Hey Riddle Riddle - #62: Hey Riddle City Part 2!

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

The Clue Crew wades back into the black and white depths of Riddle City. Brick Stoneheart and Mickey Rourke (no relation) will stop at nothing to solve their case, but was locking up Coco Cashmere the right thing to do? Probably right? That voice? Listen as Erin parades out several more colorful characters to populate the 1940's world that is... RIDDLE CITY! ...PART 2! #WiddleWednesday #RiddleCityStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hey KJ, make it black and white. Oh, it seems you've returned to Riddle City. You're just now joining us, so you're an amateur boxer who got hit in the head by a professional boxer. This is what you missed. The year is 1948, or whatever. And Brick Stonehard is trying to solve the mystery. Say hello, Brick. Hello, Brick. Shhh.

Brick is a current PI and former cop with a mysterious pass and even more mysterious space. He joined by Mickey Rork, no relation, who was a hot tempered retired boxer. He sounds a little bit like this. They call it Taco Tuesday, but you can get a Taco any day if you got the cash, the mula, the cheddar. These two gentlemen thought they had just solved the disappearance and murder of Mark Yudamart, a misguided delinquent who owed lot of people, a lot of money. But they just spotted him on a train celebrating

with the chief of police in Madeline DeMarc. Markey's sister in the former love of Bricks life. Oh, my sweet Madeline. I just want to eat you up like a little girl's girl's cookie. Ooh. Now, go, go, go, go. Give me some more.

Oh. A swing and a thin mitt. Give me some more. Oh. A swing and a thin mitt. You got it. Now, Coco, Kazmi, a local performer known for her angelic voice. Say hello, Coco. She's in jail right now. She can't come to the phone right now. Now, Coco, Kazmi, a local performer known for her angelic voice, sits in jail for his murder.

The case is anything but closed. Hit it, Arnie! She stepped in with an obstacle and it all seemed right at the end of the day. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, look at that. The gentlemen catch up and chat over eggs and bacon and coffee and eggs and bacon and coffee. They have the same order. More ketchup on your eggs and bacon and coffee?

I love catching up. Well, it's better than finding a mouse turd in my food. Oh, it's right from his hands, he's. Yes, 57. Mm-hmm. Yes, 5-7. What else? What else? What else?

Brick I can't shake the feeling that we may have done something wrong here. My brain feels just like these eggs scrambled. In this case, it was just like your eggs over easy. And we do have the same order, so we have one scrambled egg and one over easy egg. Mm-hmm. But I feel like it was over too easy if that makes sense. It makes perfect sense to me. I think we missed something.

Oh, the tip. Oh, yes of course, here we go. 5% as per... And I'll cover you up for 50... ...sits. Rick poured over who might have information about Madeline or Marke, and who would be willing to talk. Just then, Rick remembered something.

When he was with Madeline, he heard her mention her hairdresser, and how often she let her secret slip to her. How convenient, because Mickey knew this woman very well. It was Mickey's wife, Vicki Rourke, who Mickey affectionately called Vicki to poop. She had long red hair, but you couldn't tell because this isn't black and white. Well, those eggs were about the best thing

that I've ever had in my life until yesterday's eggs, which were about the best things I ever had in my life. And I'm ready to go do what I'd like to do best after I eat my eggs and drink my coffee, which is take a big morning poop. Oh, speaking of poop. Speaking of poop isn't your whole wife, speaking of poop. Speaking of poop. Speaking of poop, isn't your whole wife, vicky-dapoop? What, yes?

That's my wife's name, vicky-dapoop. Yes. Formerly Vicky Booker de Pepeau? Yeah, and she likes it family style. Oh, that's why you have a baby. Is she one of the family style? Because we're one of the family style. What does she do for 11?

She's a hairdresser? She's a hairdresser. I always say she takes care of the hair on top of the head and I take care of punching the faces here. But I would never punch one of her clients. And she goes to Michael's and gets cloth and makes a little dress for your hair? Yeah, she does.

Is that what you want? Is that fun? Why not? 5% are you serious? Are you serious? Hold on, just give her a second. She'll catch the other 15 to the second. Got it!

The gentleman made their way over to make his house. Now, Brick, why do you want to go see my old wife anyway? She's got our baby at home to consider. Well, because I just remembered that when I was with Madeline Oma, sweet and madeline de Mark, I'm really Mr. de Mark by divorcing her. Well, she divorced me. What is? I can't know my sweetened Madeleine de Mark. I'm really Mr. de Mark by divorcing her. Well, she divorced me. Well, yes. I can't recall.

I've had too many of your punches. You make a me punch. Punch. Burbin' in orange juice. It's actually just a, well, some tab is bourbon de dorsch juice, but both the tab is just everything in the kitchen sink. Mm-hmm.

Knock, knock. Who's there? I'm about to ring the doorbell. Ding dong. Hey, don't ring the doorbell, I live here. We could just walk right in. No, no, no. I don't want her to think she gets any special treatment because you know what? We have to investigate her. We have to... What? ...enteric. By what? No, what do you mean? What's the idea, your wise guy? Put your dukes down. Okay. Now, I'm saying we have to treat her as a suspect, because she has some ties. Somehow, I forget what it was, but my ex-wife.

Well, just because my wife used to be the hairdresser of Madeline. Yes, that's right. I want to see if she knows any inside scoops, just like an employee at Baskin Robbins. Well, she knew any sco, she would tell her old husband, you don't think she's keeping things from me. Her old husband?

Yes. And she married before you? To the mayor of town. John Phillips, scuba. And I hope we don't have to see that son of a gun. Oh, that old son of a- oh, hello. Hi. Oh, thank you.

I'm Vicki DeBoop. The baby is sleeping, Mickey, so I only have a minute. Oh, I'm so sorry, baby, I didn't mean to. Hi, Rick. Hi, nice to see you, I'm Vickettapoupe! The baby is sleeping Mickey, so I only have a minute. Oh, I'm so sorry, baby, I didn't mean to. I like it. Hey, nice to see you, Vickettapoupe. You know, break, of course. Have you guys been to Hayba? Well, of course.

Well, for the most part, but we did just have breakfast and we're all riled up. Now you used to be a hairdresser for Madeline, is that right? Madeline. Ah. The North Star and my dark sky. I'm still a hairdresser from Madeline, is that right? Madeline. Madeline. Ah, the North Star and my dark sky. I'm still a hairdresser. Oh, you are. We came to you because of some information I just remembered, but I can't remember what it is right now.

You want to know a little bit about Madeline to my... That's what it was? You know, we want to know if she's been hiding or harvoring anything from us, Vic. Just because I'm your lover doesn't mean you don't have to answer a riddle. Oh, don't mean I gotta get with your friends, doesn't? If you want to, what did I always say? What did I say in our vows?

If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. I gotta get with my friends. Friendship, visit easy, that's the way it is. But you famously in the alphabet with Z, right? Yeah. Like a fucking idiot. It's a little rude. Yeah, that is a little rude. You gotta make up my baby. Do you want to go and say hi to Z, right? Yeah. Like a fucking idiot. It's a little rude.

That is a little rude. You're gonna make up my baby. Do you want to go and say hi to my baby? No, all of me to my 18. When it comes back from his first service in war, I'll sh- You named him. That's right, I did name him.

Yeah, what is your baby's name again? My baby, as we all know, is... Dickie Dork. Oh. Dickie Dork? Dickie Dork. Oh. Dickie Dork, huh? No, I didn't want to give him my name. He could earn my name if he wants it. But for now, is Dickie Dork.

And we'll see if that name toughens him up over a lifetime. Okay, what am I? You're beautiful, Evan. You're beautiful. Mickey's right. No, you're own person, but also... We're in Riddle City, and if you remember, the law of the land is you have to answer a riddle before you give anyone,

or you have to give someone a riddle before you give anyone the information. It's sort of an exhausting lay-on, but here we are. That's the... all we know, though. It's where we were born and what we do. What am I? If you look, you can't see me. If you see me, you cannot see anything else. I can make you walk if you cannot. Sometimes I speak the truth, and sometimes I lie. If I lie, I am nearer to the truth. What am I?

The Sun. Now anyway, Vicki, we were trying to see if you knew any answer. Hell? Oh. Is that the Sun? You said we had to answer riddle. You're saying now that we have to give the right answer to a riddle? Okay, then I need you to repeat that riddle.

How could that be more than what answer to the riddle? Okay, then I need you to repeat that riddle. How can that be more than what answer to the riddle? Brick already said, son. Oh, the baby. Oh, she's putting the baby back down. Oh no. If you look, you can't see me. If you see me, you cannot see anything else. Now stop right there, let's parse over that.

If you look, look, you can't see me. If you do see me, you can't see anything else. Now you see the son. And if you look into the son, you can't see me. If you do see me, you can't see anything else. Now you see the sun. And if you look into the sun, you'd be blinded. So you couldn't see anything else. But maybe it's also the moon. Is it a black hole, son? Won't you come?

There's nothing to do with the space. Okay. All right. Is it the inside of your eyelids? A little bit closer, Dad. Let me keep reading. Sure. I can make you walk if you

cannot. Sometimes I speak the truth. Okay. Sometimes I lie. I can make you walk, I help you walk. I can... Shoulder cane. Oh, is it one of those moving walkways at a new airport? Oh, you know, you get on one of those things, and it takes you from terminal A to terminal Z. Or like Detroit has the people mover? Yeah. I think Des Moines has one too. Make sure you tie your shoes before you get on one of those. Oh yeah, that's true.

And cut at the end. That's an old wives tale. You're an old wife, so we respect you for it. Well, she's my new wife, but she's the mayor's old wife. Oh, I'm sorry. You're old and new. And she's... I'm the old mayor's old wife.

And she's something borrowed? And she's always blue. Who's your borrower from? The bear. You're on loan? Old John Phillips Cooper, bears down. Took out a loan? Now...

It does not property. Yes. But I am very blue. Probably because of the way that I talk. Now, Vicki, Vicki, can I ask you? Is it something to do with cane? No. Okay. Oh, it's something to do with able. It's not like sugar cane enable? No, you're closest with the back of your hand. Can it gain an able? If you look, you cannot see me. If you see me, you cannot see

anything else. I can make you walk if you cannot. Sometimes I speak the truth and sometimes I lie. By lie I am near to the truth. What? And... And the tongue? Is it a tongue? Is it a tongue? I don't know.

Is it? Ah, is it a tongue? This is one of Vicky's favorite games. Is it a tongue... Okay, Vabre, are you ready? Is this a tongue? Okay, let's see. Oh, there's no laces on this shoe.

Is it a tongue? I'm let's see. Oh, there's no laces on this shoe. Oh, is it a tongue? I'm gonna say it's a sandal. Yep. Hot damn, it's a sandal. Is this a tongue? Okay, let me feel this, okay. It's either a kneecap, an elbow, or a butthole.

I'm gonna say, I can head out. Two of those, right. No, okay, we're sorry. I'm gonna read it one more time. One more time. If you look, you cannot see me. Two of those are right. No, okay, we're sorry. I'm gonna read it one more time. One more time. If you look, you cannot see me. If you see me, you cannot see anything else. I can make you walk if you can walk.

Sometimes I speak the truth, and sometimes I lie. If I lie, I am here to be truth. What am I? A crutch. No, it's the closest thing is the back of your eyes. Hmm. Hmm. Your own reflection.

Is it a body part? No. It's not a body part? No. The other thing is the back of your eyes. Hmm. Hmm. Your own reflection. Is it a body part? No. It's not a body part? No. Is it three feet in front of you? Something that happens in your brain. Oh, stroke, a memory.

A dream. Oh, it's a dream. The answer is a dream. Hmm. The answer is a dream? So we have to be asleep to know the answer. No, no, the ant forget it. Or a dream just like my sweet Madeline.

Well, speaking of Madeline, I can tell you everything with it. I am more than just Madeline's hairdresser, you know. Ernie, I got drinks after I cut her hair about two weeks ago. We went to the Moxie to listen to Coco saying, she told me Barkey was in trouble, and said a bunch of things that didn't quite hear her understand over Coco's screeching I mean singing. But I know for sure I heard the word twigs and baby doll and...

You were right about screeching, I mean Coco's a Dustin Diamond in the rough. While she does a screech. Dustin Diamond in the rough? Okay well I heard the words twigs and baby doll and I she's an't. And Antonra. Oh, twigs, babydoll. Antonra. The Antonra. The Antonra. Ooh, I like my Antonras, like I like my bourbon.

Make it a double. And I'll double it. Put some juice in there. Brick and Mickey. Brick and Mickey, of course, knew of the Antonra. It was the underbelly of Riddleson. Logic problems and math had been voted out by the people many years ago, but there were

deviants there who were still willing to get their fix. Oh, so we need to go to Unchondras to do some math problems now. Yeah, but they would have to lie to PIs in there. So I'll have to put you two in disguise, so let's try some on. Well, I'll tell you something before we try this suit on. I was a P.I. of course, but I also work for the secret service. I was a piss. Do they let piss in?

They definitely let piss in. He's just taking the piss out. All right, let's try on your costume. Which you can, I have this whole closet full of disguises. Whoa. Ooh. You can try it on and pick a new fake name. I'm not going to ask why my wife has a closet full of disguises. I'm just. You can try it on and pick a new fake name. I'm not going to ask why my wife has a closet full of disguises.

I'm just going to let it happen and let it be for my business. I feel bad because she has a closet full of disguises. Hey, you get out of here, guys. Who are you? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Lord, hit you with a door splitcha! But also here in my table. My mouth? I have these disguises. You could try them on. Want to do a montage? Sure, that sounds great. I'm going to put the record, the music on,

and go ahead and tell me what you're trying on, and the name you would do for that discatling. Ooh, this is me with a potted plant on my head, and I'd go as Fern Gully. Okay, this is me wearing a green shirt, brown pants and a shaggy wig, and I would go as scummy-doo! Okay, this is me wearing pants on my head and a blouse on my feet and I'd go as whoopsie daisy! I'd say keep that warm or like... Or daisy whoopsie!

Okay, let's see, a suit, tie, slick back hair, breathing apparatus. Wait a second. Now, I'm just dressing up like your ex-husband. John Phillips-Skuba, Marathdown. He was also a great composer of marches. Yeah, marches all to the bottom of the ocean. The bucket, Skuba. Put on this here dress, and and some makeup and I'll go as

picky, you poop. Oh, now you look mighty fine there, Miss Picky, the poop. Or I could put on these boxing trunks and these boxing gloves and go as, make a rock. Oh no, two of me. Which one to shoot. No, Mickey, talk to shoot. I just got these gloves. Please don't shoot.

Yeah, you're right. How about you take this cowboy hat? You're crazy. And you take what's a different kind of hat? A boy's cow hat? Yeah. What about this one, raccoon hat? Quite like, but you can pick between the raccoon hat and the beret, your choice.

Oh, under the beret. All right. And now you need to change your voices just a little bit. You're going undercover. Where'd I say with this cowboy hat, my name is Settle Up and Rad. And my name is Frinchida Brad. Okay, remember those names. Oh, and Mickey Pum.

Huh? Settle the bread. What did you say? Frinchida Brad. Frinchida Brad. Hey, Frinchida Brad. Wee wee, miss out. Huh? Saddle the bread? What did you say? Frenchie the bread. Frenchie the bread. Hey Frenchie the bread. We win, yourself. Promise me you'll be careful.

I hear it beyond Tondra is where they deal and take them. Sorry, the baby just started crying. What? I'll have to go get the baby. Second of the year. Be careful. I wonder what? That's it.

Less bees in the fast ones. I don't know, but I sure what, let's be safe and fast. Well, I don't know, but I sure forgot to tip my hat to the lady. 5%. Brick and Mickey made their way back to the docks and found the entrance to the Antandra. At least they think they did. There looks to be a door and a wall covered in old show posters. Cabaret, magic shows, and a poster with cocoa Kashmir winking and sitting on a moonbeam.

The gentleman looked a little closer at the poster and saw that the words not twice were painted on them. So they did. A window in the door rocketed open and a man with slicked back hair and the thinnest mustache in the world appeared before them. You must be Pat Riley. Two percent of our listeners will get that job. State your names and your business. My name is Saddle Up in Ride. I'm from Cody, Wyoming, and I'm just a little cow girl.

I think. Wait, no, I just put on the hat, and I'm a cow boy. I forgot. Earlier I had a dress on, and I forgot which I was wearing. I'm saddle up and ride. And my name is Frinchie de Bred, I'm from Paris, France. And my saddle up and ride, and I,

here to experience all there is to experience and the underbelly of this fancy day. And be careful, because he's part vampire. He's always saying he's gonna secerate blood. Mm-hmm. May just be clear, the reason I have these boxing gloves on is because I hurt my hands on the plane, on the way over here.

He likes to jab on his haters. Yeah, and I couldn't jab pretty hard on the plane. What's your name? Well, my name is Twigs and I run this place. Oh, Twigs. Would you like to come in? What are those in your hands? I trust that.

Barries? They're Twigs. Oh. Can you not hear me? No, I was saying what's in your hands. I heard your name. I asked what was in your hands. You hold the thing that your name. So these two gentlemen behind you, their names are berries.

Yeah, my name's Barry. My name's Barry too. All right twigs and you two berries. To get in you have to answer a logic problem. Okay, my dad always said something worth doing is something worth doing right. Okay, my dad always said something we're doing is something we're doing right. And then, never knew my father because he lost his head in the rebellion. We did a password for a while, but it was boring. As in drilling a hole? Or as the password was boring. There you go, that's the password.

Oh, shit. No, any more. Here's your logic problem, not a riddle. No funny business. Now what's the difference between a logic problem and a riddle? I've got an idea for a funny business. What about a store that sells dog t-shirts? Now, are you saying that t-shirts with dogs on them or t-shirts for dogs? Yeah, so for a lot of questions.

I feel like we could do it like a gap where they do the women's on one side and men's on the other, but with T-shirts for dogs on one side and dogs on T-shirts on the other side. Wait, I just came up with a funny idea, which is... The funny business. Funny business, which is maybe instead of like gap clothing, it's called fat clothing, and it's just shirts to clean up your business with. That could be a funny business Either one of those dudes something you interested in the dead answer your problem. Okay, okay

The day before yesterday Peter was 17 next year. He will be 20 how is he a five for fighting song? He's 17 for a moment The day before yesterday Peter was 17 next year, but he's 20. How? Now, Peter's a dog. No. Peter's a dog.

He's a stargatherer. I'm not a riddle, no funny business, real math involved. Oh, real math. Is he born on a leap year? No, good guess, but no. If Peter was a dog, exactly he wasn't. Half of the store would be far ahead. Now is Peter a human being?

Yes. OK. OK. The day before yesterday, Peter was 17. Next year, you'll be 20. How? The day before, OK. Now, yesterday refers to the song by the Beatles.

So he's been 19 for a bit but it's just saying when yesterday was released as a single he was 17. The day before yesterday he was 17. They before yesterday two days ago. So yesterday 17 plus two 19 20 makes sense. So they was, they before yesterday he was 17. So yesterday was his birthday. Damn yesterday all my logic problems seem so far away. And now he's 20? Next year will be 20.

So, so he's 19 currently. So yesterday was his birthday. The day before yesterday he was 17. Yesterday he is 18. Oh wait, no. Yeah, you're... Oh yes, yes.

And then in one year, he will be 20. So, last three. Two days ago, 17. Think of an exact date on a calendar. So, if his birthday was January 1st. And 11? So, 4th, 20? No, but they wouldn't was January 1st and 11 so for 20 But they wouldn't be January 1th

A birthday wouldn't be December 31st. So December 31st is birthday 7.9 is 17 next year next year 20 So he's We got the pieces we just didn't know how to put them together. They're doing puzzles in the back. Okay. We're used to, well, what's the difference between a riddle and a puddle?

A down-nope. Boy, I like the difference between a dirt and a tumbleweed. All right, let's drop these ridiculous accents. Get back to what we're doing best, Brick. Should we at least keep on the hats and the braze? Well, of course. Yeah, I mean, we're going to go deeper down. I just want to do a little check in with you, my best pal,

before we get down there. All right. How you doing? That's OK. A little bit confused, as to why my wife has so many gentlemen and a closet and also some sort of disguises. Oh, I'm sure I'll settle what put that later in my life, but I kind of love her, love her so much.

I can't believe how lucky I am to have stored her away from the mayor of town. They walked to the back room and see four people sitting around the table drinking drinks of the alcohol variety. Grip Wilson, old Jimmy Fizz, and two people they didn't recognize. A woman with a perfectly placed hat who was rolling her eyes just about as often as she could.

And a man who looked a lot like Joe Pesci. Just Google image and look at his face for a couple of seconds because I'm tired of describing people. Excuse me, ma'am. Your hat was here on the floor. Here you are. And may I say it was perfectly placed. But...

On the floor, no less. The whole of Riddle City knows this man is babydough. The scariest mob boss this town has ever seen. He's elusive and drives brick crazy because he's never been able to bring him down. He had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and he was doing math on a napkin on the table. Math and logic problems are legal in Middle-South Asia. This guy is a real fucking lunatic. Well, how do they're, uh, you must be babyface.

I heard of you. You doing mathkin? Math on a napkin? Gentlemen, pull up the seat. What's your poison? Well, my poison is cyanide. Arsident, what's your poison? Well, my poison is cyanide. Arsenic, wixfami. You're asking what kind of poison would kill us?

We got cyanide on the rocks. No, that would kill me! And arsenic with a little bit of salt. And, either way, that's wixfami. Speaking of, I heard that one of your former employees, Arsen Nick, was setting fire in Riddle City. No one thing about that? I know a friend who was working a case about it.

Hey, you're a man. I really love you, Rubens. I hope you like magic problems as much as you love. Rubens. Well, I don't know if there's anything I like more than Fleetwood Max Simmelal Alba Maroovers. Yes, one of the best selling albums all time. We all love that album, gentlemen.

Now, let's cut to the shit. Now, like a carapractor, we're in the back room and we're okay. We're about to lose some money because we gotta do a lot of trouble. I'm not answering any questions you're getting to know me until then. Wait, before that, What are your names? My name is Settle Up. Minerad. And my name is Frinchie de Brato. If anyone gets this right, the logic problem, of course, you get the right.

And if you don't get it right, I get the money. Parents pay their deals a deal. You get them in right? Well, if I get it right, I want her to get the money. But I have to do it for a new hat. This one keeps following to the floor, man. Again, perfectly placed, but here's your hat. It's following to the floor once again. I've been taking old Jimmy's money out and grip was his money out. So I bet you don't need more being exception.

Here's your poison. Don't take it too fast, that stuff won't hit you. Oh, just dump this out on the floor here. Oh, get it on your hat, damn. Sorry about that. All right, this one's a little long and really annoying. I think you've also just... Just like my penis.

Similar for what? What? You said really long and kind of annoying. I didn't want to hear you say it again. I heard you. I asked me about my penis. Baby doll, what's your penis like? Is everybody just like my penis. I just want to be where you're dating and I hurt you. I asked me about my penis. Yeah, baby, what's your penis like? Is everybody just reading my t-shirts?

I'm just asking about my penis. Totally normal. Perfect. Well, yeah, I mean, technically, that's perfect. So you got a baby's body, a baby's face, enough perfectly normal penis? Does that mean it's a baby penis? Whatever.

I look like Joe Kajee. I was came across a lion and a unicorn, and a forest and forgettons. Sorry, you said came across a lion and a unicorn? A lion. Evolving. A lion and a unicorn. I was like, okay.

In a forest and forgiveness., I see. Okay. In a poor, so forgive me. Those two are strange beings. The Lion Lives every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. And the other days he speaks the truth. Maybe write this down. You said Monday, Wednesday and Tuesday? Yeah. There's a separate way to say that, though.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? There it is. And the other days he speaks the truth. The unicorn lives on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, but the other days the week he speaks the truth. And then this is a back and forth between a lion and the unicorn. Lion. Yesterday I was lion. Unicorn.

So was I. Which day did they say that? On either Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday, it must have been a Tuesday. Because the lion was telling the truth yesterday he was a lion. And most days he's a lion. Oh, man. You see, down what we're dealing here,

with is a homonym. Homonym on the range is, we say, in Coda, Wyoming. What do you say? Well, that is certainly plausible. The lion was lion, and the unicorn was dead in digits. So what day did they talk about it that was yesterday? So the lion was lion. It must have been a Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, because that's when the lion tells the truth now.

If he said yesterday, that exempts Monday, right? No. I'm sorry, he lies on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I got this all backwards. Let me do this one more time. I'm like a 10 gallon hat on a horse. I'm all backwards, let's see here. Can you read it one more time?

I'll read it. Just the end part, it would be fun. It was a Thursday. Yesterday I was lying. L-Y-I-N-G. L-Y-I-N-G. That's what the lion said. And then the unicorn said,

so was I, which day did they say that? So guess you could also frame it of which day they were lying. Okay, I think I got the answer to your logic problem here. December 31st. Will we? Oh, I can zip.

Are you gonna drink that arsenic migrator? This is an arsenic migrator? Yeah, it's a salt and a remalty. Please, dude, I'm sorry, I only drink French cocktails. So, no cocktails. Japan. Martine. Japan.

16th of a day. All right, all right, all right. So is it a, how many of them is, when the lion says lion, does he really mean lion? Ah. He means not like lying down, he means lying. But not like what he is the creature. It was?

It was? It tells the day. Fuck! So the lion says yesterday I was lying and the unicorn says today I'm telling the truth. So if on Thursday the lion says yesterday, I was lying, he's telling the truth because he was lying on the Wednesday. And if the unicorn says so was I, on a Thursday, he's lying because he was telling the truth on a Wednesday, which would also make it the truth. Oh shit, Luke Warren biscuits, I think I know the answer, but maybe it all.

I think they're both right because after all, this logic problem was set in the land of forgiveness and what are you doing the land of forgiveness but? Forgiveness sounds like riddle nonsense. Okay, okay Okay You're in the wrong place if you want to do a bullshit little Sorry, sorry is it is there any way that the absolute disease Sunday or Sunday the Lord's day that the absolute disease Sunday or Sunday the Lord's Day where... What would I read you the answer and then take all your money? No, no, no, I don't want that to happen.

A lot of French money can't lose all of my fronks. So here it is. The line said yesterday I was lying. The unicorn stuck in a pocket. That's what French money is. Hot pockets. So read the last line, no one more than. The lion said, yesterday I was lying.

And the unicorn said, so was I. So one of them could be lying about that. Yesterday I was lying, so was I. Clearly, one of them was lying. So let's just say I'm who. Yesterday I was lying, so was I. That could be him. But, so I'm sorry. That could be a big deal. But the lighten...

I wish I would have paid more attention on my favorite podcast, Hey Logic Logic. Alright, it's a frustrating show, six hours long. How about I just read the answer? No, because then you get our money and... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don, you should not answer. No, I don't know it. I forgot what he said. How are we? How are they best to meet you? Are we here? We've never met before. I've certainly never boxed you in the head. Are we looking for a day of the week here?

Mm-hmm. Yes, okay. I mean, it's not Thursday. It's all Jimmy Fizz over here. I think I have an idea. Okay, well, why don't you make a like a... I guess a hint for the twos of you. Yeah, we'd say about to say make a dress with your own, put a socket.

I'll tell you, yeah, I guess it's in the middle of the week. Okay, middle of the week, that would be E. Shit, I'm thinking along lines of rilles. Middle of the week. Now, I think thinking along lines of rills, middle of the week. Now I think Wednesday's hump day, at least that's what I fuck my horse. What could it be Wednesday? But I don't understand why.

I'll read you the answer and I'll take your money. There's not so much. As there is no day when both the beings would be lying, at least one of them must have spoken the truth. They both speak the truth only on Sunday. However, the lion would then be lying in the statement, so it couldn't be said on Sunday. So exactly one of them lied. The unicorn was honest that it would have been a Sunday. But previously we proved this wrong.

Thus only the Lions spoke the truth when he met Alice on Thursday and spoke with the unicorn about Wednesday. Okay, we solved your logic problem. What do we get? Wait, so wait, no, the answer is Thursday, right? Mickey, let it go. Now, that's my name.

All right, you saw through my trick. I tried to get the better of you. My name's French de Bred, I'm from France. Do you say Mickey? Oh no, I said... No, he's looking at my Mickey Mouse hat. Yeah? I haven't had...

I haven't had it with two little circles on. I don't know the time, Mickey Mouse. I'm gonna make him last, see him in a French accent. Well, Steve, but Willie! Steve, but Willie, you're so great. I'm by creative and had some problematic views! But let's... move those away!

That doesn't satisfy you? Yeah, I nailed it. And my teacher says, ask me about my penis. The woman in the hat starts speaking for the first time. I saw on the paper that Markey DeMarc got killed by Coco Cashmere, pretty wild. Well, but we don't give a shit. You don't?

I mean, we like passing curiosity we do. Yes, I mean, we give a little bit of shit like a kid at 4 a.m. There you go. Mm-hmm. Greg, a few drinks in accidentally. Let's just say that he saw Marke alive. You know, I saw Marke alive.

Shit. Oh, shit. Mickey, no. Oh, my name is Addle. I'm a rat-fine. No, my name. Oh. Suddenly, baby does face drops and everyone gets.

Oh, you shit. His face is on the floor next to that hat. I may have just fallen over, but I'm here. I'm back in up on the table. And that's interesting. That's very interesting. The last time I trust the papers, well, you live in your learn as long as you live long enough to learn. Hmm. Has that ever had enough fun for one night? You were having fun? I don't know how we No, not my favorite.

I don't know how we could be anyone's favorite. Brick and Mickey start to walk down the docks in the rain and talk about what just happened. So why'd you keep saying Thursday? Well, what are you still doing using that voice, damn it? I'll guess I'm too deep.. I'll get some too deep. Well, I'm not too deep. I'm like Bruce Willis and Armageddon.

I'm in too deep. You're like Bruce Willis and Armageddon. Let it go. OK. I didn't think it through. No, you didn't think it through. Oh, Shaker, I just had to take off the hat. Sorry, Mickey.

No worries, no worries. So what do we just learn here? We learn that we both are the same thing every morning. One scrambled egg, one fried. And that makes it so much harder for the way it would make. Except for I provide 5% of the tip, you provide 15. So I should start carrying my weight. Well, I think you carry your weight pretty well.

Oh, thank you. I think you're a bigger gentleman. This is the bill that does most of the work. That's true. It's through the lion's share. Oh, lion on a Wednesday here. This bill does most of the work. That's true. It's through the lion's share. Oh, lion, hon, I wouldn't stay here. Wait, lion. That's right.

Brick, you let it slip that you saw Markea live. And that Joe Pesci looking mother fucker caught wind of that like an elephant downwind of fire. Why an elephant? I bet Warthawg. What's Pumba? Pumba is a Warthawg. What's Pumba? Pumba is a Warthawg. Great. And then he lit out of there.

What we should do is we should follow him. No. Well, we should probably get some sleep and make like a meerkat. I knew this. Tomon and Mornin. Suddenly the woman from the card game catches up to them. Oh, she's f**king pissing. She's pissing out over the bridge!

Pardon and pissing off the storm! I know who you two are, Brick and Mickey. Come here! Yes? Yeah? My name is Sibyl Sidney, and I'm the head reporter for the Red All Over, the local paper. I'm a huge fan of the detective work you two do. I went undercover in there as well, because I smelled something fishy and not just because I was at the docks.

I can tell you! My wife Madeline used to go undercover, but now she's undercover with the chief of police. You know chief of police? Do you realize that you're talking out loud? You know chief of police, if you take the first letter, is actually cop. Are all cops chief of police? Just let them go and get them things out of this way. All right. Sorry, yeah, whoa, I'm a little bit of a firecracker

As you can see, hope to do and here we go. Oh, that's on a firecracker. That's a stick of dynamite. You're fucking crazy I caught a fish with my hands old boy. I'm gonna write a story about this fish But first I want to help you with some information and I wish I could just come right out and say it, but I can't. She definitely seems like a co-can about right. And... Ah, you little sniff at piss. Ah, here we go, one, two, and a srask, Scoops a doo, and I run down the street, and then I run through the mall, here we go I'm very tall. I go to the beach just to sit.

I don't even wear bathing suit when I go. Can you believe it? I've heard about her naked bubble. What are the beach? I want to name my son Slip and Slide but that's the name of a toy and not a boy. Here we go. What is your name again? Brickie and Mick? A little bit more cocaine. That is your name again, Brickie and Mick, a little bit more cocaid. We ready for a riddle? I would, yes, I love a riddle. Alright, a struggling author received a present from a lady admirer. The author does not tell his wife about the cash gift, even though she's always been very supportive and understanding.

How did you find out he received the money? Because he's spending it on rent. Nope. Tickets to the 28-15-15. You might have a dance if I tap a little where we go. I have a lot of dancing in the sultan. You've been dancing the whole time. Here we go.

I have this hat and I got a bra. That's a Chabiracoy hat. You're walking up the walls. This is virtually insanity. One time I ate a spider, but it wasn't half bad. Did you, you know the answer to my riddles? Was it all bad? It was all horrible. Thank you for asking good

Follow up question you see him like the guy a guy who likes to talk to ladies, but The struggling author received a gift from an admirer a Struggling author received a present from a lady admirer It's a cash the president's cash The author does not tell us why. Are you saying president? No, the president. I just did a bunch cocaine in the wrong hole. I'm tired, my best.

You put that cocaine up your butt. You put it up for your support. A struggling author received a present from a lady admirer. The author does not tell us why I've bought the cash gift. Even though she's always been very supportive and understanding. How did you find out that he had received the money? Lipstick on his collar. Mm-hmm.

Nope. He didn't have an affair. He wrote a book called, Thanks for all the money. That's hilarious. I like that. Here we go, and we're walking and we're moving. I ride the entire paper. Oh, Bitteries, cartoons.

I make up couples who got married. I do all sorts of fun stuff. Why, her eyes closed. She does not have a pulse. Did I die, did I die? I met God, she's nice. Let's keep going. What's the end of this room?

Okay, okay, okay. Let's think here. How do they know? Why I find out. So, I mean, this could be anything. She looked in a drawer and saw the money. Was it because this deadbeat never has money? Did he spend it on the wrong thing?

Is it because he's spending it on the wrong thing? Is this a real piniacalata song situation where the secret admirer is the wife? Is the wife? My name is Cibil Sidney and I'm the head reporter for the Red All Over, the local paper. I'm a huge fan of the detective work YouTube. I went undercover, oh you answered the riddle right, I'm sorry, I started my introduction all over. That's the end of the riddle, here we go and I'm going to give you some more information. Why don't you cut me off more?

I'm not very good at keeping going like this. I'm going to pass out and I throw up blood. And here we go. I was just going to sing the pd Kalala song with that I realized, Mickey, you don't know a single word. 5, 6, 7, 8. Give me any celebrity. And I make a love at midnight.

And the doo moves up to the end now. Pd and P. Oh, oh, I did it. That was the impression. Here we go. Give me another. I love to, man. And the do-oom sausage. I love it, man. Pete and Pete. Oh, oh, I did it. That was the impression. Here we go. Do you know that? I love it. I'd love to see it.

I love the balls, though. I'm Alan Alder. Hoop-a-do, and Masha-masha. I'm Alan. I'm Alan Alder. Joe Pesci. Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. You came to me for answers, actually. I came to you because I know who you are. And here, the answer to what you were looking for, which is information about what to do next. So wait, just real quick, the answer was the wife was the admirer. Yeah, the answer is the office wife was the lady admirer. She had recently come into small legacy, and she didn't want to offend him by offering him the money directly.

Yeah, it's always offensive when a woman offers a man money. Diddy diddy diddy diddy and we're going and we're moving and we're shaking some more. We're going and moving. Sure we are. Him to hop and uh uh um and pull the butt and hop the butt. Break the only reason I'm not moving is she's got an atomic hunt trained in us that she has that atomic hunt gun trained in us the entire time she's been walking. Oh I didn't mean it in one two three and I'm doing a cartwheel nope I'm throwing up. Alright she's about to crash hard so we better get through this. So give me a quick recap of how much you

to gentlemen know. Okay well you're an insane person you're co-cane through your butthole you fell in the water several times you've been saying, person, you're coca-cated through your butt hole, you fell in the water several times, you've been shouting out to the squelby, you've been levitating off the floor for 10 minutes. You've got a jibiracoy hat, you've been walking up the walls, you do some dynamite into this dockside water, you kill every fish in there, and then you cut one of those dead fish, you ate it, pulled it out of your mouth, and it was just the boats. You've been vibrating so fast, you look like you're three people. Your eyes are closed, you did a peat and peat and pressure that was not out of the park excellent

That's about all we know so far So what a joke feel us it I'm talking about the case you two idiots you two Bumble bees you two Tidy little squirrels who I can fall in love very slowly over time or the case. It's a 12-pair It's the only thing we drink here in this time. Oh a big ol' big ol' big ol' big ol' big ol' big ol' big ol' big ol' big ol' That's not what she's talking about. Now this case it's 30 little cheeseburgers.

What? It's a crazy case. Oh good, I just drank a bunch of beer. Red for those hamburgers. There you go. And I will drink all the fast food right now in order. Culver's is number one. Everything else is number two. Here we go.

So here's what we know we know that Mickey Rock is dead now we know that he's the brother of Madeline to mark wait no he's not marking mark a lie which is news to me the whole town thinks he's dead uh-huh between he's alive and with his sister Madeline to mark and the whole town thinks he's dead. Which means he's alive and with his sister, Madeline Demar. And the chief of police. And the chief of police, Holy cow. But you just let him slip to the most scary man in town that he's still alive. Oh, yeah.

And he may have an awful big reaction so it seems like maybe he was involved. Maybe he was involved. And he thought he was dead. So he's pulling one over on baby face? Baby doll. Dolly boy? Dolly pot. So what do we do now? We got face. Baby doll. Dolly boy. Dolly pot. So what do we do now?

We gotta follow the doll. Excuse me, excuse me, Coke Princess. What was your name again? Coke in. I'm glad that you asked. Can I just call you Coke in? I know you two are breaking. Mickey, my name is Cibbl Sydney

and I'm the head reporter for the Red All over the Lover. Okay, I don't know if she thinks that she's still talking, but she's fastest sleep. I have a huge fan of seconds. So why don't we do this, Brick? Why don't we take a little break? Let her sleep it off. Well, you know what?

Before we go, I want one more thing to say to you. OK. I think Mark, you might have been hiding in a little house in the village of Kwan Gray. I don't know the exact location, but I know someone who does know. But you might not like who that is. Come back here. Just tell us who it is.

You just jumped off the bridge. OK, we're going to hear from what she has, but minus a D, we're gonna hear an ad. ADD, get it. Mickey? Get it? Yeah, get it, Brick. Kinda pretty good. That kind of fun. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help.

I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm sending up a whole website to prank him. Um, okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online.

Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. New and easy to answer, you know. And I'm going setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. New, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Frank. Where? Squarespace. Yes, where is it?

You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine,

head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait.

I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, they're never truly as a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. How do you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems.

He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life

were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and

the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the

woods, isn't that fun? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help.

Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the library that you see helping at home. Bye, I am home. Who are we? What is this? Oh, but who are we? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to,

I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, clink, clink. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well, quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you.

It's that easy. Clean, clean, clean. Mm hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, well, clean, Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to seven hundred and twenty dollars a year. We love rock.

Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. RocketMoney.com slash riddle.

And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love you rocket money. I like that. Well, that was like no Jack Antoineoine but the rest of the band kind of fun Yes indeed brick yes indeed the next morning after bacon and eggs and coffee and bacon and eggs and coffee Brick and Mickey sat in front of a sheet of glass brick took a deep breath picked up the phone and started to listen Well well well if it is a deity,

it's the tampon thief. You two sing him a jigspot, me, my mind, boys, how dare you come in here to see me, you better apologize. And I can't believe I have to even ask for an apology. I'm the only one who does the emotional labor in front. Apology, I'm the only one who does the emotional labor in front. Now, come on, Mickey, that was it, nice. She was screeching something, Addison.

It's best to listen to the finish of the screech. Oh, I'm, she's still on the phone. I thought you asked me what my favorite movie was. Yeah, it is a flip. I have to come over, I have to come over. I have to come over. I have to go to school. All right, to call her in order. All right, talk on reddit.

All right, oh my goodness. Look, me and Brick over here, I'm downright sorry about everything that we did, the condition that she had, we know that now you didn't kill Mark and Mark because we have an healthy system. Oh yeah, you know that now. I can't believe it.

You can't punish me. You can't punish me. Yeah, we're really, we're really, we want to remember that part of the, okay, fine, tampon thief. You tampon thief. Yeah, we're really, we're really, we want to remember that part of the, okay, fine, that's fine. It's one of my favorite things that happened in Pat. Well, I didn't take it home, I left it there on the floor. Yeah, I took it home. I took it home.

Yeah, right, right. Before I even talk to you for one more second. Tell me some things you like about me. Coco, I just want to say that I hate your voice. What? I said you're wrong because you said hate instead of laugh. Jokes on you, today's opposite date. It's actually Wednesday, so we're fucking lying.

Well, I'm lying. He's actually Wednesday, so we're fucking lying. Well, I'm lying. He's a unicorn. Because I'm always horny, and after what? And bear with me. Why what? I'm doing so good in here, thanks for asking. Coco, I want to apologize. I feel like we put the case on you, and that wasn't fair.

You clearly are innocent, and we just want to make sure that you understand that you're essential to our case and we want to work with you and not against you. Maybe you want to stay in this jail. Maybe I love jail. You love jail? I'm being facucius. I'm being facucius. Well, facucius says that be careful what you wish for. Oh, am I saying that right, Pesuchus? Sure. Pesuchus. They let me chew all the gum I want in here and I chew in all the gum. Gum?

Masted the first time, got it the second time. Happy that I heard it correctly. Now... Yeah, yeah, yeah. People have been sniffing around here for more information. Simplisonney from the red all over came in here and I told her everything I know already. Oh, that's why this glass here is a cover to coaxmyers. Yeah, she did a lot of cocaine in front of me.

It believes she was doing cocaine on a vertical glass. Oh, I just heard coaxmy in. I'm glad it was cocaine. Not what I thought of. Not a patchmy. Well, since here a bunch of jerks, I'm going it was Cokes, and not what I thought of him. Not a patchmean. Well, since you're a bunch of jerks, I'm gonna make you do as many riddles as I want before I give you any information.

Now, that's not the law, and even in jail, you have to abide by the laws. It's one riddle per piece. Yeah, yeah, what are you gonna do? Hang up on me! How'd it? How'd it do? Hello, my little boy.

I was just as loud without that. Oh, my God. Coco, Coco? Yes, you're good. If you're willing to help us out, we'll make you like a seasonal college and spring you out of here. All right, here in my riddle. A prisoner escaped from a prisoner beginning to make... What?

You're in prison right now. Yes, I do, it's prison themed one. OK, OK. We don't began to make you do what you're in prison right now Yes, I do it's prison themed Because I'm in prison doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor anymore stop reading my t-shirt and get to these rooms Yes, because I'm reading it's right in front of me just because I'm in prison. That's what I have a cool shirt Yeah, it's right of a cool shirt. Yes! To wear for me. And Uncle asked me about my dick. Is it normal? No. Ugh. All right, here we go.

A prisoner escaped from a prison and began to make a dash on foot. He ran for about three miles with intimate and stops to catch his breath until he saw police cars come and towards him. Instead of turning in the opposite direction and making a run for it, the man man towards the police car briefly before turning and running into a nearby wood sky. Why did the man run towards the police car? Was he trying to cross a state line? No.

Was he trying to cross a country line? No. Was he trying to cross a country line? No. Is he trying to make the cops think he was crazy? No. Do you think I'm crazy? No, just your voice. Wait, I think that she was singing a to put it in the time champagne and champagne and he hates them little ducks I like to think in the present from my friends they love it and I Never leave any stabbed, a couple times. Good, boo! I've only been going for a couple. Wait, are we singing a song? I don't know.

A couple. Ah, I feel so alive. I never had enough of that. All right, talk to her. I don't know what. All right, so a man was running from the cops. He slowed down to catch his breath. He then ran towards the cop and then into the woods.

Uh-huh. Okay. Was he trying to cross some line of demarcation of some point? You're close. Okay. It's not quite a line. Demarcation that reminds me of Madeline and Demarc. In our vacation we called it a demarcation because she was such a whipper snap of a tornado. We used to take turns eating each other out. Well that's what we call taking each other out to eat. You can have each other out. What? Well, that's what we call taking each other out to eat. You can't have each other out. But also, that's the Arcos.

Go down in your whilst. I'm reading your hat now. Uncle, go down on your wife. My hat says that's my Tuesday, bitch. Would you want to hear any of my songs? No. We, all right, so. You don't?

I do. All right, tell me what of my hits that you want me to sing. Uh, shallows. Tell me something, boy. Boy, boy, I'm gonna fill that boy. How many of the songs? I do you need more. What song do you want to hear?

I want to hear, you know, your famous ditty, which is called Mo Money Mo Problems. That's my favorite diddy. Oh boy. Well, that's a P diddy. I want to hear your original. I want to hear the happy little cat does the happy little dance. The happy little cat does the happy little cat. Mo money is the hottest guy in town.

And he's got some happy little cat to do, a happy little dance. The cats are a dice soon. Cause you've stayed up in nine lives. This is a sad song. It doesn't sound like a sad song, but it turns out it's a sad song. And he did it.

Cap solo, capless soul. It's a completely sad song. She said it's a shame. She said it's a download. She's a champion in the tip, but he kept it in theity tap and then let it set up a ding tap tap and it's not quite done. It's 11 more minutes. It's not quite done. It goes for some more tiffity tap and we're going to do it. It's a 30 seconds per 11 minutes. Here we go. I added four more minutes. Here we go, a tippity tap bit. I hit that, that, that, that, that.

What? I think I've, I think you have an answer to this riddle. Yeah. I think I'm like someone's scaling a mountain to 12. I meant the, no, my rope. Yes, well, okay. Now, that's a mountain is an interesting distinction, because this could be something that has to do with height.

They said that they were catching their breath every three minutes Co go I got a question Does any of the distance that they're crossing is it are they going up or down? Or does that matter? It's not quite a mountain. It's a hill. It's a different type kind of road. It's not quite your oh I think I know what type of road is it an old town road You know my son. Yeah, can we hear old town road? I

Hate the song old town road the one that plays constantly I Know you don't want to sing that song Take me home to I don't want to lose your The country road Take me home to that be my country, baby Be my country, baby Wow, you know what cocoa I'm coming around to you

Maybe the two of us should go on the road Hit the road hit it hard with a voice thing Yeah, do a little two-person show. I rate, but I only do bottom nudity on stage. That's okay, I'll do top nudity. That's exactly what a boxer would do. We are a fun pair. Yeah, I'm not, this was a hard one to give a hint for without giving it away.

That's okay, you can give it away as much as you want. Do you like a red hot chili pepper? Give it away now. How's that one go? That's pretty much it. Okay. Okay, well, he was halfway across this different kind of road. Okay, well a rocky road.

Grabbing road? Kinda road. Yeah, he a rocky road. Grabbing road? Kind of road. Yeah, he was halfway across the ice cream. You fucking idiot! You butt thief! I'm mad at you all week. Was it a highway?

KJ, my cellmate, thought that one was ridiculous. Was it a, well I had a KJ? Although KJ truly does feel like my cell but sometimes I'm in this blackjack. All right, all right, we're all trapped here together. They laugh and they're sharing one brain, so. I was born in Drs. Now let's see, it was a specific type of road. Type of road, a winding road.

Could be a winding road that came back and like weaved in and out. Why would you, why would it be logical to run towards the cop? It's a safety reason, it's a... Oh, because they had the tire slasher on it or something that the cop would be running into the tire slasher? That's a way better answer, that's so clever.

Okay, okay, is it like a Paula Abdul song where he has to take two steps forward or one step back? How's that one go? We go together like opposite the track Let me think it's certain type of road. Well, it's like a road on top of something bridge It's about it the tail-paw and thief Strikes again. He doesn't like that nickname. I see a wearer in on him. Oh, the man was more than halfway across the bridge when he spotted the police car. So the quickest way to leave the bridge was to run towards the police car than turn and run into the lake.

That makes sense. Thank you for bringing anything out of me. Be careful here. We brought you this chocolate cake. So enjoy this chocolate cake, but be careful that you don't bite Right here, and I'm gonna eat it right now. I'm gonna go in Fireland side careful does a 10 by 9 fire with some papers inside it give hints to how to get out They all tell how to escape from prison Hint you giving me hints of how to get out? Yeah, to riddles.

Riddles. That's right. And all the hell. Coco, you've fallen for your own game. Now, you can answer those riddles that we wrote in that file and baked it into that cake, by the way. Neither one of us know how to bake a cake or what goes into one. So, it's pretty much an old fun.

So enjoy digging that paper out of that lupuff edge. You'll sow it sow, you crazy old. So in there, there and here. Alright, you jerks, maybe I'll make you do another video. No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna make you do one more, because I know people hate this voice. So I'm gonna make you go for long now.

I'm just gonna hear it, but be in brick. In my stomach, KJ, who's the one who stabbed me for my boy. What are they in for? Being cute as a button. Oh yeah, that's one of the biggest crimes in Riddler City. That's why two dumb shit ugly MOOCs like us get away with murder. What off of it?

In Riddler City, cute stands for Killing. Yep, cute with a cane. Keep going. Killing under tents every time. Every time. And button stands for bringing. Bringing underwear to tomorrow's underwear that working. Who makes these up? That's a butt row.

Are you ready? Yeah, ready. I don't love this one. Why don't you love me? Why don't you not marry it? Why don't you make like Rick, you're right. I'm actually gonna do another one. Okay. All right, fine.

You wanna know, Mackie's aware about. I'm not 100% sure he's there, but if he's in quandary I know where he is. Alright just spit it out. Get a pen and pencil. What's okay I can't let go all the way home. Now you're brother. Thank God I'm pencil. And now you get a right on the pencil with the pen. Oh yeah. Okay. Shit I'm sorry about a pen and teller, so... Well, just a pen work? That's fine, write this down. You'll find him at one main street in

quandary. The DMX have a little house there. Mark and I have used to go there to kiss and hug until he framed me from murder. Yep. You two better get out of here. Oh, and brick.

I want you to have my locket. I might help you and bring you some clarity. Rick shoved it in his pocket and instantly forgot about it. Sounds about right? All right, get the hell out of here. I'm about to get my outdoor time. They sent me outside and I killed all the birds in the woods with my voice. Can we hear what that sounds like?

I think we just have. Like a reverse sleeping beauty over here. What? A boy. He arrived here on the telephone, singing a good advice on to the guys who again I get me off the murder. I'm a kid with Siri, I'm cuckoo for coke though, I think she's great. and shout it on the channel. Why wouldn't you let me sit on the window seat? Because we didn't pay for tickets. I want to be as un-unvisible as possible. Why don't we just have that big shouting fight about the window seat?

To distract the ticket taker from taking a ticket. Break you the spot as man I know. That's why you're the boss and I'm the muscle. That's right. I'm the boss and you're the muscle. Let's see. You're the brains and I'm the trains. We're out of train. And that train's taking us to Quadrant.

Here's a quadrant for you. What did I get the fucking window seat? Well, I said I wanted it. Well, because I'm the leader and you're the Peter. Does that make sense? The Peter would have been better. I'm the top dog and you're the bottom cats. I'm the head tomato and you're the heirloom to the fortune.

I'm the dolphin and you're the heirloom to the fortune. I'm the dolphin and you're the tiny dolphin. I'm a porpus. Yes, you don't have a porpus. I don't have a porpus. You don't have a porpus in the kitchen, I have to be an dolphin. I understand, Brick. Bullio boy, I can't wait to get to this shack at Main Street and really run into market and market. One Main Street. Now is that any main street with a number one? One main street is another mainstrosion. Ooh, that's correct. Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm. They made their way to a beautiful little cottage at one main street in Guandre. Marke answers the door. He's handsome, but he looks like he hasn't slept in days. So we're looking for a market of mark. Have you seen him? It's, um, it's me. It's Marke, you found me. and slept in days. So we're looking for a market of mark. Have you seen them?

It's, it's me. Hey, it's Mark, you found me. Now I will answer you, Riddle, but. I'm afraid you would misunderstand us, sir. We're looking for Mark Ydemark. He's a person who faked his own death. It's me, it's me, I'm Mark Ydemark. Tell us something only Mark Ydemark would know.

My name is Mark Ydemark. How would I? It's Mark Ydemark. How would I know that? How would I ever be able to verify? Holy shit. I'll trust you, Brick, you smart of me. Just come in quick, please.

Please, just come in. Okay, you need to get out of the doorway. Hold on. Is this getting out of the doorway? You turn sideways, but you're wide as hell. You turn sideways. I'm even wider sideways. I'm just super broad-handsome.

I want to drink wine all this talk about how did you how did you find me. Well we use logic and reason deduction to do riddles those riddles got us clues and those clues brought us to use and also Coco gave you away you big shit bird. Yeah I miss I miss Coco and I'm sure I did what I had to do. How is she? Hey man, why? How? You miss Coco?

I mean I just, I didn't want to frame, I miss Coco and having a little bit of marshmallows in it and also I missed the drink. Yeah, sure. Sure, you put a little bit of marshmallow on Coco? Yeah, of course. Oh, no need to hear about this. Well, if she's so important, do you want your frame or marking? No, I did, I did what I had to do on my monster. I know. Can you just do her voice? Really quick, so I just feel like she's here.

Okay, my name is Coco Chanel. And what I got is what you want. Say, give me a song. No, go, go, catch me. Give me a song, any song. You want to hear one of my hits? That's how it goes, it goes like this. My name's Coco Keshmeh. I like the dink-dink. It's a living. Give me a, say a song. Um, how about your song, um, Bubbles in my Drink

and also in the Sky? Well, I'm sitting at a table drinking drinks with the bubbles and up. When the Sky there was nothing but the travel, but it's range up to me drinking I've ever been in juice Oh my god, I love my moves My miss his name is Steve and he's always on the phone Get off the phone, you're running up the bill

Speaking up the bill, I gotta kill my duck. Lasty little boy who tries a monster truck. Well, it's got four tires. So it just feels like she's here. Yeah. 12 more minutes. Oh, it's something she would say. All right, I'm sorry.

Just come in and sit. If you just answer my riddle that I can just tell you whatever you need to know. Here's what we want to know. Before you pose the riddle just so you know what you're getting yourself into and agreeing to. Your vocal cords are bleeding, I can see it. Out of my eyes. Why didn't Madeline leave me?

That's what we're here about. Nope, that... Come on, get... Put the guy by show that right quick. We're not here for that. We know what that's all about and it's your fault Brick. Well, we're here about is the truth, Markey. So ask your riddle. Okay, my ears. My little...

What, sorry, what lies at the bottom of the sea and the chivers? The liner here, Nikon. What lies at the bottom of the sea and chivers? Me timbers. Is it long john chivers? Wait, what lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers. Me timbers. Is it long john shivers? Wait, what lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers? I hate eating, eating, oh gosh, my beard's in the cold. Long john soup, shivers. Long john shivers. I'm just rest-jotting.

Truly, my vocal cords are ruined. I can't stop crying. It's not that damn... How do you think I feel? It's not that damn mark of mine. You're right, good point. It's not that damn mayor of town. John Philip Schubert, is it?

He's always at the bottom of the sea. Um, I can't wait to play that next episode. I'm fully out of voices if you could probably tell. For sure. So what lies at the bottom of the sea in shivers? Is it a worm? On a fishing line? Is it a pond? Is it a pond?

Yeah, it's sort of, I guess you can, well, it's not a pond, but I guess you can call it in that vein. Planned what? Planned what, it's what. Something that Chivis is cold. So cold, freezing, goosebomb. Chilled, chilled. Is it a fish?

No. Is it an object or is it a living being? It's an object. Okay, shivers. Is it an anchor of sorts? Shivers. Closes with an anchor. When you're in prison, you might make a shiver. And people who stab with the shivers are shivers. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?

Is it a shipwreck? The dada-ron. Yeah, so it. You're getting close. One of those words is ship. The wreck. Is the correct word? What lies on it? The bottom of the sea and shivers. A wreck, loose, a wreck. The wrecked them. Damn, they're killed. So if it's a wreck, why would it shiver? Are these like the people that perished in a ship wreck that have floated to the bottom of the sea?

No, it's a play, it's like a joke, it's more of a joke than a joke. What dies at the bottom of the sea in shivers? Is quandary in joke town? Yeah, just on the border. Oh, that's a joke town. We're just on the border of joke town and rental city. Oh, gosh, I border. Oh, okay. Just on the border of Georgetown and Riddle City. Oh, gosh, I'm having a bad mood. So, what else I'm gonna do with Rec?

Is the Rec something to do with a ship or a boat or a vessel? Rec is a part of the word in it. If someone wants to make one of those maps that's at the beginning of a fantasy book, it's Puzz Town, Joke Town, riddle city and quandary. That's not part of the riddle, right? No. Okay, gotcha. Can you answer my question? Yeah, it's like a wreck is one of the words. It's what lies in the bottom of the sea and

shivers. I can't say much more than I'm getting rid of. And it's a joke. I don't want to see any shivers. Something with wreck. Home wrecker. Someone do with cold. Cold wreck. Cold press. Is cold in there at all? No. Where does shivers come in?

Yeah, it's a reason why maybe you would shiver. Isn't why you shivers? That's not when you're not cold. Scared? No. Goose bumps. Fear. Fear. Fear. I'm a wreck.

I'm a total wreck. I'm a... It's I'ma? It starts with I'ma? No, but that... I'ma blank wreck. I'ma blank wreck. I'ma blank wreck.

Absolutely wreck. Fucking wreck. I'ma... I'ma scared wreck. That's the closest, but it's... A spooky wreck. I'ma... What do people say?

I'ma... I'm afraid. I'm a fear wreck. I'm a nervous wreck. You didn't get it, but I'll... Why would you shiver if you're nervous? What the fuck? Well, I'm shivering right now. It's cold in here.

It's freezing. It's absolutely... What do you get? She said a 51. I've really lived long-distance. That's a refrigerator. Wait, let me see this book here. Broken jokes.

Yeah. I'll just say no good. Let me read another one here. What has two feet and blood for a head? Elephino. I love it. Makes no sense. Oh, oh, oh.

Let me see this book of broken jokes. Let's see, what's got 50 teeth, 50 racers are teeth, and can turn on a washer machine. Crocodile. What is this book? Get this book the hell out of here. Do you get another one I love of? Alright, here you go. Pass it back to you, brick.

Okay, what is a happy kid say on his birthday? Dead by Don. What? Here, brick, you read another one. Okay. Dead by Don. What? Here, break you read another one. Okay, uh, uh, what did the, uh, Yuna Bama put on his train? Anthrax?

What is this book? Let me see this book here. Knock, knock, who's there? Knock, knock, who's there? Banana. Who? Banana. Who?

Banana. You. You who? Chocolate milk. Nest quick. You break me down over to them. What did you say break me down to the wall? That's you my friend, go ahead. Well, I call my own shots. So, babe, Ruth in it over here.

Let's see here. What do you call a candy bar with no chocolate? Payday? Well, that was pretty good. I heard you. I'm over the observation that, but that's a sign telling us. Let me take this book and a bar, kick it in space.

All right now. We're indoors and we're straight through the roof. Sorry about that. You've got so much of our stuff. It'll be warmer in here. That's a good thing. Now Mark, tell me what's going on. Okay, okay fine.

I owed a lot of people a lot of money. We knew that. So Matt and Linda, the chief of police help me get off the map for a little bit. Thanks, God is it off the map. Well, famously, even if minutes me get off the map for a little bit. Thanks, got his head off the map. Well, famously, a minute ago you described the map and you're very much on it. Quandery was below. I'm trying to get off, I'm just trying to stay out of this spot like, um, like, that wasn't just, it wasn't just that, I saw someone else in the room.

I'm dying of the darks after an editing and time to myself. Someone else in the room? Huh. A mayor of town. John Fiddler looks cool. I don't think you've been paying attention. His daughter took over from him. What? He's tired. The mayor's daughter is me.

Wait, did I miss something? Who's the mayor's daughter? No, you're right. It's daughter is me. Wait, did I miss something? Who's the mayor's daughter? No, you're right, it's Mia Scuba. Yeah. It's Mia Scuba. Mia Scuba's Mia Coba. Mia Mia Scuba. Mia Scuba's Mia Coba.

Coba. Coba. Hold on, let me get that clean. That's what I say when I order dessert. Mia Mia Scuba. Mia Mia Scuba's Mia Coba with baby face. Wait, me a scooper. Man, me a scooper's, me a copper with baby fish. Wait, and didn't man me a scooper just get married? Married?

Man, me a scooper, man, copper. Yeah. And she's a culprit. So, married. You guys can get to the chicken copper, Savannah. And baby fish goes by cake and copper. Ha, ha, ha. Cake, copper, cake, copper.

Married, me, yeah. You both sound like. This is my cake cobra. I can't cook, I can't cook, but... Merry Mayer. You both sound like... Mea scuba. People sound like cypals Sidney right now. Just talking a mile a minute. Listen, I'm insane in these are my puppets. So please, get to the point. I think she's addicted to...

It doesn't matter. But I think they saw me eat down at the docks. They saw me see them. And even worse, I think the shipment was... Oh, hold on. I need a drink. And I'm going to go get some candy from the kitchen, I'll be right back. Put some more juice in it. Okay, okay.

Well, no, she's drinking brandy, she wants to put some of, who's saying that song with brandy? Bada-cut! Thank you. Alright. Oh, I love friends. Yeah, I love being. Yeah, I bet. I love being friends with you, bro. Oh, speaking of, huh.

Can I have your apartment? Let's switch apartments. Hey, we do it once a year, why not? Yeah, remember that time I had a duck as a pet? That was kind of fun. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Rick, we got a concentrate. All right.

Now I want to use. Mia and babyface. Yes. Mayer, mayer, mayer, mayer, maya scuba, maya copa, is a culprit. A copa cabana. And she's working with him, and they're bringing, in another party, yet to be named,

and they're bringing something into the city. Riddle city. The city we live in. The city was switching to a park, and said. Just then they heard a smash from the kitchen. Somebody wants to meet her real quick. Let's get in there. Good strong and I'll draw my dukes.

They rush and see a wide open window, shattered glass, and the golden brandy and orange juice start to mix with marquees red blood. He was dead. Oh no. Brick and Mickey rushed to the window, and saw a car speed away. It couldn't see the faces of the people

and it would recognize that red coat, but the getaway driver was wearing it. Carmen Sandi, hey! He never forgot a past love's favorite jacket. Red blood, red coat. Now, we live in a city of black and white. There's only one person who's red all over, and that's that... Neil David!

Oh, I'm sorry! No! Red, red, white! That was... Madeline. Huh. Red all over and that's that you're dead. Oh, I'm sorry. No red red That was maddening Huh, she read me like a book covered a cover Bump bump bump bump bump End of part two. So how are we doing? Adela and JPZ. I am Bada bada badaba, fucking loving it. We have one more of these, and the mystery will be solved,

and we'll put all these characters to death. Oh, good. Anything to plug? Aaron, how are these to make? They're so fun to make. Part three is definitely my favorite, so far. I've written all of them. I think I was talking about these cookies.

Oh, these are? How are these to make? I actually don't know how to make cookies, so those are a pile of fudge. I want to plug a few things. It feels so weird to switch into our normal voices. Aaron, this is fucking awesome. Thank you so much. I'm so glad that you're having fun.

I do want to plug. We do have a new piece of merch. It's Patreon only in our store on tpublic.com. This is by Jasmine Darnell. You're going to want to follow her at Jasmine Darnell. That's at JASMIN, D-A-R-N-E-L. It is a baby baby crap right in Goon shirt. You can also get it as a sticker or a tote or a mug or anything you want.

So please check that out. You do have to be a patron member to get access to that. And also speaking of, join our Patreon. It's only $5 a month. You get new episodes every single Friday. That's less than a dollar an episode or get new episodes every single Friday. That's Less than a dollar an episode or more than a dollar an episode. I forget. It can't be much more or less than that We have over 30 episodes on the patreon including all of our live shows. We have a road trip We have hay relationship relationship, which was one of our favorite things we have recorded couples counseling

We have we remade homeward bound We have a pilot for a podcast called phrase the roof. We've created superheroes for ourselves We have an escape the room special. We have a four part D&D series called six weeks till set up All kinds of stuff. You're gonna want to check that out. That's a patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle And I would like to plug my You can follow me on social media. It's at JP so fly on Twitter at shark barkman on Instagram on social media, it's at JP so fly on Twitter, at Shark Parkman on Instagram. Mariah has also recently made an Instagram for Spaghetti, a Spaghetti exclusive Instagram. It is at Goody Girl.

Girl is a G U R L Goody G O O T I. So follow Goody Girl and look at more pictures of my freaking dog. Follow me, Erin Keith keep 10 on Instagram, and I'll have information about a web series I just made, and shows that I'm in on there. And Erin, the character of Mickey Rorke's wife, she's called Vicky the Poop. Vicky the Poop, but she was actually at one point

called Vicky the... Jupiter! Bye forever. This has been Hey Rural Rural. Created by Adolf Refin. at one point called Vicky the... TOO PIDA! Bye forever! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you