Hey Riddle Riddle - #81: Hey Riddle City Part 3!

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

Welcome back to Riddle City! Our time with PI Brick Stoneheart and Mickey Rourke is coming to a close. Will they solve the mystery? Or will the riddles slow them down too much? What happened to Marky DeMark? Will you throw your headphones across the room if Coco Cashmere shows up? All your questions will be answered(maybe) if you listen to the finale of Hey Riddle City!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a Headgun Podcast. Welcome to your last visit to Rital City. All good stories come to an end. Some exceptions to this are the fast and the furious and swan lumps. Here's the rehash rundown summation of everything you missed. But if I were you, I'd go back and listen to the first two episodes. At the top of the story, Brick Stoneheart, a brooding PI with a curious pass that sounds like this. I can't find my pants. And… goddammit. And Mickey Rork, an ex-boxer whose assisting Brick to help make ends meet, who sounds like this. These aren't my pants, Pleasure, who love what I found in the pockets. I've been sent on a fool's errand to solve the disappearance of Markey to Mark.

The gentleman found Markey, but before he could tell them the things he saw that he ought not to have seen, he got murdered. And in case he'd do like a bumbumbumb! His sister Madeline, oh wait, put it there. Yep, his sister Madeline, Brick's old flame, who hired them in the first place, was seen in the getaway car right after the motor. Ha, ha, ha, ha. One, two, one, two, three, go.

The doctor, the mother. Hmm, he's still on a blocker night stay. Both of them were cold again. It was the cabin of an airplane. She's stabbing me that I sickle. And then I was sleeping right at home. Yeah, wait a second. The gentleman took the train back to Riddle City and chatted to each other as they enjoyed eggs and bacon and coffee and eggs and bacon and coffee.

Man oh man, drinking coffee on a train is one difficult feat. Yes, speaking of difficult feat, I can't seem to put my shoes on properly. It's probably because I can't find my pants. Not a pocket full of parker poses. Parker poses? Well, I just smoked a pack of parker poses as we were leaving You know what break I got your pants. You got my pants full of parker picker picker Posey or not anymore. I spoke that packer parker poses and picked a packer parker So put them in the verse old friend

The mystery boys have done it again Like what have we done like when I lost a combination to my luggage case closed We solved it. Brick, we didn't solve anything. Man, got murdered and the woman got away. Well, that's what happened. She got away. We'll never catch her, but we know she did it.

Yeah, the mystery's not catchin' it. The mystery is solvein' where they, what happened, and what become of them. Yes, exactly. Sure. That's the police's job to catch the criminals. It appears there's been some alcohol put in their coffee. Brick and Mickey made their way to the police station, dodging and weaving their way through

the crowded streets. Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh- Outside of the police station, Brick hesitated. If you remember, Brick was the best cop Brittle City has ever seen before he had to retire the force and disgrace and move over to the private sector. The station was filled with cops killing time, almost as if crime didn't exist anymore. No one seemed busy. Look at all these cops killing time. Whereas I, when I was a cop, used to take time in, ask questions, make sure it was guilty, then I'd kill it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, take time in, ask it questions, make sure it was guilty, then I'd kill it. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you followed the procedures and the laws, brick, and that's why you were a good cop. What are the best? The two men made their way to an office that said, Chief of Police, Drake Doyle on the door. They knocked. Ah, Drake Doyle. Here we go, knock it, knock, knock. Come in, I'm behind the door! You're like, I'm behind the door. Can't open the door if you're behind it. Why don't you go sit down and then I can open it? Okay, okay here we go Oh you smashed her my door brick and Mickey hey fellas. I didn't expect to see you to hear oh boy I am surprised to see you it's not easy to see your ex dolls new husband, which is me. I'm her new husband

I'm with Madeline now. You must be so sad! Y'all want cupcakes? Wait a minute, you're John Phillips, Coober? No. No, that's the mayor of town. I'm the chief of police, Madeline's new husband, Trina. Drake Doyle. Drake Doyle, motherfucker. Well, this sucks to see and sucks to hear. You're a cupcakes? Oh, I love a cupcake.

Why don't you take a fuck break and go fuck yourself? That's a little rude. This sucks to see and sucks to hear. You're cupcakes? Oh, I love a cupcake. Why don't you take a fuck break and go fuck yourself? That's a little rude. You're being a little rude when you stole my Madeline, like a thief in the night. I don't know, even know how I got her. Technically since he's here, not with her, he's on a fuck break.

Hey guys, mind if I play with my ball of yarn while I talk to you? Boy, this guy's a little caddy. Listen, Doyle, I came here to you? Boy, this guy's a little caddy. Listen, Doyle. I came here to do something important. Now, I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my former lover. Oh, Madeline? I have to solve for X.

Yeah, well, we just got word that Markey died. Did you guys hear about that? No, we were nowhere near it. Pretty sad. I liked that guy. He was one of the only people who didn't call me the dumbest man they've ever known. Huh, blood out in quandary, you say you say? That's a shame to hear.

Yeah, he's so sad. Oh man. And two days, that's a hot diggity damn shame. Mm-hmm. I mean, I'll tell you guys what I know, but you gotta answer riddle first. Okay. Do you like my yarn? No.

Wait, do you have, do you have a flashlight on you? Because I don't take that around the room. Like, look, I can catch it. I can. Okay, Chase, you chased this flashlight at the other room. Yeah. Ow. Serve you.

You got it. I caught it. Okay. You caught it with your noggin. I meant the light, but. Pfft. Hahaha. Anyways, here's your riddle.

Are you guys ready? Mickey, Mickey, come over here for a second. Okay. Is it just me or is this guy a few grapes short of a bundle? I've never had a grape. Sorry, is he a few chalkboards short of a principle? Hmm, I was never very good at school. Is he a few orgasms short of a- My finger stuck at my mouth.

My finger stuck at my mouth. Can you guys help me get it out? I'll give it to you straight. This guy says dumb as a box of blocks. That's what I've been trying to say. My finger stuck at my mouth. Yeah, why don't you me get it out? I'll give it to you straight. This guy says dumb as a box of blocks. That's what I've been trying to say. My finger stuck in my mouth. Yeah, why don't you try pulling it out? Is this my finger? That's not your mouth. It's my elbow.

That's not your mouth. My elbow stuck in my butt. That's true. Okay. Thanks for your help. Are you ready for the riddle? Yeah. We were born ready.

Born ready. We're the mystery boys. You remember in riddle city, you have to answer someone's riddle before they give you information. Just go back and listen to the other episodes. Why does everyone keep telling us that? We know. We live here. Jack is placed in a cell with a dirt floor and only one window positioned so high no one

can reach it. The cell is empty except for a shovel. It's dry and hot in there, but Jack won't get any food or drink anytime soon. He is only two days to break out of the jail. If he... If not, he'll die. Digging a tunnel is not an option because it'll take more than two days. How should Jack escape the cell?

Of course, I know the answer. This is a simple solution here. What he does is he puts the shovel, stick down with the blade facing upwards. I'm caught in my sweater. He slams his neck down on the blade, killing himself and releasing himself from the prison of life. That's not the answer, and I'm caught in my sweater. Can you help me get out?

Okay, that's not your sweater. Your elbows and your assholes. Okay, my elbows and my assholes. Here's what you do. You clutch that shovel to your chest, you fake sick, you get a guard to come in. You bash them in the head with that shovel, then you start getting them to spill all their secrets. Tell them all the dirty little secrets. Then, you bash him in the head with that shovel, then you start getting them to spill all their secrets, tell them all the dirty little secrets, then you let them go. You take those secrets and you start a blackmail campaign against that guard. Ooh, you're gonna spill those secrets all out of town, unless that guard brings you fresh juice! And then finally,

you'll get to taste a grape. That's not the answer either, but look, there's a squirrel at my window! Wait a minute, I thought you said you hadn't heard a grape. No, I've never tasted a grape. I know all about them, but I don't know where they come from or what they taste like. What's the answer to the riddle, you guys? How high up is this window?

Kind of high, not too high. High enough to reach with a shovel? No. Buck. Well, it's actually, yeah, it's too high to reach with a shovel. I just burped. Can you use the shovel?

Can you jam the shovel into the wall and use it for leverage like an ice pick that you can use to climb up to that wood? That's clever, but not the answer. Do you use the shovel for digging? Yeah, but not in the way that you may be think. The room, the floor is made of dirt. Think that. So I guess you don't dig a tunnel, but you take the dirt and you pile it up next to the wall so that you can scramble up it like a like a deer tick on its way to heaven. You got it, you guys are geniuses, I can't get anything past you.

Well we're two of the smartest detectives, personally private employed detectives in town, a form of boxers, one of them, current boxer, amateur boxer, I box amateurs, that's amateur porn stars who want to be boxers. And once you were boxing Halena, is that right? Yes, and I do get that reference. And I used to be the, huh, I used to be the former chief police. And now you took my job and you took my wife.

You took your wife too. Do you want one more bonus riddle? I mean, do we have to? Yeah, I mean why not. Okay, what happens when you dial one one six into a phone? You get the police upside down you got it. I love this guy Wait the upside down police. Well, you don't want to call them. They do all things all backwards. They put bullets Into their guns and they don't at holes Not donuts the upside-down police does things all backwards

You know like putting bullets in their guns. Yeah, or they put a badge on you They handcuffed themselves and they read themselves rights. Mm-hmm or left. I'm sorry. They read you left. Yeah, what's a better story? I would not Miranda rights. They are they read themselves carry left I'm less of a Miranda rights and more of a carry left. Okay, you guys. I'll tell you what I know And maybe it's because I'm dumb. I'll just tell you everything that I know you tell us you sort of a bitch What kill you right here? That's a little rude. Oh, I'm sorry. I almost stuck in my butt again. It is you guys Please tell us what you know. Okay, buddy. You're up to your elbow and asshole I'm up to my asshole and elbow. If you're upside down, please, sure.

Europe, that's got to be, I'm going to make you a t-shirt friend, because you keep getting stuck in that sweater and the t-shirt is going to say, I'm up to my elbow and asshole. Look for that in a t-bubble store, friend. What's a t-bubble? Doesn't matter. Would I go to WW? I'll never mind. I help Madeline frame Coco for Marquis murder, so he'd get out of town to protect him.

He owed a lot of people a lot of money. And he saw something he wasn't supposed to see down at the docks by the Antondra. He saw shipment coming in, but even worse, he saw who was collecting it. I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I just do it, Madeline says, I don't know, I'm dumb. I just do what she says.

Maybe go down to the docks and talk to Grip Wilson again? Sure, when my old friend Grip now, I have to say a chief that's compared to a box of rocks. This girl is at my window again. That's not a squirrel. That's an asshole. And your ebbles, people in line. As the men walk to the docks, Cloud started rolling in. Why do you think you can narrate? That's an asshole. And your ebbles, people in line. People in line. As the men walk to the docks, Cloud started rolling in.

Why do you think you can narrate? You're an idiot. Oh, shoot. I'm sorry. I'll see you guys later. All right, bye-bye. Language. It's not the narrator.

You put down your gun. OK. Don't shoot. OK, I'll put double its back in again. Scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop, and good luck, guys. As the men walk down to the dock, clouds started rolling in and a fog settled over them. In the short times, in Say Sog, Grip Wilson,

a six-six man with a scar running the length of his face, he looked like he hadn't slept or had a moment of peace. Where you are? What do I want? I want you to get a good night's sleep. If only I could, I haven't. You want to go to sleep? Grab back and put you to sleep. Go to sleep.

Go to sleep. Stop hitting me. Stop hitting me like that. You look like one of those plastic boxer games where the punch is going the same angle every time. Never tell you about the time where I was in plastic boxers. Ooh, boy, did I chafed. Yeah, and grip, you look like Vanna White moving out of a house.

You have bags under your eyes. Did that go? Was that good? No. Yeah. Thank you for asking if it was good enough. What are you here for? Well, we are told to come see a grip.

We know you got information about a shipment hitting these dacks and we want to know what was on the shipment and who collected it. And we want to know it right now, grip. Fine, I'm told you, but you shoot. Okay, fine. And we know we have to answer a riddle loan. No, no, preface that. We know the rule.

You know it's riddle city. We are, we know it's riddle city. So we ought to answer a riddle first. That's how I could keep this in line with the podcast that we created. The podcast? Forget it. I feel like we're tenuously slipping way too close

to the line on this one, grip. All right, fine. We're fictional characters in a fictionalized world. Mrs. Smith went to the police claiming that her vintage necklace was missing. When the police arrived, they saw no signs of her broken. Only one window... No signs of bacon. Of a break in.

Oh, okay. Only one window was broken. There is a total mess inside the house and dirty footprints all over the floor. The next day Mrs. Smith was arrested for fraud. Why? Can I tell you something, Grip, and I don't want you to get pissed off? What? You said there was no signs of a break-in, but there was one broken window.

Now, maybe I'm the asshole here, but fuck you. Oh, pfft. Let's get one thing. Fuck you. Let's get one thing. I was caught in my face. Let's get one thing. Let's get one thing straight here.

Fuck you. Okay, don't... Mickey, knock him out. No, great. I just want to get one thing to be clear here. I'm just trying to clear straight here. Fuck you. Okay. Mickey knock him out. No, I just want to get one thing to be clear here. I'm just trying to clear the air. Fuck you. I grip, Rick, back off. I haven't gripped so many bricks since I was playing with duplos. Duplo, you played with him in Coachella?

Coachella? Let's see, Coachella. What is he dating, MIA? I just want to make sure everyone understands what's going on here. Fuck you. No, let's get one thing straight here. Fuck yourself. Okay, here's a quick, just like what's going on here. Fuck you. No, let's get one thing straight here. Fuck yourself. Okay, here's a quick, just like food for thought for you. Fuck you.

Aw, thank you, I'm stopping. Now there was a break in, there was no signs of a break in, but I was telling you at the time that I fucked you two, I fucked Bono, the edge, Adam Clayton, and the other one, all at a tour bus. What's the other one today? Who knows, but boy, boy, take your bus guess. Could he finger?

Oh, boy, what's his his name I want to say lemon tour it's that it can't possibly be I want to say his name's beautiful day or the unforgettable fire by the way I got an unforgettable fire from Bado he gave me a venereal disease I thought you got an unforgettable fire for wearing those plastic boxers hey that couldn't have helped well oh wait I think his name is streets because he has no name. That's true. Now can you repeat that riddle? I would love to this voice isn't drawing or painful at all to my body or my you sound like a regular Tom weights Mrs. Smith went to the police claiming that her vintage necklace was meaning when the police are right They saw no sign of a broken only one window was broken. There is a total mess inside the house

and dirty footprints all over the hall. The next day Mrs. Smith was arrested for a fraud. Why? Was it that? Boy, let me see if, try and think through this. I'm gonna say, I have to mold this one up.

Larry Bolin's junior, that's it. That's the fourth member of YouTube. All right, when you said that, you had to mold the sofa. I thought you were talking about the wine you were making. How's that spiced wine coming? My wine! Plunge, plunge, plunge. Did you Google it? I don't know what that means.

Okay. Now, can I ask you was the glass on the inside of the outside of the window? Well, well, well. It seems like you've heard a riddle before. Now, if the glass is on the outside of the window, then it would be... It's half full. She committed the crime because the robber would break in and make the glass on the inside. Turns out Mrs. Smith is pretty bad criminal. The police were sure that Mrs. Smith lied to them because the window was broken from the

inside. If it was broken from the outside, little pleated pieces of glass would be on the rooms floor. Pretty bad criminal reminds me of the time that I wrote a hit song and alien ant farms scooped it from me. What's that? Pretty bad criminal. Everybody thinks they wrote the song but truthfully it was me.

How's that song go? You've been hit by, you've been struck by, they missed you actually. The criminal vista. They tried to punch you and they missed you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no over time like that? Evan? Yeah, when I punched that Lion King, but look at motherfucking. I mean, I once punched a hippo when it's barely any had to put two bandages over a sky because it was so trotious.

What's the rest? Well, I once beat the shit out of the red hot jelly peppers. And you should have seen them flee. Had cocks on the socks. All right, fine. I'll tell you. Tell us the info. Tell us the info. Tell us the info.

We have been taking shipments of... Shits? No, hold on, don't make fun of me. You've been taking shipments. I said the wrong thing on the terrace. It'll be a peppermint, you put in your asshole. Ship, shipments. Why?

I had a shipment once, so I would have to try it. Oh, don't knock it till you try it. What? I had a shipment once and I ruined the first date. What happened? My breath smelled like shit. I did the same thing on a first day of warrants, I put them, or but the opposite. I did a, uh, uh, men up my butt.

Yeah, the date was with you. Oh, we're all that first date together. And I like that you said, don't knock it till you try it. It's like my detective saying anytime you approach a door that could be unlocked. Don't knock it till you try. Are we ready? We have been taking shipments of puns and then Casey please put a sting here when I say puns. We've been taking shipments of Don't say so close to me, message in the bottle.

Okay, KZ, please put a stig of Adal, a cup of Adal going, yo, after I say puns. We have been taking a shipment of puns. Do you know what stings favorite, one of the pull characters is? Yo. We've been taking a shipment of puns. E-O-O!

At the docks and selling them all over town. All of the narrators are you what puns are. So many people in Riddlesity are addicted to puns, because puns are a drug. You take it like cocaine and it has the consistency of glitter. The worst of all the side effects is you can't stop making puns That's where the name comes comes from The worst of all the side effects is that you can't stop making puns. That's where the name comes from Hey, sir, sorry, I don't I'm gonna break the world air and this is that'll talking

This is not pointed at all to you or okay cool back into the world back Yeah, the worst of all the sides. Okay, so you put a sting in here. Yeah. E-O, turn on the railing. Yeah. The worst of all the side effects is you can't stop making puns. That's where the name comes from.

It's also highly addictive and expensive. Oh, that was a great cost to puns, mostly friendships. And friendships are the hardest ships to sail without a sail. Without a paddle. You're up, without a sail. Without a paddle. You're a shit's creek. Without a paddle. On Netflix. Season 1 through 6, streaming now.

How about you follow scraps to the mayor and try to get her to confess and shut the whole thing down. But until then, I can't help you. I'm just trying to protect myself. Well, Gripper, I want to apologize for earlier when I said let me give one thing straight fuck you. I just want to say I'm sorry and I know that you're in a lot of debt, so, Grip, I want to apologize for earlier when I said, let me give one thing straight fuck you. I just want to say I'm sorry. And I know that you're in a lot of debt. So here's a, I don't know, 20 riddle box. What what fucking currency do we use here?

Riddle box. I'm do. Yeah, here's a little box. And Grip, I feel so bad about what I did for you, punching the face scarring and yourself up and knocking at a boxing that I want to do at a solidarity offer you a new match. Would you like that grip? Would you like a to have a match again? Like a match that hasn't been used to light a candle yet? No, no, not that kind of match.

Like a tennis match. No, no, a match grip. Your face and my ass. That's a match for you. You're son of a god. No, we're doing this. Punch. Okay. Say round one round a god. No, we're doing this in a punch.

Right, say round one. Round one, punch, punch, punch. Oh, you got me that time. Do it, do it. Round one, punch, punch, punch, punch, punch. Oh, you got me that time. A third round one, punch, punch, split you down the face. Ah, scar going the other way.

Now there's an X on my face. Ooh, and I gotta say that's like a dog playing Simba's uncle. That's a rough scar. Yeah, I have an X on my face. Sort of like how I had an X on my face. Oh, and I gotta say, that's like a dog playing Simba's uncle, that's a rough scar. Yeah, I have an ex at my face, sort of like, I had an ex at my face last night. Yeah, reminds me of the time, you ate out your girlfriend, your former girlfriend. Remind you of the time, I cheated out my girlfriend.

I had an ex all over my face. Ex gonna give it to you. I don't know, that was right there. I just had to say it. I'm an ex girlfriend, I've never had a girlfriend. Well, I wish you luck. A grip. You're not gonna have any luck with a face like that, but.

I got a crush on that cybil Sydney. She's the only one not addicted to puns. She's addicted to cooking. You just got a real problem. Yeah, you got a real problem. All right, grip, fuck off. We're out of here. I don't go over some boxes and shit.

You'll be dead by dawn anyway. Let's hit the road. No, the mystery boy is back on the case. Now let's go find scraps. Of course, he's usually sitting at the table, even though he has crutches, I believe, with some sort of spider canes that he uses to walk around with.

There he is over there. Scraps. The cutest little boy in the world with crutches. Get away, little kids, little little little scraps. The most disheveled, sad looking little boy in the world with crutches, scraps, hobbles up to them and gestures for them to follow him right as the sun starts to set.

And this might be a good place for a break. Well, this is like when my 14 year old boy comes down to nitta, the sun is starting to set. And this is like getting punched right in where your elbow meets your wrist, A good place for a break. And this is sort of like... You're not gonna top back in my case. No I got it. Hey GPC.

Uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you.

We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like

Online store like it set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with square space? You can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing.

I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords,

our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace, you can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, Adela and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron and Life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow.

Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods. Even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the T-C. In the United J-P-C, hoping at home. Bye, baby. Am home.

Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I wanna talk about my favorite,

my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending,

and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, uh, sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly,

and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket Money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off.

Over three million, oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used Rocket Money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rocket money. Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink. Stop, no, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the

easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money. com slash riddle. Rockin' money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you, Rocket Money. I love you, Rocket Money. And we're back. Can we put another sting in?

Yeah. Excellent. Put on the rail light. Hi, Brick. Hi, Mickey. I would love to take you where you need to go, but um, in Riddle City, you have to... Don't say that. Oh, we don't want to fuck you, kid. Don't have a say. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Well, you're trying to go to a location where only I know where it is. Okay, no, no, lots of, don't, women know where it is, too, kid. We don't need you to take us where. Look, we make it high both when I go to orgasm, very, okay?

But that's not a place that you should have taken us. I thought you wanted to go see the mayor. Well, mayor, mayor, mayor, Culpa? Mayor, mayor, scuba. Mayor, mayor, scuba. Yeah, I thought that's where you needed to go, but I know that you probably don't know this, but in Riddle City, you have to answer Riddle

before I help you out. Oh, damn it, it's good. It's a shit. Of course we know that. I know, I know. I want to see his John, and I want to watch him dick around in the guitar, be a blues hero. I get confused for a piece of shit off,

and so that doesn't hurt my feelings to you. Oh, scrap, that's a shame to hear. Can I ask you something, Jim? Yeah, yeah. What is your home life like? Well, do you remember home? Maybe far away or maybe real nearby. I lived in a house with raccoons.

They told me that I should go by. The raccoons told you to be bisexual? Yeah. Now, the raccoons are telling you to go by, you might be JP Riddles. We're bisexual raccoons and we want the best for you little scraps. So go on to a new world of being a home-less child. I just went back into a memory of my homeless vacuum family. Oh, are the raccoons the ones that broke your legs? No, no.

Did you jump off a roller coaster? Those are the only two options I can assume. Yeah, I jumped off a roller coaster. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't a rollercoaster. Oh, I don't know. Breaking legs quick to save other orphans. Oh, it was or can day at the rollercoaster. It was hold on. That's going to be a sorry, that's going to be a dead stop. No, every day's orphan day at the roller coaster. So, let me, I just

need to unpack the sentence. It was often day at the rollercoaster. So orphans don't even get their own amusement park, or theme park. They just have one roller coaster in town, and it's one that celebrates off and day, but you can easily jump off of and hoarse yourself. No, it's just not very safe. It was a roller coaster actually built

in celebration of orphan black, very popular Canadian television show. Well, the orphans have been treated very well. We got hired to, and this is really sad because we're kids But you know how we mostly do riddles for kids It's because we've been hired to sell puns all over town and to make sure people get a dick No all over town you've been selling puns as they told me I had to I haven't taken any.

None of the kids have taken any but but. Wait a second. These crutches yourself and full of puns. Let me take these crutches and... Yeah! I needed them but also they were filled with puns. But are they gone now? I threw them right into that river. That's okay. I'll crawl. All right. Are you ready for the riddle?

Yes, we are, scraps we are. A lonely man lived in his house in the suburb of the city. Is this your future? Come on, man. You wake up for the city scraps. I'm an orphan whose crutches you just threw into the ocean. And you're telling me I'm gonna be lonely forever. Let's come on man.

Real quick, let's brainstorm some riddle city suburbs. Let's see. Okay, what do you got to get? Others quandary. What? Shut up, shut up. Moquita. Moquita, we got. We got. That's coquita.

What do we got to get? Elk Grove Village. Libertyville. What do we got to get? Oak Park. Evan Stan. What else we have here? Are we. Evan Stone. No, what else we have here? Are we supposed to be doing riddle things

or are we just listening Chicago ones? I don't know Chicago, but no suburbs. You don't know Chicago, 25, a six to four? Ha ha ha ha. Ready? Yes. Yes. Wait, for what?

The riddle. Oh, yes. It was a lonely man. He lived in a house in the suburb of a city. He never left the house for long. It was a mid-summer Friday. Wait, isn't he never left the house for long? Or he never left the house for long?

What does that mean? What? Justin Furlong? American history ex? I feel like your character is mostly repop culture references that don't exist in this universe. A lot of what you're saying sounds like, uh, hey, I'm just reading the tube cards by the fuck.

It was amid some of Friday when the mailman walked by and called out for the man. There was no answer. The mailman looked into the window and saw him in a pool of blood. When the police man arrived, he found Tuesday's newspaper, two bottles of warm milk, and one bottle of cold milk outside of the door. The next day the killer was arrested. How did the police find out who it was so quickly? Well, that doesn't matter. What matters is that they caught him and arrested him. Now, tell us what we need to know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm crawling.

I don't have my crutches, a loaming man. Scrab it with me, ask you a question. This is a riddle for kids. No, I normally do riddles for kids, but I'm trying to quit those. Also, can you fasten me crutches really quick out of something? Yeah, I fasten you to the crutches. I'll just tie these crutches to you.

There you go. Thank you. Now, my crutches back much better. A lonely man lived in his house in a suburb of the city. He never left the house for long. It was a mid-summer Friday when the male men walked by and called out for the man. There was no answer.

The male man looked into the window and saw him in a pooled blood. When the policeman arrived, he found Tuesday's newspaper, two bottles of warm milk and one bottle of cold milk outside the door. The next day, the killer was arrested. How did the police find out who it was so quickly? Okay, and let's figure out what we know here.

Now, it was a mid-Summer Friday, which means that someone was so-dentoo a bear suit and burned a life in Sweden. What else do we know? Now, if there's a newspaper, that means that the newspaper, a boy or girl, a child, delivered the paper, but there's also that milk.

Now two bottles were warm. One was cold. The cold suggests that it's fresh that the milkman swung by. The newspaper's on a Tuesday. The police find him on a Friday. I have nipples, fucker. Can you milk man me?

Can you milk man me? Something a friend of mine might say, but he's not. I would consider him a friend. Now scraps, uh, wait, what? Now scraps, um, thank you for not calling me scrapes. You did that last time.

Sorry about that. Now, escraps, uh, is it the milk man? Why, why? Or is it the paper boy? Why? What do you mean why, scrapers? Yeah, you can't just say what it is. You have to give me the answer.

Why the reason? Well, because there's two warm bottles and one cold, the milkman must have looked in the window and seen it and still delivered the mail. Wait, hold on. What day of the week was it? Friday. The only milkman that mailed milkman's delivering is mailed milk. I think I know the answer.

Yeah. It was the paper boy, because the milkman continued to deliver assuming the man was still alive. Now, if it's a Friday and there's only Tuesday's newspaper, the paper boy didn't return to the scene of the crime and miss Wednesday and Thursday because he knew the man was dead. Well, yeah, you got it right, but in this scenario, the male man's delivering the newspaper. And what fucking suburb does the mailman deliver news papers? Well, we live in Riddle City, and this is what this universe is.

The mailman delivers papers. Wouldn't it be the paper boy, paper boy? All about that paper boy? Do the ditty again. Now, give me those crutches, yay. No, I'll give you, I need crutches. I need them. No, crutches are a crutch.

You know, that you need a school in Jesus. I need them for a joke I wrote later. Okay, well scrapes if you need a crutch, maybe start drinking. Okay. That'll be a crutch. You want a scribbles? You want to try the joke out on us? Yeah. No, no, no. Just give me some new crutches. You can make them out, you make them out of any. Yeah, fine. Here's two tubes from a used toilet paper.

And I'll just take these and throw them a hundred yards. Crutch down. All right, I really do need crutches for a bit that I'm doing later in this episode. Okay. Okay. Okay, here Fine. Here's a here's a couple more crutches for you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it I'm gonna take them in oh Often to the sunset excellent. I'd really do need crutches for something later. Okay. Here you go Here's your crutches, and I'll just take and throw them out of the ship crutch marries Got the crunch at this point These two grown men have their own several pairs of crutches far far away from this orifice Yes, and the ocean is more crutches than water at this point

But here I have this backup pair of crutches. All right off we go Let's go. Oh well, it was where we go You knew that no one in the house would read a newspaper and Wednesday or Thursday So he didn't deliver the newspaper. That's smart. He took it from himself. Always take a trophy from every kill. Remember that scrambles?

Always take a trophy from every kill. Okay. Don't pair it back to me. What about a participation trophy from every kill? You automatically get a position. Even if you don't kill them, what if? You Jin Z is these days one of your participation trophies from Get Do In Murders. I was born in 1938.

What is that being mean? Make you okay, Boomer. Yeah. Scraps in the man. Scraps in the man. Scraps in the men. Shuffle the long past. Scraps in the men. Scraps in the men. Scraps in the men, shuffle the long pass. Scraps in the men. Scraps in the men. Anything will do. Scraps in the men, shuffle the long pass,

the entendre, to a warehouse further down the docks. Scrapped, smooth, so slow, so by the time they arrived, night was really upon them, and the storm that was brewing in the air seemed to grow near. Now, scraps I have to warn you, this is a warehouse, which is a regular house that was bitten by a wolf. Boooo! You hear it now, that is a regular house that was bitten by a wolf. BOOM! You hear it now, that's a ghost. They slid the door open to see rows and rows of puns stacked as high as the ceiling. The sound of their five feet and two crutches echoed across the room.

That was a joke, that's all the crutches. Hold on, say that joke again then. The sound of their five feet and two crutches echoed across the room. Oh, worth it, worth it. The sound of their five feet and two crutches echoed across the room. Oh. Worth it. Worth it. I think so. Scraps gave a little nod with his cap and disappeared into the night. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I'll see you guys later. Bye Scraps. I'm going to try to collect all my crutches. Don't go on the ocean. You're not going to live there. I didn't hear what you said about the ocean. I'm going to go on the ocean. I whispered it in my own sleeve. The men walked through the shipment until they came apart a room filled with mirrors. Set up almost like a maze. Just then they heard the voice of the mayor.

Mayor Mia Scuba, who you two named in the second episode, so now we're stuck with him. Yes, and Mickey, now that we're in this room of mirrors, this seems like the perfect time to have some reflection. Yeah. Think about what we've come here to do. We walk a dangerous path and I've got a wife at home, Miss Vicki de Poop. She's got a young child and I do need to be, remember to be careful because I've got to live. I've got to live so I can take care of Miss Vicki.

And it's bad luck to break these mirrors but it's not bad luck to break this case. Wide open. Spaces, dixie chicks, George Bush. And now I'm looking at break in a mirror. I'm thinking that he's my high best friend. I don't want to hear Alien and Fime anymore. OK. Well, well, well, I thought you might find me here,

brick and Mickey. In a well? Who do we have here? Mayor Mia Scooba. They saw the mayor in front of them, or did they see her reflection in one of the mirrors? Huh, who was that? With the storm brewing outside of the echoey room,

it was hard to say. You know the rules, gentlemen, and I'm probably sure this is the first time you've heard this today, but before I answer any of your questions, you have to answer riddle, because that's the rule in riddle city. Yes, we know. In order for it to be on the main feet of the podcast.

Are we still in riddle city? We're in the city limits still? Yeah. Okay. We're still here. Are you ready for my riddle boys? Give it to us, ma'am, you schoolboy. Wait, who are your riddle boys?

That a gang of kids that you've trained to punch and kick us? Anyway, we've heard about this. We're the riddle boys. Yeah, down here, missed out with the and kick us. Hey, we've heard about that. We're the riddle boys. Yeah, down here, missed out with the riddle boys. Yeah, look down here, Miss Lowe even. And you gotta hear our song with the riddle boys. That's it.

Yeah, they're not great. All right, ready for this riddle? Perfect. A serial killer kidnapped people and made them take one of two pills. One was harmless and the other was poisonous. Whichever pill a victim took, the serial killer took the other one. The victim took their pill with water and died. The killer survived.

How did the killer always get the harmless pill? Now I know the answer to this question and the matter of the fact is that those pills were filled with eye-ocaine powder. Now, eye-ocaine powder has no taste of smell, but I've built up a tolerance over the last few years to it. Is that the answer? That's not the answer, you little butt hole. Now did the serial killer, who's giving these boys and pills, and then non-boys and pills,

happen to have six fingers on his left hand, because if that is true, then this is the serial killer that poisoned my father with a pill. My name is, well, my name's Mickey Rowe. I have a track of this man now prepared to die. Anybody want a peanut? It feels like that's a reference though.

Make a lot of something. Well, it's a reference to our life. Now, sorry, continue with it. Was it more to the riddle? As you wish. A participation. Really? We know, we know.

Now let me shove you down this hill. Hey. Hey. You know the rules gentlemen. Can you answer the riddle? You want to read it again? Nope, we quit. Let's, we quit. we don't know it.

I see you're like, so I'll go, well, go. Two pills, one is, now, can I ask, male, is it's a known fact that one of them did not have poison for a certainty? Not necessarily. Not necessarily, now, one had poison, one did not have poison.

It may be none, neither did. Maybe neither did. Yeah, so they would take the pill and then he would just like shoot him in the butt or whatever. Wait, I think I know the answer. What's the answer then? If you're so clever. I think you said that he made the person take the pill

with glass of water. Now, if I were a bettum man, I would bet that the water was poisoned. The killer doesn't take his pill with water, but the victim always does. That wouldn't make any sense. Now, if the ice was poisoned, then the victim would be able to pee it out real fast

if he drank the water. Well, that doesn't make like a dumb cashier. That makes no sense. That sort of feels like an episode three, called that. That's not what we're here for. Well, I mentioned that as a subtle dig. Yeah, wait, my first dead stop.

You think I forget? Seems like you got it. And also water was poison. And also episode three call back, what is that general grievous? Anyway. As he wished, am I still participating? That damn trade federation.

All right, fine. After I became mayor, it was clear that I would only make a fraction of what my father made. Doing the same job. Your father was mayor? No, that's not what it is, but it's best. Oh, please. I needed a way to support my children. I know buying drugs and selling them to an entire town for profit is not what a perfect mayor would do. Support your children, have you tried crutches?

That's a great way to lift up a child. Excuse me. I know bind drugs and selling them to an entire town for a profit is not what a perfect mayor would do. It was a perfect phone call. That's a good one. So I enlisted baby doll to help organize the shipments to keep my hands clean.

Madeline caught on to us right away. She is a far better detective than you and the new chief of police husband of hers Sure, I miss that. Yeah, why not we're bad at this Jesus smartest moment down an amazing at solving mysteries Not bad to look at either and she was never getting the credit That's what I love when people are talking about a smart woman and someone makes a mention of her looks Mm-hmm like a like a man is as

Maxed out never getting the credit. Madeline was just standing in the shadows of these men, cleaning up their messes. So she decided to join us. I thought that one time I met a real mess in some shadows. Now I thought that nobody was around and I had to take a poop something fierce, but what I wasn't counted on is the next day the sun would come out. And boy oh boy, I had shit in my little living room. Oh, thinking the poop was so mad at me, she took a broom to my head and she swept me out of the house Do your head anyways

Do you are you clear what's going on? Bout I would say marginally. I would say butterly so Madeline figured out what we were doing and she decided to join us She got the cops on her side too Then figured out what we were doing and decided to join us. She got the cops on her side too. Everything was fine until Marke saw me, baby doll, and Madeline down at the docks with puns. He was in so much financial trouble we knew he would sell that information off eventually so he had to be dealt with.

How about that? My villain speech got interrupted a gazillion times. I didn't get to do it clear. I practiced it in front of these very mirrors 13 times today. So scraps killed Markey. No. What do you mean no? No, clearly I'm, excuse me, I just told you.

Oh yes, I think I heard you. Baby doll, I, me and Madeline are selling puns. No. The entire town. Baby doll joined us, so we'd keep our hands clean, Marquis saw us, so he had to be dealt with. And Cocoa de Poops and Alien? Who the fuck is Cocoa de Poop?

Look, you're combining two names, sir. Look, if we're being 100% honest, we got pretty drunk all the way over here. Now, we thought we could handle our liquor, but we would drink it doubles. All right, well, I'm going to go over it again. Okay, no, just tell us straight. Who goes to jail? You are us. Wow, you are really far off. You know what? No one goes to jail.

No one goes to jail or hot damn. Let's all go get breakfast. The men heard everything they needed to know and tried to detain the mayor. They both ran face-first into mirrors. Oh no. Into mirrors? Into mirrors. Where are the mirrors now? The mirrors did the trick and the mayors seemed to escape, but not before yelling into

the echoey chamber of the room. It wouldn't matter even if you did catch me. We're untouchable. No, look at that baby carriage fall down that flight of stairs. He is untouchable. Boy, oh boy. Brick, we are in for it now. The mayor got away.

We got no trails, but we know who the culprits are. It's the mayor, baby doll, and your ex-wife, Madeline de Bark. Oh, it's broke. Broke my heart all over again. Shame to hear, my sweet Madeline, we're tainted. Tainted by the new chief of police Buc. Oh, it's broke. It broke my heart all over again. Shame to hear my sweet Madeleine painted. Tainted by the new chief of police, Mr. Drake Doily. Doyle. Drake Doyle.

It doesn't matter, he's a pawn. He's an absolute roob. And we got to con that roob and cross him. Cross the roob again. It occurred to Brick and Mickey that the fastest way to expose these three was to get the information to the newspaper for the next morning's paper. Usually the fastest way to expose my three is just unzip. Oh my god.

Fastest way to expose me is a straight line. They remembered something that Sibyl Sidney said to them. Remember Sibyl Sidney from the red all over? I do. She said, I'll post anything you find in the newspaper as long as you get it to me by midnight, the night before. Skillly do and skillly bop. Here I go, want to see me do a back flip into a front flip. And here I go,

and then there's a globe on my hand that I'm spinning it. It's a basketball, but it turns into a snow globe. I shake the snow globe, I hit it against my head. Snow comes out, it's not snow, it's my blood now. The blood is the snow globe, the head, no.

The blood is, my head is the snow globe. It's been a basketball, it's all the time. And here, and then what's cute about this is you put a top hat on it, draw little eyes on it, bring it to an island, it's cast away, but a basketball, okay? And it's your husband there, and you bring it around and you dance with it, and it deflates, and then you your husband there and you bring it around and you dance with it and it deflate and then you swim

to a different island and you Said me here we go not done yet, and here we go. We're going back and we're moving far going back And it's not too far here we go and ask me ask me a I'll name any number, name a number and I'll name it. You're just a quote. Okay, here we go. And here we go. Just, this is just a memory of some, a conversation we had once. Remember, I'll post anything you find I trust you to in the newspaper. If you get it to me by midnight before I live in the news place, I am the news. I sleep on newspapers. I lay down on them. Part of the

in gets on my face, okay? And then the next day the news is on the right side of my face because I sleep on the right side, who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who-who- What I'm saying gets me exactly before midnight, not 12.01, not 12.02, not 12.03, not 12.04. I need it to me by 11.59 and 59 seconds. I'll put in the newspaper for the next day. Do you see what I'm saying? And I'll give you orange juice. All the orange juice that you want, but it won't be orange juice, but it's made from orange juice. And that's what's interesting about that. Name a movie and I'll name the movie.

Four. Okay, four. I got four. I see four. And is your card the Jack of Spades? And I got four. I see four. Is your card the Jack-a-space? And I got it, and I got it. Do a little dance on the floor, and she's dancing on the floor, and she gets to a carpet, rolls herself up. She's a burrito now. She eats the burrito. She's the burrito. What to do now? Midnight to the night before I get into the paper. I'll post anything you want. It'll be headline

news. I'll be the front of the paper. All right. I'm just a memory. Here's the quote. I hope you remember the important part of this. Wait, brick, I have a memory. Civil Sydney, what did she say? She said, if we go see her, she'll give us orange juice. But it wouldn't be orange. It's just to be made from orange juice. I come back to your memory. Just a quick memory. I will post anything in the newspaper if you get it to me by 11.59 in the name before. And then I'll post anything you want in the newspaper because the people of Riddle City deserve to know that there have been push drugs by the powers that be. Mickey, you know what this means? Post anything in the newspaper that we get to about 1159.

We have to get there at 1159 and 59 seconds and say, uh, uh, fuck you, Grip Wilson. No, I mean, come on, Rick, that's stupid. If we get there at 1159 with 59 seconds, she won't have time to write, fuck you, come on, Rick, that's stupid. If we get there at 11.50 now with 59 seconds, she won't have time to write, fuck you, Grip Wilson. Okay. And then post it. So let's get there, 52 seconds. Yeah, 52 seconds should be enough.

It should be enough. Time for a couple of keys. Let's get to Cibal now. As Brick and Mickey walked to Cibal Sydney's office at the red all over to expose Madeline, the mayor, and babydoll. It started raining cats and dogs. They started across the old bridge and towns saw a very unwelcome color.

Red. There was Madeline de Mark standing between them and the truth, wearing her red coat, make up running down her face, pointing a gun in their direction. Don't shoot Madeline, we'll just hear that. Don't worry, she can't hit us both in the rain. Well, here's the rehash rundown summation of everything. But first, I know that I'm the first one

to say this to you today, but it's a riddle city. And you have to answer my riddle first. Yeah, you don't know this. I'm telling you this for the first time. Sure, then occupants of Riddle City are whole lives. And we have to say it to people too, if they come and seek your information from us. This is basically a different version

of a riddle you already heard heard so you should get it fast. One son of winter day, John F.H. Should get it fast, reminds me of the time that I… Don't strain yourself, Mickey. One son of winter day, John found his friend dead in his own house. John called the police and said that he was just passing by Jack's house and decided to come in. He'd been knocking and ringing the bell for a long time, but always silent.

However, he could see the light in the room through the frozen window. He breathed on the ice, windows glass, and saw Jack on the floor. The police arrested John as the main suspect. Why? Hmm, Jack Frost, is that something? That's nothing. Okay, man, well, we're going to solve your riddle here, but I just have to say that when it rains it pours, pour me, it broke my heart. I can't believe that you're doing this.

Can't believe you're doing that cat, that kitty, uh, chief of police guy. That's a cat. Do you know what I mean? You're, you're married to and fucking every night. A kitty cat. Yeah, he's a dumb cat, but he does whatever I say. Answer the riddle. Man, this is not a dog like you, Brick.

Well, rough, rough. Now, let's see here. Let me be a good boy and solve this riddle. Now, Mickey, this is the important part. However, he can see the light in the room through a frozen window. He breathes on the ice window through... He breathes on the ice window glass and saw Jack on the floor. Now, if a window is frozen over, would that be

condensation on the inside or the outside? Because I don't know if he could breath on the glass and wipe it clean or be able to see anything. Now that the frost was coming from the inside of the house, the phone calls coming from the inside of the house. Fine, you got it. John will be able to unfreeze the window glass because it's usually icy on the inside.

Oh, and of course, John was the son of Nick, right? So this is Frost versus Nixon. Nick's son, sorry. There it is. Just be quiet while I do my speech. That'll be difficult for us. I know. I knew Markey was going to have a hard time keeping his mouth shut. And he was my brother after all, so I wanted to keep him safe. So we had to set Coco Cash near up for his murder so he could go into hiding. I would give you the perfect exposition and you would solve the exact mystery I wanted you to solve. That would be a clean ending to this, but you just had to go and see him on that stupid train. You never could mine to business, could you, bro-

Don't blame the train. I had to let baby dole kill my own brother to keep the secret. I had the mayor, the mob, and the police wrapped around my finger. And I had money to spare. I was saving up money to give the hell out of this city and stop being married to a cat. I'm sorry. Brick and Mickey, but this secret dies with you. Just as Madeline went to shoot, a shadowy figure appeared behind her.

Well, well, well. Well. You think you can frame me for murder? You think you can frame me for murder? You can kill the camp. You think you can frame me for murder? And kill the tampon thief and the professional boxer who holds the boxes and the chairs and get away with it?

You have another thing coming. Nope. and killed the tampon thief and the professional boxer who holds the box as amateurs and get away with it! You have another thing coming! No, she doesn't come out with me! No boys and you're welcome! Remember me, I'm Coco Cash Me! We know where we can pick it to, yes. You have a voice that could unlock a door. What does that mean?

It means it's in a different key. I'm saving you. I'm saving you life and you're gonna call me, Shrew. Well, are you a hulu show star, Gady Bryant? Because if it's you. I wish. All right. Coco blows out her jewel knife and the women struggle through control. Coco stabs Madeline in the stomach and says, by the way, I love your coat. Speaking of Coco, I like a coke with that side of vocal fries. How dare you talk about a woman's voice! I'm being upset about vocal fries, sexes! Listen, it's not about you being a woman, it's about you being shrill and having vocal fry and being a woman. The woman fall off the bridge into the darkness of the water.

Being swept away as the sky continued to rain cats and dogs. Don't worry, she'll grab onto one of those many crutches. Thank God we thought somebody floating flots of crushes into the ocean. Coco, I never thought I'd say this before, but I'm happy to see you. I'm, I fell in. They both fell in. I fell into the river.

I know. I know. I was trying to talk to a low enough tone you wouldn't hear me in reply. Here I go. Here I go. A cocoa as you leave, sing us a song. Here I go down the river I go. Here sing a song. A cocoa as you leave. Sing us a song. Here I go down the river I go.

Here's a microphone. She thinks the ocean's a river. A microphone in it. I'm singing real loud and I'm here and I just killed a woman with tonight's fandoms. I didn't have to be a murderer, but I did not think it needed it. Oh, she's getting close to the microphone.

No! She's cuckoo for Coco. The best-than-chef of police could tell, Madeline DeMarc died in the water, and Coco Cashmere floated for a while and was saved by several ducks. The ducks thought she was a duck. Riddle City hopes she turns up so they can give her

a hero's homecoming. My pancake breakfast. I'm not hungry right now because boy oh boy my ex is dead at the docks. What a shame. What a shame to see her bleed out from that. Not jeweled knife. And now the gut wound matches the grapes. Her coat. Red a blood and her pubes didn't know that Can't forget it. We should have Well, I still answered now. Oh boy. Didn't ask brick pace his office alone Wondering why he felt so anxious Maybe it was that the only person he ever truly loved was a murderer and was dead herself

He reached into his pocket and was that is that what it is? The locket that Coco gave him while she was in jail from the second episode. Wait, how did she get out of jail? Never mind that. The Chief Police is a cat and the details of this kind of I know I think she got third place in a beauty contest. That got out of jail. And now she lives on. It could be the voice thing with a key that we said earlier. That's how she got out of jail. He opened the locket to see It could be the voice thing with a key that we said earlier. Oh, yeah. There you go. Sure. That's how she got out of jail.

He opened the locket to see two pictures of cocoa blowing kisses, but there was a little note while you're up behind the photo. Blowing kisses to each other. Yeah. That's that shit it's a. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Opening the locket to see two pictures of the same woman blowing kisses to each other. And when it's closed, they're kissing.

That's the kind of self-confidence I'm trying to go into 2020 with. I get you a girl that gets you a locket with two pictures of her kissing herself. Someone make that for me. From 1937 to 2020. But there was a little note wadded up behind the photo. He unwrapped it and it said, damn brick, parentheses, tampon thief! Parentheses!'

That's written in all caps." Ha ha ha! I recently learned that your beloved friend and partner, Mickey Rork, was sent to spy on you for money and make sure you never get too close to the truth. Don't trust him. Trust no one, in fact. Except me, obviously.

Hugs and kisses to the tampon thief, love Coco. Well, son of a bitch, my best friend has done me dirty. It's like Tim Hardaway, and he double crossed me. Oh, sorry, it's like Jesus, and he double crossed me. Wait, what's a good one here? Double cross, what has double two crosses? It's like, it's like two streets intersecting. There's a double cross.

He walked to his desk and pulled out a small box. He opened it and put a line of puns. The drug he had been addicted to for many years onto the table and took it. As he stood there, he saw a shadow appear at his door. A client bringing a new mystery for Brick's Stoneheart to solve. He is way more alone and has nothing to lose, as he braced himself for another night in Reddle City. And you can end this on a pun. I don't feel like it. Oh boy, Brick, wish you had gained 2,000 pounds and fall on yourself,

because this is hitting you like a ton of brick. Now for some more cocaine! And end of the Riddle City story. Oh man, what a sad ending. So Aaron, holy shit, that was amazing. Did you guys have fun? That was a blast. Okay, I'm so glad.

And I'm glad that Mickey Rourke was behind it the whole time. Yeah, what a twist. And there's no closure with that. No. So Brick just does drugs until he's... Well, we also, we didn't know that the whole time that he was another just another person in the city. That's probably why he's not a cop anymore, it's because he got addicted to puns.

And everyone's addicted to puns in that city. Wow, wow, wow. Aaron. A messy city. And Aaron, Riddell City is... You should Detroit? It's Detroit. Aaron, they've had it rough for a long time.

Give it a break, Riddell Rock City. Yeah, so that was the three-part series. Thank you for everyone who listened to it. I know that this wasn't like an everybody thing, but the people like it. I know it wasn't everyone's favorite. I know a lot of people didn't like it. I know.

Aaron? I hate lifting you up. This is a goddamn masterpiece. I'm really glad that you two had fun. That's sort of the point, and then I got to do the Coco voice one last time. If anybody wants to email us or message me on Instagram for like an idea for another story arc in a different genre or universe, I had a lot of fun writing these. So if you have an idea for one that you'd like to see, please message me, but I think we're going

to put Riddle City to bed, at least for a year or two. Yeah. Well, I hope we revisit it soon. I also have, Well, she just said a year or two. Yeah. Gase. But I'll do another one. I'll do another one.

I have a couple ideas. I have one that I'm running, a little arc. Let's make sure it's not the same, John. It's a one off. Oh. No, a minus two. Yeah. It's written. No, no, no, no, it's a minus three. Oh. No, mine is two. Yeah, it's written. No, no, no, no, it's mine's great.

Anything to plooog? What do I want to do? I'll give a little doctor recommendations. There's a TV show called The Other Two. It's on Comedy Central and you should watch it. It's fantastic. Aaron, this seems like it would be your favorite show. I really, really like it.

No, I watched the first season. So, I love Molly Shannon and absolutely anything. Yeah, Andrew Tarver, so fucking funny. So I'd recommend the other two, check that out. And then also, I'm reading a book called X-Holation by Ted Zheng. I want to say, I'm about a third of the way into it. It's a book of short stories, mostly sort of like black mirror-ish, kind of sci-fi, and they are fucking fantastic.

So check out X-Holation by Ted Jing. I've been liking medical police on Netflix. It's also made me want to go re-watch Children's Hospital, which was a great series that I really enjoyed. So check out medical police. I think it's standalone. I don't think you have to watch Children's Hospital to really get into it. Just finished succession. It's the best. It's so good.

Everything everyone said it was. Aaron, would you say that you can't make a Tomlot without breaking some grigs? Oh my God, the best. I also, I'm watching Love Island. If anyone wants to tell me what their favorite season of that. Those are the bookings of TV. I know, and I just am trying to balance out my spirit in my life and my love and my joy. And also follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. I'm going to be posting some fun stuff over there soon. Yeah. Um, really, I, the people who are so supportive of Riddle City were like so supportive and nice to me and reached out and just said the kindest thing. So

thank you so much if you're one of those people. I really appreciate the fans of the show. You guys make me feel really good. Just to clear it up. So because people have been asking, Riddle City did not actually take place on our Earth. It took place on a version of our Earth on the planet. Jupiter. Five rivers? Hey, you.

Hi, forever. I created this. I have a room. Five. Sorry, Eric Keaton. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Toney to the editing. I'm already parodied to the middle of the day. I'm a single,000 pounds and follow myself because this is hitting me

like a ton of brick. Brick you should have made like Joseph Gordon, and levied alone. Got that one out. I like that one. That one's the best. Um, what else? All right, any more? You should have been folds five because I'm a brick and I'm falling slowly.

That song is about a bush.