Hey Riddle Riddle - #86: Hey Nintendo Cafe!

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast. I love you, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, my baby, baby, baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, my baby, my baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- Hey, it's Hey, what do I remind you of? I'm Adelaide. I'm GPC. And I'm Aaron Keith. What if we just did a whole podcast and all we did was meow and occasionally study each other's dates? I think. No one would listen. Five percent people would say it's their favorite episode ever. The other 95 would stop listening. How long would it take people to stop listening? Would they stop right away?

Starting point is 00:01:18 No, no. It would be one of those things where at first it's funny. Then it gets annoying. Then it gets sad. Then it gets funny again. Then it gets real sad. annoying, then it gets sad, then it gets funny again, then it gets real sad, then it gets pissed, then it gets funny, and then they stop listening to it. If it was a podcast that I was listening to, I would maybe give it 15 minutes of that. I was in a double speed though, so that's seven minutes of my time.

Starting point is 00:01:41 So half of 15 and seven? I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to fall into that trap. I don't know how to do the numbers part. Speaking of Captain Budget, you budgeted for yourself to go on a vacation recently. Yeah, I just got back from a little name I like to call Mexico. I feel like everyone calls it that. Great. It's not like a name you made up for it. I call it lower Michigan.

Starting point is 00:01:58 Yeah, it's South Florida. But it was great. It was very fun, it was very relaxing. Where'd you stay? I was in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the it. I call it lower Michigan. Yeah, it's South Florida. But it was great. It was very fun, it was very relaxing. Where'd you stay?

Starting point is 00:02:10 I stayed in Akumal, which is Riviera Magroba. Agroba? Agro-Crag, I stayed on the Agro-Crag. Did you get a piece of the rock? I did, I got a piece of the rock. Did you meet the rock? I got a piece of it. I got some of the until you sur.

Starting point is 00:02:23 No, it was great. I've never done an All Expense paid thing where you just pay a lump sum and then it's like everything is included and provided and you're just on a resort. I will say that. Can I say something? I think All Expenses paid is what they gave you

Starting point is 00:02:38 on a game show. I think what you got was an all-inclusive plan. All-inclusive. All-inclusive. Yeah, All Expenses paid. I was like, I would wait for it. What you paid for it? Yeah. I had an All Expinclusive. All-inclusive. Yeah, all-inclusive. I was like, I would wait for you to pay for it. Yeah. I had an all-expenses trip.

Starting point is 00:02:46 Who paid for it? I did. It was all-inclusive. So, you know, you pay and then that's it. But. It was my life was all-expenses paid. I don't. I don't drink and I don't eat meat.

Starting point is 00:02:55 So I think a lot of the all-inclusive was like lost on someone like me. They were like, what are you even here? Like, what are you doing here? But it's fine. It's great. So you paid $80 a meal and you're eating chips? I was really impressed that they actually had vegetarian stuff too, because it wasn't,

Starting point is 00:03:10 well, I, I, one thing that I think is very funny is all of their menus were marked like vegan, gluten free or vegetarian with little markers on them, but the markers meant nothing. They were just on, there was one item that was marked as vegan, it was like Gorgonzola cheese, and I was like, that's, that's not vegan. There was one vegan item that was like shrimp lobster, it was like Gorgon's Olatgees. I was like, that's not vegan. There was one vegan item that was like shrimp lobster. I was like, what do you think vegan is? There's a new place that open over by Gemini, and it's like a grill or diner.

Starting point is 00:03:34 There's a vegan, there's a vegetarian menu, and one of the items on the vegetarian menu is chicken. Yeah. And Gemma's like, is this like fake chicken? They're like, no, it's chicken. They're like, why is it not a vegetarian? They're like, because it it's chicken. They're like, why is it not a bit different? And they're like, cause it's not meat. You kidding?

Starting point is 00:03:46 Oh, that's my joke is that I'm a vegetarian. I eat chicken shrimp beef and fish. And speaking of eating meat, Aaron, you just bought a dog. I'm not to eat. What? Well, we'll see. Yeah, you grow the dog in the due budget. Yeah, I got a dog this week. That's awesome. It is so ridiculous.

Starting point is 00:04:07 So cute. You got I cannot wait for you. She's so cute. I Yeah, her name is Lou. Her name is Lou. Her name is Louise. I'm a we call her Lou. We're mostly Lou. She's the best we got her from the anti cruelty society and she's there the best. We got her from the anti-cruelty society. And she's really sweet. They're the best. Yeah. The cruelty society awful. And also the anti-cruelty society. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:33 Thumbs up. Well, this is a crazy story about how I got my dog. This is the story of a dog. I, what? I've been looking at their website and all the like, pause. Everything in Chicago's website, like every day, because Sean and I have been talking about their website and all the like pause, everything in Chicago's website, like every day, because Sean and I've been talking about

Starting point is 00:04:48 getting a dog for a couple months. And last Sunday, I was on anti-cruelty website, and this dog was new, popped up, and said it was they got there yesterday. Or like they, she was in the system yesterday, and I sent Sean a picture, and then I put my snow boots on, and I just started walking,

Starting point is 00:05:03 and I was like, why am I doing this? Why am I, this dog is like, not the kind of dog I was like looking for, and then I was walking through the snow. Sean called me and was like, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but we should go meet that dog, and I was like, I'm a block away.

Starting point is 00:05:16 Oh wow. But this is where it gets crazy, you guys. I walk in, she's walking out. She had just been adopted. No, by Sean. No, by this woman who had a bad energy. And she's like taking the dog for a walk and she had just done her like hour long interview,

Starting point is 00:05:33 been approved and they were just waiting to hear back from her landlord. They called her landlord and be like, hey, just like we got a double check. Yeah. And so. Sounds like Baba Yacht. I came in and sat down.

Starting point is 00:05:43 Sounds about please. And most handsome man who works at the anti-cruelty society, you have a beard, you know who you are. So handsome. Okay. Let's guess his name, Blake. I don't remember his name. Trent.

Starting point is 00:05:53 But he was like being sweet to me and was like, do you want to walk this other dog? And like gave me information, like told me everything. And I waited for Sean. And I was like, I don't even care about everything. Stupid. I'm the dog. And I tried talking to that woman. I was like, oh, congratulations. You just stepped up the dog and she had this

Starting point is 00:06:08 like, don't look at her attitude. She's like, yeah, I adopted her. So she blew a cigarette in the air and said, yeah, it was so rude. And then I killed her. Sean and I were like getting ready to leave and then the guy came running out and was like, her landlord said, no, probably because she was

Starting point is 00:06:22 had a terrible energy. And then we were hanging out with her and walking around with her. And I was like, this is said no, probably because she was, had a terrible energy. And then we were hanging out with her, and walking around with her. And I was like, this is my job. The woman was terrible energy. They called ComEd and she had terrible energy. Yeah. Yeah. And Sean.

Starting point is 00:06:32 ComEd and she's a provider of energy. And I were just, now Chicago people. Oh yeah, I heard that. That's Chicago. To worship battles joke, commonwealth Edison isn't, isn't across the US? Really? Not in the Commonwealth.

Starting point is 00:06:44 That's insane. Just Midwest, you're just don't know it. I think it's just Not in the Commonwealth. That's insane. Just Midwest who just Illinois. I think it's just Illinois. That's insane. We didn't have Comed in Indiana. Oh, that's why when I say Comed, you have to pay my Comed bill when we go to different states. I have no idea how I'm going.

Starting point is 00:06:54 So people outside of Illinois don't know who Thomas Edison is. Mm-hmm. Wow. No, they're Tesla people. Anyways, that made us want her. If we had gone in and she was available, we probably would have been like, we are not ready to.

Starting point is 00:07:06 You only want what you can't dog. You only want what you can't dog and now she's ours and she has separation anxiety. You can't always get what you don't. Oh, but this is just me saying, if anyone has any recommendations for doggy, daycare. Sparkette had a pretty bored separation separation, exorbity. I'm Hevika Stroke.

Starting point is 00:07:27 But it's treatable. There's a lot that you can do to help dogs get over their separation anxiety. We're gonna get her a vest. Oh yeah. Not like an anxiety vest, but like an aloe bean puffer vest. Sure.

Starting point is 00:07:38 Just so she looks like kind of cool. Like a Lulu lemon pants or something. But I'm sure I'll talk about her. Her name is Lou and she's perfect and we love her. We need to have a hangout with spaghetti, brisket fries and, Lou. They're a family now.

Starting point is 00:07:51 Yeah. They're gonna inherit this podcast when we die. They should do this podcast. If you two put saddles on your dogs, then brisket and fries can ride your dogs. Nothing else matters. It is only this. I don't, I can't. I can't see.

Starting point is 00:08:08 I can't see a saddle on spaghetti. I cannot see a creature riding it. It's not a gopher or a hamster. I'm sorry. Those are the only two creatures that I can even see riding. Oh, you guys. I can't describe how joyous it was to have Aaron be so sincere and just go nothing else matters. Someone better draw that if I don't get to see it in real life, but I have hope we get to see it in real life. What are we doing today, Adolf?

Starting point is 00:08:32 Aaron, we're doing something special today. This is going to be somewhat similar. If you're one of our Patreon subscribers, you might recognize this format. This is what I've done before with Aaron and JPC, where they play the Disney twins. I call these fun shots. It's just sort of a one-off, fun adventure. I like the Patreon where we sort of run it like a D&D with dice that they roll.

Starting point is 00:08:52 This is going to involve no dice and it's going to involve... No dice, so... No, I guess I leave the no way. Topical. Did you say Reddles? It's going to involve Reddles, so... Are we talking about those?

Starting point is 00:09:04 I've riddled this just to make sure it does qualify for one of our episodes. Just to be clear, I do leave, right? You do the what me here. Andrew? Andrew? Yes, please leave. Andrew. Mr. Diceman? Okay, goodbye. Little Miss Tuffick. He got on a dog and rode up. Yeah, that was my dog chance. McGatty, oh no. He's not a gerbil. So Aaron, what we're doing, this is something I've wanted to do since episode nine. I thought to do it now as a thank you for all the love and hard work and blood sweat and tears that you put into Hey Riddle City.

Starting point is 00:09:35 I thought this would be just a special celebration of Aaron. So J.P.C. you'll be sitting in the sounds. Thank you for no amount of blood I put into Riddle City. I left with Andrew Dice on his dog. No, on your dog. So what we're going to be doing, this is going to be called, hey, Nintendo Cafe. Aaron, this is inspired by your story

Starting point is 00:09:52 of when you were kid, you and Molly playing Nintendo, or more like Molly playing and you not. Do you mind setting the table a little bit, just to remind anyone who hasn't listened to the episode, or it's been a year since you told the story. Yes. Just a brief synopsis of what Nintendo Cafe is to you. So Nintendo Cafe is a perfect example of what it means to be the youngest sibling in

Starting point is 00:10:13 a family. So my two older sisters, specifically Molly, would play Nintendo, Super Nintendo or Nintendo 64. And I would really want to be involved. So to trick me, she invented Nintendo Cafe, which is I had this cafe, which was just her kitchen, and I would put a little towel over my arm and then have a note pad, and I would take her order

Starting point is 00:10:34 for what snack she would want. And I would go and make beautiful spreads. Just kid charcuterie. You want charcuterie? Lunch rolls. Yeah, lunch rolls. Like, but I was like, cheese, it's a nachos, and like, go goods, and all these things, you're gonna Like, but I was like, cheese it to nachos and like, go goods and all these things that are played.

Starting point is 00:10:47 Yeah, sure. And I would come in and be like, I'm late. Can you check your career? It was my rap name, but. You had to pre-sum, man. And I would bring her her food. And then I got to sit quietly and watch her

Starting point is 00:10:56 and then like tell her what a good job she was doing. And then clean up, too, because it was my little cafe. Yeah, that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. It's terrible. It is a precursor to like video game cafes to a certain degree, but boy, oh, boy, is it sad. Sad every time I hear it. So I've watched more video games than I've played them,

Starting point is 00:11:15 but everyone's in a while if I'm playing Mario Kart against some guys I barely know, I do okay. I get a really thirsty for gogert. When is the last time you played N64? Oh, maybe a two years ago. Okay. Yeah. You don't 64? Do you own one or anything?

Starting point is 00:11:32 Yeah, my childhood home still has one, and I think I definitely played Super Nintendo recently when I was home. I played like Yoshi World, and then I played Banjo Tui. Yeah, you mentioned Banjo and Kazooie. I had never heard of that or played that. I looked it up. It is like often called a masterpiece. It's my favorite.

Starting point is 00:11:52 What I saw here is that it says Banjo and Kazooie. It's a bear in a bird looking to stop the plans of the witch Gruntilda, who intends to steal the beauty of Banjo's younger sister, Tudy, for herself. It's heaven on earth, which is fucking bonkers. Banjo, Kazooie is very, very good. Banjo, Tuti, is the best video game of all time.

Starting point is 00:12:11 I've yet to watch or play a video game. I know that technology now is incredible, and they're all just like me, but there's no more fun. You can have this in humans. I'm sure that there are plenty of people that would stand Banjo, Tuti. I think that that is something you will find. I'm summoning my banjo to eat army stand behind me show yourself

Starting point is 00:12:29 Well, let's get into it. This is Hay Nintendo cafe Aaron. This is for you and for redemption for your childhood And as a celebration of you for hey riddle city. Not really so Arnie want you grab Your microphone and eight bit guitar and lay down that fat track. So here's the setup Aaron what's going on as you fall asleep you are Aaron today way ahead yeah I'm saying you fall asleep wake up please so Aaron you fall asleep And you are in your dreams When you wake up in your dream you are waking up from a nap on your couch in Hingham you are a child how old were you during Nintendo Cafe days?

Starting point is 00:13:46 Probably 10 or so. 8, 8, 9, 10. Great. So you were 8, 9, 10. You were 8,910 years old. Wow, Aaron, you fucked up when you said that stupid thing. God, I'm. What a celebration of Aaron.

Starting point is 00:13:56 I don't know how JPC was supposed to leave. Oh, no, I'm not here. This is Andrew Diceclay. So Aaron, you are 10 years old. You look around in your Hingham home and there's no Nintendo 64 because of course your sister Molly keeps it in a room under lock and key. However, in the living room that you're in in your Hingham home, you see the soft glow

Starting point is 00:14:13 of the TV illuminating the room. You're not sure how long it's been on or who turned it on, but on the TV there's a commercial playing for a new heart medication. The heart medication is called Cardiobrus. You see in the add there's's a 50-year-old woman on a tire swing and slow motion laughing. Then there's another 50-year-old woman on the beach in Capri's, looking out at the waves

Starting point is 00:14:32 as content as she's ever been. Is Adel just described me as sexual privacy? Now? Shh. Shh. Damn it. Damn it, you need silence. Shh.

Starting point is 00:14:42 Now there's another 50-year-old woman, a third 50-year-old woman. She's at a nightthrow blow, a third 50 year old woman. She's at a nightclub. They're all blowy-goody to the lips. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. There's a third 50 year old woman at a nightclub dancing with glowsticks and crying. And now a fourth 50 year old woman running through the forest and she trips and breaks her nose and she's laughing. Across the bottom of the screen, the side effects for cardio bros scrolls by until it says

Starting point is 00:15:07 9 out of 10 doctors recommend cardio bros for patients under 65. The screen freezes on that exact sentence. 9 out of 10 doctors recommend cardio bros for patients under 65. The television flickers, some of the words and letters in that sentence flicker in and out until it stops and all that's left is the words 9, 10, the Dio and doctor and the age 65. So it says 9, 10, do 65. As you read those words out loud, a gaming system appears next to the TV that looks like

Starting point is 00:15:47 two shoe boxes full of Apple sauce. It's clearly some sort of janky knockoff Nintendo system. So it's not an actual Nintendo 64, it's a 910-DU. You didn't give us a second to applaud two shoe boxes full of Apple sauce. It's a 910-DU 65. 910-DU 65. 910-DU 65. $9.10, 65. $9.10, 65. $9.10, 65, you guys. $9.10, 65, you guys.

Starting point is 00:16:07 So sort of a knockoff Nintendo, we can only assume that this company isn't litigious. A controller sprouts out of the system and lays at your 10 year old feet. You see a home screen, so it's... If your hand's not your old eyes, it's 10 year old. No!

Starting point is 00:16:23 And a thousand year old brain. You see a home screen on a TV suddenly appear right now it only has two options. It says one player or two player. Nine-tendo. Aparasos. Two player. Great. So you select two player on the controller as you do a second controller, snakes out of

Starting point is 00:16:40 the nine-tendo lands next to you on the couch. And suddenly a young 15-year-old from Indiana springs onto the couch. It is JPC and is younger form. JPC picks up the controller, as he does, you're both zapped into the game. You still have your controllers with you. You're both kind of turned into, I don't know, 65 bits, is that one? Yeah, wait, wait, wait for this.

Starting point is 00:17:13 And on the screen inside the game that you're in, you see that there is a spot for three initials for each of you. You should probably go with JPC. Oh, no, I'm 15. I wouldn't actually be JPC, yes. I'm going to go with Ask. So JPC is Ask. Oh, he took Ask. I'm not feeling swear right now.

Starting point is 00:17:32 Oh, I can teach you some other swear. Oh, no. OK, let's see. OK, let's see. What's a dirty thing I can say in three letters? Poo, damn. Come. Come.

Starting point is 00:17:41 No. I want to be. I want to be fuck but FUK. That's great because it'll get through all the profanity filters. Great, so AscentFuck have entered the game. You're still to home screen. We high five.

Starting point is 00:17:53 We high five. You're still to home screen. You still have your controllers before we move into the game with your controllers at the home screen. Is there anything you wanna do? Any buttons you wanna press? Anything at all? Okay. By the way, the home screen. press anything at all. Okay.

Starting point is 00:18:05 Either way, the home screen. You're at the home screen. Is there anything you want to do? What do our controllers look like? Your controllers look like N64 controllers, but there's five extra buttons. Okay. Is there anything that says like demo or like a little story you watch? Nothing, nothing like that.

Starting point is 00:18:23 I guess what I'm looking for is there any secret codes? Yeah, I think I'm gonna do Ford Ford, back, back, AABB. Great, so all of a sudden, you see that your life counter goes to infinity. It's sort of in eight sideways. Nice guy, you do have infinity lives. And suddenly a genie pops up.

Starting point is 00:18:43 This is a game genie and says to you welcome to the 9 10 to 65 I am the game genie Please I will give you 10 seconds each to choose your appearance. What would you like to look like in this game? Anything goes like Sutton Foster sets I would like to look like Sutton Foster, please. Three. Great. And you look like Sutton Foster.

Starting point is 00:19:10 Me now, longer hair, huge pecs, oily, not sweaty, oily. And like John Rambo, but you know, tight off bandana. And. That's 10 seconds. OK. And you look exactly like Michael bandana. And... That's 10 seconds. Okay. And you look exactly like Michael Madson. Oh, man. Blue it.

Starting point is 00:19:30 Well, it's a 65 bit. The game Jeannie fades away, and suddenly you are in a totally black screen. There's a block that appears above you. It's sort of a yellowish block, and has a question mark on it. It's about two, I'd say maybe two feet above your head, maybe a foot and a half above your head, definitely within reach.

Starting point is 00:19:50 Oh, okay. Well, from what I know about video games, I'm, I'm John, by the way. Well, I thought you weren't John yet. I'll call you ask. Call me ask and I should call you fuck. Can you call me Aaron? Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. Hey Aaron. Um, how old do you? 910 810 I'm 15 which doesn't make any fucking sense

Starting point is 00:20:14 You have an interesting vibe that we never work together. Oh, I would call it working as you small talk The block starts to slowly fade Great Aaron you die. What the fuck, Adam? You haven't finished your life, so you immediately repopulate, but you absolutely felt that pain. Well, that sucks. Damn, it's a question mark block,

Starting point is 00:20:37 and you try to hit it with your head. I'd jump up and slap it with my hand. Great, as soon as you slap it with your hand, the block goes blank, and a sheet of paper comes from the top of the block and starts to fall slowly to your feet. Paper, I don't wanna do homework. I'll do it.

Starting point is 00:20:51 It absorbs into the floor and you hear a voice, say, a riddle out loud. This four-letter word suggests family. Take off the first letter and a flower you'll see. Okay, fuck is a four-letter word and you have to fuck to create a family. What's your deal? It repeats itself. Pretty much this.

Starting point is 00:21:12 This four-letter word suggests family. Take off the first letter and a flower you'll see. Okay, okay. A letter word that suggests family. What a flower you'll see is a three-letter word. What's like a, like, not like gang or community or tribe or Family flower be like bud Bud wise or that's appropriate for this time period, right? That's the beard commercial family family Dom Toretto

Starting point is 00:21:42 Let's see you. I'm 15 Would fast and the furious be out? IDK my BFF Jill. Bob, we had a baby eat some, boy. I'll call now. I'll call now. Okay, okay, okay. Um, are you any good at retdles? No.

Starting point is 00:21:59 Me neither. I think that they're stupid. I hope this is the last time I ever have to do them. Amen to that sister. Okay, um, okay. Okay, okay. And you start to, the two of you start to think of flowers, popular flowers to sort of work backwards perhaps. Okay, rose, tulip.

Starting point is 00:22:13 But it has to be three letters. And as you say, rose, you feel like a tingling sensation like you're on the right path. Oh. Rose bud, rose bud, sled, citizen cane. Take off the first letter in a flower you'll see. So you have to add one letter to Rose to make a four letter word that suggests family.

Starting point is 00:22:31 Brows. Ding, ding, ding. As soon as you say bros, all of a sudden a heart, an actual human heart in overalls, comes running towards... Yeah, I kick it, I fucking kick it. I don't want it. Take it as far as I can and he he hears the uh discuss and then gets kicked

Starting point is 00:22:55 He flies ass call me ass he flies across the screen But he only goes so far because the screen it's 2d and the screen is cut off So he hits the side where the TV sort of stops and bounces back towards you. What is it? What is it? A roll? What is this? A rocket roll?

Starting point is 00:23:11 We need the movie, a rocket roll. And this human heart-waring overall gets to his feet and goes, hello! It's me! Superb Cardio! Don't boy. Pause for applause. Everyone's clapping for Adela and their car. Where is the mouth on you, superb cardio?

Starting point is 00:23:25 It's inside the Uber. I don't wanna know. I'm not looking at it there. I've not followed for that again. And a Rumba comes by and he jumps on the Rumba and kills it. What the fuck is that? I killed the Rumba. And he says his catchphrase, which is,

Starting point is 00:23:41 you really have a lot. Yeah, no, no, no. This is go, it's me, a Super Cardio. It's me, a lot to say. Yeah, no, no, no. If you go, it's me, a super cardio. It's me, a super cardio. I'm one of the cardio brothers. My name is cardio cardio. Yeah, canonically. What's your brother's name?

Starting point is 00:23:55 My name is cardio cardio. And my brother is Luayjai. Do you have, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, do you have a, I'll be your guide. A super cardio. What are we doing in here? How do we get here? I just didn't want to need to get back to central Indiana. Why? You're in a rush. What are you?

Starting point is 00:24:30 I'm a boombada bing. I'm a mean tenor old. You're a boombada bing. Are you from Boston? And as you say, boombada bing, a very Italian looking heart comes in with green overalls and goes, it's me. Luai, Jay. Oh.

Starting point is 00:24:43 That's filthy. Vagina, cardio. Look, Iai-jai. Oh! That's filthy. Vajaina, Karya. Look, I have to get back, I have to get back to bullying people in band. Great. Now this episode's called Vajaina Karya. Oh, it's not. Oh, it's not. And running behind Luai-jai is a brown bag or sack with legs.

Starting point is 00:25:03 At the top of the sack, there's a baguette sticking out. You can also make it a few apples. And in the middle front of the bag, there's what looks like a tear or a rip and suddenly a long tongue shoots out of him. And you hear a voice say, Groceries. Groceries. Oh no.

Starting point is 00:25:21 Groceries. Groceries. And the Elijah goes, Oh no. Fresh trees. What's that? Fresh trees. And the widejage goes, uh, uh. Oh, this is my, this is my friend that and pets a groceries. You accidentally did something where every couple that listens to the show, they're going to come home and that's how they're going to say, like,

Starting point is 00:25:40 frat home groceries. Fresh trees. And the widejage explains that Yoshi's their friends. Yoshi. Groceries. That Groceries is their friend. And that Groceries is super helpful because you can pick up Groceries and carry it around.

Starting point is 00:25:54 Oh, you can't. And that's helpful for her. You can't ride Groceries? No, no, no, no. It would immediately crumble. Sure. So you have to pick it up and it's like, it's probably 40 pounds or so.

Starting point is 00:26:02 It seems like a lot of this is geared towards not getting sued. Am I wrong? Uh, Lwajj. Oh, I don't want to get sued. But, yeah. Thank you. It's me, kind of. It's ass.

Starting point is 00:26:12 Oh, me. No, that's the jacket. Fuck, you're ass. Fuck. Please don't get those confused. Ass fuck. Ass fuck. Please, ass fuck.

Starting point is 00:26:20 Not again. It's ass and errand. It's ass and errand. No, ass fuck is what the game is. Oh my man So me and my brother Cardio We are here to help escort you through the game if you make it Aaron I mean fuck you get to play a Nintendo 64 the real deal. I get to play it I don't have to watch someone you get to play it hold the controller and everything holy shit

Starting point is 00:26:46 well that new legendary for you a girl playing video games and you get smacked you get smacked in the face with a tongue kissing you and groceries that's the cutest thing I've ever seen that's not a tongue that's shaved ham cheese that's groceries. Don't say Jesus. She had a hand makes me think of vagina cardio. So clearly, groceries has taken a fondest to you and groceries is like just at your side, really enthused and really wants you to pick him up. All right, groceries, here we go.

Starting point is 00:27:20 So the cardio bros explain to you that you have to make your way through a few levels of this system or this game. And each level is going to be a door that you have to make appear. And then in that level to kind of defeat the level or get through it, you have to answer a riddle. Okay. So you start on your path, and after a while you're at the spot where a door should be. There is no door, but you do see a riddle sort of a peer in front of you. Oh, interesting, no door though, huh?

Starting point is 00:27:49 No, no one of these. Is it another question mark block that we have to slap? Nope. So what it says here, where the door should be? I mean, some answer, no. No, I guess it's not. Where the door should be, you see sort of etched in the air, it says, once a monkey king,

Starting point is 00:28:03 but something went wrong, one little typo, and now I in the air it says, once a monkey king, but something went wrong, one little typo, and now I'm, and it says blank blank. Donkey Kong. Great, as you say Donkey Kong, the cardio brother shake their head, but a door does appear. You open the door, and you see in front of you a bipedal donkey.

Starting point is 00:28:21 The donkey is jacked. It's just absolutely massive in terms of it's upper body. This is a mud and parody. Wow, look at those pecs. And as you approach it, you notice that at the the the the jack donkey's side, there's a literal donkey with a backwards cap and a t-shirt that says p-ditty-cong. And the little p-ditty-cong is saying saying like take that take that and saying like bad boys for life stuff like that Yeah, as you walk through the door the door shuts behind you and dissolves the cardio bros and groceries are with you And you are greeted by the the donkey

Starting point is 00:28:56 Welcome as fuck Welcome my teams donkey come. Oh, do you have any barrels? In the morning. I'm throwing barrels. Oh boy. What a setup to that You set me up for that. Yeah, exactly. My name is Donkey Do you and you want don't it's nice to meet you don't keep on and it's nice to meet your little friend P. Diddy Kong. Yeah, P. Diddy Kong take that Okay, great Yeah, P. DiddyCon, take that. Okay, great.

Starting point is 00:29:24 Oh, Assin' Fuck, yes? Yes, we're Assin' Fuck, we're, you know, we're here trying to get our own Nintendo 64. Oh, yes, our own Nintendo 64 would be very nice. Yeah, can you help us? Yes, of course. You myself, already, from Donkey Kong. Can't wait to hear it in your voice. Well, here it goes. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh An English word has six letters. Remove one letter and 12 remains. What am I? What letter do you have 12 to make it?

Starting point is 00:30:11 Well, the word 12 has six letters. So it's an English word that has six letters. Remove one. That's it. And 12 remains. Remove one. one in 12 remains. Uh, remove one in the morning. I'm 12. 12 remains.

Starting point is 00:30:31 13. What's another word for 12? Doesn't. Doesn't. Yes. That's five letters. Uh-huh. Doesn't.

Starting point is 00:30:42 The word is doesn't. Doesn't. Yes. doesn't doesn't yes And I just realized I sound like Pennywise the clown Yes, you do I don't get that I don't get that reference. Yeah Well, it's a book We all know how the clouds out of the book so as you say dozens We all know how the clad sounds in the book. So as you say dozens,

Starting point is 00:31:04 Dunkin' Pity Kong, high five each other, and suddenly a little bit in front of you, where another door should be another riddle sort of appears in the air, sort of glowing as if handwritten in calligraphy. It says, Going to space,

Starting point is 00:31:21 seal the air locks, hop in my arwing with your friend. Stare of eggs. What ass said? Losing the ass, not me. The answer was car fox. The answer, you say star fox? Yes, you say star fox, the cardio-brose shake their head no, but a door does appear.

Starting point is 00:31:43 As you walk through the door dissolves behind you, and in front of you is the most unbelievable, we fuckable fox you've ever seen. No, so just a fox? I've seen more fuckable than this. He's wearing a leather jacket. He has cool sort of space pants with a holster and a little some sort of laser gun.

Starting point is 00:32:01 He has, there's probably some sort of frog thing next to him. I never played Star Fox, but this is what I see. Oh I don't worry, but I have you go through the whole cast And as your approach he he isn't looking towards you But you can tell that he's aware of you and he's sort of he he's still looking past you and ignoring you But he says well well well look with the get drew again as fuck Wonder if star fox will be my first game. Who? Is this Zat Branigan?

Starting point is 00:32:29 Who? Uh, my name is Fux McClown. From the game Star Fox. Uh-huh. Ooh. Do you think Fux McClown would be my first kiss if I asked? I don't think Fux McClown kisses. They might be.

Starting point is 00:32:42 No, you're right. I'm a Fox who fucks. Fux McClown? Because I take that ass to the moon and back. Uh-huh. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one.

Starting point is 00:32:50 I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one.

Starting point is 00:32:58 I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this one. I'm just gonna take this it doesn't matter. No, it does. I'm helping. How are we doing over here?

Starting point is 00:33:09 We're good. We're not interested. We're not interested. We know our names. Unless you have a riddle. Ass and fucks, but we don't. If you'd like to move along, I do have a riddle for you. What do you like?

Starting point is 00:33:21 8, 9, 10? Yeah. Exactly. What are you from Indiana? Yeah, you smell like paint thinner. Thank you so much. You've been huffing it? Honestly, I'd rather fuck this frog.

Starting point is 00:33:30 What is your name, sloppy? It looks like... Where's the bunny? Where's the bunny? The bunny, that's like, what's the bunny sound like? It's like, mom, mom, mom. Well, you're just like your father, Fox. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:42 Fox, you fuck like your daddy, Fox. That's awful. This is going perfectly. Well, I know that. I know that a yo. Nothing sums up Hey, Riddler, Riddler, more than that's awful. And there's an eagle over here, and it looks like your name is Fucco.

Starting point is 00:33:58 Here's your right, Fucco. Scrawl. And as you're trying to meet this whole cast of characters, groceries is at your, it's sort of tugging at your pants, trying to get your attention. Groceries, what is it, groceries? Groceries, groceries!

Starting point is 00:34:14 What's up? And groceries tongue flips out to a piece of paper and Star Fox hand. Oh, can we have that paper? Yeah, I'll read it to you, it's a riddle. Can you not read it sexy? Is that possible? I don't think that's possible. Oh boy. Take care kids I'm in it and it's game over. Oh, no. No, and it says continue 10 Continue eight continue continue continue. Continue. Continue. Both players say continue. Yes, so we continue and

Starting point is 00:34:45 Star Fox starts to read the riddle. I'm flat when I'm new, and I'm fat when you use me. What am I? A balloon. Is that right? It is a balloon. Oh, boy. I don't want to know what kind of balloon it is.

Starting point is 00:35:00 Oh, he gave me one. Ah, I don't need this. I don't want this. And he takes out a balloon and starts to stretch it like a clown does. Why is that so hard? And he does the doors. Let's get to that door. And he blows up the balloon and ties the end and gives it to Fuck as a little parting present.

Starting point is 00:35:17 Lots of it references. And as you take the balloon, Aaron, you start to float away. You grab hold of groceries, you grab hold of ass, and also the cardio roasts. And you also have JB thinking. Hang on and you start to float up to this guy. And with that, cardio, a quick little break. What was that? Oh, cardio bros.

Starting point is 00:35:42 We've gotten pretty far in the game. Is it possible in a Nintendo 65 to save our progress? A what? You mean a 910-Doo? A 910-Doo? Yeah, can we say, can we save? That's a great question. Absolutely not! Oh shit!

Starting point is 00:35:56 When we come back from break, you'll have to start over! Oh no! I think... I'm not kidding! I need such a Nintendo cafe! Hey, GPC! Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal, and I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice.

Starting point is 00:36:26 This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adal. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so, let me think for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on?

Starting point is 00:36:56 I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

Starting point is 00:37:15 design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.

Starting point is 00:37:30 No, he's gonna do it. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website to Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

Starting point is 00:37:47 I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Prank. Where's the space? You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC.

Starting point is 00:38:07 What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle

Starting point is 00:38:43 of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods isn't it funny to think about something like that like how they're never truly is a Middle no, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, uh, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. Uh, I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices. And the path forward isn't always clear, whether

Starting point is 00:39:22 you're dealing with decisions around career relationships being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a

Starting point is 00:40:05 license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Starting point is 00:40:35 R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in between the two Ds. Helping at home. Bye. Hope you get home. Bye, baby. I am home. Who are we? What is this?

Starting point is 00:40:53 I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's J.P.C.'s birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Starting point is 00:41:13 Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much,

Starting point is 00:41:27 especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling.

Starting point is 00:41:43 It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock, rock, and stuff. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop, no, Clint, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today

Starting point is 00:42:09 and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website And we're back so the two of you are holding onto the balloon We have sort of a chain of grip, dragging the whole cast along.

Starting point is 00:42:46 And as you float up, you can... I'm trying desperately to let go of the cardio bros. Please, no! Their claws are digging in the body. Don't let vagina fall! Let vagina fall! And as you sort of hit the top, the sort of ceiling in the air here,

Starting point is 00:43:03 another sort of area where a door would be appears. You see on that area written into the sky, it says, we'd be deliverance if we were a movie. A bear and a bird must be. Banjo Kizui! Banjo Kizui! Great, Nicaria Bros. shaked their head. Stop doing that.

Starting point is 00:43:21 You can't do setting pieces of shit. We just don't know who those are. Okay, we get it. A Google. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the balloon pops, everyone lands on the floor. The door dissolves. It's covered in something so sticky. This is so weird. And it's all the artery fat from the cardio bros, because they are human hearts and overalls, clearly ejecting fat constantly. Standing in front of you are not Banjo and Kazooie, but you do see what appears to be sort of a burly country

Starting point is 00:44:02 bumpkin bear with a mandolin who's just impossibly high. Next to the bear who's clearly high with a mandolin, you see a sort of revved up motorcycle with wings and you start to approach the bear in the motorcycle. Can't wait to hear the name for you. Oh nice he's doing a real boy. Yeah Let me introduce the two of us We're Gonja and Suzuki I'm so sorry. I was kidding. I'm so sorry. I was gonna get it Bung Jo

Starting point is 00:44:38 No, Gonja and Suzuki. Okay. Uh Gonjo. Oh,, Gonja. Gonja and Suzuki. Oh, Suzuki. Why does everything sound like a vagina to me? Is it Freudian? Is it just my brain? Are you saying things sound like vagina? Maybe it's because you're eight. You don't know a lot of words yet.

Starting point is 00:45:00 Maybe. And the bear cannot stop laughing. Just like, high-cell, just laughing as I don't know. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Indiana so multi oh then you probably want coke D.O.P. T.O.P.C Lots of Pepsi over coke fucking Well, why don't you get on Suzuki and I'll give you a riddle and you can ride around with that grocery bag appreciate okay normally you're the one that they ride and There's men really yes never played the game

Starting point is 00:45:44 You're the one that they ride and there's men really never played the game You wear a backpack that has Suzuki in your backpack That doesn't sound right. Okay, I motorcycle in my backpack. Yeah, well, that's a Suzuki I wouldn't call that a motorcycle Crocodile truck in my backpack And as you get on Suzuki and start to fly around revving the engine with groceries, Gonja reads you a riddle. I cannot hear or even see, but since light and sounds that may be, what am I? Can you say it again?

Starting point is 00:46:17 I cannot hear or even see, but I do sense light and sounds that may be. But I do sense light and sounds that may be. But I do sense light and sounds that may be. Can't hear or see. Can't hear a camera. Video camera. Put sense lights and sounds that may be. Think more organic than a camera. Yeah, I was gonna say can't hear or see.

Starting point is 00:46:40 So what are, is it, are you an animal? Lightning. Yeah. I'm a top animal. An animal that can't hear or see. A bat? No, bats can't hear because they have the sonar. Your worm.

Starting point is 00:46:53 I am. This might be something that bats eat. Oh, so batty bugs. Firefly. No. No. But it's a bug. It's a bug.

Starting point is 00:47:03 Okay, what's a bug that can't hear or see? But since lot and sounds that may be. Sends light. A boss. No butterfly. Don't mov's go towards light. Okay. What do you know?

Starting point is 00:47:20 The answer to this riddle. Okay, so. It's not a boss. What bug? Is it a lightning bug, not a log is it a lightning bug firefly is it a night time bug a guess it's a fly it comes out when it rains a worm it's a worm oh yeah and as you say worm the boss of the dirt Garja and Suzuki Suzuki celebrate and go nuts and do a little dance. I suppose never play the game. You would love it, please play it.

Starting point is 00:47:48 I wanna talk to you about it. Gondya and Suzuki. Great. So they usher you down a path to where there's another spot where there is a placement for a door, a door, and appearing in the air as always is another riddle. It says, I'm back with a hunch, but I'm not as Marelda. Don't think that I'm Link.

Starting point is 00:48:06 I'm the queen, name of. All right, hold on. Let's not fall for it this time. We know what it actually is. What do we think that the cardio bros named it? Say it again. Yeah. Back.

Starting point is 00:48:19 I'm back with a hunch, but I'm not as Marelda. Don't think that I'm Link. I'm the queen, name of. So what the, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, around the cardio bros. God, it's probably something stupid, like we were gonna guess, and then we're gonna get in there. He's like, no, it's pretzel done, it's like with pretzel done.

Starting point is 00:48:37 Oh, that's a fucked ass. Oh, you know it pretzel done? No, you can't. Let's just go in and give him the satisfaction. Okay, here we go, Zelda. As you say, Zelda, the cardio bros shake their head, but a door does appear. As you open the door, there's no humans that you can see.

Starting point is 00:48:54 It is a, what seems to be some sort of shrine, there's sort of moss and plant life around it. It's sort of emanating a glow. See, it's a smelda. Yeah, there's sort of a fountain in the shrine just sort of gently sort of running. You hear the lapping of water and you see sort of a glowing little ball of light.

Starting point is 00:49:13 Oh, the ball of light is sort of swirling and you hear. Hey, listen. Wow. Hey, listen. I click the top button on my controller, the upwards triangle button. Great, and immediately a box of text appears. Fun.

Starting point is 00:49:33 But you still hear ad nauseam. Hey! Listen! Yeah, this sucks. Are you doing an impression of Eric Keith on Hey, Ronald Riddle? Hey! Listen! In the box of text, because apparently this thing can only say those two words. You see a new riddle.

Starting point is 00:49:51 This is fairly short. What's the name, what's the name, that you gave? Oh, this is... No, there is no Zelda. There's no link. This is just some sort of fairy, water fairy. Okay. This isn't Navi.

Starting point is 00:50:04 You're up to no fucking good. This is Navu. This is Kwee-dab-Dal. This is Usnavi. Navu. And in the text box, there's a riddle that says which ring is square and that's the length of it. Which ring is square?

Starting point is 00:50:20 I gotta do you wanna get it though? I don't wanna say it. Which ring is square? I got it, but do you ask, do though? Do you want to say it? Which ring is square? I got it, but do you ask? Do you want to say it? Ringworm. No. Boxing ring. It is a boxing ring.

Starting point is 00:50:32 Wow. You hear the fairy, Tran Congratulate you, and uh, uh, Usnavi says, Hey, listen. Sort of shaking up and down. Story of my life. That fairy's putting its ponytail into that horses. But listen, listen with our Patreon,

Starting point is 00:50:49 one shot to go. And you approach a new door where a door should be. Yay. Writing in the air, you see a new little clue here. It says, gotta catch them all, throw a ball on the lawn. Short for pocket monster, they call us. Oh, here we go. What do we think? Uh, smoke him on. Uh, smoke him on. We've had our

Starting point is 00:51:10 Pokemon. You know you shouldn't smoke. It's bad for your heart. That's not proven. I got you. Oh, Chokemon. Oh, boy. What did you say? Nothing. Sock. Come on. Chokemon. my mom joke a non joke Go come on Most of Pokemon as you say Pokemon the cardio bro shake their head and I hear like crushies and a door does appear you walk through it dissolves behind you And you see what can only be described as a lightning enhanced pickle

Starting point is 00:51:41 You're about 10 feet away a lightning enhanced pickle. You're about 10 feet away. A lightning enhanced pickle. This is all you, Jamie. So hold on, I don't know if that is, my name is Anz. Lightning enhanced pickle Pokemon. Or is this a name of a specific type of Pokemon that's like pickled, Pikachu, and as you say that,

Starting point is 00:52:02 Pickle, Pikachu. Pickle, as you too say that the pickles eyes widening this pickle Jew pickle Jew pickle Jew pickle Well hold on hold on pickle Choo pickle Okay, I'm pickle you This is the first thing to doesn't tell like of a gin No, no, because that's a little redundant the other way. Yeah

Starting point is 00:52:27 Okay pickle chew. Pickle chew. Sure, just pickle chew. You're getting, you're right on the line, pickle chew. Pickle chew. Oh, pickle chew. And it runs and hugs you. Oh, it runs and it hugs fuck. Pickle chew, I choose you.

Starting point is 00:52:43 Oh, you're covered in bright. And pickle chew is over the moon, and you can see groceries is visibly upset. Groceries, groceries. Oh, don't be jealous, groceries. Mommy, do you a little bit of that baguette? And groceries, spit's out, it's tongue and grabs. Peekle two, swallow salmon.

Starting point is 00:53:00 There's just an egg left behind groceries. The fuck? Oh, we, you gotta break that egg open. You gotta break that egg open. Yeah. And Aaron, you done. Come on. We both continue.

Starting point is 00:53:13 I go up and slap the egg. It cracks, doesn't egg does when you slap it? Uh-huh. And in the egg, it's no longer a pickle too, but a piece of paper with a riddle. It says, my first is twice an apple, but not once in tart. My second is in liver, but not in heart.

Starting point is 00:53:32 And as it says, heart, the cardiovascular bros go, yeah. My third is in a giant and also in ghost, whole on best when I am roast. What am I? God, okay, so these are, it's a letter, Rital. Mm-hmm. And it sort of says the highlights again.

Starting point is 00:53:48 My first is twice in Apple, but not once in Tarte. My second is in Liver, but not in Heart. My third is in Giant, and also in Ghost. Hold on best when I am roast, what am I? Aaron, it is Pig. I got it. I got it, though. Yeah, pig, okay. And asses jealous. And asses always jealous. Asses jealous.

Starting point is 00:54:06 Asses jealous. As you say pig, you see someone from a previous door sort of rip open. The door had dissolved, but where the space was, you see two hands rip open. That was violent. That was violent. That was violent. Through the door comes a metal man. He's covered in blue.

Starting point is 00:54:21 And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. And he's covered in blue. but where the space was, you see two hands rip open. That was violent. Through the door comes a metal man. He's covered in blue armor. He has a cannon for an arm. For one of his arms, it's just a cannon. And at his side, he has a robotic dog.

Starting point is 00:54:36 We give up. And he's wearing a red hat. And you have met Maga Man. Oh boy. Oh fuck this. Fuck you, fuck this. Good man. Oh boy. Fuck this Fuck you fuck this. Hey, what'd you say? Would you say fuck this? Yeah, that's what we say unbelievable. Oh unbelievable her name is fuck you two are with these bleeding hearts Yeah, I mean technically bro. We can't get rid of the cardio Bro huh huh huh. I'm Maga man. Yeah, we are. This is my dog Limbaugh.

Starting point is 00:55:05 No, boy. Huh? Nothing. No, we understand. What did you say? Look, you're not here, is? And from the door as well, ripping through is a dog holding a shotgun.

Starting point is 00:55:18 And his t-shirt says, fuck on to any snickering. Oh, God. Everyone in this room has a tension headache. That, man. What are you doing here? Aren't you from, this is a 910-265? Uh-huh. Aren't you from a different system?

Starting point is 00:55:38 Oh. What does that mean, different system? You trying to take my guns? No, I just thought that you were, I mean, I'm not trying to take your penis. I mean your guns. Good, because I got a big gun. Five and a half inches.

Starting point is 00:55:52 That's big, huh? Well, I've heard me on 15. Yeah, I thought you, it's a, that's the first time I heard Casey laugh that's a dire, I was, I was, aren't you like a Capcom? It doesn't matter.

Starting point is 00:56:04 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Hey, it doesn't matter. I'm glad you're here. You are? Well, you're going to I'm here? No, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I robotic dog. You hear a room, you think it's maybe Suzuki, but as you turn around, you see that the Mario, the cardio bros. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:56:32 There we go, oops, it's a daisy. Have brought shopping carts, they brought their cardio carts and you all hop into the... You all hop into those carts. This cardio cart full of veg cart. Card to party. Oh, who needs this much kale? We're about to play cardio cards. Because it's sort of like Mario card. Aaron, this is for you. I can't stress this enough. This is heaven's end. And you get into the cardio

Starting point is 00:56:59 cards as a man starts to shoot from his arm cannon and as the fuck starts to shoot at you. cannon and I said, fuck, I'm gonna start to shoot at you. You're dodging these bullets and you make your way about a mile down the way. You're trying to throw torches shells behind you, what not, and you come across a riddle in front of you as you continue to go in the carts. Keep driving on the sand.

Starting point is 00:57:22 It says, I keep jumping and it's actually really good for my turning. You see the real says, he's the shroom that you want. If you're on Rainbow Road, don't double park your cart or my friend, you'll get... ...showed! And the cardio bro's shaking like, yes. It's gotten doomed! And the door opens up and your cart's fly through and it dissolves right as Magaman and fuck cut and dog get stuck behind it. And you

Starting point is 00:57:48 see that was a close one. You see what looks like a but some of the stuff that Magaman was saying kind of made sense. No, okay. Come here, come here, come here, come here. Yeah. Oh, my first slap from a lady. There will be many more. Daddy's addicted. a lot from a lady. There will be many more. Daddy's addicted. No, not dad.

Starting point is 00:58:04 And you see in front of you what looks like, it looks like a toad stool, but it's way wider than it is. No, no. Don't describe this, we see it. Well, it's either Chote or stool. Which character do you want? That would be good. And so it's about as wide as it is tall.

Starting point is 00:58:24 And. Can someone give me a ride home? And Chote says. Do you want that we're good and so it's as bad as white as is tall and Someone give me a ride home And chose as I can I'm choked oh boy. Hi, welcome. Do you have a riddle for us? Oh, you want to get straight into it? Yeah, not not dying to hang out here. We don't want to dwell on you great. Here's the riddle Run smoother than any rhyme. Loves to fall but cannot climb. What am I? Diarya. Okay. Can you read it again? Run smoother than any rhyme. Loves to fall but cannot climb. What am I?

Starting point is 00:58:58 Leaf. Ah, no. It runs smoother than any rhyme. Yeah. I'm gonna win. Ah, no. It runs smoother than it is. Yeah! Yeah! I'm a Ganoian! Loves to fall, but cannot climb. Shout his king! Oh boy. Shout!

Starting point is 00:59:12 Ugh. Run smoother than any rhyme. Loves to fall, but cannot climb. What if it's a hint? Um, let's see. Loves to fall, but cannot climb. Yeah, what is it like the season fall? Um, it's time.

Starting point is 00:59:25 It has to do with seasons and falling. It says it loves to fall. Pepper. Salt. Is it yeah? Well, I'm saying yeah, just to be supportive, but you're dead wrong. Chowds are gonna win.

Starting point is 00:59:38 Oh boy. So it's not like seasoning. Yeah, chowd. What? It's not seasoning. Well, no. Okay. But it has to do with seasons, I guess, but not seasoning. Yeah, I showed. What? It's not seasoning. Well, no. Okay. But it has to do with seasons, I guess, but not seasoning. Is it snow? Um, in a way. Water. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Starting point is 00:59:53 It's what, well, stop. You got it. It's water. You got it. Hail. Stop. You got it. Gravity. Stop. Let's go further out. Uh, shall I? I'm gonna win. King Chowd. And as Chowd continues to rant and rave, you see off into the distance, you see a flag pole. At the top of the flag pole, sort of a pennant, or I guess you would call it a flag, but it's in the shape of sort of a pennant. And there's sort of a brick stairway leading up to the flag, but there's a big gap in between the brick stairway

Starting point is 01:00:22 and the flag, probably about 15 feet or so. Oh no. Cardio bros, how do we get over that gap? Oh, you have to run up the stairs and run and jump. And trust, trust in each other, as a fuck. Okay, I think I... I mean, yeah, you really have to have a lot of trust to ask for.

Starting point is 01:00:42 I relax, all you have to do it. Relax. No, I have a conversation about it. I have a conversation about it. I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, uh, Lewaide-jine? Vajaina! I grab out of Vajaina, Dawson, to try to see if I can get him to hit the flag. The Y-Chai starts to soar and makes it past 90% of the stairs and then falls and breaks his neck. Oh, he's gonna come right now. Oh, no! Oh, no!

Starting point is 01:01:21 You told me to jump, you little brother fucker! Lewaide-jine, kill me! Kill me! And his neck, the bones in his neck are jutting out of his neck. No, you told me to jump you motherfucker And was his net use the bones in his knackered jetting out of his okay You still alive How yeah, and since he is a human heart with bones inside You see that the pumping starts to slow and slow Well, you get to come back. We haven't finished you live. I'm not worried about it And we do.

Starting point is 01:01:45 We do. Well, goodbye. And you watch, as you say goodbye, you watch the life drain out of Lewajai cardio. Oh, sad. Goodbye, vagina. I'll see you later. Cardio, you said that we could make that jump,

Starting point is 01:01:59 so why didn't Lewajai make it? Your next one. Your next one. Oh, no, wait. I know a riddle that will help with more staves. It's a good girl. Yeah, say, tell us that. Okay, I should have been there for your brother, Dad.

Starting point is 01:02:12 Please, uh, please, uh, please. We'll kill your whole fucking family. No, my wife, please think of my wife. I'm not safe, I'm not. My wife, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait What kind of coat is always a wet when you put it on? A dog's coat. Mmm. Fresh trees. And grocery starts to sort of wag its tongue. So it's like a food coating coat.

Starting point is 01:02:51 Um, no. Uh, coat of paint. Coat of paint. That's it. Oh, coat of paint. Nice. You tell me you never eat paint in a pinch. A lot.

Starting point is 01:03:00 And worse, everything I eat has a picture paint. Well, you're, you're fucking from Indiana. Uh-huh. And as you berate cardio, more stairs start to grow to where you have a full path all the way to the flight. I pick up cardio, go to the top and throw him off the side. Avada Kedavati. Oh no, it's all coming back.

Starting point is 01:03:24 As you toss cardio, cardio is high enough up, where he just explodes. Oh, no thing. Okay, so be careful of that. And you are, as you climb up, you are inches away from the flag. Oh great. Okay, so be careful of that.

Starting point is 01:03:38 I walk up, like, Gershree's, you're with us now. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go in your shoulders, get to the top of the flag, so we get an extra life. Oh yeah good call. Same grocery sorry we killed your mom and dad or whatever we did. Groceries. Great. I take. Sorry we killed your mom or dad or whatever we did. I take it Apple. So you think you think Martin Luigi or Yoshi's model.

Starting point is 01:04:00 I grab an apple out of groceries. says I grab an apple out of groceries to take a sitting by as you grab an apple out of groceries groceries immediately dies that was that was it's heart that was it's heart that other thing was a heart how am I supposed to know this apple's all fucking it's a gritty Smith and you just hear a death rattle of groceries oh don't say that and and the bag of groceries shitits it, so. BOOM! I'm sorry, fuck. I'm sorry I killed all of your friends. You're such a jerk. And the flag is inches away. Okay.

Starting point is 01:04:32 Okay, I'm gonna get in your shoulders. I'm gonna get the points. Here we go. Okay. Fair space. Aaron grabs it very top of the flag. You're almost for a moment. You're almost sitting on the flag

Starting point is 01:04:41 and you hear paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming. Get me! So, uh, that's what place when you're sitting on the flag and you hear paranoia paranoia everybody's coming to get me so that's what place when you're sitting on the flag and then you slide down you see an extra life go up to your infinity circle and shrug and then just like you slide down and waiting for you at the bottom the game sort of turns back into hang-em it turns back into your living. Waiting for you back in your living room with a flag still sitting in the middle of your room is Molly and she is there weeping crying. She thought that she lost you. She holds out to you from behind her back, she gives you a bag. You're skeptical because you know that Molly's been a little rude to you

Starting point is 01:05:26 before, a little mean, wouldn't let you play. But as you're- Aaron said no good bitch. That was- No. No, okay. That's what you said. But Molly hands you a bag. What is it? You take the bag. There's a real bag. There's a real bag. And you look inside the bag. Wow. Aaron's got a real bag. Oh my God. Are you serious? Ah.

Starting point is 01:05:47 It's an Nintendo 64. Where did you get this? Well, the bag says the exchange on it, so I'd guess that you bought it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my God, and it has Banjo Kazooie. Hi. Are you serious?

Starting point is 01:06:02 Aaron's work? It does, it's work. Are you serious? And so Molly is work. Are you serious? And so Molly gives you the N64 with, with, uh, banjo and can do it. Well, I say in the game, I'll give it to you. I'll pay for it, but that's, uh, and then I hear the, Aaron pulls out what I can only describe as two shoe boxes full of loose applesauce. And a little cartridge. I should have done that.

Starting point is 01:06:20 This is banjo kazooie. This is Banjo Kazooie. This is really nice. And as you're appreciating the gift, you hear a message from Molly. I'll play it for you. Did Molly record it? Are you kidding? No way! That's crazy! Hey Aaron, it's your sister Molly. I'm glad you had your fun, but I've been waiting and I need some pink juice and

Starting point is 01:06:49 cheeses. So you better get back to work. And don't forget the dish towel. I like the way it looks. It should be draped over your left arm or running a professional establishment here. So you need to get it right. Okay, I love you, bye. Oh my God, I'm crying. I'm having a little riddle. This is the most embarrassing podcast to cry on. So you and Molly embrace and hug and you wake up

Starting point is 01:07:22 back in Chicago current day present day You're in your apartment the microwave is clean and still in your bed as you wake up You're still clutching the Nintendo 64 with banjo and kanzui those years to keep Aaron genuinely crying. I don't deserve it So Aaron you live a wonderful, happy, long life. We celebrate Aaron, credits roll, we see the makers of the game. Still stuck inside the game. It's...

Starting point is 01:07:52 Oh my God. Oh my God. Watchdull, man. Still stuck inside the game. I like to start to tap all the glass. Oh my God. As you tap on the glass, the two shoe boxes of apple sauce topple over. You're stuck inside the game and you see a doorway up here.

Starting point is 01:08:11 There's no riddle to be solved. It's just a regular door almost to like an apartment or a condo. You go through the door and inside is a man who looks like he's been expecting you. You suddenly look down and you realize that you're wearing overalls. The same overalls that the cardio brothers were wearing. Oh, God. And the man approaches you. What took you so long?

Starting point is 01:08:32 What do you mean what took me so long? Huh? I called you hours ago. What? I have a toilet that's backed up full of shit. You're a plumber, right? I do. You're with the cardio, bro.

Starting point is 01:08:43 Do I have a plunger in my hand? Suddenly a plunger does appear. Oh, yeah, Uh, I do what? You're with the cardio, bro. Do I have a plundering on my hand? Uh, suddenly a plunder does appear. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm, I, yeah, I'm a plumber and I'm doing it. Great, I have a riddle for you. What clogged my fucking toilet? I know, a big shit, you just, I know, ding, ding, ding, big old shit.

Starting point is 01:08:57 Yeah, get to work. Okay. You have a job, right? Yeah, I guess I'm a plumber. Mm-hmm. Do I look up at, do I still have infinite lives as you look up the sideways eight that represents infinity goes upright Two and eight it goes down to seven six five four three two one And the one starts to kind of shake. Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess

Starting point is 01:09:19 I guess I'll go clean the toilet for you sir. Great. Uh, God. Oh, this is a lot of shit. This is all from you. This looks like maybe like a family did this. Nope. Just you. But I take all kinds of shit. What's your diet? Big shit.

Starting point is 01:09:38 And G.P.Z. is stuck in the game forever. As asked the plumber, um, till his dying day working on clogging trovers and that's the episode that's Nintendo Cafe. My God. Oh my God. Happy, it's your new Sushi Nintendo Cafe. That is one of the... This is definitely my favorite episode of all time. Thank you so much.

Starting point is 01:10:16 The JPC deserves it. This is crazy. He deserves what he got. Um, JPC, anything you want to plug? Uh... Wait, wait, wait. Adel got me an Nintendo 64. This is the best day of my life.

Starting point is 01:10:27 Thank you so much. You're welcome. Also that recording, thank you Molly for recording that. That's really sweet. She said, pink juice, which is what I called cranberry juice, ocean spray forever. And it's red. So what the fuck was I thinking?

Starting point is 01:10:40 But that is, this is really, this is like one of the most thoughtful things you've ever done for me. And I really, I just don't, I can't thank you enough, thank you. Well, thank you for Hey Riddle sitting. Can't wait to interrupt Aaron's plug time. Okay, I don't know what that was. Go ahead. And Aaron, you have to have us over and we will, James and I will sit and watch you play Banjo in Kazoo. No, that's not true. You'll be Nintendo Cafe. I'll get you some sharkrooterie and make you drink Ocean Spray.

Starting point is 01:11:03 No, maybe we'll do a live stream of all of us playing that in. Oh, please, yes. I'll get you, I'll get you some shark-cruiterie and make you drink ocean spray. So maybe we'll do a livestream of all of us playing that in. Oh, please, yes. Yeah. I'll get you an Indiana Coke, a Pepsi. Disgusting. Um, J.A.P. Same thing you want to play. No, I don't think I got anything to play. You can always follow me on Twitter at J.P. So Flug.

Starting point is 01:11:18 Well, that's a plug. Yeah, sure. Don't act like you don't have something to say something. Um, something I want to play is the Chicago board game cafe. I went there the other day, this is from our friends at Carzagin's community. They open up a board game cafe in Chicago. It's absolutely incredible.

Starting point is 01:11:32 They have escape rooms, one of the rooms, or maybe both of them are created by Sandy Weiss, our own plus hours. Yeah. We own him, can contractually. So it's some of the best escape rooms you'll ever do. The food is incredible, incredible, the atmosphere is incredible, it's absolute magic.

Starting point is 01:11:49 So please go to the board game cafe, you can check them out on Twitter at Chicago Game Cafe or their website, ChicagoGameCafé.com. Tell them HeyRiddle sent you and you won't get anything, but just be nice for them to. But they'll get off. They'll get off. So please check that out.

Starting point is 01:12:04 Also, I do want to mention, if you want to send us something, letters, whatever you want to send us, you can send that to Hey Riddle Riddle, Care of I-O-Theter, that's at 1501 North Kingsbury, Chicago, Illinois, 6-0-6-4-2. A few people sent some stuff.

Starting point is 01:12:18 Unsolicited, we thank you for that. Adam F sent me a Texas Chainsaw Massacre Tiki mug, which is amazing. Julia Harrison sent us some homemade goods that she knitted that are incredible. A gentleman named James sent us a hot sauce roulette wheel, which is really cool. My name is Sully.

Starting point is 01:12:33 I think it's Sully or Sully. Sully? Sully? Sully sent us our sent me a chinchilla that I put various hats on around my house. I'm having the time of my life. People have also been sending us riddle books that they find and all of them,

Starting point is 01:12:47 every book that we've received looks like it is haunted. So, oh my God, really. We appreciate it. We'll do an episode of haunted books. We can appreciate you sending us cursed books. The book's made out. The book's made me like 1920s riddle books that I can't wait to use.

Starting point is 01:13:00 That's for. I was like, this room has a bad energy now and it's like, it's these riddles books. Please are what have you done. And I also want to thank Casey Tony for the clearly wonderful work they did editing this episode and Arnie Parrott for the new theme song, the new Nintendo Cafe theme song. Aaron, anything you want to plug? Follow me Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram and Aaron, keep 2 on Twitter. I have lots of projects and various things coming up

Starting point is 01:13:25 like sketches and other stuff that you can find there. Also message me on Instagram and I can maybe try to get you free tickets to World News tonight. And Aaron, do you want to maybe plug in that Nintendo 64? Yeah, I'm gonna plug in. I cannot believe it. We have to do like a review crew of Banjo Kazooie or something. Absolutely.

Starting point is 01:13:44 Please. Thank you. Truly, truly thank you. This is so nice. I can't believe it. And Sean's going to freak out. We're going to never leave our apartment again. And famously, Banjo and Kanzooie.

Starting point is 01:13:56 Kanzooie, is that a... Kanzoo, well, in your version, it can be whatever. Famously, Gans Kanzooie. Kanzooie's a... Famously... Kanzooie Maria CVS is married. Famously Gonja and Suzuki are from the planet. Jupiter!

Starting point is 01:14:09 Bye for my favorite episode ever. Okay, I'm over. Adela, I'm freaking out. Bye. Sorry, Eric. And John Patrick Cullen. Casey Toney to the editing. Now, are you parent in the music Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily DeBora

Starting point is 01:14:30 I'm never gonna leave my house or do any work, never gonna work again I'm never gonna leave my house or do any work. Never gonna work again. I'm never gonna work again. Now that I've got Nintendo. That was a hitgun podcast. That was a headgun podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle - #86: Hey Nintendo Cafe!

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