a lot of them like super obscure though. Yeah, most of them are super obscure like lins. Sorry. I think that that's something that I may be heard before. I just never would have been able to pull it out. Well, and also lots of just individual things, like a Jerusalem artichoke, right? Oh, yeah, Jordan Almanes and Romanian Black Forest.

What, yeah, ingredient artichoke, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, lots of stuff. Artichoke, face. Do you have anything to plug? Sure. I'm happy to talk about my Twitter,

where I post puzzles every day, PZLR on Twitter. You can go to mysteryleague.com, learn about all the games I put on for corporate team building and stuff like that. And then I have a show running in Denver, the last offender show that I made in Chicago a few years ago at the House Theater, is running at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. That's such a fun show.

Yeah, it's pretty fun. It's fantastic. Do you have people that you trust in Denver doing it justice? People who I trust to play it or running it. It's like, people I trust are a lot of my tickets. Yeah, yeah, they're doing a great job. Okay, great. And Sandy, you said if they call the theater and say, give me a fucking discount, they

get 10% off? They say, if you say, hey, I'm a Hey Riddle Ripple fan. I'm a clue. They're gonna hung up on you. Yeah, they're gonna hung up on you. Hang up on you. I don't need this. I have a lot of hung ups.

Listen, if you describe to an ingredient, what goes in a Denver omelette when you call them, they'll be like, I don't care. Western peppers, Western peppers. They're like, good for you. Good for you. We don't eat those here. Sandy always the treats.

And I must say that as we continue to do the show, at some point, we're going to lean exclusively on you for puzzles. I've been wondering about it. Because there's a finite end to what we can scrounge up. Well, I'm always here for you. So please prepare for that puzzle apocalypse that's probably coming after episode 200. That's hot, yeah. And after that, you will be the full-time host because we'll need puzzles every week

I can't wait till we have Sandy back for the puzzle apocalypse Well, I'll be here. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you Well, let's get to our plug section. Oh Atta what you plug in I want to let people know to check out our patreon if you're not already doing so We have so much content there now is the time to strike because the iron is hot, my man. So go to patreon.com slash Hey, Rital Rital. You're going to spend five bucks. But in return, you're going to get a new episode every Friday, an hour of new content. You have all this backlog of content. We have our live shows, we have a D&D campaign. We have all kinds of exciting stuff in the

hopper. Is that a phrase? Yes. In the hopper? In the Dennis hopper. In the Dennis hopper. So check it out. Also comes to us in world news every Saturday at 8 p.m. In 10 p.m. We may not all be there, but we'll try and be, and we'll say hi afterwards. We may not all be there, but we can promise you this. We will be there every week. In spirit. No. Don't ask. It's also a very good show, so even if none of us are there, it will be great. Yeah, you'll find even funnier people. And you can follow me on Twitter at JP So Fly

on Instagram at Shark Parkman. And just, yeah, listen to our stuff and go to our T-Pulp Extort and Fire merchandise. And that's just, and then communicate. Just communicate with your partners. Oh, I should have plugged that. That's a good one. Yeah.

Aaron, anything to plug? Follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram and I'll plug all my shows and stuff there. Okay, so Aaron, if the lead actor with the last name law, thought a famous terrifying nightmare clown from Stephen King, and then went to a part of the hospital for ambulances, what would that be? La, it from Seeming King's It. Doop, doop. Doop, doop. Doop, doop.

Marse? Bye forever. This has been Hey Rural Rural. Creates by Adolf Refi. Sorry, Erin G. And John Patrick Cullen. Hey, this nighter busy headed in. I've already parried to the future.

Vocal created by M.O.B. Cargamers and M.O.N. the Morris. Don't fight, you'll be for hate, risk, or break your mind. That was a hitgun podcast.